Tuesday feels great! I’m filled with excitement and gusto. It’s so different to yesterday and I thank the good ‘jollies’ for it! I have a black coffee by my side, to protect me from evil and an updo bobbled in tight, to hold any form of dignity, that I may possibly left, firmly in place.
These 37 years have been colourful. WONDERFUL, but boy have they been colourful. YET, let’s face it, if you don’t have a lifetime memory bank, filled with fun, trials, tribulations and well… mainly debauchery, than what do you have? 🙂 (Sense probably. Lol)
I KNOW, that when I’m 80 years old, withering away in some old people’s home because everyone’s forgotten to love me…with my rummy cocktail, still probably posting on instagram, because I’ll mistakenly believe i’ve still ‘goddit‘…..I KNOW, that my ‘when I was young…’tales will be OUTSTANDING.
The older I get the more open my tales will become on this blog, waaaay before i’m 80 and simply because I’ll careless about being inappropriate. 🙂
I’m currently sat in on someone’s shoot, a chick friend of mine, I’m gonna call her ‘Daisy.’
Daisy: ‘Don’t call me Daisy. It makes me sound like a cow.’
Me: ‘Yeah, you’re right. You’re more of a bitch…Lol. Shall I go with *Tinker* because you’re a nuisance…?’
Daisy: ‘Yeah, I love that!!’
I went with Daisy. My blog. My rules. 🙂
Anyway, I have meetings for the entire rest of the day and a Skype audition later, yet I said, I’d come sit in on her shoot, as it’s her first ever, ‘boudoir’ shoot…and she feels all nervous. (It’s basically just a ‘Glamour Shoot’ where she has to lay around and pout in her undies.) She wants me to tell everyone that she’s ‘not trying to be a model’…but SHE IS, trying to be a model. Lol. (There’s nothing wrong with ‘trying to be a model.’)
Me: Did you even practice?’
Me: ‘Well, that’s a good start. As if you’ve come, booked in and not even practiced!!! It’s like you haven’t trained for your game, or revised for your exam.’
Daisy: ‘Do you practice…’
Me: YES! ALL THE TIME!!
She’s currently stood in a studio in Leeds and warm because i’ve made them turn the heating on full blast. (Mainly because I don’t wanna sit in the cold and everyones shit at shooting in the cold.) She’s in knickers, heels and a dressing gown, looking like she’s lost her way to the Post Office, or something? Lol
Daisy: ‘Why are you laughing??? Can you stop taking the piss out of me! And can you stop typing everything that I’m saying to you. You’re meant to be helping me!!’
Me: ‘I am! I’m lightening you up! You’re like a plank of wood. You need to relax more, wiggle into it a bit. You look as though, you FEEL about as sexy as that door knob.’
Daisy: ‘Door knob. Cheers. Lol’
Me: No. Lol. Like, if you look at that door knob, it’s all stiff and dull. Take three screws out of it and let it dangle off the door, on one screw…. and swing it. It’s now sexy.’
Daisy: Shut the F*** up Wunna! This is like some kind of Mr Miyagi training. I don’t do this every morning after the school run, like you! Have you called me Tinker?’
Me: ‘Yes…’ 😉
Anyway, so whilst they’re setting up, I’m blogging and it’s annoying because i’m sat by a really sunny window and I can’t exactly see my screen very well…It’s cool, it’s like typing blind and hoping for the best! Kinda like, how my real life pans out…
But I say it all the time. From my experience….a glamour shoot, a boudior shoot, isn’t about what you’re wearing or what you’re not wearing.
It’s about FEELING SEXY IN IT, FEELING FULFILLED & FEELING ALL WOMANLY. You can plonk anyone in a pair of heels, stockings and pants and if they don’t feel secure, fluid, sexy or happy….you can tell. They look like an awkward cardboard cut out, that’s about to get run over, by a slow moving, oncoming tractor and they don’t know what to do?
Me: ‘Yo! Don’t try and *be a model*…Try and be YOU in the shots. What makes YOU sexy. You’re doing a weird model face.’
Daisy: ‘It’s my DEAD EYES. I haven’t got my specs on. It feels all blurry.’
Me: ‘Hahahahah! Good! Like you’re drunk! Now you CAN’T see what’s around you, so you can go for it… Glamour into the blur. LOL.’
Daisy: ‘I hope you get on a show soon, where you’re trapped for weeks and everyone has a proper go at you. Lol. I’ll laugh and just shout *glamour into the blur, bitch.*
I’ve just turned some music on, because I don’t know how anyone can shoot well without tunes on. (Do notice, how i’m simply altering her surroundings to suit ME. Haha.) Gets you in the mood, doesn’t it!
(I’ve put this on… So SEE! I AM TRYING TO HELP.)
This is the hardest blog to write ever, because I keep having to get up, run off, do stuff and run back, simply to type a paragraph. (She’s now moaning because i’ve been offered a drink and she hasn’t.)
Daisy: Aw! Yeah! Offer Chrissie Wunna a drink, but not me.’
She’s shooting now, so i’m not gonna disturb her.
But anyway, I’ve been getting a load of messages from people who are shocked that i’m Northern, that i’m Yorkshire. I am.
Definitely born ‘Yorkshire’ have two Burmese parents, travelled over to LA and sounded American for years, (but I had to learn to do that because no one could understand what I was saying and when I was on tv show auditions, they didn’t want me to have a British accent…I even had to go see a dialect coach, to change my accent.) Then I landed back in the UK, did the ‘living in London,’ thing for work, where my accent turned all posh for a bit… and now i’m back in Yorkshire…So, basically my accents all muddled! How would I describe it..?
It’s like having a pub lunch, in a Chinese restaurant, as hip hop music plays in the background and you’re on the phone to The Queen.
Long story short…I am from Yorkshire.
Right, I’ve got a lot to do today and I need to go help her on her shoot. It’s my daughters 7th birthday at the weekend and she’s wanting a trip to ‘Sundown Adventure Land’ this Saturday.
My friend Nick, is on ‘The Best Boys’ of ‘Take Me Out, this Saturday, after causing a Take Me Out **hoo haa,** the last time he was on the show! I’m excited to watch him and I really want him to have this amazing career in telly, because he deserves it.
I’m still bubbling with excitement to shoot my CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM advert and t pick up a new whip!
Thank you for all the love on my ‘socials.’
I certainly need more coffee.
Quote of the day! One that I spied last night!
‘NEVER CONFUSE WHAT YOU’RE OFFERED WITH WHAT YOU’RE WORTH!’
Lots of love,