Let’s Get a Bit Inspirational….& Pervy :)

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I’ve just got out of an audition, so I’m all pumped and juiced. I love auditioning. I find it really fun. When I was a kid in LA, I used to be terrified, when it came to ‘audition’ day. Yet, after only a few weeks, my friends and I found that we were on around 4 auditions a day, all over LA, for all different shows. I remember, I had The OC, ER, Charmed & A Glamour Magazine, in one day. My other friend had Will & Grace, What I like about you, The OC & CSI. And we’d be dashing through Hollywood, with our ‘sides’ (that’s what you call your audition script) making sure we were prepared and not late. I didn’t really have time to be nervous anymore. Nerves were a waste of time. I had one shot. One read. That read could end up booking me that job. It could change your life. And it did.

I’m back in the UK though now. Have been for years and I’m loving it. The last audition I went on. I booked it. That will air shortly. I did one this morning and loved it, so we’ll see how that goes.

You’ve godda give it you’re all. And I never care what anyone thinks. I’ll go for it.

I mean what’s the point in moaning about getting work, staying in work or whatever else it is you can muster, if you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.

Anything can happen at anytime. More people need to believe that.

If you don’t think so ,you’ve lost FAITH IN YOURSELF. and you shouldn’t because you’re beautiful. No one can do YOUR VERSION of life better than you. I say it all the time. Don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else is up too. Concentrate on your life, your game, your passion, your strut and go back and get everything that they said you couldn’t have!

I was so excited to perv on Love Island, Adam last night, that my excitement got the better of me, I ran out of excited energy and fell asleep after an exciting garden wine. I’m so shit at being a perv. I mean , If I can’t even do that, then Lord Help my rotten soul. Being a perv is such a brilliant ‘old school’ past time. It’s easy.

Couldn’t do it for toffee though could I!

I’m actually loving Dr.Alex now on Love Island, because I’m feeling really bad for him. I hate that people keep treating hi shitty. But i’m sure the magical world of TV has something up their delicious, no scripted lol, sleeve.

WHOOOPPPPEE!

Whatelse? Oh yeah, some maungy girl, sent me an evil message today and insulted my boobies. Don’t bother. Be smarter. Pick anything but the boobies, because they’re obviously such a ‘Chrissie Wunna‘ strength. A weapon. They’re lethal, with googly eyes on. They drink shots and hypnotize folk. Do your boobs do that? No. Exactly.

So, be smart enough to say I have shit feet or something. It would’ve made me cry, into my prosecco, for a good half a second.

YAWN!

I’m at a wedding on Saturday, so I’m really excited for that. Definitely don’t have a dress. Definitely going to end up leaving it to the last minute. But I fancy wearing lemon. Not A LEMON…as that would just be awkward.

‘Chrissie, why have you come as a piece of fucking fruit?’

In Summer, lemon is my favourite colour. I also like boys who can totally rock pink. But do it so well, that it makes all the girls dribble.

I hope my audition went well? I need something to eat now.

My friend ‘Trigg‘ sent me a message yesterday, apologizing for working so much etc etc…People don’t need to say sorry for doing life or their choices. But when you’re a grown up and working so much, you’re loaded with stress by the buckets on occasion and it’s hard to make time for people isn’t it?

I totally get that. I have the same problem. And our lives are manic. We’ll get around to a catch up.

Yet for those of you, who maybe don’t run busy lives or careers, DO KNOW to ALWAYS remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

We as girls, and guys (at times,)we always make excuses for people, don’t we? But only when it comes to love. You’re love life is such a big thing isn’t it? It’s important. It motivates you. It makes you feel alive. But like i said in my last blog, I’m happy being single, yet i’m open to finding love. I’m just NOT BOTHERED about ‘coupling up’ with someone, who isn’t my going to be hero, my best friend or potential life partner/buddy/chum chum…whatever else you can bung in there.

I’m not arsed about the game of love. I want a man who’s not scared to chase love, show love, be loved. I like a man who knows how to get what he wants. It’s sexy. I want all boxes ‘ticked.’ And we all deserve that.

I mean, when you’re older. You know what you want. When you’re younger. You make excuses for all sorts and don’t really know as much as you think you do.

Well that was ME, anyway. It might not be you? But probably.

Right i’m off. I need to find a dress….

 

Getting A Preachy & Naked, Showering Grandads

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Happy Tuesday! It’s just a beautiful day and we’re having a beautiful start to Summer. I’m dipped in happiness and i’m trickled in the ‘good life.’ I’m feeling positive and optimistic and the reason why that’s so important to me, is because over the last few days, there’s been some really GREAT BITSFUN BITS and HILARIOUS MOMENTS of just pure life, that you could only wish to Polaroid…I mean in the space of 20 minutes an elderly gentleman offered to ‘soapy sud’ his entire body, in a shower…for my Insta story. He even did the ‘actions’ …which was also a delight. (Not.)

Me: ‘You do know that I WILL make you do it, for insta likes. I AM that shallow.’

KatyP: ‘Haha. Leave her alone now. It’s not wash ya Grandad Day, Mate.’

He was the most hilarious, golf playing soul. Filled with banter and all the wit in the world. I think he was called ‘Trevor’ or something?’ Anyway, he was in a red tshirt….and directly in my eyeline, because to my right hand side, flirting had occurred, that I was trying not to watch. Lol. He definitely indirectly called me ugly..

Me: ‘Aw. Don’t Start. I’m not in the mood for this. I’ve just been grilled about my life for the last 2 hours.’

Then pretended his wine was 4 shots of sambuca (i hate sambuca)  and all the rest of the ‘hard stuff.’ I love a bantery Grandad. They’re just my cuppa tea. And I don’t mean ‘FANCY,’ before you all start sliding into my DM’s. Lol. I do like ‘silver foxes’ though. Or when a guy gets, what I call his ‘salt and pepper‘ in. Y’know what I mean. When they’re going a bit greym on the sides.

IT’S SO SO SEXY! I COULDN’T LOVE IT ANY MORE ON A GUY. IT MAKES MY HEART GO *RAPIDO.*

HOWEVER….

…as the story always goes, over the last few days, there have also had moments where people have BORED me. I’ve been yelled at, ‘earfulled,‘ drained, immersed in the lives of others, who may not be as secure as I. Caught in the tales of those feeling utterly ‘lost‘ and listening to ‘he said/she said‘ drama… of that ever so important… ‘this and that.’

DULL

I’ve watched people cry. I’ve made them feel better. But ultimately it kinda made me realize that i’m nothing like that. I’m really together. I’m really secure. I’m emotionally strong. I’m warm hearted, yet not someone to be messed with. I have my pride, but i’m kind. I’m so direct that there’s not even ONE SEXY BIT of me that is lost. I did ‘being lost’ ages ago, it was ugly…so I got myself a one way ticket, back to ‘FOUND.’

you’re currently lost in the wilderness, sort yourself out, because honestly, you’re not going anywhere in life, emotionally, physically, mentally or financially, until you do.

You can throw yourself 100 ‘pity parties,’ THROW A THOUSAND and it’s not going to make ANY bit of difference. You’re not only going to make people tired of hearing it. You will 100 percent, not have the opportunity to ‘get sexy’ with ANYONE. NO ONE WILL SHAG YOU….ever. Lol.

And yeah, times can be hard, and life can be a bugger….BUT GOD, nothing is more unattractive than staying on ‘Team Lost.’ I cannot say it enough. By all means, feel it, have a blow out, express it…but get over it. Everyone has stuff ‘going on.’ Some handle it better than others. Bad times are temporary. The ones who hold onto bad times, instead of knowing that better times are approaching…to me….are the weakest souls. I actually can’t stand it. I don’t have any time for it.

That was just a very long way of saying…

MAN UP.

But, yes. I’m off to enjoy the sunshine today and grab a drinky. Last Friday..well I think it was Friday? Anyway, I had a good news phone call. ..and it made me feel all excited because, I filmed something a while ago…and it’s almost time for you to see it on your telly box.) I just had to go through everything with the producers and it felt really exciting because it made the moment feel ‘alive’ again.

I love those moments.

But yes, sorry for not blogging over the last in a couple of days. I accidentally decided to prioritize other things over it. Turns out…that wasn’t the best idea. Lesson learnt. I’m at my strongest when I focus on the things that I love…and this blog is certainly ONE of those things…

But i’m back. And I’m loving it….

Let’s just enjoy the sunshine, while we still have it.

ps/ Thank you those who went wild over my half nudey pics. Lol There’s always the ‘naked’ phase in every showman’s career.

Spring Cleans, Hollywood & Really Dodgy Fetish Parties ;)

I’m feeling all boated and knackered today, but i’ve got in the bag. My ‘Va Vooms’ on fire and because I feel like the busiest bee in all of the beautiful land…(Bee’s never look that busy to me, they just look like they try and SOUND busy, yet really they just fly around stinging people, whilst being stripey…) However, yes…I am busy with ‘the niggly bits’ the bits I despise. The bits where it comes in really handy, if OTHER PEOPLE do them for you. 🙂

*PLEASE HELP! HELP AWAY!*

And because I hate all things ‘niggly’ and it’s not wine o clock yet….I stayed really focused and distracted myself 🙂 by not concentrating, Googling bikinis and instead cleaned three rooms of my home from top to bottom, listening to ‘Little Mix’ in pyjama bottoms and a bra, and making work calls.

If I ever decide to clean my home that intensely from top to bottom…You know that I must be trying to bury my head in the glittery sand. I once threw out a pan and bought a new one simply because I couldn’t be arsed to clean it. 🙂

It’s like the most boring distraction in the world ever. It’s lame. Don’t do it. Sleeping with Greek men in togas is a good distratcion…Seeing what Michelle Keegan looks like in a bikini is a distraction…Cocktails…Friends, Banter….ANYTHING.

However, Scrubbing and hoovering is NOT! It’s shit. I only did it to burn extra ‘cos i’m bloated’ calories. But now i feel like I need 20 wines…

I have a really busy next 2 weeks…maybe 3 weeks…It’s jammed and at the same time i’m armed with The Wunna Babies. (Ruby squeezed all my Johnsons Baby Lotion of the pink bottle and and filled it up with water. That was fun. That was great! What a beautiful child. Didn’t at all make me want to RIP MY **&&*&*$$£”””” hair out. 🙂

Like the time when my LA guy roommate kept trying my clothes on in secret, when I was younger. I’d lay them all out, ready for a night on the razzle. I’d come back, after skipping off to buy wine, to find them inside out, worn…and smelling of sweaty boy. Lol. But much better than the time, I walked back in after late night Hollywood drinks…and found 7 grown up males, in pretend NAPPIES/DIAPERS, drinking beer and dancing in the living room….

I walked in with my best friend, who’s now a really successful film producer..(Good switch from ‘Party Boy’) and all I could hear was them panicking and shouting…

‘FUCK!!! DUDE!!!!! SHE’S FUCKING BACK ALREADY! DON’T LET HER GO UPSTAIRS.’

But me being Me…It weirdly didn’t bother me. Lol. I found it really funny..Plus, nothing is WORSE than having a secret fetish party and having a human, (who’s not part of the fun) *surprise* walk in…Let alone ‘surprise walk in’ and ALSO make you feel SHITTY… (Yet they were in diapers? Lol. I’m ridiculously laid back , when it comes to ‘taboo’ behaviour. I’ve seen so much…that that wasn’t anything really.

Me: ‘My feet hurt, are there anymore drinks…Why are you pretending to be an octopus? I’m going upstairs…’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘That’s Chrissie W’…’

Roomie: ‘Wunna…Yeah. She’s my roommate.’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘AW! FUCKSAKE DUDE!!!’

Roomie: ‘Don’t let her go upstairs! Oh! Hi, Matt!”

(That was my bestie.)

‘Chrissie, you’ve got some mail and that dude you went on a date with…that weird Bodyguard one…dropped your stuff back… Like a belt?’

Me: ‘Does it say *DIRT* on it? Is it that diamante one? He hasn’t even fixed the *Y* on it, has it…What an idiot. I hate dates… I’m just not gonna speak to him..’

And this was all when i was in my mid 20’s, and whilst my roommate was in a pretend diaper…and he was a lawyer. 🙂

HAHAHA. (Sorry, I’m just pissing myself….. My friend Matt & I did so much better for ourselves…Lol)

Upstairs was awful. Lol. Even I was shocked. I’ve told the story before and it IS embedded in this website…

But yeah…Lol…What I was actually going to say, is that now i’ve told the story…I noticed that the whole random fetish party didn’t bother me at all, yet the guy who decided to try on my clothes, whilst I was out, behind my back, BEFORE I HAD EVEN WORN THEM……

PISSED ME OFF.

So, it must be the little things that wind me up.

But anyway, thank you everyone for reading my blog! I’ve received so many inbox messages from literally all over the world, from ladies, men, girls, guys and saying that they’re loving it, hooked or have just had a first time ‘peek.’

Like ‘Trigg’ had a first time peek yesterday, because he couldn’t follow quite obvious instructions. Lol.

Trigg: ‘I didn’t know I could swipe up?’

Me: ‘What? Even though it says SWIPE UP??’

And a guy from Vienna messaged me this morning saying that he read yesterdays blog and loved it and that HE actually used to work right by me in LA, by The Grove. He has this wonderful Youtube channel about his travels, so I’m gonna check that out today.

Plus, I love that all Ladies, love a ‘school mums’ blog. Unfortunately, I went with diaper ridden fetish party today…But hey…It’s all about balance, right? 😉

I had a moment yesterday, where I stopped a second after being rushed out of a meeting and into a car, where I *paused* and got to chill for a moment….

I sent this message…

‘Missing ya.’

They replied with a..

‘Miss u to xx’

Then life scuttled us along…..

I’ve got lots going on, shoots, influencey things, I’ve got to fit in the time to commit to filming, flights to Spain, meetings, Motherhood…and my friends….

In this Chapter, my newest one…I am being a really shit friend. I went from having all the time in the world, to having no time…Or having to prioritse my time. Plus, I have ‘powers above’ who make me hinder to sacrifices. But I just have to do it. It’s work and i’m building…

But this weekend, it’s my chick friend ‘Fairytales’ birthday drinks…So I’ll be celebrating it with her at The Electric Theatre….

I actually almost forgot, because I had fittings and flights and all sorts of busy mayhem…But Mel reminded me on Monday….I love ‘People Reminders.’ And just like that…I’ll be there!

The Career’s going really well. I’m feeling really confident right now…

I’m gonna SMASH IT.

Cue: FIRE

We Made It to Wednesday…..

I had to ‘write off’ Monday. It was hilarious. Let’s just say that Sunday afternoon in Leeds was filled with really sunny afternoon gin and tonics. Doubles. I had a blast as I met up with Lil’ Miss Laura Bartlett, who owns House of Coco Magazine…but i’ll tell you about that later, when i’ve pulled my glitzy self together…as so much fun went on… but yes…I found myself the next morning, feeling ROUGH, sat in a warm roomed meeting, propped up against a door and a wall….trying to strain my eyes open…and every time I closed them DURING the meeting Lol…I’d sort of *SHOCK* myself up and my fave chick ‘Firmonnell’ would be directly in my eye line PISSING HERSELF LAUGHING. (Oh Tuesday, I got my own back, as I watched both Firmonnell & Hustle Barbie do their *yawny* versions of life through the first meeting of the day.)

Double B: ‘Wow! You look like shit. I know whenever you feel rough cos your eyelashes go really tiny…’

Me: ‘Yeh. I’m just gonna have to get through the day… I don’t know how i’m gonna get through the day…?’

But FUCK IT…I DID! I did it! I’m a trooper and i’m not one to let the side down. I picked my sassy little self up, embraced the utter feeling of shitness. I made sure everyone new my state of existence…and without a clue, I muscled through..with a lucozade and really sore eyes. The fact is…I DID IT. Call me Lazy? Call me ‘BOSSING IT’ dolls.

As soon as I got home, I slow motion toppled into a warm bubble bath and went straight to bed, in a happy, naked, mist of bliss.

I’ve needed to rest, hence why I haven’t been able to blog. Yet, I’m feeling much better now. I kinda just need a massage and  bra that doesn’t seem to kill. That’s make me happy. Nothing is worse than a knackered girl, as it takes our ‘glam’ away from us. That’s why rest and recuperation is vital to any glamour pusses schedule. 🙂 I’m still in my pj’s, but i’ve put on a set of  heels anyway, simply to feel feminine again and because flats make you feel awkward. Comfy. But frumpy. Hahah! (I’ll grow up some day. Honest! Can we do Prosecco for breakfast?)

Tuesday…all about work. My chick friends and I have JUST BEEN WORKING. It’s been a head down and hustle, through the bustle. There’s not even ups or downs…just stress and work. Lol. I mean, we didn’t get to banter about much else, but work…Other than the fact that ‘Hustle Barbie’ got called a slut when she was in a black sophisticated trouser suit (lol), after returning from Poland where she trapped herself in a creepy house that she found on the internet with friends, for kicks. It was pitch black…part of the wonderful ‘things you can do here…’ rosta, and she got chased around a scary house, by a guy in a wheelchair, who stood up and ran at her with a chainsaw.

‘Chrissie! I was so scared that I even fell over in the pitch black and ended up having to grab some Polish boys balls to heave myself back up in fear.’

Fuck ‘Hustle Barbie’s’ fear. That Polish boy had the best time ever.

She’s such a slut. 🙂

On the up…Fairytale Blond is moving into her new home, with her new man, with ‘getting the keys and everything‘ on Thursday. Awww! I’m sure Fairytale babies will be made, behind their Fairytale white picket fence and she can’t wait. She has butterflies. Mel and I have instructed her to have sex on every counter and corner of the home. She should probably borrow Firmonnell’s sex step. Saying that…they’re all on diets now, so they’re gonna need all the steps the can get. Mel’s diet is great. She’ll eat anything she wants and then say..

‘What? I’ve brought melon…it’s fine…It counteracts it.’

Double B is also en route to her new home. She is awaiting the go ahead on ‘here’s your keys‘ and when she gets them…she will have a sassy CRY and simply because unlike ‘Fairytales’ her journey has been very stressy….very dramatic…and very Double B’y. Yet their journey to getting the same thing has been UTTERLY DIFFERENT…However, what matters is that the BOTH got to the finish line with the winning result that they wanted. It doesn’t matter how you get there…Just get there. If the roads bumpy..strap in and embrace it. If it’s smooth…*Glide Baby, Glide.*

But then that just leaves me…

I have the biggest rest of April ahead of me, as I head into investment, the beginning of the Vlog and with a final glamourous clatter to the month at the UK Blog Awards, which is on the 21st. I’d say i’m on my promo for that..yet when they’ve already chosen the winner…you don’t really need to promo too much? However, i’m excited and honoured. Can’t wait to be there! I couldn’t be more grateful.

I also have a meeting early in the afternoon on the day of the blog awards with Jack Parsons, who owns Yourfeed UK. I’m looking forward to meeting him, as again, he’s done very well for himself and his company. I’m happy that he requested to see me…and well tottering through his offices seems like it would be a blast.

However, let me tell you I AM IN A SWIRL. GOD! This is the biggest SWIRL I have ever experienced in my ENTIRE time on this little disco Earth ball. This guy is making me feel like i’m on top of  the TOP of the WORLD. Through the busy days, the resting, the work load, the stress, the good times..the everything…he just has this ability to make me *beam* from ear to ear and have my little kitty soul light up with laughter, excitement but a peaceful happiness. He’s my perfect! I can’ t help but adore him. How could I not?

Yet, there’s something about this ‘swirl’ as it’s not just any swirl…it’s a solid swirl. It’s a secure, solid swirl. There’s a stability to it. I feels good. No. It feels great. This guy…and this is after actually us getting to know one another…is my dream man.

Right now…I feel like a very lucky girl…

 

 

 

 

Busy Times & Oriental Wives!

‘You’re quiet Chrissie?’

‘Why are you so quiet today?’

‘She’s just stressed…’

‘No. Lol. I’ve just got a lot of work on, so i’m in the mode and not getting distracted by Tom Foolery. 🙂 ‘

I am currently tinkering in the busiest time that I have EVER experienced It a merry ‘work load’ and all at once. I’m good at being busy. So i’m not phased. I’m happy. I’m positive. But when I am busy, my mind is full, swift and flashing methodically. So I tend to go quiet, focus on the *hush hush* and get through whatever I need to, in my own little Wunna zone. Lol I obviously must be gobbier than I thought? As my quietness was questioned and noticed. 🙂 I didn’t even notice that I was being quiet.

But yes, it’s so busy for me right now, that there isn’t really time for me to enjoy too much of a giggle, throw a ‘pity party’ or bury my head in the sand. Everything needs to get done…So i’m doing it. And even though today was somewhat daunting. Tomorrow, I’ll SMASH IT because that’s what good girls do! *Wiggle…Wink.* Monday is always my ‘figure it out’ day. Tuesday…I’m usually ON IT! So I want you to know that, if you are also experiencing a super ‘fast paced’ dash of life…Be it in work, emotionally or romantically….All you have to do is grow ten feet tall, don’t bother wasting time on the ‘poor little me’ and just knuckle down, organize it all and in the best heels, get to being PRODUCTIVE….FAST! Sort it all out so it works in your favour. You’ll feel so good when you totter over that ‘finish line’ that you might even have a little champion ‘slut drop’ in the name of VICTORY. And we all know that the ‘slut drop’ is the pinnacle point of any worthy dance off.

That’s what ‘slaying it‘ is all about. (Guuuurls!) Shut off, focus on what YOU’RE DOING, forget about whatever everyone else is doing and get it done. It’s as easy as that. Do the things that you constantly put off…and you’ll feel EVEN MORE delicious when you finally get to the tunnel end!

I’M FEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING GOOD!

Away from that, I got in, kissed my Babies with love and swirled in that ‘Happy Mama’ glory. Then whilst pouring a fresh gin and tonic and scrolling through my phone…I accidentally got into the most hilarious banter with two of my LA guy friends.

When I was young and in West Hollywood, I used to date both of them. No. Not at the same time. But, during chapters of my life and not for very long. We were all friends, caught up in the sunkissed LA lifestyle, trying to ‘make it big.’ ANYWAY, and i’ve blogged this before…but BOTH GUYS (who I remember had these stunning hot blond girlfriends, followed by sexy brunette short terms…and…well you get the picture.) Both guys were models/actors and super sweet all at the same time. They’re hot! But everyone is in LA. I mean, it’s a town where you’ll be a dick, poor, a ‘no hoper,’ or challenged, but YOU WILL LOOK GOOD DOING IT. 🙂

They’re much older now, as am I. One is currently happily married and gushing about how much he adores his wife on Instagram and the other (who once SWORE TO ME) that he would never marry until he was 84 and when he did he’d be stonkingly rich and date a 23 year old Playboy bunny. Lol. That was his future.

Both guys….Now that they’re settled….have chosen to do ‘forever’ with smoking hot ORIENTAL CHICKS! YES! Hahaha! We are finally the BEST accessory! Honestly. It’s the newest thing in town! All chicks from the Orient are now your LA wives! I’ve obviously *slapped them * with ‘The Wunna Brush’ that there was no other choice than to pick a chick from Eastern lands, with those little kitten eyes. Lol

I did express that to them!

They pissed themselves text laughing…(they both know each other well) and agreed to state that they certainly picked ‘less annoying’ versions of me. 🙂

‘Less annoying! It was like trying to shake turd off a stick with you guys! 🙂 ‘

‘You took yourself off rotation…’

‘I don’t think I have ever been involved with a girl where so many people decided to be so interested in what was going on! It was madness.’

Then we wished each other well for ‘old times’ sake and I sat back, kicked off my kitten heels and enjoyed the most delicious G & T that a heavy work Monday could’ve ever treated me with.

Life is hectic. But it’s good right now!

I’m focusing on one thing at a time and doing it well. It’s not about the rush. It’s about doing things right…as when you do things appropriately…you’ll make a much better impact long term.

*Wink.*

 

 

 

Too Old To Party

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I’m on ‘Chill Monday’ but what a weekend. I haven’t even recovered from it, (I spent half of yesterday evening in a blue monster onesie, with no face on, my hair tied up in a messy knot, my Mum at mine watching xfactor, whilst I laid in bed dying of exhaustion and roughness.I’d been up and out all day with the babies, doing brunch with Keiran and lunching with my parents. Definitely felt ROUGH AS HELL. It killed me. Before i had a Desperado and realized that the ‘hair of the dog’ really does work.) This certainly signifiies that even though i am the queen of cocktailing and ultimate glamour pussing, this kitten is OLD and it seems that the art of ‘party party’ is really really different to the art of good old ‘cocktailing.’ I can sit with a ‘Handsome’ and sip down fruity on fire, with umbrellas, smoked or sparkled beverages in the fanciest of cocktail bars, all over the world…It’s an art form. It’s all ‘old school’ Hollywood or modern day, young glamour. But Holy ‘Fry My Mackerels!’ I cannot for SHIT go out to a dancey drinks place, do ‘dancey all night’ and drinks all night’ until the early hours of the morning and feel okay afterward. One night. Three days recovery. AWFUL! It was still kinda fun though! 🙂 I mean whilst i was there i was having a blur of a blast! A really good time. I’m fun loving, it was our works do, we were all meeting and greeting, downing gins, dancing with friends, spinning under dark purple, white room club lights and finding prosecco and free cocktails with every peek. Chatted lots. Had tons of fun. Hung out with the people who i pretty much hang out with every day Lol. Danced! Loved! Lived. Tried to sit down but everyone kept making me get up. (I’m old, I need a sit down. Hahah.) Then all of sudden it was like these boys came in from nowhere and this semi circle of gents, had formed…all dancing, all drinking and all around and in front of me? I’m not sure what happened…but they were all giving me the eye. So i’d dance with one and the one next to hi would get narked off. So i’d dance with him and the one next to him would then get narked off. Hahaha. It was like a weird mind game, that 30 something, single glamour pusses, don’t play? It was a budget, club version of ‘The Bachelorette.’ Except instead of it taking weeks to film, it would’ve taken fifteen minutes, because i just walked off and started hanging out with ‘Fairytale blond’ and ‘Firmonnell.’ (Who’s Mum drove us to the event. 🙂 Her Mum was ace and said i looked like ‘Gladys Knight.’)

So the Christmas do was at Tiger Tiger Leeds. Not somewhere that I’d necessarily chose to go, yet for a works do, it was great and we had our own room. BUT OH MY GOD, my new PET PEEVE. IF YOU OWN A BAR, MANAGER A BAR, ARE IN CHARGE OF A BAR, please, please, please have toilet doors that firstly come with locks and secondly if they do come with locks, have locks THAT FUCKING WORK.

Nothing drove me more insane that the fact that i had to do two ‘sit down, stretchy arm’ wees at Tiger Tiger, in some fitted gold, glamourous dress, with everyone in the stalls next to me shouting,

‘Have you got Nat’s handbag??? Chrissie! Have you got Nat’s handbag??’

What i actually mean by a ‘sit down, stretchy arm’ wee is, a wee in a public loo, where in which you have to sit down on the toilet and stretch forward to hold the door closed, as you wee, filled with anxiety, incase someone walks in. NIGHTMARE. That doesn’t happen at The Dorchester. 😉

Great night! Lots of fun! Took ages to get home. It was the busiest town in the world. My feet killed. Yet as soon as i got in and stripped down naked and crashed into bed, with my full face on.

Then i woke up bright and early and did Brunch with Junior, Ruby and Keiran at Ackworth Garden Centre. It’s a thing we do now and the kids love it there at Christmas. They can sit and eat scrambled eggs, around the most Christmas ever lol, with Paw Patrol characters and others… dancing around them. Then Pete showed up and took the babies to see Peppa Pig, who had appeared to greet the Christmas masses, as Keiran and I sipped green tea and discussed life. The ‘Dads’ had good banter. I had bought both Ruby and Junior these ‘built a plane in a tin’ kits. Yet, told each child that they had to go make it with their fathers. 😉 (I don’t have the patience for stuff like that. HAHAHA.) The boys discussed, their plane building skills and pissed themselves laughing. Then i shot off to Doncaster to do lunch with my parents, as they did their Sunday with the babies.

I have today off work, so i’m trusting that i’ll be able to successfully champion ‘Chill Monday.’ I’m an ambitious, go getter. I can’t seem to just sit and chill and do nothing. And that’s wrong as you need balance. So today i’ve set myself a challenge of DOING NOTHING. I managed to ‘tick box’ it until about an hour ago. I just got bored. But it’s only because my body and more MIND isn’t used to it!

Even Ruby (who’s now off school) isn’t causing any drama. She’s just merrily playing by herself and filming her pretend Vlog.

I could do with a Bloody Mary.