Life Magic, Workaholics & Privacy Please…

Happy Sunday! I’m feeling great. I had a proper ‘chill day’ yesterday and I’m enjoying every single second of it. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive and as long as that feeling is still infusing it’s way, through my little kitten soul, then i’m happy! 🙂 I’m really happy. I do get stressed, as I tend to worry more than necessary. Yet, over the last few years, i’ve kinda just trained myself to let life take it’s natural course of ‘ooh laa.’

I don’t know why I didn’t learn that sooner, when I was in LA? I went through SO MUCH, I wish you could see into my mind, as I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Lol.

Prep, practice, caution and all sorts of other logical things, DO MAKE SENSE. (I’m not a logical person, I spent my teens wishing upon stars. I spent the first part of my 20’s following ‘The Secret’ and the rest of the time doing tequila dances with my fingers crossed. 🙂 )

 YET, there’s always an overpowering *magic*…a LIFE MAGIC, that no matter how much you prep,‘ how long you ‘practice’ or how carefully you tread…that ‘magic’ bursts out of nowhere and glistens your situation with ‘destiny.’ It’s something you can’t control…It’s in the air and whirls by with an ‘everything happens for a reason‘ flag.

What’s yours, is yours. What you’re meant to get, you will. If it’s not meant to be part of your story…It won’t be.

I’ve had two days off picture taking and it’s actually felt like bliss. 🙂 I woke up this morning, Junior (my baby son) was spooning my left arm, before going off to his Dads. The babies are my entire world. They just make my life, so complete. I LOVE THEM MADLY. I can’t even tell you.

But, with them both at their dads, I had loads of time to just indulge in wearing my comfies, ( I say ‘comfies’ i’m usually topless, because it makes me feel free.) Then I chilled and started smearing my new ‘Bee Venom’ cream all over my face, before peacefully checking through my ‘socials.’

(Which reminds me..I just need to send someone a Whatsapp. One sec…

…Eww! Lol…They’ve read it and ignored it.)

What I’m gonna tell you about the ‘Bee Venom’ cream, I’ve been using (and I use the one by Venom Skincare,)  is that it’s actually AMAZING. And I wouldn’t just say that. It’s the only cream that i’ve put on my face in the morning, that has actually made me *squeak* because it felt so fresh and blissful. I’m not at all kidding. It’s by VENOMSKINCARE.CO.UK.  And since my diet’s out the window, (I could eat a flipping donkey right now,) I at least need my FACE to look halfway decent, as I grow older.

Yes, I did have it sent to me to try…But sometimes you get sent a lot of things, that areokayish.’ This is the OPPOSITE. It actually feels amazing and to me, what something FEELS LIKE, is so important…be it cream, situations or matters of the heart.

I seem to be able master everything, expect the ‘matters of the heart’ part of my life, but i’ll get there. If i was put on this Earth to learn anything, over and over again…it would be about love.  I don’t exactly know why, i’ve always had the most difficult love life…? Yet, as least i’m tinkering along with a smile on my face, right? Lol.

I don’t stress about it, because regardless i’m happy, i’m lucky and as always….that part of my life, will sort itself out naturally.

I’ve just watched Jamie Foxx peel off his headphones and walk out of a ‘live’ interview because they asked him about Katie Holmes…It’s a subject that they both obviously wish to keep to themselves. They want it out of the public eye, because it’s something they have chosen to cherish privately.

I don’t get why people refuse to respect peoples *wish* for privacy, at times? If they wanted to tell us all about it, they would! There’s tons of other couples who don’t mind celebrating their love out in the open, out loud, for all to see. They don’t want to…and that’s fine!

Dating’s hard enough, without the world prying on in with their ‘2 cents here and 4 cents there.’ They come in all armed and excited for the gossip, thinking they know the WHOLE entire story, when they actually know nothing. Nothing’s worse than the ‘think they knows.’ 

It’s kinda put me off really showbizzy,tell all relationships. I’m not one to mind telling people about bits of my love life, or picturing the happy moments, that I’d care to share… I don’t mind that all.

Yet, I wouldn’t like ‘think they knows’ tumbling in, looking for cracks, or nonsense, to prise open. I’d hate to wake up in the morning, look on my newsfeed and see that I was ‘apparently breaking up’ with someone or that the person i loved had run off and had rampant sex with some chick, behind my back.

That doesn’t sound like fun to me. It sounds like absolute hell. It turns love into entertainment, which is fine, but for me, it takes me away from what love is really about. If i love someone truly, I love them madly and i’d hate to have it ripped to pieces to fill gossip pages. So good on Jamie Foxx, for shaking his head, peeling off his headphones and walking away from his ‘live’ interview, with total ‘stay out of my shit’ swag!

BOOM!

Work wise, i’m really excited because i’m about to film and shoot, the online advert for this blog, my blog, my diary,

CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM

It’s only a short online advert, but it’ll be so much fun to do. I’ll love every single second of it and that’s all that matters. I’ll enjoy it. It already feels so exciting and I love the whole creative aspect of it all. I can imagine it in my head and that alone keeps me happy. Lol

These last few days off have been wonderful. You’ve got to have balance. Even if you’ve chosen a job that you adore. I love what I do. Yet, for me.. being a workaholic doesn’t fit well. It’s 10 sizes too small. I was made for fun and pleasure and when you’re a ‘Lone Parent,’ Mum of two…You can’t just constantly prioritize work, because without balance, it’s not fair on them or in fact anyone you love.

On their death bed, no one wishes they worked more! And if they just so happened to, I feel bad that they never experienced the joy of love.

God! I went on a rant again. Maybe I should get back to working harder… 🙂

Ps/ I didn’t dream of Dwarves last night.

 

 

 

 

I Can’t Park, Love & Birthdays…

 

I can’t park for toffee! Honestly. I drive around glamourously…

Jiggly Jill: ‘No, you don’t. You sing along to Little Mix and drive DIAGONALLY ACROSS car parks, to get to a spot, where there are lanes and arrows and all kinds of roady shit.’

Anyway…then when it comes to actually having to pull up and park, I just can’t get my head around ‘da moves’ and it all just goes wrong. I tried to do the school run this morning. The car park was so busy, filled with Mums, Dads, Nannies & navy blazers…But could I get in a spot and park up.

COULD I **** (I’ll let you put in a word of your choice there.)

I did some 40 point car shuffle, still didn’t squeeze into the spot, got flustered at myself, Ruby & Junior are laughing in the backseat because I’m getting angry at myself…so I had to reverse, drive off and find a side road…just to get the children into school on time. 🙂 It wasn’t even a tight spot. It was just a normal parking spot.

Me: ‘This is why I hate coming late! I need an empty car park in order for me to be able to PARK.’

Ruby: ‘You’re an idiot.’

(And that’s coming from the Heir to the Wunna Land throne. I mean, who creates a human, squeezes them out of their privates, loves them, nurtures them, feeds them, guides them…and then has to look at the back seat and hear them calling you a fool.  LOL)

One day i’ll just get driven, so I don’t have to park anywhere that has more than NO CARS around me. 🙂

Love is in the air right? I feel it. I feel it swirling through each one of us, as we ‘almost’  tinker on into February. Everyone’s getting engaged. Everyone’s falling for heros. Everyone’s girly giggling over crushes and it’s making my newsfeed feel delicious.

I Like it.

(Even though I don’t have a Valentine Date and will therefore have to order myself roses…which is code for ‘rum’ to make me feel better, OR just pretend it’s not happening…so I don’t feel as bad. Lol If in doubt. BLOCK IT OUT.)

No, but honestly, it’s just lovely seeing you all so happy and being so open about being happy and in love! It’s a wonderful thing expression and it’s just great to finally have a newsfeed filled with people saying,

‘This girl though…’

‘Honestly, have the most beautiful wife…’

‘Soooo in love…’

‘Couldn’t be without her…’

‘I’m the luckiest girl in the world…’

‘She said *YES*’

It’s like i’m peeking through a giant glass window, looking on in at you all, from my sassy Wunna Land throne…as the Butler, who is obviously, half naked and in a Greek Toga pours me another Prosecco into my frosted iced chalice. I imagine him being from an exotic land and has been taught to only respond to Wunna Land commands…

‘More Wine.’

‘I said BOUJI!!’

I’m never worried about my love life….The right guy will always find you and make you his, if he wants you that badly enough. You meet when you’re meant to. It’s timing. Life timing. Plus, it’s a guys natural instinct.  All boys are Heros really. We girls are just able to tend to being heroic, without the use of a prompt. 🙂

So, if you’re single and can’t seem to mingle…Don’t worry. He’ll find you. He’s coming for you. (Hopefully, he’s not creepy. I totally made that sound creepy, instead of lovely. 🙂  Firmonnell sent me a creepy cartoon picture of herself yesterday, in a hole….like a mole….It was our ‘Miss You Monday,‘ day. We have a chick cyber banter every Monday afternoon.)

Firmonnell: ‘Maybe we can have real life Monday Meet Up’s Wunna! Lol’

Me: ‘We’ll do next Monday!’

(Do know, that she’s just being needy, as I did see her almost every single DAY of 2017. Lol When she’s not needy, i’m like ‘HELLLLOOOO, WHY ARE YOU NOT NEEDING ME!’ When she IS needy…I have to point it out, but secretly love it! 🙂 )

I had a quick meet up with *Big A* from ‘House of Solo’ magazine yesterday afternoon. He was running late, so I ended up having drinks with my old school friend Kate, Jodie and a dog, by a fire place. Apparently one got ‘lost down a puddle‘ and the other had ‘no face on.’

When *Big A* got arrived, he was all stressed out. Obviously he runs a Fashion Magazine. He owns it. With owning things…comes STRESS.  I mean, he’s working with some of the biggest artists an models globally right now, so it’s mayhem.

He’s a creative, so he’s good at all the ‘creative shit.’ But when it comes down to the ‘nitty gritty,’ the business, the being organized …He  lets it overwhelm him, buries his head in the sand and maybe hides a bit. Lol. Which we all know is fun!

(I literally had a day in LA, it was a Wednesday, where I woke up, read something shitty, had hundreds of emails bombard me at once, thought my life was going to be horrific and still naked, just laid back down in bed, pulled the duvet over my head, and hid… from Wednesday, until around 3pm. And I only got up then because I had an audition at 4.30pm in Burbank.)

So, I emotionally organised *BIG A* and forced ‘do work’ upon him, mid chatter. He’s a sensitive soul, so if you send him a grumpy email, he gets grumpy. I’m insensitive when it comes to things like that. I don’t absorb it. I read a grumpy email…and reply with charm and kindness. I do it all the time.

Like, ‘Big A’ I’m a creative, but when it comes to Wunna Land, I’m good at all the ‘little bits’ as i’m quite organised and i’m used to hearing people moan at me, i’m used to feeling under pressure and well the art of business, PR or attention.

Luckily for me, I don’t OWN a Fashion Magazine (Yipeeee.) I just run my own land…

HURRAH!

I turned ‘living my normal every day life’ into my job, because it was the only thing I loved, the only thing I knew how to do and did well. Plus, it’s easy…and I like things that are easy. 🙂 Slogging away at things that don’t wanna ‘give,’ causes wrinkles…causes stress.

I’m ZEN. I’m like a stress free zone…Apart from when i’m parking.

Big A: ‘I have five shoots this week in London and one in New York. I have to organise them all and I have. But Sony have changed the shoot from New York, to LA…and now back to New York at the last minute. It’s stressful!’

Me: ‘Lol. You just need to get on top of it all. Do you want a drink?’

Big A: ‘No. I’m dieting. How’s all your stuff going…’

Me: ‘Yeah…You’re gonna hate to hear it…But really well. It’s really easy, right now. Lol’

Anyway, I’ve godda fly. I’ve got a ‘doer upper’ that i’m doing doing up. It’s a massive job and a ball ache. I kinda just want to *blink* and it look like a magical fairyland filled with style and class. The result is glamourous, but the ‘grind behind the glamour’ is hard as **** (Use your own word.)

I messaged ‘Happy Birthday’ to someone who I’ve got to know more closely over the last year. I like him. He’s ‘Good People.’ Good soul. Funny guy. Works hard. Interesting. Attractive. But funny. I like funny.

He’s another year older, but ‘still feels young.’ He seems pretty happy, so that’s all that matters. If I flashback through snippets of time and messages….It’s actually been a blast!

Like I remember being sat at a bar, as we were messaging back and forth and then receiving this Snapchat filter from him, of him singing along to The Voice, with the ‘bunny ears’ filter on. Lol.

I opened it, watched it and then my phone flipping DIED on me…so he didn’t get a response until 20 minutes later when I had got the bartender to charge my phone for me, behind the bar. Lol. So, he would’ve totally thought I shunned his comedic popstar operatics. When really I was pissing myself out loud. Even at the moment and that was ages ago…I adored him.

Good Memory.

An example of being young at heart…

I guess we all still feel young underneath it all, don’t we? We’re all just these kids that had to grow up. Haha.

I think those with young spirits always feel fresh. He’ll be 80 and still feel 20. I’ll be 80, dressed like a slapper at the bar, still thinking i’m hot, flirting with 19 year olds, who obviously think i’m hideous…Yet, I’ll be loving it anyway!

Have the most WONDERFUL Tuesday Everyone!

ps/ Happy Birthday Dude. 😉

 

 

 

Passings, Drama & Screensavers…

Things were quite emotional in Wunna Land today. I’m feeling strong and the best thing about feeling tough, is that you don’t give the *niggly bits* importance.

I was meant to head a little bit ‘down south’ today…However, due to life, two schedules couldn’t ‘tango’ as one. I hope they do shortly and…I hope it is JUST schedules and not anything more? But you can’t control the way two paths cross, you can only control you part of the jiggle…and sometimes even then….you kinda have to leave shit to rum.

But I’m happy and i’m the luckiest girl in all the land.

However, again…I was meant to head a little ‘southern,’ today but didn’t and ‘the didn’t part made me realise that sometimes things & situations time out exactly, how they’re meant to.

So, my Grandmother passed over Christmas. I wrote a blog about it and as a family, we all decided to still enjoy the festive season and fully LIVE LIFE….because we watched it slip through someone’s fingers….

Today, my Mum needed me. She’s hard as nails is my Mum, her heart is kitten soft, but she’s found this time quite difficult, yet marched on positively.

The wonderful thing about today, is that she didn’t say that she needed me, i just knew she needed me….and at the last minute, after a school run…I found her, parked up my car, jumped in hers and went with her, to go see my Grandmother’s body laid to rest.

Now, I am THE MOST SQUEAMISH, human being on the planet. I like to thing i’m all sass and ‘boss’ like, yet OH MY GOD, I’ll go through the ‘fandango’ if I have too, but I’ll flitter and screech. I’ll run for the hills barefoot and naked if I have tooo!  I’m brave like that. 🙂 You can count on me to save your life.

(I have my First Aid certificate and when a lady, who had cut OPEN her ACTUAL finger and needed the glamourous ‘FIRST AIDER’ to come to the rescue…I screamed, cried, ran off, had a panic attack and had to get a police man to save her. Lol)

Today, I had walked side by side, with my Mum, to go see my Grandma, who is no longer with us in soul, yet we had to walk into a room and see her body, dressed and laid….for the first time since her passing.

I’ve never done or seen anything like this in my life. I’m even having to breathe OUT, whilst telling you the story..and i’m gonna tell you that initially when the door opened….I panicked…I panicked….My brother panicked and had to run back to the car to breathe. Yet I stood there with my mum. My face blank and arms crossed.  (They say when you stand with your arms crossed you’re either feeling closed off, or insecure, even if you’re stood with a face as hard as nails.)

But I looked to my left and my Mum, who is the strongest person alive…filled up with tears…tears that she tried to control…..She cries, but only when she’s really upset…She doesn’t like to cry in front of me. I never know why?

We both slowly walk up to where my Grandma was laid, fully clothed, ready for Friday and I stood and watched my Mum say her final private words to her…..

Mum: ‘I need to pull myself together…It’s bad luck to cry…’

(We’re an Oriental family…and their are traditions that run through the Burmese…sacred ones, that are magical and enchanting. There’s a respect.)

Me: You can cry mum. She’s passed now. Her souls happy and gone…this is just her body..’

I said it soft, direct, yet warm and made no eye contact with my Mum…and in that moment she let go and cried….

In that moment, I wasn’t her daughter…I was her best friend.

In that moment, I couldn’t have felt stronger, happier and like I had felt and done all the right things, at all the right times…Everything felt really REAL. It was like a magic swirled around us and like the meaning of life hit our hearts.

It wasn’t a morbid time…I don’t want you to think that. It was a warm time, It was filled with support, unconditional love, true friendship, family and blessings.

My Mum smiled like she was going to be okay now. (My Mum’s actually a Doctor, so seeing a body laid to rest isn’t something that gets to her, like it would me…. But of course seeing someone who you love, laid their still, yet peacefully is always a little shocking.)

We said our final farewells. My Grandmother looked so beautiful. My Mother looked so beautiful. I overcame a really big fear…and I can’t tell you what because even though i’m telling you a lot about the moment, there’s a whole lot of emotion that I have chosen to leave out, out of respect.

But I overcame something huge today and as we walked away….we both breathed out and got on with our day, our life, with a much clearer understanding to the way the world works.

I’m never gonna spend another moment of my life unhappy, or unfilled, i’m gonna love everything close to me, with all of my heart. I’m gonna LIVE. I’m gonna make every single dream I have COME TRUE.

I’m gonna make sure that I am always loyal to my own beliefs and to never sell myself short, or let others treat me without care or disrespect. I’m gonna be the greatest MUM, that I can be…I’m gonna smash my career to the skies and back. I’m gonna love. I’m always gonna be the best version of myself. I’m will continue to cut out ‘the negative’ and simply because I don’t have time for it.

A friend of mine was being really negative towards me last night and I just thought ‘fuck this…’ and deleted the ‘chat‘ as their ramblings were drenched in melodrama…because they didn’t feel important in my world anymore….

What I can tell you from that conversation, is to make sure that YOU DO NOT TAKE ADVICE from people…WHO DO NOT KNOW your world, or what they’re talking about….

Me: ‘Stop speaking to me like i’m 17 and dumb…’

Friend: ‘I’m not. I actually think you’re really smart. You obviously don’t know me at all. We’re meant to be friends! Everything i’m saying to you is out of love…’

Me: ‘No it’s NOT. It’s about YOU…Not me. I’m fine. I’m happy. I’m doing well! I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come at me like that…’

Bottom line…I don’t give them advice on their world or how to do their life…So, trying to control my world and my life, when you know nothing about the ‘ins’ the ‘outs’ or the inbetweens….is pretty silly. If I need advice…I’ll ask. And friends aren’t meant to judge me, i’m sure???

But yes…that happened. Lol.

However, the rest of the day went on spritely as normal…It was a great day. I’ve laughed. I’ve jiggled. I’ve worked really hard. I have a few auditions coming up and unlike most…I don’t really prep for them…I just ‘canon ball’ in with my fingers crossed, giving it the old ‘Wunna Land.’ I’m a really lucky girl and when that’s dashed with charm, you’re alright. 😉 I’m juggling really normal things glamourously and i’m on top of it now…I’m even doing the school runs!! I never got to do the school runs before, due to the wrong kinda of schedule.

Lisa: ‘Hiya! How are you. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages..but i’ve seen a lot of you…Lol.’

Me: ‘Lol…yeah I’ve been ‘attention’ building on Facebook.. So there’s boobs everywhere…But I love it. It’s fun.’

Lisa: ‘You’re not doing any harm…go for it. Hahah.’

Then we strutted to the necessary parts of the childrens school playground to pick up our ‘little ones.’

A lot is going on right now.

All good stuff and hopefully my wishes upon stars will all come true. But i’m working on it…I’m working hard.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAD FUN WITH MY COMPETITION AND MADE ME THEIR SCREENSAVER FOR THE DAY!

Every single person who sent me a screenshot will be receiving a personalized picture from me. ALL OF YOU. I’m shooting the pics at the weekend, so you should get them on Sunday, methinks. So do not fret if you haven’t got your picture yet!! They’re coming! I’ve just been busy and If i’m honest, I didn’t actually realize how many of you would take part! I have a very busy weekend of picture taking. Lol.

I appreciate it so much. It shows that there’s still tons of you who love to have fun! But i’m a woman of my word…so your pics will be with you, by Sunday.

It was meant to be in this blog, where I announce the winner….who will recieve a video message! However, due to sudden circumstance today, where my Mum really needed me….it will be in TOMORROW’S BLOG!

So watch out for it!

I love you all so much!

Thank you.

FYI/ Thursday’s pics…are GOOOOD! I love them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naked Sprinkling & Christmas Merriment!

Morning!! I hope you’ve had the most amazing Christmas time! I spent it with my family…ALL The Wunnas, in ALL THE LAND and it couldn’t have been more wonderful. We’re such a close family and to just watch Ruby & Junior be SO EXCITED about the arrival of Santa, just made me kitten heart melt. It’s just amazing.

Having children at Christmas, sets your world on fire with love. And just being around my Mum and Dad etc…was great. I’m a little independant Sasserilla, but I am 100 percent a family girl. It was brilliant! I mean I sat with my Mum over cocktail sausages and watched a bit of Strictly and we just pissed ourselves, as my Dad and Brother had kips. My Dad’s ace because he’ll sit and enjoy a Port with me. (He’s an emotional man, so he may weep during the process. Lol) My Mum’s ace because she’s just an amazing MOTHER. We can sit and watch The Hangover and cry with laughter at the most inappropriate moments.

Mum: ‘I love it when the naked Chinese man jumps out the car boot and humps him!’

(Now, you all get why I have such a rubbish sense of humour. It’s evil!)

But let’s rewind.

So, the evening before. Christmas Eve. A time where some of you are out on the razzle, kissing strangers under the mistletoe, (remember when you were in school and the boys used to attached mistletoe to their trouser belts and try and make you kiss them under it??? Eww! Maybe it was a 90’s thing? Maybe it was a Private School thing? Lol)

Anyway, the rest of you either made your way back home to your families or like moi got your children excited for Christmas morning.

We watched Christmas movies, laid out a mince ie, carrots and milk for Santa and Rudolph. I leave nothing under the tree. Nothing at all. I do the ‘everythign magically appears on Christmas Morning’ thing, which is quite practically a ball ache.

So, I let Junior leave his ‘boobie traps’ for Santa…and I tinkered the babies upstairs for a big sleep.

OH MY LORD!!

(By this point i’d filled my soul with champagne.)

MY KIDS, ofcourse DO NOT want to go sleep and instead insist that they are going to CAMP OUT ALL NIGHT IN MY ROOM, WATCHING FOR SANTA TO f**&(*$*&&&* ARRIVE!!!  They set up some crazy blanket tent, with snacks and standed guard.

So, I had to pretend to fall asleep. Junior was on Team Mum, because I had manipulated him with love 😉 …so he got into bed with me first…then Ruby followed at about midnight, because she FINALLY FELT EXHAUSTED.

I too, unfortunately fell asleep at this point. Champers, full bellies and discreet present wrapping had killed me off for a while. My ENTIRE FAMILY (as in my Mum, Dad, and Brother, were also staying at mine, to watch the babies open their presents in the morning.)

I WAS COMPLETELY NAKED.

Laid on top of my sheets, because my brother had turned the HEAT ON, some kinda crazy ‘full blast.’ Now, I like it hot…but I had to fling my giant fox onesie off, like a budget stripper gram, in order to just BREATHE and feel cold air on my skin.

But yes, there I was starfish naked, on my sheets…and my Mum ‘nudges’ me up with a..

‘Get up, you need to put all the gifts under the tree…’

So, I fling on some satin pj polka dot bottoms, a tshirt, a giant white faux fur and a pair of cream heels…like ALL THE FASHION DISASTERS IN ONE…tip toe out, half asleep to my car, gather all the pre wrapped good from y back seat ant boot, that i’d shoved in a giant plastic carrier bag and hidden under a Little Mistress faux fur…dragged them into the house, plonked all the presents under the tree…nibbled carrots like the reindeers had had a go at them, drank a cup of milk and made it look ‘spilt’ (because Santa’s so busy) and then ate half a mince pie…which I HATE. I despise a mince pie.

At this point I was filled with glee, because I had completed my Mummy duties…So ofcourse I Snapchat it, like i’m some kinda ‘Hero,’ take everything off and get back in bed. I also swigged a mouthful of Baileys OUT THE FUCKING BOTTLE, before I tucked myself in, because i’m classy like that. (Shut up, it was Christmas.)

Got settled, felt like the comfiest soul in the world, then…

JUMPED UP WITH FEAR!!

I’d totally forgotten that I needed to sprinkle out Santa’s footprints.

SO, not being arsed to put any clothes on because it was  STILL BOILING and I hadn’t had the sense to just turn the heating down…I get out of bed FULLY STARKERS…RUMMAGE IN A BAG, where I had hidden some ‘Lemon Fresh’ Shake & Fresh….and in the complete NUDE….and in the half dark, I totter around my house, holding this green ‘shake and vac’  shaker, sprinkling Santa’s snow footprints all over my home.  The footprints made no sense. Nudity made no sense. I got to bed around 2am.

It was all totally worth it!

The next morning, we all had a lay in and the shock on their faces made my entire world complete.

I had the best Christmas Day!

It was filled with family, love and glamourous hilarity.

I whopped out my breakfast platter, I cooked, we danced to Christmas songs, we opened presents, we drank..OH I DRANK MY ENTIRE BODY WEIGHT IN EVERYTHING…i need to stop….and after messaging all my friends abroad and someone here that I care about, then sending the babies off to their daddies in the evening…

I settled down with my Mum and we watched a ginger Rugby player Oli visit the First Dates restaurant and go on a date with Kat…for us all to watch and judge. Lol  (I loved their date. He gifted her with a photo of his butt. J I love that show. There’s a magic to it..A magic that everyone can relate to.)

Today, I’m spending some time with my Mum and Dad. I need to get out of my pyjamas at some point…and then i’m headed to The Carleton to meet my chicks friends for a couple of drinky poos!

Have an amazing Boxing Day!

Please follow all my ‘Socials’ as I’ll be on my ‘stories’ more than anything right now.

Twitterr: chrissiewunna

Snapchat: Chrissiewunna1

Instagram: Chrissiewunna

Facebook: Chrissie Wunna (Fan Page.)

 

London, Thai Brides & ‘The Worm’ in Budapest

I arrived at Kings Cross Station at around noon, after getting stuck in Peterborough for a sassy short while, which was after an evening of ‘good times’ with Zanetti at Mission Leeds.

I slept on the way there, so I didn’t feel dodgy at all, to be fair. I did good. I’m pretty good at prioritizing, these days. If I need to be somewhere, no matter where life has taken me the evening before, I’ll be there. It can honestly be the crack of dawn. If it’s important, i’ll be there.

I had a really important meeting in London….so I made it there, in one glamourous piece, after a snuggle with my babies and a snooze on an early morning Sunday train. (Sunday trains are busier than you think. They’re annoying because everyones reserved a seat, meaning you think you have nowhere to sit, However, no one shows up for their seats because they’re hung over or can’t be arsed,….meaning you’re sat or stood somewhere you didn’t want to be and for no real reason at all.)

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Now, again…I can’t tell you anything about my meeting, other than the fact that it was a PR meeting, a career meeting and that I was greeted outside Platform 3, at Kings Cross Station.

After attempting to chat ‘work,’ at Five Guys, where the music was too loud, the tables were wibbly and with a Corona in my kitten hand.

‘What? It’s the hair of the dog? I’ve been up all night…’

(I love that I can rock up to a meeting, in a giant white faux fur, sit in a burger joint, order a Corona at 12.01 and simply smile with a..

 ‘I did a Launch Party last night. I’m knackered. Everyone was there. I really need this Corona. Anyway…yeah….where’s my career headed, doll?’

‘We need to go somewhere else. I can’t even hear you. It just needs to be quieter, so I can take notes and chat about everything.’

We moved to a much more peaceful venue, where you could talk career, Wunna Land and the art of ‘moving forward.’ I definitely looked like a ‘Mail Order Bride’ (i always flipping do and it’s annoying.) But after 2 hours and after dreams and hopes were bagged up and scheduled, I popped into the Great Northern Hotel for a quick Merlot before my train back onto Northern soil. (I love the GNH because the couldn’t be nicer to me. The service is impeccable, I have hundreds of tales to tell, from that joint, the cocktails are a dream, they decorate their ceilings with giant chandeliers and because it’s right next to my train home, i’m two steps away from safety.)

Yet, these days, things are simple in Wunna land are they?

OFCOURSE a strange woman found me immediately. Ofcourse, she sat with me and wanted to tell me all about how rubbish her love life was because the guy she had been dating, wasn’t over his (believe it or not) Thai Bride. Lol. I listened. I tried to be helpful. But she didn’t want help. She just wanted a moan and a selfie.

My phone rang and it was ‘London Business Man’ and because I actually TOOK the call, and stopped giving her attention for ONE SECOND, she got in a mood and started calling me  a prostitute…because I ‘looked like one?‘ Lol

Cheers, Cuteness!

I was literally ON THE PHONE, to one of my REAL LIFE FRIENDS and she kept talking over me, to me and making me leave the guy (‘Billy’) who apparently doesn’t love her anymore, actual VOICEMAILS.

Me: ‘Billy doesn’t need to talk to me… I’m on the phone.’

It was crazy. She turned crazy. It all went tits up!

She eventually left and I was kinda glad, because I hate rude people. I’ll sit and chat to anyone. I’m great like that. But don’t be a melodramatic twit over nothing…then take it out on me. I didn’t cheat on you with a Mail Order Bride.

By this time, I had moved outside, (like ya do) and  as London traffic whizzed me by…. I just wished I was home. When you’re knackered…travelling is THE WORST. But ofcourse she followed me, with her luggage on wheels…and in her drunken state, just rambled on about how hard done by she was…because of Thai Brides. 🙂

 It felt looooooooooooong.

I eventually got home. I couldn’t wait to get home. I was finally back on Northern soil. I even text my mum from the train (lol) just for comfort….. and that night I went to bed at 9pm and slept like a baby, ready for my next day, my next early morning of work.

Last weekend was MAD. One minute I was with Santa, the next I was watching Tom Zanetti throw dwarves at people in Leeds, then I blinked and I was in a huge PR meeting in London with a Corona, and then underneath a chandelier some drunk lady decided to take out her history with Thai Brides out on me, whilst telling me she was a fan of my blog. (Kinda hope you’re not reading this.) 

Luckily, the great thing about life is that things quickly go back to normal, doesn’t it? Let me tell you that my faith in sanity and Wunna Land has now been restored.

I mean anytime you saunter into a room, on the 2nd floor of a building and ‘Hustle Barbie’ says,

‘I woke up in a bikini, after a SPATY (which is a pool party in a spa,) at six o clock in the morning, on the floor… in Budapest, before having to come home to Leeds…..’

…you know all is well.

She actually also performed ‘The Worm’ for a bunch of Hungarian men (which is her party piece when drunk and once they watched her do it, they looked at her and just went with ‘Nah….’

‘You always do the worm…’

‘Yeah, cos EVEYRONE MAKES ME!!!! My arms still hurt.’

I had a phone call yesterday, whilst I was tinkering into Marks & Sparks for a quick salad. This phone call was from the same human, who gave the ‘the shocking phone call’ a couple of weeks back. I hadn’t spoken to them since. I had just left them to do their own version of life.

Last night, I didn’t blog because after a mad weekend and a Parents Evening for Ruby, (fyi/ Ruby’s parents evening was amazing, completely different to the one I had to go through with Keiran, for Junior.  I don’t even know how Juniors teacher and I got through it without having to guzzle 42 wines? But yes, Ruby’s parents evening was an opposite kind of experience . Pete sat there and filled up with ‘I’m so proud of her’ tears, which means a lot doesn’t it? I mean, we’re not together and haven’t been for years, but we co parent with such ease and love for our little one….that it’s magical.

I love Ruby and Junior with every inch of my soul, so after a really busy weekend of work and madness….ALL I WANTED AND NEEDED was to spend my time with THEM. Even tonight, we’ve had the most peaceful yet hilarious evening together….and I just watch them grow up before my very eyes with amazement. I’m a really lucky girl. They make my entire world worth it.  I mean, we may have our ‘ups’ and we certainly have our ‘downs,’ yet regardless there is such a deep love and strong bond between the three of us.  We make each other feel really special.

Anyway,where was I? I keep going on these tangents!!

Today, the guy that I can’t tell you anything about yet, who had made the ‘shocking phone call’ a few weeks ago, had also called me twice last night. I missed the calls because I was in bed early. However, this afternoon, whilst I was in a creepy cellar with a Beth, learning the alphabet, I called him back to see what he wanting.

This human NEVER FAILS to shock me. So i’m there in this cellar, now looking at bottles of prosecco, with the alphabet around my cobwebbed heels, shouting sentences at him, in order to conjour up some form of sense, clarity and ‘now what we gonna do’s?’ It was hilarious. These shocking phone calls are always left with an ambiguous ending , where anything could occur….? In the New Year, I’ll tell you ALL about it. Right now…I’m just not allowed to. Lol But we’re gonna have to meet up and talk through everything…recap and recoup…..The only thing I can tell you about the convo is this….

Guy: ‘My situation’s changed….’

Me: ‘Well you need to sort it out because…’

Don’t hang out in cellars..they’re creepy. EVEN IF, there is unopened Prosecco in there.

Regardless to all that, i’m home. I’m working tomorrow. I’ve chilled all night with the babies. ‘London Business Man’ said he was wanted to take me out to dinner. Junior has become obsessed with the calculator on my phone. Ruby has braided my hair, so that I too can be a unicorn? I’m sipping a wine. I’m really missing someone. My feet hurt. My phone won’t charge. I’m second guessing myself. I’m so proud of Australia for VOTING YES, on marriage equality. I’m learning to concentrate on what I’M DOING and not on what EVERYONE ELSE is doing.

But life on the whole is WONDERFUL.

I’m the luckiest girl in the world!

Adam & Steve…

I’m headed to Liverpool today, to shimmie in a ‘Whinge of The Week’ with Ian Walker. I don’t even know what i’m going to do or say? But i know they’ll be prosecco, so i’ll show up and love it. Infact, he’s just messaged me and I think i’ve got all my times mixed up.

I’m currently sat on the edge of my bed, with Pink ‘So What’ playing in the background, the brightest, most misleading sun beam is thrashing it’s way through my window and onto my laptop screen, so I actually cant’ SEE anything i’m typing and i’m having a bad face and hair day. (One of those days where your face goes wrong and your hair follows suit. Yipppeee.)

It’s freezing. I’m freezing. Rocco the kitten is galloping around me. I’ve knocked over a random can of Pepsi that one someone has accidentally left by my bedside table FLOOR and everythings ‘chappy.’ You’ll have no clue what I mean. Infact I’m surprised I do right now. But all my face is dry and my lips are chapped. I’m  CHAPPY. I need a big oily ‘once over.’ (Now Rocco, the kitten has leapt onto my dressing table and kicked foundation all over the floor!

What is today!

I’ve just done the school run and the positive is that nothing was sweeter than showing up with Ruby and hearing Junior shout with GLEE, when he saw us. (He stayed at his dad’s last night.)

‘MAAAAAAAAAMA! RUBY!!!’

I had Junior’s parent’s evening last night. It was a nightmare. I mean, Keiran and I (Keiran is Junior’s Father,) we’re divorced and we co parent the best way we know how. BUT GOSH, we have COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY different views, on how our child should be raised. Keiran’s turned into this massive Jehovah’s Witness (yes) and tenderly FORCES that lifestyle onto Baby Junior.

Junior has been raised in WUNNA LAND. My Land. A land where in which fun, glamourosity, no judgement and cosy Mama Love fills the air. And to me…the two worlds are so different, that it’s all a bit nuts…and that is affecting my son, his education and his basic lifestyle beliefs. He’s 4. It’s too much for him. I’m not having it. Let him be 4! I let Junior be 4! There’s no pressure in Wunna Land. He loves it.

It’s nearly Christmas and Junior, Ruby, The Wunna’s and I are gonna dedicate it to family fun, traditions and the festive season…not praising Jehovah, not pulling him away from school, to worship Jehovah..NOT reading the Bible instead and ‘Christmas Dance Offs’ with Ruby, FOR Jehovah. NO Jehovah!

MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmKAY!

I mean anytime you have uttered these sentences in a PRIVATE Parents evening….

‘Adam and Eve were the original humans created by GOD…’

‘Adam and Eve! What if it was Adam & STEVE….You’d have to be okay with that! Junior might turn around one day and tell you that he’s gay!’

‘HE WON’T.’

‘Adam and Steve. That’s gonna be the title to my next blog!’

‘I don’t believe in Christmas. I don’t want him to do anything Christmassy.’

‘No! I want him to do Christmas. He loves the play. He’s so excited for it all. I don’t want him to miss that! I don’t want him to miss Christmas Jumper day, or cracker making. Or anything!!!!’

‘I don’t pull him out of school for anything entertainmenty, so you can’t pull him out of school for anything religious.’

‘What are your views on Sexual preferences?’

‘He’s behind in school.’

‘That Bible was so badly written…’

‘I love your blog.’

‘Your blog is written by Satan. IT’S ALL SATAN.’

‘You’ll be sorry. You’ll BOTH know i’m right, when the world ends and you don’t go to paradise. You’ll both remember this day and be like AH! KEIRAN WAS RIGHT!’

‘I can’t even imagine you two EVER being married to one another.’

‘All this must be a lot of pressure on Junior. He’s only four and already is learning to be one way in Wunna Land and one way with Keiran.’

‘What! It’s cos he’s a boy. I was just the same.’

‘It’s got nothing to do with gender Keiran!’

‘I’m gonna have to agree with Chrissie.’

‘You’re focusing on the wrong thing Keiran. Just seeing him happy and smiling because he’s so excited about Christmas is what matters!’

‘It used to be a lot worse than this. This is the best we’ve got along.’

‘Do you actually even KNOW what Christmas is ABOUT. It’s satanic. Halloween is the worst!!

‘I’m not religious. Christmas is more of a fun tradition to me.’

‘I am SO SORRY. I bet this is the worst parent’s evening you’ve ever had. Haha. It’s like a flipping show.’

‘You need to flash card him. I mean you’re lucky he’s in a private school because I can sit with him personally and help him.’

‘I’m not against him being in a private school. I just didn’t have the same upbringing. It’s fine for Chrissie. She came to this school. I only got a GSCE in PE. School didn’t interest me.’

‘ I think you need to do your meetings separately from now on. It might be best.’

‘I never have to go through this with Pete, when it’s Ruby’s Parents Evening.’

I MEAN HONESTLY! How crazy can a simple Parents Evening be! Keiran get’s so ‘gun ho’ about things with a passion that not even the strongest soul of a lion could tame. His passion makes him forget to focus on what matters sometimes and that..to us……is Junior.

Then it was sad, because when parents evening was over and we had both walked outside, back into the carpark. It was now the dark of night. My mum had waited in the car with Junior and Ruby the whole time. Tuesday night,’is a night where Junior sleeps over at Keirans.

Ruby & Junior had been having so much fun with Grandma in the car, that when Keiran came to take him, he didn’t want to go. He cried, he screamed and looked at me whilst shouting,

‘Just take me home Mum. Just take me home!!’

And it’s in those moments at night, where you’re stood in the cold, at thirty six, with your two children, your mum, in a giant faux fur, on the 7th of November, by a coal grey Mercedes, in a Private School car park, in Ackworth, Yorkshire…and all you want to do is cuddle your baby son..but you can’t because you have to watch him be picked up and pulled away to go to Daddy’s, as he looks at you and cries.

Those moments are hard. Those moments are really hard. Yet i’m taught myself to champion them.

As soon as I got into the car, Ruby looked at me and smiled…

Ruby: ‘I know your heart is breaking mum. I’m sad too. I miss Junior. But you still have ME tonight!!!’

(She beams at me.)

I pause.

My mum is looking at me, through the front mirror of the car. I’m in the back. Then as I breathe out, I too BEAM with the warmest smile, look to my left at Ruby and simply say, like the happiest, most excited person in all the world…

‘Yeah Babe. You’re right. I love you Roo. Let’s have some fun. How was school today??’

..Cos that’s what Mum’s do.

The car engine started and as my Mum smiles at me through the front mirror, we drive home.

It was GREAT seeing Junior this morning!

I’m off to Liverpool. Shit! And i’ve got a phone call to make. Don’t let me forget! Oh no! I thought it was an afternoon Liverpool thing, but it’s an evening!

Are the Northern Trains dodgy today?Why are they all cancelled??

Godda go.

Gino’s, High Fashion Mags & Loading Bays

Gino’s was great on Friday. It was the perfect treat to celebrate my soul, after a trip to Candy Mechanics. As soon as I pushed through that magical glass entrance and into the stylish, baby blue, sanctuary of Italian life, light and love…I was immediately greeted with warmth, a gust of ‘part of the family’ and a distinct zap of (what I call) ‘boujiness.

‘Hi Chrissie! How ARE you! Great to see you again!’

(Almost like i’d never left.)

The beautiful hostess beamed with ‘Wunna’ delight and stylish Italian manager came over, for hugs and ‘welcome back’ kisses. I always feel at home, whenever I walk through those doors. There’s no place like it for me. It’s cosy and immaculate, yet filled with a fun, sophisticated, Italian vibe. Whenever I go, I’m treated so well, that all that’s left to do is to enjoy a freshly frosted glass of prosecco. It’s m perfect. ‘relax after a busy work day’ haunt.

Me: ‘I’m just gonna grab a drink, if that’s okay? I’m on my own.’

Hostest: ‘Do you need me to take your coat?’

Me: ‘No, no, i’m fine thank you. I’ll just head down to the Prosecco bar.’

She smiled like I knew my way…(and I know my way to any Prosecco bar…blind) and as I sauntered down the stairway, I cheekily glimpsed around the restaurant.

It was all a bustle, almost every table filled with good times, families and friends. Infact, it was really quite busy for 2pm on a Friday! I couldn’t see an empty table. Even when I got down to the Prosecco bar for a quiet drink (the prosecco bar was peaceful, I was the only one sat at the bar) the downstairs restaurant was also full. It was filled with a party of handsome, excited, stylish young men. Guys! The boys! They looked like they were celebrating something? But who knows? They had fun! They ordered THE BEST of everything in the entire place! Their bill actually came to a shocking amount and the great thing about them, was that they didn’t care one bit because they had spent it on ‘good times’ and memories.

I looked over at the lady behind the bar, who had already asked me what I’d like..and with a wink and a smile…my frosted glass of prosecco was right there in front of me.

*Looks down at phone.*

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where you at? I’m in Leeds.’

Me: ‘Ginos. You coming? I’ve only got 7 percent battery life…My phone’s gonna die.’

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Yeah. Cool. Stay there. Be there in 20 mins. No. 30 mins.’

Incase you’ve forgotten, Abeiku Arthur is one of my good, good friends. He owns the high fashion magazines, ‘House of Solo’ and ‘Pentagon.’ I love our impromptu catch ups, as we always end up talking business, work and banter. We have these personas of swag, style and grace….(well my ‘grace’ is dipped in moderate SASS,) yet if you were to actually sit in, on one of our conversations, you’d probably DIE of actual ‘holy shitness.’ Nothing is more OPEN than our conversations. He brings the ‘gangsta’ our in me.

Anyway, i’m sat at the bar, sipping prosecco by myself, happily taking selfies and snapchatting life at Gino’s. I’m running out of charge because of this Tom Foolery, and if i HATE anything, I truly dislike running out of charge. (If you know me personally, you will know that I ALWAYS carry a charger.)

Luckily, whilst I was sat at the bar, I noticed a guy sat at the end of the bar, on a laptop, that had a wire that mysteriously disappeared under the bar.

I followed the magical wire with my eyes…and BOOM, I ungracefully plonked my head rapidly under the bar and OH MY LORD, HAVE ALL THE MERCY, to my absolute DELIGHT, under the bar, was charger point HEAVEN. Hundreds of sockets. Life! Light! My heart may have skipped a beat. I plugged in and charged up…Yet weirdly I did it sneakily, because you do don’t you for some reason, when you’re charging your phone in public places? There’s a sense of ‘am I meant to be doing this’ about the whole situation. But you do it anyway?

Abeiku Arthur shows up, with some vintage camera that he’s bought from some vintage store, and takes photos of me to adjust his flipping focus.

We talk work. We talk life. We talk banter. We have some many stories that would shock your soul, it’s almost hilarious. We’re both hustlers. We’re both determined. We both have businesses that have accidentally done well. I love ‘House of Solo’ because I know how hard he works and how bad he wants success. Were both hustlers by nature. I do it glamorously. He does it dipped in a swaggalicious dash of ‘high fashion.’ He loves ‘Wunna Land’ and chrissiewunna.com because, who flipping doesn’t? 😉 But really, to him, i’m amazing because i’m honest. I’m real. We always have these bets on with each other and there has NEVER been ANYTHING SO FAR that I have SAID i’m going to do, that I haven’t done YET! Well..apart from ONE THING.

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where’s my money! You ain’t done that at all!’

Me: ‘Fuck off. It isn’t Christmas yet. I said CHRISTMAS! Anyway, I have a tab open, order a drink if you want.’

‘Nah, it’s cool. I’ll get mine.’

‘You do know, i’m getting a cocktail after this…’

‘You’re not, i’ve parked in a loading bay, so we’re on a timer. You have to come with me to see this chick, who’s got  some camera lights that I need to look at…Oh! I have PR now.’

‘Really who…?’

We finish our drinks, we chat about our next career stop offs. We snapchat and get annoyed at the fact that the double ‘bunny ears’ filter, only commits to one. ME! 🙂  It plays with you doesn’t it?

One face ALWAYS has the ‘bunny ears’ and the other face has to tilt and meander in order to get a ‘look in.’ But it lies to you and tells you that you can BOTH ENJOY ‘bunny ears’ at the exact same time with EASE. There’s no ease about it. You end up in the most awkward head alignment, for absolutely no other reason, than showing people that you’re in a place, with someone or no one, with ‘bunny ears’ on your head…and even worse, we only use a filter because it makes us look better!

Abeiku Arthur: ‘MAN! Where are my bunny ears!!!!’

Me: ‘Ugh! Are we really gonna do Autumn Leaves now…!!’

(He’s doing really well right now. I mean, from Interviews with ‘The Script’ and the guy who sings the ‘She my Bestie, Bestie, she may Bestie’ song 🙂 , dashed with Gucci, Prada, Vogue writers, and Fashion week galore. He could’ve done a lot worse or himself. Lol.)

Abeiku Arthur: ‘And you’re the girl that’s managed to turn the story of her life into big bucks.’

Me: ‘As if you’ve parked in a loading bay.’

Life was great! All was great! I felt really positive all weekend. It was bliss.

The rest of my time was filled with family and baby love. I took the kids out. We had the best time of merriment. We bought toys, played out. We just swirled in Wunna land love. Our brunch of choice was at Patisserie Valerie in Doncaster and simply because Junior need banana pancakes and Ruby needed poached eggs. (It is the only place that does both.)

We met up with my Mum and had the best family weekend ever. Family’s really important to me. Growing up we were always close and throughout my 20’s due to work, I lived away in LA for years and years and years…but we were still REALLY REALLY CLOSE. We tell each other everything. Were a really open family. It’s filled to the brim with loyalty and love. Almost anything goes….and I just feel really lucky to have them.

I mean even this morning, I had to have a business meeting with my mum before I set off to work and she just looked at me, beamed and said,

‘ I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t believe in you. I believe in you more than anyone…’

(And she’s not soft like that is my Mum. She’s real. She’s ‘tough love’…But she has a kitten soul. She’s a ‘tell it how it is,’ kinda gal. J I love her more than life.)

She teaches me how to be a GREAT Mum and that I am. I mean look at this…Over the weekend…Ruby finds graffiti on the wall that reads the letters ‘BT’

Ruby:  ‘Mum? What’s that??’

Me: ‘It’s just graffiti babe..’

Ruby: ‘It’s like Ted Baker, but backwards.’

YES! MY CHILD ROCKS! BOOYAH! ALL THE TROPHIES!

We ended up doing a quick dinner at ‘Ego’ and then just enjoying Bonfire night, as the skies were littered with bitty burst of colour and excitement. I love everything about driving through the streets on bonfire night. The skies celebrate your existence and the airs smells of a warm, burnt whisper. It soothes any fire sign with comfort.

Saturday night I slept like a baby…

Then Keiran text me, at the crack of dawn, to see if I could drop Junior off at 8.30 am on Sunday morning….

One day, when i’ve chimed my ultimate success bell…I’ll be able to enjoy those blissful ‘good times’ and those glorious moments of ‘lay in’ without being suddenly woken up by ‘life alarms.’ I mean, I hate nothing worse than ‘alarms.’ Be it metaphorical or literal. I can’t stand waking up every single morning to the *bleep bleep* of my phone. It’s bad for my soul and sort of ‘off starts’ my day, because it forces me to get  up against my will. Surely my body should wake whenever  it wants to?

The only alarm I ever adored, was when I slept over at Samuel’s apartment in London, (I was on the Paris Hilton Show with him, back in the day.) He’s gay and his ‘Wake up’ alarm song was the ‘Part of That World’ by ‘The Little Mermaid.’ J

Now, i’m a Sasserilla and i’m not remotely ‘Disney’ by any means, but let me tell you, TO THIS DAY, (and do note that I have  been woken up by MANY an alarm, all over the WORLD… in a zillion hotel suites, a bundle of odd people’s bedrooms, my own personal delicious bed sheets and homes across the mighty globe..) DO NOTE, THAT TO THIS DAY, that SONG has been THE BEST ALARM WAKE UP CALL, I have ever had the pleasure to rise to! You really should try it! It’s bliss!

2009 Throwback Convo: (After we had returned from an evening out with Paris at Jalouse.)

Me: ‘You actually have Ariel has your wake up alarm.’

Sam: ‘Yeah obvs! What do you have?’

Me: ‘Usually just some guy telling me he’s not looking for a serious relationship. Lol’

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve Made It To Thursday….

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I’m feeling great! I mean there is STILL part of my life that is lulling in the ‘dull ‘ zone, however soon that ‘grey’ will be dashingly done and dusted. The rest of my life is ‘ooh laa.’ It’s magical.

Right….Many great things are happening to me right now and I can’t even believe it. My friends can’t even believe it.

Firmonnell: ‘I cannot actually believe that you’re going to be doing that! Lol.’

Me: ‘I know, it’s CRAZY.’

I guess opportunity has come a knocking and it’s certainly come threefold. Opportunity didn’t use to knock. I’d chase and chase and it still never knocked. For some reason now…it’s not only knocking, but i have a ‘bell’ that buzzes you straight into Wunna Land with automatic glitter doors, as big beefy security jiggles through the masses to pick the best pieces to the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ jigsaw.

I’d like to say it was luck, but to be fair, i’ve worked really hard, not as hard as I could’ve done, but come the New Year, i’ll now have that time to smash it. Work hard for what you want. It happens. And girls…please don’t feel downtrodden by others…be it men, life, the way you look etc..Normal chick issues. You can do anything. You really can. I am living proof of that. If i could empower every women in the entire  world, i’d be a happiest glamour puss in all of the land.

At the same time as hard work, I’m a big believer in fate. You get what you’re meant to get. You miss out on the things that aren’t right for you. You learn lessons along the way. No meeting is ever worthless. You encounter and cross paths with the people you’re supposed to. And If something’s meant to be, it will always come to you, or find its way back to you.

HOWEVER, if you don’t try to pursue the things that make you feel magical in life, then you’ll never get anywhere. You’ll always find yourself sat in your ‘why am I here’ rut. I’m Wunna Land. That’s not how I play drinking games. 🙂 A fire doesn’t start without a spark. And if anyone can spark a ‘gusto’ it’s moi!

Feel empowered. Be excited. Only do the things that you LOVE. Take the reins of your existence and shimmie it with everything that you stand for. Be the very best version of YOU.

A guy stopped me yesterday, as I was walking down a top flight of stairs with a Pot Noodle in my hand. (It was beef and tomato.) He’s Geordie, he tells ‘grandad’ type jokes and dresses up as 101 Dalmations at parties. Anyway, he stopped me and simply said,

‘The only thing that dissolves fear is ACTION. There’s something about you Chrissie. Something tells me you’re gonna be in a great place and never look back.’

Me: ‘Yeah. I’m not scared. I’m ready now. I actually feel held back.’

He smiled, like he was proud…and then I tottered off to eat my Pot Noodle. Yippeee!

Around Wunna Land, other shit was happening. ‘Hustle Barbie’ had decided to send suggestive messages to girls, from our guy friend Jonesez. She never learns that you don’t prank Jonesez because he lives for revenge and his excitement for it, is hardly ever punctuated. He don’t give no ‘hoot in hell.’ Bottom line…you’re fucked. So as she sat all smuggly, with her ‘i’ve sent messages’ head up in the air. He went to her car and smeared moisturiser all over the door handle of her car. She thought it was bird poo. I watched the snapchat an thought it was hummous….and what is honestly worst than innocently trying to get into your car and having your hand dolloped and smeared in a gooey, unknown substance. I’m a germaphobe, so to me…that is devastating. Hustle Barbie’s a vegan…She just got on with life.

I’m getting loads of love from ‘da ladies’ right now. My inbox is usually filled with messages from gentleman, who fancy their chances at adoring a glamour puss. Lol. Right now and because i’ve recently done one f the most uplifting interviews, that you’ll all see shortly, I have a jolly…if jolly meant ‘sexy’ bundle of chick ‘yahoos.’ Girls are naughty. Some have gone beyond the ‘you’re such a queen, I love you.’ To ‘I can’t even tell you what i want to do to you. *Devil face emoji.*

It’s hot. I love it. And it’s all because I said, that my Girl Crush (and if you know me or read this blog, you should  already know) that my GIRL rush is ELLEN DEGENERES. No one loves this women more than me…and I do mean sexually and not just in a ‘fan girl, oh yeah she’s funny’ kinda way. I need Ellen in my life! She’s my perfect woman.

Obviously….I’m straight. (I have an unfortunate and somewhat colourful history that pin points this. I’ve romanced a lot of gentleman. 😉 ) Yet. OH MY GOD, I properly fancy Ellen Degeneres with even inch of my heart and loins…that I don’t think that I could live without stalking her Instagram, every second. J This crush hasn’t recently occurred. This crush occurred in my mid 20’s whilst I was living in LA.

The quote from my interview, which comes out shortly is…

‘I could meet any guy in the entire world and not feel a single piece of the nerves. If I meet Ellen Degeneres. Like she was just right there infront of me, I might possibly DIE and then try and snog her after cocktails.’

Now, cos they do….all my real life chick friends are trying to steal my crush.

Hustle Barbie: ‘I think i’ve stolen your girl crush.’

(Then she posts a screenshot that tells me how Vegan Ellen Degeneres is. Do know that ‘Hustle’ has gone from ‘I really fancy a sausage sandwich to the absolute height of VEGANISM. She’s recruiting. Be warned.)

So yeah, now she fancies my Girl Crush, because my girls crush doesn’t eat animals in any way shape or form.

Hustle Barbie: ‘She’s mine now.’

Me: ‘I will only become a Vegan if Ellen tells me to. Back of Blondy, she loves me not you. Lesbians love me, even though I eat bacon.’

Me to Firmonnell: ‘Hustle is trying to steal my girl crush. Ellen’s vegan.’

Firmonnell: ‘Ha..ha..Does she fancy ALL vegans now????’

It’s weird how when we love something we try and make everyone else love it to. Hustle with her ‘don’t eat meat’ club. Me with my ‘Live life like you have nothing to lose’ thing. Keiran with his ‘I follow Jehovah….now you should too.’ All the girls with ‘Let’s go to the gym and eat healthy.’  It must be passion, or this sincere need to be *pom pommed* onto a more positive path.

Junior was so cute last night. he wanted to sleep in my bed with me, because he missed me when he went to his Dad’s.

‘Mum, i really need a snuggly something.’

‘I don’t have your blankey.’

‘I REALLY NEED A BLANKEY. Get me one of your jumpers. A snuggly one, that smells like you.’

I produced my thin peach jumper, the one that has a swan on it. I’d just chucked it in my wardrobe so it radiated a mummy glow.

He rolled it up into a ball and with utter bliss in his eyes, cuddled it like his life was now complete!

Why can’t all guys be like they were when they’re young and still adorable??

Saying that my first husband used to do the same. I was living in LA working. He’s an actor, but was living in New York at the time, before he was making his move to LA. We were  moving in together, and had just met. During that time, we had to be apart. It wasn’t bad at all really. We were fine. I’m used to living apart from my counter male. Schedules, careers and busy times usually prevail. Anyway, he’d always grab an item of my clothing, like a tshirt or a nighty and take it with him, to sleep with, whenever he left to be back in New York? (I’ve just made that sound creepy. But it was actually really innocent. Hahaha.)

Anyway, I’m off. I have a really exciting next couple of weeks, where i’ll be meeting some amazing faces, who will tinker into Wunna Land. I’m going to be in Leeds, London and then Liverpool.

I’m working all day, but my next thing is tomorrow.

Tomorrow i’m be celebrating with Candy Mechanics at Trinity Leeds, as they magically turn me into a chocolate lollipop. I’m so excited. I can’t wait to be there. It’s the big old live launch, for the ever so magical pop up stall that will open in Leeds later

Sunday Tittle Tattle & Gifts…

It’s the most beautiful day in Yorkshire today. The air is crisp, the sun is out, the birds are chirping, there’s a gentle breeze meandering across the fields, through the cities…So, it’s a total shame that I’m feeling a bit rough. I’m only a bit rough. Not mega rough. If I was mega rough, I would’ve had to surrender to my flamingo bed sheets all day and beg for ice lollies. (Ice lollies and cups of tea, are my favourite hang over cures. My second favourite hang over cure is obviously a cocktail. The ‘Hair of the Dog’ really works. However, today….it’s not my choice of mixer.)

Yesterday was fabulous. Ruby and I tinkered to Doncaster, as you may well know, to select our favourite Christmas gift choices at Debenhams. It’s definitely for a blog that will come out later, where I’ll be showing you some of our favourite things.. closer to the festive season. But honestly, I was bamboozled by the distinct glow of fabulosity. Such great choices. I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a December birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I love gift buying. Yet, I’m either a quirky gift purchaser or a LUXURY GIFT purchaser. Meaning you could receive anything from a sassy bit of Gucci, to an Inflatable crown, just so you can be a ‘Queen for the Day.’Lol. Depends on how i’m feeling, at the time?

We came back with all sorts. Ceramic ‘Posh Shot’ cups, Chocolate fountains, Parrot Party Bottle openers, a range of jewellery, crepe makers, bath bombs, bouji this, silly that….Handcrafted Reborn Dolls (which retail for the bargain price of £99, per doll. I KNOW! Craziness. How can a dolly be that much!) So, I’m looking forward to showing you what Wunna Land gift choices we made at Debenhams. You should never let my first born, my Mother and I lose around your store, any store…we will want EVERYTHING. It’s like placing the most spendy people in one place and throwing them a ‘cold hard cash’ bone. Junior’s been at his Dad’s all weekend and we’ve all missed him so madly. He would’ve LOVED the merriment.

Mum: ‘So what’s Junior doing then?’

Me: ‘He’s got a family birthday or something with Keirans sister and then he’ll have a Sunday of religious paradise stuff…’

Mum: ‘Paradise?’

Me: ‘. Shit. I forgot to tell you. Keiran gave me a Bible and told me that if I wanted to go to Paradise when I die, I had to become a Jehovah’s Witness.’

Mum: ‘Where’s his Paradise? Ibiza? 😉 ‘

Then we continued choosing gifts. (Keiran and my Mum, do not get on! You have never seen two head *butt* so much.)

‘I really like those rose gold Prosecco bottles.. As if it comes with a bell. GIVE ME BOOZE NOW. Tinkle. Tinkle.’

I have literally had THE BEST family weekend. It’s been great and I haven’t seen Ruby as happy as she is right now, in a really long time. She was giddy with excitement. Her eyes lit up with life.

Yesterday, we met a load of people and it felt really great to feel like we had such support. I have more support than I ever thought? I love nothing more, than people stopping me to tell me that they’ve read the blog or love the blog. They talk about their favourite entry. They remember everything. It’s impressive. It’s actually funny because they tell ME the story, with excitement, like I might not remember it. J I lived it. It’s my life. I know the story. Lol. I wrote the story. I was there.  I mean yesterday a girl was asking me about ‘Hustle Barbie’ and our night out at Issho…and as I was chatting to her about it, I guess I said ‘Hustle’s’ actual name…because I would. I mean, they are real people in my life and I do call them by their real names… in real life. Lol.  Anyway, she was so shocked.

Girl: ‘Oh God. Is that her actual name?’

Me: ‘What? Oh! Yeah. Lol. Infact, she sent me a Snapchat of her boyfriend’s bum, whilst he was cooking her a Vegan curry, the other night.’

Girl: ‘Does he have a good bum?’

Me: ‘Yes. Lol. It looked like a peach, wrapped in tight grey jogging bottoms. I told her that I would never let her leave that bum. It’s just too good a bum.’

It all makes me smile and I guess it’s because the blog  means so much to me. I’ve written this diary for over a decade now. I didn’t really think it would become ‘A THING.’ I hoped that it would. I just didn’t think too much of it. I simply got on with it.

I love to write. I love to tell my story. I love to inspire. I love it when you all send me stories about your own life. I think EVERYONE’S LIFE is important and if more and more people could celebrate their own existence, tell their own story, or even write a diary or blog as therapy…To me, that would be WONDERUL. Infact, it would be WUNNAFUL.

I’m currently in talks with some great people right now, where I’ll hopefully be starting a campaign in the Spring of next year to encourage those, be you young, old, happy, sassy, quiet, successful, down trodden, or troubled, to keep a diary. It changed my LIFE.

So, I’m going to be encouraging more people to express and tell the story of their own day to day life, be it privately or publicly, in order to build internal strength, inspire others, or just have something to look back on and read, in the years to come. It’s YOUR STORY. Everyone has a voice. Sometimes we think people aren’t listening. But they are. Sometimes, we need to listen to ourselves. Writing things out, helps that. You can rewatch something as a third party. I’m someone that wants everyone to use their voice proudly. So yeah, hopefully that will all work out.

Anyway, where was I?

Ruby and I ended up heading over to Ego for a Lemonade and..well I ordered a Pina Colada. As my mum dropped us off, my phone flashed and it was Pete (Rubs Dad) just checking in to see if Ruby wanted to hang out with him?

I asked her and she simply said,

‘Yeah, why doesn’t he meet us for drinks.’

So as we waited for Pete to arrive, Ruby and I sat back, on a candle lit table, which was appropriately placed right infront of a GIANT MIRROR. And as we chatted about life, she beamed and threw her head back in utter laughter. As a parent, when you see that, you glow don’t you? She kept doing all these ‘swaggy’ impressions  of me, with a DIVA finger tut and head titters. Whenever she does an impression of me, she always does it with an American Accent? All she kept saying was,

‘Yo, Baby Boo. You can sit with us. Ha…Ha’Haaaaaa.’

For some reason, it cracked us both up and we were in lemonade and Pina Colada, candlelit stitches. We even forgot that we were at Ego. We must’ve been the loudest humans in all the land. But when ‘loud’ is laughter, it’s always great. 😉

Ruby: ‘You’re my best friend Mum.’

Then Pete showed up..

Pete: ‘Now, i’m here. I might get a table. I kinda want eat? Do you?’

Me: ‘We can sit and get something, yeah.’

Ruby: ‘Yeah, I wanna eat.’

(I didn’t eat and just drank, because I can’t do both at the same time.)

But it was nice to have a late afternoon family dinner. Like I always say, we ‘co parent’ really well, because it’s important to us, that the kids are happy. I’m really lucky in this respect. It’s great that we can go through everything we went through, not be together, yet still have dinner out, with our little girl… happily…And the same goes for Junior….It’s a blessing!

I can’t remember what they ate, now? But we just listened to Ruby chat about life. I chatted about my own life. Pete chatted about the drinks and dinner he had at ‘Neighbourhood’ recently (which has newly opened in Leeds.)

Me: ‘Was the food good?’

Pete: ‘Yeah but it was pricey. It’s really pricey.’

Me: ‘There’s so much going on in Leeds, right now. It’s so bouji! Everything’s turned so glamourous. I’m loving it’

The other week, someone I know, had never been to Leeds, but had heard that it was really rough. Oh my GOSH. No. Right now, it’s all Louis Vuttion, glammy cocktail bars, fine dining and heels. It’s the opposite to rough. We’re just Yorkshire. 😉 You don’t mess with anyone from Yorkshire. Lol.

Then day became night and I soon ventured home. Ruby went to her Dad’s to chill with him for an hour and then came home to sleep with Mama.

Great Weekend. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive. I am the luckiest girl alive.

Monday, starts tomorrow…..

Oh my God! As if Ronnie (one of my closest LA besties, he’s also a celebrity chef out in LA, had his own show, has just cooked for Gwyneth Paltrow.) He’s just messaged me, saying he’s gonna be in London in December and wants to see me! SO EXCITED! Let me go chat to him.

Fyi/My Shocking phone call, from my ‘Shocking Phone call’ blog has now started to wind me up. lol. I’m annoyed now for no reason. Lol

Wunna Land Gossip, My Diary, My Life

This last week has been swirled with a gooey glitter splurge of insanity. It’s been madness!! I can’t even tell you, but i’ve done it with grace and a smile on my little oriental face. There hasn’t even been time to blog. I’ve spun plates, on all levels, like some Hero of femininity. Unfortunately for me, I’m not ‘some hero’ at all, i’m simply managing my life in order to get the best out of it.

Yeah, I’m a single mum of two with a mighty career load…but so are a lot of chicks. All I can tell anyone in my situation is to NOT GIVE UP. You can do it, get through it and see the results that you want. You’ve just godda keep at it and not feel sorry for yourself.

I remember sitting in this acting class in LA as a 22 year old and the guy who owned the school came in to give us some ‘life lesson’ lecture. He told us that the majority of people DIDN’T MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE, simply because they GAVE UP. I held onto that. It’s true. So when you prioritize, work hard, don’t get distracted and rest when you can, you’ll smash it. You’ll even get better at it. Everyone that adores you, will always be there, when you come out of that tunnel.

I probably worked 19 hours of each 24hr day last week, continuously, until it was time to sleep. Lol. My diet got glamorously flung out the window. I wanted to get skinny for no reason, so i looked great for filming. I don’t even feel fat. I feel great. I love my body..even the wibbly bits. So, it wasn’t a priority. It got flung. Everything was..

‘I’d like a bucket of chicken wings with hot sauce, onion rings and a Pina Colada, please.’

The Pina Colada is essential. I can’t do anything without a cocktail by my side. It’s less about the drinking and more about the fact that they make me smile when they’re near me. 😉  I also like luxury. I can slum it with the lasses. But I don’t prefer to. It doesn’t make me feel comfy. Lol. I’ve added the requirements onto my ‘DIVA list.’ My Diva list is the list of ‘Wunna Must Haves’ that is produced when I’m going to appear somewhere, be it business or pleasure…Y’know, like Rockstars would ask for shit like Green M & M’s.

My requirements are now, PHONE CHARGING FACILITIES, WIFI, LUXURY WHEREVER IT CAN BE APPLIED & TWO WELL MADE COCKTAILS. (I’m used to doing the 2 for 1 cocktails at Ego now. Hence why two drinks are an absolute necessity.)

My chicks friends have been dandy. Mel’s been gyming it, Fairytale Blond is having a phantom pregnancy, Hustle Barbie is stroking dead pigeons, Jonesez is pretending to be a Vegan so Hustle fancies him, Double B has heightened her ‘Sass’ levels and Firmonnell and I have turned up our life mode to the art of  ‘C’est La Vie.’ I think both Hustle and Firmonnell had agreed that they’ve either made up or blocked their childhoods out for no real reason and the PE teacher that I used to chat to, about 2 years ago…has been hailed the ‘Hottest Teacher in The World’ by the Daily Mail. I knew it had to be press for something, so I checked and he’s going to be a new fitness presenter for the BBC. He was actually on that really ace reality show ‘Last man Standing’ years ago. He deserves a break because he’s worked really hard for it. We’re good friends, i know him well, so if he manoeuvres all his work correctly, he could actually be a huge star!

Me: ‘I’d wondered what he had been doing all of this time??’

Firmonnell: ‘Sit ups….OBVIOUSLY!!’

Firmonnell and I actually going to see a clairvoyant together on Wednesday, Susan Woods. I’m really excited to blog about it all. It feels juicy. Plus, we’ll be delighting in Prosecco all the way there, so i’ll take any bad news with glee and a prosecco dripped happiness. It’s glamour pussing…honest. *Yayur*

I messaged her yesterday complaining because she wasn’t with me whilst I was trapped, in some kind of ‘Countries of the World’ drinking Disney Land. Not that I could ever feel TRAPPED in a place of such absolute wonder. I mean, I could’ve had Sake in the Japanese hut, Rum in a reggae chill zone, Austrian Ale in some log cabin and vodka in an iced mountain den. A Disney Land for total alcoholics.

Firmonnell: WHY AM I NOT THERE! SEND ME PICTURES NOW.

I had Baby Junior, as Ruby had opted for doing the Blackpool Illuminations with her Dad. Junior convinced me to purchase his poor little ‘hard done by’ self  a DRUM KIT. Massive ROOKIE ERROR! What was I thinking!!!! So yeah. No fun in the Disney Land for boozers for me. I HAD TO CARRY A DRUM KIT AROUND WITH ME…(glamourously..of course.) Then he demanded that we go to Ego for drinks and a bread board. So we did…..I definitely got tricked, rinsed and by my own loin fruit. My own darling creation. (He filmed this morning and DEMANDED that his drum kit was in every scene and that everyone heard him smash out irregular drum beating to JINGLE BELLS …continously. After filming he got sent off for his usual Sunday ‘Daddy Day’ with his Jehovahs Witness Father.

I’m currently having to write this from the back of my Mum’s car, as she drives us all to lunch. That’s how i’m having to utilize my time now. The rest of The Wunna’s are actually doing well also. They will be welcoming themselves to entertainment shortly….both with me and without me. ((I know! I can’t believe how everything’s panning out!)

Mum: Well Chrissie’s been writing the blog and it’s turned HUGE by accident & so  she’s getting plunged back into TV. Now… because of the blog, we’re ALL getting asked to do all sorts. She always said you only live once….and I guess right now….we’re going to have fun as a family, yet under extraordinary circumstances. People must be inspired by her? I mean, she’s my own and even I look at her sometimes and think gosh I don’t know how she does it!!??!!’

(Aww… I have an ace Mama!)

The great thing is that by the end of December, everything changes for me and I step into a new chapter. Things will be much easier for me. I’m someone who embraces new chapters with ease, as they seem to have happened to me a lot in life…both good and bad. I focus on the good. I told you. I don’t waste my time on the bad. I have so much to be happy about and a future that feels charmed, right now. I don’t have anymore auditions this week, so I can concentrate on the blog, which is what I love the most! I’ve signed up to some really exciting collabos and brand deals and I can’t wait for you to see the fun!

Right we’ve pulled up. The cars stopped. I’m off to lunch.

Happy Sunday!