Being ‘Filthy,’ Diva Strops & Pity Parties ;)

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How many days has it been? I don’t even know? It’s felt like forever…(let me just check…)

No, it’s fine. Monday was my last post. We’re all good. Well, I assume it was Monday, since it starts ‘Happy Monday,’ but let’s face it, you never know with me.


I did throw a pity party yesterday. I did well and took it out on my best chick ‘Firmonnell.’


‘It’s your job now.’

‘I know but…I’m throwing a pity party, just go with it… I feel like a thing and not a human…’

‘You ARE human, in fact you’re the best human I know.’

(I can’t stop adoring ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s someone that no matter what’s going on in her life, she’ll always make you feel better. I’m a bit like that…Yet only she notices it.)

Then I threw a moderate ‘almost’ strop on whatsapp last night, (i’m a feisty one and I like that about me,)  but I felt it in my soul and then swallowed my glitzy pride. I chilled on it a second, with my non diet wine..and even though I wanted to EXPLODE….I 37 year old stopped myself. 🙂

This morning I looked down at my phone and read…

‘How’s the diva doing today?x’

‘I nearly went ‘drag queen’ ape on you..’

‘U little shit…What are u doing?’

I’ve committed to both labels...’diva’ and ‘shit’ yeah, just like that…. I’m altogether fine now.


(They say ‘i’m fine’ is the biggest lie all humans tell every single minute of every single day. I could’ve just made that up…) 

I’ve just been asked to fly to Paris, but I can’t go because my work load is intense. I’m about to start my health kick and i’m not going to find the ‘health kick’ part hard…I’m doing to find the ‘dealing with the life stress’ bit hard…and i’m gonna miss my giant cocktail slurps.

I had so much to tell you, but i have no clue where to start or what to say now, which isn’t very handy when you’re a blogger.

I’ve danced in my undies in fitting rooms. (I stated on Facebook that I wanted to see your fitting room frolics. I did mean the girls, and all in the aid of empowerment. But only boys responded… Lol….At least I didn’t get any dick pics. I actually and quite thankfully haven’t received any in ages…THAT DOESN’T MEAN I WANT ANY. Here’s a wacky concept, save them for your wives!

(All I can currently smell around me is roast dinners. Stop eating roast dinners around me. I’m about to start my diet. The middle aged lady at the opposite table needs to watch herself because I might eat HER and her dinner.)

But where was I? I danced in fitting rooms. (GIRLS SEND ME YOUR ‘FITTING ROOM’ SELFIES.) I’ve worked, worked, worked, worked and worked. I had to wake up at 3am this morning to ‘online post’ stuff, to hit the time zones. (See! Told you the graft was that easy.) I forgot to schedule a post…So I had to do it manually..I shocked myself up at 2.30am and remembered. I also blind hand patted around in the dark for wine, but couldn’t find any. I’m that much of a loser.

Ruby and I had ‘mummy night’ last night, (Junior was at Keiran’s, his Dad,) so she slept in my bed and does every Mummy night,’ as ofcourse, as always….there’s just me in it.

She must’ve been having the weirdest 2.30am dream, because still asleep she burst into a fit of mad laughter and then shouted…


Lord help me through BOTH OF THEIR teenage years. Rubes is like me, so she’s ll be fun, but fine. She’ll just cry over boys all the time. Junior is such a lad, which will be a nightmare. He is the product of two ‘wild ones.’ Only last weekend, the WONDERFUL security at The Frenchgate Centre, in Doncaster, prevented him from trying to wander off and do his own thing. They had to drag him back to Waterstones…because he was sure there was something more exciting happening around the corner.

Keiran might be a Jehovah’s Witness now, yet when I met him YEARS AND YEARS AGO, he was certainly an Ibiza party boy. (He’ll hate me putting that…But whatever…It’s the truth. 🙂 And there’s no shame in anyone’s game of story. I ain’t hating on you boy! We’re co parent an awesome son.) 

But anyway…There I was on March 7th, 2018…2.30am in the morning…in Yorkshire…

I sat up, naked, in the dark, with ‘Rocco’ my kitten and I posted this…

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Nothing is better to ME than ‘FILTHY SENTIMENTS.’ You should all know this, as I harp on about them all the time. I love how open, naughty, outspoken and fun the brand is! (With a classy twist. Like this isn’t some ‘run of the mill‘ cheapo brand. It’s so styled, so well run and each piece of ‘filth‘ is absolutely divine.)

Anyway, incase you didn’t know…I am now the PROUD OWNER of my very own bespoke ‘Filthy Sentiments’ mug…from their new neon range…

AND I F****** LOVE IT.

Yesterday, ‘Filthy Sentiments’ turned over their FIRST MILLION in sales. They’ve only been in business 3 years…and that IS HUGE, to say they specialize in ‘filthy’ gift cards, mugs, note books, pens and now pj’s. That’s not easy!

So, here I am celebrating with ‘Filthy’ because, if anything I want you to be inspired. That took a great deal of hard work. And with fun brands people don’t think that ‘hard work’ happens, because they just see the ‘fun.’

Someone somewhere, came up with an idea, probably over a drink and BOOM….a million pound later…it worked….and it’s only just the beginning.

That is what I’m celebrating!

(And I loved it because on my Insta & Facebook post this morning, I could swear like a pirate on my post.)


Get you bit of FILTH NOW!

OH NO…THE PLACE WHERE I’M BLOGGING IS NOW PLAYING SAD LOVE SONGS…I’m too emosh. It’s reminding me of ‘Dancing on Ice.’

Right now, I have a friend away filming a reality show. Lisa (as in Appleton) was also just on Jeremy Kyle with Lauren Harries this morning. My new school/old school diet and work out matey ‘Kate’ reminded me this morning. I missed it. But i’ll see it on catch up.

I love it when Lisa gets feisty.

All girls are hot when they’re feisty.

It’s important that you always stand up for what you believe is right, even when you might be moderately terrified to do so. Make sure, you’re being treated the way you want to be treated. Make sure, you are always staying LOYAL to what you believe in.

The people that give a shit, will stand by you, understand you and love you madly anyway…

Thank you for following my life…


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In the Name of James…

I’m back! Sorry! I’ve been so busy working. Luckily towards the end of the year, it all pans out beautifully and I will finally be able to delight in having more time to do what I love…which is to tell my story…and blog!

I don’t even know where I ended up last. But since then my fabulous gay friend Liam ended up on my telly and I watched him tinker his looks on ‘Body Fixers’ on E4, to change a look that the masses believed resembled ‘Alan Carr’ to just ‘Being Liam.’ The thing about Liam (and I am quite close to him) is that he is a really talented entertainer. He plays it down well. But when I once went to watch him do his Cabaret type shimmies in Blackpool, I was astounded at how talented an entertainer he actually is. I guess, it’s always a surprise when people play things down. But as we know. I adore a talented human. It doesn’t matter what they do, I’m delighted by talented beings.

Anyway, on Monday, he invited me down to Viva Blackpool to be part of raising awareness and raising funds for the James Bulger Memorial Trust. It’s a charity really close to my heart, as being a Mum…I honestly can’t imagine how Denise (who is the mother of little James Bulger,) not only stays so strong, yet has managed to turn her personal experience, that the ENTIRE world would regards as heart breakingly tragic, into something so selfless and positive, in order to help others who may go through the same. I met Denise that night and she beamed at me with a smile and a warmth that was nothing short of true compassion and strength. It was such an honour. It was humbling.

The event was star studded! I’m a huge music fan. I’m a huge musical theatre fan also. So a gigantic show was put on, filled with the most heart racing talent…I mean I watched Lydia Lucy from The Voice (words cannot even describe how amazing her voice is), Connor Mckenna from Pitch Battle, Gary Barker who is currently on this years XFactor and The Jersey Boys, who you can’t help but fancy…You couldn’t even pick one NOT TO FANCY! Those boys can harmonize around me ANYTIME, in those fitted red blazers and squeezy tight dress trousers.  It was just a star studded swirl of Viva magic…Dinner, drinks…and an ambience that sizzled with life, love and sequins. (I totally had Pina Coladas. It felt very Pina Coladary.)

Anyway, the trek to Blackpool (even though I’m Northern) seems quite lengthy, it took hours. But I ended up getting there in time, working out on the promenade and dolling up to glamour puss in it in the name of James Bulger.

I was meeting Lisa (as in Appleton) there, who I’ve known for quite a long time now. In 2009, we were on TV shows at the same time, so we also know the same people. (We all did the circuit at that time) I am actually really good friends with Rex who was trapped in the Big Brother House with her during that time.

Her tyre busted en route to the event, so she ended up being late, so I totally stole her room at the New Osbourne, which was beautiful and laden with fluffy fresh sheets, champagne and a teddy bear! I know! How cute. I love it there. The service is impeccable. I’m a service girl. 😉

But when she arrived, and ‘Aaron the Pap’ had *papped* away during our entrance, we had the best time ever.

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We’re both Northern, we both know fun and how to have it,  we’re both the type of gals who see life as the ‘big picture.’ I remember speaking to her in the loos, as she produced a sassy bottle of cider from her handbag. (You know you’re northern when that happens.) Infact she chose the size of her handbag based upon it’s ability to hold cider. Lol. Anyway, the thing about Lisa is that she’ll talk about anything openly and I love that about her. She’s a really good soul and a person that never takes advantage of anyone. She’s giving. She gentle. But certainly not a push over. I like her a lot…and she delights in my glamorous HONESTY. 🙂 I had some of that cider and laughed along with her. I mean, a lot of people say a lot about her. She’s in the press almost every day. Yet when she’s 80, she’ll be able to look back upon her time and laugh, knowing that she lived and that she had the best time on Earth ever.

Liam, Lisa & Ryan Mira (who is her PR,) infact the lot of them…all shimmied off to ‘Peek a Boo’s’ after the event for a night of absolute ‘Drag Queen ‘ debauchery. I love a Queen. I used to ‘Piggy Back’ them outside The Abbey in LA, in my 20’s. Useful form of transport really. I was dating one of the bartenders at the time…and it was strange because my ‘Queen’ transport fancied him too. Lol. My transport secretly hated me. I thought she was a bit whippy around the corners.

As per usual, like everyone does, they tried to make me ‘Peek a Boo’ it with them, with a ‘We’re only going to be another hour, come on!’ (I’m lame now. I love to do cocktails etc and wink the night in luxury and glamourousity…But I don’t stay out. I like to go home, go back to the hotel and just go to bed or chill. Lol. I’m awful for it. Even my friends know…Once i’m done…and it’ll always be earlier than everyone else…I’ll just leave to put my comfies on.  Haha.)

Yet away from that, I’m so wise to the ‘we’re only gunna be’ line, that I should have it embroided onto my frillies.

Straight away I called my own taxi back to The New Osborne, because I knew I had a really early start in the morning and had to be up and on a six o clock train to Leeds for work. I went to bed around midnight….Snapchatted everything. Set my alarm for five o clock in the morning….(I kinda woke up every hour and didn’t sleep that well. But you do don’t you, when you know you’re away from home and need to be somewhere early. When you need to catch trains and all that jizzle.)

AAAANNNNNYWAY….Team ‘We’re only going to be an hour’ ROCKED BACK TO THE HOTEL at FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING, as my ALARM went off for ‘Wake Up.’

It actually sounded like they had the best time…They were laughing out loud and I was sliding out of my fluffy sheets with this random teddy bear, to get showered and do my face, after a nights sleep.

I was at the station and on the train as soon as their heads hit a pillow. Ofcourse my train got cancelled and I had to get on the 7.11am one instead, so I just sat, on my own, at a train station in Blackpool at six o clock in the morning chilling….

By 9am, I was back in Leeds and off to work. Lol.

I actually scrolled through Twitter quickly and saw that we were in The Mirror… and infact the Daily Star…

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Great times! Good fun! Amazing people. And more than anything, an evening dedicated to such an important and such a good good cause, the James Bulger Memorial Trust!

My heart honestly goes out to all Mums, children and families, who are going through or have been through the same….There was a lot of talent there and the place was celeb packed, but what an absolute honour to meet Denise Fergus, (James’ Mum) who couldn’t be a more positive soul. Watching her strength, gives you an immediate reality check and inspires you to reunite with your own inner Hero.



Blackpool, Celeb Makeup Masterclasses & Life

Literally living the most amazing chapter right now, that is sprinkled in hard work, sponged with laughter, dashed with great friendships and glitter snowballed into good times. The energy in Wunna land is currently so positive it’s *beaming.* I’m feeling on top of the world. And yes, i’ve been busy and there have been moments where in which i’ve thrown myself a tiny ‘pity party’ in order to vent out my due shatteredness. And yes, i’m doing ‘baby step’ well and I’ve had to make certain sacrifices for it. However, as long as you’re always loyal to your own kitty beliefs, be it in love, work or play…they you’re always doing well. It’s your life. Live it and do it the exact way you want to. Know that there are consequences to everything action you make when it comes to the art of ‘making impact,’ or ‘living’ and as long as you can either *shrug* them off in Versace or handle them with a *wink,* then Dolly you are dandy. Go for it!

So, what have I been up to?

I still haven’t fallen in love or managed to go on a date. I’ve had ‘London Business Man’ message me, yet I haven’t had time to reply. I will go catch up drinks with him, as his soul is good. But like i said, ambition has got the better of me and work has zoomed into the ‘Priority lane.’ I’ve had a guy that I was talking to before, months and months ago now, who is the hot PE teacher from Malta (also had a moment where he shimmied on the telly, I used to chatter about him before briefly, yet ‘Eton Mess’ got the better of me and well the PE teacher didn’t like me that much anyway then.) He send me a message last night. Again, i haven’t had time to reply. I’ve noticed that the better I do in work and the more attention i gain, more boys who are dipped in ambition come tapping at my inbox. However, the better I do…the less needy for love I become. Lol. Catch twenty two and absolute GIRL POWER is occurring. Like I said my dream man will find me and just like that…he will. We’ll meet. We’ll feel something. Then with a *click of the gel nailed fingers* well decide to do ‘team.’ For me..that’s how it works. I am turned on by action, and anything that is a long drawn out process in love bores me. Yet i’m traditional by manner, so i’d expect him to make the initial move. I mean, how hard can it be to just say,

‘Hey, d’ya wanna grab a drink?’

I’m a functioning alcoholic. I’ll drink with you any time. 🙂

So away from that! I’ve been spinning plates. My parents are away doing Burma for my Mums birthday. I’m on constant daily work mode, yet at the same time travelling around for appearances, events and blogs…I’m also, at the same time organising Ruby and Junior to make sure i’m still doing the school runs and that they’re feeling emotionally adored. And they are! My life isn’t easy. But i love it. I’m the chick that gets things done and right now my hard work is paying off. Once i’m sitting in a ‘pretty kitty’ position where I can breathe, chill by my pool, with my morning mimosa and slow motion *hair toss* on cue, as Wunna land works for me and realise that ‘I’ve come a long way’ then I’ll have a bit of a rest. 🙂

In entertainment, marketing or the business of ‘show,’ people work HARD. So do not underestimate how HARD the industry is. Yet the positive ones with plans, are the ones who cultivate those great relationships and stability. Yet it’s also important to keep your eye on the prize. Even though i’ll go out and maybe get *papped*(which, i’m not gonna lie HELPS to gain attention)…I know where my work is and that’s here on this blog… I don’t let the brief moment of *pap…pap* get the better of me. I’m here to tell the story of my life…and in this chapter…showbiz seems to be part of it. Lucky really, as it came out of nowhere. (After I had planned it. 🙂 )

The other day, felt like the busiest day of my life. I almost lost my swiggedy…which is my word for ‘swag.’ I did the nursery and school runs. I then had a Viking Fm blast and promoted a bit of Gino D’Acampos new restaurant chain, I then rushed over to go hang out with ‘Take Me Out’ Nick Knight, who I know anyway, infact I’ve him known for years. We chattered at his home about EVERYTHING and after we judged people, talked about his weird fascination of saucy ginger chicks, we laughed out loud and I watched him almost do a sick after smelling a fresh cat poo. Then after work chatter…he did the washing up and I left to venture off to Blackpool, via Manchester.

(During this middle time, I did an audition also. But that’s a secret.)

I was already running late and trying to get ready. I was dashing about madly in heels, squeezing into leather skirts, spraying hair and trying to do up pinstripe shirts over boobies. (Pinstripe shirts are my favourite thing to wear.) Swearing and no wine happened at this point and i think that if i had wine…i wouldn’t have been so fucked off. Lol. I’m a glamour puss, I HATE TO RUSH. I like to do everything gracefully and ON TIME. I don’t like being late to anything, it winds me up. But rushing around without a plan, devastates me.

I Snapchatted all the stress, if you haven’t added me, you should, as I seem to *snap* stuff more than anything right now, but yes I swore a lot, but got on that train…ON TIME! 🙂 With an Echo falls train wine. 🙂 I was also forced to do a wee in a grubby train loo and nothing makes me weep more, simply because I stand by the fact that toilets ANYWHERE in ANY ENVIRONMENT even Zoo’s should be kept sparkling. Train loos are yucky and whilst you’re sat down on then with your thong down by your ankles, you’re terribly unstable and sort of unsteadily wibbling along…Grubby train loo’s are Hell on Earth.

I finally got to Leeds, then to Blackpool via Manchester and in that time I was still rushing about as I seemed to have so much to organise. It’s literally non stop. My inbox was filling up with meeting opportunities, brands that wanted to collaborate an dick pics. Then i realised that I hadn’t turned my notifications off…and I don’t like to incase someone I might fancy 🙂 or want to meet for work sends me a message. Lol. I had over 40,000 new, unread messages to my inbox, that i hadn’t managed get through so far. That was my train journey.

So, the reason why I was headed to Blackpool was because I had been invited to attend the Celeb Makeup Masterclass with Sean Maloney at House of Halteres. I was headed there to meet Liam Halewood, who I’ve spoken about before…he had a stint on the Xfactor.Xtra Factor as Tranny Minogue and I was also meeting the gorgeous Celeb Blogger Ryan Mira and Lisa…as in Appleton, who we know has the press all over her right now.

Now, i know Lisa and God she’s great fun. We’re both great fun and when we get together we almost have to attempt to ‘rein in’ being idiots, for a bit of the ‘look at me.’ It’s not easy. But what an I say, it’s hard for fun girls to be gracious at times, as we’re loosely moralled about most things and too cheeky to be too serious. Fun girl. I hope she gets everything she wants.

I will say that when she walked around the corner, of an Italian restaurant where she had been doing pasta with Ryan, to meet Liam and I in the car (and note Aaron the ‘Pap’ Photographer was already there waiting, I had already been *papped,*) that was the first time i looked at her and said out loud to Liam,

‘GOD! SHE LOOKS LIKE A STAR!’ And she did. That night, there was a *GLOW* about her, like she’d taken the next step up the ladder and she’s going through a lot right now that most wouldn’t know about. Fun girl, great laugh, so soft, yet ambitious. However again, do not underestimate how hard she has to work. All anyone sees is a picture of her taking out the bins in her undies in The Sun and straight away the comments fly with judgement. YET, if you were to actually know her, you would adore her. I think she’s great anyway, however from a work, showbizzy side, I get it and I understand how it all, which means i understand her and really that’s all it takes. I’m actually pretty impressed at how far she’s come. When we had a chat later over Prosecco, she looked at me and said,

‘I know why Paris would like you. You’re very tell it how it is. You’re very fun.’

Meaning…there’s a mutual respect going down.

So, we get to House of Halteres and we’re a bit late, which we all hate, none of us like lateness. Britain’s Got Talent had been going on all night in Blackpool and we’re getting *papped/papped/papped* outside by Aaron the celebrity photographer. We’re playing up to it, we’re loving it and we’re eager to get inside and see what makeup tips Sean Maloney has to teach us, as BOY do I need makeup tips. The busier i’m getting the less time i’m having to primp. IT KILLS MY SOUL! Lol.

Fabulous night filled with champagne flutes, canapes, good bags and celebs. At first we were in a back room because we were being noisy and well…we were really hungry. I hadn’t managed to git in eating all day. So we thought that we’d let the people who were taking the masterclass, do it undisturbed at first, as lets face it, we’re distracting and I’m a fidget bum.

In a back room we all Tweeted, Snapchatted, videoed each other and caught up on the gossip. Ryan and I are by nature naughty, so we’ll just do whatever we want…and did, hence why our Snapchat videos were on point. I kept chanting

‘Ryyyyaaan, ohohoh…..RYAAAAaaaaaAAAN!’ (Whilst slut dropping)

And he kept singing,

‘W’w’ You Wunna.. Wunna…W’w..You Wunna Wunna?’ (Whilst slut dropping.)

Then we all slagged people we didn’t like off, ate some crisps, Liam took selfies, Ryan and I played and wink, Lisa had work messages to tend to on her phone and then we all went in to be part of the Celeb Makeup Masterclass.

AMAZING. SEAN IS AMAZING. I need to have him with me constantly! I don’t know how he does what he does, but he could make look like a gem with a few quick brush flicks. HE IS GODLY!

I was actually explaining to Lisa that Paris has a makeup artist by her side constantly called Fredrick. He’s little, Asian and amazing. He literally covers up any tiny imperfections as she simply does…existing. Lol. I took Fredrick out to GAY once in London, during free time on a massive glamour puss, piss up. He needed it, he works hard.


But yes, House of Halteres was filled with bright glamourous makeup studio lights, top brands, good bags, life and crowns. A girl was there who won a Miss Teen competition and everyone (as in from our bunch) kept grabbing her crown of her and posing in it. The poor little Miss Teen was so stressed out, because if this crown actually broke, she’d be in MASSIVE TROUBLE. (Couldn’t even get it off Ryan and Lisa’s heads. Lol)

I didn’t try it on. I don’t need a crown to tell me i’m a QUEEN. 🙂

Now, my evening was fabulous but short lived, as I had been working all day, at the Celeb Makeup Masterclass all night, I had travelled, I had taken mental blog notes, made sure the kids were fine, messaged all my work contacts and pouted and posed for Paparrazzi shots. WHICH IS VITAL, when you are in entertainment and you have something to promote.

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However, i had to get straight back for work in the morning. I had already MISSED the train I needed to be on. So as we left and Lisa, Ryan and Liam headed off to see a fortune teller and as Aaron *papped* them, I was dropped off at the train station to make my journey home. It was hilarious as at one point there was Lisa Appleton, Ryan Mira, Liam Halewood and I all rammed into the a little red corsa. I loved it! Hahahaha.


I’m there looking line a glamour puss in Blackpool, as every single train got cancelled and the one i eventually got on, broke down.

I FINALLY ENDED UP at Manchester Piccadilly Station about 2 hours later..from BLACKPOOL.. which isn’t very far at all…ON MY OWN, at midnight, with a bunch of angry people and a bunch of ‘getting arrested people’ as I waited for my next train, which was at ONE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING. I know!  So whilst you were all tucked up in bed. I was stood, in glamour bits, at Manchester Piccadilly FREEZING my lashes off. 🙂 *Cue Pity Party.*

When the train drama died down, as everyone was cross that they hadn’t managed to get on a train home and had to ‘bus’ it. The train station was quiet, empty, almost like a shell and there was just me. I had an hour to kill and lonely Platform 14. Everything had closed. There were literally just security guys and cleaners were around me, making sure i was okay every 3 minutes. The place was deserted and it’s in that time, when you’re on your own that you think.

I’ve been working really hard and i’ve not necessarily  been keeping it balanced. I’ve had a lot of fun. Yet it’s still work. To get to where i want to be, I have to thunder forward. But i don’t like boring train stations at 1am in the morning that are empty. It makes you feel empty. I kept looking at tall Manchester apartment buildings and wondering what the people who still had their lights on were doing? Everything went from so busy to DEAD. It was bitter sweet.

My train came, I got back to Leeds at 2am. A good friend of mine ‘Christian’ (as i’m ace at cultivating relationships) came to pick me up at 2am from Leeds train station to make sure that I got home safely and so i didn’t have to take a dodgy taxi. I couldn’t thank him enough. It really did take off a lot of pressure. It was the kindest thing ever. I appreciated it massively. I mean who would do that for someone? Well..I would.

I got home at 2.19am…Fell asleep at 3am.

Got up for work the next morning at 7am.


Watch this space! Here I come.

Next morning,

We were in the…


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Busy Times, Balance, Good News & Stress

Busy day, so busy that it sort of border lined on the edge of stressy. I stayed positive through it all because let’s face it, I don’t have it bad and nor do I ever partake in letting stress get the better of my kitten self. However, on the whole, I just believe that things should be dealt with positively, as stressy manners are ungraceful. It can turn ‘pretties’ into animals with a quick dash. When it comes to love or life, taking educated baby steps seems to always work and keep you out of trouble. So, to those of you who are fumbling through mayhem, be it physical, mental, emotional or financial…work smart and not hard, that is the key to all success. Yet makes sure that everything you are giving is of value…then of course have a rummy cocktail and share the positive glow with others. I mean, fuck it form a joyous conga line and you know how much I hate conga lines. They always seem so awkward at the end, when the fun is drizzling out and people don’t know if the ‘conga’ part of the line is still going or has come to an ‘everyones gone to the bar instead’ end? Plus when your eyes follow down the line, you will notice that everyone isn’t really having fun. They’re sort of just ‘going through the motions’ and pretending that good times are occurring. Honestly, watch one closely, it’s only the one at the front of the line that is actually have an ‘arms up and everything’ blast.

A lot has happened today, people suffered from ‘Blue Monday,’ other’s bought rose gold candle holders, some thought that chicken and bacon toasties lessened in calories if they were microwaved and my other chick friend, who is of an extreme girly nature, was FORCED TO DRIVE a giant yellow ROOFING VAN to work, after reading a note that said,

‘I’ve gone to work without you, but left you the van.’ 

All i heard as she burst through the door was..

‘Chrissie! It’s digusting! I’m driving a giant yellow van and it’s filled with bits of food, cigarette buds and all kinds of crap. I’M HAVING TO DRIVE THAT AROUND.’

I pissed myself laughing simply because it’s not every day you get to make like you’re a glammy roofing service.

‘Hey, I wear heels and can fix roofs and shit.’

However, I will tell you that I am a GERMAPHOBE! I would’ve literally DIED if I had to drive in a ‘bits of food everywhere’ van. I’d have to close my eyes and not touch anything, which would be rather awkward when trying to operate a moving vehicle. The van and I would have to contemplate one another’s existence and it’s a simple fact, we just wouldn’t get along.

‘Drive me!’

‘You’re mucky!’

Okay, away from that, I am mentally busy as well as physically busy. I’m going through ‘ups and downs’ that i’m choosing to worry about. Yippee! Lol. I need to chillax a bit instead of stressing my glamourous self out. I’m hoping for the best and expecting nothing. But yes, I need to worry less about the things that I can’t control. Once you’ve batted that glitter ball out of the ball park, you’ve just got to let it fly until someone jumps and *catches* it.

HOWEVER, along with the stress, i’ve blessed with a balance of really great news. I’ve received some wonderful emails today, that have again ‘shimmied me up rung’ that little bit higher. And to be fair, there was more great news, than ‘blue’ news…so on the whole, I’ve done pretty well. I always think it’s important to notice your personal ‘achievements’ (and it’s hard when you’re highly ambitious) because your goals are so far stretched. But if you can’t *pat* YOURSELF on the back once in a while, then your soul is never satisfied and to me… that’s highly unattractive. Be ambitious, but smell the roses.

I have a few things coming up this week. I’m setting up for a Chrissie Wunna ‘Cocktail Tour.’ There’s more about that later and you’ll hear about it, because i’ll force it upon you. 🙂 but basically there are now so many places that are inviting me over to ‘tinker’ that I might as well go on tour. But i’m not stupid, at least it’s a tour where I can get …pissed. 🙂 The good thing about this tour,  is that you will have the opportunity to join me…as days out with moi, are going to be up for grabs.

I have a few interviews with magazines that ‘wave the flag’ for the things that I love and represent. I’m getting booked up and i’m getting booked up fast and for some reason i’m not able to keep up with my social media? It’s hard, as when you’re busy, finding time to constantly post ain’t easy. You’re my audience and my current success has been frisbeed from both the ‘social’ world and all things Cyberland. I owe you everything. I never take ti for granted. So yes, I need to post more socially.

On Wednesday I’m headed to a Celebrity Makeup Masterclass and I’m going to be finding time to hang out with the lovely Lisa Appleton and Liam Halewood, who I did Blackpool with last week, as we comitted time to Mexican cocktail

Lisa’s just got back from Spain, after holidaying with my other buddy Mark Byron. (I’ve just seen the pictures of it all in the Daily Mail today and it just makes me giggle. Lord knows what those two got up to, on Spanish soil as they are literally the funnest people that I have ever encountered. If they see a ‘good time,’ they will go forth and embrace it.)

But yes, I have a lot to tell you however I can’t do it now.

Life has changed fast.

I love you…I’ll chat tomorrow.

(I’ve just recieved a whatsapp message…?’ )

London Business Man: ‘You’ve forgotten about me.’




My Birthday Shimmie To Manchester


Woke up on December 20th at 6.08am, completely naked, on top of the sheets, half my face on and my GIANT, glammy hair piece still ON MY HEAD in full glory, like it was some kinda of BIRTHDAY crown. I was in Room 825 (really nice room) of the Macdonald Manchester Hotel and Spa. I had just turned THIRTY SIX the day before and I chose to do it with good friends Big Brother Star Lisa Appleton and Celebrity Blogger, Ryan Mira, in Manchester. I had a train to catch, that would get me back to Leeds, well Pontefract at 6.57am. I had work at 8.45am and had to get there on time. I did it! But Lord knows how???  Infact, i will ALWAYS MAKE WORK, no matter how! My tummy felt like i hadn’t eaten in ages, so i did a mini (and somewhat glamourous puke) on the hotel bed (so sorry)…and then just like that, got up, got ready, got to Piccadilly train station and got on my flipping train….COMPLETELY ON TIME! In my mind, if you’re gonna *juggle* things, than you better *juggle* them well, without letting anyone down and most importantly … yourself. I smashed it! *Wiggle…Wink.*

But let’s rewind to the day before…

I had spent the entire day with my babies Ruby and Junior, doing lunch with my family…My Mum, Dad &Brother at Ego, In Ackworth. We had so much fun, that time flew and before you know it, I was rushing home to pack a bag, in a panic and getting dashed off and dropped at Barnsely train station (as it was the only station to get me to Manchester on time) in literally moments.

Boom! On a train. The 17.00 to Manchester, a bit flustered, excited for my birthday evening, ready to check into the hotel and then rush into a taxi, to go meet Lisa and Ryan at Menagerie for my birthday.

Once I hit Manchester, I had about 20 minutes to get ready and be at the joint. (I was there early. 😉  The trainee hotel ‘check in’ girl laughed as I dashed past her with a ‘She’s just checked in, in jeans and a jumper and in about a minute, she’s ready and shooting out the door dressed like Pussycat Doll.’

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I’ll fast forward, so i don’t bore you.

But i got to Menagerie, Lisa and Ryan arrived 10 minutes after me. I had called them to see how far they were, then..

*Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/* …

…as photographers basically took our picture, as we tottered into the new place. It was quiet because it was Monday. But it was my birthday and all three of us are of a drunky, fun, nature, so we didn’t even care! Within seconds we had the most delicious Pornstar Martini’s in our hands and we’re chatting away about, life, career, love, what we hoped and where we hoped, in the most glamourous location every. We even had a Kardashian conversation, which led to Ryan teaching me what a dirty ‘Jimmy Choo’ was. Lol.

‘I’m gonna call it that ALL the time now!’ Lol.

‘But she did Chrissie. She *Jimmy Chooed* him ans leaked it everywhere!’

Menagerie is utterly creative, decadent, modern, with an almost sexy twist of burlesque. It’s very current. But there’s lots going on…like champagne poured from chandeliers, dancers dangling and spinning in hoops above your table, cocktails that you share in giant swans for £100 or single drinks with fake £20 notes, burning from them. It’s very clever. Everything is presented well. Everything’s very bouji and unique. Everything in that place is ‘rich,’…and it costs.

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Anyway, we a needed air, we needed a moment. We’d laughed, gossiped, they gave me a bath bomb (that i’ve lost!! I think i left it in a bar on Canal Street??) Ryan’s shot outside already and Lisa and I are stood at the entrance Menagerie.

Couldn’t open the door for shit! It was LOCKED. Like it really was. We couldn’t move it, we were stuck and we’re sort of just looking around, trapped in this little entrance way, puzzled and laughing. Then Lisa decides to ‘hit’ a button on the side, next to the door. Y’know how some places have a ‘Press to Exit’ button, to make the door slowly ease open.


It’s my birthday, we’re still trapped in the entrance way, an alarm is now going off, we’re pissing ourselves laughing, the manager on duty looked all fed up with us, so we stopped laughing, so he didn’t get more annoyed. He began opening up a large doorway box and pressing all the buttons in all the land, to stop the alarm…and then this host girl walks up to the door… and just opens it. Lol. SO we weren’t even stuck. 🙂 Oops!

We were glad to get outside though, especially after Pornstar Martini’s  and were determined to enjoy my birthday night, as we swung around trees, piggy backed each other, kissed giant Polar Bears, seductively chatted up bollards and measured boobie sizes. Ryan got really into it also…As Lisa and I literally danced around a car park, HE found a ‘Santa Stop Here’ sign, started pretend hitting Lisa with it, but then dashed behind her and unzipped the back of her PVC skirt…. (In that moment, out of nowhere *Pap/Pap/Pap/Pap/*)

Anyway, we decide to go back inside for food and more cocktails. Ryan’s now flirting with an Australian Waiter, with a Doctor Boyfriend, we’re telling everyone to come out with us and following them on Twitter (you always do that when you’re pissed don’t you. Lol.) I hadn’t eaten all evening, so i was feeling MERRY, looking great, sprinkled in ‘SEXY’ and then Lisa and I started talking about love, our lives, how we’re both single, good friends and then our careers. (I always say that I have it easy, as my life is an open book, you just have to Google it, open up a blog and read on…What you read is what I am…It’s my life…and you get a good grasp of who I am from it. There’s less guessing.)

And you know, away from what people THINK they may know of Lisa, if you were to know her and meet her in the flesh, she’s literally beautiful, the funniest, most genuine, down to earth, chick you’ll ever meet. But she’s ambitious and hard working. Yes, she’s an entertainer…as am I. Yet she’s been through her fair share of hard times…and you know what, after speaking to her so closely sat down with cocktails, in the middle of mood lighting and Menagerie…She deserves her moment. We gossiped about everything frankly. All the secrets in all the land.  She wants to do well…and is.

Then I had to tell her off with an..

‘EWW NO! YOU CAN’T FANCY HAIRY MEN! I HATE THAT! IT’S GROSS!’ (This was after the waiter was referred to as ‘Pretty.’)

Now, i don’t mind a GQ gent. A pretty one. Or one that has his own creative take on style. I love it. My favourite type of guy, is a guy with a great mind, intelligent, funny, fun, thoughtful, sexy and ambitious. I don’t focus on looks a much as people may think. I love eye candy, don’t get me wrong, but i’m mostly mentally and emotionally stimulated. But ofcourse, I love to feel attracted to a guy. YET Lisa loves a ‘mans, mans.’ A big rugged, muscle bound hero. Hairy even!!! Lol. I DON’T LIKE HAIRY. And i know you can’t help it. But i can’t help being a tool also, so there. 🙂

So we’re pissing ourselves laughing with Ryan, as we’re sat in a GIANT GLAMOUROUS BIRDCAGE, that has feathers entwined in it and pretend birds flying out of it, opposite a wall that has a giant electronic ‘Selfie Magic Mirror’ and a pink neon sign that says something like ‘Trade your wings in for mine.’ We’re eating olives and sipping ‘Pornstars’ and Lisa and I are actually having a conversation about porn and how it’s ruined some peoples sex lives.

Now i’m vocal in the bedroom, i’m a senusual person and well i’m not screamy, but a ‘show man’ Lol. However, Lisa says we (as in girls) get the best orgasms when we’re quiet and stay really still… and she’s right. I mean porn has made boys and men think that girls ‘get off’ by doing slutty ‘ooh’ faces at them and voicing champion ‘screeches.’ Lol. We don’t. 🙂

Wait, I’m getting distracted. 😉

We’re in Menagerie, the mood lighting is all pink, purple and dark, with bright white furniture in our booth and we’re now pissed and celebrating my birthday.

Ryan’s now thinking about Canal street, after flirting with the hot waiter. Lisa’s determined to get on with my birthday celebrations and i’m ‘Pornstar Martini’ delighted. Don’t get me wrong, things were beautiful in Menagerie, but when you’re sat in one place for ages, and you’re ‘firecrackers’ like the three of us are…it can kinda make a place feel ‘flat.’ So i simply turned my little kitten head to them, whilst sat in a bloody feathered birdcage (lol) and said,

‘Let’s fuck it off and go to canal street.’  (I am the Queen)

There was glint in our eye, laughter and we left.

As we left…and we’re NOW DRUNKIES.


Yet, we’re loving it now, playing up to it, picking each other up, posing, pouting, swearing, dancing. We didn’t even care! We were on birthday mode, doing Manchester, boobies under the stars and GOING FOR IT! If i’m turning thirty six, i’m lucky to be well, alive and still be able to love life!

It was like we almost *blinked* and BOOM, we were on the cobbles of Canal street…and this is when the fun happened!

Straight away, dancing under lights, posing and selfie taking with red sequinned, drag queens,bumping into other Big Brother stars, letting a Drag queen, dressed in a Sexy Santa Suit, be a DIVA  at us because she didn’t have time for our shit. Lol.

We’ve gone for it now and ended up at some bar called Churchills, because they offered us free wine (lol) and before you know it, they’re calling us on stage to sing karaoke and I feel like i sort of just blinked with my boobies and i’m stood on a stage with Lisa, as Ryan is filming it, with a microphone in my hand, SINGING ‘Wannabe’ by the fucking Spice girls, for an audience. LOL.

Honestly, we were shite. But oh my God, we gave it some welly. They loved us. Everyone was videoing and camera phoning the moment. We even got called ‘Iconic.’ HAHAHAHA. But let me tell you, being a Spice Girl is EXHAUSTING. How the HELL Mel B got through that rap section sober, I don’t know? (I was totally Mel B. 🙂 )

We get off the stage. We’re wanting wine, everyone else is wanting selfies. We’re loving it though, as we now have birthday fever. Girls and guys kept calling me ‘beautiful’ and ‘a Queen’ and when you’re dead old, you kinda adore it, don’t you. 🙂 Hahaha! It makes you feel good.

Then a group of straight boys come in. It’s now quite late and Ryan and Lisa have to head home to get the last train. I DECIDE TO STAY OUT. So, i’m now on my own, with the masses, in this bar on Canal Street, guzzling buckets of wine, with a ton of people now asking for selfies and the ‘straight ‘ boys head straight over and begin to DANCE OFF, HIT ON ME, in order to win my ‘only girl straight girl in the bar’ affection. It got so crazy that the manager had to keep pulling me out the way, or pulling them off me.

I then started having a conversation with a girl, as one guy is trying to flirt with me, by sexy dancing to Nelly and lifting up his top …and out of nowhere this other guy, darted in and started butting the ‘Nelly Dancing Guy’ out of the way to make HIS move. He was literally standing right infront of my face and giving me the ‘come ons.’ The manager (who was in a cowboy hat Lol…pulled me away again.)

I’m pissed by now, so i’m just tottering around smiling and selfie taking with those who adore Wunna land! (I followed you on Twitter Mickey Daniels! 🙂 )

Then it all just went mental!

The straight boys are now really drunk and now forcing themselves into Wunna land. A girl starts chatting to me and tells one of the boys, who’s asking me out that..

‘We’re together. She’s with me.’ 

He dances off somewhere and she turns around and says,

‘You’re too good for him.’ 

He dances his way back and then JESUS CHRIST, OUT OF NOWHERE, some other straight guy, that wasn’t even playing ‘Love Wunna,’ comes up behind him and fricking HITS HIM IN THE FACE and SMASHES A FUCKING BOTTLE OVER HIS HEAD.

Screaming happens, everything’s gone mental. He’s dragged him outside to beat him up. The girl that was ‘saving’ me from men, turns around and smashes my wine bottle on the BAR SIDE to go out and join the fight.

I’m out the way at this point, as i’ve been pushed to one side and sheltered.

THE POLICE CAME and Churchills (the bar) gets shut down for the rest of the evening,

What the absolute fuck!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED???

The cowboy dressed manager, (who was also once on Big Brother) walks up to me, makes sure i’m alright and says,

‘God! Lol! What a storm. We shouldn’t have let them in really, but we did. We’ve had to close now, as the police are here and let me tell you, THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED, IN THE HISTORY OF ME WORKING HERE.’

Then she walked me out, to another bar. Just so i’d get there safely. Lol. Yet after a drink, I left and got in a taxi. It was just too strange and a guy in a Pokeman shirt was dancing around me. He as with his Ozzie best friend, who kept telling me that she had a boyfriend, but wouldn’t say no to trying out a relationship with a girl.  Lol. They were actually lovely. So i really shouldn’t make fun of them. But i was tired now and i’d stopped having fun now, so i lied and said i needed the loo…and left them.

Got to my hotel…wiped half my face off, stripped off totally starkers, put my phone on charge, set it for five o clock in the morning, (It was 3 o clock in the morning,) and CRASHED in what felt like the comfiest bed known to mankind, in Room 825 at the Macdonald Manchester Hotel.

Missed my alarm. Shocked myself up, after feeling sick at 6.08am. 

That’s how i sailed into Tuesday. I fell asleep on my train and again just at the right time, *shocked* myself up, at the exact right station, just as people were getting off at Leeds. Missed my connection though, so I ended up in a taxi to the office.

Made it to work, bang on time, in Pontefract. Had no clue what time it was really? But ran up to the office door, with all my stay over bags, over my shoulders. I swung open the door a jar and ‘The Mighty’ looked me right in the eyes, smirked (like she had ‘been there’ herself) and in a stern, commanding, yet friendly manner, she simply says…



Lisa Appleton flashes her bum as the zip breaks on her skin tight PVC skirt