Learning Life as I go along & a Cactus

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Aww! Today I was gonna *boast* about how happy I am! How free I’m feeling! How *dipped* in independency and swirled in ‘doing my own, diddly do,’ I am. How lucky that little old ‘life dice’ has been rolled, for me. How great my ‘Talking Heads’ 😉 ¾ hairpiece is making me look, to say I didn’t have time to wash my hair, this morning.

Then *chugga,chugga,chugga* the left back wheel of my car decides to not turn and *yippadeedoo,* I’m all broken down again.

Hurrah! *Can Can* kicks all around. And ‘balls’ to it. Let’s throw in a jazzy conga line.

Away from that, exciting things are happening. Breaking down was actually fine. It forced me to have to take a wee little stroll, distant from work, whilst delivering an opportunity to actually ‘smell the roses.’ I forget to. I OFTEN do. And I’ve noticed that at times, I’ll sort of live in the past. I’ll look back and have a cosy ‘dwellathon,’ instead of marching forward. (I have the word ‘MARCH’ tattooed on my inner right arm & yes it is the last name of a boy I met in LA, who I never actually dated J..However, now, whenever I look at it, it reminds me to stride forward.) You shouldn’t look back, you might trip over feelings. You can do that when you’re 80, because by that time, ‘looking back’ and memories, will be all you have.

OR YOU COULD BE ORDERING 102 CATS LIKE MOI, SO YOU CAN SIT AND CRY IN A LONELY BEDSIT.

I’ve also notice that when you CRAVE an outcome, a result, that you can’t actually control and you do it without patience. It can be in work, in love…or anything? (Do know that I am not naturally a patient person. I’m certainly someone who wants, what I want…and kinda wants it NOW. Lol I don’t like things that are too hard to get and I’ve only LEARNT to be patient of recent, because I’m a child. J ) When you find yourself doing that…You’re living in the future and although i’m a stickler for dreaming and turning dreams into a reality. Y’know ‘grafting the grind’ to get to where you want to be…It’s just not a healthy shimmie of ‘ooh laa,’ is it? It sprinkles a shower of stress, on your merry kitten soul, which absorbs through your system before..

 EATING YOU ALIVE!!

CALL THE DOCTOR!

So, I guess…. RIGHT NOW, THIS MINUTE, THIS MOMENT.. is ALL that matters. It’s the people who can appreciate where they currently are, with an utter comfortable happiness, that stay balanced, emotionally well and therefore get the opportunity wiggle their hand, over that juicy little ‘success button.’

It’s hard, innit? But it’s true. And the clichéd.. ‘You could walk out onto the street today and get run over by a bus,’ thing, is a saying that we’ve all heard people chirp out. ..every chirpy day. We hear it! We never really absorb it! We don’t really think it would happen! So  we don’t at all care!

But STOP PRESS… it could..

So, if I could teach you anything, from how I’m feeling about my life right now, at a jolly 37 years old..It would be, to make sure that you DO TRY to appreciate the present..This little minute. It’s good for the soul…and makes Pina Coladas be a delicious act of merriment, rather than a reason to drown those sassy sorrows.

I shouldn’t go on walks should I! Haha.  I sound like flipping ‘Dolly Do Gooder.’

Spreading cheer, every day! Where’s the RUM??

Anyway, like I said, lots of exciting work things are happening. I always say that, and stop.

I’ve put my love life on hold, because it never seems to be my forte. It never makes me happy, because I never find my ‘Hero,’ do I? I’m not ready to! I’m happy as I am and I’m fully concentrating on work…on Wunna Land. MY Land. I feel quite fulfilled. But I feel like I have my hands full, already!

Guys, never make life easy on you, do they? Plus, let’s face it, I don’t really fancy a dollop of heartbreak, right now. It only sends me to the nearest bar, to cry into a cocktail afterward. I’ve got used to being SO unlucky in love, that it doesn’t even make me cry anymore. Which is a positive. Haha. It doesn’t even bother me. I can now, quite happily, read a message, hear a ‘no,’ feel a ‘nah, babe’ and casually move it along, whilst Salsa Dancing.

AND THAT MY DOLLS, IS SUCH A DELICIOUS SUPER POWER.

I’m back on your telly shortly. I’m auditioning. I’m working really hard. I’m currently doing a lot of waiting…That’s why I rambled on about patience earlier. Lol. I’m not a good ‘waiter.’ I’m a GO GET IT, with BZINGA, kinda girl.  I’m writing a lot for people.  I’m lucky, because i’m getting to ‘article’ and express for all kinds of brands, in diary form, which is just something that I was kinda born to do. I think, i’d like a really popular column one day. Saying that, I have a popular blog, a space in cyber land, already, which is serving me pretty well. I’m still watching Love Island, yet it’s getting a bit ‘vanilla’ now. I only like it when there’s ‘drama, drama, drama,’ eliminations and a ‘What has Adam done now,’ episode. That definitely means i’m sick. But I love that about me. I’m the squeezed lime in your Corona.

Influencing is going well. But I’m putting time to one side, because i’m actually currently writing a book. I’m writing it myself and I’m never gonna hit the deadline. It’s had to be pushed back and pushed back, sooo many times, that my agent is fuming and ‘shitting all kinds of literary bricks.’ The funny things is, it’s only a re release and redition of my previous book, so you’d think i’d have it easy. I must like to make things…I’d prefer to say ‘tings,’ hard for myself. I enjoy working under pressure. Leave me to my own devices and I’ll just go off, have a rummy cocktail, chat to friends, take the babies to the zoo…literally anything but sit and write the goddamn book. J

I’ve just taken a picture of a cactus. I have no clue why? But I’m currently blogging from Ackworth Garden Centre, at their coffee shop. In case you didn’t know, a CACTUS, is actually my favourite thing to buy a date….early on in ‘the tango.’

I once bought a boy one, during a ‘hotel night’ date. It was our third date.. It looked like a penis and he loved it so much, he left it there. Haha. I prefer it when they save the Cactus and treasure it forever. It’ll remind them of their prickly time with me. He was a douche anyway and I’m never one to ever say someone is a DOUCHE, unless they really are one. (You know who you are.) That was years ago by the way. I’m like a Villan who leaves ‘Cacti’ across lands, whilst evil laughing.

Right, i’m off now. I’m hoping my car’s fixed soon. I’m SO GLAD IT’S THE WEEKEND and I’ll be spending it ALL, with my little ‘charms,’ my babies..Ruby & Junior. When I was driving them to school this morning, I shouted out…

‘Ruby…Junior…I love you both SO MADLY.’

They paused….’Freaky Friday’ was playing in the background and they just BURST INTO, the most joyous fit of laughter…Then told me my boobs look like ‘coconuts.’

Then we broke down. Haha. I wouldn’t have it any other way.  😉

Thank you for following my life…

 

 

Tequila Shots, Flirts & The End of Wedding Season

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So, we head into Rogerthorpe Manor for the reception dinner. Lead by a guy in a Gucci tie, who everyone thought was a guest. He wasn’t, he was the ‘Master of Ceremonies’ I guess? Is that what he was? I don’t know? He was lively and witty, let’s say. However Laura, Toby & I still managed to make fun of him every half hour, because he kept skipping out of nowhere…a doorway, a table, a bush…and scorning us politely, for not being at the right place, at the right time…at least he did it in Gucci.

Gucci Tie: ‘It’s the speeches now…So you all need to get back inside.’

Me: ‘It’s not the speeches yet. I’ve just spoke to Guy & Neil…and LOOK, they’re all the way up the garden, by that dodgy stone woman.’

(There was the most hilarious giant woman made of out stone in the garden. She was half naked, shoulder crouching & holding part of a robe in front of her, to cover her modesty…YET SHE LOOKED TERRIFIED. Like Jackie Chan was gonna hurtle out the trees naked and Kung Fu her. Or like Toby was about to sell her a car. 😉 ) 

Anyway, I was sat on a different table to Laura & Toby. For once, I wasn’t on the naughty table. I think I was on the ‘some of us are single’ table. Everyone was  talking about diggers and how exciting they found Power Plants though, so it confused me. Then at least convo ‘sexed’ up a bit, when they boobs took the focus.

All polite. All such fun. Don’t really rememebr anyone’s name. But I do know that someone was German, two people were single….and they all love Guy whenever he gets naked in pubs? Hilarious table. Filled with smut. They couldn’t have welcomed me more. To my left was a gent, who had been Guy’s ‘Best Man’ twice before, yet didn’t get the ‘role of’ this time around. Lol.

AWKS! Hahaha.

Then the day turned to dusk as the traditional comedy speeches were being made…and we all ventured back outside onto the lawn for more drinks. The sun was shining. The sky was still blue. You need fresh air at weddings, because that’s what keeps you alive! It’s like I started the day again…Yet maybe that was the gin…

Laura: ‘Right now, I could put my tracksuit on, some flats, tie my hair on top of my head…and just chill in the sun…with this gin. I got you one too..’

Me: ‘Awww! Thank you! That creepy, stone woman is urking me out.’

Then people whopped out the cigars…

Toby: ‘He looks like a Don.’

More drinking was going on…I kinda left Vicki to do the wedding rounds, like you must! I met the rest of her family, mid gin though and I loved that! I mean, I adore little Estelle and have known her anyway. But I got to meet her sons…Ben & Andy…and Ben’s chick, who was dressed in red and I love a girl who rocks a red dress.

Excitement must have got the better of us…

Someone told us that the music had been turned on, so I tinkered on in armed with my new East London crew…Lol…and Let’s just say Toby, Laura & I, got the party started. Well, we just inappropriately *bumped* and *grinded* to whatever the DJ was playing, whilst forcing him to ‘turn it up, turn it up’ and watching Page Boys ‘Floss’ and Bridesmaids ‘Hair toss.’

We were drinking our through it….But I still didn’t feel pissed yet? And when i’m at a wedding, I want to be pissed.

At this point, things ‘wilded’ up…Everyone still looked beautiful. ‘Bobby’ (Roberta) had shown up, out of the blue, in blue, looking stunning and not wearing knickers….

‘Chrissie look under her dress and see if she has any knickers on…’

(I love ‘Bobby’ because she’s a wild one like me. She didn’t know if she had an official invite. She just watched my Insta story, got dressed and rocked up. Hahaha! She LIVES! I mean, you’ll find ‘BobbyShe’ll be naked. Not care…and you’ll have to deal with it. She does the Wunna Land ‘Live life/YOLO Ting’ and it’s bliss. You’re only here once. If you’re lucky, you’ve got 100 years to just enjoy being alive.)

Andy’s now buying me Tiger Beers, because I was Asian and he fancied me a bit Lol. Toby & Laura disappeared for a few…and I’m sure they went for a quick ‘moment‘ upstairs. 😉  Yet, they assured me that no such ting happened. They were apparently looking for me, everywhere…

Andy: ‘Do you think, I have a chance with her…’

Laura: ‘No…lol’

The wedding was great and the dance floor filled. A giant, fun photobooth with props had been set up, so ‘Bobby’ and I smashed it THREE TIMES, because we’re the Ultimate Queen of Selfie and i grumbled a bit, because it moved too fast for my Insta story. Haha.

Then I don’t know what happened, but Andy, Ben, His Red Dressed Girlfriend, Laura, Toby and I…ended up at the faaaaaaar end of the bar, a little away from everyone, kinda by the buffet…The lights had been dimmed, so it was officially night time…and Toby goes…

‘Are we having shots then…?’

And in this time…What Happened! It turned from beautiful time, on the most beautiful grounds, at the most beautiful wedding…to a party episode of Geordie Shore….(Even though no one was or is a Geordie???/ I’m so good at this! I need the sack.) 

We SHOT everything. Chick shots. Dude shots. Shots, from each other shots. Shots, OFF EACH OTHER shots…The Guys were shooting Tequila in the end and sucking the lemons out of each other mouths.

EWWW! 

( I say ‘sucking,’ which makes it sound more aggressive, than it was…When I actually watched my intsa story back, it looked someone loving. Andy cradled Toby’s head, like he was Mother Mary.)

Then out of nowhere, in the name of a DARE. Army Ben, at Toby’s suggestion…does a Tequila shot, but he doesn’t lick the salt, he SNIFFS THE SALT UP HIS NOSE, SHOOTS THE SHOT AND THEN SQUEEZES THE GODDAMN LEMON IN HIS GODDAMN EYE!!! 

OUCH!!!!!!!!

It was brilliant. I was so entertained. It made my life complete.

Toby: ‘I was giving them a £100, but I think I might pull out a tenner for shots and give them £90 instead. Hahaa.’

Then just like magic, we all went onto chill mode and I sat outside chatting to Vicki’s lovely Irish Mummy. She looked like the most glamourous Irish Mummy in the world. I loved her. She was funny, polite, yet I could see a ‘sassy’ in her eyes. I loved her!

Then like ya do…I think I went on a massive ‘Preach’ mode and forced everyone to listen to me tell them how much I loved Vicki.

A really drunk Yorkshire lady sat down and started banter…I loved her, because she was so ‘tell it how it is.’ 

Toby: ‘Where has she been all night! She’s great!!’

And then towards the end of the night, I finally got to spend some time with the Bride…

We just heard ‘CAKE,’ held hands and found it…

Vicki: ‘Lemon or Fruit cake’

Then we laughed. He danced. We talked over the day, with smiles. She was the most BEAUTIFUL BRIDE, in all the land and i’m not even kidding. Vicki’s ‘40 something‘ and she LOOKED 20 SOMETHING STUNNING.

Then i might have had to fight off a few lovely gents… 😉 I’ll say no more. Hahah.

And the funniest thing…as more time passed, more drinks were had…and more celebrations were turned into memories to share the day that Guy & Vicki committed to being ‘life partners…’

When I eventually walked out of the main doors at Rogerthorpe Manor, the LAST SENTENCE, that I said, (well this was after a ‘Thank you’ and ‘Cya’…)

The LAST SENTENCE that flew out of my mouth, was…

‘No…I’m not going to sit on your willy….’

Hahaha…

Such a great time. I send both Guy & Vicki all my love. I made some really great new friends…and I’m so lucky and honoured to have been there.

Definitely lost my bank card. (When that happens, you know shit got messy.)  Toby & Laura and now in Jamaica…And today….We Start the World Cup! Lol.

Thank you following my life…

Chrissie x

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Banter, Love, Fights & Sexiness

Why don’t people talk anymore? Why are we stuck in a time warp, where people are unable to communicate effectively without fear? Maybe it’s because we’re all so ‘social media’ these days, that we haven’t even realized we’re cutting ourselves away from real life interactions? I love a bit of ‘social’ and I hate it when people are so behind and don’t use it. Yet, I’ve godda admit, part of me is super traditional, and it’s important to still touch, feel, see and smell people.

I’ve made that sound creepy, by accident. Yipppee!

I’m a chatter. (In case you didn’t notice.) I’m a talker. (In case you couldn’t hear me boos.) I like to EXPRESS because I think it’s healthy (oooh, healthy, healthy chop chops) and i’m not AFRAID of anything …except sausage dogs. (They’re creepy as ****) I’m a problem solver, not a deliberate creator of ‘hiccups.‘ 😉

Hurrah!

Yet, what i’m noticing more and more, is that less and LESS people, of THIS generation, areface to face’ chatting, or even making a simple phone call to talk things through. People are really quick to throw each other away these days, without giving something, or someone….(that was once a treasure, a great find,) a real shot. I don’t like it. Everything that’s worth something, takes a little work…and with a little love, a delicious bit of nurture….you could really create something beautiful.

(Do know when I’m talking about the ‘throwing away‘ bit, instead of nurturing. Nurturing only counts if the position you’re in, is worth it. Otherwise, your ideal bet, is to REFRAIN from making the best out of a BAD BARGAIN. )

Right, I’m gonna quit being Mother Teresa right now and get with it.

Let’s SHIMMIE YO…

I’m in a mood today, because i’m tired. I woke up at 3am and I couldn’t get back to sleep. My mind was just ticking away… ticking away. I don’t know what’s wrong with me? But I can’t wait for a nap.

Love Island needs to spice itself up right now. Nothing’s happening? I only watch it to perv on Adam. And everyone on Twitter is having a go at him for snogging ‘New Girl Rosie,’ (oh the drama) when he’s with Kendal? 🙂 (Dying)

Darlings, it’s a GAME, on the TELLY. It’s not REAL. He’s not really with Kendal. They’ve known each other 3 days. He can smooch whoever he wants. I say ‘GO FOR IT.‘ In fact, it’s weird because ALL the girls in there are not being really affectionate, or handling things with a sexy disposition. Maybe because they’re 20 something??? Apparently they don’t ‘spoon’ on the first bed share. Lol. Errrugh. How dull. Moving on. Stop being ‘Vanilla.’

*Rolls Eyes.*

What else? I had another audition yesterday. A last minute one. So hopefully that went okay and i’m at a wedding tomorrow. I don’t usually like going to weddings, (I’m always a Bride and never a guest. Hahah.) Not this time though! Thank Goodness! Yet i’m looking forward to it. I’m in the mood to watch love being celebrated. I reckon, I can handle it before weeping into my gin, right?

‘Hey! Have a sip of mine It comes with TEARS!’

Plus, weddings are great because everyone drinks far too much and flirts with everyone It causes chaos. I love chaos.. in frocks.

What now?

‘The Swirl’ who i’m going to actually rename. What can I call him? Since we’re no longer ‘swirling?’ I’m gonna call him ‘T.Bone.’ No? Yeah. That’ll do for now. Anyway, he sent me a message yesterday…a boring one, not a fun one…in regards to listening to some business call. I ignored the message at first, because I kinda didn’t find it interesting. Lol. Then hours later, I felt bad, so I did what the message said and tuned it.

When I say ‘tuned in,‘ I logged into the call, put it on loud speaker, placed my phone to one side, because that was even duller than the initial message and just watched Love Island instead. Hahaha.

But at least I tried. I just didn’t find it very motivating. It was boring.

People are motivated in different ways…lectures are not mine. I’m really ambitious, yet i’m alive and motivated when i feel passion and that comes via love, money, entertainment, or creativity. You can’t BORE me to death and expect me to be excited.

Away from that, you know i was telling you all to go stalk my mate ‘Trigg’s’ instagram (@SimonTTrigg) because he’s easy on the eyes and a treat for the grown up gal. He’s 42, handsome, ex pro footballer and now works in property investment. I *tagged* him in my Insta post yesterday, and I always do tag my friends in, when I’ve mentioned them openly…and if they don’t have a ‘secret nickname.’ Like ‘T Bone.’

Anyway, he sent me a message straight away, after reading the blog, saying…

‘I fancy you so so much. But I’m no comparison to Adam! Lol’

(As in ‘Love Island Adam.’ Haha. )

It made me smile because I like a bit expression. Especially when it’s lovey or sexy. (Yet respectful.) It’s like giving someone a ‘green light‘ to manoeuvre…. if they so wish.

It’s hot.

Older guys do that well. Much better than the young, don’t they? I think it’s mainly because they’re not as terrified. They’re braver. They’ve lived a little more and can’t be arsed to be messed about. I’m like that. I hate to be messed about.

I much prefer a guy who is brave, bold and direct. Y’know, one who is able to express how he feels fearlessly and waits to see what will happen as a result…

It’s sexy.

And if a guy’s not direct, i’ll just think that he’s not interested in me and instead found someone else that he much rather be with. But that’s why I always say, I much rather chat something out, as I hate playing the ‘guessing game.’ To me friendship and love is about making people feel happy or comfortable and not about keeping them on edge.

[Sorry I got really distracted and started watching ‘old school’ Jersey Shore episodes on my phone. It was one of my favourite shows ever. Every bit of me loves it. Americans do reality tv, so much more panache because they do the job they’re hired to do and they don’t waste time worrying about what people will think. And you would for $100,000 per episodes. I know! Good dollar!]

Where was I?

Whatever, I’ll just leave you with what my fave Jersey Shore clip..It actually kinda calms my soul…Which is weird on all levels. It gets good. Hit Play!

Thank you for following my life!

Chrissie, x

 

 

Let’s Get a Bit Inspirational….& Pervy :)

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I’ve just got out of an audition, so I’m all pumped and juiced. I love auditioning. I find it really fun. When I was a kid in LA, I used to be terrified, when it came to ‘audition’ day. Yet, after only a few weeks, my friends and I found that we were on around 4 auditions a day, all over LA, for all different shows. I remember, I had The OC, ER, Charmed & A Glamour Magazine, in one day. My other friend had Will & Grace, What I like about you, The OC & CSI. And we’d be dashing through Hollywood, with our ‘sides’ (that’s what you call your audition script) making sure we were prepared and not late. I didn’t really have time to be nervous anymore. Nerves were a waste of time. I had one shot. One read. That read could end up booking me that job. It could change your life. And it did.

I’m back in the UK though now. Have been for years and I’m loving it. The last audition I went on. I booked it. That will air shortly. I did one this morning and loved it, so we’ll see how that goes.

You’ve godda give it you’re all. And I never care what anyone thinks. I’ll go for it.

I mean what’s the point in moaning about getting work, staying in work or whatever else it is you can muster, if you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.

Anything can happen at anytime. More people need to believe that.

If you don’t think so ,you’ve lost FAITH IN YOURSELF. and you shouldn’t because you’re beautiful. No one can do YOUR VERSION of life better than you. I say it all the time. Don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else is up too. Concentrate on your life, your game, your passion, your strut and go back and get everything that they said you couldn’t have!

I was so excited to perv on Love Island, Adam last night, that my excitement got the better of me, I ran out of excited energy and fell asleep after an exciting garden wine. I’m so shit at being a perv. I mean , If I can’t even do that, then Lord Help my rotten soul. Being a perv is such a brilliant ‘old school’ past time. It’s easy.

Couldn’t do it for toffee though could I!

I’m actually loving Dr.Alex now on Love Island, because I’m feeling really bad for him. I hate that people keep treating hi shitty. But i’m sure the magical world of TV has something up their delicious, no scripted lol, sleeve.

WHOOOPPPPEE!

Whatelse? Oh yeah, some maungy girl, sent me an evil message today and insulted my boobies. Don’t bother. Be smarter. Pick anything but the boobies, because they’re obviously such a ‘Chrissie Wunna‘ strength. A weapon. They’re lethal, with googly eyes on. They drink shots and hypnotize folk. Do your boobs do that? No. Exactly.

So, be smart enough to say I have shit feet or something. It would’ve made me cry, into my prosecco, for a good half a second.

YAWN!

I’m at a wedding on Saturday, so I’m really excited for that. Definitely don’t have a dress. Definitely going to end up leaving it to the last minute. But I fancy wearing lemon. Not A LEMON…as that would just be awkward.

‘Chrissie, why have you come as a piece of fucking fruit?’

In Summer, lemon is my favourite colour. I also like boys who can totally rock pink. But do it so well, that it makes all the girls dribble.

I hope my audition went well? I need something to eat now.

My friend ‘Trigg‘ sent me a message yesterday, apologizing for working so much etc etc…People don’t need to say sorry for doing life or their choices. But when you’re a grown up and working so much, you’re loaded with stress by the buckets on occasion and it’s hard to make time for people isn’t it?

I totally get that. I have the same problem. And our lives are manic. We’ll get around to a catch up.

Yet for those of you, who maybe don’t run busy lives or careers, DO KNOW to ALWAYS remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

We as girls, and guys (at times,)we always make excuses for people, don’t we? But only when it comes to love. You’re love life is such a big thing isn’t it? It’s important. It motivates you. It makes you feel alive. But like i said in my last blog, I’m happy being single, yet i’m open to finding love. I’m just NOT BOTHERED about ‘coupling up’ with someone, who isn’t my going to be hero, my best friend or potential life partner/buddy/chum chum…whatever else you can bung in there.

I’m not arsed about the game of love. I want a man who’s not scared to chase love, show love, be loved. I like a man who knows how to get what he wants. It’s sexy. I want all boxes ‘ticked.’ And we all deserve that.

I mean, when you’re older. You know what you want. When you’re younger. You make excuses for all sorts and don’t really know as much as you think you do.

Well that was ME, anyway. It might not be you? But probably.

Right i’m off. I need to find a dress….

 

Kittens, Love Island & A Sexy Bit Of Adam Collard!

 

Morning! Morning! Happy Tuesday! God! Last night, at around 10pm, Ruby came into my room. She couldn’t sleep because she was too hot. I opened the window and she heard tiny ‘meowing.’ Then she screamed..

‘IT’S ROCCO..’

Remember we lost our kitten, on that really shocking Friday I had. It was filled with utter disaster..and I thought it would never end. Lol.

We both rush downstairs…Yet i have nothing on expect a yellow bra and knickers…Ruby is just in pants. We haven’t even thought to grab clothes or shoes, during our dash, because we wanted ‘Rocco’ so madly. Clothes didn’t feel like a priority.

At 10.10pm, last night, we ran outside, in the dark, half naked, in no shoes and finally got our kitten Rocco. back home, where he belongs. I wouldn’t have even cared if anyone saw me. My heart was just filled with a happy relief. Be it Kittens, friends or men…They always come back to Wunna Land. 😉

It was the most amazing experience. It filled us with utter joy. Rocco, is back in Wunna Land, and he is as happy as can be! He’s back to living it up!

Hurrah! Naked kitten saving all the way. It’s like being James Bond, but Asian, barefooted and in the nude. 

Away from that, i’ve been resting and working. I have some really great auditions coming up and some really great news. OK Magazine said that I’m tipped for the new series of ‘Celebs Go Dating’ because I said, I loved the show and was back on your  Reality TV Screens shortly.. They also stated that I was ‘coy’ about whether I would be finding love on the reality show. I enjoy being called ‘coy’ simply because i’ve been called a lot WORSE.

But I’m not gonna life. I do fancy a bit of ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ Yet, that isn’t the show that I’m on.

I’ve managed to meet up with KatyP for drinks. She’s lost her bank card and needs booze running through her system. I don’t know what we were talking about the other day, but something to do with how I hate horror movies and sausage dogs. (I never watch horror movies. I can’t stand feeling creeped out.) Weirdly, Julie & Golfer Jonny said that they watched some horror movie called ‘Carrie?’ Something like that anyway?

I was only half listening because Katy P and I were evil cackling about something far more entertaining…(like sex for money, who we’d like to have sex with once… and hobbit feet) but all that happened in the movie was some teenage girl called ‘Carrie’ goes in the shower, get’s her period, people start chucking tampons at her and shouting ‘plug it in?’ Eh? Then she kills everyone….

That’s not a horror movie. That’s just normal real life for a teen. She was just hormonal. Give the girl a break.

I’ve got a couple shoots to be doing and i’m so excited about the new bars and hotels that I am soon to be influencing. I’m also back in Sheffield towards to the end of the month, to revisit Kuckoo. (One of my favourite spots.) I’m actually doing, London, Leeds, Sheffield, York, Manchester, Nottingham, Spain & Newcastle. (Yet this time ‘on purpose’ and not because i just got off at the wrong stop.)

I’m feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

A couple days ago, I was so lost. But just like that, I’m *popped* right back into action and it’s because I love what I do. I love working. I can’t be left to ‘rest’ unless my rest time is filled with love. I want to make something a bit special of myself…and there’s no shame in that. I know what i’m doing. 😉 (Yeah Baby!)

So watch me nooow!

Oh! I’ve been invited to ‘Da Marino’ in New York, to dine. I can’t remember if I told you that or not? But I have now.  It’s owned by the lovely Chris Noth, who plays ‘Big’ in ‘Sex and the City.’ They figured it was a good match, since a magazine did the ‘UK’s Carrie Bradshaw’ thing. (I know! What is my life!) And yes, again, i’m about to be back on your tv screens. I actually read an email this morning, confirming everything…and i’ve had to wait a really LOOOOOOOOONG time, for it to even almost air.

However, I’m a patient person. I’ve learnt lots in my time and you get what you’re meant to get, when you’re meant to get it. You don’t get what’s not for you. Everything happens at the right time. So I don’t rush anything, when it comes to work. When it comes to love, I’m open, but guarded. I wear my heart on my sleeve, yet these days control how I feel. But yes, be patient, in both love and work.

I mean in love, you can meet someone who’s perfect and if it’s not the right time, you won’t ‘magnet fix.

Yet, you shouldn’t be upset by that, simply because it’s not a bad thing.  Later down the road, be it weeks, months or years….the timing of it all could be much better…Life just needed you to meet earlier than ready…and they’ll always be a reason for that. That reason, you’ll find out.

I completely believe in that. You don’t meet anyone meaningful by accident.

Away from that, OH MY LORD, how HOT is flipping ADAM COLLARD! Jeepers! Peepers! That’s 109 Hail Mary’s from me. I’ll do time in Hell for him. I’m like GOSH! He’s the most attractive man my eyes have ever witnessed on the telly box, in AGES. If there’s a team. I’m on HIS!

HAHAHA! (Why am I such a perv?)

I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to wake up to a bit of Adam every morning! How is he that delicious!?! He’s like a chiseled piece of pie, that I just need to devour.

Even before Love Island aired last night, he was already my favourite. I tweeted it out because i’m waay ahead of my own loin game. Lol. But when he walked onto my TV Screen, he was UNREAL. Hotter than his Promo pictures! And that was it! I was sprung. I’m now hooked. Great casting! I’ll be addicted to Love Island for the rest of the Summer..

From the moment he sauntered into that Villa…That was it! I’m in absolute lust. (Which I always mistake for love. 😉 )

He’s 22 and looks like a grown ass man! What a GIFT!

Thank you Jesus!

But yes, I didn’t want to say it, but i’m delighted with Love Island. I’m already loving it, every little inch of it. I’m skipping the dull bits, I’m loving a bit of Dani Dyer & Jack. I actually like the Doctor. I come from a family of doctors, so I always have a soft spot for one. (Apart the Spanish one that I once dated who tried to *hump* me.) The funny thing is, that as soon as the girls find out he’s a Doctor, all of ‘magical’ sudden, he’ll seem more attractive. *Rolls Eyes.* 

I’m enjoying all the banter. But I’m LIVING for the half naked Adam Collard. Aren’t we all! Shower me in love potion much.

Happy ‘Collard’ Tuesday!

Chrissie x

 

When I did Kuckoo, Sheffield…

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As soon as I walked into Kuckoo, Sheffield, I felt sexy. It feels sexy. The entire place is ‘red lit’ and oozes a devilishly inviting warmth. I guess, I’d describe it as mischievously glamourous. Plus, every human in Sheffield, mid totter had stopped me and told me that ‘the cocktails there are really great.’

Luckily,  and because I am Wunna Land.. 😉 I had a freshly shaken, BEAUTIFUL cocktail waiting for me, it looked so fresh it glistened, yet of substance tasted divine. (Do note/ I hate shit tasting cocktails, because it’s almost like meeting a really  REALLY pretty girl, but she has a personality of a fallen asleep donkey.)

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This cocktail (and your first one has to be a strong one,) was DELIGHTFUL and well let’s face it pretty much saved a kitten’s life. I did notice that ‘AG‘ (who’s just a good friend of mine, before you all get excited) had had it prepared, but had already downed two cocktails previous…Haha. To me, that means he was scared to see me, or simply stressed the fuck out.

He went with ‘stressed’…I went with ‘scared’…and after greetings, banter and a quick ‘AG’ catch up, (he’s in uni for engineering) the cosy red lighting and absolute *buzz* that swirled around the bar, must have got the better of me…better of us.

We then proceeded to drink almost every cocktail on the menu. I did this before at Relish in Doncaster and ended up trashed.

And you know you’re an idiot, alcoholic or just plain old fun, when you literally make up ridiculous excuses as why we should have another…

AG: ‘Shall I tell them you want the Eastern Promise, just cos it’s Oriental like you…. They’ll bring it over…?’

[See what I mean…]

Me: ‘Yeah, just whatever. I love that I’m now drinking drinks to match my flipping ethnicity!  Then I want a beer tasting one after because i’m dehydrated and want a BIG drink.’

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I know…no sense. But at the time, 3 cocktails in, whilst wiggling about in my orange dress, immersed in red lighting…it ALL made really great sense.

So shush.

Then I don’t know what happened…Shit just got wild. The music got louder, the bar started slowly filling up with groups of excited Sheffield boys, the bartender called me cute…

Bartender: ‘You look great. Who have you come with?’

Me: ‘A friend…that one over there..’

Bartender: ‘Well, you’ve come to the right place.’ *Wink.*

[That’s a sexy little old thing to say, innit! It was like a glammy Coyote Ugly, but with guys.]

..and within what felt like moments….the place LIT WITH EXCITEMENT and the crowd went BONKERS! 

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Y’know, the good thing about Sheffield is that everyone out there is really down to earth, aren’t they? So they’ll all go out, not care and have a great time….with anyone. It’s not a ‘drama‘ city. It’s fun. They’re laid back.

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It went NUTS. I had a better time that Sunday night, than anyone on EARTH!

Cocktails were dashing, the bartenders were stood on the bar, with live fire and singing at the top of their voices, like nothing else in the entire world mattered at that point. The crowd where mad, but radiated a madness that could only be labelled as..

 ‘HAPPINESS.’ (Hard thing to find right?’)

I noticed that, when I scanned the room….there were so many people, from all walks of life, just LIVING…They were singing and dancing and beaming with strangers. They had no care in the world…I loved it. It was the best night EVER.

And well I…so happened to bring in a crowd. 😉 Boys in Sheffield, love boobs!!!

Now, we all know that I adore, a good time so after dancing about in my booth, I decided to go through the crowds and meet everyone. I do it all the time and apparently I shouldn’t?

AG was dancing in the middle of the floor by now, about 12 cocktails in, half on his knees, like the merriest dude in the city, so I figured he was fine…Lol. He loved being on my Insta story and I can’t at all remember what conversations we had, because we both surrendered to good times. I know his birthday is bonfire night, he comes from a family of policemen, loves being up north, because he’s from Croydon and he’s stressed with Uni.

AG: ‘D’ya know what album cover that is?’

Me: ‘Do I look as though I know?’

It felt like adventure. And I’m so glad I tinkered out into the crowd, because I literally met everyone! Yet, I don’t know if I was blind, or what, because like I said earlier…. I was surrounded by dudes? It was GUYS, GUYS… EVERYWHERE, GUYS?? I felt like I was on the BEST STAG DO IN THE WORLD and I love a Stag Do.

(I’ve always said, if I ever get married again…I would only ever have a stag do. So much more fun than a Hen do. I mean, who wants to drink out of penis straws, moan about boys and plait hair.)

AG: ‘No..It’s just crowds of guys around YOU everywhere. There ARE girls here. Lol What did that bartender say to you?’

It was magic and the entire bar partied the night away MADLY, almost like the were ‘besties’ lol…and in a swirl of sexy red lighting. It was pretty much Heaven…Well if Heaven was as fun as Hell. I could go there EVERY NIGHT. I wanted to do it again at 9am the next morning! People were so happy there that night, that it was almost like an addiction.

[Life note: People are addicted to happy people and places.]

I drank my body weight in cocktail. I lost my voice. I might not have been able to see at one point. I filmed everything. I danced until my heels hurt. The staff in that place couldn’t have been more gracious. They were wild and fun, yet I  looked after me, like I was a Queen.

The atmosphere was dripping with a delicious, wild escapism. Everyone around me, was ALIVE. They were BEAMING. It was such a fun night!

I can’t even describe how great my night was.

AG walked me back to my hotel, just so I didn’t get accosted by strangers. I like a gentleman. All my guy friends are gentleman. Usually when guys offer to ‘walk you back’ they always try to get their ‘end away, don’t they? It’s like they want a treat for ‘being a gentleman.’ Haha.  No such luck. You’ll know if I want to sleep with you, because i’ll just tell you. But i’ll only green light it once…then leave the chase to the gent….

Then as the automatic lobby doors, close up on him… with a..

‘Thank you….Byeee…..’

I was immediately immersed back at The Novotel, which was filled with absolute peace. All sound shut down, other than the sound of the calmness of the pool.

All by myself, I walked back up to my suite, took off all my clothes and just tumbled into bed with one big ‘yeehaa’ roll.

So sophistcated.

Life was great! I woke up the next morning, naked at The Novotel in Sheffield…a phone interview in an hour and literally no voice to even speak.

I smashed my interview, was ready to go to my next spot,  then got caught by ‘Stalker Bruce,’ who (if you don’t know)  is a professional ‘celebrity stalker.’ He finds where you are, catches you and makes you do a million endorsement messages, for his clients. Lol. He’s caught Russell Brand, Robbie Savage..Loads of people…He & his wife ‘Sally’ found me, ..so Fuck it, my next stop was Ego, Sheffield and well they came along also.

It actually made me feel so happy, to have made two people ‘beam.’ They seemed really grateful that I was even sat there with them and I find that odd, because we’re all just human. Yet at the same time, my heart filled with love for them, as they couldn’t lovelier peoples.

More cocktails, more drinking, more banter. I was actually hungover, but loving life. They walked me back to the train station, because by then, we’d all had enough. I was like..

‘Get me out of the city!’

That’s when I got on my train at Sheffield, fell asleep, missed my stop and ended up in fucking Newcastle.

I had work the next morning in Leeds…so I had to get my sorry arse back home…and arrived safely, in 42 pieces lol…at around 1.27am.

 

 

When Wunna Did Sheffield! [Part One ;) ]

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So, I’ve just got back from Sheffield. If you’ve been following my ‘socials’ (mainly my Instagram Story @chrissiewunna) you will absolutely be aware of that. I ended up getting home at 1.17am Monday morning, simply because I was so utterly knackered and fell asleep on my train, after filling my entire body with cocktails and eating a giant Whopper burger. I totally missed my stop…and ended up in flipping NEWCASTLE at around 10pm..by ACCIDENT. Zara, who works at The Creator Salon, in Sheffield, well she offered to throw me a ‘life line’ of ‘need any help babe?’ At that point I suggested that she simply hire someone to find me and throw me onto train tracks or summat?’

I was DONE! I was HAD. Life got the better of my sorry cocktailed ass.

But..

My time in Sheffield was a delight. It was AMAZING and a lot more amazing than I thought it was gonna be, if i’m being honest. I’m Yorkshire anyway, so when you tinker off to work in in the same land, but on different turf, it’s kinda more like a ‘staycation than anything. It’s made me ADORE a ‘staycation’ and now I truly believe that people should do it MORE often. I honestly, had THE TIME OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. 

If I could describe my time in the city…I’d say….

It was a fun filled swirl of complete & utter decadent MADNESS!

I checked into The Novotel, in Sheffield city centre on Sunday & immediately the staff couldn’t be more helpful. They’re young. They’re cool. But they’re warm. The service was literally impeccable.(Esther…You are delightful and hilarious. Sorry, i almost got you done. 🙂 I have that effect on people.) 

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And fair enough they’re aware that i’m going to blog about my stay…I’m not an idiot. However, I watch and scan everything…and not only is that place peaceful, calm and designed so beautifully. It boasts a modern edge of glamour, with a meandering contemporary ‘ooh,’ the service all around, was first rate…I love that the hotel felt so relaxing, because nothing to me is worse than a bustle ridden ‘staycation.‘ I have a busy life. I yearn for peace.

The bar was swanky, the bartender was ‘winks,’ the indoor heated pool was private and my suite was perfectly ‘city‘ and divine. In general I love a masculine or moody looking suite. I don’t know why that is? I like it to look like a New York Business man’s stop off? It’s my favourite feeling when I’m hotelling it?  I much prefer it to light & fluffy…and maybe because it either makes me feel POWERFUL, or just balances ‘comfort’ with ‘work,’ so I stay focused. (Everyone always thinks i’m just tossing it off and socializing. It’s actually work. Don’t be getting it twisted.) 

I will say that The Novotel, they remembered the small things. I’m a ‘it’s the small things that matter’ kinda girl. (Well, apart from in certain departments. 😉 I like gents to be accompanied by the correct  sized trouser ‘bulge.’ I find it such a turn on. I cant even help it? It literally drives me wild…& i’m certainly not apologizing for it. Lol) But, yes…the ‘small things.’ I was Instagram story posting, the bartender spotted my Insta Story within seconds…He noticed that I asked you, to remind me to snack…and in a jiffy brought me over a tiny pot of nuts… with a grin. 😉

I was really impressed. And I love to feel impressed. This goes for work, service ANYWHERE and when it comes to guys.

I got to my room, after two wines and as soon as I checked in, to get showered & ready, I received a little *tipper tapper* at my door. I kitty dash to over, and I’m wrapped in a towel, after 20 minutes of showering, selfie taking, story loading and spying into other people’s windows, in the nude. (I only found Tupac. He wasn’t arsed about me.) I peek through the peeky hole and with a warm and chipper ‘door swing,‘ I was gifted with the most delicately beautiful dessert, with a handwritten note reading:

‘Dear Ms Wunna,

Wishing you a warm welcome to Sheffield. Hope you have a lovely stay with us and enjoy you time in the city.

Kind Regards, Beatrice.’

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I love a handwritten note…It makes me feel all special. It’s old school and delicious. It was certainly a perfect ‘work’ break. What I love about that place, is that they’re VERY MUCH aware that i’m going to be cheeky, with a sophisticated dash of charm and selfie with a ‘wink,’ which often includes zero clothes and maybe sexually suggested picture taking, with the addition of moderate swearing and nude spying. And that is absolutely fine with them. No probs. No issues!

They’re all ‘Let the Kitten do her work. ‘ Hahah

I adore companies, that refrain from judging influencers, simply because they’re a bit naughty or a wee bit ‘sexy’ and instead are smart enough to use that ‘power‘ to their advantage, in order to build attention, or invite in, a new audience.

Over the last 2 days, my story views were the highest of ALL TIME.

Over the last 2 days, I finally grew to love a Sheffield. And I say that because it was a city that I’d kinda forgotten about, really? I mean, if you’re from Sheffield, don’t forget to seek through it, enjoy it, find new bits and love it. There’s so much you can do and often, like long term relationships….when you see something or have something all the time, you kinda forget how special it is, or can be.

I had a blast…and my adventure there hand’t even really begun yet…

A couple interviews, whatsapp chats with my Leeds crew and a quick meeting later… I was dressed, and ready to go meet a friend at Kuckoo, Sheffield.

Now, I’m not someone who’s EVER going to stay in, when in a new city, a new hotel…with new excitement. I LOVE GOOD TIMES, I find my own fun and every inch of me intended to take that piece of ‘city’ and make it MINE for the night.

What could possibly go wrong! 😉

I strutted through street crowds, the bustle and a whole bunch of people dancing and drinking at street stands. They were all dressed really casual. But I was tinkering through, in my heels and orange dress. There was a vibe in the air. A sexy ‘testosterony’ energy. A ‘magic.‘ The city was actually packed. It was filled to the brim with ‘bank holiday’ life…Everyone was out! There was BUZZ around certain corners….An excitement…a ‘flutter.’ But I did notice that night, that the streets, bars of Sheffield were completely FILLED WITH GUYS!

Where were the girls at?

I tottered through the city streets. I think I was on Leopold Square or something? I have no sense of direction and I don’t care because I usually always find my way somewhere, right? Lol.

Me: ‘Where the fuck am I?’ I’m by the Leopold Hotel or something?’

AG: ‘Just keep walking… I can come find you. Wait..’

Me: ‘I don’t need you to find me. Just tell me where to go…’

AG was already there waiting for me. I’m usually never late, but whatever, I got lost mid totter…and had to walk through the maddest Latin street party ever. Lol

I finally got to a large door, with a small stair way and I could see a warm ‘red lit’ ooze of sexy, cocktail dripped lushness, radiating…

Me: ‘I’m here, I’m walking in now…’

On Sunday, at around 8pm….I strutted into Kuckoo….

 

 

 

Lisa’s Blackpool Birthday!! Part 1..

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So, i’ve just got back from the *Maddest* time in Blackpool. It’s been nuts. I was there to celebrate Lisa (as in ‘Appleton’s) big old birthday. Lisa’s been a really dear friend of mine, for a long long time now…and having spent the last 3 years being in the press every single day and being judged for her delicious stunts of ‘ooh laa.‘ I can tell you, that you’ll never meet anyone more loving, more warm or less judgmental.

She’s literally one of my best friends. I adore her madly and I’m so glad that I got to be there on her birthday, as my schedule can get pretty tight. I’ve not been a great friend to any of my friends this year, due to work.

But let’s get on with it, yeah…

STRAP IN! (Not on. 😉 )

I checked into The New Osborne Hotel, in Blackpool. It was arranged for me by the darling that is Liam Halewood and well I always stay there, simply because, I love the suites, I love the staff, the service is impeccable and it’s pretty much in the middle of everything. I’m a service girl. And I adore Matt who owns The New Osborne…I mean he even picked me up from the station.

So, as soon as I got in, I didn’t even go to my room or even see Lisa, because she was getting her hair & face *did* at a nearby salon, he *cracked* open a bottle of prosecco and we sat and drank in the restaurant/bar with great banter, inappropriate laughter and literally for a good couple of hours.

MATT’S ACE!

(I knew Lisa would take FOREVER doing her face. I always think that MUA’s always take forever, don’t they? Lol. Yet, when it comes to ‘getting ready’, it literally only takes me about 10 mins. So i just chilled with Matt and Lisa’s friend ‘Sharon’ over gin and prosseci’s!) 

[Phone Call]

Aaron The Pap: ‘Chrissie, I’m papping at this salon. She wants you to go get her mate Sharon out the room and get her to drink with you…lol’

Anyway, long story short, it’s almost time to get ready. Liam’s all in a panic over the  buffet. He wants everything to be perfect, so all the organizing obviously stresses him out. But, to me, he’s a dream. How thoughtful of him, to put it all together.

Liam: ‘Where is EVERYONE! I’M FUMING! You’re all meant to BE HERE by 7.30pm.’

Me: ‘She’s still getting her face done. I’m not even ready yet. She’ll be another hour. I’ve just spoke to Aaron. We’re not even gonna be there until 9pm.’

I’m chilled by nature…but I understand the stress, because even though it was her birthday, it was still actually work and we certainly had a schedule to stick to. That’s why I don’t like to organize, things. I only like to SHOW UP and drink, without responsibility.

An hour passes, Lisa & Aaron are on their way back to the hotel. Ryan (Ryan Mira) who is my agent, at The Celebrity Management Company is ‘training’ it in from London, because he’d just been doing the ‘Good Morning Britain‘ & ‘Loose Women‘ rounds with Daniella ‘The Westie’ Westbrook. He had to get himself to Blackpool for Lisa’s birthday event. BUT he had to bring giant loads of luggage with him, because the next morning, he had to fly out to Thailand…

STRESSY RIGHT!

Matt shows me to my room… Suite 3. Lisa was in 1. (I think Sharon & I were already a bit pissed by this time 🙂 I loved Sharon, because she’s sassy and direct, but warm, once you get to know her. Plus, she likes the finer things in life, so obviously I adore her.) 

I loved my room, because it was actually a lot huger than I thought it would be. The bathroom was all glittered, modern and utterly ‘darling.’ So in my suite, I had TWO separate bedrooms, but if you walked through the suite, the additional room had two beds in there. Bunk beds…because it was a family suite… There was just me in it though.

All got ready really quickly. Ryan (my agent) showed up in the nick of time, with all of his luggage, that he had to leave in my room. he gets ready. We’ve sozzled all the drinks, in all of the land by this point, as Lisa & I are…

DRINKERS!

Then in a *blink* we all arrive at Peeka Booze, In Blackpool, where we’re greeted by the lovely Liam, who is now all a smiles and probably because he had a drink in his hand.

The place is filled with people, all happy, all fun. Drinks are a flowing, there’s a private VIP area, filled with the yummiest food,  for us all.  Karaoke is going wild. There’s cake. There’s chicken. Lol. There’s loud, loud, madness, that all resonated as..

ONE BIG OLD GOOD TIME.

Now, Aaron (who if you don’t know… is a Pap. A really successful pap & he’s only young. Only 18.) He’s become a really good friend of mine and he shoots me, Lisa, and pretty much everyone…a lot. He was picturing the whole birthday shindig, to sell off to the papers.

Anyway, like I said, drinks were a FLOWING And there was a point where I saw Aaron, put down his camera and with a ‘F*** it* and in the name of fun, joined us, did drinks with us and just celebrated a good old time, in the name of Lisa!

I mean, Lisa’s like I am. She’ll let everyone have fun with her. She’ll love you forever. The door is always open. I mean GOD, when we moved onto ‘Revs,’ she even let a homeless guy (who actually looked quite smart) come sit at the table and drink ginny cocktails with us.

WHICH I THINK IS LOVELY!!!

Manager at Revs: ‘Chrissie, is he bothering you?’

Me: ‘No, not at all.’

Manager at Revs: ‘Lisa… is he harrassing you..’

Lisa, ‘NO!! We’re quite have him sit here with us, thanks. *Points at smart homeless guy* Here drink these cocktails.’

In that moment, he felt really dignified and that’s what I love about Lisa! We’re the same. I don’t care what kinda life you’re walking…I’ll never judge anyone…and neither would she. And we are BOTH SO JUDGED!! 

At the end of the day, we all FEEL things the same way. We all cry. We all laugh. And he was so kind and much older. He deserved dignity. He kinda looked like a homeless Richard Gere/Clint Eastwood.

The bar manager didn’t like him sitting with us though, because obviously he’s running a business and believes it deters others people from wanting to come.

We’d all moved to Rev’s (the next bar) by now, because everyone fancied cocktails.

I’d been hanging out with Ryan (my agent) all night, and between drinks, karaoke songs, pap shots and hugs, we even managed a sit down and a career chat, lol by cocktail sausages, cake, and chicken wings…

Ry: ‘What part of it are we gonna focus on? You choose what it is that you WANT to be, because there’s just so much that you are. I need a contact for ****names a show**** and I’m wanting to fly you off on holiday again, for pictures, in the Summer…You need to choose someone to go with you.’

Me: Where?

Ryan: ‘Anywhere you want. I’ll sort it. So with these pics that Aaron’s done, are we waiting on them…

Me: ‘Yeah, I want them held until the times right…’

Ry: ‘Cool.’

Ryan’s really busy right now and really savvy, but also a really great friend, because he’s such a good time. He’s so happy and so fun! I love that! He’s ace…and now in flipping Thailand!

JEEPERS!

Anyway, cocktails, laughter, birthday wishes…But if you know me personally, you will know that I’m an early leaver. Lol. My best chick friend ‘Firmonnell’ always says it’s my new ‘trademark.’ Lol

I’ll never stay out until the crack of dawn. Once i’m done, i’m done. I have a good time. I love a good time. I’ll live it. I’ll love it. But like ‘Cinders’ herself, by a certain time, i’ll flee..

Because i’m lame, like that…

Keeps me out of trouble. By this time, I wanted a chill. In fact, before I left my hotel room, I’d send ‘Tats’ a whatsapp message, telling him to ‘stay up.’ At midnight I got a…

Tats: ‘You doing?’

And he got a screechy and bustled voice note, that went a bit like this…

‘I’m just getting my last drink at the bar, then i’m off straight back to the hotel.’

The manager of Rev’s was now annoyed that we had the Richard Gere lookalike, homeless dude (lol) sitting with us, ‘Chrissy The MUA’ (yes, the makeup artist had my name, it confused me all night, but she was great), was now calling the manager a ‘stupid b****’...because the manager didn’t like the homeless guy…and well let’s just say, it was fueled by ‘Gin & Juice.’ Lol

They’re all wanting to GO OUT & Stay out and party the night away, in the name of birthdays’ Aaron’s sat with Lisa, they’re both on the cocktails. They’re literally having the bestest of best times…and at this point, seemed pretty soberish? Lol. Matt (who owns The New Osborne hotel) and his beautiful girlfriend Natalia, (who owns her OWN different hotel) had joined us for drinks also…

Ryan had already sloped off to find fun…

Ry: ‘Chrissie, leave me the key, because i’m ff to a club, and my luggage for Thailand is you room. And you always leave early, without telling anyone.’

I looked at Sassy Sharon because she looked like she wanted her comfies on too….and we got a taxi back to Matt’s hotel (he stayed out and gave us the full run of his hotel, whilst he was out,) and by midnight, I had flung until my suite, Room 3, stripped off fully naked and got into bed…

My Premier taxi didn’t turn into a pumpkin…I didn’t lose a glass slipper…and my dress I chose to fling on the floor…

Picked up my phone, had a chill, a quick flirty chat with ‘Tats,’ occurred..but everything was really dark, so i creeped myself out.

Then before you know it,around 1am and with my phone still on my chest, my kitten eyes closes and I drifted off to sleep…

4am

Lisa & Aaron The Pap...come BURSTING INTO MY ROOM….

 

 

 

Diet Shakers Filled With Cocktail & Everything Peeka Boobied

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Morning! Morning! Happy Royal Wedding Day! I’m not going to be watching it, simply because I’m having to escort Baby Ruby to Gravity, where she will trampoline to her hearts content, in the name of her friend’s birthday party. Whilst she does bouncing, Junior and I will be occupying ourselves around Xscape….Yes….He’ll probably *bounce*  upon things also and we’ll probably grab a Nandos.

A cheeky one.

Yet, I’ll be following the big old wedding day ‘socially‘…and having a couple of celebratory proseccos, because I DO love ‘The Royals’ and I do love being British…and well it gives me another excuse to drink. But honestly, what mum DOESN’T have a wine before a kids birthday party. Not any mum I know. 🙂

(Shush. I’m not arsed about being judged before 10am.) 

Okay, lots going on. I’m starting to ‘busy’ up now. I have shoots and more shoots, lining up. I have my episode of a TV show airing shortly.

I actually forgot to eat healthy for my shoots. Yippppeeee! So now, I do that panic fad diet thing, which is never fun. Lisa (as in ‘Appleton’) has a birthday party on Tuesday, so I’ll be scooting off to Blackpool to play with drag queens at ‘Peek A Booze,’ to celebrate her ‘happy happy.’ I think it’s on the 22nd?

I need my hair doing, I need to buy a dress and I’m bloody sick of my wonky bottom tooth now. I’m too vain for a tooth like that. So I’m sorting it out. I thought I could quit being vain and handle the toothage. But I can’t. So I’m vain. Yet it’s probably one of the best things about me. 🙂

You’ll always wake up to a glamour puss boys! Haha.

I’m glad you’re all loving my piccies. I’ve had an inbox full of deliciousness from all over the world and even a little love letter… I haven’t read it, yet, but I do love a love letter…so I will, this afternoon. And yeah, Ladies, my pics are a bit ‘peeka boobied’ right now. But it’s just me, innit? It’s not like I didn’t grow up being a glamour model my entire life…Lol…Plus, even though i’m an exhibitionist, an attention seeker 🙂 I’m quite body confident, even when i’m wibbly. So I think more women should throw skin to the wind and celebrate what mother nature gave them, without worrying about what other people think!

Let’em think. Watch me now!

I need to stop shouting ‘WATCH ME NOW‘ and doing all kinds of stupid shit that just gets me into trouble. Lol. I say it in real life to my friends…and then do something foolish, right after the sentence has been uttered.

Summer is killing me. It’s making me cheeky. It’s making me naughty..and it’s making me drink looooads. Maybe i’ll crash and calm down? Maybe i’m just playful? But I will say that I went to the loo this morning and a five pence (which was probably stuck to my leg somewhere and somehow…) FELL into the loo, mid squat. Yes! Literally money shot out of my ‘derriere.’

I’m like piggy bank. I can now shoot money out of my arse, which obviously makes me lucky. Lol.

You think i’m going to the loo, when really the loo is my (I was gonna say ‘ATM’ then,) but cos we’re being British today, I’ll go with CASH MACHINE.

But yes, about the naked pics, ladies…It doesn’t bother me, so it shouldn’t bother you. Plus, it doesn’t make a girl less ‘classy(I hate it when people say that.) Yet neither does it make a girl ‘more sexy.‘ No girl is the sexiest girl in the world,‘ because everyone celebrates their own version of the term. People are attracted to different things, looks, personalities. Everyone has something that is sexy about them…and it’s that something‘ that they should embrace.

Don’t put yourself up and compare yourself to other women or men ….You’re different people. What works for them doesn’t necessarily work for you and vice versa.

Be YOU. Don’t be scared to be YOU. It’s better than being a rubbish version of someone else.

Right, what else? I chatted to ‘The Swirl’ yesterday, who’s chilling away in Turkey. We get on pretty easily, so it was a catch up, messed in banter and roasting. I made fun of his shakes,

Me: ‘It’s a shaker FILLED with cocktail mate.’

(This is a diet shake that I was meant to be drinking/promoting)

He made fun of my divaisms.

Swirl: ‘Stop being such a diva! Ahahahahah.’

(After I asked if he even missed me JUST A LITTLE BIT!!?)

Me: ‘Little Asian Girls need love tooo.’

He definitely doesn’t miss me, lol..and i’m definitely NOT A DIVA. It’s literally like getting blood out of the stoniest stone. Hahah.

*Tap! Tap! Anyway emotion in there for me?*

But the good thing is, that we can have a laugh anyway. I guess, our friendship must be quite good. Better than I thought. He did say that my ‘body looked unreal….’ so he scored points for that.

However, later that day, I flew him through a message and link, because i’m quite savvy when it comes to business…But only if the business is creative, otherwise I find it dull. I also used to be a Talent Agent, in LA, and some people don’t know that about me. I LOVED BEING A TALENT AGENT. I loved taking something great.. with further potential and then turning into HUGENESS. It was always a buzz. It still is!!!! I love it.

Anyway, I can clearly see a path that he COULD TAKE, if he knew how. I know how…and I know everyone…so I began to show him…and for the first time ever he actually asked my advice. If I actually called him and talked him through it. He’d get it. he sounded excited, so hopefully, he’ll take that link and fly….

Right. I need coffee now and to moisturize, my feet are flip flopped out. I need wedges. (Not potato ones. 😉 )

ps/ Ruby is currently in her room playing Youtube videos of me on The Paris Hilton show, then MOCKING MY VOICE. Lol. All I can hear is ‘Hi, I’m Chrissie Wunna. Hi, I’m Paris Hilton.’ 

When You Think About ‘Swirls,’ Weddings & Life

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You’ve made it to Friday! Well done. I’ve just spent a quiet moment, stood by a giant roundabout, in the sun, just watching people do life. In a way, there was something that felt so FREE about it all. And I guess, that’s what life is about? Y’Know, only doing the things that make you happy, feeling both loved, yet free at the same time…and taking care of those hearts you have been made responsible for.

BOOYAH!

Yesterday was great. I worked all morning. Yeah, I was shattered, but I managed to fit in a quick drink with KatyP and Hairdresser Claire, before I *Blinked* and magically found myself immersed in the late afternoon, with my babies Ruby and Junior, who were filled to the brim with laughter, life and the giggles. They swung on swings, they told their tales and then we gate crashed KatyP & Golfer Jonny’s date (who I’m meant to be calling ‘JP’.)

Golfer Jonny: ‘Did I make the blog?’

Me: ‘Well yeah, I said you were a date, but I didn’t mention your name, in case you weren’t ready for it. Lol’

They dined, got cosy…as the babies and I ‘third wheeled it’ for them. (I’m awesome at ruining love. 🙂 ) Junior brought us daisies. Ruby made us watch her ‘monkey bar.’

Yet, the evening ended up being hilarious. So hilarious, that KatyP and I, for the FIRST TIME EVER, realized that we both have the exact same EVIL LAUGH. Its a hearty, evil, extremely loud,  belly laugh. If you know me, you’ll know that my voice and laugh is hideous. A tabloid once referred to it as ‘Chlamydia.’

(Which actually makes no sense, dickheads. 😉 )

Anyway, we have the same laugh. No clue why? But I loved it. We’re twinning. It kinda made me miss ‘Firmonnell,’ who is my other chick bestie.

Nothing is better than remembering someone, when laughter occurs. It means the person you remember, makes you happy, as that laughter, leads your mind straight to them. That alone is *magic.* Especially when people usually only remember me…when they’re drunk or hungover. Lol

It actually used to be a trick my LA Guy friends used to do, on dates…They used to given advice to make a girl laugh, because she’ll always associate you with good times.

Talking about missing folk…This morning and a lot of mornings, if i’m being honest, ‘The Swirl’ (who was a major part of my last year..and even kinda this year…He’s sort of sprinkled into Wunna Land sporadically as time has passed, over a few years ‘on and off’ in fact… ) Anyway, he was running through my mind.

He actually runs through it my a great deal, yet I kinda do nothing about it anymore and mainly because I certainly believe that I don’t run through his mind very much, at all.

Diva’s don’t like that. Lol.

But today, I realized how much I’d learnt from him…without him even really knowing and I always have great respect for those who teach me life, love or things about myself, Especially when they don’t one bit PREACH IT, yet instead simply cross paths with me and for a moment, ‘do life.’ They’re the people who make you reflect. They’re the people who make you grow.

So, the stuff I learnt about myself, enabled me to adjust appropriately. But one of the main things i learnt was how important it was to put ‘Career First,’ so you can make your entire dreams come true…and to let everything else come second, because once you have your career sorted, you’re also filled with this euphoric happiness and also then able to provide for..in my case, the babies. (Who are my world!)

That’s a good bit of advice, that I only learnt by crossing paths with him.

I love life and i’m powered by all things creative. I’m fueled by love, a little too much. I stop to ‘smell the roses’ a lot more, with a cocktail in my hand than I need to. There are phases where i get distracted easily. Lol.

But I’m running Wunna land, which is my actual business (some people never realize that?) My actual entire life, is now my actual business. Sometimes people don’t notice that? Lol. But being a blogger/influencer…in this day, is an extremely lucrative career. A lot of work goes into it…and you could find yourself working every single second and every single day, if ya lucky? However, it’s almost silly to me, when people think you literally do fuck all.

I work smart, not hard and have chosen a job that I LOVE, instead of working a mundane ‘someone elses dream.’

Yet, I learnt as a young girl in Hollywood, that in show business or entertainment, that the best talent always MAKE IT LOOK so easy.

But i’m loving it..and i’m lucky….I’ll always tell you how lucky I am.

I’m also very single. I’m not sure why people keep asking me if I am?? It’s like people think I have some secret boyfriend ‘hidden in the dressing room wardrobe’. I’m lucky, but I’m not that bloody lucky.

Haha.

I get a ton of messages about it every single day. Yes, i’m all for ‘Fourth time lucky’…Yet i’m pretty careful, when it comes to choosing ‘life partners.’

Well…NOW, I am.

Talking about weddings, I’m excited that our Prince Harry and Megan are about to get wed. I love a wedding and I love a Prince, so why not eh! Plus, we have some *bomb ass awesome* snapchat filters, to play with now, don’t we? 🙂

I’m not gonna watch it, cos it does ‘go on‘ for a bit, doesn’t it? Lol. The ‘dragging on ‘ of it all would bore me. I’m all about just saying ‘I do’ and getting on with the drinking. Maybe that’s my problem. 😉

But i’ll celebrate it, a hundred times over.

Plus, the next time i get married, and I will…..It’ll be a chilled, heart felt shindig. I don’t want it to be a production. I don’t want it to find myself stood in the swan lake gardens of The Hotel Bel Air again…with a wedding planning fanning me, as she screams down her headset, whilst she’s holding my trail…I just want it to feel peaceful….natural…and I want to celebrate a union, and celebate love,  the way it’s meant to be celebrated..

Then we’ll all just get pissed and just go wild with a madness, that could only label ‘JOY.’

But I’ll do it again, if my MR.Right can be bothered to find me…

FOURTH TIME LUCKY, all the way!

In the meantime, I’m pretty lucky….’Career First,’ love will find it’s way to you. 😉