Leeds, German Markets, The Homeless & Idiots!!

Literally the best weekend ever. It’s been filled to the brim with life, glamourousity, family, Christmas excitement and a raw reality that keeps all humans balanced.

I tinkered into my weekend after a really busy work week, where I wasn’t ‘Double B’s best life line…

Double B: ‘I have no clue where I am??? There’s a bush, some water and a metal pole. I’m by some nurseries??? Where do I go??’

If you know me, you will know that I have NO SENSE OF DIRECTION. I have no clue where anything is. I can’t walk there. I can’t drive there. I’ll find it in the end, because i’m a natural survivor…Yet let me tell you, it’s a jolly old ball ache. Geography was not my best subject. Luckily, ‘Double B’ is as rubbish at choosing ‘life lines’ as I am and unfortunately called ME, for the answer to her ‘Where am I’ needs.

Me: ‘Don’t get stressed. It’s fine. Calm down. Do you need me to sing to you? Shall I sing to you…I don’t think ya ready, for this jeellly, I don’t think ya ready, for this..’

Double B: ‘There’s a metal pole. I might hit myself with it…Ask Hustle….NOW!!! I’m by some nursery!!!’

Early through the week, ‘Firmonnell’ who is getting thinner and blonder each day and has the most adorable husband ‘Big D,’ who leaves her champagne and fresh cut flowers, before he flies to Barcelona for the weekend with his guy friends, decided to hunt around a building…no…that’s wrong, an ‘ENGINE ROOM’ trying to catch people having sex.

Firmonnell: ‘I don’t know?? It was just in m head. It was creepy. I just couldn’t stop imagining catching people having sex in the engine room???’

Me: ‘What, in that cupboard?’

Fimonnell: ‘NO. The engine ROOM.’

(Cos everybody knows what that is? Lol And one of the beings, that she thought she would find, in her very creative imagination, had just been to Greggs. I saw them with my own very eyes…. So they would definitely be ‘doing it’ with a bacon sandwich in their hand. It’s like the Yorkshire version of ‘Fifty Shades.’ They’ll even stamp ya card afterwards…)

But yes, I rolled into my weekend with beams and smiles, because my Saturday IS ALL about Mummy, Ruby and Junior time. And BOY, did we have a time.

No alarm!

We woke up at the crack of dawn in a fox onesie, a Paw Patrol onesie and one that resembles a Happy Unicorn and within a moments flash, we were showered, changed, (I had a coffee and a Little Mistress faux fur bundled around me,) as we tickled and giggled into a car and *winked* a train into a busy Leeds City Centre.

Believe it or not, neither Ruby nor Junior have ever been on a train before. Well, so they say. Ruby’s actually been on a train to London lots of times. When she tiny and single mummying was hardcore, I used to have to take her with me, with my Mum to appearances and work.

Bottom line, they were both so excited BY LITERALLY EVERYTHING…and it was so sweet because their excitement was infectious. Middle aged ladies and young girls were chatting to them and laughing with them…The train was rammed. It was SO BUSY. But the most lovely lady had saved the children and I seats, just so they could sit down, through all the madness and the bustle. It meant a lot to me. I thanked her profusely.

The rest of the day, (well we were in the City Centre by 10am,) was nothing short of magic. We did everything and anything. We did life. It beamed from us, as we made the city our own. There was buzz in the air. An energy. And as we sauntered through the morning city centre streets of Leeds, Christmas was all around us.

We visited the Candy Mechanics ‘Edible Selfie Station’ where the babies had their faces turned into designer chocolate lollipops, we shopped at Smiggle, we picked out toys, we wrote ‘Dear Santa’ letters, we bought Boba Tea drinks (a Boba tea is one of my favourite non boozy choices, incase you didn’t know) …Our Boba Tea bar of choice was ‘Bubbleology,’ we almost ventured to the cinema, but decided against it, simply because we didn’t want to be stuck inside for hours…and then we grabbed a quick lunch at Yo Sushi. (The one at  Trinity Leeds.)

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The pure and utter absolute excitement on their faces, as sushi and sashimi plated delights, sloooooooowly, glided past them on the magical electronical conveyor belt, as they chatted to the chef was…it was just so fulfilling. (So, I celebrated with a wine. 😉 ) We were treated really well in there and I appreciated that. Ruby tried a little bit of everything.  She has an exquisite palette for a six year old. She adores sushi on the whole… Junior chose the closest thing he could get to fish fingers and chips, by picking out the fish tempura and Japanese salted fries. Lol

Junior: ‘I think I prefer the chips at Mcdonalds..’

But we had a blast. It was amazing.

At that point, we were meant to go home. But I guess, home wasn’t ready for us JUST yet, as we found ourselves hand in hand, walking up to Millennium Square, to the German Market, to celebrate Christmas. Ruby was armed with warm roasted chestnuts and Junior with a cup of sweetcorn. It was so busy, we even got lost. Lol. (Told you i’m rubbish at directions.) I had to call Pete (Ruby’s Dad) to tell me the quickest route to Millennium square. Lol

Pete: ‘Where are you?’

Me: ‘By the Victoria Quarter. I’m passing Harvey Nic’s and Louis Vuitton is on my right. Do I just..’

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Pete: ’…Walk straight up and turn left at the cross road. It’s behind The Light. As if Ruby’s agreed to walk that far. Lol’

And with a blink, we were there, immersed in the magic of a Christmas wonderful land, with fairground rides, mulled wine cabins, hand made Christmas gifts, giant snow globes, merriment, warm fires and just life at it’s finest. Everyone there seemed to be having the most wonderful time…so we went with the mode and embraced it. We went on rides. I did mulled wine, they did hot chocolates, we rescued Rudolph…I don’t think they could believe their little Christmas eyes?

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It was  a swirl of utter merriment. They threw their heads back with laughter. We chatted to pretty much everyone. We sang. We danced down the street. We won teddies. It was almost like everyone around us had committed to having a ‘good time.’ Even the security guard winked at Junior, and told him that his ear piece and walkie talkie was his direct line to Santa. Lol.

He just gazed at him, with his mouth wide open and is face filled with glee. I’ll always remember that face, because one day he won’t be four anymore. He’ll be a grown ass man. But no matter how old he gets…i’ll always be able to see that face in him.

It was still day time, but the air was getting nippier and the day was beginning to turn to night…so I thought i better get them home, even though it was early. Ruby’s nose had turned pink with fun and the open air and they were both still so excited that they needed a lull, a calm, a peace, to warmly settle down to. We were skipping all the way back to the train station. I had bags full of all sorts and they both had giant rainbow slinky’s in their hands, that they had  just won on ‘Hook a duck.’

Ruby: ‘MUM! YOU’RE NOT HELPING ME HOOK IT!!!!’

Junior: ‘I can’t hooker it!!’

The streets were now the busiest streets in all the land…People bustled past, with bags of shopping galore. Leeds was now ALIVE.

The streets were filled with posh couples, teens, students, business men, hip hop clicks, buskers….families…the lot! It was MADNESS!! Delight had fizzled from the air and ‘BUSY’ had taken over. I had all the bags over my wrists, as I held the kids hands tightly and guided them through the crowds….We were gonna go to Gino’s for tea, but I just needed to get them home…

Then Ruby stopped….

Everything stopped.

It was like we had been hurtling through the crowds at a hundred miles an hour, just going with the flow of the bustle, trying to get to the end of the tunnel. She ‘emergency braked’ me.

Me: ‘What’s the matter?’

Ruby: ‘I’ve just got some change left from Hook a Duck…Shall I go give it to that guy?’

(She looks behind us to show me a gentleman, who was sat on the pavement asking for change, with an empty Greggs cup in front of him.)

Junior was already pulling his way towards the guy. (He’s a wild one is Junior. He’ll always do what he wants. Ruby…no she’s older… will always ask.)

Me: ‘Yeah! Absolutely! That’s a great idea. Let’s go see him.’

And we did. We walked back to him, with smiles and a warmth and as he looked up at us, he beamed.

‘Hi, I’m Chrissie…’

‘I’m Junior..’

‘I’m Ruby. What’s your name?’

‘I’m John.’

She looked straight into his eyes, grabbed his hand and placed £2.70 in it.

Now, the next 20 minutes of life, were the most MOVING minutes for me EVER, to the point where I actually filled up with tears  and sat down, on the pavement next to John, to chat.

During these 20 MINUTES, I was the PROUDEST MOTHER ON THIS ENTIRE EARTH. Words cannot even describe to you, how proud I was of my children. I filled up because I couldn’t express how I felt at the time. It was that overwhelming.

Me: ‘I’m sorry i’m crying.’

Ruby: ‘She never cries…’

Here’s snippets of our 20 minutes. There is the heaviest bustle on the Leeds streets. I’m not sat on the pavement with bags of shopping around me, next to John, who is homeless and Ruby and Junior are stood directly in front of him chatting to him….The moment was so magical that the city bustle blurred into the background, almost as if we were cut away in our own little bubble.

Junior: ‘Why dya need money?

John: ‘For food and to buy things that’ll keep me warm.’

Ruby: ‘Are you homeless?’

John: ‘Yes.’

Junior: ‘But why don’t you have a box?’

John: ‘Haha. Aww…I don’t have a box.’

Ruby: ‘Where have you got that bag from?’

John: ‘I bought it, with the money people gave me.. It’s got a change of clothes in it..’

Ruby: ‘Have you seen what we’ve won on Hook a Duck??’

Junior: ‘I can’t work mine.’

John, who is beaming with smiles at this point and probably one of the most eloquent speakers, I had spoken to in weeks, gently looks at Junior and puts out his hand, to see if he’d like help, with his Slinky.

John: ‘I used to have one when I was a kid. You know, if you put them at the top of the stairs, they tumble down them.’

He took Juniors hands and he showed him how to balance the slinky. They were all laughing and filled with an absolute comfort.

Junior: ‘Why don’t you just phone you’re mum? Whenever i’m in trouble. I just get my mum.’

John: ‘My Mum didn’t want me home. That’s why i’m out here. You have a lovely Mum.’

Then he began to explain homelessness to them. I watched him talk to my children and the way he told them the story was beautiful, because it was real, yet he acknowledged that they were six and four and therefore delivered it to them, in an almost ‘fairytale’ fashion. It was so moving.

They asked questions about his life, where he sleeps, how he ended up on the streets, what will make him better…all sorts… There was a dignity to John. He never felt sorry for himself. He told them the facts, then showed them the facts….

‘Watch…’

And as the children stood to one side, (and do know that my kids are used to walking into places and having everyone fuss over them,) he started to ask the busy people passing by, who were inches away from him… for change.

Junior watched EVERY SINGLE PERSON walk straight by John. He watched every single human, not even turn to look towards him. He watched grown mummies and daddies, pull their children away from him and he watched people look towards John, yet pretend he wasn’t even there.

Now, I know my son and he was astonished. He looked uncomfortable. He didn’t even know what to think? He had no clue why everyone was ignoring him. It really made him FEEL. His eyes told a story, in that moment.

Junior: ‘You’re not saying it loud enough. Look. Watch.’

And Junior starts pointing at random people and aggressively shouting,

‘MONEY PLEASE!!!! YOU! MONEY!!’

People looked…. and everyone walked on by.

The kids are now sat around him and  merrily playing with their rainbow slinkies, like the happiest children in the world.

I began talking to John. He asked me about my life and I asked him about his….

So John was newly homeless. He was clean. He was dressed normally. He used to have a full time job, that he lost because the company he worked for went under. He survived with what money he had saved, but couldn’t get another job and missed two payments of rent. The apartment complex that he used to live in…is BOUJI.

He got evicted and had to move back in with his parents. His parents are heavily religious, and didn’t agree with the way he had been living his life….so kicked him out onto the streets. They don’t speak to him. They have nothing to do with him.

Two missing pay cheques changed his LIFE.

Everyone walked past this man like he was invisible. Like he wasn’t even human, wasn’t even there. Not one person in that 20 minutes through him a penny, a look or a smile. John has a DEGREE. He’s expressive. He’s speaks so eloquently. He’s well mannered. He an intellect. He so emotionally and mentally sound that he looked at me and said,

‘Don’t worry. I’m fine. I really am. I know this city like the back of my hand. I’m just learning a new version of it. 🙂  Once I get a job. I’ll be able to turn it all around. I’ll do it. I’m not meant to be here. It’s just circumstance.’

Me: ‘You know tough times are just temporary right? And that tough people are forever…I’ve been exactly where you are! I don’t know what I can even do to help you? How will I ever find you again? Like, do you sit here often, or? I won’t even be able to contact you? I don’t even know how…’

John: ‘How did you get out of it??? Infact, I can tell you how to can help me….All I’ve been wanting to know FOR AGES and I hope you don’t mind me asking, is what time it is and what day it is…?’

Ruby: ‘John. Y’know, if you go down there a bit, there’s swings and wine and stuff…It’s Christmas…’

I pull my phone out…

Me: ‘It’s 2.49pm…and It’s Saturday. It’s November the 18th.’

He looked me directly in the eyes and HE began to fill up. That meant so much to him. It was crazy.

John: ‘I used to be so scheduled. I used to moan about it all the time. I have no clue where i’m gonna go or what i’m gonna do, but just knowing what time it is and what day it is feels good…’

That was it then…I could’ve burst into tears, but I didn’t.

Ruby: ‘Do us a video mum!!!’

Me: ‘I’m a blogger. Do you mind if we take your picture and post it…’

John: ‘Gosh, yeah, course you can. The fact that anyone would even ask to take my picture, has made me feel ten feet tall. Lol.’

(He straighten his hair a bit. 🙂 )

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The kids loved him, chatted to him more, they played with the flipping slinkies endlessly and it soon began to get really nippy. The air was cold! Really cold.

Me: ‘I’m gonna have to get the kids back home now.’

John: ‘It was lovely meeting you Chrissie.’

Me: ‘ Y’know…I walked straight past you. Ruby stopped me to and asked if she could give you change.’

John: ‘It’s what happened next that mattered….You’re such a great family.’

Junior: ‘I love you John.’

(Junior hugs him.)

Ruby: ‘Me Too’

(Ruby dives on him and hugs him too…)

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We gather up our bags and as I walk away with the babies holding onto each hand, I look back at him before I leave and simply say,

‘Look after yourself mate…’

He smiles as we walk away….

Then as life goes on, the bustle got heavier….John went back to asking for change and we managed to get caught up and rammed into a giant gang of ‘Furries’ all high fiving Junior as they passed..

Junior: ‘Whoa!!! What’s going on?? What is this place?’

Me: ‘Let’s get home kids!’

 

As some of you will know. Last night, I posted the pictures of my day on Facebook… I posted the pictures that Ruby & Junior had taken with John. I was DEFINITELY a PROUD PROUD Mum, but I didn’t think too much of posting the pics? I do it all the time…

HOLY SHIT!

All my inboxes filled up within seconds. People were making comments. My phone was ringing and this was as my website email was pinging away…MADLY.

The majority of the comments, I’d say 80 percent of them where filled with love, glistened in a positive warmth, dashed with kind words and support from my friends…

Then 10 percent of them were EVIL. I got called a ‘Bad Mum.‘ A ‘Stupid fucking mum.’ I got called an ‘Attention whore.’ I got called ‘fake.‘ I got called an ‘Idiot.’ People were really rude to me. People shouted at me online for letting my children hug a homeless person, because he was unwashed? Some people tried to turn the moment into a some kind of ‘Wunna stunt…’

And in that moment, I realized how narrow minded and judgmental people still were. It shocked me. I’m not by any means naive. I’m sassy. I didn’t think I would have to explain the actual situation to grown adults or justify it to fools. You should be ashamed of yourself for not being able to feel or see compassion. It makes you blind. It makes YOU the problem.

I didn’t at all, FOR ONE SECOND think that posting photos of Ruby & Junior hugging John would cause such an alarm? However, i’m concentrating on the positive responses, because unlike the weird 10 percent…I’m not an idiot.

So what I’ll say is that I am thoroughly grateful to all of you who stuck up for Wunna Land, voiced your opinion and showed the kids some love. They deserved it. ALL of you! It means a lot. (Kate you were awesome.) The support is always wonderful. That 80 percent of you ARE THE PERCENT that make a difference.

Chrissie x

 

 

Tom Zanetti, Dwarves & VIP Piggy Backing

It was the maddest ‘good time’ that any human could EVER have experienced, that Saturday night, as the clock struck 11pm, on Heaton’s Court, Club Mission… Leeds.

It was the More & More launch party.

People had travelled far and wide, through cities, over hills, via trains, on road trips. People had ‘donned’ out the most stylish bits of clobber, owned the widest smiles, rocked out the hottest cleavages and committed to a total head mindset of ‘party.’ 

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We wanted a ‘blow out’ and we got one!

Celebrities had tinkered from all the way over, to get there sassy little arses to Leeds that November 11th and why….I’ll tells ya why….To spend the night with our Tom Zanetti!

TEAM THOMAS! (Ya! Bitches!)

Now, Tom has shot out the ‘success cannon’ this year, with his pants on flames and his name in hottest club vibe lights. I’m from Leeds, so i’ve always known who Zanetti is. The only difference now, is that the rest of the world does too!

This is no joke.  He’s smashing it all about and then some. There’s not a single doubt in my glamour pussy mind, that this is ONLY just the beginning for him….But i’ll tell you about Tom later…Let’s take you back to the event…

So I strut up to Mission and it already has queues of guys and girls, all eagerly waiting in line. Chicks trying to catch Toms eye, as he bustled about outside for a few sexy moments. A tv camera crew followed his every move, a pap began taking photos of red carpet arrivals, a luxury car drove up the entrance to drop someone off and, security guards surrounded the entrance galore.

As I walked by the queue, with one of best guy friends Abeiku Arthur, who owns House of Solo Magazine, I heard chicks trying to strategically plan how they were going to sneak their way into the VIP. (I love that! It reminded me of when I was young girl in LA. We’d always try to sneak our way in. It was always hilarious. We’d come up with the maddest ideas. There’s was ‘Just flirt with Tom.’ Genius! Lol.)

Luckily, these days (wait for the ‘trumpet blowing‘…not that kinda ‘trumpet,’ 😉 ) simply because I own Wunna Land, via the fine art of online diary writing, jiggled with a previous modelling career and a juicy telly stint of ‘Best Pal’in’ with Paris Hilton…for ITV2….I don’t have to strategically plan a VIP entrance anymore. I just have to be there on time and grab myself a cocktail…

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Are you even wearing any pants???’

Me: ‘No. You could see them under my dress.’

(He does one of those faces of utter delight. You know the face. The face that your guy friends do when they know you’re not in any pants. *Rolls Eyes.* But honestly, who wears pants to a Tom Zanetti party? )

Me: ‘It’s actually really annoying that it’s windy because I can feel the wind gush all the way up my fluey.’

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Hahaha You’re digusting…Let’s get in there.’

On my walk up from the train station, I bump into Tom, who’s briefly organizing the crowds and he shows me through to the red carpet entrance (kinda gentlemanly, but cool) and just like that, I blink and there I was…swirled in the maddest VIP in all of the goddamn land.

It was absolutely RAMMED. It was busy. And that tells you a lot about Tom, right? Everybody wanted to show up for his night. I mean, when you’re in entertainment, you show up to events… POPULAR events, to SEE and BE SEEN.

Don’t let anybody tell you any different! We all know the score. We all do it.

OR you simply show up in support for the person or place throwing the sassy little shindig.

Like I said, he’s a really popular guy and people just adore him. I have never ever seen (and guuurrrl i have seens) A MORE buzzing VIP room in my LIFE.

I mean, let’s forget about the rest of the club, for now…as that was filling up like the world was about to end and Mission was the only safe sanctuary. But the actual VIP itself was JAM packed with famous sportsmen from Boxers to Rugby players. Hot chicks who spent their Summer on ‘Love Island.’ Charming guys from the Geordiest of Shores. Some who ‘Weekender in Ibiza’ and others who had committed to being a few hard months with ‘Big Brother.’

There were models, musicians, famous social media stars and everyone seemed to recognize everyone else in the VIP. (You kinda scan the room to see if there’s anyone you recognize.) It’s weird because even though…you haven’t actually met them in real life before, when you do, you kinda acknowledge them like you have known them for years.

Firstly, you all do the same thing, so  there’s an immediate respect that goes around from person to person.

We all know how difficult the entertainment industry is or can be..and at some point, no matter ‘what list’ your audience places you upon….what we ALL have in common, is that we’ve all had some ambitious creative dream. We all had the balls to go to an audition..and try and make that dream a reality. We all heard ‘no’s,’ but eventually *swagged* it out well enough to finally get the YES….Which placed us on your TV screen, all over the press, or be hailed as a DJ God, be placed on your favourite sports team. We’ve all worked hard and built up an audience, a brand or a career, doing something that we love.

Straight away I ordered a double gin and tonic, *air kissed* a rugby player, said ‘hi’ to some of my old friends, who I haven’t seen in ages, and then took Snapchat videos with Abeiku Arthur. I saw Jordan from ‘Ibiza Weekend’ stood talking to a Geordie Shore guy at the bar and then Charlotte Dawson sauntered in, looking like an absolute DREAM. She looks flawless. Her face was flawless. But she walked straight into the busiest VIP in all the land also, and ended up right in front of me and with the biggest smiles and a ‘hi, how are you,’ she was certainly one of my favourite sightings.

I love that girl. She’s so much fun. I definitely want to birthday go ice skating with Charlotte Dawson. (Random. But true! I do.)

Yeah, it was busy. Yeah it was rammed. We all took VIP breathers at points, just to get some air.

BUT IT WAS GREAT.

It turned BONKERS.

Dancing on tables, booze being guzzled like it was the last drop of fizzle on the Earth. TV cameras, bright lights in dark rooms, playing cards flying through the air, the craziest bustle, the loudest music, people jumping up and down, diving from wall to wall, drinks being spilled over one another, laughter, madness, clothes being ripped off…

Tom: ‘I’m boiling. It’s hot….I’m so hot…’

(Shirt flies off. People follow suit.)

Then the next minute he’s bare back, topless ‘piggy backing’ a friend, whilst being filled with laughter and ‘good times,’ models and pornstars are kissing his cheeks, his face is covered in red lipstick *kiss marks,* everyones phone was out and selfie taking for Snapchat was at it’s finest.

Then sassy masked bunnies in lingerie, casually saunter by..

It was the most bonkers time.

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It was like an urban, dance music, ‘circus’ of utter brilliant madness. The VIP was the ‘party version’ of Fight Club. Where the fighting was ‘mad partying’ and the club was in the name of Zanetti.

It was brilliant. It was so much fun. Something you have to do. A Zanetti VIP room, should absolutely be on everyones ‘Bucket List.’ There’s nothing like it…

I mean a flipping DWARF got hurled into the masses, so he could crowd surf! Hahaha. What the actual….I loved it! It was hilarious!

Just bonkers.

I looked around and scanned the room and everyone seemed like they were having the best time. It was crazy. And the good thing about it was that there were no rules. Usually… we are to say the right thing, do the right thing, meet the right people, promote the right thing. No one gave a fuck….they just enjoyed the most inappropriately fun time ever and with absolutely no censor.

The VIP rocked.

(No wonder everyone tried to sneaky peeky in.)

What I did notice about Tom…and I watch people, all people…always. He’s a nice guy…yeah…There’s a sweetness and a sophistication to him dipped in an urban ‘bouji’ twist. But he’s a really determined guy. He’s an ambitious soul. A showman. He knows what he’s doing, but he’s real. He’s down to Earth. He’s a guy who knows what he wants. Wants it his way and isn’t scared to voice his opinion. You don’t mess with Zanetti. He’s hot, right now. He’s really popular, which makes him powerful. People just want to be around him. You can’t help but feel quite ‘cool squad’ when you’re around him.

I watched him behind the bar, making sure people were being treated well. ‘WELL’ the way he seemed fit….which was with utter ‘boujiness.’ He’s an outspoken guy and he’ll tell it how it is. Everyone loves that! It must be his inner Northern…

The party went on and on, but I had to leave for the night at around 2am, simply because I had a 9.23am train to catch to London in the morning. I had an important Wunna Land PR meeting. at noon.

I got home, had an argument with an idiot taxi driver (All Yorkshire people argue with taxi drivers)  and got a few hours sleep, before waking up to my alarm, weirdly feeling ‘fresh as a daisy.’ It was almost like an evening of debauchery never even happened,

I was on a Platform 1, at Doncaster train station, ready to head to London, whilst answering inbox messages from people I met the night before…by 9am. He’s some of my messages…

‘Sorry I didn’t get the chance to chat to you last night. I recognised you, but it was just so mad.’

‘It was great meeting you last night. Let’s grab lunch some time.’

‘Babe, lovely meeting you…’

Before I left, I was sort of in this tunnel part of Mission, mixed in with a mass crowd of selfie taking. This awesome ‘swaggy’ guy in a black furry coat, kept stopping me and asking where ‘Rachel’ was…

‘Where’s Rachel?’

(I don’t even know who Rachel is??? Lol He must’ve asked me about 42 times, during the process of the entire evening.)

Abeiku Arthur was selfie taking with every boobie chick his eyes could ever see. A girl asked if she could selfie with me, but kept hating the picture, so we had to do it at least 17 times at 2am in the morning…The hot bunnies, with the evil ears, were now stood around me and chatting but then people then grabbed THEM for selfies…. and my night was over.

I tinkered out of Club Mission, in the early hours of the morning and when I did, there were STILL queues and queues of people waiting to get inside the club! (I walked straight over the red carpet like it was my Mums living room flooring. Lol.)

Leeds was on FIRE that night!

It was one of those nights, that you know you showed up at, yet because it was littered with utter madness, you can only remember things in ‘flashback form.

BUT…..a

It is one of those nights… that you’ll always always remember….and that’s what he does well!

Some of us in the VIP room, will bloom into Big BIG SUCCESS stories. Some of us will go far. Some of us will chose not to. Some of us will settled down, get married, have babies. Some of us will swirl down that merry plughole. Some of us will be remembered. Some of us will be forgotten. Some of us will make our marks more than we ever imagined we could.

But on November 11th 2017, on that Saturday night…WE ALL….under one roof, shared LIFE together, in the name of our Tom Zanetti!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Biology, Ice Rinks & Prada

I definitely sat in a room today, with each one of my girl besties and took part in what I would call a somewhat glamourous ‘biology class.’ ou would never have thought that I was the product of not ONE but TWO Doctors, as Biology, has certainly never been a forte of mine. However, now..I feel much better, because the rest of my chicks friends are even more SHOCKING, when it comes to the rules of science.

So in the group….Some of us have had babies. Some of us… have not. I noticed that the ones who haven’t quite yet produced ‘Mini Mes’, didn’t know how or where babies come from? Lol. Yes, they’re all grown twenty something adults. 🙂 Glamour Pusses, to be exact. All ambitious. All driven. All hard working.

It went a bit like this..

‘Well, they say that if you have a baby later on in life, you’re more likely to have a boy, because more girls are produced by accident.’

‘Wait! So girls are becoming extinct???’

‘No, You’re just more likely to have a boy.’

‘Yeah, but in school we learnt about the X/X chromosomes and the x/y chromosomes, which would mean…’

‘I didn’t learn that in school…’

‘Wait, so I can only get pregnant, two days of the month?’

‘It’s weird how people just fall pregnant after a one night stand…’

‘You’re period has to be regular…’

‘Well i had an ovulation app…and i lived by it…’

‘Where do babies actually come from… Like i don’t actually know??’

‘Yeah, but Double B isn’t on the pill and she…’

‘She never has sex…’

‘It’s SCIENCE! OBVS!’

Then we quit playing ‘biology,’ as we had better things to do with our time. (Surprisingly.)

Mel decided that she needed to see a Doctor and an Optician all in the space of three hours, incase she had a brain tumour.

Mel: ‘Fucking’ell. I don’t want an injection in my eye. I’m having to go to Pinders tomorrow! Is it normal for Opticians to touch you?’

Me: ‘What d’ya mean, touch you? Lol. They do get close to your face.’

Fairytale: ‘They have too!’

Mel: ‘He was fit anyway…It’s just a bit weird that…’

 

Then ‘Fairytale’ and ‘Hustle Barbie’ decided to indulge in Kurt Geiger boot drama.

Fairytale: ‘These aren’t as comfy as they were in the shop.. I just wanna go home me…’

Hustle: ‘Well yeah, because everyone else has tried them on in the shop. I just need good boot for Budapest on Saturday.’

And ‘Firmonnell,’ ….my very best chica ‘Firmonnell’…dyed her hair pink. 🙂

(Haaaaa H’HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! What an idiot!)

Nothing makes me more delighted, than the fact that she tried to dye her OWN HAIR BLOND and instead she managed to lift her pretty head up from the sink and find that it was PINK. (Well, I say pink. No. She says PINK. It’s not pink. It just glows pink from a blondish head of hair.)

‘IT’S PINK! It’s fucking PINK.’

‘It’s really not.’

‘I thought i’d just go to sleep, let the world take a turn and wake up in the morning to see if i’d like the colour. I laid in bed for about 3 minutes and like a lunatic was back in the mirror to see if it had magically changed colour. If Double B was here, she’d tell me the truth. She’d tell me that I looked like i sold…’

Moderately dramatic. Yet, I love it when she’s all drama and evil. That’s why we ALL get along. ‘Firmonnell’ and I are on a really good banter stream with each other right now. Our banter, cannot even be competed with.

Firmonell: ‘Ooh, it makes me feel so good! I can feel the evil running through…’

Me: ‘…my soul.’

Anyway, fifty little pounds later and a £90 cancelled booking, ‘Big D’ (her delightful husband, who was probably sick of her moaning) had found her a trip to a rather bouji hairdressers, to change her life ‘back to blond.’ I love ‘Big D’ for that. He scores HIGH in the ‘Husband stakes.’He’s doing EVERYTHING RIGHT, right now. Where’s my ‘Big D???’ Wait! Hahaha. That sounds so rude!

Yipppeee!!!

Then I got bored and started Googling Prada. Shoes to be exact. Not because I particularly need any. Just simply because it makes the world a safer place. We’re committing to all things that makes us happy, right? Like the mesmerizing glow of the Dior makeup stand in ALL department stores…scrolling through the Prada or Jimmy Choo website….just makes me happy.

Then our guy friend ‘Jonesez’ who definitely needs to find himself a girlfriend, decided to make loving assumptions, as he carefully strutted passed each one of us, with caution. (He’s like a thoughtful, annoying, little brother to us all. But we love him madly because he buys us sweets.)

To Fairyatle: ‘Can I have some of your lip balm? It’ll be like we’ve kissed then.’

(Reply: Why are you so weird?)

To Me: ‘Yeah. I’ll definitely go ice skating with you. It’ll be like we’re on a date.’

(Reply: It’s not a date dude.)

To Hustle: ‘I thought you said *give head* then.’

(Reply:  *BLANK*   )

He’s such a Love Bunny. He can’t even help it! He’s cute! 🙂 To be fair. He’s a nuisance. But he’s fun and probably one of the most thoughtful boys ever.  We love him really.

But away from all that. I’m really busy. I’m trying to book a stay at a Forest Cabin, for the week before Christmas. For Ruby, Junior, my Mum, Dad..you get the picture. The Wunna’s.

I’ll also have a birthday around that time. I’ll be blogging from the cabin, through that week. It’s one of my favourite places. I haven’t booked it just yet. But I’ve been chatting back and forth with Forest Holidays all day today, because the cabin that I wanted is so popular, that it’s already booked up.

Firmonnell: ‘You can’t just have people chucked out of a cabin for you. Lol.’

Me: ‘ No. I know.I’m not trying to… I just…STOP TRYING TO RAIN ON MY PARADE!! Lol.’

I’m also trying to find a place where I can ‘open air’ ice skate during the festive months? Have Millennium Square in Leeds stopped doing the open air ice skating thing or something? I wanna go with the kids. I wanna go with my friends. I need it in my life and it’s nowhere to be found?

I was under the fond misconception, that it always appeared, as soon as the whole German Market affair tinkered to light? I’m wrong! I’ve fantasized about ‘open air,’ Christmas ice skating, in Leeds. Now, my dreams are shattered. 🙂

How can I have a ‘open air’ ice skating birthday, if there isn’t anything to skate on?

‘No! I don’t want to go to an ice rink. It has to be OPEN AIR!!!!’

(Lol. I’m feeling quite high maintenance today. I’m flipping demanding cabins, Prada and ice skating rinks. It’s the girls, they’ve evoked my inner Diva.)

But yes, it’s a busy time of merriment for me, or any blogger really, right now. I’m headed into such a fun season. It’s my favourite season and it’s so much better than Summer, because there’s an emotional warmth to Christmas isn’t there?

It’s not just a bikini pout, a poolside sun lounger and a instagram pic of you and an inflatable flamingo. There’s a magic to this season. A real magic. And this magic meanders around, until every single one of us, smiles and enjoys a warm apple cider, tinsel dripped December.

It’s that ‘magic’ that makes us feel good and when we feel good…. we can conquer the world!

When I flirted with Candy Mechanics….

So Friday I went down to Trinity Leeds, after being invited to take a tinker at the new Candy Mechanics ‘Edible Selfie’ station. I’m the Queen of ‘The Seat my friends call the ‘lobster arm.’

Double B: ‘She can’t take a selfie of herself without putting one arm up into her hair.’

Firmonnell: ‘The lobster arm.’

Me: ‘I don’t look like a lobster. Lol. I can’t help it. The phone whops out, the arm goes up. It’s life. You’ll all be doing it.’

Double B: ‘Does the carpet match the curtains?’

Me: ‘What’s that got to do with anything? Haha. And Yeah! I’m not a secret ginger…’

Double B: ‘I just didn’t know if when you took a selfie, but  of your vagina, if it had a weave on also…?’

Firmonnell: ‘….and an amazing lobster arm that protrudes out from underneath , to take it’s official position for the photo?’

Hahaha. Why do I have shit friends!!!

To be honest…they’re amazing. Your BEST friends. Your favourites.. are always the ones where in which you can commit to nonsense banter and take a bit of roasting. I mean, Firmonnell and I listened to ‘Hustle Barbie’ randomly sing a chant, about boobs at us, on Thursday afternoon.

It was really creative…it went like this..

‘Titties! Titties! Titties! Titties.’ 🙂

( It was so funny at the time, that we cried. I obviously can’t tell you why it was so funny because we’d get into trouble. But we were talking about sex and ham. 😉 )

But anyway…on Friday I tinkered into Leeds city centre. My favourite of favourites. And yes, I went try out the ‘Edible Selfie’ Station by Candy Mechanics, that has currently opened in Trinity Leeds.

The whole magical concept of Candy Mechanics , swirls the delicious art of old school confectionery into the modern time, where all things ‘social’ take the lead.

(I love ALL BRANDS that take something ‘old school’ and meander it to the sound of a ‘modern day twist.’ Kinda like this blog. The art of the written words and ‘diary keeping’ has been going on for centuries…This is the exact same thing, but with a modern day twist…and it’s now one of the most read blogs in Britain, in its niche and I like to think, i’ve made ‘diary keeping’ cool. Lol)

So I arrived at Trinity Leeds, in my white faux fur and my eyes filled with glee, ready to tinker my kitten self into a world of magical sweet treat. I find myself stood infront of what is practically the most glamourously modern, ‘Edible Selfie’ station in all the land. It’s surrounded by bustle, life, creative energy and grand, well lit window boxes, honouring your face in chocolate lollipop form.  They rotate around like glorious trophies…Almost like a chocolate Oscar.

Caz the PR girl was there. Sassy, fun and informative…and she introduces me to everyone, who have worked all night to make this launch as amazing as it can be. (I appreciate hard work. Things are never as easy as they seem.) There’s another blogger in before me…So whilst she’s doing her do…I’m filling my Snapchat and Facebook newsfeed with the wonder of my personal experience.

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Now, as you know. I like the story of the moment, the behind the scenes, the ‘how you got to your glory,’ tale. I’m inspired by those stories, so I never just want to know about the product…I want to know how someone got there. The hardship.

What I can tell you is that the owner of the company, the creator (who you can see on my pics) came up with the idea, as part of his dissertation at Uni. He handed in a piece of work, yet because he was (and still is) dyslexic, instead of typing the word ‘LIKEABLE,’ he made a spelling mistake and accidentally typed the word ‘LICKABLE.’ It was a big joke in Uni, but his Tutor told him to go with it…

He did…

Two years later, he is now the PROUD OWNER of Candy Mechanics, which is taking over the nation by storm, as one of the most innovative sweet treat concepts of our time. He’s created a bespoke online service and new POP UP Stations across the UK..Not only are they even on tour right now, but he is currently being hailed as one of the finest confectioners in the nation and the Britain’s social ‘Willy Wonka.’

He was there to meet me…and unlike most CEO’s he was working at the station, just like the rest of them. He sat me down infront of a GIANT selfie screen, that resembled an iphone screen, to my right was the rotating gloriously lit ‘Chocolate Trophy’ stand and with a..

‘Stay still. I’m just gonna scan your image.’

He raised a very modern looking appliance around my face, slooooooooooooooowly. It was almost like a work of art. Then just like that, a giant 3D computerised, moving image of my head, my actual selfie, materialised in the GIANT SCREEN. Now, this wasn’t just any old picture of my face. My had had now been turned into 3D chocolate and I could use the TOUCHSCREEN to move it around, choose what flavour I wanted to me and make sure I was happy with the product. The experience of it all was DIVINE. It was modern, glamourous and….well I just felt so trendy and important when I was going through the process of it all. Lol

Then, to the left, a white chocolate lollipop, which was in a half globe shape was placed into a glass box, that had the most hardcore technical machinery fitted into it. These machines, the candy robots, are so precise that they are usually used to cut through wood and brick….all sorts. They are that DRAMATIC. He has used the machinery to carve his delicate selfies into chocolate lollipops. The temperature of the machine is monitored, as obviously unlike wood, chocolate melts in seconds under such heat…and THE SPEED of the drill is monitored.

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‘You need to speed it up for the next one…’

…I heard him state to the chocolate mechanics.  (I love that.)

Now, I stood and watched a globe of luxury white Belgian chocolate (yes, it’s luxury chocolate, not rubbish ‘run of the mill’ type silliness and because the owner used to work for Green & Blacks & Marks & Spencers, in product and taste development) slowly, yet efficiently be gracefully carved into my face. I cannot even describe to  you HOW THERAPEUTIC, it was watching that drill, almost scientifically dance and flirt with the art of confectionery carving. It was mesmerizing. I was enthralled by it all. It was better than sex.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. The art had lulled me in. People stopped by to watch the process and adored it so much, they sat down and began their chocolate selfie moment. It’s crazy how you slowly start seeing your face appear in the chocolate…as it’s brought to life. It’s magic. It’s beautiful.

Straight after the carving…my Selfie Lollipop was then passed to the ‘Gold Duster,’ where just that occurred. My 3D lollipop of my face, was taken by hand and again, like it was the most precious piece of confectionery in all the land, it was dusted over in edible gold dust.

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Once it was dusted, they handed it to me to take a look at and to selfie with and I was astonished at how fantastic the entire process was, to produce such a cute little luxury lolly of my own face. My own head! A lot of work goes into it and it’s addictive. I already need to go again and will be taking both Ruby and Junior next Saturday to go have THEIR faces turned into chocolate lollipops…

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I selfied with mine and Snapchatted the whole thing. It was such a remarkable experience and it’s bizarre because it takes you back to feeling like you’re a kid again…But Willy Wonka has designed a lollipop, of YOU. YES YOU! I beamed with delight. There was distinct glow to my kitty smile.

It’s the most modern treat. The most delicate gift and the most magical experience that I have ever taken part in. Words don’t even do it justice, as you’re very much a PART of this creative process. Like I said, I’ll be going back there this Saturday with my babies, simply so they can experience it to. This is one of the most trendiest gifts or i’d say ‘Thank yous’ that you can give someone this Christmas.

I walked away from the Candy Mechanics air clicking my heels with glee. I kept showing everyone my lolly and treasuring it like the world had created a Masterpiece. Lol.

Then because I was in such a good mood…I thought fuck it…

I missed my next train, flung my kitten bag over my shoulder and merrily strutted through the busy, city streets of Leeds. It was around 2pm. I popped my head up. I smiled and then I pushed through the gloriously glass doors  revolving doors to (as you know) one of my favourite daytime *haunts* in Leeds…Gino D’Acampo’s.

 

Sunday Tittle Tattle & Gifts…

It’s the most beautiful day in Yorkshire today. The air is crisp, the sun is out, the birds are chirping, there’s a gentle breeze meandering across the fields, through the cities…So, it’s a total shame that I’m feeling a bit rough. I’m only a bit rough. Not mega rough. If I was mega rough, I would’ve had to surrender to my flamingo bed sheets all day and beg for ice lollies. (Ice lollies and cups of tea, are my favourite hang over cures. My second favourite hang over cure is obviously a cocktail. The ‘Hair of the Dog’ really works. However, today….it’s not my choice of mixer.)

Yesterday was fabulous. Ruby and I tinkered to Doncaster, as you may well know, to select our favourite Christmas gift choices at Debenhams. It’s definitely for a blog that will come out later, where I’ll be showing you some of our favourite things.. closer to the festive season. But honestly, I was bamboozled by the distinct glow of fabulosity. Such great choices. I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a December birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I love gift buying. Yet, I’m either a quirky gift purchaser or a LUXURY GIFT purchaser. Meaning you could receive anything from a sassy bit of Gucci, to an Inflatable crown, just so you can be a ‘Queen for the Day.’Lol. Depends on how i’m feeling, at the time?

We came back with all sorts. Ceramic ‘Posh Shot’ cups, Chocolate fountains, Parrot Party Bottle openers, a range of jewellery, crepe makers, bath bombs, bouji this, silly that….Handcrafted Reborn Dolls (which retail for the bargain price of £99, per doll. I KNOW! Craziness. How can a dolly be that much!) So, I’m looking forward to showing you what Wunna Land gift choices we made at Debenhams. You should never let my first born, my Mother and I lose around your store, any store…we will want EVERYTHING. It’s like placing the most spendy people in one place and throwing them a ‘cold hard cash’ bone. Junior’s been at his Dad’s all weekend and we’ve all missed him so madly. He would’ve LOVED the merriment.

Mum: ‘So what’s Junior doing then?’

Me: ‘He’s got a family birthday or something with Keirans sister and then he’ll have a Sunday of religious paradise stuff…’

Mum: ‘Paradise?’

Me: ‘. Shit. I forgot to tell you. Keiran gave me a Bible and told me that if I wanted to go to Paradise when I die, I had to become a Jehovah’s Witness.’

Mum: ‘Where’s his Paradise? Ibiza? 😉 ‘

Then we continued choosing gifts. (Keiran and my Mum, do not get on! You have never seen two head *butt* so much.)

‘I really like those rose gold Prosecco bottles.. As if it comes with a bell. GIVE ME BOOZE NOW. Tinkle. Tinkle.’

I have literally had THE BEST family weekend. It’s been great and I haven’t seen Ruby as happy as she is right now, in a really long time. She was giddy with excitement. Her eyes lit up with life.

Yesterday, we met a load of people and it felt really great to feel like we had such support. I have more support than I ever thought? I love nothing more, than people stopping me to tell me that they’ve read the blog or love the blog. They talk about their favourite entry. They remember everything. It’s impressive. It’s actually funny because they tell ME the story, with excitement, like I might not remember it. J I lived it. It’s my life. I know the story. Lol. I wrote the story. I was there.  I mean yesterday a girl was asking me about ‘Hustle Barbie’ and our night out at Issho…and as I was chatting to her about it, I guess I said ‘Hustle’s’ actual name…because I would. I mean, they are real people in my life and I do call them by their real names… in real life. Lol.  Anyway, she was so shocked.

Girl: ‘Oh God. Is that her actual name?’

Me: ‘What? Oh! Yeah. Lol. Infact, she sent me a Snapchat of her boyfriend’s bum, whilst he was cooking her a Vegan curry, the other night.’

Girl: ‘Does he have a good bum?’

Me: ‘Yes. Lol. It looked like a peach, wrapped in tight grey jogging bottoms. I told her that I would never let her leave that bum. It’s just too good a bum.’

It all makes me smile and I guess it’s because the blog  means so much to me. I’ve written this diary for over a decade now. I didn’t really think it would become ‘A THING.’ I hoped that it would. I just didn’t think too much of it. I simply got on with it.

I love to write. I love to tell my story. I love to inspire. I love it when you all send me stories about your own life. I think EVERYONE’S LIFE is important and if more and more people could celebrate their own existence, tell their own story, or even write a diary or blog as therapy…To me, that would be WONDERUL. Infact, it would be WUNNAFUL.

I’m currently in talks with some great people right now, where I’ll hopefully be starting a campaign in the Spring of next year to encourage those, be you young, old, happy, sassy, quiet, successful, down trodden, or troubled, to keep a diary. It changed my LIFE.

So, I’m going to be encouraging more people to express and tell the story of their own day to day life, be it privately or publicly, in order to build internal strength, inspire others, or just have something to look back on and read, in the years to come. It’s YOUR STORY. Everyone has a voice. Sometimes we think people aren’t listening. But they are. Sometimes, we need to listen to ourselves. Writing things out, helps that. You can rewatch something as a third party. I’m someone that wants everyone to use their voice proudly. So yeah, hopefully that will all work out.

Anyway, where was I?

Ruby and I ended up heading over to Ego for a Lemonade and..well I ordered a Pina Colada. As my mum dropped us off, my phone flashed and it was Pete (Rubs Dad) just checking in to see if Ruby wanted to hang out with him?

I asked her and she simply said,

‘Yeah, why doesn’t he meet us for drinks.’

So as we waited for Pete to arrive, Ruby and I sat back, on a candle lit table, which was appropriately placed right infront of a GIANT MIRROR. And as we chatted about life, she beamed and threw her head back in utter laughter. As a parent, when you see that, you glow don’t you? She kept doing all these ‘swaggy’ impressions  of me, with a DIVA finger tut and head titters. Whenever she does an impression of me, she always does it with an American Accent? All she kept saying was,

‘Yo, Baby Boo. You can sit with us. Ha…Ha’Haaaaaa.’

For some reason, it cracked us both up and we were in lemonade and Pina Colada, candlelit stitches. We even forgot that we were at Ego. We must’ve been the loudest humans in all the land. But when ‘loud’ is laughter, it’s always great. 😉

Ruby: ‘You’re my best friend Mum.’

Then Pete showed up..

Pete: ‘Now, i’m here. I might get a table. I kinda want eat? Do you?’

Me: ‘We can sit and get something, yeah.’

Ruby: ‘Yeah, I wanna eat.’

(I didn’t eat and just drank, because I can’t do both at the same time.)

But it was nice to have a late afternoon family dinner. Like I always say, we ‘co parent’ really well, because it’s important to us, that the kids are happy. I’m really lucky in this respect. It’s great that we can go through everything we went through, not be together, yet still have dinner out, with our little girl… happily…And the same goes for Junior….It’s a blessing!

I can’t remember what they ate, now? But we just listened to Ruby chat about life. I chatted about my own life. Pete chatted about the drinks and dinner he had at ‘Neighbourhood’ recently (which has newly opened in Leeds.)

Me: ‘Was the food good?’

Pete: ‘Yeah but it was pricey. It’s really pricey.’

Me: ‘There’s so much going on in Leeds, right now. It’s so bouji! Everything’s turned so glamourous. I’m loving it’

The other week, someone I know, had never been to Leeds, but had heard that it was really rough. Oh my GOSH. No. Right now, it’s all Louis Vuttion, glammy cocktail bars, fine dining and heels. It’s the opposite to rough. We’re just Yorkshire. 😉 You don’t mess with anyone from Yorkshire. Lol.

Then day became night and I soon ventured home. Ruby went to her Dad’s to chill with him for an hour and then came home to sleep with Mama.

Great Weekend. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive. I am the luckiest girl alive.

Monday, starts tomorrow…..

Oh my God! As if Ronnie (one of my closest LA besties, he’s also a celebrity chef out in LA, had his own show, has just cooked for Gwyneth Paltrow.) He’s just messaged me, saying he’s gonna be in London in December and wants to see me! SO EXCITED! Let me go chat to him.

Fyi/My Shocking phone call, from my ‘Shocking Phone call’ blog has now started to wind me up. lol. I’m annoyed now for no reason. Lol

Hollywood Flashbacks, Swirls & Life

I’m feeling quite wonderful. Everything in my life right now, at thirty six is changing… and believe it or not…. for the absolute better. I’m growing up. No, that’s the wrong way to put it. I’ve grown up. And as the world is following my entire existence online via this diary. I can honestly say that I’ve never ever felt more together, more comfortable, more positive and kinda like the girl..the woman, that i always wanted to be. It took a long time…but for the first time, in that ‘long time,’ I can look back on my life. Look at everything i’ve tinkered in and tonkered with and actually SEE how far i’ve come, how much i’ve developed and how proud I am of the person I am today. I’m finding my ‘happy place.’ No.I’ve found my ‘happy place.’ And just to know that I’ve fought all the fights. I’ve danced with all the danger. I’ve lived. I’ve loved. I’ve been thrown down the ‘life stairs’ a million times over. Every time, I got back up. Even when I didn’t think I could. And every time I did, I took a deep breathe and marched forward (glamorously ofcourse 😉 ) with all the hope, all the faith and a smile on my face that knew everything, no matter WHAT, was going to be okay.

I’ve literally woken up all over the world and gone through the exact little procedure each time. I’ve worked so hard. I’ve loved and had my kitten heart broken over and over again. I’ve won some. I’ve lost some. But I’ve enjoyed every single little piece of my life so far. I’ve been thankful for it. Even the shit bits.

I’ve achieved so much, yet at the same time conquered all the rubbish that comes with the ‘ouchy’ parts. The parts of life, when the rug just gets pulled from under you, without warning and when you still have a prosecco in your hand. It made me who I am today. It made me mates with life. Best mates. And today in return, because of the friendship i’ve had with life, it kinda decided to cut me some slack.

So today, i’m gonna tell you, that you can be whoever you want to be, if you just make mates with life. It doesn’t matter how easy or hard you have it. See it. Believe. Make it yours.

It’s bizarre that i’m being so preachy, as my day started off hilariously. I sent ‘the swirl’ my usual morning message. I do every morning to wish him love. If I love or care about someone, it’s important for me, to make sure I tell them every day. Anything can happen. So i make sure the people I appreciate, KNOW that I do.

Anyway, I had texted out these really rubbish arrows as pointers with the words ‘this much’ typed between them. He replied with a..

‘Just that much. Haha.’

🙂

The rest of the conversation went…

‘Don’t get me started, you know what i’m like. I’ll end up sending you a truck load of dwarves dressed as Cupid, with I LOVE YOU tattooed on them.’

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ll go for it with ‘skin to the wind.’ I’m embarrassing on every level. But to me, things are perfect with ‘The Swirl.’ He’s just…well, I think he’s wonderful. I can’t stop thinking he’s wonderful…and that… on it’s own… is just so great. He makes my soul smile.

Then Mel sent me a group whatsapp picture of her giant bum bruise. She fell over the other night at the bar, stone cold sober, because the building was apparently made dodgily. Lol.

‘Those bloody steps at ABA.’

Hustle Barbie graced my world with a ‘Sandy from Grease’ wig. It arrived via post at around 10am and just chilled by her side like some creepy pet.

 ‘Alex said I look more like Margaret Thatcher.’

‘You look like Lily Savage.’

Then ‘Lady Shizzle’ informed us that she too was headed to a fancy dress party….as a..what’s it called? Those chicks that you see serving beer at the Bierkeller. Lol.

I don’t know where all these flipping ‘Fancy dress’ parties are coming from?

Me: ‘That’s fine. You all go to your parties. I’ll just show up at Firmonnells in fancy dress for kicks on a Saturday night.’

Firmonnell: ‘You need to do that. I have friends over Saturday night. I’ll text them all and make them all come in Fancy dress. Lol’

I do adore a bit of dress up. But I only really ever shimmied out a fancy dress number, in LA. And when I did, I was only ever a slutty cave girl or a belly dancer? So odd?

*FLASHBACK*

Remember the time I told you that I saved Gay Brandon’s life, after climbing to the top of a West Holywood apartment ROOF, DRESSED in my full slutty cave girl attire and WITH A FUCKING MANGO MARGARITA IN MY HAND. I properly saved his life. I really did!! He didn’t even want to live, until I showed up on that merry rooftop…to chill with him, under the stars…with my cocktail banter and stream of life lessons. Everyone was just sort of muddling around being worried. Understandably, ofcourse. I mean, they weren’t TOO worried. Let’s face it. It was Hollywood. We all had auditions ad early shoots we had to get to in the morning.

I don’t even know what came over me, but i just took it upon myself to go save him. Lol. Half way up, I was like…‘Ewww, I should just leave him up there.’ Haha. Great friend! But once you’ve tried to play ‘hero,’ you’ve just godda with it, don’t you…

Me: ‘You don’t really want to jump off this roof, do ya? Let’s just sit, have a drink, have a chat and well…if you do jump, i’m not coming with you. I’m at Warner Bros at 8.30am. Hahaha.’

Brandon: ‘Thank God your here. I’ve missed your face. I knew you’d come up. You’re stupid like that.’

Me: ‘Are you jumping because you’re gay, troubled, or sick of LA?’

Brandon: ‘Lol…because I don’t know who I am or what I am anymore? And I might even be BI?’

Me: ‘Oh, so you like girls AND guys. Cool. Great news. Can we go back down now…. And don’t be dramatic over the sick of LA thing. We’re all sick of it here, but we’re living it to the world like we love it…cos that’s what we do. We’re entertainers. Get off my drink.’

I don’t know why I went on that tangent? Brandon and I are still really good friends to this day. I remember that moment so vividly. I guess being a 20 something Angeleno wasn’t all it was cracked up to be at times. To be honest. I actually loved it. You could say i was made for it. Not because i was oh so ‘Hollywood.’ I was always a little girl from Yorkshire who had moved to the City of Angels, young..with nothing but an eye for stardom and a suitcase. I was made for that town because I was tough. Emotionally tough. I thank Hollywood for everything, because it sort of turned me into a solid adult.

I can’t even describe how great I feel today. I’m loving this blog, I’m whirled in opportunity, I’m loving being a mum, my love life isn’t rubbish, work is great, I’m settling in and settling down. I’m loving being a grown up. I look forward to being a wife one day, building a bigger family, feeling fulfilled and being happy. I’m counting all my blessings as they’re tinkering in and i couldn’t be more grateful for them.

Today I feel unstoppable.

So each time you fall…please promise me that you will AT LEAST TRY to get back up…..

 

 

 

 

 

Quick Stop Banter

Me: ‘So I haven’t seen you all in ages, what’s the gossip?’

The Girls: ‘Ermmm….No, no gossip, it’s been boring. We’ve missed you.’

‘So, nothing AT ALL has happened? Nothing exciting?’

‘No.’

I mean JEEPERS, we might has well all start painting ourselves grey and bumping into ourselves like Lemmings after a late afternoon carb overload.

Luckily, I can find excitement and juice in ANYTHING. Annnnnythiiing!!! I can find the good or the silver lining in MOST SITUATIONS…and slowly but surely, it all came tinkering out…

So yeah, nothing exciting happened to my girl besties (do know that I have actually had the most exciting time, whilst i’ve been gone,) HOWEVER…they forgot to tell me that Lady Shizzle had been proposed to and someone was now a lesbian. Surely that’s exciting news? I mean, that’s not everyday shit. Lol. Well the ‘proposed to’ bits are. In the last 2 weeks, three of my friends have been proposed to or have proposed to their piece of ‘heart.’

Me: ‘Proposals are so much nicer than wedding days, (I say from experience ;), because there’s a flutter to them, it’s always a surprise, whereas weddings have been planned for months and months and months…it’s a ball ache.’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Well if you and Lady Shizzle can have three weddings, Fairytale and I can at least have one.’

Me: Don’t be making fun of our three weddings! Lol’

Fairytale Blond: *Just puts her bare ring finger in the air and ways it like it’s sad, with her bottom lip out.*

Then things kicked in a little and we stopped being boring, as we discussed Bavarian outfits that need to be made sluttier and the executive psychological topic of ‘why men or people in general are arrogant or cocky.’

We came up with the theory that the more insecure you are, the cockier you are…as arrogance is used as a mask to protect your tender soul or the way you feel about yourself. It’s not a bad thing. As when I was at my cockiest, this was when I was young…WAY BEFORE LA….I was at my most insecure, so it’s true. It’s human nature. Now that i’m older, I’ve glowed with this confidence…this happiness…LA actually brought that out in me. I experienced a lot. Yet I can always relate to people and understand why they do things. I find the art of ‘understanding humans‘ sexy.

A  lot of you are tuning into the blog right now, as I set myself up for a big next year.This is my ‘working’ year. I always say, a lot is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land. This time around i’m confident and it feels real. Am I cocky…yeah a bit…yet again thats the tiny line of inner insecurity I have, when it comes to success which powers me forward. On the whole, i’m pretty good at being warm, positive and just flipping normal under really surreal circumstances.

Anyway, i got distracted…but yes, a lot of people around the world are checking into Wunna land, and I said that I would give ‘Weston’ in Blantyre, Malawi a happy shoutout and then tell the dude from Belgrade in Serbia, to quit sending me daily messages that simply read ‘HORNY.’

It’s bizarre? I mean, what does he think i’m honestly going to do or say? Lol. It takes a lot more than that to try and pull my Sassy ass…I don’t want to give your ‘diddly doo’ a ‘diddly dum,’ after a command. I’m a glamour puss. I’m not your glamour puss and you should start conversations with women in the future that begin with a simple ‘Hi…’ (before telling her how amazing she is.) Unlike David, who told ‘Fairytale’ that she had really shit hair.

I’m a girl with a sexy disposition, who always wants to find true affection in a man. Told ya…my love life is not rubbish right now. I’m beaming…

Anyway, I’ve got to go…Sorry it was just a quickie

Love you lots.

Thank you for following my life and being part of it.

I’m looking forward to my ‘tomorrow.’

 

 

 

Love, Gin & Learning Things The Hard Way

I had gin last night, after watching the back of a bald man’s head for a while, during the afternoon, during a moment of ‘by myself’ chill. (I love a ‘by myself’ chill.) Not sure why I was so mesmerized by the back of his really bald head? I just like the way it folded and wiggled whenever I looked up, from Googling myself. 😉 Went well with a rhubarb gin and tonic…It sort of added humour and stability to a moderately emotional time. 🙂

Yesterday was both busy and chilled. I had an amazing time with Ruby & Junior, we played, we lunched, we loved. I knew that Junior had a great day, simply because whenever he does and I lay him to sleep at night, he always wraps himself around me, cuddles me in bed and whispers…

‘I love you mum. I love you so much.’

(I’ve trained him well. 😉  Hair toss, wink.)

Love matters to me. Love matters to me massively. It does to everyone, even when they don’t believe it does. It’s weird because i’m always confident when it comes to love and i’m really comfortable in my own glitzy skin….Yet, I crave love, but only the true kind, so when it comes along, I always want to treasure it and save it forever.

Some people see that as lame.  I see it as beautiful.

Gin was great last night. I managed to have chitters with my old school friend Kate who switched us to wine. Yet, the reason why it was all so great was because after such a great day, I really really thought about everything. I’m a passionate girl, but an expressive one and sometimes I don’t express as well I should. I get scared to, And no one should feel scared to express. It’s our life, we have one shot…and we’ve got to do it boldy.

So, I expressed yesterday evening, after a really great day, after a couple of good gin and tonics and really chilled times and the thing about my expression was that it was true, it was honest, it was loving, but most of all, it was Me. When it comes to ‘things’ or situations…and when something matters to you deeply, i always think that it’s really important that you’re able to just say how you feel and when you do, whether it’s been listened to or not (and usually if you’re honest, people DO listen) you feel liberated. I felt liberated and today as I woke up and look down at my phone everything felt like bliss. I felt like I had a best friend, who just gets it.

It made me really productive actually. I’m powered my humour, good times and true love. That’s where i get my energy from..and tequila. (Loved the West Hollywood Tequila dance that I used to do probably about 10 years ago now. Hate that I cried afterward because this dude named Ryan didn’t care about me. But loved that drag queen carried me home, like i was a Queen. Lol)

But yes, i’ve got a lot of things going on in work and it’s making me pretend that the little niggly things don’t matter. I don’t like the little niggly things. I leave them and they accumulate and then they terrify me because i’ve left myself a mountain to sort through. Like voicemails. I HATE going through my voicemails, unless they’re all ‘good news’ calls. My emails…this morning I had 79,329 to go through, that I had let accumulate. By noon, I had gone through them all…and now my inbox is chilling at 0. YEAH BABY! (This is why I’ve always said that I need to marry a really organised male, one that’s good at the niggly things. The things that demand organisation. Lol. The big things i can conquer with panache and glamourousity. I’m ace at the big things. I’ve been married three time and people always always message me asking me about my love life. The most common question from women, that I receive weekly is one that asks me if i would ever marry again. And GOD, ABSOLUTELY. But only if the guy was RIGHT! I’m not just gonna high kick gleefully down the isle to anyone. Lol. (I’ve done that before. 😉 )

I believe in love (i’m a sucker for it) and yeah, I’ve shared some interesting chapters, that didn’t quite fit. Yet it doesn’t EVER make me feel as though I couldn’t do it again. The great thing is, this time, i’ll get it right. I’m not someone who doesn’t KNOW what I want or what i’m looking or. That’s sexy in itself. I tend to learn the hard way, which to me, is always the BEST way. Nothing like a bit of good old raw experience. Beats the ‘Once Upon Time’ books.

(My good friend Inadequate Chris is just messaging. Remember weeks ago, before I did Ginos, i wrote a blog about his love life…well I was right. He has just waved ‘good bye’ to a 9 year relationship, that maybe wasn’t right anymore for both parties and well, it’s been tough, but he is happily moving forward. Y’see, to me, that 9 years was simply a young chapter and it’s what you do when you’re a grown up that makes impact, because as grown ups, we think wisely and know how to love properly. There’s a stability to us oldies. It great. It’s sexy. Nine years isn’t that long when you have a hopeful 100 years to do love in. Yes, we all hope to get it right the first time, but if you haven’t and in the past I haven’t….obviously….I’ve been hilarious and half of you have followed it through the decades. Do know that it’s right around the corner and that guy or that girl who makes you feel utterly COMPLETE…will find you and adore you…forever. )

But away from my preachy keeness, WUNNA LAND is WONDERFUL right now. I’m working hard, i’m making things happen, i’m feeling really lucky and really positive. All areas are fantastic. I even have to pinch myself to believe it’s true. It’s almost like a dysfunctional Cinderella Story. There’s a lot going on and yes, as always with work, i’m unable to wink it out there, until it’s time. However, it kinda feels like i’m BACK. (Well en route anyway, my Uber must have been delayed. 🙂 )

In sat in the Mallard in Doncaster blogging this…and two lesbians are talking about dildos infront of their children. Lol. I’m also looking at a picture of Jeremy Clarkson, because they have framed photos of people who grew up in Doncaster, who became stars…On and cycling is on the telly.

I’m off now to do a prosecco and buy hair.

FILL UP ON GOOD TIMES….

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Fabulous Glittery Madness

‘Right! You two are gonna have to be straight now and look after me. I’m taking NO responsibility for getting back to this train station by 10pm. You have to get me here, in one piece, if you want me to come play drinking with you!’

And my two delicious gays, Liam and Lee looked after me like Kings! They were GREAT! They cared for me. They molly coddled me. They made sure I was okay every little stiletto tapper of the way…..and we had a BLAST! I had been refusing to go out around Soho after dinner, in need to get home. Yet, with a ..

‘Chrissie, it’s only 7.13pm!!! You’ve got ages!’

I ended up going….But fuck it. Liam had a show to shoot in th emorning. I had just come out of a great business meeting. Lee, is on the Westend and has just finished being the main in the Lion King. We had had cocktails, posh scampi and naughty looking pork scratching. And you only live once..

PLUS….

Soho is my old haunt. When I lived in London, I was literally out on the Soho glitter cobbles EVERY NIGHT! I was just off the Paris Hilton Show and everyone adored me, but i had started dating this Boyband guy…If you go back into my archives (via the search bar) his named was ‘Boyband Jonny.’ Anyway, he always wanted to go out because he was young…and we’d do a lot of normal straight bars…but I did notice that he ALWAYS wanted to every gay bar in all the land.

Liam, Lee and I…after we tap danced the time step on the tube…(I can totally tap dance incase you didn’t know…and in heels) found ourselves tinkering to G.A.Y…which is where Boyband Jonny and I would always go…every night. Big Brother Mark Byron used to be the ‘handing out flyers guy’ outside. Even then and because I was so trusting…I didn’t even think that Boyband Jonny might actually be gay? Lol. I mean GOD!!! We were in G.A.Y every night for crying out loud!!

THE CLUE IS IN THE TITLE!!

But we’re great now and he’s all gay and lovely…and certainly states that I broke his heart. I didn’t. I just got bored of being treated badly. I love those moments when us girls suddenly get all clued up and we grow ten feet tall and march forward. Were invincible at the point and beam because we’ve managed to remember that we’re utterly of worth!

Anyway, the best night was had! Yes! I’m far too old to be staying out with the Gays and partying. I’m not used to it. But loved it. We shouted out on the busy streets of London. We danced on the cobbles, in the open airs, singing out Pop songs.

‘If i could sing. I’d be a star. I’d be Rihanna!’ Lol’

We ‘West Side Story’ leaped and finger snapped our way through traffic, whilst selfie taking with the crowds and laughing out loud at our snapchats. We danced in bars…drank…swirled with Drag Queens…and drank….we lived, we loved, we played ‘cheeky’ with security…and we drank, drank, drank,

This security guard kept telling me off and whenever he did i’d snapchat him. Lol. He wasn’t grumpy. Yet one minute he’d be telling me off and the next saying that I looked like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls and asking to take me home.

DUDE! Girls like me have TRAINS TO CATCH.

Liam, Lee and I swirled our magic, around a glitter mess of fabulosity.

‘I haven’t had this much fun in ages..’

And just as the boys promised….even when they were moderately pissed. They got me to the tube station…LORD KNOWS HOW! I was battered. Glamourously battered ofcourse. Definitely felt ill. But was still beaming.

Liam stayed out. HAHAHAHA! Happy 8am filming! And Lee had a singing show thing to get to by 11am. Where he was performing! Lol.

I got on that 10pm train. I might have been sick.I can’t remember. Liam might have also puked in his hotel room. Infact all my friend across the lands were doing sicks. Double B said she puked into a cup whilst driving around a roundabout. Her distant cousin Double D puked in someones bed? No…wait. He puked from drinking and woke up in someones bed…some girls bed…he was woke up by the sound of a baby! 🙂

The great thing is that I had lots of London fun. (Even though I have annoying London friends, who are moaning that I didn’t get time to see them. I was working..and well if you don’t ask to see me, then obviously you won’t. Lol. Why do people wait in the wings? It’s dull. So much happens in my life that you have to catch me when you’ve got my attention…or strike when the irons….gin. 🙂 )

However, yes, best time ever. Great catch up. Great business meeting…but knackered. It was fabulous because it made me remember how much I adore to chill!

So right! Everything in Wunna land is all about taking care of myself now. Don’t worry i’m not going to go nuts. I’m just gonna eat better, drink less…smile more…and all that good old jiggery. Get fitter. Chill! And not really stress.

I’m gonna love! I feel all inspired and fancy inspiring. Stay focused on what you want to do. Do it well…the people that adore you will always be around. They’ll stand by you and cheer you on!

And i have nothing to lose…:)

Enjoy this absolutely GORGEOUS WEATHER!

ps/ My love goes out to all of those involved in the Manchester explosions. That came as a shock! Hope everyone is safe!

 

 

 

When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x