The Day I Got Played, Threesomes & Raps…

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

Chick Friend: What you up too?

Me: ‘I’ve been working since 4.30 this morning.’

Chick Friend: ‘But what you up to now?’

Me: ‘I’m sprawled on my goddamn bed, in a sequin bikini, trying to influence a necklace..’

Chick Friend: ‘Get to the pub please…I need to speak to ya..’

Afternoony, my ‘Cheeky Cheekies!’ How are ya! Great weather again. Life is grand. I’m feeling hormonally imbalanced….but on the whole good. I’m stressing over nothing, as per usual….but i’m getting the hang of letting my mind rest. There’s a lot I have to do, or feel like I need to accomplish right now…and that is twirling through my head. Probably why, I’m pouring that extra glass of vino. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, yesterday I got to hang out with a new friend of mine, ‘J.D,’ who’s actually ‘Katy P’s’ mate…over a quick iced wine. J.D’s always great to just sit and chat with, in the sunshine (yes only in the sunshine, I don’t have friends in the rain,) because he’s like Buddha. Lol. He’s all calm, but fun..yet insightful. He always has a really shit love life, however really great at giving honest love life advice.

Honesty, maybe a week ago, he told me to send a guy a message, that i would never have sent…

JD: ‘He’ll definitely respond to that…He’s waiting for you to show interest..and if he doesn’t…He’s not worth ya time..’

I listened. It worked and now Katy P, J.D and I always do afternoon wines, when free.

So, yesterday, I was rambling on about how the people in LA are far less judgmental and far more open, than they are here in the UK. I mean growing up in West Hollywood..anything goes! No one judges anyone, on anything and mainly because everyone in that town is in entertainment, be you a model or an actress…and on a daily basis, as you are going from audition to audition, at Warner Brothers, Disney, Paramount…some casting office….you are being heavily JUDGED constantly….for work.

There’s also the fact that so much shit goes on, that we’ve kinda seen, been and heard it all. The things that would be seen as taboo over here, is taking with a pinch of..well…tequila over there. Lol

And ofcourse, because i’m a plank, the example I used was this…

‘Well one day, a chick friend of mine came into work, looking all glamourously worried and she kindaย  just whispered to me that she had had sex with a co worker (we all worked in a celebrity gym at the time Lol) AND HIS MATE…at the same time….the night before.’

I described the incident in more graphic detail for JD. ๐Ÿ™‚ Let’s just say…she as BUSY. Hahaha.

Infact, let me take you back about 14 years….(as if it’s been that long, ) this is how the story went…We’re at Crunch Gym, on Sunset, West Hollywood….checking in for a shift…

Chick: ‘Omg. So I had accidentally had a threesome last night with Rob and his mate…What the fuck…I’m like working with him later…’

Me: ‘Omg. NO! Hahah. After work… the night before, he asked me back to HIS…AND I had sex tooo! Not with his mate though. Lol. Shit. I sent him that needy as fuck text…Haha. I send him the needy as fuck text…when you were giving him a blow job. Hahaha.’

Chick: ‘Hahaha. He’s totally done us over.’

And yes, you may think this is all rather slutty etc etc…blah…But it’s life and well in Hollywood….being a young 20 something….Shit like this DOES NOT MATTER. It doesn’t even nearly graze the surface, of what you’ll actually go through.

So me, being me…and I’ll about ‘airing and sharing,’ I decided to wait until Rob came on his shift, so I could confront him. ๐Ÿ™‚ We’re girls. We like to see a boy squirm.

It went like this…

Me: ‘Yo Rob…’

Rob: ‘Hey..’

Me: ‘You totally slept me with and then had a threesome with ******* the next night. I sent you that needy text…Just make like that didn’t happen…’

And you know what he did…because a BRITISH BOY, would have gone white with panic, tried to figure out some kind of last minute excuse, admitted it sheepishly, pretended that he hadn’t heard you, or just be all cocky because he’s been caught out.

Rob *paused* then PISSED HIMSELF LAUGHING. Lol. Literally laughed SO LOUD, in my face that he almost teared up and cried. He found it that funny, that he managed to play us both.

And because’re we’re LA…and he had just shouted out a ‘YES’ with an air pump… I started laughing…then my chick friend, who was unfortunate enough to have the threesome started pissing herself…and just like that….it was forgotten about, taken so lightly, filed under ‘life’ and today we’re all STILL (14 years on) the best of friends. It’s such a great story…

But what I’m saying is, that if the same story happened here, with some of my UK chick friends…it would’ve been drama…for weeks, months, maybe even years…

So I guess doing my 20’s in LA, kinda made me open minded, open hearted and a hell of a lot more relaxed. Like you can’t shock me..at all.

I mean, even when all three of us were laughing, my roommate walked by, who also worked at the gym, (who was a super popular male model)..looked over, said this..

Justin: ‘What you laughing at?’

Me: ‘Rob had a threesome with ****, but slept with ME the night before.. I sent him a needy text…whilst **** was giving him a blow job…lol That’s how lame I am.’

Justin…’Uh….Do you wanna get lunch…?’

Like that is how much IT SHOCKED Justin…my roomy, because he was SO LA. Infact, i think he was actually dating a really famous Pornstar at the time…because she was always in our condo, watching ‘Jackass.’ Justin & I were really great roommates because we did everything together…and had the same friends. The only time we ever argued, was once when he marched up to the top floor (which was my floor) of our condo…utterly wasted and decided to throw a tantrum because I refused to have sex with him. Hahaha.

Long story short….Rob’s laughing and making fun of me didn’t end there…

He then proceeded to write and PERFORMย  RAP, that he had dedicated to ME called..

‘I hit, but I quit, because I found a better girl.’

Hahaha

He performed it with such vigor and even beat boxed it at me. Lol. I mean WHO DOES THAT…EVER…

Hahahaha.

But it’s such a hilarious memory….Plus, we were both models at the time and often we would get interviewed and asked how we knew each other and if we had any stories to share…

And being perfectly PR’d…we’d both just smile…make up a lame story, say we used to work together and hug…

Hahahaha.

I must have delivered my story in one whole breath, because I paused, looked up and JD….who is utterly SAINTLY. I mean, he’s such a gentleman, a bit wet maybe, some would say? Yet, such a good human. He looks out for people, selflessly…

I looked at him and he had thrown his head back in absolute hysterics, laughing SO LOUD and so hard that he was crying! ๐Ÿ™‚

It was almost as if, in that moment, I made this little saint of a friend…feel ALIVE…(fair enough, at the expense of my dignity Lol)…But what i’ll tell you, is that THAT is not only a gift, or a talent…Yet it is always why or how this little blog works….

Love ya,

Chrissie x

Ps, I’ve just got an Insta DM from one of my best LA guy friends Theo…and all it reads is..

‘I miss you.’

How sweet. ๐Ÿ™‚

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

 

 

 

 

Overnight Success, Carbs & Dwarves

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and outdoor

Two little, happy twin dwarf men, have been popping into my dreams for the past 3 nights in a row! (Don’t even ask. My mind is beyond any form of normality.)ย  They’re just happy as can be, chilling in my dream land….these two twin dwarves.

It worried me and made me eat a ton of carbs for safety. I stuffed everything into the most ‘macca’ sandwich you could imagine, that was filled with everything in the foodie world, that could possibly make theย ‘Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…’ list.

You would’ve burst into a euphoric sense of ‘NOM NOM.’ I even stopped being ‘Veggie’ for it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Or maybe that was the time I had pork scratchings?

On the whole, I’m having a lovely time. I’ve worked a great deal and been quite the ‘social’ queen, that I took the last couple days off away from picture taking and all the rest of the work…just to enjoy some family time with Ruby & Junior. I really cherish that and I used to blog & post about them, a lot more than I do now.

Not because ‘I don’t care’ and only care about ‘selfie taking..’ yet because that part of my life is so special to me…I keep it just for me, because it’s real. I treasure it. There’s a lot of things, that I keep just for me, now.

But back to the Twinny Dwarf Men. (Sounds like kinky a fetish.)

I eventually came to my senses and Googled the SHIT out of what this could possibly mean...??? (My Google History is the MOST BIZARRE sighting!)

Luckily, the omen is good.ย It apparently means that i’m quite possibly charmed, that i’ll rise to the top in life and be swirled with hood health…(hood health? Lol) I mean, GOOD HEALTH…. and jolly finances in the future? (Your health is actually your life currency. I always forget to be good to myself.)

HELLOOOO ALL THE COCKTAILS!

Right, so I’ve got lots going on and Wunna Land is slowly, but surely slipping on its sexy pants, attaching rockets to the frilly bits…and getting ready to..

*WHOOSH WHOOSH DADDIO*

I’ve always taken chances. Far less impulsively as a grown up. As a 20 something in Hollywood, I was an IMPULSE NIGHTMARE…I learnt a lot of lessons fast and KARMA WAS AN ABSOLUTE TOTAL BITCH. ๐Ÿ™‚ It made a decent 30 something year old. I’ll tells ya! And if you can’t be a decent ‘30 something,’ then you’re in BIG TROUBLE. I get that we all learn things at different speeds…But it’s much better to be wiser at 30 something, than to not.

Only DO WHAT YOU LOVE. Only do what you want. Be with someone who adores you. Who you adore. Respect them. Work hard. Take chances. Dreams come true all the time. Every moment of ever day, dreams have come true in my life…consecutively, throughout my whole entire existence.

Literally everything I dreamt of as a little one, in Yorkshire…came true and because I wasn’t afraid to give it a go. Win or lose. I was fearless. As a 13 year old girl, I told my mum and my friends, that I was going to MOVE to Hollywood, be a model and an actor….and marry a movie star. (Lol. That bit’s ‘cringe.’)

By the age of 21, I was there, in West Hollywood, at a ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ audition, I had got scouted at a coffee shop by a modelling agent… and an actor had got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. (We’re definitely divorced now, because we certainly weren’t right for each other.) BUT the point is, I did it. It happened. And I knew it would. I knew how that chapter of my life would happen, years before it did. I said it all the time, as a teen…and yeah lots of my teen friends, used to make fun of me for it…

But I did it… ๐Ÿ˜‰

Everyone always sees the success part! I say that a lot, don’t I.

But, I haven’t had it easy. GOD! I didn’t even have it easy until the end of last year. I’VE WORKED my kitten arse off…DAY AND NIGHT... and as a single mum of two…

I juggled EVERYTHING, in order to try and make things happen. I worked lots. I got home, looked after the babies, I blogged. I’d end up having to stay up late, to wait until Ruby & Junior were asleep. THEN wake up at 4.30am, to send out work emails, and hit the different time zones and whilst trying to negotiate ‘collabo’ deals…

At six o clock in the morning… my alarm would go off. I’d get ready for the day and wake the babies up, to do the school run, before smashing a REALLY BUSY work day and maybe even having to finish up late, jump on a train, work in a different city, sleep a little, and check out of a hotel at five o clock in the morning. (As my Mum looked after them.)

This is after having to wake up atย  4am, just to get ready….I’d arrive back home at around 7.30am..Do the school run and start the work process over again. ๐Ÿ™‚

SO…IT HASN’T BEEN EASY!

But…I DID IT!

NOW! LIFE IS EASY! ๐Ÿ™‚

So, yeah..I WILL HAVE a cocktail or FOUR, thank you very much. I’ll celebrate my life and inspire folk along the way.

Every single person who IS a success, has worked SO SO hard. They took risks. They didn’t settle for the life… they never wanted to lead. Yeah, they did what they had to, but their focus was always WHAT THEY LOVED. They made sacrifices. Even through the struggly bits, they believed in themselves. Even when they thought they didn’t…DEEP DOWN, they did.

And it started for me as a kid… I was at dancing school, after normal school…Then acting class, this class, that stage show, an audition here, an audition there…It started when I was five years old, after I BEGGED my little Burmese doctor parents to send me off to perform ANYWHERE, because I was definitely doing their heads in.

I loved it.ย  I lived for it.

DREAM BIG, WORK HARD. COMMIT TO IT.

(It’s the same when it comes to love.)

It’s weird, because I feel like, there are tons of people who DREAM of having a certain life…They want to LIVE that life….YET AREN’T WILLING TO PUT IN THE WORK, or take the chances?ย They try and short cut their way to it. (Yet, If you take a ‘short cut,’ you kinda get ‘cut short.’)

And then you have the people who grumble and ‘hate’ on the people who are doing, or have done well. *YAWN.* Things like that, never bother me, because i’m pretty confident and emotionally grown. I’ve been through everything and back again, in stilettos and with a wink.

But I know, that a lot of people find it difficult…So listen up…

When someone hates on you, it’s NEVER about YOU and ALWAYS ABOUT THEM. They’re really transparent & very usually a keyboard warrior.’ So, if you’re getting hated on along the way, don’t let it bother you. Keep doing what you love. I’ve NEVER seen a hater, have a better life, than the person they are actually having a go’ at. And I’m saying this because I watched a really talented human get ‘hated on’ socially by his friends, simply because he went to an audition to be on a TV show. I hope that really talented human, becomes a really big success, one day.

It’s about taking chances without fear…and definitely having the ability to not absorb any negativity thrown at you and instead learning to use it as motivation.

(Why am I sounding like a Self Help book today??? Must be the carbs.)

I mean, on my ‘socials’ these days, I’m receiving a lot of ‘love’ from people and then once in a while, someone will pop into Wunna Land with their knickers all a twist, OR they’ll just be wanting to have a go at ‘trolling’… for attention.

I mean, a few weeks ago someone sent me a DM simply saying,

‘Nob..’

I’ll give’em that. Lol.

Then I recieved another one reading, …

‘You moronic fuck face.’

Yet straight afterward, they deleted their entire profile. Meaning, the last DM they wanted to send was TO ME…and they needed it to say the ABOVE. ๐Ÿ™‚

Hahaha…

It’s just life…How it is. Then two minutes later, my inbox and comment feed with filled with love.

Simples.

Laugh it off. Get on with your story…Be a success.

I always reckon, it’s the ones that have chosen to do something out of true LOVE and passion…dipped in determination, be it loud or quiet, that get the best results.The ones that have put in the years of time, years of effort and have steadily grown their own world of ‘clout’…that make it and LAST.

They didn’t take the short cut…they carved their own looooooooooong, steeeeeady path and walked it,ย ALL THE FLIPPING WAY…with a wine.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, tree, plant, outdoor and nature

Happy Weekend!

Chrissie.

PS/ Pardon my preachiness.

PPS/ I need to go on a diet. Someone help me!