If You Go Down To The Woods…..

I am soooo sorry that I haven’t managed to blog in a week, but i’ve been away in the forest, i’ve had a birthday, I’ve drank my entire kitten body weight in Prosecco, spun around madly, dashed in glee….and i’m home now. I’ve had last minute shopping sprees, food buying and all sorts of cocktail dripped frenzies to conquer. It’s been a really busy, BUT GREAT, last couple of days. I’ve just been trying to get everything ‘Santa Perfect.’ But i’m back now and I AM BUZZING FOR CHRISTMAS DAY, I hope you are too!! It’s one of the only times that feel SO special, when you’ve been a single mum for years. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day is ACE!!  I’m like a kid. I’m SO excited!! Oh! And thank you for all the love i’ve been getting. I appreciate it. Also thank you to all the people who have been finding me out and about! It’s been wonderful meeting you! I love those sneaky, ‘Are you Chrissie Wunna..’ moments. They make me smile. I’m grateful. I have all the time in the time in the world from you…except when i’m pissed…then i’m sassy. 🙂

Anyway…I wrote half of this blog when I was still out in the woods, but my signal kept conking out, meaning that I couldn’t post my shenanigans… Life didn’t want me to! It was hilarious. I’d get SOME messages, but not all of them…then they’d all flood in at once…and my ‘social’ feeds kept pausing on an Instagram photo of Rio Ferdinand and his lovely girlfriend Kate, with a ‘cheeky night out with this one’ caption (they look so in love 🙂 )  and a Facebook ‘you can still post whilst offline’ feed of my gay friend, who was worried about his makeup… during a seizure? Lol. It wouldn’t let me scroll past these pictures….

However, here it is….My time in the woods…

Literally the most magical and enchanting piece of luxury, in all of the land. I’m currently rummaged deep in the heart of the Sherwood Pines Forest, in my luxury log cabin, blogging by my ‘open forest air’ hot tub, by a sassy pink gin and my family. It is so magical, that it is almost surreal. Words cannot even nearly describe how breathtakingly beautiful my trip to ‘do luxury’ in the forest has been. After a busy work year of championing city life….I am currently surrounded by absolute peace, bliss and tranquillity. The Forest Holidays team are treating me like a Queen. The service couldn’t be more delightful. I honestly feelt like like the luckiest kitten in the world right now.

Yet, *HOLD UP* Let’s not get it twisted. I’ve had a birthday. You all certainly know, as I pretty much posted it on every social platform that would let me.

I arrived in the Forest on Monday afternoon. Tuesday morning…I turned 37 and BOY did I celebrate it. I guess that’s what ‘Wunna Land’ is about. Making the most out of ‘good times.’ To be fair, I began celebrating on Monday (my arrival.) And from that point onward, SO much fun has occurred.

I’ve draped myself in luxury, selfied in Ann Summers bikinis (they fit so well, if you are boobied,) I’ve danced like I might *can can* for a living, I’ve sang, so there’s definitely a Grammy Award on the Horizon 😉 , i’ve spent time with family, I’ve rapped with the babies, I definitely passed out, woken up naked and randomly with a Satsuma in my hand? I’ve filled my entire body with pink ginny cocktails. I’ve glistened it thoroughly with prosecco pours. I’ve posed *nudies* in fur, *nudies* in jeans, the odd ‘nip’ has slipped out and bubbled away, in the enchanting depths and the open air of the forest, from my private forest hot tub.

It has been so much fun! I cannot even tell you. I’ve either been naked, in a towelling robe or in swimsuit the ENTIRE TIME, i’ve been here. It’s felt so liberating! I felt freeeee…..

The girls (my besties) had a birthday cake, prosecco, gifts, chocolates and all sorts sent to me by surprise. They called the retreat and found my cabin. HOW SWEET!!!

I’ve had fresh flowers sent to me by friends, fans, businesses, other holiday goers and other most thoughtful humans….almost every day. (If you’ve sent flowers to my cabin and didn’t leave a message with staff …I’ll not know who they’re from? I’ve received quite a lot of fleurs… and I thank you ever so much, as I couldn’t appreciate the kindness MORE! Honestly! You’re all so lovely!! It means a lot to me and from the bottom from my dodgy 37 year old heart.)

I’ve had fun. But do know that this forest retreat is all about finding your own kinda perfect. It’s just like life. It’s the things that you find, treasure and enjoy…It’s the carving of your own path that makes your very existence extra special to YOU.

So I’m a kitten who enjoys luxury, so i’ve loved hot tub bubbling, adventures, bouji..ing it up and prosecco sipping….I’ve ventured into the woods, simply to feel the magic that it conjures over you. I definitely refused to strut over some danger bridge (lol), yet other than that….I’ve had my breath taken away by the absolute beauty of the woods.

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You can hire bikes and race through the trails. Enjoy romantic walks. Hire out couples cabins with roaring log fires. You can dine in the woods. Hire an IN HOUSE Chef. Purchase woodland massages, have spa treatments in the comfort of your cabin, take part in activities, order champagne from your hot tub, order Room Service from your cabin and I just cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful this place is. I mean, the other night a lady escorted me through the pitch black woods, to my cabin with a torch, just so I got there safely. How sweet!

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There’s something for everyone.

IT IS AMAZING! SO MUCH MORE MAGICAL THAT YOU WOULD EVER BELIEVE!

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I’m currently on my last day. I’ve been here a week and gosh the staff here have treated my family and I SO WELL. We all came..my cousin, her boyfriend, my mum, dad, aunty, brother and the babies. We’ve had the most wonderful time!

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(And Hayley….you have been the most fantastic human during my time here. Thank you for all your help! You have been a GODSEND with Ruby & Junior. Thank you for being one of the best team members at the forest retreat, who unfortunately had the pleasure of tending/dealing with Wunna Land. I am SO GRATEFUL!)

I also wanted to say THANK YOU FOR ALL OF MY BIRTHDAY MESSAGES. I’ve read them all and tried to reply to everyone! Again. It meant so much! It’s been brilliant. Infact, right now, is SUCH A BRILLIANT time for me. I’m filled with excitement.

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I WILL tell you, that I sauntered out of the hot tub, with kitten hair everywhere, my swimsuit still wet, but with a large grey towelling robe draped over me…I Looked down at my phone, as everyone had been sending me birthday messages all day….Oh and again thank you to all of you who have following my Insta/Facebook & Snapchat stories. Yeah, they’ve been a little naughty…But i’m feeling 37, fun and all about living right now. Glad you’re loving it! 😉

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(It was actually the picture below that sent my ‘socials’ and inbox…into a frenzy. I don’t even know why? It’s like everyone forgot that i had it in me? Lol)

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BUT ANYWAY..

(I got distracted)

I saunter into my suite and look down at my phone…and there it was…a message that I had been waiting for…I’d been waiting for what felt like ages…. I’d thought about this person a great deal, they seem to mean a lot to me…because for a very long time….every time our paths have had to meander….LIFE…and that snazzy bit of emotion, has always *pushed* us back towards each other safely. Lol. This human is a GREAT HUMAN. love them! They’re ace! Yet, This ‘time we ‘meandered,’ as I like to say, I kinda just let life’s ‘river’ take it’s natural flow….because I felt more this time…When you feel more, all the guards go up don’t they! Lol…Well..at first!

I got the message….

And it was one of those messages that you thought you’d maybe get, but never got.. and therefore taught your heart to deal with the situation…..However, your heart never wants to deal with a situation, as simply as that, does it? It always wants to go with how it truly feels….

It made me beam.

And just like that…everything went back to how it should be…

I think?

However! It is NOW Christmas Eve…and I have been filled with utter excitement! I LOVE IT! And it’s not that hard to love it? I see so many people still ‘bah hum bugging’ it and to me..you’re cringe…Stop it.

Have fun! Live life. Enjoy it. I mean, to me it’s not a SERIOUS time, it’s a wonderful time. A time that gives you an excuse to celebrate with your family, or friends, or even if you chose to have a quiet gin and chill by yourself…it’s lovely! Tell the people that you love, that you LOVE THEM. Share a Bailey’s with your bestie. RELAX, if you’ve had a busy ass year. Or send blessings to those who are far less fortunate.

Infact, if you’re feeling a wee bit glummy…don’t fret…there’s a magic in the air. Good things will happen…..It’s all about believing they will and taking leaps of faith!

The other day, straight after the forest, after we had been dripped in luxury, Ruby, Junior and I went out on the streets and gave away ‘blessing bags’ to the homeless people in our area. We gave away 100 pairs of socks, gloves, scarves, treats, hygiene products…food…all sorts…but most importantly we gave other humans, who needed support… OUR TIME. And that’s the biggest thing you can give anyone…It shows respect. It shows warmth. It matters. To Wunna Land, it matters.

And yes, I didn’t do it, to score all The Samaritan brownie points on my ‘insta likes’ board. *Rolls Eyes.* We all know that i’ve had the most sexy past of ‘colour,’ that could turn all the lands ‘Holy Water’ into wine.

I did…because I wanted to and because it’s important To ME to give back. I’m really grateful for all the life that i’ve been lucky enough to have been given…I’ve taken the good with the bad and I’m a great support to anyone or anything I care about.

Merry Christmas EVERYONE! The blogs will go back to normal now!

Thank you for following my life….

All the love,

Chrissie x

(FYI/ You still have 7 days left of 2017)