Book Tours, Diamonds & Slay Games

‘Right!! The first one out of you two to get a *rock* on it….wins!!!’

Two of my delicious little chick friends are dancing in the ‘let this be forever’ stage of their relationships. A stage that no guy really knows about. Yet all their chick friends hear about!

‘Fairytale Blond’ does love via a Disney text book, so she ofcourse a ‘year in,’ she would be helplessly  hoping for a bit of official Prince Charming commitment. New love….New House…New Diamond.

Mel…is my unconventional, sassy, ‘I’m getting married in red’ sex machine. You don’t fuck with Mel. She turns red with anger and then eats Jelly Babies to calm her sore vulva.

Now, she’s already discussed ‘lets do forever’ with her Gary (who I saw yesterday but couldn’t look in the eye because my imaginative mind kept physically picturing all the rampant sex that he had been having with her…in porn form. All he did was walk past me and say ‘Hi‘ and my head imagined him eating Mel out, so I had to run and hide. Hahahah! Code for: I just sat there staring and imagined it.)

‘I just can’t look him in the eye now that I’ve heard all these filthy stories.’

Anyway, whether they’ve discussed ‘forever’ or not…I’ve decided to spice up their lives a little, by forcing them to play the ‘ROCK ON IT’ game. A casual game, where I watch them both secretly *fight* it out to get a proper proposal…for kicks. Hustle Barbie could probably play this too, yet she wants to start a glamour modelling career and marry D’Acampo. And well Double B….Hahaha…the game would be tooo easy. Jordan and his ‘Jackson Five’ penis would marry her in a wink.

Mel: ‘Yeah, but we’ve already talked about…’

‘Nope, it doesn’t count, until you walk into this room… with the rock on it. 🙂 You walk in, you say nothing, you hold up your left hand up in the air and bling it.’

‘That’s fine. I’ll just tell Gary that I need to win and send him to the jewellers. Lol’

Fairytale Blond was quiet, with her heart all a flutter and then decided that Mel would win. Lol. (But she’ll play it strategically, as ‘Fairytale’ is not soft. She knows how to get what she wants.)

Mel: ‘What about you! You’d probably win this…!! Lol.’

Me: ‘Hahaha. Please. I have a hundred more months of sending nudes before that happens. LOL.’

So yeah…game on! Let’s see who wins! I’ll come back to this blog when one of them struts in with the ‘BLING HAND’ in the air. There’s nothing more fun than a ‘fucking up everyones love life’ game. 🙂

Life is great right now. I’ve a busy kitty and I’ve got my Friday feeling! Work is great! I’m juggling. But I’m gonna try and take so time off to focus. I’m not a ‘here, there and everywhere’ kinda gal. It may seem like that. But i’m the opposite to wishy washy. I’m driven and sharp, so I just need a moment, after yesterday’s delicious ‘early night’ to bundle myself together and chill. Calm mind, Great results.

I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again…EVERYTHING IN THE FUTURE WILL BE SOCIAL. So all of you hoping to smash the big time ‘Dollar, Dollar, Fame Ball’ with a boobie bounce of victory….KNOW that you need to meander your career or lives down a Social Media path. If you don’t start it now…you’ll get left watching everyone else succeed.

I started my blog 10 years ago. I didn’t even know why? Five years in…nobody knew why I bothered doing it…But I at that point understood where everything was headed ‘socially’….A couple years after that….EVERYONE’S A BLOGGER OR A VLOGGER and it was in that moment where I accidentally smashed it, because all those previous years of blogging both honed my craft, built an audience (which is what you need) and made my STATS AMAZEBALLS!

And yes, it’s harder to start a blog/vlog now…as your competition is much much greater. Yet, if you don’t try and you wish to partake in a career of that fashion….you’re stupid. In years to come, no one will be watching tv…your shows will be online…Glamour Models are now Instagram Models. She’s now not a beautician, she’s a Beauty Blogger. You have Business Men starting everyday vlogs. Secret Footballers writing daily diary blogs. My inbox is literally RAMMED with the most amazing people or brands who are wanting to appear on this blog, which is literally just the story of my life. So yeah, blogging and vlogging are two different things. Find out what you’re stronger at and go for it.

Anyway, away from that! I’ve been doing shoots. This morning, I’m excited to see some of the new pics that Claire Pritchard has shot for me, for her Fallen Angels Brand. I can’t wait to show you them, and you will be seeing them shortly, as I tease your little tinglers, with a slow release of online Wunna ‘look at me.’ Claire is one of the most amazing photographers, so I can WAIT shoot with her again shortly…as we have a Playboy/Kitchen shoot to do…this time i’m taking Prosecco. I love her so much. So yes, if YOU wish to be a Fallen Angel please shimmie on down to ..

clarepritchardphotograpnhy.com

The pics will be on my blog over the weekend.

I have a book out this year. It is the relaunch of ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss,’ yet i’m rewriting it, it’s being rebranded and ofcourse shot for again. I love a shoot. It now will be called ‘Dear Diary…’ and it’s taking you back to Volume 1 of my life…So it’s Chrissie Wunna (the naughty years. 😛 ) It’s a silly, but sexy bit of ‘all out there’ book. I’m sorting it all out now…and i’ll also be going on a signing tour, so you can get to meet me, have a chitter and well…if i’m being honest…just buy the flipping book. Hahahaha!

The eyelash line is also relauched at Christmas and I have a cheeky little secret that will popping up soon. (NO. IT’S NOT A BABY! LOL)

Ruby slept in my bed last night, as she does when Junior’s at his Daddy’s. I watch her when she sleeps and can’t believe how beautiful she is. We’ve come a long way. I’ve worked so hard and this is the first time in my life where I feel like i’m actually smashing it for them both. She’s six and waited until I had gone to sleep, just so she could sneak out of bed and stay up all night playing pretend pool parties.

‘What? I pretended to be asleep, so YOU would go to sleep and so I could get up and pretend Justin Bieber was at my pool party! I thought you said that we only live once!’

Ruby IS a terrifying MINI version of me.

Although, i’m celebrating a THANK FUCK it’s FRIDAY thing. Saturday i’m headed to London to meet with a Mr Kenworthy, in regards to a new project that i’m hoping to tinker with. Which reminds me, I need to finish off those questions. I’m trying to fit everything in, in blips. It’s not easy….sober. 🙂

But nonetheless, I can’t wait for the meeting and hopefully i’ll saunter out of it with a new business *notch* on my brand cycle..

Work hard. Get what’s yours. YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN. If you do it fucking well!

Take a shortcut…you’ll get cut short. Half ass it…you get a calm stream instead of a gushing river. Have a fall back plan? YOU’LL FLIPPING FALL BACK ON IT.

 

 

 

 

 

You won’t be a dickhead forever…

Great day! I’m feeling all squeaky, peaceful and on the whole… quite awesome. I’m feeling invincible, like nothing can really get to me.I’m together, cheeky, gentle, but alive. I’m feeling focused. I have a ‘bullesye’ trigger stare right now, as i’m kicking all that is seemingly negative under a dodgy rug, away from Wunna land for some other person to find and deal with…I’m good at the emotionally decluttering. It’s healthy for you. If something is not enhancing your life, or soul…don’t waste time on it. Embrace the things, people opportunities or situations that do! I’m a decisive girl, so i’ll never feel trapped in a muddle. I’ll always slip on a better set of heels and strut onward with a life *beam,* a gentle sass and OWN the path that I chose. People feng shui their homes, yet they forget to feng shui their souls. Don’t be that douche.

I’m feeling loved. I mean, when I got home from work today, (and i’m working hard) Baby Junior, my little son, the littlest Wunna in all the land, dashed up to greet me with cuddles and this crazy unconditional laughter that oozed utter Mummy love. It made me feel great! I’m so lucky! It’s those moments that help me realize how happy I am. Junior is such a pudding. I LOVE HIM. Ruby’s ace because she is ever inch ‘WUNNA LAND.’ This means we bicker…but i’d rather have a feisty daughter, than one that is terrified to speak her mind.

The careers going well. Better than I could’ve ever imagined, really. It could be better, but it’s turning into a good place and parking up. I’ve taken some shit wrong turns in my life, haven’t I! Some of you have come on the journey on me, no matter where you are in the world. Some of you have just checked in. You were smart. You came for the party. Good timing.

Right now and because i’m much older and wiser…I’m gracefully dancing to the beat, instead of tripping over heels in a muddle. I’m no longer trying to control or manipulate the things that I can’t meander and it’s great because it makes you feel free and helps you benefit from the things that are yours…Good things will come to you…the right people will find you. The best people will help you. Don’t stress over pressure or dumb shit that doesn’t really matter in the long run. Enjoy what you have and where you are. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Don’t forget to love it…even if it seems like things are going shit  or not exactly to plan…You can feel vunerable FOR A BIT…That makes you human. But then you just need to get over it, because there are great things ready for you, just around the corner. PLUS, pity parties are just not sexy and I am living proof that anything can happen to anyone! I’ve watched great things happen to people in life and it’s inspired me to have faith in the *magic.*

Don’t go against the grain of what is right for you!

Y’know, last year..this time last year, i was all cut up over love and boys and all this other crap…and selling myself all kinds of short. I didn’t realize at the time. We never do, do we? Lol. It was only really when it came to November that I decided to give myself a shake and concentrate on making my life worth it. I wanted this blog and my world to be a HIT. I focused and it worked. Everything changed. It went *ZOOM* in almost weeks.

This year, hasn’t had anything to do with love really. (Aside from ‘the swirl’ ofcourse) and y’know, i’ve met some ASTOUNDINGLY amazing people. All of them to do with work and opportunities…or even new friendships. And they all sort of just tinkered themselves into Wunna land. by accident, yet almost like they were meant to? Like this accidental Wunna force dragged them to me. (Yes, I think my life mojo is that powerful. Lol.) I’m loving it. I just hope that everything all works out for everyone in this year..but kinda mainly just for ME. Lol. I’m five months in and still going strong. Come on 2017! Gimme something juicy!

People are saying that the year is flying by. To me…it’s only May. so much can change in a day or a phone call in my world….Be it good OR bad….I have a whole lot of year left to conquer…AND I WILL! I’m an emotional soul, so i’m going to need fruity umbrella drinks to survive it. If there’s cocktails…I’ll smash this year with winks, victory air punches and a whole lot of love. Watch this glittery space. I’m ready now….Strap *the fuck* in.

I’m not gonna lie…there’s stuff going on in my head, when it comes to work and love. But there’s always gonna be stuff going on in your head, unless you’re utterly numb to emotion and thought. I’m happy. I’m too much of a firecracker to ever rest at the *numb* station. Even when I die, I’m sure, i’ll be able to squeeze out a *wink.*

But life’s about that isn’t it, conquering the ‘shit bits’ with ‘the jollies.’ We’re gonna have stress or situations that fill us with anxiety and turns everything upside down. Shrug it off, feel empowered, be confident and have faith that life is gonna treat you right, in the end. You’re not going to be a dickhead forever.

HURRAH!

Be THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. I mean being able to rise from any dodgy situation with a positive flag of ‘in your face‘ life makes you SO powerful as a human and because there’s weirdly so many people who having found the knack of doing it yet. It puts you ahead of the game. Lol. And don’t get this twisted. I’m not saying don’t FEEL the bad parts. The bad parts are there to be felt. The quicker you feel them..the quicker you’ll get over them.

I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that I told Lynne (who’s in her sixties) during a moment where in which she suggested that she had felt a little pressured…to just *FUCK IT.* She smiled, laughed and said,

‘Y’know what, I’m gonna do JUST THAT!’

It made me smile.  I love the Wunna magic.

I’ve heard stories of uncontrollable situations, where a friend of mine forgot how powerful she is. I explained her power to her via whatsapp and she returned to her fiery self, because I reminded her that there was NOTHING IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD that her SASS and SMARTS could not FIX. She’s far too cunning to lose anything that she is passionate about and it’s sexy!

My guy friend ‘Dipper,’ well he had people crawl back to him today…(OOooh, ‘The crawl back!)

Me: ‘Yeah, but are you gonna fuck them off?’

Dipper: ‘Yeah, course I am! Well…no not really, i’m gonna welcome them back with open fucking, *I need you* arms…HAHAHA’

(I loved that….It’s hilarious…and again…powerful.)

‘Double D’ who three weeks ago was SO glum, crying and devastated about the breakup he had with his girlfriend, today was all..

‘Well…we were only together for six months really…Lol’

(Made me smile. I totally watched him get over it…)

I sent someone a text today. One that they didn’t expect. It made them *BEAM* as it was a ballsy text, that they never ever in a million years thought that they would receive at 4.02pm today.

(Again. It made me smile.)

So, no matter where you are, or what situation you’ve got going on…BE IT GREAT OR SHITTY….KNOW that no matter what…great things will happen to you…They are literally just around the corner…

Have wine…enjoy your time…shove on a song…and live it.

 

Be Happy…

Always remember to do the things that you love. Always remember to ONLY do the things that you love. Pay attention to the things that you love. The things that make you happy. And at the same time pay attention the things that don’t. It can be a job, a lifestyle, a guy, a girl, a situation, a choice, a relationship, your personal environment,  a persona, the people who have around you, Make sure you are happy, as I cannot reiterate to you enough, how precious life is and how even though it may seem like we have ages on this glamourous little Earth Ball…time flies..boy..does it FLY…and we really do only have 100 years, if we’re lucky, to do life, love and live, the way we’ve always wanted. Embrace your new chapters and don’t ever settle for being *stuck* as nothing is worse than a rut, that doesn’t make you smile.

I mean, we has humans constantly try and talk ourselves out of choices that may better us, even if they make us happy and simply because we’re scared that we might not be safe. Y’know, things like…

‘I can’t leave my job, even though it depresses me…’

‘I daren’t fall in love…They’ll hurt me…’

‘I’ve got to do what’s right for EVERYONE ELSE…even if it goes against what I believe is right for me…’

Stay loyal to what makes you happy.

What i’ve learnt from living my life personally, is that my best EVER choices, where i’ve really succeeded and *BEAMED,* be it in business, love or just life have always stemmed from me committing to really big decisions, changes and without fear. I’ve felt fear a lot of times in life…I mean, when i was younger growing up in LA, when i was getting divorced…Many times…I’ve felt fear and every time I have, i’ve felt weak.  I’ve been in a weak place.

These days, I can tell you…that im’ not scared to love madly, like a guy is my world , as I throw the rule book out the window. I’m not scared to change jobs, work or choices…I always know that i’ll be fine and i’ll be happier. I’m never scared to always do what’s right for me. I’m caring, loving and i’m emotionally generous, yet i’m respectful to what I believe in and loyal to that whole heartedly.

Don’t waste your time or life on things that don’t make you happy. It’s not worth it. Be strong, Being unhappy makes you do stupid things. Being happy makes your soul *BEAM.* You’ll feel on top of the world, like you can conquer anything.

I can honestly tell you that with the right love, determination, hard work and passion…you can make ANYTHING WORK. You can make your dreams come true.ESPECIALLY in this day, this age, this time If I can do it. ANYONE can do it!

People always say that in order to be successful you have to make sacrifices and I don’t think you do. As I’m someone who believes that you need a balance of everything in your world, in order to be ‘whole.’ I live every moment, like it’s precious and I juggle everything with merriment. I’m the Queen of ‘the juggle.’ The juggle is real. 🙂 I’m not defeated by having to juggle anything. Yet, yes, you probably have to ditch bad habits and things that prevent you from being happy or a success…Yet when you’ve got the balance right, everything in your world will be easy. It’ll all feel easy. Work will be easy. Money will come easily. Opportunity will be there..and your love life will not be draining. It will flow with happiness and with great ease. You won’t have to try, it’ll just work.

The only reason why i’m writing this blog is simply because I keep having conversations with people, who are so unhappy with the way their life is, yet they dare not even attempt to make a change. Yet, at the same time, I’ve had conversations with random people, on trains, on my walks to work, who are SO happy with everything in their life because they’ve kept it simple and stayed loyal to their own feelings. You can even FEEL how happy they are, because their *BEAM* is contagious.

I LOVE HAPPY PEOPLE.

I also wanted to write this blog to REMIND MYSELF to make the right choices and I don’t always AT FIRST make the right choices, but I always know that i’m gonna be okay, because in the end I WILL because my system can’t help itself. It doesn’t work like that. I’m always happy because  I embrace my chapters and with utter love and passion. As soon as i’m not happy, my system *flags it up* like an ‘alert’ and my soul stops me from continuing this random malarky of *sad face.*

Only do the things you love.

I’m also writing this blog because I get hundreds of messages that seep into my world via all platforms of Social Media. They pour into Wunna land like a digital stream of non stop magic. And I appreciate all your messages. All of them.

Yet, I do sometimes think that some of you see me in a really different light to what I’m actually like in ‘real person’ lol…as I call it… 🙂

Yes, i’m fun, i’m sassy, I’m glammy, i’m gobby and i’m open. But I’m filled with warmth, a love, i’m the most down to earth girl you will ever meet and yeah I adore a piss take and a stilleto strut, but i’m pretty calm and together. I’m pretty sensible…in a fun, wild kinda way. 🙂 I’m not wishy washy at all. I’m positively, with a smile…direct..and i’m kind. I’m not ‘DIVA.’ YET I AM NOT DULL.

I’m a hard person to know, unless you know me, I guess?

But i’m reading through all my messages tonight and there’s so many. I find it so interesting. And even though I love being all over my social media and blogging away…at the same time (and because I believe in balance) I ADORE those moments away, where there’s just me, or i’m chilling with friends, I have zero attention, or those moments where I just get to be MUM and have my pj’s on, as I snuggle and chitter with Ruby and Junior. They’re my entire WORLD!

So it may seem that I’d do anything for a boozy cocktail, good time, a wink a night on the razzle. (And yes, I do adore fun.) YET let me assure you that everything that I do, in my ENTIRE LIFE is FOR Ruby & Junior. EVERYTHING. I live for them. And yeah, I might not have it easy, as i’m a single mum of two, which means I haven’t really ever had the comfort of just being able to be MUM. I’ve had to hustle the whole time. But I like it because it provides for them…and I know that one day the Big Dude up above will cut me some slack and throw me a bone. (No, not a boner. 🙂 ) When that happens…I’ll be able to finally sit back and *breathe* with relief.

Always remember to only do the things that make you happy….

Lots of love,

Chrissie,

Ps/ I’m Snapchatting for the rest of the night.

Catch me there: chrissiewunna1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birthdays, Chill Mode & Manchester on Monday

I think i’ve just let my body embrace ‘chill mode’ and this isn’t any normal kind of ‘chill mode,’ this is the ultimate, soft landing, let your world sink into deep relaxtion, as a release mode.

I feel like i’ve just jollied in from the LONGEST work week ever. I can feel it all in my back, all tense. All knotty. It was just one of those work weeks that just kept going and going, with early mornings, late nights…and not even nearly enough wine.

When my body is still ‘running’ it does the job and gets on with it. YET, there was just a moment, on Friday night, where in which I tip toed away from the bustle. (I’ve worked A LOT over the last week, but i’ve felt it? Friday was also Ruby’s birthday…She’s now SIX :)..so even at home, it’s been ‘go, go, go.’ People, plans, giddiness, all sorts.) But yes, I looked around me, at the bustle and I snook away for a second, to have a chill, just a little old lay on my good old bed. (Total Granny. 🙂 ) And as my utterly glamourous head, hit that extra soft, feathery pillow, almost as if it had happened in slow motion, my ENTIRE SOUL felt a strong *clench* relax and slooooowly release me from a lofty height of tense stress. It was BLISS. From that moment on, I was in a euphoric state of kitty chill and I think you just need those moments to recoup. It’s the balance. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about relaxing. If you work hard, you deserve it.

I have Ruby’s birthday weekend to delight in for the rest of the weekend…and to be fair the babies have been wonderful. Their little faces are lit with glee. Ruby’s so happy to be six and Junior’s so happy to skank extra pressies, because it’s his sisters birthday and he’s the baby, so we can’t leave him out. Lol.

All sorts happened last week. ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I pissed ourselves laughing, as we ventured out to what I’d call ‘foreign lands,’ lands that I had never been a part of before to collect awards. TWO AWARDS. Lol. We won the lot! Yet, we had to ‘copper up’ to afford to buy booze, because they didn’t accept card and we didn’t have any cash on us. Well, we spent the cash on being charitable, which although lovely, and Little Miss Fairytale won Daffodil biscuits :)…kinda annoying when it comes to feeding my alcoholism. ‘Lady Shizzle’ who went with us, (I did vino with her, the red sort, before the event,) had to leave us to it, to journey home and dumped a handful of 20 pence pieces in my hand, which i was tremendously grateful for, as I could then afford a Sol. Lol. ‘Fairytale Blond’ got a CUPPA TEA at the pub before and then a JUICE Lol…at the event thing. I was filled up with wine, probably up to my little squinty kitten eye balls.

The rest of my chick friends, are all on ‘time of the month‘ vibes, so everything is all a little stressy or a littler tender. It’s delightful. It’s all hair extensions, blond bits and grumpy faces, with stress.

We’re all eating out of that FILTH DRAWER like desperate chimpanzees on the look out for….(Lol…sorry, just giggling at the time Firmonnell kept carrying around this banana with her, like her utter LIFE depended on it, like it was her weird BEST FRIEND. HAHAHA!)

‘Why do I constantly have this fucking banana in my hand?’

‘What’s that on my desk?’

‘Firmonnell’s banana!’

I am eating like a fat Oriental pig. It’s disgusting. I mean, you KNOW you’re not in Hollywood anymore, when you’ve gone out of your way to HIDE a fucking BACON SANDWICH from Greggs, in a drawer, that you can easily access, with one, left hand swing, if you fancied a bite. I’m not even left handed, so it’s my emergency arm.

I DID that!! That is what I have become! Waist trainer? I’ve probably eaten it, with a side of pork dumplings? 🙂

And there’s me thinking, ‘Ooh, I have a bunch of events and shoots that start in March, so I’ll get in shape, eat well and get skinny for them…’

Oh yeah, totally smashed that goal…

I mean I head to Manchester in Monday to go have a cheeky peeky behind the Social Chain walls. I snapchatted Steve…Steven Bartlett and asked if i could go…and he agreed. So I get to meet him to! Couldn’t be more excited for Monday! Can’t wait to meet everyone. Can’t wait to blog about it all….BUT I’M GONNA BE THE CHUBBY VERSION OF MYSELF. GREAT! I’m mean to be some crown wearing glamour puss for crying out loud!

I bet they don’t hide bacon sandwiches in drawers! No! They’re decent human beings….all creative and hard working….all….

I hope they have cocktails?

The funny thing about all this, is that when I made my Gino’s appearance, remember that blog….at the end of last year….I had made a bet at the Prosecco bar with House of Solo Magazine owner Abeiku Arthur….I had started watching Steve’s Vlogs every night and getting into them and then began Tweeting about how much I loved them. ‘House of Solo’ Abeiku Arthur then decided to Tweet Steve…and I correctly predicted that he wouldn’t get a reply, yet Steve would ‘like/favourite’ my Tweet.

What I didn’t tell you, was that I also predicted that I would be IN THAT OFFICE in a couple months. 🙂 Lol. AND *BOOM*….Monday, I check in!

Like, I said, I’m really excited. I can’t wait to tell you about my time there…I go on Monday and I even kept my Diary completely empty for Tuesday, whilst I’m still in Manchester, so that I can blog it all accurately…when it’s fresh….

Facebook Msg: (PE teacher from Malta) ‘Heeyyyyyyyyyyy, not out living the high life this evening? *Add kissy face emoji’s here.*

Whatsapp Msg: (London Business Man)

‘Your obviously too in demand these days x

It’s so bizarre, because both of those guys are from my ‘last year’ and they both decided against pairing up with  ‘Wunna land…’ I hadn’t spoken to them….Just got on with doing life….It all *zoomed* into the beginning of ‘dreams come true’ and then just like that, they’re back *tapping* on my Cyberland door. Both lovely humans. I wouldn’t date either of them. But they make good friends. Men must like women when they are headed to success? Well no…it either makes me more attractive to some OR makes other guys just feel defeated, like there would be no point in trying I’d never go for it….

But right now….I’ve got to go back and tend to organizing the rest of Ruby’s birthday weekend…

Love you all!

Chrissie

 

 

.

 

But a second hand emotion…

‘You’re know you’re only doing a ONCE A MONTH meet up! That’s ONLY TWELVE choices for the year…’

‘Oh…’

‘So, I suggest you quit saying yes to everyone…and take a look through all your messages and pick wisely. It’s like you’ve signed yourself up to 12 a fricking DAY!’

Thank you for all your messages, inboxes and comments. I’m reading them ALL and I can’t even actually believe how many of you responded. I’ve said yes to a lot of you, so I will find time for you. Lol. Yet, I agree, because as I’m busying up, picking 12 of you gradually, to ‘do life’ with, is probably a bit wiser.

I WILL SAY that the majority of you sent me lovely messages, that I actually felt inspired by, as I sipped on an evening Prosecco in my pink polka dot pyjamas, watching you all ‘Like/Like/Comment/Comment.’ There have been some really great finds, so I can’t wait to meet you…soon.

But OH MY GOD, let me kindly add that these aren’t WIN SEX WITH ME ‘meet ups.’ Lol. I’ve had boys send me, some of the oddest messages, offering me booze, a ‘boning’ and/or they’re bodies.

It’s about crossing life paths, the experience of it all and the art of written word story telling… in great shoes, with great hair and at a great venue.. 🙂

So something on the lines of this…

‘Babe, I should win because I just really need to get laid. Where you at?’

Isn’t going to score you a ‘Wunna Meet Me’ day? Lol. But I thought you’d get that?  I should be sending you guys ‘boobie’ prizes..and not the good kind. *Slaps in boxes* is what you require.

In fact, if I’m really honest, in the most stuck up manner (and I AM NEVER STUCK UP, OR TOO PROUD FOR ANYTHING,) I looked at my chick friend, as she lip glossed and selfied and with a slow motion hair toss, I ACTUALLY said,

‘Who does he think he is!’ Lol.

I haven’t said that phrase, out loud….in YEARS! I don’t even know why I felt so offended???  It’s not like I haven’t heard or seen worse?? (AND BOY HAVE I HEARD IT.)

So yes, I’m a sensual being by nature…and I get it…I get that…I mean GOD I helped design an ENTIRE sex toy range for Ann Summers and spent a merry chunk of my existence as a Glamour Model. I get it!  YET, there are ways to say things, so choose your words wisely. Lol. Being a gentleman, or taking the humorous approach into Wunna land, will never serve you wrong.  I enjoy bluntness, yet if it isn’t wrapped in charm, wit, cleverness or just good manners…you’re fucked. (And I don’t mean the good kind. 🙂 )

I’ve had the busiest day EVER and I know you’re sick of hearing it, because i’m SICK of saying it. But it’s true and i’m lucky to be busy. Yet, you know when you just need more hours …Those hours were needed…and are still nowhere to be found.

The great thing about it all is that I managed to laugh, smile and order wine at the end of it… with *can can* kicks. I’m a positive soul…When it gets like that you just have to have fun, work hard, go with it and hope for the goddamn best..with laughter! It’s amazing how contagious laughter and a great energy can be. That is ALSO how I pick my partners.

Right now, it all just feels like the beginning of something exciting (you all know that feeling and sometimes we forget to feel it) and it FEELS so good because i’ve accidentally and slowly been building a baby sized Wunna Empire AND I’ve managed to drink rum cocktails  all the way through it. 🙂 Hurrah!

I’ve just been through a jolly load of ‘ups & downs‘ in both work, my love life and jeeze, even in my life in general and you’ve followed it. To this day…I have no clue why??? Some day, that I’ve done it glamourously? Some say that I apparently reach out to such a diverse range of people, that there are pieces to me that everyone, no matter what age, life, gender or path they are, live or walk can relate to? Some say I’m ambitious? Some say I’m an ego maniac? Some say ‘i’m off the telly?’ Been naked? Talented? Just pretty? Expressive? Smart? Dumb? A writer? A business woman? A model? A mum? An attention whore? All sorts. I’m just one of these beings that managed to featured in The Times AND the Boobpedia on the same day. Lol. I don’t get it either? But all that matters is that it’s working and it’s working because of you. So I thank you every day, for reading this.

(Why am I currently having a flashback of my ex hubby Keiran forcing me to prize off my engagement ring because I had chosen to go do a shoot? I remember that day clearly and again, I have no clue why I do? We’re both good friends now we’re separated. Yet that day, now I think back, I remember him being so annoyed in the kitchen and he reluctantly drove me to my shoot in Leeds, that was for an appearance, for my book launch…He THREW my pink leopard print suitcase out the car, after he had cried to a Katy Perry song, I was feeling all heart broken and confused but being silent about it and then after picking my suitcase up from the side of the street, walking around a corner and being greeted by Jamie the organizer, with a smile on my face like nothing had happened, I walked in, got changed, went through a brief prep and shot this picture…

That’s why I always use this photo. It reminds me of a time where in which I could’ve chosen to be weak, but I chose to be strong. Makes me feel empowered. After that shot, I sauntered off to the side and privately reached for my phone…of course. Girls are girls. I tried to call him, as I had no messages and he deliberately didn’t answer to make me feel uncomfortable. I was in the loo, but had to quickly leave a message because of the girls had come in and I didn’t want her to know what was going on.)

The GREAT thing about that moment of my life, was that IN that toilet, IN that empty club, through the day, in Leeds, at MY book launch shoot, I vowed to NEVER EVER be like him (well how he was then) with ANYONE and to never TRY to get in the way of someones dream/career.

Why have I just remembered that? Weird?

Definitely need a wine now. Lol

I’ve just received an email from a clothing brand who’d like to meet  with me and I also have a whatsapp message…

London Business Man: ‘You totally HAVE forgotten me…’

 

Love Squeaks, Glamourous Charity Bags & Life

If you ever make a girl *squeak* you have made her happy.

Now, when I say *squeak,* I don’t mean a *squeak* for no real reason. Nor do I mean, a *squeak* out of shock, surprise or when someone squeezes your love handles without your consent. I don’t even mean it muckily…not that mouse noises are really a speciality in the bedroom for most.

When I say *squeak* I mean the moment where in which an adoring guy, tells an adoring girl something and it makes her SO happy, that it fills her entire soul with love and excitement, SO much to the point that in a split second, her world becomes a swirl, her emotions swizzle all the way up her body, and an uncontrollable, yet innocent euphoric moment of ‘happy dance’ occurs and *squeak*…There you have it….she beams.

I looked to my left today and watched ‘Firmonnell’ *squeak* and it kinda made me smile, as watching people during those moments makes the moment ‘live.’ It’s contagious. She was on the phone to ‘Big D’and he totally made her *squeak.* So gents, you know, if you ever make a girl happy, it’s that moment where her heart skips a beat, her hands delicately fist up and crunch against her mouth, her eyes smile because they can’t help it and she *squeaks* with simple excitement. I told you…it made me smile. (Even though I annoyed her all the way through the phone call.)

‘What’s he saying? What is it? Tell me NOW! No honestly..what??’

It made me notice that I haven’t *squeaked* over a boy in ages. Work, excitement and achievements have made me *squeak,* MORE than *squeak,*  yet it’d be nice to have some other chick, look to her left, whilst i’m on the phone to someone who adores me…and have her notice my *squeak* with smiles. 🙂

I’ve had a really busy day, but a great day! Again! I couldn’t be a happier being right now. I’m beaming and you can see it in my strut and my smile. Everything is slotting into place, as i’ve got it now, I have my balance and system SORTED.

Work is fabulous. Home life with the babies is a wonder. I’m emotional this week and definitely must be getting my period soon. (I think all my chick friends are. We must all be on the same cycle, as I noticed today that we were ALL on a very unglamourous HUNT for substance, in what we call the ‘FILTH DRAWER.’ The ‘Filth Drawer’ contains forbidden chick goodies, like sugary delights, sweets, chocolate, carbs, biscuits…you name it. It’s good dirty filth. It never ends, until the drawer is depleted of goodies. You couldn’t get us OUT of that fucking drawer today. 🙂 It was like it was filled with 100 dollar bills, diamonds and marriage proposals in it. Lol.)

But my day has just been getting better and better! I mean to say it started of shit at 7am, whilst Keiran (Junior’s Dad) came to pick the littlest up and decided to moan at me because ‘I’m a woman’ and I don’t know how to appropriately De Ice a car. *I roll my eyes.*

I shouted at him because he was lingering and I was in a rush. I had places I needed to be and school runs before that.

‘What? I’m just trying to be helpful??? I’m sorry you’ve taken it that way.’

‘I don’t think just being stood there, doing nothing and simply being critical is the art of being helpful.’ (Add Wunna scowl here.)

Surely being helpful involves helping? Lol. Don’t stand there and moan at someone because you know a better route to success, yet without you being bothered to help.

I De Iced my car MY WAY. I got in it. I dashed off with a pout, a hair toss and  with my glammy first born in tow. SO THERE. 🙂

Yet, from that point on….my day turned wonderful. 🙂 Yes, again..it was BUSY. Yes, again…felt a little nagged by naggers. (I don’t like naggy folk, they give me a rash. I’m focused, yet laid back and find naggy types ungraceful.

Chill. Listen. Get it sorted. Boss it out. Then smile. Peace

However, anyway, I ended up leaving the office today with a giant white plastic bag with Leukemia Care printed on it in red,

‘I don’t know why I gave you a Leukemia bag, as I don’t know anyone with Leukemia,’ said ‘Double B.’ Lol

(She was super tanned today and rocked the top knot once more. She got confused by South Africans and still doesn’t know how to spell ‘poach.’ However today she gifted me with an ENTIRE STACK LOAD OF Ah i just don’t want them House of CB dresses to wear..

‘Well they’re better for you to wear and get papped in, then me to wear in Wakey. If you don’t like them just bin’em.

What?? Now, you always have to becareful with ‘Double B’ as her warped sense of judgment can get the better of her. (‘Firmonnel, Fairytale Blond, Hot Sarah’ and I were all super skeptical over a cup of tea that she was potentially going to make, earlier on in the day)

But once I got home and had a peek in my Leukemia bag…What I literally FOUND was the MOST AMAZING House of CB dress choices, IN THE WORLD EVER. And i’m not even joking.

No automatic alt text available.

It was literally every single dress choice that I would’ve picked. Sequins, and lace, dark green, pink and boobie sexiness. In fact, I already own one of them…so now I have two. *COULDN’T BE HAPPIER.* As if she was going to take them to the tip. As if she just gave them to me, to give them a glitzier life. Lol. As if they came in a leukemia bag, like they were ill. Haha.

‘There’s £100 dresses in there that I haven’t worn…you can have them… I’m having a clear out..’

WHAT?

Utterly the sweetest chica ever…Under layers of orange tan. (Thank you 🙂  I loves you mucho! (I honetsly have the greatest chick friends! They buy we flowers, cakes with my own face on, booze, bake me cottage pies, gift with me leukemia bags filled with House of CB dresses! Your ‘300 days of the year’ friends are  shit in comparison to mine. Lol.)

Then to top it all off, when I first arrived home, I had a postman card wedged through my letter box,

‘Parcel left with neighbour at 17.’

So, I leave Ruby inside at door step, to beable to peek at me, yet mainly to make sure she’s safe and warm and then I totter off to number 17, which was only 2 doors away (I make it sound like i’m off on an adventure) in my *clippety cloppety* heels and giant grey and black faux fur. I ‘Catwalked’ it there.

I ring the door bell, wait and a tiny, little, grey haired granny, with the warmest smile and green pinny on looks up at me, with my parcel in her hand. Awwww!

I thank her ever so graciously, she makes sure I know that it was ‘no problem at all Chrissie,’ and I saunter back with the funnest baby pink and black, package known to mankind? It was filled with ‘Girl Power’ quotes saying things like ‘Girl Gang’ and ‘Boys are shit.’… LOL…and well…

No automatic alt text available.   No automatic alt text available.

…there was a note….

No automatic alt text available.  No automatic alt text available.

Surely I’m not so lucky to get TWO surprise girly parcels in ONE DAY! AND ON A TUESDAY! Nothing fun ever happens on a Tuesday!!

But yes…My little Missy Empire treats arrived on my door step today! Can’t wait to show you want Wunnaland ordered! 🙂 I think they deserve a weekend debut!

Inbetween the ‘Double B’ gift bag of House of CB and the Missy Empire door step knocks was a moment…and it was a moment where in which Ruby and I simply sat across a table from one another in a restaurant having a casual dinner…Nothing big, nothing fancy…but just special. The one on one time that I have with both bambinos matters to them massively. Ruby was filled with glee and I just watched her..I wondered with warmth what she would be like as a 20 year old, what she would become, who would she date, what job would she had. It was the first time I really looked at her and saw just how grown she was becoming.

She saw me glaring at her and cheekily said,

You know…I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world.’ 🙂 

‘That’s strange, because I KNOW YOU’RE the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world.’ 🙂 

‘I love you Mum.’ 

‘I love you Baby.’

‘Mum…we’re all living different worlds, but doing it in one big world.’

As if that came out of my five year old! I was so proud! How amazing! It made me quietly and internally *squeak.* 🙂

Then we ate sweet potato fries and giggled the night away.

Now if you were to slowly zoom up and away from us, until we were only tiny little *dots,* on this BIG GIANT Earth ball, surrounded by zillions of other tiny little dots…ALL doing life…Living ‘Our world’ in one ‘big world.’

Tonight you’d see that  we were the HAPPIEST TINY DOTS in the ENTIRE Glittery Universe.

Y’know, right now, I feel like the luckiest person alive 🙂 and it’s not even down to me, it’s simply down to the people that I’m accidentally surrounded by. It’s funny how  your surroundings can completely change your *beam.* If you do anything after reading this blog, make sure you try to make someone *squeak.*

Love you,

Chrissie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weekends, Tears & Life Choices

I’ve had the entire weekend off to just be ‘Me,’ do nothing and enjoy being Mum. I’ve worked so hard and over so many hours over the past month, that just taking a full weekend off where you’re just you and you’re not in a dash to get to your next train, or over thinking your next marketing plan, or running off to meet with the next human, who you’d like to work with, makes all the difference. I don’t need to do it all the time. I just need to do it now. 🙂 Keeps you sane doesn’t it. Plus, it gives me that *pinch* of reality, as sometimes when you’re working so hard, everything becomes a *dash* and you begin to feel like a commodity (which is something you’re actually trying to create for business) and less like an actual human….(which is something that you truly are.) In fact, this also goes hand in hand with love…Often my inbox (mainly my Facebook Inbox and Website email account) will get jammed up with hundreds of messages from guys either being lovely or being dirty, or just being…mainly trying to trick me into chatting to them 🙂 …and in those moments it does make me feel like a commodity and not an actual human being. I mean GOD, if you actually truly liked a girl and wanted her to be yours and you had one shot to make an impression via an inbox message, would to really begin your introduction with…a penis. Even if you simply wanted to *bone* her…the approach you use is vital. A dick pic will never ever work, unless it has been requested! Hahaha! I never request, so don’t get excited! Honestly, all we’ll do is show all our chick friends and laugh at it. (I don’t even have time to do laughing at it! Well I did once, last Summer with ‘Double B’ on a bench in Pontefract. Hahaha. I can’t remember who’s willy it was? Prince someone?) Plus, you’re also a tool if you try to do the charming whoosh of banter, or loveliness, yet with the intention of only wanting to *poke the pie* so to speak. I’m Chrissie Wunna, I don’t fall for that at all. I’ve been there, heard it all, learnt the hard way and charmed my way back all over again. Just be you. The more real you are, consistent you are and the more reliable you are…the more we will *heart* you. To me…thoughtfulness is sexy. (Oh and I guy with an impressively working brain will win over an ‘i’m in the shower’ shot. Don’t get me wrong, I love eye candy…Yet I can’t build an empire with ‘six pack.’ And if you don’t know how to ‘woo’ me, it’ll make me think you either  don’t want me bad enough or you’re brain hasn’t been able to creatively figure out an approach. Lol) Shit! I’m harsh! No wonder i’m single. But it’s true! Hahaha. Be in love or work…There’s a lot of things we palm off with an ‘I don’t have time for…’ Yet in real life if we really really wanted to do it…we’d make time for it. ALWAYS. When we do, in regards to work, we move further up the ladder. When we do, when it comes to romance, we know that the other party is interested, as they will have made time for you.

I’ve chilled all weekend with Ruby and Junior and it’s been wonderful. We’ve laughed, we’ve lunched, we’ve shopped and just seeing their faces beam as made me complete. Junior’s clung onto me with smiles, like i’m his entire world and Ruby has been HILARIOUS. Honestly, she’s the most sarcastic, fun loving five year old ever. I found her stood at the top of the booze isle at our local supermarket on Friday at 7pm, when the isle was FILLED with tired working mums, who were all grabbing wine. Whenever they walked past her, doing that ‘oh it’s kid, I better smile’ thing, Ruby sweetly smiled back and then shouted ‘YOU’RE A DRUNK’ at EACH MOTHER! Hahahahaha! I shouldn’t laugh. But honestly, it was the most hilarious thing ever. Even the Hot Dads that were stood about, were weeing themselves as she scorned each woman that went past with wine. SHE even found it funny. This is why I shouldn’t be left to raise babies by myself. I had to retrieve her and demand that she ‘Abort Mission’ by rushing up (it was a fake rush, just to look like i didn’t know it was happening, 🙂 and say this, whilst taking her hand…

‘Sorry about that. She’s mine. You can obviously probably tell. But know that I’m a functioning alcoholic, so don’t feel bad about the wine..’

Ruby smirked and started shouting,

‘CHRISSIE WUNNA, GET OFF ME.!’ EVIL!

Anyhow, although things have been quite family…I’ve still caught up on bits of work and emailed a bunch of people back. I’m in a busy time of promo and sorting out my cocktail tour. There’s a lot of exciting stuff going on with that…so I’ll be able to tell you all about it, as I go along. especially up to the Valentines run up!

I dropped the babies off with their Dad’s today, as every Sunday they have a ‘Daddy Lunch’ day. Like i’ve always said, even though there have been babies and breakups, Pete, Keiran and I are really close and get along really well and simply to make sure that ‘The Wunna babies’ are raised with love. We co..parent like Superstars and my parents (who are currently away) all chip in, whole heartedly to raise them like pros!

Dropped Ruby off. She was happy as can be. Pete, lovely as can be. He’d washed some of her clothes to give me and filled with love and giggles, he said ‘Bye’ to Junior and they both jogged off into the distant. This last week has been tough with childcare, as will the upcoming week, because we have my Mother missing. The system works, yet if you pull a being out of it…it all goes potty!

However, Keiran and I went through the opposite today. I called him to do the baby drop off, he didn’t realize that he had Junior today, because i had a very busy last week and the schedule had been turned upside down at very short notice. He’s been realy reliable and there for me. Yet Keiran needs order,  IN ORDER to function. I am so used to changes that I can function with a wink and a finger point and it can be in ANY direction. But he’s running a company and trying to fit in his ‘social’ bits and for the first time in a long time, because of me, he had to actually make SACRIFICES. Not something he’s used to…as My Mum and I will always have it in the bag.

But yes, a phone bicker occurred, because he got a little cocky for no reason, when all I needed was help. I’m someone that NEVER asks for help unless I really need it and also someone that has sacrificed all sorts for everyone…anyone. I get that trait from my Mother.

Yet, he made me feel as though I was WRONG for ‘doing me’ because he wanted to do HIM. He made me feel, without him knowing, almost GUILTY for trying to hustle, when he had things that HE WANTED to do and because of my busy LAST WEEK (know that it has only been ONE WEEK that has affected him) he almost threw a strop.  It upset me, so I simply said,

‘That’s fine, I’ll take Junior with me..’ *Hung up.*

He must’ve got that I was narked off, as the next call was Keiran and he demanded that I brought him over…yet kindly, like he was sorry. (Junior was now kicking off, because he now didn’t want to go and just wanted a chill day with me.)

I dropped Junior off and today being 3, he just didn’t want to go. He cried all the way there and just looked at me with tear dripped eyes asking me for a Mummy day. As a Mum and as a basic human, no matter how much of a ‘Boss/Diva/Hard Worker’ or whatever else you label yourself, in that moment every inch of my entire soul filled with tears…I didn’t cry, as Keiran lifted Junior out the car and Junior glared at me, crying, telling him to make sure I pick him up soon…I sort of had to ‘shut off’ emotionally and not let the moment get me.

I got into my car quickly, I shut the door and I drove off…I just needed to drive…I just needed…

Well..I’ll be honest, the radio had turned into just background noise, as my heart took over and my mind stopped focusing…and as I just drove…my eyes filled up and I cried…I cried all the way… and I don’t if I cried because of Junior’s little face and it made me feel guilty or if I cried because I had felt that Keiran had stressed out over having to sacrifice himself FOR JUST ONE WEEK and tried to make me feel bad for trying to get ahead in work, like I haven’t ever sacrificed!

Are you kidding me! I sacrificed my WHOLE ENTIRE CAREER, because I had no choice, when he left. He sacrificed nothing, not even a party schedule, let a lone a work schedule at that time. I had a 2 year old and a newborn baby at the time, I was at a showbizzy *peak* and I had to let it all go…because I couldn’t manage it all by myself and i was fine with it, because I had to ‘man up’ and deal with it. Even to this day, i’m thankful for it, as it made me strong and it made my blog REAL, which is what made it popular. I told you when I was happy. I told you when I was sad. I told you everything.

I waited for years, working odd little jobs here and there…until Ruby and Junior got older and this year they’re BOTH finally in school and now with the correct approach, good whole heartedly help and determination…I can do this….and I won’t let anyone make me feel bad for trying. I’m doing well….

Regardless, we’re okay again now, we’ve spoken again…we have these little co parenting *blips* and once we’ve shouted it out, we’re fine. After i’ve finished my next meeting, I’m going to pick Junior up, just because I promised him that I would. So we’re all good. I’m happy.

I noticed that when I was in the car and no one was there, I cried, but didn’t really ‘let it all out.’ I stopped myself? Why? No one was there? That’s wrong.

Just now, whilst typing this, I began to fill up (as I didn’t manage to let out my BIG weep lol) and I stopped myself because..well i’m in the middle of a busy Starbucks and everyone would SEE me. That…I get! But when i’m alone, I should be able to cry it out. What is wrong with me?

Anyway, I’m off…I have a meeting and a quick interview to tend to…

Maybe I like to be busy, so I don’t have to *pause* and feel as much, because by nature i’m quite sensitive. I’m warm. I’m thoughtful. Yet, because i’m sassy, people don’t think that I would be?

But like I said…I’ve got my next meeting to get to… 🙂

Speak soon…

Chrissie

I just need a Prosecco and a period i’m sure. Lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sex, Work, Single life & Genitals?

I cannot even tell you how busy i’ve been and i’ve loved it. I’ve loved every single waking moment of it, like the dewy dripped deliciousness of ‘dreams come true.’ I’ve worked really hard at everything and yeah there have been times where in which it’s been tricky and jingle jangled in obstacles. Yet, I must have downed a wine and jousted through them without truly realizing. Y’know ungracefully *hitched* over the brick wall, only to turn back around, *wink* at it and find it transforming into glitter. This is a year of change for me. That year. The year where I *unzip* out of the old and with my head to the skies smiling… i’m ‘ashes rising.’ It’s almost a ‘sexy’ year. On this day LAST year (and I hardly ever back track, I see it as unhealthy) I received a really hideous ‘hate mail’ message that I glorified with the best comeback blog ever. So great, that that blog post, even to this day is STILL my most viewed blog post of all time. It’s a shame that my ‘highest ranking’ was stemmed from ‘hate mail’ and simply by someone who tried to gain a little ‘look at me’ via making others ‘look at ME’ in a more negative manner. I actually gained a lot of support…and well, this time last year, I quite positively thought that I was doing pretty great career wise. However, if I compare it to where I am at this point THIS YEAR…it’s amazing how FAR I’ve actually come. So, even though i hate to back track, I will say that looking back & reflecting, is beneficial when it comes to *pausing* for a second and realizing that you’ve achieved. You forget to notice sometimes and because you’ve been so busy.

And boy have I been busy. I’ve been so busy that I’ve felt like i’mon  a glittery pink treadmill, that’s been turned up to ‘full speed,’ yet i’m in crystal Loubotuins, ‘yessing’ everyone, ‘no..ing’ those who aren’t quite right and i’m running, i’m tottering so fast that i’m racing against time…with a pina colada in my hand and a *wink* that is sprinkled with charm on repeat. I’ve been working through the day, blogging when i can, single mummying ALWAYS and then in then in the evening flying off to any event of my choice that i’ve been invited to. It’s felt like i’m on some kind of crazy cocktail, picture taking Wunna tour. And the weird thing is…i’m not even complaining. I’m shattered. But it’s felt so right that internally i’m smiling. That’s how you know ‘career wise’ that you’re doing something that you love, something that’s right for you, as you’ll always make time for it, because it makes you happy. It doesn’t feel liek work, no matter how shattered you are.

I will now say that I did opt for rescheduling my entire work weekend, simply because I felt as though i needed a ‘moment.’ My body was so exhausted that i just needed to refill (…myself with champagne cocktails :). ) Noooo. I just needed a day off, to enjoy the babies, be a mum, not feel the pressure of an audience and only because when i’m knackered I can’t shimmie to the BEST of my ability. It only takes a day or two…then I can replace myself back in that canon and *shoot* myself out again, but with full force. Everything’s been successfully rescheduled, with more on top, so I couldn’t be happier, as I have some really exciting people and places to venture! I can’t even tell you how excited am I. Right now, it’s so bizarre because there are so many places asking me to visit and a bundle of places that I personally are wanting to visit, so i’ve asked…that if i wanted to, I could set up some 300 day tour. Lol. I can’t BELIEVE HOW FAR THIS LITTLE BLOG HAS COME. And I can’t believe that PEREZ HILTON (who I LOVE and i’m completely inspired by) liked the fact that I’m a FINALIST in this years UK BLOG AWARDS! As if!!! AND he sent me cyber kisses, after I stated that his absence in Celebrity Big Brother is…well…I said ‘shite.’ (I know…I put it so poetically. 🙂 ) About 10 years about, I worked at Crunch Gym, just as the check in and ‘give you a towel’ girl. It was one of the best jobs I ever had. It was so much fun and I met so many different, yet familiar faces every day. It was stimulating. But one of those faces that I checked in almost every day, before he became GIANTLY famous, was Perez Hilton…So it’s really great to be 10 years on and able to look back on development. Why am I being so reflective? I need a rum. This is shit.

However, the great thing about this last week, has been the fact that i’ve been surrounded by the greatest chick friends. How any ‘Glamour Puss’ lives life, without her ‘Girl Soldiers’ (cue: Beyonce) is beyond me? You need them. You really do. And yeah, we’re all pretty different and range from the ages of 21 to sixty something…But without that daily check in, ‘Double B’s’ unexplainable banter and Mel’s daily, ‘but i’ve have melon’ announcement (she’s the slim girl that goes to your local Slimming world weigh in, who you despise for being slim because she can chow down half a pack of Rich Tea biscuits, lose weight and justify the *binge* with a ‘But i’ve just had a bowl of melon’ )….Without the balance of one another…we’d all fall to pieces.

I think the problem with me, is that I’m quite ‘boy bantery,’ even though i’m ever much the girl. I’ve always had a lot of guy friends, that now i’m really embracing having chick friends, because it brings out that inner girl, that you need in order to radiate and be a girl. Maybe that’s where i’ve been going wrong on the dating scene, because I never seem to be able to let a guy be a man, without being their hot bantery chick friend, looking after myself financially or taking control of the situation emotionally. What I mean by that is that i’ll chase to get what I want in love… and that’s lame. I’m lame. And it’s only because in business and in life by nature, i’m used to zooming forward with clout in an attempt to get what I want. I’m proactive. Lol. However, now I FEEL more girly and it’s the delicate girliness in me that seems to be bringing the gents forward…I’m playful and i’m divary…yet like i always say, until you meet me, you don’t realise that I have this soft warmth.

It’s funny because i’ve had some people meet me and say,

‘It’s weird because I thought after all the tit pics that you’d be an absolute  nightmare, but you are so much more sophisticated than I imagined.’

YET at the same time, I’ve had people say,

‘I thought you’d be so ultra high maintenance and up your own arse, yet you are literally so down to earth…’ 

So, i guess i’m both? The key is your initial perception of me.

Yet going back to ‘Girl Soldiers’….you don’t have great chick friends, that you see on a daily, unless you are comfy enough to discuss PENIS. If you could read my blog notes from the week, which are literally just quick bullets on the ‘notes’ section of my iphone, (which reminds me i’m due an upgrade,) you would wee yourself a little with laughter. The fact that i’ve executively typed ‘PUBE NATION’ makes into my phone, makes me DIE with belly laughs.

So, I guess I had started a conversation about sex and how I haven’t had any in ages…months….in fact and that it actually felt great. I’m dating no one, i’m single and i’m so happy and so busy that I’m not even plonking legs at ‘ten to two‘ as they say.. on bed sheets…ANYWHERE after cocktails! 🙂 Like i said, I do intend on finding my ideal partner…I want to fall in love. However, right now, unless they did all the chasing and really wanted to date me, or if i really really *hearted* them…I wouldn’t have time to date at all. I’m shattered.

But anyway, ‘Double B’ decided to tell everyone that she didn’t want to give blow jobs anymore because her ‘Beau’ has a penis that (wait for it) LOOKS LIKE ME! HAHAHA.

‘Honestly, Chrissie! It looks like YOU when you’re in your GIANT PARTY WEAVE. I can’t even look at it!’ 

HAHAHA. If you are unaware as to what my ‘Party Weave’ IS, know that it is the most biggest and most intense piece of head wear, ANY GIRL could endure on a night out. It is the BIGGEST AMOUNT OF HAIR… ON A HAIR PIECE… EVER MADE. That’s what her boyfriend’s willy looks like. I wonder whether it *pouts* too and takes Selfies?

Then, like that wasn’t enough, she then went on to tell me a story about how she knew this guy who hadn’t had sex or wanked off in THREE ENTIRE YEARS. (Odd news, when you’re about to calmly eat a pasty.) Anyway, he got lucky and manged to *bone* (‘Firmonnell’ always tells me off for saying *Bone*) a girl who just so happened to be ‘Double B’s’ friend…

‘Honestly Chrissie, she had just had sex with him, came over to mine and when she took off her top, to get in the bath, IT SMELT LIKE ROTTEN EGGS. His spunk had stayed in him for SO LONG that it had turned ROTTEN. I’ve never smelt anything like it!!!’

Hahahaha! She makes my blog too easy on me.

But does that happen? Spunk doesn’t turn rotten. It doesn’t have a ‘best before end’ date, does it? However, I do think that it’s unhealthy to have it stashed in you, going ‘rotten’ for years on end. Lol. Boys can’t win. They’re mucky if they always *splurge* it out and they’re mucky if they decide to hold it all in. It’s rubbish being a gent. Poor sods!

Men are just weird creatures in general. No wonder, why i haven’t managed to come across my perfect find. This morning I had Twitter banter with Tom Zanetti over a video he had received from a middle aged gentleman, who had taken a moment of his life to plonk a blond wig and make up on and place TWO cut out pictures of TOM on his nipples. HAHAHAAH. He sent Tom the video on twitter…and it was so funny that you couldn’t cry for laughing. We’ve been pissing ourselves about it non stop. I mean, it takes some balls doesn’t it, so i’ll give him a high five for that, as he succeeded in the art of gaining Tom’s attention. Yet it did make me consider burning my own eyes out..and i’ve been, seen and done it all. Lol. But hey ‘potatoe/pottato,’ some people wake up on a Sunday morning and praise the Good Lord Jesus Christ. Others glue Zanetti to their nipples for Twitter videos and hit ‘send.’ Lol. I love it!

I’m always going to be single aren’t I!

Maybe it’s a blessing.

There’s a whole lot of ‘city’ and for once, I’ll tell ya, i’m thankful that there’s not that much sex. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Husbands, Prosecco & London Business Men

319753_348091485255729_1604099843_n

My birthday weekend has begun! Now, it’s not actually my birthday until Monday Dec 19th and i’ll turn thirty six. Yet since i’m off work and since life is pretty goddamn great, i might as well start early and embrace turning another year older with bells on my tinkers and tinkers of my…tits?

I’m currently blogging from The Prosecco Pit Stop in Doncaster. It’s a glamourous nibble and quick glass of ‘bubbles’ joint. It’s not only a ‘pop up’ in the Frenchgate Center, but it’s also one of my favoruite ‘pop ups’ going. I am here always. I mean, everyone adores a pit stop that serves a bit of bubbly, when you’re kitten heels are tired from shopping. This place is on of my absolute faves, so i couldn’t think of a more relaxing place. (Even though it is smack bang in the middle of lots of people traffic, open aired and where everyone can see me. 😉 )

I had a super Christmassy day at work yesterday. I’ve loved this year and although we’ve had our ups and downs, there’s been a bond. I mean, we’ve worked hard and any time you can sit in a work place and reflect over the year with laughter, wish you had wine and see how far you’ve grown, you know that you’re not only an amazing team, but you are also closer than you thought.

I got narked off, in a happy Christmassy manner, because everyone around me seemed to be headed for BIG CHANGES! ‘Double B’ (who cracks me up madly, she’s like a bubble of bimbo dipped in a giddy sasserilla. There’s no common sense running through her glitter bones, yet she is the most loving and hilarious human you will ever meet.) Anyway, ‘Double B’ is moving into her new posh house, with her boyfriend of 2 years. (She also wants to buy one of our colleagues HAM for Christmas because she remembers how much loves it. Lol. See! Her heart is in the right place. Yet, her sense of thought is absolutely and hilariously warped. Lol.) 

‘The Mighty’ is having an ENTIRE HUMAN. The human is living in her womb as we speak and is certainly not paying rent. That’s big things! But i’m excited for her, as being a Mum for the second time is always and i shouldn’t really say this…MORE rewarding, when you’ve been a working mum. I don’t know why? It just is!

‘My blog sends her to sleep’ Blondie, is headed for retirement. She’s one of those who can never retire because she has such a passion for what she does. (And goes to sleep after reading my blog. Lol.) But she has a giant long rest coming, a ‘holiday’ of retirement!

It kinda left ‘Hot Sarah’ and Myself just looking at one another all puzzled, with an orange material desk divider separating ourselves from one another.

‘THIS IS SHIT. YOU ALL HAVE STUFF TO BE EXCITED ABOUT IN THE NEW YEAR AND WE HAVE NOTHING!’

(I obviously find it hard to express myself. Lol.)

And everything that they had all began with ‘H.’

House, Human…Holiday.

So they decided amongst themselves that I would find a ‘HUSBAND’ AND ‘Hot Sarah’ would have ‘Heaps of Money.’

How come she got ‘Heaps of MONEY’ and i got ‘Husband.’ Lol. That’s fucked up! Hahaha.

I’ve lost hope when it comes to finding a husband. I don’t expect to and i’m happy…and i have all this new career stuff going on that i’m finding this ‘love thang’ hard. But i’m open to it. I just need to find the correct ‘fit.’ (That sounds rude. 🙂 )

The Retiring blond told me that what i might believe a husband IS…ISN’T and although i never listen, I always listen to those who are older and wiser. So i’ll agree. Yet, i think different humans, go through different circumstances and in the end, wish for different things. I would like a partner that i build an empire with, as i’m an ambitious and creative girl.They need to be also. I think i’d enjoy it more if they were similar to that motif. Lol. I don’t expect to find a ‘best friend’ like she did in her lovely husband who she met when she was 17. She’s now sixty something. I KNOW! AMAZING! 

I won’t have that. I’ll not find that. But i’ll find love in a different way. That’s the great thing about love…it’s always different, not always pure, but always an adventure for me. I’d like to find the man of my dreams, a best friend, my Mr.Right. I’m just a difficult human to date. But i have boobs. 🙂 (Please form a queue.)

I have lots going on over the next few days, filled with birthday, family, friends, cocktails, nights and lunches out. I’m all over. I’m doing Doncaster, Pontefract, Leeds and Manchester. I’m celebrating my world and my ‘another year older’ like a champion and I can’t wait!

I’m at Gino D’Acampo’s new restuarant tomorrow afternoon for lunch! I have all sorts going on from that point, so it’s a good time to come and be part of chrissiewunna.com, as i’ll be drunk for most of it….Meaning that i’ll be all chatty and loving and you’ll end up on this blog. So come cross life paths. Be a part of my world. The written word reality show of drama.

Right now, i’m off to Cosmo’s with Ruby for lunch and I’ve just recieved a Whatsapp message from ‘London Business Man’ wishing me a Happy Birthday and reading,

‘Kinda miss you…just saying. xxx’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Magical Christmas, Tequila Dance Banter

ac6 - Copy

Busy day! But worth it!I had a MOUNTAIN of work to shimmie through and not even in nipple tassles! I was absolutely shattered through most of it, as Ruby had decided to wake up every 3 hours all night, incase Santa was coming. Yippeee! It’s the beauty that all working Mums have to endure. Lol. Yet, I got on with it….and with a coffee spritzed *wink.* Working your day job and building your own personal empire, as a single, working Mum is so hard it’s hilarious. 🙂 However, being the glitzy bit of champion that i am, I reckon things are only as hard as you make them. Winners find solutions and all that jazz. I will also say that winners don’t talk shit either. 🙂 I hate it when i encounter ‘flakey’ people, who say they’re gonna do something but don’t. The little things don’t bother me. It’s just the big things that can make a difference. However, i’m not like that in any way. So, that’s something to do a ‘tequila dance’ for! If i can’t do something, i’ll just tell you and if i can…I WILL SMASH IT.

That came out of nowhere. But only because i keep having these flashbacks of my Hollywood times, where we (my friends and I)  all needed help and couldn’t find it ANYWHERE. Some people banked their dreams on people’s words, instead of looking for actions. I was one of them. Well hen i was a young 20 something anyhow…Yet West Hollywood and pavement pounding in a world of Entertainment, going from audition to audition, toughened me up and i caught on fast. Later on in life, as i grew up and did a it better, it reminded me to never let anyone down. OR to at least be honest when it came to my capabilities. *The gin and tonic is now getting poured.*

Anyway, away from that i’m actually feeling pretty good! It’s my birthday in EXACTLY SIX DAYS. I’ll be turning thirty six, which is hideous on all levels, but hilarious all at the same time. I don’t know whether i want a loud one or a quiet one. But i’ll celebrate the day i was born, as why not!!! If you can’t celebrate your birthday what can you celebrate. People always forget to celebrate who they are, the day they were born and the days like that that matter. But we’ll fricking celebrate everything else won’t we?

I’m excited for Christmas, as when you’re older, having kids makes Christmas time magical again. I get to relive the magic with Ruby and Junior almost every day through December and it’s such a marvel to them, that it makes every inch of my soul smile. I’m radiating this magical glow of giggly happiness. Just seeing their excitement for make believe and magic is wonderful. Its what dreams are made of.

Infact, I don’t know how any adult, without kids, celebrates Christmas? Drinks with friends, mistletoe kisses with the boyfriend? Family dinners with the in laws? It’s just not as magical is it? I mean what do you do, other than drink wine and mull around by yourself in a party hat with ‘Spice World’ on in the background.

But nonetheless, i really do hope you all have the most magical Christmas ever, regardless as to what you do? Or who you’re with? Or how you choose to spend it! As long as you’re doing what you want and you’re happy with the whole shabam, then surely it’s mulled wine flavoured  *can can* kicks all around.

Saying that, as much i as I adore Christmas, I won’t lie, there was a part of me today that wished that I could *blink* and find myself floating around, in a neon inflatable ring, with my sunglasses on, the sun blazing down on my little kitty tan and with an eye watering, fruity umbrella drink in my hand and a handsome pool boy galloping around me asking me if i needed a cocktail top up.

I only needed it for a *blink* which means i must be happy really. So what if it chucked it down in Pontefract today. We have friend egg Haribo Chistmas lights above us and if that doesn’t make life perfect, then i don’t know what does! 🙂 I hate it when it rains on me when i have to go to Greggs to buy a pasty. Nothing is shitter, than doing that scrunched up run, with your head down and a a scowl face on…whilst holding a steak bake.

Infact, no, i’m wrong…DOING A STRETCHY ARMED WEE ON A PUBLIC LOO, TO KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED is shitter. 🙂 That’s really put me off Tiger Tiger hasn’t it! Lol. I’m going to Gino D’Acampo’s new Leeds restaurant next week, to give it a try and swirl out a blog. They’re excited for me to go, which makes it all even more ‘giddy’ for me. I like it when people or venues are excited for me to show up. i get all juiced about it, as it turns it into an adventure for me.

I bet they have PERFECT LOCKS on their toilet doors there! 😉