The Day I Got Played, Threesomes & Raps…

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

Chick Friend: What you up too?

Me: ‘I’ve been working since 4.30 this morning.’

Chick Friend: ‘But what you up to now?’

Me: ‘I’m sprawled on my goddamn bed, in a sequin bikini, trying to influence a necklace..’

Chick Friend: ‘Get to the pub please…I need to speak to ya..’

Afternoony, my ‘Cheeky Cheekies!’ How are ya! Great weather again. Life is grand. I’m feeling hormonally imbalanced….but on the whole good. I’m stressing over nothing, as per usual….but i’m getting the hang of letting my mind rest. There’s a lot I have to do, or feel like I need to accomplish right now…and that is twirling through my head. Probably why, I’m pouring that extra glass of vino. 🙂

Anyway, yesterday I got to hang out with a new friend of mine, ‘J.D,’ who’s actually ‘Katy P’s’ mate…over a quick iced wine. J.D’s always great to just sit and chat with, in the sunshine (yes only in the sunshine, I don’t have friends in the rain,) because he’s like Buddha. Lol. He’s all calm, but fun..yet insightful. He always has a really shit love life, however really great at giving honest love life advice.

Honesty, maybe a week ago, he told me to send a guy a message, that i would never have sent…

JD: ‘He’ll definitely respond to that…He’s waiting for you to show interest..and if he doesn’t…He’s not worth ya time..’

I listened. It worked and now Katy P, J.D and I always do afternoon wines, when free.

So, yesterday, I was rambling on about how the people in LA are far less judgmental and far more open, than they are here in the UK. I mean growing up in West Hollywood..anything goes! No one judges anyone, on anything and mainly because everyone in that town is in entertainment, be you a model or an actress…and on a daily basis, as you are going from audition to audition, at Warner Brothers, Disney, Paramount…some casting office….you are being heavily JUDGED constantly….for work.

There’s also the fact that so much shit goes on, that we’ve kinda seen, been and heard it all. The things that would be seen as taboo over here, is taking with a pinch of..well…tequila over there. Lol

And ofcourse, because i’m a plank, the example I used was this…

‘Well one day, a chick friend of mine came into work, looking all glamourously worried and she kinda  just whispered to me that she had had sex with a co worker (we all worked in a celebrity gym at the time Lol) AND HIS MATE…at the same time….the night before.’

I described the incident in more graphic detail for JD. 🙂 Let’s just say…she as BUSY. Hahaha.

Infact, let me take you back about 14 years….(as if it’s been that long, ) this is how the story went…We’re at Crunch Gym, on Sunset, West Hollywood….checking in for a shift…

Chick: ‘Omg. So I had accidentally had a threesome last night with Rob and his mate…What the fuck…I’m like working with him later…’

Me: ‘Omg. NO! Hahah. After work… the night before, he asked me back to HIS…AND I had sex tooo! Not with his mate though. Lol. Shit. I sent him that needy as fuck text…Haha. I send him the needy as fuck text…when you were giving him a blow job. Hahaha.’

Chick: ‘Hahaha. He’s totally done us over.’

And yes, you may think this is all rather slutty etc etc…blah…But it’s life and well in Hollywood….being a young 20 something….Shit like this DOES NOT MATTER. It doesn’t even nearly graze the surface, of what you’ll actually go through.

So me, being me…and I’ll about ‘airing and sharing,’ I decided to wait until Rob came on his shift, so I could confront him. 🙂 We’re girls. We like to see a boy squirm.

It went like this…

Me: ‘Yo Rob…’

Rob: ‘Hey..’

Me: ‘You totally slept me with and then had a threesome with ******* the next night. I sent you that needy text…Just make like that didn’t happen…’

And you know what he did…because a BRITISH BOY, would have gone white with panic, tried to figure out some kind of last minute excuse, admitted it sheepishly, pretended that he hadn’t heard you, or just be all cocky because he’s been caught out.

Rob *paused* then PISSED HIMSELF LAUGHING. Lol. Literally laughed SO LOUD, in my face that he almost teared up and cried. He found it that funny, that he managed to play us both.

And because’re we’re LA…and he had just shouted out a ‘YES’ with an air pump… I started laughing…then my chick friend, who was unfortunate enough to have the threesome started pissing herself…and just like that….it was forgotten about, taken so lightly, filed under ‘life’ and today we’re all STILL (14 years on) the best of friends. It’s such a great story…

But what I’m saying is, that if the same story happened here, with some of my UK chick friends…it would’ve been drama…for weeks, months, maybe even years…

So I guess doing my 20’s in LA, kinda made me open minded, open hearted and a hell of a lot more relaxed. Like you can’t shock me..at all.

I mean, even when all three of us were laughing, my roommate walked by, who also worked at the gym, (who was a super popular male model)..looked over, said this..

Justin: ‘What you laughing at?’

Me: ‘Rob had a threesome with ****, but slept with ME the night before.. I sent him a needy text…whilst **** was giving him a blow job…lol That’s how lame I am.’

Justin…’Uh….Do you wanna get lunch…?’

Like that is how much IT SHOCKED Justin…my roomy, because he was SO LA. Infact, i think he was actually dating a really famous Pornstar at the time…because she was always in our condo, watching ‘Jackass.’ Justin & I were really great roommates because we did everything together…and had the same friends. The only time we ever argued, was once when he marched up to the top floor (which was my floor) of our condo…utterly wasted and decided to throw a tantrum because I refused to have sex with him. Hahaha.

Long story short….Rob’s laughing and making fun of me didn’t end there…

He then proceeded to write and PERFORM  RAP, that he had dedicated to ME called..

‘I hit, but I quit, because I found a better girl.’

Hahaha

He performed it with such vigor and even beat boxed it at me. Lol. I mean WHO DOES THAT…EVER…

Hahahaha.

But it’s such a hilarious memory….Plus, we were both models at the time and often we would get interviewed and asked how we knew each other and if we had any stories to share…

And being perfectly PR’d…we’d both just smile…make up a lame story, say we used to work together and hug…

Hahahaha.

I must have delivered my story in one whole breath, because I paused, looked up and JD….who is utterly SAINTLY. I mean, he’s such a gentleman, a bit wet maybe, some would say? Yet, such a good human. He looks out for people, selflessly…

I looked at him and he had thrown his head back in absolute hysterics, laughing SO LOUD and so hard that he was crying! 🙂

It was almost as if, in that moment, I made this little saint of a friend…feel ALIVE…(fair enough, at the expense of my dignity Lol)…But what i’ll tell you, is that THAT is not only a gift, or a talent…Yet it is always why or how this little blog works….

Love ya,

Chrissie x

Ps, I’ve just got an Insta DM from one of my best LA guy friends Theo…and all it reads is..

‘I miss you.’

How sweet. 🙂

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

 

 

 

 

When I did Creator Hair….

So, the clock struck noon and after a morning of work in Doncaster, (the jolly town that birthed me…) I kinda *blinked* and found myself on a corner of 210-214 West Street in the middle of Sheffield, City Centre…outside a bouji glass door. A glass door, that would tinker me straight into Creator Hair. 

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I said previously, I’d met Sam, Zara and ‘Flat Capped D,’ at an event in Leeds, last Wednesday night…and after adoring the balls of them..quite madly, which was followed by a few ‘back & forth‘ whatsapp messages …I’d booked myself in, with the ever delicious, Sam, who agreed to give my hair, a good ‘glamour pussy’ seeing to.

‘Hiya! It’s me. I’ve got a noon appointment..’

They already knew. They already had it sorted, and as a lady took my faux fur from me, for ‘hang up,’ I kinda eye scanned the place quickly, but simply because it’s habit.

Creator Hair is literally brimming with style. It’s so well designed, with a modern, classy twist. It’s spacious, it’s open, there’s an absolute vibe of coolness. It’s busy. It’s alive. The service is impeccable. The staff couldn’t be friendly (which automatically flourishes you with comfort) and well how can I describe it? The sight of the place and the sound of the place, almost gives you a ‘FEEL.’ It makes you feel like you’re in a bouji hotel, or an executive suite. It plays with your senses….if you just relax and let it.

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And thank GOD for IT, because straight away always makes me feel safe. Lol. If you don’t know me personally. I’m bubbly and quite confident, yet I ALWAYS get anxious, whenever I first walk into a place. I have no clue why? It just happens. Yet, after a few minutes of me *yakking,* to disguise the fact that i’m terrified…I was okay again. 🙂

Me: ‘It’s bouji in here. I love it. It’s beautiful.’

Sam: ‘Hey..How are you? D’ya wanna come sit over her..’

Me: ‘I’ve got a whole bunch of clip in’s in. Shall I take’em out? I had this updo in that I didn’t like, so I switched it out, at the last minute, in Doncaster.’

Sam: ‘Yeah, what d’ya want doing?’

Me: ‘Whatever you want boys…. 😉 ‘

Flat Capped D: ‘I’m thinking, BIG, CURLY, VOLUMED, yeah…?’

Me: ‘Yeah, I love it! Like delicious and glamour pussy.’

Sam: ‘Have you ever had your hair curly before? Oh and it’s jacket..’

(He was holding out the ‘hairdressy gown.’)

Me: ‘Yeah, back in LA, I had it HUGE because I was an old school glamour model. Lol Oh? Thanks.’

So, as he smiled with his eyes, he walked me through the salon for a wash and a bit of glamourous banter.

Sam’s really easy to get along with. I find him really down to earth. There’s parts of him that are sassy. But he’s fun. He’s witty. He has a good sense of humour. He’s helpful. He’s creative. He looks composed. He won’t take nonsense. Yet, there’s a delicateness to him. A side that you just want to mother.

He’s quite easy to read. He’ll sometimes say nothing, but I can watch his face and know what he’s thinking. He’s layered, but he’s fun loving. He’s a gentleman…it’s just certainly swirled in sex appeal. I love him. He’s ace. I actually never knew he was in Yorkshire.

Sam: ‘So Zara & I read the blog, we were in..’

Me: ‘Aw! Good. I’m glad. The one where I made you sound amazing. Lol.’

Sam: ‘Haha…yeah…’

But then I couldn’t concentrate, because he was innocentlymassaging’ my head,…and flowing water through my hair, just doing normal ‘hair washy’ things….Lol….but  OMG, it felt like the most EROTIC THING EVER. I couldn’t even cope. If he had touched, massaged or just anything a moment longer, he would’ve had no hope. I would’ve *pounced* on him.

My loins nearly burned away. Hahaha.

I had to sort of keep calm by making ‘pleasant,’ normal conservation… about dating and makeup shit, so I could pretend that I was all *swag* about it. Lol.

Poor guy. Haha.

I mean, Thank God, Zara showed up at that point and came to sit down, for girly chatter, because I NEEDED to be FULLY DISTRACTED from the ‘Reecey’ head massage. She must have felt my womanly pulse, from afar. Lol.

I love Zara, she just fills me with life, because I find her so vibrant.’ She’s funny and when she calmly bursts into my life path every now again, it couldn’t be more refreshing. Her personality is a really good balance of everything! I love that in people.

Zara: ‘Gosh. You look so glamourous.’

Me: ‘Aww. Thank you. YOU look amazing.’

Zara: ‘Oh Hi Sam. I haven’t spoken to you all morning.’

Then with a *blink* I was sort of sat back in the chair, being pumped upward, in front of large mirrors, wishing I had a wine.

Sam: ‘You know we sell wine. Like you can buy drinks here. You want one?’

Me: ‘Yeah. God! I want wine!!’

And he passes me a mini drinks menu…and before you know it, I had a wine in my hand…

Sam: ‘Hmm…Starting early, are we?

Me: ‘As if. 12.0is a perfectly acceptable time to have a drink.’

Sam: ‘Before noon you’re an alcoholic. Zara’s bringing it over.’

I’m a sucker for a good time. So I went with ‘fuck it.’ 🙂 Well… in fact, I ended up having two wines, because…let’s put it this way…One of the reasons why I adore Sam, is because he can naturally recognize when my glass is almost empty…and sort out the problem.

‘You want another wine? It’s really hot in here. I’m boiling me. Are you?’

It means he’s aware of the little things, the small things…aware of his immediately surroundings…and also knows that I NEED WINE, without me having to prompt him. 🙂

That’s an attractive quality. It apparently means he’s quite nurturing. (So there you go Ladies, ‘NURTURING‘ has been plonked on the list.)

So, he’s curling my hair with his wand 😉 and we’re chittering…We’re chatting about EVERYTHING… his life, my life, his story, my story…what makes us tick, what we don’t like…We’re laughing at the shit things, good things, bad things… telling tales about all sorts and we’re chittering on about meditating…

Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing and indoor Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing and indoor

Sam: ‘I do meditate…and I write three positive things down after each day.’

Me: ‘You should write a diary.’

Sam: ‘Inspire me.’

Me: ‘Every day, just write out pieces of what happened to you that day….and only focus on how someone or something made or makes YOU FEEL. Like it has to only be based on private emotion. It’s honestly a form of therapy. Once you get started and look back on it, it’s like magic.’

(And it really is!  Expression is the simpliest form of keeping a healthy soul. That’s why I love to keep a diary. SO many people are SO internally messed up because they feel far too emotionally trapped, and cannot find it in them to just express in general. It’s unhealthy.)

He won’t start a diary. Lol.

Anyway, long story short, he’s kitten curling away. (I don’t know he put up with me, *yakking* on at him for that long. I must’ve drove him nuts.)  I’m drinking wine, ‘Flat Capped D’ is giving me back my ‘clip ins’ because they just wouldn’t curl…and I guess we both started talking about our love lives…But that was after this…

Me: ‘OMG. I have such a low pain threshold. Don’t let that wand get my ear..’

Sam: ‘Haha. I’ve never burnt anyone yet. I mean, I do this weird thing with the hair dryer sometimes…But I won’t burn you. Haha.’

Me: ‘Good, cos you don’t want to end up with a crying crazy Asian lady on your hands.’

Sam: ‘Hahaha….Have you ‘eard this…(*He’s Yorkshire, like me…but definitely doesn’t sound it*) She said if I burn her, she’s gonna turn into a crying, crazy asian.. Lol.  I’m hungry now…I’ve got my pack up downstairs. Oh, I did actually burn myself by accident, the other day with the wand.’

‘I WILL cry SAM! I’m emotional. I’m filling up now! Lol.’

Then we’re talking about holidays. He’s off to Ibiza on a stag do shortly. I love stag do’s..cos they’re much more exciting than hen dos. I don’t like ‘cheaty’ ones though. Like what’s the point in ‘I doing it‘ if ya gonna have a cheeky ‘ bend over’ before the big day. Lol.

I went on about my marriages. But luckily for me…Sam is just as unlucky in love, as I am. It’s like the Good Lord swizzled our paths at a crossing, and plonked the two most unluckiest people, who Cupid hates….in front of a mirror, to play ‘hairdressing.’

(I believe you meet everyone for a reason. I don’t yet know why i have to meet him? But I’ll soon find out soon enough… life’ll chuck a welly at me.)

Me: ‘Yeah. But i’ve been married three times..’

Sam: ‘What!! Lol.’

(Everyone always does a face at me whenever I say that. But I don’t know why? It’s just my story. I’ve done it now. I’m a love bunny. I’m positive. I’m all FOURTH TIME LUCKY. 🙂 ) 

Sam: ‘I can’t even hold a girlfriend down, let alone a wife. Haha. But i’m happy with single life right now. But you do definitely need a girlfriend when ya hungover. Lol. I want someone who KNOWS what they want and not too far away.’

Me: ‘Yeah, but love isn’t about geography. It’s about chemistry.’

Sam: ‘It’s a ball ache though innit.’

Me: ‘Hahah. Yeah.’

I’m not really gonna tell you anything else, because I adore an air of mystery.  I love being open, yet at the same time, I love keeping parts to myself. He seems really happy and he’s just concentrating on work right now.

But I had such a great time. It was so much fun. I mean my HAIR LOOKED AMAZING. It was delicious. He’d did such a great job…and i’m really really picky. I’d say, if I didn’t like something.  But I just loved it. I felt glammy.

How HE or any of the other stylists, have the actual patience to stand there ALL day and do people’s hair, is beyond me? It’s really hard work.

Me: ‘I’d start someone’s hair and just be like…BLAH…i don’t wanna do the rest. Lol’

I was really impressed all around, with everyone in the salon. The actual service and absolute quality of their work is  simply outstanding.

‘Flat Capped D’ came to have a look…and take a couple pics.( I like ‘Flat Capped D,’ I always want to cuddle him. He wasn’t actually in a flat cap, that day, but when I met him he was.) 

Zara popped back for sofa chats with me and I just really adore her. I’m really glad to have met her. I’m really glad to have cross paths with them all.

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She actually sent me a message that read…

‘Can’t wait til we next meet. You’re just a whirlwind, a wonderful, bubbly whirlwind’

How nice is that! It made me beam. I love it when people make me beam. It’s heart warming. I tottered through the city streets with a smile on my face.

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Then with hugs all around, I finished my wine and left the building to do a couple drinks in Sheffield…by myself.

My time at the salon was almost like a calming bubble of protection. It kept me safe from the real world. Lol. It was bliss. I’d go everyday, just for wine. Lol

Hours later, I get harassed by what I call ‘perv central’ to the point where I’m scrambling to leave and Sam has a really BIG car crash…and breaks his flipping hand. Lol.

Whatsapp msg:

Sam: ‘Sorry, i’ve just got home, was in a really bad crash earlier…just got back from A& E. Hope you loved your hair!’

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And that…. is what I call…

Life…

 

 

 

Taxis to Angelica, Sam Reece & Curly Blows…

So, I walk out the ‘back room‘ door, now armed with a pink vodka… I thank Gemma, for my ‘back room’ shindig…and Sam Reece walks out of the loo door, at the exact same time. He’s in a hat, skinny jeans….and let’s face it, he’s a much talked about ‘handsome’ that the ladies can’t help but adore…They all love a bit of ‘The Reecey,’ because he *oozes* a charm that is almost magnetic.

All the charm. All the *ooze.* All the hats?

Yet, I needed to go find Sophia…because I’d been meaning to speak to her all night. So, I had to totter off, by the now performing dancing ‘Gatsby Girls,’ who were body popping with ‘ooh faces,‘ tassels and winks galore.. and the poor kittens had to do all that ‘jiggery,’ to  a crowd of Reality TV faces…

Me: ‘Hiya! I wanted to come say hello. I JUST missed you in Spain. Literally as you were just getting onto Spanish soil, I was getting into a taxi back to the airport!

Sophia: ‘I know! I wish I had seen you! It was a good time. I wish I would’ve shot with you too!’

Me: ‘I know. Great combo. I love you. I’ve been watching ya stories.’

Now, in case you didn’t know. I adore Sophia. She’s young and currently on this series of ‘Ex on The Beach’ on MTV. She’d just had a drink ‘swilled’ in her face on the telly the evening before and she reigns by the last name ‘Filipe.

‘I’m Portugese.’

She’s a DREAM. After speaking to her, she is LITERALLY one of my favourite chicks ever. I just love her. So, I need to drink with her again…and will absolutely stalk her until she’s free. 😉

We chatted for quite a while and for someone who’s brand new to all this ‘on the telly,’ entertainment marlarky, she is the most savvy, together, and hilarious girl i’ve met. She’s quick witted. She’s fun. She’s smart. She’s a glamour puss, yet… like moi, (even if I do say so myself,) she’s one of the most ‘down to earth‘ chicas, you’re ever gonna run into. I could’ve chatted to her all night. Yet instead we pissed ourselves.. at OUR OWN rubbish sense of humours, giggled with ‘Marlie Weekender’ and bantered with the super sweet Joe Angus, (who is set to be the new ‘Scotty T.’)

Me: ‘Have to told Scotty that!’

Joe: ‘Yeah…Haha. I saw him in a club.’

Joe was actually really sweet…I don’t know how to describe him? He seemed sweet like ‘apple pie.’ He’s Geordie and sensible, but still giddy and fun. He’s one of the good guys…all responsible, all ‘on time‘ and shit… and offered to drive people everywhere….because he’s kind like that. Lol. He even brought a hoodie, to keep himself warm and normal. 🙂 If you grew up in LA, he’s like what we used to refer to, as the ‘Good Midwestern Boy.’ But he’s British…and from Newcastle.

Get it? Good!

Long story short…The night at ‘Weaves & Waves’ was coming to an end…We’d all at so much to drink. We’d all embraced a bit of an event…and just now needed MORE, MORE MORE….As per usual…everyone fancied going for a few more drinks around Leeds. So fuck it…we did. Everyone always pretends like they’re deciding, and just goes anyway. 😉 (That always happens at events.)

I was chatting to ‘Marlie Weekender..’

Marlie: ‘My Mum is literally the best photographer.Honestly, you don’t even know. She’s like…pose like this. Pose like that…. I don’t know if I like the guy that I brought? I mean he’s hot, but he’s not that social.

Me: ‘She’s like your Momager. Lol. Which guy? Oh him? He’s hot. Why do I feel like a drag queen right now?’

Karl: ‘I like you. You make me laugh…Why don’t you come over here?’

(We start walking over to his crew of ‘friendlies.’)

People started getting into taxis, left, right and centre to….

‘Shall we meet at Angelica’s?

But I followed Karl, because he was gay and that’s what happens, in my world…

Anyway,  I start chatting to his friends Zara, a guy in a cool flat cap (i’m so sorry, I forgot your name) and Sam…(as in ‘Reece.’) They’re all hair stylists and work at a salon in Sheffield…I think it’s called ‘Creator.’ They came as a ‘crew.’

Banter, giggles, whispers and those moments when you don’t know the person you’re conversing with too personally, however you’re liking them, BUT still sizing them up.

‘Why does that dude, look like he’s poured himself into that shirt?’

Me: ‘Hahaha. I like that. His jeans are too skinny though! God!’

Karl: ‘Haha. I love you.’

We all decide to go for ‘one more’ at Angelica’s…But Sam can’t fit me in his car…

Sam: ‘I don’t have enough room in the car.’

Zara: ‘Meet us there…’

Me: ‘Can’t I just fit in the boot? I’m Asian. I’m fine with that.’

Then as everyone kept passing me shit loads of cocktails, to try and ‘finish up,’ and Weaves & Waves were on a ‘Key Hunt.’

‘Why is the key in Manchester???’

I jumped into a taxi with Rick (who organised the event)..

Rick: ‘Chrissie. I like you. It’s funny. I didn’t expect to. Did you win the Paris Hilton Show…’

…and the sexy Emma Woodhams…Who had definitely decided mid journey that she maybe hated all men and that she was definitely Beyonce in her ‘Destiny Childs’ days…

‘Look at me. I am.’

(Notice how everyone doesn’t expect to like me….Lol.)

We couldn’t find Angelica’s for ages. I asked everyone. Rick ran up and down escalators the wrong way, Emma danced and we maybe found Lego Land, whilst singing. I’ve been to Angelica’s 1 million times…so the fact that I couldn’t find it, means cocktails stole my soul.

Me: ‘This is like following the yellow brick road…TO HELL. How have I ended up with you too?’

Then a random helpful dude, pointed at a neon sign above, like it was a sign sent from the Gods…it read…

‘ANGELICA.’ 😉

And after what felt like a marathon, three trip ups, another escalator, a donkey, 42 piggy back rides, a ‘tuk tuk’ wave down… and 42 lifts… We got there…

Me: How the FUCK, do we get to that SIGN…!! Are we…?’

Random Lady (as the elevator door opens):…’Yes, you’re here..’

Prosecco was poured. I spotted Sam, Zara and ‘le crew’ over at a table…we ‘eye clocked..’

But Rick had decided to order us all prosecco, so under the stars, on the roof terrace, we all chatted life, as we pondered our existences.

Me: ‘Right, I’m gonna snapchat the table, so if any of you are doing or saying things you don’t what people to hear…DON’T.’

Everyone laughed…then stopped sinning, for exactly 10 seconds.

NO Filter.

After banter, I decided to go back to chat to Sam and crew….

‘I’m off over there now…’

…who decided to shimmie onto the roof terrace anyway.

Zara: ‘We’re going after this one.’

They ended up staying…and it ended up being really fun. I love to chill and just drinky sip, as I chitter….It’s like the perfect scene for a bit of Wunna Land.

Zara: ‘So have you two known each other for ages?’

Me: ‘No.’

Sam: ‘No…We’ve just met tonight. In fact, I don’t even know you’re name…What is it?’

Zara: ‘Oh? I thought you two had known each other for years…’

Sam: ‘So you’re a blogger, right? Are you in Leeds, cos i’m just in Sheffield? I really like Leeds.’

Before conversations and sitting down on the evening rooftop terrace began, he had to REMOVE the pure sheepskin throw that was laid on his seat…He did so by just chucking it on the floor, in a good old lothario fashion…

Sam: ‘It might have bugs in it… Haha.’

Me: ‘Don’t tell me that, when I’ve got half my arse on it..’

My bum cushioned that flipping sheepskin. It probably thought it’s Mama was back for a nuzzle.  Sam can make ‘throwing sheep’ off chairs look sexy. I just sat on mine…I’m a glamour puss, but sometimes my arse just needs to chill…  then had to pull tables across….. so everyone could fit.

We’re all talking. I’m getting to know everyone. I’m warming up to Zara, because she’s a ‘tough crowd’ when she’s around idiots and bullshit. She doesn’t like it. She’s straight forward, direct and actually lots of fun. I loved her. She’s northern, like moi and will literally just ‘tell it how it is.’

Zara: ‘I just can’t deal with bullshit…and they’re bullshit.’

Me: ‘She’s cool though. The rest of them seem really young.;

Sam: ‘Yeah, I like her. She’s banter like a lad…’

By this point, a gaggle of girls had surrounded the table, all giggly and young, they were oozing with absolute delight, BUT WEIRDLY trying to pretend that they didn’t know who Sam Reece was…Yet, knew his name was ‘Sam Reece’ because the fucking said it enough. 😉

This is all you could hear for the next 10 minutes…

‘Are you Sam Reece?’ Sam Reece? It’s Sam Reece. Is it Sam Reece? Sam Reiss? No, Sam Reece. Sam Reece! What do you do? I thought you meant Reiss? As if it’s Sam Reece…Are you Sam Reece…’

Then everyone asked for a ‘Curly Blow.’ 😉

Sam: ‘It just sounds so naughty. Hahah.’

Me: ‘I know. I love it. Hahaha. I want a curly blow.’

Zara: ‘I don’t know how he deals with that…’

(Some girl was tossing her hair in Zara’s face and sat in her seat…so it was all awkward and hysterical, to watch.)

But let me tell you about Sam. The most politest, almost calm, bit of gentleman…served in the style of ‘male model,’ NOT sat on sheepskin, easy going…down to earth…God of all sex appeal. He’s confident, he’s not afraid to try and win a lady over….even though he’ll do so with swag. It’s delivered with a handsome banter… a chilled directness….almost a determination, that doesn’t make him look foolish. He likes to get what he wants, but his soul is good. He’s definitely one of the good guys, yet there’s an ambition in his eyes…Easiest person to talk to…Northern..

You can’t help but like this guy… I mean for someone who’s quite prejudged…and i know how that feels….he’s extremely likeable…

And I only know all this, because well all accidentally had to become his ‘wing man‘ and we were all shit at it. No. I take that back. i’m really good at being ‘wing man.’

We all ended up going home after a few more…We definitely didn’t let anyone get in our elevator… A girl was screaming for us to wait to get into our lift…and it looked like she’d be ages and have 40 friends and Elvis with her…

Sam: ‘I can’t be arsed with that….shut the doors… Haha.’

Then everyone decided to wait for me, on Boar Lane, because my car had got lost…and I couldn’t describe where I was appropriately.

‘I’ve just walked out Trinity and now i’m by Mcdonalds and Nandos…on the corner…’

Zara: We’re waiting because we want to. Don’t be silly. I’m not leaving you here. Shut up, you.’

Me: ‘I’m fine. Just go..’

And because i’m obviously shite at directing anything, Sam takes my phone out my hands…and like some tattooed ‘all together’ hero, starts chatting and solves my first world….’where is the driver’ issues..

‘Is it that Range Rover? It’s here.’

Everyone gets kisses, everyone makes sure I get home safe….THEY go on to Fiber…I get my sorry ass home.

I’m actually at their salon on Thursday….And I’m really excited to see everyone again.

The reason why I loved the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event so much, was that it was actually filled with people, who I loved. That hardly happens….And, it was great because everyone there was ‘alive’ and everyone their was filled with personality. They were all open and easy going…which makes a blog really fucking easy. 😉

 

 

Loyalty, Life & Male Models

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Me: ‘He doesn’t fancy you because you’re a swimmer & he’s a male model.’

Vanny B: ‘But he should. I can swim places. I have trophies and shit.

Me: ‘Male models, are surrounded by female models ALL DAY, for work. They’re in an industry littered with the most beautiful women, and they themselves are classed as the most handsome men. Every single male model I know…has a model wife….not a swimming one. Lol.’

Vanny B: ‘But i’m in a dress…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but if SHE wore that dress, she’d look all petite, delicate and fragile. She where’s it well, because it’s her job. Throw HER, in a pool…She ain’t gonna out swim you. But whocares. Men aren’t arsed about about swim offs. They don’t pick wives on their swimming ability. I even bet that some professional male swimmers date models. Haha.’

Vanny B: ‘There are times when I love you, but today you’re such a bitch. Lol.’

I’m sassy today. But comfy! I had to take my jeans off and blog in just knickers and a top, with my legs in a sitting down ‘v’ shape and my pink laptop placed centrally inbetween. I felt all tight ans stuffly and to me that’s the worst feeling ever. I need to feel loose and comfy, in order to smash out a badass blog.

I’ve had to drag myself off instagram because it’s unhealthy for out souls. Obviously, my job is to be ‘social.’ I’m a blogger…a model…blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, I have to post daily and be all over it. YET, you can drive yourself nuts by trailing through everyone’s profiles. We waste so much time focusing on what other people are up to. We can get SO carried away and creative with it. It’s not always good. Now I just ‘post,’ leave it and ‘Thank’ the people who have taken the time to write me a comment.

(I always do that, because firstly I think it’s good manners and secondly…i’m far from stuck up. Nothing is worse to me, than stuck up talent. If you take away all the people who take the time to ‘Like/Comment/or Heart’ your content ‘socially’….then you no longer have an audience, you no longer have a social presence & you no longer have as much clout. And we’re in and still headed into a social generation. Your biggest stars of the future, WILL BE, your SOCIAL stars.

Like Gary V said, ‘Everyone thought that the TV star would never surpass the radio star….People were 10 years behind. Look what happened…It’s now the same with TV stars and Social Media stars….Start building your online business now. It doesn’t matter what field you are in…you can turn it ‘social.’

I’ve gone on a ramble. I do that! It’s shit. What was I gonna say? I got a great Snapchat from the girls this morning…filled with ‘whispers’ and giggles. I love being a girl, it’s so cute.

I’m having a decent day today. I’m checking through all my collabos and going through the ones that are well suited. It’s exciting. Lots of  ‘anti ageing’ skincare is coming my way. Lol. I’ve got the BMC email which is owned by the delighted Saffron Drewitt Barlow and Venom, which came via ‘Diags’ from Towie.

I also have shoots for brands, shoots for content and shoots for kicks. What am I on about? Nothing is for kicks.

What you need to know is that I’m loving it. I have the best job in the world, because all i’m doing is my own life…and it’s a business now. Lol.

I had really great ‘messaging‘ last night before bed and when you ‘happy message’ before bed..be it chipper or sexy…It’s always delightful. I’m naturally sexy and naturally chipper.  It helps you have the most blissful 40 winks, doesn’t it. I like going to be bed feeling somewhat adored…All of us do… We sleep better.

It kinda made me flash backed some of the moments, that we had shared, then I realized that a whole year had almost passed. That’s crazy!

He actually received meal time selfies from Wunna Land yesterday. I mean, who wouldn’t adore me, right!?! 😉 I’m fun. It’s all exciting.

But, being smart… I take everything with a ‘pinch of salt’ until I have it in my hand. (Even though I wear my heart on my sleeve.) I just don’t wanna get let down and look stupid…AGAIN. Lol.

I mean there’s always things like ‘loyalty’ and ‘thoughtfulness‘ that I always try and look for. To me, they’re things that go without saying and I’m the most loyal human. Flirty, but loyal.

It’s just something you witness over time, isn’t it…

Right, I need to get out and about and shoot some more content. It’s the most gorgeous afternoon in Yorkshire today.

I’m feeling really lucky.

Kisses,

Chrissie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All The Cock*****, Baby Jesus & Some Lovey Bits

Me: ‘Why are you mixing a witches potion…?’

Double B: ‘Why does the water cooler jacket smell like it’s been out for a cheeky cig?’

(Note, that’s actually much better than it’s natural smell of B.O.)

Utter ‘pissing ourselves’ occured…

Then ‘Double B’ follows up with a..

‘I need to go to Boots to get a scrub, my hands look like they’ve got gonorrhea. I have gonorrhea hands!’

(She had what I call ‘fake tan tiger hands.‘ But they still looked ‘bling.’ But yes, they needed a scrub. And even WORSE I got left having to mop up a bright blue floor. *Major Weeps* I’m a glamour puss. We should stick to our strengths in life. My forte is standing in cocktailed, spikey heels ON bright blue floors. I’m not blessed with the ability to MOP THEM UP effectively. *Wiggle…Wink.*Lots of swearing occurred at this point!)

Today was an easy day, where work was accomplished and it just sort of sorted itself out. I quite easily knuckled down and got on with it merrily. There was laughter, tears, and just a devastating amount of luxury biscuit scoffing. I even had to take my fucking waist trainer off to let the biscuits have a home. Get in my belly!

You do know Chrissie, that you’re only supposed to Waist Train for a couple of hours a day. Not 100 hours in one go.’

Fuck it, i’m an all or nothing girl.I’ll pour every inch of Wunna Land into everything, or do nothing with it at all. Lol.

It’s been making me grumpy and certainly ouchy. I’ve got scars and weird toilet habits now. But because it’s squashed my entire insides, I haven’t been able to eat properly at all, meaning i’m skinnier. Lol. Hurrah! Hurrah! Give me gin!

I popped that thing off privately, like Speedy Gonzales, in a frosted glassed windowed loo and then *breathed* for our Queen and Country. In the words of ‘Double B’…

‘Thank Baby Jesus and the orphans!”

I love Waist Training, but sometimes a girls godda kick back and eat a..

Mel: ‘Do you want some of my rice and curry for lunch?’

Me: ‘I can’t I’m waist training.

Mel: ‘Fine, I’ll just have to eat this big portion to myself then.’

Then we pissed ourselves laughing because ‘Firmonnell’ keeps getting a raw deal when it comes to the blog mentions.

‘Why am I the chick who has worms and privates that smell of fish!!!!!’

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, along with hard work, it seems love is in the air. Not for me. I told you, Cupid is a dick. But ‘Fairytale Blond’ is in the ‘steady away’ part of her relationship…where they’re doing the ‘looking for a house’ thing, yet it has to be fairytale perfect. She’s working hard and going through a lot of changes and will probably have twin boys because we’re forcing her to. (It’s part of the Fairytale.)

Mel’s swooning about with smiles and wine and tulips from Gary ..

Fairytale Blond: ‘Does that just happen why you’re older, cos I don’t get tulips!’

Me: ‘Don’t worry, I don’t either..’

Even Lynne (who’s in her sixties) after a bit of an office weep today, turned around and said,

You know, if I broke up with Tony, i’d never be able to start again, because there’s no one that could ever compare to my Tony.’

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HOW SWEET IS THAT!

‘My Tony.’

I want to feel that flourish! I want to wake up every single morning, look to my left (I always sleep on the right hand side now,) see the guy I’ve chosen to be with and say, ‘No one could ever compare to my….*whatever his name is…* Lol. I’ve ruined the moment haven’t I? I never thought i’d want that feeling so much, until I sat and saw her entire soul light up, having been with her husband since she was 17. She’s now sixty and you could see the love  that she had for him*oozing* from her like magic….even when she’s crying.

Now, I feel bad for saying *BLOW JOB, BLOW JOB, BLOW JOB* at her on repeat, whilst trying to describe a Valentines card poem, that I read. :

‘Yes Chrissie, I know what one of those is… I’m not that old!’

Mel pissed herself and went back in her cupboard.

Today I noticed how close we all were. We will literally tell each other everything.  We’re in this magical bubble that’s ‘just us’ and we can laugh, cry and swear at each other knowing that everything will be okay.

It was of those days were in which you just needed to add posh tapas and Sangria. (And maybe handsome Abercrombie and Fitch models.)

On the ‘entertainment’ front. I have a lot to be excited about. This Saturday I have an audition. I finally completely my interview questions for one of my favourite digital magazines. I woke up this morning to a Twitter DM from another editorial/magazine, (a big one) who told me that the editor would be getting in touch with me shortly, as they would like me to feature.

‘Can I have the cover?’

The great thing about each of these articles/editorials is that they couldn’t be MORE DIFFERENT from one another. They have very different audiences, they’re all doing really well… YET weirdly, I appeal to each one of them and their markets. Crazy isn’t it! And the tag lines to each of them are all quite ‘social’ yet all very different from the other. I’m excited for you to read them all. I can’t even believe how much my life is changing. If i do it well, I’ll champion 2017. I’m taking fruitful and somewhat glamorous baby steps.

‘You’ve got this on lock down right now girl!’

PLUS, I’m in the Spring Issue of ‘House of Solo’ magazine which you can pre order now. Its out next week! So I get to be all ‘high fashion’ at the same time. Even though i’m naked in it. Hurrah!

I’m looking forward to the events I have coming up and I have a few and also a bundle of ‘live blog’ spots that I’m going to be winking in, yet with wit, boobies, charm, love and intellect. After seeing all the pictures this morning, from the bloggers preview, that happened last night for the upcoming ‘Cocktail Experience,’ in Leeds, I couldn’t be more excited!!! I was excited anyway to be trying the finest, most creative concoctions in all the cocktaily land. I’m a cocktail SNOB. Don’t get it twisted. Shaken not stirred? I’m all ‘Shimmied with a hair toss, please.’

I know that some of you went to the preview last night and were wondering why I wasn’t there? Well, I never go to a preview of an EVENT. I’m there for the action, the show. It’s the atmosphere that gets my juices flowing. Plus, they’d prefer me to be at the actual event. 🙂 It IS something that I  do ask organisers.

Don’t get me wrong, for sneaky fashion previews…I’ll go and have a tinker. Yet events are all about THE NIGHT aren’t they. The prepping for it is stressy and jumbled and something like the Cocktail Experience is better for me to experience in the moment. I want to be around the bustle. The charm. The mood lighting. The fun. I might even take a Plus 1. IT COULD BE YOU! Sometimes bloggers get so caught up in the ‘going to the preview’ that they forget to have fun, live and write a decent, real blog, that’s filled with emotion and juice.

I’m not a review site. I’m simply a girl who tells the story of my life and that is all….I’ll do a moment of my life at your event, bar, office, in your world…And yes, i’m in a great position now, where people are filling up my inbox, with ‘come to ours’ emails…Yet their world is mixed in with my world..(like a cocktail) and that’s where the magic happens. I love it! And that’s what makes a good lifestyle ‘diary’ type blog.

I love that I had unfortunately *cropped* a picture today, so instead of it saying how much I was LOVING all the ‘Cocktail Experience’ preview pictures it read,

‘LOVING ALL THE COCK’

HAHAHAHAHA!

Obviously the story of my life.

I need to quit drinking red wine and listening to hip hop at the same time because it makes me do Wunna *tings* that get me into glamourous trouble!

*Take that rewind it back.*

(We learnt that the next bit was..

‘Lil Jon got the beat to make your booty go (clap) ‘)

Ryan in LA always used to say that red wine was my ‘truth serum.’ I wondered why he was always plying me with it! Lol. I need to stop, it’s making me feel foolish in the mornings.

Night kittens. x

 

 

Shoulda Pudda…

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I’m feeling really good today. Really good! I’m dazzled with light and life and swirling around in a magic that only a glittery magic could champion. I’m bubbling over with ‘joie de vivre’ and totally enjoying all the male models that I have going on, on my Facebook newsfeed.

I mean Gosh…Look at Tommy Maxwell…

and…Fran Murcia…

What is better than waking up on a Wednesday morning and having a newsfeed filled with eye candy! Lol.

I like the Tommy Maxwell pics A LOT! 🙂 He liked TWO of mine! Boom! HAHAHA. I love being a girl. We’re idiots! It’s just fun isn’t it though! 🙂

So, yeah a lot is happening right now. I went through it all last night, couldn’t sleep, emptied it all out and now i feel FABULOUS! I couldn’t feel better if i tried. I think sometimes we just need to get it all out and get back to ‘one’ in order to *victory air punch* and find our sense of fun again. Life is about fun and love! Enjoy it. (You miserable sods!)

I must be feeling odd though, as i nearly took up running this morning. Don’t worry..I stopped myself. I know i’m not fit enough to dare try. And i only stop myself because I saw photos of Victoria the Marathon running, doll of London’s toenails drop off….from running. That was me done. I miss Vicky…(I’ve never called her ‘Vicky’ before. If i could run, the way she could run…i’d be a happy chicken. I think there needs to be gin at the finish line…or a…pervert at the start. 🙂 )

I’m looking forward to Friday evening. I’ve had to reschedule all my botox and teeth whitening because i couldn’t find cover. (You’re all evil. I’m when i’m reschduling youth…you’re dead.) I’m loving my workmate Natalie in a tight bun. She’s struts like she’s ‘all that’ and ofcourse being ‘all that’ is my favourite. I’m missing Lydia…but i’ll see her pissed on Friday. I have a shoot booked and I start new things on Monday.

It’s hump day! I’m on DOSS mode…I love it!

I keep getting these messages from young girls who are all forlorn hen it comes to boys and dating. DO know that all single boys, are usually chatting to looooooooooaaaaads of girls. or more than one…depending on the opportunity that the God Lord has given them. I never know why girls are alarmed by that? Expect that! They’ll have a faourite girl, who is either talking back at them, or ignoring them…or whatever…some that just pass the time…But if they like you…they’ll come get you. Don’t chase them. We’re women, we’re girls…we don’t do that.

If you are doing that (a ‘green light’ is fine)…then you are doing it all wrong! Don’t let a man, make like a girl. 🙂 It is THEIR JOB to chase you and make you their ‘one and only’…. if they wish to. If they don’t…then it’s there fault. 🙂 They weren’t ready emotionally. But don’t be alarmed if a guy is talking to  bunch of chicks…it’s what they do. It doesn’t men they don’t like you…PLUS, if we do it…it’s okay? HAHA.

Don’t sell yourself short…don’t be stupid…but at the same time be open minded and loving. Be warm…true to yourself and happy.

Preach over…

Have a boogie..