When Fishermens Friends Get Sexy?

David: ‘But have you had anyone ever go down on you with a Fisherman’s Friend in their mouth?’

We all just paused and looked at him with dolly shocked faces! One minute we were talking about girl shit and diets and the next minute our guy friend, who my chick friends and I refer to as our ‘Man bitch’ (he loves it, don’t worry,) flies out with a ‘whoop..dee.’

Me: ‘Eww no. Lol.’

David: ‘It’s meant to feel really good. Make it tingle. I’ve done it on a girl but with a Halls Soother.’

Mel: ‘That sounds like it would hurt.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What if it got stuck in?’

Double B: ‘HAHAHAHA.’

I feel sorry for whoever his Hall Soother victim was. You poor girl. This goes to show how selfish boys can be. Lol. He would have healed his own sore throat and in the meantime given her a sore…£$&$£* (I’ll let you be creative here and fill in the blanks.) Try it! Blame him if it goes wrong.

Fairytale: ‘Hey up! We’ve actually got some Fisherman’s Friends in the drawer. Lol. Take some with you David!’

But anyway, away from all that. I’ve had a great week, but a dramatic week and mainly because I’ve been flirting with my hormones, ( love being a girl.) A lot of snazzy little changes and unforeseen developments have occurred in Wunna land. Great changes, nothing crazy or evil. Yet, they kinda got ‘paint balled’ at me from a good shot, from the skies and being a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, let’s just say… it’s been an ‘adventure.’ (I’ve got on with it boldy with a kitten stride of DIVA and a wiggly giggle…But it feels really good that all has settled now. I’m happy as can be and i’m smiling with excitement, whilst doing *can can* high kicks to Little Mix tracks.

Now, I’m good with changes, I meander them well and glamourously…with sex appeal. YET, this week, i’ve been in a swirl of magical emotion, that has made my little heart beam. It followed up with a SHOCK…and the reason i didn’t blog during that time was because I now refuse to write a blog until I have a clear head. Lol. Whereas before, I’d GO FOR IT REGARDLESS. I’d be brimming over with passion and i’d let that boat sail! But now, I’m officially a grown up now, a hot one. Lol. I’m officially making awesome decisions. Hot ones.

But I have a great support system, as I did need to have a big bestie VENT to ‘Firmonnell,’ because I knew that she was the chick friend who could balance me out and make me see things through rational, positive wine sips. And she did! I don’t know how she does it! Thank GOD for her and her Slimming World Self.

My Baby Cousin Natalia came up from London to spend her birthday with me and the family, armed with her boyfriend Matt. Such a great couple, such great times dining out…such wonderful awkward moments where ruby took it upon herself to force marriage upon them.

Ruby: ‘So, why are you two not married yet?’

Natalia: ‘He has to buy me a BIG sparkly RING before that happens Ruby.’

We’ve eaten everywhere. We’ve hit up some great spots. The service everywhere has been fantastic and I loved snuggling back up into my Flamingo sheets, after mojitos and messaging ‘nighty nights’ to a pretty amazing human. There might have been a selfie too. 😉

Shit, I  was going to tell you something about ‘Double B,’ but I can’t remember what the hell it was now? FUCK!

It’ll come to me? She’s all glam squad right now. All blond extensions and lip pumps. I’m loving it, because I am a chica who adores a bit of the same. I LOVE GLAMOUROUSITY. Yet, being Northern, we’re ace with it, as we don’t have rubbish sense of humours. I am the kitty queen of good times and banter winks. People think i’ll be all high maintenance and sassy…and I can be…LOL…yet most of the time i’m chilled…however, dazzled in fun.

‘Double B’ will just come out with THE MOST RANDOM bits of aceness…

‘Honestly, Chrissie. When does that point come when people just get fucking old and decide to go nuts. Literally, when is that point when they turn into a granny and just say… HEY…i’m going to be a bit mental now???’

Anyway, i’ve got to go. I’m in Doncaster all day today. I’m also popping into Malmaison Leeds later, for a business chatter. I love a hotel blog. I also adore their ‘Rock n Roll Suite.

I have a lot of exciting work stuff happening. I’ve been shooting…as in photo shooting. I’ve been auditioning and I’ve filmed a bit. I’ve promised myself that every day this week I AM GOING TO WRITE A BLOG.

Hope you have an amazing weekend!

Hope you stay away from Fishermen’s Friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Single Life at 30 & A Dash of Co..Parenting

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I cannot even tell you how wonderful it feels right now to be a 30 something ‘Singleton’ with a glow of warmth and love, yet without this bizarre ‘NEED’ for it in return and I don’t mean all this in an ‘Ooh I can get sexy with any handsome i want and be their bed warmer for kicks and no strings.’ (I’m a chick, it’s just not how we roll emotionally. We’re not wired that way. There’s always something else going on in our heads isn’t there. Lol. Tragic but true. I am naturally an unconventional traditionalist. 🙂 I like things to be done the correct way, but with a happy/funny/or positive Wunna Twist.) What I mean by all the ‘Happy Singleton’ things is that my world is utterly and COMPLETELY DRAMA FREE because of it and gosh that is BLISS!

I hearing, watching and seeing partnerships be filled with ‘smog,’ …and not that i’m smug or anything….but i’m totally smug and everything 🙂 because i have none of those negative vibes dancing around my bubble and instead it is shimming through with light, love and fun. This Christmas I am all about The Wunna Babies, life and family and let me tell you my boat is fully afloat! 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m beaming! I’ve had a great year, I’ m on a 9 day birthday countdown and i’m smashing it!

Like i said before in a previous blog, i seem empowering because i’m positive. I believe i’m powerful because of my thoughts and the fact that i can express them. I’m always one to believe that being single doesn’t THESE DAYS mean that you’re ‘no good.’ It means that you know what you want and you are not willing to just settle or tie yourself down to something that isn’t exactly right for you, and instead be smart enough to wait for the right human with the right soul. It no longer means standing at the back of a gymnasium, by the rail because no one wants to dance with you. TODAY, being a single 30 something means you can just leave whenever you feel because the party wasn’t good enough. 🙂 And feeling powerful makes you a million times more attractive. 🙂 My mojo is great right now, i should bottle it up and sell it to you. 😉

Anyway, preach over. Life!

Lot’s has happened. I have four days off work. I’m at Tiger Tiger Leeds tonight to celebrate achievements via the fine art of cocktailing and good times! I’m excited as I adore a good time in any shape or form.

Junior’s got a snotty nose. Ruby has broken up from school for Christmas and her Daddy (Pete) and I did Posh Lunch with her yesterday at Ego to make her smile. If anything Pete, Keiran and I co parent those kids like champions. Yes, it’s odd, but no one does it better than us and it’s a really hard thing to understand unless you know us personally. But we parent the children together. To be honest, both boys are going through their own dramas right now, be it in life or love…but when all’s said and done, we’re a family (and incase you have just tuned in, they are the two daddies to my two babies) and there’s a great deal of respect, laughter and love that it shared between us. I mean we’ll have our ups, downs and inbetweens at times, not often, as we get on so well. We have boyfriends and girlfriends venture in and out of the bubble…again…not often. I mean, when I dated Ben ages ago, he was great with Junior, yet rubbish with Ruby, he just didn’t understand and always tried to be her friend, yet would ‘naughty step’ her when HE couldn’t handle the situation. It got to a point where Ruby didn’t even want to be in the home around him…so immediately he was ‘Voted off the island.’ And that’s how it sort of works in Wunna land.

Harsh I know. It’s hard to date us as individuals….even without all this parenting stuff sprinkled on. Lol.

But what we do well is prioritise the children in our lives. What they want and what they need comes first and mainly because neither Pete, Keiran or I are that ‘needy’ really when it comes to love. All three of us are quite independant which makes putting Ruby and Baby J first, really easy.  I took Ruby to the park after lunch yesterday and there was a moment when she was swinging on the swing, I was pushing her, she was laid back in this orange swing, with her face looking up to the sky and her eyes closed. I watched her and asked her how she felt? How life was? And her simple reply, as she looked in utter peace and overwhelmed with glee was ‘I don’t feel good Mum. I feel GREAT! I’m really happy.’ (Her eyes still closed, her face still smiling up to the sky as she swung merrily.)

And that’s how we know that we’re doing an alright job….

A great thing about yesterday was that I bumped in my good friend Vicky. She found me on the street, adopted me and took to school (we have kids in the same school) for Christmas market trinket shopping and coffee. I’m a Prosecco Mum not a PSA Mum so i never know that things like this are going on. But it was good to see her and she’s always so filled with love and banter. We had a giggle, she borrowed my pen, wrote out my own Christmas card with it, infront of me, sealed it, signed it to me and handed it over. Lol. HAHAHA. I love it! Hilarious.

There was a glow about her yesterday as Vicky in her 40’s, found love in her 40’s (she looks like she’s just about to turn 30) and she is about to marry the man of her dreams. So she’s glowing. She asked HIM (Guy) to marry her. Sexy isn’t it! And if that isn’t girl power than i don’t know what is!! She’s always told me to hold out and wait for the ‘life enhancer.’ The guy that comes in, sweeps you off your feet, fixes things positively, lives with you, enjoys the world the way you do, loves you how you want to be loved and enhances your life. If you’re in a relationship and you do not have that, then you are with the wrong human and selling yourself short.

I’ve got a really busy day today, so i need to head off!

I’m at Tiger Tiger Leeds tonight!!

See ya. x