Back on Northern Soil Dolls….

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(Picture Copyright: Aaron Parfitt/Flynet)

So, I was on my flight back. I flew Ryanair on the way home. I’d passed some Spanish football team en route at Alicante airport, one of them accidentally knocked into me, (which didn’t really bother me…I mean…it’s life, worse things can happen. ) Anyway, he decided to apologize repeatedly and sincerely…which was really well mannered.  Then chat to me….in Spanish? But by this point… I was knackered…and I’d be watching a family of 4, with a really bossy/strict mum control her entire family for a good 20 minutes, as I had a wine and waited for my flight.

I was done.

But I do want to say that the STAFF at Alicante Airport were DIVINE TO ME! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! SO SO MUCH! You couldn’t have been more lovelier!

Flight’s home are wonderful, because no one enjoys waiting around, twiddling thumbs…when they’ve run out of Euros, at airports. Nothing could be more boring. And i’m creative! 🙂 Fights…Fights? I mean Flights….Lol. Flights home are MUCH MORE tedious than flights TO places…as you’re literally just shattered, instead of being filled with excitement. You go on ‘GET ME HOME’ mode…

There was a point, where I just looked up at the blond, scrunchied (they always wear scrunchies,) trolley girl, with sorrow in my eyes, the biggest hair ever and…tits…..:) with two handfuls of change and a pink tshirt that read..

‘YOU DO YOU, BOO’

(LOL)

I was too knackered to converse in any jolly fashion, but i tried to smile, which may have looked like a *wince* and I tried to put on my posh girly voice, that may have sounded like CRUELLA DE VILLE. (Don’t care if i’ve spelt that wrong.) My left had was filled with Euro’s…ALL IN COINS and my right hand was filled with British coins….

‘Hi. I just don’t want to break into any of my notes… I need to use up all this change, especially Euros…Can you pick me out stuff, ANY STUFF….that includes wine and crisps….so I can spend it all?’

Trolley Dolly: ‘Yeah, absolutely. If you want I can mix up the the change for you, so you can pay for it all with both currencies, as one whole payment.’

ISN’T SHE JUST BLISS! 

‘YES, I love you. Please, do that! Thank you so much. Lol.’

She winked at me…I almost became part of the Mile High Club. Lol

And with a wiggle and a giggle….the poor girl stood there merrily and did a whole bunch of MATHS (my worst absolute subject…Actually what am I on about..‘love life‘ is my worst subject. Makes my maths look Einsteiny.) She stood, on the plane, in her scrunchie, with her name badge, as we flew through the clouds, calculating and adding for me….because I couldn’t be arsed to. That’s service! Lol. She counted change out of my hand and began passing me bits off the trolley.

LOTS OF BITS. More bits that i needed. But I couldn’t be more grateful.

After wine, we were home in a jiffy.Landed. Sorted. The gent next to me, told me to..

‘Watch that old mans head…’

As I almost flung my carry bag about like I was Beyonce, because I couldn’t reach it out of those top units. I love the Leeds flight home…It get’s really REAL and really Yorkshire.

Then as I stepped back into Leeds Bradford airport, did all the queues…shimmied through border control….shattered…but listening to two boys infront of me, rambling on about the chicks they’re apparently about to ‘sex up’ with their really little willies.

One of the Random Boys: ‘You…Where you off? You taking me, cos…?’

Me: ‘As if you’ve been on holiday and not managed to get a tan?’

I love butting in on people’s sentences when they’re trying to be ‘swaggy,’ changing the subject and leading it. 😉 You wanna play ‘swag,’ let’s play?

Boy: ‘I was out partying all night. I partied hard, y’know, I slept through the day, all day… I got businesses and shit… So, where you taking me?’

(He said it to me, like I had never ever seen a nightlife in my entire life. 😉 )

Me: ‘I worked the whole time I was there. I shot. I’m a model. I’ve only been in Spain for 2 days.’

Boy: ‘My ex girlfriend’s a model…and..’

Me: ‘What’s her name?’

Boy: ‘You won’t know her… She done lots…She’s been to London and everything.. What stuff have you done?’

And at that point, I couldn’t be arsed anymore. I just got bored. Plus, there’s a time and a place for the answer to that question…and that’s when i’m at work, a casting, an audition, an interview..or if i’m getting to knoew someone personally, who I hope to be with forever. They’re the only times I EVER have to reel out a verbal CV. Not at BORDER CONTROL, in a ‘You do you, Boo’ tshirt. I’D JUST GOT OFF A PLANE FROM WORK. I WAS SHATTERED. I didn’t want to chat ‘my life story.’ 

Luckily, his friend deliberately distracted him…and I clicked both their phones onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 🙂

ALL THE PROMO. Lol. No shame in my game.

When I’m tired, I’m really quiet and I’d rather just have people go to the blog and read up about me, because i’m just really shit, during those times.

Hahahah! Shit! And A SHIT!

When I’m not tired. I’m the exact opposite and you cannot shut me UP! I BUBBLE OVER WITH A CHAMPAGNE GIDDINESS.

Finally got through all the checks and was strutting my way out of Leeds/Bradford (again, the staff there couldn’t have been greater to me. Thank You. Service has been excellent everywhere I’ve been recently?)

I looked down at my phone…

(Whatsapp Msg)

Pitstop Rentals: ‘I’ll be in the carpark in five minutes.’

Then during my plane journey, I’d been thinking about ‘The Swirl’ a lot. Maybe because I was tired and when you are you think of ‘wanting comfort.’ You miss people…

(Whatsapp Msg:)

Me: ‘Hope game day went well babe! I’ve just got off the plane in Leeds. x’

The Swirl: ‘How was ur trip? xx’

Me: ‘Good. Just shattered. I just worked. How was footy?x’

Swirl: ‘We got beat…I got sent off. U doing much tonite? x’

Me: ‘Comfies, relaxing and wine. You? Bet you’re shattered?’

Swirl: ‘Yeah, I am. Nice chilled nite for me tonite too.’

Then I strutted up with my luggage on wheels to the ‘pick up’ stop…A few people were about, chatting to me, waiting around for their mums etc… and a Pregnant girl asked me if I had a lighter!!!!!! (We’re definitely back in Leeds.)

I looked to my right and my driver PITSTOP RENTALS (which is THE BEST chauffeuring service, int he world ever,) was edging up to the curb, in the Range Rover…for pick up.

THANK GOD!!! The car rocked up with a vibe. A hero vibe that saved my soul.

Within seconds, my driver had jumped out of the car, grabbed my bags off me, ignored the folk who were glaring, got me in the car and with the biggest smile and the most STYLISH ATTIRE….SWOOPED me out of Leeds/Bradford airport! It took seconds.

Pitstop Driver: ‘How was it? How did your shoots go?’

Me: ‘It was literally amazing. I don’t think i’ve ever worked as hard though. I can’t even believe I was just there for 2 days for work. I’m SHATTERED.’

Pitstop: ‘You’re  soooo lucky.’

(He always reminds me that I’m lucky when he drives me. And it’s always the people who pass you safely from one destination to another, that have the quiet moments with you…away from ‘the show’ of it all and they remind you that you’re doing great, doing okay and that you’re super dooper lucky.) 

Me: ‘ I look terrible. I look like i’ve been pulled through a bush backwards and run over. I’m so tired’

Pitstop: ‘Well I know you’re hungry…You’ve worked hard. If anything you need to feel cared for and pampered right now. You need to be looked after! Hahah. Why don’t we stop off at the big fish & chip restaurant near the airport…and get something to eat and chill or bit.

Me: ‘PERFECT IDEA! LETS GO. I NEED FOOD, WINE AND A CHILL..’

Within minutes, we had swung through the restaurant door. I’m stood there directly off my Spanish flight, with my driver…and for the next hour we just sat (he moved us to a booth, cos our other table was wibbly lol) and we enjoyed a mixture of starters,  hearty fish and chip dinners, puddings, wines, coffees and banter.’

We chatted about his life and his work.He kept getting calls from ‘the office’ stating that the Lamborghini had a nail stuck in the wheel. Lol. First World Problems!

I chatted about all that I had done in Spain. He gave me pointers. Stuff, I already knew…but needed to hear. I talked about Simone. For some reason we started talking about ‘One Direction?’ (..because his best friend is Zayn Maliks uncle or something?) 

Then after I did a bunch of wine…which sucks if you’re a driver. (He’s also a good friend now.) He drove a very knackered Glamour Puss, back to her digs….on time and with the finest manner.

I STRUTTED UP TO THE DOOR SLOOOOOWLY, CREPT UP THE STAIRS…

AND SURPRISED RUBY AND JUNIOR, (WHO HAD MY FAMILY LOOKING AFTER THEM…)

And with the most excited *SCREECHES,* LAUGHTER, *RUNNING LEAP,* MUMMY CUDDLES and a moment of the most excited madness….Life just made sense again!

Those moments make everything worth it! If you’re a parent…then you get it. You get what i’m saying. I’m working my entire arse off right now and i’m all over the country, all of the time. Yet the most amazing and most fulfilling burst of true love and satisfaction comes, when you walk into the room and their world LIGHTS UP!

Makes my heart BEAM! The moments that matter…I really felt appreciated and sometimes that’s all a girl needs.

Ruby: Mum! Grandma said, a Babarrazi, is it Baba or Papa…was taking pictures of you looking sexy!?!’

When guys are like…………

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I’m in such a GOOD MOOD today!!! I’m like a juicy little bubble berried  with excitement. You could just *squeeze* me and I’d *POP* confetti, with *squeaks* of laughter and shrieks and ‘ooh laa.‘ Then champagne showers would simply start roaring out of nowhere, as let’s face it it’s Wunna Land. Glasses would be poured.  ‘Handsomes‘ would be winking…. and I would just strut forward, knowing that my version of life just seems to be getting better!

To be fair, after that really shit 2013…or was it 2014? I’ve blanked out deliberately. Lol. One of those years was SHOCKING. After that point…MY LIFE, just changed and I became the luckiest chick ever.

Then at the beginning of 2017 my mentality changed…new people entered Wunna Land. I became closer to people who I never knew I would be so close to….Then my life changed again…and Right now,because I whopped out that sassy Wunna ‘Gusto’ and decided to just  do the things that made me happy, without fear…2018 has ended up (so far) being one of the best years of my life….

YIPPPPPPPPeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE!

I’m in the most wonderful mood, for no real reason and it’s fantastic because I feel ALIVE! I’m ‘happy go lucky’ by nature. I’m the frill in ya twisters. The *pop* of that champers spray. I’m giddy…I’m great. I’m like a little girl, that’s filled with charm….I’m celebrating life and no one can stop me. And the most wonderous thing about my Tuesday, is the simple the fact that today…I have NO PRESSURE! I’m freeeeeeeeeeee!

So, I’m feeling like a Winner! ( Chicken! Chicken! Dinner!)

To me ‘balance’ is one of the most important things that I measure when it comes to success. (I nearly typed ‘ ‘when it comes to sex‘ then. Lol. How ‘Cougar‘ of me. I can’t wait until my ‘Cougar’ days kick in. I CAN REALLY. I’D HATE IT. After financially and emotionally looking after every single man in the entire world, that Cupid has FORCED me to date…or Life has MADE me cross paths with….A little lost boy, with no job, is not gonna make my wish list. Ever. And I don’t even care. Lol. I can like what or who I want….

At this point in my life, I very much want to be taken care of emotionally, mentally, physically and by a grown up man that I don’t have to pay for. That’s always good, isn’t it! And i’ve noticed that the more successful I’ve become, the more ‘lost little boys, with no job‘ come a knocking.

‘Meal tickets are the other way…Nope…No…Wait…Turn around…A bit to the left…Oh yeah and keep on walking darling…Don’t look back now, you cheeky little thing. Wunna land’s door is FUCKING SLAMMED….beautifully shut. 😉  Oh the kids are swearing at you, from the rosy tinted windows.’

What has happened to men?

I mean, the ‘Little Lost Boy’ aside….It doesn’t take much to value your girl, guy, wife, partner or fancy piece and treat her with both respect…AND like a Princess! 😉

ITS NOT THAT HARD!

I mean my guy friend, the other day was moaning about how  we chicks are all ‘trying to be independent’ now….(He took a chick out on a date, made her pay for THEIR meal and then ‘boned’ her in the back of a car.)

Romance is alive….Shakespeare couldn’t have written it better himself.

We girls have always been independent. Not only have some of us wanted to be. But we’ve also HAD to be.

I’m adventurous and fun by nature. I moved to LA by myself as a kid to chase dreams. That’s my ‘WANTING to be’ independent streak. But my ‘HAVING to be‘ independent streak is still utterly alive, because i’m a lone parent of two little babies…I’m Mum, I’m Dad, I’m Love, I’m Money. I’m everything!

At first that wasn’t by choice. Yet now….It’s great and it’s made me feel powerful… and if I love anything, I love feeling powerful. Lol.

It’s a turn on. (Sick I know.) But I go for that in guys also? I have no clue why, other than sickness? However, yes, I’m totally turned on by it….BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SOUL AND RESEMBLE A DELICIOUS PIECE OF EYE CANDY. 🙂 (Meaning not some big grizzle, ancient years older than me, evil pervert, with 22 beer bellies and a boner.)

I like a well rounded, fun, loyal, loving man. The ‘power’ things is only a sexual turn on. I don’t want you to get it twisted. Lol. It’s not an essential trait that they need. Lol. In the bedroom…I’d find that REALLY SEXY. But like I said, they have to be of the ‘handsome’ variety…You can call me ‘shallow’ for that….and…well..I won’t care. Lol. It’s what I fancy.

Everyone loves eye candy. Some people just like to look at eye candy. I like to find eye candy, with an amazing personality, that would make a good hubbster …and just make him MINE. 🙂

Italiano: (My LA Friend..) ‘She pretty much grew up in Hollywood around a bunch of guys. We were all roomates. Models, actors, lawyers, agents… But it was definitely ALL guys and Chrissie…So she kinda picked up a Hollywood dudes mentality when it comes to dating… And it’s fucking awesome. She was the best roomie I ever had!’

(We all just had so much fun. I cannot even begin to TELL you the stories. But they’re scattered throughout my blog… through the years….I loved that at 20, we could just show up to an audition, do really bad at it and then simply say ‘Fuck it’ go to The Standard, order 4 poolside strawberry margaritas and make ourselves feel better, before our next audition.)

I’ve gone on a flipping tangent!

What was I even on about? Balance? Or things I like i guys? I forgot about it all, because I was too busy *bobbing* away with cocktails at ‘The Standard.’

When it comes to men…their spirit needs to play well with mine. I want them to be my best friend. They have to be a family man. I have kids. They are part of my package. I love a laugh. I love a thoughtful person. I love sexy. I LOVE SEXY. Smart. Vain. I love ‘good times.’ But I love to chill and even if I fancy treating myself to utter glamour pussy, dressed ‘to the nines’ luxury, (which I adore,) I also love to just slum it and banter in my comfies…with a takeout.

When it comes to ‘balance’ true success to me, is when someone has everything…Happiness, health, wealth, a career they love, their dream partner, maybe even a family…and it’s all easy and all beautiful.

When I see a man who has that…I see him as ‘Successful.’

(I mean, what’s the point at winning at ONE thing, if during that time, you managed to lose everything else….?)

I learnt that early on in life in LA, when I was about 23. It was a very hard ‘learn.’ Hahaha. I cried a lot for a while…then cried over useless wilies….;)

Throwback convo….Do it in your best American accent….

Christine: ‘What the fuck is up with her…?’

Theo: ‘It’s fine, leave it. She’s crying over a penis…’

I can’t be bothered to write anymore…I need an afternoon tipple…Or an adventure with friends! I met my good friend ‘House of Solo’ Magazines, ‘Big A’ yesterday. He’s on a diet and with an orange juice, showed me all the people he was booking for the front cover of his magazine. This was at Ego…(which is like my local bar.)

BUT…

I’m excited, because I’m actually at Ego this evening for dinner and drinks, with all the Mum’s of Ruby’s class/year…whatever you want to call it. It’s great because we’ve never really hung out with each other before. We only ever see one another in passing…So, it will be really lovely, to just sit down, eat, drink and be merry, and get to know some faces that I pretty much see everyday!

That’s tonight!

Kisses,

Chrissie. x

 

Flashbacks, Fifty Shades & My Flipping Love Life

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I keep doing this thing where I wake up at around 3am in the morning, because I can’t sleep? I sleep naked and so I’ll moan that i’m chilly, step out of bed, not remember to grab a tshirt and instead unplug my phone (priorities)  and just get back into bed. Then i’ll start to Google everything. Literally anything. Lol. Before I get back into bed, I’ll look in the mirror to see if I look okay, whilst it’s still dark, yet turning into morning??? Why do I do that!!?! No one’s there but ME!!!???!! I’ll Google search until I’m tired. Am I a lunatic? That seems a pretty safe option. 😉

I did watch ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ before I went to bed….which probably didn’t help, as I have to psycho analyse everything that torments me…:) I dreamt about it all night and then found myself Googling ‘Sadists’ incase I knew any? Lol. Everyone I know is now a sadist or a psychopath. That’s what I came up with 🙂 and then I  just fell asleep, until my kitten woke me at six clock, via the fine art of paw tapping, to make sure I was up to do get Ruby ready for school.

All the way to the school run, life moments kept flashbacking at me, during my drive. My mind went back almost 10 years and for a second, it shot to a time, where I was dating Boyband Jonny, it was late afternoon, we were having a difficult time in our relationships, yet I didn’t know why? He was expressive because he was a creative. Yet, closed off emotionally, because…I’m gonna go with….he was an Aquarian? Lol. (Aquarian’s always find me.)

Anyway, (and this was almost a decade ago) i stepped into a black cab in the middle of Camden, where he was living, which would take me back to Kings Cross, so I could shimmie back onto Northern Soil…and before my cab left, he came running down the street, in his skinny jeans, up to the window and passed me a note. I smiled, waved and the car drove away.

During my journey, I opened the folded hand written note and it read…

‘Dear Chrissie,

I know I never show it…and i’m sorry for that. But I want you to know that whenever i’m with you, my heart lights up.’

(It’s strange that he could never tell me, and had to write it. But I appreciated that anyway, because any expression is good expression, right?)

Then my *flashback* stopped… I was still en route to Ruby’s school drop off. (Boyband Jonny is actually gay now and exceedingly happy and settled. He may not have become the Boyband Superstar that he always wanted…But he openly found his happy place, which not only is MORE important…Yet also makes me beam.) 

But anyway, I was driving away, ‘Happy as Larry,’ chatting to Ruby in the car…I get to the big Ackworth roundabout and my mind begins to race again and this time it takes me to this time last year….

‘The Swirl.’ 

It took me to a moment where we were both laid in a bed…his bed, everything was peaceful and it was probably around 11pmish. We’d just watched ‘Britains Got Talent’ and then a round of ‘Celeb Juice,’ before showers in separate bathrooms and night time. I remember him looking at me, saying ‘Things with you are just easy… and after I agreed, we fell asleep that night holding hands.

Then my mind *WHIZZED* me back, almost like it didn’t want me to settle upon that thought. It took me to earlier that day, where ‘The Swirl’ and I were sat on a pale lemon sofa…(which he kept assuring me he didn’t pick..)

‘It was already here when I moved in…’

It made me notice how particular & creative he actually was. (He’s an Aquarian also! They find me.) I noticed a lot of things about him that afternoon…and I loved that, because I adore nothing more than learning about people….simply by observing them… merrily. I’m like a sponge. I’ll take in EVERYTHING.

But anyway, my mind took me to us being sat on this sofa together. We were chilling and watching tv. I made fun of something. He made fun of it also and almost innocently we both burst into this silly banter of laughter. I remember looking at him when he laughed, which made me smile.  I also remember him looking at me when I was laughing, yet when I turned to face him, (as I could feel his eyes on me,) he turned his head away quickly.

Then my *Flashbacks* stopped.

Just like that i was at Ruby’s school…and my normal day had begun.

What is going on with my mind, right now? Both happy moments. Both loving memories.

Yet, I have noticed in love, that I am always in the same place.

I achieve everything work wise. I’m a great mum…I’ve developed with Ruby & Junior threefold. I adore being Mum.It’s not always easy, but I can do it on m own and it has been my greatest gift…my life saver. I dance to New Chapters always because i’m not scared of them. I’m not scared of anything. I’m irrepressible. (My Geography teacher used to always say that about me at school. Lol.)

I’m a life warrior and probably one of the most emotionally together chicks I know! It’s almost like nothing can sort of break me down, because i’ve grown so much, after failing at shit, winning at shit, being broken, yet getting back up each time, with a SMILE ON MY FACE. I feel unbreakable. It’s powerful. It radiates from me…and in a way, i wish every woman felt like that. ( My close chick friends are actually all like that…Well, most of them anyway. 😉 )

During my time in Hollywood, I went through SO much. I had the best time definitely, but. I was in my 20’s growing up in LA. There were both good and bad moments, that I never have EVER told anyone anything about…because i’ve never wanted to. But i’ve experienced life and walked lots of different paths. At 20 it was hard. At 37, it’s now such a blessing.

That’s why I always say it is MUCH MUCH BETTER for someone to come into success, fortune, or fame as a 30 something or older, than it is as a young one….As like with love, you can handle it with a better perspective without getting carried away with the bullshit. (I never get carried away with the bullshit…even if it looks like I am, or have. 😉 )

However, when it comes to my love life…Like I said earlier…I am always in the same place…

..and it’s been that way since I was 19.

I don’t get it?

I KNOW what I want and I don’t always get it. (And i’ll never just settle.) I know what I do NOT want and that is anything that is emotionally challenging…Things should come easily….At 37, I don’t want to be dealing with issues….I just want to gallop around to the sound of happiness and true love.

I believe in boys chasing girls…The ‘old school’ tactics. It shows that they’re confident and it’s not dipped in arrogance. It shows that they’re not scared of love. It’s easy and uncomplicated.

I believe in honest expression..without that you don’t have anything. You might as well be a cardboard cut out. (I once watched one of my guy friends, make potential girlfriends *jump through hoops* to win his affection. He expected them to guess how he was feeling? I never understood why? It taught me a lot about him. He had his own issues. I accepted him for who he was, as he was one of my guy besties and I didn’t ever have to date him. Lol. Yet I always hoped those chicks quit ‘jumping.‘ He wasn’t THAT MUCH of a prize. 🙂

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I believe in love. I always believe in love. And I hope you do tooo!

So let’s hope that a decade from now….when i’m flipping 47. I won’t be telling you that i’m still in the same place…

But if I am…I’m sure i’ll still be happy…. 😉

Chrissie x

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Fridays, Sex & Watermelon Ice Creams…

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Morning! Happy Happy Friday! How ya doing? I posted this picture on my ‘socials’ this morning and it’s caused my inbox to go *bonkers.* I’m not sure why everyone’s so excited? However thank you for the *hearts/likes* and everything inbetween, that i’ve received so far. I appreciate it, as it really does help when you’re trying to build some kind of blogging look at me empire..and I’ll always tell you that i’m grateful, because I’m not daft enough to think that I could do it without your attention.

I actually also got called ‘SO Incredibly DUMB’ by a Lady in Scotland, because I captioned the pic with a..

‘Does this count as my Five a Day?’

Lol. (I found it wedged between the love)

In my defense….I am aware that I’m holding an ICE CREAM and not a piece of fruit. Just in case you didn’t know that?  🙂

*ROLLS EYES.*

AND just because I served my selfie up with boobies, doesn’t mean my brain doesn’t actually work. In fact, quite the contrary… It worked an absolute TREAT for six o clock in the morning and completely sober.

Yipppppppppeeee!

However, I understand that it *rubbed* you up the wrong way… I get it, I mean, what could be more annoying than seeing me in a bikini top and a watermelon ice cream lolly, pining for ‘likes’ as soon as you wake up.

BUT JEEZE. LIGHTEN UP! IT’S FLIPPING FRIDAY! Stop being a Snooze Festival! It’s my JOB!

(A polite way of saying ‘Get lost.’ :)) 

You wore the floral blouse work. I wore the watermelon ice cream…It’s cool. Lol. We can all play nicely together, sing nursery rhymes and hold hands around Cyberland.

Glad we swept that under the glitzy bar table.

I’ve got a ton of phone calls to make today. A ton. Everything’s really busy and tomorrow it’s my gorgeous little girl’s BIRTHDAY, so alongside work, I’m planning her day of delight…as she turns SEVEN!!! I couldn’t be more excited. Family means everything to me. We’ll be headed to Sundown Adventure Land in the morning…and HOPEFULLY IT WON’T BE FLIPPING FREEZING, because the kids are gonna force me to ‘water ride’ this, ‘kiddie rollercoaster’ that….and every inch of me will be a ‘shiver.’

(The thought of it alone, has given me a runny nose.)

But yes, lots of work. Loving it. Very lucky. (I’m also trying to get back into shape, as I have shoot galore. Probably should’ve listened to the Scottish chick and not had an ice cream for breakfast.) 

I had ace banter with my chick friend last night, in regards to sex and how I guess all women do actually need it. As you sail into your 30’s you kinda enjoy a bit of ‘ooh laa,’ a great deal more than you ever did in your 20’s. I don’t know what happens?

I’m naturally sensual anyway and I never apologize for that. And I couldn’t be with anyone that I didn’t have great ‘bedroom’ chemistry with….as I couldn’t live with a lifetime of really shit sex. It’s an important part to a relationship and or even a marriage. The rest of the ‘happily ever after’ just seems to happen naturally. (In most cases. Lol)

Then this morning another chick friend of mine…

(Sorry, I’m just looking out my window because I have an 11am meeting to get to with ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Magazine and someones BLOCKED MY CAR IN….)

Anyway, one of my chicks friends is off on a Tinder Date. (I hate Tinder. But I do love that ages ago, a bunch of my guys friends had ‘liked’ so many chicks on it, that a message popped up on their phones stating that there were literally NO MORE CHICKS left for them to like.. in their area. They had ‘OUT LIKED’ Tinder itself.One of them was Nick…Who is back on Take Me Out tomorrow night…because he was one of the best boys to ever be on the show. Don’t forget to watch him.) 

But yes, one of my chick friends, who shall remain nameless, is off on a Tinder Date shortly and before this date she had to check in with me this morning to decipher if he was someone I actually knew, or just a ‘Wunna Superfan?’ ( I think he was on one of my friends lists? I don’t know. I have no clue who he is? Lol. If you have my Snapchat, or Insta you’ll know what she said… I can’t repeat it.. But it ended with…

Chick: ‘If he asked me to dress up as you, i’m leaving.’

She’s hilarious! I love her. She also quenched my ego and you’ve got to love that, as I’m certainly a big headed swine. I like to play like i’m humble at times, Lol…But I do now think, i’m quite an ego maniac. It’s disgraceful.

I love how weird dates can make you feel right? I always get nervous…I hope they fall madly in love….

Right, this is short but sweet, as I’ve got a lot of work to get through and a meeting to be at in 30 minutes.

 

Love you lots.

Thank you for following my life.

Chrissie x

See you on on ‘Socials.’ 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kitty Sexuality, Wantons & Mind Blocks…

I just keep having these really weird dreams. The other night I dreamt that I was outside in the sunlight, about to board a flight and around me I kept seeing planes taking off into the skies. The mood was all happy and calm and then I looked to my right and the Eiffel Tower appeared out of nowhere? Then I got on my plane?

Last night, I dreamt that a guy I know, who was being all lovely, all smiley, all happy…Well, he got down on one knee, and proposed to me. He put a silver band on my wedding finger and had a matching one on his wedding finger? Again, the mood was all lighthearted and peaceful. Everything just felt so perfect?

I either need to stop drinking before bed time or these dreams mean do actually mean something? I’ve stopped looking them up now….I never dream? Why am I dreaming so much?

Other than that, It’s a busy time in Wunna Land. I’m kinda just getting my ‘kitten concentration’ on, to focus on it all for a bit, as i’m rubbish at organizing things, schedules and everything in between, when it comes to my own world. I’ll just dance off with an afternoon cocktail in my hand, gleefully…. which is the bouji version of burying your head in the sand,’ when everything comes at once.

YIPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEE!

I could do with a cocktail now and it’s only 10.47am.

Slippery slope…

(Yet, luckily a slope that i’m used to…Free slide anyone?)

Yesterday evening, I managed to ‘tipper’ and a ‘tinker’ and once I did, in a flash, I had ‘penned’ into my schedule….and officially booked something in. (This is why I’ve always said that my soulmate needs to be of an organised nature. I’m quite obedient, if I don’t have to deal with the ‘faff’ of things.)

So, in April, I’m looking forward to heading down to see Kwoklyn Wan, at his deliciously divine restaurant, in Leicester, for a bit of jolly filming and blogging, as he teaches me how to cook things, for your absolute ‘social’ delight. I’m a cheeky little thing, so it will be sprinkled with that infamous Wunna Land charm.

Image result for kwoklyn Wan this morning

He was actually on ‘This Morning’ a couple days ago, with his little brother, the ever famous Gok Wan, teaching Holly and Phil how to whip up some whirlwind wantons, as he is the ‘MASTER’ of making the most delicious Chinese Street Food.

Image result for kwoklyn Wan this morning

April…(and I think he’s actually filming a documentary at that time)….I will be embracing all this Asian with him, as he teaches ME…how to be a Wanton Master! We’ll be doing a video, that you’ll all get to watch and along with a blog, I’ll be ‘socially’ sharing my behind the scenes with you.

I’M SO EXCITED!

See! A little ‘being organised‘ does you some good!

Right now, I’m trying to swizzle everything together for the CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM advert. Organizing the location, outfits and themes etc…is quite difficult. But I know what I want and I’m gonna be working with Jake Logan (who’s simply great.)

Let me tell you….The advert is going to be oozingly dripped in an actual mind blowing swirl of sexuality. It’ll be ‘kitty femme’ at it’s utter finest. It’s there to tell a story, it’s there to advertise the blog, socially. You’re not even going to know what to do with yourself afterward! 🙂

IT IS GOING TO BE ON FIRE!

We’re both really excited to film it. It can’t come quick enough. Organizing it, is actually stressing me out. But if it all goes well…They’ll be lots more adverts.

I have two shoots booked, that are coming up shortly, followed by content shoots for my ‘socials.’ Right now, i’m not finding enough time to fit everything in. Yet, I’m really lucky, so I’m going along with it all. I’m smiling and i’m winking.

I guess, sometimes things feel tough…Yet ‘tough’ is only temporary. Once you pick it up and handle it, it dissolves and becomes easy. So, i’m staying hopeful and enjoying the work that I love.

I had something else to tell you, but I can’t remember it?

SHIT! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! For Gods Sake! I even have my specs on! It’s meant to make me smarter!

No..Mind’s gone blank.

Oh Wait??

…Nope…Minds gone blank. 🙂

Anyway, everything’s great. Lost my mind. But everything’s great. I’m excited to finally get my teeth fixed. I’ve got to organise picking up the new whip. I’ve also got to organise getting a new tattoo, which i’m actually quite nervous about. I tried to talk myself out of it…But i’ll message them today and book in a ‘go see’ date…The reason why I need to do that is simply because i’m scared. The only way to solve fear, is action right? So i’m gonna smash it about, like a human dynamo and get it all sorted.

All of the above are ‘collabos’ with brands and businesses and if life is about living and adventure, then I’m the luckiest kitten in the world.

I’m still building….But something tells me, that good things are going to happen! (I dreamt of planes taking off!)

PLUS….

I HAVE A SURPRISE A COMING UP….

Some of you won’t actually like it, but lots of you will. And believe me, I have an actual internal FEAR bubbling inside me because of it.

Thank you for following my version of life!

Big Kisses,

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Life Magic, Workaholics & Privacy Please…

Happy Sunday! I’m feeling great. I had a proper ‘chill day’ yesterday and I’m enjoying every single second of it. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive and as long as that feeling is still infusing it’s way, through my little kitten soul, then i’m happy! 🙂 I’m really happy. I do get stressed, as I tend to worry more than necessary. Yet, over the last few years, i’ve kinda just trained myself to let life take it’s natural course of ‘ooh laa.’

I don’t know why I didn’t learn that sooner, when I was in LA? I went through SO MUCH, I wish you could see into my mind, as I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Lol.

Prep, practice, caution and all sorts of other logical things, DO MAKE SENSE. (I’m not a logical person, I spent my teens wishing upon stars. I spent the first part of my 20’s following ‘The Secret’ and the rest of the time doing tequila dances with my fingers crossed. 🙂 )

 YET, there’s always an overpowering *magic*…a LIFE MAGIC, that no matter how much you prep,‘ how long you ‘practice’ or how carefully you tread…that ‘magic’ bursts out of nowhere and glistens your situation with ‘destiny.’ It’s something you can’t control…It’s in the air and whirls by with an ‘everything happens for a reason‘ flag.

What’s yours, is yours. What you’re meant to get, you will. If it’s not meant to be part of your story…It won’t be.

I’ve had two days off picture taking and it’s actually felt like bliss. 🙂 I woke up this morning, Junior (my baby son) was spooning my left arm, before going off to his Dads. The babies are my entire world. They just make my life, so complete. I LOVE THEM MADLY. I can’t even tell you.

But, with them both at their dads, I had loads of time to just indulge in wearing my comfies, ( I say ‘comfies’ i’m usually topless, because it makes me feel free.) Then I chilled and started smearing my new ‘Bee Venom’ cream all over my face, before peacefully checking through my ‘socials.’

(Which reminds me..I just need to send someone a Whatsapp. One sec…

…Eww! Lol…They’ve read it and ignored it.)

What I’m gonna tell you about the ‘Bee Venom’ cream, I’ve been using (and I use the one by Venom Skincare,)  is that it’s actually AMAZING. And I wouldn’t just say that. It’s the only cream that i’ve put on my face in the morning, that has actually made me *squeak* because it felt so fresh and blissful. I’m not at all kidding. It’s by VENOMSKINCARE.CO.UK.  And since my diet’s out the window, (I could eat a flipping donkey right now,) I at least need my FACE to look halfway decent, as I grow older.

Yes, I did have it sent to me to try…But sometimes you get sent a lot of things, that areokayish.’ This is the OPPOSITE. It actually feels amazing and to me, what something FEELS LIKE, is so important…be it cream, situations or matters of the heart.

I seem to be able master everything, expect the ‘matters of the heart’ part of my life, but i’ll get there. If i was put on this Earth to learn anything, over and over again…it would be about love.  I don’t exactly know why, i’ve always had the most difficult love life…? Yet, as least i’m tinkering along with a smile on my face, right? Lol.

I don’t stress about it, because regardless i’m happy, i’m lucky and as always….that part of my life, will sort itself out naturally.

I’ve just watched Jamie Foxx peel off his headphones and walk out of a ‘live’ interview because they asked him about Katie Holmes…It’s a subject that they both obviously wish to keep to themselves. They want it out of the public eye, because it’s something they have chosen to cherish privately.

I don’t get why people refuse to respect peoples *wish* for privacy, at times? If they wanted to tell us all about it, they would! There’s tons of other couples who don’t mind celebrating their love out in the open, out loud, for all to see. They don’t want to…and that’s fine!

Dating’s hard enough, without the world prying on in with their ‘2 cents here and 4 cents there.’ They come in all armed and excited for the gossip, thinking they know the WHOLE entire story, when they actually know nothing. Nothing’s worse than the ‘think they knows.’ 

It’s kinda put me off really showbizzy,tell all relationships. I’m not one to mind telling people about bits of my love life, or picturing the happy moments, that I’d care to share… I don’t mind that all.

Yet, I wouldn’t like ‘think they knows’ tumbling in, looking for cracks, or nonsense, to prise open. I’d hate to wake up in the morning, look on my newsfeed and see that I was ‘apparently breaking up’ with someone or that the person i loved had run off and had rampant sex with some chick, behind my back.

That doesn’t sound like fun to me. It sounds like absolute hell. It turns love into entertainment, which is fine, but for me, it takes me away from what love is really about. If i love someone truly, I love them madly and i’d hate to have it ripped to pieces to fill gossip pages. So good on Jamie Foxx, for shaking his head, peeling off his headphones and walking away from his ‘live’ interview, with total ‘stay out of my shit’ swag!

BOOM!

Work wise, i’m really excited because i’m about to film and shoot, the online advert for this blog, my blog, my diary,

CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM

It’s only a short online advert, but it’ll be so much fun to do. I’ll love every single second of it and that’s all that matters. I’ll enjoy it. It already feels so exciting and I love the whole creative aspect of it all. I can imagine it in my head and that alone keeps me happy. Lol

These last few days off have been wonderful. You’ve got to have balance. Even if you’ve chosen a job that you adore. I love what I do. Yet, for me.. being a workaholic doesn’t fit well. It’s 10 sizes too small. I was made for fun and pleasure and when you’re a ‘Lone Parent,’ Mum of two…You can’t just constantly prioritize work, because without balance, it’s not fair on them or in fact anyone you love.

On their death bed, no one wishes they worked more! And if they just so happened to, I feel bad that they never experienced the joy of love.

God! I went on a rant again. Maybe I should get back to working harder… 🙂

Ps/ I didn’t dream of Dwarves last night.

 

 

 

 

Is Cupid Really That Stupid…?

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Happy Day of LURVE , my Lovelies! Now, I’m a creature of ‘kitten’ who adores a good Valentines day. I’m addicted to romance and sweet whispers dipped in giddy. I swag it out, but I love it. Yet, let’s just say, even though i’m quite quite lucky, when it comes to grabbing the attention from boys…and the occasional girl…

..Cupid is also GREAT at pulling down my pants, pointing and laughing at me, with a..

GOTCHA!

Cupid is a bastard at times. We’re friends now though. At the end of the day, he’s not that bad. I always say you’ll meet someone one day and realise why it didn’t work out with everyone else. He trains you up for it. (Bastard.)

Like I said, in my last blog…There’s soooo many people who regards this day at a ‘Hallmark’ Holiday…And I think, yes…we’re meant to love and appreciate the person we adore EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, OF EVERY SINGLE DAY...but we don’t. We just don’t because we get caught up with our own lives, the stresses of it, or the ‘busy parts…’ I mean, guys will often straddle on Social Media telling random Glamour Pusses how beautiful they are, yet forget to tell their wife, on a morning when she wakes up…or when she looks lovely.

SO, if there is a DAY (and I say it all the time) to dedicate a moment, to the person you love, adore or appreciate…and TODAY has been labelled that day…then why not embrace it, celebrate it and show the person you love, that you actually care.

It takes one second.

(Text them now, order flowers or book in at your local restaurant.)

It doesn’t matter how you do it…It’s always the thought the counts and also the situation you are in. You may be apart, but if geography doesn’t get the better of you, your ‘ooh laa‘ should not only survive but last the distance. Chemistry travels through the Universe and back.

You may have busy schedules… But it only makes the moments you DO share together that MORE precious. You may live together and see one another EVERY SINGLE DAY, yet have never really opened up and showed love the way you wanted to…

You may fancy a ‘someone’ and just can’t find it in you to tell them.. You may want to turn a ‘Beneficial friend‘ 🙂 (aww, I put that so beautifully,) into a true love….? All sorts of situations…But there are ALL SORTS of Valentine Solutions.

No Excuses.

I only feel bad for those wanting to surprise a secret crush…as that to me is terrifying. I have everything crossed for you. Keep the romance alive! You have the ‘Big Balls.’

Hurrah! Love Heart Lollipops for everyone?

So yeah, being a LIVE LIVER…and someone who turned the diary of her life, into her business… I say..

GO FOR IT.

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(Even if your ‘Pants Down’ Cupid, by the end of it. I’m ballsy. I always always GO FOR IT.) 

I’m just reading through my news feed and I love how some guys palm off Valentines day with a ‘what I love you anyway…it’s just a day… YET, moan that we chicks don’t take Steak & Blowjob‘ day seriously.

Hahaha. Be Smart Fellas!

I actually want to know what ALL my chick friends got from their ‘Handsomes,‘ as i’m on my travels, so i’m hoping they Whatsapp me the whole entire, gossipy *shabbam.*

Over the last couple days, i’ve been busy on shoots and sorting out the business part of Wunna Land. So when there isn’t a blog, it’s because i’m either working, just chilling with the babies, or guzzling a massive WINE.

I will tell you that I HAVE BEEN FREEZING. Imagine being out in the fricking freezing cold, shooting, naked….

Yipppppppppeeeeee!

It’s hard to keep it sexy when you’re you’re freezing. It’s made me not fancy guys who do not put the heater on. I associate the cold with hatred. 🙂

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Okay, so I have a family day today, with Ruby, Junior, My Mum, Dad & Brother. Today is what I call ‘Treat Day,’ where we splurge on delights and do whatever we want. We treat ourselves. (Junior’s excited and filled to the brim with giddy burst of glee, that just bubbling through him. Ruby’s currently trying to choose 1000 toys to sell, so she can make extra money, because it makes her happy? She is every bit ME. Lol) 

We’re actually headed to The Frenchgate Centre in Doncaster today, to go ahead and celebrate their FIFTIETH YEAR, where we’ll be ‘LOCKING IN THE LOVE’ and placing our Wunna land padlocks on the giant Iron Heart in the centre…to show OUR LOVE and appreciation, as a family.

Doncaster means a lot to me…as even though I ventured off to do life in West Yorkshire, then well…Hollywood….It’s always been my birth place, always obviously will be my birth place…Lol…and I have the fondest childhoods memories there.

Happy Valentines Day from Wunna Land.

Love you.

Chrissie x

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Private Messages, Blog Readers & What I Want…

Me: ‘Can you believe that he said he didn’t go on my blog..? That winds me up!’

Chick Friend: ‘I know it does…Lol. But it’s not like you know them personally, or even at all. They’re a Wunna Fan and they like your Facebook photos…They’ll go on your blog, now that you’ve told them off..lol.. read it.. realize…feel all intimidated and then shit themselves.’

Me: ‘LOADS of people click on the blog…all the way around the flipping WORLD!!!!! I can’t believe that some people just look at the pictures, send me adoration and then don’t click on the blog? Yet, they’re so interested in Me and my life??? Who’d do that? It’s not smart! I’m insulted. Lol! It’s the DIARY of my goddamn LIFE! Haha! But good! Once they DO click and they DO read…then they’ll appreciate me for what i’ve done, achieved and enjoyed. Plus, I learn a lot about THEM. I can wiggle through the ones that read the blogs and the ones that just *like* the half naked photos.’

Chick Friend: ‘You need a morning Mimosa.’

Me: ‘Hahaha. I don’t even know why it’s riled me right UP!’

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you’re well. We made it through the week! I feeling great! Sort of on top of the world, if i’m being honest. I’m bubbling over with ‘joie de vivre.’  I’m happy. I’ve had a busy week. It’s been filled with ups and downs…But it’s glistened over dandily. I’m over the moon. It’s been a great week, in every area.

I’ll always tell you, i’m the luckiest shit in the world. 🙂

I’ve got one more audition today…I had one yesterday….I need to shoot more content for my ‘socials’ and take a look through today’s collabo’s. Once that’s done, it’s a vino for me and a Kitty welcome to the weekend. (I worked all last weekend and filmed bits and bobs…So this weekend is all about family, the babies and good times with them.)

God!!! My body feels all knotted up. It needs a big stretch out. I love a good stretch. It’s weirdly sexy, isn’t it? No? Just me? Lol. I mean,  I’m fascinated by watching people stretch…I’m aware that, i’ve just made myself sound incredibly creepy. And I am somewhat creepy. But honestly, you watch people stretch…They just look all relieved and ‘free from tension.’ Makes me happy!

Hahaha.

(I need to stop or just go see a therapist. Lol)

So, obviously, my inbox gets filled with a generous amount of dodgy messages, I’ve stopped reading them….but i’ve been reading all the good ones.

I love my comments, because they’re usually so lovely and it’s not really too terrifying, because they’re all out in the open. It’s my DM’s, Messenger Messages and PM’s that CAN BE terrible.

Sometimes, I look at men and think, GOD, just learn some manners.

I mean it’s fine if you’re dating someone and you’re being all sexy with one another…That’s NORMAL. It’s exciting. It’s fun. It keeps your relationship ‘juicy.’

And to me, relationships and romantic commitments are about that. It’s a bundle of...loyalty, love, friendship, trust, fun, family and SEXINESS. (Like, I don’t know how anyone copes with a ‘sexless’ marriage, or has a relationship that is simply JUST SEX, where in which you can’t find yourself just chilling in your comfies, watching Saturday night telly with your significant other and laughing at the shit bits, with a take out.)

I mean, GOSH, I’m not hear to give relationship advice, by any means. I’m just saying….If you don’t know a girl personally, date a girl at all, she’s never ever spoken to you before. and you’ve just found her profile on social media…

The most gentlemanly thing to do, is to approach her with a tone that shows respect, humour or loveliness..There are some HORRIBLE MUNTERY GUYS, who look like they live in a cellar or under a bridge somewhere, where there’s been no sunlight for years, or lessons on common social etiquette, who send me the rudest,trying to be naughty or masterful’ messages.

I hate bad manners. No wonder you’re single…and live under a bridge. Lol

So yeah, that’s why I only reply to my open air comments and never reply to anything on messenger, any direct messages, or private messages.

I ignore them for my own sanity…Unless they’re to do with work, or it’s one of my actual ‘real life‘ friends. Everyone else, who knows me properly…will have my number anyway.

And I get that i’m a girl, in my undies and you’re all excited. ..I’ve played the ‘tease game‘…which is the art of a glamour model….and that’s great, that’s fine. It’s fun! I appreciate the love. It’s flattering. I couldn’t thank you more for all of your comments… (even if you don’t click on the blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol.)

Yet, the pictures are there to draw attention…and i’m not gonna lie to you and say that they’re not. I’m just saying that SOME strangers simply need to learn some manners. Like what strangers, talk shit like that to women they’ve never spoken too. What strangers show you their willy? What strangers, try to give your vagina selfie tips? Lol. (He didn’t even have a profile pic. You can’t give out selfie tips, without a profile pic. 🙂 )

On a cheery note:

I will tell you that I received the loveliest message from that guy, who sat next to me on the train to Manchester last weekend, before filming. The one that owns the clothing store.. I blogged about him.

This is what he send me,

‘I remember you saying about your blog, so I had a read and I saw that you put me in the post, and I just wanted to say thank you very much for your kind words. It genuinely meant a lot to read, when you’ve had a shit year and a half, so it means a lot to see something nice written about me. Thank you very much. It means a lot to me. 🙂 x’ ‘

And see! It’s THOSE moments, that make me smile, that make a difference, that make me beam. THOSE MOMENTS that make me feel like the blog has a purpose, that I have a purpose and show me that i’ve inspired. Even the moments when NEW people take the time to read the blog.

You never get to read those messages, because they’re always sent to me privately. Meaning you only see, the ‘Hey sexy lady’ comments…..under tje half naked Wunna pics. (And I do love those comments too! They keep an old bird happy!! 🙂 )

I get quite a lot of those lovely messages..so now, as they come in, i’m gonna start putting them on my blog. I’m actually astounded because it’s the smallest things, in my diary that have impacted people, with love. The smallest things have great power.

I’m a glamourous girl…Yes. I’m sassy…Yes. I fancy myself as a glamour puss. Yes. I’m an attention whore…Yes.

Yipppeee!

But, I have an awesome sense of humour. Which is the BEST THING about me, other than having great boobs and that never comes across on my selfies. People don’t expect me to have a personality…and i’d say my personality CERTAINLY out weighs the way I look.

But i’m a simple girl…I DO APPRECIATE, the finer things in life...(I’m not going to lie to you.)  And I DO LOVE IT, when a guy treats you well.

 However, it’s the smallest things that make me smile. I love expression. I love thoughtfulness. Mixed in with sexiness. I could have all the riches in the entire world. I could be the MOST FAMOUS and MOST SUCCESSFUL PERSON EVER……

Yet, to me, what is success if you go through life and never ever inspire others…What is success, If you never put your children first…If you never found a great man or wonderful woman that loved you with every inch of their heart….If you never took a chance and chose a career that you loved, if you never appreciated your friends, your family….YOURSELF, If you never stood your ground, If you never felt the glisten of happiness, swirling through your soul….

If you never have achieved any of the above..then what success have you actually achieved??? They’re ALL things that riches cannot buy!

They’re all things that matter to Me…

Happy Friday,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life, Chicken Outfits & Train Journies

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Hi! I haven’t abandoned you! Just lots going on right now, which is ticking my work boxes off with  ‘deliciousness.‘ I’m learning a lot about people and life right now. I always thought I knew everything. I would wouldn’t I!! 😉 I can be such a cocky little shit at times. But what i’ve treasured from my darling little accidental ‘life learns’ over the past couple days, is that you should never ever be afraid to voice how YOU FEEL about something, someone, or a situation, no matter how awkward it may make you or others feel. By nature, I’m a ‘voicer’ and I stand by being expressive, until the day I keel over in glitter heels. It’s good for everyone!

(Like last night, I sent someone a message because I must’ve kinda doubted myself…I did cringe after I sent it…But it was how I really felt in the moment. I chilled a second..and just like that, this morning… everything was back to dandy.)

Another lesson…Don’t doubt yourself.

(I’m only saying that so I remember… But you always need life lesson reminders.)

The right people will always understand you. The ones who truly care for you, will always still be there. The people who do you wrong, or disappear will always say ‘sorry’ or come back to you whole heartedly…if they’re meant to be in your life. Stay loyal to what you believe is right for YOU and DO NOT go against, what your gut instinct tells you…

Unless, your gut instinct is kinda ‘off par,‘… then you’re kinda fucked. 🙂  Like one of my Straight guy friends, he has the worst ‘Gaydar‘ in the entire world ever! He can never be trusted with it…

Straight Friend: ‘He’s not gay..’

Me: ”We’re in G.A.Y, he said he loved me on the Hilton Show, loves my eyeshadow and then said *i’m gay.*”

Straight Friend: ‘That doesn’t mean he’s actually gay..’

Anyway….busy weekend! I travelled to Manchester. Well I did Stockport and then this other place that began with ‘L,’ for work. I can’t really tell you too much about it other than, I was in trainers…(I KNOW…HELL DIDN’T FREEZE OVER.) Around me there were really bright, almost neon, yellow walls, bright orange, semi circled chairs.. in a sports hall, tons of paperwork everywhere….and humans.

There was even a point where I was trapped in a room, with a ballet bar and a giant mirrored wall…with a black elasticated waist band strapped around me, that had a HUGE, ALMOST GIANT elastic band attached to it. (Could life get any offer.) And to make it worse…I was also in swimming goggles, which pretty much broke my heart.

‘What about my flipping eyelashes…I can’t see a thing. I can’t ACTUALLY SEE!’

Then as a camera filmed, others watched and a panel of humans took notes…the giant elastic band, was slowly pulled back, so it was stretched out, to its absolute tightest…. and then let go on me.

Hurrah!

Did that happen to you on Sunday?

‘Hustle Barbie’ messaged me during the day to see how it was all going…

Me: ‘Aww! Yeah. Such a blast. I have just had a giant elastic band, stretched back and pinged into my fanny!!’

Hustle: ‘Hahaha. I love it! I can’t wait!’

Before that I was having a conversation with a cabaret act. He was once on the Xfactor Bloopers and wore golden glittery shoes…There was also a Tattooed model, an elderly lady dressed in a CHICKEN OUTFIT, a former Aston Villa pin up girl (who was cool, witty and said she used to be 29 stone,) a guy from Belfast, who thought a bomb or something shifty was under his chair, a guy opposite me who had flown in from Perth and to my right sat a football player…

We had to blow a balloon up and draw whatever we wanted on it…

Football Player: ‘What have you drawn on your balloon?’

Me: ‘Boobs…You’ve drawn a football net… We’re so creative. Lol’

Then he starts reading everything about me. We had these sheets by us, that pretty much stated our lives in 2 pages of A4. I didn’t LET him read it…he just couldn’t stop reading it. (Must be my charm.)

Football Player: ‘You look great! You’re really pretty. You’re soo…’

Me; ‘Thanks. That’s sweet. Lol.’

Football Player: ‘As if your body’s like that and you’ve had two kids.’

(He kept reading notes about me, putting his head up and then making a statement.)

Me: ‘Hahah. Smooth. Scoring all the points.’

Footy Player: ‘So you’re a blogger and model. What’s a glamour model? I’m having to take a break from football…that’s why I’m here. I bought out my contract and..’

Me: ‘Where are you from? Who did you play for?

Footy Player: ‘France. I’m here because of football. It’s my life. I love it. I just hate the other shit that comes with it. I’ve played for lots of clubs…Like Tottenham…*******…..********** but…yeah, I guess I don’t look really professional. I’m not playing right now…I’ve actually moved to Leeds.’

(Then he told me loads of secrets that I cannot possibly tell you)

…and in that moment I actually felt really bad for him…because an unhappiness swirled about him….But we were there to do a job that day and everyone there…did. He was a really open guy…quite quiet… I didn’t fancy him at all….he just wasn’t my type…but he was a good friend during that day. He sort of latched onto me because he trusted me.

I felt bad for him because at one point, all the guys were just stood around him constantly, asking him continuous questions about ‘football this, football that…’ and all the things he didn’t want to talk about…I watched it and just saw him look uncomfortable. Show business, is not something that he is necessarily used to.

I felt bad because you can literally ask me anything. I write a whole online diary about my entire existence. I bloom when a camera is plonked in my face. Opening up about my life, what I think and making a ‘show’ of it, is all is my forte… It’s where I feel comfy. AND I do not LIKE to see other people feeling UNCOMFORTABLE. I wanted to go tell his story for him. Lol.

But then, as life would have it, he too got trapped in a mirrored room, with a giant elastic band strapped onto his waist. Again, like moi….he toooo, had to have it ‘stretched out and pinged back’ upon himself. 🙂 Kinda ‘broke him into’ entertainment.

Just a great day. I had a blast. I met so many people, who were all so different to me. I was fascinated. Sometimes, I found them a bit boring, but other times I found them alright. Lol. Plus, I’m never wearing swimming goggles ever again. I’m a bloody glamour puss…not a…Goggled, boobied… life guard. AND i was in flipping trainers!!! EWW! On the way there, a guy named ‘Trigger’ tried to make me GET IN HIS CAR.

Me: ‘No. You’re alright mate. I’ll just walk.’

Trigger: ‘Well gimme ya numba den..’

Me: ‘My phone doesn’t work. 🙂 Godda go.’

Trigger: ‘Get in my car. Honest. I’ll takes you there. I’m a good person me.’

Me: ‘I am absolutely sure you are. And I am absolutely not getting in your car. Lol But thank you so much, banter was fun…’

I couldn’t wait to get home Sunday evening. Then I went through emailed drama…so I just left it.

Too blessed to be stressed. *Shimmie everywhere.*

On the train there though, this guy…I don’t even know his name? Anyway, he was from Chesterfield, got on my train, had a huge Ikea bag filled with clothes, he was wearing a beanie hat and an oversized jacket. He tooo, was also en route to Manchester and sat on the chair next to me.

Funny guy,  and so different to me, but we got on well. Bless him.

Now, I usually hate talking to strangers on the train. I’m chatty. But i usually like to chill, as I spend my life talking to strangers and selfie posing with or for them. I really liked talking to this stranger because he humored me and right from the moment he sat down he apologized for having the hugest bag in the world.

Him: ‘Are you getting off soon? Should we swap places?’

Me: ‘Yeah, if you want… I’m off at the next stop.’

Him: ‘Stockport’s a good 40 mins away yet. We’ll be fine.’

Turns out he used to work at Tesco’s, hated it so much because it made him feel worthless, just like a number. And that’s like any normal ‘just to make money‘ job really…If you don’t create your own dream and work it, you end up working someone else’s dream, where you are always a number…even when they try and tell you you’re not. And you’re a classed as a ‘number’ because you can quite easily be replaced…even if you think you can’t.

Him: ‘I gave up my job, my everything and just fucked off to Amsterdam really for a month… It was great.’

He said it like he couldn’t feel more liberated. I liked it, because he wasn’t scared to let go of something that made him feel miserable.

Him: ‘I think i just sat in this cafe, the whole time and spend about £1000 in a week doing nothing… I met this couple and they had started up a clothing business…They were travelling around, selling clothes…I liked it, so I told them that I was completely gonna steal their idea and did.’

That’s what he does now…He owns ‘Red & Blue Umbrella’ which is a Vintage clothing company. He’s opened up a store in Manchester (that’s where he was taking the clothes.) It’s four months new and is looking to open up in Leeds, Edinburgh and London? I might have just made London up?

Nicest guy, funniest guy, and now on his way to doing great things…after giving up something that wasn’t true to his heart.

Me: ‘You’re gonna do well.’

Him: ‘Yeah, it’s still early days yet… Plus, I believe that you can FAIL at something YOU HATE, so you might as well give something a go and maybe fail at something you LOVE.’

Me: ‘I love that.’

Him: ‘I don’t even know if I saw that couple in Amsterdam. It was either all the ‘shrooms’ or actual human beings…couldn’t really tell you.’

Either way. Lol. It worked out for him.

I was sat next to him and I was showing him the pics that I had just posted on Instagram…( it was enthralling for him, i’m sure, lol) and he showed me how to work depop.

I will be posting products on my depop this week , for you to buy…at some point.

These were my Instagram pics. 🙂 Lol.

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Me: ‘My stop…Godda go!’

Then I headed on my way. I looked back. He didn’t see me look back, and I saw him looking at his phone and laughing. He looked really happy. Then some middle aged lady asked to sit next to him..He shuffled his Ikea bag over.

Chick Friend Jodie: ‘As if he just randomly got on a train and just so happened to sit next to you. It’s always really awkward for them because you’re someone who they don’t know immediately, but then discover. But they discover it during their time of sitting next to you on the train, or whilst you’re at the bar ordering a gin… It’s crazy for them.’

Me: ‘It’s not crazy. It’s not that good a discovery. Lol. But a guy who came and sat at my table…That New Jersey one, when I went to visit Ronnie…he actually said that he excused himself from the table, went to the toilet, Googled me, saw a bunch of pictures and read my last blog post, before sitting himself back down. I thought he had gone to do a wee. I’m actually oblivious to it I like it though. I like it when they read my blog.’

Happy Tuesday…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls Night, Back Bends & Things In Our Mouths

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Happy Monday! What a weekend! I’ve had a really busy time and I’m absolutely appreciating all the love that you’re sending my way. It honestly makes me *beam,* as quite frankly, it makes me feel like i’m doing my whole ‘shimmie’ well. So thank you for that!

I was meant to be on an early morning shoot this morning, yet it is chucking it down…raining like a beast…(not that ‘beasts’ rain?) So, due to ‘not very dandy’ picture taking conditions,’ the shoot has had to get postponed. Plus, jiggling outside.. with no top on, in the freezing rainy cold, may look glamourous once posted, however, believe me….IT WILL BE THE MOST UNGLAMOUROUSLY FREEZING TIME!

It also takes an army of people rushing around, throwing warm silver blanket things over me, whilst someone puts up a gazebo to make sure my hair doesn’t get wet and others are on shoe watch to make sure my heels don’t sink into mud. It’s that fussy. I once had to get CARRIED onto set, so my shoes didn’t ruin and then had to get re lipglossed, because I was chewing gum and they didn’t know. A lady had to remove the gum out of my mouth carefully, like it was some kind of ‘don’t touch the sides of my mouth’ game…and then re lip gloss me. Lol I’m not sure why I couldn’t have just spat it out myself…Yet, it was LA…and in LA, your gum will be removed for you.

So yeah, no shoot today.

I had an amazing weekend with the kids. Ruby had a ‘play date’ then we shopped until our kitten feet couldn’t take it. Junior was by my side like my trusty little soldier, lunching and laughing…and being treated to all kinds of ‘goodies.’  I’ve been going through a difficult time with the art of co parenting with his Dad Keiran. I usually co parent well, because i’m quite laid back. But Keiran and I are really different humans and every so often he attempts to get ‘narky’ with me, in order to feel a sense of control. Then remembers that i’m sassy, not his, the better parent and extremely sassy when it comes to the happiness of my baby boy. Every day i’m grateful that I have Junior…and I am extremely grateful that I am no longer married to his Father.

Yippppeeeeeeeeee!

(I’ve just remembered that I have a Skype audition at 3pm. Totally forgot. And if you’re in the same sort of position…know that one day you’ll meet someone who will make you realise why it didn’t work out with everyone else.)

Anyway, my schedules been busy and I haven’t really had much time with ‘the girls.’ Obviously, I tinkered into a new chapter and I no longer get to see them as often…So Saturday night was really great because we all went around to Mel’s or an at home, prosecco and nacho filled evening of ‘catch up,’ drinking  games, banter and love.

I always try and make time for the people that have my back, the people who I care about because I think it’s really important. We do everything for each other….and we’re all so different. I wrote about them daily last year and mainly because these girls are my truest chick besties…. I’m about to go through a very different thime…and something tells me…I’m gonna need them in order to ground Wunna Land and stop me from going insane.

You never go insane if you have good GOOD people around you, be they family, friends or lovers.

I don’t know what happened, but we drank. We drank loads. We’re drinkers.

It didn’t seem like we had drank too much, but once the games were out, the gossip had been exchanged. (Girls are girls, if we’re not talking about men, our sex lives,  life in general or other girls we know..be it in good favour or just for an evil  laugh..then it’s not normal.)

Here’s some conversation snippets…

‘He just never wants sex and i’m like, i need all the dicks…’

‘I love it because i’m not answerable to everyone… I can do what I want..’

‘She’ll do it when she’s ready…’

‘But honestly….how many pies?’

‘Pass me that wine bottle, so I can drink the last bits out the bottle.’

‘I really NEEDED tonight because Men are awful..’

‘Watch me do a back bend.’

‘I like your Vegan thing…I think it’s a good niche.’

‘Did I eat meat? I’m a Veggie? I can’t remember if I ate meat?’

‘But do you actually like anal?’

‘You really need to buy a rose gold bullet.’

Games were played. MORE DRINKS WERE CONSUMED..(and might I add in the poshest prosecco flutes ever. Mel’s a super great host! She really takes care of you, like a Mum…..That gets drunk. J )

We had a little go at ‘Speak Out,’ which I hate because I usually refuse to put something in my mouth that hasn’t been sterilised because I hate that it’s been in everyone else’s mouth. Lol. (There may be males from the past who disagree….LOL..But honestly, i’m a proper germaphobe.)

Me: ‘I can’t play that!’

Hustle: ‘It’s not been in anyones mouth.’

Then they didn’t even put me on a team, so I had to sit there, for no reason with this THING IN MY MOUTH, like a tool, just having normal conversation as they played ‘guess what i’m saying..’

Do know, that I am accidentally really good at drinking games. Everyone, including myself will think i’m going to be shit, because I never care, then something like ‘prosecco’ happens…and BOOM, i’ll win everything…LIKE BEER PONG....and then everyone wants me on their team.

Hahahahaha!

We were acting things out, slagging people off….drinking, drinking and then, after a moment of chatter with ‘Double B’ in the shed and sort of sauntered back in, sat down and Mel just looked at me and said,

‘Are you okay?’

‘No…I feel like I need to be sick..’

(I’m that pathetic.)

So being the ‘Hostest with the Mostest’ Mel finds a giant bowl. It’s all in flash back to me, so it appeared by magic…and I venture out into the garden, with my bowl…(It’s now pitch black)

‘I have to go outside. I can’t have you all watching me…’

And I puke in her washing up bowl and then venture back in filled with smiles, like nothing has happened and I might have won a Beauty Pagent en route, waltz straight through her patio doors gracefully and shout…

‘I’ve just done a massive sick…LOOK!’

Mel: ‘You’ve puked up everything you’ve ‘et’

They’re all pissed, so they find it funny for a second and then just get on with life like a washing up bowl of sick was ‘the norm.’

I felt much better and MEL, again the ‘Hostest with the Mostest’…takes my bowl of sick from me ..and just like that it magically disappears.

Then we talked sex, around a kitchen table…and ‘Fairytale’ decided to do all this back bends in front of an oven. I’m too old to do back bends…Plus, they terrify me because, well…that’s how I ended up having Ruby. J Back bends at Park Plaza, Leeds. (All my children were conceived in hotel rooms. Hahah.  Junior’s was the most grandest, executive ‘four poster bed’ suite at Oulton Hall. Lol. Why am I even telling you this? Whatever…it’s just life. I’m sure you’ve got up to similar.)

Just the most brilliant night, with the girls I hold closest. You should always try and make time for the people who actually make the effort to make time for you. That way you’ll never be alone…and always have true friendship a phone call, or a whatsapp message away.

Felt like shit all Sunday and you know you feel rough when all you can stomach for lunch is a Vimto Slushy.

They all felt shite.

Double’s B Boyfriend was so lovely. He drive every single one of us home, to our doorsteps, to make sure we got home safe. Double B almost puked in a bag and i fell asleep in the back.

Fairytale: ‘Why have we dropped Hustle off first. I was two stops away and now we’re in LEEDS. I could’ve been in bed right now.’

I got out the car and strutted to my door step, as ‘Double B’s’ boyfriends ‘J’ wound down his window and said,

‘Where you going??’

Me: ‘This way…’

Such a fun time….Life is there to be enjoyed.

Enjoy it!

I’m off to go meet ‘Firmonnell’ now. She’s my chick bestie and well couldn’t make it to ‘Girls Night’ on Saturday.

I actually better go..I’ve got to be there at 10.30am…

Love you,

Chrissie x

Ps/ Follow all my ‘socials’ for behind the scenes ‘Wunna Land’ vibes.