Fights, Sulking & True Love…

I had such a stressy night. All was well. All was wonderful. The Babies and I were a delight. All was sound, as we gathered in our *comfies* and watched telly, by the Christmas tree, with snacks.

Junior got the ‘Special Mention’ at school, so was filled with happiness. Ruby was overjoyed that it was finally the weekend, so she could relax. They had survived their consecutive day, ‘School Accident Form’ doo/dah and life was simply BLISS. (Junior was cute because when passing, he heard teachers talking about Ruby in the office. She had just had a fall. He stopped and asked if he could go see her in her classroom. Once granted, he went in and hugged her, to make sure she was okay. Aww! Lol)

Bliss! Delight! Let’s Call Disney & Tell Them To Make A Movie!

THEN…

…my Mum pops around, we have a massive fight, and everything turns to shit. We’re both really strong headed, so it’s annoying, when we bicker. The thing about my Mum is that, she’s about to go on Holiday for 2 weeks. Even though she loves a holiday, (don’t we all,) every single INCH of HER worries about the babies and I, during her absence. She a proper family woman. A great mum. But she’s nuts.

After the sharp bicker, that played almost like a swift, yet verbal knife throw, I got so bored of sitting there awkwardly, (y’know when you just sit there, being silent and pulling faces, so everyone in the room KNOWS your mad, Lol) that I did the only thing I knew how to do, as a daughter.

That was stand up, storm out of the room, perform a giant, angry hair toss, fling my glitter shoes at a wall and strut upstairs, stomping on every step. Haha. I then wet wiped all my face OFF, took off all my clothes OFF and with a *HUFF* went OFF to bed!!

All. Lights.Out.

The art of ‘SULKING’ is exhausting. I hate it. I tossed and turned all night.

I’m such a Sasserilla, when I think i’m right, that my opponent has NO CHANCE.

Then I had this dream that I was high in the sky, amongst the clouds , but falling out of a plane, tied to Talique from ‘I’m a Celebrity.’ I’m not sure if it was a ‘losing control’ kinda dream or a sexy one? I can’t quite decide? Haha. But yes, I’ve woken up fine, but stressed…even though everything’s kinda gone back to normal. It’s made me feel unbalanced.

We do this, The Wunna’s….We have these ‘Blow Outs’ and then everything goes back to normal, straight away…and mainly because if not, I WILL SULK FOREVER. 😉 I’m a proper grudge holder, until I hear a sincere apology.

Honestly, I’m awful for a ‘sulk sesh.’ I’m not really good at it, but I FULLY COMMIT to it. I’m loyal and brimming with pride. I’m also vain, so I like to look good when I sulk. Haha. It’s great when you’re sulking, after a fight with a guy who’s attracted to you, because their willies kick into action and you always win the war.

I think there’s a problem with me because there’s no grey area. There’s no fuzzy, static channel. It’s all swift flying emotion, or nothing at all. That’s with BOTH happiness & despair. I’d sort it, if I could be bothered.  But there’s cocktails to sip and I kinda like who I am.

Anyway…

(I currently have ‘Thanku, Next’ playing in the background. How is Ariana Grande’s voice so beautiful? She literally sounds like a dream. She can take any song and swirl it with a sound of smooth, angelic empowerment. I wish I could sing. I wish I could ice skate.)

So, I got this strange Snapchat message, yesterday evening. No. It wasn’t strange. It was actually lovely. Really lovely. The kind of message that I adore.

‘You’re so beautiful. X’

I’m classing it as ‘strange’ simply because I didn’t expect it to pop up, (I had to double take) and then I couldn’t decide if it was friendly, suggestive, by accident, all of the above, or even correct of him? I already know the guy closely. I just didn’t expect it, because he’s not in the correct ‘relationship status’ box.

That’s not cool.

However, I understand what he’ll be going through right now, because i’m going through the exact same thing…So he could’ve just had a couple of gins and let a mixture of his memories, his heart and his ‘really big’ willy take the lead.

I saved the conversation on purpose to terrify him…Boys sometimes need to feel terrified. They can’t have their cake and eat it. Even if they think they can…

I’m fine with the message though. I’ve done the ‘ginned up’ message numerous times, through life. So, I get it. My messages are always tragic though, because I don’t have a willy. (I might grow one, for kicks though.)

I wish I could just *blink* and be having fun in a Leeds cocktail bar right now.

Why am I so grumpy today???

I’m missing ‘The Swirl.’

 

 

A Little Bit Of Inspiration & Dudes

‘Did *what’s his face* message you?’

‘He doesn’t as much now. He DM’d me the other day, but it was mucky, so I ignored it.’

‘What about the Naughty Swede? Hahaha.’

‘Yeah. He sent me voice notes at the weekend and on Tuesday, saying he has time of work. Hopes to see me sometime. Hopes i’m well..’

‘What did you say?’

‘I just wished him well. What can I say??’

The Swede is always lovely when he voice notes. Yet, it’s strange how other guys can only seem brave enough to talk ‘sexy’ to me. I don’t know whether it’s because they just see me as ‘sex.’ (Which I don’t like. I’m a lot more than a pulsing vagina, whether they like it or not.)

I don’t know whether it’s because THEY THINK, that’s how I’d like a guy to be, after seeing a couple of big boobied pics? I don’t whether it’s because they feel more comfortable emotionally with that approach? I just don’t get it? I just don’t know?

But right now, it’s not a priority. So I don’t seem to care. I don’t have time to aimlessly amuse a guy and ‘tickle his fancy’ on lonely nights. I have better things to do.

In this phase of my life, I would only have time for a guy, who made an actual effort.

Everyone else gets chucked in ‘fuck it’ bucket. Cya!

Sacha Not Fierce: ‘You’re such a DIVA!! Haha.’

I had my opening conversation via Whatsapp on my phone, during a foggy school run, this morning. I was strutting through a playground, in glitter heels, my specs and with a bag of shin pads in my hand. Oh! And I also had a little half Asian Baby attached to my leg…Luckily it was mine, which kinda saved any awkward situations.

(I was once in Camden and someone else’s child had got lost and accidentally attached itself to my leopard print faux fur. I hadn’t even had Ruby yet, so I remember looking down in terror. Then I realized it was a small child. So I smiled and said, ‘Life isn’t going to be better with me, Lovely! Let’s find your Mum.’)

 Big Kisses! Big Kisses! See you at 3.30pm!!! At 3.30, it’s the weekend, Babies!!!

Junior: ‘I love you MUM.’

Ruby: ‘When i’m older, i’m gonna be rich, just so I can have assistants.’

I’ve got so much going on right now, that i’m kinda just focusing on ME!! It may seem like I do that quite a lot. However, I actually really don’t. I get distracted by things easily. I put other things first. I sometimes give ‘distractions’ unnecessary priority.

But, at the end of the day, I’m a boobied Glamour Puss, not a Sergeant Major. That’ll happen. Yet, it shouldn’t happen ALL the time. I was INCREDIBLY motivated when I was a 20 something. You could see a ‘fire’ in my little Asian eyes. Now you see a ‘giggle.’ But the ‘fire’ is coming back.

It needs to come back, pronto. I think i’ve left under a bed sheet somewhere?

Sasha Not Fierce: ‘I don’t think you get distracted. I think you get bored and when you’re bored, you *hobby* boys, things, drama….anything, just to occupy your brain.’

‘Well, i’m not bored right now, i’m busy….’

Sasha:  ‘EXACTLY!’ And that’s why your focus is on YOU, Sassy Pants.’

Me: ‘I think I need botox?’

Old School Friend & School Mum (As i’m running back to my car):

‘CHRISSIE WUNNA!! I was having my cuppa tea this morning and WHO popped onto my screen!?! I nearly I died! I choked on it! Haha. I couldn’t even believe it. I was like OH MY GOD!! It’s…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. It’s shocked everyone. But yeah, it’s on Dec 3rd…’

‘Well, I’ll DEFINITELY be watching!!! Good luck! Haha.’

Monday, December 3rd, 10pm, Channel 4. ‘First Dates.’ Set ya tellies!

‘I’ve been thinking about ‘The Swirl’ aka ‘T Bone’ a lot. He’s in my head. But he’s in my head because I miss him and i’m inspired by him. I need inspiration right now. He’s someone that’s really GOOD at focusing on what matters to him and balancing it all appropriately.

He sees the big picture and gives everything his all.  Now, I look back. I get it…because i’ve kinda found myself in the exact same position as he was in. I hope I see him in the near future….But I kinda probably won’t.

I’m also inspired by Toby, we know I am. He’s a life soldier. He’s a fighter. He’ll smash the upcoming Winter Olympics and again he’s someone who seems to stay very focused, without letting the art of ‘tango’ or ‘distraction’ get the better of him.

I’m glad that I briefly crossed paths with him, because he reminded me to take life and opportunity into my own hands. Like I used to!

It must be one of the keys to success. Both guys are sportsmen though. Maybe they’re taught that mentality, every day…

You’re a product of your environment right?

Saying that, Mike wasn’t at all a sportsmen? My first husband. (My Little Mikey Ray.) I’d already  had a few  dreams come true, so I knew that anything could happen. MY parents taught me that anything could happen if I tried, because they made THEIR OWN dreams come true. Mum came over here with only £17 in her pocket and built an entire EMPIRE by herself…

As did my Father, who trundled to the UK with his fingers crossed. He ended up being a bone surgeon and building his surgeries, across the lands.

Mum: ‘Yeah, then we had you. We thought we had it all sorted and you turned around and said you wanted to be a MODEL!! Hahaha! I was like, GOD!! RAY! What are we gonna do?? We know nothing about entertainment!!!??!!!’

(But i’m sure that can’t be true because my dad ABSOLUTELY bought The Sun Newspapers ‘Page 3’ Calendar every year and put it up in the living room. Haha. It didn’t even bother my Mum because she’s cool. Maybe HE inspired me! Lol. )

Whilst he did that, my mum took me around to every single dance class, agent, performing arts school, competition, audition, acting class, ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

You name it…I was there, from being about 7 years old onwards…and this was at the same time as doing school. I went to a Private Boarding School. I had a wonderful time at school. But you kinda had to smash it academically and perform. It wasn’t like you could toss it off and play ‘absent.’ It was competitive. But I liked that, because there was still a warmth!

Plus, all the kids there WANTED to do well. There wasn’t a single pupil there would ever turn around and say, ‘I can’t be arsed to be here.’

We LOVED being at school. It was like a resort, a well protected bubble.

There was no ‘hanging out by the bike sheds, sipping cider.’ It was all. ‘Have you signed up to golf, or pony trekking? I’m bored, do you want a quick round of tennis before tea? ’ Lol.

I remember getting pulled out of class, during my G.C.S.E years, to go shoot a campaign, or audition for a pop band..(lol) Everywhere I went as a child, to compete during this time…Sheridan Smith (who is huge now) was there, with her mum. Doing the exact same thing.

Everything must have been so hectic for my Mum. Yet to me it seemed busy, but it was just so fun and easy. However, I’m now only GOOD at working under pressure. I can only be productive when I have A LOT GOING ON. Otherwise, I get bored…and when i’m bored, you’ll know about it.

Meghan: ‘You’re never home! You’re always out and about.’

I still came out the other ‘G.C.S.E’ end, with 9 A’s, a couple A *’s and a B (for Maths!) I am RUBBISH AT SUMS. I can’t be bothered to add.

Miss. Liddle: ‘Did you see my SEESAW post!!! I’ve found what Junior’s good at! I tested him on his timetables. I put them in front of him, didn’t help him at all…and he got them all right! I was like YES!!!! Look in his bag!’

FINALLY!!!! BLISS! I COULD’VE CRIED! (But really! I could’ve cried!)

So, I have one child that’s a glamour puss and loves poetry, reading, success and beauty. Then another who loves maths, building, codes and logic.

Wait! I’ve got distracted again!

SHIT! I was meant to be talking about how I watched Mike’s dreams come true!!! Haha!

So yes…Forget all that. It must be all lies, because I seem to be good at making everything about ME, most of the time! 😉

BACK TO DREAMS COME TRUE…

Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough…SOME dreams come true, but I reckon,  they come true because people work HARD, and succeed on purpose. They put everything in place, so that one day, when an opportunity for ‘dreams come true’ comes their way…THEY’RE READY!!

That’s all you have to do, right? Put yourself in a good place and the right place. The rest you leave to life magic and keep your fingers crossed. There’s always an element, a force beyond your control.

I WATCHED Mike’s dreams come true, with my very eyes. I watched him go, from wondering how he was going to  afford a Burger King, to doing a scene with Tom Cruise, in a movie, as I sat in a cinema.

I watched us never go out, because we had auditions the next day. I watched us once having to run out of The Saddle Ranch without paying our tab, to then a year later being sat at a five star restaurant, at dinner, on Valentine’s Day, next to Tom Hanks and his wife.

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! AT ANY POINT.

That’s why I hate it when people give up, because they stop believing. They run out of ‘fight.’

I mean, there are always moments where I sit with my head in my hands, thinking ‘FOR THE LOVE OF ABSOLUTE GOD!!’

But every time, I just take a deep breath, swig a wine and get on with it.

Don’t run out of hope. Don’t run out of ‘fight.’ Keep karma on your side, always, because HOLY SHIT, it can be a BITCH.

Love. Live.

Try not to doubt yourself. Focus on how far you’ve come. It’ll impress you.  It’ll stretch you that little bit further over the line, to get you where you want to be.

Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s depressing. Be inspired by them. But don’t compare your life chapter, to theirs. You don’t know what they’re going through behind an Instagram Pic.

Don’t let other people get you down. It’s your version of life, not theirs. Celebrate YOUR story. I’ve never had anyone ‘hate’ on me, who’s actually doing better than me. 😉 Use any ‘hate’ to motivate you.

I call it ‘Operation: Watch Me Now, Boo.’

Make the right choices FOR YOU. After years of sometimes making really bad choices and failing miserably, over and over again, I will actually tell you that it made me smarter. It made me stronger. Made me wiser.

HOWEVER, some of those opportunities were opportunities that really only come around ONCE in a LIFETIME. Lol.  I properly fucked them up because I was distracted. I had to find another tunnel and dig my way to the light. Save yourself some time. Haha.

Stay focused.

I would’ve preferred to have made the right decision in the first place.

I hear a lot of wise people advising others to ‘fail as much as possible.’ And I get that. It’s true. It makes you mighty in the end. You shouldn’t be scared to’ get back up when you fail,’ I guess is the message. Yet, DO KNOW that whenever i’ve made a GOOD DECISION (yes, that HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED BEFORE) and done something right the FIRST TIME ROUND…. It hasn’t felt bad AT ALL. It’s actually felt WONDERFUL!! Haha.

I feel like Dr.Phil. Wait! No I don’t because i’m about to shoot topless on a space hopper, with a martini glass in my hand, for my birthday Insta pics.

We all have different lives. Do yours well!

I wonder what ‘Fairytale, ‘Hustle Barbie, Mel, Firmonnell and Double B are all doing? I haven’t caught up with them in ages.

I’m getting a Flash back of a time when Double B, Fairytale and I were all sat ON THE PAVEMENT, outside some building in Leeds, after a night out, waiting for Prince Jonny, at around 2am, some morning. Double B had her shoes off and some drunk Ginger guy thought we were homeless and threw change at us!

Hahah….

Turtle Necks, First Dates & The Cat Ate My Nipples…

Happy Thursday! I’m just having the best time because i’m giddy with the giggles and ‘clown dancing’ my way through life, glamourously. It feels great! I feel great! And yeah, there’s *ups and downs* going on around me, but i’m safe, I’m in a turtle neck… and it’s lilac. Anytime you wear a lilac turtle neck, people don’t fuck with you. I’m only joking…people can tinker with your ‘merries’ at any point in life. Be prepared. Turtle necks, let you down.

‘Loulabell,’ my chick friend, told me to always carry a dildo in my handbag, so I can *whop* it out at any point, like it’s a crazy feminist weapon, pull scary faces, whilst screaming madly and no one in the world, would dare hurt me.

However, I don’t think that’s true because anytime i’ve whopped out a dildo and screamed madly…the other party has immediately tried to pull my pants. Our lands are different. In her land…Dildos scare people off. In Wunna Land, it simply acts as a ‘come hither’ beacon. It’s almost a catalyst.

I’m not aggressive enough, when it comes to being angry, because i’m never angry. I’ve haven’t practiced it enough. Everything just ends in a*wink,* with me. So, with a dildo in my hand….that probably wouldn’t work to my advantage.

Anyway…

The Wunna Land cat ‘Rocco’ has already tried to eat me this morning. I don’t know what’s up with him? In my mind, he lives the most lavish life. Yet, he gives me the impression that he yearns to be The Beckhams cat or something? He’s loving and ungrateful all at the same time. Kinda like Ruby. (My Daughter.)

To punish me, anytime I’m laid still and with a bit of ‘casual boob’ out..’ He tip toes over and gently LEAPS ONTO ME, LIKE A MAD BANCHEE WOMAN, THE WEEK BEFORE HER PERIOD, WHO HASN’T ‘TAKEN HER PROZAC THIS MORNING’ and starts aggressively chewing on my nipple and if not my nipple…MY PRIVATES.

(You don’t go near my privates without permission. It’s not a snack. It’s a bitch. Don’t get it twisted. Lol)

Anyhow,  when I  try to chuck him off, whilst shrieking with panic…He then swaggers off, with ‘the monk on’ and starts humping my sheets. Like I said in my Insta story today…It’s like he thinks i’m Oriental, Viagra Jerky or something?

It’s kinda like all my ex marriages.

Right, First Dates…

I’ve posted it everywhere. I’ve told everyone about it. The advert for the show is running on Channel 4 right now CONSTANTLY and i’m really happy, to have taken a trip to the First Dates restaurant and happy to be on the actual advert. I mean, AS IF! Every time it comes on the telly…it takes me straight back to my time at the restaurant. (I’ll be telling you about it afterwards.)

Phone calls have been made. People are messaging me left, right and centre. All my exes are ‘whatsapping’ me galore. I’m being ‘missed’ with every inch of everyones heart. I’m getting hugs in the supermarket. My friends are pissing themselves. People are rooting for me, like soldiers! The teachers at Ruby & Junior’s school are filled with excitement. It’s just been wonderful.

I’m feeling a lot of love.

When you feel adored, you feel like you can conquer the world, don’t you? Right now, I could hit *pause* and swirl around in sloooow motion, confetti shower.

Dramatic much… 😉

Ruby: ‘My favourite class at school is Drama. It’s the big write, or drama.’

Teacher: ‘Ah! You’re creative, like you’re mum.’

Me: ‘Well..yeah…*creative* is one way of describing me. Haha.’

But obviously I can’t tell you anything about it, just yet. (I actually wrote the blog, the afternoon after I left the restaurant, because I wanted the emotion of the blog to be raw and real.)

I have a lot to tell you.

 A lot to tell you about all of the above AND my actual love life.

However, right now, no can doey. (This is when it’s being a blogger, or a life diary writer is difficult. I like to write freely. I like to write honestly. So the actual mental organization that it takes to ‘tread carefully’ until you’re allowed to ‘holla’ is somewhat tedious. 😉 It sometimes makes me miss my LA days, when I was really really young, typing away on my Myspace blog, saying anything I wanted, whenever I wanted….But you can’t wish to ‘grow,’ yet be unable or willing to handle it, when you do.)

So again, i’ll say it’s ‘ worth it.’ I mean, it’s not very often that someone gives you the chance to find love at the First Dates restaurant and for that, ‘tick off, the old bucket list’ alone..I’m truly grateful.

 I’m truly grateful.

Sammy T: ‘Well, whether it’s good or bad, you’ll recover well because you manage to get away with EVERYTHING. Lol. I DO NOT KNOW, another human, who can recover from literally ANYTHING...better than you. Haha.’

Licky Lisa: ‘OMG! Like that time you got served divorce papers and you accidentally answered the door, in just big white pants and Easter bunny ears, with your hands over your bare boobs. Hahaha.’

Me: ‘Well, I didn’t want to miss him and I didn’t have time to run up and get changed, I was in the middle of a shoot…So technically I didn’t have a choice. Haha. You were there!’

Sammy T: ‘But you acted so happy and normal, like HE WAS WEIRD for being IN CLOTHES.’

Me: ‘Hi! How are you? Yeah, i’m fine thanks. Where do you need me to sign? Oh, I don’t need to sign anything? Oh, they’re divorce papers. Lol’

He just sort of looked up, professionally grinned and when I warmed him up with my tragic banter, he said…

‘I don’t know who the hell is divorcing YOU. He’s nuts! Haha.’

(It was Keiran…The now Jehovah’s Witness. He’s like the only Jehovah’s Witness, who’s proud that he was once married to me. Haha. I’m not sure, that’s the rules?)

Tickets to Hell. Buy one get one free!

(I’m getting a Flashback of being in one of Juniors Parents Evenings with poor Mr.Barker, who had to watch us bicker and the have an argument about drag queens and why the Bible should/shouldn’t read ‘Adam & Steve,’ Instead of ‘Adam & Eve.’ Hahaha.)

If nothing else, I have SO MANY ace memories. They’re just great. I can’t believe how many utterly accidental, yet deliciously amazing things have happened to me through life? Like just popping up in Hollywood, with a suitcase and forcing someone agent to represent me. Haha. Like skipping to ITV in Manchester, with a mate to some auditions and 2 weeks later moving into some telly mansion, to win Paris Hilton’s heart.

Fi: ‘She walked in all relaxed and determined. Didn’t care one bit that everyone was watching her and gave it some welly. As soon as she opened her mouth, I knew she’d get it.’

(I was actually terrified, but when you’re on the spot and having to commit to anything BIG, all you have is that moment and there’s no way out…I always figure that you might as well GO FOR IT…That way it’s done and you can have a sit down.)

Producer Call: ‘Hi! Chrissie! Just wanted to tell you, that we’ve seen a lot of great people and…well…we’d  love you to be on the show!’

Me: ‘What? OMG! SCRRRRREEEEEAMS…..’

BBF Samuel: ‘We were filming at The Dorchester one day, with Jackie Collins. Jackie ‘Flipping’ Collins and whist we were stood in a corridor, waiting to go back in, to see if we’ve won a challenge. We’re all nervous. We’re all tense. Paris is in there. We have no cameras around us at this point. Chrissie…out of nowhere starts screaming at the top of her voice, like a teenager and running down the hallway because she’s just seen MEL B! Hahah.’

Me: ‘OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!!! IT’S ******* MEL B!!!!!’

BBF Samuel: ‘Then she walks into the room, all proper and regal, filled with cameras, like she hasn’t just been a total maniac and WINS the fucking challenge. Haha. I love her. I don’t know how she does it??’

Other BBF: ‘It’s because she tries to bamboozle you with banter and boobies, like she doesn’t know what she’s doing…When she absolutely does! ALL OF THE TIME. I mean she won every single challenge, but two and she only didn’t win those two, because she was put on a team. Lol. She hates being on a team.’

(This is why my marriages don’t work out.)

Ruby: ‘At school, I refuse to work with a partner, when the ask me too, because I prefer to work on my own. I learn things better, when I work on my own.’

Anyway, away from all that…

I’m loving ‘I’m a Celebrity’ right now! Are you? It’s been cast really well this year, right?  They’re all fun and well humoured. I’m enjoying it. The characters are great. There’s someone for everyone.

I certainly want to BE John Barrowman. (I mean he smashed that last trial.) AndI definitely want to date Fleur East. (She’s so swag.)  I’m loving Anne because she makes my heart smile. Her quirkiness is almost adorable. But all of them…Emily, Rita, Harry and the rest…are just great and there’s usually always someone who rubs me up the wrong way. Lol.

Yet, so far….no. I’m loving it. I’m even loving Holly & Dec. Everything. The whole shabam. It’s great!

 I’m hooked…

Having something to watch it fun!

 

 

 

Mums Night, Pink Gin & Trainer’s named ‘Oral?’

You have my greatest apologies for the lateness of this blog. Life is deliciously manic right now. It’s mad. Yet the word i’m gonna focus on is ‘delicious.‘ Anytime I have, where Wunna Land turns ‘lickety lips, Mmmm yeah,’ we’re still okay right? I’m still okay, right?

I’m excited.

(My eyes are sore as hell today, though. I fell asleep on the sofa by the Christmas tree and shocked myself up by a Tiger Beer, with only one eyelash on. Don’t you dare try and tell me i’m not a superstar! Haha.) 

I’m currently over the moon. I’m feeling lucky. I’m feeling grateful. But before I *shimmie* my way to all that, good stuff….Thursday night was  School Mums night.

A night that I weirdly treasure….

It’s actually taken me ages to write this blog because I couldn’t decide which bits were real, which bits i’ve made up in my head and which bits I actually wanted to tell you about?

I’ve had writers block. No. That’s a lie, i’ve had a muddly head over it all…because I can’t tell you everything, the way I want to to tell you it. 🙂

Oh LORD! Haha.

In the end (which is now,) I just went with… ‘blog it out anyway.’ I’ve got so much going on with First Dates episode airing soon etc…I just need to get back on my Unicorn and frisbee this blog out. Y’know, ‘move the road work signs‘ myself, instead of fucking around, like a noodle. (Do noodles fuck around? Haha)

So here goes….

Thursday night. I had two events that I could’ve gone to, or a film premier if I fancied. I turned them ALL down to go on School Mums night. It was my first choice of action, because I adore the mums and why not hang out with a bunch of people I DO know, instead of walking a red carpet with a bunch of people I don’t really know, right?

Events are work and I get that I have a tv appearance about to air. I understand that, I should be concentrating on the ‘being seen part of life, right now.

Yet at 37, i’m not so arsed about the ‘show’ of it all and utterly happy with the fact that I get to keep it simple and just ‘diary’ life out.

Some call it ‘dumb.’ Some call it ‘smart.’ I call it real. 

However, I AM GOOD, at ‘the show’ of it all… 😉 I just prioritize differently….now that i’m a grown up.

Anyway, School Mums Night.

( School Mums night doesn’t happen often. Yet, these ladies are all ladies who I respect and if i’m being honest, I really enjoy being around them. It’s the real life engagements that matter to me, always. That’s why I adore the 30 year old version of myself, because the 20 year old ‘Hollywood’ version of me….would’ve chose differently.)

I’m rambling…Let’s get to it…

(Why am I fucking rambling??? POUR ME A COCKTAIL!!)

Thursday night, I’m with the Mums at Ego, in Ackworth. We all have kids who go to a nearby Private school and since our children are doing this journey together, we try to be close. We try to make the effort to stay close and be acquainted, via the fine art of Whatsapp groups, kindness and all sorts.

These ladies are GREAT WOMEN. Successful women. Y’know, the powerful kind and you can see each of their stories when you look into their eyes.

I scanned the table and read each one’s life, in a second….I always do that, but I tend to wiggle it off with banter and bimbo-isms. 😉 

Their souls are alive, dominant and strong. They’re busy women, or home makers. Yet there’s a warmth to them, even though they seem like they’re the Queen of their own worlds.

I find it ravishing.

We’re all different from one another. But we’re ALL WONDERFUL. 😉 We each possess our own superpower. I couldn’t have celebrated Thursday night… with a better set of Ladies.

THANKFULLY, it was OVER WINE… 🙂 Haha.

We were actually meant to go to Wakefield, to do tapas at Jose’s. Yet at the last minute we ended up at Ego in Ackworth, simply because it was easier. Some were fine. Others were distracted by traffic, by Christmas tree lighting’s, hard times and Dr. Ranj.

I personally didn’t actually care where we went, (I didn’t want to see Dr.Ranj though. Haha. I’d already seen him gyrating merrily at the Diversity in Media Awards on the dance floor, in a beautiful suit and he was ace. I’ve already ticked that off my bucket list. Just give me a strong cocktail.) 

ANYWAY…

‘Shall we make it Ego?’

(Miss.Murphy is always great because she’ll catch a vibe and solve a problem immediately. She’s sexy. I’ll catch a vibe but do nothing about it. Haha. She’s good at directing. She’s good at Sheep herding. She can cut through the muddle, the mist. She heard dithering and she whopped it’s ‘baby powered’ ass, with ‘ooh laa.’)

Me: ‘Honestly, it could be in Paris and I’d fly there…’

(I’d like a Mums dinner in Paris. I need to tug at their inner adventure… 🙂  Saying that.. Miss.Muprhy & I couldn’t even remember to show up at the right time for school pick up yesterday….Maybe Paris is a bit of a lofty goal…? )

Miss.Murphy: ‘I forgot it was ******* Christmas Bauble Painting. I’m sat in my car waiting..’

Me: ‘ME TOO! I’ve had to go to ******* Ego..’

(You’re allowed to go to the bar, when you do things wrong. Don’t judge me. Plus, I get away with it because I’m the wild one…)

I’m certainly the most annoying School Mum. But I just like a good time. Then I like to dash my ‘good time’ with uncensored banter and with a wine glass in my hand.

I reckon I’m an alcoholic…Not even a functioning one…

Everything got sorted…(Not by me. Lol.) I just went with ‘whatever,’ because at the end of the day..fuck it. I need wine and I don’t like spaces between my wine drinking. 😉

Booyah!

I arrive at Ego first because I had a meeting there previous for a Cosmopolitan feature. Lil’ Miss Childs joined me, but tried to scare me with the old ‘cold hands’ trick.

(My arms do ‘Karate Chops’ if you try and scare me. I don’t know why or how? They just burst into ‘Karate’ mode and I think it’s bevause I’m Asian?)

Lil’ Miss Childs: ‘I tried to scare you…’

Me: ‘You can’t scare me when i’m sat in front of a giant mirror that can SEE YOU, you idiot. I told Miss. Murphy, that i’d punch you if you didn’t get drunk tonight.’

Lil’ Miss.Childs: ‘ Hahah. I’m getting a drink..’

I love Lil’Miss.Childs. She’s fun and puts up with my bullshit.

Everyone starts arriving one by one and getting a drink at the bar. The pleasantries are made. It’s always polite and head noddy at first…Until it kicks in. Then my squinty little eyes saw a new Mum venture to the bar and bring back an entire bottle of red as her first drink…Lol…So, I figured, dinner was either going to go REALLY well, or really badly. 😉

YIPPEEE!!!

We’re all seated at a really long table at Ego…and our dinner out commences…

I could’ve sat at the table and just drank all night. I’m really not an eater, on a night out. I’m awful for it. But I got the linguine and swirled it into my belly for substance.

Drinks, dinner and all sorts were served over banter…and even though some of us are closer than others, we kinda got to know a little bit more about the person sitting next to us…..via the fine art of polite ‘drilling.’ 😉

I’m a shit, so i’ll just talk, without censor. It is literally ‘The Real Housewives of Yorkshire.’

(I’m still not over the fact that School Mum Lori turned ‘Real Housewives of Marbella’ down. Lol. I love Lori madly…Especially now that I know she can ice skate backwards!! I love anyone who can ice skate because I think it’s so beautifully impossible!!)

Then she said this…

‘I just wanted to smash that bottle of wine over her head.’

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Her daughter had the most brilliant ‘Greatest Showman’ themed party, and some really forgetful lady, who owned the party venue forgot to show up, open up and let Lori in to set up. (She apparently showed up sometime later…with a bottle of wine. Haha.)

More drinks were poured. More table banter was exchanged. New Mum ‘Alice’ had arrived.  I like Alice because I bumped into her the next day and she was alarmed at how little everyone drank…

Alice: ‘I was planning to get a taxi home and roll in late. But no-one seemed to be drinking, so I just had a gin & tonic?!’

Me: ‘You we’re just sat at the wrong end of the table! 🤣🤣’

(I’m sure I woke up still pissed?)

Anyway, after linguine we get talking about working out…

Lori: ‘You need to do a class..’

Me: ‘I think I need a trainer.’

Miss.Murphy: ‘You need MY trainer. His name is ‘Oral!’

HOLD UP! What!?! As if she has the joy of being stretched out and trained by a burly ‘chunka hunka’ who’s name is pronounced ‘ORAL!’

I want her life! I want ‘ORAL.’ If she doesn’t share him, I’m going to poke her in the eye…She can’t run well with ONE GOOD eye, can she? Then he’ll be ALL MINE!!! (Saying that, she’s raising some kind of sports champion..)

Miss.Murphy: ‘His name’s pronounced *ORAL.* I can walk into work and say *i’ve just had 30 minutes Oral and i’m aching…* They love it!’

Whoever he is! I need him. Does PT-ing work the same here, as it does in LA? 😉🤣 I swear all my guy friends took jobs as personal trainers, when we were young, simply to ‘bone’ as many Beverly Hills Mums, as possible. Now, that I AM a Mum…I’m kinda in!

Then we talked work, PR, Uni, Goldsmiths, Professional Present Wrappers…

Me: ‘Who the fuck can wrap like that!’

Lil’ Miss Childs: ‘I CAN, Chrissie!’

Then we went onto life, partners, money and it came to paying the bill….

So…

USUALLY…we don’t care who’s had what, we’ll just split it, right?

Normal protocol…

But for some reason, it all got really complicated…and I don’t enjoy complications. I’m lazy like that….I like things to be easy….and…I kinda like things to be socially correct. Lol.

I went with it anyway, because I felt too awkward. Haha.

The night ended merrily…

With text messages like..

‘Your carriage awaits..’

Followed by…

‘I’m on my way…’

Everyone ventured home and I stood outside, to have a farewell banter with Miss.Murphy & Lil’Miss.Childs…

Farewell turned into…

‘Let’s have more drinks…’

‘Where?’

’There’s tons of pubs up here…!’

‘COME ON!’

‘No, I’m being sensible..’

‘We’re going for drinks…’

And before you know it, Lil’ Miss.Childs and I were strutting up to the next pub, at around 11pm, talking love…

Miss.Childs: ‘You should be with Pete! I like him. I’ve been with Dylan since I was 15!’

Me: ‘Nooooo… I’m not being with Pete. We just co-parent well! Everyone loves PETE! Haha.’

Just like that, I blinked and found us sat in a cosy village pub, all warm and merry, with giant pink gins as our companions.

We laughed the rest of the night away, loudly, merrily and without a care in the world…WITHOUT censor.

Then i’m sure she tried to convince me that she wanted to be a ‘Wrapper.’ But everytime she said it, she must’ve looked into my mind because she kept pissing herself and saying…

‘I keep saying WRAPPER, but it’s sounding like I mean RAPPER. Lol’

I couldn’t take her seriously after pink gin!

I was literally in stitches because every second she said ‘wrapper’ I imagined her desperately wanting to be a gangsta!

What a great way to end the night!

Me: ‘Should we have another…?’

Lil’Miss.Childs: ‘Chrissie! They’re shut now!!’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blending Out Bullies, My Love Life &The Future….

Afternoon, My Cheeky Little Treats!

This morning, I woke up all stressed and anxious.I don’t even know why. Then little bits of life, that respond to the names ‘Ruby & Junior’ filled my world with giggles…At that point, everything was okay again.

I’m having one of those days. One of those days when you need to crawl back into bed, speak to no one for a second, have a moment, y’know…a ‘word with yourself’ and start it all over again.

SIGHS….

However, life is rooting for me, because after the early school run, I looked down at my phone, as I watched my petrol station Costa coffee, trickle out the machine and waved at one of the Dads I know.

Anyway….I saw this on Glamour Magazines Twitter ‘Moments.’

..and it reminded me that not only did I have a purpose, but doing pretty alright at inspiring and standing up for love, myself and for others, who may not quite yet have the balls to ‘sing out loud.’

I’m really proud of the ‘Blend out Bullying‘ campaign and I’m so glad that I joined Glamour Magazines crusade to wave ‘Cya’ to Cyber bullies.

That made me smile. I skipped away from the gas station…(Sorry! I mean .PETROL station. I still think American, for some reason.) Anyway, I skipped away like the happiest bunny in all of the land, because they reminded me that no matter what, in life, I did something that helped make a difference, to someone, somewhere.

(I’d like to see MORE people ‘Blending out Bullying.’ You’re the STAR of YOUR OWN SHOW. Make a difference. See love, not dollar signs.)

As if my favourite magazine is showing Wunna Land some love…and AS IF, I appear on my favourite tv how in a couple weeks.

I’m having to pinch my kitty self…. (Ooh…Vodka spurted out. 😉 ) 

Anyway…

Last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote a blog, in the dark, whilst in bed. I’m utterly CRINGING at myself, right now. YET, I promised myself that I would flipping post it, because it’s how I truly felt, at that particular moment…at that precis time…

AND SINCE THAT’S WHAT I’M ABOUT…

*Rolls eyes…*

Here’s what I wrote…

(Rewind to last night…)

 

I’m literally sat up in bed writing this, because I can’t sleep. It’s only early. I guess around 9.30pm? But everything around me seems so still. So quiet, I feel really calm, yet my mind (as always) is fluttering. It’s busy. It’s racing. I’ve poured a wine, which is sat on my bedside table. I’m typing in the dark. I have no clue why, I couldn’t be bothered to switch a light on? I can’t see my keys, so I feel like I’m typing blind. But it weirdly feels amazing. It kinda feels really real. How all my writing should be done.

I can’t stop thinking about my life tonight and I don’t know why? I want to succeed and make all my dreams come true. Y’know, just do really well, because when you do well at the things you love…you glow and no feeling is better than that. That’s not what i’m thinking about though. I don’t even know why I typed that out?

I’m thinking about my love life.

I know! Surprised right?

I’ve just got back from a late night trip to the supermarket…to buy wine. An elderly lady stopped me. I’ve seen her around a lot. I do know her a little bit. But It usually makes her day when she sees me, because i’ll always stop and chat to her. I love making time for her. I love making her day.

Anyway…

She always tells me how much she loves me because ‘it’s good to see a girl BEING a girl…’

Tonight she told me, that I was pretty…’a beautiful girl,’ but then added…

‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’

I smiled, I thanked her. She was so cute and I adored every minute of seeing her.  I love the elderly, because they’re wise. Even the rude ones are wise. I always respect their words and absorb what they have to say. Times and things may have changed, yet how people FEEL haven’t. You can always, always learn a life lesson from an old lady or gent.

However yeah…

‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’

She’s right!!

Don’t get in a tizzy, as i’m never one to really listen to what others think…But she’s left my mind ticking. She must have. I’m sat up in bed, in my bra and glasses, typing the dark because I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about what she said?

Now, i’ve never really felt lonely. I never feel alone because my world, the world I created ‘Wunna Land,’ is filled with love. I’m surrounded by life. I have a close family, who stand by me. Ruby and Junior, my babies…Their hearts are filled with utter joy for Mama. I have some great friends. Good company at times. I have a mini sized audience, and most of all…I have me.

(I’ve always been my own best friend. I’ve always been really comfortable being ME and i’m happy with what I stand for. Yeah. I’ve disappointed myself loads, through the years. But on the whole…I’m more than happy with who I am. Who i’ve become.)

Right now, I don’t feel lonely. But why don’t I? I should, right? But I don’t…(Even the little old lady feels bad for me, now and she shouldn’t! Haha.)

I almost feel like i’m bubbling over with this exotic life force of happy juice?

It doesn’t matter what you do, provided you don’t harm others, or yourself and you are happy with your official life choices, right?

I know that i’m single and i’m aware that i’m knocking on a bit now. I feel young spirited, yet glad to be a 30 something, as I accidentally brought wisdom and dignity along with me, on my little journey.

God knows how???

I CERTAINLY thought, i’d lost BOTH at one point. I was positive I left them in some bar in LA, when I was 24. Yet, they found me. (And whenever I say God, I am always referring to ‘Bacchus’, The God of Wine.)

Yipppppppeeeeeeeee!

I know, I must NOT be scared to be alone…as I still seem quite happy to go through life picking through boys, and walking away from marriages, because they hurt my soul.

They just weren’t right, because I compromised my heart, myself, or I just wasn’t thinking….

I said ‘YES’ to those marriages impulsively, because I’m a hopeless romantic and I fall in love, when I FEEL excited and I do it so madly…so deeply.

But I  haven’t felt like that in ages.

The last guy that made me feel like that was ‘The Swirl.’ (Who i sometimes name ‘T Bone.’

When I don’t feel excited, I find it really easy to ‘shrug’ the moment off, with a ‘he’s just not the right guy.’

But I like that about me. I know how I feel and i know what love and excitement feels like. When it hits me again, I’ll notice. Yet this time i’ll be ready.

I don’t think there’s an age, when you SHOULD find love. I don’t say anything, but I hate it when I hear chicks, say, ‘I need to be married by 30.’ Or, ‘I need to find Mr.Right by the time i’m…’

You really don’t.

Love to me is always about chemistry…

I’ll find it, but this time I want the real deal.

THE REAL DEAL …

and i’ll wait forever, until I find it.

Until I feel it.

The next time I marry, (if I marry, I can’t decide if it’s an old school concept? I might be ‘blah’ about it because i’ve done it so many times and it hasn’t been right?) I’ll marry the most exceptional man. He’ll be a GREAT MAN. An incredible man…and I DO intend to one day find the man of my dreams. I fully intend on doing that…

Yet, if I don’t…I’m fine with that also. I don’t know why? I guess, I’m like this because i’m happy, right now? Maybe, it’ll kick in when i’m 80 and seriously alone, with all my cats and no one to love.

Knowing me, I’ll still feel fine and pour a rum, for everyone else, in the old peoples home, as I wink at Jeff, with the dodgy back.

If i’m being honest, unlike work, where I create my own opportunities, I kinda expect HIM (The man of my dreams)  to find ME. (Lazy, I know. Lol) I find that far more romantic. I’m traditional like that. Old school romance just gets me going…I’m finding i’m both. I love the art of old school romance, mixed with a modern day twist of unconventional, yet unconditional love.

(Mouthful much!)

I might have already crossed paths with him? I might not…Who knows? I’m just not worried about it and if you’re in the same situation as me, you don’t need to be worried about it either.

DON’T WORRY!

So, yeah….

*SLURPS WINE*

Let’s just go with he’ll find me…

Every single part of my kitten soul, says he’ll find me.

He’ll come get me…

But he’s not as pathetic as I am, so he won’t be slurping wine out the bottle, typing in the dark, in a bra and glasses. 😉

He won’t be sat awake typing a ‘Dear Diary….’ post, because a lovely old lady in the supermarket was worried about his well being.

YET…

..he’ll see the beauty in it…and think, SHIT, that’s exactly the kinda girl I both want and NEED.

I like to feel needed….

I’ve noticed that… (I get that from my Mum.)

Cheers! Hurrah! Sadness for everyone! Haha.

But yes..

There’s a single guy, somewhere in the world right now, who is utterly MADE to be my life buddy, my other half, my ‘bestie, bestie’…my soulmate…my  guy.

And I completely trust that LIFE (you jolly old thing) will have my back and send him my way, with bells on…but when the timing is exactly right.

He may already know it, or he may not? He may have no clue? He may have never ever heard of Wunna land, or even ever met me yet…?

OR, he may already be in my phone contacts…

Who knows…?

But i’m excited…Are you?

(ps/ I don’t even know if i’m gonna post this, because I usually wake up in the morning and cringe at what i’ve ‘tipper tappered.’ My mind goes wild and my keyboard fingers get all excited!! Yet, no matter how cringe, I feel, I’ll promise myself NOW, that I’ll just post it anyway… I mean **** it. It’s exactly how I felt at 9.30pm, on Nov 14th, 2018, right? And that’s what this story, this diary, my lil’ version of life, is all about.)

I messaged Toby back last night, because he had thanked me for writing the blog about him. He was quite the gentleman about the blog…He’s a utterly real being. He’s not dashed in fakery, from the brief bits I know.

Toby: ‘You’ve captured me pretty well in your blog..’

Me: ‘I’m either a really good judge of character, or just really good at stalking. Lol’ 

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

 

pps/ I’ve got a school mums dinner tonight and i’m excited. I’m meant to be at a film premiere…But I opted for the Mamas, over the red carpet. 😉

 

 

When I Did Santa’s Grotto…

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Saturday was a magical. It was divine. I adore Christmas, it’s my favourite time of year. I want us all to pour a Bailey’s and get on with it now. Is it technically still Autumn, but I’m classing it as Winter now? It’s winter as soon as I put my Pretty Little Thing ‘Cheetah Bikini’ away in August. Either way, the earlier I can *whop* out a bit of merriment, a bit of tinsel and wrap it in a ‘warmth’ of happy beams,’ i’m happy.

I love it when things in life make people *beam.* It’s contagious, like the art of  the ‘we’ll just have ONE MORE drink,’ syndrome.

Beam’s make my entire world glow. I kinda need MORE of them. Lol.

(I hope The Gods are hearing me!!! I’ll even take ‘Two For One’ Bargain beams, please.)

Hang on one second. I just need to check someone’s Insta Story.  I heard a song on their story, early yesterday morning…Well…the lyrics to a song, which made me pause and ‘revisit.’ Y’know, it made me remember everything. I even Googled the words…just so I could get lost in the notion of romance for a second…

Yes, I’m that tragic. (Shush you, they’ll be writing memories on me when i’m frail, in an old people’s home with my 99 pet cat.)

Anyway…every Saturday is my big DAY with Ruby & Junior. I always give us something to look forward to. Excitement is important to me, so I plant it in their lives constantly. The excitement for Saturday, also makes Friday night’s magical. Plus, often on Sundays (or late Saturday night’s) for Junior, they  have to ‘tango’ off to their Fathers.

I felt bed for Junior, because had such a GREAT Saturday with me, that he begged me not to take him… (It’s always difficult. But for now, ‘until i’m big’ he says…It’s kinda how it is.)

I get along with Keiran, when it comes to the co parenting situation. We do it well. Yet, we just ‘parent’ so differently, because he’s hyper religious right now..I worry that it effects the babiest baby of Wunna Land. (But I would, wouldn’t I..)

Junior: ‘I’m going to nap…so when I get there i’m asleep.’

He tried. He couldn’t. He whispered…

‘I love you Mama. You’re the bestest Mama I ever had.’

It was 7pm, Saturday night. The streets were dark as I drove to do the ‘drop off.’ . My eyes filled up…but they were happy tears. It’s strange how when you care about a being so much, their gratification of your existence, simply means the world to you, doesn’t it? Lol.

He made me feel like the best Mother in the entire world. I’m certainly not. I’m doing it with ‘L’ Plates on. But if I was judged on unconditional love and fun, like most Mums….I’d pass with flying colours.

Ruby taught me strength, patience & purpose. Junior put the ‘cherry on top’ when it came to LOVING being a single mum.

I’m sure growing up in Wunna land is not that easy, but I KNOW it’s probably the most magical experience ever. Lol.

Anyway…

That’s not what I wanted to tell you about.

Saturday was a dream. The kids and I decided to ‘deck the halls’ and go see Santa’s to ignite our Christmas Spirit. He was arriving at Ackworth Garden Centre (which is known for having one of THE BEST Santa’s Grotto’s in all the land) and when you’re given free mulled wined and mince pies, on demand, upon launch day, it’s literally a parents dream! (We go to this Grotto every year…So it’s kind of a tradition.)

‘Tis the season, Baby!

I want elves with trays of free mulled wine to live in my HOUSE & roam freely ofcourse….until i’m parched.

We got there early for breakfast. We always do.  I mean that’s the great thing, because you can rock up to the Garden centre and have a coffee, speciality teas, breakfast, salad…You name it…They’ve got it. And the coffee shop is lovely! You’re surrounded by Christmas.

The kids were so excited they could’ve BURST. They were up at six o clock in the morning, harassing me and jumping on my bed, madly, because they couldn’t wait to see Santa.

Me: ‘It’s NOT YET! Lol. Santa’s not up yet!!! LEAVE ME ALONE. Haha.’

I laid there half naked, with no face on, rollers in my hair, trying to swallow swear words, in some kind of ‘what the *&*&*&$£”!!8* ‘ wake up, shock.

It was literally like an Asian Earthquake had erupted, in Boobie land. Lol.

Ruby had puked all night, yet seemed to make a recovery come ‘Santa’ time. 

(It’s the magic of Christmas.) 

I’m close to every one at the garden centre. I mean ‘Jenna’ one of my closest friends BUILT THE GROTTO! Can you even believe it! And she loved every single second of it! I certainly couldn’t build a Grotto, but I guess we all have our strengths! Lol. I once saw a pile of logs in my friend’s back garden at 11pm one night. I think we were in London? I tried to convince them to throw some fairy lights on the logs, get a Santa suit and start charging children to come visit.

Friend: ‘I’m sure we can get arrested for that, Chrissie.’

My children have literally grown up at the garden centre. They’ve watched Ruby & Junior tinker through the years and have gone out of their way to adore them always, even when they’re nuts. So, it couldn’t feel more wonderful to go celebrate Christmas and visit Harpin’s Grotto. J It’s my safe place. I have so memories great memories within those walls.

We’ve all shared secrets, had our hearts heal, our hearts break, laughed out loud, bitched, bickered, but most of all LOVED. I’ve made friends for life in that place, over the years.

Just before 2pm, Santa’s big arrival… Ruby, Junior and I went on a ‘Reindeer Hunt.’ I’m rubbish at games like this, because i don’t have the patience or the ability to look enthusiastic or to feel warm, during the outside bits. Haha. I hate the cold. Yet, weirdly, I went with it anyway…and yes, with a smile.

The Christmas Spirit is all around this year!

I hunted for reindeers around the store, inside and out. I loved it. (Even though the first reindeer I found was ‘Cupid’ and as you know, Cupid and I are not always mates. 😉 It’s a rough ‘reindeer hunt’ start!

‘Hey, just to remind you…no dude will ever truly love you…’

Yipppeeee!! Merry Christmas!

Anyway, out of nowhere, like some kind of whirl of a swizzle, I looked up for a second to screeches of joy, as giant Pikachu, Peppa Pig and Paw Patrol Chase appeared from nowhere, as gaggles of joyous kiddie winks, burst with joy…(I’d lost mine by this point, as Pikachu obviously trumps Mum.) And before you know it, Christmas had started…

Santa made a GRAND superstar horse and carriage entrance, outside the garden centre, to children, cameras, selfie mania, characters, mulled wined mums and mince pies.

At this point Ruby & Junior just froze.They froze when they see Santa, because they see him as a figure of authority (lol)…The guy who’s gonna decide what ‘list’ their on, and upon that list picking will hand out presents accordingly. Plus, even though they’re nuts, they’re the politest human beings when it comes to respecting their elders etc…(School taught them another level of class, as let’s face it Wunna Land certainly didn’t. Haha)

It was jolly! It was mesmerizing.

It was exactly, where I wanted to spend my afternoon. I wouldn’t have wanted to be any where else int he world, but there, at that precise moment. My world was complete.I loved watching their hearts flutter….

Then like lighting, they zoomed to the Grotto entrance, to try and shimmie in first…(They went in second lol) and forget the kids, OH MY GOSH, I WAS IN ABSOLUTE AWE, of how amazing the Grotto was!!

It’s always good at the Garden Centre..But this year IT IS UNREAL.

It wasn’t the usual, every Christmas day, shopping centre, give up the ‘be grudging’ pences, walk behind a curtain, get a gift and leave in 3 minutes, after a piccie, kind of thing.

It was…well IS… AND ADVENTURE.

If I could describe the moment as anything…I’d say it was discovering Narnia, at the back of your wardrobe…Yet, instead of lions and witches, you found workshops and happy penguins….I was lost in the magic of the North Pole. That’s where you get your ticket to…and the FIRST THING you can do, (if you wish) is sit and write Santa a letter, IN a mini elves workshop, that you POST.

ALL LETTERS POSTED, GET AN ACTUAL REPLY FROM SANTA!!!!

(That’s even BEFORE, you enter the red garden gates, which is guarded by an elf…as the beginning of the Grotto adventure, lies right before your very eyes.)

You follow a red painted trail, through the snowy North Pole, where you are surrounded by ice skating polar bears, snow balling penguins, the Polar Express train, fairy light cabins…It’s like an never ending adventure. Ruby and Junior discovered a magical moment, with every step they took. They couldn’t have been more stimulated. They couldn’t have been more excited to see Santa.

When we got to his cabin…an Elf stopped us…I didn’t realise, because I was still enthralled with my North Pole journey.

Me: ‘Oh! Sorry! Lol. Have they run in?’

Then as I entered the cabin, to my left was Santa, in a white glowing light…and to my right wasa workshop, sky HIGH with GIFTS!

(I left the kids to secret Christmas whispers with the most nurturing Santa, I had ever seen, as I selfied. 😉 )

He even remembered them from being tiny. My little heart melted. I remember just looking at them and thinking, ‘this is what life is about….’

(Then I thought, ‘shit, I better Insta Story it.’ 😉 )

Now, because it was the launch, both children received TWO GIANT GIFTS FROM SANTA EACH!

If you go to the Ackworth Garden Centre Grotto, you know that the gifts they give out are THE MOST SUPERIOR gifts, in all Grotto history. For the last 7 years, i’ve been to EVERY GROTTO, in all the land…and i’m kinda always disappointed with the gifts that the kids have received (lol) FROM other GROTTOS. (Mainly because you kinda pay a lot for your children to visit Santa, no matter what Grotto, you venture to. So you kinda want the experience and the gift, to be worth it!)

The wonderful thing about the Garden Centre, is that it is FAMILY RUN, business…Not a corporate ‘money hungry/get them in and out’ shindig. Simon and Fiona (who own the garden centre) have children who were once tiny…and did the whole Grotto thing…So THEY know, as parents…and by watching their own children grow….They know what everyone wants!)

For my children, I always lust after ‘the experience’ of it all. I’m a service girl, aren’t I! Nothing is classier, than this Grotto. I could LIVE IN IT! Haha.

Everything from beginning to end, was remarkable.

Junior’s TWO current favourite toys, are ‘Tractors’ and Dustbin Lorries.(He opened his huge boxes…Inside he found a ‘Tractor’ in one…and a ‘Dustbin Lorry’ in the other.

Ruby’s artsy….and she received a beautiful ‘string art’ maker and the cutest vanity treasure chest box, which came with various stationary.

The gifts were crazy. You’d pay so much for them in stores. I was shocked!

Our hearts were filled with joy. Our lives were filled with Christmas. I even had to go thank the owners and Jenna afterward because it was done so incredibly well…that I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it!!!

Ruby and Junior can’t wait to go again. I asked them both to describe the Grotto for you, because let’s face it, that’s why we do it….

Ruby said, ‘It was magical. It was gorgeous. It felt precious. Can you get Jenna to build one in our house?’

Junior said, ‘It was filled with happiness!!!! Santa knew my NAME!! 😉 I got the dustbin lorry that I saw at Toy town!! ‘

So Mums, Dad’s and everyone in between…between your mulled wined sips this Crimbo….Please DO take  a moment, to visit Harpin’s Grotto, at Ackworth Garden Centre.

It’s your ticket to the North Pole!

 

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Panic, Sport, Sexting & Co Parenting

I’m definitely not at the Dior counter anymore,’ said the puzzled Asian Glamour Puss, to herself, like a lunatic, in the middle of Sports Direct, at Xscape, Yorkshire.

Right! So. This morning, I dropped the babies off at school. Well..just Ruby, because Keiran (my ex hubby) dropped Junior off. We saw each other but said nothing, because Keiran’s turned all weird.

Anyway, this term, in P.E (not my favourite subject) Ruby, has football and I’m loving this equality thing, because 20 years ago when I was in school, in the ye old glamour pussy days, girls would NEVER be playing a game of footy, would we? Ruby’s exactly like me, so she’ll hate every minute of it. Haha. But whatever, at least for others, there are now opportunities.

However I’ve decided I hate equality, when i’ve not read the memo and forgotten to buy her football boots, shin pads, socks…and well..everything, she needs for the day. Lol.

I had about an hour to dash off, find the goods and return them to school, so she could at least have a bit of a ‘footy’ go.

I walked around Sports Direct today, like I had been blown in from Kansas, to Oz, in a house that just squashed a wicked witch.

I was lost!

I just looked destroyed and confused.

Anyway, being the drama queen that I am, 😉 I must’ve done it well..because within seconds really helpful, sporty looking, life savers *popped* out of nowhere, to save my soul, from isles that I didn’t even know existed, like fairy godmothers, in tracky bottoms, with ‘happy to help’ name badges.

They probably thought I was stealing. Haha.

Anyway, I simply stated what I needed. My face looked forlorn and within minutes, they whizzed around and..

BOOM..

I paid and was not only out the door, but back at school, like a champ, with the goods, for the loin fruit.

If you were raised a Wunna, you would know that during moments of utter joy, you spank other Wunna’s on the booty, until it jiggles repatedly, out of love and excitement. She couldn’t really do that during playtime, in front of her crew and various teacher, but I saw the ‘Mama Spanky’ Glee, in her eyes.

In that moment, I felt VICTORY.

(Even though I did get distracted and buy breakfast at Starbucks mid rush.) 

The Babies adore me at the minute Being Mum feels great. It’s made single mumming it worth it. Ruby hasn’t been to her Dad’s in ages out of choice and it’s not his favourite, but he doesn’t force her to do anything she doesn’t wish to.

Junior just doesn’t like his dad. He loves him. But he doesn’t like him, because his Father is now a massive Jehovah’s Witness…and with that, comes all this ‘not fun’ stuff. With that comes having to lead a double like at five. With that comes learning how to lie & judge others. Learning how to hide things from his Dad. Learning how to….

You get it. I don’t like it and I don’t like it because i’m so laid back and open about life.

Keiran’s driving me mad with it all. Yet, at the end of the day, I’ll stand up for what I believe is right for my baby boy…He’s a good Father, he just gets lost in bullshit, before he wakes up and realizes, what he’s doing.

But anyway…I’m not here to go on about that…

So big thanks to Sports Direct, for saving my soul. I know nothing about football, at all. Well, maybe a couple things about footballers? Lol.

I’m feeling cheeky and outspoken right now. I’ve got a lot going on. I’m about to shimmie onto your telly. I have anxiety about a lil’ something that is about to happen and in 8 days I quietly celebrate something personal.

I definitely think I have a ghost in my house that cross dresses, because AGAIN, whenever the kids and I are out of the house, I come home and it looks like someone has tried on all my clothes and they smell like a boy’s locker room.

This happened to me before in LA! So I know something’s not right. I just don’t know what?

I’m a glamour puss, if I pick up another, freshly washed garment, that has been mysteriously worn and now smells of B.O, i’m going to go mental.

Anyway, this is just a quick one. All is well. I’m happy. I’m single. I’m living.

I’m still loving answering all your questions daily on my Insta story! It’s actually gone mad. So many people have tuned in and that makes me smile.

I always get asked about guys, dating, sex and all sorts in between and today I got asked about Sexting.

I do enjoy sexting, when i’m having a moment with a guy, that I really fancy. I think it’s hot, in that paticular moment. However, there’s only so much ‘sexting’ you can do, isn’t there? I don’t want them to be all ‘sext’ and no substance. I’m looking for a hero…not just a penis. I’m not just a piece of Oriental that only wants to get ‘pork sticked.’

True love, friendship and loyalty is what i’m looking for.

(Although, I did once cry over a penis, on a mattress in LA. But that’s a whole other story. Lesson learnt.)

Chrissie x

 

Grandma’s, Dick Pics & Birthdays

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Life is great right now. Everything seems to be slotting itself into the right place 😉 and even though i’m wishing for even MORE amazing times to come, i’m not feeling foolish enough to forget that right now, I’ve got it pretty good.

Yesterday, I got you all to ask me questions on ‘sex,’ on my Insta Story and you excelled yourselves. My story hadn’t been viewed as much in donkies years. Lol. But yes, sex is a big part of my 37 year old world, so I really loved answering your questions, simply because I think it still has a bit gummy ‘TABOO’ label, slapped upon it, when it comes to openly chitter chatter.

I’m a cocktailing Glamour Puss. If I know about anything, I know about ‘whisky sour’ dripped sexy time. 

(All was going well, until some sexual therapist woman, decided to hate on me.)

There’s plenty of room for everyone, so don’t try and elbow me out the way. I hate giving direct advice, because I don’t agree with telling other humans HOW to live. All I do is share and I do it by telling MY OWN story and letting people ‘take’ or ‘leave’ anything they want from what the hear.

Anything inspiring comes from MY OWN life experience and emotion and not from from a dusty old ‘Refer to Paragraph A’ textbook.

That’s a polite and glamourous way of saying…

FUCK OFF. 🙂

I’ve loved Halloween, but i’m glad it’s over. I might even light a few sparklers and get Bonfire night out the way, simply to hurry it up to my favourite time of year….

CHRISTMAS.

I’m a December born baby. I have a birthday on the 19th and this year is extra special because i celebrate..

10 years of CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 

I actually hit 10 whole years, earlier in the year. I think March?  But I didn’t want to celebrate being ace, in March. 😉  Instead, I wanted to give myself a big old ‘pat’ on the tequila back ON my ACTUAL birthday…so i’m gunna!

Wiggle.Wink. Hip Bump.

I was gonna throw a big old party, but I decided not to…Instead I’m gonna do it my own way..and you’ll find that out shortly. 😉

Strap in, Dollies.

(Wait, I feel like I need another 11.38am wine. Except it’s now 12.40, so I’m all cool and appropriate.)

It’s lil’ Sam Reece’s birthday today. He’s turned twenty six and it’s great. I’ve loved our paths crossing this year & our hungover Sunday morning snapchat banters.

He’s certainly the sexiest twenty six year old my eyes have ever seen, so I felt the need to post this pic everywhere. 😉 It’s a beautiful piece of art.

Ladies of the world, you can ‘thank’ me later.

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(Oh God. I’m sat in at The Mallard in Doncaster blogging. I always choose the quiet ‘away from absolutely everyone’ corner, but it’s got really busy. A grandma, is out with her grandson and is looking at me every three seconds. She’s doing that thing where her Grandson says or does something impressive, & wants me to acknowledge it also. Hahah. I feel under pressure to perform. Lol) 

This is not what I signed up for. Haha.

Now dudes are hounding my Facebook messenger and sending me photos of their genitalia. I don’t mind a dick pic AT ALL, if I know, and fancy the guy. I think it’s hot. It’s sexy.

Yet, I don’t like dick pics from strangers, at all. It’s just not sexy and not because i feel disrespected. Just because I’m not sexually excited by anyone, until they’ve managed to mentally stimulate me.

Flirt with my mind. Get in my pants. Simples. Haha.

Grandma’s. Dick pics. AND I have a tractor in my hand bag. I just can’t cope. Lol.

WHAT IS MY LIFE!!

Chick friend: ‘Can you not eat a chicken wing, like you’re giving it head please. It’s a family pub.’ 

Me: ‘And don’t I fucking know it! Hahaha.’ 

Right, I’m answering your questions on love & dating today. I’m moderately distracted because there is MADNESS going on around me. Lol.

I keep lifting my phone in the air and pouting to film by answers for you. People keep looking at me, like i’m strange.

I’ll give’em that.

HOWEVER, I do actually think that THESE DAYS, it is PERFECTLY acceptable to selfie take or film for your instagram in public. You’re almost behind the times, if you don’t believe that and frown upon those who do?

Anyway…

Head to my Insta Story and ask me a question on love, dating and relationships. ( @chrissiewunna.)

Thank you for following my life,

Chrissie x

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That Moment Before Halloween Did Me Over ;)

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What a night! What a time! I’m talking about Saturday. It’s now Tuesday, and i’ve only just pulled myself together. If there was living and then there was L.I.V.I.N.G…this Halloween…I smashed it.

Right! Let’s go…

I have been the busiest kitten in all of the glitzy land and it’s not as easy on the old body, as it was when I was 20 something in Hollywood. That’s the truth. Yet, I’m so lucky. I’m enjoying it thoroughly and something tells me that I’m much BETTER at being a 30 something, than any other decade. It kinda suits me well, because i’m tougher now. I was even tough then. I was a confident , yet wild 20 something, moulded by LA life, as I tinkered a career in entertainment. I went through an awful lot. It hasn’t been easy.

That was the first time around…Things happened after that!

This time around I’m NOT 21, i’m 37. I’m wiser, I’ve learnt and things are always better, the second time around.

You take a better shot, because your soul is filled with the correct ingredients. Your life experience radiates and powers over and people open doors for you, with more respect and utter grace. I don’t just mean this in work, but also when it comes to love. Your second shot, is always much stronger, because you’re adjusted yourself and you know what you’re dealing with.

MMmmkay…

(I actually told a guy called ‘Nathan’ that things were better the second time around, as I ate a spinach and pear salad, whilst hungover at Gino’s, in Leeds. My favourite salad ever. I love salads with pears in. I love that I can walk into Gino’s and be treated with absolute love by the staff. I love that I can simply state that i’m so hungover and without me uttering another word, they baby me and know exactly what I need…Lol) 


Anyway. I don’t know how old, ‘Nathan’ was, but I reckon around fifty? He’d run a massive business, that set him in the high money stakes. Then he *ballsed* it all up, by going wild, leaving his wife and spending all this money, before almost going bankrupt.

Yipppeee!

He randomly told me that this was his second time around. (I don’t even know him at all?) But I assured him, that if he concentrated, and wanted it more than anything, y’know, did everything the right way….he would smash it.

Me: ‘It’ll be even bigger the next time around…’

It’s how life works. It’s not about what happens, it’s about the kinda human you are and how you handle that ‘what.’

Okay….

Things are changing for me and it’s a really wonderful feeling. I’m steady away and i’m doing okay. I’m not in a race for success. I love my present and i’m enjoying my time. I’ve got a long way to go. But I don’t look over my shoulder to see what or how everyone else is doing? I just stay focused on my own world, my own version of life and i’ll ‘hit’ my goals, when i’m meant to… Y’know, when life cuts me some slack. 😉

It’s important to refrain from comparing your current chapter to someone’s else’s chapter.

Anything can happen at any time! I’ve watched it and lived it.

Mum: ‘Career first, Chrissie. You can have anything or anyone you want, afterward. Don’t get distracted. I believe in you.’

I’d sailed off a very busy week of meetings, work and bustle. I was exhausted. I hadn’t been sleeping much. My mind wouldn’t let me. Last week, I met so many people. In fact that week, I did so SO much, that it kinda all feels like a blur.

I was still excited for the weekend though!

I woke up and the babies, ‘Ruby & Junior’ jumped on me in bed, with laughter and cuddles. They were bursting with joy! We made OUR Saturday morning, all about Ackworth Garden Centre, because they wanted to go fancy dress Pumpkin Carving, with Peppa Pig. and Mummy.

It was wonderful. It was wonderful because I TREASURE family time. I’m a real family girl, even though I have an independent soul. The moment I saw their faces light up with excitement, my heart was sold. I’m a softy. I love making people happy. It fills me with glee. I’m so proud of them. I’m so proud of how well they’re doing.

They’re literally my world.

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We giggled. We carved. We did Halloween. It’s times like that, when I love being a single mum. When there’s just us…doing life, because no idiots can distract us. Our bond is too strong. We’re so close. Nothing else matters when we’re together as a team.

BLISS….

But oh my gosh, I am so properly SHIT at carving pumpkins, because IN LIFE,  i’m not good at the niggly tasks, the little tedious bits, that you’d usually hire someone to do or have a husband for. Lol. I know that sounded LAME. But I am. I don’t have the patience for the niggly bits. Haha. Yet, on THAT day, I don’t know what happened to me? I did! I got on with it, because I was motivated by love. (It’s the key to success… 😉 )

Jenna: ‘Look at Wunna…’

Me: ‘I can’t do this sober. It’s like wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, you need to be tipsy.’

Let’s say, it was an achievement.

Anyway,

We had the most amazing family time…and that’s what I love about my life right now. It’s feels pretty balanced.

I actually feel like a really decent human and it’s so hard on me at times, when people (as in guys,) forget to see how lovely the ‘whole picture’ is and not just how great I might be in the ‘sack.’ I’d really appreciate a man, who appreciated me for the ‘whole picture,’ they don’t come around that often in my world…and i’m not saying that I don’t get attention. We all know I do.

But, every single time I look at a guy, after he makes his move and smoozes on in, I always think that he’s ONLY after one thing…and potentially nothing else…because that’s what always happens to me. I don’t think many guys have proved  to me, that I’m more than JUST THAT.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m a grown up girl. I love sex. I’m single. I’m okay. I’m happy. I do hope to find my one. I say that all the time. Yet, I don’t want to comprise my heart, or sell myself short . So being sexy and naughty and flirting is great! It’s part of being a grown up and certainly part of being a single 30 something. It’s hot and i’m sensual by nature.

I love it.

It’s sexy and I love a bit of ‘filth.’ Yet, if nothing more develops from it, other than ‘nookie’…and because i’m a girl, I kinda just think that it was ALL, a waste of my time?

Men don’t like to tell me or show me that I could be more to them than that….

I never know why?

Anyway, back to the story….

Where were we…Oh Yeah…PUMPKINS*Deep Breath*

I will tell you that, the last time I carved a pumpkin, was over a decade ago. It’s not my forte. It never has been. The last time it happened,  was out of force.

I was pissed, in West Hollywood, doing Tequila shots, dressed as a Playboy bunny, by a dining table. What I learnt is that, you should never ever carve pumpkins, stone cold sober, if you are a glamour puss. (And when I say ‘Glamour Puss’, I don’t mean a chick, who just wears too much lippy. It’s more of a manner than a look, to me.)  Do remember to  ALWAYS add tequila. Pumpkin carving is harder than you think…until you put ya back into it.

I actually loved every minute. It made my babies smile. They just looked up at me, and wee’d themselves laughing, whilst shaking their heads, as I struggled in my ‘Little Mistress’ faux fur…

Ruby: ‘Look at Mum trying to cut out pumpkin eyes. She needs a wine. Haha…..’

Then we walked over to ‘Ego,’ (I’m actually blogging from ‘Ego’ now with a wine,) for pasta, salmon dill fishcakes and mocktails, before I grabbed all my stuff, tried on my Ann Summers Devil’s outfit, sipped a quick ‘get ready’ vino, kissed the babies ‘good bye.’

I then *blinked* and found myself on the train to Leeds City Centre.

I checked into Park Plaza…

I love checking into Park Plaza, simply because it’s easy, styish, comfy and SO WELL LOCATED. Nothing’s a bother. Plus, you can’t really beat being *slap bang* in the middle of the city centre. It’s a ‘dolly’ strut distance from EVERYTHING. It’s in the most perfect spot. I’ve stayed there a lot. I always try to stay there when I need to

I don’t know whether it’s just me? But I LOVE that moment when you check into a hotel, get through all the pleasantries..

Reception: ‘Good Afternoon, Miss Wunna….You’re on the 14th floor..’

Man at bar: ‘Hi, how are you? You’re stunning. Where are you going tonight?’

… and then you finally *whoosh* yourself up to the 14th floor, slide in, shut the door, turn on the lights, turn on the tunes and BOOM! BLISS! You’re there! You’re done….You chill and sip your wine, in peace. (But then Insta Story, the hell out of it all. Haha.)

Within moments of hair doing, face doing and wine sipping… I was here…

I felt so alive. I felt so fun. I usually hate Halloween. But this year I was excited. I don’t know why I was excited? It’s something that I don’t bother celebrating often.  I was just in a really good mood. So after a couple facetime calls, I was out!

(Well technically, I had to go find Aaron &Stephen the Paps, because they couldn’t find parking and didn’t know exactly where they were, for the Zanetti bash.)

Steve: ‘The Sat Nav, says it’s literally just around the corner…’

Aaron: ‘We’re parked outside this building…It says GVA on it?’

(Sends me a picture.)

So, being me, I walked up to find them…within the city streets of Leeds, at night…dressed in my slutty devils outfits…in stockings & horns. Haha.

Dude: ‘Are you not scared?’

Me: ‘No. I’ve lived. I’m not scared of a 2 minute walk, dressed like this. I’m more concerned that i’m COLD. I hate the cold. Lol’

I don’t think i’ve ever got hit on as much in my life!!??!

And the sad thing was, I was strutting through the streets, with my head held high, like I didn’t even know I was dressed like a slutty devil. I was like Beyonce….but shitter.

The funny thing was that, when I got into the lift on the 14th floor, it stopped at the 10th.  The doors open and a poor handsome guy, who was waiting to jump in, must have got the shock of his flipping life.

Imagine your lift doors opening and I’M THERE, laughing, dressed as Devil, with all my boobs pouring out and with a sequinned pokey stick, tapping against my thigh!

Hahahah.

Guy: ‘I can’t tell whether this is real or a prank? Lol’

Me: ‘I’m so sorry. Haha. Don’t feel awkward. It’s real.’

Guy: ‘No. No. I don’t feel awkward. You look beautiful! Where we going? Hell?’

Me: ‘Yeah…Probably…Haha..’

Guy: ‘Honestly….Where you off?’

Me: ‘Just some party. I’m actually going to find my friends..’

Guy: ‘What you doing afterward?’

Me: ‘I’m going to sleep…’

(This was our convo from the 10th floor to reception, in our lift.)

Anyway, I managed to find ‘The Boys,’ Aaron & Steve, snuggled warm in their Audi, on King Street. (A life of a pap is certainly rewarding, but must so hard. It was a freezing cold night and to think that they had travelled from city to city, having to wrap up warm like lil’ snuggly bears, to take pictures of celebs, whilst being stood outside in the cold for hours… is not easy.)

But they do it and they don’t even moan. Plus, it must be shit having me sat in the back of your car, poking you with a Devil’s stick, and moaning because I want booze.

They got ready to shoot, I stepped into a bar named ‘Box,’ just on the corner. I’ve never been there before, but fire eaters where outside and I knew that Tattu & Blackhouse wouldn’t let me in in Fancy Dress…so I headed in and it was fun.

It was actually filled with loads of people who were headed to Zanetti’s Halloween party…I ordered a wine, talked to a clown, Catwoman told me she thought I was ‘stunning’ then this business man, from down south, hit on me…and tried to make me stay with him for the night…

Me: ‘I’m going next door now..’

Guy: ‘What time are you done? Can I not give you my number. Call me afterward…’

Me: ‘I’ve godda go…’

I show up at Aspire, which is where the ‘Zanetti/Sleepin is Cheatin’ night was being held.  I check in with the boys…who were waiting outside, freezing cold, but camera ready…

Security are lovely to me, Amy (Zanetti’s PA) showed me straight in, a wrist band was strapped on me and I was guided upstairs to the VIP.

Then the night began….

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Halloween, Mystical Nights & Pink Eye?

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Morning, my delicious Tricka Boos. So much is a going on, I feel like i’m ‘jiving’ along, at the speed of light, and whizzing past minutes, hours and days, on a tank that may read ‘empty.’ I’m having a blast. But i’ve got a lot of niggly bits on my mind and when you have ‘niggly bits’, you don’t really sleep to well, or rest too peacefully, do you?

Instead, you kinda ‘niggle,’ and that is my problem.

I’ve been up since 4am. Got home early, yet didn’t sleep until late.

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Last night was magical, I celebrated the Burmese Lighting Festival, with Buddhist monks, in darkness, surrounded by only candlelit tea lights, fairy lights and draping oriental lanterns. It was beautiful and I had never felt more at peace…even in the cold and I hate the cold. Two hours before that, I was picking out the Wunna Land Christmas Tree theme, with Flamingo baubles in my hands.

My life is just NUTS.

If you know me personally, you’ll know that one of my favourite things is candlelight, and dancing flames. There’s a sexy energy that I feel, when i’m swirling by fire. But I’m a Sagittarius girl, which makes me a fire sign anyway. I guess that completely confirms, WHY I feel so at ease and comfortable around a naked flame.

It’s just the kinda stars I was born under, Boo. 😉

I was definitely tragic, because I did try to get a selfie with one of the monks, but I daren’t ask him, so I had to sly one off. Haha. He would’ve actually done it. He was doing the with people. But fear got the better of me. Haha. I bottled it and hid by a fairy lit tree. I opted for doing that thing where you pretend you’re taking a selfie of YOURSELF, when you secretly have THEM, in the background. Haha. I’m such a loser.

Yippppeeeee!

I am REALLY BUSY right now and the kids are also on Half Term, which makes everything that little bit more ‘juicy.’ This is where being a single mum is SO HARD. It’s like trying to hold up your gin, in a rubber dingy, in a giant storm, whilst your lost at sea.

I’ve lunched I’ve dined, I’ve spun in playgrounds. I’ve cocktailed, I’ve influenced, i’ve worked, i’ve shot, I’ve been Mum, i’ve travelled, I’ve hit deadlines and schedules, I’ve loved, I’ve shopped, I’ve laughed, I’ve played. I’ve picked out THEIR Halloween bits and pieces and we’re all still in one piece.

I don’t even know how?

God! I love them madly.. (Ruby has a party later today. Luckily one of the other mums, Sam… is going to take her there, which helps me out threefold.)

Thank YOU!!!!

I’ve answered your questions on my Insta story,(they’re getting juicer and juicer.) Everyone keeps rubbing in the fact that i’m ‘single’ by asking me if I am 40 times a day. Lol.

I’m a happy singleton. I want to fall in love and get married one day, to my perfect man. Until that time, I’m not worried, he’ll find me. 

I’ve also been called a ‘tramp’ and ‘should work for the Prime Minister’ in one whole day. I’ve rushed around, i’ve tried to keep you all in the loop, on my socials, I’ve not eaten enough, I’ve not rested enough, but on the whole, i’m happy.

I can’t really complain!

I mean JEEZE. I got blessed by Burmese Monks last night. J

In case you’re wondering, I’m not religious by any means, not even a little bit, at all. BUT  i’m a really spiritual chica. I love to get lost in the magic of enlightenment. I find it enthralling and mysterious. If I get to light candles to celebrate full moons, in dark mystic gardens, to bring light to the world with Buddhist monks…why not? I mean, in two days, i’m off to Tom Zanetti’s Masquerade Ball,  in Leeds, for Halloween…which probably couldn’t be more opposite. Lol.

I’m gonna NEED to be blessed, before I walk into that shindig.

I swear there’s only sinning allowed.

But again, it’ll be fun. I always support Thomas madly, because you’ve got to have ‘Team Yorkshires’ back always.  In my eyes, he hasn’t done badly at all, has he? I read a lot of people hating on him on Twitter last night…and I didn’t really find it fair. But the more successful you become, the more people have something to say. Be it good or bad? That’s why I always say, that the NUMBER ONE THING you need, in any form of career in entertainment, is a really strong mindset.

It’s tough.

Yet, if you’re emotionally comfortable and have the heart of a lion, you’re waaay ahead of the game.

I’m always really tough when it comes to ‘the haters,’ because I feel so confident and happy right now. It doesn’t get to me, at all now? It’s almost as if, nothing can break my ‘happy place’ and whatever they say, just dissolves away.  I’m 37. I’m grown. I grew up in Hollywood, where things are hard on you emotionally, every single SECOND of every day. It schooled me well. A little ’Keyboard Warrior’ here and there from…(put in any place you fancy,) isn’t gonna melt my soul or trip my strut.

However, that doesn’t make it right, so this morning, I sent an important DM to someone, to see what I could do, to help them stop all cyber bullying.

I wonder if they’ll reply?

Okay…Away from that…

I don’t have an outfit for the Masquerade Halloween ball yet? I don’t know what to go as? I don’t know where to look? I need to be in it, by Saturday at 8pm, on a red carpet for quick pictures, (literally seconds,) before the evil booze up.

UGH!

I organise everyone else perfectly, but when it comes to myself, I leave myself ‘last place.’ Lol

I feel like I have no time to organise it, but i’m gonna have to try and keep ‘my frillies’ crossed.

I don’t have time to get fitted into anything..So i’m gonna do what I do best, which is just ‘wing it’ with a wink. (I currently have conjunctivitis, which everyone keeps mistaking for ‘pink eye.’ My wink is actually sore. Haha.)  

Yipppeeee!

Lord help me…

I love you, always.

Thank you for following my life.

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