Friendship, Fights & The Backroom Leeds

Just the most amazing time in the city last night. I cherished, good times. No! Great times…with the people who I will always regard as my absolute closest . (Until I’m a superstar and never speak to them again. 😉 We’re like family and I’ve honestly had a great 2017 because of them.

I love the little swines and i’m really really lucky. I mean, not many people, in my position or way of life have a close bundle of friends, that the can trust and rely on. I do! We’re all really different from one another, yet each add a certain spice to the pot. If you have a problemo, a secret, a love….you’ll know which friend in the group to turn to…and in their own magical way, over cocktails, a cuddle, a whatsapp message, a warm dinner, a new set of heels, or a tissue….they’ll be right by your side, picking up the pieces.

I’m currently in Ego, Ackworth, sat infront of a huge mirror, with a half of Fosters, writing this blog….

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I adore a good mirror seat. One where it looks like I have my back to you, but I can see EVERYTHING.  My vanity gets the better of me. Yes. I’ll admit that. However, I also love the stories that mirrors tell. I’ve watched women with party hats and light up Christmas jumpers wander behind me. Business men. Families. Lone Rangers with quiet pints. Grown adults in weird Elf hats. Girls all a gossiping. And awkward humans on first dates. I love a mirror in the midst of a ‘busy bustle.’ It’s always so magical. Always so glamourous.

But anyway, last night I was out in the city…

As the story goes, the day turned to night. I had had a somewhat stressful day of ‘rushy.’ I HATE RUSHING. I’m a glamour puss. I do things in my own manner, with my own panache and at my own pacing. Not yesterday though. Fuck. I dashed to three cities, running errands, doing meetings, making sure Ruby & Junior were enjoying every inch of their Christmas holidays. I had a deadline. I needed to be ready. Then after the fastest totter, a warm bath, placing my phone on charge and a slip into my silver sequinned dress from the Kourtney Kardashian line for Pretty Little Thing….I dashed out the door, twinkled through the night sky, jumped in a taxi..

Driver: ‘I’m sure I’ve driven you around before. I remember your voice.’

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And Whatsapped ‘Double B’ with a…

‘I’m 3 mins away from yours…’

We drank wine out the bottle, all the way to ‘Firmonnells,’

Double B: ‘How many people do you reckon you’ve slept with?’

Me: ‘Why are they like cardboard cut outs?’

Double B: ‘They’re just Vanilla..’

(I once referred to one of my exes as ‘vanilla.’ He was in a boyband and I’d just come off a tv show for ITV2.  To this day he says I apparently broke his heart? However, surely if you say ‘I don’t want us to be together anymore Chrissie because I’m gay’ that would mean that no hearts were broken in the process. Well, maybe my heart? 😉

He said he loved me madly, yet never messaged me when we broke up because he didn’t know what to say. I just took that as ‘oh he doesn’t care’ and I was fine with that. You can’t MAKE someone love you. You can MAKE someone care about you. Yet ‘true love’ is a whole different potion. If they feel you in their spirit….they will always find their way back to you.

Yiddley Doooooooo!

Anyway, Double B and I apologized to the driver for making him listen to our sexy girl banter AAALLLLLL the way to ‘Firmonnells.’ Yet he assured us he LOVED IT.

Driver: ‘It’s made my night girls.’

We were joined by ‘Fairytale Blond’ and a bit of ‘Mama Sally.’ We did wee’s, drank prosecco, borrowed jackets, exchanged gold clutches and found ourselves on our way to Leeds city centre…our city….yet via THE SINGLE MOST AMAZING train station ever. I’ve never travelled from Garforth before. THEY SERVED BOTTLE PROSECCO, IN BOUJI PLASTIC CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, THROUGH A WINDOW ON THE ACTUAL PLATFORM!!! I know!!! It’s absolute BLISS! All you have to do is buy a bag of crisps with it (because you are only allowed booze with food) and you’re plain sailing and en route to Leeds, with a happy prosecco jiggle.

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With our drinks, in our dresses, with our heels in place and whilst the girls decided to MAKE FUN of my WONDERFUL peacock phone cover.

Double B: ‘What the fuck is that!!’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s fucking horrible.’

Me: ‘SHUT UP! The loveliest phone man gave it to me FOR FREE today, for a selfie, you dicks! I love it!!’

(It’s a golden peacock with diamante studs and multi coloured gems scattered throughout its tail. Lol I actually really do LOVE IT. They despise it and think it looks tacky, because they’re ‘haters’ and can’t handle my glamourisms. They even made a guy on the train tell me that he hated it too! Haha! What dicks)

Anyway within a second we pulled into Leeds, they’re all running like wild women to meet the rest of the group, and i’m trying to catch up, as i’m spilling my prosecco all over me and some guy in a hat with chatting to me about…can’t even remember really? If Santa was a chimney sweeper, it would be him. He was lovely!

Long story short. All met up at a train station bar…who wouldn’t let everyone in because they had reached capacity. It was THAT BUSY. The rest of the girls joined the group and the boys joined us also. Then through the busy city streets, we all walked up ‘hand in hand’ to Backroom Leeds, as ‘Firmonnell’ and I tried to decide if we were actually lesbians?

Me: ‘But I really DO fancy Ellen Degeneres.’

Firmonnell: ‘But what about when you need a penis in you after they’ve…’

The Backroom was great! It’s a small decadent, ‘speakeasy’ bar on Call Lane. Plays the best music. Has a private outdoor terrace. And we had the whole downstairs floor/bar, to ourselves, as our own. It was just for us, our whole group and that was that.

The night was AMAZING.

Slowly but surely, everyone we knew trickled in, piece by piece, a wink at time, the boys in shirts, the girls in short dresses and heels. We love to glam it up…so each ‘trickle’ was dressed to the nines, straight to the bar and with ‘good time’ glint in their eyes. It’s always great when it’s just us, because anything goes, no one will judge and we can all pretty much surrender to the art of celebrating life, the year and friendship….. in the most pissed fashion, forget to eat the yummiest finger food and with all the free drinks that our tokens will allow us.

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We danced, we flirted, we booty popped, we ‘dutty wined,’ we let loose, we turned wild, we snapchatted, we kissy cheeked, we all thought we were sexier than we probably were and we DRANK….we fucking DRANK! Hustle Barbie fell on the floor AGAIN…took ‘Fairytale’ and ‘Double B’ with her. Lol

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Hustle Barbie: ‘It’s my new thing.’

Cuddles and kisses and sequins and hip hop tracks.

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Mood lighting, shots, hair tosses and fresh air terraces.

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Gossips, lies, drama and whispers….

At one point i think my whole entire top fell down for a second, due my excessive booty dance routine. I have no booty, so I have to really work at the back shimmie. Caused boobies to fall out because my dress was too big…Nobody cared. They loved it.

Me: ‘What! It’s because i’m a VEGGIE NOW. I’ve lost weight, but it’s come off my FLIPPING BOOBS!’

Webbo & Jonsez & Dipper & New Boys! They were all really lucky, because we chicas has already hit ‘good time’ and wine bottles, so like props we used the boys for flirts and dance floor swizzles. Hot new faces kept appearing out of nowhere. I backed up and a hot face was behind me. I walked forward and another new hot face greeted me. I even got a cheeky bum grab. (I love a bum grab at 30 something. It’s naughty. It’s fun. It’s a good way to get me to notice you….and he was REALLY HOT. Super handsome.)

Lots of ‘Hollyoaks’ style drama occurred last night. It went from whisper to whisper, to confrontations, to verbal fights. It went from learnt lessons, to hearts breaking, to no judgements and personality clashes. It went from stories told, to secrets revealed and tests of friendships and truth telling.

‘You can sleep with who you want to sleep with. I don’t give a shit! Own it.’

‘Why is she blanking me. I haven’t done anything wrong.’

‘This is ridiculous!’

‘Yeah…I already knew that. We all did!’

‘I just love her and I don’t stand a fucking chance.’

‘Just stay away from me. Don’t come near me. What do you think you’re…’

‘Who told you that??’

‘You need to man up…’

‘You else do you fancy?’

‘He’s done now…’

‘I’m leaving. This is fucked up.’

‘If she comes up to me again, whilst i’m trying to talk to you…I’m gonna..’

‘Don’t judge people on shit…Whocares..’

‘I can’t deal with this. Do you want a shot?’

‘She won’t even speak to me now.’

‘I don’t care what you’ve done…’

‘You’re beautiful. Am I stalking you?’

‘This is the last time i’ve ever going to get to dance with you…’

‘You’re new. You’re hot. Are you on Insta?’

‘Who does she think she is!!!’

‘How is this ALL MY FUCKING FAULT.’

[Echo….Echo…Echo….Echo….]

*STOP*

And even though all of the snippets above occurred, this is what I noticed…I noticed that  every single one of us were close. That every single one of us chose to prioritise ‘good times’ over drama. We danced, we laughed, we gave zero fucks. I noticed that in the end, enjoying our friendships with each other, is what we chose to make matter…and THAT is what makes us a family. (Moderately dysfunctional…but s….we’re fly. 😉 )

The clock struck 3am. Time flew by us. We didn’t even realise how fast it has flown!

‘AS IF IT’S 3AM!!! WTF!’

‘Don’t leave…come back..’

‘Come to Fibre with me…’

‘Get in my Uber.’

‘Don’t leave me..’

I had stayed in the private section at Backroom ALL NIGHT, so I didn’t actually realise how busy the place has got upstairs. I walked up to the open air terrace holding Double B’s hand…and it was RAMMED. It was MENTAL.

A guy stopped me with a,

‘Are you Chrissie Wooonaaa?’

‘Yeah…yeah…why?’

‘Do you remember me…?’

‘Jake?’

(I didn’t know if it was Jake… 🙂 )

Yet the crowd took us into different directions and as I sat on the terrace, chatting to ‘Double B,’ under the night stars…(I’m doing a lot of the night stars of recent, aren’t I..)

I watched Jonesez look at me, with all the heartbreak of the world in his eyes…as he stood up off, from the side of the terrace and walked away slowly, with his head all a muddle….

It snowed today…which means there’s magic in the air….

All I know about life is that there are MORE UPS, than there are downs. More GOOD TIMES, than there are bad. And that ANYTHING can happen in a moments wink of an eye….Dreams come true. Life is only has hard as you make it.

It’s the ones of us who can ‘surf that crest.’ The ones of us who stand by what we love and believe is right, for OUR OWN VERSION of existence that get the most out of the world and what’s on offer.

I’ll remember these people for the rest of my life….

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In FIVE DAYS….FOR ME…..

EVERYTHING CHANGES…..

Chrissie x

 

But Baby it’s Cold Outside…

;

It’s cold kittens, isn’t it? It’s ‘nippy…nippy…dooo…daaa’ and I am FREEZING. If I hate anything, I hate being cold. I’m all about the heaters being blasted on ‘FULL’ and a warm bowl of comfort food.  I can’t even DEAL with the chills of jiggery pokery, tinkering up my kitty spine. I’m far too EXOTIC to function under such circumstances.

Rubbish Friend: ‘You were born in DONCASTER, Wunna!!’

But whatever, that’s beside the point :)…. like anything ‘Ninja,’ I’m sure  IT’S IN MY BLOOD. I’m 100 percent Burmese. I spent 10 years growing up in LA! It’s all ‘warm, warm, give me some.’ It was the coldest day in all of the land, in Yorkshire today and I braced it in a Little Mistress faux fur. (I’ve over worn that Faux Fur, but it’s such a goody, that I just have to keep the roll going.)

I can’t even MOVE, when i’m cold, let alone BE USEFUL. A number of people attempted to force me useful today.  If you want me to be useful…don’t make me cold. Simples! (Radiators R’US. Live for HEAT. Let’s hang with the Fire Brigade, to make us feel warm. 😉 )

As you can imagine, I froze and pulled faces all day and….it rocked. I didn’t even do it for attention. Lol. I might have completed the COLDEST WALK IN ALL THE WORLD, with a chick named Beth.

‘Why is it so ******* COLD! I might die!!’

YET, f i’m being honest, even though the temperatures are dodgy, I kinda LOVE WINTER.

It’s more magical than Summer, isn’t it? Summer’s a fun season, but it’s a SELFISH season. In Summer, we’re all about ourselves. It’s flings and flamingos.

Winter is my favourite because, we commit to knitted jumpers, crackling fires, Gucci scarves, one more mulled wine, * pom pommed* gloves and surrender to kindness, merriment and reflection.

We cant help it.

It’s cuddles, it’s family traditions, it’s ‘Santa magic’ and glass *clinks* with your dearest friends. I love Winter. It’s my favourite. It may be cold, but whocares…I have a BIRTHDAY In 19 DAYS! I love Winter. 🙂 (All gifts appreciated. Just *volley* arm them into Wunna Land.)

So, I haven’t been able to blog over the last couple of days because I haven’t found the time. Time hasn’t found me. I’ve been working all days, most days and then being Mum, with a jolly side of sorting out the good old career. 🙂 I’m gonna shock ya.

I hope to have a really GREAT next year and if i’m gonna do that…I’m gonna have to put in the work. I have juggled and jiggled and worked my ‘pattooyi* off THIS year…and more than you would think.

NEXT YEAR, I finally get to fully celebrate life. Even though i get moments of second guessing myself, I’m feeling quite ‘swag’ about it all. It’s human nature to have doubts at times. People do make you feel bad for having doubts at times….But don’t. It’s normal. It isn’t that deep. All that matters is that you make the nerves temporary, and stiletto kick them out your way. I’m good at that. I’m really good at that. I’m really good at helping OTHERS do that!

Right now, i’m feeling pretty ‘gangsta,’ with a sophisticated, ‘Dior’ dripped strut. (Definitely did TI’s ‘You don’t know me’ video in my bedroom mirror, with a Desperado in my hand, this evening…and i don’t even CARE.)

Let’s have some fun now! It’s Christmas.

Over the last few days, i’ve been with the girls. Mel’s had a bird poo on HER ACTUAL FACE….Oh the glamour!

Me: ‘What? It’s lucky.’

Mel: ‘It pooed on my actual FACE!!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ bought burgundy jumpsuits, ‘Hustle Barbie’ received surprise and somewhat romantic Vegan packages at work, ‘Double B’ froze and referred to old peoples privates as ‘crusty bacon’ and ‘Firmmonell’ did my favourite place with ‘Big D’ via Snapchat!

‘We’re in your favourite place!!!’

Everyone else is ill. 🙂

Yipppppppppppeeee! Don’t come near me with your lergy!!

I’m going through a massive change in my life and I’m really excited. It’s weird because it proves that even when you’re old, greta things can still happen. Don’t give up hope. Age means nothing. It’s not about how many YEARS you’ve strutted, and more about HOW YOU STRUT….Make impact…it’s sexier.

At thirty six, i’m feeling really together,  but a whole lot of fun. It’s snowing outside, I have a contract beside me and I’m looking forward to Christmas.

If you didn’t know, for my birthday week I am away at the luxury Forest Cabin, with Forest Holidays. I always go there, because it’s a place of HUGE sentimental value to me. It’s one of the only places that I find peace and before a big next year, I’m gonna need that. I’ve had a great 2017. But 2018 will be much easier. I’m ready now.

I’m lucky.

This weekend I have WARM fun with Ruby and Junior planned, ‘Hustle Barbie’s birthday dinner in Leeds at Bar Soba and on Monday one of my BEST LA FRIENDS, Ronnie Woo is coming to London to lunch with me….

He’s a marvellous celebrity chef in LA and i’ll be telling you all about him soon. I can’t WAIT for Monday. I love Ronnie. He’s like a little brother to me. I’ve known him since he was 19 and at the time, we were both working a  part time job at a gym, scanning people like ‘before they were famous’ Nicole Scherzinger and Perez Hilton in for a work out. That time was such a great time in my life. Young Hollywood rocked.

But I waited a long time…and it was only now that SO MUCH is happening to me! So much, that I don’t even know where to start???

There’s lots I CAN tell you. Lots that  I CAN’T . And so much that I NEED to tell you…. BUT, right now, all  I WILL say is, that on the work front, things are really great in Wunna Land. I’ve got lucky.  It’s about to heat up…and you’ll be invited on my journey with me. ( I don’t know how this little diary got so big? Yet, I’m grateful. I don’t take anything for granted. I’m not like that. I really do thank you for reading it…even when it’s rubbish.)

I guess, I feel like i need to say that, as everyone always thinks that i’m really ‘pr’ driven and i’m not. I couldn’t be more different to that. It’s almost humourous. I mean, I’m not an idiot. I know when to ‘turn it on.’ I’m an entertainer. It’s what i do. I love to entertain. But i’m not one of these ‘robots,’ who doesn’t have a soul. I’m not a slave to it all. My soul is filled with Prosecco bubbles and brims over with winks, love and a natural ‘joie de vivre.’

At thirty six, I’m pretty much stuck in my ‘no nonsense’ ways. I’m not easily swayed. I stick to my guns and go with what I believe is morally right. I don’t play. I’m grown. And you’d know that if you met me. I’m the salt of the Earth.

And YEAH…I’m a bit glammy, sprinkled in boujiness and dashed in ‘swag.’ And YEAH, there’s a weird elegant dignity about me, with a cheeky upfront charm…. I enjoy the finer things in life and the world in general…

Yeah…i’ll agree that i’m  sassy….But unlike most, i’ll sit with you in a bar, treat you like you’re human and share a drink with you over banter.  I won’t even have to know you. I’ll love you, before I judge you….and that’s what makes me real. If i like you, i’ll smile. If I don’t.. you’ll feel it.

I’m someone who will say ‘sorry’ and not because I always think i’m wrong and that YOU’RE always right, but because I’m someone who will value my relationship with you, MORE than my ego.

*Slurps Desperado.*

People never know that about me.

I need to go…

I HAVE LOTS TO TELL YOU…

RIGHT NOW, I just can’t get it out….

No Phone, New Chapters & Ace Friends

My phones busted. It’s finally gone kaput and weirdly it feels like bliss. I dropped my phone ages ago at Leeds train station. The screen smashed, but it still worked like a champ for 9 more months. Tried to use it yesterday. It had had enough and gracefully waved *bye bye* to Wunna Land with a ‘Yo Sister. I’m out.

Called EE. My new phone gets delivered to me tomorrow. Infact, let’s give EE a shout out, as whoever dealt with my phone drama was a dream…

‘I don’t know what’s wrong with it? It just keeps deciding not to work, but it IS saying *hello* to me in every different language. That’s about it though? I’m sorry. I know this is the last call you want to deal with at 8pm on a Monday.’

Found out he was 44, single, had been divorced two times and blond. People just like to tell me stuff. I’m weirdly comforting, because i’m not one of those ‘drama’ beings, one of those ‘drama’ calls. I’m chilled and charming….My new upgraded celly glides into Wunna Land tomorrow…and after a stressful two days, it has felt almost DIVINE, to not have my handset, glued to  my palm. It’s been BLISS.

I just need a break. A bit of fresh air. A chill. I need to be surrounded by good vibes constantly, so my soul is giggling with winks and laughter.  I’ve got a lot going on and I’m wanting to cut away from a stressy static, a fuzz, a world that i’m plonked in and change it up,  to a free gallop of love, life and ease.

I can’t wait until it’s the weekend. It couldn’t come quick enough.

I’m feeling fun. I’m always feeling fun. There’s a shimmie to my strut and a smile that beams a gentle warmth, yet a sassy streak that that strikes out when necessary.

Mum: ‘Chrissie. You woke up with a kitten on your head.’

Me: ‘What could be MORE glamour puss than THAT! Should I have another wine?’

I’m looking forward to the future. I have a really exciting New Year. A really exciting 2018. I’ll finally get to concentrate on what I love, without the mundane jiggle of any ‘have toooos.’ You have one big old life to live and it’s too short to toss it all off on feeling unfulfilled. Live it. People always become a slave to the things that don’t matter. Why do we do that? The things that make your eyes smile and your heart blaze, are the things that are filled with the ‘good stuff.’ They empower you with an energy that makes you unstoppable. Happiness is what life is about. I’m filled with it and there’s not one inch of fear running through my glitter veins. Why are people so scared of everything? Be it change, love, life, work….circumstance….

Fear is the only thing that prevents you from moving forward. I am SO TIRED of people BEING SCARED OF EVERYTHING. It’s so unattractive in both girls and guys. It couldn’t annoy me MORE. More people need to Man UP! You’ll feel great afterward. And I don’t mean, ‘Wow, lets bungee, this cliff to show how brave we are.’ I’m talking about the little things. The little things in life that people are always so frightened of!!! It’s the little things that matter and make a bigger version of YOU. MAN UP. Get on with it. Enjoy embracing what you actually believe in.

*Add a wink here.*

I turn thirty seven in just under a month. WTF!!! I know. (But whatever, I still got it. 😉 ) And even though turning thirty seven soon…isn’t plastered on my ‘favourite’ list. I seem pretty chipper? I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m still the luckiest girl alive…I mean all the changes that happened to me this year and all the new opportunities and people that I have gotten so close to, has made it all perfect. The ‘Wunna Glow’ is rubbing off on folk and it’s awesome. My kids are BEAMING with Mama love, i’ve cocktailed lots and my dreams are pretty much coming true…It’s really  bizarre? (But i’m going with it… You’ve godda, right?)

I’ve done a lot in my life….Yet it feels like it’s only just beginning. I feel young. It’s ACE. But it’s not just the big things, like ‘hey, the world is reading your blog now’ that makes me smile…

Firmonnell bought me a surprise cappuccino today without me asking and more than anything t hat made me beam. I love her. (I’d definitely not be straight for Firmonnell and Ellen Degeneres.)

Which reminds me, I think i’m headed to see Susan Woods on Thursday, who’s one of the most delicious psychics, for a bit of ‘future telling.’  I’m also meant to be off ice skating with ‘Jonesez’ shortly, but i’m refusing to go until he refrains from calling it a ‘date.’

We love him, but he always gets a proper bollocking from my chick friends and I…

‘It’s not a DATE!!’

‘Don’t eat near me…’

‘Why are you a dick…’

‘Stop trying to hit on everyone…. You’ve godda have more swag than that.’

He loves it really.

Even though i keep rambling on about exciting New Years, changes and New Chapters….part of me feels really emotional because  i’m truly gonna miss…well i’m gonna miss a lot of people, who have made my ‘almost’ last two years just wonderful.  That part’s hard and i’ll drink lots of prosecco at first….

But if you don’t take steps forward when opportunity is knocking at your door….then you’re the most foolish human in town…and THAT I am certainly not.

I’m filled with love. I’m ready to adjust my bra and strut forward.

 

Hear Me Now………

Let’s have some fun now, hey!

We’ve all worked really hard all year. We’ve made sacrifices. We’ve sweated blood, tinkered tears and danced out a few melodramatic tantrums. Things have gone right. Things have gone wrong. We’ve won. We’ve lost. We’ve learnt. We’ve all probably flirted a little. Fallen in love. Fallen in lust. Or even fallen straight down that jolly old plug hole.

*WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

We’ve made up. We’ve brayed up. We’ve found some new strangers, who have probably become really great friends. We got tans through the Summer. Tried to take up new hobbies. We’ve ALL been on a diet, at some point. We’ve earned a bunch of money. We’ve spent it all on rubbish. J Some dipped into their past. Some are looking forward to the future. Some put our stepping stones in place, to march boldy into 2018.

We’re in November of 2017. It’s been a great one for me so far (and yes it’s still going,) but it’s been a tough one. Not just for me, but for everyone. You’ve either made changes, or committed to non glitzy ruts.

Let’s have some fun now, hey!

I’m bored of being anxious. I’m bored of being stressed. I feel BOUJI AS HELL, right now. I feel like the world is my oyster. It all feels so glitzy, that I could even *wink* it as ‘magical.’ I am the luckiest girl in town.

For the rest of 2017, and we only have a few weeks, i’m just gonna commit to art of ‘good times.’ I’ve made all my appropriate changes now (I still have one left,) to guide me merrily into the New Year. I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m excited. I have a new chapter a dawning in January. I’m just gonna fling on a jumper, slip on a pair of knee high boots, whop out a smile and with giant Skinny Prosecco in my hand, I’m gonna celebrate life and the 11 months that 2017 has brought me so far.

I’ve worked my arse off this year. No one can take that away from me. But, without balance, you’ve have nothing. The most successful humans have everything. Not just riches. Not just love. They have everything. They’ve stayed true to what they’ve always wished for and they got it. They’re HAPPY. They have their dream job and make money from it, handsomely. They’ve found their ideal partner, who loves them whole heartedly without condition. They have fun. Lots of it! They’re raising a family. They do everything and manage it ALL, SO WELL, that it’s actually MORE than BLISS. It’s EASY. They wake up every morning and feel ALIVE.

 That is SUCCESS to ME.

Anyway, let me cut the jigglies…

Wait…i’ve just got a Whatsapp Message from ‘London Business Man.’ He’s in Hong Kong. I think he’s been doing something crazy like five flights in four days. It’s great because we’re really good friends now and you would’ve never thought that because obviously I had ‘London Business Man’ drama a couple of years ago. We were never together. But at the time, years ago… I did want to be. He didn’t. He just fancied me, had just got out of a relationship and wasn’t looking for anything serious.

Long story short…my life changed. I left him to it and I stopped speaking to him. We fell out. He dated someone else. They broke up. I fell for a completely new ‘swirl’ who had me head over heels, in excitement…for most of this year. That swirl calmed down… I don’t like that it ‘calmed down.’ I like the guy a lot. But what can you do? Just it’s life….

Why have I gone on such a massive rant…?

Basically…’London Business Man’ says he misses me.

Firmonnell (My best chick friend): ‘You need to not bother…He just likes the chase..and it’s not like you’re actually going to chose to be with him now.’

I have a busy next year and I think on the whole, he maybe wouldn’t understand my work commitments.

Inadequate Chris: ‘That’s why people in entertainment, usually date people in entertainment.’

Yet i’m not one to judge. I sometimes ACT needy, because i think it’s how i should act, but in real life, i’m quite the independent chica. Don’t get it twisted. I’m tough as bricks.

So yeah, I actually don’t know him romantically. He’s just a good friend. But i’ll definitely do cocktails with him next time i’m in London. The rest of the year’s about fun right. I have a lot to fit in. I mean my BEST LA Baby Brother, Ronnie is flying in from LA to see me in December. (It’s so cute, because when we were young we’d play ‘doing photoshoots’ and tell each other everything. We both ended up being real life models. I got on the telly. I started this blog. He ended up leaving the catwalk to become a Celebrity Chef in LA, and have his own show.

To this day…we are still the best of friends and all from us working part time, in a gym together, when he was 19, in West Hollywood. We have so many memories. But I’ll tell you about them when he arrives.

(I’m currently trying to find my Lypsal, as my lips are dry as hell! Are yours?)

Anyway, I’m currently writing this whilst sat on my bed in a faux fur. I’ve completed the school run with Ruby and Junior. I didn’t have an early start. I’m off to find coffee and because this afternoon, I’ll be at Trinity Leeds, with Candy Mechanics. They’re gonna turn me into a chocolate lollipop today for their live launch, as their super robotic, modernised candy making stall, opens up in Leeds, in a couple weeks for Christmas. If you’ve been at events…You may have found their novelty stands, as entertainment and gift favours. If not….you can order online and be turned into chocolate yourself. I’m so excited. I really honoured that they wanted me to go down and take a peeky. The kids were mean to go, but they’re in school today, so I promised to take them down when the Pop UP officially opens.

Love you lots.

I need coffee…

Cue: Random Tune that I ADORE

 

Have a great FRIDAY!!!

 

We’ve Made It To Thursday….

Image may contain: 1 person, close-up

I’m feeling great! I mean there is STILL part of my life that is lulling in the ‘dull ‘ zone, however soon that ‘grey’ will be dashingly done and dusted. The rest of my life is ‘ooh laa.’ It’s magical.

Right….Many great things are happening to me right now and I can’t even believe it. My friends can’t even believe it.

Firmonnell: ‘I cannot actually believe that you’re going to be doing that! Lol.’

Me: ‘I know, it’s CRAZY.’

I guess opportunity has come a knocking and it’s certainly come threefold. Opportunity didn’t use to knock. I’d chase and chase and it still never knocked. For some reason now…it’s not only knocking, but i have a ‘bell’ that buzzes you straight into Wunna Land with automatic glitter doors, as big beefy security jiggles through the masses to pick the best pieces to the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ jigsaw.

I’d like to say it was luck, but to be fair, i’ve worked really hard, not as hard as I could’ve done, but come the New Year, i’ll now have that time to smash it. Work hard for what you want. It happens. And girls…please don’t feel downtrodden by others…be it men, life, the way you look etc..Normal chick issues. You can do anything. You really can. I am living proof of that. If i could empower every women in the entire  world, i’d be a happiest glamour puss in all of the land.

At the same time as hard work, I’m a big believer in fate. You get what you’re meant to get. You miss out on the things that aren’t right for you. You learn lessons along the way. No meeting is ever worthless. You encounter and cross paths with the people you’re supposed to. And If something’s meant to be, it will always come to you, or find its way back to you.

HOWEVER, if you don’t try to pursue the things that make you feel magical in life, then you’ll never get anywhere. You’ll always find yourself sat in your ‘why am I here’ rut. I’m Wunna Land. That’s not how I play drinking games. 🙂 A fire doesn’t start without a spark. And if anyone can spark a ‘gusto’ it’s moi!

Feel empowered. Be excited. Only do the things that you LOVE. Take the reins of your existence and shimmie it with everything that you stand for. Be the very best version of YOU.

A guy stopped me yesterday, as I was walking down a top flight of stairs with a Pot Noodle in my hand. (It was beef and tomato.) He’s Geordie, he tells ‘grandad’ type jokes and dresses up as 101 Dalmations at parties. Anyway, he stopped me and simply said,

‘The only thing that dissolves fear is ACTION. There’s something about you Chrissie. Something tells me you’re gonna be in a great place and never look back.’

Me: ‘Yeah. I’m not scared. I’m ready now. I actually feel held back.’

He smiled, like he was proud…and then I tottered off to eat my Pot Noodle. Yippeee!

Around Wunna Land, other shit was happening. ‘Hustle Barbie’ had decided to send suggestive messages to girls, from our guy friend Jonesez. She never learns that you don’t prank Jonesez because he lives for revenge and his excitement for it, is hardly ever punctuated. He don’t give no ‘hoot in hell.’ Bottom line…you’re fucked. So as she sat all smuggly, with her ‘i’ve sent messages’ head up in the air. He went to her car and smeared moisturiser all over the door handle of her car. She thought it was bird poo. I watched the snapchat an thought it was hummous….and what is honestly worst than innocently trying to get into your car and having your hand dolloped and smeared in a gooey, unknown substance. I’m a germaphobe, so to me…that is devastating. Hustle Barbie’s a vegan…She just got on with life.

I’m getting loads of love from ‘da ladies’ right now. My inbox is usually filled with messages from gentleman, who fancy their chances at adoring a glamour puss. Lol. Right now and because i’ve recently done one f the most uplifting interviews, that you’ll all see shortly, I have a jolly…if jolly meant ‘sexy’ bundle of chick ‘yahoos.’ Girls are naughty. Some have gone beyond the ‘you’re such a queen, I love you.’ To ‘I can’t even tell you what i want to do to you. *Devil face emoji.*

It’s hot. I love it. And it’s all because I said, that my Girl Crush (and if you know me or read this blog, you should  already know) that my GIRL rush is ELLEN DEGENERES. No one loves this women more than me…and I do mean sexually and not just in a ‘fan girl, oh yeah she’s funny’ kinda way. I need Ellen in my life! She’s my perfect woman.

Obviously….I’m straight. (I have an unfortunate and somewhat colourful history that pin points this. I’ve romanced a lot of gentleman. 😉 ) Yet. OH MY GOD, I properly fancy Ellen Degeneres with even inch of my heart and loins…that I don’t think that I could live without stalking her Instagram, every second. J This crush hasn’t recently occurred. This crush occurred in my mid 20’s whilst I was living in LA.

The quote from my interview, which comes out shortly is…

‘I could meet any guy in the entire world and not feel a single piece of the nerves. If I meet Ellen Degeneres. Like she was just right there infront of me, I might possibly DIE and then try and snog her after cocktails.’

Now, cos they do….all my real life chick friends are trying to steal my crush.

Hustle Barbie: ‘I think i’ve stolen your girl crush.’

(Then she posts a screenshot that tells me how Vegan Ellen Degeneres is. Do know that ‘Hustle’ has gone from ‘I really fancy a sausage sandwich to the absolute height of VEGANISM. She’s recruiting. Be warned.)

So yeah, now she fancies my Girl Crush, because my girls crush doesn’t eat animals in any way shape or form.

Hustle Barbie: ‘She’s mine now.’

Me: ‘I will only become a Vegan if Ellen tells me to. Back of Blondy, she loves me not you. Lesbians love me, even though I eat bacon.’

Me to Firmonnell: ‘Hustle is trying to steal my girl crush. Ellen’s vegan.’

Firmonnell: ‘Ha..ha..Does she fancy ALL vegans now????’

It’s weird how when we love something we try and make everyone else love it to. Hustle with her ‘don’t eat meat’ club. Me with my ‘Live life like you have nothing to lose’ thing. Keiran with his ‘I follow Jehovah….now you should too.’ All the girls with ‘Let’s go to the gym and eat healthy.’  It must be passion, or this sincere need to be *pom pommed* onto a more positive path.

Junior was so cute last night. he wanted to sleep in my bed with me, because he missed me when he went to his Dad’s.

‘Mum, i really need a snuggly something.’

‘I don’t have your blankey.’

‘I REALLY NEED A BLANKEY. Get me one of your jumpers. A snuggly one, that smells like you.’

I produced my thin peach jumper, the one that has a swan on it. I’d just chucked it in my wardrobe so it radiated a mummy glow.

He rolled it up into a ball and with utter bliss in his eyes, cuddled it like his life was now complete!

Why can’t all guys be like they were when they’re young and still adorable??

Saying that my first husband used to do the same. I was living in LA working. He’s an actor, but was living in New York at the time, before he was making his move to LA. We were  moving in together, and had just met. During that time, we had to be apart. It wasn’t bad at all really. We were fine. I’m used to living apart from my counter male. Schedules, careers and busy times usually prevail. Anyway, he’d always grab an item of my clothing, like a tshirt or a nighty and take it with him, to sleep with, whenever he left to be back in New York? (I’ve just made that sound creepy. But it was actually really innocent. Hahaha.)

Anyway, I’m off. I have a really exciting next couple of weeks, where i’ll be meeting some amazing faces, who will tinker into Wunna Land. I’m going to be in Leeds, London and then Liverpool.

I’m working all day, but my next thing is tomorrow.

Tomorrow i’m be celebrating with Candy Mechanics at Trinity Leeds, as they magically turn me into a chocolate lollipop. I’m so excited. I can’t wait to be there. It’s the big old live launch, for the ever so magical pop up stall that will open in Leeds later

Boo Tricka Hoo & Fitness Guru’s

Hey! Cheeky Boo’s! Happy Halla’s. (That’s meant to be cute talk for Halloween. As in, Boo ‘tricka’ Hoo talk. J ) Now, I’m not someone who can be bothered to celebrate Halloween. I mean, I do it for the kids. But let’s face it. When you’re thirty six, a Glamour Puss, with a cocktail schedule to fit in…You really can’t be arsed to walk around the chilly breezed streets, dressed as a suggestive looking pumpkin, or even bob around to your mate’s, mate’s shindig to sip Prosecco, with lunatics. Lol. I’m casually building an empire. I can do Halloween some other time. 😉 The only pumpkin’s I want to see are ones, carved for me, in the comfort of my own home that are casually filled with rum….with straws.

Anyway! I have a lot on. My life is completely changing. I’m feeling really powerful. I’m feeling all W.O.M.A.N. I’m a bit SASSY today. Yet, i’m going to blame it on Halloween and the Dark Side getting me. (Even though I can’t be arsed to celebrate it.)

Things are exciting. Really exciting. But I will say that away from the excitement,  there are extremely long moments where in which one of my best chicks friends ‘Fairytale Blond’ are submerged utter boredom. (I don’t know how we’re getting through the weeks, but we are…with smiles and probable evening wine.) Don’t let dullness sponge its way through you. Change your environment. It’s really bad for you and gives you wrinkles.

I cannot TELL YOU, how utterly important I think it is to DO WHAT YOU LOVE. I say it all the time, I know. But just listen…again. J I’m always one to believe in just being brave and going for it, as you really have nothing to lose, other than lost time. That’s all you have to lose, when you look at the big picture. Happiness and success…and all that jingle, only really happens when you commit to doing the things that you love. And I don’t just mean that in work. I mean that romantically also. It makes such a huge difference. So take a look around yourself today and see whether you’re in ‘Zone Happy’ or just settling because you have to. If you’re just settling, or not working towards something magical that makes you smile…then that’s you done. You might as well ‘grey’ button yourself out for a while, until you wake up.

My New Year is going to rock with shimmie bells and simply because I became brave, stuck a feather in a cap and went with ‘galloping’ to ‘dreams come true.’ (I’ve glamourised that. I don’t gallop.)

But for example… ‘Hustle Barbie’ spoke to me before the weekend, across a desk, with files by her side and said,

‘I don’t know what to do? It’s like I need someone to make my decisions for me.’

Me: ‘You do know what you want to do. You’re just scared to. Which actually DOESN’T make you indecisive. It just makes you a scaredy cat.’

Fear is awful. Don’t do it. It gives you a stress rash. No one wants a rash that begins with ‘Stress.’ Infact, no one wants any rash really, it goes badly with cocktails and first dates. ‘Double B’ currently has thrush, after recovering from tonsillitis. Lol. Normal people wouldn’t then suggest that ‘being a stripper’ might possibly be a better money making’ option for her.

Me: ‘What???? Yeah, best stripper ever! This one comes with THRUSH and Tonsillitis. £20 a dance! Haha.’

Away from that, last night after reading Junior his bed time story. He went for Hansel and Gretel. When I say read, we kinda only watch the ‘read for us’ story together on his tablet. Lol. But he loves it, so that’s all that matters. He adores me laying next to him for a love and a cuddle. I adore a love and a cuddle too with Baby Junior also. It’s bliss.

But anyway, when his little eyes surrendered to sleep. I tucked myself into my own bed, turned out the lights and like everyone began to scroll through my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. Great tool for catching up with what is going on, secretly stalking the people you fancy, promoting yourself and LEARNING. I love to learn. But only the things I want to learn. 😉

After Googling a whole bunch of people. (I’ve noticed that I never Google myself now. I used to always Google myself.) Anyway, I ended up cyberlanding in the world of Joe Wicks. Done pretty well for himself, hasn’t he! What an amazing. What a talent! He’s built a big old social fitness empire, that has developed into utter success, tv and riches, via the fine art of inspiring others to be fit and healthy. Great guidance occurred before the magic happened. Welcome The Body Coach.

I read all about him…Infact, I was so inspired, I almost signed up for his 90 day fitness plan.  If he can get ME to almost dedicate my life to fitness (eating lean I can already do) than he’s  GODLY. I wish he did the low calorie cocktail version of his plan though. As i’m not sure it caters for Glamour Pusses. His fitness video is all shirtless and lunges, as you jog on the spot. A favourable routine that gets you results. My fitness video would be shopping in stilettos and stopping to LIFT your cocktail glass every 3 seconds. Great for the arms and the soul? If I sign up to his plan. I’m gonna need support. Lots of it. If it actually get through it…then I’ll label him a genius. I’ll leap to his offices and ‘Pineapple Dance Studios’ high kick in glee.

(I then Googled exquisite heart shaped diamonds. 😉 I loe a bit of Dalby Diamonds.)

Right! I’ve got to get ready now….I’ve got to get to work. But this Friday i’m in Leeds, Trinity Leeds, with Candy Mechanics…Where i’m going to be turned into a chocolate lollipop for kicks! I know! I love it. I’m so excited! I’ll tell you more about it when I get home…

Godda dash….

 

 

Well That Went Wrong & Bibles…

What a night. Gosh! There I was thinking all was well. I worked all day. Shimmied through it, as per usual. Thought through new business deals. Talked through life with friends. Enjoyed Soya nuts with newly vegan ‘Hustle Barbie.’ Enjoyed cups of tea with ‘Fairytale.’ Secret giggled with ‘Firmonnell’ about idiocy. Appreciated that I didn’t do finance for a living. Drove home. Chilled a second. Poured a wine. Dashed for cuddles with Ruby and waited the arrival of Junior. (Who spent the day with his Dad.)

Oh gosh!

The arrival of Junior via his Father…Keiran.

You should all know the tale. If you don’t, I’ll fill you in. I’m a single mum of two. Both children have different fathers. I’m not with either gent, however we ALL get on really well and co parent the children better than anyone could EVER co parent. I used to be married to Keiran.

This evening, at around 7pm. Keiran shows up at my doorstep to drop Junior off, who was filled with Mummy love and life. As soon as arrives, he says..

‘I need to come in for a second. I need to speak to you.’

(When this happens, it’s usually something bad.)

‘Don’t worry. It’s not anything bad. Hang on….Ruby, Junior can you both just go into the living for a second, whilst I talk to your mum.’

Junior refuses to. But Ruby just seems to get the score without a moments prompting (almost like she had seen this little shindig happen a million times before,) so she hold hers brother’s hand, whilst she walks him into the living room, and tells him she’s going to read him a story.

So, I’m an open girl and I’ve always made sure whilst raising the kids, that I keep everything with Ruby, Junior and I expressive and open. So I don’t like closed doors, drama and whispers. Especially in my own home. You can’t come into someone elses home and do that. It creates a sense of awkwardness.

Anyway…he begins with…

‘Don’t be alarmed…’

It’s never good when people start with a sentence of sorts. But he explained a situation that I already knew about…so with a warmth, I just smile and say,

‘Yeah, don’t worry. That’s fine.’

(I’m good with the BIG STUFF.)

He thanks me. Everything’s fine. (Awful word is ‘fine,’ as it rarely means dandy.) He seems relived. We’re all smiley. Things are sorted. I expect him to now leave, after the baby drop off…

Then no……..because ofcourse in Wunna Land is EVER that simple.

THEN Keiran decides he’s going to take it upon himself to try to convert me into being a Jehovah’s witness. 🙂 I’ve worked all day. I’m tired. This is my home time with the kids.

Basically….I’m having none of it. My SASS levels rise…I even had my kitten specs on lol….and without going into it all….Here is how it went…

‘Right! What YOU believe, is what YOU believe and i’m fine with that. But what I believe is what I believe and YOU NEED TO BE cool with that. I’m not someone who wants to hear about flipping Jehovah or Armageddon or some juicy little paradise that you think that you’re going to at 7pm at night.

I believe in life and just living it in the now and i’m fine with that. I don’t wish to be weirdly immortal forever. When i’m alive, I’m alive and when i’m dead i’m dead. What matters to me is NOW. I could walk out of this house and get run over by some manic driver and it’ll all be over. Right NOW is what matters to me and right now, I could be spending time with the kids, who I adore, instead of talking about the Bible with you!!

You can’t tell me what will happen to me when I die, because you don’t flipping know.’

‘I do know. It’s the word of GOD.  We need to meet up and do Bible Studies.’

WHAT!!!! Don’t talk shit at me Keiran. When we met in a gym six years ago, you were a completely different person. ANN SUMMERS SPONSORED OUR WEDDING!!!! I don’t try to tell you how to live your life. Don’t push yours on mine. It’s like me trying to tell someone what it’s like to be in the Army, when i’ve never experience BEING in the Army. I can only tell someone what I THINK i know, where you would actually know what its like to be in the Army. Get it???’

 ‘Yes. I completely get it.’

He almost stops…But no…he goes on…

‘Why don’t you wish to be immortal forever… You don’t want to end up in paradise?’

‘WHAT!!! What are you on about! I’M FLIPPIING HAPPY. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I ‘M HAPPY, THE CHILDREN ARE HAPPY AND LET ME TELL YOU…DURING MY LAST SECONDS ON EARTH, I’M NOT GOING TO BE WISH I HAD READ VERSE 43 OF THE FLIPPING BIBLE AM I! I’M GOING TO BEGGING TO SEE MY KIDS FOR ONE LAST TIME!!’

By this point, I was FUMING and he knew it. (It must’ve been the ex wife scowl.) And I never lose my rag. I’m  usually so chilled, I could be laid on a flamingo lilo, floating around a pool, in the sunshine, with my pina colada and a wink. But I lost it with him today. Calmly. But FIRMLY. And i lost it because he kept trying to FORCE me to believe something I didn’t and DON’T believe in. And I understand Keiran better than anyone. I get why he’s where he’s at right now in life..No one in the world is MORE understanding that I am. I don’t judge anyone. I respect him. I respect the beliefs of others. But you don’t come into Wunna land and ….well… you get it.

YOU DON’T NEED A WORD.

I don’t need a Bible study session. God loves me. I’m good with God.

Here’s the moral…..

The moral of the story is to not force people to do things that they don’t wish to do. YET also for you as humans, to always stand by what you believe is morally right. DO life, YOUR WAY.

It’s your version of it.

Respect people for what they believe in. What they stand for. We’re all different and that’s what’s great about us and after the world’s taken a turn, Keiran and i will just go back to ‘happy go lucky’ co parenting again, like it never even happened.  And I like that.

Anyway, he knew it was time to leave…and with smiles galore and a…

‘Please don’t swear Chrissie…Satan will….’

‘If I wanna swear, i’ll swear. I’m not doing Bible studies with you Keiran. I’m not that lost. I’m really busy and right now I just want to spend some time with the children’

He was actually really pleasant about it all…even though he might have eyed up my boobs a little…(Hmmm…not very religious of him) and then he left.

‘I’ll text you.’

I shut the door.

Ruby: ’ I heard all that! Let’s just get into our comfies and watch some telly Mum.’

And just like that…Wunna land refound it’s fabulousity and got back to normal… with a fresh wine pour and a wink!

PS/ Ann Summers did actually sponsor our wedding years ago and our wedding table favours were limited edition delicately wrapped ‘bullets’ and cock rings. Lol. It was all about pleasure. 😉

Then we split up. And weirdly as stories and chapters go….The break up, was the best thing (on both sides) that we could’ve ever done.

 

Wunna Land Gossip, My Diary, My Life

This last week has been swirled with a gooey glitter splurge of insanity. It’s been madness!! I can’t even tell you, but i’ve done it with grace and a smile on my little oriental face. There hasn’t even been time to blog. I’ve spun plates, on all levels, like some Hero of femininity. Unfortunately for me, I’m not ‘some hero’ at all, i’m simply managing my life in order to get the best out of it.

Yeah, I’m a single mum of two with a mighty career load…but so are a lot of chicks. All I can tell anyone in my situation is to NOT GIVE UP. You can do it, get through it and see the results that you want. You’ve just godda keep at it and not feel sorry for yourself.

I remember sitting in this acting class in LA as a 22 year old and the guy who owned the school came in to give us some ‘life lesson’ lecture. He told us that the majority of people DIDN’T MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE, simply because they GAVE UP. I held onto that. It’s true. So when you prioritize, work hard, don’t get distracted and rest when you can, you’ll smash it. You’ll even get better at it. Everyone that adores you, will always be there, when you come out of that tunnel.

I probably worked 19 hours of each 24hr day last week, continuously, until it was time to sleep. Lol. My diet got glamorously flung out the window. I wanted to get skinny for no reason, so i looked great for filming. I don’t even feel fat. I feel great. I love my body..even the wibbly bits. So, it wasn’t a priority. It got flung. Everything was..

‘I’d like a bucket of chicken wings with hot sauce, onion rings and a Pina Colada, please.’

The Pina Colada is essential. I can’t do anything without a cocktail by my side. It’s less about the drinking and more about the fact that they make me smile when they’re near me. 😉  I also like luxury. I can slum it with the lasses. But I don’t prefer to. It doesn’t make me feel comfy. Lol. I’ve added the requirements onto my ‘DIVA list.’ My Diva list is the list of ‘Wunna Must Haves’ that is produced when I’m going to appear somewhere, be it business or pleasure…Y’know, like Rockstars would ask for shit like Green M & M’s.

My requirements are now, PHONE CHARGING FACILITIES, WIFI, LUXURY WHEREVER IT CAN BE APPLIED & TWO WELL MADE COCKTAILS. (I’m used to doing the 2 for 1 cocktails at Ego now. Hence why two drinks are an absolute necessity.)

My chicks friends have been dandy. Mel’s been gyming it, Fairytale Blond is having a phantom pregnancy, Hustle Barbie is stroking dead pigeons, Jonesez is pretending to be a Vegan so Hustle fancies him, Double B has heightened her ‘Sass’ levels and Firmonnell and I have turned up our life mode to the art of  ‘C’est La Vie.’ I think both Hustle and Firmonnell had agreed that they’ve either made up or blocked their childhoods out for no real reason and the PE teacher that I used to chat to, about 2 years ago…has been hailed the ‘Hottest Teacher in The World’ by the Daily Mail. I knew it had to be press for something, so I checked and he’s going to be a new fitness presenter for the BBC. He was actually on that really ace reality show ‘Last man Standing’ years ago. He deserves a break because he’s worked really hard for it. We’re good friends, i know him well, so if he manoeuvres all his work correctly, he could actually be a huge star!

Me: ‘I’d wondered what he had been doing all of this time??’

Firmonnell: ‘Sit ups….OBVIOUSLY!!’

Firmonnell and I actually going to see a clairvoyant together on Wednesday, Susan Woods. I’m really excited to blog about it all. It feels juicy. Plus, we’ll be delighting in Prosecco all the way there, so i’ll take any bad news with glee and a prosecco dripped happiness. It’s glamour pussing…honest. *Yayur*

I messaged her yesterday complaining because she wasn’t with me whilst I was trapped, in some kind of ‘Countries of the World’ drinking Disney Land. Not that I could ever feel TRAPPED in a place of such absolute wonder. I mean, I could’ve had Sake in the Japanese hut, Rum in a reggae chill zone, Austrian Ale in some log cabin and vodka in an iced mountain den. A Disney Land for total alcoholics.

Firmonnell: WHY AM I NOT THERE! SEND ME PICTURES NOW.

I had Baby Junior, as Ruby had opted for doing the Blackpool Illuminations with her Dad. Junior convinced me to purchase his poor little ‘hard done by’ self  a DRUM KIT. Massive ROOKIE ERROR! What was I thinking!!!! So yeah. No fun in the Disney Land for boozers for me. I HAD TO CARRY A DRUM KIT AROUND WITH ME…(glamourously..of course.) Then he demanded that we go to Ego for drinks and a bread board. So we did…..I definitely got tricked, rinsed and by my own loin fruit. My own darling creation. (He filmed this morning and DEMANDED that his drum kit was in every scene and that everyone heard him smash out irregular drum beating to JINGLE BELLS …continously. After filming he got sent off for his usual Sunday ‘Daddy Day’ with his Jehovahs Witness Father.

I’m currently having to write this from the back of my Mum’s car, as she drives us all to lunch. That’s how i’m having to utilize my time now. The rest of The Wunna’s are actually doing well also. They will be welcoming themselves to entertainment shortly….both with me and without me. ((I know! I can’t believe how everything’s panning out!)

Mum: Well Chrissie’s been writing the blog and it’s turned HUGE by accident & so  she’s getting plunged back into TV. Now… because of the blog, we’re ALL getting asked to do all sorts. She always said you only live once….and I guess right now….we’re going to have fun as a family, yet under extraordinary circumstances. People must be inspired by her? I mean, she’s my own and even I look at her sometimes and think gosh I don’t know how she does it!!??!!’

(Aww… I have an ace Mama!)

The great thing is that by the end of December, everything changes for me and I step into a new chapter. Things will be much easier for me. I’m someone who embraces new chapters with ease, as they seem to have happened to me a lot in life…both good and bad. I focus on the good. I told you. I don’t waste my time on the bad. I have so much to be happy about and a future that feels charmed, right now. I don’t have anymore auditions this week, so I can concentrate on the blog, which is what I love the most! I’ve signed up to some really exciting collabos and brand deals and I can’t wait for you to see the fun!

Right we’ve pulled up. The cars stopped. I’m off to lunch.

Happy Sunday!

Cocktaily Happiness & Chicken Chow Wunna?

The best weekend ever. Just filled with everything that I’ve wanted to do and nothing that i’ve HAD TO DO. Bliss! I feel like a proper life solider right now, as its taken a long ass time to get to this point of ‘just feeling great.’ I’m really happy. I’m looking around me and feeling as though everything that I stand for, everything that I am, everything that I’ve accomplished or everything that I love is just great and I might not have everything in the world, but what I have is so good it’s priceless. It feel juicy and that *juice* is magical.

It’s weird because I always feel like I’ve achieved a lot. Career wise. Emotionally. All sorts. I’ve set myself goals throughout life and pretty much smashed them with a wink and maybe a bit of a wiggle. Yet, I guess, it important for people to not compare themselves to other people. A lot of people do that. The whole, ‘I don’t have what they have’ syndrome. But the real fact is, that you have what’s ours and you can create your own future. You’re always a decision away from that. Yet, it’s when you look around yourself and you see how great you’ve done, when you appreciate the good things in your life and flush away the shitty bits…it’s then when you start to feel good.

Do your life. Your way. Enjoy it. Do it the way you’ve always wanted. Say what you want. Life the way you’ve always wished. It makes you feel good and when you feel good….good things happen to ya. Simples!

People screw themselves over with the picture in their head of how their life is supposed to be. Absolutely be inspired. I’m really dynamic by nature. I’m someone who is naturally ambitious, but just not a dick. Get what you want. Work hard for it. But all the while you’re forgetting to smell the roses, know that you’ll never get to your happy place.

I had a busy Friday, yet it lead me into an awesome Saturday. I did a quick Friday night drink at Ego before home. It was cute because I was pissed off with work stuff and therefore expressed my pissed offidness to Bartender Josh. Yet I peeked to his side, one of his other young bartendery companions, was all blushy …but macho because a girl, a hot one that he really adores had walked into the restaurant. It’s cute to watch how guys react to a girl they actually really adore. Not a shabby one. One that they actually fluster for. It changes them. It’s weird. They worry about how they’ll come across. They don’t want to mess it up. Yet at the same time, even though their heart is all a flutter, they always try and play it cool. It was cute. I hope she adores him. (And me being a girl…I know she does. 😉 )

But  yes, i’ve had the best ‘lay in’s all weekend. I spent my Saturday with Ruby and Junior (My babies, The Wunna Babies.) We just did life, loved it and laughed through it. We shopped, we played, we lunched, we picked out our design for this years Christmas tree. We read to each other. We had a dance off. But more than anything we just loved. I’m SO lucky. I never take anything for granted, at all ever and it disturbs me when people do.

Yes, i’m sassy. Yes, I’m a bit of a swaggalicious bad ass. 😉 I’ll tell it how it is and i’ll do it with banter and glamorousity. But my soul is good. There’s a light hearted warmth to me. You’ll only ever know that if you’re near me, because you’ll feel it. I treat people well and I treat them well when i have the upmost respect for them. I treat them well even before that. That’s why I hate bad manners and people who treat others, or especially myself 🙂 shitty, because no one likes it, no ones deserves it and it doesn’t go well with a cocktails. I’m not trying to sound ‘Rainbow Brite’…it’s dull and not real, because let’s not get it twisted, if you were to push my ‘ DIVA’ button,

HA H’HAA!

You’d hate it.

Firmonnell and I have been texting all day. Big D (her Hubbster)  is sick, so she was looking for a ‘Motherly’ companion to do life with…away from getting the lergy. Ruby & Junior do Sunday’s with their Daddies..so this Mother has dresses to buy and cocktails to drink. 🙂 I’m at a charity event tomorrow in Blackpool, so I had to do last minute ‘dashing,’ writ this blog and then treat myself to booze afterwards. My night will be filled with dress fittings, warm baths and tanning. Yeah Dolls!

Firmonnell: ‘I’m in a shit play area.’

Me: ”I’m off to do cocktails.’

I’m getting loads of messages right now. I’m reading the good ones and frisbeeing away the bad ones. Anything that comes into Wunna land with a naggy tone of ‘eww’ or bad news get’s frisbeed. All that’s good….get’s embraced with kitten kisses.

Mel’s tripped over a hoover and cut her head open. Rocco my kitten is enjoying life in Wunna land. I’m excited for Christmas. I’m excited for the New year. I’m keeping things simple and not opening doors that don’t want me to open them. Good things feel like they’re coming. You know when you can just sort of feel it in the air? I can feel it, they’re coming.

Next Year…the career takes a step up. It’s an exciting time.

But all in all, what can I say, other than I have ACE guy friends. So Reuben, I’ve known him for millions of years. Since I was a teen. Normal people, would just have a Sunday roast and get on with their day. He could’ve had banter with his Baby Ramona. Made love to his girlfriend. But no…Reuben decides he’s going to create this picture…

Image may contain: 1 person, food

…and post it on my Facebook wall. It’s meant to be ‘Chicken Chow Wunna.’ Hahaha.

I was driving about. I had no clue what was going on. Pulled up. Looked down at my phone. DIED when I saw that Reuben had posted something on my wall…and then saw the above picture. LOl.

Luckily for Reuben, we share the same sense of humour  and weirdly, in that moment I sat in my car, outside of Junction 32 PISSING MYSELF laughing at it for a good 4 minutes, like a nut job, in my faux fur and knee high boots.

Hahaha.

It’s ace. It properly made me smile. Now my Facebook wall is filled with all sorts. A dildo, some dirty knickers or something? I can’t keep up.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, text     Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

I dread what he’ll do to my pics from tomorrow evening’s event, as one of his favourite’s will be there. It makes him really creative. Lol.

Me: ‘Is this gonna go on all day?’

Reuben: ‘Just until I have something to do…’

But I guess, it’s the small things….

It’s always the small things…

Chrissie x

The Dodgiest Yoga & What I like in Men

When you think your world is dipped in luxury and divinity and then just like magic, one of my trusted chick friends, ‘Hustle Barbie’ turns around and makes it even better (if ‘Better’ meant Dodgy’) by saying..

‘So one of my friends ended up doing WOMAN HOOD YOGA the other day.’

Don’t know what that is? Neither did I!

Get this…

So  WOMAN HOOD YOGA, costs a whole fifty pounds.

I love a bit of downward dog.’ I’ll stretch it out ‘lotus’ to mood music and embrace total enlightenment with the best of them. I especially like the nap bit at the end. I only go for the nap bit at the end.

But ‘Hustle’s chick friend didn’t do normal YOGA, as nooooooo that would be far to civilized for a Wunna Land blog story. She did ‘WOMAN HOOD YOGA; where you are instructed to DRAW A PICTURE OF YOUR OWN VAGINA (YES, in yoga) and before the actual YOGA part begins, you are told to INTRODUCE YOURSELF & then introduce YOUR VAGINA to the entire group. (YES! TO THE FUCKING GROUP! 🙂 )

You pay fifty whole POUNDS to do this and look like a really stretchy, yet moderately saucy plank, in front of other females, who have also, like you… been forced to draw Picasso’s of their privates and ‘introduce’ them lovingly to a crowd. I mean I thought ZUMBA was pretty bad…and do know that I’m far TOO SWAG to be doing anything shit like Zumba. (I’ll smash a hip/hop dance class, and glide out a bit of pilates, but gyrating to Kylie tracks in neon lycra, like a weird dancey warrior princess, isn’t happening. EVER. I’m a glamour puss.)

But yes, I NEED to BE a ‘WOMAN HOOD YOGA’ instructor and simply because it fills my humour glands with absolute GLEE and well…let’s face it…i’d bloody rinse it!

‘Hi I’m Chrissie Wunna. Welcome to fifty pound yoga. Now draw your vagina, introduce it to chicks. Cheers! See you next week!’

Whoever invented that is a ‘Downward Dog’ MONEY MAKING, quirky feminist GENIUS. Lol.

Then she told me she had a dream about her nephew’s head being an egg custard, so I ignored her for a bit and decided to just *squeak* at Firmonnell. (The safer option. Safety FIRST!)

I tell ‘Firmonnell’ EVERYTHING, literally all about my life, my feelings and my secrets. I’m expressive. So yeah, I tell people a lot of things regardless. I believe in being open. I have no regrets. And if you’re close to me, I’ll tell you more than a lot. I’m honest. YET if you’re ‘Firmonnell’ I tell you EVERYTHING and then ask for advice.

She instructed me on my love life today. I’m shit at doing my ‘love life,’ but so great at doing everything else possible. No one wants me to end up being the dodgy cat lady. But honestly, I think that’s where i’m headed. I mean GOSH, I’m independant as HELL. I love my life. I live it. I’m successful. I don’t look too dodgy. I adore romance. I do it all. But oh my WORLD am I crap at love, when it comes to ‘knowing what to do to make it stick forever.’

I’m so crap, it’s funny. Yet not funny when i’m 80, alone and with all my CATS! I’m really good at knuckling down and concentrating on my career. I can block everything out and concentrate on my career. But that’s not balance. That’s just money and no person is forever successful without good balance or love. That’s why workaholics never become an absolute success. When they turn old, they realize that they’ve only become half the person that they always  wanted to be. That alone is pretty dull. I’m smart enough to know that and sassy enough to do something about it.

Anyway, to be honest, i’ve felt great all day because something made me ‘squeak.’ I turned to my left, saw ‘Firmonnnell’ and *SQUEAKED*. I’ve told you before that I only ever *squeak* when i’m really truly happy. I was really excited! It was the PEAK of joy. I *SQUEAKED* TODAY at ‘Firmonnell’ because something filled me with the fondest memories, the best gush of ‘Victory Punch’ and made me feel alive. I like to feel ALIVE. It keeps that heart beating. I hold onto those moments like treasure. I also hold onto humans that make me feel alive. I hold onto them like ‘non materialistic’ 😉 diamonds. (What? I’m bouji.)

Anyway, a *squeak* is awesome because it fills you with the greatest energy and that energy alone tinkers the most insane amount of good luck to you. It’s just a moment where in which your soul is so jam packed with glee that it could absolutely explode. Obviously, you can’t absolutely explode with glee, but you can’t define the way you feel with words either…So you let out the most amazing girl *SQUEAK.* (I might have done ‘victory clutched fists’ with it also?)

That’s how I felt today. That was my day. Then we moaned about a human we know who obviously goes to therapy that doesn’t work.

Firmonnell: ‘Honestly, she’s mental. I feel sorry for her therapist cos they must just want her to hurry up and get the fuck out their room. No wonder she’s not FIXED. She just doesn’t know how to listen. She’s just draaaaaaaaaaaaags on and on and on and on.’

We all know a person like that. That person that just makes mountains out of molehills that don’t even matter. That person who  is always able to just find the negative in ever single situation. Lol. In my mind ace people SOLVE problems. The foolish create them and even worse they do not KNOW how to solve them or even TRY to come up with a solution, because they are so busy with the ‘show’ of ‘waaaa waaaa.’

I am a problem solver and I don’t take any ‘pity party’ pokery. I’m compassionate where necessary…and ‘diva’ when you’re being a swine. (Sometimes i’m ‘Diva’ just to look cool and i’m okay with that. 🙂  Infact, I love that I can be an absolute ‘Diva’ at times and totally get stamped with the ‘she’s so cool’ lergy. It’s that jizzly charm that I have.)

I’m noticing that i’m a girl who loves excitement. I love exciting people. I love energy. And I love that in work and love. I like it in love when men come forward. I find it sexy. I’m not used to it. So I adore it.  I hate having to do the leg work. It’s not feminine. I mean the other night I was having a quick drink at Ego and I was discussing guys in general with the bartenders ‘Josh ‘ and this other one who likes all things to be bouji (I don’t know his name.)

Anyway, we came to the conclusion that if a guy really likes someone, he’ll go for it. Regardless…he’ll go for it. He’ll find a way to get what he believe is HIS. Even if a guy is shy, he has the’hunter’ instinct. It’s built into him, like prosecco is built into me. I adore the idea of that simply because I think we as girls have become SO independent (and don’t get me wrong, I love an independent soul. I am an independent girl,) that GUYS have become lazy, soft, or scared. Infact all three! I personally don’t like that. I much rather someone be really honest, open and forward, than quiet, shy and thumb twiddly. It’s looooong. I’m an exciting girl.

However weirdly at the same time, as I ‘choo choo’ on  this excitement train, i’m pretty chilled. I like stability and something that I can build upon constantly. But it can’t be dull. I don’t like things that don’t ‘move.’ So technically, i’m kinda well balanced. Yeah. I’m gonna go with ‘well balanced.’ SHUUUSH! I’m going with ‘WELL BALANCED.’

I have so many exciting things to tell you, that I just can’t tell you right now. I’m an adventurous soul…so I’m lucky to have adventure on the cards leading forward! 🙂

Like I’ve been saying of recent…

Watch. This. Space.