Sunshine, Booty Shorts & Events in Leeds Tonight!

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Suns Out! Guns Out! Strut. Wink. Trout Pouts!ย 

I’m in such a good mood because I feel like there’s a *sizzle* in the air, a little peeky of fun, seems to be a swirling around us today. Can you feel it?

(Try again. Close ya eyes. You can feel it now, right?)

The sky is blue. The sun’s meant to be out from this afternoon onwards. And well… in my world, this means that the only thing left to do, is to reach for your booty shorts, hair toss a ‘curly blow‘ and paint your kitten nails red!!!

Yeah! Yeah! Doll Faces!

(I’ve already actually done ALL of the above. I did it as soon as I woke up.. Then I reconsidered my outfit, because It read ‘Vegas,’ not ‘School run.’ I got changed, did a school drop off…and re visited ‘glamour pussing’ as soon as I swung back into my home. I wish I swung in on a chandelier.ย 

No such luck.

Whatsapp Msg

Miss. Murphy: ‘Do the boys wear long socks with shorts? I don’t think I have any!!’

Me: ‘Juniors just in trousers today…because I forgot to buy shorts. ;)’

Snapchat Msg

Firmonnell: ‘I need to call you on my lunch. I need to talk to you.’

I think we both cried last night? I’m not sure, if she did?ย  If you don’t know, ‘Firmonnell’ is my best chick friend…and I definitely cried to Hollyoaks yesterday…which I found really awkward. If that happened, I’m certainly sure, that across town, ‘Firmonnell’ was doing the same. We really do get ‘hormonally emotional’, around the same time.

Being a girl rocks.

Anyway, things are really busy in Wunna Land right now. My April is slammed. And like I said, I’m being a shitty ‘be there,’ friend, as one minute i’m here, the next minute i’m there…

Infact…i’ll tell….

It’s a train ride to London, a flight through to Spain, a school run check in, 3 meetings back in Leeds, whilst loving and adoring the kids, yet making an event here, not being late for an event there, learning lines for an audition on Skype, but showing up for an audition in person…sitting through a conference call…emailing back a tv company…and then getting through twenty five shoots…. in two days and a half days.

I wouldn’t have it an other way though. I feel really lucky right now. Not just lucky as in ‘blessed.’ Lucky as in ‘i’m rolling that dice and winning it baby.’

I’m sort of in the very early stages of what I like to call the COMEBACK ‘MAGIC.’ But for the first time….

I can actually FEEL IT…..

AND THAT *MAGIC* IS WHAT I WANT TO PASS ON.

I mean, you might think the above ‘busy’ paragraph is a nightmare. It can be. But to me, it’s perfect. It’s all I ever wanted to do, all I ever loved as a career and the one thing that keeps me balanced.

Keeps me alive. I get an incredible buzz off from it all.

People choose their own paths and I guess, I just didn’t want to be sat on my arse, in an office all day, for hardly any money, doing everything that I HADย to do, behind a pleasant fake smile, yet nothing that I WANTED to do…and as the yeeeeeears pass me bbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Time really does fly. Do not forget that!

To some people the ‘office, years pass me by‘ is their ‘awesome,‘ it’s ‘gangsta,‘ it’s a reason to crack open the champagne. And that’s great, because we all have different stories to celebrate.

To me…it’s DULL. I mean, I’d rather feed goats for 92 hours…and I hate farmyard animals, after once being head butted by a Billy Goat Gruff. Lol. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I remember being so cross because it made me drop my Solero.

Don’t fuck with a Yorkshire Girls Ice Cream!

Anyway, I’m glad the sun’s out because i’m at an event this evening, in Leeds. It’s at the ‘Weaves & Waves‘ hair salon, on George Street, as they catwalk out their new line of wigs.

I love the local city events, in salons, or boutique stores. I think they’re kinda cool, because they’re usually all canapes and prosecco pours… over pleasantries….You’ll scan the room and it will be filled with popular city faces and littered with reality tv personalities, all taking selfies with one another and creating insta stories for kicks.

I love it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

And out of everyone, I have THE BEST job, because I get to show up…do the Reality TV/ Modelly ‘ting’…But at the same time, get to scan, chat and absorb everything going down, for a BLOG.

So i’ll either zone in on one person…or do a little bit of everything. It depends on what happens really? But that’s the exciting part of the job….because you just never know…..until it’s actually happening to you. be It good for bad. Lol

BUT THE SUN IS OUT…WHICH ALWAYS MEANS RECEPTION DRINKS, FLIRTS AND REALLY GOOD TIMES.

No matter what, I’ll have a blast! Well…if my shirt dries. I forgot to wash it, so i’ve had to plonk it in this morning and dry it on a radiator. ๐Ÿ™‚ (So glamourous.)

And i’m not going all ‘see through’ dressy. I’m doing a blue & white boobied, pinstripe shirt.. demin booty shorts and heels.

Bit of boob. Bit of leg. Suns totally out.

Knowing Yorkshire, the air’ll probably smell like barbeques. Lol. One bit of sun and everyone rocks down to Morrisons for bargain meat and cans of ale.

I think i’m getting my face done…and then Pitstop Rentals, the best chauffeuring service ever, will be picking me up and driving me to the event!

 

 

 

 

 

Hormones, Dull Folk & I Just Don’t Like Festivals

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I’m feeling amazing today! I’m back on work mode and it feels good. It feels ‘OOoh Laaa.’ Yet, because i’m an old bird, Iย  was quite terribly knackered yesterday, after being blessed withย  a really EARLY work wake up call. So, I just chilled and enjoyed family time, after a bit of picture taking and a rather important meeting. But I couldn’t keep my little kitten eyes open. I kept nodding off, like a granny, then shocking myself up. Lol. Only a Desperado could help me. ๐Ÿ˜‰ (Any excuse, I know.!!! In case you DIDN’T KNOW A Desperado, is my favourite ‘slum it and chill’ go to drink.)

Yeeehah!

I’m in an updo today, and it’s great because it’s making me look like i’ve had botox.

(Snapchat Msg)

Chick friend: ‘You’ve properly stepped up your game Wunna! Your holiday pics and this whole Wunna Land blah, blah, is on fucking FIRE! You need a hose down.’

Me: ‘I’m getting there. I’m a long way off yet. But cheers, Baby boo. Hose down? Sounds rude. I think i’ll just have a 9am wine.’

Anyway, last night, I popped into a ‘Go Local’ in Ackworth to grab the Desperado and two ginger beers. (Love it there.) I’m craving ginger beers at the moment. And Iย  just love them because they remind me of my childhood. My dad and I would drink them and dance around to UB40 songs. A moment filled with love. ๐Ÿ™‚ I get my drinking habits and my creative talent from my Pops. I don’t think he had a ginger beer though? His moves were too good. ๐Ÿ™‚

Walked in. Saw the back of a guy, who looked moderately attractive. I only saw his back and his gym bum. But he had a Essex accent and was bantering out loud to the two middle aged ladies behind the counter. When he left, I slowly walked up an isle with a smile on my face…

Me: ‘Look at the state of you two! You’re beaming! Calm yourselves down! Hahaha!’

Lady: ‘Here you! Lol.ย  Just because we’re old doesn’t mean we can’t see a good thing, when it’s in front of us!’

Me: ‘You look love struck. Lol. I’ve never seen you so happy!’

Lady: ‘He’s moving down here….’

Me: ‘What? With his beautiful wife & kids? Haha.’

Lady: ‘Well SHE (points at the other cashier) definitely knows how to pull’em. She was stood there, chatting to the hottie, eating a bloody Shepherds pie! Hahaha!’

Me: ‘HAHAHAH. You couldn’t even BE any more northern if you tried.’

I mean, what is life without a bit of gravy on ya face, eh!

Anyway, the reason why i wanted to blog about that moment, was simply because it made my heart warm. It was so innocent and flirty and showed me that no matter how old, how young, sassy, quiet, how rich, poor, small or tall….a lady is..? She STILL always has that giggly little ‘playground’ girl inside of her… when it comes to boys.

It was such a cute moment. Glad, I destroyed it with by sick witty banter…and a ginger beer in my hand. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Then I checked through the magazines,and papers, to see who had made all the covers.

Anyway, everything’s great! I’m really busy. The kids are back at school and i’m gonna miss having them around me all the time.

Being a ‘lone parent’ and raising them by myself, and having to work SO hard to give them a great great life, has always meant that I haven’t really ever had the option of just chilling. Y’know, what I mean, I never could just stay at home with them, mummy them, make teas, etc etc…. I never even managed to do that when I was wife…and that was ANY of the times, I was a wife. Lol. My life has just never given me that apple to munch on…However, it’s been wonderful.

I managed it all with happiness and I managed to be a NORMAL mum over their Easter holidays from school…(Well as normal as Wunna Land gets, because I did audition a lot and then fly to Spain and do days and days of pap shots.)ย  Bottom line, I love being with them and the cheeky little ‘Coconuts’ (which is what I call them) love it MADLY.

I sort of fantasize about times like that. I’m gonna miss them heading back to school…for about an hour. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’ll just swish back into work mode then and probably do it in stilettos.

I’m trying to tell you what’s going on work wise right now, but I because there’s just so so much, going on.ย  I have auditions zooming out my ear holes, a bunch of modeling gigs, i’ve had to turn down another trip to Spain, due to being ‘booked out,’ and turn down a show, because I didn’t think It was the right fit for me. It’s not something that I thought i’d enjoy….and I didn’t think i’d make much impact on a show of that sort. Well…no, i’d make impact, but not benefit from it AND…It involved a lot more of Wunna land than just me.

So I just said no.

But regardless, I’m back on the telly shortly (I again, can’t tell you anything about it yet) and I’m unfortunately eating everything in sight….when i’m meant to be on a Herbalife plan.

I’m blaming it on the ‘You only life once’ line, because I have to blame it on something, right? But if i’m honest, I kinda feel sexy anyway, whether I have a shake OR a burger in my hand…and I think that’s what confidence and VA VOOMย IS!

Shaking‘ was and IS great because it kinda made me realize that I’m happy anyway…. Plus, I did lose weight for my Spanish snaps, which helped me out tremendously. So, I’ll be back ‘shaking’ shortly. yet because my schedule is about to get tighter and when you’re on the go, it’s absolutely brilliant.

No Faff. Easy Going. Just the way I like things.

I think i might have a wine to celebrate!

I also think, it must nearly be my ‘time of the month’ soon, because I’m going through THAT week, where in which EVERYTHING annoys me. Lol. (You’ll only get it, if you’re a girl.) People are really annoying me right now and i’m being much sharper, much sassier…much more uncensored. ๐Ÿ™‚ I seem to have put down my ‘rosie tinteds’ for a decent set of RAGING hormones.

I’m quite ‘tell it how it is‘ ..of course with charm…by nature. If people can’t take a bit of banter or the odd home truth, then they’re not yet comfy in their own skin. Right now, i’m finding everyone quite…….What’s the word??

Dull?

I keep reading people’s posts and listening to conversations and thinking…

WHY BE SO DULLSVILLE? WAKE UP. ENJOY LIFE.

And the thing about ‘The Dull’ ones, is that they’re ALWAYS the first humans, to get theirย slow moving, ‘JUDGEY *never pointed at fun* FINGERS‘ out…. They’re all..

‘I’m too good for this./I’m too good for that./I would never this…I cannot believe that…/I am the most boring, unexciting human in the entire flipping land. Let’s buy tins of magnolia paint and just watch it dry upon already magnolia walls.’

Lighten up. Chill out. You don’t have to be wild. You just have to switch the beige mindset, for a better one that’s swirled in LIFE, COLOUR…OR EVEN JUST RUM?

YOU BORING SODS. (Can you tell i’m hormonal? Lol)

I love being a girl. We’re bonkers. Staying sane, is our official life goal.

My news feed got so frustrating that I startedย looking at all the ‘festival fever because it’s everywhere, isn’t it. It’s all gone ‘Coachella mad!

Now, Coachella.. at least looks fun. It looks sunny and alive.ย  I just NOT a BRITISH festival kinda girl. I’m not one to want to camp in a tent, wee in a plastic cup and refrain from showering for days… in the name of anything. I’m a glamour puss. And i’m not really bothered about having Unicorn hair, rainbow glitter on my face and adorning my arm with endless wristbands, that aren’t made of diamonds. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m a kitten, who enjoys a ‘cocktail and a wink,‘ and yes I can slum it. I love to chill more than anything. I mean, chilling is my favourite thing. If you have ever dated me, ever…you will know that about me.

I’m too old to ‘festival’ย or camp about.

I mean, Glamping in the forest , in my giant mansion of a cabin was about as far as my camping skills go…and even that had to include a massage, a hot tub, room service and the option of an ‘in house’ chef. ๐Ÿ˜‰

My chick friend even once stated that..

‘Camping to Chrissie, is like staying in the worst room in some Five Star Hotel.’

I love that! I’m not a dick. I just don’t like things to be a struggle during my down time. I work really hard, even though it may not look that way. I work really REALLY hard. ALL THE TIME. My work ethic is incredible. I’m fun but i’m professional and most successful people are, I reckon? I simply play it like it’s all a jiggle and a winkl…because that’s what my job needs to look like…

I just prefer calm, easy going peace, or quiet luxury…that comes ready made with love..Festivals are a Wunna Land ‘no go.’ None of this waiting in line for a shower… in a tented field, filled with ‘drama’ boys, and girls with Unicorn hair because i’veย  paid extra pences and booked ‘Vanity.’

I’ll pass…

So, yeah, I enjoy fun. But a festival is just not my cuppa…gin.

I don’t have anything else to say….I’m off to meet ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Mag later I think….

I haven’t caught up with him in ages….

 

 

 

 

Back on Northern Soil Dolls….

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(Picture Copyright: Aaron Parfitt/Flynet)

So, I was on my flight back. I flew Ryanair on the way home. I’d passed some Spanish football team en route at Alicante airport, one of them accidentally knocked into me, (which didn’t really bother me…I mean…it’s life, worse things can happen. ) Anyway, he decided to apologize repeatedly and sincerely…which was really well mannered.ย  Then chat to me….in Spanish? But by this point… I was knackered…and I’d be watching a family of 4, with a really bossy/strict mum control her entire family for a good 20 minutes, as I had a wine and waited for my flight.

I was done.

But I do want to say that the STAFF at Alicante Airport were DIVINE TO ME! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! SO SO MUCH! You couldn’t have been more lovelier!

Flight’s home are wonderful, because no one enjoys waiting around, twiddling thumbs…when they’ve run out of Euros, at airports. Nothing could be more boring. And i’m creative! ๐Ÿ™‚ Fights…Fights? I mean Flights….Lol. Flights home are MUCH MORE tedious than flights TO places…as you’re literally just shattered, instead of being filled with excitement. You go on ‘GET ME HOME’ mode…

There was a point, where I just looked up at the blond, scrunchied (they always wear scrunchies,) trolley girl, with sorrow in my eyes, the biggest hair ever and…tits…..:) with two handfuls of change and a pink tshirt that read..

‘YOU DO YOU, BOO’

(LOL)

I was too knackered to converse in any jolly fashion, but i tried to smile, which may have looked like a *wince* and I tried to put on my posh girly voice, that may have sounded like CRUELLA DE VILLE. (Don’t care if i’ve spelt that wrong.) My left had was filled with Euro’s…ALL IN COINS and my right hand was filled with British coins….

‘Hi. I just don’t want to break into any of my notes… I need to use up all this change, especially Euros…Can you pick me out stuff, ANY STUFF….that includes wine and crisps….so I can spend it all?’

Trolley Dolly: ‘Yeah, absolutely. If you want I can mix up the the change for you, so you can pay for it all with both currencies, as one whole payment.’

ISN’T SHE JUST BLISS!ย 

‘YES, I love you. Please, do that! Thank you so much. Lol.’

She winked at me…I almost became part of the Mile High Club. Lol

And with a wiggle and a giggle….the poor girl stood there merrily and did a whole bunch of MATHS (my worst absolute subject…Actually what am I on about..‘love life‘ is my worst subject. Makes my maths look Einsteiny.) She stood, on the plane, in her scrunchie, with her name badge, as we flew through the clouds, calculating and adding for me….because I couldn’t be arsed to. That’s service! Lol. She counted change out of my hand and began passing me bits off the trolley.

LOTS OF BITS. More bits that i needed. But I couldn’t be more grateful.

After wine, we were home in a jiffy.Landed. Sorted. The gent next to me, told me to..

‘Watch that old mans head…’

As I almost flung my carry bag about like I was Beyonce, because I couldn’t reach it out of those top units. I love the Leeds flight home…It get’s really REAL and really Yorkshire.

Then as I stepped back into Leeds Bradford airport, did all the queues…shimmied through border control….shattered…but listening to two boys infront of me, rambling on about the chicks they’re apparently about to ‘sex up’ with their really little willies.

One of the Random Boys: ‘You…Where you off? You taking me, cos…?’

Me: ‘As if you’ve been on holiday and not managed to get a tan?’

I love butting in on people’s sentences when they’re trying to be ‘swaggy,’ changing the subject and leading it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ You wanna play ‘swag,’ let’s play?

Boy: ‘I was out partying all night. I partied hard, y’know, I slept through the day, all day… I got businesses and shit… So, where you taking me?’

(He said it to me, like I had never ever seen a nightlife in my entire life. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Me: ‘I worked the whole time I was there. I shot. I’m a model. I’ve only been in Spain for 2 days.’

Boy: ‘My ex girlfriend’s a model…and..’

Me: ‘What’s her name?’

Boy: ‘You won’t know her… She done lots…She’s been to London and everything.. What stuff have you done?’

And at that point, I couldn’t be arsed anymore. I just got bored. Plus, there’s a time and a place for the answer to that question…and that’s when i’m at work, a casting, an audition, an interview..or if i’m getting to knoew someone personally, who I hope to be with forever. They’re the only times I EVER have to reel out a verbal CV. Not at BORDER CONTROL, in a ‘You do you, Boo’ tshirt. I’D JUST GOT OFF A PLANE FROM WORK. I WAS SHATTERED. I didn’t want to chat ‘my life story.’ย 

Luckily, his friend deliberately distracted him…and I clicked both their phones onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM ๐Ÿ™‚

ALL THE PROMO. Lol. No shame in my game.

When I’m tired, I’m really quiet and I’d rather just have people go to the blog and read up about me, because i’m just really shit, during those times.

Hahahah! Shit! And A SHIT!

When I’m not tired. I’m the exact opposite and you cannot shut me UP! I BUBBLE OVER WITH A CHAMPAGNE GIDDINESS.

Finally got through all the checks and was strutting my way out of Leeds/Bradford (again, the staff there couldn’t have been greater to me. Thank You. Service has been excellent everywhere I’ve been recently?)

I looked down at my phone…

(Whatsapp Msg)

Pitstop Rentals: ‘I’ll be in the carpark in five minutes.’

Then during my plane journey, I’d been thinking about ‘The Swirl’ a lot. Maybe because I was tired and when you are you think of ‘wanting comfort.’ You miss people…

(Whatsapp Msg:)

Me: ‘Hope game day went well babe! I’ve just got off the plane in Leeds. x’

The Swirl: ‘How was ur trip? xx’

Me: ‘Good. Just shattered. I just worked. How was footy?x’

Swirl: ‘We got beat…I got sent off. U doing much tonite? x’

Me: ‘Comfies, relaxing and wine. You? Bet you’re shattered?’

Swirl: ‘Yeah, I am. Nice chilled nite for me tonite too.’

Then I strutted up with my luggage on wheels to the ‘pick up’ stop…A few people were about, chatting to me, waiting around for their mums etc… and a Pregnant girl asked me if I had a lighter!!!!!! (We’re definitely back in Leeds.)

I looked to my right and my driver PITSTOP RENTALS (which is THE BEST chauffeuring service, int he world ever,) was edging up to the curb, in the Range Rover…for pick up.

THANK GOD!!! The car rocked up with a vibe. A hero vibe that saved my soul.

Within seconds, my driver had jumped out of the car, grabbed my bags off me, ignored the folk who were glaring, got me in the car and with the biggest smile and the most STYLISH ATTIRE….SWOOPED me out of Leeds/Bradford airport! It took seconds.

Pitstop Driver: ‘How was it? How did your shoots go?’

Me: ‘It was literally amazing. I don’t think i’ve ever worked as hard though. I can’t even believe I was just there for 2 days for work. I’m SHATTERED.’

Pitstop: ‘You’reย  soooo lucky.’

(He always reminds me that I’m lucky when he drives me. And it’s always the people who pass you safely from one destination to another, that have the quiet moments with you…away from ‘the show’ of it all and they remind you that you’re doing great, doing okay and that you’re super dooper lucky.)ย 

Me: ‘ I look terrible. I look like i’ve been pulled through a bush backwards and run over. I’m so tired’

Pitstop: ‘Well I know you’re hungry…You’ve worked hard. If anything you need to feel cared for and pampered right now. You need to be looked after! Hahah. Why don’t we stop off at the big fish & chip restaurant near the airport…and get something to eat and chill or bit.

Me: ‘PERFECT IDEA! LETS GO. I NEED FOOD, WINE AND A CHILL..’

Within minutes, we had swung through the restaurant door. I’m stood there directly off my Spanish flight, with my driver…and for the next hour we just sat (he moved us to a booth, cos our other table was wibbly lol)ย and we enjoyed a mixture of starters,ย  hearty fish and chip dinners, puddings, wines, coffees and banter.’

We chatted about his life and his work.He kept getting calls from ‘the office’ stating that the Lamborghini had a nail stuck in the wheel. Lol. First World Problems!

I chatted about all that I had done in Spain. He gave me pointers. Stuff, I already knew…but needed to hear. I talked about Simone. For some reason we started talking about ‘One Direction?’ (..because his best friend is Zayn Maliks uncle or something?)ย 

Then after I did a bunch of wine…which sucks if you’re a driver. (He’s also a good friend now.) He drove a very knackered Glamour Puss, back to her digs….on time and with the finest manner.

I STRUTTED UP TO THE DOOR SLOOOOOWLY, CREPT UP THE STAIRS…

AND SURPRISED RUBY AND JUNIOR, (WHO HAD MY FAMILY LOOKING AFTER THEM…)

And with the most excited *SCREECHES,* LAUGHTER, *RUNNING LEAP,* MUMMY CUDDLES and a moment of the most excited madness….Life just made sense again!

Those moments make everything worth it! If you’re a parent…then you get it. You get what i’m saying. I’m working my entire arse off right now and i’m all over the country, all of the time. Yet the most amazing and most fulfilling burst of true love and satisfaction comes, when you walk into the room and their world LIGHTS UP!

Makes my heart BEAM! The moments that matter…I really felt appreciated and sometimes that’s all a girl needs.

Ruby: Mum! Grandma said, a Babarrazi, is it Baba or Papa…was taking pictures of you looking sexy!?!’

Girls Nights, Cocktails & A Random Brave Message..

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Morning!!! So sorry, I couldn’t whizzle out a little bit of ‘diary’ yesterday. I don’t know what happened?ย  I just decided toย  surrender to ‘knackeredness’ after the weekend. I felt tired and hungover and both my babies are currently off school, so I found myself having to slide through tunnels in the sunshine, whilst having a picnic. Even though that sounds delightful to some….the park is NOT a place to be hungover. Bottom line…Ruby & Junior LOVED it and I guess, when it comes to life and parenting…that’s all that matters.

I now, NEVER blog when I’m shattered, as my story always lacks the essential ‘gusto.’ And I also try to refrain from blogging when drunk (these days)…as like tipsy texting…the blog is very rarely written by me and often should be credited to vodka. (Yet, I do adore a Wunna drunk blog. The last one ended in me being sick.)ย 

Okay, so Saturday evening, I worked, I mummied and with a *wink* and a *shimmie,* I managed to FIT INTO my ‘diet dress‘ deliciously designed by The Kardashians, glam up, damn up and venture over to The Electric Theatre for ‘Fairytales’ 30th birthday. (I don’t do weight loss via scales and tape measures…I do it via goal dresses.)

Right, I haven’t seen all the girls, apart from ‘Firmonnell’ (who is my chick best friend,) in a really long while. My life tinkered me in a completely different direction….a far less bumpy road, filled with magic and selfie taking ๐Ÿ˜‰ . Work & passion took my hand, things got busy, dreams came true and I sort of had to look behind me and *wave* them off, as I focused, on doing me, happiness and everything i’ve always wanted to.

(I told you, this is the chapter of my life, where I am being a shit friend…down to work.)

So, regardless, it was really good to bump into everyone, even though we couldn’t really ‘catch up.’ We dedicated the night to ‘Fairytale,’ who looked divine, tipsy and not even nearly 30! And we were there to make sure she knew that we adored her….via booze.

I was there first, even though the girls has NAGGED ME to make sure I turned up. I sent them a snapchat, after seeing they still had rollers in their hair and a boozy ‘ring of fire’ going on around a dining table. Lol.

‘You dicks. Don’t rush me here, when you’re not even fucking ready, let alone nearly HERE! Hustle’s still got rollers in! You’re shit friends. I’m here first. Lol’

They arrived…Pissed…and began hugging ans lip smooching me.

Firmonnell: ‘I feel really discombobulated from you right now!’

Me: ‘I feel like I have so much to say, but I can’t say it. I think it’s shocked my system being around everyone.’

(It was sort of like going back in time….glamourously, of course. We’re ‘dress up’ gals by nature, so we don’t like to look shit. There was one on the stage, one at the bar, two on the sofa and one squatted outside by a barrel and a play area with her hands over her mouth in shock. Lol But we all still looked fabulous.)ย 

WE DON’T PLAY.

I got to chitter with Mel, eye talk with ‘Firmonnell,’ have a dance with ‘Hustle Barbie’ and private convo with ‘Double B.’ (Who still fucking cracks me up.)

What I DID notice is how much my life has actually changed. I didn’t really notice until that night. Lol. I also realized that even though I don’t miss that part of 2017 at all, I do value my individual relationships with them. I prefer meeting them individually. I’ve actually met ‘Firmonnell’ a lot. We actually each have really different relationships with each other.

I also noticed that since my merry absence….they’ve all got skinnier and they’ve all got naughtier…

I absolutely LOVE IT.

These girls areย  living FOR THEM, right now and nothing makes me *sizzle* more!

LIFE IS ABOUT CELEBRATING YOU, YOUR CHOICES, OWNING YOUR PATH AND GETTING HAPPY.

People waste so much time ‘thumb twiddling’ and being concerned over what others think.ย These girls are hilarious. The amount of times I heard…

‘I can do what I want’

…almost made my spine tingle. Lol. I’m a ‘do what I want’ kinda kitten. That’s why we adore each other.ย  I love listening to all their drama. It’s my favourite. And they’d listen to mine, all day, every day! But, right now….my life just seems so easy and peaceful.

Their drama trumps mine ‘errday.’

There was a moment when ‘Hustle’ (who looked beautiful) was perched on the edge of the sofa, that I was sat on, wondering whether the drink, she was drinking, was hers and said…

‘So, how IS everything you? What’s going on?’

And I didn’t know what to say….? And I don’t know why I didn’t know what to say? I just didn’t? Everything’s kinda really great right now and i think I daren’t say it out loud, in case ‘The Gods’ hear and fuck me over.

I’m doing what I love….and it’s accidentally going really well. I think, I’m still safe with that.

I didn’t really do much that night, I just chilled and chatted, because i’d rolled off a hectic week. I ‘caught up’ and stood with wine….But it was great to see everyone, and celebrate ‘Fairytale’ turning 30.

I have some great chick friends. I’m lucky. We make our own choices…Laugh about them. Cry about them…But value each others ways…

Then Sunday morning…

I woke up….

I rolled over in my sheets, grabbed my phone and scrolled through my emails. (I love naked, bed sheeted, kitten rolls, in the morning…as it means, if you have time to do them…. you’re not in a rush…)

Found a random one with ‘Noticed you at Electric Theatre ..Proposal’ย asย the subject title….

So, I clicked on it…and it read…

‘Chrissie

Tonight I noticed you at the electric theatre on a number of occasions at the birthday party.

I crossed eyes with you at the bar, while I was on a break between sets with the band – hope you had a good night out?

Little did I realize until now, that I was looking at a model/blogger from round the corner.

Your blogs are a really good read at first glance …….it says in your blogs that you believe in love at first sight ……well…….?

As they say in Yorkshire , if ya don’t ask ya don’t get…….so I’d be intrigued to know if you noticed me or just wondered why the hell was a guy staring at you…..but I guess you are used to that when you stand out like a sore thumb!

X’

Now, I’ll be honest…and say that I don’t really recall ‘catching eyes’ at the bar, with anyone? All I remember at the bar, where the girls going on about ‘shots per text.’ But I do remember, looking at one of the guys who played in the band, whilst I was on the dance floor, because I was sure that I knew him from somewhere, but couldn’t figure out where?

However, I do love that you sent me that message, as that took a great deal of Goolies….and it’s romantic, it’s sweet. Now, I don’t know whether you read the blog or not? But if you are reading this today…whizz me another email…and we can absolutely go for a drink…ย  a ‘friendly’ as I like to call them. That took loads of balls, and probably a few drinks…and even though I can’t remember the moment…I do actually appreciate your message.

Then as all girls do….the ‘morning after’ group ‘Whatsapp’ was going mental.

First Mel thanked ‘Fairytale’ for inviting her…After moderately bollocking me for ‘sloping off’ without saying bye. ( I love sloping off.) We all told ‘Fairytale’ how great she was and hoped she had a lovely time….Then I plonked in the above email….

…and it all went down hill from there?

‘Who was that?’

Me: ‘I don’t know? I fell in love and didn’t even realise?’

Hustle: ‘I can actually remember most of my night for a change.’

(I had stated that night, that it hasn’t started until ‘Hustle’ has skidded across the floor on her arse.)ย 

‘It was good. I have no beer fear! Lol’

Fairytale: ‘I’m sweating worse than an otters pocket.. and I can’t stop thinking about your bum hole Chrissie.’

Hustle: ‘Chrissie’s bum hole? What did I miss?’

Me: ‘Was I not in the same place as everyone last night? I don’t remember falling in love or my bum hole?’

Fairytale: ‘I’ll say one word…Jonny.’

(Jonny is Fairytale’s boyfriend.)ย 

Me: ‘Jonny, did me up the bum? This just gets worse…’

Double B: ‘Hahaha, I honestly have no idea what’s going on here?’

Fairytale: ‘Jonny pinched my phone…Lol’

Me: ‘It’s too early for this shit…What is going on???’

Then I got saved, because as soon as I placed my phone down on my bed side table, it *pinged* again….

(Whatsapp…Other friends….)

Kate: ‘SO!!! No date happened last night. Lol. BUT I ended up having a date with a different guy in the end by accident!!

Me: ‘Omg! As If. I need to know everything…’

Kate: ‘Lol…What you up too? Meet you at The Carelton in 10…?

Spring Cleans, Hollywood & Really Dodgy Fetish Parties ;)

I’m feeling all boated and knackered today, but i’ve got in the bag. My ‘Va Vooms’ on fire and because I feel like the busiest bee in all of the beautiful land…(Bee’s never look that busy to me, they just look like they try and SOUND busy, yet really they just fly around stinging people, whilst being stripey…) However, yes…I am busy with ‘the niggly bits’ the bits I despise. The bits where it comes in really handy, if OTHER PEOPLE do them for you. ๐Ÿ™‚

*PLEASE HELP! HELP AWAY!*

And because I hate all things ‘niggly’ and it’s not wine o clock yet….I stayed really focused and distracted myself ๐Ÿ™‚ by not concentrating, Googling bikinis and instead cleaned three rooms of my home from top to bottom, listening to ‘Little Mix’ in pyjama bottoms and a bra, and making work calls.

If I ever decide to clean my home that intensely from top to bottom…You know that I must be trying to bury my head in the glittery sand. I once threw out a pan and bought a new one simply because I couldn’t be arsed to clean it. ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s like the most boring distraction in the world ever. It’s lame. Don’t do it. Sleeping with Greek men in togas is a good distratcion…Seeing what Michelle Keegan looks like in a bikini is a distraction…Cocktails…Friends, Banter….ANYTHING.

However, Scrubbing and hoovering is NOT! It’s shit. I only did it to burn extra ‘cos i’m bloated’ calories. But now i feel like I need 20 wines…

I have a really busy next 2 weeks…maybe 3 weeks…It’s jammed and at the same time i’m armed with The Wunna Babies. (Ruby squeezed all my Johnsons Baby Lotion of the pink bottle and and filled it up with water. That was fun. That was great! What a beautiful child. Didn’t at all make me want to RIP MY **&&*&*$$ยฃ”””” hair out. ๐Ÿ™‚

Like the time when my LA guy roommate kept trying my clothes on in secret, when I was younger. I’d lay them all out, ready for a night on the razzle. I’d come back, after skipping off to buy wine, to find them inside out, worn…and smelling of sweaty boy. Lol. But much better than the time, I walked back in after late night Hollywood drinks…and found 7 grown up males, in pretend NAPPIES/DIAPERS, drinking beer and dancing in the living room….

I walked in with my best friend, who’s now a really successful film producer..(Good switch from ‘Party Boy’) and all I could hear was them panicking and shouting…

‘FUCK!!! DUDE!!!!! SHE’S FUCKING BACK ALREADY! DON’T LET HER GO UPSTAIRS.’

But me being Me…It weirdly didn’t bother me. Lol. I found it really funny..Plus, nothing is WORSE than having a secret fetish party and having a human, (who’s not part of the fun) *surprise* walk in…Let alone ‘surprise walk in’ and ALSO make you feel SHITTY… (Yet they were in diapers? Lol. I’m ridiculously laid back , when it comes to ‘taboo’ behaviour. I’ve seen so much…that that wasn’t anything really.

Me: ‘My feet hurt, are there anymore drinks…Why are you pretending to be an octopus? I’m going upstairs…’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘That’s Chrissie W’…’

Roomie: ‘Wunna…Yeah. She’s my roommate.’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘AW! FUCKSAKE DUDE!!!’

Roomie: ‘Don’t let her go upstairs! Oh! Hi, Matt!”

(That was my bestie.)

‘Chrissie, you’ve got some mail and that dude you went on a date with…that weird Bodyguard one…dropped your stuff back… Like a belt?’

Me: ‘Does it say *DIRT* on it? Is it that diamante one? He hasn’t even fixed the *Y* on it, has it…What an idiot. I hate dates… I’m just not gonna speak to him..’

And this was all when i was in my mid 20’s, and whilst my roommate was in a pretend diaper…and he was a lawyer. ๐Ÿ™‚

HAHAHA. (Sorry, I’m just pissing myself….. My friend Matt & I did so much better for ourselves…Lol)

Upstairs was awful. Lol. Even I was shocked. I’ve told the story before and it IS embedded in this website…

But yeah…Lol…What I was actually going to say, is that now i’ve told the story…I noticed that the whole random fetish party didn’t bother me at all, yet the guy who decided to try on my clothes, whilst I was out, behind my back, BEFORE I HAD EVEN WORN THEM……

PISSED ME OFF.

So, it must be the little things that wind me up.

But anyway, thank you everyone for reading my blog! I’ve received so many inbox messages from literally all over the world, from ladies, men, girls, guys and saying that they’re loving it, hooked or have just had a first time ‘peek.’

Like ‘Trigg’ had a first time peek yesterday, because he couldn’t follow quite obvious instructions. Lol.

Trigg: ‘I didn’t know I could swipe up?’

Me: ‘What? Even though it says SWIPE UP??’

And a guy from Vienna messaged me this morning saying that he read yesterdays blog and loved it and that HE actually used to work right by me in LA, by The Grove. He has this wonderful Youtube channel about his travels, so I’m gonna check that out today.

Plus, I love that all Ladies, love a ‘school mums’ blog. Unfortunately, I went with diaper ridden fetish party today…But hey…It’s all about balance, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

I had a moment yesterday, where I stopped a second after being rushed out of a meeting and into a car, where I *paused* and got to chill for a moment….

I sent this message…

‘Missing ya.’

They replied with a..

‘Miss u to xx’

Then life scuttled us along…..

I’ve got lots going on, shoots, influencey things, I’ve got to fit in the time to commit to filming, flights to Spain, meetings, Motherhood…and my friends….

In this Chapter, my newest one…I am being a really shit friend. I went from having all the time in the world, to having no time…Or having to prioritse my time. Plus, I have ‘powers above’ who make me hinder to sacrifices. But I just have to do it. It’s work and i’m building…

But this weekend, it’s my chick friend ‘Fairytales’ birthday drinks…So I’ll be celebrating it with her at The Electric Theatre….

I actually almost forgot, because I had fittings and flights and all sorts of busy mayhem…But Mel reminded me on Monday….I love ‘People Reminders.’ And just like that…I’ll be there!

The Career’s going really well. I’m feeling really confident right now…

I’m gonna SMASH IT.

Cue: FIRE

Mums Night, Wine & Get Me Stepping…

 

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How beautiful is the weather today!!! It’s gorgeous! The suns out, I’m feeling a glimpse of Springtime and well Life just feels dandier, doesn’t it, when we are treated to a jolly bit of ‘shine.’

In fact, i’m kinda glad it was sunny, because I bumped into Keiran (Juniors Dad) during the school run this morning. He was dropping Junior off and for some reason today (it’s his birthday today, but he’s a Jehovahs Witness now and therefore doesn’t celebrate it anymore.. I just didn’t mention birthday anything.)

But he just needed to talk to me today. Not even about anything….He just wanted to chat, talk life, the kids and weirdly reminisce in a carpark…as I waved at other mums.

Keiran: ‘Junior said that you’d been crying. Are you okay?’

Me: ‘When? I’m completely fine. He totally made that up. I haven’t cried at all. Anyway, i’ve got to go..’

Keiran: ‘No..wait….’

I don’t know? I think he must’ve just missed me today, or felt a bit lonely. However, even though i’m happy that we ‘co parent’ Junior, the best way we know how…To me…he’s my EX husband..and it’s done. Years and years ago, there were so many opportunities where he could’ve made it right…but he couldn’t be arsed to.

Luckily that was just how life was supposed to play out for me….

Years flew by, I loved being a single mum, I felt the happiest I had ever been…My career went from strength to strength..and NEVER in a million, trillion, gzillion, years… even if it was drenched in wine and came with kittens, cold hard cash, with a cherry on top, would I ever even consider getting back with Keiran.

It’s done. I like that we only ‘co parent’ now. But I’m polite…So I took in the sunshine and chatted for 30 minutes before zooming off…

I’m in a good mood today. Yesterday ended up being fabulous. I bumped into my friends Kate and Hairdresser Claire. It was kinda did that I did, because they had wine and I had managed to accidentally get myself wedged into a funeral party.

Don’t ask.

I just sorted of looked up all ‘dolly eyed‘ and found a funeral around by accident…

20 minutes later…Kate & Hairdresser Claire rock up and sweep me to one side, as they contemplated the ‘Hunters Chicken.’

Me: ‘I’m off to Spain soon and I have to look good in a flipping bikini.’

Kate: ‘You always post selfies in no clothes…You already look good.’

Me: ‘No. I mean I have to look really good.’

Claire: ‘Well you’re doing really well with that Peroni in front of you. Lol.’

Then we chatted about glamourously trashing hotels, how Claire should’ve been my ‘in Spain’ hairdresser, how all parties should have tattooists and how Kate still needs cigs even though she’s vaping. Lol

I learnt a bit more about Kate yesterday. I learnt that under her tough sassy banter…She is VERY MUCH a girl.. (I’m the same way. That’s why I could spot it.)

Then we talked about stalking people and ran off to do school runs…

I love being a girl.

Rushing, gathering children, sushi and madness occurred then. Yet, I still felt like the happiest human in the world? I just got on with it and loved it.

I was excited yesterday because that evening, a group of Mum’s (our children are all in the same class at school,) I think there were about 10 of us? (I’m shit at counting. It takes too long.) Anyway, we had all arranged to meet at Ego for 7.30pm for dinner and a couple drinks.

I LOVE MEETING NEW PEOPLE. I’m highly social. I find it fun. And like I said, we see each other daily, yet just in passing, with a child in tow or a dash to work sprint on…We’ve always made ‘pleasantries’ but we’ve never really created an opportunity to get to know one another.

Rupert’s Mum did last night…and with what felt like a single *Blink* ….Day had now turned to Night, it was around 7.11pm…and I found myself with ‘Miss Murphy’ squatted down, outside Ego rummaging through handbags like savages, to see if we could AT ALL, in ALL OF THEย  ENTIRE LAND… find a lighter. Lol.

YOU CAN NEVER FIND ONE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY NEED ONE.

‘Can you find yours?’

‘No.’

‘Wait, I think I have one in the car…’

‘No…Hang on…i’ve found one…’

Plus, I ruined her phone conversation too…even though she very politely told me I didn’t.

It was already a fun night and it hadn’t even begun…

Unfortunately for me, I thought I was early, but by the time i walked in…everyone was already there, sat comfortably, with drinks….. waiting!

Me: ‘Oh! Sorry! I thought I was early. Lol’

Miss.Murphy: ‘Have you all been waiting a really long time?

‘Nooooo….’

Miss. Murphy: ‘So, you have then…Lol.’

We were all shown to our table and just like that, these ladies who I see every single day, yet never really find chance to speak to, all did dinner and that means a lot because we’re all busy women, some career women, some who dash around holding the family together. We’re all ages, all sorts, all types, from all different walks of lives.

Our children go to a nearby Private school (infact the school I went to as a child) and well, there’s only 10 children in their entire year…Meaning our kids are gonna grow up to be really close….So we might as well have white wine spritzers and get to know one another…As we have YEARS of our babies growing…

It was such fun, yet civilized, evening and great banter, chitter chatter, laid back life talk and a great night of just opening up and letting other ladies, at the table peek into YOUR life a bit more…because it’s always ‘steady’ at first, isn’t it?

Karen: ‘Do your kids do any out of school activites…’

Me: ‘No. Ruby asked if she could join Brownies and I just said *NO* lol.’

Miss.Murphy: ‘They eat out a lot…. That’s what they do. Lol.ย  I said No to Beavers.

There were talks about work, bald pigs, camper vans, wood worm, beavers, money, horses, great places to dine, ice skating, boat hotels, botox, boarding school and late teas…

(Unless you have a child in the school, you will not understand the JOY of the schools ‘Late tea’.)

Me: ‘By the time they’re get to the first year of Senior school, they’ll all be boarders, even though we all only live up the road. Lol.’

We’re all really lucky! And our babies are really lucky. We’re all really different. But a great set of mums!

I like a group of successful women. It makes me smile. So it was actually wonderful to sit, banter and sip white wine spritzers with them…

It was actually a breath of fresh air. Everyone was really honest. Everyone laughed. Some were loud. Some were quiet. Other’s wished for more wine and as I scanned the table, I was really happy that we all, for a moment, valued each other enough to take the time to do dinner. ( I mean, today I have a stack of work to get through. Another Mum has three different teas to arrange. Another Mum has a flight to catch for work this morning..)ย 

Yet, we made it to dinner… (Probably because we knew there was wine.)

I can’t wait to do it again….

Great night!

I’ve got to dash because i’m doing my Sport Relief steps today throughout work, and i’ve been sat on my arse for the last 30 minutes…instead of stepping. (You need to Download the Sport Relief App today and start having each step you take count towards the nations ‘Billion Step ‘Challenge,’ to help change lives. Joe Wicks is doing it. Davina’s doing it. Man U are doing…Everyone’s doing it. I’ve only taken 712 steps today. Lol.

Godda Go! Godda Go! I’ve got to arrange my flights and bikinis for Spain. (Business…Not just pleasure.)

Lots of love,

Chrissie (I always look moody on my ‘no clothes’ pics.)

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Flashbacks, Fifty Shades & My Flipping Love Life

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I keep doing this thing where I wake up at around 3am in the morning, because I can’t sleep? I sleep naked and so I’ll moan that i’m chilly, step out of bed, not remember to grab a tshirt and instead unplug my phone (priorities)ย  and just get back into bed. Then i’ll start to Google everything. Literally anything. Lol. Before I get back into bed, I’ll look in the mirror to see if I look okay, whilst it’s still dark, yet turning into morning??? Why do I do that!!?! No one’s there but ME!!!???!! I’ll Google search until I’m tired. Am I a lunatic? That seems a pretty safe option. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I did watch ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ before I went to bed….which probably didn’t help, as I have to psycho analyse everything that torments me…:) I dreamt about it all night and then found myself Googling ‘Sadists’ incase I knew any? Lol. Everyone I know is now a sadist or a psychopath. That’s what I came up with ๐Ÿ™‚ and then Iย  just fell asleep, until my kitten woke me at six clock, via the fine art of paw tapping, to make sure I was up to do get Ruby ready for school.

All the way to the school run, life moments kept flashbacking at me, during my drive. My mind went back almost 10 years and for a second, it shot to a time, where I was dating Boyband Jonny, it was late afternoon, we were having a difficult time in our relationships, yet I didn’t know why? He was expressive because he was a creative. Yet, closed off emotionally, because…I’m gonna go with….he was an Aquarian? Lol. (Aquarian’s always find me.)

Anyway, (and this was almost a decade ago) i stepped into a black cab in the middle of Camden, where he was living, which would take me back to Kings Cross, so I could shimmie back onto Northern Soil…and before my cab left, he came running down the street, in his skinny jeans, up to the window and passed me a note. I smiled, waved and the car drove away.

During my journey, I opened the folded hand written note and it read…

‘Dear Chrissie,

I know I never show it…and i’m sorry for that. But I want you to know that whenever i’m with you, my heart lights up.’

(It’s strange that he could never tell me, and had to write it. But I appreciated that anyway, because any expression is good expression, right?)

Then my *flashback* stopped… I was still en route to Ruby’s school drop off. (Boyband Jonny is actually gay now and exceedingly happy and settled. He may not have become the Boyband Superstar that he always wanted…But he openly found his happy place, which not only is MORE important…Yet also makes me beam.)ย 

But anyway, I was driving away, ‘Happy as Larry,’ chatting to Ruby in the car…I get to the big Ackworth roundabout and my mind begins to race again and this time it takes me to this time last year….

‘The Swirl.’ย 

It took me to a moment where we were both laid in a bed…his bed, everything was peaceful and it was probably around 11pmish. We’d just watched ‘Britains Got Talent’ and then a round of ‘Celeb Juice,’ before showers in separate bathrooms and night time. I remember him looking at me, saying ‘Things with you are just easy… and after I agreed, we fell asleep that night holding hands.

Then my mind *WHIZZED* me back, almost like it didn’t want me to settle upon that thought. It took me to earlier that day, where ‘The Swirl’ and I were sat on a pale lemon sofa…(which he kept assuring me he didn’t pick..)

‘It was already here when I moved in…’

It made me notice how particular & creative he actually was. (He’s an Aquarian also! They find me.) I noticed a lot of things about him that afternoon…and I loved that, because I adore nothing more than learning about people….simply by observing them… merrily. I’m like a sponge. I’ll take in EVERYTHING.

But anyway, my mind took me to us being sat on this sofa together. We were chilling and watching tv. I made fun of something. He made fun of it also and almost innocently we both burst into this silly banter of laughter. I remember looking at him when he laughed, which made me smile.ย  I also remember him looking at me when I was laughing, yet when I turned to face him, (as I could feel his eyes on me,) he turned his head away quickly.

Then my *Flashbacks* stopped.

Just like that i was at Ruby’s school…and my normal day had begun.

What is going on with my mind, right now? Both happy moments. Both loving memories.

Yet, I have noticed in love, that I am always in the same place.

I achieve everything work wise. I’m a great mum…I’ve developed with Ruby & Junior threefold. I adore being Mum.It’s not always easy, but I can do it on m own and it has been my greatest gift…my life saver. I dance to New Chapters always because i’m not scared of them. I’m not scared of anything. I’m irrepressible. (My Geography teacher used to always say that about me at school. Lol.)

I’m a life warrior and probably one of the most emotionally together chicks I know! It’s almost like nothing can sort of break me down, because i’ve grown so much, after failing at shit, winning at shit, being broken, yet getting back up each time, with a SMILE ON MY FACE. I feel unbreakable. It’s powerful. It radiates from me…and in a way, i wish every woman felt like that. ( My close chick friends are actually all like that…Well, most of them anyway. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

During my time in Hollywood, I went through SO much. I had the best time definitely, but. I was in my 20’s growing up in LA. There were both good and bad moments, that I never have EVER told anyone anything about…because i’ve never wanted to. But i’ve experienced life and walked lots of different paths. At 20 it was hard. At 37, it’s now such a blessing.

That’s why I always say it is MUCH MUCH BETTER for someone to come into success, fortune, or fame as a 30 something or older, than it is as a young one….As like with love, you can handle it with a better perspective without getting carried away with the bullshit. (I never get carried away with the bullshit…even if it looks like I am, or have. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

However, when it comes to my love life…Like I said earlier…I am always in the same place…

..and it’s been that way since I was 19.

I don’t get it?

I KNOW what I want and I don’t always get it. (And i’ll never just settle.) I know what I do NOT want and that is anything that is emotionally challenging…Things should come easily….At 37, I don’t want to be dealing with issues….I just want to gallop around to the sound of happiness and true love.

I believe in boys chasing girls…The ‘old school’ tactics. It shows that they’re confident and it’s not dipped in arrogance. It shows that they’re not scared of love. It’s easy and uncomplicated.

I believe in honest expression..without that you don’t have anything. You might as well be a cardboard cut out. (I once watched one of my guy friends, make potential girlfriends *jump through hoops* to win his affection. He expected them to guess how he was feeling? I never understood why? It taught me a lot about him. He had his own issues. I accepted him for who he was, as he was one of my guy besties and I didn’t ever have to date him. Lol. Yet I always hoped those chicks quit ‘jumping.‘ He wasn’t THAT MUCH of a prize. ๐Ÿ™‚

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I believe in love. I always believe in love. And I hope you do tooo!

So let’s hope that a decade from now….when i’m flipping 47. I won’t be telling you that i’m still in the same place…

But if I am…I’m sure i’ll still be happy…. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Chrissie x

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For Love Or Money?

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It’s Monday and i’m feeling great after some much needed family time. I spent my weekend with my Mum and my babies and it was absolute bliss. Everything seemed so simple, so whole and what life was about. I’m a huge family girl and I didn’t make my ‘Mothers Day’ about me, I made it about my own Mama, because without her, I don’t even know how I’d survive life.

If you follow my ‘socials,’ you will have heard me gush about my Mum…and every single inch of the ‘gush’ was totally from my heart. I’m not someone who doesn’t appreciate people when it’s too late. I make the most of my time and my memories with them, whilst I still have them by my side. People forget to do that!

I needed that. Things are really busy and you can lose yourself in it. Last year, I had a bunch of chicks around me constantly…every day…which kept me pretty grounded….Now, there’s just me…and i’m holding onto those I cherish with bear hugs.

I’m happy. I’m really happy. And I don’t know why people don’t go for what makes them happy? Yesterday I was chatting my one of my guy friends, who’s madly in love with a girl, who has absolutely placed him in ‘friend zone.’ If you don’t want to be in ‘friend zone,’ get out of it. Don’t just sit there twiddling ya thumbs, go for what you want boldly. We girls love that, provided it’s done correctly.

If I was guy, I’d make sure the girl KNEW I wasn’t ‘just a buddy’ and i’d do it right. We find that hot…Unless, there is not an inkling in us, that sings chemistry….Then the zone really is ‘just friends.’

Like, I appreciate it when men are forward..(in the correct way) as i’m not used to it. I’m used to dudes, saying a lot, yet not following through, or just opting to be terrified, which i’ll nurture, yet not really adore. I’ll just assume they don’t care, because i’m a diva. Lol

Go for it.

Go for anything you ‘heart.’ You’re a long time dead.

Girl…Job..Whatever…You really can do it! You’re one decision away from making a difference…

(EWW! I’ve just split water on my laptop. This is why water is bad for you. )

I’m working hard, I’m doing the best I can. I’m just not worrying about stuff, because it doesn’t do you any good. I’m losing weight on my Herbalife challenge, I’m thinking ghosts are in my home, as my wall mounted mirror fell off the wall last night, mid creepy dream and I’m loving every inch of just being me.

(The ghost mirror thing was hilarious. It’s actually my Grandmother’s birthday today, she passed away recently…and I had a dream about her. I woke up from my dream and my mirror fell off my wall. There’s just the kids and I at home, so I always have to be brave…Hence why I need to marry a brave human…and I had to wing it like I was so ‘champion,’ topless, blind, because I didn’t have my contact lenses in and like it was nothing…YET IT FELT LIKE EVERYTHING! I was fucking TERRIFIED.)

I might not be perfect, but on the whole i reckon i’m pretty decent. It may seem like i’m a nuisance, because i’m delivered that way. Yet, my moral code of conduct, is pretty coolio…

I did have a ‘sort of’ friend, moan at me, before the weekend. I hate that. I hate negative.ย  I don’t really know this person properly, yet, they wanted to do business with me and I simply answered with a..

‘NO’

..AND THAT was because I once agreed to meet them for a meeting and they couldn’t be bothered to show up. Yet, instead offered me the opportunity to date them? Erm….?

I started to do wellish…and all of a sudden they popped out of nowhere calling me..

‘Stuck up now.’

(Because I wouldn’t re..meet them and/or date them)

Please roll all the eyes in the world here.

I’m not stuck up. I just don’t have time for bad manners, because I wouldn’t do that to someone without good reason. They didn’t have a reason…just ‘nonsense.’ I don’t swag with nonsense. In my 20’s i might have. But ‘get lost,’ i’m 37 now. I’m a fully grown ‘W.O.M.A.N.’

LET’S NOT BE SILLY.

They may feel sore right now, but that’s not how life, let alone business…. works.

He was all..

‘You’re not how you used to be?’

Really? That’s funny, because you didn’t even know the ‘used to be‘ version of me? I’m confused??

I simply answered with a..

‘NO, I’M NOT.’

๐Ÿ™‚

Sometimes, you just have to whop out ‘bitch’ mode, because people will often…take the PISS.

Luckily, I shimmied into the most wonderful weekend ever and everything was back to bliss.

ย I feel lucky.

I had a great meeting today…Here’s snippets..

‘But, what about the brand or the money side of it…’

‘I’m not arsed about that bit. I am who I am. I don’t want to meander from who I am. I just want to enjoy what i’m doing, writing my blog and anything that comes from that will just come merrily…’

‘I’m glad you said that… You’re like the most branded brand that is still human.’

‘If they don’t want to collaborate that’s their loss…because one day they might…and I’ll be really busy then… I don’t like people like that! If i want to work with someone, date someone, anything with someone, I know straight away…’

‘That’s fine. Relax!’

‘I’d rather just inspire…and whatever comes, comes….I’m already doing well…I’m happy… And fuck it might be hard, but I’m made for it…I’m sorted…I’m fine. Whatever’s meant to happen…will. And that’s coming from a chick who’s a mum of two. They have school, life and all sorts to have covered. I don’t get why we’re muddling over money…It’s shit!’

The best businesses (in my mind) are built on love not decimal places and percentages. There is nothing more powerful than your passion for something.

I also read a title to an online article today that began with..

‘FIVE THINGS TO BE AFRAID OF….’

DON’T BE AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

Who writes a post like that and calls it inspiring!

You can do, say and be whatever and whoever you want or wish to be. Even when you think everything is shit…it’s not…It’s usually..just a temporary change, or adjustment into a new chapter. And it IS HARD and we all play like it’s not..But you can get through anything, because that’s what we’re made to do!

If you need to drink through it, drink. If you need to dance through it, dance. If you just need quiet time. Hush. Do whatever you want…because at the end of the day…That what not only makes you you, but also make you powerful!

 

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Because I love a Hero….

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Are you freezing too? What is this crazy ass, snow doing? Now, we know I don’t like the cold. It makes my nose runny and that I assure you is something that can never be well accessorized. I had to make the scariest drive yesterday, where I kinda just skidded into oncoming traffic. Lol. Then Ruby and Junior had a ‘snow day’ off school (AFTER I DROVE ALL THE WAY THERE Lol), followed by that awful moment when they (in fact all kids)ย  turn around and shout..

‘LET’S PLAY IN THE SNOW!’

It’s always something that you feel you should do, even though you really don’t want to…But you do it anyway, don’t you? Just to see them smile… ๐Ÿ˜‰

We built snowmen (that didn’t build,) they made snow angels, (and looked devastated,) we had snow ball fights (Junior cried) and Ruby chose to crawl all the way home like snow dog. I was literally screaming at her to ‘PLEASE GET UP, COS YOU’RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A REALLY BAD PARENT…LOL‘….But she just kept ‘woofing‘ at me and saying she was a ‘SNOW DOG.‘ ๐Ÿ™‚

Image may contain: one or more people, snow, plant, tree, outdoor and natureย Image may contain: one or more people, snow, outdoor and nature

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(The other evening, when we did our ‘Mummy/Daughter’ dinner at Ego, she had a whole conversation with me about my love life and demanded that she saw their FEET first, because it was vital that I did not ever marry a man with ‘rubbish feet.’ )

‘Honestly, Mum…can we Google his feet, pleeease?’

I couldn’t ‘picture take’ yesterday because firstly, it got ‘snowed off’ and secondly I am UTTERLY rubbish at shooting in the cold. I can’t stand it. I can’t get into it. I lose my swagger. I lose my ‘ooh laa.‘ I won’t do it.ย  And you have to feel comfortable when you’re on a shoot.

So instead, I *selfied* my snow walk….Who knew you’d all be that excited by it? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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(There’s me moaning about Ruby crawling like a ‘snow dog’ home and I’m tottering along in the snow with my bra out! Lol)

Even my chick friend saw it on snapchat and said,

‘Know wonder you’re bloody freezing. Most people wear a top out in the snow.’

But whatever, you’ve godda keep it sexy don’t you! And I’m certainly one of those girls. I didn’t even think that I looked like a plonker either? I mean, I would’ve done it WITHOUT THE BRA, if I thought it was respectful enough around the people passing by.

A bra is odd to viewers, but acceptable in the cold. A nipple is a whole different game. And my child was crawling home, like a ‘snow dog.’

What we must look like… is beyond me!!

I’m glad we did it though and i’m glad I have half exotic children, that prefer the poolside heat and swimwear, to the snow. They cried after 10 minutes because they wanted to be in the warm. ๐Ÿ™‚

YIPPPPPPPPPPPPEEE!

But thank you for all the love I received for my ‘snow walk’ selfies. I appreciate it. And do know, before you all start. I was zipped up when the children were in front of me, yet it wouldn’t have made a difference, as they see me in my bra, or with my boobs out all the time. We don’t have body hangups in our family. We’re swag. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I will tell you what was cute on my walk…The fact that I saw old gentlemen, young men and all sorts of others, shoveling the drives clear, for their wives, running all the errands…sort of really taking care of their ‘honey pies’…They were just being proper MEN. That was so cute. They were hand holding and guarding their families. They were keeping them safe from danger, yet still managing to have a laugh in the snow.

What a turn on! I love a HERO.

(I prefer to be warm, but definitely love a hero.)

Like I said to my friend ‘Tomfri’ the other day, when we passed each other in a pub car park (It was The Carleton.)

‘I love it when boys can do boys things…’

(We had some brief conversation about him laying his own floors down. Lol. He was with a mate and they had ladders wedged in their car. It’s the first manly thing ‘Tomfri’s’ ever tried to do or something? But that’s impressive.)

Boys are attractive when they have an emotional softness…yet at the same time, can do BOY THINGS. (That’s quite sexist. But It’s really how I feel! Lol)

Like I’d LOVE TO BE MARRIED TO THE PERFECT MAN, who can do things like ‘lay floors down,’ put a new light bulb in, do the bins and all that shit, that we girls hate. Lol. He’d have to be stylish and ‘cool as’ though and enjoy both the FINER AND THE SIMPLE things in life. Like, he couldn’t have a no teeth….It just wouldn’t work.

I’ve already bored myself with that paragraph.

Chick friend: ‘She wants you to be fit. She loves eye candy, because she’s shallow. Lol’

I’m not shallow! I’m really not. Just vain. We’re going down the wrong path!

WAIT!

What i’m trying to say is that I’m actually great at doing ‘GIRL THINGS...’

*WINK HERE*

So, I enjoy a gent who is equivalently GREAT… at doing BOY THINGS…

I have boyish banter, but I am a GIRLY GIRL. Don’t get it twisted. I’m a glamour puss. A kitten! Sometimes a bit of ‘diva’ the say? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Aww, my friend ‘Sykes’ is just messaging me on Facebook…

Sykes: ‘I adore reading the comments on your photos. How you have the patience to say something nice back is literally inspiring. Lol. Someone told me I had a nice arse at the gym the other day, and I had him thrown out. I presume it’s your business acumen that drives you. Bravo Wunna.’

(I love Sykes. I went to school with her and she’s hilarious. )

I think i’m just used to it. I hear it all day, every day….and I don’t mind it. No, in fact, I do mind it when they’re rude, because i’m feisty…They sometimes need cold showers or slaps.ย  But if you put a suggestive picture up…that is whats going to happen. I don’t mind sexy banter…I just don’t like it when people are disrespectful and cross the Wunna line.

Yet, on the whole, everyone’s doing the whole ‘you’re beautiful, you’re sexy’ย thing.

That’s not so bad. I’m quite laid back by nature. Worse things have happened to me then that…Lol.

PLUS, I try and make time for people, who make time for me….and they do…every day….I whole heartedly believe in the art of ‘what goes around come around.’ I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I didn’t appreciate the fact that they’re helping ‘Wunna Land’ sail.

I can’t remember what I wanted to tell you now?

Thank you those of you who are sending me products to ‘influence’ย ( I always find it really exciting and I can’t wait to sort through them all) and thank you to the gents who have been signing up to my ‘Onlyfans’ account. (Onlyfans.com/chrissiewunna) I’m glad you have a ‘home’ now. Lol. 41 pictures are up on there right now…and 4 more went up today. It’s certainly the place for the ones of you who aren’t bothered about reading the blog and just want to see the ‘sexier’ versions of my pictures. Lol.

ย I say ENJOY! (Copy and paste the above Onlyfans link and subscribe yourself happy.)

I hope this snow is nearly over. Yesterday I felt trapped and house bound…It was a nightmare. I was literally pulling my hair out…The kids were going mental and..

I had run out of flipping wine!

I was gonna brave the blizzards, just for a bit of wine! Yet for once, I went all sensible and left merriment to others!

BEING SNOWED IN YESTERDAY IS SO DULL. Especially if you have no booze or no fun. ๐Ÿ˜‰

What else did I need to tell you?

Oh yeah. I’m gonna be changing my diet, in my quest for a more delicious body….

I’ll tell you all about it shortly…I just need to get everything set up!

Chrissie

ps/ Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2,444,877 Views Later….

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Happy Sunday! I’m having a manic weekend of birthday celebrations for my little girl Ruby. We take celebrations really seriously in Wunna land …Meaning, if there’s any excuse to have a good old *knees up*…WE WILL. That’s what life is about!

She’s manage to survive 7 delightful years on this planet, with ME as her Mother, bestie and life guide…and GOSH, I couldn’t love her any more! I cant even describe how I feel. She’s my absolute treasure. And yeah, she’s a bit sassy…But I expect anything that enters the world, via my ‘lady parts’ to have a bit of ‘ooh laa’ in their system. I’m surprised she didn’t rock out with a 2 for 1 cocktails in her hand.

However…ANYWAY…

…There’s a story to Ruby and her shimmie onto this Earth Ball.

SEVEN YEARS AGO…(It was my daughters actual birthday, yesterday….) I was an itv2 show with Peaches Geldof… being interviewed, because as I had tinkered off the ‘Paris Hiltons BBF’ show a year before…I had fallen pregnant…and I had chosen to be a ‘glammy mammy.’ย 

I can’t remember who was around me or on that show??? But, I do remember that big furry animals, Mark Wright, and Dom Jolly, were also being interviewed.

It was my ACTUAL DUE DATEย and ITV had paid for a TAXI to pick me up from my doorstep in Yorkshire and DRIVE ME ALL THE WAY to the studio doors in London, to film. It was a 4 hour journey! They’d been on the phone to me all day, because I kept ‘umming’ and ‘arrring…‘about heading to London.

Me: ‘I don’t know if I can come??? I’m not coming down on the train. What if I go into labour!!!! I’m not having a flipping train baby….’

ITV: ‘We’ll sort this out for you…and when you get to the studio, we’ll have a Doctor right there for you, on set. Everything’s sorted. Your hotel’s booked…We’ll get you here. We’ll look after you…Please come. You don’t have too…But COME. Lol.’

And because they couldn’t have looked after me better and because I’d worked with a lot of them recently…The taxi pulled up outside my home…I was 9 months pregnant and IT WAS MY DUE DATE(I had already filmed previously…a couple weeks before the show, for the background story) and dressed in a tracksuit…I jumped in the cab and it drove me all the way to ITV in London….

I arrived there an hour before I was due to film and it was all manic and crazy. I was SO WELL LOOKED AFTER, yet there were bright lights, dressing rooms, green rooms, hair, makeup and outfit changes, chats with the producers, greeting with Peaches and everyone rushing around me to make sure I was okay. In fact, everyone kept trying to feed me. Lol

‘Honestly, I’m fine. I feel like i’ve eaten a whole child.’

The rubbish part about it, was the fact that everyone got to enjoy all the booze in the Green Room…and I got to chill and watch everyone have fun.

*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

Emma, who was also on the Hilton BBF show with me, on ITV2, was being interviewed on the show also. She was actually really lovely that night and rubbing my belly with ‘awws.’ย But then she came out of her interview a bit narked off…

Ems: ‘They properly ripped me to shreds and it’s not fair. It’s alright for Chrissie, because she can take it and it’s what her brand IS! She’s fun and sassy…BUT they always make me look BAD and desperate and always make HER look good!!!!’

She’s a sensitive soul. Really lovely by nature. Yet, certainly get’s ripped into on interviews.

I was stood back stage, getting mic’ed up with my preggo bump before strutting down a giant catwalk for my interview. They were playing my VT to start egging the audience on…I was quite a controversial character during that time of my life…So you either ADORED ME MADLY, or HATED ME! It was kinda ‘showbiz’ at it’s finest.

They played the VT…I’m being filmed in the ‘Loose Women’ dressing room, i’ve having a spray tan, i’m being interviewed and dancing in front of a big red curtain on a dark lit stage and I’m rambling on about how i’d like to turn ‘just living life’ into a business, via my blog (which firstly I DID and secondly…they heavily promoted for me…) I had filmed all of this previously.

Anyway, the audience got all riled up and as they introduced me for my entrance, some of them CHEERED LOUDLY…and the rest of them BOOOOOOOOOOED, like their lungs couldn’t possibly *boo* anymore. ๐Ÿ™‚

A member of the team just looked and me and smiled and showed me my stage entrance…I wet myself laughing and the *boos* looked back at him in a fit of giggles and said,

‘Cheers, you dick. Lol.’

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But Emma was right! I’m just made for it.

Half the audience loved everything that I stood for. Half of the didn’t like the fact that I was there on my due date, because I apparently should have been at home in my pj’s nesting, with my knitting. But i’m a hustler…What can I say? ๐Ÿ˜‰

And I couldn’t have been looked after better. There was literally staff EVERYWHERE, incase my waters broke…ready to run in and save the day.

Secretly…ITV wanted me to go into Labour during my interview.

Me: ‘I know that you want me to go into Labour. Are you gonna start jumping out on me and scaring me, until my waters break?? Haha.’

This was an elevator conversation…Weirdly, I actually felt fine.I just knew Ruby wasn’t ready to come out yet…

Long story short….That night, Ruby didn’t pop out that night….I stayed over the evening in London, got home safely and even chilled a little, doing squats, eating pineapples and scaring myself, at my own mirror image….

When she did decide to *pop* out…It was filmed, moments of it were placed upon Youtube and just like that Ruby’s birth went VIRAL.

Obviously, I didn’t care about how ‘viral’ anything was at that time because I was in labour, having humans squeeze out of me…Yet, you know how you upload a video….(I wanted to look back and watch it, as it was the first time i’d ever had a baby and I also wanted to show Ruby the video when she was older…Plus,ย I live my life publicly, so sharing it on Youtube isn’t that much of an issue for me. It’s my job. Back in the day, it was seen as SO TABOO. Now, everyone’s doing it.)ย 

Anyway…

You know how you upload a video to Youtube and 100 people view it, then 400 people do…and over a 1000 people view it and you get all excited. I missed all that, I was recovering and having babies….

But my Mum walks into my hospital room, with refreshments and her phone in her hand…and says…

‘Chrissie….94,000 people have just watched your birthing video.’

There were loads of little snippets of the birth…Some were on 14,000 views, other’s on 81,000 views, some on 3,000 views and two that were on around 400,0000 views….

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I KNOW!!!

AND JUST LIKE THAT, WITHIN AROUND TWO HOURS….RUBY COMING INTO THE WORLD WENT VIRAL and over….

2,444,877 MILLION PEOPLE had at that point, viewed her arrival…

It was that crackers.

And at the time, loads of people said all sorts. Again, I didn’t care. I was so happy to be a new mum. I didn’t know that so many people would even watch it?

However, of course, due to the popularity of the videos…. with all of the love that came flooding in, I lot of ‘hate’ came a tumbling in also, as apparently it was so inappropriate of me, to upload my time in the labour room.

BLAH

In fact, months afterwards… all the hate’ did kinda make me feel a little weird and judged. I forgot to read the love.’ย 

HOWEVER, let me tell you, YESTERDAY (my mum, dad, brother and the babies, all celebrated Ruby’s birthday at Sundown Adventure Land, which is one of her favourite places and I do want to thank ALL the staff there for being so utterly wonderful to us and making the day so special. We filmed parts of our day for you and placed them on my ‘social’ stories….They’re on my Insta, Facebook and Snapchat. Are you following them?)ย 

ANYWAY….Yesterday…..Ruby and I laid down in bed and I showed her the ITV2 show, and she watched a couple of the videos of her birth, that went viral and….

YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN HER BEAM! She did a face at me, like she couldn’t have felt more important. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Ruby: ‘I can’t even believe that I was that special, that I was on the telly, in your belly and so many people watched me being born! Why do you look like a chipmunk?’

She said it so ‘7 year old’ and excited and understood every single part of it, as I told her the entire story from start to finish. She was fascinated. She threw her head back laughing and she just wanted to know everything about that moment….

So now….If i was ever in a situation where in which I was going to have another child….

I’d 100 PERCENT film it and upload it to Youtube…

I never know why so people are always scared of doing the things that feel so right or feel so normal, in case others judge them…when they’re not harming another single soul?

It’s weird that, isn’t it? So many people LIVE for what other people think! Why????ย  Like, I’m naturally someone who will not care about what ‘Joe Bloggs’ in Kansas thinks about my posts, if I’ve loved every single minute of it or chosen to do deliver it to the world. I’m someone who won’t even care, if someone close to me, a good friend, my mum, or if anyone disagrees with something that I am so passionate about. I’ll do it my way…always….IF, I think i’m right and if not, I’ll ask for help.

So, from my experience, I can tell you…

IN THE LONG RUN…

You will absolutely benefit from doing the things, that are TRUE to what YOU believe is right. The ones that smash it, don’t at all worry about the judgments of others. They go for it.

THEY LIVE THEIR VERSION OF LIFE PROUDLY AND WITHOUT FEAR.ย 

They don’t get caught up in what other people think of them, because they’re secure enough to stand their own ground.

Yet, the main reason why going with what YOU WANT TO DO, always works, is simply because it’s filled with utter love and over flown with your true passion.

When you do things out of love, wonderful things happen….

Don’t get it twisted ๐Ÿ˜‰