Succeeding On Purpose….

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. You can do anything. And I don’t mean that in a cliched ‘Yeah, you can’ cheerleader kinda way, I really mean it. Put your mind to ANYTHING, work really hard to get there, keep your goal in focus, be great at what you do (which is important…don’t forget to be great at what you do, or get great at it ) and go for it.

People who are different to you, will sometimes make you think that what you’re trying to achieve is impossible. They’ll laugh at you. Put you down. Tell you that…

‘..it’s impossible.You’re stupid. You’re impossible. You’re stupid…’

But you’re not. It’s baby steps. And I guarantee that if you take the right steps and you have faith in your own ability to achieve, without taking a single bit of notice of those who have alternative dreams to you and do not believe in your cause, (we’re all different and that’s what’s great about us,) you will not ONLY GET THERE…but when you do, those same people will be telling THEIR friends a story of how they knew you, know you, met you or were with you. I cannot tell you how many times i’ve watched and witness that happen.

Dreams come true everyday. Don’t get it twisted.

The only reason why i’m writing this blog, is that sometimes I get so caught up in telling you the story of my own world, which is what I do and what I love to do…that I forget to hit *pause* and inspire you. Right now, I’m being called an ‘internet sensation’ (lofty title) and ‘internet sensations‘ have a voice, don’t they? More than I realized….

There are times when I’ll get so swirled up in a cocktail dripped glitter and a bound of naked leap frogging stories, my good times with friends and the ups and downs of my own life, that I forget to tell you that I made something out of nothing, just by being so dedicated to it and purely out of love. You can do the same! But only if you want to. If you don’t, then fuck it off and enjoy the sunshine. 🙂 But then don’t moan when other people make their dreams come true, because you prioritized inefficiently. Lol.

Back in the day…people use to say to me ALL THE TIME, when only a tiny handful of people would check into chrissiewunna.com daily and they’d ramble on about why I bothered doing it…I was called all sorts…openly. Really awful stuff actually. Lol. But I didn’t care, because at that time, years and years ago…I didn’t even know why I was disciplined enough to write it everyday? I just loved doing it. I loved telling my story. That’s all I knew…that’s why I did it. It still makes me happy.

YEARS ON…that little blog on Myspace, that I used to write on display computers at the Apple Store at The Beverly Center in LA, ended up being some ‘hit.‘ It shocked me even! But I’ve worked hard. Infact, i’ve stopped agreeing with people who say that the blog has been a success by accident. Lol. Ten years is a long time to have been dedicated to something almost everyday. Surely I get a pat on the kitty back for that! 😉

The greatest thing about telling your story, is that no one in the entire world can do it better than you. Not one other person can be better at it, than you.

I get to speak freely, live openly and enjoy my world and story. I’m never afraid of what people think about me. I’m confident girl. More girls should be confident. I want to inspire that. I’m never afraid to say what I think about things, situations, people or places. I write a positive, good humoured blog. I’m warm by nature because i’m happy.

If people read something about me that shocks them…Well, that’s been my life. What can I do about it? All you have is your story. What else do you have? There’s been bad moments. (Which makes me human.) But there’s be GREAT MOMENTS and I’m living a GREAT MOMENT NOW!

If more people believed in themselves and didn’t act upon what others thought of them….things would be better. I don’t just mean that in work and business. I mean, you also see it in love..when girls or guys change who they are, or manipulate their natural personality in dying hope that the object of their desire will like them more. IT DOESN’T WORK IN THE LONG RUN. And i’m only saying it because I’ve done that in the past. Ofcourse I have. But i’m not a kid anymore sat infront of my laptop with a ‘Dear Diary..’ tag line, widdled in natural, growing up, ‘please love me‘ insecurities. Lol.

I’m all grown up  now and I grew up fast emotionally because I had to…. so much shit happened to me, both good and bad…and let me tell you it feels GREAT!

Nothing feels better than the way I feel now, and I wish I could bottle it up and sell it to you, like zillions of people say they can, with ‘self help‘ books this and ‘aid you with life’ that.

But I can’t. No one can. Why? Well, because you kinda have to go through your own story, your own ups and own downs and champion through your own version of life, to get to a place where you can finally kick off your kitten heels and feel comfy.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t so something…

You’ve got it in ya….Find your thing and go for it…

🙂

Ps/ Just as i’ve been writing this, a friend has messaged me saying…

‘Wunna you’re so jammy. As if you’ve managed to finally have an entire career where you just get paid for existing and telling people about it.’

I think I deserve a prosecco!

PPS/ The above picture was one of the shots that was captured by Clare Pritchard, I blogged about my shoot with her and how amazing she was at getting you to tell a story, via your eyes, your soul, your snapshot. That day I became her ‘Fallen Angel’ and you can tooooo! She is the MOST TALENTED photographer around and I have shot with SO MANY PEOPLE all over the entire world. Who knew that the best one, was right on my doorstep!

clarepritchardphotography.com

PPPS/ I had a wobble today, so I messaged Jack Parsons who i’m lucky to know and meeting again for business in July. He is currently listed in the TOP TEN Digital Leaders of the year! In five minutes he turned my ‘wobble’ back into confidence. It is important that you have ‘go to’ people for those of times of ‘wobble.’ Find them. They’ll help you. And not because they benefit from you, but because they actually care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

London Business Trips & Brambles

Busiest weekend!

I glamorously fluttered from a full week of work, juggled the babies, winked wit a wine and then after a few hours sleep, I was up, getting changed and headed to London on Saturday for a really important meeting. I had another really important meeting that I ended up having to Skype whilst en route to Platform 3A to Kings Cross. It’s always weird doing a work Skype call in really public places, as you feel like a dickhead whilst you’re trying to sell yourself. Everyone glares at you likes you definitely have the lergy. But at least I had gin and tonics in my handbag. I kept shit bouji. It got me over the ‘pretending that I didn’t notice everyone glaring at me.’

Right, I’m just going to skim everything, as far too much has happened and I don’t have time to fit it all in. Plus, I have work in an hour.

Got to London in one sassy stop, was two hours early for my meeting, so I took my blue pin striped self to The Plum & Split Milk (which is one of favourite ‘by a train station’ cocktail joints. It’s delicious and decadent, with good looking waiters and chandeliers. But more importantly..the food and cocktails are DIVINE and made with love.)

This American guy started talking to me at the bar. He had always wished to go to LA, but spent his time in Philly. His sister was getting married in Scotland, which found him in London sat by me at a bar. He was smart and new lots about news and current affairs. Y’know, stuff that I’m shit at. However, I got him talking about men, sex and love…just in general 🙂 and after his eyes kept wandering to my boob line…I knew my time in his world was done and that I had stamped my mark on his life path for probably ever.

‘I feel like i should know who you are?’

‘I’ve got 3 minutes to get to my meeting…Nice meeting you. See ya!’

(I look to the bartender…)

‘Where is the Karpo Grill?’

Shot across the busy London streets by Kings cross, in my mini skirt and shirt, with 1 minute to go and a really big meeting ahead of me. I didn’t bring a coat..I was freezing, but as soon as I got almost outside the ‘Karpo’ door, there was a guy, a fun, warm business guy waiting for me with a smile..

‘Chrissie?’

‘Yeah, yeah…HI!’

‘It’s just straight down there…All the way down…’

Karpo Grill is a great place to chill and have a meeting. As soon as I tottered down, I felt cosy and comfy…Two other members o the team were there, so I ordered a wine and we got chatting…(I LOVE THESE PEOPLE. Their project is amazing…and if it’s done right, it will BLOW UP.)

Obviously, I can’t tell you anything about my meeting, other than banter, maybe naughty natters, a look to the future, sexiness, wine and agreeing business collaborations. There may have been talks about chimps, lovers, chips and peeky train rides. AND I DEFINITELY randomly started CHOKING on my burger, because I kept getting excited and talking with my mouth full. I really did choke. It was embarrassingly hilarious..and they were so polite that they didn’t make my embarassing choke festival a ‘thing.’ It was great! 🙂 More wine!

But yes, four very different people sat at a long Karpo table…yet the perfect elements to help smash one of the biggest projects about to infiltrate your lives…Were all very smart in our own areas of expertise.

I’ve signed and NDA, so that’s all I can wink at ya. But I am SO excited to be part of one of the most exhilarating projects that you WILL BECOME ADDICTED TO. It’s sexy, sassy, so creative and has never been done before! You will be hooked! As like I said, I have never been so excited for a project before, the way I am with this.

STAY VERY TUNED!

Then with five missed calls from my fabulously camp Liam. (He was in London overnight to get ready for filming the next morning for a TV show,) i had to dash off as fast as my kitten feet to take me.

I air kissed everyone goodbye, thanked them…and in a whirl…I swooshed away, out of one glass door, across more busy streets and into another…which lead me to a corner table, in a swooshy cocktail bar, as Liam sat there with a smile, a drink already ordered for me…and a sparkle in his eyes, which meant that we were going to have the best gay/girl banter that you could only have on a Saturday night, over Brambles in London…

That night I agreed to get kidnapped by the Gays…

To be continued…

I need to get to work.

 

 

 

Book Tours, Diamonds & Slay Games

‘Right!! The first one out of you two to get a *rock* on it….wins!!!’

Two of my delicious little chick friends are dancing in the ‘let this be forever’ stage of their relationships. A stage that no guy really knows about. Yet all their chick friends hear about!

‘Fairytale Blond’ does love via a Disney text book, so she ofcourse a ‘year in,’ she would be helplessly  hoping for a bit of official Prince Charming commitment. New love….New House…New Diamond.

Mel…is my unconventional, sassy, ‘I’m getting married in red’ sex machine. You don’t fuck with Mel. She turns red with anger and then eats Jelly Babies to calm her sore vulva.

Now, she’s already discussed ‘lets do forever’ with her Gary (who I saw yesterday but couldn’t look in the eye because my imaginative mind kept physically picturing all the rampant sex that he had been having with her…in porn form. All he did was walk past me and say ‘Hi‘ and my head imagined him eating Mel out, so I had to run and hide. Hahahah! Code for: I just sat there staring and imagined it.)

‘I just can’t look him in the eye now that I’ve heard all these filthy stories.’

Anyway, whether they’ve discussed ‘forever’ or not…I’ve decided to spice up their lives a little, by forcing them to play the ‘ROCK ON IT’ game. A casual game, where I watch them both secretly *fight* it out to get a proper proposal…for kicks. Hustle Barbie could probably play this too, yet she wants to start a glamour modelling career and marry D’Acampo. And well Double B….Hahaha…the game would be tooo easy. Jordan and his ‘Jackson Five’ penis would marry her in a wink.

Mel: ‘Yeah, but we’ve already talked about…’

‘Nope, it doesn’t count, until you walk into this room… with the rock on it. 🙂 You walk in, you say nothing, you hold up your left hand up in the air and bling it.’

‘That’s fine. I’ll just tell Gary that I need to win and send him to the jewellers. Lol’

Fairytale Blond was quiet, with her heart all a flutter and then decided that Mel would win. Lol. (But she’ll play it strategically, as ‘Fairytale’ is not soft. She knows how to get what she wants.)

Mel: ‘What about you! You’d probably win this…!! Lol.’

Me: ‘Hahaha. Please. I have a hundred more months of sending nudes before that happens. LOL.’

So yeah…game on! Let’s see who wins! I’ll come back to this blog when one of them struts in with the ‘BLING HAND’ in the air. There’s nothing more fun than a ‘fucking up everyones love life’ game. 🙂

Life is great right now. I’ve a busy kitty and I’ve got my Friday feeling! Work is great! I’m juggling. But I’m gonna try and take so time off to focus. I’m not a ‘here, there and everywhere’ kinda gal. It may seem like that. But i’m the opposite to wishy washy. I’m driven and sharp, so I just need a moment, after yesterday’s delicious ‘early night’ to bundle myself together and chill. Calm mind, Great results.

I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again…EVERYTHING IN THE FUTURE WILL BE SOCIAL. So all of you hoping to smash the big time ‘Dollar, Dollar, Fame Ball’ with a boobie bounce of victory….KNOW that you need to meander your career or lives down a Social Media path. If you don’t start it now…you’ll get left watching everyone else succeed.

I started my blog 10 years ago. I didn’t even know why? Five years in…nobody knew why I bothered doing it…But I at that point understood where everything was headed ‘socially’….A couple years after that….EVERYONE’S A BLOGGER OR A VLOGGER and it was in that moment where I accidentally smashed it, because all those previous years of blogging both honed my craft, built an audience (which is what you need) and made my STATS AMAZEBALLS!

And yes, it’s harder to start a blog/vlog now…as your competition is much much greater. Yet, if you don’t try and you wish to partake in a career of that fashion….you’re stupid. In years to come, no one will be watching tv…your shows will be online…Glamour Models are now Instagram Models. She’s now not a beautician, she’s a Beauty Blogger. You have Business Men starting everyday vlogs. Secret Footballers writing daily diary blogs. My inbox is literally RAMMED with the most amazing people or brands who are wanting to appear on this blog, which is literally just the story of my life. So yeah, blogging and vlogging are two different things. Find out what you’re stronger at and go for it.

Anyway, away from that! I’ve been doing shoots. This morning, I’m excited to see some of the new pics that Claire Pritchard has shot for me, for her Fallen Angels Brand. I can’t wait to show you them, and you will be seeing them shortly, as I tease your little tinglers, with a slow release of online Wunna ‘look at me.’ Claire is one of the most amazing photographers, so I can WAIT shoot with her again shortly…as we have a Playboy/Kitchen shoot to do…this time i’m taking Prosecco. I love her so much. So yes, if YOU wish to be a Fallen Angel please shimmie on down to ..

clarepritchardphotograpnhy.com

The pics will be on my blog over the weekend.

I have a book out this year. It is the relaunch of ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss,’ yet i’m rewriting it, it’s being rebranded and ofcourse shot for again. I love a shoot. It now will be called ‘Dear Diary…’ and it’s taking you back to Volume 1 of my life…So it’s Chrissie Wunna (the naughty years. 😛 ) It’s a silly, but sexy bit of ‘all out there’ book. I’m sorting it all out now…and i’ll also be going on a signing tour, so you can get to meet me, have a chitter and well…if i’m being honest…just buy the flipping book. Hahahaha!

The eyelash line is also relauched at Christmas and I have a cheeky little secret that will popping up soon. (NO. IT’S NOT A BABY! LOL)

Ruby slept in my bed last night, as she does when Junior’s at his Daddy’s. I watch her when she sleeps and can’t believe how beautiful she is. We’ve come a long way. I’ve worked so hard and this is the first time in my life where I feel like i’m actually smashing it for them both. She’s six and waited until I had gone to sleep, just so she could sneak out of bed and stay up all night playing pretend pool parties.

‘What? I pretended to be asleep, so YOU would go to sleep and so I could get up and pretend Justin Bieber was at my pool party! I thought you said that we only live once!’

Ruby IS a terrifying MINI version of me.

Although, i’m celebrating a THANK FUCK it’s FRIDAY thing. Saturday i’m headed to London to meet with a Mr Kenworthy, in regards to a new project that i’m hoping to tinker with. Which reminds me, I need to finish off those questions. I’m trying to fit everything in, in blips. It’s not easy….sober. 🙂

But nonetheless, I can’t wait for the meeting and hopefully i’ll saunter out of it with a new business *notch* on my brand cycle..

Work hard. Get what’s yours. YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN. If you do it fucking well!

Take a shortcut…you’ll get cut short. Half ass it…you get a calm stream instead of a gushing river. Have a fall back plan? YOU’LL FLIPPING FALL BACK ON IT.

 

 

 

 

 

Dreams Come True, New Brands & Jelly Babies

I’ve had a great day and it feels so good saying it because if i’m honest, over the last couple days, i’ve felt shit. I’ve really sort of doubted myself and let my kitty mind get into a fucking tizzy. I got myself in a mood and surrendered to an odd case of the blues. (That’s why there was not blog.) Feeling like that is normal. So if you have days of the same kinda fashion..KNOW that you’re not weird, you’re human. But it really is only temporary. It is impossible for you to feel that shit all the time. But by all means, feel it. Have a wine. Feel it some more. Get over it. But be around positive energies. When you’re really passionate about things and want to do well, yet don’t play nicely with the art of patience, it’s hard to stay calm and all ‘coolio.’

But i’m back and i’m ace and I couldn’t be more fucking GLAD. I sent a Twitter DM to ‘Yourfeed Jack’ who is REALLY great at reining Wunna Land in and forcing me to believe and focus.

Jack: You can! What does success look like? You’re getting overwhelmed with all the possibilities and not knowing what the core is.’

I read this as I was stuck in traffic in Pontefract, by the Kings school at 8.34am.

After a few moans and moments of stress..I pulled myself together and with a..

‘Yeah..you’re right, I feel better now I forgot that I knew what I was doing, but yeah…I actually do. Lol. Yay!’

I pulled my sassy socks up and got on with it. From that point on…and whilst surrounded by the best chicks friends ever…i SMASHED IT.

Y’see the thing about this ‘dreams come true’ malarky is that you have to be emotionally sound enough to jolly the ride. I’d say i’ve been lucky enough in life, to have a lot of dreams come true. Not always…it would be a lie to sugar coat it, yet i utterly realize how great i’ve had it at times…and I appreciate it because of the struggly bits. The shit parts. I’ve achieved a lot, so much that I won’t believe it until i’m a granny, rocking and knitting and telling my stories to strangers on streets, with a rum. (I WON’T SMELL OF WEE.)

But you can start off with loads of ‘dreams come true’ early on and then suffer through nothing. OR start off with nothing and experience ‘dreams come true.’ (Which i think is better.) Either way…as long you have a good grasp of life, balance and reality, the ability to adapt and have decent people with you who ‘focus’ you, when you gleefully throw yourself down that panic slide with your arms in the air and a ‘weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,’ you’ll be fine. ADAPT! Get on with it. Get what life is about. Partner up well, so you’re not with a dickhead who makes you emotionally feel like a dollar, instead of a trillion dollar big bucks. You’re gonna need a team mate. Don’t get that part twisted. It’s love that makes the world go around…not a Lamborghini.

After my pep talk, I got into mode…a good mode…a swinging strut mode and fuck it, from that point onwards..I booked all sorts! EVERYTHING! I cleaned up with glitter winks. I had opportunity swinging from my nipples tassels because I believed I could do it. So don’t let anyone tell you that you CAN’T do something. If someone doesn’t believe in you, don’t worry, work hard…they will. THEN YOU’LL have the choice to decide if you can be arsed to to deal with them, when you’re waving your sexy success flag. That relates to work AND love. Be the BEST VERSION of yourself.

I had an exciting 12 noon phone call today. Oddly, I was stood outside part of a castle that was mixed in with a church..and I was on the phone to a new brand that I’m wanting to work alongside. They said that they were huge Wunna fans. ( I love that.) I then looked at what they did, and it shocked me because I BECAME FASCINATED with what they had created. I wanted a deal. They called me at noon, as I stood in a turtle neck in the sun, outside a church..and everything got so exciting, I almost burst. I can’t wait to meet them..

‘So, Chrissie, i’ve just been handed all this paperwork on you, that I feel like I KNOW absolutely everything about your life. I actually can’t believe how much is on my desk about you.’

Me: ‘I just want you  to know that I couldn’t be more excited about what you’re doing and I absolutely WANT to be a part of it all. It’s going to be HUGE.’

The day was ace after that point…so your mindset and having great people, friends or motivators around you mean everything. It changes the way you samba.  I sorted my shit out after that point…and I knew that I could do it.

This year, ‘The Gods’ have shimmied some crazily successful people in my path…People who have all at some point made their dreams come true. I haven’t caught the hint previously, as wine runs through my system…YET, I’m getting it now and i’m certainly not distracted by nonsense. Don’t be distracted my nonsense. Have fun, but keep your eye on the prize. (And maybe buy a kitten. I feel like all good people have a cat.)

I smashed all these random brand deals today because i forced myself to dance to the beat, instead of throwing a pity party. I now have a book relaunch this year. (It’s the same as the one before, yet this time it will be rebranded, reshot, renamed, relooked at and delivered appropriately…and I’m organizing a tour. FUCK IT YEAH! Pull ya socks up dolls. Get with it.)

Then I was forced to hide Jelly Babies from Mel, as Firmonnell put them in my drawer, after sh heard Mel had put on a pound or something at her slimming world weigh in. In the end I gave her them anyway. I mean fuck it..(and i’m currently on a diet) but sometimes a chick’s just got to eat a bag of Jelly Babies. I used to hate them as a kid, but now I love them. It’s weird because when I was a teen, I was a really good ice skater and loved it. (ANYONE who was born in the 80’s and also born in Doncaster is good at ice skating. That’s all we could do for a pastime.)  BUT NOW, i’m terrified of a skate around. I feel the fear. Even my best friend Kat, who I did the Paris Hilton Show with on ITV2, ( yes…she is no longer with us and chose to leave life tragically…We were really similar, but just dealt with things differently..I think about it all  a lot. I’ve thought about her all night. She just wanted to feel love. I remember being fresh off the show and getting that call from Samuel to say that she had killed herself. I was on Edgware Rd in London outside the Hilton…and like the twat that I am, all i could think to do was call her phone continuously, in hope that she would answer. I even left her a voicemail. She wasn’t even alive. I loved her so much…yet I didn’t even cry until 3 months after when it hit me. It was an odd time, as I was living this weird, new celebrity ‘reality star’ lifestyle…and a person that i had just gone through the entire new chapter with…had found it all so difficult. The last thing she ever said to me, face to face, as we didn’t have a phone call afterward, was whilst we were at The Mayfair Hotel in London, with Paris Hilton, in her suite. weeks after filming the show. She couldn’t turn a tap on because she was so trashed and she turned to me, as we discussed my love life and told me that i’d know when I found the man of my dreams because he would re..teach me how to ice skate. I’ve told that story numerous times before. I’ve never yet met a boy who offered to do that. Lol. They offer a lot of things…but not a skate sesh.

I have nothing but good memories of that girl. A girl who was totally misunderstood at times. But I got her. I got it. And I showed her strength..when she felt weak. HOWEVER…not when she needed it the most…because I was so busy being a ‘star.’)

Tonight, I did nothing but enjoy what I have. I laid in bed with my baby buntings Ruby and Junior and like every night, when I snuggle them in, (because they also spend nights with their daddies, which is so important for their balance) everything hits pause for a while, as the world turns and we just talk about life. I ask them both individually about their day, what went on, how things made them feel…how they’re currently feeling…and they’ll ask me questions in return. I’m a laid back Mum, so I let them tell or ask me ANYTHING. I encourage them to express…

‘Mum, are you Chrissie Wunna?’

‘Am I a Youtube Baby?’

‘Why are your boobs like that?’

‘I can’t kiss older boys when i’m only six, can I?’

‘I love you mum..’

If I could give you any advice it would be to believe that you can do anything. Go for anything you want to do! When you doubt yourself, ask for help to get you back to ‘jolly’ so you believe you can. Dreams come true. Not all of them, but most of them if you try hard enough and focus. I see it happen everyday. Be who you want. Embrace it. Love who you want. Hide Jelly Babies. But most of all, DON’T WORRY.. Don’t worry about your future. Go with the natural grain of your talent and where life takes you. Anything can happen. I mean fuck! I’m making a name for myself right now (and i’ve done a lot of things 😉 ) by simply writing a diary of my life…It’s one story our of billions…but it seems to be working?

In this day of age, you can make anything happen….Have great people around you. Believe your not shit.

All will be okay….I can always feel it. There’s a magic in the air.

Message me on Instagram today. Chrissiewunna.

 

 

 

 

 

Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

Cocktails, Banter & Love History

Double B: ‘Yeah but you’re always hung over on a Saturday…’

Firmonnell: ‘I still come in and DO WORK. Anyway, fuck off!!! YOU CAN’T TALK when you’ve once walked into work looking like a 192o’s DISHWASHER!!!!’

Double B: ‘Chrissie? Is this YOUR passport?’

(Shows me a passport of a young Chinese man…)

‘…just thought it was you without your weave in…’

Me: ‘LOL. Why are you ALL dickheads??? Anyway, shut up, i’m texting… Potter says he’s *got me sussed…?* What is he even on about?? Got me sussed? Like i’m some kind of …’

Double D: ‘Look at you. You just love all the attention. You need it now that you’re old..’

Me: ‘What the actual fuck! Leave me alone. Leave me in my granny corner to be old and quiet.’

Double D: ‘It’s just banter… GOD!!’

Me: ‘Hmmm…well I don’t like it. I’m sensitive…’

There is a *PAUSE*

Then as I peeked at Firmonnell via my little kitten eye..we literally burst into a hysterical, mid blowing belly chuckle! A chuckle so hard that we literally flung our heads back and maybe did LITTLE WEES in our Ann Summers/Bridget Jones frillies.

I have the greatest chick friends…they sort of worship me and ground me all at the same ‘abusive’ time. 🙂 You need your life soldiers. Ya chicks in heels. We support each other to the moon and back and even though we banter away with inappropriate humour, sassy tongues, tears or tantrums at times…. (It’s just what ‘us northerners’ do…) Alongside that, we build each other up so greatly, that there’ll never be a page in our diaries that reads, ‘I just never felt good enough..’

This chapter of my life is the changing chapter, yet it is currently a GREAT ONE. I’ll always remember it…Sort of like I remember my first ever LA chapter…when I arrived at LAX with nothing but a suitcase and my fingers crossed, as the warm air hit me. I also remember that in that time…I fell in love…It ran through my mind as I drove home yesterday after work. I haven’t spoken to Mikey (who was my first husband, when we were kids in LA, trying to be future success stories) and i’m someone who’s always really great with my exes. I’m apparently always ‘the one that got away.’ *Rolls Eyes.* I’m joking…Lol…I’m good friends with a lot of my exes and I do mean JUST FRIENDS. Not all of you though. Some of you I really do think are utter planks. 🙂 You know who you are…*POINTS FINGERS.*

Anyway, I thought about that time merrily because it was such a pure time before the birth of ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ so to speak. I was so innocent then and in that time I couldn’t have met a more perfect ‘team mate’ to do life with. So even though we don’t speak…and I there’s a HUGE STORY to tell…There’s years worth of stories that no one will ever know about and I don’t tell the stories because it kinda overlaps with certain things, that were going on in my life at that time…and well I respect him enough to keep it bundled as a silent ‘memory bubble,’ that we’ll both have.  We didn’t quite get the correct closure…I’d say. One day, when I see him.. I’ll get that. During that time, if we didn’t go our separate ways, he certainly wouldn’t have become the success he is today…and well…neither would I. We were young and to be honest it’s kinda the Hollywood way….

But yes, as I drove home yesterday early evening, I smiled because during that early LA chapter, I kinda looked back and thanked him for making me feel like the most loved girl in the entire world. He respected and treasured me. Some girls go through their entire lives never getting to feel that…I mean GOD, I don’t even nearly feel like that right now…But it was so important that it popped into my head because it reminded me of a very happy LA chapter (as it did go a bit dodgy from that point, but that dodginess was essential to my making 🙂 ) and it also reminded me that in life anything can happen when it comes to love…and sometimes it can just ‘Jack in a Box’ you out of nowhere. If you’ve felt true love, you can feel it again….and if you ARE single, be you young, in your 20’s, fourties or an aging, independent thirty something glamour puss 😉 know that there’s this AMAZING guy, who will pop out of nowhere and treasure you. One that you’ll actually fancy! I know!!! No, I haven’t had rum! You don’t have to wait it out..you just have to get on with being your fabulous self…and that imaginary Knight will gallop on in and sweep you off your fucking budget Louboutins.

I don’t know why i’ve gone on about all that, because that’s not at all what I wanted to chat about?? I was gonna tell you all about how important blogging was and how organised and feisty I am now and how I’ve become so focused. How I’ve decide to work with some amazing new brands. I needed to do my Laura Bartlett blog. ( I loved her.) How so much is happening and it’s all very exciting…work wise.

I mean, it all goes back to that meeting that I had with Jack Parsons. It put me in ‘check’ and organised me mentally. He has been one of the most inspiring people i’ve met so far this year, because he actually helped me. I need some help. Lol. ALL THE HELP. But no, right now, when it comes to my brand/business, I’m in a powerful place where I’m gonna need mentoring and at the same time so ‘big boys’ to step in and make Wunna Land MASSIVE. Jack is going to be good at this. I can feel it in my sassy bones. He’s on his way up to the stars and still has the ability to remind me that I can smash it. I’ll remind him of that when we’re both ‘chilling it’ on the Forbes list. 😉 At least he has an office. I want a fucking office!

But i’ll tell you all about work some other time. I guess my mind just wanted to tell you a love story instead?? FFS.

Hope you’re having an amazing weekend. I’m enjoying a really chilled one with my babies ‘Ruby & Junior.’ They rinsed me at the toy store, we’ve lunched and mocktailed at Ego, in Ackworth. (I go there a lot. It’s local to me.) I’m loving my weekend, as usually i’m dashing about having to ‘jump on a train‘ this…or ‘leap to the next platform‘ that. There’s not been much ME time or…well it’s all been fucking stressful. 🙂

Feeling chilled is my favourite…Maybe because by nature my soul is so WILD. When it comes to the days that I choose peace, I treasure them like those red flavoured fruit pastels. I’m happy. My kids are happy. Everyone i’m working with is happy. I’m doing well and now on a ‘not so ropey’ success ladder. I’m strutting up it like i’m Fred Astaire in tap shoes.

*Throws you a wink and a pout*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I got back into Stockings….

So, as all you lot drizzled in Bank Holiday madness, filled with *can can* kicks and sparkler lit cocktails to popular bar beats, as you *winked* at ‘Handsomes’ and eyed up the easy girls…I stayed in, wore a jumper (fair enough it had cherries on it, but that’s hardly wanging it out with conga lines is it) and had to rest in the peace of calm of Wunna land, away from trouble, late nights and any ridiculous mayhem because I had a shoot the next morning. A shoot that I wanted to SMASH. A boudoir shoot.

I even Snapchatted my…

‘Hey i’m staying in because I have a shoot tomorrow, in piglet ears…’ 

LOOK!

Are you following me? No? You have poor taste! Add me now: chrissiewunna1

That’s what I did today. Smashed a shoot. It felt great to be productive at short notice and by accident. 🙂 Yippeee!

Early morning rise, a quick eyelash flutter and a Skinny Tan. I had a bit of a moment yesterday. Even though all was really well, something happened that involved me having to take a minute, a drive away in order to feel okay about things again. Not a biggie. Just a Keiran/Junior issue that hurt my heart for a second. After a wine, a chat with my mum and a Solero, I was fine again. 🙂 When I have niggly problems…I shout about them and have a ‘not real’ sulk. But when something happens that’s big enough to make me properly FEEL, I take it on the life chin, withdraw for a moment and come out of my cave *beaming* like i’ve won some kind of ‘figured it out’ trophy.

This morning, at around noon, (we both got stuck in traffic) I met Clare Pritchard, outside her studio on Westgate, Wakefield and followed her up some fabulous spiral staircases, to her super creative studio and for my very first shoot as a ‘Fallen Angel.’ You should ALL want to be a ‘Fallen Angel.’ What a sassy title…

Now, I’ve met Claire before. We have a mutual friend. (Mel.) Today…I had the BEST time ever, with one of the most talented, unique and creative photographers that I have ever worked with…and I would never just say that, as I’m quite particular when it comes to a bit of picture taking, aren’t I!

I’ve shot with a lot of people in my time. LOTS! All over this merry Earth Ball.However let me tell you, Lil’ Miss Pritchard has GOT IT. She is one sassy, photographic genius. I’ve never had anyone direct me so well through a shoot, show me her version of ‘life’ through a lens and really give me a grasp, a feel of what we were going to produce as a team. I love direction. I take it well. I listen. I perform. I respect a photographer always…But Clare will create mood boards, suggest styling, she’ll get stuck in with you and understand how you work and try and deliver her direction appropriately, to your character. I loved it.

As a model….I’m a go for it kinda girl. I find it easy because I love it. But it’s NOT EASY. You have to love it. I wanted to shoot well. I wanted to nail it. I didn’t want to let her down and you’ll only let a photographer down if you’re not comfortable, confident…or a bitch. 🙂

I’ll always love a boudoir shoot. They’re my favourite. There’s a glamourous sexiness to them. So it just felt so GREAT to be slipping out of my jeans and slipping into my kitten stockings and heels again, to mood music, good lighting and for a bit of sexy picture taking. I was back in my ‘battle wear.’ The uniform.

‘Chrissie….chin down, head forward, look to me.. straight to camera, chin down…and YES…good face…FIERCE.’

We had the most hilarious time, as there we were in the middle of Wakefield, with her big lights and camera and my little dinky lingerie numbers, in the studio creating the most amazing shots. Honestly…she’s great and she can direct ‘sexy’ because she IS so sexy. She would literally SHOW ME what she wanted…and being visual, i’d get it, copy it and smash it. We were such a good team. We laughed the whole time. And it was really great being shot by a girl…as I have never ever in my entire life been shot my a female photography. It helps so much with boudoir, as no one knows a woman’s body better than another woman.

‘Chrissie, there’s a bit of a nipple out on that shot…but ah well it looks good. Lol. Remind me about the fan. Chin down…head forward! BEAUTIFUL! The light on your skin tone is amazing. You look so elegant! GREAT FACE!!! Chin down…’

‘Sorry…I just get carried away and think i’m a showgirl and my head starts kicking back…’

We just pissed ourselves laughing.

‘We should’ve brought Prosecco…’

Nothing was more Girl Power. We’re both sassy. Both creative. Both want to do well. I’d be getting naked and slipping into my next outfit…

‘I won’t look…I’ll turn away and pretend i’m playing with these lights.’

‘Haha…honestly, it’s fine. Worse things have happened to me. 🙂 ‘

…as Clare would be trying to carry these ginormous lights out into the artsy corridor, after showing me the mood of the next set. She is awesome for that, as I’m a story teller…and she’ll direct me by showing me and telling me the story of the next set. It’s sexy AND THE BEST WAY for me TO WORK. It brings soul to the shoot and a simple yet glamourous sex appeal, a ‘LIFE’ to the pictures. That’s something you can’t force…as it’s something you need to FEEL. I loved the raw shots that I saw. (I usually never love the raw shots that I see. Lol)  I haven’t worked with anyone as great when it comes to boudoir picture taking, in a really long time. (I can’t tell you ALL the banter, as you’d literally die of shock! 🙂 )

But yes, these pictures are BIG. They’re important to us both. No one has seen new pictures of me in a while and since that while, i’ve kinda built myself a big old success ladder and climbed up a few more rungs. 😉 These pictures are going to circulate around social media like wild fire…so yeah there’s a bit of pressure and yeah it was important to me that I shot well (I couldn’t fuck it up.) At the same time it’s important to Clare because ..well these are her images, they will represent her work, her reputation and her ‘Fallen Angel’ brand. It’s a bit scary now i’ve said that.

I knew it was going to be great from the get go, as FIRST SHOT in, I felt so comfy, straight away… we smashed it and I saw a *beam* on her face, a confident *nod* as she looked up from her camera and just said,

‘This feels gooood…’

We had a laugh, but we worked hard, so i’m really excited for you to see what we came up with. I loved my time with Clare so much i’m shooting with her again…I CAN’T WAIT. We got on so well.

Yet the great thing about today (other than the cocktails that I treated myself to afterward at Ego 🙂 ) was the simple fact that she reminded me how much I loved slipping on those stockings and delicate lingerie bits. I loved shooting today. I felt so feminine. I felt like I really embraced and celebrated being a woman. She reminded me how much I loved being in front of  camera. How much I loved getting my ‘model’ mode on. You can do something so much that you forget to love it, right? You forget to stop and just look at what you have or what you’re doing!

Today she reminded me how lucky I was and how much I loved what i do, the blogging, the shoots, the entertaining, the creative swirl of it all….It’s magic! AND she inspired me to do well. She brought out the best in me…and nothing is sexier than human who can make you feel alive….

Best shoot ever…

www.clarepritchardphotography.com

 

 

 

We Made It to Wednesday…..

I had to ‘write off’ Monday. It was hilarious. Let’s just say that Sunday afternoon in Leeds was filled with really sunny afternoon gin and tonics. Doubles. I had a blast as I met up with Lil’ Miss Laura Bartlett, who owns House of Coco Magazine…but i’ll tell you about that later, when i’ve pulled my glitzy self together…as so much fun went on… but yes…I found myself the next morning, feeling ROUGH, sat in a warm roomed meeting, propped up against a door and a wall….trying to strain my eyes open…and every time I closed them DURING the meeting Lol…I’d sort of *SHOCK* myself up and my fave chick ‘Firmonnell’ would be directly in my eye line PISSING HERSELF LAUGHING. (Oh Tuesday, I got my own back, as I watched both Firmonnell & Hustle Barbie do their *yawny* versions of life through the first meeting of the day.)

Double B: ‘Wow! You look like shit. I know whenever you feel rough cos your eyelashes go really tiny…’

Me: ‘Yeh. I’m just gonna have to get through the day… I don’t know how i’m gonna get through the day…?’

But FUCK IT…I DID! I did it! I’m a trooper and i’m not one to let the side down. I picked my sassy little self up, embraced the utter feeling of shitness. I made sure everyone new my state of existence…and without a clue, I muscled through..with a lucozade and really sore eyes. The fact is…I DID IT. Call me Lazy? Call me ‘BOSSING IT’ dolls.

As soon as I got home, I slow motion toppled into a warm bubble bath and went straight to bed, in a happy, naked, mist of bliss.

I’ve needed to rest, hence why I haven’t been able to blog. Yet, I’m feeling much better now. I kinda just need a massage and  bra that doesn’t seem to kill. That’s make me happy. Nothing is worse than a knackered girl, as it takes our ‘glam’ away from us. That’s why rest and recuperation is vital to any glamour pusses schedule. 🙂 I’m still in my pj’s, but i’ve put on a set of  heels anyway, simply to feel feminine again and because flats make you feel awkward. Comfy. But frumpy. Hahah! (I’ll grow up some day. Honest! Can we do Prosecco for breakfast?)

Tuesday…all about work. My chick friends and I have JUST BEEN WORKING. It’s been a head down and hustle, through the bustle. There’s not even ups or downs…just stress and work. Lol. I mean, we didn’t get to banter about much else, but work…Other than the fact that ‘Hustle Barbie’ got called a slut when she was in a black sophisticated trouser suit (lol), after returning from Poland where she trapped herself in a creepy house that she found on the internet with friends, for kicks. It was pitch black…part of the wonderful ‘things you can do here…’ rosta, and she got chased around a scary house, by a guy in a wheelchair, who stood up and ran at her with a chainsaw.

‘Chrissie! I was so scared that I even fell over in the pitch black and ended up having to grab some Polish boys balls to heave myself back up in fear.’

Fuck ‘Hustle Barbie’s’ fear. That Polish boy had the best time ever.

She’s such a slut. 🙂

On the up…Fairytale Blond is moving into her new home, with her new man, with ‘getting the keys and everything‘ on Thursday. Awww! I’m sure Fairytale babies will be made, behind their Fairytale white picket fence and she can’t wait. She has butterflies. Mel and I have instructed her to have sex on every counter and corner of the home. She should probably borrow Firmonnell’s sex step. Saying that…they’re all on diets now, so they’re gonna need all the steps the can get. Mel’s diet is great. She’ll eat anything she wants and then say..

‘What? I’ve brought melon…it’s fine…It counteracts it.’

Double B is also en route to her new home. She is awaiting the go ahead on ‘here’s your keys‘ and when she gets them…she will have a sassy CRY and simply because unlike ‘Fairytales’ her journey has been very stressy….very dramatic…and very Double B’y. Yet their journey to getting the same thing has been UTTERLY DIFFERENT…However, what matters is that the BOTH got to the finish line with the winning result that they wanted. It doesn’t matter how you get there…Just get there. If the roads bumpy..strap in and embrace it. If it’s smooth…*Glide Baby, Glide.*

But then that just leaves me…

I have the biggest rest of April ahead of me, as I head into investment, the beginning of the Vlog and with a final glamourous clatter to the month at the UK Blog Awards, which is on the 21st. I’d say i’m on my promo for that..yet when they’ve already chosen the winner…you don’t really need to promo too much? However, i’m excited and honoured. Can’t wait to be there! I couldn’t be more grateful.

I also have a meeting early in the afternoon on the day of the blog awards with Jack Parsons, who owns Yourfeed UK. I’m looking forward to meeting him, as again, he’s done very well for himself and his company. I’m happy that he requested to see me…and well tottering through his offices seems like it would be a blast.

However, let me tell you I AM IN A SWIRL. GOD! This is the biggest SWIRL I have ever experienced in my ENTIRE time on this little disco Earth ball. This guy is making me feel like i’m on top of  the TOP of the WORLD. Through the busy days, the resting, the work load, the stress, the good times..the everything…he just has this ability to make me *beam* from ear to ear and have my little kitty soul light up with laughter, excitement but a peaceful happiness. He’s my perfect! I can’ t help but adore him. How could I not?

Yet, there’s something about this ‘swirl’ as it’s not just any swirl…it’s a solid swirl. It’s a secure, solid swirl. There’s a stability to it. I feels good. No. It feels great. This guy…and this is after actually us getting to know one another…is my dream man.

Right now…I feel like a very lucky girl…

 

 

 

 

But where will it land? ;)

Friday was AWESOME. I had the busiest week of business work this, business work that…There were make ups, break ups, good news, the end of struggles, winners, losers and re *pop ins* by our favourite ‘Gingerbell.’ I actually began Friday by sending ‘my swirl’  a morning message, which produced a reply that made my eyes smile…(HE IS AMAZING)…then as I was wondering around with a glammy skip in my step and a glint in my eye, I sort of bounced into  ‘Double D’ doing a cry, because his girlfriend whopped out the..

‘…we’re just going in different directions’ line. 🙁

I hugged him…and then made him make everyone a brew. Lol. (I’m shit like that. 🙂 )

Me: ‘Have you texted her and talked to her about it all? She could change her mind?’

Firmonnell: ‘Don’t text her. It’s good that you leave it, so she has chance to miss you.’

Yet away from that..it was really great to see the end of Friday approaching and simply *WHACK* on the radio, sing a long to some old school tunes and indulge in Wunna Land GIRL BANTER, with my favourite chick sidekicks, in all of the land.

I always tell you, that we’re all glamourous, all sassy, all DIFFERENT, all ages, yet we all seem to have the same DISTURBING sense of humour. I love a laugh. I am a laugh and when it all turns inappropriate with a…

‘You’re not gonna let him actually CUM IN you, are ya!!!’

We all armed up, got our giggle heels on and WENT FOR IT…and when we go for it…WE ARE AWFUL…because only WE FIND IT FUNNY…

(If you’re about to head to Church…I apologize for the rest of this blog…’)

Me: ‘Boys just don’t CUM IN YOU, you idiot. They’re more cautious these days…They don’t do it, unless they want to make a baby…’

‘They might assume you’re on something when you’re not and just go for it.’

(Dipper randomly walks down and finds himself thrown into our conversation….and with a…

‘The banter down here is AMAZING. I might need to drill a hole through my floor to see and hear you all! But yeah, it’s really hard to not CUM in a girl when you’re in the moment.’

Me: ‘Drill a hole in your floor. HAHAHA! That’s the perviest thing ever! As IF you want a perv cam, so you an just hear about us talk about sex…’

Gingerbell: ‘So what’s going on with you Chrissie? You’ve always got news…I’ve been really boring and sensible…I went to the Doctors and he asked if I was pregnant. Lol. A FUCKING CHANCE WOULD BE A FINE THING…lol.’

Dipper: ‘Yeah, I wanna hear it…I’m married I never get any…Lol.’

Fairytale Blond, *BLUSH/BLUSH/BLUSH*

Double B: ‘I DID TELL HIM THAT I WILL SUCK A DICK IF HE GETS ME MY…’

Firmonnell: ‘Ooh i’m excited! I have date night tonight! AND every week now I come onto Big D…’

(I love Firmonnell for that, as Big D…who is her husbands… expressed how it’d be nice for HER to ‘sass’ on up to HIM once in a while, instead of him coming on to her…She listened…she smiled…and every week she now hits forwardly on her man, without him initiating the ‘ooh’ and they get busy…the good old fashioned way. 😉  THAT IS HOT!)

Fairytale Blond then read a not so expressive text…and simply replied with an ..

‘ok.’

Hahahaha!

Then and because it was FRIDAY we took it upon ourselves to play a game. Previous games we’ve played have been called, ‘Bitch or Booked?’

Friday’s game was called…

‘Where will it LAND?’

Oh my LORD, the funniest time we have had in ages…We were literally crying in stitches, as we all decided to place bets on where any cum will land on a being who was about to have sex! DYING.

Me: Tits! £3 on Tits.

Gingerbell: £3 on tummy

Fairytale Blond *BLUSH*

Double B: Belly button There’s nothing like a belly button cum shot.’

People even WHATSAPPED IN with bets, as banter got that stupid! Lol

Mel: ‘FACE’

Prince Jonny: ‘Hair.’

Double D: My life savings on ALL IN.

Me: You don’t have any life savings????’

I mean who needs the fucking Grand National! Where will it land? A much better wager. Lol.

Then Gingerbell, who i’ve missed goes out of her way to mention that she would probably DO ANYTHING for £25,000, if it wasn’t Illegal. So we obviously got distracted and started giving her options…(Gingers are saucy.)

‘Would yooooooou….Take two…………..’

‘Would yooooooou……’

(Ill let you fill in the blanks. 🙂 We were far too disturbing on all sorts levels. It got so bad, we had to stop playing.But on the up, we obviously have very vivid imaginations. Hahah! It’s a plus. Honest!)

Double B, then decided to inform me that there’s some middle aged lady who can’t stop orgasming ALL OF THE TIME, because it’s an illness.

‘No, like literally…just can’t stop orgasming. I don’t mean needs sex all the time. I mean, she’ll be at the shop and just randomly start orgasming. Lol’

Then I enlightened the bunch by sharing my ‘no cum in mouth’ blowjob technique.

Double B: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

‘Me: ‘It’s the anticipation that terrifies me…I’m gonna cum….i’m gonna cum….i’m gonnna…*&$*”*’

Gingerbell: ‘It’s at the point where you just need to gulp! Don’t think. Just gulp.’

Me: Lol. Don’t be silly. I do that sly wanky off/ sucky thing, when they’ve ‘merried’ in our mouth, yet you sneakily let it run out the side of your mouth, without them noticing and pretend you’ve swallowed it. LOL.

That was Friday.

Today…I have lunch and cocktails.

I have THE BEST CHICK FRIENDS EVER. I mean, sometimes you just need a giggle, a banter, a bit of free chat in the name of utter humour, in order to keep you all ALIVE. It keeps you from going stale. Keeps the air around you juicy. AND makes you feel like you’re living instead of simply JUST existing.

The best thing about that banter…wasn’t the fact that we were being mucky for kicks…it was the LAUGHTER, the happiness, the magic, the atmosphere, the energy, the hilarity and the smiles on our faces as we threw our heads back in absolute fits of GIGGLES.

I have GREAT CHICK FRIENDS.

 

 

 

Life, Corners & The Shizzles

So, i walked part the way home with Mel last night, as the work day had come to a ‘time out,’ before she strutted off to the right, in her red coat and heels and I tottered over to the left to be driven through West Yorkshire fields by a driver with scars on his neck. Drivers like to tell me everything. I once had one pull up for ages, at six o clock in the morning, as I was waiting for Take Me Out Nick to hurry up of of his house for a meeting. He told me his entire life story and how his love life was awful because his girlfriend had run off with another man…who was..

…’obviously a druggie because he had no teeth. CHRISSIE! He had no teeth! I let this guy into my own house because I trusted them both!’

I love it when people open up to me about their own life stories because at the end of the day, that’s all we have. Pay attention to what makes you happy and GO FOR IT. Live it. Love it. Make your story worth a read!

I love my Thursday night chatters with Mel, as I’ll work later and listen to her magical updates of her ‘swirl.’ Remember that Mel (who is in her 40’s…She’s  hot, sassy 40 something though) was single for 3 years. THREE WHOLE YEARS. She got on with it, adapted, was happy, yet was edged over in cynicism and mild grumpiness. But she had thought that that was it…That she would probably never find her real ‘swirl.’ YET, Cupid cut her some fucking slack and OUT of nowhere *BOOM* out pops ‘Her Gary’ with tulips and carpets in his hands, telling her that he loves her, wants her and commits to her fully…which turned her world around.

‘Honestly, Chrissie! I never ever thought this would happen to me. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe how happy I feel.’

‘It’s the beam in your eye Mel. Look at you. You’re like a little girl again. I love it. You’re smiling. More than anything it gives me hope…It CAN happen because I’ve watched it with my OWN kitten eyes! 🙂 ‘

So, for those of you who are looking for love, or hoping to find that REAL LOVE. The kinda love that you haven’t just settled for. The love that sends you into a crazy swirl. That Bestfriendy, Sexy, Romantic ‘sweep you off your feet’ magic of an ‘ooh laa.’ That soul mate kind of love that lasts an entire lifetime…and not just a few calendar months or a season. KNOW, that no matter what situation you’re in, right around the corner something magical could stop you in your tracks and send your glittery heart a flutter.

I’m currently feeling a ‘swirl,’ so I’m not really scratching at my head, swearing at Cupid. Yet, throughout my life i’ve wandered around many a corner. Good ones, bad ones and ones that stink of regret. Hahaha! However this corner…that i decided to wander around is…for the first time…in a long time….worth it. This guy has got me BEAMING. An yeah, there are times when ‘swirls’ make you feel all terrified…They do me. I don’t at all mean that preachy. I’m speaking from absolute experience. I get terrified sometimes and i’m ballsy. Yet, that’s not how to live your life the best way you can. Say YES to more things that make you happy, boldly. Embrace the and enjoy them…and have faith that Cupid really isn’t that much of a dick afterall.

But let me rewind…

Not much banter happened all day with my girls. We all got on with life and business…

Double B: ‘What do you fucking me you have no blog fodder. YOU’VE SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY WITH ME!!’

Double B is a sassy, funny, somewhat zany ‘for a bit of look at me’ intelligent, DITZ. What I love about Double B is the fact that yeah she’ll go out of her way to dramatically make people laugh out loud…yet even when she’s going through really stressful times…she’ll express it openly without fear, yet always at the same time make everyone around her smile. She goes out of her way to do that. When people do that…it means big, not so lovely things have happened to them in their lives, that they understand the worth of happiness and making others feel happy.

Anyway, that was a bit full on. We did lunch together. I bought a sandwhich, she had made herself pasta with pine nuts. I know. She’s only 21. I’m watching her grow up before my very eyes. And we chatted shit, as we looked over the town through a giant glass window, at a shabby chic baby blue table, and thought about the future, money and where we’d be at.

Then we took it upon ourselves to go downstairs with cups of tea..

‘Get that door for me Wunna..’

..and make fun of the new addition into our world…again another guy…who HE HIMSELF has been named ‘DIPPER.’

Now ‘Dipper’ dips things. He’ll ‘dip’ anything. He’ll dip her, him, you and whatever we tell him to ‘dip.’ He love’s ‘dipping.’ Dipping is his world. I even ordered cards to prove that he ‘dips’ the region with a smile. We all don’t know ‘Dipper’ too well yet…so stay tuned. But it seems that this character is going to be an interesting find, as he replaces The King Of The North.

Me: ‘HAHAHAH. I CAN’T STOP SAYING DIPPER.’

Anyway, i’ve got to go and get ready for work. The best thing about yesterday morning, was the fact that I had to explain, during a somewhat executive meeting why i had decided to call ‘Lady Shizzle’…well ‘Lady Shizzle’ in the blog. Lol. Lady Shizzle is funny..She’s sweet natured and all for hard work, but a good time. She turned fifty years old in January and loves a good old Wunna Blog read…I didn’t even know what to say…so I just said this..

‘When someone is THE SHIT, it’s good. Kinda like the DOGS BOLLOCKS. A hip hop term for THE SHIT..is THE SHIZZLE…Lol. Which means you’re ACE. The LADY part comes from you being the LADYSHIP!’

What? Lol. What is my life!

Her reply…

‘I love that you said you can’t marry a man without a good penis..’

🙂