London, Thai Brides & ‘The Worm’ in Budapest

I arrived at Kings Cross Station at around noon, after getting stuck in Peterborough for a sassy short while, which was after an evening of ‘good times’ with Zanetti at Mission Leeds.

I slept on the way there, so I didn’t feel dodgy at all, to be fair. I did good. I’m pretty good at prioritizing, these days. If I need to be somewhere, no matter where life has taken me the evening before, I’ll be there. It can honestly be the crack of dawn. If it’s important, i’ll be there.

I had a really important meeting in London….so I made it there, in one glamourous piece, after a snuggle with my babies and a snooze on an early morning Sunday train. (Sunday trains are busier than you think. They’re annoying because everyones reserved a seat, meaning you think you have nowhere to sit, However, no one shows up for their seats because they’re hung over or can’t be arsed,….meaning you’re sat or stood somewhere you didn’t want to be and for no real reason at all.)

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Now, again…I can’t tell you anything about my meeting, other than the fact that it was a PR meeting, a career meeting and that I was greeted outside Platform 3, at Kings Cross Station.

After attempting to chat ‘work,’ at Five Guys, where the music was too loud, the tables were wibbly and with a Corona in my kitten hand.

‘What? It’s the hair of the dog? I’ve been up all night…’

(I love that I can rock up to a meeting, in a giant white faux fur, sit in a burger joint, order a Corona at 12.01 and simply smile with a..

 ‘I did a Launch Party last night. I’m knackered. Everyone was there. I really need this Corona. Anyway…yeah….where’s my career headed, doll?’

‘We need to go somewhere else. I can’t even hear you. It just needs to be quieter, so I can take notes and chat about everything.’

We moved to a much more peaceful venue, where you could talk career, Wunna Land and the art of ‘moving forward.’ I definitely looked like a ‘Mail Order Bride’ (i always flipping do and it’s annoying.) But after 2 hours and after dreams and hopes were bagged up and scheduled, I popped into the Great Northern Hotel for a quick Merlot before my train back onto Northern soil. (I love the GNH because the couldn’t be nicer to me. The service is impeccable, I have hundreds of tales to tell, from that joint, the cocktails are a dream, they decorate their ceilings with giant chandeliers and because it’s right next to my train home, i’m two steps away from safety.)

Yet, these days, things are simple in Wunna land are they?

OFCOURSE a strange woman found me immediately. Ofcourse, she sat with me and wanted to tell me all about how rubbish her love life was because the guy she had been dating, wasn’t over his (believe it or not) Thai Bride. Lol. I listened. I tried to be helpful. But she didn’t want help. She just wanted a moan and a selfie.

My phone rang and it was ‘London Business Man’ and because I actually TOOK the call, and stopped giving her attention for ONE SECOND, she got in a mood and started calling me  a prostitute…because I ‘looked like one?‘ Lol

Cheers, Cuteness!

I was literally ON THE PHONE, to one of my REAL LIFE FRIENDS and she kept talking over me, to me and making me leave the guy (‘Billy’) who apparently doesn’t love her anymore, actual VOICEMAILS.

Me: ‘Billy doesn’t need to talk to me… I’m on the phone.’

It was crazy. She turned crazy. It all went tits up!

She eventually left and I was kinda glad, because I hate rude people. I’ll sit and chat to anyone. I’m great like that. But don’t be a melodramatic twit over nothing…then take it out on me. I didn’t cheat on you with a Mail Order Bride.

By this time, I had moved outside, (like ya do) and  as London traffic whizzed me by…. I just wished I was home. When you’re knackered…travelling is THE WORST. But ofcourse she followed me, with her luggage on wheels…and in her drunken state, just rambled on about how hard done by she was…because of Thai Brides. 🙂

 It felt looooooooooooong.

I eventually got home. I couldn’t wait to get home. I was finally back on Northern soil. I even text my mum from the train (lol) just for comfort….. and that night I went to bed at 9pm and slept like a baby, ready for my next day, my next early morning of work.

Last weekend was MAD. One minute I was with Santa, the next I was watching Tom Zanetti throw dwarves at people in Leeds, then I blinked and I was in a huge PR meeting in London with a Corona, and then underneath a chandelier some drunk lady decided to take out her history with Thai Brides out on me, whilst telling me she was a fan of my blog. (Kinda hope you’re not reading this.) 

Luckily, the great thing about life is that things quickly go back to normal, doesn’t it? Let me tell you that my faith in sanity and Wunna Land has now been restored.

I mean anytime you saunter into a room, on the 2nd floor of a building and ‘Hustle Barbie’ says,

‘I woke up in a bikini, after a SPATY (which is a pool party in a spa,) at six o clock in the morning, on the floor… in Budapest, before having to come home to Leeds…..’

…you know all is well.

She actually also performed ‘The Worm’ for a bunch of Hungarian men (which is her party piece when drunk and once they watched her do it, they looked at her and just went with ‘Nah….’

‘You always do the worm…’

‘Yeah, cos EVEYRONE MAKES ME!!!! My arms still hurt.’

I had a phone call yesterday, whilst I was tinkering into Marks & Sparks for a quick salad. This phone call was from the same human, who gave the ‘the shocking phone call’ a couple of weeks back. I hadn’t spoken to them since. I had just left them to do their own version of life.

Last night, I didn’t blog because after a mad weekend and a Parents Evening for Ruby, (fyi/ Ruby’s parents evening was amazing, completely different to the one I had to go through with Keiran, for Junior.  I don’t even know how Juniors teacher and I got through it without having to guzzle 42 wines? But yes, Ruby’s parents evening was an opposite kind of experience . Pete sat there and filled up with ‘I’m so proud of her’ tears, which means a lot doesn’t it? I mean, we’re not together and haven’t been for years, but we co parent with such ease and love for our little one….that it’s magical.

I love Ruby and Junior with every inch of my soul, so after a really busy weekend of work and madness….ALL I WANTED AND NEEDED was to spend my time with THEM. Even tonight, we’ve had the most peaceful yet hilarious evening together….and I just watch them grow up before my very eyes with amazement. I’m a really lucky girl. They make my entire world worth it.  I mean, we may have our ‘ups’ and we certainly have our ‘downs,’ yet regardless there is such a deep love and strong bond between the three of us.  We make each other feel really special.

Anyway,where was I? I keep going on these tangents!!

Today, the guy that I can’t tell you anything about yet, who had made the ‘shocking phone call’ a few weeks ago, had also called me twice last night. I missed the calls because I was in bed early. However, this afternoon, whilst I was in a creepy cellar with a Beth, learning the alphabet, I called him back to see what he wanting.

This human NEVER FAILS to shock me. So i’m there in this cellar, now looking at bottles of prosecco, with the alphabet around my cobwebbed heels, shouting sentences at him, in order to conjour up some form of sense, clarity and ‘now what we gonna do’s?’ It was hilarious. These shocking phone calls are always left with an ambiguous ending , where anything could occur….? In the New Year, I’ll tell you ALL about it. Right now…I’m just not allowed to. Lol But we’re gonna have to meet up and talk through everything…recap and recoup…..The only thing I can tell you about the convo is this….

Guy: ‘My situation’s changed….’

Me: ‘Well you need to sort it out because…’

Don’t hang out in cellars..they’re creepy. EVEN IF, there is unopened Prosecco in there.

Regardless to all that, i’m home. I’m working tomorrow. I’ve chilled all night with the babies. ‘London Business Man’ said he was wanted to take me out to dinner. Junior has become obsessed with the calculator on my phone. Ruby has braided my hair, so that I too can be a unicorn? I’m sipping a wine. I’m really missing someone. My feet hurt. My phone won’t charge. I’m second guessing myself. I’m so proud of Australia for VOTING YES, on marriage equality. I’m learning to concentrate on what I’M DOING and not on what EVERYONE ELSE is doing.

But life on the whole is WONDERFUL.

I’m the luckiest girl in the world!

Adam & Steve…

I’m headed to Liverpool today, to shimmie in a ‘Whinge of The Week’ with Ian Walker. I don’t even know what i’m going to do or say? But i know they’ll be prosecco, so i’ll show up and love it. Infact, he’s just messaged me and I think i’ve got all my times mixed up.

I’m currently sat on the edge of my bed, with Pink ‘So What’ playing in the background, the brightest, most misleading sun beam is thrashing it’s way through my window and onto my laptop screen, so I actually cant’ SEE anything i’m typing and i’m having a bad face and hair day. (One of those days where your face goes wrong and your hair follows suit. Yipppeee.)

It’s freezing. I’m freezing. Rocco the kitten is galloping around me. I’ve knocked over a random can of Pepsi that one someone has accidentally left by my bedside table FLOOR and everythings ‘chappy.’ You’ll have no clue what I mean. Infact I’m surprised I do right now. But all my face is dry and my lips are chapped. I’m  CHAPPY. I need a big oily ‘once over.’ (Now Rocco, the kitten has leapt onto my dressing table and kicked foundation all over the floor!

What is today!

I’ve just done the school run and the positive is that nothing was sweeter than showing up with Ruby and hearing Junior shout with GLEE, when he saw us. (He stayed at his dad’s last night.)

‘MAAAAAAAAAMA! RUBY!!!’

I had Junior’s parent’s evening last night. It was a nightmare. I mean, Keiran and I (Keiran is Junior’s Father,) we’re divorced and we co parent the best way we know how. BUT GOSH, we have COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY different views, on how our child should be raised. Keiran’s turned into this massive Jehovah’s Witness (yes) and tenderly FORCES that lifestyle onto Baby Junior.

Junior has been raised in WUNNA LAND. My Land. A land where in which fun, glamourosity, no judgement and cosy Mama Love fills the air. And to me…the two worlds are so different, that it’s all a bit nuts…and that is affecting my son, his education and his basic lifestyle beliefs. He’s 4. It’s too much for him. I’m not having it. Let him be 4! I let Junior be 4! There’s no pressure in Wunna Land. He loves it.

It’s nearly Christmas and Junior, Ruby, The Wunna’s and I are gonna dedicate it to family fun, traditions and the festive season…not praising Jehovah, not pulling him away from school, to worship Jehovah..NOT reading the Bible instead and ‘Christmas Dance Offs’ with Ruby, FOR Jehovah. NO Jehovah!

MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmKAY!

I mean anytime you have uttered these sentences in a PRIVATE Parents evening….

‘Adam and Eve were the original humans created by GOD…’

‘Adam and Eve! What if it was Adam & STEVE….You’d have to be okay with that! Junior might turn around one day and tell you that he’s gay!’

‘HE WON’T.’

‘Adam and Steve. That’s gonna be the title to my next blog!’

‘I don’t believe in Christmas. I don’t want him to do anything Christmassy.’

‘No! I want him to do Christmas. He loves the play. He’s so excited for it all. I don’t want him to miss that! I don’t want him to miss Christmas Jumper day, or cracker making. Or anything!!!!’

‘I don’t pull him out of school for anything entertainmenty, so you can’t pull him out of school for anything religious.’

‘What are your views on Sexual preferences?’

‘He’s behind in school.’

‘That Bible was so badly written…’

‘I love your blog.’

‘Your blog is written by Satan. IT’S ALL SATAN.’

‘You’ll be sorry. You’ll BOTH know i’m right, when the world ends and you don’t go to paradise. You’ll both remember this day and be like AH! KEIRAN WAS RIGHT!’

‘I can’t even imagine you two EVER being married to one another.’

‘All this must be a lot of pressure on Junior. He’s only four and already is learning to be one way in Wunna Land and one way with Keiran.’

‘What! It’s cos he’s a boy. I was just the same.’

‘It’s got nothing to do with gender Keiran!’

‘I’m gonna have to agree with Chrissie.’

‘You’re focusing on the wrong thing Keiran. Just seeing him happy and smiling because he’s so excited about Christmas is what matters!’

‘It used to be a lot worse than this. This is the best we’ve got along.’

‘Do you actually even KNOW what Christmas is ABOUT. It’s satanic. Halloween is the worst!!

‘I’m not religious. Christmas is more of a fun tradition to me.’

‘I am SO SORRY. I bet this is the worst parent’s evening you’ve ever had. Haha. It’s like a flipping show.’

‘You need to flash card him. I mean you’re lucky he’s in a private school because I can sit with him personally and help him.’

‘I’m not against him being in a private school. I just didn’t have the same upbringing. It’s fine for Chrissie. She came to this school. I only got a GSCE in PE. School didn’t interest me.’

‘ I think you need to do your meetings separately from now on. It might be best.’

‘I never have to go through this with Pete, when it’s Ruby’s Parents Evening.’

I MEAN HONESTLY! How crazy can a simple Parents Evening be! Keiran get’s so ‘gun ho’ about things with a passion that not even the strongest soul of a lion could tame. His passion makes him forget to focus on what matters sometimes and that..to us……is Junior.

Then it was sad, because when parents evening was over and we had both walked outside, back into the carpark. It was now the dark of night. My mum had waited in the car with Junior and Ruby the whole time. Tuesday night,’is a night where Junior sleeps over at Keirans.

Ruby & Junior had been having so much fun with Grandma in the car, that when Keiran came to take him, he didn’t want to go. He cried, he screamed and looked at me whilst shouting,

‘Just take me home Mum. Just take me home!!’

And it’s in those moments at night, where you’re stood in the cold, at thirty six, with your two children, your mum, in a giant faux fur, on the 7th of November, by a coal grey Mercedes, in a Private School car park, in Ackworth, Yorkshire…and all you want to do is cuddle your baby son..but you can’t because you have to watch him be picked up and pulled away to go to Daddy’s, as he looks at you and cries.

Those moments are hard. Those moments are really hard. Yet i’m taught myself to champion them.

As soon as I got into the car, Ruby looked at me and smiled…

Ruby: ‘I know your heart is breaking mum. I’m sad too. I miss Junior. But you still have ME tonight!!!’

(She beams at me.)

I pause.

My mum is looking at me, through the front mirror of the car. I’m in the back. Then as I breathe out, I too BEAM with the warmest smile, look to my left at Ruby and simply say, like the happiest, most excited person in all the world…

‘Yeah Babe. You’re right. I love you Roo. Let’s have some fun. How was school today??’

..Cos that’s what Mum’s do.

The car engine started and as my Mum smiles at me through the front mirror, we drive home.

It was GREAT seeing Junior this morning!

I’m off to Liverpool. Shit! And i’ve got a phone call to make. Don’t let me forget! Oh no! I thought it was an afternoon Liverpool thing, but it’s an evening!

Are the Northern Trains dodgy today?Why are they all cancelled??

Godda go.

Gino’s, High Fashion Mags & Loading Bays

Gino’s was great on Friday. It was the perfect treat to celebrate my soul, after a trip to Candy Mechanics. As soon as I pushed through that magical glass entrance and into the stylish, baby blue, sanctuary of Italian life, light and love…I was immediately greeted with warmth, a gust of ‘part of the family’ and a distinct zap of (what I call) ‘boujiness.

‘Hi Chrissie! How ARE you! Great to see you again!’

(Almost like i’d never left.)

The beautiful hostess beamed with ‘Wunna’ delight and stylish Italian manager came over, for hugs and ‘welcome back’ kisses. I always feel at home, whenever I walk through those doors. There’s no place like it for me. It’s cosy and immaculate, yet filled with a fun, sophisticated, Italian vibe. Whenever I go, I’m treated so well, that all that’s left to do is to enjoy a freshly frosted glass of prosecco. It’s m perfect. ‘relax after a busy work day’ haunt.

Me: ‘I’m just gonna grab a drink, if that’s okay? I’m on my own.’

Hostest: ‘Do you need me to take your coat?’

Me: ‘No, no, i’m fine thank you. I’ll just head down to the Prosecco bar.’

She smiled like I knew my way…(and I know my way to any Prosecco bar…blind) and as I sauntered down the stairway, I cheekily glimpsed around the restaurant.

It was all a bustle, almost every table filled with good times, families and friends. Infact, it was really quite busy for 2pm on a Friday! I couldn’t see an empty table. Even when I got down to the Prosecco bar for a quiet drink (the prosecco bar was peaceful, I was the only one sat at the bar) the downstairs restaurant was also full. It was filled with a party of handsome, excited, stylish young men. Guys! The boys! They looked like they were celebrating something? But who knows? They had fun! They ordered THE BEST of everything in the entire place! Their bill actually came to a shocking amount and the great thing about them, was that they didn’t care one bit because they had spent it on ‘good times’ and memories.

I looked over at the lady behind the bar, who had already asked me what I’d like..and with a wink and a smile…my frosted glass of prosecco was right there in front of me.

*Looks down at phone.*

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where you at? I’m in Leeds.’

Me: ‘Ginos. You coming? I’ve only got 7 percent battery life…My phone’s gonna die.’

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Yeah. Cool. Stay there. Be there in 20 mins. No. 30 mins.’

Incase you’ve forgotten, Abeiku Arthur is one of my good, good friends. He owns the high fashion magazines, ‘House of Solo’ and ‘Pentagon.’ I love our impromptu catch ups, as we always end up talking business, work and banter. We have these personas of swag, style and grace….(well my ‘grace’ is dipped in moderate SASS,) yet if you were to actually sit in, on one of our conversations, you’d probably DIE of actual ‘holy shitness.’ Nothing is more OPEN than our conversations. He brings the ‘gangsta’ our in me.

Anyway, i’m sat at the bar, sipping prosecco by myself, happily taking selfies and snapchatting life at Gino’s. I’m running out of charge because of this Tom Foolery, and if i HATE anything, I truly dislike running out of charge. (If you know me personally, you will know that I ALWAYS carry a charger.)

Luckily, whilst I was sat at the bar, I noticed a guy sat at the end of the bar, on a laptop, that had a wire that mysteriously disappeared under the bar.

I followed the magical wire with my eyes…and BOOM, I ungracefully plonked my head rapidly under the bar and OH MY LORD, HAVE ALL THE MERCY, to my absolute DELIGHT, under the bar, was charger point HEAVEN. Hundreds of sockets. Life! Light! My heart may have skipped a beat. I plugged in and charged up…Yet weirdly I did it sneakily, because you do don’t you for some reason, when you’re charging your phone in public places? There’s a sense of ‘am I meant to be doing this’ about the whole situation. But you do it anyway?

Abeiku Arthur shows up, with some vintage camera that he’s bought from some vintage store, and takes photos of me to adjust his flipping focus.

We talk work. We talk life. We talk banter. We have some many stories that would shock your soul, it’s almost hilarious. We’re both hustlers. We’re both determined. We both have businesses that have accidentally done well. I love ‘House of Solo’ because I know how hard he works and how bad he wants success. Were both hustlers by nature. I do it glamorously. He does it dipped in a swaggalicious dash of ‘high fashion.’ He loves ‘Wunna Land’ and chrissiewunna.com because, who flipping doesn’t? 😉 But really, to him, i’m amazing because i’m honest. I’m real. We always have these bets on with each other and there has NEVER been ANYTHING SO FAR that I have SAID i’m going to do, that I haven’t done YET! Well..apart from ONE THING.

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where’s my money! You ain’t done that at all!’

Me: ‘Fuck off. It isn’t Christmas yet. I said CHRISTMAS! Anyway, I have a tab open, order a drink if you want.’

‘Nah, it’s cool. I’ll get mine.’

‘You do know, i’m getting a cocktail after this…’

‘You’re not, i’ve parked in a loading bay, so we’re on a timer. You have to come with me to see this chick, who’s got  some camera lights that I need to look at…Oh! I have PR now.’

‘Really who…?’

We finish our drinks, we chat about our next career stop offs. We snapchat and get annoyed at the fact that the double ‘bunny ears’ filter, only commits to one. ME! 🙂  It plays with you doesn’t it?

One face ALWAYS has the ‘bunny ears’ and the other face has to tilt and meander in order to get a ‘look in.’ But it lies to you and tells you that you can BOTH ENJOY ‘bunny ears’ at the exact same time with EASE. There’s no ease about it. You end up in the most awkward head alignment, for absolutely no other reason, than showing people that you’re in a place, with someone or no one, with ‘bunny ears’ on your head…and even worse, we only use a filter because it makes us look better!

Abeiku Arthur: ‘MAN! Where are my bunny ears!!!!’

Me: ‘Ugh! Are we really gonna do Autumn Leaves now…!!’

(He’s doing really well right now. I mean, from Interviews with ‘The Script’ and the guy who sings the ‘She my Bestie, Bestie, she may Bestie’ song 🙂 , dashed with Gucci, Prada, Vogue writers, and Fashion week galore. He could’ve done a lot worse or himself. Lol.)

Abeiku Arthur: ‘And you’re the girl that’s managed to turn the story of her life into big bucks.’

Me: ‘As if you’ve parked in a loading bay.’

Life was great! All was great! I felt really positive all weekend. It was bliss.

The rest of my time was filled with family and baby love. I took the kids out. We had the best time of merriment. We bought toys, played out. We just swirled in Wunna land love. Our brunch of choice was at Patisserie Valerie in Doncaster and simply because Junior need banana pancakes and Ruby needed poached eggs. (It is the only place that does both.)

We met up with my Mum and had the best family weekend ever. Family’s really important to me. Growing up we were always close and throughout my 20’s due to work, I lived away in LA for years and years and years…but we were still REALLY REALLY CLOSE. We tell each other everything. Were a really open family. It’s filled to the brim with loyalty and love. Almost anything goes….and I just feel really lucky to have them.

I mean even this morning, I had to have a business meeting with my mum before I set off to work and she just looked at me, beamed and said,

‘ I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t believe in you. I believe in you more than anyone…’

(And she’s not soft like that is my Mum. She’s real. She’s ‘tough love’…But she has a kitten soul. She’s a ‘tell it how it is,’ kinda gal. J I love her more than life.)

She teaches me how to be a GREAT Mum and that I am. I mean look at this…Over the weekend…Ruby finds graffiti on the wall that reads the letters ‘BT’

Ruby:  ‘Mum? What’s that??’

Me: ‘It’s just graffiti babe..’

Ruby: ‘It’s like Ted Baker, but backwards.’

YES! MY CHILD ROCKS! BOOYAH! ALL THE TROPHIES!

We ended up doing a quick dinner at ‘Ego’ and then just enjoying Bonfire night, as the skies were littered with bitty burst of colour and excitement. I love everything about driving through the streets on bonfire night. The skies celebrate your existence and the airs smells of a warm, burnt whisper. It soothes any fire sign with comfort.

Saturday night I slept like a baby…

Then Keiran text me, at the crack of dawn, to see if I could drop Junior off at 8.30 am on Sunday morning….

One day, when i’ve chimed my ultimate success bell…I’ll be able to enjoy those blissful ‘good times’ and those glorious moments of ‘lay in’ without being suddenly woken up by ‘life alarms.’ I mean, I hate nothing worse than ‘alarms.’ Be it metaphorical or literal. I can’t stand waking up every single morning to the *bleep bleep* of my phone. It’s bad for my soul and sort of ‘off starts’ my day, because it forces me to get  up against my will. Surely my body should wake whenever  it wants to?

The only alarm I ever adored, was when I slept over at Samuel’s apartment in London, (I was on the Paris Hilton Show with him, back in the day.) He’s gay and his ‘Wake up’ alarm song was the ‘Part of That World’ by ‘The Little Mermaid.’ J

Now, i’m a Sasserilla and i’m not remotely ‘Disney’ by any means, but let me tell you, TO THIS DAY, (and do note that I have  been woken up by MANY an alarm, all over the WORLD… in a zillion hotel suites, a bundle of odd people’s bedrooms, my own personal delicious bed sheets and homes across the mighty globe..) DO NOTE, THAT TO THIS DAY, that SONG has been THE BEST ALARM WAKE UP CALL, I have ever had the pleasure to rise to! You really should try it! It’s bliss!

2009 Throwback Convo: (After we had returned from an evening out with Paris at Jalouse.)

Me: ‘You actually have Ariel has your wake up alarm.’

Sam: ‘Yeah obvs! What do you have?’

Me: ‘Usually just some guy telling me he’s not looking for a serious relationship. Lol’

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve Made It To Thursday….

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I’m feeling great! I mean there is STILL part of my life that is lulling in the ‘dull ‘ zone, however soon that ‘grey’ will be dashingly done and dusted. The rest of my life is ‘ooh laa.’ It’s magical.

Right….Many great things are happening to me right now and I can’t even believe it. My friends can’t even believe it.

Firmonnell: ‘I cannot actually believe that you’re going to be doing that! Lol.’

Me: ‘I know, it’s CRAZY.’

I guess opportunity has come a knocking and it’s certainly come threefold. Opportunity didn’t use to knock. I’d chase and chase and it still never knocked. For some reason now…it’s not only knocking, but i have a ‘bell’ that buzzes you straight into Wunna Land with automatic glitter doors, as big beefy security jiggles through the masses to pick the best pieces to the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ jigsaw.

I’d like to say it was luck, but to be fair, i’ve worked really hard, not as hard as I could’ve done, but come the New Year, i’ll now have that time to smash it. Work hard for what you want. It happens. And girls…please don’t feel downtrodden by others…be it men, life, the way you look etc..Normal chick issues. You can do anything. You really can. I am living proof of that. If i could empower every women in the entire  world, i’d be a happiest glamour puss in all of the land.

At the same time as hard work, I’m a big believer in fate. You get what you’re meant to get. You miss out on the things that aren’t right for you. You learn lessons along the way. No meeting is ever worthless. You encounter and cross paths with the people you’re supposed to. And If something’s meant to be, it will always come to you, or find its way back to you.

HOWEVER, if you don’t try to pursue the things that make you feel magical in life, then you’ll never get anywhere. You’ll always find yourself sat in your ‘why am I here’ rut. I’m Wunna Land. That’s not how I play drinking games. 🙂 A fire doesn’t start without a spark. And if anyone can spark a ‘gusto’ it’s moi!

Feel empowered. Be excited. Only do the things that you LOVE. Take the reins of your existence and shimmie it with everything that you stand for. Be the very best version of YOU.

A guy stopped me yesterday, as I was walking down a top flight of stairs with a Pot Noodle in my hand. (It was beef and tomato.) He’s Geordie, he tells ‘grandad’ type jokes and dresses up as 101 Dalmations at parties. Anyway, he stopped me and simply said,

‘The only thing that dissolves fear is ACTION. There’s something about you Chrissie. Something tells me you’re gonna be in a great place and never look back.’

Me: ‘Yeah. I’m not scared. I’m ready now. I actually feel held back.’

He smiled, like he was proud…and then I tottered off to eat my Pot Noodle. Yippeee!

Around Wunna Land, other shit was happening. ‘Hustle Barbie’ had decided to send suggestive messages to girls, from our guy friend Jonesez. She never learns that you don’t prank Jonesez because he lives for revenge and his excitement for it, is hardly ever punctuated. He don’t give no ‘hoot in hell.’ Bottom line…you’re fucked. So as she sat all smuggly, with her ‘i’ve sent messages’ head up in the air. He went to her car and smeared moisturiser all over the door handle of her car. She thought it was bird poo. I watched the snapchat an thought it was hummous….and what is honestly worst than innocently trying to get into your car and having your hand dolloped and smeared in a gooey, unknown substance. I’m a germaphobe, so to me…that is devastating. Hustle Barbie’s a vegan…She just got on with life.

I’m getting loads of love from ‘da ladies’ right now. My inbox is usually filled with messages from gentleman, who fancy their chances at adoring a glamour puss. Lol. Right now and because i’ve recently done one f the most uplifting interviews, that you’ll all see shortly, I have a jolly…if jolly meant ‘sexy’ bundle of chick ‘yahoos.’ Girls are naughty. Some have gone beyond the ‘you’re such a queen, I love you.’ To ‘I can’t even tell you what i want to do to you. *Devil face emoji.*

It’s hot. I love it. And it’s all because I said, that my Girl Crush (and if you know me or read this blog, you should  already know) that my GIRL rush is ELLEN DEGENERES. No one loves this women more than me…and I do mean sexually and not just in a ‘fan girl, oh yeah she’s funny’ kinda way. I need Ellen in my life! She’s my perfect woman.

Obviously….I’m straight. (I have an unfortunate and somewhat colourful history that pin points this. I’ve romanced a lot of gentleman. 😉 ) Yet. OH MY GOD, I properly fancy Ellen Degeneres with even inch of my heart and loins…that I don’t think that I could live without stalking her Instagram, every second. J This crush hasn’t recently occurred. This crush occurred in my mid 20’s whilst I was living in LA.

The quote from my interview, which comes out shortly is…

‘I could meet any guy in the entire world and not feel a single piece of the nerves. If I meet Ellen Degeneres. Like she was just right there infront of me, I might possibly DIE and then try and snog her after cocktails.’

Now, cos they do….all my real life chick friends are trying to steal my crush.

Hustle Barbie: ‘I think i’ve stolen your girl crush.’

(Then she posts a screenshot that tells me how Vegan Ellen Degeneres is. Do know that ‘Hustle’ has gone from ‘I really fancy a sausage sandwich to the absolute height of VEGANISM. She’s recruiting. Be warned.)

So yeah, now she fancies my Girl Crush, because my girls crush doesn’t eat animals in any way shape or form.

Hustle Barbie: ‘She’s mine now.’

Me: ‘I will only become a Vegan if Ellen tells me to. Back of Blondy, she loves me not you. Lesbians love me, even though I eat bacon.’

Me to Firmonnell: ‘Hustle is trying to steal my girl crush. Ellen’s vegan.’

Firmonnell: ‘Ha..ha..Does she fancy ALL vegans now????’

It’s weird how when we love something we try and make everyone else love it to. Hustle with her ‘don’t eat meat’ club. Me with my ‘Live life like you have nothing to lose’ thing. Keiran with his ‘I follow Jehovah….now you should too.’ All the girls with ‘Let’s go to the gym and eat healthy.’  It must be passion, or this sincere need to be *pom pommed* onto a more positive path.

Junior was so cute last night. he wanted to sleep in my bed with me, because he missed me when he went to his Dad’s.

‘Mum, i really need a snuggly something.’

‘I don’t have your blankey.’

‘I REALLY NEED A BLANKEY. Get me one of your jumpers. A snuggly one, that smells like you.’

I produced my thin peach jumper, the one that has a swan on it. I’d just chucked it in my wardrobe so it radiated a mummy glow.

He rolled it up into a ball and with utter bliss in his eyes, cuddled it like his life was now complete!

Why can’t all guys be like they were when they’re young and still adorable??

Saying that my first husband used to do the same. I was living in LA working. He’s an actor, but was living in New York at the time, before he was making his move to LA. We were  moving in together, and had just met. During that time, we had to be apart. It wasn’t bad at all really. We were fine. I’m used to living apart from my counter male. Schedules, careers and busy times usually prevail. Anyway, he’d always grab an item of my clothing, like a tshirt or a nighty and take it with him, to sleep with, whenever he left to be back in New York? (I’ve just made that sound creepy. But it was actually really innocent. Hahaha.)

Anyway, I’m off. I have a really exciting next couple of weeks, where i’ll be meeting some amazing faces, who will tinker into Wunna Land. I’m going to be in Leeds, London and then Liverpool.

I’m working all day, but my next thing is tomorrow.

Tomorrow i’m be celebrating with Candy Mechanics at Trinity Leeds, as they magically turn me into a chocolate lollipop. I’m so excited. I can’t wait to be there. It’s the big old live launch, for the ever so magical pop up stall that will open in Leeds later

Sunday Tittle Tattle & Gifts…

It’s the most beautiful day in Yorkshire today. The air is crisp, the sun is out, the birds are chirping, there’s a gentle breeze meandering across the fields, through the cities…So, it’s a total shame that I’m feeling a bit rough. I’m only a bit rough. Not mega rough. If I was mega rough, I would’ve had to surrender to my flamingo bed sheets all day and beg for ice lollies. (Ice lollies and cups of tea, are my favourite hang over cures. My second favourite hang over cure is obviously a cocktail. The ‘Hair of the Dog’ really works. However, today….it’s not my choice of mixer.)

Yesterday was fabulous. Ruby and I tinkered to Doncaster, as you may well know, to select our favourite Christmas gift choices at Debenhams. It’s definitely for a blog that will come out later, where I’ll be showing you some of our favourite things.. closer to the festive season. But honestly, I was bamboozled by the distinct glow of fabulosity. Such great choices. I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a December birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I love gift buying. Yet, I’m either a quirky gift purchaser or a LUXURY GIFT purchaser. Meaning you could receive anything from a sassy bit of Gucci, to an Inflatable crown, just so you can be a ‘Queen for the Day.’Lol. Depends on how i’m feeling, at the time?

We came back with all sorts. Ceramic ‘Posh Shot’ cups, Chocolate fountains, Parrot Party Bottle openers, a range of jewellery, crepe makers, bath bombs, bouji this, silly that….Handcrafted Reborn Dolls (which retail for the bargain price of £99, per doll. I KNOW! Craziness. How can a dolly be that much!) So, I’m looking forward to showing you what Wunna Land gift choices we made at Debenhams. You should never let my first born, my Mother and I lose around your store, any store…we will want EVERYTHING. It’s like placing the most spendy people in one place and throwing them a ‘cold hard cash’ bone. Junior’s been at his Dad’s all weekend and we’ve all missed him so madly. He would’ve LOVED the merriment.

Mum: ‘So what’s Junior doing then?’

Me: ‘He’s got a family birthday or something with Keirans sister and then he’ll have a Sunday of religious paradise stuff…’

Mum: ‘Paradise?’

Me: ‘. Shit. I forgot to tell you. Keiran gave me a Bible and told me that if I wanted to go to Paradise when I die, I had to become a Jehovah’s Witness.’

Mum: ‘Where’s his Paradise? Ibiza? 😉 ‘

Then we continued choosing gifts. (Keiran and my Mum, do not get on! You have never seen two head *butt* so much.)

‘I really like those rose gold Prosecco bottles.. As if it comes with a bell. GIVE ME BOOZE NOW. Tinkle. Tinkle.’

I have literally had THE BEST family weekend. It’s been great and I haven’t seen Ruby as happy as she is right now, in a really long time. She was giddy with excitement. Her eyes lit up with life.

Yesterday, we met a load of people and it felt really great to feel like we had such support. I have more support than I ever thought? I love nothing more, than people stopping me to tell me that they’ve read the blog or love the blog. They talk about their favourite entry. They remember everything. It’s impressive. It’s actually funny because they tell ME the story, with excitement, like I might not remember it. J I lived it. It’s my life. I know the story. Lol. I wrote the story. I was there.  I mean yesterday a girl was asking me about ‘Hustle Barbie’ and our night out at Issho…and as I was chatting to her about it, I guess I said ‘Hustle’s’ actual name…because I would. I mean, they are real people in my life and I do call them by their real names… in real life. Lol.  Anyway, she was so shocked.

Girl: ‘Oh God. Is that her actual name?’

Me: ‘What? Oh! Yeah. Lol. Infact, she sent me a Snapchat of her boyfriend’s bum, whilst he was cooking her a Vegan curry, the other night.’

Girl: ‘Does he have a good bum?’

Me: ‘Yes. Lol. It looked like a peach, wrapped in tight grey jogging bottoms. I told her that I would never let her leave that bum. It’s just too good a bum.’

It all makes me smile and I guess it’s because the blog  means so much to me. I’ve written this diary for over a decade now. I didn’t really think it would become ‘A THING.’ I hoped that it would. I just didn’t think too much of it. I simply got on with it.

I love to write. I love to tell my story. I love to inspire. I love it when you all send me stories about your own life. I think EVERYONE’S LIFE is important and if more and more people could celebrate their own existence, tell their own story, or even write a diary or blog as therapy…To me, that would be WONDERUL. Infact, it would be WUNNAFUL.

I’m currently in talks with some great people right now, where I’ll hopefully be starting a campaign in the Spring of next year to encourage those, be you young, old, happy, sassy, quiet, successful, down trodden, or troubled, to keep a diary. It changed my LIFE.

So, I’m going to be encouraging more people to express and tell the story of their own day to day life, be it privately or publicly, in order to build internal strength, inspire others, or just have something to look back on and read, in the years to come. It’s YOUR STORY. Everyone has a voice. Sometimes we think people aren’t listening. But they are. Sometimes, we need to listen to ourselves. Writing things out, helps that. You can rewatch something as a third party. I’m someone that wants everyone to use their voice proudly. So yeah, hopefully that will all work out.

Anyway, where was I?

Ruby and I ended up heading over to Ego for a Lemonade and..well I ordered a Pina Colada. As my mum dropped us off, my phone flashed and it was Pete (Rubs Dad) just checking in to see if Ruby wanted to hang out with him?

I asked her and she simply said,

‘Yeah, why doesn’t he meet us for drinks.’

So as we waited for Pete to arrive, Ruby and I sat back, on a candle lit table, which was appropriately placed right infront of a GIANT MIRROR. And as we chatted about life, she beamed and threw her head back in utter laughter. As a parent, when you see that, you glow don’t you? She kept doing all these ‘swaggy’ impressions  of me, with a DIVA finger tut and head titters. Whenever she does an impression of me, she always does it with an American Accent? All she kept saying was,

‘Yo, Baby Boo. You can sit with us. Ha…Ha’Haaaaaa.’

For some reason, it cracked us both up and we were in lemonade and Pina Colada, candlelit stitches. We even forgot that we were at Ego. We must’ve been the loudest humans in all the land. But when ‘loud’ is laughter, it’s always great. 😉

Ruby: ‘You’re my best friend Mum.’

Then Pete showed up..

Pete: ‘Now, i’m here. I might get a table. I kinda want eat? Do you?’

Me: ‘We can sit and get something, yeah.’

Ruby: ‘Yeah, I wanna eat.’

(I didn’t eat and just drank, because I can’t do both at the same time.)

But it was nice to have a late afternoon family dinner. Like I always say, we ‘co parent’ really well, because it’s important to us, that the kids are happy. I’m really lucky in this respect. It’s great that we can go through everything we went through, not be together, yet still have dinner out, with our little girl… happily…And the same goes for Junior….It’s a blessing!

I can’t remember what they ate, now? But we just listened to Ruby chat about life. I chatted about my own life. Pete chatted about the drinks and dinner he had at ‘Neighbourhood’ recently (which has newly opened in Leeds.)

Me: ‘Was the food good?’

Pete: ‘Yeah but it was pricey. It’s really pricey.’

Me: ‘There’s so much going on in Leeds, right now. It’s so bouji! Everything’s turned so glamourous. I’m loving it’

The other week, someone I know, had never been to Leeds, but had heard that it was really rough. Oh my GOSH. No. Right now, it’s all Louis Vuttion, glammy cocktail bars, fine dining and heels. It’s the opposite to rough. We’re just Yorkshire. 😉 You don’t mess with anyone from Yorkshire. Lol.

Then day became night and I soon ventured home. Ruby went to her Dad’s to chill with him for an hour and then came home to sleep with Mama.

Great Weekend. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive. I am the luckiest girl alive.

Monday, starts tomorrow…..

Oh my God! As if Ronnie (one of my closest LA besties, he’s also a celebrity chef out in LA, had his own show, has just cooked for Gwyneth Paltrow.) He’s just messaged me, saying he’s gonna be in London in December and wants to see me! SO EXCITED! Let me go chat to him.

Fyi/My Shocking phone call, from my ‘Shocking Phone call’ blog has now started to wind me up. lol. I’m annoyed now for no reason. Lol

Wunna Land Gossip, My Diary, My Life

This last week has been swirled with a gooey glitter splurge of insanity. It’s been madness!! I can’t even tell you, but i’ve done it with grace and a smile on my little oriental face. There hasn’t even been time to blog. I’ve spun plates, on all levels, like some Hero of femininity. Unfortunately for me, I’m not ‘some hero’ at all, i’m simply managing my life in order to get the best out of it.

Yeah, I’m a single mum of two with a mighty career load…but so are a lot of chicks. All I can tell anyone in my situation is to NOT GIVE UP. You can do it, get through it and see the results that you want. You’ve just godda keep at it and not feel sorry for yourself.

I remember sitting in this acting class in LA as a 22 year old and the guy who owned the school came in to give us some ‘life lesson’ lecture. He told us that the majority of people DIDN’T MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE, simply because they GAVE UP. I held onto that. It’s true. So when you prioritize, work hard, don’t get distracted and rest when you can, you’ll smash it. You’ll even get better at it. Everyone that adores you, will always be there, when you come out of that tunnel.

I probably worked 19 hours of each 24hr day last week, continuously, until it was time to sleep. Lol. My diet got glamorously flung out the window. I wanted to get skinny for no reason, so i looked great for filming. I don’t even feel fat. I feel great. I love my body..even the wibbly bits. So, it wasn’t a priority. It got flung. Everything was..

‘I’d like a bucket of chicken wings with hot sauce, onion rings and a Pina Colada, please.’

The Pina Colada is essential. I can’t do anything without a cocktail by my side. It’s less about the drinking and more about the fact that they make me smile when they’re near me. 😉  I also like luxury. I can slum it with the lasses. But I don’t prefer to. It doesn’t make me feel comfy. Lol. I’ve added the requirements onto my ‘DIVA list.’ My Diva list is the list of ‘Wunna Must Haves’ that is produced when I’m going to appear somewhere, be it business or pleasure…Y’know, like Rockstars would ask for shit like Green M & M’s.

My requirements are now, PHONE CHARGING FACILITIES, WIFI, LUXURY WHEREVER IT CAN BE APPLIED & TWO WELL MADE COCKTAILS. (I’m used to doing the 2 for 1 cocktails at Ego now. Hence why two drinks are an absolute necessity.)

My chicks friends have been dandy. Mel’s been gyming it, Fairytale Blond is having a phantom pregnancy, Hustle Barbie is stroking dead pigeons, Jonesez is pretending to be a Vegan so Hustle fancies him, Double B has heightened her ‘Sass’ levels and Firmonnell and I have turned up our life mode to the art of  ‘C’est La Vie.’ I think both Hustle and Firmonnell had agreed that they’ve either made up or blocked their childhoods out for no real reason and the PE teacher that I used to chat to, about 2 years ago…has been hailed the ‘Hottest Teacher in The World’ by the Daily Mail. I knew it had to be press for something, so I checked and he’s going to be a new fitness presenter for the BBC. He was actually on that really ace reality show ‘Last man Standing’ years ago. He deserves a break because he’s worked really hard for it. We’re good friends, i know him well, so if he manoeuvres all his work correctly, he could actually be a huge star!

Me: ‘I’d wondered what he had been doing all of this time??’

Firmonnell: ‘Sit ups….OBVIOUSLY!!’

Firmonnell and I actually going to see a clairvoyant together on Wednesday, Susan Woods. I’m really excited to blog about it all. It feels juicy. Plus, we’ll be delighting in Prosecco all the way there, so i’ll take any bad news with glee and a prosecco dripped happiness. It’s glamour pussing…honest. *Yayur*

I messaged her yesterday complaining because she wasn’t with me whilst I was trapped, in some kind of ‘Countries of the World’ drinking Disney Land. Not that I could ever feel TRAPPED in a place of such absolute wonder. I mean, I could’ve had Sake in the Japanese hut, Rum in a reggae chill zone, Austrian Ale in some log cabin and vodka in an iced mountain den. A Disney Land for total alcoholics.

Firmonnell: WHY AM I NOT THERE! SEND ME PICTURES NOW.

I had Baby Junior, as Ruby had opted for doing the Blackpool Illuminations with her Dad. Junior convinced me to purchase his poor little ‘hard done by’ self  a DRUM KIT. Massive ROOKIE ERROR! What was I thinking!!!! So yeah. No fun in the Disney Land for boozers for me. I HAD TO CARRY A DRUM KIT AROUND WITH ME…(glamourously..of course.) Then he demanded that we go to Ego for drinks and a bread board. So we did…..I definitely got tricked, rinsed and by my own loin fruit. My own darling creation. (He filmed this morning and DEMANDED that his drum kit was in every scene and that everyone heard him smash out irregular drum beating to JINGLE BELLS …continously. After filming he got sent off for his usual Sunday ‘Daddy Day’ with his Jehovahs Witness Father.

I’m currently having to write this from the back of my Mum’s car, as she drives us all to lunch. That’s how i’m having to utilize my time now. The rest of The Wunna’s are actually doing well also. They will be welcoming themselves to entertainment shortly….both with me and without me. ((I know! I can’t believe how everything’s panning out!)

Mum: Well Chrissie’s been writing the blog and it’s turned HUGE by accident & so  she’s getting plunged back into TV. Now… because of the blog, we’re ALL getting asked to do all sorts. She always said you only live once….and I guess right now….we’re going to have fun as a family, yet under extraordinary circumstances. People must be inspired by her? I mean, she’s my own and even I look at her sometimes and think gosh I don’t know how she does it!!??!!’

(Aww… I have an ace Mama!)

The great thing is that by the end of December, everything changes for me and I step into a new chapter. Things will be much easier for me. I’m someone who embraces new chapters with ease, as they seem to have happened to me a lot in life…both good and bad. I focus on the good. I told you. I don’t waste my time on the bad. I have so much to be happy about and a future that feels charmed, right now. I don’t have anymore auditions this week, so I can concentrate on the blog, which is what I love the most! I’ve signed up to some really exciting collabos and brand deals and I can’t wait for you to see the fun!

Right we’ve pulled up. The cars stopped. I’m off to lunch.

Happy Sunday!

Life, Auditions & Guys….

So busy! So much work. But loving every minute of it. I have grumpy moments. Yet i’m shaking them off. Life’s too short to play silly sorts. If i’m being honest, it’s crazy how everything’s just changing for me work wise. I’ve hustled really hard for a really long time and i’m still at it…tinkering away. (I worked all day yesterday, took care of Ruby and Junior and then filmed an audition, before getting to up at five o clock this morning to work some more.) I’ve got my fingers crossed and all the hope in the world. God, I have all the hope in the world. There’s a glint in my kitten eyes. Yet something tells me that this time, it’s all going to be dandy.  It FEELS really good! Everything in life is all about how you FEEL and right now, i feel on top of the world. I’m smashing it. As a guy used to always say to me…

‘You’re on flames babe.’

I breathe out all the time, in disbelief because I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. But i’m getting there. I’m en route…I just need to focus and put some fire crackers in my frilles. 🙂

Anyway, even away from Wunna Land, so much is going on in the world. We all know that. But i’m someone who will always focus on the good and never give power to the bad. My soul is far too delicious waste my time on any negativity. So like I said in my last blog, it’s a great time to be a WOMAN. A ‘W.O.M.A.N’  (*Sassy* click here.) Feel powerful. There are so reasons for you to be happy. So own your womanhood.

I mean with everything that has come out about the Harvey Weinstein drama and all the women and men who have opened up about their own personal experiences of ‘sexual harassment’ in entertainment…(I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood, in the entertainment industry. I found myself in numerous situations where in which some guy in power, who would have my career dangling on a stick, right in front of me, would attempt to offer himself to me suggestively or try to make me offer myself to him suggestively, in order to gift me with my apparent ‘dreams come true.’ It happens all the time. Infact, it happened to me a month and a half ago, in England. Who do some people think they’re trying to kid?)

Luckily, I’m a tough cookie…and I’m not someone who would EVER…EVER surrender to such Tom Foolery. Especially being a Mum to a little girl. I’m a good human. I’m a sassy human. I don’t play like that. I have far too much faith in myself, timing, talent and in life. I don’t need to take shortcuts, because when I *bloom,* it will be done at the right time, the right way and with a good energy…a glittery happiness…an giddy warmth…a decent flair of panache.

But i whole heartedly stand by every single woman, that has come forward, be you Angelina Jolie, or Suzie from around the block…who has opened up and told their story, as it will keep your hearts safe and keep entertainment about creative talent and not about what some people feel they negatively NEED to DO, to get where they want to be. Say NO, to what we in LA used to label the ‘Casting Couch.’ It’s a disgrace! Believe in yourself and your own talents. Don’t panic. Don’t rush. You’ll get there. I promise. If you work hard, learn to be great at what you do and just be a decent person, who stays loyal to what they believe is right.

ANYWAY, I’ve got lost in the jumble. I’m meant to be telling you about my time with Inadequate Chris.

I filmed on Sunday with him in Park Square Leeds. We had the most amazing time and did the most amazing comedy sketches. We also filmed a few bits for Snapchat, to tickle their delightful new features. And soon you can delight in a bit of Inadequate Chris/Wunna Land hilarity. We work really well as a comedy duo. I’m not a serious person. I know how to have a good time. And even though he’s a lot shyer than I am…(He made us wait on a park bench for ages in Park Square, Leeds until a random gang of boys had left, before he would film his scene Lol) he’s a pretty great talent.

That day I learnt that I can talk nonsense with the greatest of ease, when a cameras put in my face, that we’re not the cast of Hollyoaks, that I might win a BAFTA and that everything ends in cocktails. (Remember, if I do anything, I only ever ask for a phone charging facility and some form of celebratory alcoholic beverage.)

After filming we walked up to the ever so glamourous Victoria Gate in Leeds ( I adore bouji. I love the Victoria Quarter)..Chris wheeled his push bike, with a backpack, tripod and camera shoved in it, as we chatted about our day of filming.

Chris: ‘You’re pretty likeable. There’s a likeability to you.’

The sun shone down on us and the wind was a little brisk. It was crisp. Traffic was everywhere, yet steady. I was talking about a guy a met earlier in the year,  his love life and a show I recently filmed…and then we finally got to the glorious Victoria Gate entrance, where life turns into luxury, the world surrenders to peace and you glamourously take that elevator up to Level 3, to Issho.

I love Leeds. I remember strutting through the streets at the end of the day, just feeling the air, the city and the buzz around me. It made me beam. It made me feel at home. Like the world was my oyster. It is SUCH a great city!

Now, Chris and I have ended up being quite good friends. We tell each other a lot. He’s currently dating someone new and adoring it. I mean they’re definitely in that initial ‘happy, but are we secure’ stage…he didn’t say that, but I know that. I watched him chitter about his girl and when he did, his eyes lit up. That’s how I know they are going to be okay. 🙂

I’ve said this before…and I got this from Josh the bartender. (He whispered it across a bar, as I sipped a salted rimmed margarita.)

A guy who loves a girl will ALWAYS PUT HER ON A PEDESTAL. No girl will ever compare to her. She’ll be his everything. And as a girl, you’ll feel it. You’ll feel on top of the world. And if you don’t….you’re not on that pedestal yet. You know when you are. But you know when you’re not. We as girls tend to make excuses for the guys at this point. Don’t….if you’re meant to be his Goddess, you will be!

I can officially state that Inadequate Chris, has merrily ‘pedestal placed’ his new girlfriend..So we decided to celebrate it with the finest Japanese lunch, cocktails and white wines. I adore the bouji peacefulness of Issho. It is filled with a magical swirl that lets your soul enjoy the finer things in life, yet it does it beautifully and calmly….Where you’re at your most ZEN. We chatted about everything for hours…and then tried to get the best value for money throughout the wine list and menu. (It’s a Yorkshire thing.)

Chris: ‘This is why I love hanging out with you. You always tell it how it is,  but make me feel good about myself. No, I don’t like wine.’

Me: ‘You’re such a Queen.’

(Do note…He’s ever so straight. Just gentle, like a Queen by nature. Almost emotionally Royal. I’m a glamour puss directed with a shimmie of absolute femininity. However, I have the most inappropriately masculine sense of humour. )

After we drank loads and spoke about life, under the Issho lights, I noticed that when it comes to love, he is certainly someone that I would label a ‘ love bunny.’ So he’ll adore a girl madly and want to spend every single waking minute of the day with them. In return, she has to adore him madly. And it’s cute.

I love love…but I’m an independent career girl. I’m romantic and loving…but as the saying goes ‘behind every great man is an even greater woman’ I am that woman. I can’t be asred cooking ya tea, but i’ll make you the greatest man alive!

Nothing is better to me than empowering people to be the best they can be. I do it positively. There’s a cheeky warmth about it all. It’s not evil. I love bringing the best in folk,  who don’t actually realise how amazing they are!

Anyway, I’m exhausted. I’m off to bed. I’m working all day tomorrow, the kids are on a school trip and I’ve got 2 more auditions, plus a book to write.  I’m pretty lucky. No. I’m really lucky. Hard work, pays off.

 

 

 

A Quick Wunna Land Catch Up….

What a weekend!! Wunna land is brimming right now. It’s tinkered with joy, my babies are delightful, the prosecco pours are everywhere, I’m as happy as can be, and work is hitting the ‘smashing it’ belt. (I have no clue what that means…just go with it.) For once, I finally feel as though i’m taking the elevator up the Ladder of Success, instead of slow crawling it, with stretchy legs and the odd ‘huffs and puffs.’ My elevator’s moving at a steady old pace, yet it’s filled with glamorousity, good timing and that flawless knacker of hard work, determination and talent. Cocktails are in the elevator tooo! It helps.

Anyway, I can’t remember what I did n Friday? What did I do? I worked. Hustle Barbie is now a vegan…she might have also convinced everyone else to be a glamourous vegan because we certainly watched suffer through the art of ‘being hung over’  and helped her celebrate  her new veganism by eating Vegetarian ‘Collin the Caterpillars. Sassy girl banter, then occurred which was decorated by a decent conglomeration of executive spikey  heels. Wine happened. Then it was finally all over.

I was actually meant to be travelling to London this morning on a six o clock in the morning train with Firmonnell for a lucky bit of filming. At the last minute it all had to get rescheduled, so we’ll be on a six o clock train some other day shortly, doing ‘glammy’ prosecco train breakfast and trying to look like we’re kittens, as opposed to looking like we may be doing the ‘walk of shame.’ I’m quite comfortable with my glamourousity. I’m a glamour puss. Kitten hood runs through my veins. Firmonnell, still needs to own up to her glamourousity. She’s got it. Oh she’s got it. She just needs to stick a feather in her hat and OWN it. (She was really shocked when she was described as ‘chatty, fun and attractive.’ If you knew her…you wouldn’t be shocked at all.)

Firmonnell: ‘You don’t half talk some shit Wunna, but i love you for it. You should have some job where you just constantly make people feel good about themselves.’

I do! I tell my rubbish story, so you all feel better about our OWN lives. Lol

Right now, it’s a GREAT TIME TO BE A GIRL RIGHT, SO MAKE IT YOURS! OWN IT. Slip on those heels and get your sassy booty strutting! You don’t need a guy to help you. As far as i’m aware…they need us. 😉

Anyway, I spent my weekend with my family. My Mum, my Dad, my brother and the babies. Dad a birthday. (Don’t know how old he is, but i love him immensely. I couldn’t have got luckier when it comes to having a wonderful pops. We have laughed and cried together and had the best time that any Daddy Daughter combo could ever celebrate. We celebrated.

I bought toys with the babies, we shopped, we lunched, I refueled at Prosecco Pit Stop in Doncaster, Junior found his inner ‘ooh laa’ and gave ‘good times’ the welly! He went for it! I’ve never seen him so happy. I kinda think it was because Ruby skedaddled off for a moment, because Pete (HER Daddy) also had a birthday, so he took her to the cinema, which left Junior playing ‘only child for once‘ with Mama…Me…..and boy did it turn BOUJI! Junior is SO MUCH FUN. It’s crazy. I can see my genes running through is system. Ruby’s SASSY like Mum. Junior’s FUNNY like Mum. I’m so proud of the babies. They are my favourite humans on this Earth Ball. (Which is quite handy, since I birthed them)

Anyway, good times and merriment…an audition and the organisation of a shoot.

Then Sunday peeked through my window…and before you know it, after a quick drive to Mercedes in Wakefield, I was back on a train to Leeds….I like the Sunday afternoon train to Leeds, as it’s filled with Prosecco girls.

Ten minutes, I was at my stop…..and with a flick of the big Hollywood hair and wink in my walk…I strutted my little self to Park Square, in Leeds….In leopard print…. to meet Inadequate Chris, for an afternoon of ‘comedy sketch’ filming….

Cocktaily Happiness & Chicken Chow Wunna?

The best weekend ever. Just filled with everything that I’ve wanted to do and nothing that i’ve HAD TO DO. Bliss! I feel like a proper life solider right now, as its taken a long ass time to get to this point of ‘just feeling great.’ I’m really happy. I’m looking around me and feeling as though everything that I stand for, everything that I am, everything that I’ve accomplished or everything that I love is just great and I might not have everything in the world, but what I have is so good it’s priceless. It feel juicy and that *juice* is magical.

It’s weird because I always feel like I’ve achieved a lot. Career wise. Emotionally. All sorts. I’ve set myself goals throughout life and pretty much smashed them with a wink and maybe a bit of a wiggle. Yet, I guess, it important for people to not compare themselves to other people. A lot of people do that. The whole, ‘I don’t have what they have’ syndrome. But the real fact is, that you have what’s ours and you can create your own future. You’re always a decision away from that. Yet, it’s when you look around yourself and you see how great you’ve done, when you appreciate the good things in your life and flush away the shitty bits…it’s then when you start to feel good.

Do your life. Your way. Enjoy it. Do it the way you’ve always wanted. Say what you want. Life the way you’ve always wished. It makes you feel good and when you feel good….good things happen to ya. Simples!

People screw themselves over with the picture in their head of how their life is supposed to be. Absolutely be inspired. I’m really dynamic by nature. I’m someone who is naturally ambitious, but just not a dick. Get what you want. Work hard for it. But all the while you’re forgetting to smell the roses, know that you’ll never get to your happy place.

I had a busy Friday, yet it lead me into an awesome Saturday. I did a quick Friday night drink at Ego before home. It was cute because I was pissed off with work stuff and therefore expressed my pissed offidness to Bartender Josh. Yet I peeked to his side, one of his other young bartendery companions, was all blushy …but macho because a girl, a hot one that he really adores had walked into the restaurant. It’s cute to watch how guys react to a girl they actually really adore. Not a shabby one. One that they actually fluster for. It changes them. It’s weird. They worry about how they’ll come across. They don’t want to mess it up. Yet at the same time, even though their heart is all a flutter, they always try and play it cool. It was cute. I hope she adores him. (And me being a girl…I know she does. 😉 )

But  yes, i’ve had the best ‘lay in’s all weekend. I spent my Saturday with Ruby and Junior (My babies, The Wunna Babies.) We just did life, loved it and laughed through it. We shopped, we played, we lunched, we picked out our design for this years Christmas tree. We read to each other. We had a dance off. But more than anything we just loved. I’m SO lucky. I never take anything for granted, at all ever and it disturbs me when people do.

Yes, i’m sassy. Yes, I’m a bit of a swaggalicious bad ass. 😉 I’ll tell it how it is and i’ll do it with banter and glamorousity. But my soul is good. There’s a light hearted warmth to me. You’ll only ever know that if you’re near me, because you’ll feel it. I treat people well and I treat them well when i have the upmost respect for them. I treat them well even before that. That’s why I hate bad manners and people who treat others, or especially myself 🙂 shitty, because no one likes it, no ones deserves it and it doesn’t go well with a cocktails. I’m not trying to sound ‘Rainbow Brite’…it’s dull and not real, because let’s not get it twisted, if you were to push my ‘ DIVA’ button,

HA H’HAA!

You’d hate it.

Firmonnell and I have been texting all day. Big D (her Hubbster)  is sick, so she was looking for a ‘Motherly’ companion to do life with…away from getting the lergy. Ruby & Junior do Sunday’s with their Daddies..so this Mother has dresses to buy and cocktails to drink. 🙂 I’m at a charity event tomorrow in Blackpool, so I had to do last minute ‘dashing,’ writ this blog and then treat myself to booze afterwards. My night will be filled with dress fittings, warm baths and tanning. Yeah Dolls!

Firmonnell: ‘I’m in a shit play area.’

Me: ”I’m off to do cocktails.’

I’m getting loads of messages right now. I’m reading the good ones and frisbeeing away the bad ones. Anything that comes into Wunna land with a naggy tone of ‘eww’ or bad news get’s frisbeed. All that’s good….get’s embraced with kitten kisses.

Mel’s tripped over a hoover and cut her head open. Rocco my kitten is enjoying life in Wunna land. I’m excited for Christmas. I’m excited for the New year. I’m keeping things simple and not opening doors that don’t want me to open them. Good things feel like they’re coming. You know when you can just sort of feel it in the air? I can feel it, they’re coming.

Next Year…the career takes a step up. It’s an exciting time.

But all in all, what can I say, other than I have ACE guy friends. So Reuben, I’ve known him for millions of years. Since I was a teen. Normal people, would just have a Sunday roast and get on with their day. He could’ve had banter with his Baby Ramona. Made love to his girlfriend. But no…Reuben decides he’s going to create this picture…

Image may contain: 1 person, food

…and post it on my Facebook wall. It’s meant to be ‘Chicken Chow Wunna.’ Hahaha.

I was driving about. I had no clue what was going on. Pulled up. Looked down at my phone. DIED when I saw that Reuben had posted something on my wall…and then saw the above picture. LOl.

Luckily for Reuben, we share the same sense of humour  and weirdly, in that moment I sat in my car, outside of Junction 32 PISSING MYSELF laughing at it for a good 4 minutes, like a nut job, in my faux fur and knee high boots.

Hahaha.

It’s ace. It properly made me smile. Now my Facebook wall is filled with all sorts. A dildo, some dirty knickers or something? I can’t keep up.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, text     Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

I dread what he’ll do to my pics from tomorrow evening’s event, as one of his favourite’s will be there. It makes him really creative. Lol.

Me: ‘Is this gonna go on all day?’

Reuben: ‘Just until I have something to do…’

But I guess, it’s the small things….

It’s always the small things…

Chrissie x

Leeds, Life & Cocktails

My weekend’s been great! Right from the ‘get go,’ it’s been filled with life. I feel like the luckiest girl alive and to be honest, I have no clue why? There’s just such a buzz that’s swirling around Wunna Land that is nothing short of ‘juicy.’ It’s contagious. Good luck seems to be pouring in (I almost typed ‘pouring gin,’ ) my confident is soaring and…well i’m just feeling great about myself right now. Just like anyone, I go through the ‘ups the downs’ and the dodgy parts that I find the WORST…which i label the ‘inbetweens.’ I’m ALL or NOTHING, always SOMETHING and never chilling in ‘grey.’ When I feel stuck in a rut, (and i’m talking about work) I make positive changes with ease. I don’t find changes, especially positive ones difficult…No one should. So many people are so scared to indulge in the things that they adore? Doing that goes against human nature. It goes against the natural grain of what your soul is made for. Right now…I’m feeling on top of the world and boy, I hope you are toooo!

Right, so Friday night is usually my chill night. I love my ‘Chill Friday,’ as I’ve usually Frisbee’d off a stunningly busy work week, making Friday all about home life, relaxing and refuelling to rubbish telly and take out, in over sized frillies and tshirts, with the kids.

This Friday, straight after work, I ventured off into Leeds with one of my girl besties ‘Hustle Barbie’ to enjoy a chick ‘Mate Date’ at Issho, where we delighted in the finest sushi and raw salmon cuts of ‘over ice’ sashimi, with large delicious ‘prosecco pours’ with bamboo mats, wasabi winks and really magical lighting in one of the most glamourously trendy new spots in Leeds.

I love Issho. It’s always great! Through the day, on an evening. It’s wonderful. The food is divine. The vibe is peaceful, sophisticated, yet stylishly cosy. And as the staff tinkered around us, pouring us fresh bubbles, and making sure our dinner was delightful, we chatted about life, love and where we thought we were headed over the next few months….I adore a good chick dinner out. A bouji one that is. 😉 It was great because I’ve never really hung out with JUST ‘Hustle Barbie,’ over dinner before. There’s always been everyone there. And when you hang out with someone on a ‘one to one’ basis, a layer of them peels away…and you become much closer, share secrets, enjoy laughter and learn about them away from ‘the show’ of life.

I had a really great time and I hope I do a hundred more sushi dinners with her, over prosecco, in great lighting.  I love getting to know people more closely and yeah…Friday was brilliant. We’re more similar than we ever knew and I admire her for it. She’s a really smart, ambitious yet gentle girl. She’s impressive because she’s thoughtful, fair and kind, yet someone who seeks more from life. She wants her happy ending…and we all deserve it! ( I mean GOSH, I even got to see her boudoir. She has a boudoir..

‘You’re making it sound like I own a brothel!’

Her home is spotless, almost like a ‘show home.’ As soon as her front door opens, it smells DIVINE and radiates style and simplicity. There was definitely a point where she came out of the shower however and thought I was sat on her cat Lol. I was knelt in her boudoir, bronzing my face in her big mirror, with my mini fur bag laid by my side. She walked in wrapped in a towel and thought I was sat on Rufus. Lol. Rufus is her glamourous ‘fur ball’ cat. )

Anyway, back to Leeds….

We had a whole bunch of gin in cocktail form, looked down at our phones and saw that ‘Firmonnell’ had found herself into Leeds with her chick friend bestie. She had no clue where she was, so kept sending us selfies and photos of her whereabouts and signs, after giving ‘train prosecco’ to a homeless person out of kindness.

So Hustle and I tinkered out of Issho, walked through the bouji Victoria Gate…and after the delightful elevator gentleman let us out to play under the Leeds night stars…(He couldn’t possibly imagine us walking up or down stairs, so demanded that we took the lift. Yet, i enjoy that there’s an elevator to the entrance of Issho, it just keeps life elegant…and easy. After gin, you want shit to be easy.)

Then we went to find ‘Firmonnell.’

Finding ‘Firmonnell’ was like an episode of The Crystal Fricking Maze. It was like the Matrix, where we were following photographed signs and voicemails across central Leeds, in order to be delivered to her whereabouts. And yeah, okay, we may have taken detours like a cheeky delicious Manahatta stop off, where we ordered Pornstar Martini’s, appreciated attractive humans and danced for Snapchat to the best tunes in all the land.  That might have happened, on our journey to find ‘Firmonnell.’  And we might have tried to stop of at the new ‘Neighbourhood’ bar, yet couldn’t because it was reservation night only. But in the end, we found her….at ‘The Roxy’ where the lager is poured and the beer pong is a played.

My feet KILLED by this point, THEY BURNED LIKE WITCHES GROINS and when we finally got there, turned around and saw her at the back bar all smiles and drunky, all innocent and light…it was almost a relief.

‘OH MY GOSH! FINDING YOU HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE. MY FEET KILL BECAUSE I’VE TOTTERED AROUND THE WHOLE OF FLIPPING LEEDS TO FIND YOU!!!!!’

We danced, we drank, we laughed, we giggled. Hundreds more people showed up. I think ‘Hustle and I’ tried to go dancing with ‘Firmonnell’ who ended up staying for Beer Pong.’ The Roxy is cool. I’m just a Victoria Gate girl. My feet stuck to things and we didn’t have change for the photobooth and I saw all these empty red plastic cups, all squashed and squished all over a beer drenched ping pong table, that might have had stains on from 1992. It kinda made me gip a little, so ‘Hustle and I’ went off to do dancing….and agreed to meet ‘Firmonnell’ later.

We never ended up meeting. But I knew that would happen. I know ‘Firmonnell’ well and I adore her because we just do our own thing. Lol. We’re ace and just get on with it. It’s how good friends are! Phone tig occurred and ‘Fibre’ was Hustle and I’s choice of jiggle. We had a dance we let loose for a bit, I remember some guy coming up to me because he had me on Snapchat. Then whilst ‘Hustle Barbie’ I were sat downstairs in the cave like toilets, across from giant walled mirrors, we knew Friday was done. She simply said, ‘shall we go?’

Just like that, with our feet a killing, a missed all from ‘Firmonnell’ and earlier than expected, we were in a taxi home. ‘Hustle’ got dropped off first and then my Taxi driver, who ha dno clue where he was going tried to drop me off IN BARNSLEY!

‘You needed to get off at Junction 32!!! WHY ARE WE AT JUNCTION 38!!!’

I got home. I crashed. I woke up the next morning bright and early and spent the entire day shopping, lunching and hotel nighting with my gorgeous little babies Ruby and Junior. They had an audition for a commercial, which they absolutely loved. They loved it as much as I loved chilling in Prosecco Pit Stop waiting for them to finish. J It made me smile. It seems ‘The Wunna Babies’ are actually a ‘thing’ now and like I’ve said before they’re getting offered a lot of opportunities, that I am NOW letting them enjoy. You only live once! Embrace everything that comes at ya! Plus, I believe that NOTHING is better than doing things with the people you love. So whilst I have ‘Opportunity Central ‘ going on in Wunna Land…which i’m really truly grateful for, they actually have THEIR OWN THANG going down….which I guess, on the whole, makes us lucky.

HOTEL NIGHT was wonderful. The kids LOVED IT! I loved it.  I mean, all we did was dinner, chill in our undies, snuggle in our beds and watch telly as a family, but it was BLISS. It was amazing. It was PERFECT! Almost a novelty because I treasure ‘down time.’ Time where in which I can all chill and relax without any worries, or stress. Time where no one can bother us or know what we’re doing. The kids loved it so much. That night, we had the best sleep EVER.

‘I love you mum.’

‘I love you tooo.’

Then as sod’s law kicked in, my phone rang, schedules were put in place. I had a last minute Sunday audition, They had a last minute Sunday audition.

We had to wake up at 7am, for Junior to get picked up by 8.30am…and Just like that…everything went back to normal…..