Hormonally Imbalanced Banter

Today was about business and banter. I don’t know what happened, but it was a rainy day in Yorkshire. I was stood outside in my grey pencil dress and faux fur wondering where everyone had got to? One had slept through the alarm, another needed to get cake, the other was ill and Firmonnell decided to take 300 years to go buy milk…

Me: ‘Why has it taken you so long to get milk?’

Firmonnell: ‘I got pants too…’

(She was sassy today…in her slutty specs.)

Then it all went the best way we like it…downhill..as we surrendered to fun and just went with ‘fuck it.’ Sometime s’fuck it’ is such a good option, as we as humans spend so much time being far too serious and far too serious playing ‘game and front’ that we forget to just relax and just adore all that is happening to us in love and work.

I’m a fun girl and in my world, I think there’s ALWAYS TIME for a giggle, ALWAYS TIME for a joke and always time for a champagne and to dance on tables. Even for just a minute…there’s time for a moment of adventure.. always. Be it calm, saucy, busy or hilarious. If you can’t make time for a moment, then you’re doomed, because life will come and post you a ‘shoulda coulda’ memo…and they’re always shit.

Live now. Embrace all the wonderful changes that are happening to you. Make porn out of Jelly Babies and send it to the guy you fancy. (I 100 percentage absolutely did that today. 🙂 I’m such a catch. Obvs! But whatever, I told you, i’m living like i have nothing to lose and this guy is literally the man of my dreams. I like him…A LOT.)

Then all my chick friends decided to either be on a period, endure the week before they get their period or just be period. You’ve got to love chicks when we’re hormonally imbalanced. It’s sassy, it’s sexy…it’s almost fucked up. Lol.

Then went on rants. Rants SO good that there were moments where we were literally all just looking at each other and CRYING with laughter.

Double B: ”Honestly, I could smoke a cigarette and stab it out in his eyes..’

 ‘All i want to do is cry…What’s wrong with me??’

Hustle Barbie: ‘You have to marry your best friend. I mean god! That’s why I HATE him…because i went for someone that I was just relatively attracted to. We don’t even get on Lol..Oh.. and my cat has friends.’

Me: I’m totally in a swirl. I totally send him nudes.’

Double D: ‘Do you want some of this…’

Me: What!! Half eaten disgusting cheesecake! Don’t try and offer me half eaten shit.’

Mel: I hate the word gusset!!! I have mine the the wrong way around today!’

‘You need to try and get that Monday off so you can get away…’

Double B: ‘He can suck my wad!’

Fairytale Blond: ‘Ive Facebooked her. Guess what colour hair she has?

Firmonnell: ‘Blond’

Double B: ‘Green.’

Me: ‘Ginger.’

Firmonnell: BLOND!

Double B: ‘GREEN!’

Me: ‘ I said, GINGER.’

Fairtayle: No, it’s brown…’

Me: ‘Why does that whole conversation feel pointless? Lol’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Why is it that I can’t tell a story without doing the voices.’

‘Not the voices…’

‘Yours start out Irish and then always end Indian.’

Webbo: ‘I was almost late today because I was playing hide and seek with the kids. I just thought they just better hurry up and FIND ME, cos i’ve got to chuffing get to work.’

‘She’s definitely an alcoholic.’

Firmonnel: ‘I think it’s odd that you and Jordan share clothes?? Liek you shouldn’t share clothes with your boyfriend. We’re you in his jacket today?’

Double B: ‘I’ll come home and he’s in my leggings.’

‘You can’t sit with us, we’re models.’

‘I kicked off the last time i went Karting, as I didn’t want to wear the helmet.’

‘Hahaha….I love it. Proper Diva.’

That was how the morning began until it just got boring and I spent the day messaging ‘the swirl’ because i’m all ‘nothing to lose,’ was completely on top of all business and well I just find him delicious. I can’t help it.

Glad you had a good one…

Why haven’t you followed me on Instagram?

chrissiewunna

Ps/ My chicks friends are currently on Whatsapp discussing the words ‘MOIST…MUSHROOM & CRUSTY!’ 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy Peacefulness

JUST A GREAT DAY!

One of those peaceful, productive, all over it, on top of it, perfect days of ‘easy peasy,’ where work wiggled by swimmingly and life was delicately sprinkled over with a gentle ease of calm. We worked smart and not hard and we productively got more done than we have in ages, simply because we ‘faced our frogs’ and did everything with utter support and absolutely no pressure. It worked wonders.

I watched ‘Fairytale Blond; get her *lump* sorted and be excited to gallop home to see her Prince Jonny, in their brand new ‘now living together’ home. She’s turned into a proper ‘wifey’ overnight and prepares tea before early morning starts, as her ‘Prince’ waits for deliveries and magically screws new bar stools together.

I shared giggly moments with ‘Firmonnell,’ which at times became somewhat inappropriate, yet honestly people shouldn’t inbreed as it really does make you deformed. Find love with people who you aren’t related to and you might magically discover that life serves you a better shot. Yes. That’s what we came up with today. Yes, we are dickheads, but so glamourous with it, that are charm delights the masses, even when the words we deliver are ‘ouchy.’

Firmonnell: ‘You know if I don’t lose weight at my fat club, they make me go to a fat club counselling session as punishment.’

(She’s not fat. She just wants to lose weight so she doesn’t look shit in a bikini, on beaches around apparent skinny people? She ‘maintained’ which isn’t a loss, so she found herself sat amongst others having to explain her reasons for her ‘need to work harder?’ LOL.)

She other than that and smart work, life has been pretty peaceful. It has been swirled over with a calm merriment that you could only wish for during a ‘hustle.’ I’ve learnt that pressure pisses people off. It does the opposite to what it’s meant to do be doing. When you trust people to do the right thing and get on with it…they seem to…and that alone makes us all smile.

So, I’m having a couple drinks at home tonight and spending my evening chilling with Ruby & Junior. (The Wunna Babies.) I’m looking forward to my Friday in London. My meeting with Jack Parson at Yourfeed UK and then my Blog Awards. I’m calm about it all now…I think I got unnecessarily stressed. I’ve been so productive from all angles today that it’s sort of made me feel whole…like i’ve achieved. At the end of the day, to be finalized as one of the BEST creators of Digital Content in the nation, in my category, is totally something special. I’ll take that and i’ll certainly drink lots of prosecco to it too! *Wink here.*

I had one of my best chick friends panic message me today, as she went on a date with a guy who sh’ed be chatting to online. The did dinner, smooched and then he never spoke to her again. Well that’s dramatic. It’s only been four days…Yet, she’s all forlorn and doesn’t know what to do?

Unfortunately, she asked for my help and i’m shit at advice, because I always think that there are no rules to love. YET, even though i’m unconventional, I’m quite traditional and I told her to not chase the guy…as surely, if he wanted to chat to her…she looked down at her phone and there would be a message. That’s what men are made for, ‘the hunting and the gathering.’ Let them BE men. They’ll feel much better for it, in the end. It’s not about refusing to be easy on them and more about letting them take control and embrace their role. It’s sexy. Be sexy.

Double D: ‘Yeah, but I prefer it when a girl chases me…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you’re soft. You’re like a girl.’

(Double D has just broken up with his girlfriend because she wanted to travel and he wanted to buy a house and settle.)

Double D: ‘Yeah, I do get insecure. But..’

But nothing…I think Men should take the lead when it comes to the art of romance, dating and the initial beckon of love. It’s makes us as women more responsive and when we respond…we respond whole heartedly.

Anyway, i’m of to have a chilled one…I’m relaxing, cooking dinner, having a wine and doing it all in comfies, before BUSY HITS ME BIG over the next couple of days.

Just enjoy where you’re at in life…and do it with love. Embrace all the new chapters, people and situations and where you are in life, right now. I always say it, but pay attention to the things that perk your interest, make you smile…make you happy. Pursue them bravely.

Life’s too short to not go for it….The right things, people, situations and opportunities will come to you when they’re meant to. I really believe that. And even though often people suggest you don’t rely on such nonsense…Something tells me that there’s a force of *magic* that always takes of you if you’re a human that deserve it. *Wink*

 

My Blog, Bartlett & The New Year

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So, we did it! We championed an entire 2016! Some of you have had a shit year! Some of you have had a great year! I guess it depends on how you look at things? But nonetheless, you survived it, lived it, loved and hopefully shimmied a bit closer to your ‘dreams come true.’

I’ve had a massive year of change. If i go back two years ago, 2014 was probably the worst year of my life that I had to prettily surf with a wink and a round of deep breaths. I couldn’t wait for it to be over, as if anything went wrong that year, it did. My work life, my love life, my home life…it all went to pot…and I could’ve taken that time and drowned myself in a rummy pity party (lol,) yet I didn’t, it made me strong, I laughed it off and I sort of ‘rose from the ashes’ as they say, ten times more dynamic.

Then in 2015, after being thrown into and spat out of an emotional rollercoaster, without my consent or being strapped in, I was determined to play it safe and live a more mundane ‘un..glittery’ existence, that wasn’t me. I dated a normal boring boy, with no goals, ambition, no adventure, or life experience. I looked after him…and i got bored quickly. Yet it was great because at the same time as him draining the ‘ooh laa’ out of me, as his insecurity had sort of got in the way of me furthering myself with my career, it helped me quickly realise what i actually wanted, what my purpose was and that I was ready. So i changed my world around, got happy, got rid of boy and again became 10 times more mighty. bI was on the right path, as i had bored myself SO silly, that i yearned for excitement and to make my mark. (Work was always good.)

Everything changed in 2016 and fast, as i was no longer hanging about. I stayed loyal to my goals, what i wanted, who i wanted to be and became productive. Work changed Lifestyle changed. Guys changed. I stayed firmly single all year. Everything was new, fresh and exciting. I had shimmied up that ladder a little bit more and then in October, it all changed again, as i made a little decision to go to The Leeds Lifestyle Awards. From that point on weirdly, the Wunna magic was ignited…and opportunity just seemed to keep domino falling infront of me. Instead of shying away, I took the up….(I still kept making weird boy decisions through the year)…But i finally pulled myself together, turned the focus away from that and CONCENTRATED on what I wanted, needed and what would make me happy. (Work was always good.)

Fresh opportunities came a tapping…and the blog set fire and went WILD. It had been read all over the world on every continent anyway, yet it SHOT OUT OF GLITTER CANON AND IT GOT CRAZY.

Everything changed and I was going from place to place, doing life, blogging about it and turning the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ name, into a brand… by accident. (Even though I kinda knew what i was doing. 😉 ) Within weeks, I was being labelled the ‘Real Life, Carrie Bradshaw,’ an inspiration, a Cyberlebrity, I was getting invited to some of the top new openings, events and places..for the largest companies, brands, be they restaurants, clubs, fashion labels…everything and just because they wanted to appear on this page! I became Verified on Twitter and everyone seemed to be listening to what i was saying. Meetings sort of confetti showered upon me and big agents, infact all sorts came a tapping at my kitten door, in order to try and represent me. (I didn’t go with any of them, as I didn’t feel the ‘fit’ was right. The ‘fit’ matters. Who you work alongside or trust to give your ‘brand’ to, collaborate with, or build an empire with…matters. It’s like dating, you wouldn’t just settle because you have nothing going on, if you don’t have to.)

Important people were tuning into my blog, more and more followers were peeking into Wunna land and people who I’M personally inspired by started to follow me or take a moment of their time to actually click on Chrissiewunna.com and read a blog. (AS IF!) I mean, to ME that was simply such a personal pinnacle. It made my eyes smile, filled my soul with gratitude and made me feel of ‘worth.’

All of this was going on…as I was going to work every single day, doing my day job, being a single Mum, loving all of that and getting on with life, happily. I mean, I work alongside the best people. I also have such a supportive family, that in that area, i cannot at all go wrong.

Towards the end of the year things busied up…and as I was working through the day, being a Mum after work and then working through the evening at events, with the help of my Mum and the Baby Daddies…more stuff changed, I made more connections, people wanted to help me and I began (which is where I am now) stamping my mark down that little harder. I mean GOSH, the absolutely FABULOUS time that I had at Gino D’Acampo’s new restaurant in Leeds, that stepped up my game a little. (I go back in January after the first successful visit. 🙂 I can’t wait!) But yes, I was being asked to just show up at venues and simply BLOG from them. I KNOW!!! WITH BOOZE!!! It’s a crazy kind of wonderful that is so humbling that I almost have to pinch myself to believe it. I’ve shimmied at every Christmas celebrity event. I blogged my version of them all. MY birthday with Lisa Appleton ended up all over the national press (because of Lisa’s Bum Lol,) and I started to get *papped* at places and then I got nominated for the UK Blog Awards…and in a week, i’ll find out if i made the shortlist. (I even made the UK Blog Awards Trend!! AS IF!!)

During this whole entire time, my sanctuary and my grounding force was always my work colleagues, my children and my moments alone of reflection away from the madness. (Like I went back to the office today and ‘The Mighty’ said that my blog reads like i’m a frilly Bimbo type, who’s all ‘wishy washy cocktails,’ when really i’m quite sensible, ambitious and together. It was her last day today at work for a while, as she is off to birth a human. We’ll miss her.)

BUT also towards the end of the year I really got into watching these truly inspiring Vlogs by Steven Bartlett, who created the whole ‘Social Chain’ company. Every night I watched one, (and I still do) to learn, to calm my mind in the evenings as I laid in bed and to feel empowered before I went to sleep.

I actually found his Vlog accidentally via ‘Eton Mess’ who I had stopped talking to, not because of any problems, as we’re still friends, but just because that’s what ‘life’ wanted. Anyway, he’d posted one of Bartlett’s Vlogs on his Facebook Wall, about ‘Negative People,’ and after watching it, I then posted one of his other Vlogs on MY OWN Facebook wall.

From that point on like he was some Life Wizard, I was hooked, because i felt so inspired, I could relate to everything he was saying…PLUS, there was just something about him…there is…isn’t there…There’s just something about that guy…

When I appeared at Gino’s for lunch (best place ever) doing the Restuarant blog with ‘House of Solo’ I used my last 1 percent of battery life, watching a Bartlett Vlog at the Prosecco bar. YES, during my own actual appearance. Lol. The next day when i wrote my blog and posted it everywhere like I do and I tagged Steven Bartlett into my Twitter Post. I didn’t think he’d read it/skim it, or care to be honest. But i tagged him in it anyway…and he read it..He even Tweeted me back thanking me for the mention in the blog and then thanked me for watching and supporting HIS Vlogs. AS IF!!! It literally made me BEAM! I would never have thought that that would’ve happened, but it did and it made me happy because I had emailed Social Chain a week and a half before and I hadn’t recieved a response.

So, I guess i’m saying that this year has been AMAZING and i hope yours has too! If it hasn’t, look forward or create better times. For me, it’s been the year where in which I rebooted, refound my passion, became productive and did what I loved. It’s been the year where appropriate or magical changes have been made in order to place all the right elements in their correct places for the next step. I don’t know whether I’VE done that or ‘The Gods’ have thrown me a bone. Lol.

What I did want to say was THANK YOU, as even though this is the diary of MY life, if it wasn’t for YOU, tuning in… when you can.. or when you care and returning back to ‘Wunna Land’ afterward, it really wouldn’t be where it’s at today.

I mean GOD, when it first started a decade ago in Hollywood and only 8 people read it a month….I didn’t have internet access (and the blog was still on Myspace) so I had to walk to The Beverly Center, in West Hollywood every day and write my blog from one of the display demo desktops at the Apple Mac store. Lol. They didn’t even stop me. I must’ve looked like a weirdo. I even did it at the Apple Stores in New York and in every hotel that provided free internet services…all over America. Lol. (People didn’t want me to blog from their venue then. 🙂 Ten years on…they’re begging me too.)

I remember being excited because 74 people had read my blog in ONE DAY. 🙂 Now, like I always tell you, tens and TENS OF THOUSANDS OF YOU *click* into Wunna Land, all over the world…On every single continent….In over 200 different countries…..and its translated into 40 different languages a day. (Haha…You know the spiel.)

But thank YOU for reading and following my life. It’s just my version of it and I hope yours is going just as well or at least the way you wish it to!

Thank you to everyone who has been a real life part of this year. I always say that my blog is like a written word, reality show, where real people, *pop* out of nowhere and become part of it all, as their real life path crosses with mine. If it was a written word, reality show, then I will honestly tell you that I HAVE NEVER EVER HAD A BETTER CAST, THAN THE CAST OF THIS YEAR!! Lol. THANK YOU. You rocked! (Even the ones that put me through shit. Lol.)

I don’t know what my 2017 has in store…I’ve read loads of tweets by others who all have ‘so many great things happening in 2017.’ 

I honestly have no clue what’s a coming? I just know that whatever life throws at me…I’m ready for it and i’m armed with a *wink.*

Hopefully i’ll BOSS IT and not drink too much gin.

I’ll leave you with this… (This was the first Steven Bartlett Vlog that I found posted on someone else’s Facebook wall…)

Happy 2017. Sail Well!

SENDING YOU ALL MY LOVE.

FUCKING HAPPY NEW YEAR!