Kitty Cafe, Singles & Humming Birds

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Woke up at 7 o clock this morning and Googled ‘Humming Birds,’ for no other reason than the fact that I thought they were pretty. Lol. That’s the depth of my 7am mind. I had a psychic read for me last night, then did my Breethe meditation app, so I could sleep peacefully, without random, yet jolly nightmares…

After my morning ‘Humming bird’ Google search, I then Googled Love Islanders, to see how much ‘dollar’ they were all making since leaving the villa. They’re smashing aren’t they! It makes me happy to see all folk doing well…and at the same time JEALOUS. Yet, everyone gets their time, so hopefully I’ll get mine soon. Lol (Or, I’ll just shrivel away happily and drink rum in an old people’s home..with a cat that I’ll probably name ‘Gucci.’)

I got a question the other day on my Insta, saying…

‘If you fancy a guy and blog about it, surely he would know who it is?’

Well, yeah. Obviously. I’m not shy. If I fancy someone, I don’t fear that they may know? Lol. I’m 37, not 17. So, if they were to read my blog, even though their name would be disguised as an alias, they’d obviously know if it was them, as they would’ve shared that moment, memory or story with me, at some point.

Everyone who’s an alias on this blog, KNOWS who they are. They will have lived the tale, with me…in Wunna Land. So, in a way, not only will they get to relive the memory…via this blog, yet that particular moment goes down in Cyberland history.

It’s Magical. Like Paul Daniels.

Sophie AF: ‘Your blog’s, like one of those things that will come alive and go down in history, when you die…because you will have documented your whole existence…’

Me: ‘Cheers… I’m ready to shuffle off yet, bitch.’

The ‘Singles Night’ at The Kitty Cafe, Leeds, in now booking up fast. I actually can’t wait, because I haven’t  been to a ‘Singles Night’ in ages. I’m really excited.

(The last time I did a ‘Singles Night’ was in Sheffield, years ago… on a PA, after coming off the Hilton show…I was so drunk and it was in a club…and I remember being stood on some stage, as people cheered and slutty looking dancers held me up, after dancing on podiums in pink fur. It took me an entire day to recover and no..I didn’t find true love. Hahah. Instead I died in bed at Ollie & Becky Hayes’ home…who were (at the time) radio presenters for Hallam FM. Becky was SO good at looking after me…She ran be a bath, brought me fruit and everything.)

Do know that my favourite hangover cures are either BLOODY MARY, or a SLUSH.

But back to Kitty Cafe…

Even if I don’t meet the man of my dreams that night, I can still stroke kittens…which will calm me. (Shit, I really hot guy has just sauntered into the bar at sat on the table opposite me. I’m doing the ‘pretend I haven’t seen him’ face, because my pulling technique is obviously champion.)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa

Anyway…The Kitty Cafe, sound great because it seems so city trendy, which is exactly my forte…

So, if you haven’t booked in yet, email them pronto (info@kittycafe.co.uk) and save your spot. Bookings have apparently been mental. I can’t wait to meet everyone. Sept 21st.

Promo done!! 😉 

Lucy McLockett: ‘That place is a danger zone for you Wuns. I just read in the paper, that they’re applying for a marriage license there…Don’t be in a place with single men, where the can actually MARRY YOU.’

Me: ‘Fourth time lucky! Always a bride, never a bridesmaid. At least they’ll be kittens, right? Lol’

What else?

Things are really fun and I’m having a great time with the kids. They’re literally my world…and I’m loving every inch of them. Work is a plenty. I’m still influencing many a hotel, restaurant and bar, like my glamourous little life depends on it. (And it does. Haha.)

Book me. Hire Me. Me! Me! Me!

When it comes to love, I’m still single, but concentrating on work. Everything feels so right, at present, that I don’t really need to change it. I still fancy ‘The Swirl,’ but he’s a million miles away, doing his own thing, probably not thinking about me at all. Yet, I want him to have moments where he *pauses* and thinks..

‘What the fuck happened to Wunna? I miss her.’

(If not…Lol…shit happens.)

However, the great thing is, I have a whole lot of time to just conquer a bit of Wunna Land and smash it about. I’m quite a determined little chica. I’m ambitious aren’t I. So, I don’t want to wiggle off this Earth ball one day and not have achieved all that I wanted to.

It means a lot to me…

I’m not a plodder. I’m not someone who doesn’t get juiced off achieving goals, inspiring, smashing dreams and winning! I know how to have a good time and laugh shit off. But I’m there in the moment..I’m alive……I’ve always got my eye on the prize…(even when i’m in my ‘what are those’ leopard print flip flops.) 

Don’t hate!

Take note…

When it comes to men, I don’t like the day in and day out… ‘plodders.‘ I like those that have dreams, or those who have fought hard to live their dream. I find them inspirational and that to me, (along with a whole bunch of other stuff,) is sexy.

Right, I’m done now…This blog has gone on far too long! I’ve rambled.

You can make anything happen. Believe it. Attract it. Make everything you love YOURS!

Chrissie… x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because, I can’t stop thinking about you….

Morning!!! Things are great! I’m pumped. I’m busy. I’m excited. I’m the luckiest girl in the world. After a bad news phone call, I received a good news phone call and just like that, I swizzled in a flurry of glee.

Nothing’s better than feeling excited, is it? We live for those moments, always.

The buzz.

Yet, I guess always having faith in life and your own little story, kinda keeps you going. Surround yourself with love and wonderful people, who always have your back, even when you’re at your worst. When that happens, let me assure you that you are ‘ hand walked’ up another rung of the ‘happy’ ladder.

That’s where I am right now.

A lot of great things are happening and sometimes, I have to pinch myself to actually *pause* and realize everything is real.

If i’m being honest…

I can’t stop thinking about someone. Well, I say ‘someone,’ yet it’s the guy that I always referred to as ‘The Swirl.’ I kinda later changed his name to ‘T Bone.’ Yet, just recently almost every minute, of every day, he tinkers through my mind…and it’s great because every single ‘tinker’ is filled with a really happy memory. Not one memory is hideous.

It made me smile. I beamed.

So, I’ve started to look back and remember everything now. I remember it all, like it’s still ‘alive.‘ How can it still feel alive? There’s still a big flicker in my heart.

I remember the way he looked at me. I remember the way he smiled. I remember the way he made the effort to nurture me. I remember how much we laughed out loud to all sorts, for no reason.

I remember the moments when we were just sat on his sofa, making fun of goalies whilst we watched football. I remember us taking the piss out of each other. I remember falling asleep, as we held each others hand.

‘It’s just so perfect…’

‘It’s just so easy…’

‘I’ve loved having you here..’

I remember all of our messages. I remember ALL of our messages. Lol. Even the naughty ones. 

Yet, the funny thing about it, is that i’m still very single and I’m still really calm. I don’t know what I’m feeling? However, right now, if I could have a guy to call my own…based upon how i’m feeling right now….

It would be him…

Everyone seems to pale in comparison…Everyone else seems really dramatic, instead of emotionally stable. Rude, instead of kind. Not the right kind of fun…or just….Well just…

However, of course, in Wunna Land…tales are never that easy, are they? He’s no where around. I mean, he’s a message away, yet certainly not close by.

(That never bothers me though. I’m a grown up. I believe in love. And Like I said to Sam Reece, when he was doing my hair, a couple months back….)

‘Love isn’t geography…It’s chemistry.’

And you can always FEEL A CHEMISTRY, if it’s there, even when your a zillion miles apart.

But yeah, about ‘The Swirl.‘ Something tells me, regardless as to where we’re at right now….Something just tells me…that a gust of magic wind, will blow us together and make our life paths cross more closely again.

I can just feel it..

(OR, i’m delusional? lol 😉 Who knows??)

Today i’m on rest, I’m having a chill and a family day, to actually catch up and blog, as I have a busy week of ‘Leeds’ ahead of me, for the Eat Leeds shindig. Sometimes, when you’re out and about all the time, just finding the time to have a sit down and write everything out, is impossible. But i’ve got it. I’m smashing it. I’m literally loving every single second.

Plus, I’m thoroughly grateful for all the support i’m getting and I couldn’t tell you enough. So again, no matter where you are in the world, thank you so so much for finding a moment to click into Wunna Land and follow my version of life.

Message in…

Firmonnell: ‘Are you free for drinks and food at Ego, tonight?’

I’m picking your questions at random and loving answering them all on my Insta Story. (Get following.) It’s fun, even the naughty ones.  However, everyone does keep asking me love life questions, which I don’t mind, (even all my exes, who could simply message me personally.) And right now, my MOJO is on point. It’s crazy. Regardless, to how i’m feeling about ‘The Swirl.’

Y’know, the weird thing is, that over the last year, I’ve noticed that I’ve become more and more ‘hush hush’ about the nitty gritty parts of love life, than I usually am? Even with my friends, in bars over drinks. I’ll blush (I don’t blush) and charm my way out of it with wit.

Yet, I’m a blogger and i’ve always lived my life quite publicly via this diary, this blog, for over 10 years now. So, it’s a big change, to want to keeps things quiet.

I’ve learnt a few lessons of recent and treasuring something that means so so much to me..when it happens, because I am still very single, (my love life always DOES matter to me because firstly I’m a love bunny and secondly it’s a part of my life that I never seem to be able to conquer.)

But more and more, i’m holding things tight to my chest, privately. Not because I’m guarded. I couldn’t be more open. Yet because I want it to be right. I want to find the man of my dreams. He would mean so much to me. And i’m not going to be able to find him, and nurture a relationship around gossip.

Saying that, work wise, I’m influencing a lot, i’m filming ‘Welcome to Wunna Land’ for IG. I’m about to tinker back onto your tellies very shortly…and during those times everything turns public, simply because (if i’m being honest..and anyone in the business will tell you) it’s really good PR.

You kinda have to be out there…and I DO really enjoy every inch of all the *bazinga.*

I’m built for it.

I don’t know what’s happening right now, but like i said, my ‘milkshake’ is accidentally bringing ALL the boys to the yard, right now. Dudes are coming at me, at full force from all angles, and all over the world…with everything they’ve got.

It’s such a funny thing, isn’t it? I mean, when you feel all needy and want love *hashtag* now…ain’t nobody cares to tinker and in and adore you. However, when you’re all chilled and dandy and secure with your singleness…the boys come a thundering, wrapped in charm and that good old snazzy persistence..

I do like persistent though. I also like forward GENTLEMEN. And I say GENTLEMEN, because a dick pic isn’t going to tug on my heart strings ever.

(A random German footballer tried to have a racy shot at Wunna Land, two nights ago, by coming at me, with an offer of sex. Dudes shouldn’t ever offer a girl, their body,as a treat before a ‘Hi, there.’ Lol. It’s the most unromantic thing ever…)

and I am a HOPELESS ROMANTIC.

That was first message he ever sent me and because he step with his romantic foot forward, I just pied it off politely, by pretending I was really tired.

I left him to slide into someone else’s DM’s.

What i’m always looking for is a handsome best friend, a bantery, fun, gentleman, a sexy one, who knows how to have a good time. Someone who can enjoy both the finer things in life, as well as a slummy ‘chill fest.’ A man who at the same time, as all that, is protective, loyal, romantic, knows how to look after a girl and is an utter and complete family man.

IS THAT YOU?

If so, apply within. Lol.

(Where are all the Hero’s at??)

 

Gut Instincts, Fate & Lovey Bits…

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I’m really chipper today. There’s a skip in my step and a glint in my eye. Summer is no longer getting the better of me, which is making me feel productive, kinda like i’m back in control of the shizzle. I’ve been rushing around and enjoying every inch of work. My baby boy Junior is now back from his holiday with Keiran (his Daddy)..and even though I’m a single mum & we co parent extremely well, nothing fills my kitten heart with love MORE, than having both babies together….WITH ME. Lol. All is well, all has gone back to normal. The family is thriving and yeah there’s been a cheeky drink here and there, but most of all i’ve felt alive.

Today is a good day. I’m feeling confident, like I can conquer anything!

I’ve been using the Breethe App, on an evening and meditating before bed. (I know. You’d never have guessed, but I’m quite a bit of a spiritual tinker.) I had my Tarot cards pulled for me last night and everything about my cards, put a wee smile on my face. (It kinda made me giddy, and even though i’m far from ‘living my life by them’ and I just find it fun. Plus, when you hear great things, it just makes you feel good, doesn’t it? I love happy surprises.)

In life, I’m going with my GUT instinct. Everything I do, is based upon my gut instinct. I never listen to anyone. I will always stay loyal to what I believe is right. Nothing’s more powerful, than what your soul says. Regardless, as to whether you’re a glamour puss, a builder, an adult or a child. Even when at times, you don’t feel like you have 100 percent support. All bad things pass, because life goes on. It will always go on…so you might as well embrace it. You’ll always have moments of difficulty, be it in work or love. Yet as long as you never give up…your consistency will always come out on top.

Everything you deserve is coming your way!

Right now, i’m feeling pretty whole, pretty powerful and pretty ‘goody goody.’ (Dare I say it?) I might reach for my gingham dress and start skipping around to nursery rhymes…with my ‘naughty eyes.’ 

(I just received a message from a guy, who simply responded to my ‘check in’ with ‘naughty eyes.’)

A bit of a flirt is always healthy!

But i’m working hard and not letting anything get in my way or get me down. At the end of the day, I’m really quite lucky!

Anyway…

I have a strong gut instinct about two things right now and one is about my career, the other about my love life. I won’t tell you about them, because I don’t want to jinx ether and I like to keep some things ‘shushy.’ I’m currently single. I’m very single. Yet, I’m always one to wait for the right guy. I’m not one to go on a million dates, or commit to a ‘numbers game.’ At 37, I can’t be arsed. I always know what or who I want…

When I say the right guy, it doesn’t mean that I haven’t already met him? I could’ve? Or I may not have? Yet, everything is about timing and when the time is right, I honestly believe that everything will fall into place, exactly the way it’s supposed to.

I always say, that when it comes to work and success, hard work pays off. You ‘muscle’ and charm your way to that part of your happy ending.

However, when it comes to love. The most powerful emotion in the world. Something just tells me that part of your happy ending is down to a ‘magic.’ There’s something in the air, that ‘The Gods’ already have planned for you. It’s something you can’t control..and that’s what makes it beautiful. It’s not practical. It’s spiritual.

I know, I’ll have my time and when I do, I will have learnt so many lessons in love by then, that I’ll be the happiest girl alive. 

Enough about all that though!

I managed to tinker into Ginos, Leeds the other day for a prosecco.  I do always go there and I’ll always be at the prosecco bar downstairs. It’s a place that makes me happy. I mean, whenever I totter through those revolving glass doors, i’m always greeted with hugs, warmth and love…and that’s from the moment I slowly ease through. That’s why it’s my favourite haunt in Leeds, because everyone around me, goes out of their way, just to be lovely, Italian and well mannered.

If you know me personally..you KNOW that I ADORE GOOD MANNERS.

After that I managed to beat the bustle at Leeds, train station, run out of chewing gum, miss all the right trains, post everything on my Insta story, but get home in one piece…where I surrendered to one more fruity gin, under the night stars, with friends.

The rest of the time has been work, meetings, influencing and just waiting now to get back on our telly boxes.

It’s been a long long wait.

I ended up missing ‘Bingo Bongo’ or whatever it was called with ‘Firmonnell’ because I didn’t get back from an influencing gig until much later than I thought.

I did get to see ‘Jonesez’ at the pub, who literally had the shakes and ordered a Fanta. I thought he’d be fine, because a snapchat earlier he was bouncing with children on a trampoline. But no…his bit of ‘Bingo Bongo’ certainly knocked him out.

He must’ve had a fun night, a hard night, or both? Lol. 😉 He’s one of my good guy friends. We chilled and watched the football (Leeds Vs Stoke) in the pub, as we caught up on life and he nursed himself back to health, before leaving.

Other than work, its been babies, babies, work, work…and I’m pretty much over the moon.

I don’t even have everything crossed anymore, because i’m not worried. I’m really confident, right now and because my gut is telling me ‘all is going to be okay,’ i’m leaving the rest to fate.

There’s always only so much you can do…The rest you MUST leave to magic.

I have a busy day tomorrow. I have meetings in Leeds and all kinds of jiggery pokery. I do have loads of people nagging at me, don’t we all? Yet, even though i’m polite and will listen, I think that as long as you KNOW, what YOU’RE doing and you have faith in your OWN ability, it’s certainly BEST to refrain from letting people who DO NOT KNOW, your world, TRY and take control.

Everyone’s different. Leave people to embrace their strengths and life knowledge.

Did that even makes sense? Haha..

Thank you for following my life.

Chrissie x

 

 

Boobie Pops, Adventures & Moderately Cunning Plans

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Life is to be LIVED, because you’re a LONG TIME dead and you hear people frisbee out the term ‘YOLO’ like Tequila in a Mexican brothel. Yet, after everything i’ve learnt, in my time so far, armed with my little bit of diary… I know that it is never ever the result that gives you complete happiness and that the journey and the memories you make, are the things that will actually make you BEAM….when you’re 82.

(The ‘Bush Story,‘ when I’m 82, will always be funny. It’ll always be hot, because it’ll always be alive. The ‘Cum Stain’ story in LA, which no one EVER let’s me forget..Haha…..at 82, will STILL be as tragic, yet even more hilarious.)

Don’t be afraid of adventure. Don’t be afraid to have a story. Don’t be afraid of anything.

It’s important that you embrace your story. Stop being dull. Go for the ‘adventures’ that life hands you over. The fun bits that just fill you with excitement and make your eyes smile. You may not be that lucky again and I’ll always say, that even though my life has been oddly ‘colourful.’ It took me away from Yorkshire and glittered me, all over the world.

I mean, SO MUCH has happened to me, that I only WISH you could peek into my head, or be a fly on the wall, during some of the most sketchiest moments EVER.

I’m not sure how I survived them. But  came out unscathed because I chose to be happy.

Yeah I’ve had my heart broken in numerous countries. Yet at the same time, I’ve fallen in love and laughed out loud, MORE TIMES, than any glamour puss, could ever wish for.

I’ve been really lucky, because I feel like i’ve done a lot and my soul is alive.

Be alive.

I managed to be exactly where I wanted to be, through hard work, charm, determination and my fingers crossed.

YOU ARE exactly where you’re meant to be, in life right now!

So if you’re happy? If you’re sad? If you’re tall… broken….successful…or stuck in a rut?  You’re MEANT to be there, right now. It’s for some random reason and you’ll definitely learnt why shortly. I’ve done it all before. Once all the elements of your life have been put into place….Just around the corner, I promise you, is ‘magic.’

I cannot even tell you how true that is!

I literally once had my giant leopard print luggage and an engagement ring THROWN out of a car, with me a following and a ‘Don’t come back sign‘ firmly in place…(lol) I was in my 20’s. I walked around the corner…with my luggage on wheels in tow..and a car pulled up to the curb.

I DID KNOW this person really well. He wasn’t a stranger. We were in LA. All he said was,

‘Jump in Lil’ Bit.’

It was like he knew where I was going to be, or what was going to happen? And when I did jump in…my life changed for the ABSOLUTE BETTER and FAST!! In fact was almost unbelievable.

So please do LIVE.

(Wait. My phones fucking pinging. One sec…)

Ugh. How annoying. It’s a guy I used to date DECADES ago, when I was 18, and he’s trying to tell me off for referring to him as ‘random.’ (Lol.)  Well, this is what he’s saying, because he’s now trying to re date me, which isn’t going to happen.

(It’s funny how when you’ve maybe done alright for yourself and you’ve grown up and got yourself a bit more pocket money, a little dab of tiny fame, a career that seems quite dazzling and you still look somewhat attractive…It’s funny how the exes that didn’t want to be with you, come running back as fast as they can. Yet, I guess, that’s what I like about me. The more powerful I feel, the better! Mwahahah!) 

Anyway, he’s saying this…

Guy: ‘Random! Who the fuck is RANDOM. We were together for FIVE years!’

It was ages ago. I don’t count that as a relationship because I was never in love at that point. I thought I was. I was a kid. I didn’t know what love was…I was sort of just going through the motions. Until I met the next guy, who was Mike, the actor…WHO I MARRIED. Fair enough, we’re divorced now. But, he was my first love and obviously… even now…there are times where I think about him because it was SUCH a chapter of my life. It’s when everything changed and success came. He was a guy who showed me how women should be treated….

But it was JUST a chapter…and like all good tales, the beat just goes on…

If that Chapter didn’t end….this whole ‘Chrissie Wunna’ thing would never EVER have happened. I would’ve been stuck doing the same old shit, with the same old people, with the same old life, for the same old years….

So I get it…

But a few years with the first boy and six years with Mike….(only 2 of those years were public and we WERE dating other people at the time, so we sort of kept something going, behind almost everyone’s back. Which I guess was bad. But ‘Yolo’ we couldn’t help it. So, if I added those two relationships up, it’d come to around 9 years…To me that doesn’t seem THAT LONG, when I hopefully have decades of life left to live.

So, I don’t know why the guy I dated when I was 18, in Yorkshire, is coming forward?

So much more has happened to me since then….

I was never scared to do anything, and I may have hurt people along the way or been hurt. But I’m still never afraid to enjoy anything, should I say. I have stories that will last a lifetime.

You’ve got one good shot at having the most fun, you could ever have and I hope to GOD, that you embrace that.

Right now, I’m having a REALLY different Summer, to any Summer I’ve ever had. I’ve felt really normal. I’m not sure how much I like that? Haha. But I’m having so much fun and hope the rest of 2018 delivers appropriately.

Last night was filled with laughter. It was a really great night and became with chills with Ian and Claire, by a dog named Frank.

Music came on…and it all turned wild.

I can’t even really tell you what happened, because not much did other than lots of ‘high fiving’ and good times? Why were we ‘high fiving’ so much? I hate ‘High fiving.’ Lol.

Dancing occurred. Singing at the top of voices echoed through. Drunk hugs and secret conversations littered the table.

Golfer Jonny taught me how to ‘Boobie Pop.’

WHO KNEW i COULD DO THAT!!!! I’M SO TALENTED! 🙂

Everyone stopped me to make sure I was okay? Lol. (I also appreciate all the messages I received. I cry once, blog about it and hundreds of people shimmie into my inbox with love. 🙂 Thank you, for that. You’re all kind. Much love in return.)

Then as always a PLAN was hatched.

My arm got pulled to one side for whispers.

KatyP: ‘Right…we’re going to try and make ************** happen.’

Me: ‘Really?’

KatyP: ‘Golfer Jonny is in charge of buying the next drink. You’re in charge of distracting Antony.’

(Antony’s foot, was the foot that was in my face when I woke up on Tuesday morning, after being the ‘little spoon’ to a piece of  lost gingerbread.)

Me: ‘I’m in charge of distracting you.’

Ant: ‘Well that’s not so bad for me, is it? Free drinks and you hanging out with me all night. Haha.’

He’s easily distracted and I enjoy those that just go with a plan. Things that are to hard to accomplish bore me.

Long story short, everyone (as always) got roped into the plan. Yet it all worked swimmingly, as I watched someone be lovingly *walked* out a pub, by the wrist…

‘I’m a little nervous..’

With a..

‘What? Everyone knows anyway!’

And that was the end of the night.

It was hot. I loved it. It was Girl Power at it’s finest. It was LIVING. It WAS life and more importantly didn’t involve ME, which meant it was ALL utter bliss.

I managed to STAY OUT OF TROUBLE…all the way home!! 

(Eww! But I saw Awful Ben at the pub last night, who I used to date years ago. I just hate him and we were stood at the bar at the same time, so I just did that really grown up thing that I do and IGNORED HIM. Lol)

All my chick friends: ‘I don’t know what you were thinking when you dated him!’

I guess, it’s part of the story. What a douche!

Anyway…

All i’m gonna say is that, whenever you wake up to a Whatsapp Group message that reads…

‘Team check. You all alive and okay?’

(The Group is labelled ‘Team Beer.’)

You know a ‘good time‘ has been had!

‘Pray for ****’

Right! I’m done now. It’s officially Sunday Funday!

I have two shoots, babies and influency things all week, so i’m excited!

I’m back on your telly shortly…and that’s my 2018 ‘Out of Summer’ plot twist.

Hope you have yours…

Chrissie,

Thank you for following my life. Thank you for tinkering through my ‘socials.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bush Frolics & Secret Kisses

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So, not last night but the night before, I kissed a boy, in a bush… at around midnight. 🙂 I haven’t kissed a guy in ages, so I’m not sure what i’m gonna go with, other than the fact that in that moment, I felt really ‘passionate,’ I felt really turned on and I wanted him to be mine.  Haha. (I cannot even believe, i’m writing this. ‘Firmonnell’ my chick best friend, who formed the group ‘No Boys, Just Dicks‘ the other evening, after we decided that all men were a waste of our delicious time, has found every inch of this story HILARIOUS.)

Firmonnell: ‘Wow. That sounds like a dick voice to me?’

Y’see! You can’t form a group with rules and then expect me to stick to them. I’m a rebel without a cause. Cupid likes to **** me over. The last rule, I was told to stick to, was one in LA, where my  good friend DK challenged me to be celibate for a month. I lasted under 24 hours. And yes…again….that time HE pissed himself with laughter.

(Rule breaker. Love maker. 😉 )

In fact, I got shoved into a bush twice, whilst having under the stars banter with Ginger Brad and J.D, outside The Carleton , Pontefract. I made a guy cry at a bench, as day turned to night. I nearly cried. I managed to also get pissed off and *blank* people, for hearing a ‘true story,’ that didn’t come from directly from the horses mouth. I was filled with passionate. Filled with sass. Northern Soul & Reggae Vibes, have been playing in the background and after many a toilet talk, with Katy P. (If we ever go to the toilet together, we need to discuss, gather, gossip or go mental.) We are independent chicks, that don’t wee together. If we go to the loo as ‘one’…then you should know that something is going down.

So yeah, on Sunday I felt lovely…Then I felt feisty. The afternoon before, my babies broke up from school…and I tinkered to feel some World Cup action. Pretty much felt like the only chick in a dress with boobies, immersed in a lovely drunken ‘sausage fest.’

To be fair. It was fun for the first few hours. I selfied. I giggled. I chattered with old friends, made new friends and everything in between. People were making do video calls with their mates, trying to feel me up every 2.3 seconds…and well Little Ollie tried to schedule sex for Sept 21st?

But ‘Football’s Coming Home‘ and all that. So in the name of fun and debauchery, it was alright. It was fine. I probably got hit on, every 3 steps, I took. I mean, the night was great. Will ended up dancing on tables. Little Sam Moore showed up and did his usual ‘Lady Boy’ pic. Then someone tried to set my nipple on on fire, so I *tapped* out and after stating…

‘I just need a wee..’

I legged it out the front entrance and went home.  I was done. It was tiring. It was sort of like being booked on an appearance…but without the jollies of a paycheck. Lol. Yet, i’m not bothered. It’s funny and well it certainly doesn’t do my ‘socials’ any harm.

THEN I got a shitty whatsapp message from someone who should absolutely be a great deal more understanding. 

Sunday was drama and when I pick boys, friends and everything in between….I need to always make sure, that all is at peace, well and stable. Meaning, I am a NO DRAMA ZONE. So, on Sunday I felt lots of things needed saying…so being me…

I SAID THEM…OUT LOUD.

(I might have even hair tossed a little… in anger. I just don’t like to hear things that I should know first, from other people.) 

Ended up kissing in a bush though didn’t I! I had bush foreplay. And to make it even worse…You’d think bushes were great hidey places, right? But no, not at all…because of course, a mutual friend walked by and saw everything.

‘Don’t worry! I haven’t seen anything! Haha.’

(The next day.) 

Katy P: ‘OMG! I’ve just heard. What was it like?’

Hahaha.

It was fun. I’d definitely do it again. 🙂 I mean, gosh, you only live once, so you might as well make your story worthwhile. Well, that’s how i’ve accidentally made an entire living.

Everything just seems to have whizzed by…?

A few days ago, I was sat with Sheffield Greg, who was acting out the Yorkshire Version of ‘Ex On The Beach.’

Sheffield Greg: ‘I’d just sit there, with my 20 empty tins of lager around me and a pile of bricks.’

Lol. He said, he’d be sat on a deck chair, in his swimmers, with a 20 pack of Carling and a pile of bricks by his side. As his exes came of of the sea, he’d just lob bricks at them and tell them to *SWEAR HERE* and get back in the sea!

Hahahahaha.

The Yorkshire Version is so much more fun and BY FAR less ‘pansy.’

Then I did drinks with Ashleigh and Antony. Ashleigh introduced herself to Golfer Jonny, as a ‘raging homosexual,’ and Antony…Well let’s say Antony enjoyed my ‘HOSE DOWN’ post. He even gained me a leg stroke…and a ‘You’re Beautiful.’ (All leg strokes appreciated, now that i’m an oldie.) Unfortunately, I was waving at some other guy, mid leg stroke….which was hilarious.

‘Haha. How awful is that! I’m accidentally waving at some dude, as you’re leg stroking! Lol.’

We both just pissed ourselves.

The other day, I remember sending Firmonnell voice notes, because I knew if she heard my voice, she’d love me..and she did! I miss her madly. I can’t wait to see her again over booze. She’s just my perfect human. She’s irrepressible and nothing I do disturbs her. She adores me anyway! AND has no problem telling me!

Love you!!!!!!!

Katy P and Golfer Jonny, have pretty much spent the entire time being smitten. They’ve galloped ahead leaps and bounds and it’s just really great to see them both so happy.

I’ve been having a flirty old time. Yet..ofcourse and as always, there’s an ‘issue’ with my ‘flirty old time.’

WHY IS THERE ALWAYS AN ISSUE!?!

There’s been sudden smooches on patios, heated moments, smooches outside, leg feels, hand holds, little bits of all sorts….A good build up really, to a frolic in a bush.

I’ve kinda joked this off a bit, in the ‘write up,’ of it all because that’s what I do. Yet, it hasn’t really felt too jokey. It’s felt pretty real.

But, I’m just watching and waiting to see what occurs. Obviously, we’ve talked a lot about it. Obviously, everyone has there own version of events. Obviously, there have been faces of astonishment. Yet, I’ll see. When stuff occurs, I’ll either move appropriately or not at all. 

Anyway, i’m off now. I’ve been at Ackworth Garden Centre, doing Brunch with the babies all morning, teaching them how to Influence. Lol. All they kept doing was trying to kiss each other. 🙂

But, hey, at least they weren’t in a bush.

‘I’m devastated by how unglamourous this all sounds…’

‘Does sound mad sketchy. Haha.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Get a Bit Inspirational….& Pervy :)

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I’ve just got out of an audition, so I’m all pumped and juiced. I love auditioning. I find it really fun. When I was a kid in LA, I used to be terrified, when it came to ‘audition’ day. Yet, after only a few weeks, my friends and I found that we were on around 4 auditions a day, all over LA, for all different shows. I remember, I had The OC, ER, Charmed & A Glamour Magazine, in one day. My other friend had Will & Grace, What I like about you, The OC & CSI. And we’d be dashing through Hollywood, with our ‘sides’ (that’s what you call your audition script) making sure we were prepared and not late. I didn’t really have time to be nervous anymore. Nerves were a waste of time. I had one shot. One read. That read could end up booking me that job. It could change your life. And it did.

I’m back in the UK though now. Have been for years and I’m loving it. The last audition I went on. I booked it. That will air shortly. I did one this morning and loved it, so we’ll see how that goes.

You’ve godda give it you’re all. And I never care what anyone thinks. I’ll go for it.

I mean what’s the point in moaning about getting work, staying in work or whatever else it is you can muster, if you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.

Anything can happen at anytime. More people need to believe that.

If you don’t think so ,you’ve lost FAITH IN YOURSELF. and you shouldn’t because you’re beautiful. No one can do YOUR VERSION of life better than you. I say it all the time. Don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else is up too. Concentrate on your life, your game, your passion, your strut and go back and get everything that they said you couldn’t have!

I was so excited to perv on Love Island, Adam last night, that my excitement got the better of me, I ran out of excited energy and fell asleep after an exciting garden wine. I’m so shit at being a perv. I mean , If I can’t even do that, then Lord Help my rotten soul. Being a perv is such a brilliant ‘old school’ past time. It’s easy.

Couldn’t do it for toffee though could I!

I’m actually loving Dr.Alex now on Love Island, because I’m feeling really bad for him. I hate that people keep treating hi shitty. But i’m sure the magical world of TV has something up their delicious, no scripted lol, sleeve.

WHOOOPPPPEE!

Whatelse? Oh yeah, some maungy girl, sent me an evil message today and insulted my boobies. Don’t bother. Be smarter. Pick anything but the boobies, because they’re obviously such a ‘Chrissie Wunna‘ strength. A weapon. They’re lethal, with googly eyes on. They drink shots and hypnotize folk. Do your boobs do that? No. Exactly.

So, be smart enough to say I have shit feet or something. It would’ve made me cry, into my prosecco, for a good half a second.

YAWN!

I’m at a wedding on Saturday, so I’m really excited for that. Definitely don’t have a dress. Definitely going to end up leaving it to the last minute. But I fancy wearing lemon. Not A LEMON…as that would just be awkward.

‘Chrissie, why have you come as a piece of fucking fruit?’

In Summer, lemon is my favourite colour. I also like boys who can totally rock pink. But do it so well, that it makes all the girls dribble.

I hope my audition went well? I need something to eat now.

My friend ‘Trigg‘ sent me a message yesterday, apologizing for working so much etc etc…People don’t need to say sorry for doing life or their choices. But when you’re a grown up and working so much, you’re loaded with stress by the buckets on occasion and it’s hard to make time for people isn’t it?

I totally get that. I have the same problem. And our lives are manic. We’ll get around to a catch up.

Yet for those of you, who maybe don’t run busy lives or careers, DO KNOW to ALWAYS remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

We as girls, and guys (at times,)we always make excuses for people, don’t we? But only when it comes to love. You’re love life is such a big thing isn’t it? It’s important. It motivates you. It makes you feel alive. But like i said in my last blog, I’m happy being single, yet i’m open to finding love. I’m just NOT BOTHERED about ‘coupling up’ with someone, who isn’t my going to be hero, my best friend or potential life partner/buddy/chum chum…whatever else you can bung in there.

I’m not arsed about the game of love. I want a man who’s not scared to chase love, show love, be loved. I like a man who knows how to get what he wants. It’s sexy. I want all boxes ‘ticked.’ And we all deserve that.

I mean, when you’re older. You know what you want. When you’re younger. You make excuses for all sorts and don’t really know as much as you think you do.

Well that was ME, anyway. It might not be you? But probably.

Right i’m off. I need to find a dress….

 

Stress, Love, Boys & Dickheads

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Oh my GOD! I’ve been having the most stressful time. Lol. It’s been hideous. I kinda just want to hide under my duvet for months, until life turns ace again! Right now, i’m on ‘rest’ and I’m never going on ‘rest’ again. I’d rather burn the candle at both ends, than be anything near, this jolly term of EVIL, that my superiors have labelled ‘rest.’ It literally only gets me into trouble. I swear on my life, it’s been crackers. I don’t do crackers. Well…unless their prawn. 😉

Resting should never be done and only fine when placed in front of the words ‘bitch face.’

The good thing however, is that Junior’s had a birthday. My Baby son, who (alongside Ruby) is my world, has officially turned FIVE. I love him so dearly, that i oculd fill up, right now,  even telling ya. Unfortunately, (as there’s always got to be a party pooper,) his father (who’s a previous ‘party boy,’ now turned Jehovah’s Witness,) and I, do NOT see the world through the same EYES. Let’s just say, I’m in Dior sunnies and he’s….. obviously BLIND. 🙂 But we co parent Junior. We share a son.

Basically, I wanted to make sure my son celebrated the day he was born, as LIFE in general, is SO deliciously important, in my mind and well Keiran, (his Papa)…is utterly against such apparent ‘Tom Foolery’ (due to God and stuff) and informed Junior that if he did not chose to work for ‘Jehovah,’ when he grows up… when he DIES,  he will not go to paradise?

EH?? He’s FIVE. What’s Paradise? Issho on a Sunday? That’s bonkers. Let us pray for YOU, Daddio.

Anyway, I won..and we flipping celebrated my baby son’s birthday for FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT.

Wunna:1

Jehovah: 0

I’m certainly exhausted, but whatever, it was worth every PIECE of glitter ball energy. No one loves a shindig more than my boy.

Now, when I co parent, I don’t always know what’s best for my son? We as parents always just do the best we can, with what we know, right? But I know what really ISN’T right and I know what doesn’t sit well with me. And I will say, that the great thing about Keiran and I, is that we both love our son, madly. However, the MAJOR difference between us, is that I prefer to ask & listen to Junior’s needs and go with what he tells me he loves….instead of telling him what he HAS to do, or force a religion upon him and basically because i’m not….. *swear here* deluded.

Rant over. Back to fairytales.

It’s just hard because I’m so glad that I’m no longer with Keiran or married to him anymore. It’s been years and it’s been so wonderful being free. And he’d say the same. Yet my son, who I love more than life itself….has to hang out with him…. twice a week and recite the Bible. Surely that confuses his soul?

*Rolls Eyes.*

Anyway…moving on….No… shit does not… end there…

Like it couldn’t get any worse… life wanted to pull the rug from right under me AGAIN…

Cheers! Wahey!

..and one merry thing, after another merry thing, all decided to lose its mind and venture it’s way ‘tits‘ up. FRIDAY, was literally the worst day ever. Lol. I got so stressed, I could’ve exploded. But hey, exploding is better than imploding.  The cat ran away (and i’m not surprised. Haha. I can’t find Rocco anywhere, and each one of us is devastated.) I was then embarrassed and shouted at in the middle of Ego’s garden area, by a dude who called me a ‘Bad Mum.’

Jenna: ‘As if you were embarrassed. You’re never embarrassed. i should video this..’

Infact,  this is what he said…

‘Right, i’m gonna be honest with you….EVERYBODY LISTEN….I’ve been off my face on cocaine for the last three days and I could kidnap your *points at me*  kids if I wanted to.’

LOVELY!

Then he loses the plot on me….and after a wee ‘DOO DAA,’ (and I’m labelling that lightly…)

..It all kinda went wrong for him….I think? I mean, the beautiful staff at Ego, sorted his sorry arse out…and saved my delicious honour.

Kim (Ego): ‘He’s been asked to leave…’

I literally had to turn around to Ruby, who said,

‘Mum, he told me he knew you, he said he was your friend because he knows you off Instagram.’

‘No Ruby. If someone knows me off Instagram. They aren’t always my real friend. He doesn’t know me at all… What did he ask you?’

‘My name. Where I live? What school I go to? How old I was? He said I looked just like you…’

‘Please, pleeeease, don’t talk to a stranger ever again. Sometimes, it’s not safe.’

And in that moment, I kinda realised that everything was changing…and for the first time ever, I had to teach my daughter to distrust, because of my career choice. This IS a NEW chapter and that moment with the crazy dude, AT FIRST.. made me never want to go out again, or have to talk to ‘strangers’ that I didn’t know, during my free time. Like it wasn’t or isn’t worth the drama.

Then my friends gathered around me and stood by with utter support...(I have wonderful friends,  family and support. I’m so lucky, it’s unbelievable.)

And just like that….I slept on it and once again, I felt moderately mighty. Don’t call someone a bad parent, when  you’re a ‘self confessed’ druggie father. It’s not how it works. Don’t think you know everything about me, when you’ve only seen a handful of pictures on Instagram. Don’t embarrass me in front of everyone, simply because it makes you feel less weak.

Don’t do it in front or around my children….EVER. I try to keep them balanced and away from panic. You didn’t have my permission to invade our personal time or space. Don’t show up to a party that you’re not invited to.

Common etiquette.

On Friday, I either wanted to get back to work, or to jet off on a sunny holiday. (Code for: A glamourous way of burying my head in the sand.)

It kinda made me feel more exhausted and a little weary of people and that’s not a good combo of fun, is it? I hate that. I’m a positive soul and that’s all wrong. I want to protect what’s mine and have no one mess with that ever. I only want to be around those who know me truly and nowhere near those, who really don’t. I’m tired of being judged. But accept that I always will be.

And yeah  this may sound really grumbly, but I’m actually super okay about it all now. I just needed to vent it out loudly. So, from the bottom of my Pina Colada heart, I thank you ALL for listening. ..

Being ‘on rest’ has tired me out more than anything. Lol. I’m stressed out, because of it. But, I’ll shush, cos it’s only temporary. But GOD! How many shitty things can happen to someone in 24 hours. It’s been shocking. Being at work, keeps you focused.

Keeps you out of trouble.

Today’s a new day and I just need a moment to ACTUALLY relax. Actually chill. I could nap all day. But I won’t, will I? Instead i’ll galavant.

Infact, I went for a couple of drinks last night to destress and I loved it. It helped so much. KatyP is now back from her forest cabin trip. Thank God. Before she left, she began a saucy rumour about a DUTY FREE SIZED TOBERLONE... and my vagina. (Hahah.) We laughed so much, we cried…then she f***** off to Norfolk. (I don’t even know if that’s where she went? Lol)

Claire: ‘I’m glad you get what a Mars Bar party is Chrissie…Anyway, I heard about you and Duty Free Toberlone. Haha’

Me: ‘Haha. That honestly, never happened…It’s Kate’s fault. I’m gonna start a rumour about HER, for when she comes back.’

Last night was fun because I was surrounded by friends….Julie, Scotty, Claire, Ian, Golfer Jonny, His mate Barney, KatyP.. and a whole lot of faces that I kinda knew anyway, were scattered throughout the bar. It got me back to normal and I needed that. I really needed that. I’ve just been knackered.

I’m excited to go again and get back to work. I’m only on ‘rest’ because when you have a job that entails continuous drinking, partying, late nights, early mornings, and travelling, you run your body down quite quickly. But you also run yourself out mentally…Yet, your mind needs to be sound, because you have to write it all out and influence every little bit, as you go along.

The thing that I hadn’t been doing is eating well. I shouldn’t say this, but I’ll tell you the truth… I haven’t sat down and had a full proper meal, in weeks. Everything’s been a snack here, a ‘graze’ there…a nibble…or nothing at all, and my system has been flooded with work, cocktails, fun and life.

I’m really close to my family and  both my parents are doctors…So, whenever I do a big work stint…we all check in, with my agent and make sure i’m healthy, replenished and dandy, before I shimmie off again. It’s like being a sportmans, but when your sport is LIFE.

It’s nothing like being a sportsman! Haha. It’s way less sweaty.

Anyway, everyone keeps asking me about my love life? I haven’t talked about it for a while, because it’s ‘dead air.’ Lol. No one fancies me. No one’s talking to me. Lol. Everyone’s ‘pieing‘ me off. 😉 Nothing exciting is happening, at all.

Yesterday, I was all ‘love needy.’ Today, I’ve grown up…and I can’t be arsed with the drama of a potential relationship. I’m happy. I’m really happy and it’s gonna take a really great MAN, to walk in, step up and share a life with me….as under no circumstances ever, will I give up my own happiness, JUST TO ‘couple up,’ if he’s not my soul mate.

 I know what I want and I’m refusing to sell myself short.

Plus, when it comes to love, even though, I write my life out for the world to read….this isn’t ‘SHOW,’ where I NEED to fall in love for ratings…It ain’t  ‘Love Island,’ this is REAL LIFE, where grown ups reside, feel and live. It’s not ‘story boarded’ or perfectly produced….it’s written per stiletto step, as I go along….

I never know what’s going to happen to me…I only know that no matter what, in the end it will be wonderful.

Chrisse x

ps/ Do not settle for something your soul does not deserve.

 

 

 

 

 

Guys, Messages & What I Want….

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I shocked myself up this morning! Checked my time on my phone. Saw it was 9am. Then proceeded to topless panic for approximately 1.3 seconds. I’d completely forgotten that I had already BEEN up since 4.30am, influenced things for the US, done a school run and once back home, I kinda must’ve taken a nap. One of those naps that you don’t know you’ve taken, but are such a delicious treat. Until you SHOCK yourself up in utter *PANIC,* think you haven’t done ANY of the above…and then can’t find ya bra.

Maybe, I needed to start Thursday again, so ‘The Gods‘ gave me a second shot…luckily ‘at life’ and not ‘of tequila.’

Hang on…I’m sat at Table 70 of The Broken Bridge and some weird man is shouting things in my ear about ‘Togo the cat’ and ‘Sunset Blvd?’ Eh? I hate it when people do that. Yet, the good thing is that I can actually type this whilst he’s talking….and he has no clue. He’s now walking off…

 *Fuck He’s Back. How rude. I even LOOK really busy!*

Talking about rude. I got into a fight with one of my guy friends, last night. Sayingfriend, he used to be the long term partner of one of my chick friends, who was my bridesmaid, the last time I had managed to get myself wed, before a lovely heart breaking divorce.

*Yippppeeee….*

Anyway, since his break up, years ago…he decided to always try to get into my pants. Which I find gross. Not really out of ‘trying‘….people are entitled to chase anyone they think might fancy them back. Yet, because it was so inappropriate. One, I don’t fancy him. Two…i’m loyal as hell. You could be Channing Tatum doing his strippy dance (and he’s not) …But  i’d still ‘shun’ the opportunity, simply out of ‘good friendship’ and loyalty. 

[FYI/ That Dudes just got thrown out for bothering me, whilst i’m working. Lol]

Anyway, he’s pestered me quite a bit, to no response and last night I got sick of it and I basically got sick of it, because I specifically stated how he ‘wasn’t for me’ and that I he needed to stop messaging me, because I was busy…and I was REALLY busy at the time.

But I said it like this…

‘Honesty, you’re being annoying. Stop fucking messaging. Learn some manners and respect for other people.’

So, what he did was message me continuously, almost every single minute….whilst I was opening his message and then ignoring him. Followed by sending my half naked pictures of MYSELF, that he found on any form of social media. (I have no clue why? Remember this is my friends EX, they’ve lived together, they share a child and she was once my flipping bridesmaid.)

So I properly *BOLLOCKED HIM* because if you know me personally, you’ll know that I hate BAD MANNERS. I really hate rude people. Those who aren’t able to find it in themselves to be respectful, especially when it’s been requested…to me are disgraceful.

IF I FANCY YOU, YOU WILL KNOW, BECAUSE I WILL TANGO WITH YOU PLAYFULLY, SEDUCTIVELY FLIRT, IF THE MOMENT BECAME APPARENT OR AT LEAST SHOW SOME INTEREST. You will literally NEVER be ignored.

Then he got in a *huff* and sent me a ‘Middle finger’ emoji (lol) and blocked me on whatever bit of social he fancied scrolling down.

HAHAHA.

But this is what I think is weird, because if I fancy a guy, he’ll ‘play it cool’ with me, he’ll chase at first, but then stop…like he’s waiting to for me to step forward. I will. But I’m traditional in that sense, I like THEM to make a confident step forward, because I never want to date a guy who’s too terrified to do that. I have no problem making a first move…Yet, i don’t want a guy that can’t feel a sense of ‘Yeah,‘ when it comes to getting what he wants.

It’s sexy. Men should know what they want.

However, all the guys that you don’t fancy, properly, ‘heart on sleeve‘ go for it, don’t they? And I absolutely admire them for it. Yet, if you don’t fancy them….there’s nothing they can do, to make you adore them, is there?

If I don’t have an initial or strong physical attraction to a guy..a chemistry… then it doesn’t matter to me, how ‘nice’ he is, it will always be a NO GO.

I mean for example…a couple weeks ago…I was in Sheffield at Creator Hair. Sam had curled me a do and afterwards, I went for drinks before getting the train home.

Loads of guys had come up to me. Loads had been fun. Some a bit serious. Some a bit strange. One was normal, but I just didn’t fancy him, as I’d be far too much girl for him to take on, let’s say. I’d ruin that boy.

Anyway, he sends me a message, after he read my blog and it said this… (FYI. I know you might be reading this and I’m ever so sorry. You’re a lovely human. But….Well….I know what I want… But i’d absolutely be your friend, as you were so smart and so lovely to me…until you got pissed and horny. Hahaha…)

Guy: ‘So, I’ll level with you, I really enjoyed our chat last week, it was nice to talk to someone with a better understanding of themselves and the world around them…I apologise if I came off as a bit lecherous, stress does that to me sometimes and I can thoroughly understand it being off putting. I’d love a chance to rectify that impression, so if you’re up for grabbing a drink or maybe dinner, when i’m finished with uni, i’m game. If not…it was very pleasant meeting you and I wish you all the best in your search for Mr. Right.’ 

I ignored the message, which is bad manners on my part, but I live in a different world, where we can’t really reply to every human that ‘likes’ a sexy pic or tells us that they ‘love‘ us, because we appreciate the love and support, yet let’s be real…it’s our job…and a way of building attention, more than it is about ‘finding love.’ Lol.

But..whatever, back in the real world….. he resent, this..

‘Will take that as an uninformative no…lol’

The thing is…I have a one track mind and I had already been messaging someone, ‘back & forth‘ who’ll I’ll rename at a later date, if I wish and talk about….But during those moments…it’s much harder to get a look in, right?

Yet what I’m saying is….I believe in love and i’m someone who believes in love at first sight. You’ll know when you’ve found her, because you’ll feel it resonate through your body, soul, mind…and ‘other bits’ 😉 You’ll crave them, but you won’t know what to do?

For a moment you’ll lose yourself, but then if you’re fated to be with one another…something will happen where you find yourself picking up that phone, sending that message and letting your paths cross once more, yet this time from the heart…and it won’t only be lead by your libido anymore.

Do I want someone right now?

Yes…

Will I get him…?

I’ll leave that to him….

 

 

 

 

 

Blogging, Firmonnell & I’m in the MOOD for a Date

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Morning, my little pieces of ‘love festival.’ I’m feeling great today. There’s a beam around my soul, a tingle down my spine…a glint in my wink…and a sizzle of excitement in the air. I never know what life has in store for me? Who does? Yet, I just know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

(Even though I spent part of yesterday dressed as a Mermaid and that was somewhat alarming on all levels. Yet, a girl’s godda eat…so if work says ‘today you’re mermaid, start pouting for pics,‘ i’m there. I mean, it could be worse, I could be locked in a cellar, with zero chances of  prosecco and without the ability to selfie. Oh & just so you know, the picture above was taken by Insta: @AaronPix.Celebs & I’m pictured with Simone Reed, who has a new boyfriend, who’s apparently friends, with my friends.)

*Ramble Over.*

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So, what are you up to today? Owt or Nowt?

I’m going through quite a busy time right now, (where everyone wants a piece of me,) but like I said, it’s an exciting time, filled with opportunity, so i’m enjoying it. It actually feels like a really lucky time for me, so we’ll see what arises from the glitter pool. I’ll just keep everything crossed in the meantime and try and stay out of trouble. I’m so sorry to all the friends that I’ve had to cancel plans with for work. But honestly, it’s truly quite busy…I’ll come drink with you, always when i’m free.

*Always remind me.*

Who knew that writing a little life blog, could actually place you on some kind of ‘tippy tappy’ pedestal? I’m kinda in shock, but so utterly grateful. Never get that twisted!

I mean, who knew that, when I started typing out my life in LA, almost 10 years ago and simply because ‘D.K’ a middle aged barista (who kept a diary of everything he ate, because he had an eating disorder) told me to…Who knew that masses of people globally, literally on every continent of the world, were soon to be tuning into my life, as I ‘diaried’ along.

It’s nuts.

But what I love about the blog, is that it’s something that people just ‘discover’ out of nowhere, whilst they’re tinkering through their OWN existence. During that time they accidentally cross paths with MY existence…and ‘just like that’ they find THEMSELVES in this story.

It’s magic.

But I must’ve met a lot of people, because i’ll tell you, I’m bloody knackered.

I have an audition this morning, then I might head over to Gino’s Leeds for a quick prosecco to chill. You all know how much I adore that place. It’s certainly my hideaway and they never fail to treat me like  Queen. (Which I adore. Lol)

Remember last year, I got to speak to Gino and got to watch him work, as I became part of the madness during his stage show and launches…I had such a great time. I always go to the Leeds spot, yet when I did Harrogate, I cocktailed and played table football with, Adam Clayton. I don’t know who he plays football for, but he had his girlfriend’s Chanel bag dangling from his neck, who was also playing table footy with us.

There’s just a great spirit in that restaurant…I do drinks there all the time…and in the Summer, you should too! It’s a fun lunch spot.

Anyway, tomorrow, I’m at ‘Creator Hair’ in Sheffield. This time last week..(as if it’s been a week,) I bumped into Sam & Zara at the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event…You all know who Sam Reece is anyway and I love Zara, because she’s sassy and fun. No one does a better ‘resting bitch face.’ I love her for it.

Long story short…and after a few Whatsapp messages…I’m booked in at Creator Hair, (creatorhair.com) tomorrow at noon and Sam is gonna give me a ‘blow.’ 🙂

I just love saying *blow*

I don’t even know what’s gonna happen to my hair, (Hahaha) I just want to see them all again!! I’m excited. It should be fun. I’ll be blogging about my bouji bit of time there and I’ll try and get some really great pictures for ya’ll to see.

I had this mad phone call with my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell’ last night.

(Snapchat Msg)

Me: ‘Omg. When you’re free tonight, fucking call me. I’m stressed. All this shit has happened…and I don’t know what to do!’

It’s hilarious, because when we have a problem, one of us’ll send the other an ’emergency text’….and you can FEEL the ’emergency‘ in the message. We don’t do pleasantries. We just get tot he point.

By nature, we’re both sassy. We’re not lame…So it’s not like we’re all ‘come over to mine, drink tea, do a face mask and we’ll plait each others hair.’ 

It’s more like ‘fuck this, get gin, come now and sort my life out.

Then we’ll have a big verbal *THRASH OUT* where I’ll usually witter on about shit my love life always is, and she’ll solve all my problems, kinda like she’s Oprah, but drunk…

Once solved, she’ll then deliver her mountains of problems.

I never solve her problems. Lol. I’m too selfish. 🙂 Plus, I’m really shit at giving advice. Hahaha! She’s not someone that needs help. She likes tough love. And i’m good at that! 🙂

Witter. Witter. Banter. Banter. Moments where we *pause* to appreciate how wonderful are, in comparison to everyone else is. Lol.  I go bananas! Then we start accusing people of being ‘DULL’

‘Why are they the DULLEST PERSON IN ALL THE LAND. They definitely have shit sex. They’re SO DULL.’

Once that’s been said….

… it always ends with..

‘Well it’s their loss not mine. So I win!’

(Lol. Yesterday’s *Thrash out* was all about the art of ‘WINNING,’ when it’s mixed with this dodgy thing called ‘feelings.’)

Then it’s like we both just hang up on each other, like we don’t care.. Hahaha. Until the next time, my sweet!

I love ‘Firmonnell’ because I can be absolutely, truly 100 percent honest with her. I tell her EVERYTHING. And I never tell people anything! It’s like there’s nothing I can do WRONG, in her eyes…Even when I’ve really sinned and vice versa, there’s nothing SHE CAN EVER DO wrong…without me finding it funny. 🙂

Why can’t I just find a guy like that?

I’m in the mood for a date….Why is no one taking me on a date?

It’s sunny for crying out loud!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls Are Mental & I’m Feeling Frisky

If I wake up with a cat on my head again, i’m going to be fuming. I’m a glamour puss. I need to wake up calmly….not with something eating… *wink, wink, nudge, pout*……..my head. 😉 Any other form of ‘eating,‘  of course.. with my consent….is fine.

And do know, that i’m not being intentionally meaning to be smutty….I firstly, really do have a pet kitten named ‘Rocco’ who ate my head this morning…and secondly…right now, I feel like i’m on heat! Haha. I’m a proper ‘old aged’ horn ball.

I don’t know what’s wrong? (What’s right!!! 🙂 ) What’s wrong, with me? Maybe i’m wearing too many faux furs, or eating too much protein? Who knows? But my libido button, has certainly been switched to….’WORKING.’ (And i’m naturally excited by sensuality anyway…so you can IMAGINE how i’m feeling right now.)

*Takes the faux fur off. Puts down the chicken drummer.*

HOSE ME DOWN.

Oh and here’s a quick memo for ya….The above paragraph doesn’t mean you all have toslide into my DM’s’ immediately…At least give it an hour. Lol. I might have calmed down by then….

I’m joking. I really am. I might not be a Virgin Princess, yet just because i’m heated doesn’t mean i’m gonna come running, across fields, with my ‘frillies‘ down by my ankles. (Across fields?? Who do I think I am? It sounds so ‘Sound of Music’…if it was a porn?)Even though everything in Wunna land is done with a wild panache. Do know, that I’m the utter Queen of Self Control. I’m good stock, me 🙂

Mwahahaha!

So, it’s maybe five o clock in the morning, I’m in some satin dressing gown, getting my face done, getting ready to shoot and I look down at my phone and I see 44 Whatsapp notifications. 

When I see this, i know it’s from a group chat, something dramatic and 100 percent from the girls. Boys aren’t like that. (Apart from that one time in LA, a million years ago when Corey called me 22 times in a row for kicks. He even sang on one of the voicemails….Voicemail 22 was simply…’This is call 22, Wunna. Let me in.) I actually kinda liked it. I found it funny. He owns a huge Real Estate company in LA now…So I won’t gobble on about it anymore… in case it gets him into corporate trouble. As that would be shit.

Anyway, so I figured the ‘drama’ couldn’t be too dramatic because I only saw two of them for a wine lunch on Friday?

I was wrong.

My chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ left her boyfriend, packed a suitcase and is now officially single. (She’s headed to stay at her other chick bestie’s home and has packed a suitcase, containing ALL her life necessities…. which only consists of bikinis and Himalayan Salt Lol… )

I love her for that. I mean, even though it’s probably a really difficult time. The wonderful thing about it all, is that she took a chance and committed to a ‘new chapter.’ She wasn’t scared to find her own piece of happiness…She wasn’t scared to live… and I respect that.

Always go with your gut instinct, Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

I mean I go on about life all the time and how important it is to fully LIVE IT, enjoy it and take those chances…and people sometimes put fear in your soul, to stop you from finding your own piece of ‘happy.’ They’re own insecurity makes them do that to you.

Don’t be part of a couple that doesn’t fit. If it doesn’t make you smile. If you can’t feel the *spark*… It’s just not worth it…for either party.

Always go with your gut instinct. Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

To be honest, I don’t actually know what’s going on with the girls right now? I love them madly. But I don’t get to see them so much anymore, because I’ve been SO busy with work. Entertainments got a good *grip* of me right now…and i’m working really hard, things are going great…

Mel: ‘Chrissie? If she’s still alive…Where are you?’

We did have lunch on Friday. (They all seem to be breaking up with their boyfriends for Summer Lol. They’ve labelled it ‘Divorce Club.’)

Here’s snippets:

Me: ‘Honestly, you need to stop. You’re making yourself look crazy. Don’t send him a crazy message, get no reply and then justify the crazy message with an *i’m not crazy, honest* message. Hahaha. JUST STOP TEXTING!!! STOP! TEXTING…NOW!’

‘She’s right, just vent on me instead. Tell ME instead.’

Me: ‘Yeah. I vent on her all the time…It works, then you never send that crazy message! You’ve relieved yourself of the stress.’

‘Remember when you went mental over that golfer!’

‘Was she even hot?’

‘It wasn’t about hottness.. Lol.’

‘And if you’re going to send a crazy message…commit to it. Don’t justify it.’

Me: ‘STOP TEXTING.’

‘I just don’t want him to think i’m creepy. I’m not creepy.’

‘But don’t text him *i’m not creepy* Haha.’

‘Well, yeah, because it obviously makes me sound creepy. But I’ve done it now though.’

Bottom line, girls can’t help it. Whether they’re stalking your ex, pining for your attention…creating fake Facebook profiles…Whatever it is….It can’t be helped. It’s hormones…I think?

I mean, we can’t find a hair bobble, when it’s around our flipping wrist…but we know what you did in 2011, with your Dad in Paris. Lol.

And before you all start…I’m not part of the ‘social stalk club. And the reason why I’m not is firstly because people do it to me ALL OF THE TIME…and CREATE ALL OF THE WRONG JUDGMENTS, before they even know me.

I guy once sat next to me in a bar, a few months ago… when I was with my friends…(he was trying to make me go for a drink with him,) but Googled me, whilst I was STILL SAT THERE and went through my whole entire bits of ‘news,’ out loud, with me…in the weirdest sort of fashion? Didn’t try to get to know me at all? Just read out my life to me…in a CV like fashion.

Now, I don’t mind people looking people up. I do it, ALL the time. We ALL do it, when we meet someone new. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s handy, innit. 😉

BUT I’m polite, so I do it behind your back, 🙂 which makes it okay.

Hahaha. Plus, I was sat right there. He didn’t think to just talk to me, or chat to me, or ask me questions? I liked the attention, but didn’t like the guy. Bad form. Make convo. I mean, men are men, they should know how to win over a girl. It’s human nature.

The second reason why I don’t ‘social stalk’ is because I like to live with my ‘rosie tinted’ specs on, thinking all is okay, fine and dandy. I play the ‘ignorance is bliss‘ game. I don’t look for trouble. Meaning, I won’t ever find it. I’m therefore *blind* to it. Blind and happy, as can be. I don’t wanna know. I also don’t like the sound of a breaking heart. I like an easy life. No stress. Just ‘good times.’

But yeah, chicks are mental. It’s not like you didn’t know that anyway.

I did have a laugh with the girls though, even if they asked me where I sloped off to sometime last month, when we all went to Nat’s birthday…

Me: ‘ Oh, I felt tired…so I said I was looking for you, but just walked out the door and left. Hahaha.’

Hahaha. I ALWAYS DO THAT! Yet, I always tell ONE person…then just slope off quietly. I just needed a sleep. I’d been at fittings all day.

However, I’m glad I did leave now, because they all woke up at my chick friend ‘Double B’s’ house.

One.. found joggers…

‘Who’s random joggers are these?’

One… in the dirtiest crop top ever..

‘What the fuck have you got on? Why does it look like you’ve picked it out of a bin. It has rips and disgusting stains on it.’

‘Double B’ (the hostest with the mostest) apparently woke all the girls up, at the crack of dawn, with her FULL FACE on and in a KIMONO.

Hahahahaha. I’M DYING. I LOVE IT. I WAS SO PROUD. THAT IS SO ME.

Then she had to move her car, so she put joggers on, UNDER HER Kimono and moved her green gangsta Mercedes, so people could do the ‘walk of shame.’

That’s friendship.

I’m glad i went home early and missed it all. Lol.

Cya,

Thank you for following my life. x