Love, Lattes & Chicks Who Tongue Dogs…

Woke up this morning with the blistering sunlight shining through my window, with all a calm breeze and peace as my bestie…I stretched…I kitty yawned and just like that BOOM! Bustle, door knocks, headsets, clipboards, fidgets, schedules and that darling bit of happy ‘rush rush.’ (Which i hate. I hate RUSHING. When you rush, you mess things up. I’m a glamour puss. I like to do things in an orderly glamourous fashion.)  It only lasted a good jolly moment…then once again everything went back to calm, back to normal and I could continue sipping my green tea latte. (Which is my favourite latte in all the land. I used to get one every morning in LA, on 3rd and La Cienega, unless I was on a diet, then i’d flirt with an Americano with skimmed instead.)

Sorry….i’ve just got distracted after watching a snapchat of a guy (i know his sister closely) line out 20 chicken nuggets on his mates drive for hangover kicks and type out a mini news report afterward. Lol I’m enthralled. I love it! Hahah. But anyway…

You all zoned in on the fact that I stated that my love life wasn’t rubbish yesterday, didn’t ya! I scrolled through messages galore from people all over the world either cheering me on, or tinkering for me details? When it comes to love, I’ve never got it right, have I? Yet, that’s because i’ve Mambo’ed into everything head first, twirling madly, in red dresses and sequins, with ‘cha cha’ arms (don’t actually know what arms they are) and with everything crossed. And don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to feel ‘crazy’ about someone (that’s what passion is and if you don’t have it, your soul needs a tequila to wake you up and smell the limes,) yet the ‘crazy’ is what you feel initially….We all love the ‘swirl,’ the initial attraction…the ‘ooh laa’ as I like to call it….Yet, the real love comes after….when time has passed, you’ve learnt about one another and you’ve only just realised how much time you’ve invested in a person because it’s breezed by so merrily…

Real love comes (that love that people say has been written about for centuries) when a true friendship has been formed, one of loyalty and trust, that has been built upon slowly, where you share laughter, secrets, respect and support. When you can look at that person and know that no matter what they’ll always be there…because they always have. To me…that’s what real love is. A best friend…that you do ‘non friend zone‘ like things with. 😉

Having gotten love wrong for so many glamourous decades…YIPPPEEEE (again doesn’t make me a hideous person, it’s simply just my story, it’s actually empowered me more than I ever thought it would,) I THINK, that no one in this entire world understands love more than I do, right now. I do get nervous. I do get frightened. I do things wonderfully. I do things badly. It’s normal. I’m certainly not all sass, i’m quite an affectionate soul…and yeah like anyone, I don’t fancy feeling love in order to maybe get hurt, right? Especially not at thirty something. That doesn’t make us weak, it kinda just makes us human. It’s not the right way to move forward. So I’m always open hearted regardless…as my confidence out weighs my moments of terror…and just incase i have to encounter a sassy bit of heartbreak again in the future …I KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. 🙂 Plus, I have loads of great alcoholic chick friends who will buy me cocktails to make me feel better..and then make fun of me for being a tool.

I’m an life soldier…but a happy one. And I am 100 percent confident that one day (even though i’ve had decades of being unlucky in love) i’ll make someone really happy forever. Forever being the key word…as I have made people briefly happy… Lol. I actually said this to my chick friend Lana (she’s strange and tongues dogs)..

Me: ‘What! I’ve got it in me….’

Lana: ‘What, like silicone?’

Me: ‘Yes. Actually. Please stop tonguing that dog near my Gucci Bamboo Top Handle.’

Lana: ‘It’s weird because you’re a sweetheart but everyone who doesn’t know you thinks you’re a dickhead. Hahaha. I know you’ve got it in you…’

Me: ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it, if I didn’t know it was true. It’s not like i’m sat here saying, hey yeah…i’d make a really great roller booting astronaut…cos i’d know i’d be shit at that.’

Lana: ‘There’s no such thing as that, idiot. What if Mr. Whoever has a shit willy..’

Me: ‘He doesn’t have a shit willy. Stop tonguing that fucking dog!! Honestly. It’s sick. No wonder you’re divorced.’

Lana: ‘You can’t talk…You better get used to having to tongue pets now that you’ve got Rocco…’

Me: ‘Eww! Rocco’s bouji. He’s not average like your pet. Lol. He’s an ‘IT’ kitten. He’s swag. He’s part of Wunna land. I have a whole online patch of land. You’re living it right now & you don’t even know. It’s like a glittery Matrix.’

Lana: ‘You’re such a big headed twat.’

Right, I need to head off quickly…and enjoy the rest of my chills. I have the Yorkshire chills to get back to and enjoy…I’m slightly confused at how grown my children have become. It’s weird. How the hell have I managed to raise them?

I’m also missing all my girls! Firmonnell, Fairytale, Hustle Barbie, Double B, Mel and Lady Shiz. I did actually wake up, thousands of miles away from them, look down at my phone and read a stream of whatsapp messages that kinda really upset me. Lots has happened and it was kinda weird because it’s not really something that I would be upset by…Yet reading the stream and realizing how much of a team we were, no matter where we were in the world or what we were doing….or whatever shit life through at us…kinda made me smile! I love being part of a team. We have each other’s back no matter what. I always wonder what we’ll all be doing in the next five years…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Banter, Geordies & Life Skills

I’ve had a snotty nose all day and nothing is more unattractive on adults than a snotty nose right? It’s ran all day and i’ve had to have tissues at the ready to hold onto some form, any form of glamour pussiness. I don’t like runny noses…they’re not very Gucci. 🙂

I’m still working hard and i’m sorry that I haven’t managed to blog as much as usual. Yet when there’s a lifestyle blog, there’s a life…and sometimes you’ve just got to live it. I’m a writer and I love it more than anything. I’m creative. But when I have a snotty nose…shit goes down. I was sassy. It put me in a mood and mainly because it kept rubbing off my foundation…

‘I’ve forgotten my bronzer brush and I keep blowing my nose! I can’t have an exotic face and a white persons nose.’

I did lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ today as we looked over the town from a giant glass window with a salad. During that time, after she had bought herself an emergency dress for the York races, she was so happy that she contemplated throwing herself off a giant building. Lol.

‘This isn’t life. It’s shit. I’m sat here with you, doing lunch. I’m looking out the window and nothing out the window that we can see is beautiful or exciting. LOOK! It’s all shit! I mean God, you’re losing your touch! You don’t even get those creepy videos from that creepy guy with the tiny penis anymore! I feel like I should just throw myself off that tower…Hahaha.

However, because she’s so hot, if she did, some kind of weird Prosecco angels would fly by gracefully and cradle her fall, whilst turning it into some beautiful soft landing, that ended in rose petaled bedding.When you’re hot that happens. It does. Even in an bouji invisible brace.

Right now, I’m all about living life and loving it. I’m sick of people spending time on the things they don’t love. You should all be working jobs that you were made for and adore. I’m also sick of folk refusing to express how they feel about the things or people they do love. There’s nothing wrong with that, so be terrified of it. If I care about someone, regardless as to how they may feel about me, I make sure I tell them that I care about them almost every day. You’re a long time dead and anything can happen. So…it makes me feel good to let the people I appreciate know that I do. You should do that to. It’s good for the soul…like rum.

A thing that’s made me smile today..is my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s travelled to London with her hubby ‘Big D’ today and they’re celebrating their Anniversary. She’s 30 now…or thirty something i can’t remember? They’ve been together since she was 19! I know!!! And to this day, after all that time, they’re still happily married, now with two babies, love, a to die for friendship and they still even have sex regularly! It’s a dream! Big D ‘gushed’ about how wonderful she was today and that made me beam. I love it when guys can openly declare how wonderful their wife is! It’s so sexy!

Y’know, it’s weird as Firmonnell and I have the exact same sense of evil humour. We are absolute BANTER! However, we’ve walked such different lives. And in a way, even though i’ve done the whole everything I ‘Hollywood’ wished for in work and ‘modelled’ my way through life with telly stints, glamour ‘do daa’s’, celebrity this and and excitement…part of me wishes that at the same time, I managed to hold onto to love. I’m thirty six and haven’t managed to stay in love since being 19. I’ve been married three times. (Firmonnell liked my first husband and decided to LAUGH AT ME for the divorce because I was foolish. Hahah! What a cow! Lol.)

LET ME TELL YOU.

Don’t fret, if you’re in my glitzy position. Lol

Love comes to people at different times and i’m not talking the average kind of love. I’m talking that LOVE that people have written about over centuries. That true love that whisks you off your feet. That guy who is your ‘hero.’ That girl who makes you feel like the greatest man alive. It comes to you when it’s meant to. So for Firmonnell she was lucky because when she turned 19, he found her, he loved her and they did ‘happily ever after.’

My life’s been a bit different and mainly because of my choice in career, i’d say. Then my stint in Hollywood. Then my telly bits….It kinda made finding true love, somewhat more difficult. Not just because people saw me differently. Yet because my view or standards on what I wished for in a dream man were also raised. Infact there were times in my 20’s when i didn’t even know what I wanted, or had too many options or just felt lost and instead committed to work. But not now. I know what I want. I may have got what I want.

But yes, how lucky is Firmonnell. I’d like to have an anniversary, where my hubby declares how wonderful I am. And at the same time, years down the line, she adores him just as madly. That’s sexy.

Not much else has happened today other than a surprise visit from one of my new Geordie mates ‘Potter.’ He made a random appearance in Wunna land. Infact, after Lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ I found myself walking out of one door and walking through to the other side where I was immersed in a group of Geordie boys, all banter, all fun, all down to earth, all in suits and all talking football….with chicken. I’m northern, so I love a Geordie. When I was a teen, an American boy or a Geordie boy was my favourite type of crush. We all chatted shit for a good fifteen minutes in the name of banter. What i noticed about the boys is that they’re scrappy, but they’re loyal. They are passionate about the things that they care about. Banter was fun. They got a bit heated.

I’m Yorkshire and we’re chilled…we live our life by the leave it and ‘It’ll be right‘ phrase. We don’t really get too bothered about things, we just have cups of tea or 40 wines, whilst letting the world take a turn or having a ‘sleep on it.’

Saying that, i do know some properly mental Yorkshire folk who need therapy, so I take that back. I’M JUST CHILLED. I swear it’s the rest of you lot that are loopy! 😉 I’m perfect.

Right, i’m going now. I an hear singing in the house and I don’t know who or where it’s coming from which is alarming?

Love you,

Thank you for reading my blog.

Chrissie

 

 

 

Leeds, La Bottega, Inadequate Chris & Marriage?

Read moreLeeds, La Bottega, Inadequate Chris & Marriage?

Busy Times & Oriental Wives!

‘You’re quiet Chrissie?’

‘Why are you so quiet today?’

‘She’s just stressed…’

‘No. Lol. I’ve just got a lot of work on, so i’m in the mode and not getting distracted by Tom Foolery. 🙂 ‘

I am currently tinkering in the busiest time that I have EVER experienced It a merry ‘work load’ and all at once. I’m good at being busy. So i’m not phased. I’m happy. I’m positive. But when I am busy, my mind is full, swift and flashing methodically. So I tend to go quiet, focus on the *hush hush* and get through whatever I need to, in my own little Wunna zone. Lol I obviously must be gobbier than I thought? As my quietness was questioned and noticed. 🙂 I didn’t even notice that I was being quiet.

But yes, it’s so busy for me right now, that there isn’t really time for me to enjoy too much of a giggle, throw a ‘pity party’ or bury my head in the sand. Everything needs to get done…So i’m doing it. And even though today was somewhat daunting. Tomorrow, I’ll SMASH IT because that’s what good girls do! *Wiggle…Wink.* Monday is always my ‘figure it out’ day. Tuesday…I’m usually ON IT! So I want you to know that, if you are also experiencing a super ‘fast paced’ dash of life…Be it in work, emotionally or romantically….All you have to do is grow ten feet tall, don’t bother wasting time on the ‘poor little me’ and just knuckle down, organize it all and in the best heels, get to being PRODUCTIVE….FAST! Sort it all out so it works in your favour. You’ll feel so good when you totter over that ‘finish line’ that you might even have a little champion ‘slut drop’ in the name of VICTORY. And we all know that the ‘slut drop’ is the pinnacle point of any worthy dance off.

That’s what ‘slaying it‘ is all about. (Guuuurls!) Shut off, focus on what YOU’RE DOING, forget about whatever everyone else is doing and get it done. It’s as easy as that. Do the things that you constantly put off…and you’ll feel EVEN MORE delicious when you finally get to the tunnel end!

I’M FEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING GOOD!

Away from that, I got in, kissed my Babies with love and swirled in that ‘Happy Mama’ glory. Then whilst pouring a fresh gin and tonic and scrolling through my phone…I accidentally got into the most hilarious banter with two of my LA guy friends.

When I was young and in West Hollywood, I used to date both of them. No. Not at the same time. But, during chapters of my life and not for very long. We were all friends, caught up in the sunkissed LA lifestyle, trying to ‘make it big.’ ANYWAY, and i’ve blogged this before…but BOTH GUYS (who I remember had these stunning hot blond girlfriends, followed by sexy brunette short terms…and…well you get the picture.) Both guys were models/actors and super sweet all at the same time. They’re hot! But everyone is in LA. I mean, it’s a town where you’ll be a dick, poor, a ‘no hoper,’ or challenged, but YOU WILL LOOK GOOD DOING IT. 🙂

They’re much older now, as am I. One is currently happily married and gushing about how much he adores his wife on Instagram and the other (who once SWORE TO ME) that he would never marry until he was 84 and when he did he’d be stonkingly rich and date a 23 year old Playboy bunny. Lol. That was his future.

Both guys….Now that they’re settled….have chosen to do ‘forever’ with smoking hot ORIENTAL CHICKS! YES! Hahaha! We are finally the BEST accessory! Honestly. It’s the newest thing in town! All chicks from the Orient are now your LA wives! I’ve obviously *slapped them * with ‘The Wunna Brush’ that there was no other choice than to pick a chick from Eastern lands, with those little kitten eyes. Lol

I did express that to them!

They pissed themselves text laughing…(they both know each other well) and agreed to state that they certainly picked ‘less annoying’ versions of me. 🙂

‘Less annoying! It was like trying to shake turd off a stick with you guys! 🙂 ‘

‘You took yourself off rotation…’

‘I don’t think I have ever been involved with a girl where so many people decided to be so interested in what was going on! It was madness.’

Then we wished each other well for ‘old times’ sake and I sat back, kicked off my kitten heels and enjoyed the most delicious G & T that a heavy work Monday could’ve ever treated me with.

Life is hectic. But it’s good right now!

I’m focusing on one thing at a time and doing it well. It’s not about the rush. It’s about doing things right…as when you do things appropriately…you’ll make a much better impact long term.

*Wink.*

 

 

 

Cos you totally can…..

I got a message from my first ever hubby this afternoon, who was congratulating me on ‘my time’ as he put it. When we were tiny and in LA TRYING to be successful in our fields, he sort of excelled and before you know it, within six months he was on every tv show going, a couple movies and a then chilling on screens with Tom Cruise and Justin Timberlake. During that time, I chilled, I was a wife and a modelled. When we split up…I blogged..:)

We’re not very close by any means, yet we have this respect for one another for finally almost getting there…as his career sprouted early…(we moi as the love of his life) and then sort of *paused* and is maybe still *on a casual steady steady* right now, after a blast. My career, was always ‘steady steady’…potentially there…but just not quite…I’ve had *blips* where in which they could’ve *blasted* yet babies and life, just wasn’t quite ready for my party yet. (And if you’re a mum, I do not want you to think that you can’t do it all, you can’t. During that time, I THOUGHT I couldn’t do it all…but if i tried I could. You don’t HAVE to make sacrifices…if you are willing to so the blood, sweat and tears. And IT DOES pay off in the end.)

Anyway, long story short, we’re both *blue ticked* and doing well..both whole, kind humans…and both really ambitious people. Yet, he wanted to remind me of the time that I did a massive poo in our appartment in LA. So massive that it blocked up the loo and we had to call the Mexican maintenance guy ‘Jose’ to come and unplug it.

Obviously being the glamour puss that I am, I was devastated by this…Especially because we knew Jose and I didn’t want him to go through so much torture….and so I therefore turned to my husband, at the time…and said,

‘If you loved me, you would totally pretend you did that poo and take the entire blame for it. LOL.’

He wee’d himself laughing and let me tell you, Mikey was the kinda guy who loved like his girl, like she was his world, he’d die for me, cry for me and LIVE for me…BUT WOULD HE PRETEND THAT HE DID THAT FUCKING POO…nope! Lol.

So, I made him make the call to Jose, to state that our toilet was blocked and that HE had done the poo..HAHAHAH! (Sorry, I just find stuff like this hilarious. Mike was on a really big TV show at the time and I was a Playboy bunny. DYING.) And he went with it, out of love, but got narked off later, yet didn’t have time to get properly annoyed, because he then dashed out to go audition for a show that was about to hit our screen shortly…and that was ‘Entourage.’ Lol. That’s why you should be busy and date busy guys. They don’t have time to get narked off.

I’ve had an awesome day today and It’s been great because i’ve spent it with my family, i’ve managed to get through a lot of work…and it’s been balanced. If you’re a blogger or a vlogger and constantly in tune with ‘an audience’ you need these moments or real friends, to keep you in check. To make sure you’re authentic and not playing a version of yourself. (Saying that, people still don’t dare speak to me when they see me and message me afterward stating that they crossed paths with me? Just say ‘Hi’ I don’t bite. It’s so weird to me, because the chicks of Wunna land say it to me always and I never get it, as they ill freely speak to me…constantly…and know me. I am probably THE MOST easy going human you will ever meet. Just glammy with it. 🙂 )

Work starts tomorrow, everything keeps going…I’m looking forward to getting through this week, as I celebrate my daughter’s birthday and then head to Manchester to go shimmie down at Social Chain. (If you know me, you know i’m excited about that.) I’ve gone through literally fifty nine thousand emails today…well half of them…and managed to *tick box* the people, events and brands that I fancy teaming up with…and rethink the ones that aren’t maybe very Me. It’s not about doing everything, it’s about doing all the right things. I’ve learnt that lesson the hard way.

I went through them with a friend, yet my friend is very ‘yes, yes, to everything…’ so by the time she had got through 22 emails, she had already made a pile of ‘think you should do’s deffo’ to 19 of them. Lol. And I WANT TO DO THEM ALL, but whilst there’s just sort of me, and no team, I can’t get my head or TIME around it all. I told you, I need help.

I have a busy week ahead, but i’m going to chill through it and smell the roses. I’m not someone to get stressed over nada. I’m positive. I beam and right now, i’m very Girl Power.

Oh! And I had Mel ask me the other day if my actual real name was ‘Chrissie Wunna.’

She was immediately shot down by ‘Double B’ with a…

‘As if you actually know her and you’re asking if that’s her REAL NAME???’

But it’s actually a really common question. People ask me it all the time. I guess it must sound more ‘showbizzy’ than it is?

‘What? Well you never know, as loads of people have stage names?’

However, rest assured, Christina Wunna is my actual REAL LIFE birth name. And this is what I adore about my chick friends…they didn’t just *shrug* it off with a ‘okay cool…‘ they decided to come up with a MORE ORIENTAL NAME FOR ME…LMFAO.

Me: ‘What? Like Yu Ting Ho?’

Mel: ‘Hoe? HAHAHAHA!’

Like I said, life is great and even though it’s though, I’m on my way to new beginnings, good times and dreams come true, I guess..Fingers crossed.

Don’t forget that i’m in the Spring Edition of Abeiku Arthur’s High Fashion Magazine ‘House of Solo…’ I couldn’t be more honoured and well we do actually know each other well…yet still…being a part of his dream makes me smile. Plus, I’m totally being hailed as Social Media’s Newest It Girl and you know…after 10 years of writing this blog…that’s my FIRST BIG BREATHER OF ‘I’m doing it..I’m actually doing it…’ (And I think of that moment when I woke up at five in the morning, to get to that shoot, after working the longest week, with almost 11 more full works days to go after it…and I was shattered…But i did it….and because I did…I got a result.)

Please do support him and me…as he’s the loveliest, most hard working human ever…with a dream…and he’s actually doing everything he can to make it come true, as things don’t seem to be fall upon his lap as easily as they do on mine at times.

Image may contain: 1 person, text Image may contain: one or more people and text

Image may contain: one or more people and text

‘The world is her runway…/it’s all about where she goes, what she wears and who she’s seen with../She’s under constant scrutiny but takes it all in her stride, exuding confidence and perfect comfort in her own skin. She has an impossible to name cool factor..and exploits it in order to build a career in what’s becoming a legitimate and lucrative industry born from ‘it ‘ mania. It’s these qualities that make her such a coveted marketing tool for the world biggest brands..’

Loves it!

Before I go, I want to make sure you know that you can make ANYTHING HAPPEN in life. You YOUR LIFE and YOUR LIFE is SO PRECIOUS. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something and don’t make up a million excuses as to WHY YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING. Don’t waste your time, or energy and don’t listen to the people who ‘hate’ on you for trying. Just because they couldn’t do it..doesn’t mean you can’t. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. If you don’t like something, change it…Don’t be scared to change it. Life will always pull the rug from under you. Be that in business, in love, in general…But as long as you can pick yourself UP, every single time, without bruises and with a warm heart, a smile and an even deeper desire to succeed….YOU WILL FUCKING GET THERE. You’ll get there, if you put in the work. People succeed on purpose…they’re not lucky. I always say I’m lucky, but the truth is, I’VE WORKED MY FUCKING ARSE OFF. To be honest…I don’t know what’s going to happen to me…I just know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

And for the first time in my entire life….without me ‘just saying it,’ You could look into my entire kitty soul and know that this time..I really believe it. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Real Picture, Love & 100 Years

I’m meant to be a Baby Shower right now, but i’ve only just got home and even though Baby Junior has trotted off with Grandma, after Keiran got busy, I have a Baby Ruby almost en route home…so now…there’s no chance of me making it. (But I did get my nails done inbetween, whilst waiting. 🙂 What? I needed a treat! Hard working women and mums must always take time to spoil themselves. Lol. It’s vital. It’s sexy It’s what being a girl is all about.)

I’ve gotten all these Snapchats from ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ moaning at me with moan selfies with tag lines that read ‘Worst friend ever’ and ‘middle fingers.’ Hahahah! But sometimes a chick’s just got to waist train and have a wine, after a stressy day. (Dear, ‘The Mighty’ please blame Keiran. 🙂 )

Lots happened from my trip from destination A, which was Doncaster to my journey to the ‘didn’t get there’ Baby Shower. I got heavily distracted. Firstly, a stranger stopped me (I get stopped a lot) and told me that her husband had left her and she was now a single mum of two and had no one because she had moved over from Vietnam and life was a struggle. I was getting my nails done and I just looked up at her and promised her that it was going to be okay…

‘But I don’t have anyone???’ (This has all JUST happened to her.)

Again, I just looked up at her, knowing that I had been in her exact same heels, with a new born and a 2 year old at the time….and promised her, that as long as she didn’t panic and she held her head up high, saw what was ahead and got on with it, she would be more than fine.

‘The three years on.. version of you, is really different to the right now version of you, I promise & I know that isn’t helpful at all because it seems so long away and i know that you’re going through a lot of pain, but I promise you, the worst thing you could do right now, is let yourself down.’ 

Then she walked away to deal with her own life path, as I had my nails dried off and I sauntered up, after payment and tottered quickly to get to the Baby Shower.

Distraction occurred.

‘Chrissie, I love your blog, I’m reading it every day. Please pop in here with me and let me buy you a drink..’

I had a Desperado. Oops! But it’s just so hard when someone stops you to tell you how inspired they are by you, to just say ‘Hi’ and leave and when they THEN offer you booze. Lol. What! I had to go chatter to her for a little bit. 🙂

The funny thing about the moment was that, as we sat down…some old guy started shouting over…

Bloke: ‘Ere, you. What would you do if I told ya, I fancy you right now?’

Me: ‘I’d say, you have a wedding band on…’ (First thing a girl looks at boys..and secondly, do not beckon a girl with the words ‘Ere you.’ Haha.)

Bloke: ‘It’s just a ring though, just a ring. I’m single all day long.’

I mean, why bother being so stupid? It was like some bravado show of numptiness.

Yes. It is just a ring, but it’s a ring that symbolizes the love that you have, for the girl that you’ve chosen to build your life with. If it’s just a ring, then don’t do the whole ‘vowy thing.’  You should NEVER be turning around in a bar telling some glammy chick from the Orient, that you’re ‘single all day long,’ with a wedding band on.

It doesn’t make me scorn you, or brand you a cheater, like i’m a teen or a young twenty something. It simply makes me think that you’re lost…and when I’m looking for my Mr.Right, he’s NOT LOST. He has the map, printed directons AND his emotional Sat Nav turned on. He sees me across a crowded room, he’s done his research, he makes a bee line for me and then he makes me HIS, with a click of the old charm and  just like that, I’m swept off my feet.

NOT…

He’s really pissed in a bar, probably just has a fight with his wife and then hits on the nearest girl because he feels it will make him mighty again…yet as he still has his wedding band on. Lol

I left then…and said ‘thank you’ to the blog reader.

But then as I looked down, on my totter, I saw that one of my best LA life friends had posted on Twitter. Brandon and I go back decades and I love him dearly. We’ve done so much together and we’ve been lost and found in Hollywood all at the same time whilst growing up. I adore Brandon. But boy has he been going through some shit.

Brandon Perkins was travelling to JFK Airport, New York from Aeroporti di Roma – Roma Fiumicino.

3 hrs · Fiumicino, Italy ·

‘My life story, especially in the last year, would be a dream for Hollywood writers. Watching italy disappear below the clouds, my life chapter in italy slams closed… and I have no idea what is next, but I KNOW it will be better…’

He had sent me a Facebook message to come see him in Italy, but I just didn’t have time and then he sent me another message which delivered the stress and pain he had been going through…I replied to that….

Today he made a decision….and with ALL OF MY KITTEN SOUL, I back you ALL THE WAY ON IT. I want you to get back to LA and as soon as i’m free, i’ll come see you. I promise. (Like when we were kids and I climbed ontop of that roof with you, just to make you smile on Halloween, as we sat and drank Mango Margaritas on your apartment roof, under the moon. Hahaha! I like that I was dressed as a Slutty cave girl and I liked that we *kissed* to decide if you were absolutely gay or straight! Lol.)

That kinda  made my mind take a detour from the Baby Shower. I got to a point where my totter just stopped and I just paused…Kinda like when Forrest decides to just randomly stop running….

You know, there is SO much going on in this world and this is YOUR LIFE. Your tiny dot on this planet matters…and you really can do whatever you want with your life without fear, as it’s all you actually have, without it everything stops. Be who you want, say what you want, work hard, but love harder. Be true to you, be a success, yet manage to smell the roses. I say that all the time and because I need to remind myself.

FALL IN LOVE. It’s so important. But with the right human who enchances your soul. Build a world. An empire. A family. But enjoy every second of it. The moment you don’t enjoy something, change it.

I always say to people, even Ruby my own little girl, that we are given 100 years (if we’re lucky) to live the best and most happiest version of life, that we decided for ourselves.

Don’t sweat the little things that don’t matter and make sure the big things make you smile.

There are gzillions of us on this massive Earth Ball trying to do life….

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…and we life all different versions of it.

No matter what version you choose to live, make sure that version of life makes YOUR SOUL feel at peace and fills your world with happiness.

Lots of love,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Be A Dick & Life Choices

 

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I’ve had a couple of gin and tonics so were gonna have to watch it and you’re gonna have to bare with me. 🙂 I’ve put ‘blog writing’ off all evening, as i’ve been playing with Rubes and just neglecting the art of expression via written word long after she had decided to get some kip.

In my mind it’s Christmas time now and yes we all have a ton of work. I’ve been at work all day. But come on now, let’s have a bit of fun, or decent old chilled time, where we can kick off our kitten heels and just pour ourselves an after work tipple to relax and celebrate the year!

I have a birthday in FIVE DAYS, so i have all the excuses in the world to ‘tick box’ a sack load of fun. I mean, God, life is about filling ya cup, as you can’t pour from an empty one! So let’s enjoy it, whilst we still can. (I’ve just read this scary quote that states that if we as humans slept or 8 hours per day and we live to be sixty….we will have slept for 20 years of our lives. It apparently gives us a reason to get up the first time our alarm goes off in the morning? I don’t count in any of this, as being a single mum, with full time work, if i EVER slept for 8 hours on ANY DAY, it would be a blessing.)

I’ve had a decent time today as i’ve worked hard and enjoyed banter. Apparently my blog is so good that it SENDS PEOPLE TO SLEEP! Lol.

‘Chrissie, I love reading your blog and hate it when you don’t write one, as i read it before i go to bed and it sends me to sleep!’

Hahaha! I love it! Be it comforting or boring. Or be you sixteen or sixty….I adore that you have clicked into a bit of Wunna land, before you’ve gone to ‘n’nights.’ Makes me smile! My mum also reads my blog every night before she goes to bed and then screams at me the next morning if i’ve been a dick. 🙂 It’s all about how you’ve raised your kids. 😉 LOL.)

My friend ‘The Mighty’ is about to give birth in the coming months and is preferring to surround herself with fun ‘drink too much’ friends, rather than nice stalkery ones, who we don’t know are actual normal humans or Guardian Angels? I believe in Guardian Angel pop ups. So i’m going with that. Plus, it makes more story more magical than just saying ‘stalker.’

For some reason it made me flash back to a time when a gay guy, stopped me in a club, (I think it was Pre Bar in London) and wanted to name his cat ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ in my honour. Instead he went with ‘Jackonory’..and told me this on the dance floor, as Kylie played in the background. (I had just come off the telly, trying to be best friends with Paris Hilton, at the time.) I mean, JACK…A…FUCKING …NORY! When does that ever *trump* naming your kitten ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ (That was the night Mark Byron, who’s now a Big Brother Telly Presenting Star, asked me to hide his rent money cash in my knickers so he didn’t spend it all on booze. Lol. At that time he used to give out flyers to make people venture into clubs. Now…he’s ‘Off the telly’ Mark and currently doing Panto in Liverpool, dressed as a Genie.)

Today’s ‘Bone to pick’ is this. I had some blogger chick, slag off my ‘Nominated for a UK Blog Award’ moment because it’s apparently ‘not a popularity contest and should be purely based on content.’ (She’s nominated also.)

HANG ON A SECOND MISSY! LET’S JUST TAKE THAT ‘PRINCESS’ IN YOU AND PIPE IT DOWN A NOTCH.

Firstly, you should concentrate on your own bit of cyberland and not chirp off at mine. This space ain’t rented it’s bought and it’s blooming right now, so enjoy it doll face and pour yourself a cocktail.

Secondly…BEFORE I WAS ANYTHING…I was a blogger. I wrote a blog daily in LA for years and have done for the last 10 years. EVERY DAY and when not a single soul read it! I wrote a diary for years before that, before my life story ever became ‘live.’ I wrote and documented my on goings, before ‘having a blog’ and being social media savvy was popular and that was before i became a model…a party queen Lol….before i accidentally moved back to the UK and got on the TV with Paris Hilton…before I had a book out….before i created a range for Ann Summers on the telly….before, before…before it all.

Now, i’m not stupid…All that did make my blog more popular. Yet if anything, i’ve always simply documented my life, the good bits, with the bad. You’ve heard my heart break, you’ve seen me victory dance,  you’ve listened to my make ups, breakups, watched births, my life journey, raw pain and laughter. I’ve told the story of it all. Like God, that moment when my husband left me and he did it by moving all his stuff out of the home when i was out. I came home with my 2 year old daughter and a newborn…and he was gone…All i got was a text. I told that story..and that had nothing to do with a world of limelight or a popularity contest. That was life.

Yet there have been times when i’ve partied with Leonardo Di Caprio and gone out on dates Matt Dillion and been shut in a house with Paris Hilton for a month straight as ITV2 filmed every waking moment of fun for public entertainment.

Just the same as the story above it…It was all still part of my life.

So i’m not  reality star turned blogger. I’m a writer. And i might have been ace enough to make the UK Blog Awards ‘Trend’ on Twitter. But i can’t help being that awesome. 🙂 AND that DOESN’T MEAN THE CONTENT ON MY BLOG IS SHITE.

I’ve said it once and i’ll say it again…BILLIONS OF PEOPLE are doing life, right now as we speak…I’ve simply chosen to document my version of it…Everyone’s life is important. We’re all in it together. Just these little soul dots, chilling on a giant Earth ball as we orbit the sun.

So whilst i’m being hailed as the ‘Real life Carrie Bradshaw,’ YOU are being gummy stickered with a sexy ‘Hater’ slap badge.

Okay, i’ve sipped more gin and tonic. I’m better now!

I will tell you that this Saturday, ‘House of Solo’ Mag owner Arthur and I will be headed for lunch at Gino D’Acampos new joint ‘My Restaurant’ in Leeds. I’m so excited as i’ve heard great things about it and…well i know that Gino was there himself, last night, cooking dinner for everyone! Arthur at ‘House of Solo’ and I have ended up being ace buddies. We’re both passionate about our goals, where we want to be and our own bit of business. He shot Tom Zanetti the other night for the front cover of his mag. I met Tom at the Leeds Lifestyle Awards, as he gave out the award for ‘Best Club.’ I’m definitely going to make him my new Leeds ‘hang out’ mate. As i’m sure (even though i’m doing Manchester a lot of recent) that all three of us going to help put Leeds on the map! 🙂

See! Northerners are known for having a good time. Yet we can also do business quite well to. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boy Banter, Exes & Dating

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So, i’m sat in The Mallard AFTER additional Christmas shopping at The Frenchgate in Doncaster, as Ruby breaks up from school on Friday and her teachers all deserve gifts for educating a Wunna Baby. (I’m buttering them up, as they are *zapped* with another Wunna Baby in September, as Junior struts in with a ‘teach me, teach me’ shortly and like i’ve always said Junior is the product of Keiran and I…meaning he is filled with…how do I say it? I’ll go with… ‘UMPH.’)

This is my second pit stop of the day, as i NEED wine breaks wedged into the madness of a Christmas shop, mainly because i’m an alcoholic in training, glam and an alcoholic in training.

In front of me is a gypsy couple. The wife is really quiet and the husband is all ‘barky’ loud. The kids have run off and the staff at The Mallard have done that polite ‘just so you know your child is at’ conversation, which as we know all means ‘CONTROL YOUR KIDS.’ They’re doing their own version of ‘Happily Ever After’ which to me seems a bit tense, unhappy and controlled.

There’s a dude in a giant neon jacket, with a pint, playing on a bandit. Ofcourse not winning (OH SHIT AS I’VE SAID THAT, THE BANDIT HAS LITERALLY JUST DROPPED AND HE’S WON LOADS OF QUIDS. I’M A DICKHEAD. LOL.) And there’s a bunch of boys, 20 something Donny boys chatting about chicks…

20 something boy banter is weird, it’s all about ‘but did you shag her or did you not?’ Well , it is to these boys anyway and it’s making me do cross eyebrows (I can do them now my botox has worn off.)

Part of me does find it funny, but only because it’s not happening to me. Lol. I’m a sassy girly girl, i’m not ‘cherry pie.’ I’m bantery  and fun. I adore boy chitter chatter. I’m a champion at it, as when I grew up in LA, aside from a precious handful, all my friends were gay and straight guys. They kinda rubbed off on me, which now after listening to these fellas, probably wasn’t a good thing. Haha.

‘Yeah but Dean only works at fucking Sports Direct and he says he’s got FOUR BIRDS on the go!’

(I did notice that some things never change. Men associate having love or ‘loads or birds’ with being a successful money making machine. Not true with all men, before you all start. Yet, it’s us girls that have done that to you. Well, not me, as i’m a ‘pay my own way’gal. But i get it. Dean surely couldn’t get all the birds with a Sports Direct wage to guys. Lol. DYING!!!) 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I AM NEVER MAKING FUN OF A BANDIT GUY AGAIN. HE’S JUST WON AGAIN. THE MACHINE HAS DROPPED AGAIN. He’s on the other machine now. I might start eyeing him up. 😉

Anyway, there i was thinking it was hard being a single thirty something, when i’ve just realised that it’s much shitter being a single ‘looking for love’ 20 something year old chick.

20 something year old chicks hardly ever, if never have conversations that begin with ‘I totally let him sausage me.’ That’s single 30 year old talk. Hahaha.

So right now, i’m kinda feeling pretty happy that i’m all being 30, doing well and riding solo. I did do breakfast with Keiran and the kids on Sunday morning. It’s kinda turned into a Sunday morning thing now and it’s actually lovely, like nothing’s really changed from years ago?

We were sat at the coffee shop at Ackworth Garden Centre, just being a family and i never ever thought that i would ever say this…but if you could see how giddy the kids were about it, you’d think it was a good idea. (I know, I need to stop.)

I’ll focus on the fact that he said i had a belly! (Whatever, i’m due on and had two kids. One of them his. I don’t have a belly. I look good for almost being a hundred years old in a couple weeks and birthing humans.) Do note, he was joking. But i’m not joking about this giant weird beard that he’s grown. It’s terrifying.

Happy Monday!

 

 

 

 

 

Reflective, Rummy, Right, Wrong Life Coaching

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I thought today seemed somewhat average, until I got myself home, slipped into the comfiest pj’s, had a quick phone chat with a good friend, who  motivates me, tied knots at the end of a few business bits, welcomed my Mum and poured myself a fresh gin and tonic. Once i had sat on my bed and hit that ‘starfish’ relax mode button…i sort of reflected back over my day and realised how great it actually was..and i think it was because it ended on a moment, where in which i found myself getting to know someone, who i’ve known is great and known for a short while, yet didn’t realize HOW great. It was sort of moment where in which your rapport/relationship with another being, (in my case a work chick) steps onto a new level of closeness and ‘getting to know.’I love expressive people and i love learning, understanding and sharing life experience and it seems that in that moment, time didn’t matter and we could have sat and chatted for hours over wine. We seem really different, but we have similar values and i respected her with laughter and love, simply because like me, she’s a being who no matter what will tend to whatever life chucks at her, find a solution, love and get through life with bells on…because you have to..and at the same time understand how important is it to ENJOY life. Cherish them.

She made my day worth it.

On a funnier note, and much earlier on…There i was all perky, just chatting about psychics, my humourous failed marriages, my love and everything inbetween, with all the blonds, in all of the land, as I stalked people on twitter on my lunch break and didn’t get a salad like i intended.

There was back ache and chicks wishing for ‘Menopause for Christmas.’ It got so chirpy that i listened in and belly laughed at  friends who had chosen a to theme the upcoming months with vibes of a distinct smoggy tone. LOL. It was so joyous, you could’ve slit your wrists to Adele songs…

‘It’s like Desperate December, Dry January, Fuck All February, Moody March, Awful April… IT NEVER ENDS.’

You kinda had to be there, to appreciate the moment, but it ended up being so hilarious, to the point where the life *pause* button was hit and giant laughter filled the room. (I loved ‘Fuck All Feb!’ Haha.)

I’ve got a lot going on right now. Day job, babies, blog, social stuff and this whole showbizzy magic that suddenly sprouted from nowhere. I’m being offered a lot of opportunity and to the point where i’m even having to pinch myself.

There’s a lot of interest in the blog right now, which i adore because it about life, well my version of life in general. Some people love it, some people think it’s pointless, some people live for it, read it when bored…or hate it. Yet the people with their own blogs, who waste their time hating on it, or the ones who are far to evil in their sense of competition, are usually the people who aren’t doing as well. 😉 So i’m laughing. When YOU wake up to your ‘blue tick,’ then that’s when you can sort of ‘size your blog up’ against mine. So SHUSH. *Selfie here.* Be positive and concentrate on your own delicious life content, instead of picking holes in mine. Have a RUM cocktail. (They do great ones in Tiki Bars in Manchester. 😉 )

Rant over. Bra adjusted. Can you tell i’m ‘due on.’ 🙂

I had a great convo today about love and breakups. Y’know when people hold onto the past after breaking up with someone that they may have been with for years, like say…three or four years… Or whatever it is?  Yes it is a long while to spend & share with another human that you love. However,  you shouldn’t be glum after breakups that are meant to happen, because if you look at the BIG PICTURE… FOUR YEARS, in comparison to the amount of life that you have left on this planet..as in DECADES AND DECADES AND DECADES AND MORE DECADES (if you’re lucky) isn’t that long. It’s like mulling over 3 little years, when you have 4o somthing or more years LEFT of your life. That’s a lot of life to fit a lot of new beginnings or true love in. Those 3 or 4 years really ARE ‘just a chapter,’ of your story, until to finally end up with your soulmate.

If people just looked at things more positively…then they wouldn’t hold onto the ‘ouchy’ parts. Everything happens for a reason, so take the time to see what’s currently great in your life and why it is! By all means feel pain. It’s healthy. I’m an emotional, yet glamourous soul and i’ll feel everything. (Even you. 😉 ) Even if there is a sense of bravado that is displayed. Yet don’t dwell. Just remember. Experience is essential, be it good or bad, as it forms you. SAY ‘YES’ TO MORE THINGS, learn to say ‘no’ when you’re selling yourself short and create ways positively to adapt to life, when things have maybe changed permanently.

I’ve had a lot of change this year. But it’s been a great year for me. It’s been eventful, alive and champagne dripped in moments, filled with good times and laughter. Right now, if i’m honest, i’m going through a healing time, because so much has happened all at once and yeah it has been wonderful, but ofcourse a shock to my system. Change shocks me, so i need these reflective moments of ‘heal.’

I’m such an ego maniac that i know all the great things about myself. Lol. But i have noticed that i don’t always take credit where credit is maybe due and by nature i’m great at BEING generous to others, be it in work, play or love. However, i need to make sure, moving forward that others are being generous towards ME also. I need to  make sure that things are fair and that i’m never being taken advantage of…and it’s those moments of ‘heal,’ that’s what I need to work on.

It’s a happy time of year for me. I’m lucky. But i am noticing around me that it’s a strange time of year for others. As like i said, this time of year is reflective and ‘togethery.’ People tend to be reminded of the year and memories (good or bad)  and they over what they could’ve had, or should’ve done…It sort of all gets replayed, doesn’t it? Don’t feel bad if you’re going through that phase, as it really is a normal part of being human. Just don’t let it control you and instead try to simply ponder the moments, rub out those sandy footprints and make a point of moving forward with a positive outlook and that first strong,’after a long day’ cocktail. That way you CAN’T go backwards…and can only march forwards.

I’m not sure who died and made me ‘Queen of Life,’ but they did.. SO THERE. 🙂

GIVE ME WINE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

A jazzy bit of co…parenting…

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Brilliant Sunday! Woken up refreshed! Had my own loin fruit attempt to *tease* me because i looked ‘rough’ without my face on.

‘Aww, well that’s unfortunate for you two, as you BOTH seem to have the same FACE as me, without my ‘face’ on. :)’ 

Then one squeezed my boob and the other slapped my bum and they both filled the air with giggles, as they ran into Wunna land to go off and cause havoc. GOD! Why can’t i just wake up in the morning and hear a ‘You’re beautiful’ without having to go on my Facebook comment sections, or say ‘Cya, catch ya later’ to a boy who doesn’t actually love me. (Note// That doesn’t happen often. But has happened enough, throughout my lifetime. Ah fuck! Now, i’m *flashbacking* each one in turn. Happy Sunday.)

This morning, i’ve tingo, tangoed at Ackworth Garden Centre, to enjoy Christmas early with little Baby Junior. He loves it there and well we just can’t keep away. It could be Christmas every day for me. I love it. It’s my birthday soon. It’s my favourite time of year! I’m all bout the mulled wine and tinseled tits. I’ll sit on Santa’s knee any day of the year. 😉

Then we shopped for groceries, but only down all the warm isles, as i hate the cold ones, they make me feel uncomfortable and have really bad lighting. 🙂  I was in my giant white faux fur, as decent folk judged my basket…and i was fine with that as it took the focus off ME…even though it was MY basket.

‘Oh? Pull ups and wine?’ (YES, PULL UPS AND WINE. Deal with it. 🙂 )

After that Junior and I grabbed a ‘drinky methinky’ at Ego, in Ackworth. I have so much fun there and the staff are always great to my family and I. I had margaritas by a toy tractor and Junior had a double juice bonanza and got so comfy.. that he fell asleep. Haha. This is not  regular family cocktail bar etiquette. Not that it’s normal for children to be in family cocktail bars. But in Wunna land it’s pretty normal. Ruby LOVES a hotel executive suite. 😉 And it’s not even because she’s bouji, it’s simply because when she was tiny, i had to travel a lot, audition a lot and appear briefly on tv shows. I was a single mum, she had to come with me, with child care.

Anyway we ended up having to skip lunch and just get a taxi home…Junior has NEVER been in a taxi, in his entire life and doesn’t understand the concept of it all. So the absolute despair on his face, was hilarious. He gave him *daggers* the entire way home.

‘WHO IS THAT WEIRD MAN? Why are we getting into his car?’

But today i’m feeling really grateful for life and the way our little family works. First and foremost, my parents…they’re so amazing at helping me through the ‘single mum’ malarky. I’m  a ‘work really hard’ Mum…to hopefully build some wonderful empire…and well i couldn’t even try to do it without them. It’d just be shit, a lot harder and almost impossible and i’m someone who believes nothing is impossible. I’m a champ and i’m filled with determination. A guy once said that I…

‘..could walk into a room and own it and simply with a cheeky look in my eye.’ 

Anyway, the help they provide, aids me to take the elevator instead of the stairs through life and I like that. Lol. I don’t like things to be difficult, be it in work, love or pleasure. I like positive helpers outers…Men who can take control if i need them to, but who own a soft soul. I look for that quality in men always and hardly ever find it, as i associate such behavior with unconditional love.

THEN there’s the Dad’s. I literally have THE BEST ‘Baby Daddies’ in the world ever. As separate humans we’ve all been through a lot. And then with each other, we’ve (haha) CERTAINLY been through a lot. Lol. Jesus!

Yet we have so much love, time and respect for one another, glittered over with really solid friendships and really warm, not fake, co..parenting skills.The boys are cool with each other, i’m great with them both and they have additional girlfriends who have joined the team, who are nothing short of fabulous. And we co parent AS A TEAM, not as individuals. So both Dads will happily have both children and if they have a school event, EVERYONE will attend to cheer them the Wunna Babies…girlfriends n’all.

I  mean, God, last week, we were all so busy with work. I had day job and events to tend to for the blog,with a bundle of entertainmenty stuff. Keiran was having to work hard and maybe away,. Pete was ‘working working’ rushed off his feet, so Jade (Keiran’s girlfriend) had to do the early morning nursery drop off and Alice, (Pete’s Doll) had Ruby sleep over at her place, just so she could do the school run for me, in the morning…HOW SWEET IS THAT! And it all works swimmingly, with zero drama. Alice works at the nursery that Junior goes to,  so it was actually quite funny, as once she had dropped Ruby off at school, she dashed to work and met Jade, who dropped Junior off at nursery 🙂

Maybe Keiran, Pete and I have just manipulated the masses and managed to get other people parent for us. Lol. YAY!

But to anyone going through rough co..parenting times. It’s not worth the battle. I went through the hard times…so believe me, it’s not worth the ‘waste of time.’ Only fight if your child is in danger by being with the other parent.

I mean, so what if you’ve broken up, or he has a new girlfriend and life has turned things upside down. It’s a test of your strength and compassion and the ability to understand. It’s how it is and you have to move quickly into a better box, where in which you can get into a decent frame of soul, so you’re not a tool…as in this situation being a tool is not attractive. You’ll  regret it.

Our parenting triangle works because we’re not ‘in love’ with one another anymore. We’re friends who share babies, but we care enough to make it MORE than work. We smash it! And we don’t just do it because it’s the right thing, we do it because we’re all close. I mean GOD I was married to Keiran and Jeeze, i’ve known Pete since he was 11 and he’s now 31! They’re not idiot guys and i’m not an idiot girl. They’re people that i care for as family…I spent chapters of my life loving them and the kids adore how it all works. They even get excited over the fact that i might pick a guy to ‘join the team’ so to speak. Lol. We’re recruiting! Haha.

‘Who’s it gonna be Mum?’

Both boys will simply say that it works because i’m a positive soul…a decent chick, I just have ‘this way of making everything wonderful’ and our friends will say, infact i heard a guy in a bar once say…

‘that situation couldn’t have worked out any better, than it has. It’s crazy how great it is.

That makes me smile and it’s just getting better and better!