A Little Bit Of Inspiration…

I don’t want you to forget how important you are. How important life is. Your life. Your version of it. We’re all different. We’ve made alternate choices. Some of us believe we’ve been dealt a decent hand. Some of us believe that we’ve been boomeranged a raw deal. Some of us are young. Some of us are old. Some of us are great at work and shabby at love. Others champion romance yet can never seem make their financial dreams come true. Most of us are balanced.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, what you stand for or where you are in the world..Y’know… what stage you’re parked at in life..because we’ve all cried through parts, laughed through moments, told the truth, told a pack of lies, felt brave, been filled with fear, we’ve all loved, we’ve all lost, we’ve all won at some point…Yet, if you’re sat reading this right now, know that so far, you’ve done an alright job, simply because that heart is still beating and you’re still ticking along nicely and you can change the tempo of your world to make all of your dreams come true, at any point. You’re in charge of that. No one is BUT YOU.

And ALL of the above pretty much makes us the same. It’s what we all have in common. So like I always say, billions of people are doing life, this is JUST my version of it..and more than anything, as thousands of you scroll and ‘click’ onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM today, tonight, wherever you are in the world….I hope that one of you, at some point, whether you’ve met me or read a blog, be it from now, or from 10 merry years ago, I hope that one of you, somewhere around the world….has felt inspired.

Everyone always asks me what I reckon a ‘life soldier’ is all about and from what I know and what I’ve learnt, its always the people who aren’t scared to be bold enough to push forward who become the greatest version of themselves. When you fall down, you pick yourself up. You’ll fall down again. You pick yourself up. Don’t give up on anything that you care about. It’s not worth it in the long run. Don’t give up on what you believe is right. Don’t give up on YOU. Have faith in life but have faith in yourself. Roll with the punches. Keep ya head above water.

I’ve lived an extremely colourful past. We know this. I know this. I’ve lived it. I’ve danced through chapters and chapters of all different paths, all different worlds and around all different people. Some of it it is really clear. Some of it is just a blur. I’ve always had this uncanny way of making the shitty times look glamourous and the WONDERFUL times look simple and played down. But I’ve never told anyone HOW to live. I’ve only ever told my story. I didn’t get that from a text book or a University degree. I got that from actually living life and experiencing it to the core, experiencing people and situations. I don’t know how anyone can read a text book version of life, get a stamped piece of paper and then be some champion at inspiring others, by making you follow their rules. It makes no sense. It’s robotic and bizarre. Life is about emotion. How people feel…and that changes by the minute.

I will tell you that i’m going through a wonderful time right now. At the end of last year. It was actually around this time last year, in October. I secretly changed and decided to make myself a priority. I decided to try harder and hit pause of the things that weren’t right. I felt like I had been selling myself short…I stopped, redirected and it was in November of last year where I became focused on what I wanted and began to go for it.

It worked.

This year, things kept changing for the better. I was still scared about my changes. But I did them anyway. You have to, or you just don’t get anywhere. Well you don’t get where you want to be. I’ve been juggling everything and yeah there are time where I haven’t given everything my all. Yet there are times when I HAVE. I noticed that when I did…amazing things and I mean amazing ‘dream come true’ things kept happening as a result. This is in work and love.

Things changed. I bloomed. I became really confident in myself. I trusted myself. Had faith in my talent. My world. Love. My own version of life. I didn’t expect anything, I just hoped for the best…..and knew that I’d worked really hard…well taken the necessary baby steps without fear. This year I grew. And no one can take that away from me.

Everything is still changing and everything is still wonderful. I’m not there yet. I’m still stepping. I don’t have my perfect career. yet I’m nearly there. I’m not married and settled with the white picket fenced but something tells me that that will all be alright. Right now, I feel at my STRONGEST…and as ‘changes’ are happening…and i’ve always let changes jiggle with me, even without my consent. It’s not my favourite. When changes come as a surprise, it shocks your merry system and you fumble it a little, until you’re totally comfy.

This time for the first time EVER….I’m ready….

WATCH. THIS. SPACE.

I ain’t dropping any ball this time. 😉

 

 

Leeds, La Bottega, Inadequate Chris & Marriage?

Read moreLeeds, La Bottega, Inadequate Chris & Marriage?

You won’t be a dickhead forever…

Great day! I’m feeling all squeaky, peaceful and on the whole… quite awesome. I’m feeling invincible, like nothing can really get to me.I’m together, cheeky, gentle, but alive. I’m feeling focused. I have a ‘bullesye’ trigger stare right now, as i’m kicking all that is seemingly negative under a dodgy rug, away from Wunna land for some other person to find and deal with…I’m good at the emotionally decluttering. It’s healthy for you. If something is not enhancing your life, or soul…don’t waste time on it. Embrace the things, people opportunities or situations that do! I’m a decisive girl, so i’ll never feel trapped in a muddle. I’ll always slip on a better set of heels and strut onward with a life *beam,* a gentle sass and OWN the path that I chose. People feng shui their homes, yet they forget to feng shui their souls. Don’t be that douche.

I’m feeling loved. I mean, when I got home from work today, (and i’m working hard) Baby Junior, my little son, the littlest Wunna in all the land, dashed up to greet me with cuddles and this crazy unconditional laughter that oozed utter Mummy love. It made me feel great! I’m so lucky! It’s those moments that help me realize how happy I am. Junior is such a pudding. I LOVE HIM. Ruby’s ace because she is ever inch ‘WUNNA LAND.’ This means we bicker…but i’d rather have a feisty daughter, than one that is terrified to speak her mind.

The careers going well. Better than I could’ve ever imagined, really. It could be better, but it’s turning into a good place and parking up. I’ve taken some shit wrong turns in my life, haven’t I! Some of you have come on the journey on me, no matter where you are in the world. Some of you have just checked in. You were smart. You came for the party. Good timing.

Right now and because i’m much older and wiser…I’m gracefully dancing to the beat, instead of tripping over heels in a muddle. I’m no longer trying to control or manipulate the things that I can’t meander and it’s great because it makes you feel free and helps you benefit from the things that are yours…Good things will come to you…the right people will find you. The best people will help you. Don’t stress over pressure or dumb shit that doesn’t really matter in the long run. Enjoy what you have and where you are. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Don’t forget to love it…even if it seems like things are going shit  or not exactly to plan…You can feel vunerable FOR A BIT…That makes you human. But then you just need to get over it, because there are great things ready for you, just around the corner. PLUS, pity parties are just not sexy and I am living proof that anything can happen to anyone! I’ve watched great things happen to people in life and it’s inspired me to have faith in the *magic.*

Don’t go against the grain of what is right for you!

Y’know, last year..this time last year, i was all cut up over love and boys and all this other crap…and selling myself all kinds of short. I didn’t realize at the time. We never do, do we? Lol. It was only really when it came to November that I decided to give myself a shake and concentrate on making my life worth it. I wanted this blog and my world to be a HIT. I focused and it worked. Everything changed. It went *ZOOM* in almost weeks.

This year, hasn’t had anything to do with love really. (Aside from ‘the swirl’ ofcourse) and y’know, i’ve met some ASTOUNDINGLY amazing people. All of them to do with work and opportunities…or even new friendships. And they all sort of just tinkered themselves into Wunna land. by accident, yet almost like they were meant to? Like this accidental Wunna force dragged them to me. (Yes, I think my life mojo is that powerful. Lol.) I’m loving it. I just hope that everything all works out for everyone in this year..but kinda mainly just for ME. Lol. I’m five months in and still going strong. Come on 2017! Gimme something juicy!

People are saying that the year is flying by. To me…it’s only May. so much can change in a day or a phone call in my world….Be it good OR bad….I have a whole lot of year left to conquer…AND I WILL! I’m an emotional soul, so i’m going to need fruity umbrella drinks to survive it. If there’s cocktails…I’ll smash this year with winks, victory air punches and a whole lot of love. Watch this glittery space. I’m ready now….Strap *the fuck* in.

I’m not gonna lie…there’s stuff going on in my head, when it comes to work and love. But there’s always gonna be stuff going on in your head, unless you’re utterly numb to emotion and thought. I’m happy. I’m too much of a firecracker to ever rest at the *numb* station. Even when I die, I’m sure, i’ll be able to squeeze out a *wink.*

But life’s about that isn’t it, conquering the ‘shit bits’ with ‘the jollies.’ We’re gonna have stress or situations that fill us with anxiety and turns everything upside down. Shrug it off, feel empowered, be confident and have faith that life is gonna treat you right, in the end. You’re not going to be a dickhead forever.

HURRAH!

Be THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF. I mean being able to rise from any dodgy situation with a positive flag of ‘in your face‘ life makes you SO powerful as a human and because there’s weirdly so many people who having found the knack of doing it yet. It puts you ahead of the game. Lol. And don’t get this twisted. I’m not saying don’t FEEL the bad parts. The bad parts are there to be felt. The quicker you feel them..the quicker you’ll get over them.

I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that I told Lynne (who’s in her sixties) during a moment where in which she suggested that she had felt a little pressured…to just *FUCK IT.* She smiled, laughed and said,

‘Y’know what, I’m gonna do JUST THAT!’

It made me smile.  I love the Wunna magic.

I’ve heard stories of uncontrollable situations, where a friend of mine forgot how powerful she is. I explained her power to her via whatsapp and she returned to her fiery self, because I reminded her that there was NOTHING IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD that her SASS and SMARTS could not FIX. She’s far too cunning to lose anything that she is passionate about and it’s sexy!

My guy friend ‘Dipper,’ well he had people crawl back to him today…(OOooh, ‘The crawl back!)

Me: ‘Yeah, but are you gonna fuck them off?’

Dipper: ‘Yeah, course I am! Well…no not really, i’m gonna welcome them back with open fucking, *I need you* arms…HAHAHA’

(I loved that….It’s hilarious…and again…powerful.)

‘Double D’ who three weeks ago was SO glum, crying and devastated about the breakup he had with his girlfriend, today was all..

‘Well…we were only together for six months really…Lol’

(Made me smile. I totally watched him get over it…)

I sent someone a text today. One that they didn’t expect. It made them *BEAM* as it was a ballsy text, that they never ever in a million years thought that they would receive at 4.02pm today.

(Again. It made me smile.)

So, no matter where you are, or what situation you’ve got going on…BE IT GREAT OR SHITTY….KNOW that no matter what…great things will happen to you…They are literally just around the corner…

Have wine…enjoy your time…shove on a song…and live it.

 

Sassy, Bank Holiday Sexiness…

I’M HAPPY!

I’m sprinkled in a confetti fun, dazzled with a giddy charm. I’m feeling flirty, fun rebellious. I’m enjoying my life to the max. I’m laughing with my chick friends, tinkering in the art of business and winking at strangers who deserve a bit of love from Wunna Land. Right now this weekend…even though i’m feeling a bit chubby, I’m totally on top of my game and DOLLS it feels FUCKING GREAT!

I’m enjoying every waking inch of my Bank Holiday weekend. You only live once. I’m loving it.I’m living it and doing everything that I want, when I want. I think there might even be sunshine! I’ve loved, danced and done candy flossed ‘toy store’ openings with my GORGEOUS little Wunna babies. They rinsed me. I didn’t care. If you work hard and can’t spend your money on the people and things that you love, then you’re doomed. I’ve lunched with family. I’ve drank salted rimmed margaritas at Ego in Ackworth. I’ve Pornstar Martini’ed it at city centre pitstops ( I LOVE A POP UP BAR) and over the finest wine, the most delightful lunches and VIP tables that I couldn’t turn up to, I’ve had fun. I’m happy and the great thing is that this weekend, I’m not suffering fools. I’m taking not shit. No nonsense and embracing every part of me that feels powerful.

IT FEELS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

I’ve had lots of my chick friends ask me a great deal about love and how it all works, how men work, how life works with them etc…and FIRSTLY…I’M DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BEST BET. I don’t win stars in that category. I’ve had my heart break and heal so many times that nowadays, each time new love comes striding into Wunna land, I smile, go with it and just keep my fingers crossed with hope good intentions and laughter. That’s all you can do. I know girls like to ‘fuss.’ But i like to keep things simple. If a dude likes you, he’ll like you..and he’ll come get you and if he doesn’t…he won’t. You don’t have o put your life on hold, or worry for nothing. If he adores you…he won’t lose you. Yet, I will say that I have noticed from some of my closest chickdaees that once a guy does ‘get you’ and feels all ‘slipper comfy’…which don’t get me wrong is lovely…sometimes…they forget that to make sure their girl is feeling adored, appreciated and loved. We’re weird ones, us girls. It’s something we always need to feel. Even when we feel it ourselves. When we love, we love whole heartedly, don’t we? We come shooting out that canon head first, in a swirl of love madness. It’s nutty. But hilarious.

Men aren’t the same. They’re growers. *Wink wink* They grow to love…after an initial infatuation..which is pretty sensible, on the whole..Lol. My LA friend Dylan, once explained this to me whilst chucking pasta to a wall, in strips, to see if it was cooked,as a really rummed up Magician decided to get really drunk because no one loved him? Anyway he told me, that men where like trains… and that they needed to *chug* along merrily, with no pressure before they eventually decide to THEN go through the tunnel… slooooowwwwwwlllllllyy…. and once they do and the come out the other end…. they’re apparently hooked, ready and at that point will love you more than anything? He must’ve been pissed? What the fuck was she on about? Dickhead? And that pasta wasn’t cooked. Lol.

Yet, anyway, we as chicks have become so independent, that we’ve cut the guys so much slack when it comes to making them BE MEN. We’re all self sufficient and bouji and can do love, business and life all by ourselves now, can’t we? All that’s great, as I wave the flag for a hard working kitten. I am one. BUT I like to keep love ‘old school’ in a modern day world. It’s hard isn’t it? I’m unconventional, fun and wild, yet i’m a sucker for a guy that knows how to love, goes for what he wants and as he beams, makes her beam like there’s nothing in the world more precious. Like a whirlwind of sensual, magical, yet innocent stars swirl around you both…it’s filled with  trust, loyalty, fun, sex and romance. It pisses all over Tinder. I hate all that shit.

But enough about love! It’s Bank Holiday Sunday! YEAH DOLLS! 2 for 1 cocktails for everyone!

Y’know why i’m feeling so great? It’s because i’ve pulled my kitty socks up and got shit done. I’ve had fun, met up with friends, lunched, drank and had the most divine time with my babies…BUT THIS WEEKEND, after a long week of work (and I did feel sorry for myself all last week) I’VE MANAGED TO GET BE SO PRODUCTIVE AND ACTUALLY GET SHIT DONE.

I’ve smashed it and loved it. No feeling is better to me than that feeling of actually committing to being productive and seeing the results from it. I know!!!

I’ve made sure that i’m all over your news feeds, i’ve replied to all of my messages, I’ve drawn you to fan pages, instagram pages, Tweeted my way into your lives and Snapchatted bits of life, to beckon you into Wunna land like I have Haribo in my pocket or something. 🙂 It’s worked and right now, you’re being a great audience. It almost turns me on. Lol. I mean, I only put in a BIT OF WORK to see what would happened. So if I got my glitter elbow grease out….I’d nail it. I’m feeling really confident. It’s crazy. I’m on FIRE! It’s sexy. I’m feeling sexy. 😉 I mean, I might have even felt so sexy that I Googled Porny Gifs to utilize my feeling of ‘sexy’ into ‘expression. LOL. Just me. No one else. Keeps you out of trouble. What? It’s good for you! 🙂 I’m like a dog on heat right now. I don’t know what’s up with me? I need 24 cold showers…and a seat belt. I’m feeling ‘more than usually’ kinksville. I need to slow my libido roll down.

I love these moments where I put down my daiquiri and make hay whilst the sun’s still shining. I’m ambitious so when I see results..I love it. I’m brimming over with this cheeky prosecco bubbliness. I feel amazing and I hope you do to!

My mind works weirdly, so as Jack Parson’s had told me I’m getting ideas, jotting my them down, whacking them on my walls on Post It’s and slowly putting together a plan. I’m NOT business minded. I’m a creative. I’m really creative. I’m an entertainer. So its almost like I have to approach business creatively or with more thought…OR just work with/hire the right people.

I hope you’re going to enjoy today?I have a few errands to run, before cocktails in Leeds. My friends are either out or doing date night, home life lunches or babies….I mean ‘The Mighty’ (who has managed to produce a second child) text me last night determined to FIND FUN in Leeds, when we were all at home. Lol. I knew that Mel was out, as I met her, Alex & Esme at Ego whilst they lunched and I handed them Garden Centre soap. Lol.

‘Are you trying to say I smell?’

‘Does Esme want a Mocktail. Ruby’s getting one?’

Anyway Mel went off and did hotel night with ‘Her Gary.’ I want a hotel date night. They’re always so much fun. There’s something so sexy sounding about them, right?

But yeah, I’m tired of typing now….

Enjoy the sun…as i’m definitely sure that I want to be laid on some inflatable cactus lilo right now, with a fruit umbrella drink in my hand, about some sunny pool, in a hot pink or leopard string bikini.

I have a shoot tomorrow…I boudior shoot so to speak with Claire Pritchard. She’s an AMAZING photog. I can’t WAIT to be a ‘fallen angel.’ What could be sexier? AND as you may tell…I’m feeling somewhat sexy right now. I’m embracing it as it’s my thing. It’s how I feel and where I feel most comfortable. I love sensuality. I love sexiness…in all forms. More than anything I love being a girl…We should embrace our womanhood more. It’s so powerful, it’s scary. I’m looking forward to filming my Vlog.

Ps/ I’ve spend the morning being obsessed with David Beckhams Instagram page. It’s amazing. You can’t help but love The Beckhams can you? I adore them. They’ve smashed it.

Ppps/ I love that someone actually Googled ‘Sumo Porn’ yesterday and found themselves here on this blog. You dirty bastard. Hilarious.

 

 

When the going gets tough…The tough do a Malbec….

Wow. Today got busy! One minute I was chilling by cake, discussing sex and homes with all the rooms blue and the next minute everything turned into  ‘boom…boom…rush…ring….stress..stress…need wine’ mode. It was almost as if, ALL the problems, ALL the questions, ALL the worries, in ALL the jiggly world, decided to shot out of a glittery nonsense canon and *FIRE* itself all over Fairytale Blond, Mel and I… in a second. Cheers life! You’re a dickhead.  I like to busy, Just as much as I enjoy a chill. However, I do not enjoy it as much when it *POPS* out of nowhere and shocks my system with a KAPOW….and I’M GOOD at *KAPOW* moments. But fuck it…Life is life. I need more excitement. At least Mel got extremely expensive mucky sex toys for her birthday from her beau and ‘Fairytale Blond’ still managed to *piggy ear* snapchat me a photo of the current state of our lives…whilst I was living it with her….MADLY.

I need a sunny holiday and 22 gallons of wine, poured into my mouth by hot Greek Gods in togas. NOW. I said NOW. I need someone to be my side ALWAYS, whilst stroking my hair, drawing on my back and telling me everything’s going to be alright. 🙂 I need less carbs in my diet and…have I said wine yet? Shit…yeah. Fuck. 🙁 I have a rich and fruity Malbec by my side, so all in all..I win.

In life right now, I don’t know where i’m headed? I’m headed in a rocket to the stars, don’t get me wrong..yet where it lands…I have no cluey??? All this stuff is going on, great stuff…things that could make Wunna Land even more WUNNAFUL…Yet, i’m right back in limbo…with choices and decisions. I don’t like limbo because i’m not a fence sitter. I’m a direct ‘get on it and go’ girl. I’m all or nothing. So you’ll only ever find me sat on a fence , unless there’s millions of pounds attached to it, or there’s an offer of a juicy pina colada on tap. I’m kind, yet i’m hardly a push over…so mulling around the decisions that have been frisbeed over to me, is difficult. (And i’m talking about work. I’m talking about the opportunities that being this apparent new blogging starlett are bringing me. I have lots of great work offers…and lots of great collaborations being presented, which I adore. Then there’s the cheeky human’s that think collaborations aren’t about BOTH PARTIES benefiting from the cause. That’s the art of the collabo. The concept isn’t that wacky. When it comes to love, i’m as soft as a fool. But when it comes to business, I’ll just look at you with a ‘What will I get out of this?’)

*Slurps the Malbec.*

I definitely need a jolly, drenched in peace ‘time out.’ A holiday. Away from everything stressy. Around all things calm. All my friends are at Coachella…and all of me..is absolutely at work. I’ve worked non stop this year so far and i’m finding that when you have what i call a snazzy ‘Social presence’ where everyone knows everything about you or what’s going on in your life…(and I DO LOVE THAT) you need a moment…a moment that’s just yours. I need to prioritize that more. And yes, I don’t tell you everything. I tell you what I want to tell you. But still. In the most positive manner ever…I kinda just want some time to blog like I did in the old days, when I could put anything I wanted, whenever I wanted, without a concern, a worry…and without the stress of having to be aware of brands or ‘the brand’….people…or…you get it. I’m rambling. I remember sitting on my West Hollywood balcony in the sun, on Kings Street, with my purple diary and a peppermint tea, writing out my life in PAGES. No one read it but me…and it as raw. It was truthful. That’s what I want this blog to be…AND IT WILL…Yet that little purple diary, that i left in a fucking supermarket by accident…is now a business. AS IF!!! Haha. I remember reading a bit of it after tequila, once in LA and crying because this boy called Ryan had stood me up and had a girlfriend that he forgot to tell me about. LOL. I’d made the room really romantic…and he fucked me over…just like that. Lol. What a dick! 🙂 We’re actually friends now…but only because he’s kicking himself in the hairy knacker drills. 😉 Becareful which girls you hurt, cos one day they may grow up to be Starlets! Lol.

*SLURPS THE MALBEC.*

I’m currently hunting for the finest representation all the land…and all it takes it someone who gets and understands and believes in WUNNA LAND…and pretty much knows what THEY’RE DOING, as they instruct and guide me forward and at the same time just lets me do what I want, whilst trusting me. 😉  It hasn’t been an easy hunt, as you can imagine. So If you know someone fabulous, Uber them to me. Immediately. (Shit, I need to email that guy to schedule the filming of my Vlog! You didn’t remind me. I’ll enjoy the Vlog…as I pretty much come from a reality tv background. Innit. I’m a showman. I’ll smash it. 🙂 I want to film it NOW!!)

I had stuff to say, but I kinda can’t remember it all now. Plus Baby Junior needs cuddles and I find that more delightful than rambling.

You it doesn’t matter what you decide to do in life, you can make the BIG TIME, if you just do it FUCKING WELL.

Give it your all! Go for it! Don’t sweat the small stuff and in the end….good things, great people and miraculous situations will come to you. It’s human nature. It’s written in the stars.

I’ve booked back in to see  the delightful Jack Parson’s in July. (Yourfeed UK.) And now also really excited to meet Paul Frampton of the Havas Media Group soon also!

I think i’m at Angelica Leeds tomorrow night also? Are you?

Follow me on Twitter @chrissiewunna

 

 

 

A Quick Change of Jiggly Plans….

So my weekend’s made a glamourous U Turn and is now completely different. I won’t be headed off to ‘tango’ with the boy until next weekend now. It only changed about an hour and a half ago…due to my own circumstance…Yet being a kitten who is pretty schooled in the art of ‘getting on it with..’ when life throws in a *spanner,* I’m dandy with it all. You can sweat the small stuff, (which isn’t sexy) or you can celebrate the big things that you have to look forward to. I’m certainly on ‘celebration’ mode and certainly excited about what life has in store for me…so Yeah…after ‘chitter chatter,’ rearrangements and just good old honest ‘Wunna Style’ banter…Everything was sorted and my faith in humanity and my trust in ‘swirls’ were completely restored.

Y’know, what’s good about this guy…Is that he reasons things out in his head. He’ll wait, he’ll weigh things up, they’ll benefit everyone and hell make the right choices. He’ll stand by what he believes, but then, with charm immediately knows how to make everything better…

‘I’m a lucky guy…’

‘You make me smile, I’m laughing my head off reading these texts..’

‘You’re not just looks.. you’re actually  hilarious…it’s total banter…’

‘I love that you’re really open..’

‘It’ll be worth the wait…I promise.’ xxx

I mean honestly, I love hearing it all!!

But what I’m realizing about him is that yes…he’s a lot of things… but he’s actually the perfect balance of everything..in my eyes. And in my world, my eyes… count. 😉  He’s funny, but he’s sweet and he’s naughty, but he’s expressive. We’re similar like that. I’m loving it. So I’m looking forward to meeting him. PLUS any guy that I can have a conversation with about my entire ‘time of the month,’my actual period, before i’ve ever even met THEM in person..and chat about it with them comfortably, as we try to make sense of it all…is certainly ACE. I can literally say anything, tell him everything and he’ll find it funny. Even if it’s inappropriate. And i’m gonna need that aren’t ! 🙂 He’s sexy. I’m hooked.

So we’ll see what happens NEXT Saturday. I’m a firm believer in the fact that you meet people, when you’re meant to meet people…I wasn’t meant to meet him earlier on in life, which is when we had first chattered. Right now, shortly, our paths are supposed to cross, I guess? Is that how it works?

However, away from that I cannot EVEN TELL YOU how happy I am that it is FINALLY THE WEEKEND! Honestly. I have been sooooooooo busy and have worked sooooo hard this week that my mind could’ve  just exploded. It’s been THAT bundled and THAT full of *So Utterly Much.* But I did it I’ve done it! I’m at the end of the tunnel. I have two utter days off in a row, away from the madness to find peace and calm…and gallons of prosecco.

THANK THE FUCKING LORD!

(Or as ‘Double B’ would say, ‘Jesus and the baby orphans.’ )

When you’re THAT busy, you need those moments! I like to call them ‘peace… cut offs,‘ where you just ‘cut away‘ from the hectic drama’s of life happenings and enjoy the things that you LOVE. It stops you from needing botox, going insane and keeps you beaming.

(OH GOD! Ruby’s just woken up and tottered up to me, with these GIANT rainbow coloured beads around her neck with what SHE thinks are flesh coloured ‘feet.’ They’re from a Gay Pride event and my friend brought them back for me, as an appropriate gift. I’m sure that I hide them in the back of a high kitchen cupboard? Lord knows how she has them??…But yes, those ‘feet’ are decorative…well there’s a Penis, after every 7 beads 🙂 Welcome to Wunna Land.)

Lots of great things are happening to me right now. I have lots of good news to tell you soon.

I have my fingers crossed for most of it, as I don’t know how my life is going to end up…But if you don’t hope for the best…You’ll drown in rummy cocktails. Let’s put it this way, I just KNOW that it’s going to end up being wonderful. 😉

Hope you sail through the weekend with absolute utter happiness….That kind of buzz that beams from your soul and lights up your eyes…

 

Tonight…I’m beaming…

Thank you for following my life.

Chrissie x

Ps/ What did my chick friends say?

‘Well at least you don’t have to take it up the arse on the first date now…:) ‘

 

 

Saturday Things, Sexy Times & Rank

I don’t even know where to start! But let me tell you, If you don’t have a sense of fun,or a deliciously naughty sense of humour, you’re pretty much going to do ‘shock’ faces throughout this bit of diary today.

It’s taken me ages to THINK about writing it, simply because the girl, sassy banter that my chick friends and I tinkered with today was glamourously inappropriate and so utterly personal that I don’t even know what I can say and I can’t.

I will tell you that we decided that we weren’t so keen of people with 80’s moussed hair who try to chill in millennial town like it’s hipster. We also decided that we were certainly the greatest people alive, that sexting is often odd to girls, but easy for guys…

Double D: ‘Honestly my girlfriend once sent me a picture of herself naked with just my work tie on saying that she couldn’t wait for me to get home AND I RAN HOME as fast as i could!’

SEE! Guys are so visual and stimulated by turn on’s..and this is coming from ‘Double D’ our ‘Boy bitch’ who is a pretty decent gent, on all levels.

(Mel keeps making him do errands for him…Great errands that have now ended with him calling her Mum and Fairytale Blond ‘PULLING RANK.’ LOL)

‘Listen to Fairytale pulling rank on me!! Hahah!’ 

We also decided that some balls…balls? I mean BOYS have balls and some boys don’t. And that some girls are naughtier than others. We danced with oddballs and made deals with ‘the lovelies.’

‘I’m sure he still puts foam in his hair!

‘Mousse? D’ya mean mousse…like in an 80’s perm?’

‘Has a bird shit on my head…? I can feel shit on my head? Why is it so hot in here?’

‘I’ve fucking come on my period and I have my Saturday THING! FFS!’

Now, ofcourse when I wan’t to swoon in a swirl with the Mister that i’m going to see…who I adore…my body decides to *middle finger* me with a ‘hello time of the month…enjoy!’

WHAT THE FUCK!

Me: ‘It’s just going to have blowjobs and playing around. Lol’

Fairytale Blond: *Utter face of shock, fear and disgust*

Double D: ‘You can’t put out the first time you meet someone…there’s rules..’

Me: ‘There’s NO RULES DUDE. I can do what I want! Lol

( Istrut towards the cupboard)

Me: ‘Mel, i’ve come ON and I have my Saturday thing…’

Mel: ‘You’re just gonna have to take it up the arse then. 🙂 ‘

I love Mel! I pissed myself laughing and then chanted out loud, in a whisper as I strutted out the cupboard. We spent the late part of the evening chatting about Mel’s ‘love swirl’ Gary… and it makes me happy. I want to be in love like that! She gives me hope. I’ve not seen her as happy, since i’ve known her. We’re really close now and I love that she found true love , almost like magic and  in her 40’s. THAT’S AMAZING. She *beams* when she talks about Gary…and that’s a healthy energy to be around because I KNOW how much her handsome adores her. It’s balanced. It’s lovely. It’s naughty AND romantic and well…she’s kinda made me believe in love even more so…and I’m a girl, who is YES DIPPED IN SASS….but a total ‘love bunny’ when it comes to matters of the heart. I’m not wet! I’m no drip. I’m a force to be reckoned, with a bullet wink that sharp as a knife. But i’m soft when I adore. Who isn’t! So i’m looking forward to meeting ‘Taylor’ on Saturday…I’ve actually chatted to him in the past ‘on and off’ and briefly, yet I don’t think time or timing has granted us much lucky…AND I think you meet people when you’re supposed to meet them.

So right now in life…for some reason…I’m meant to spend my Saturday night & Sunday day with ‘Taylor.’ I like him. I like him alot. He’s great! So I couldn’t be more excited. We’re both excited and did the only ‘2 days’ left until we see each other message to one another…with smiles! I’ve had the busiest week…so my weekend will be perfect!

My work life is rammed right now…that I can’t keep up…so getting that ‘loving feeling’ back will keep my spirit alive.

Why is Mother Mature sending me with a period…? 🙂

Hahah! You should’ve seen ‘Fairytale blond’s’ FACE when blowjobs, were mentioned, let alone bum sex. Hahahah! (It’s her birthday tomorrow. I’m excited  to see what her ‘Prince’ gets her?

‘It better not be a fitbit…’

But yes, all is well in love and work. I’m working so hard right now…but i’m pretty positive that in the end i’m sure it’ll be worth it.

I had my tarot cards read for me tonight, after I asked specific questions. It’s crazy what came up…but i’ll have to leave that until next time. I’m knackered.My reading really helped me a lot. I was shocked.

Chat tomorrow…

Love you!

Thank you for being a part of my life…

The Filth Drawer

Wunna Land has been infiltrated by ‘young boys.’

Mel: ‘Who are all these young boys?’

Fairytale Blond: ‘They’re not young! They’re 20 something!’

Mel: ‘That’s young to me.’

Right! Incase you were unaware. The ‘day to day’ of my existance, what I label as ‘Wunna land’ is filled with hot, sassy, glamourous girls, ladies and females performing the art of ‘Business.’ The chicks’ rule the roost’ in Wunna Land. We’re dymaic, we’re fun, we’re straight talking, loveable and all on each other’s period cycles. It’s how it IS and how it has been for a while!

OUT OF NOWHERE, Wunna land is now slowly being littered with YOUNG BOYS, which quiffs and suits…who can do Rubix cubes and who have Oriental Girl fetishes…

Double B,’ Well all his girlfriends used to be Oriental…’

Double D: ‘Well one was Chinese, another from the Phillipines and one from….Infact the last one was older tooo!

Me:’ Is that why you’ve been staring at me lovingly all day? Whenever I look at you you’re glaring at me.

Double D: ‘I like how Chrissie was nice to me FOR ONE DAY. Really nice and now she’s a total sassy bitch to me always. It lasted ONE DAY! Lol.

I’ve named the two young boys ‘Sellers’ and ‘Double D’ and firstly because… they both have the same name. (I know! As if we have Boy Helpers and they respond to the exact same forename.) And secondly, ‘Double D‘is related ‘Double B.‘ (I know…what a wacky concept. Double B wore her specs today. She looked all geeky and cute. I followed her down the stairs, this morning, telling her repeatedly, until she told me to ‘fuck off.’

Are you confused yet?

The good thing about having ‘Boy Helpers’ is the simple fact that one of them insists on trying to suck up to us.YES! THE GIRLS! I like him! He’s smart. (Even though he does have an older Oriental girl fetish.)

‘My mum says i’ll either have Oriental or Ginger children?’

I just blanked him, then sneaky smiled with laughter eyes.

I mean GOD, he even made Mel crack a smile this afternoon with a ‘you’ll do alright here,’ seal of approval..and that on it’s OWN is  LIFETIME accomplishment.

He did try and set his Mum on Mel. (Do note that he’s 20 something. 🙂 )

‘Honestly, i’ll bring my Mum in to have a go at you, if you call me that again!’

Mel: ‘I’m not scared of ANYONE’S MUM.’

Lol. I love that Mel can’t just be lovely to the new boy, with his rubbish banter skills. She has to threaten him when she fills threatened. Hahahahah! DYING!

‘I’ll set my Mum on you!’

Yet, jokes aside… All was fair in love and candy!

That boy FILLED OUR ‘FILTH DRAWER’ with a joyous and abundant amount of beautiful jellied, chocolately, minty DELIGHTS to keep us happy and to MAKE SURE that we were lovely to him.

If you follow this blog, you will know what the Filth Drawer is! If you don’t? Search it!

We’re Northern girls. We’re Yorkshire Girls. We’re glamour pusses, but oh my FUCKING GOD, we CANNOT LIVE without our SECRET DRAWER that is FILLED WITH ‘FILTH.’

Firmonnel: ‘I’m on a sugar high. I didn’t even eat lunch today, I just had a hot chocolate and scoffed sweets all day.’

‘Why does this taste gingery?’

I’m a grazer and i’m a MINT CHOMPER. I love any little bits of ‘munch munch’ that I can get my hands on out that filth drawer. But only hard boiled, crunchy bits will suffice. I’ll smash a bag of Marks & Sparks Assorted Mints in a wink. I mean fuck it, we had PEAR DROPS TODAY. How Old School and delightful!

But yes, I love ALL little sweet or savory *chompy* bits. Anything from wasabi peas to ……………………… (I can’t think of anything to put in that blank?) AND if you didn’t know, I constantly chew gum…like it’s my dinner. 🙂

Right, I’m home now and chilling. I fancy a wine and a kick back. I’ve loved being a girl today. We should embrace being female with hair tosses and pouts!

I’m just reading up about today’s crazy Westminster Attack. How terrible! Its shocking, isn’t it! My heart goes out to all those affected by the ‘mayhem.’

It goes to show you that you just NEVER EVER know what’s around the corner.

Enjoy the ‘now‘ of your life…and try not to take everything for granted. We all do. I know I do at times. It’s a shame that it always takes something shocking to happen to ‘wake us up,’ when as humans we should enjoy being ‘awake’ all the time…

 

 

 

IT’S FRIIIIIIDAY!!

So sorry, I didn’t blog last night. I had a busy Thursday. One of those rushed off your feet, trying to get your head around it ‘mountain of work’ Thursdays, where everyone has a rant, everyone has a hair toss, everyone lives off coffee and then as soon as they swing open that door, which is labelled ‘HOME, they *crack* open the Prosecco and guzzle it to ease girl stress. 🙂 I’m not saying that the day was stressy. I’m simply saying that it was so much that it was hilarious. I stood in a ‘cupboard’ hiding with Mel, as she looked like she was pulling faces, but like little girls we hit the *pause* button to life and started *GIGGLING.* Hot Sarah couldn’t wait to get her pretty hot self back home, her eyes lit up and her soul filtered with glee, as she uttered these magic words…

‘Chrissie! Look! I’ve even got excited goose bumps at the thought of Prosecco.’ (And she did. Her bright eyes were so wide with excitement, that she looked like the happiest doll in all the land…that was maybe about to explode into confetti.)

I did red wine, (I kept it swag)….But we all know I shouldn’t drink it. It berry sponges me in this *higgeldy piggedly* truth serum and well…to put it bluntly…it makes me talk some right fucking shit. 🙂 Swearing is Caring!

(YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL IF I HAD HAD RED WINE BEFORE I START WRITING A BLOG.)

But yes, Thursday is D’done and Friday is upon us! WE MADE IT! Hurrah! Weekends for everyone (unless you’re ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ 🙂 Weekends suck for them. But whocares! Yay! No one! Let’s have Daiquiris for breakfast 🙂  I had wine for breakfast last Saturday. Not because i’m a massive alcoholic, but because i’m a massive alcoholic in training….Do note, that I was just terrified, so needed to drink.)

Anyway, we’ve all worked hard enough this week, so today is ALL ABOUT FUN! When trouble looms over our glamourous and some one glitzy lives, we’re going scoop up the stress, well make ‘Webbo’ pick it up for us and gracefully CHUCK IT IN THE FUCK IT BUCKET. It’s Friday. Let’s have some fun now.

Lots of wonderful things are happening to me, you know that, because I tell you that all the time…I had one guy ask me why I was having ‘down’ time, just because I hadn’t posted  a’selfie in ages. Lol.

DOWN TIME! FFS! I’ve been so rushed off my feet that I could paddle with angry sausage dogs, trying to hump me and not even notice. The ‘down’ time is my hardest time because that’s when i’ve got my head down and i’m busy ‘knuckling.’ The ‘show’ part of it all is easy, as I just wear amazing things, get papped, smile, selfie it, cocktail everything and wink whilst talking rubbish to people who adore me. 🙂

I talked to a psychic last night, but just in general and she randomly told me about three guys…and it was crazy, as I knew two of them…..and what she said was accurate. However, I’ve always got to be careful when I meet a ‘chick who  randomly tells me my future’ as i’m sure a Wunna ‘Google Search’ will pretty much lead you to this site, which HEY, tells you my life story. Lol. And she started her conversation with…‘It’s Chrissie, right?’

I’m going to post a blog later on this afternoon, telling you all about the fact that I’m in the Spring Edition of House of Solo Magazine and it’s out now My was at home waiting for me…AND I ADORE IT, as it feels like a treasure and goes on about how ace I am, Social Media ‘IT’ Girls are…and all sorts. (I’ll tell you about that in the next blog.)

I saw those little grubby boys in the alley way again last night, whilst walking by. They think they’re my mates now. Lol. They’re scruffs and I’m a glamour puss and i’m the only one they allow to pass their little boy alleyway, without abuse now.

I watched the littlest one of the pack, who looked about 11 write in black sharpie (so gangsta) on the wall of the alleyway…

He wrote…

‘Girls fancey a fuck…’

So, like the Glamour Puss that I am, I passed him, he looked up at me and I simply *paused* studied his work 🙂 and said,

‘You’ve spelt fancy wrong…’ before walking off.. (I’m gonna teach him something new every day, until he’s not a scruff anymore. 🙂 Have I spelt ‘spelt’ wrong, it looks wrong?)

Then when I got to the petrol station, this busy guy dashed passed me and I stopped him quickly, just to say,

‘Ooh, you smell nice…’

He actually *paused* for a second, smiled and like his rush at calmed thanked me…I totally made him smell the roses for a moment.

There you have it. I’m ace.

More on House of Solo later..

‘Liam Ross’ is trying to Skype me? He once tried to hit on me, by pretending to be two different guys at once. Lol.

HAVE A FABULOUS FRIDAY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Reason, A Season, Or a Lifetime

‘Chrissie…I sent my sister a gingerbread man because she’s been going through a really hard time right now,’ said Hot Sarah, as I worried over the fact that my lips were being puffy because the previous evening, I had consumed nuts. (Not those kinda nuts. 🙂  Actual hazelnuts that were hidden inside chocolate. In case you didn’t know…I AM ALLERGIC TO NUTS. Crazy shit happens. Everything swells and then I *POP* into a glittery confetti explosion.

‘Anyway, Chrissie…I sent her this gingerbread man, to make her feel better, BUT instead.. I accidentally posted it TO MYSELF. Lol. Oh! And you’ve spelt carpeted wrong and put crapeted. 🙂 ‘

That was a moment of my life today! Lol.

Gosh! We are almost there! We are almost at the end of what has felt like a really LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG WEEK. To be honest, it hasn’t been that long, as it’s been filled with moments of laughter. Yet there’s just been so much going on, with additional ‘plate spinning,’ that it’s felt like a sprint, a fast constant dash to the finish line… in heels. (Good job I wore a sports bra! 😉 )  But i’m happy! I’m almost there and FRIDAY’S, no matter what, are always about FUN! If you can’t make Friday FUN, you’re shit.

As soon as I got in and poured a wine,  I laid on my bed, put on some tunes and just for a second chilled and scrolled through dresses on my phone. I watched a Steven Bartlett Vlog and i’m loving that he’s posting them every day now. YET, GOD, I can’t keep up. I’m gonna have to save them all, for a giant Bartlett Vlogathon at the weekend. But i’m loving them. He’s doing a great job.

After my moment of chill…I feel great! Yet, I’m definitely in NEED of a big old glamour pussy *juggsh.* I want my nails done, a tan, a weave put in, a pedicure, to lose a couple pounds, some new outfits, a soft massage to pan pipe music and maybe a moment of meditation, with a cocktail in my hand and as I lay in my new fancy waist trainer. (YES! IT’S HERE! I’m wearing it all day tomorrow, as I go about my day! 🙂 I won’t be able to breathe after a week of bacon sandwiches. But by the end of the month, you will all be jealous. Honest! I’m gonna have to go with hour glass, as my days of skinny are over. My belly button is doing a *smiley* face and I kinda more want it to look *shocked.* :0 Operation ‘Stop eating shit’ has started.

I’ve got a lot of events coming up, as I told you previously, so I need to start stepping up my game, as I don’t want to show up at places and have people think that I look like a glittery bag of ‘she doesn’t look as good as she does in her pictures.’ Lol.

I want to rock up and have people do what ‘Gym Jake’ in LA said a decade ago in a taxi, after he had only seen pictures of me on Myspace. He had travelled all the way from Palm Spring,s just to buy me a drink…I didn’t actually think he would randomly travel up, but he did. I didn’t even know that he WAS travelling up. When he arrived in Hollywood, he simply sent me a text. That’s some good going! Shows balls!

When I dashed out of my condo to meet him and got into the taxi, the first thing he said to me was ‘Oh god….you look even better than you do on your pictures.’ (Awwwwwwwwwwwww! I wonder what happened to Jake?)

Now, that I’m old and I’m feeling old, I WILL TELL YOU, it is SO much harder, (especially as life has got busier and there’s so much more to do,) to look GREAT. Luckily, my vanity gets the better of me on occasion…and it kicks in with a giant kitty *BOOM.* If it wasn’t for vanity, I’d kick it in a onesie ALL DAY with half my face on. Instead, I’m still over dressing and still over ‘dollying’ and loving every single minute of it. You can’t keep a good kitten down. But I DO NEED TO LOSE GOOD FEW POUNDS.

I want an early night, so i’m gonna keep it short. But I received messages today….instead of pin pointing them…let me just generalize….

This is what SHOULDN’T HAPPEN. If you’re a guy and you fancy a chick, you SHOULDN’T  leave her text messages, Whatsapp messages, ANY messages that are what I refer to as ‘neg bombs.’

‘Neg bombs’ are those little moaney messages you get from a girl or guy, which are never positive because they’re feeling like they’ve lost your attention. Those little messages that tap at your inbox leaving that little bit of negativity.

ALL MESSAGES SHOULD BE POSITIVE if you want someone to fancy you. You’re not going to impress anyone with whines or a brief sentence that shows them that you don’t understand who they are or what they’re doing. That last message you send, is how they will remember you. It’s the energy that you will give off into their world.

Like, I said, I got one today and it just made me feel lucky and get on with my work.

You know in life…I’m always going on about people and how our life paths cross with one another when they’re supposed to. There’s a time for everything

And I do genuinely believe that you meet the people who you have in your life (look around you) for a reason, a season or a lifetime. There are going to be people that you haven’t yet met, who you’re meant to meet shortly.

AND I know that life paths cross and *pause,* when they’re supposed to.. because as I was driving home tonight and as my car passed every other car at 7pm…during that moment my life path had crossed with many. YET, those  paths  that I crossed weren’t meant to *pause* and play with mine. They just drove on and got on with their version of life as I got on with mine.

That’s how I know that when you meet someone and your path has *paused* it’s for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. So take note of that and pay attention to what makes you happy. Be present and embrace all that life throws in front of you, but be smart enough to be able to categorize and see where that human you are ‘life path crossing’ with… lies.

Reason. Season. Lifetime.