All the F****

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PR: ‘I don’t know what the F*** you think you’re doing, with this whole impromptu *win a date for a dare* thing?  Lol…You can’t just go around doing his dares, if they aren’t….’

ME: ‘It’s fun! It just happened by accident on my *Ask Me Anything.* Don’t blame me! Blame Insta! Haha. He hasn’t done it yet! So far, it’s just banter. Relax.’

PR: ‘If he wins a date…’

Me: ‘He probably will, as I’d rather have a couple rums, than subject myself to disturbing Tom Foolery.’

PR: ‘Stop, fucking talking over me. Haha. If he wins a date…You’re taking security. You don’t even know him. I’m coming too.’

Me: ‘Ugh. It’s not a PR operation. *Oh! Hi, Winner! Meet my PR & this giant mountain of a man, who will head butt you, if you annoy me…Romance is alive.’ 

PR: ‘Does it look like he’s gonna do it?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He looks tattooey. He even sent me a picture of what he’s thinking about getting done! He looks like he gets inked every 2 weeks… 🙂 🙂 🙂 ‘

And with a roll of her eyes and wiggle from Wunna Land, laughter filled the room, after a three second *pause* of fear and worry.

People worry too much.

Don’t!! It’s STICKY.

I’m an adventurer. I’m a life spirit. Even though i’m much more sensible and tame in my old age…The flirty 30’s. The wild streak, is just something, you can’t scrub off with a loofah. No matter how hard to scrubble.

It’s these moments that bring ‘magic,’ back to your life. It’ll be a memory. A forever, memory! Plus, I think he SHOULD get rewarded for being so bold. Being so fun! I’m grateful for people like him.

I love excitement. I live for it….Of course, with a side of love and a ‘swing’ of a great handbag. 

To be honest…

..I actually, think i’ve been accidentally, CLEVER about all this. Yes, it happened by accident, but  I decided to EMBRACE IT. Lots of people don’t other. I try and engage and appreciate, ALL the time.

I’m an entertainer. But I’m an entertainer, a model, a blogger…of the NEW kind…FRESH SLIDES…

I’m the innovative kind, where YOU can actually come be a PART OF MY ‘SHOW.’ Be a part of Wunna Land. Do life properly and connect with me, as our life paths cross. This blog has literally turned into a written word, reality show. It’s interactive…It’s modern. It’s what I used to talk about 10 years ago..But now it’s kinda happening.

It’s cool…

That Psychic in West Hollywood..2004. At 7.19 pm. It was  Tuesday night in LA.

( I was in jeans and this shit read belly top, that read ‘Manteaser‘ on it, instead of ‘Malteasers. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WEARING!! And why did I start the blog with a F***, if I was just going to go ahead and swear anyway? Haha. Why do I bother, trying to be decent?)

Psychic: ‘You will start to write something, that will be the something that will eventually put your name in lights. Big lights… Opportunities, are gonna come your way..’

‘I’m a model. But I want to be a Popstar. I’ve just recorded a song with Capital Records..and..’

‘That will never happen. You’ll stay a model. You’ll actually become an actress. That is what you’re naturally good at. You’re a good model, because you’re a phenomenal actress. You’re a talent. But you’ll start to write something…and that is what will make you.You’re going to be a star. All I can see, is your name in lights…Do you have a diary?’

‘No…Anyway, what about my love life..’

( I walked out feeling unfulfilled.) 

WHY DO I ALWAYS RAMBLE!!!???!

Right. So yes! Lots of work. Lots of attention on my social stories right now. I thank you for that and all your messages of support! I put a lot into them…and I know it all seems ‘banter,’ but I do work hard for a ‘like‘ or a bit of ‘look at me.’ 

Hahaha…

..and without you responding, I wouldn’t have a story to tell. That’s why I love my ‘Ask me anything‘ because everyday, I get to learn about YOU,  from your questions, as you learn about ME. I actualyl never feel lonely because of it…

I love people…

Plus, with me NOT being as ‘out and about‘ as usual, due to my 21 day thing, it helps to keep my juicy flow of banter… alive.

I’m on Day 13! It’s almost getting harder now.

21 Days!!! Just Breathe OUT, Wunna!

(Lots of messages about this. But I just want to do it privately, for now. Then I’ll make you applaud me, once I know I’m steady, on good solid ground. 🙂 Oh and don’t fret. It’s not anything crazy. I’m not a massive druggie or anything. It’s just a habit, a wee little habit, that I needed to kick.)

Okay, to my love life…

(There’s literally not enough hours in the fucking day. I keep running through, all the things that I need to do, before the school run!! Utilize time! Utilize, time!  

So! Remember that I told you that I was going to meet ‘The Gent’ on the 18th, for a ‘friendly’ meet up. Well, it’s kinda like a date…but without the rigid formality. My chick friend wanted him to stand me up, because she wanted me to delusionally pine over ‘T Bone.’

I sent ‘T Bone’ a message yesterday. He opened and maybe with a shrug of disinterest, he didn’t respond. He had better life ‘tings’ to do. Haha.. He usually replies…Briefly. So he’s either just focusing on work, doesn’t fancy me anymore, busy, or is with someone…

Simples…

Break it down, Chicks!

*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…*

‘The Older Gent’ who sent me his first message a couple weeks ago, got in touch with me over the last few days and has no intention of ‘standing up’ Wunna Land. In fact, he seems pretty organised. He seems pretty ‘together.’ Pretty stable and grown. He seems reliable. He works hard. He kept his word. He’s a father. Ex Pro Footballer. Retired. Now a pundit.  But most of all, he seems to care about my potential ‘maybe’ needs? He’s attentive. He’s nurturing. He’s really intelligent, without being boring. He’s flying in for work, from a different nearby country.

He seems lovely…

…and that’s refreshing, because the guys I meet, usually care about themselves FIRST, before anyone..Well any chick, that is. Or maybe, it’s just me? I’ve never really encountered any decent gent, (aside from one) who knew how to care for me, or look after me, without a prompt. Or without reading from the ‘Charm Script.’

Maybe that comes with age?

No, that’s wrong. I’m not ageist. It comes from life experience. Being lovely and respectful is just something you are. It’s not something you do because of an age.

T Bone is actually ALSO, lovely and respectful. But, right now, he needs to do him…and IS. I can’t knock him for that. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dying a legend. Deservedly. However, what he doesn’t realize is that he already will. A great deal of people, including myself, respect what he’s already achieved in his life. I’m inspired by him.

(He’s occupation is also…football. He’s moved to the other side of the world, right now.) 

Anyway…That’s T Bone…aka The Swirl.

Back to ‘The Gent’….

On the 18th,  I’m going to meet The Gent in Liverpool, after he’s flown in and worked. I’ve never met before? I don’t know him?

Me: I need a new outfit and new hair!

Lizzie P: ‘Why do you need to spend so much money on looking good, when he’s only going to treat you badly, in the end? They always start off being lovely. T Bone was FILLED with loveliness and excitement at first.’

Me: ‘Hi. I’m Chrissie. I’m a glamour puss. You know that! I don’t live LIFE, like that! I want to look nice. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn’t then..Hey I looked fabulous! He’ll remember that! Haha.’ 

Lizzie P: ‘We’ll see…’

Then she shakes he head at me and walks off. Lol.

So much is going on? Real Dates. Old Flames. New Habit Breaks. Tattoo challenges.. Insta Love. All the work. Good friends. Family. Babies…

All sorts…

I kinda need a vino…

Chrissie x

Ps: Miss. (Does PR) Murphy, was on a late night train from Yorkshire to Essex last night, after approximately ‘seven wines’ and got excited about my MadLipz, Voice Over App. An app where you can put your own voice and words, over famous movie & tv scenes. I’m addicted. Mine have been ACE.  She downloaded the app. on the train, last night,en route to Essex, after a…

‘WTF is this??’

It ended like this…

‘Shit! I just opened it on the train and it was some violent swearing scene! Hahaha.’

I’m sure she was fine. Everyone loves a ‘seven wines and swearing’ combo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Head… Fuck

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I’ve definitely just been called a ‘Big head fuck.’ HAHAHA. Anytime that happens and you can *pause* and then have both parties piss themselves over it for a good moment, you’re winning. In fact, i got called a ‘Big Head Fuck’ simply because i previously rated myself an 8 out of 10 on the hottness scale (which I am…lol…i’m not too hot, yet certainly above average.. 😉 ) and then asked, whilst looking at my mirror image, ‘who was hotter?’ I’m good like that. (Oh shut it, i’m joking.)

What I actually find hilarious, is the simple fact that the other side of the phone said those words as their LAST ENTIRE words of the day…’BIG HEAD FUCK, ‘ then..fell asleep…on April 1st, 2015…and apparently with their goolies out, because the sleep naked. ‘What!? There’s nothing wrong with that! I’m about to go to bed, after this conversation. I’m in bed naked.’

Goolies crack me up. It was only at work today that i was showing the boys the kind of messages i get sent. I MADE them look at willies that other delightful people of the world had sent my inbox for kicks and wee’d myself with laughter. After that I whopped a mini beer fridge by plants that I had bought Adam for his house warming gift. I actually get on with Adam (Baby Ad’s) really well…We know quite a lot about each other and chill quite easily…so i bought him a mini beer fridge, because he deserved it. Yeah, yeah, not really a useful gift. But fuck it…he’s 18 and i’m awesome….a mini beer fridge is all you’d need in our book. (He actually texted me this evening to thank me….which means he has good manners. Well done sir!)

Then i got called a ‘Big HEAD FUCK.’ 🙂

What else?

I’ve been enjoying being a Mum. It’s nearly easter. I’ve been spotted everywhere. I mean someone text me this morning, to say the had passed me…yet didn’t bother stopping me to say ‘Hi.’ LOL. If you see me, you can actually stop me and say ‘hello.’ You’re not intruding. You are openly welcoming with warm kitten arms. Like I said…i’m good like that. Innit. (Wiggle…wink.) I’m not going to shun you. I’m far too social for all that. I’ll banter, flirt and giggle…then shun you. 🙂 (Oh shut it. JOKING! Sometimes. 🙂 )

This week is going really fast. In fact this entire year is. But this month i must be happier because I failed to get my stress rash! Yippeee! Nothing’s really pissed me off because i’ve been having lots of fun, enjoying life, working hard, being Mum and chatting to ‘the boy.’ It’s all sort of put me in good stead for utter balance…which as you know, i think is the most important thing. A bit of everything is good for you…no matter what anyone says.

(I’m currently having a flash back of a conversation that I had earlier, where in which a being told me that the had dry humped someone on a carpet, and was soo pissed they couldn’t remember. LOL. I stated that that meant they were rubbish at sex and went in for what i call the ‘four pump sherlock.’ Gross! I have no clue why i’m flash backing such…as i have this theory on flashbacks being not at all a mental fling, yet more of an emotional tie. The moment you flash back, simply flags, and pin points the actual emotion you felt during that minute, hour, second, phase. It’s the emotion of it all, how you felt, that acts like a trigger and not the thought of it. So, fi you’re remembering something, the way you felt at that time as been triggered in your present. Does that make sense, or so i need more wine?)

Isn’t it weird when psychics tell you that YOU TOO COULD BE PSYCHIC. Have you hear that before? I have! I’m not psychic for shit. I have no clue. So how the hell could I tell the future well? I mean i could listen and then make up a bunch of shit to ease the pain of worry. Yet that’s not some kinda of sex spooky gift..that’s lying for dosh. I just met a being today who said that i too could practice her dark art if i wanted. It made no sense to me…i adore a reading, but can i give them…not even nearly.

ALSO! How weird is that new Usher song! The one where he’s rambling on about how he’s dating a new girl ans she’s a stripper, but it doesn’t matter that she’s a stripper because he thoroughly understands that it’s her dream to make a buck that wa and that she is just taking care of her business? WTF! How tight is Usher! HAHAH. I mean, surely if you were Usher, and you’re new bird was stripping, you’d say her from such a life with your gzillion dollars and prevent her from having to shimmie shake it for dodgy men for £20 a pop? Yeah, yeah, he says in the song, he makes enough for the two of them. But honestly…lol…let’s not be tight here. There’s letting women pursue their dreams and then there is just being tight. 🙂 I understand that the ‘message’ is meant to be positive. Yet the fact that it’s done to some calm, love song melody pisses me off! It’s far less great, (a better way of saying, ‘soo much shitter’) than Wyclefs..’Just cos she dances go..go..’ sing a long. Such a weird song. I rate Usher. But that tune is…well…crap.

There’s actually quite a few good love songs pottering about in the charts right now isn’t there. The whole Ellie Goulding ‘love me’ thang, Sam Smith and his ‘next to you’ laa dee daa.’ I’m impressed that everyone is finding love in everything..just like moi. However  it is nearly Summer and I always believe that people just forget about love and do flings in bikini’s. I don’t, as i’m always on the scope for my ‘happily ever after.’ In fact, ‘the boy’…the one that i’m constantly talking too, told me that he wishes he had met me 4 years ago…(meaning that he could’ve been the man that married and did forever with…) How sweet is that! Points scored and noted.

Notice how i focus in on the good bits and not on the fact that he called me a ‘Big head… fuck.’ (All in good humour. 🙂 LOL.  That’s the key to happiness, which is the key to success. I’m sure. Don’t ask me. Ask Oprah?

Learn it. Live it. Enjoy life.

(Shit, i’ve finally managed to update my iphone! JESUS! That took some doing. I need to partake in less selfie taking, and clear out my storage more frequently. What a ball ache. NOW….it’s done.)

Wunna.

chrissie-101-Copy

 

 

 

Gift 13! Nappy Cakes!

Hey Dolls! Hope you’ve all had a delightfully Christmasy day! Mine has been spent Christmas shopping in Robin jumpers and a clip in hair extension that I need to name ‘Diva.’ I ADORE a bit of shopping for Crimbo and well when it’s all under control to the point where you can chill by a log burning fire place for a boozy/ cheeky drink, you know life is great! I even had time to run into my local store and grab 12 bottles of mulled wine for the nursery nurses that take care of my Baby Rubes and Baby Junior. I know it’s probably not best to take booze into nurseries, but ah well…it’s Friday, it’s Christmas…let’s all do a mulled wine and be merry. I adore the ladies at nursery, so vino had to be done. I have not met a more hilarious bunch and it’s great because we can all be ourselves around each other, instead of doing that pretend ‘Mummy’ to ‘Carer’ thing. Bottom line, I’m super grateful that they’ve dealt with my drama be it my issues or my children. 🙂 Reward….WINE. (When I was pulling it off the shelves a guy looked at me laughing saying, ‘Where the hell are you going with that?’) I have that touch on people. It’s never ‘oh hi, how are you.’ It’s always a case of WTF! In fact that’s alie, I got hit on by dodgy men and builders today, all who thought my ‘red boots’ were a delight. Then I stopped by women who actually told me to put on shorts under my skirt. 🙂 I’m still that inappropriate and i’m turning 33 next week!

Anyway enough of that! Well done to Emily Woodcock for winning the parker jacket! Yippppeee! I’d totally rock a faux fur.

Okay, next gift!

You all know that i’m a…

 

…MAMA.

So in order to keep this giveaway as close to my life as possible, I have carefully discovered and selected some of the best Baby Brands who I KNOW create such wonderfully creative and innovative tools, gifts or wonders for little children. It’s not easy to find them, so MUMS trust me on this….I have searched high and low to find you the best of the best.

Let me introduce to you…GIFT 13

 

NAPPY CAKES!!

 

Nappy cakes is quite frankly the BEST BRAND in the name of Baby gifting! They are the most creatively divine luxury for all new mums and a delightfully classy, yet adorable gift to deliver to a lovely lady who has just had a baby or is about to give birth!! THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL and of a FIRST CLASS QUALITY & YOU CAN WIN ONE FOR CHRISTMAS TODAY”!!!

This adorable two tier nappy cake contains a selection of items that mummy needs for her precious little Christmas baby boy or girl. With a super cute festive design and handpicked selection of baby products, this is a gift any mum to be or new mum would be delighted to receive from family, friends or colleagues. An elegant and useful design, perfect as a baby shower centrepiece instead of a traditional edible cake, joint or personal gift corporate maternity leave gift or a surprise treat! Give a mum to be a thoughtful gift today – choose Nappy Cakes By Betty!

What is included in your Nappy Cake?

40 Pampers New Baby nappies
1 White Cotton Cellular Blanket
1 large muslin cloth
1 sleepsuit from Next (0-3month)
with matching hat
1 ‘My First Christmas’ hat
1 ‘My First Christmas’ set booties
1 set socks (styles vary)
1 Button Corner ‘My First Christmas’
teddy
1 gift card
1 silver plated dummy
Colour co-ordinating ribbon &
artificial flower

AND A….

Complete set of mum & baby products:
1 Vital Baby® Nurture Bottle
1 trial pack Vital Baby® Ultra Slim 3D Breast Pads
1 Vital Baby® Spoon
1 travel size pack Aleva Naturals Organic Bamboo Baby Wipes
1 30ml bottle Aleva Naturals Organic Daily Soothing
Moisturizer
1 30ml bottle Aleva Naturals Organic Sleep Easy Baby Wash
1 5ml tube Aleva Naturals Organic Calendula Multipurpose
Skin Remedy
1 10ml tube Organic Babies Mum & Baby Rescue Balm
1 10ml tube Organic Babies Nappy Cream Baby Balm

Clothing & Blanket 100% cotton
Clothing size – Sleepsuit & matching hat 0-3 Months – Christmas hat & booties set newborn.
Total retail price…excluding courier OVER£65!!

Now if you are a MUM, you KNOW how valuable this gift is and it is certainly one of my personal favourites. I’m in love with it and know that it’s going to be HUGE. I have one in my living room right now ready to deliver to one lucky blog reader and let me tell you, do not underestimate the SHEER SIZE of this Nappy Cake. It’s massive! It is a brand that soon every single celeb mum will be celebrating. These cakes are AMAZING! If i could give every single new mum that I knew one, I would! BEAUTIFUL PRODUCT! Makes the perfect Christmas present for any new or soon to be MUM. There are Christmas cakes, unisex cakes, boy cake,s girl cakes, cakes for every occasion! The brand is a MARVEL.

All you have to do to win a luxury NAPPY CAKE by Betty is know the answer to this Chrissie Wunna fact…

Question: (Simples.)

I’ve just had a baby boy! What is his name?

get your answer to me as soon as you can via ANY online channel and a luxury Nappy Cake could be YOURS!!!