Today I’m talking Love…

It’s Summer right! Let’s have some fun now. We’ve sat in rain. We’ve worked hard all year. We’ve hustled. We’ve loved, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried. Some of us have fallen in love. Some of us and have had our merry hearts broken. Some of us have made our dreams come true and some of us just forgot to try.

Clean slate it!

People get so stressed out about shit that doesn’t matter. Don’t get stressed out about shit that doesn’t matter. One life to live, with nothing to lose. LIVE IT. I’m watching the whinners have a moan about life and the winners just get on with it. Wunna Land is a ‘no sulking’ zone. So if you’re feeling down…cheer up. If you’ve fallen down…get back up. If you’ve got a bikini, throw it on. If your Prosecco glass is empty.. pour a fresh bubbly one, as see it as half full.

The sun’s out now! Let’s have some fun! Fuck it! It’s Sunday!

So far, i’ve actually had a chilled one. I’ve worked hard all week and darted here there and everywhere. My first day into my days off, are always about family time and chill. It’s like the big old recoup after a jolly, but tough game. Plus, I treasure the time that I have with Ruby and Junior, as there’s just me (yes, I have a lot of help, that I appreciate greatly.) But I have to work quite madly in order to provide and ‘Boss it’ for them. (I haven’t been lucky enough in love to hold onto a proper ‘this is mummy…this is daddy…and we’re together forever’ lifestyle…YET. What? I’m hopeful. 🙂 ) Secondly…I have to share them with their Daddies (who I get along with quite wonderfully) and that alone is healthy for them, because they’re immersed in love continuously…However it makes me treasure my time with them. I love being a Mum.

We shopped, we sang, we danced, we face painted, we kicked balls in parks, we had mini manicures, we did family Wunna Lunch at Ego in Ackworth and I winked it all off with cocktails, an ‘at home’ dance off and then treated myself to an early night.

Ponte Races happened! Thousands of people went. I definitely didn’t, as it looked far too busy. But, some drunk chick with crimped hair got so blasted and used MEL’S HEAD to regain her wibbly balance. Hahahaha! When that text came in, I almost DIED. If you know Mel…YOU DO NOT EVER USE HER HEAD to find your balance. You don’t ever use her ANYTHING, without her consent, to find any form of anything! Hahaha! Especially if you chosen to crimp it up. Don’t crimp. It’s bad for you. It makes you look more drunk.

Double B has started going to the gym. I’m shocked, as she doesn’t look gymmy, but she is. I’m noticing that she’s water drinking, fruit eating and now signing up to gym memberships? It’s confusing me? I liked it better when she refused to eat potatoes unless they came in ‘smiley face’ form, or ham, unless it was served with a Billy Bear face on it.

Firmonnell is BACK and thank the fucking LORD. How dare she dash off to Tenerife with her family and leave me to my own lonely devices with no evil text banter to fill my much needed void. I’m so losery, that I even messaged her when I knew that she was on plane and couldn’t text back. But she’s BACK…and YES, I FINALLY FILLED A VOID.

Not sure what’s happening right now, but my inbox is filling up with men? They’re all tapping at my messenger waiting for some kind of response? I’m not good at responding, i know….but it’s because I don’t like lots of pressure from people that I don’t think really know me. It makes me run away, (yipppppeee) as I always believe that they have judged me on a picture and have an incorrect idea of what i’m actually like.

I’m quite traditional when it comes to love..and I have a one track mind. So if i fancy someone, I only really focus of them…that’s something that half of my inbox would never really guess? My persona is flirty, but my soul is loyal. (A bit deep for a Sunday. Lol) So Yes, I did once say that I prefer men to be forward but….

Well..to be honest I have to….

Whatever….Lol I am utterly flattered. So thank you. The lovely messages (and I do read them all, even though I don’t manage to reply) made me smile.

*Runs away and hides.*

Lots of people always ask me about my love life…and well I’m not an easy person to date and I reckon that I match well with other ‘not so easy to date’ people. In entertainment or any career where in which you need to both focus and promote yourself, work hard, be away, or hustle…it’s more difficult to find love. You have to rely on the loving stable other, to just ‘get it’ and understand…..it’s never easy. You yearn for something or someone to ‘get it‘ or for your relationship to just run easily. So when you have it, you grab in both hands and try to hold onto it forever. You treasure it. MADLY.

In LA, it’s really easy, because everyone’s doing the same thing. Everyone’s career focused. That comes first. They achieve everything imaginable and make all their dreams come true. THEN they do love, build a family and do the rest of it….properly. No one is living a normal life over there. Love is unconventional. But everyone gets how it is.

In England, it’s not as simple as that for successful men or ‘boss it’ kinda girls. It’s harder and it’s not a bad thing, as people are more ‘togethery’ in Blighty. They do forever. They love hard. They meet when they’re teens and stay together through eternity. They know what they want and it’s lovely….and i’m understanding it more and more, as days go by…in Hollywood…none of that existed when I was a 20 something. But I don’t dislike that. I loved my time in LA. I love who I am and what I stand for and I love that I never ‘just settled’ for whoever or whatever.

The next time I get married, I will be marrying the most amazing man alive.

The idea is to keep it simple. When you complicate something as pure as love…it dashes it with negative salt shakes, that can often make it meander inappropriately.

Anyway, i hope you all have the most delicious bank holiday weekend!

I’m off on my travels!

I’ll check in later.

Thank you for following my life.

ps/ Exciting things are about to happen.

 

 

 

 

Last Night I Loved The City…

It was 9pm last night, as I walked through Leeds city centre, on my own, over bits of cobbles, passed closed shop and now quiet busy streets, in the warm evening sunshine. It was still light and the air was humid, yet with a gentle breeze that swirled around couples.

To my left there were uni students in love, laid on private park lawns with wine. To my right were stylish 20 somethings hand in hand with ‘first date’ smiles on their faces, as they tinkered in heels and stubble.

Infront of me were lesbian ‘Hello Kitty’ teens who still had a long way to go in life, yet in that moment we’re so in love.

…and then there was me…

I beamed as I gleefully strutted through the calmness of Leeds city centre, on my own, like the world was my oyster. Last night I loved the city and I felt like it was mine! I properly ‘Carrie Bradshawed’ it and scanned everything around me with a wink and a smile.

Drunks boys whistled as I passed..yet politely. Posh boys ‘well heelllooooed’ me as they double took my strut. Grandma’s stop me to tell me that I was a ‘pretty lady,’ and well last night I felt liberated. There was a skip in my step. Last night, I loved Leeds and it felt like one of the Greatest cities to be in. I’m a lucky girl.

But let’s rewind right…

Four hours before that I was bundling my life manically into my handbag, trying to find my phone charger, doing wee’s with the toilet door open, because my mind was so busy that I completely forgot to shut it. (Business men watched me wee. Lol) Then with a flash and a ‘see ya’ I darted out the door, hair all a mess, glowing from the heat, rushing in heels and with a blink I was in my car *zooming* myself to a train station to get a train that left Platfrom 2 in 11 minutes.

‘SHIT!’

It was boiling, I had to get naked in the car, whilst parked up outside Xscape (lol) to change my outfit. I tottered as fast as my little kitten legs could take me over a footbridge with the sun beaming down and onto Platform 2….and just like that, BOOM, I was on that train and on my way! (No wine in my system at all…which i always find devastating, because if I ever needed a drink, it was in that moment, I need to hire someone that just rushed by my side all the time, with a cocktail in their hand and a straw ready for me to sip in emergencies.)

I’m not gonna tell you anything about my night because I think i’m gonna tell you a better story later. Yet, I will skim it with sassy clues.

I..with what seemed like the entire female population of Leeds was at Manahatta on Merrion Street last night. It was rammed. I had never seen that place so busy in my life. It was so rammed, that before i walked in, I peeked in and I almost turned around (especially because it took me ages to find the bar in the first place) and went home.

But I didn’t. in life, if you ant something, you’ve just got to push through those glamourous glass doors and go for it. So I did.

Every single one of those girls was single and they’d come from all over. BUT there was a handful of men. (The rest had gone to watch football.) In that handful of men, 4 of them were handsome.

Long story short…there was a warm sweaty magic in the air, filled with hopefuls and light, laughter and cocktails.

My lucky stars were shining on me that night….as I was pulled away from the masses to tell my little Wunna Land story to new people. I did this on a chair, on camera and wished I had better hair all the way through it. Lol. It was AMAZING. And it was really great to see so many people that I knew in the masses. I think EVERYBODY was shocked by how many people had bothered turn up.

I guess love does make the world go around?

Some people were being asked to leave, as others were being escorted through special doorways. I was on special doorway route and at one point I was stood next to the most handsome and stylish, loveliest Leeds guy ever. We kinda had to team up by accident, as everyone kept glaring at us….as we were stood on a stairway, above masses and masses of people….

Him: ‘I feel like i’m on show.’

Me: ‘Really? Lol. I feel fine…I can see what you mean though.’

‘Him: ‘I feel like we’re getting EYE FUCKED.

Me: Hahahah! Yeah…a little bit.’

Him: ‘My  work friends are even outside waiting to take the piss out of me. I’ve come straight from Bar & Grill… You’re the best girl here babe…’

We bantered and I smiled because he was such a gent and obviously great. He’s a guy who wants to get ahead in life, do well…and he deserves it. Handsome guy! Didn’t give a shit that his mates were taking the piss out of him. He was doing what was right for him. I liked that. (And his outfit! Lol) In the 20 minutes that we stood on the stairway, we got on really well.

On the whole, I guess, I didn’t really concentrate on the crowd. I didn’t notice the ‘eye fucks.’ I don’t anymore. I’m kinda used to it. I’m immune to it. Lol. But more importantly I was just concentrating on what I was doing. I chatted to the people next to me. I didn’t sweat the small stuff…and I didn’t have a fricking drink. I needed one. It was boiling,.

But yeah, three hours later, I walked through ‘special doors’ where there was just me…

An hour later…I was gleefully strutting through the peaceful evening city centre streets, with my hand bag swinging in my hand, a smile beaming from my soul and en route to catch the next train to Pontefract.

Last night I learnt that finding love matters to everyone. Be you rich, poor, tall, small, happy, sad, successful or nowhere….No matter whether you believe it matters or whether you believe it doesn’t. It matters to all humans.

I also realised that status, ‘show’ and ‘being someone’ matters to everyone also…but it’s only that little glittery handful of people who are accidentally in the right place at the right time, or the ones that really work hard to get themselves infront of the right people, or the folk who just ‘have it’ that get there.

I loved last night because you couldn’t do anything but be yourself. And if I can do anything…I can fucking do that! Lol.

Enjoy the weather!

 

 

 

Bubbling Opps & N**** Leapfrogging

I’m plate spinning. But jeeze! What can I do! I’m busy. I’m busy! But need to make sure that I’m getting somewhere and using my time on the things that matter. I’m enjoying it all. Yet getting bored of the mundane. I’m seeing the positive of everything, as it’s in my nature to, yet getting back in touch with my old friend…’Gut Instinct.

Things are going great! I’ve had bad news which i’ve counteracted with good news and the way I got good news was simply back dusting my little cheeky self off and hip hoppling straight back on that pony with a cocktail in my hand and an eye of determination.

I’m getting my stress rash…on my FACE! I’m getting that because i’ve not been as expressive as I need to me. I’m not voicing my opinion enough…which keeps things internal and well my body takes it out on me by giving me a face rash! SEXY TIMES!

All my friends keep popping up in my dreams…NAKED. Fairytale Blond was in it yesterday…with no clothes on, BUT she was leap frogging Double B, who was also naked and straddling???? And it wasn’t even a naughty dream. It was like Naked Leapfrog in Wunna Land was normal???

THEN last night I dreamt that one of my random guy friends, who’s certainly emotionally closed off, was walking around Wunna land, with a boner and hitting on me seductively??? I’m so confused.

Does this mean i’m horny? Or does this mean I’m nuts? You decide.

I spent the night with Ruby last night and we watched videos in bed together, as I have a busy day today and a busy evening of work, where i’ll have to dash out to Leeds.

I think with all that has gone on in Manchester, for a second it’s shocked us all, before it’s hit us. So, i didn’t want people to think that I didn’t care, about everything that was going on and that I was just blogging about my glittery, wonderful *dying of hard work* life..like everything was all about me and nothing else mattered.

I wouldn’t make a political comment of any sort. But I will make a ‘human’ comment and that is that I cannot even imagine what the families of those who have lost the lives of their children or loved ones must be going through…and being a Mum myself ….every piece of love from my soul goes out to you. Where I am in the world, we’re pretty much next door to Manchester…so it makes it scary and simply because it can happen anywhere and it’s something that we can’t control.

However, I believe my job on this planet isn’t to report the news of terror, but instead to look around me, see what’s going on and lift the spirits of those who need it…It’s what i’m good at and in my mind a strength.

Hustle Barbie went to see Spooky Sue last night and well, she told her that she was going to have a big change in her world, her love life, her home life, move abroad, have two children and that the clue was when she saw a Policeman. I’m excited!

All my chick friends, have now (no wait, Firmonnell hasn’t) seen Spooky Sue (our localish psychic) and I was going to go, yet after Double B told me it was shit, I didn’t. Fairytale,, Mel and Hustle Barbie, said it seemed great! So I should book in…when I have the time.

I’ve had some great readings and some dismal ones. So dismal, I could’ve been the psychic and they could’ve needed some life coaching. Lol. I used to have a ‘party boy’ guy friend in LA who used to pretend he was a psychic to pull girls on a night out outside The Abbey. Hilarious! He boned them every time.

When I did The Clothes Show, I actually got whisked behind a curtain by a little Essex talking, white haired lady, who plonked me down my a crystal ball and told me a few things about my past…WHICH NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW…(all the worst things, that she could see had happened to me) and then she told me about my future. At the time, what she said I just shrugged off. It was in December. But recently….what she said has exactly come true. I’ve met the person that she described. So there is magic in the air after all. But hey, we’ll give ‘Our Sue’ a go and see what she says about Wunna Land.

I like to just *pop up* on future tellers, as lots on Facebook and all over the land try to shimmie into my inbox, yet I always feel that they can simply read a few blogs, get a the low down and then tell me what I want to hear. The great thing about the Crystal Ball woman was that she told me something that NO ONE but my mum, then another thing that not even my MOTHER 🙂 knows about…well she looked in the ball, saw it and just said…

‘Y’know when……happened!

At that point she had me. I was hooked. She was sexy! I adore sexiness in anything….work, men, love, life….it just gives it that sprinkle of ‘ooh laa.’

Anyway, I’m looking for time off…I’m needing it. I’m needing to just be away from normal vibes and simply write, write write, bog, blog, blog, just for me…online and without looking at my insights. I started the blog because I loved writing a diary and I never want to lose that feeling. I never will. I’m great at staying in tune with that. But I do need a moment. I’m getting stressy. Lol.

I have new pictures, taken by the talented Clare Pritchard of clareprtichardphotography.co,uk coming out to you over the Bank Holiday weekend. I’m excited for you to see them! I think they are AMAZING! I can’t wait to go back in and shoot with her again. But yes, they come out this Bank Holiday.

I also start my new project in the first week of June…I can’t tell you anything about it…but it’s fun and I hope it all goes well. Lol. I have lots bubbling..and now only six minutes to get ready and get dressed for a day of work.

I have a really long day today, but i’ll smash it. xx

 

 

 

A Fabulous Glittery Madness

‘Right! You two are gonna have to be straight now and look after me. I’m taking NO responsibility for getting back to this train station by 10pm. You have to get me here, in one piece, if you want me to come play drinking with you!’

And my two delicious gays, Liam and Lee looked after me like Kings! They were GREAT! They cared for me. They molly coddled me. They made sure I was okay every little stiletto tapper of the way…..and we had a BLAST! I had been refusing to go out around Soho after dinner, in need to get home. Yet, with a ..

‘Chrissie, it’s only 7.13pm!!! You’ve got ages!’

I ended up going….But fuck it. Liam had a show to shoot in th emorning. I had just come out of a great business meeting. Lee, is on the Westend and has just finished being the main in the Lion King. We had had cocktails, posh scampi and naughty looking pork scratching. And you only live once..

PLUS….

Soho is my old haunt. When I lived in London, I was literally out on the Soho glitter cobbles EVERY NIGHT! I was just off the Paris Hilton Show and everyone adored me, but i had started dating this Boyband guy…If you go back into my archives (via the search bar) his named was ‘Boyband Jonny.’ Anyway, he always wanted to go out because he was young…and we’d do a lot of normal straight bars…but I did notice that he ALWAYS wanted to every gay bar in all the land.

Liam, Lee and I…after we tap danced the time step on the tube…(I can totally tap dance incase you didn’t know…and in heels) found ourselves tinkering to G.A.Y…which is where Boyband Jonny and I would always go…every night. Big Brother Mark Byron used to be the ‘handing out flyers guy’ outside. Even then and because I was so trusting…I didn’t even think that Boyband Jonny might actually be gay? Lol. I mean GOD!!! We were in G.A.Y every night for crying out loud!!

THE CLUE IS IN THE TITLE!!

But we’re great now and he’s all gay and lovely…and certainly states that I broke his heart. I didn’t. I just got bored of being treated badly. I love those moments when us girls suddenly get all clued up and we grow ten feet tall and march forward. Were invincible at the point and beam because we’ve managed to remember that we’re utterly of worth!

Anyway, the best night was had! Yes! I’m far too old to be staying out with the Gays and partying. I’m not used to it. But loved it. We shouted out on the busy streets of London. We danced on the cobbles, in the open airs, singing out Pop songs.

‘If i could sing. I’d be a star. I’d be Rihanna!’ Lol’

We ‘West Side Story’ leaped and finger snapped our way through traffic, whilst selfie taking with the crowds and laughing out loud at our snapchats. We danced in bars…drank…swirled with Drag Queens…and drank….we lived, we loved, we played ‘cheeky’ with security…and we drank, drank, drank,

This security guard kept telling me off and whenever he did i’d snapchat him. Lol. He wasn’t grumpy. Yet one minute he’d be telling me off and the next saying that I looked like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls and asking to take me home.

DUDE! Girls like me have TRAINS TO CATCH.

Liam, Lee and I swirled our magic, around a glitter mess of fabulosity.

‘I haven’t had this much fun in ages..’

And just as the boys promised….even when they were moderately pissed. They got me to the tube station…LORD KNOWS HOW! I was battered. Glamourously battered ofcourse. Definitely felt ill. But was still beaming.

Liam stayed out. HAHAHAHA! Happy 8am filming! And Lee had a singing show thing to get to by 11am. Where he was performing! Lol.

I got on that 10pm train. I might have been sick.I can’t remember. Liam might have also puked in his hotel room. Infact all my friend across the lands were doing sicks. Double B said she puked into a cup whilst driving around a roundabout. Her distant cousin Double D puked in someones bed? No…wait. He puked from drinking and woke up in someones bed…some girls bed…he was woke up by the sound of a baby! 🙂

The great thing is that I had lots of London fun. (Even though I have annoying London friends, who are moaning that I didn’t get time to see them. I was working..and well if you don’t ask to see me, then obviously you won’t. Lol. Why do people wait in the wings? It’s dull. So much happens in my life that you have to catch me when you’ve got my attention…or strike when the irons….gin. 🙂 )

However, yes, best time ever. Great catch up. Great business meeting…but knackered. It was fabulous because it made me remember how much I adore to chill!

So right! Everything in Wunna land is all about taking care of myself now. Don’t worry i’m not going to go nuts. I’m just gonna eat better, drink less…smile more…and all that good old jiggery. Get fitter. Chill! And not really stress.

I’m gonna love! I feel all inspired and fancy inspiring. Stay focused on what you want to do. Do it well…the people that adore you will always be around. They’ll stand by you and cheer you on!

And i have nothing to lose…:)

Enjoy this absolutely GORGEOUS WEATHER!

ps/ My love goes out to all of those involved in the Manchester explosions. That came as a shock! Hope everyone is safe!

 

 

 

Life, Swirls & Connections…

Today…if I looked at the positive and pick out the bits that matter, even though it rained all day in Yorkshire and parts of work were a draaaag, it was a GREAT DAY to be alive. I’m noticing when i’m happy. I’m embracing the things that I have going on that are wonderful and even though I’m all *winks & banter,* with sassy little stocking shimmies….I’m warm…If you know me personally and infact most of you actually don’t. But i’m grateful that you’re following my life. Know that by nature i’m quite playful, I’m quite soft…but i’m loads of glittery fun….

I looked around me today as I walked across the cobbles in the rain….with the weird blue ‘Lifeboat’ umbrella that I found and yeah…life wasn’t so bad. It was great day to be alive. (Still fucking wished it was Friday though! AND still fricking wish that it didn’t rain all over my hair.)

I have a lot going on right now from book deals, to tours, to modelling shoots, to business meetings, to brand deals and being mum…It’s the best thing EVER and on the whole  a super exciting time..BUT it’s relaxed because i’m feeling really in control of it all and these days, I don’t care about stressing out. It’s a pointless thing that we do when we’re scared. More than anything, I’m flipping lucky! I’ve got this shit down, on a calm easy, hair tossing breeeeeeeeeeeze!

But yeah, I had a conference called this morning. Edited a bit of my new book that’s out this year. I watched ‘Firmonnell’ enter holiday mode and pretty much toss the day off with glee. (I love her on holiday mode. She kept randomly talking tripe to people, like some ‘clingy on’ friend, just to kill time, so she wouldn’t have to do anything. Lol. It worked! Hahah!)

‘Oh hey Dipper…’

‘Oh hey Webbo!’

Double B must have called me a ‘BITCH‘ approximately 13 times today, but I let her off because lets face it, she’s a loon, but she’s fucking hilarious. We talked ‘my future‘ over lunch today, as we discussed life overlooking the town with her Rapunzel hair, whilst she ate super noodles.

‘Hustle Barbie’ had itches, which i’m sure she said were crabs? 🙂

Me: ‘You’re passing your itch onto me…’

Hustle B: ‘Do you have a pen? A black pen. GOD! I can’t reach my ITCH and it kills!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ (who has just got back from helicopter rides to hotels in Monte Carlo,) just looks like she’s going to fall pregnant soon….

‘Honestly! I can see it in your face! You’re gonna end up preggo.’

(She smiled like she liked the idea…)

Mel is on her military diet and smashing ‘weigh ins’ so she doesn’t have to pay to ‘jolly in’ with the slimmers..

‘It’s giving me headache…Where are those Jelly Babies..?’

and Lady Shizzle is showing us group selfies that resemble the cast of TOWIE in Marbs?

‘Did I show this selfie? Look…’

And then there’s me….

Just me…

And if I could tell you anything, I’ll tell you that i’m in a swirl. There’s this guy. The most amazing guy that I could ever know and I cannot even tell you how lucky he makes me feel right now…

When it comes to guys…or girls infact and the art of finding a great match…One of those soul connections that make you *BEAM* because you just can’t help it…you sort of need to gel on every level…don’t you!

With this guy…I have that…and i’ve never really felt like this before…

We can be besties and kick it…lovers and ‘filth it,’ take each other lightly, take each other seriously…express…trust…and just BE! We’re easy going humans….and I’m loving every single minute of ‘right now.’

I’m in a swirl and i’m beaming. He makes me feel really happy. He’s an AMAZING MAN and I don’t think my path would or could ever cross with a better one.

I’m someone who lives in the present and I never stress out about the ahead. People stress out too much about needing to know the outcome of something whilst forgetting to enjoy the ‘right now.’ When you embrace the ‘right now’ magical things happen, Infact  life, love and all sorts develop from those moments and much faster than you expect because you’ve embraced them without fear. We think and analyse things too much, instead of relaxing and really enjoy those moments with love.

For anyone of you IN stressy love life situations know that the development of it all is great, as it’s sort of like receiving a pink gift box… undoing the big bow… slooooowly unravelling the wrapping away, gently opening the box and reaching into it… to see the gift. You pick the gift up and play around with it for a bit…then you hold  palm of your hands and treasure it close to your heart because it’s ended up meaning so much to you, without you realizing. It’s magical. 🙂

But yes, i’m in a swirl.

He’s dynamic, but there’s a peaceful gentleness to him. We’re really similar like that. There’s a playfulness to him, but he’s a stand up guy! I’m really lucky. Anybody who gets to cross paths with this guy is lucky. I trust him.(That’s big) I trust him.

He totally deserved the bunny tail thong picture this morning. 😉

Anyway, I need a cheeky little wine.

Thank you for reading this…you actually mean the world to me. You are reading this with THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, across the entire globe on every single continent of the world, That in itself IS CRAZY! I can’t even believe it.

So whether you’re a mum in Yorkshire, a business man in New York, a teenager in Japan, or a Doctor in Australia? Whether you’re a model in LA, a party girl in London, a husband in Africa, a teacher in Asia….Thank you all for reading…I’ve accidentally connected you ALL, by writing this little online diary… 🙂

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

Hormonally Imbalanced Banter

Today was about business and banter. I don’t know what happened, but it was a rainy day in Yorkshire. I was stood outside in my grey pencil dress and faux fur wondering where everyone had got to? One had slept through the alarm, another needed to get cake, the other was ill and Firmonnell decided to take 300 years to go buy milk…

Me: ‘Why has it taken you so long to get milk?’

Firmonnell: ‘I got pants too…’

(She was sassy today…in her slutty specs.)

Then it all went the best way we like it…downhill..as we surrendered to fun and just went with ‘fuck it.’ Sometime s’fuck it’ is such a good option, as we as humans spend so much time being far too serious and far too serious playing ‘game and front’ that we forget to just relax and just adore all that is happening to us in love and work.

I’m a fun girl and in my world, I think there’s ALWAYS TIME for a giggle, ALWAYS TIME for a joke and always time for a champagne and to dance on tables. Even for just a minute…there’s time for a moment of adventure.. always. Be it calm, saucy, busy or hilarious. If you can’t make time for a moment, then you’re doomed, because life will come and post you a ‘shoulda coulda’ memo…and they’re always shit.

Live now. Embrace all the wonderful changes that are happening to you. Make porn out of Jelly Babies and send it to the guy you fancy. (I 100 percentage absolutely did that today. 🙂 I’m such a catch. Obvs! But whatever, I told you, i’m living like i have nothing to lose and this guy is literally the man of my dreams. I like him…A LOT.)

Then all my chick friends decided to either be on a period, endure the week before they get their period or just be period. You’ve got to love chicks when we’re hormonally imbalanced. It’s sassy, it’s sexy…it’s almost fucked up. Lol.

Then went on rants. Rants SO good that there were moments where we were literally all just looking at each other and CRYING with laughter.

Double B: ”Honestly, I could smoke a cigarette and stab it out in his eyes..’

 ‘All i want to do is cry…What’s wrong with me??’

Hustle Barbie: ‘You have to marry your best friend. I mean god! That’s why I HATE him…because i went for someone that I was just relatively attracted to. We don’t even get on Lol..Oh.. and my cat has friends.’

Me: I’m totally in a swirl. I totally send him nudes.’

Double D: ‘Do you want some of this…’

Me: What!! Half eaten disgusting cheesecake! Don’t try and offer me half eaten shit.’

Mel: I hate the word gusset!!! I have mine the the wrong way around today!’

‘You need to try and get that Monday off so you can get away…’

Double B: ‘He can suck my wad!’

Fairytale Blond: ‘Ive Facebooked her. Guess what colour hair she has?

Firmonnell: ‘Blond’

Double B: ‘Green.’

Me: ‘Ginger.’

Firmonnell: BLOND!

Double B: ‘GREEN!’

Me: ‘ I said, GINGER.’

Fairtayle: No, it’s brown…’

Me: ‘Why does that whole conversation feel pointless? Lol’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Why is it that I can’t tell a story without doing the voices.’

‘Not the voices…’

‘Yours start out Irish and then always end Indian.’

Webbo: ‘I was almost late today because I was playing hide and seek with the kids. I just thought they just better hurry up and FIND ME, cos i’ve got to chuffing get to work.’

‘She’s definitely an alcoholic.’

Firmonnel: ‘I think it’s odd that you and Jordan share clothes?? Liek you shouldn’t share clothes with your boyfriend. We’re you in his jacket today?’

Double B: ‘I’ll come home and he’s in my leggings.’

‘You can’t sit with us, we’re models.’

‘I kicked off the last time i went Karting, as I didn’t want to wear the helmet.’

‘Hahaha….I love it. Proper Diva.’

That was how the morning began until it just got boring and I spent the day messaging ‘the swirl’ because i’m all ‘nothing to lose,’ was completely on top of all business and well I just find him delicious. I can’t help it.

Glad you had a good one…

Why haven’t you followed me on Instagram?

chrissiewunna

Ps/ My chicks friends are currently on Whatsapp discussing the words ‘MOIST…MUSHROOM & CRUSTY!’ 

 

 

 

Don’t look like a sausage roll…

I’ve just been living. So my apologies for the ‘no blog.’ I kept meaning to write one, then I’d opt for a beautiful fruit gin instead, as I hovered the dairy in’pending’ before another gin tinkered in.

I’ve worked through the weekend, so I pretty much only had Sunday to *kapow* it. As usually I’d KAPOW Saturday and take a massive luxury chill on Sunday. It’s like i had to *binge* fun into a day with friends, cocktails, family and love. I don’t like *binge* fun, cos now…it’s Monday and I feel fucking shattered. I’ve also decided that anything that begins with the words ‘ALL IN….’ is shit. 🙂

Lots is happening. My world is spinning, it’s a really exciting time and I feel like i’m about to wink my way to everything i’ve  always dreamed of. I had a few last minute glitches at the end of last week work wise. Some people kind. Some people… RUDE as hell. (Don’t be rude, i’ll think you’re a dick. I don’t know where people get off being ‘no reason’ rude…especially when they look like an ice goat from the Narnia cupboard. You can’t be a goat, have poor shoe game and then try and spit out bastardy behavior. It will not work for you…even if you’re wearing my Little Mistress faux fur.

Saturday was ‘work Saturday.’ And it was rubbish. I hated Saturday because I could’ve thought of 900 other things that I would rather be doing, than what I was having to be doing. I kept looking at the window sighing for more eventful times. I wanted to karate kick out my cage. Lol.

If my chick friend ‘Double B’ didn’t state that some looked like a… (wait for it..)

‘…a sausage roll with a wig on..’

Hhahahah! Life would’ve be shit. And because it was THE ONLY funny thing to have happened, I clung onto the thought for hours and it tickled me all day.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘I’ still not over the sausage roll thing..’

‘It’s because she does actually look like one…lol.’

I LOVE ‘Double B’s insults because they’ll always be the most comedically odd, bitchy bits of ‘hoo haa.’ Like if ‘Mean Girls’ was Yorkshire and dipped in a silly whore sassiness…you would have what my ears hear on daily, from this chicks mouth. And then she’ll always top off the worse bits of insult off with her, ‘PAY THE FEE’ cheerleader dance.

‘Pay the feeee. Pay the feeeeeeeeee. Peace out. A Town.’

Firmonnell’s still happily married to ‘Big D’ and he’s totally stepped up his game. First he introduced a sex step, THEN he got a promotion…AND NOW he obtains these bags of jelly babies for free.

Big D and I used to go ice skating when we were kids at The Dome…as that all you could do in Doncaster… or ‘Dancing School.’ I mean who on EARTH gets to be married to Willy Wonka. AND SHE CAN’T EVEN ICE SKATE. I did the polite thing and told her that I might love or feel up her husband now that he has jellies.

She told me to ‘BACK THE FUCK OFF‘ Hahaha!

‘What? the dude’s got sweets and shit?’ 🙂

I’m loving this new ‘nothing to lose‘ outlook on life that i’m totally A* ..ing. I’ve got the reins to my world now and i’m flying baby, FLYING! Yes, i’m being a bit sassy, a bit annoying, a bit of a ‘doo daa’ at times…but i’m loving it and it’s ace and this is my patch of cyberland…so there! Prosecco for everyone!

(Hustle Barbie says it’s MY fault that she didn’t tidy her house because she went to do a blog catch up and ended up on this blog for hours. I assured her that there would be hot toyboys who would offer to clean her home for her…and that she could then leave her beau to date Gino D’Acampo. Great solution! I should have a therapy show!)

I’m in a swirl. God! This guy, ‘the swirl’ has got me going CRAZY!

Me: ‘I can’t hake you out my head. You’re in there. Always. I like it.’

‘Yeah me too..it feel ssoooooooo good.’

It’s thrown me a bit as you know how much I distrust my own judgements on anything ‘love or lust‘ related. This weekend, i just thought ‘fuck it’ (as I just can’t quit swirling about him) and with the whole ‘nothing to lose‘ mantra strapped onto my dildo…:) I WENT FOR IT.

He might have sent me a *spacky bum bum* emoji at one point. Lol.

I like this guy (but i’ve been treading cautiously..of previous)…We already get on well, so we don’t really need to try at that, as it’s just the way our personalities jigsaw. That part is a biggie, so we’re lucky like that.

So after picture taking, messages and him having a mild moan that they wasn’t much video content…Lol

‘Work your magic. 🙂 xx

‘You work your fucking magic. I’ve deleted every single SELFIE IN THE WORLD!!!!!’

We pissed ourselves, he went off on his night out and I got dressed, went to the bar and asked a guy to delete all my read emails so that I could video. Hahahaha! And he did! Very grateful!

Video galore was made on Sunday. It started sweet and just turned x rated. I couldn’t help it. The guy gets me going like that. Then like a magical flowing trail of saucy digital content…I proved that I had ‘nothing to lose.’ 🙂

It felt liberating. It felt sexy.

It was received with the upmost appreciation and messages to assure me that it was divine. Lol

I should get trophies for it! Yet, the art of sexy and seduction is knackering. I needed a warm bath and a ‘straight to bed’ afterward. Knowing my luck, I probably got him all juiced up and filled with spunk, so he could go bone some ‘first girl there’ chick because his willy couldn’t help it. Hahaha! I DID ALL THE FUCKING LEG WORK!!!! 🙂 Whatever, I’m Miss Wunna…ain’t no girl gonna beat my sauce. 🙂

Joking aside. I’m happy and like i said, you have to cling onto those moments of happy, don’t you? They keep things exciting and we (I hope) have exciting times ahead. The swirl is good because it weirdly has a magic to it, a magic that i’m labelling ‘substance.’ Like it could go really well..if we wanted it to.

If I could give you any advice from what I’ve learnt from my weekend, it would be to GO FOR IT. Express yourself. Be loving. Be open. be honest. Don’t give two shits about fear and get what you want…or at least have a go at trying…

‘Once upon a time..Mummy sent Daddy Nudes….and they lived happily ever after! 🙂 ‘

Oh and try not to look like a sausage roll..

Shit, i’ve got to dash…

Working ALL DAY.

 

 

Business, Swirls & Bouji Gin

So, I thought I was gonna chill & be quiet, yet this inner need for noise and bustle got the better of me, after *peace* had been  successfully’ticked’ off my ‘To do’ list. I found myself sending my bored friend Abeiku Arthur (who owns House of Solo Magazine..which I shot for) and by 7.30pm I as sat, in my faux fur, outside at a table with a red red wine at The Carlton, In Pontefract. It’s a local pub that I used to go to all the time, almost every time…Lol…almost racking up open tabs of hundreds of pounds time…Yet now I just peep in for a ‘kick back’ gin and tonic and jolly chilled banter with good friends.

I got there early so I just sat by myself, ‘House of Solo’ got there shortly afterward and after moaning that he wanted a burger and with a shandy in his hand, we pulled up a wooden chair and we started to talk work.

So, I’m running my blog, this blog..Wunna Land and he’s running his high fashion magazine…and every so often we catch up, to see how the other’s business is going on and chat shit about everyone basically. Lol. We loved chatting shit so much yesterday evening over wine that an old Yorkshire man, who was stood with his wife, stopped us and shouted across the outside ‘smokers’ patio…

‘Can I just say, you two look REeeeeEEEALLY HAPPY.’

Me: We’re talking about strip clubs and he’s moaning about £20 for a 3 minute dance, prices of them….HAHAH.’

The wife smiled, apologized for her husband, when she didn’t really need to… and said,

‘Aww, they’re just mates. Y’can tell…Especially if they’re taking about strip clubs, I’d whack you one..’

Everyone burts into laughter and the Yorkshire man finished off by shouting,

‘Bloody hell…Sorry. i didn’t realize. I just thought you looked happy, like you were gonna run off and plant daffodils or something.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love people. I love funny strangers. He properly made my evening. Then he left.

But yes, after ‘House of Solo’ moaned about dodgy strips clubs in Wakefield.

Me: ‘As if you’re so stupid that you don’t know anything about strip clubs…They don’t just walk around fucking naked you idiot. You have to pay for that! Lol. That’s the WHOLE POINT!’

House of Solo: ‘Where’s my burger???’

Me: ‘Hahaha! You look like a zero swag dickhead, having to hold a basket of condiments with you, wherever you go!!’

Anyway, we then got talking about our careers. I was telling him about the stuff that I had going on, my collabos, my meetings, the investment deals, showing him my social stats and where I wanted to be headed this Summer career wise. And he’s always really positive about it with me, but at the same time keeps it real…Kinda like I am. I’m the same way. We’re straight talkers. However, i’m far more charming.

‘It’s only because you’re a girl…that’s why you have MAD followers…It’s harder if you’re a guy.’

Then I started talking about some of the recent Vlogs I’d been watching and Blogs people had or hadn’t been writing and how I thought they were doing, as personal brands. Some people get it? And some people JUST DON’T. I mean GOD! I love talking about other people’s blogs and vlogs…and gobbing my opinion of them as a brand. I get away with it, because my patch of cyberland is sassy. It gives me a the ‘green light’ to swear about other people’s patches all I want. 🙂

If you’re gonna be blogger or a vlogger that intends to *jiggly wiggly* into the world of personal branding, then you pretty much should be able to EXPRESS yourself PERSONALLY. If you can’t, or don’t..and I can always see through those that are uncomfortable or faking it…Your personal brand will just never work. It’ll just be boring, unauthentic…and like everyone elses. *SNOOZE* The idea is that you are true to who you are…YET, even if you are true to your voice in cyberland, you’ve got to have that ‘something, something’ that is simply captivating…Without that, in a business of ‘show’ you’re fucked.

I should have a ‘Swear tin’or something? Every time I SWEAR i’ll tinkle some change into a tin and when it’s full, I’ll give all the dodgy made money to charity. That’d be awesome. ‘Wunna swore for Guide Dogs’ or something? I could save lives and everything…Shame i’m not in the right heels. 😉 I’ll have to book in into next season’s diary. 🙂

Anyway, ‘House of Solo’ got his burger, I got a posh berried gin, as he showed me his front over ideas for the next edition. He’s doing four separate covers…and one of them I ADORE. It’s a shocker. I’m gonna PR the balls out of it for him and just because I think it’s SOOOO ‘out there.’ It’s gonna open eyes. (And no, it’s not a Wunna crotch shot…as really…that wouldn’t be too shocking to most,and my crotch isn’t that ‘High Fashion.’ Lol. Who knows, we could plonks some Burberry on it and whip it down a runway?)

Long story short, we quit chatting about our work…and just drank a bunch of gin with berries in.

House of Solo: ‘I want a fruity gin..’

Me: ‘When did The Carlton start doing bouji gin..?’

I love how all bars are now going on this ‘Gin is all BOUJI and new’ thing. IT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR DECADES. Y’know ‘Mother’s ruin’ and all that! But i’m not complaining. My drink was delicious and served to me by my old school friend ‘Pogson.’

Me: ‘Are we the last ones in here, cos you’re turning the lights off?’

Pogson: ‘Nooo, i’ve poured myself a Peroni, you’re fine.’

Anyway, we ‘House of Solo’ and I quit talking about work and started chatting about our love lives. (This is after we had politely slagged everyone off…Lol)

‘What? Chrissie! She just bums you..’

‘Yeah. I like it when people do that! Lol.’

But, yes…he was telling me about his happily tragic love life and I was telling him about mine…yet….in snippets…as believe it or not i’m always quite private about mine, so i’ll let you tell me everything and i’ll tell you bits…the unimportant bits, to keep you happy. I’ve been getting loads of messages from guys over the last few weeks (because i’m a chick with boobies) rambling on about if i’m ‘single, single, single‘ and then being in a mood because I won’t reply, which makes me ‘ignorant.’ Lol.

BLAH.

I’m not ignorant. I’m just busy and i’m not someone who’s gonna waste your time, or mislead you. I think that’s wrong, as you can never get your wasted time back. But I read all your messages and i am very flattered. Don’t think I’m not…and don’t call me ignorant, just because I don’t reply. Lol. Use a different word like ‘swine‘ to get my attention. It’s rude and has reference to booze in it. It’s a winner!

If i’m being honest…There’s obviously someone i’m in a swirl about I think he’s awesome. I really fancy him. He’a a great guy. And when it comes to things like that…as in ‘swirls,‘ I’ve kinda got a one track mind…Meaning, if i’m in a swirl, or I like a guy…it’s pretty hard, for you to get me, to like you more…unless the swirl has…well…swirled off. Lol

Anyway, I gave ‘House of Solo’ love life advice and he gave me guy advice…We gave each other advice, on how important it was to refrain from ‘playing it cool’ …cos sometimes you can plays something SO COOL, that nothing gets done…He moved forward with his mode of action and if i’m being honest, over the past week, I’ve really thought about ‘my swirl‘ a lot. I’ve been busy and working…but…

Whatever…in that moment I felt all inspired, we both did…So we reached for our phones..

Unfortunately for him, his phone died and ran out of charge..Lol. WHAT A BALL ACHE. It ran out of charge RIGHT WHEN HE NEEDED IT.

Mine phone didn’t…

And with a. ..

‘I’m thinking about you…I’m kinda missing ya lots…’

… at around 10.22pm

Everything in that moment felt wonderful.

 

 

 

You won’t be a dickhead forever…

Great day! I’m feeling all squeaky, peaceful and on the whole… quite awesome. I’m feeling invincible, like nothing can really get to me.I’m together, cheeky, gentle, but alive. I’m feeling focused. I have a ‘bullesye’ trigger stare right now, as i’m kicking all that is seemingly negative under a dodgy rug, away from Wunna land for some other person to find and deal with…I’m good at the emotionally decluttering. It’s healthy for you. If something is not enhancing your life, or soul…don’t waste time on it. Embrace the things, people opportunities or situations that do! I’m a decisive girl, so i’ll never feel trapped in a muddle. I’ll always slip on a better set of heels and strut onward with a life *beam,* a gentle sass and OWN the path that I chose. People feng shui their homes, yet they forget to feng shui their souls. Don’t be that douche.

I’m feeling loved. I mean, when I got home from work today, (and i’m working hard) Baby Junior, my little son, the littlest Wunna in all the land, dashed up to greet me with cuddles and this crazy unconditional laughter that oozed utter Mummy love. It made me feel great! I’m so lucky! It’s those moments that help me realize how happy I am. Junior is such a pudding. I LOVE HIM. Ruby’s ace because she is ever inch ‘WUNNA LAND.’ This means we bicker…but i’d rather have a feisty daughter, than one that is terrified to speak her mind.

The careers going well. Better than I could’ve ever imagined, really. It could be better, but it’s turning into a good place and parking up. I’ve taken some shit wrong turns in my life, haven’t I! Some of you have come on the journey on me, no matter where you are in the world. Some of you have just checked in. You were smart. You came for the party. Good timing.

Right now and because i’m much older and wiser…I’m gracefully dancing to the beat, instead of tripping over heels in a muddle. I’m no longer trying to control or manipulate the things that I can’t meander and it’s great because it makes you feel free and helps you benefit from the things that are yours…Good things will come to you…the right people will find you. The best people will help you. Don’t stress over pressure or dumb shit that doesn’t really matter in the long run. Enjoy what you have and where you are. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Don’t forget to love it…even if it seems like things are going shit  or not exactly to plan…You can feel vunerable FOR A BIT…That makes you human. But then you just need to get over it, because there are great things ready for you, just around the corner. PLUS, pity parties are just not sexy and I am living proof that anything can happen to anyone! I’ve watched great things happen to people in life and it’s inspired me to have faith in the *magic.*

Don’t go against the grain of what is right for you!

Y’know, last year..this time last year, i was all cut up over love and boys and all this other crap…and selling myself all kinds of short. I didn’t realize at the time. We never do, do we? Lol. It was only really when it came to November that I decided to give myself a shake and concentrate on making my life worth it. I wanted this blog and my world to be a HIT. I focused and it worked. Everything changed. It went *ZOOM* in almost weeks.

This year, hasn’t had anything to do with love really. (Aside from ‘the swirl’ ofcourse) and y’know, i’ve met some ASTOUNDINGLY amazing people. All of them to do with work and opportunities…or even new friendships. And they all sort of just tinkered themselves into Wunna land. by accident, yet almost like they were meant to? Like this accidental Wunna force dragged them to me. (Yes, I think my life mojo is that powerful. Lol.) I’m loving it. I just hope that everything all works out for everyone in this year..but kinda mainly just for ME. Lol. I’m five months in and still going strong. Come on 2017! Gimme something juicy!

People are saying that the year is flying by. To me…it’s only May. so much can change in a day or a phone call in my world….Be it good OR bad….I have a whole lot of year left to conquer…AND I WILL! I’m an emotional soul, so i’m going to need fruity umbrella drinks to survive it. If there’s cocktails…I’ll smash this year with winks, victory air punches and a whole lot of love. Watch this glittery space. I’m ready now….Strap *the fuck* in.

I’m not gonna lie…there’s stuff going on in my head, when it comes to work and love. But there’s always gonna be stuff going on in your head, unless you’re utterly numb to emotion and thought. I’m happy. I’m too much of a firecracker to ever rest at the *numb* station. Even when I die, I’m sure, i’ll be able to squeeze out a *wink.*

But life’s about that isn’t it, conquering the ‘shit bits’ with ‘the jollies.’ We’re gonna have stress or situations that fill us with anxiety and turns everything upside down. Shrug it off, feel empowered, be confident and have faith that life is gonna treat you right, in the end. You’re not going to be a dickhead forever.

HURRAH!

Be THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. I mean being able to rise from any dodgy situation with a positive flag of ‘in your face‘ life makes you SO powerful as a human and because there’s weirdly so many people who having found the knack of doing it yet. It puts you ahead of the game. Lol. And don’t get this twisted. I’m not saying don’t FEEL the bad parts. The bad parts are there to be felt. The quicker you feel them..the quicker you’ll get over them.

I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that I told Lynne (who’s in her sixties) during a moment where in which she suggested that she had felt a little pressured…to just *FUCK IT.* She smiled, laughed and said,

‘Y’know what, I’m gonna do JUST THAT!’

It made me smile.  I love the Wunna magic.

I’ve heard stories of uncontrollable situations, where a friend of mine forgot how powerful she is. I explained her power to her via whatsapp and she returned to her fiery self, because I reminded her that there was NOTHING IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD that her SASS and SMARTS could not FIX. She’s far too cunning to lose anything that she is passionate about and it’s sexy!

My guy friend ‘Dipper,’ well he had people crawl back to him today…(OOooh, ‘The crawl back!)

Me: ‘Yeah, but are you gonna fuck them off?’

Dipper: ‘Yeah, course I am! Well…no not really, i’m gonna welcome them back with open fucking, *I need you* arms…HAHAHA’

(I loved that….It’s hilarious…and again…powerful.)

‘Double D’ who three weeks ago was SO glum, crying and devastated about the breakup he had with his girlfriend, today was all..

‘Well…we were only together for six months really…Lol’

(Made me smile. I totally watched him get over it…)

I sent someone a text today. One that they didn’t expect. It made them *BEAM* as it was a ballsy text, that they never ever in a million years thought that they would receive at 4.02pm today.

(Again. It made me smile.)

So, no matter where you are, or what situation you’ve got going on…BE IT GREAT OR SHITTY….KNOW that no matter what…great things will happen to you…They are literally just around the corner…

Have wine…enjoy your time…shove on a song…and live it.

 

Sassy, Bank Holiday Sexiness…

I’M HAPPY!

I’m sprinkled in a confetti fun, dazzled with a giddy charm. I’m feeling flirty, fun rebellious. I’m enjoying my life to the max. I’m laughing with my chick friends, tinkering in the art of business and winking at strangers who deserve a bit of love from Wunna Land. Right now this weekend…even though i’m feeling a bit chubby, I’m totally on top of my game and DOLLS it feels FUCKING GREAT!

I’m enjoying every waking inch of my Bank Holiday weekend. You only live once. I’m loving it.I’m living it and doing everything that I want, when I want. I think there might even be sunshine! I’ve loved, danced and done candy flossed ‘toy store’ openings with my GORGEOUS little Wunna babies. They rinsed me. I didn’t care. If you work hard and can’t spend your money on the people and things that you love, then you’re doomed. I’ve lunched with family. I’ve drank salted rimmed margaritas at Ego in Ackworth. I’ve Pornstar Martini’ed it at city centre pitstops ( I LOVE A POP UP BAR) and over the finest wine, the most delightful lunches and VIP tables that I couldn’t turn up to, I’ve had fun. I’m happy and the great thing is that this weekend, I’m not suffering fools. I’m taking not shit. No nonsense and embracing every part of me that feels powerful.

IT FEELS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

I’ve had lots of my chick friends ask me a great deal about love and how it all works, how men work, how life works with them etc…and FIRSTLY…I’M DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BEST BET. I don’t win stars in that category. I’ve had my heart break and heal so many times that nowadays, each time new love comes striding into Wunna land, I smile, go with it and just keep my fingers crossed with hope good intentions and laughter. That’s all you can do. I know girls like to ‘fuss.’ But i like to keep things simple. If a dude likes you, he’ll like you..and he’ll come get you and if he doesn’t…he won’t. You don’t have o put your life on hold, or worry for nothing. If he adores you…he won’t lose you. Yet, I will say that I have noticed from some of my closest chickdaees that once a guy does ‘get you’ and feels all ‘slipper comfy’…which don’t get me wrong is lovely…sometimes…they forget that to make sure their girl is feeling adored, appreciated and loved. We’re weird ones, us girls. It’s something we always need to feel. Even when we feel it ourselves. When we love, we love whole heartedly, don’t we? We come shooting out that canon head first, in a swirl of love madness. It’s nutty. But hilarious.

Men aren’t the same. They’re growers. *Wink wink* They grow to love…after an initial infatuation..which is pretty sensible, on the whole..Lol. My LA friend Dylan, once explained this to me whilst chucking pasta to a wall, in strips, to see if it was cooked,as a really rummed up Magician decided to get really drunk because no one loved him? Anyway he told me, that men where like trains… and that they needed to *chug* along merrily, with no pressure before they eventually decide to THEN go through the tunnel… slooooowwwwwwlllllllyy…. and once they do and the come out the other end…. they’re apparently hooked, ready and at that point will love you more than anything? He must’ve been pissed? What the fuck was she on about? Dickhead? And that pasta wasn’t cooked. Lol.

Yet, anyway, we as chicks have become so independent, that we’ve cut the guys so much slack when it comes to making them BE MEN. We’re all self sufficient and bouji and can do love, business and life all by ourselves now, can’t we? All that’s great, as I wave the flag for a hard working kitten. I am one. BUT I like to keep love ‘old school’ in a modern day world. It’s hard isn’t it? I’m unconventional, fun and wild, yet i’m a sucker for a guy that knows how to love, goes for what he wants and as he beams, makes her beam like there’s nothing in the world more precious. Like a whirlwind of sensual, magical, yet innocent stars swirl around you both…it’s filled with  trust, loyalty, fun, sex and romance. It pisses all over Tinder. I hate all that shit.

But enough about love! It’s Bank Holiday Sunday! YEAH DOLLS! 2 for 1 cocktails for everyone!

Y’know why i’m feeling so great? It’s because i’ve pulled my kitty socks up and got shit done. I’ve had fun, met up with friends, lunched, drank and had the most divine time with my babies…BUT THIS WEEKEND, after a long week of work (and I did feel sorry for myself all last week) I’VE MANAGED TO GET BE SO PRODUCTIVE AND ACTUALLY GET SHIT DONE.

I’ve smashed it and loved it. No feeling is better to me than that feeling of actually committing to being productive and seeing the results from it. I know!!!

I’ve made sure that i’m all over your news feeds, i’ve replied to all of my messages, I’ve drawn you to fan pages, instagram pages, Tweeted my way into your lives and Snapchatted bits of life, to beckon you into Wunna land like I have Haribo in my pocket or something. 🙂 It’s worked and right now, you’re being a great audience. It almost turns me on. Lol. I mean, I only put in a BIT OF WORK to see what would happened. So if I got my glitter elbow grease out….I’d nail it. I’m feeling really confident. It’s crazy. I’m on FIRE! It’s sexy. I’m feeling sexy. 😉 I mean, I might have even felt so sexy that I Googled Porny Gifs to utilize my feeling of ‘sexy’ into ‘expression. LOL. Just me. No one else. Keeps you out of trouble. What? It’s good for you! 🙂 I’m like a dog on heat right now. I don’t know what’s up with me? I need 24 cold showers…and a seat belt. I’m feeling ‘more than usually’ kinksville. I need to slow my libido roll down.

I love these moments where I put down my daiquiri and make hay whilst the sun’s still shining. I’m ambitious so when I see results..I love it. I’m brimming over with this cheeky prosecco bubbliness. I feel amazing and I hope you do to!

My mind works weirdly, so as Jack Parson’s had told me I’m getting ideas, jotting my them down, whacking them on my walls on Post It’s and slowly putting together a plan. I’m NOT business minded. I’m a creative. I’m really creative. I’m an entertainer. So its almost like I have to approach business creatively or with more thought…OR just work with/hire the right people.

I hope you’re going to enjoy today?I have a few errands to run, before cocktails in Leeds. My friends are either out or doing date night, home life lunches or babies….I mean ‘The Mighty’ (who has managed to produce a second child) text me last night determined to FIND FUN in Leeds, when we were all at home. Lol. I knew that Mel was out, as I met her, Alex & Esme at Ego whilst they lunched and I handed them Garden Centre soap. Lol.

‘Are you trying to say I smell?’

‘Does Esme want a Mocktail. Ruby’s getting one?’

Anyway Mel went off and did hotel night with ‘Her Gary.’ I want a hotel date night. They’re always so much fun. There’s something so sexy sounding about them, right?

But yeah, I’m tired of typing now….

Enjoy the sun…as i’m definitely sure that I want to be laid on some inflatable cactus lilo right now, with a fruit umbrella drink in my hand, about some sunny pool, in a hot pink or leopard string bikini.

I have a shoot tomorrow…I boudior shoot so to speak with Claire Pritchard. She’s an AMAZING photog. I can’t WAIT to be a ‘fallen angel.’ What could be sexier? AND as you may tell…I’m feeling somewhat sexy right now. I’m embracing it as it’s my thing. It’s how I feel and where I feel most comfortable. I love sensuality. I love sexiness…in all forms. More than anything I love being a girl…We should embrace our womanhood more. It’s so powerful, it’s scary. I’m looking forward to filming my Vlog.

Ps/ I’ve spend the morning being obsessed with David Beckhams Instagram page. It’s amazing. You can’t help but love The Beckhams can you? I adore them. They’ve smashed it.

Ppps/ I love that someone actually Googled ‘Sumo Porn’ yesterday and found themselves here on this blog. You dirty bastard. Hilarious.