Life, Death & It’s Almost My Birthday

Oh my gosh! I have been drizzled with the snuffles and dashed with the sassy old flu bug. My nose has trickled a seductive *tap dance* (no one looks good with a runny nose) and due to such a beautiful time of Lemsips, Fox Onesies and trying to keep warm at all costs, in the ABSOLUTE FREEZING COLD (I told you, i’m far too exotic for this shit..Yeah, yeah, born in Doncaster. Yeah, yeah…still 100 percent Burmese)…..Wunna Land has been MAN *the jizzles* DOWN.

SAVE YOURSELVES!

(I mean you can’t be Doncaster, Burmese, in ya thirties AND have a runny nose. The combination on ANY level, just DOES NOT fly.)

To be honest, I’m actually quite good when i’m poorly, because the ‘DIVA’ in me pretends that I’m fine. Always fine. I could be naked, crippled and dying on a jagged rock somewhere, covered in rum, despair and diamonds, yet still ask you the time and demand that you,

 ‘Pass me my Louboutins and sort out my schedule.’

So yeah, being me. There’s no sulking. (I’m not one for melodrama and find it unattractive in others. I don’t like mountains out of mole hills, even if it’s raining.)

I zipped myself up and worked all the way through my kitty flu…and yeah I cancelled meetings with new strangers, big ones where in which humans had to catch flights from New York to Manchester, in order to meet me over dinner.  I had to, otherwise a ‘burnout’ would’ve got the better of me. Everything happens for a reason.

However, I figured, that if I kept it all moving, life would pity me and like ‘toddlers in a nursery’ I’d hopefully pass the lergy on, with grace… to one of my delightful chick friends.

‘Honestly, I’m gonna show up and pass it on..’

(Generous of me, I know.)

Anyway, it worked… I’m utterly on the mend and now everyone else is ill. 🙂

*Cheeky. Cheeky. Wink*

I haven’t been able to blog over the last few days, due to work and the kitty flu, but i’m back. A lot has happened.

I still need to write my London blog, as I spent the most wonderful time with my LA Bestie and Superstar Chef Ronnie Woo last week and that was waaay before I did The Backroom Leeds, in sequins and casual winks.

So that blog is still to come and I can’t wait to tell you about our time together. I have some really great LA friends, who have become my life soldiers, simply because we all went through so much together, trying to battle entertainment, in one of the toughest towns in the world. A tough but wonderful town, that is STILL glamourised as ‘Hollywood.’

I have events and blog assignments jiggering all the way up to my glittery eyeballs. I’m really lucky and i’m so grateful. I’ve signed up to campaigns, ones to help the homeless, others to provide support for those in fear of ‘coming out’ in football…there are new brand collaborations and photoshoots a plenty…a booked.

I have an exciting New Year.

But, as a shock…there’s been a death in the family…well I prefer to say a ‘passing.’ My grandmother passed away in the early hours of this morning, well…last night. So, as you all slept and snuggled up to your loved ones (who are probably annoying you right now,) Wunna land was wide awake, with frantic panics and ‘get to the hospital now’ calls. It was almost SO BUSY, yet in slow motion. We’re a really close family, so moments like this, take over everything.

The weird thing is…I actually randomly dreamt of the ‘passing’ on Tuesday night, but I didn’t tell my Mum because I didn’t want to scare anyone. It was just a dream right?

Two days later…early this morning, my grandmother was peacefully taken away from us. My Mum, who’s is the most loving human, yet as tough as can be, is obviously pretty broken by it all, right now. No one loves anyone, as much as my Mum knows how to love. I hate seeing her in tears. It breaks me. Yet, like I said, we’re a loving family, a close family and we’re a family who handles death & support really well.

We cried. We all cried. Even Ruby cried. But in a way, it was beautiful because now the woman who taught me everything I could possibly KNOW about ‘old school’ grace and glamourosity ..

(..my Grandmother used to be a model, Miss. Burma infact. She was dainty and dignified, glamourous and beautiful. She married my Grandfather, a wealthy, stylish lawyer, who saw her at a Miss Universe heat, upon his travels. They loved each other madly and treasured each other with every inch of their souls. They taught me love. They taught me class. And my Grandfather treated her like she was the ultimate Queen of his heart. He provided her with a life that was almost like a dream. )

My favourite memory of my Grandmother is the day she pulled me to one side, in her bedroom, in Burma. We were surrounded by the finest carved teak and luxury.  I was around 13 years old and she secretly gifted me with a tiny precious box. In the box was a ring that she wanted me to have and treasure forever…The ring was gleaming, with the most beautiful Burmese Ruby.

It was the first precious gem that I had ever owned and that moment meant SO much to me, that 17 years later, when I birthed my first child,  I actually named my daughter after that moment.

She’s at peace now….She’s happy… and as my dream showed me, is now with the man of her absolute dreams.

Sleep well Grandma. I love you, always. (I definitely get my awful sense of humour from you. 😉 )

Now, I don’t want you all, to read this as something dreary, as all of Wunna Land, the entire family are sending her our blessings and talking through the ‘passing’ like it couldn’t be more beautiful. I guess, it’s our way of handling it. Yet, i’m someone who prefers to focus on the great moments you have with a human, rather than give energy to the ‘not so’ jolly.

I sat down with Ruby & Junior last night, who seemed so shocked about it all…and in that moment, as I hugged them both… and Junior wiped a tear from his eye… I taught them how important it was to love and more than anything how important it was to LIVE every single inch of their lives without fear. Last night, I felt like I had a purpose. I felt strong. It was wonderful.

So yeah..A lot has been going on and i’m currently having brief afternoon banter with ‘London Business Man,’ who is desperately hungover, still in bed and telling me he ‘misses me.’

‘I’m soooo hungover and four hours late for work. I’m waiting for my boss to call me and shout at me. I’m being all honest and nice to you. You need to say something lovely back, that’s how it works.’

‘You only missed me because you were pissed?? Lol’

In the midst of all that…it’s my birthday in FIVE DAYS. Yup. This little kitty turns 37 in FIVE FLIPPING DAYS! I’m really excited. I LOVE having a birthday. More than anything, I want to celebrate LIFE right now. And I’m weirdly not fretting about the snazzy ‘Being 37’ thing, I’m actually finding it quite sexy? I never felt more together.

I have the weekend to pack and then I am en route to the enchanting Sherwood Pines Forest, on Monday.. for a FOUR DAY break of peace, tranquility and champagne dripped, open air,  hot tubbing, deep in the heart of the woods, in the luxury forest cabin… with the Babies, my Mum, my Dad, Brother and cousins, for my birthday.

I’m so excited. I’ve needed a peaceful break for so long…

Luckily for you, there is absolutely no rest for the wicked, because I will be blogging from my forest cabin EVERYDAY and treating you to live cabin videos, blogs and an actual tour of my digs.

Follow me on everything and YOU get to be there with me, as I take glamping to the NEXT UTTER LEVEL. I actually love that you’re gonna be a part of Wunna Land, as right now…I need it.

I hope you’re all okay?

How did your Thursday pan out?

London, Thai Brides & ‘The Worm’ in Budapest

I arrived at Kings Cross Station at around noon, after getting stuck in Peterborough for a sassy short while, which was after an evening of ‘good times’ with Zanetti at Mission Leeds.

I slept on the way there, so I didn’t feel dodgy at all, to be fair. I did good. I’m pretty good at prioritizing, these days. If I need to be somewhere, no matter where life has taken me the evening before, I’ll be there. It can honestly be the crack of dawn. If it’s important, i’ll be there.

I had a really important meeting in London….so I made it there, in one glamourous piece, after a snuggle with my babies and a snooze on an early morning Sunday train. (Sunday trains are busier than you think. They’re annoying because everyones reserved a seat, meaning you think you have nowhere to sit, However, no one shows up for their seats because they’re hung over or can’t be arsed,….meaning you’re sat or stood somewhere you didn’t want to be and for no real reason at all.)

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Now, again…I can’t tell you anything about my meeting, other than the fact that it was a PR meeting, a career meeting and that I was greeted outside Platform 3, at Kings Cross Station.

After attempting to chat ‘work,’ at Five Guys, where the music was too loud, the tables were wibbly and with a Corona in my kitten hand.

‘What? It’s the hair of the dog? I’ve been up all night…’

(I love that I can rock up to a meeting, in a giant white faux fur, sit in a burger joint, order a Corona at 12.01 and simply smile with a..

 ‘I did a Launch Party last night. I’m knackered. Everyone was there. I really need this Corona. Anyway…yeah….where’s my career headed, doll?’

‘We need to go somewhere else. I can’t even hear you. It just needs to be quieter, so I can take notes and chat about everything.’

We moved to a much more peaceful venue, where you could talk career, Wunna Land and the art of ‘moving forward.’ I definitely looked like a ‘Mail Order Bride’ (i always flipping do and it’s annoying.) But after 2 hours and after dreams and hopes were bagged up and scheduled, I popped into the Great Northern Hotel for a quick Merlot before my train back onto Northern soil. (I love the GNH because the couldn’t be nicer to me. The service is impeccable, I have hundreds of tales to tell, from that joint, the cocktails are a dream, they decorate their ceilings with giant chandeliers and because it’s right next to my train home, i’m two steps away from safety.)

Yet, these days, things are simple in Wunna land are they?

OFCOURSE a strange woman found me immediately. Ofcourse, she sat with me and wanted to tell me all about how rubbish her love life was because the guy she had been dating, wasn’t over his (believe it or not) Thai Bride. Lol. I listened. I tried to be helpful. But she didn’t want help. She just wanted a moan and a selfie.

My phone rang and it was ‘London Business Man’ and because I actually TOOK the call, and stopped giving her attention for ONE SECOND, she got in a mood and started calling me  a prostitute…because I ‘looked like one?‘ Lol

Cheers, Cuteness!

I was literally ON THE PHONE, to one of my REAL LIFE FRIENDS and she kept talking over me, to me and making me leave the guy (‘Billy’) who apparently doesn’t love her anymore, actual VOICEMAILS.

Me: ‘Billy doesn’t need to talk to me… I’m on the phone.’

It was crazy. She turned crazy. It all went tits up!

She eventually left and I was kinda glad, because I hate rude people. I’ll sit and chat to anyone. I’m great like that. But don’t be a melodramatic twit over nothing…then take it out on me. I didn’t cheat on you with a Mail Order Bride.

By this time, I had moved outside, (like ya do) and  as London traffic whizzed me by…. I just wished I was home. When you’re knackered…travelling is THE WORST. But ofcourse she followed me, with her luggage on wheels…and in her drunken state, just rambled on about how hard done by she was…because of Thai Brides. 🙂

 It felt looooooooooooong.

I eventually got home. I couldn’t wait to get home. I was finally back on Northern soil. I even text my mum from the train (lol) just for comfort….. and that night I went to bed at 9pm and slept like a baby, ready for my next day, my next early morning of work.

Last weekend was MAD. One minute I was with Santa, the next I was watching Tom Zanetti throw dwarves at people in Leeds, then I blinked and I was in a huge PR meeting in London with a Corona, and then underneath a chandelier some drunk lady decided to take out her history with Thai Brides out on me, whilst telling me she was a fan of my blog. (Kinda hope you’re not reading this.) 

Luckily, the great thing about life is that things quickly go back to normal, doesn’t it? Let me tell you that my faith in sanity and Wunna Land has now been restored.

I mean anytime you saunter into a room, on the 2nd floor of a building and ‘Hustle Barbie’ says,

‘I woke up in a bikini, after a SPATY (which is a pool party in a spa,) at six o clock in the morning, on the floor… in Budapest, before having to come home to Leeds…..’

…you know all is well.

She actually also performed ‘The Worm’ for a bunch of Hungarian men (which is her party piece when drunk and once they watched her do it, they looked at her and just went with ‘Nah….’

‘You always do the worm…’

‘Yeah, cos EVEYRONE MAKES ME!!!! My arms still hurt.’

I had a phone call yesterday, whilst I was tinkering into Marks & Sparks for a quick salad. This phone call was from the same human, who gave the ‘the shocking phone call’ a couple of weeks back. I hadn’t spoken to them since. I had just left them to do their own version of life.

Last night, I didn’t blog because after a mad weekend and a Parents Evening for Ruby, (fyi/ Ruby’s parents evening was amazing, completely different to the one I had to go through with Keiran, for Junior.  I don’t even know how Juniors teacher and I got through it without having to guzzle 42 wines? But yes, Ruby’s parents evening was an opposite kind of experience . Pete sat there and filled up with ‘I’m so proud of her’ tears, which means a lot doesn’t it? I mean, we’re not together and haven’t been for years, but we co parent with such ease and love for our little one….that it’s magical.

I love Ruby and Junior with every inch of my soul, so after a really busy weekend of work and madness….ALL I WANTED AND NEEDED was to spend my time with THEM. Even tonight, we’ve had the most peaceful yet hilarious evening together….and I just watch them grow up before my very eyes with amazement. I’m a really lucky girl. They make my entire world worth it.  I mean, we may have our ‘ups’ and we certainly have our ‘downs,’ yet regardless there is such a deep love and strong bond between the three of us.  We make each other feel really special.

Anyway,where was I? I keep going on these tangents!!

Today, the guy that I can’t tell you anything about yet, who had made the ‘shocking phone call’ a few weeks ago, had also called me twice last night. I missed the calls because I was in bed early. However, this afternoon, whilst I was in a creepy cellar with a Beth, learning the alphabet, I called him back to see what he wanting.

This human NEVER FAILS to shock me. So i’m there in this cellar, now looking at bottles of prosecco, with the alphabet around my cobwebbed heels, shouting sentences at him, in order to conjour up some form of sense, clarity and ‘now what we gonna do’s?’ It was hilarious. These shocking phone calls are always left with an ambiguous ending , where anything could occur….? In the New Year, I’ll tell you ALL about it. Right now…I’m just not allowed to. Lol But we’re gonna have to meet up and talk through everything…recap and recoup…..The only thing I can tell you about the convo is this….

Guy: ‘My situation’s changed….’

Me: ‘Well you need to sort it out because…’

Don’t hang out in cellars..they’re creepy. EVEN IF, there is unopened Prosecco in there.

Regardless to all that, i’m home. I’m working tomorrow. I’ve chilled all night with the babies. ‘London Business Man’ said he was wanted to take me out to dinner. Junior has become obsessed with the calculator on my phone. Ruby has braided my hair, so that I too can be a unicorn? I’m sipping a wine. I’m really missing someone. My feet hurt. My phone won’t charge. I’m second guessing myself. I’m so proud of Australia for VOTING YES, on marriage equality. I’m learning to concentrate on what I’M DOING and not on what EVERYONE ELSE is doing.

But life on the whole is WONDERFUL.

I’m the luckiest girl in the world!

I’m Off To Zanetti’s Shindig…

Tonight i’m at Tom Zanetti’s Album Launch part at Mission Leeds. It doesn’t even start until 11pm (which is definitely going to kill me,) yet ‘ve had an amazing day with Ruby, Junior, Santa and every childs character,from Pikachu, to Chase from Paw Patrol, that right now watching them beam has kinda put me in the greatest of moods. I’ve even had ‘before me meet Santa’ cocktails. *Wiggle, Wink.*

But yes, even though i am absolutely not used to an 11pm start, i’m feeling quite fun tonight. I’m in the mood for a good ‘couple hours’ blow out.

Abeiku Arthur: ‘You do know that is is a full blown club night at Mission??’

Me: ‘Haha. Yeah I know. I love that we’re actually going to Mission for a club night. Lol. I’m in London in the morning, so we’ll just go for a bit and head back.’

I don’t stay anywhere until 9 o clock in the morning, unless it’s a guy that putting a ring on it. 🙂 I’ll have the best time. But liek I said…I’ve got work in the morning and a train to catch.

But yes, if you’re heading down, i’m looking forward to seeing you. I’m a huge Zanetti fan. He’s worked really hard to get where he is right now and right now, he’s smashing it all over. He’s Leeds. He’s here. He’s on his way up that glitzy ladder of success. He’ll appreciate you being there.

Y’know, Leeds is no joke. We don’t play! I’m watching us all creep up from under the wood works now, after years, no decades…of hard, hard work….

Tonight, I’ll GO and  celebrate his night. It’ll be completely and utterly RAMMED, but technically, who cares…I’m in the VIP, so i don’t have to get squashed by Zanetti fans, who will definitely be sweaty and screamy. (There’s not a more popular male in Leeds. I tells ya!)

My ‘Plus 1’ is Abeiku Arthur, who had Tom on the cover of his High Fashion mag ‘House of Solo’…The night is going to flooded with a mix of reality stars, models, sportsmen and his besties….and I’m going to blog what goes on in a Zanetti VIP. He’s bouji. He’s funny. He got into a bicker with Katie Price. I love a bit of Tom. I’ll celebrate anyone who’s smashing it!

I’m on chills right now, because like I said, this morning I delighted with Ruby and Junior. We shopped, we sang, we did Christmas in Doncaster. I tried to get a new phone, but instead ended up with new hair, shoes and handbag.They came back with bags full of gumball machines and weird techy toys.

Then we drove down to Ackworth Garden Centre to watch Santa arrive on his sleigh and I have never IN MY LIFE, seen the two of them MORE excited, than they were at that point. Ruby was squeaking and Junior was hugging everyone with glee. I’ really proud of them… It filled me with absolute joy.

Talking about JOY, the fact that ASK Italian, now do cocktails in a Disco Ball, has completed my life with bells on. Why, I don’t own my own cocktail bar is beyond me! Disco Ball cocktails wouldn’t just be for Christmas, they’d be FOR LIFE. 🙂

I did a late lunch at Ego after chilling it with Santa. Gino D’acampo was at Gino’s Leeds last night. I think right now, I deserve to SLIP INTO my tiny sliver dres,s from the Kourtney Kardashian line, for Pretty Little Thing (it was delivered to me this morning) and go have some ‘party party’ fun with our Zanetti in Leeds, right?

I told you. I’m dedicated the rest of my year to good times, as I have a really exciting 2018 ahead of me.

I’m only gonna go for a bit. Well a couple hours, as the shindig goes on until 9am. (I’m a sleeper. I need a nights sleep. Sleepin’ isn’t cheatin’ in my world. Lol.) Infact, i’m actually on a train to London at 9.23am tomorrow morning. So a few celebratory drinks for Tom, a boogie and well who knows who i’ll meet!!! 😉 Then i’m home to get a couple hours shut eye, before travelling to London to meet my PR in the morning. (It’s a really important meeting.)

I should start getting ready, it’s nearly 7pm and I’m  Abeiku Arthur at Xscape at 9.30pm, so we can head to Leeds early.

 

 

 

 

Gino’s, High Fashion Mags & Loading Bays

Gino’s was great on Friday. It was the perfect treat to celebrate my soul, after a trip to Candy Mechanics. As soon as I pushed through that magical glass entrance and into the stylish, baby blue, sanctuary of Italian life, light and love…I was immediately greeted with warmth, a gust of ‘part of the family’ and a distinct zap of (what I call) ‘boujiness.

‘Hi Chrissie! How ARE you! Great to see you again!’

(Almost like i’d never left.)

The beautiful hostess beamed with ‘Wunna’ delight and stylish Italian manager came over, for hugs and ‘welcome back’ kisses. I always feel at home, whenever I walk through those doors. There’s no place like it for me. It’s cosy and immaculate, yet filled with a fun, sophisticated, Italian vibe. Whenever I go, I’m treated so well, that all that’s left to do is to enjoy a freshly frosted glass of prosecco. It’s m perfect. ‘relax after a busy work day’ haunt.

Me: ‘I’m just gonna grab a drink, if that’s okay? I’m on my own.’

Hostest: ‘Do you need me to take your coat?’

Me: ‘No, no, i’m fine thank you. I’ll just head down to the Prosecco bar.’

She smiled like I knew my way…(and I know my way to any Prosecco bar…blind) and as I sauntered down the stairway, I cheekily glimpsed around the restaurant.

It was all a bustle, almost every table filled with good times, families and friends. Infact, it was really quite busy for 2pm on a Friday! I couldn’t see an empty table. Even when I got down to the Prosecco bar for a quiet drink (the prosecco bar was peaceful, I was the only one sat at the bar) the downstairs restaurant was also full. It was filled with a party of handsome, excited, stylish young men. Guys! The boys! They looked like they were celebrating something? But who knows? They had fun! They ordered THE BEST of everything in the entire place! Their bill actually came to a shocking amount and the great thing about them, was that they didn’t care one bit because they had spent it on ‘good times’ and memories.

I looked over at the lady behind the bar, who had already asked me what I’d like..and with a wink and a smile…my frosted glass of prosecco was right there in front of me.

*Looks down at phone.*

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where you at? I’m in Leeds.’

Me: ‘Ginos. You coming? I’ve only got 7 percent battery life…My phone’s gonna die.’

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Yeah. Cool. Stay there. Be there in 20 mins. No. 30 mins.’

Incase you’ve forgotten, Abeiku Arthur is one of my good, good friends. He owns the high fashion magazines, ‘House of Solo’ and ‘Pentagon.’ I love our impromptu catch ups, as we always end up talking business, work and banter. We have these personas of swag, style and grace….(well my ‘grace’ is dipped in moderate SASS,) yet if you were to actually sit in, on one of our conversations, you’d probably DIE of actual ‘holy shitness.’ Nothing is more OPEN than our conversations. He brings the ‘gangsta’ our in me.

Anyway, i’m sat at the bar, sipping prosecco by myself, happily taking selfies and snapchatting life at Gino’s. I’m running out of charge because of this Tom Foolery, and if i HATE anything, I truly dislike running out of charge. (If you know me personally, you will know that I ALWAYS carry a charger.)

Luckily, whilst I was sat at the bar, I noticed a guy sat at the end of the bar, on a laptop, that had a wire that mysteriously disappeared under the bar.

I followed the magical wire with my eyes…and BOOM, I ungracefully plonked my head rapidly under the bar and OH MY LORD, HAVE ALL THE MERCY, to my absolute DELIGHT, under the bar, was charger point HEAVEN. Hundreds of sockets. Life! Light! My heart may have skipped a beat. I plugged in and charged up…Yet weirdly I did it sneakily, because you do don’t you for some reason, when you’re charging your phone in public places? There’s a sense of ‘am I meant to be doing this’ about the whole situation. But you do it anyway?

Abeiku Arthur shows up, with some vintage camera that he’s bought from some vintage store, and takes photos of me to adjust his flipping focus.

We talk work. We talk life. We talk banter. We have some many stories that would shock your soul, it’s almost hilarious. We’re both hustlers. We’re both determined. We both have businesses that have accidentally done well. I love ‘House of Solo’ because I know how hard he works and how bad he wants success. Were both hustlers by nature. I do it glamorously. He does it dipped in a swaggalicious dash of ‘high fashion.’ He loves ‘Wunna Land’ and chrissiewunna.com because, who flipping doesn’t? 😉 But really, to him, i’m amazing because i’m honest. I’m real. We always have these bets on with each other and there has NEVER been ANYTHING SO FAR that I have SAID i’m going to do, that I haven’t done YET! Well..apart from ONE THING.

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where’s my money! You ain’t done that at all!’

Me: ‘Fuck off. It isn’t Christmas yet. I said CHRISTMAS! Anyway, I have a tab open, order a drink if you want.’

‘Nah, it’s cool. I’ll get mine.’

‘You do know, i’m getting a cocktail after this…’

‘You’re not, i’ve parked in a loading bay, so we’re on a timer. You have to come with me to see this chick, who’s got  some camera lights that I need to look at…Oh! I have PR now.’

‘Really who…?’

We finish our drinks, we chat about our next career stop offs. We snapchat and get annoyed at the fact that the double ‘bunny ears’ filter, only commits to one. ME! 🙂  It plays with you doesn’t it?

One face ALWAYS has the ‘bunny ears’ and the other face has to tilt and meander in order to get a ‘look in.’ But it lies to you and tells you that you can BOTH ENJOY ‘bunny ears’ at the exact same time with EASE. There’s no ease about it. You end up in the most awkward head alignment, for absolutely no other reason, than showing people that you’re in a place, with someone or no one, with ‘bunny ears’ on your head…and even worse, we only use a filter because it makes us look better!

Abeiku Arthur: ‘MAN! Where are my bunny ears!!!!’

Me: ‘Ugh! Are we really gonna do Autumn Leaves now…!!’

(He’s doing really well right now. I mean, from Interviews with ‘The Script’ and the guy who sings the ‘She my Bestie, Bestie, she may Bestie’ song 🙂 , dashed with Gucci, Prada, Vogue writers, and Fashion week galore. He could’ve done a lot worse or himself. Lol.)

Abeiku Arthur: ‘And you’re the girl that’s managed to turn the story of her life into big bucks.’

Me: ‘As if you’ve parked in a loading bay.’

Life was great! All was great! I felt really positive all weekend. It was bliss.

The rest of my time was filled with family and baby love. I took the kids out. We had the best time of merriment. We bought toys, played out. We just swirled in Wunna land love. Our brunch of choice was at Patisserie Valerie in Doncaster and simply because Junior need banana pancakes and Ruby needed poached eggs. (It is the only place that does both.)

We met up with my Mum and had the best family weekend ever. Family’s really important to me. Growing up we were always close and throughout my 20’s due to work, I lived away in LA for years and years and years…but we were still REALLY REALLY CLOSE. We tell each other everything. Were a really open family. It’s filled to the brim with loyalty and love. Almost anything goes….and I just feel really lucky to have them.

I mean even this morning, I had to have a business meeting with my mum before I set off to work and she just looked at me, beamed and said,

‘ I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t believe in you. I believe in you more than anyone…’

(And she’s not soft like that is my Mum. She’s real. She’s ‘tough love’…But she has a kitten soul. She’s a ‘tell it how it is,’ kinda gal. J I love her more than life.)

She teaches me how to be a GREAT Mum and that I am. I mean look at this…Over the weekend…Ruby finds graffiti on the wall that reads the letters ‘BT’

Ruby:  ‘Mum? What’s that??’

Me: ‘It’s just graffiti babe..’

Ruby: ‘It’s like Ted Baker, but backwards.’

YES! MY CHILD ROCKS! BOOYAH! ALL THE TROPHIES!

We ended up doing a quick dinner at ‘Ego’ and then just enjoying Bonfire night, as the skies were littered with bitty burst of colour and excitement. I love everything about driving through the streets on bonfire night. The skies celebrate your existence and the airs smells of a warm, burnt whisper. It soothes any fire sign with comfort.

Saturday night I slept like a baby…

Then Keiran text me, at the crack of dawn, to see if I could drop Junior off at 8.30 am on Sunday morning….

One day, when i’ve chimed my ultimate success bell…I’ll be able to enjoy those blissful ‘good times’ and those glorious moments of ‘lay in’ without being suddenly woken up by ‘life alarms.’ I mean, I hate nothing worse than ‘alarms.’ Be it metaphorical or literal. I can’t stand waking up every single morning to the *bleep bleep* of my phone. It’s bad for my soul and sort of ‘off starts’ my day, because it forces me to get  up against my will. Surely my body should wake whenever  it wants to?

The only alarm I ever adored, was when I slept over at Samuel’s apartment in London, (I was on the Paris Hilton Show with him, back in the day.) He’s gay and his ‘Wake up’ alarm song was the ‘Part of That World’ by ‘The Little Mermaid.’ J

Now, i’m a Sasserilla and i’m not remotely ‘Disney’ by any means, but let me tell you, TO THIS DAY, (and do note that I have  been woken up by MANY an alarm, all over the WORLD… in a zillion hotel suites, a bundle of odd people’s bedrooms, my own personal delicious bed sheets and homes across the mighty globe..) DO NOTE, THAT TO THIS DAY, that SONG has been THE BEST ALARM WAKE UP CALL, I have ever had the pleasure to rise to! You really should try it! It’s bliss!

2009 Throwback Convo: (After we had returned from an evening out with Paris at Jalouse.)

Me: ‘You actually have Ariel has your wake up alarm.’

Sam: ‘Yeah obvs! What do you have?’

Me: ‘Usually just some guy telling me he’s not looking for a serious relationship. Lol’

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Kitty is BACK

I’m back dolls! How are you?? Oh my god. Sorry for my quick shimmie left with a wink exit….I’ve been in London. So, there hasn’t been a blog because I’ve been busy, I’ve been away, I was filming a little something and when I returned to that good old northern soil, I was blissfully shattered. I’ve had a lay in for 3 days straight and it’s amazing. Never happens. I have no hard work until the 21st, so right now i’m on a sassy recoup and boy do i fucking need it. Lol.

Right, obviously, I can’t tell you anything about my dandy little filming trip, yet you will get to see it…and all i can say about it was that as soon as my little kitten feet landed in The Capital, life turned to glitzy roses and *whoosh* it was a magical swirl of absolute glorious good times, dazzled in madness, shimmied in laughter. In that moment I felt really lucky to have such an ace life and to just be surrounded by really wonderful ‘like minded humans. I loved it. It was actually so great that it was almost surreal…like it was just a dream and never actually happened. I keep flash backing it to relive it in my head. Yes, I may have got carried away, but that’s what i do innit? Lol. I’ve actually written the blog on my time in London…as I you always have to write things in the moment, to keep it live enough for you to touch and live with me. But again, that wont get posted, until it’s meant to.

People always say that I’ve done so much in my life…that I’ve lived..and done it with bells on. But you’ve done it with me. You’ve gone through my awful ups and downs and cheered me on, even when i didn’t deserve it. Haha. So yeah, I guess i’ve done ‘so much,’ however, really i’ve just strutted around in heels and big hair and watched MUCH kinda DO ME. I don’t know how i’ve managed to survive it. But I have. I am. And i’m still bloody smiling.

Okay, but away from the jazzle. I got back to Yorkshire, messaged a guy on the train ride home, didn’t even get undressed and passed out, fast asleep in my bed blissfully…after pouring a wine that i thought i needed. Napped. Got up. Still felt shitty, but got on with life…I’m not a sulker am I? I mean fuck it, I even managed to snapchat my nap, with fabulous hair, so I couldn’t have felt that dodgy.

The rest of the few days as just been chills. I love recouping. It is bliss. I zoomed over to my chick friend ‘Firmonnells’ BBQ and kicked it family style over Doncaster spicy chicken with Big D and Little T and her babies. We drank Desperados and gossiped about my London time, as I gave Little T a ‘dreams come true’ talk, they listened to my love life banter and then we made fun of people who ‘aren’t in the game.’

‘You can’t call me Suzy Wu, if you’re not in the fucking game dude!!’

I kinda got home late via taxi and after a series of the traditional Wunna Snapchat selfies (Add me Chrissiewunna1) and with blips of chitter chatter, I got home and send a ‘needy’ message. Hmm….?

After a bit of arseiness, everything was dandy. The key to everything is to not be tired and text. Not be emotional and text. Not be both. Or hungover. Or just come back from filming a show and text. Just sleep on it….The quicker you bounce back from anything, the better the human you are. Almost makes you invincible. I don’t waste my time on being a pansy. I’m not some that can be arsed with holding anything let alone a grudge. Yet the main thing is…i just understand people…

Anyway, I’ve been chilling with Ruby and Junior and delighting in being Mum. Were trying to name a kitten. I’m resting up. I have big shoots, a book to write and fun brands to work with…so I’ve kinda got to get my head back to normal and smash it all with titty jiggles.

I started off my day by watching the ‘BEST OF JACKASS.’ (Which I love.) It’s weird because i’m such a girl and such a glamour puss. I love love and hair and heels. I radiate femininity like it’s a fragrance that woos the nation..but I have such an inappropriate sense of humour. I have a boy ‘locker room’ sense of fun, which is devastating. Haha. It’s a twisted sense of rubbish ‘pranky’ awkward humour that runs through my system and I love it. I mean, GOD, I love a bit of ‘Real Housewives…’ yet can’t wait to watch the BOXING. I don’t even know why? It must mean i’m greatness…

Anyway, this blog was just a catch up. so you have my apologies for it’s shitness. I just needed to get back on that horse. I’m on chills and picture taking for the rest of the week. But at least I managed to write the blog, I kept glaring at my pink laptop like it had the lergy. I couldn’t bring myself around to do it.

But it’s done…stay tuned…i’m on FIRE. I actually have a really rest of the year…I feel lucky.

 

 

 

It’s All About Life Magic & Vino

Rinalidi’s in Wakefield was great on Tuesday evening. Kinda feels like it was a million glitter years ago now, as life has swirled into a glorious, yet easy going ‘busy’ mode So much has happened. I’ve pretty much flittered all over the merry land this week, armed with winks, heels and charm. Let’s just say, I received the best ‘good news’ any little kitten could ever receive. The kinda news that fills your entire soul with a magical unexpected *gush* of happiness, a flow of exuberant glee. It shocked me, but meant so much to me because it pretty much made me cry. I trickled little happy tears and because it felt like a dream come true.

I feel really lucky right now and i’m lucky by nature, that’s for sure, yet right now I’m REALLY lucky and have no clue why? So whenever you hear people tell you (including myself) that things in work and love and anything in between is all only down to hard work, know that it’s not true. There is ALWAYS something more that is completely out of control that swirls through the air around you like magic and it’s that ‘ooh laa’ that is far more powerful that any kind of hard work you put in. (But do put in the work. Otherwise…well you’re foolish.)

But yes Tuesday at Rinaldi’s was great. The food there is actually delicious. Better than I thought it would be? The service was divine…even though everyone kept looking at me oddly whenever I scanned the room.It was almost like they had a private joke that I wasn’t in on. Lol. But again…it was great. I sipped a whisky sour, as I chatted about life, added wine to the order and delighted in my cabonara. Time zoomed by and before you know it, it was Wednesday and it was work time.

Everything’s busy. All’s a bustle. But i’m making time for all the things that matter to me now. I’m really balanced and i’m in control of the tinkering. I’m feeling WONDERFUL. Everything feels WONDERFUL. I never thought that I could feel this special. (And not in a weird ‘special’ kind of way. 🙂 ) However, I was shattered throughout Wednesday, as I just wanted my work day to be over. When I’m tired, i’m quiet. When I’m quiet…everyone thinks something is wrong. Lol. But it’s certainly not. It couldn’t be FAR from the truth.

On Thursday I headed down to London from Doncaster for a day of filming. I was so glamourous that all the way down. I literally smashed my head against the window continuously for an hour straight as I train napped with my mouth open. Lol. I love a good train sleep. When you’re travelling on your own for work, things are always boring. At least i got there in one piece…and ear wigged into other people’s conversations. (Some 17 year old girl who was very ‘Made in Chelsea’ was chittering to another posh boy about how her Daddy had just given her £10,000 for doing well at school. His Dad had also apparently given hi £10,000 also. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, then returned to my kitten nap.)

Ooh! Sorry. I’ve just reading my Whatsapp messages…Hang on…

But yes, filmed all day on Thursday. Really fantastic. Ofcourse i’m not going to tell you anything about it. Nothing whatsoever. 🙂 However, do know that I loved my time there and again, I can’t believe how much I seem to just be LIVING right now. Snippets of my life are currently so different and so surreal that when you piece them together, it’s almost unbelievable.

I guess, last year I dropped the jigsaw and this year I not only found all the pieces but I picked them up and pieced them back together  perfectly, yet with my fingers crossed and without a clue. Then that ‘life magic’ came in and gusted over it with love….and from that point onwards…THIS point onwards, as ofcourse I had a dodgy start 😉 I ALWAYS have a dodgy start I do them well……It  has been a dream. (I don’t even know what my chicks friends are thinking of it all? We haven’t really spoken about it too much. They’re just witnessing the change. I think we’re all just in shock. I’m in shock.)

‘You’re actually going to do this Wunna…’

Hang on…more Whatsapp messages….

Friday was a day of work and GOSH i was shattered  did that quiet thing again, but my heart was filled with love. I am BUZZING right now and i wish you could feel it. As soon as my phone *pings* my eyes shoot down to it and I beam. Things are great!

I’ve been in Doncaster all weekend with the babies. I’ve spent loads of time with them of recent and again it’s been wonderful. I mean GOD, this is the time where all those moments when i’ve had to miss the little things due to work commitment and money making, has finally made it worth it.  Love matters to me more than anything in the world. I write about it daily. And it’s funny because when you focus of love, be it around family, work or something more personal…something romantic, you have our priorities correct because it fills you with a cray BUZZ that is undeniably powerful and when you feel that way, you can conquer anything, you vibrate on a good energy…..I have that right no, that’s why i’m lucky.

But anyway, Doncaster for the weekend. My home town. I’ve been chatting to Shaun, who owns Prosecco Pit Stop. One of my favourite refuel stations. Lol. The kids even love it. They couldn’t be lovelier to me at Prosecco Pit Stop. Infact i think I owe them Prosecco money? Lol. Shaun is opening a new bar at Victoria Gate Leeds, where Issho and East 59th Bar currently reside and I cannot WAIT. I’m gonna champion that place like it’s home. I sat with him and chatted about business, the bar, PR and all sorts before I jumped on my 12.17 train to London. I’m very excited about his bar because he’s very excited about it. Excitement is contagious. I love it when people are passionate and moving forward with the things that the love. I hate it when people are pretentiously happy. We’re northern that’s not how we roll. It’s man to man, heart to heart.

OOh? I’ve just got a message from Jen in Paris..

‘Hi Christina! It was great to meet you in London. I have your clutch that you left in the room. It looks like it has some items you may need, including your drivers license… Give me your address so I can send everything back to you!’

Hahah. I’m such a shit. I love organised people.

Anyway, other than time with the babies, all weekend the best Whatsapp messages, lunch at Zest n Doncaster (I go with Ruby and Junior because they love the ‘press the alert’ button.) Afterwards we chilled it at Ego in Ackworth, (I go there all the time) and as always the service was completely AMAZING. They totally had an Arts & Craft bonanza table on Saturday afternoon and the babies LOVED IT. I mean, when staff sit with your bambinos and glue pigs to glitter boards, whilst you watch on and sip gin before the big ‘Mum can we go outside and run around…’ you know you’re in the best place ever.

I love a bit of Ego. You all know that though. I literally tinker across there always. Go there and you’ll find me with my salted rimmed margarita.

Anyway, I need to finish this wine and head off. I’m currently blogging from The Mallard in Doncaster, in the Frenchgate Centre.

Staff: ‘You haven’t been in here in ages.’

Me: ‘I was here yesterday? I was here in the morning dong wine before London trains on Thursday!’

Life is good and what I learnt over the last few days is that you really can have faith in people and they really will follow through upon the journey where their heart takes them. Some people will talk the talk and others will display the notion that Actions always speak louder than words.

I love you,

Chrissie

ps. Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Smashed A Bit of London Pride.

I had so much fun in London! I smashed Pride. I only did one night, due to Mummy duties and Jenna’s ‘come around to mine for drinks’ night.

But Lord, nothing is better than meeting Theo,  your LA best friend, who you haven’t seen in 11 years and then accidentally realizing that it’s Gay Pride in London (He’s gay. Not straight. And so much fun. We’re really similar.) Anyway weirdly, as soon as I tottered through the ‘Double Tree’ hotel doors in the West end and rushed up to his suite, on the warmest day that I have ever experienced in London, he swung open the door AS I KNOCKED, and it was really really emotional. I didn’t even know what to say!!! I was in shock.

A rush dashed through me and I had to blow out, like I was in labour. But then…within  minutes, everything just went back to how it was 11 years ago….which was GREAT! It was easy! We picked up exactly where we left off….and that’s how you know you have a true friend. He missed me. I could tell by the way his eyes smiled.

Theo:’ OH MY GOOOOOOOOD! YOU LOOK AMAZING!

Me: ‘Gosh! I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re here!

Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing and outdoor

I’d accessorized with a golden clutch and a handbag that had ‘overnight stuff’ shoved in it. (I always pack light, because I hate carrying shit.) Theo out accessorized me, as he had no golden clutch, yet instead brought ‘Jenny from Paris.‘ Yes, an entire American human from Paris. We chatted, we laughed and she napped as Theo and I tinkered to ‘Hercules Pillars‘ for pints and snacks in the sun…and then with a wink we were met by hot gay Daniel from Wimbledon’ in tight white shorts and from the point on, where in which life made us revolve out of those ‘Double Tree’ glass doors….the city was our oyster. AND WE LIVED IT!

It was a heated swirl of London party magic. It was Pride. It was Soho. It was alive. It was a glamourous blow out of testosterone, laughter, new fun with old friends and warm air in a new city. We stopped at ‘Balls & Company’ a cute little date spot where you can grab tapas like balls (all the food is ‘ball’ shaped’) and alfresco dine, in the middle of London as the busy streets and people bustle by you. We ordered every ball on the menu and enjoyed wine, banter and cocktails, as we told stories of our present, relived stories from our past and style watched as we shared our balls. Lol. (I actually just drank the whole way through.) The food was OKAY. It wasn’t superb. But it was a great bouji spot of ‘coolness.’ I mean God, even a homeless guy tottered up and asked to try a ‘ball.’ This was after we offered him a tasty gourmet potato wedge. He shunned it and said, ‘No, i just want that ball.’ I loved it! He then went to try to empty find prosecco bottles for dregs. If I was homeless…I’d be him…but with better hair. Then I forgot about it all and just had more wine whilst refusing to eat. (I don’t like eating when i’m on a drinking mission.)

Dan: ‘I love how well Chrissie just KNOWS her party process.’

Me: ‘Dan! I even know how your night ends. You’re going to stop drinking water, have a few wines and get super sassy…’

Dan: ‘I’m giving my body a break….’

Image may contain: 5 people, people smiling, people standing, night and outdoor

He ended up giving in and getting really drunk on gin and then letting hot men grind on him to hip hop tracks in Freedom bar, before ‘leaving early‘ for sex. Lol.

It was such a fun night and glamour and warm shimmies, in the evening air, under the stars, as the streets just filled itself up with ‘good time’ folk and characters.

It was great for us because we were such a good click. A great team of ‘night out.’ We’re all the least judgmental humans on the planet…all a bit hot…:) ….and all know how to just have a good time without being high maintenance. I honestly felt like I was on holiday. It was that great! It was magical…. Even though my feet killed on the fucking cobbles. They fucking killed. I couldn’t even walk and they ruined my world.

‘Paris Hilton gave me these shoes for getting naked on the telly….they KILL!

We went from bar to bar and drank ourselves silly with love. We danced, we chatted to strangers….we lived. One gay even did my hair outside Circa. My favourite thing is someone playing with my hair, so secretly it was BLISS. Touch my hair always. I love it. Especially when it comes with grooming advice.

Once we got to Freedom bar, I did notice that everything turned testosteroney. Gay dating is REALLY different to straight dating. It is men and heated hormones….It is CRAZY. At this point, all the gay men in London had ‘gone for it‘ and this was their hour to pull!

‘Jenny from Paris’ and I just danced and let them do their do. The odd straight boy would find us and come gyrate around us or try to hip hop tracks, whilst trying to feel our bums…but I couldn’t be arsed with it really. I just wanted enjoy my time with Theo and friends and this was the latest I had stayed out in AGES!

I am a cocktail bar and ‘chill it’ kinda girl. A good balance of both. I love fun. I love that flirty wild energy. I’m a lot of fun. But i’m a glamourous soul, aren’t I! After a certain hour, nothing is glamourous anymore…that’s when the real pissheads are out. And yes, that night…I was out. 🙂 We all got so drunk. And for the first time ever…I ordered water at a bar to sober up. Lol.

Early hours, we jump in an Uber. Everyone around us in London now seems to be wasted, hooking up or falling out with each other, around us at this point. I’m shattered by this point. I had an early start to my day with Mummy duties etc, so I fall asleep in the cab and shock myself up when we get to the hotel…and just like that, whilst Theo and Jen tried to banter free cookies out of concierges…I passed out in tiredness in a giant hotel bed. I’m too old for late nights. Lol. I need and LOVE my sleep. But I had so much fun!

AND WEIRDLY I HAD THE BEST NIGHT’S SLEEP EVER.

I slept like I had never slept before, so deeply and for hours straight without a wink or wiggle, for a whole EIGHT HOURS.

We all did.

The next morning Jenny from Paris woke up hungover, to the point where she was unsure as to whether she could participate with the rest of the day. I felt fine, but wished i had brought flat shoes. Theo was fine. We went to brunch and had wine for breakfast. He smashed a whole PIZZA in a cafe for BRUNCH Lol, i had humus and Jenny looked at her soup….then looked at it again before feeling sick because we had ordered wine.

Me: ‘You really should eat that. You will feel so much better in an hours time for doing so. I used to do it all the time in LA before work after nights out.’

Jenny: ‘I love how you just KNOW the party process…’

AGAIN! Another human who said the exact same thing. I should write books on it.

The sun was out. The sunglasses where on. Then due to Mummy duties and because Junior was distraught because his new pet caterpillars hadn’t arrived I had to sweep up my handbag and jump into an Uber to the Kings Cross station. I messaged my mum all the way, after saying my ‘good byes’ and then jumped on the 14.08 train from Platform 0 to Doncaster.

Got home, felt shattered, played with the babies who i’d missed so madly and whilst telling my mum stories of my evening. I can tell my mum anything, she’s great like that. Then as Ruby and Junior settled  and laid to sleep for the evening, now utterly content that Mama was home, I then tinkered over to see Jenna, Danielle and my old work friends, for casual night time drinks on the terrace, with a whole bunch of close beings, who i’ve known for years, again under the evening stars but this time on chilled Yorkshire soil.

It was again the most brilliant time, filled with laughter and memories. We’re like one big happy family, who can just sit and take the piss out of each other over cocktails.

Jenna was kinda proud that I made it. I’m a good friend. I’ll fit an entire work week in, and bloggers schedule, mummyhood and travel, even party the night away in the capital with the gays and STILL make it to your chilled drinks on the terrace.

To be fair, it got a bit rowdy. Lord knows who her neighbours are, but they are ‘da bomb.’ I mean GOD, imagine listening to us lot singing really badly… to every old school 90’s pop song, by every boyband imaginable, at the top of our voices, after midnight, like we were auditioning for the Xfactor. We loved it. We lived it. We went for it. People were being sick, taking naps, crying and sliding down stairs on their bellies.

I simply sang and danced to Blue and Backstreet boys.

Then I took my pretty ass home.

Again! I slept better than I ever had and weirdly today, i felt great. I think it’s because i had championed a really busy time, a stressy time, where in which I just needed a blow out. We all did. Everyone working alongside me, needed a blow out. I got that and it made me feel free. It made my weekend feel like a holiday, I mean I did so much…and as a result…it sort of made me a better human because I felt like a refreshed happier human.

Today was great! Everything’s been great! I’ve chatted to the girls and loved it. ‘Double B is back, and everythings back to normal. They all seem chipper, but probably because we all just did our own thing at the weekend and went for it. We drank loads and blew out ALL our stress balls. I definitely came back to work feeling better. It proves that you need balance. You can never be a successful human without a little bit of everything in your life. Even if you think you are…you’re not. Constant work stress killed me….I just needed a break…and once I got it…I felt free again on my return.

I really wish I had a foot rubber.

Who wants to be in charge of Wunna Land foot rubbing?

Right, I’m shattered now. I’m going to bed.

Hope you’ve started your week well. If not, you’ve got plenty of

time left to fix it. 😉

Love you!

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!

 

 

 

 

Frupples, Footy & Martinis

Did you even know that a ‘FRUPPLE’ is the term used for when THREE PEOPLE are in some kind of sexual or romantic relationship! I didn’t either! Fact of the day alert!!!! Wait! I’ve just been told it’s actually ‘Throuple’ not FRUPPLE!! Hahahaha. I like ‘FRUPPLE’ better. I used that instead!

‘Dipper,’ who’s one of my guy friends. Well, he’s just got back from somewhere sunny and decided to tell Firmonnell, Double B and I abut some creepy two part program he likes to watch on ‘Netflix and chill.’ Lol.

Dipper: ‘AW! It’s so good! Two married people are shit together and sex has gone stale, so the husband goes off and has sex with an escort, but falls for her. The wife then finds out and needs to go see who this escort is and then falls for her ….’

Me: ‘Are you sure this isn’t just a porn. No wonder you like it so much.’

Dipper: ‘Honestly, it is the BEST thing on Netflix EVER. They’re all in this weird three way frupple…where they’re all having secret sex, but they’re married.’

I love the word ‘FRUPPLE.‘ It makes something so weird and creepy, so cushion cosy. I’d hate to be in a ‘Frupple.‘ It’d wind me up. I’m not good at making the best out of a bad bargain without just leaving and making cups of tea. Haha. Can’t even remember what ‘Dipper’ said that flipping show was called now? Let’s just go with ‘Something Porny.’ And who even knew that ‘Netflix and chill’ actually does mean ‘Netflix and chill’ and not ‘just some guy trying to invite you over under the false pretences of chilling, when he’s really going to attempt to bone you.’ 

I knew the day would go this way as it began with a series of really shit jokes. Shit jokes are only great when delivered well. When you’ve built up your crowd for just long enough and then BOOM.

We’re all sat in this room…all girls aside from three guys and one of them in a pair of leopard print ‘business’ socks and Lady Shizzle decides she’s going to tell us a really good joke she heard the evening before over drinks. One of those ‘English man, Irish man, Scottish man’ jollies. (DO NOTE, I am AWFUL when it comes to listening to the ‘English Man/Irish Man’ jokes because they just get too long winded and I zone out. So i’ve already mentally prepared myself…which was difficult, as I had definitely had a conversation about ‘wanking’ approximately 4 minutes previous.

Anyway, Lady Shizzle begins her ‘English Man/Irish Man’ joke…something about them being on death row…and having their last meal? Then she changes it half way through, because she forgot the joke…lol (YOU CAN’T DO THAT) and now they’ve been captured by Tonto and  the Indians or something? People had ale, got scalped…You get the jist. The joke was delivered in the same wishy washy fashion. Haha.

Long story short, it ends with the Scottish Man being set free by the Indians because for his last meal he wanted to ‘pieces’ of bread to cum in. I got the joke. I got the jist of what the joke was meant to be about anyway. Lol. Due to the delivery of it…there was sort of dead air and everyone looked puzzled???

‘What’s pieces?’

‘It’s bread in Scotland.’

‘What’s happened?’

HAHAHAHAHA!

Then we have ‘Fairytale Blond.’ Little Innocent won’t get a naughty joke or ANY JOKE (lol) in the world ever. (UNLESS SHE REALLY PISSED AND THEN SAYS RUDE WORDS AND STICKS *TWOS* UP AT EVERYBODY.) Like her Dad used to say that she must have been ‘raised in a cupboard’ because she was so immune to understanding a good bit of ‘joke.’

Lady Shizzle told the joke and ‘Fairytale’ just looked Professionally BLANK. Hahaha.

Fairytale: ‘I don’t get it?’

Me: ‘He’s cum!!’

Fairytale: ‘Well why would he not get scalped for that?’

Me: He’s cum in bread. It’s a joke.

Fairytale: ‘My Dad always said he thought i was raised in a cupboard. I don’t get it at all?

That’s how my day began. Yet whatever, I’m not the joke was delivered that badly now…I mean, how can I put it? A glass of prosecco thrown at you… is just as exciting as a glass of bubbly prosecco poured for you, from a luxurious great height by a hot waiter, because both moments are ‘alive.’

The moment was ALIVE. Lol. YET, GOD why do I have such thick friends. 🙂

I love being Yorkshire because you really can just turn around and say,

‘You’re thick you…’

..and it’s completely acceptable.

Anyway, i have to go get ready for work.

I’m moderately hormonal, but i’m really excited to tinker on down to the new Japanese Issho Restauarant that has just opened. The launch night was 2 days ago…However, I will be going privately and i will be blogging my time there for you.

I’m also excited for the ‘British Style Collective’ in Liverpool, is it next week or in two weeks? Who remembers? It’s over four days, But i’m only going to be doing one…as EVEN MORE EXCITING NEWS, one of my BEST BEST BEST BEST LA FRIENDS ‘THEO BREAUX‘ (he’s an actor, I named a set of my eyelashes after him) is flying out from LA to LONDON for a few days.

I’m really excited. I haven’t seen him in years. We pretty much grew up together in West Hollywood. He’s MODEL hot, black and GAY….and I can’t WAIT to shimmie on down to London to see him. He couldn’t be more excited!

Anyway, I’ve got to go and listen to ‘Double B’ ramble on about how her extensions feel like a ‘Blanket of joy’ and then listen to my guy friends go on about football. (They apparently played Seven/A/Side last night in Leeds. *Wait i might fall asleep.* And let Webbo out because he had to work. LOL)  The chick part of my circle of friends are fun….we waste hundreds of pounds on cocktails..and moderately regret it.

David: ‘Whatever, you lot are dickheads. You spend £90 bar tabs on Pornstar Martinis.’

I think we decided that all men were selfish yesterday, whilst being hormonally imbalanced?

Which reminds me…’Hustle Barbie’ is back today!!!

 

 

 

 

 

London Business Trips & Brambles

Busiest weekend!

I glamorously fluttered from a full week of work, juggled the babies, winked wit a wine and then after a few hours sleep, I was up, getting changed and headed to London on Saturday for a really important meeting. I had another really important meeting that I ended up having to Skype whilst en route to Platform 3A to Kings Cross. It’s always weird doing a work Skype call in really public places, as you feel like a dickhead whilst you’re trying to sell yourself. Everyone glares at you likes you definitely have the lergy. But at least I had gin and tonics in my handbag. I kept shit bouji. It got me over the ‘pretending that I didn’t notice everyone glaring at me.’

Right, I’m just going to skim everything, as far too much has happened and I don’t have time to fit it all in. Plus, I have work in an hour.

Got to London in one sassy stop, was two hours early for my meeting, so I took my blue pin striped self to The Plum & Split Milk (which is one of favourite ‘by a train station’ cocktail joints. It’s delicious and decadent, with good looking waiters and chandeliers. But more importantly..the food and cocktails are DIVINE and made with love.)

This American guy started talking to me at the bar. He had always wished to go to LA, but spent his time in Philly. His sister was getting married in Scotland, which found him in London sat by me at a bar. He was smart and new lots about news and current affairs. Y’know, stuff that I’m shit at. However, I got him talking about men, sex and love…just in general 🙂 and after his eyes kept wandering to my boob line…I knew my time in his world was done and that I had stamped my mark on his life path for probably ever.

‘I feel like i should know who you are?’

‘I’ve got 3 minutes to get to my meeting…Nice meeting you. See ya!’

(I look to the bartender…)

‘Where is the Karpo Grill?’

Shot across the busy London streets by Kings cross, in my mini skirt and shirt, with 1 minute to go and a really big meeting ahead of me. I didn’t bring a coat..I was freezing, but as soon as I got almost outside the ‘Karpo’ door, there was a guy, a fun, warm business guy waiting for me with a smile..

‘Chrissie?’

‘Yeah, yeah…HI!’

‘It’s just straight down there…All the way down…’

Karpo Grill is a great place to chill and have a meeting. As soon as I tottered down, I felt cosy and comfy…Two other members o the team were there, so I ordered a wine and we got chatting…(I LOVE THESE PEOPLE. Their project is amazing…and if it’s done right, it will BLOW UP.)

Obviously, I can’t tell you anything about my meeting, other than banter, maybe naughty natters, a look to the future, sexiness, wine and agreeing business collaborations. There may have been talks about chimps, lovers, chips and peeky train rides. AND I DEFINITELY randomly started CHOKING on my burger, because I kept getting excited and talking with my mouth full. I really did choke. It was embarrassingly hilarious..and they were so polite that they didn’t make my embarassing choke festival a ‘thing.’ It was great! 🙂 More wine!

But yes, four very different people sat at a long Karpo table…yet the perfect elements to help smash one of the biggest projects about to infiltrate your lives…Were all very smart in our own areas of expertise.

I’ve signed and NDA, so that’s all I can wink at ya. But I am SO excited to be part of one of the most exhilarating projects that you WILL BECOME ADDICTED TO. It’s sexy, sassy, so creative and has never been done before! You will be hooked! As like I said, I have never been so excited for a project before, the way I am with this.

STAY VERY TUNED!

Then with five missed calls from my fabulously camp Liam. (He was in London overnight to get ready for filming the next morning for a TV show,) i had to dash off as fast as my kitten feet to take me.

I air kissed everyone goodbye, thanked them…and in a whirl…I swooshed away, out of one glass door, across more busy streets and into another…which lead me to a corner table, in a swooshy cocktail bar, as Liam sat there with a smile, a drink already ordered for me…and a sparkle in his eyes, which meant that we were going to have the best gay/girl banter that you could only have on a Saturday night, over Brambles in London…

That night I agreed to get kidnapped by the Gays…

To be continued…

I need to get to work.