Ruby, Life Lessons & A Big Old Week

Today I’m feeling great. Didn’t think i’d be feeling as great as I do to be honest, as my evening was filled with bad dreams and scary bits of fear. How delicious right?

Funny thing is, I decided to wake up, gleefully chill for a second, relax about life and pressure because being stressed about anything is a waste of your actual time….remember that…. it gets you know where, but in a tizzy…Then I got up and got on with life with a smile.

Yeah, I have a lot of work on, yeah I’m under pressure, yeah it’s going to be a little bit of an emotional week for me, as Junior, my littlest takes on his the ‘First Day of Big School’ on Wednesday. (When that happens to your tiniest, you just ‘well up’ with emotion and you have no clue why? It springs out of nowhere? For me, his entire life will just flashback before me…It’s like a milestone…You can’t believe how time as flown and how you’ve AT ALL managed to keep them in one piece for FOUR WHOLE YEARS! Lol)

But yeah…all of the above….everyone’s going through it. Everyone’s going through the exact same thing. Some of us will do with grace, some of us will do with with a smile, some of us will stress and some of us will not be able to handle it. You decide which path you want to tinker down. It’s like a catwalk…you form your strut and you go for it. But like i said, we’re all going through the same thing…So it makes me less special and more normal. Infact no, it’s makes us all special, as special is the new normal. More people need to appreciate the life that they have. It’s not shit. It’s great. You’re doing better than you think you are!

Yesterday was great. I had a lot of work to do, an audition and all my book to write. The babies were off to ‘Sunday with their Daddies.’ Junior got to Keiran with easiest of ease and as Pete (Ruby’s Daddy) was running late…Ruby tugged at my arm, beckoned me down to her mouth for a whisper and simply said in the most gentlest manner,

‘Mum….do you think it would be okay, if I didn’t go to my Dad’s just yet and instead do lunch somewhere with you. I’d really like that.’

I think she needed that. We go back a long way Ruby and I. πŸ˜‰ We’re life team mates. We’ve both been through a lot emotionally. And sometimes, she just needs a moment with me….where there is just us, no one else and the world a blur around us.

Yesterday, Ruby and I had our ‘Mummy/Daughter’ day and it was perfect. We sat, we lunched, we chatted about life, with laughter. I mean, I just looked at her as she asked me questions about life and the world, and she just looked like the most perfect little lady.

‘So boys can fancy boys Mum?

‘Yeah totally. And girls can fancy girls to.’

‘Oh? I fancy Justin Bieber, so I must fancy boys, right? Why do you have big round boobies and some women have thin floppy boobies?’

‘Oh, cos my boobs are *boob job* boobs and some women have normal boobies..’

‘Are me and Junior only half brother and sister because we have different dads?’

‘You’re brother and sister. I’ve raised you that way. I’m ya mum. You’re my babies. We don’t do half of anything. We’re a family..He’s your brother…’

‘My Dad says that Junior and I were with the birds and the bees and then I pushed him and he fell out of your tummy?’

‘ERm….Hahaha. Well you know that didn’t happen. When you’re older i’ll tell you what happened? Haha. That did not happen.’

‘Are you gonna get a mojito?’

‘Noooo….just a wine.’

‘Mum…I love you…’

‘I love you to baby…You’re beautiful…’

Infact, there was a moment where she just paused, went quiet and then started to giggle to herself.

‘What are you giggling at?’

‘I’m just so happy.’

And as a mum, that’s all you need to hear.

Then the world took a turn, I got on with some work, Ruby spent some time with her Daddy and although i had a moment of panic about all the work I have to conquer…I just decided to go to bed early and relax. If there’s an obstacle, I’ll go around it. If there’s a wall, I’ll glamourously throw a glitter rope over it and start climbing. If there’s a dickhead…well I don’t deal with dickheads.

Resting, worked wonders.

Today I feel great.

Don’t let the shitty bits of stress get to you. Think positively. I’m a huge ‘law of attraction’ believer. Like attracts like and all that shimme. Do it, because once you surrender to stress, it spreads like wildfire to everyone around you, those that you care about….and all around like germs. It’s not good for you, or them…

Cheer up. Get on with it! Happy Monday.

Oh and thank you for following my life!

When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’Β and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ πŸ˜‰ Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. πŸ™‚ )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it. Β I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. πŸ™‚ I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. πŸ™‚

Speak soon,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Embracing Your Inner Sexiness

I had a bit of a ‘wobble’ yesterday. I don’t know what happened? I lost my swag for a moment and this innocent yet not very sexy cloud of panic…which is a dramatic way of putting ‘insecurity’ swept across my glittery shores. lol.

‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me? I can’t eat! I’m looking at my phone. I’m feeling all weak and not in control..I’m…I’m..’

Mel: ‘You’re boring me now. You need to man up.’

Firmonnell: ‘You just need to go with it and enjoy it…’

Fairytale Blond: ‘YES! I get like that too!’

You see, the great thing about being Me, is that when a ‘wobble’ in Wunna land occurs (that should be the title to a book or a sex toy.) …and because i’m probably the most expressive girl you’ll unfortunately ever cross paths with πŸ™‚ IF I KNOW YOU. If i don’t, I’m quite *nod…nod..smile smile…*Β Yet, with my girls, i’m wild, fun and all ‘oh my GOD, get what’s happened!!’Β Yet, that’s because I adore them, we’re a team, they make me feel all comfy and not very judged. We can say or do anything to each other, in love, banter or life and charmingly get away with it all. We never judge each other and we can’t because we’re all so different. Instead we admire what the others have on offer and sassily help one another out when necessary.

They staggered around me and gave life smirks, laughter, took the piss out of me and ping ponged really good advice into my soul for about 14 minutes. Some were in swivel chairs, others on phones, one by a window. I’m glad my discomfort makes them laugh. NOT! Lol.

But then i had a bag of crisps and a popcorn tea and felt better…Which made me decide that I wasn’t feeling all ‘crazy,’ I was just hungry.

Then we started chatting about other people’s problems and it sort of again made me feel better! Lol. It was weird as i’ll draw the spotlight onto myself and then when everyone’s taking notice, I’ll panic and get more anxious. Then when the spotlight turned and lit up someone elses life…I felt powerful again? Lol. It’s hard being a glamour puss. πŸ˜‰

Then I don’t know what happened but we started to talk about our sex lives. Well no, that’s wrong…we started to talk about OUR OWN sensuality and where we RANK ourselves in the ‘how sexy we are‘ in bed stakes.

Mel’s all naughty. She’s a grown ass woman, who wouldn’t think twice at the idea of fur coating it with no undies on, with a wink in her eye and sassy glint of powerhouse.

I love that! As when you’re past your 20’s, you turn from girl to woman and BOY do you embrace it sexually. You enjoy sex more, you enjoy your own body more, you feel more comfortable with being openly sexy and YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE and how to please. You’re less insecure and you know what turns you on. You feel powerful in the bedroom.

I FEEL POWERFUL IN THE BEDROOM.

So when it comes to me, i’m cheeky, but i’m naughty. I embrace my sexuality, love intimacy in general and ooze sensuality. I’m loving, but i’m playful…and being in touch with my little sexy self…I’m confident. I’ll go for it and because I enjoy being sexy….especially with someone that I care about. I adore role play. I love dress up. I love it all. If i didn’t like anything, It would be outside sex. I don’t like to be cold. Lol. (Such a granny.)

I think, as girls…or ladies…we all have our issues, don’t we? ‘The Bedroom’ is not one of mine…It’s a really comfy and really private place for me. It seems like i’d tell you everything when it comes to sex, when I’d really tell you nothing, as the privacy of intimacy is what makes sensuality sexy.

But anyway we were chatting about sex and whether we’d send naughty pictures etc…People shouldn’t get cut up about being sexy or feeling sexy. It winds me up when people judge girls who embrace their sexuality…Sex shouldn’t be taboo. It should be fun. Providing you’re an adult…When you’re a chick…SEX IS BEST WHEN YOU GET INTO YOUR 30’S…FOR BOTH PARTIES.

But yeah, we’re chatting away about all things senusal…

and YOU SHOUDL’VE SEEN FAIRYTAE BLONDS FACE.

Now, Fairytale Blond has got ‘the sexy.’ Whether she embraces it or not, I don’t know? No..that’s not true. I do know. She doesn’t. Lol.

Mel and I are sat girl chatting about all sorts, so openly, like ‘Debbie Does Dallas’ is an episode of The Antiques Road Show and ‘Fairytale Blond’ was sat on her swivel chair, blushing pink with shyness and having to fan her self repeatedly because..

‘Gosh it’s getting a bit hot in here…’

HAHAHAHA!

We all just pissed ourselves laughing. She’s so cute. It’s to die for! I’ve never known anything like it. Β She’s so ‘Fairytale.’ We literally had to turn the heat down, so she could pull herself together. Lol. But i know, that she has ‘the sexy‘ Β in her because she too can quite openly talk about sex…It just makes her blush.

THEN to my left, I noticed Firmonnell. And I know Firmonnell is sexy, because her and her husband used to have a sex step. She enjoys sex, she’ll do sex…but she’s not one to chatter about it. Which is honourable. πŸ™‚ But shit, if you want to know everything.

‘Do you send your hubby nudes?’

(Straight forward question from the girls…Lol)

‘Well i’ve been with him since i was 19. When i was younger..at that time things weren’t so techy. It’d cost us 30p to send a picture message. So no…i’d probably run out of credit!’

HAHAHAHA!

However, after girl talk, sex talk and confidence talk…Something tells me their other halves are now in for surprise sexy treats.

 

 

Popaballs, Vlogs & Songs About…

Sorry for the glittery absence of ‘written word’ from Wunna Land last night. I just needed to swirl in a merry chill, relax and enjoy the art of that good old ‘Friday Feeling.’ I’m Happy! I’m dancing to the kitty beat of my own tunes and well I haven’t really tinkered much on anything ‘social media’ over the last few days, yet only because at times, when you sort of ‘perform’ to an audience constantly, one that you’re growing…You need a moment of ‘just being away’ and firstly so you don’t get a stress rash, which my doll of a darling, chick wiggle ‘Firmonnell’ calls a ‘Dragon Rash.’ Secondly…so you can evaluate life and balance out all that is going on with *can can* kicks. Thirdly, so you can have a red berried wine. Fourthly…so everyone wonders where you are, has a panic and then upon your return you find that your engagements are a bustle πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ I know! I’m EVIL! Mwahaha! (The fourth jiggle is called the ‘fear of loss.’ When people are used to doing, reading, or seeing something or someone habitually and you pull it away…they weirdly need it more because they feel like they’re losing it. πŸ™‚ )

Why am I a bitch with boobies?

*Add Popaballs here.*

Image result for popaball logoImage result for popaball logo

(If you don’t know what Popaballs are you really aren’t living appropriately, as they are MY FAVOURITE little bursting fruit infusion balls, that you glamourously tinker into ANY DRINK, infact even food, to add a fun, sassy, yet extraordinarily juicy madness. They make great cocktail party gifts! The Wunna Babies have them in porridge. I’m a huge traditional ‘Bubble Tea’ fan. Ofcourse I’m a lady of the Orient, so obviously this is such a fresh modern development on one of my traditional faves! Try’em.)

Right where was I?

Okay, lets go. i’ll skim it.

Yesterday I learnt that my chick friends and I aren’t actually dirty ‘filth’ eaters at all. We just like to graze. So if there’s food in front of us…ANY FOOD, we’ll nibble it. The filth drawer turned into a Β£3 FRUIT BOWL! Well done us! I see waistlines in our futures.

My friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ definitely believes that you can..

‘Tell if a guy has a really big willy by the sound of his voice.’

That 90’s throwback song that goes…‘it’s godda be big’ was playing in the background and it had reminded her of willies…It does though doesn’t it!

So if you have a *piddley* voice, we’ll think your ‘nipper’ squeaks, because we’ve decided that, as women of the world, we can visualize what your ‘man part’ looks like, simply by listening to the tones that sound out of your mouth.

‘Double B’ doesn’t know if..

‘Pear drops are pear flavoured? ‘

Fairytale Blond, ‘Chrissie! Have you heard this, for your blog!!!’

Yet she DOES know!!! She just likes to be stupid in the name of hilarity. Yesterday she was all ‘SASSERILLA,’ Β & DIVA strutting about the place, armed with no working ears and her resting bitch face.

‘What? I’ve had my hair done. I’ve got hair over BOTH EARS now…I can’t HEAR things AND HAVE HAIR. FOR FUCKS SAKE.’

I also learnt that we girls are weird, yet a delightful species of course. Not all of us are weird. But there’s certainly that tiny little bundle of us, that are tapped. πŸ™‚

When you’re older you’re flattered by boys and attention. yet you’re not in a swirl about the flattery unless you fancy them.

When you’re a young girl, fresh on the emotional track…with bundles of rubbish love life experiences still about to occur, you are CRAZY. I’ve been there. I’m high fiving ya! Lol. (Not really. i think you’re dickheads. πŸ™‚ But yes, the young girls want male interest, yet when they get it, they can’t just LOVE it gracefully…they HAVE TO REFER to the poor guy as a…

‘UGH! GOD! HE’S TOTALLY STALKING ME!!!

Hahahha!

THEN like that’s not enough embarrassment, they further it on, by stretching out how appalling the gent is for even attempting to ask a question of ANY SORT. Lol.

‘What a stalker! Why is he asking that? Stop stalking everyone!’

Hahaha!

We had an incident occur where in which a handsome Sandy Blond male, cautiously strided into our bubble, to query if his ex girlfriend was with us. He had MISTAKEN his ex for ‘Firmonnell.’ (Who wasn’t there at the time and has been married forever with children, to the ‘Big D.’) So the Sandy Blond Handsome just wanted to ask a few questions in general…

OH LORD, have mercy on his soul…I am naturally social and charming… so I’ll be helpful…on any level…and was prepared to be…

But Feisty Gem, who is going through a really difficult time right now, in the love AND life department..TOOK THE REINS and well she currently thinks all men are massive TWATS, as she’s fresh off a bumpy love breakup…Let’s just say she made the executive decision to release her frustration on the Sandy Blond Handsome…

‘HE’S DEFINITELY A F****** STALKER! I’m not telling you where she LIVES!’

Then Double D (don’t get him mixed up with Double B) decided to stick up for ‘the boys’ with words of wisdom , that actually made proper sense…but being girls, we all just looked at him like he shouldn’t be speaking….EVER! LOL.

I like ‘Double D’ because you can say whatever you want to him and he’ll laugh it off. The other boy helper ‘Sellers’ has already been forced of the Island. I liked him too. He should’ve stayed. But life is life and it takes you to places…

I watched Steve Bartlett’s Vlog Last night. I watch it every night at 8pm. No matter where I am. I’m a massive fan and I watched a girl called Amelia Wood (is that her name?) Anyway, she has started her own business, or trying to…she’s still in the ‘hustle struggle’ phases of it all which is an honorable phase, and she showed up, to ask Steve’s advice….as she’s finding the money part hard.

From my experience when it comes to chicks or anyone in business….I think that it is SO important for you focus on the positive parts of the experience…and not on the hardships. The hardships are your ‘pity party.’ And I don’t mean that harshly. I mean it truthfully. The ‘pity paty’ gets you nowhere or drunk.

In life, I’ve been through SUCH A MUCH….I’ve experienced what felt like the poorest existence, where I’ve been literally homeless in New York. Not for long, as I had great LA friends. But what I remember from that time was finding it funny that all I had eaten for the entire day was a shot of coconut rum,that I got for free. Lol. During that time, I STILL waltzed into the business centres of various hotels and wrote my blog on their computers. Hahaha! DAILY! And I loved it! I had nothing! But my blog! That was my life! Yet, I must’ve had some sort of *glow* about me, because THIS RANDOM STRANGER saw me sat in a hotel lobby for hours..To this day, I have no clue who he was…but he was this black guy, rocking his ‘fro out. He was wearing beige, looked really normal. He walked up to me and handed me Β£200 in cash…and said,

‘You’re too beautiful to be going through whatever you’re going through…’ AND WALKED AWAY!

AS IF!! Yet at the same time i’ve experienced what people view as the WEALTHIEST lifestyle, where I have yachted and jetted and had assistants, upon assistants wait upon me in executive suites that only a Princess would find a bore…

That’s all I can tell you about that particular time, as obviously you can imagine, it was wonderful.

Yet at the same time, i’ve done the two jobs, kids and ‘trying to make it’ bonanza.

Yet during all experiences….I was always laughing. I was always happy. I was always positive and always blogging. I never stressed out. I never worried about money or ‘making it.’ I still went out and had fun and I don’t even know how. πŸ™‚ I just got on with life…Happily…I never felt sorry for myself…I didn’t ask for help, because I wasn’t ready to ask for help back then…YET no matter what advice anyone gives you….The truth behind it all, is that you need to figure it out by yourself and once you do…people will come. They’ll notice you. I promise.

You can make your dreams come true. It happens every minute of every day.

More people help you, when you don’t ask for help…