Love, Life, Stress & Booze UPs

Hi, my little tinsel wrapped Chucky eggs! I’m writing this on my phone with my thumbs, after refusing a morning Guinness, to instead turn on the fairy lights and allow in a little merriment, in my own way. (You’re gonna have to bare with me. I’m shit with thumb tappering. You can’t even sip your pina colada.)

I’ve had SUCH a busy time, following the First Dates thing. I’ve kinda had no rest! Mainly because I’ve had a whole bunch of other stuff lined up..that I’ve had to smash, get in the can, shoot, write, learn, influence, visit or read…and all before Christmas!

I’ve been on every train. I’ve lost both sets of car keys. I’ve won. I’ve lost. I’ve been hit on no end. However, by boys who don’t wanna take me on an actual date..They just wanna ‘bone’ me like I’m a prize…not like I’m human.

But it doesn’t bother me, cos I know exactly what I’m looking for…Boys can’t mess with me. Plus every time some guy, tries to fly in with a boner…who has no intention of anything more, but the merry art of ‘boning’..it’s reconfirms the ‘what I need’ more and more. It does this by showing me what I don’t need….with gin bells on.

That alone makes me happy. I don’t sell myself short  anymore. I’m grown! Being all wise, makes me feel sexy!

Pats in the back for me!!

I’m loving meeting you all. It’s been great to have met so many of you, who have been filled with ‘First Dates’ love for me. It’s weird because it was only a little date in the telly. But I’ve just had so much love from so many people…in bars, in shopping centres, down wine isles, in playgrounds, all over! I’ve had hugs, love and every human, being human. Y’know sending me blessings for the future..because Cupid is a bastard. 😂

I have time for absolutely everyone. So it makes me really happy, when you stop me for a banter or a selfie. So many people still believe in true love!

Being a romantic! I love that, with all my heart!

I’ve felt lost through the whole of last week. Ruby, Junior and I, ALL have! I’ve been filled with a  jolly jiggle on absolute anxiety! It’s been stressful. The kids have been my world through it. I mean little Ruby even read me poems before bed, so I’d sleep.

Chick friend: ‘You kinda have this way of acting like you’re over the moon and fine, when you’re scared or nervous.’

Very true! I’m a pro at it. I have the heart of a true entertainer! Lol

My mum, who’s my life line, tinkered on holiday for 2 weeks. (How Dare She!!) And the timing of it was shit. Y’see whenever a bit of ‘look at me’ occurs, in my life & I’m dipped in a 5 second ‘light of lime,’ I always need her more than ever. I need her more than ever!!

But she was GONE!!

It was good for me though, because you can’t  live in a comfort zone. I’ve got quite good at having the rug pulled, yet still being able to stand and sip my wine!

Now, i’m an independent girl, aren’t I! I’ve travelled the world, with work, on my own since being 19, to dream chase! I was juicy! I still am! But as I’m growing older, my priorities have changed…I’m a sassy bit of ‘family girl’ now. I’m happy, when I’m around the people who I love…because they too care about me the most!

They protect me.. My world is filled with love!

Mum: ‘Chrissie, you can’t be in entertainment and get anxious when people stop, to be lovely to you..It’s your job. They’re supporting you! They want a pic because they’ve loved watching you do, you’re do. Don’t be frightened.’

Me: ‘I’m not frightened. I love it. I love THEM! I do all that well. Sometimes it makes me feel more insecure?’

I guess, when you gave the mist around you, it’s wonderful. However after a bit, it  starts to ‘Circus’ a little…(in fact, it’s not always wonderful, because cyberland will sometimes hate on me. Haha!)

When it starts to ‘Circus,’ that’s when I need my Mama!

Mum: ‘I love you. But you need to rely on your own strength. You need to feel rocky to get strong. When you were a little girl, you were filled with this irrepressible STRENGTH. Now that life has bashed you about a bit..you rely on me or shut away & you can’t, because I’m not gonna be here forever!’

Anyway…

I’ve just got back from London! I had a shoot, 2 meetings and I then did drinks at the Great Northern Bar.

It was cold and chucking it down. But inside where the wine was flowing..it was warm! It was cosy!

Bartender: ‘You’re an attractive girl! Where are you headed tonight?’

Me: ‘I’m just doing life… 😉 I need a large white wine please…with ice in.’

Then after phone calls I was greeted by the most beautiful girl named Lexie and her gay friend from Manchester! (Who didnt sound northern at all!) They were great. So much fun! We did First Date selfies and basically got trashed.

Then these dudes from East London (who’d been trying to get our attention via the fine art of dance routines, under chandeliers) joined us…They were In Christmas jumpers, cheeky and wild! The manager kept having to come over and tell us all to ‘keep the noise down.’

It all went a bit mental then!

Every single person strutting up to the bar had just watched my episode of ‘First Dates!’ It was so strange but ace?? So many people love the show. It felt great!

Then the cheeky East London boys (who ALL had wives and girlfriends…) decided to take a shot at trying to see if they could get me to have sex with them.

Rolls Eyes!

This is my life!

Sometimes I think that maybe I’m just made for ‘entertainment’ and not real life true love.

Why can’t I have real life true love??

Me: ‘No thanks. You need to be thinking about your girlfriend mate!’

Staff: ‘Are you alright, Chrissie?’

Guy: ‘You only live once. My mum passed away. It taught me that! I’ve got a girlfriend, yeah. But I’m obviously not gonna miss out on an opportunity to be with you! If you want that!  You’re beautiful!’

Me: ‘What!!! No thanks. Your girlfriends beautiful. You should call her!’

Everyone was just getting glamourously Christmas drunk! But you need a blow out at times, don’t you!

I ended up puking! Sleeping in my dress. Waking up in my hotel feeling awful, with an untouched Macdonalds by my side…

It took me 3 hours to get out of bed..but as soon as I did..I walked to Kings Cross station, feeling the most hungover I’ve ever felt in my entire life…

I could’ve died. Nothing is worse than being at a train station…waiting…when rough! Plus, I was in heels because I forgot to pack flats. Plus, I had to through my extensions in the bin because they had sick on. Lol

Then fucking Liam calls me (who was currently filming a tv show) with a…

’I need a favour…’

So in my most hungover state at kings cross..I end up having to do his show!!

It was so much fun! But I couldn’t wait to get back to the babies!

An hour and a half later… I was thankfully back on northern soil!!

 

 

 

Next Time On First Dates….

Afternoony, my little trickles of glistening, tinsel torn, kitty wrap. (I don’t know what that means either? Just go with it.)  How are you? I’m great. But knackered. Family airport runs, kicked me in the ‘girl parts.’ I can’t open my eyes. At least if I had ‘goolies,’ it would cushion the blow. Infact, if I had ‘goolies,’ I wouldn’t WANT to open my eyes. I’m too awkward for ‘goolies.’

I love calling balls, ‘goolies…’ like the ‘Juicy’ velour joggers…I want to bring it back! 

I’m currently blogging from Ackworth Garden, by Baby Jesus and the 3 Wisemen. Hopefully some of their wisdom *rubs* off on me, (it’s usually other things that dudes try to rub off on me.)  But i’m feeling lucky!

I’m not too bothered about Baby Jesus, though? He’s been strapped down, by a beautiful chica named ‘Leoni’ who bakes reindeer buns and he now looks a little ‘bondage.’ If I glued studs onto him, he’d be winning at life.

Why am I trying to ruin Baby Jesus? He’s done nothing wrong? Can I get into trouble for that? I reckon i’ve done pretty well to not have already BURST INTO FLAMES, simply by being near ‘Godly’ looking characters.

UGH! I’m so tired!!

(And I’m already getting trolled by keyboard warriors. It’s only 17 minutes past noon. Gimme a break.) 

Okay. I’m gonna cut the crap.

*Slurps Americano.*

Last night, I stayed up to watch ‘First Dates,’ on Channel 4, because next MONDAY, 10pm, I’m on it and they always do the..

‘Next time on First Dates…’ thing, don’t they!

I actually love, that bit….Of course as well as the show! (It’s a great show because it combines, raw and real, surprise moments, with positive banter, dates and love.)

However, when it’s YOU, on the ‘Next time on First Dates…’ bit, it’s kinda surreal????

I haven’t been on telly, on a big show… in a really long time. In fact, it was almost 10 years. Time has flown!! As if it has been nearly 10 ENTIRE years, since I tried to be Paris Hiltons Bestie?? I must’ve got so old, without realizing.

They say that happens….

BUT, luckily,  i’ve managed to fit  a lot into that time. I’ve wiggled out two babies, had a marriage, a divorce, created a sex toy range, been on numerous dates, had a rubix cube of career changes, started a business and done everything in between.

It may not seem like it, but i’ve done alright. But more importantly, i’ve enjoyed it and also met so many wonderful people along the way.

I’ve  also ‘diaried’ it all out. ‘ALMOST’ every day. 😉 I’ve been hungover, busy, tired, scared or lazy, on the days that I skipped.

At least i’m still cocktailing….

You can’t win’em all…

But yeah, I’m much older. (37.) I’m much wiser. (NOT.) Yet, still just as annoying on the telly!! How can this BE!!!! At 20 something, I didn’t realize how annoying I was!!!??!!!  I thought I was ACE!?! Now, i’m like ‘WT *ACTUAL* F!!’

I’m going to take a ‘troll festival’ of online battering….

I usually never ever watch myself back, because like most people, I find myself SO CRINGE. I look different. I sound different But only to me and no one else?? Haha.

However, I can tell you this time, I couldn’t be more giddy, to watch life in the First Dates restaurant, as I strut in and try my hand at love, next Monday.

There’s just something about that place, that fills your heart with ‘ooh laa.’

There’s a magic in the air and it’s filled with goodness, life excitement and hope.

UGH! I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU, BUT I CAN’T!!!

Here’s the clip I saw, last night…

Me: ‘Why have you not told me that I have an annoying voice!?!’

Firmonnell (Chick Bestie) : ‘It’s not annoying. I love it. No one will be surprised by your voice, but YOU! Haha.’

Brett: ‘Your laugh definitely needs a bit of work..Lol…BUT your voice is just YOU!’

Sal: ‘She doesn’t have t tell you….Everyone else will have their cyber go at telling you…Lol’ 

Me: ‘No wonder men thing i’m weird!!!’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s not your voice…’

Me: ‘Can we blame my voice please…K’thanx..’

You need bits of banter to survive it…

(Your friends will have ya back, always! They’ll give you a good roasting, yet won’t let anyone else talk shit about you! Hahaha. The masses who might give ‘trolling’ a go, didn’t go through the what I did, what I have…Some of them, won’t ever have the opportunity to treasure such a moment…and a moment only has to last a second. That’s why it’s important to celebrate all that you are and all that you do…regardless!)

Anyway…

…even though i’m dashed with the ‘oh my goodness…’ reliving the moment will be nothing short of an absolute joy.

I mean that with all of my heart…

I’m the luckiest girl. ..and I love moments like this because you also get to actually SEE part of my life journey, in real life…instead of just in written word.

I mean, I talk about love, dating and all sorts, on a daily. You ask me questions about love, dating and all sorts on a daily, on my Insta Story.

That’s why it’s great to let you BE THERE AND SEE for yourselves, this time. Y’know, hear (Lord help you) and feel with me….It’s almost like letting a ‘book’ come alive! Letting words dance off a page…

If you follow this blog, you’ll get it. You will know how much LOVE means to me. It makes my heart flutter, my eyes glisten and my world go around in a ‘swirl.’

I’m never scared of hearing my heart break, because it’s broken and crunched so many times before, that it’s a trooper…It didn’t matter if I was here in the UK or in West Hollywood, my heart filled with glee and ‘ouchied,’ just as many times. 

But i’m still here smiling! I’ve always given love a go, whenever my heart tells me to, because I know how important it is. 

‘A life without love, is like a song without melody…’

What I’ve learnt about love, over the years is to take chances and that no matter what, your heart will always heal. Even if it takes years! It will always glue it’s pretty self back together and help you feel magic once more, BUT ONLY IF YOU LET IT. ONLY if you also LEARN from the bad times and stick at it. 

When i’m in love, I’m alive.  We all are….Even when we pretend we’re not! Even when we pretend we don’t need it. Sometimes, we fool ourselves….

(Wait! I just need to check to see how Baby Jesus is doing?)

I wish I had more sleep?

I wish I could tell you everything, now! But no can do! I have weeks of blog stories!!!

Why do I look like I rolled around in a pig sty of bronzer, whenever i’m on the telly… ? I look like an Asian Miss.Piggy! But I weirdly love it! It’s me. I’m me. I mean, fuck it, i’ve done it now, haven’t I!

Anyway,

My Inbox is now FULL of guys, asking me out on Dates?  It’s mental. It’s like a spaghetti junction of lost penis.

One guy’s sent me this…

‘Let me take you on a date next week…Lunch and then a random activity.x’

Random Activity?? Hahaha. I’m terrified!  Isn’t that just the same as ‘Netflix and Chill?’ 😉

Code for:

‘Hey Baby, let me give you snacks, then bone you…’

I will tell you that my friends are filled with utter glee, by the simple fact that i’ve actually gone this far to find love….Hahaha..

‘I can’t believe you’re actually on it!!!’

‘I cannot believe you’re doing a First Dates!!’

‘I feel so sorry for your date!! Haha.’

‘I am so excited, because there is no actual way, that you don’t make a dick of yourself! Haha!!’

‘As if, you went on a blind fucking date on the telly! Lol!!’

‘I love this!!!’

‘Can’t wait for this! So low key of you! Haha’

‘Your annoying voice, has just filled my living room.’

‘There’s no way, he’s asked for a girl like you.. Haha.’

So yeah….

Monday, 10 pm, Channel 4….You get to watch me, strut into the ‘First Dates’ restaurant in hope to find true love…..

Wish me luck…

Chrissie, x

ps/ A guy has just sent me this message…

‘So, what ya saying babe…3 pics of ya tits, 2 of ya ass and i’ll transfer £400 to you…’

THEN sent me a screenshot of a bank transfer to a girl who had said ‘yes’ and agreed..

Where have all the good men gone?? 

 

Tiki Bars, Exes, Massage Chairs & Anal Thumping…

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

I keep having this recurring dream, where i’m in a Tiki bar (lol..ofcourse,) with the same faces, that I don’t know in REAL life, but know like best friends in ‘dream land.’ (Hahah. Don’t ask!) In this Tiki Bar, there are really exotically, lavish looking cocktails. The one I always see in my dream, is the one that comes in a ceramic,sort of zombie, hula dancer’talldrinky cup…and it ‘moonwalks‘ backwards, around the rim of peoples wooden Tiki tables, as they *wink* at strangers and I watch on.

That’s all normal.

(In my world.)

But last night, I dreamt that Mike, my first husband was there (in this Tiki Bar..He’d hate that) and we were falling back in love, but sexily. (I don’t love him, don’t worry. My dream just wanted me to.) We kept feeling it each other up lovingly and cuddling all the time? It was almost as if he was the ‘key’ to all my life happiness.

Then we went back to a dark hotel and had ‘dream land’ sex. But it felt like we were in New York, high in the sky. I remember looking out of a window that looked over the city. 

I got zapped out of that! I *blinked* and everything had disappeared. 

Then…

…all of a sudden ‘Boyband Jonny,’ who I used to date years ago, straight after the Hilton Show, *popped* up in my dream. He’s Gay now. In fact, he was Gay, all along. He just didn’t realize it, at the time, when he dated me. He mixed up fancying me, for simply finding me fabulous. I’m probably the only girl, he’s ever had ‘half sex’ with. He said, I broke his heart. I didn’t though. I was simply ‘key’ to him discovering himself.

I like Jonny, he’s cool. He was actually a great boyfriend. He wrote me a love letter, when I left in a taxi. I am extremely happy, that HE is happy now, he’s found himself and utter true love. 

I don’t mind an unfortunate bit of ‘heart break,’ if it’s helpful. 

HOWEVER…

I do hate it when my exes hijack my dreams!!! Especially,when i’m at a Tiki Bar, (do they not have dream land’ manners.) A Tiki bar, by the way, is my favourite kind of bar in the whole wide world. (If i could own one, I would. Yet, not for profit, just for kicks.)

I want to be able to have my heart broken, storm into my Tiki, BE pissed off, put on my hula skirt, and sip rum out of a flaming fired coconut, with a cocktail umbrella in my hair, as I  pull faces and cry.

I’d have to own it, simply because I wouldn’t want to get my ‘sorry, hula, ass’ up and pay my tab , whilst crying. I’d need Tiki minions for that.

It’d make ‘hearkbreak’ much easier.

I just can’t get away from being haunted by my exes. Why??

STUPID CUPID, you’re A REAL MEAN, guy.

I’m even getting tattoos shortly, to both celebrate and at the same time REMIND ME of things that happened to me this year…

AGAIN, I’ve had a big year of change and I need to remember it. I want to remember it. So I’m going to Tattoo it.

Ofcourse…Lol

(I haven’t had a tattoo in a million years.)

I was telling Ruby, in bed, last night…and even SHE *paused,* laughed and said..

‘Oh my GOD! Don’t get THAT ONE!!!’

She’s SEVEN! Hahaha. She looked at me like I was ‘whacked.’

Hurrah! Flaming Coconut Drinks for everyone!

Yesterday, I was doing bits of Christmas shopping, at The Frenchgate Centre, in Doncaster, and I decided to go on the ‘Put £1 in it’ massage chairs.

I love a massage.

I love a moment, where you can just hit *pause* and relax for a second, during the bustle. That’s why I used to love Prosecco Pit Stop. (Which no longer exists.)

Woe is me….

BUT, OH MY GOODNESS!

I haven’t actually been on a massage chair in YEARS. Let me tell you. They HAVE IMPROVED!!

I’m sat there, slightly awkward, slightly in public, slightly okay with it though. I’m used to winging an awkward situation and making it look glam. (Hilton taught me well.)

The money goes in the slot and HOLY SHIT, that CHAIR, MADE LOVE TO ME.

It caressed and moaned and rubbed and loved. It oozed. It cared. It romanced and it danced.

THEN…OUT OF NOWHERE…

THE massage chair STARTS ******* BATTERING ME. It starts PUNCHING MY BACK with glee. Then BASHING MY HEAD, FROM SIDE TO SIDE. (Haha.) It starts SQUEEZING THE LIFE, out of my little Asian ribs …and WORST OF ALLEMBEDDED IN THE CHAIR, MUST HAVE BEEN AN ANAL THUMPER…

HAHAHA…

SOMETHING KEPT RISING UP, IN THE CHAIR AND THUMPING ME UP THE BUM, BUM….

..REPEATEDLY!!!!!

HAHAHA.

I couldn’t make it stop and I kept having to pretend, everything was lovely, because I was in public and my daughter was stood next to me. LOL

Do I just have this affect on everything!?! Nothing can just LOVE ME FOREVER, without aggressively Anal thumping me? It started so ‘steadily.’ It loved me. IT DID!!! Then just went MAD and started being hateful or horny????

THEN, when the abused had finished, the chair went on to *SQUEEZE* by legs to death (and my legs are pathetic like Bambi…But luckily, it all suddenly *stopped.*

BUT my legs had got TRAPPED!!! (Hahaha)

WHAT THE ******* IS MY LIFE!!!

I thought the deal was that I only had to ‘suffer’ through the LOVE part of my existence…NOT the ACTUAL other bits of actual LIFE TOO!

ANAL THUMPING!

I put FIFTY SHADES TO SHAME.

Who needs, a RED ROOM? In fact, who needs a fucking husband!?!

I want another go!!!

Ruby was there trying to free my legs, but laughing so hard, she was in tears. MY MUM KNEW, bad stuff was going to happen to me, so instead of protecting me, she decided to FILM the horror.

I’m sure she’s secretly like, ‘I paid shit loads of money to put you through school, you WILL become a STAR, even if I have to FORCE IT, film it and get the insta likes FOR YOU!!’

Then I get home, needing 72 wines, a bit of calm and a spot of telly and all that’s on is a ‘Come Dine With Me’ episode with a Farmer, who has made everyone horny with BEETROOT, by fireworks and an ex body building Geordie, in a purple towel, who’s baked a pie?

I LOVE ‘COME DINE WITH ME.’ (I once got asked to go on the show, but didn’t go on it, because I didn’t want to cook for everyone…which obviously is the whole point. Haha.)

I don’t even cook for my own children, let alone strangers. (Ruby at 7, could probably be a fine dining, food critic, she’s eaten out THAT much.)

Bottom line, I was passing time before ‘X Factor,’ followed by a dose of ‘I’m a Celeb.’

After the massage chair, I wasn’t in the mood for watching pies being made…I either needed a documentary on GOD, TO heal my broken soul, like a prayer. OR just go the other way and find something on the lines of ‘Debbie Does Dallas.’

This time next week, I’m on FIRST DATES!!! 

I’M ON FIRST DATES, NEXT MONDAY!!!

I actually can’t wait to watch tonight’s episode. It’s almost like a starter, for my ‘next week’ main! 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fights, Sulking & True Love…

I had such a stressy night. All was well. All was wonderful. The Babies and I were a delight. All was sound, as we gathered in our *comfies* and watched telly, by the Christmas tree, with snacks.

Junior got the ‘Special Mention’ at school, so was filled with happiness. Ruby was overjoyed that it was finally the weekend, so she could relax. They had survived their consecutive day, ‘School Accident Form’ doo/dah and life was simply BLISS. (Junior was cute because when passing, he heard teachers talking about Ruby in the office. She had just had a fall. He stopped and asked if he could go see her in her classroom. Once granted, he went in and hugged her, to make sure she was okay. Aww! Lol)

Bliss! Delight! Let’s Call Disney & Tell Them To Make A Movie!

THEN…

…my Mum pops around, we have a massive fight, and everything turns to shit. We’re both really strong headed, so it’s annoying, when we bicker. The thing about my Mum is that, she’s about to go on Holiday for 2 weeks. Even though she loves a holiday, (don’t we all,) every single INCH of HER worries about the babies and I, during her absence. She a proper family woman. A great mum. But she’s nuts.

After the sharp bicker, that played almost like a swift, yet verbal knife throw, I got so bored of sitting there awkwardly, (y’know when you just sit there, being silent and pulling faces, so everyone in the room KNOWS your mad, Lol) that I did the only thing I knew how to do, as a daughter.

That was stand up, storm out of the room, perform a giant, angry hair toss, fling my glitter shoes at a wall and strut upstairs, stomping on every step. Haha. I then wet wiped all my face OFF, took off all my clothes OFF and with a *HUFF* went OFF to bed!!

All. Lights.Out.

The art of ‘SULKING’ is exhausting. I hate it. I tossed and turned all night.

I’m such a Sasserilla, when I think i’m right, that my opponent has NO CHANCE.

Then I had this dream that I was high in the sky, amongst the clouds , but falling out of a plane, tied to Talique from ‘I’m a Celebrity.’ I’m not sure if it was a ‘losing control’ kinda dream or a sexy one? I can’t quite decide? Haha. But yes, I’ve woken up fine, but stressed…even though everything’s kinda gone back to normal. It’s made me feel unbalanced.

We do this, The Wunna’s….We have these ‘Blow Outs’ and then everything goes back to normal, straight away…and mainly because if not, I WILL SULK FOREVER. 😉 I’m a proper grudge holder, until I hear a sincere apology.

Honestly, I’m awful for a ‘sulk sesh.’ I’m not really good at it, but I FULLY COMMIT to it. I’m loyal and brimming with pride. I’m also vain, so I like to look good when I sulk. Haha. It’s great when you’re sulking, after a fight with a guy who’s attracted to you, because their willies kick into action and you always win the war.

I think there’s a problem with me because there’s no grey area. There’s no fuzzy, static channel. It’s all swift flying emotion, or nothing at all. That’s with BOTH happiness & despair. I’d sort it, if I could be bothered.  But there’s cocktails to sip and I kinda like who I am.

Anyway…

(I currently have ‘Thanku, Next’ playing in the background. How is Ariana Grande’s voice so beautiful? She literally sounds like a dream. She can take any song and swirl it with a sound of smooth, angelic empowerment. I wish I could sing. I wish I could ice skate.)

So, I got this strange Snapchat message, yesterday evening. No. It wasn’t strange. It was actually lovely. Really lovely. The kind of message that I adore.

‘You’re so beautiful. X’

I’m classing it as ‘strange’ simply because I didn’t expect it to pop up, (I had to double take) and then I couldn’t decide if it was friendly, suggestive, by accident, all of the above, or even correct of him? I already know the guy closely. I just didn’t expect it, because he’s not in the correct ‘relationship status’ box.

That’s not cool.

However, I understand what he’ll be going through right now, because i’m going through the exact same thing…So he could’ve just had a couple of gins and let a mixture of his memories, his heart and his ‘really big’ willy take the lead.

I saved the conversation on purpose to terrify him…Boys sometimes need to feel terrified. They can’t have their cake and eat it. Even if they think they can…

I’m fine with the message though. I’ve done the ‘ginned up’ message numerous times, through life. So, I get it. My messages are always tragic though, because I don’t have a willy. (I might grow one, for kicks though.)

I wish I could just *blink* and be having fun in a Leeds cocktail bar right now.

Why am I so grumpy today???

I’m missing ‘The Swirl.’

 

 

A Little Bit Of Inspiration & Dudes

‘Did *what’s his face* message you?’

‘He doesn’t as much now. He DM’d me the other day, but it was mucky, so I ignored it.’

‘What about the Naughty Swede? Hahaha.’

‘Yeah. He sent me voice notes at the weekend and on Tuesday, saying he has time of work. Hopes to see me sometime. Hopes i’m well..’

‘What did you say?’

‘I just wished him well. What can I say??’

The Swede is always lovely when he voice notes. Yet, it’s strange how other guys can only seem brave enough to talk ‘sexy’ to me. I don’t know whether it’s because they just see me as ‘sex.’ (Which I don’t like. I’m a lot more than a pulsing vagina, whether they like it or not.)

I don’t know whether it’s because THEY THINK, that’s how I’d like a guy to be, after seeing a couple of big boobied pics? I don’t whether it’s because they feel more comfortable emotionally with that approach? I just don’t get it? I just don’t know?

But right now, it’s not a priority. So I don’t seem to care. I don’t have time to aimlessly amuse a guy and ‘tickle his fancy’ on lonely nights. I have better things to do.

In this phase of my life, I would only have time for a guy, who made an actual effort.

Everyone else gets chucked in ‘fuck it’ bucket. Cya!

Sacha Not Fierce: ‘You’re such a DIVA!! Haha.’

I had my opening conversation via Whatsapp on my phone, during a foggy school run, this morning. I was strutting through a playground, in glitter heels, my specs and with a bag of shin pads in my hand. Oh! And I also had a little half Asian Baby attached to my leg…Luckily it was mine, which kinda saved any awkward situations.

(I was once in Camden and someone else’s child had got lost and accidentally attached itself to my leopard print faux fur. I hadn’t even had Ruby yet, so I remember looking down in terror. Then I realized it was a small child. So I smiled and said, ‘Life isn’t going to be better with me, Lovely! Let’s find your Mum.’)

 Big Kisses! Big Kisses! See you at 3.30pm!!! At 3.30, it’s the weekend, Babies!!!

Junior: ‘I love you MUM.’

Ruby: ‘When i’m older, i’m gonna be rich, just so I can have assistants.’

I’ve got so much going on right now, that i’m kinda just focusing on ME!! It may seem like I do that quite a lot. However, I actually really don’t. I get distracted by things easily. I put other things first. I sometimes give ‘distractions’ unnecessary priority.

But, at the end of the day, I’m a boobied Glamour Puss, not a Sergeant Major. That’ll happen. Yet, it shouldn’t happen ALL the time. I was INCREDIBLY motivated when I was a 20 something. You could see a ‘fire’ in my little Asian eyes. Now you see a ‘giggle.’ But the ‘fire’ is coming back.

It needs to come back, pronto. I think i’ve left under a bed sheet somewhere?

Sasha Not Fierce: ‘I don’t think you get distracted. I think you get bored and when you’re bored, you *hobby* boys, things, drama….anything, just to occupy your brain.’

‘Well, i’m not bored right now, i’m busy….’

Sasha:  ‘EXACTLY!’ And that’s why your focus is on YOU, Sassy Pants.’

Me: ‘I think I need botox?’

Old School Friend & School Mum (As i’m running back to my car):

‘CHRISSIE WUNNA!! I was having my cuppa tea this morning and WHO popped onto my screen!?! I nearly I died! I choked on it! Haha. I couldn’t even believe it. I was like OH MY GOD!! It’s…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. It’s shocked everyone. But yeah, it’s on Dec 3rd…’

‘Well, I’ll DEFINITELY be watching!!! Good luck! Haha.’

Monday, December 3rd, 10pm, Channel 4. ‘First Dates.’ Set ya tellies!

‘I’ve been thinking about ‘The Swirl’ aka ‘T Bone’ a lot. He’s in my head. But he’s in my head because I miss him and i’m inspired by him. I need inspiration right now. He’s someone that’s really GOOD at focusing on what matters to him and balancing it all appropriately.

He sees the big picture and gives everything his all.  Now, I look back. I get it…because i’ve kinda found myself in the exact same position as he was in. I hope I see him in the near future….But I kinda probably won’t.

I’m also inspired by Toby, we know I am. He’s a life soldier. He’s a fighter. He’ll smash the upcoming Winter Olympics and again he’s someone who seems to stay very focused, without letting the art of ‘tango’ or ‘distraction’ get the better of him.

I’m glad that I briefly crossed paths with him, because he reminded me to take life and opportunity into my own hands. Like I used to!

It must be one of the keys to success. Both guys are sportsmen though. Maybe they’re taught that mentality, every day…

You’re a product of your environment right?

Saying that, Mike wasn’t at all a sportsmen? My first husband. (My Little Mikey Ray.) I’d already  had a few  dreams come true, so I knew that anything could happen. MY parents taught me that anything could happen if I tried, because they made THEIR OWN dreams come true. Mum came over here with only £17 in her pocket and built an entire EMPIRE by herself…

As did my Father, who trundled to the UK with his fingers crossed. He ended up being a bone surgeon and building his surgeries, across the lands.

Mum: ‘Yeah, then we had you. We thought we had it all sorted and you turned around and said you wanted to be a MODEL!! Hahaha! I was like, GOD!! RAY! What are we gonna do?? We know nothing about entertainment!!!??!!!’

(But i’m sure that can’t be true because my dad ABSOLUTELY bought The Sun Newspapers ‘Page 3’ Calendar every year and put it up in the living room. Haha. It didn’t even bother my Mum because she’s cool. Maybe HE inspired me! Lol. )

Whilst he did that, my mum took me around to every single dance class, agent, performing arts school, competition, audition, acting class, ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

You name it…I was there, from being about 7 years old onwards…and this was at the same time as doing school. I went to a Private Boarding School. I had a wonderful time at school. But you kinda had to smash it academically and perform. It wasn’t like you could toss it off and play ‘absent.’ It was competitive. But I liked that, because there was still a warmth!

Plus, all the kids there WANTED to do well. There wasn’t a single pupil there would ever turn around and say, ‘I can’t be arsed to be here.’

We LOVED being at school. It was like a resort, a well protected bubble.

There was no ‘hanging out by the bike sheds, sipping cider.’ It was all. ‘Have you signed up to golf, or pony trekking? I’m bored, do you want a quick round of tennis before tea? ’ Lol.

I remember getting pulled out of class, during my G.C.S.E years, to go shoot a campaign, or audition for a pop band..(lol) Everywhere I went as a child, to compete during this time…Sheridan Smith (who is huge now) was there, with her mum. Doing the exact same thing.

Everything must have been so hectic for my Mum. Yet to me it seemed busy, but it was just so fun and easy. However, I’m now only GOOD at working under pressure. I can only be productive when I have A LOT GOING ON. Otherwise, I get bored…and when i’m bored, you’ll know about it.

Meghan: ‘You’re never home! You’re always out and about.’

I still came out the other ‘G.C.S.E’ end, with 9 A’s, a couple A *’s and a B (for Maths!) I am RUBBISH AT SUMS. I can’t be bothered to add.

Miss. Liddle: ‘Did you see my SEESAW post!!! I’ve found what Junior’s good at! I tested him on his timetables. I put them in front of him, didn’t help him at all…and he got them all right! I was like YES!!!! Look in his bag!’

FINALLY!!!! BLISS! I COULD’VE CRIED! (But really! I could’ve cried!)

So, I have one child that’s a glamour puss and loves poetry, reading, success and beauty. Then another who loves maths, building, codes and logic.

Wait! I’ve got distracted again!

SHIT! I was meant to be talking about how I watched Mike’s dreams come true!!! Haha!

So yes…Forget all that. It must be all lies, because I seem to be good at making everything about ME, most of the time! 😉

BACK TO DREAMS COME TRUE…

Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough…SOME dreams come true, but I reckon,  they come true because people work HARD, and succeed on purpose. They put everything in place, so that one day, when an opportunity for ‘dreams come true’ comes their way…THEY’RE READY!!

That’s all you have to do, right? Put yourself in a good place and the right place. The rest you leave to life magic and keep your fingers crossed. There’s always an element, a force beyond your control.

I WATCHED Mike’s dreams come true, with my very eyes. I watched him go, from wondering how he was going to  afford a Burger King, to doing a scene with Tom Cruise, in a movie, as I sat in a cinema.

I watched us never go out, because we had auditions the next day. I watched us once having to run out of The Saddle Ranch without paying our tab, to then a year later being sat at a five star restaurant, at dinner, on Valentine’s Day, next to Tom Hanks and his wife.

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! AT ANY POINT.

That’s why I hate it when people give up, because they stop believing. They run out of ‘fight.’

I mean, there are always moments where I sit with my head in my hands, thinking ‘FOR THE LOVE OF ABSOLUTE GOD!!’

But every time, I just take a deep breath, swig a wine and get on with it.

Don’t run out of hope. Don’t run out of ‘fight.’ Keep karma on your side, always, because HOLY SHIT, it can be a BITCH.

Love. Live.

Try not to doubt yourself. Focus on how far you’ve come. It’ll impress you.  It’ll stretch you that little bit further over the line, to get you where you want to be.

Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s depressing. Be inspired by them. But don’t compare your life chapter, to theirs. You don’t know what they’re going through behind an Instagram Pic.

Don’t let other people get you down. It’s your version of life, not theirs. Celebrate YOUR story. I’ve never had anyone ‘hate’ on me, who’s actually doing better than me. 😉 Use any ‘hate’ to motivate you.

I call it ‘Operation: Watch Me Now, Boo.’

Make the right choices FOR YOU. After years of sometimes making really bad choices and failing miserably, over and over again, I will actually tell you that it made me smarter. It made me stronger. Made me wiser.

HOWEVER, some of those opportunities were opportunities that really only come around ONCE in a LIFETIME. Lol.  I properly fucked them up because I was distracted. I had to find another tunnel and dig my way to the light. Save yourself some time. Haha.

Stay focused.

I would’ve preferred to have made the right decision in the first place.

I hear a lot of wise people advising others to ‘fail as much as possible.’ And I get that. It’s true. It makes you mighty in the end. You shouldn’t be scared to’ get back up when you fail,’ I guess is the message. Yet, DO KNOW that whenever i’ve made a GOOD DECISION (yes, that HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED BEFORE) and done something right the FIRST TIME ROUND…. It hasn’t felt bad AT ALL. It’s actually felt WONDERFUL!! Haha.

I feel like Dr.Phil. Wait! No I don’t because i’m about to shoot topless on a space hopper, with a martini glass in my hand, for my birthday Insta pics.

We all have different lives. Do yours well!

I wonder what ‘Fairytale, ‘Hustle Barbie, Mel, Firmonnell and Double B are all doing? I haven’t caught up with them in ages.

I’m getting a Flash back of a time when Double B, Fairytale and I were all sat ON THE PAVEMENT, outside some building in Leeds, after a night out, waiting for Prince Jonny, at around 2am, some morning. Double B had her shoes off and some drunk Ginger guy thought we were homeless and threw change at us!

Hahah….

Blending Out Bullies, My Love Life &The Future….

Afternoon, My Cheeky Little Treats!

This morning, I woke up all stressed and anxious.I don’t even know why. Then little bits of life, that respond to the names ‘Ruby & Junior’ filled my world with giggles…At that point, everything was okay again.

I’m having one of those days. One of those days when you need to crawl back into bed, speak to no one for a second, have a moment, y’know…a ‘word with yourself’ and start it all over again.

SIGHS….

However, life is rooting for me, because after the early school run, I looked down at my phone, as I watched my petrol station Costa coffee, trickle out the machine and waved at one of the Dads I know.

Anyway….I saw this on Glamour Magazines Twitter ‘Moments.’

..and it reminded me that not only did I have a purpose, but doing pretty alright at inspiring and standing up for love, myself and for others, who may not quite yet have the balls to ‘sing out loud.’

I’m really proud of the ‘Blend out Bullying‘ campaign and I’m so glad that I joined Glamour Magazines crusade to wave ‘Cya’ to Cyber bullies.

That made me smile. I skipped away from the gas station…(Sorry! I mean .PETROL station. I still think American, for some reason.) Anyway, I skipped away like the happiest bunny in all of the land, because they reminded me that no matter what, in life, I did something that helped make a difference, to someone, somewhere.

(I’d like to see MORE people ‘Blending out Bullying.’ You’re the STAR of YOUR OWN SHOW. Make a difference. See love, not dollar signs.)

As if my favourite magazine is showing Wunna Land some love…and AS IF, I appear on my favourite tv how in a couple weeks.

I’m having to pinch my kitty self…. (Ooh…Vodka spurted out. 😉 ) 

Anyway…

Last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote a blog, in the dark, whilst in bed. I’m utterly CRINGING at myself, right now. YET, I promised myself that I would flipping post it, because it’s how I truly felt, at that particular moment…at that precis time…

AND SINCE THAT’S WHAT I’M ABOUT…

*Rolls eyes…*

Here’s what I wrote…

(Rewind to last night…)

 

I’m literally sat up in bed writing this, because I can’t sleep. It’s only early. I guess around 9.30pm? But everything around me seems so still. So quiet, I feel really calm, yet my mind (as always) is fluttering. It’s busy. It’s racing. I’ve poured a wine, which is sat on my bedside table. I’m typing in the dark. I have no clue why, I couldn’t be bothered to switch a light on? I can’t see my keys, so I feel like I’m typing blind. But it weirdly feels amazing. It kinda feels really real. How all my writing should be done.

I can’t stop thinking about my life tonight and I don’t know why? I want to succeed and make all my dreams come true. Y’know, just do really well, because when you do well at the things you love…you glow and no feeling is better than that. That’s not what i’m thinking about though. I don’t even know why I typed that out?

I’m thinking about my love life.

I know! Surprised right?

I’ve just got back from a late night trip to the supermarket…to buy wine. An elderly lady stopped me. I’ve seen her around a lot. I do know her a little bit. But It usually makes her day when she sees me, because i’ll always stop and chat to her. I love making time for her. I love making her day.

Anyway…

She always tells me how much she loves me because ‘it’s good to see a girl BEING a girl…’

Tonight she told me, that I was pretty…’a beautiful girl,’ but then added…

‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’

I smiled, I thanked her. She was so cute and I adored every minute of seeing her.  I love the elderly, because they’re wise. Even the rude ones are wise. I always respect their words and absorb what they have to say. Times and things may have changed, yet how people FEEL haven’t. You can always, always learn a life lesson from an old lady or gent.

However yeah…

‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’

She’s right!!

Don’t get in a tizzy, as i’m never one to really listen to what others think…But she’s left my mind ticking. She must have. I’m sat up in bed, in my bra and glasses, typing the dark because I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about what she said?

Now, i’ve never really felt lonely. I never feel alone because my world, the world I created ‘Wunna Land,’ is filled with love. I’m surrounded by life. I have a close family, who stand by me. Ruby and Junior, my babies…Their hearts are filled with utter joy for Mama. I have some great friends. Good company at times. I have a mini sized audience, and most of all…I have me.

(I’ve always been my own best friend. I’ve always been really comfortable being ME and i’m happy with what I stand for. Yeah. I’ve disappointed myself loads, through the years. But on the whole…I’m more than happy with who I am. Who i’ve become.)

Right now, I don’t feel lonely. But why don’t I? I should, right? But I don’t…(Even the little old lady feels bad for me, now and she shouldn’t! Haha.)

I almost feel like i’m bubbling over with this exotic life force of happy juice?

It doesn’t matter what you do, provided you don’t harm others, or yourself and you are happy with your official life choices, right?

I know that i’m single and i’m aware that i’m knocking on a bit now. I feel young spirited, yet glad to be a 30 something, as I accidentally brought wisdom and dignity along with me, on my little journey.

God knows how???

I CERTAINLY thought, i’d lost BOTH at one point. I was positive I left them in some bar in LA, when I was 24. Yet, they found me. (And whenever I say God, I am always referring to ‘Bacchus’, The God of Wine.)

Yipppppppeeeeeeeee!

I know, I must NOT be scared to be alone…as I still seem quite happy to go through life picking through boys, and walking away from marriages, because they hurt my soul.

They just weren’t right, because I compromised my heart, myself, or I just wasn’t thinking….

I said ‘YES’ to those marriages impulsively, because I’m a hopeless romantic and I fall in love, when I FEEL excited and I do it so madly…so deeply.

But I  haven’t felt like that in ages.

The last guy that made me feel like that was ‘The Swirl.’ (Who i sometimes name ‘T Bone.’

When I don’t feel excited, I find it really easy to ‘shrug’ the moment off, with a ‘he’s just not the right guy.’

But I like that about me. I know how I feel and i know what love and excitement feels like. When it hits me again, I’ll notice. Yet this time i’ll be ready.

I don’t think there’s an age, when you SHOULD find love. I don’t say anything, but I hate it when I hear chicks, say, ‘I need to be married by 30.’ Or, ‘I need to find Mr.Right by the time i’m…’

You really don’t.

Love to me is always about chemistry…

I’ll find it, but this time I want the real deal.

THE REAL DEAL …

and i’ll wait forever, until I find it.

Until I feel it.

The next time I marry, (if I marry, I can’t decide if it’s an old school concept? I might be ‘blah’ about it because i’ve done it so many times and it hasn’t been right?) I’ll marry the most exceptional man. He’ll be a GREAT MAN. An incredible man…and I DO intend to one day find the man of my dreams. I fully intend on doing that…

Yet, if I don’t…I’m fine with that also. I don’t know why? I guess, I’m like this because i’m happy, right now? Maybe, it’ll kick in when i’m 80 and seriously alone, with all my cats and no one to love.

Knowing me, I’ll still feel fine and pour a rum, for everyone else, in the old peoples home, as I wink at Jeff, with the dodgy back.

If i’m being honest, unlike work, where I create my own opportunities, I kinda expect HIM (The man of my dreams)  to find ME. (Lazy, I know. Lol) I find that far more romantic. I’m traditional like that. Old school romance just gets me going…I’m finding i’m both. I love the art of old school romance, mixed with a modern day twist of unconventional, yet unconditional love.

(Mouthful much!)

I might have already crossed paths with him? I might not…Who knows? I’m just not worried about it and if you’re in the same situation as me, you don’t need to be worried about it either.

DON’T WORRY!

So, yeah….

*SLURPS WINE*

Let’s just go with he’ll find me…

Every single part of my kitten soul, says he’ll find me.

He’ll come get me…

But he’s not as pathetic as I am, so he won’t be slurping wine out the bottle, typing in the dark, in a bra and glasses. 😉

He won’t be sat awake typing a ‘Dear Diary….’ post, because a lovely old lady in the supermarket was worried about his well being.

YET…

..he’ll see the beauty in it…and think, SHIT, that’s exactly the kinda girl I both want and NEED.

I like to feel needed….

I’ve noticed that… (I get that from my Mum.)

Cheers! Hurrah! Sadness for everyone! Haha.

But yes..

There’s a single guy, somewhere in the world right now, who is utterly MADE to be my life buddy, my other half, my ‘bestie, bestie’…my soulmate…my  guy.

And I completely trust that LIFE (you jolly old thing) will have my back and send him my way, with bells on…but when the timing is exactly right.

He may already know it, or he may not? He may have no clue? He may have never ever heard of Wunna land, or even ever met me yet…?

OR, he may already be in my phone contacts…

Who knows…?

But i’m excited…Are you?

(ps/ I don’t even know if i’m gonna post this, because I usually wake up in the morning and cringe at what i’ve ‘tipper tappered.’ My mind goes wild and my keyboard fingers get all excited!! Yet, no matter how cringe, I feel, I’ll promise myself NOW, that I’ll just post it anyway… I mean **** it. It’s exactly how I felt at 9.30pm, on Nov 14th, 2018, right? And that’s what this story, this diary, my lil’ version of life, is all about.)

I messaged Toby back last night, because he had thanked me for writing the blog about him. He was quite the gentleman about the blog…He’s a utterly real being. He’s not dashed in fakery, from the brief bits I know.

Toby: ‘You’ve captured me pretty well in your blog..’

Me: ‘I’m either a really good judge of character, or just really good at stalking. Lol’ 

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

 

pps/ I’ve got a school mums dinner tonight and i’m excited. I’m meant to be at a film premiere…But I opted for the Mamas, over the red carpet. 😉

 

 

The Hustle, Hollywood & I’m Back On Your Telly

Only do the things you love. LIVE. Yet, always stay loyal to the things that you believe are right for YOU.  They’re the things that will always make you happy. Stay true to what you KNOW you love and that way, you’ll succeed. You’ll go far, provided you always stay grounded and remember where you came from.

I promise.

So! My good news phone call…everyone’s been messaging me about it. I feel like I can definitely tell you about it now, as the trailer goes out this Friday and it airs December 3rd, on Channel 4.

I will be telling you everything about it as we go along…so do not fret. I will also be referring you back to the time after I had filmed the episode…to actually bring you into the ‘what happened next.’

J: ‘Yeah! I got the call! We’re finally on!’

(I don’t know what’s up with ‘J’ right now. We were really good friends and now he’s all weird and distant.) 

Me: ‘I know!!! I’m so excited! I can’t wait!!’

Production Team: ‘Chrissie, you literally sound like the most excited person,i’ve ever heard. It’s nice.’

I’m gonna be back on your telly screens after years of getting married, divorced, growing babies etc….I’ve actually waited over a YEAR, for this to air. (I filmed it August 11th of LAST YEAR!!!)

And i really wanted it to air, because I wanted to relive it. I wanted to feel it again. I wanted it to come ‘alive.’ In life, you only so often get the opportunity to add to your glitter bucket of ‘life experience’ and this experience was probably one of THE BEST experiences, I ever had… in my entire life.

I kinda feel really honoured, really grateful and utterly ‘little girl’ excited…and it’s moments like this, that make me beam.

It’s such a great memory, that’s going to get brought to life. But i’m gonna tell you more about it later, as I go along….

Just know, that i’m back on your telly December 3rd, 10pm, on Channel 4.

I have a ‘Favourite show’ and it’s so surreal, because i’m about to appear on it. I’ve filmed a lot of things, yet this is the best thing i’ve ever had the joy of being a part of.

I have LOTS TO TELL YOU, once it airs….and little bits for you to tinker with before you get to enjoy it.

Always do the things that make you happy and you’ll know if they do, because you’ll feel alive. You’ll feel excited. You’ll FEEL a rush, buzzing through your system. You’ll have this smile on your face that you can’t seem to wipe off…

That’s how you know you’re happy, i guess?

Away from that…

I was talking to some of my LA friends this morning and we were reliving our Hollywood days. I remember waking up, going to the gym, doing brunch, smashing audition, after audition, all around the town, hearing a ‘no,’ more than I heard a ‘yes,’ but feeling ALIVE, whenever that ‘YES’ CAME.

I was ready for it.

I wanted you to Google Toby yesterday, because I admired him for his fight. He’s just like I am. I remember being a kid a young 20 something in LA. I had an acting agent. I actually agent 2 weeks, after arriving from Yorkshire, on my own, with nothing but a suitcase in my hand.

I knew no one..But I found my way so easily. I went to acting school, I found a place to live. I got a job. I made really great friends. I learnt my craft and that town, until I knew it like the back of my hand. I found a way to put myself in every correct place, at every correct time. I worked hard. I got distracted. I married young. I forgot why I was there…

I’ve seen so much. I’ve seen so much, that your heart would skip 40 beats, per view.

Anyway, when I was a kid, I was going out on auditions…Not as many as I was hoping for. I was hearing about the roles, from friends, but not getting out on the casting.

I could’ve sat and twiddled my thumbs. But I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t. But I didn’t. What i did, was find out about every single role going…that I was right for. I managed to find a friend, who had all the breakdowns of all the jobs, that they were casting for daily, for tv shows and movies in LA. I paid him, to send me them, every morning, by 8am.

Every morning, I would head to Kinkos with my headshot, resume and a bunch of envelopes and pay to use the internet (I had a home all of the time, I was there. But there was a couple weeks where I lived out of my car.) It’s sounds harsh. But it wasn’t. Lots of struggling actors do, out there.

Every morning I’d head to Kinkos, by 8am, to recieve the breakdowns on my emails…then I’d pick the roles that I was suitable for, put everything in the correct envelopes and use a direct ‘hand to hand’ mail service to take my headshot, straight to casting, before noon, unde r the guise that my agent had done so.

I was already SAG (you have to be, to work professionally, out there. You need your SAG card. They give you an opportunity to work hard for one.) I did that by doing hours of extra work on E.R daily, at Warner Bros, until I received all my vouchers. You needed 3, to become SAG. It’s not easy. But I had buddied up to the guy in charge of the extras and he gave me my vouchers…one at a time, sporadically….after a few months. (Which is good going.)

Long story short…

I got called in to audition, almost every single day for all tv shows, from my ‘magic mail box’ as I called it. For everything. The O.C, Charmed, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Will & Grace..You name it…

Casting would call my agent, because I had made like they had sent the submission. I used to even call casting, pretending to be my agent, saying that I had this girl, called ‘Chrissie’ that they needed to see.

I already knew a few people in casting, as I had enrolled in classes that they taught, that put me right in front of them…Plus, I had already met load of the gay casting producers, whilst out drinking in West Hollywood at The Abbey.

I knew what I was doing and I did it well.

I also got a job, in a gym where all ‘the importants’  worked out and interned at a Talent agent….to make sure I was always in the loop.

My agent would call me to tell me the auditions that I had got called in on….

They had submitted me, but never got a call back. I submitted myself….called casting and got MYSELF straight in.

So, this is what I mean by seeing your goals, taking your life, rolling it up into a ball and directing it the best way you can, to make it go your way.

I was always out on the scene because I needed to network. I did everything by networking. I probably networked more than I honed by craft. That’s why I never made it as an actress out there.

You have to both. You have to everything.

When I found balance…I nailed it.

I was a rubbish actress back then. But i’m a great actress now, but because i’ve lived and learnt.

Anyhow, modelling took over. It was easy money. I didn’t know that it was going to be the thing that plummeted me further up the ladder of ‘look at me.’ But it did.

I then started writing my blog, after DK at the coffee shop MADE ME.

I didn’t have internet at my apartment. I couldn’t afford it. So every day, I would casually saunter into the Apple Store at the Beverly Centre and write my blog, on their display computers, that they had online.

(I’m not sure if they allow you to do that now. But back in the day they did!)

Well…they saw me everyday. I looked like I was checking a display computer out. I was typing my blog, every day, at the exact same time. I mean, they must’ve known, surely? But they just let me get away with it anyway.

I AM SO GRATEFUL.

DK: ‘I used to watch you come into the coffee shop and hang around the self help section and think, god she’s either a really trendy homeless person or a celebrity??’

Do all of the things that make you happy. Always be powered by love. Always find a way to make something work. Find solutions, instead of making problems. Go for it. You can design your own kind of life…

Do not judge others…

LIVE.

Write your story!! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last Two Months, Singledom & Living

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, outdoor

I’m literally having the most amazing time, dipped in ’30 something’ year old fun, glamourosity and life. I’m single, but i’m crushing, and i’m whole heartedly delighted that we’ve strapped all other festivities under our belts and we’re now getting armed in sequins and getting our ‘shimmie’ on into Christmas.

My absolute favourite time of year!

(And not just because I have a December birthday! Hint Hint! No wonder i’m mental, if I was birthed during a time, when penguins sang songs about reindeers, whilst wrapped in tinsel, by elves, who worship a dude with a giant white beard and have an after work mulled wine!) 

Yippee!

It’s just a great time of year, where nothing but tinsel and celebrations matter. Cocktails are poured. Events are a plenty. Cuddles and laughter, meander around cosy city streets & hearts are filled with love, MORE than they are broken at Christmas. You can choose to stay in, or choose to play out. Either way, it is always sweet rum drizzled and delightful!

Memories are made during this time of year.

Memories are also treasured….because we all kinda grab our lip gloss, after a Bailey’s…or look through our ‘ye olde’ phone pics and remember. Your favourite tune will play on the radio, just as you had it in your head. You’ll walk past a restaurant, that will remind you of some guy, or some girl, you once dated. Someone will totter past you in a hurry, in a busy shopping centre and they’ll smell just like the crush, you’ve always wanted to score. Memories are great. They’re not there to dwell on though. Don’t get caught up with memories, until it’s time. Until you’re old and ready. Until you’ve done your absolute back in and you can’t possibly dash, in your glitter heels to ‘Tattu’ on time, for a ‘smokey cocktail’ without feeling the pain.

Until then…just live.

Just LIVE and don’t apologise for doing so.

Guy friend: ‘See, Wunna! It’s THIS shit that makes you beautiful. The tits and all the rest of it, come second fiddle to all this shit.’

Me: ‘I thought you said you loved my boobs?’

Guy Friend: ‘Fucking hell. Haha. Take a compliment.’

Anyway….

Something great will happen to us all, which will make our kitten soul’s beam, before we wave off 2018. Something will also make us cry. But that’s life and that’s why it’s wonderful.

We’re given a story to create. A life to live…and if nothing else, we are giving the opportunity to FEEL. For 10 years this year, i’ve written CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM. It actually started 14 years ago, on Myspace. All I’ll have at the end of the day, as i’m swaying to Britney in my rocking chair, are my memories.

Go get what you want. Don’t let anything, especially fear stop you. You might not win. Yet if you don’t try, you won’t have lived. That’s what we’re here to do.

Don’t get it twisted.

(I can’t believe i’m writing this in a play area. Haha.)

It doesn’t matter whether you spend it with good friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, the people you shouldn’t be playing around with, lovers, old spirits, new crushes or with your next door neighbours cat?

You’ve only got 2 more months LEFT on 2018, so make sure you LIVE IT. Make sure you enjoy it. Do what makes you happy. Find you inner life love and make the end of this year (which has had it’s ups and downs for everyone) WORTH IT.

Create magical moments.

You’re here for a good time, not a long time.

Over the last week, i’ve probably done everything. I’ve cocktailed with old friends, which found me sharing fireworks with them, as we cheered on our favourites on Strictly, discussed my tragic love life and enjoyed time with family, over wine.

Helen: ‘You’re just so pretty.’

Me: ‘Aww! That’s sweet. But everything is literally pinned, sewn or glued on. I mean, let’s face it, you couldn’t put me through the wash, could you!

Helen: ‘Hahah..

Gina: ‘I fucking love you…

I’ve talked to strangers, with cucumber drinks at The Botanist, Leeds. (I love The Botanist, Leeds, because it’s so  hidden away and freshly cosy. ) Inspired people at Restaurant Bar & Grill. I’ve whizzed and whirled and eaten pear salads, with a fruity umbrella drink in my hand and with my own laughter filling the rooms.  I’ve shopped. I’ve loved. I told Matt Goss, that he’s my celeb crush. He pretty much liked it 😉 which made my heart swoon. Lol.

I’ve been a great soul, an even better Mum. But most of all, loved telling you my story. (Your questions have been amazing.)

I don’t know what happens to me in the end. I just know it’s something wonderful.

I don’t ask for much. I just ask for peace. (And the man of my dreams to share life with me. I have everything else, I need.)

Everyone keeps going on about how single I am because it’s apparently so unbelievable?

‘How the hell are you…’

‘YOU’RE Single?

‘How are you, even nearly single..’

I certainly am, and I certainly don’t know why? Haha.

Firmonnell (My chick best friend) : ‘She’s single by choice!’

If I had the answer, I wouldn’t be strutting around with a neon ‘Going Solo’ arrow above my head, would I? I’d be building my white pickett, rum stained fence, to Disney classics.

If you’re a 30 something singleton too. Don’t worry! I hear so many of you worry!

DON’T.

The worrying alone is not seductive. Lol. It’s awkward. It’s thumb twiddly.

In this day, being a single 30 something year old woman (I’m 37,) three marriages down, doesn’t make you rubbishy, like no one wants you. To me, it makes you powerful because you now KNOW what you want and instead of standing at the side of the dance hall, waiting for some guy to ask you to boogie, you’re confident enough to just make your OWN fun, with your gent of choice and leave the party whenever you wish.

I’ve never been so chased by boys in my life, than I have in my 30’s. That’s the honest truth and it’s because i’m much more wiser, comfortable and THAT ALONE IS HOT. It’s sexy. I know how I want to feel. I know how I want to look. I know what will make me happy.

Be interested in yourself and others will take interest in you. Give people something of value and they will jump on board. (My LA balcony buddy taught me that, over balcony tea….as we walked the drummer from Maroon Five, do life, through a window. He was our ‘across the way’ neighbour. He once lifted me back into my condo, when passed out drunk, as a gaggle of gay men surrounded me…not to help, but to perv on my hot laywer roommate. Lol

I was in a lime green fedora. Haha. That’s all I remember. I love West Hollywood nights. I got into a state outside ‘The Abbey’ in West Hollywood because Ryan, my crush didn’t love me. (Turns out he secretly did, but treated me badly because he had a girlfriend?)

Ry: ‘I was crazy about you. I didn’t know what to do? So I made a weak decision because i’m a pussy.’

His last name is ‘March.’ I have it tattooed on my right inner arm. J

Friend: ‘You two were going on dates and everything! How fucking weird!!!

But that was years ago….and at the time it was shit! However now, it’s a fond, funny memory.

Time is like magic….It’s certainly precious, so you should use it to your advantage. Yet at the same time, let it fly, because it heals things without you realizing. 😉

I guess, everything is just about balance….and  cocktails.

Chrissie x

 

 

 

I’m Looking For Love…

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I’m looking for love. After a lifetime of lust, life, fun, dates, mistakes, love, true love, marriage, divorce, flings, happiness and heartache…I’m still here, stood tall, (I’m only 5 ft 3,) with a smile on my face, telling you, that I’m excited for what Cupid might have in store for me in the future…

Cupid and I have not been mates. Lol.

We’ve been on a journey. Yet, the thing about ups, downs and journey’s is that in the end, you buddy up. You ‘buddy up’ because, even though you chose a bumpy path and disagreed all the way through it,  you tackled the ‘bumpiness’ together. It brings you closer, than you expected.

Only good can come from a bit of ‘bumpiness.’ 

Therefore, my faith is Cupid is always close.

One day, he’ll *wink* and shoot an arrow straight through, with my ‘soulmate’ as his target. 😉

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN LOVE.

Always, BELIEVE in love. 

At the end of the day, my love life may not read ‘paper perfect,’ but it’s real. It’s my story My fairytale. I’ve learnt everything the hard way, but LEARNING and discovering IS everything.

Today, I asked you, to ask ME questions about love, dating and relationships, on my Insta Story…and let me tell you, i’ve adored every single second of it. I actually couldn’t appreciate it more and with 47 more questions, still waiting to be answered, as I blog this ‘sassy bit of wordy‘ from a wine bar, I wanted to let you know that you’re making me feel ALIVE. 😉

The love part of our lives, is such a BIG part isn’t it. Even when we push it back to the very far parts of our mind and or fold it into a box for storage, it’s still a HUGE part of our lives always. It’s all we have. Life itself and the love we embrace within our time.

A really successful guy…Well… You’ll know him on here for being ‘The Swirl.’ I remember being sat on an Ipswich sofa with him one time and he uttered the words…

‘I guess, i’m going to be alone forever…’

I don’t know why I remember it? But I do. That’s the opposite to what I want. I mean, I’m independent. I’m cheeky. I’m sassy. I don’t want to compromise my heart. I’d rather be a happy singleton than be with the wrong guy.

YET, I’d hate to be alone forever. I’d hate to not have a best friend to share my life with, in the end. 

I mean, i’d be alright. But it wouldn’t be my favourite.

Chick friend: ‘Chrissie, guys aren’t going to use you for sex forever. One day, some guy is gonna look at you, with fresh puppy dog eyes and know that if he didn’t have you by his side for a lifetime, he’d be foolish.’

Me: ‘It’s not about the use me for sex thing. I’m a big girl. I love sex. I just can’t seem to find Mr.Right anywhere. Or the guys that I usually have down as potential Mr. Rights, don’t give a shit.’ 

So, this is what i’m looking for….

I am looking for a thoughtful, romantic, sexy, loving gentleman, who is fun, naughty, a bit cheeky and real. I want him to be my best friend. I want us to do lots together. Discover life together. LIVE. Adore each other. Have lots of hot sex everywhere. Haha.

It honestly can’t be that hard!!! Lol.

Why am I finding it SO difficult?

Chick friend: ‘You’re ambitious in the guy stakes. You know what you want and you go for it. In that time, no one measures up to what you’re going for.’

But like I said today, i’m a confident girl, so I have no problem letting a guy know I fancy him. Men need a ‘green light’ as I call it. I grew up in LA and in LA, the girls are brimming with confidence. It’s a sexy trait,

However, I will ‘green light’ and ‘bat the ball’ into their court and it’s up to them, from that point onward. I leave it to them, because nothing is less sexy, than having to chase a guy.

I enjoy it when they chase, it makes me feel like a woman.

They can choose to leave it, or chase it…

That way, it gives both parties, the power. It’s equal.

What I wanted to say today, was to ensure all you other singletons, be you young, old, rich or poor…whatever walk f life you’v elived or come from….

It’s going to be okay. 

Don’t stress. Just enjoy.

I mean, I know so many people who take on new love excitement with doubt and fear.

What could be worse!

Life shows you someone fanciable. You like them…but then you think of 101 reasons as to why, it can’t or won’t work.

DON’T.

It’s foolish of you.

I know, from 37 years so far, that in life, in love…

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

Be brave. Take it a day at a time. At your own pace…AND JUST FUCKING EMBRACE AND ENJOY IT.

If i can still stand here with all the hope in my heart, as happy as can be, after everything i’ve been through, all over the world…(my hearts broken in almost every continent, lol) then you can tooooo!

No one’s gonna fancy ya if ya miserable.

Cheer up. Flow with the punches..and just let life magic, take it’s course.

I believe in fate, magic and life….

For some reason, I haven’t meant to meet ‘my forever’ just yet, but I will and when i do, after everything that’s tinkered my way in life…this time, i’ll be ready. 😉

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie, x

 

Grandma’s, Dick Pics & Birthdays

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Life is great right now. Everything seems to be slotting itself into the right place 😉 and even though i’m wishing for even MORE amazing times to come, i’m not feeling foolish enough to forget that right now, I’ve got it pretty good.

Yesterday, I got you all to ask me questions on ‘sex,’ on my Insta Story and you excelled yourselves. My story hadn’t been viewed as much in donkies years. Lol. But yes, sex is a big part of my 37 year old world, so I really loved answering your questions, simply because I think it still has a bit gummy ‘TABOO’ label, slapped upon it, when it comes to openly chitter chatter.

I’m a cocktailing Glamour Puss. If I know about anything, I know about ‘whisky sour’ dripped sexy time. 

(All was going well, until some sexual therapist woman, decided to hate on me.)

There’s plenty of room for everyone, so don’t try and elbow me out the way. I hate giving direct advice, because I don’t agree with telling other humans HOW to live. All I do is share and I do it by telling MY OWN story and letting people ‘take’ or ‘leave’ anything they want from what the hear.

Anything inspiring comes from MY OWN life experience and emotion and not from from a dusty old ‘Refer to Paragraph A’ textbook.

That’s a polite and glamourous way of saying…

FUCK OFF. 🙂

I’ve loved Halloween, but i’m glad it’s over. I might even light a few sparklers and get Bonfire night out the way, simply to hurry it up to my favourite time of year….

CHRISTMAS.

I’m a December born baby. I have a birthday on the 19th and this year is extra special because i celebrate..

10 years of CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 

I actually hit 10 whole years, earlier in the year. I think March?  But I didn’t want to celebrate being ace, in March. 😉  Instead, I wanted to give myself a big old ‘pat’ on the tequila back ON my ACTUAL birthday…so i’m gunna!

Wiggle.Wink. Hip Bump.

I was gonna throw a big old party, but I decided not to…Instead I’m gonna do it my own way..and you’ll find that out shortly. 😉

Strap in, Dollies.

(Wait, I feel like I need another 11.38am wine. Except it’s now 12.40, so I’m all cool and appropriate.)

It’s lil’ Sam Reece’s birthday today. He’s turned twenty six and it’s great. I’ve loved our paths crossing this year & our hungover Sunday morning snapchat banters.

He’s certainly the sexiest twenty six year old my eyes have ever seen, so I felt the need to post this pic everywhere. 😉 It’s a beautiful piece of art.

Ladies of the world, you can ‘thank’ me later.

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(Oh God. I’m sat in at The Mallard in Doncaster blogging. I always choose the quiet ‘away from absolutely everyone’ corner, but it’s got really busy. A grandma, is out with her grandson and is looking at me every three seconds. She’s doing that thing where her Grandson says or does something impressive, & wants me to acknowledge it also. Hahah. I feel under pressure to perform. Lol) 

This is not what I signed up for. Haha.

Now dudes are hounding my Facebook messenger and sending me photos of their genitalia. I don’t mind a dick pic AT ALL, if I know, and fancy the guy. I think it’s hot. It’s sexy.

Yet, I don’t like dick pics from strangers, at all. It’s just not sexy and not because i feel disrespected. Just because I’m not sexually excited by anyone, until they’ve managed to mentally stimulate me.

Flirt with my mind. Get in my pants. Simples. Haha.

Grandma’s. Dick pics. AND I have a tractor in my hand bag. I just can’t cope. Lol.

WHAT IS MY LIFE!!

Chick friend: ‘Can you not eat a chicken wing, like you’re giving it head please. It’s a family pub.’ 

Me: ‘And don’t I fucking know it! Hahaha.’ 

Right, I’m answering your questions on love & dating today. I’m moderately distracted because there is MADNESS going on around me. Lol.

I keep lifting my phone in the air and pouting to film by answers for you. People keep looking at me, like i’m strange.

I’ll give’em that.

HOWEVER, I do actually think that THESE DAYS, it is PERFECTLY acceptable to selfie take or film for your instagram in public. You’re almost behind the times, if you don’t believe that and frown upon those who do?

Anyway…

Head to my Insta Story and ask me a question on love, dating and relationships. ( @chrissiewunna.)

Thank you for following my life,

Chrissie x

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