Blending Out Bullies, My Love Life &The Future….

Afternoon, My Cheeky Little Treats!

This morning, I woke up all stressed and anxious.I don’t even know why. Then little bits of life, that respond to the names ‘Ruby & Junior’ filled my world with giggles…At that point, everything was okay again.

I’m having one of those days. One of those days when you need to crawl back into bed, speak to no one for a second, have a moment, y’know…a ‘word with yourself’ and start it all over again.

SIGHS….

However, life is rooting for me, because after the early school run, I looked down at my phone, as I watched my petrol station Costa coffee, trickle out the machine and waved at one of the Dads I know.

Anyway….I saw this on Glamour Magazines Twitter ‘Moments.’

..and it reminded me that not only did I have a purpose, but doing pretty alright at inspiring and standing up for love, myself and for others, who may not quite yet have the balls to ‘sing out loud.’

I’m really proud of the ‘Blend out Bullying‘ campaign and I’m so glad that I joined Glamour Magazines crusade to wave ‘Cya’ to Cyber bullies.

That made me smile. I skipped away from the gas station…(Sorry! I mean .PETROL station. I still think American, for some reason.) Anyway, I skipped away like the happiest bunny in all of the land, because they reminded me that no matter what, in life, I did something that helped make a difference, to someone, somewhere.

(I’d like to see MORE people ‘Blending out Bullying.’ You’re the STAR of YOUR OWN SHOW. Make a difference. See love, not dollar signs.)

As if my favourite magazine is showing Wunna Land some love…and AS IF, I appear on my favourite tv how in a couple weeks.

I’m having to pinch my kitty self…. (Ooh…Vodka spurted out. 😉 ) 

Anyway…

Last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote a blog, in the dark, whilst in bed. I’m utterly CRINGING at myself, right now. YET, I promised myself that I would flipping post it, because it’s how I truly felt, at that particular moment…at that precis time…

AND SINCE THAT’S WHAT I’M ABOUT…

*Rolls eyes…*

Here’s what I wrote…

(Rewind to last night…)

 

I’m literally sat up in bed writing this, because I can’t sleep. It’s only early. I guess around 9.30pm? But everything around me seems so still. So quiet, I feel really calm, yet my mind (as always) is fluttering. It’s busy. It’s racing. I’ve poured a wine, which is sat on my bedside table. I’m typing in the dark. I have no clue why, I couldn’t be bothered to switch a light on? I can’t see my keys, so I feel like I’m typing blind. But it weirdly feels amazing. It kinda feels really real. How all my writing should be done.

I can’t stop thinking about my life tonight and I don’t know why? I want to succeed and make all my dreams come true. Y’know, just do really well, because when you do well at the things you love…you glow and no feeling is better than that. That’s not what i’m thinking about though. I don’t even know why I typed that out?

I’m thinking about my love life.

I know! Surprised right?

I’ve just got back from a late night trip to the supermarket…to buy wine. An elderly lady stopped me. I’ve seen her around a lot. I do know her a little bit. But It usually makes her day when she sees me, because i’ll always stop and chat to her. I love making time for her. I love making her day.

Anyway…

She always tells me how much she loves me because ‘it’s good to see a girl BEING a girl…’

Tonight she told me, that I was pretty…’a beautiful girl,’ but then added…

‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’

I smiled, I thanked her. She was so cute and I adored every minute of seeing her.  I love the elderly, because they’re wise. Even the rude ones are wise. I always respect their words and absorb what they have to say. Times and things may have changed, yet how people FEEL haven’t. You can always, always learn a life lesson from an old lady or gent.

However yeah…

‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’

She’s right!!

Don’t get in a tizzy, as i’m never one to really listen to what others think…But she’s left my mind ticking. She must have. I’m sat up in bed, in my bra and glasses, typing the dark because I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about what she said?

Now, i’ve never really felt lonely. I never feel alone because my world, the world I created ‘Wunna Land,’ is filled with love. I’m surrounded by life. I have a close family, who stand by me. Ruby and Junior, my babies…Their hearts are filled with utter joy for Mama. I have some great friends. Good company at times. I have a mini sized audience, and most of all…I have me.

(I’ve always been my own best friend. I’ve always been really comfortable being ME and i’m happy with what I stand for. Yeah. I’ve disappointed myself loads, through the years. But on the whole…I’m more than happy with who I am. Who i’ve become.)

Right now, I don’t feel lonely. But why don’t I? I should, right? But I don’t…(Even the little old lady feels bad for me, now and she shouldn’t! Haha.)

I almost feel like i’m bubbling over with this exotic life force of happy juice?

It doesn’t matter what you do, provided you don’t harm others, or yourself and you are happy with your official life choices, right?

I know that i’m single and i’m aware that i’m knocking on a bit now. I feel young spirited, yet glad to be a 30 something, as I accidentally brought wisdom and dignity along with me, on my little journey.

God knows how???

I CERTAINLY thought, i’d lost BOTH at one point. I was positive I left them in some bar in LA, when I was 24. Yet, they found me. (And whenever I say God, I am always referring to ‘Bacchus’, The God of Wine.)

Yipppppppeeeeeeeee!

I know, I must NOT be scared to be alone…as I still seem quite happy to go through life picking through boys, and walking away from marriages, because they hurt my soul.

They just weren’t right, because I compromised my heart, myself, or I just wasn’t thinking….

I said ‘YES’ to those marriages impulsively, because I’m a hopeless romantic and I fall in love, when I FEEL excited and I do it so madly…so deeply.

But I  haven’t felt like that in ages.

The last guy that made me feel like that was ‘The Swirl.’ (Who i sometimes name ‘T Bone.’

When I don’t feel excited, I find it really easy to ‘shrug’ the moment off, with a ‘he’s just not the right guy.’

But I like that about me. I know how I feel and i know what love and excitement feels like. When it hits me again, I’ll notice. Yet this time i’ll be ready.

I don’t think there’s an age, when you SHOULD find love. I don’t say anything, but I hate it when I hear chicks, say, ‘I need to be married by 30.’ Or, ‘I need to find Mr.Right by the time i’m…’

You really don’t.

Love to me is always about chemistry…

I’ll find it, but this time I want the real deal.

THE REAL DEAL …

and i’ll wait forever, until I find it.

Until I feel it.

The next time I marry, (if I marry, I can’t decide if it’s an old school concept? I might be ‘blah’ about it because i’ve done it so many times and it hasn’t been right?) I’ll marry the most exceptional man. He’ll be a GREAT MAN. An incredible man…and I DO intend to one day find the man of my dreams. I fully intend on doing that…

Yet, if I don’t…I’m fine with that also. I don’t know why? I guess, I’m like this because i’m happy, right now? Maybe, it’ll kick in when i’m 80 and seriously alone, with all my cats and no one to love.

Knowing me, I’ll still feel fine and pour a rum, for everyone else, in the old peoples home, as I wink at Jeff, with the dodgy back.

If i’m being honest, unlike work, where I create my own opportunities, I kinda expect HIM (The man of my dreams)  to find ME. (Lazy, I know. Lol) I find that far more romantic. I’m traditional like that. Old school romance just gets me going…I’m finding i’m both. I love the art of old school romance, mixed with a modern day twist of unconventional, yet unconditional love.

(Mouthful much!)

I might have already crossed paths with him? I might not…Who knows? I’m just not worried about it and if you’re in the same situation as me, you don’t need to be worried about it either.

DON’T WORRY!

So, yeah….

*SLURPS WINE*

Let’s just go with he’ll find me…

Every single part of my kitten soul, says he’ll find me.

He’ll come get me…

But he’s not as pathetic as I am, so he won’t be slurping wine out the bottle, typing in the dark, in a bra and glasses. 😉

He won’t be sat awake typing a ‘Dear Diary….’ post, because a lovely old lady in the supermarket was worried about his well being.

YET…

..he’ll see the beauty in it…and think, SHIT, that’s exactly the kinda girl I both want and NEED.

I like to feel needed….

I’ve noticed that… (I get that from my Mum.)

Cheers! Hurrah! Sadness for everyone! Haha.

But yes..

There’s a single guy, somewhere in the world right now, who is utterly MADE to be my life buddy, my other half, my ‘bestie, bestie’…my soulmate…my  guy.

And I completely trust that LIFE (you jolly old thing) will have my back and send him my way, with bells on…but when the timing is exactly right.

He may already know it, or he may not? He may have no clue? He may have never ever heard of Wunna land, or even ever met me yet…?

OR, he may already be in my phone contacts…

Who knows…?

But i’m excited…Are you?

(ps/ I don’t even know if i’m gonna post this, because I usually wake up in the morning and cringe at what i’ve ‘tipper tappered.’ My mind goes wild and my keyboard fingers get all excited!! Yet, no matter how cringe, I feel, I’ll promise myself NOW, that I’ll just post it anyway… I mean **** it. It’s exactly how I felt at 9.30pm, on Nov 14th, 2018, right? And that’s what this story, this diary, my lil’ version of life, is all about.)

I messaged Toby back last night, because he had thanked me for writing the blog about him. He was quite the gentleman about the blog…He’s a utterly real being. He’s not dashed in fakery, from the brief bits I know.

Toby: ‘You’ve captured me pretty well in your blog..’

Me: ‘I’m either a really good judge of character, or just really good at stalking. Lol’ 

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

 

pps/ I’ve got a school mums dinner tonight and i’m excited. I’m meant to be at a film premiere…But I opted for the Mamas, over the red carpet. 😉

 

 

Danger Walks In Glitter Heels…

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This time yesterday morning I found myself driving to meet someone, that I technically shouldn’t have been meeting, but sometimes life, just guides you down a path, where possible flames, fire & fun, are there for the taking.

Good times, this way!

These days, when it comes to life, i’m a ‘play it safe,‘ but MY WAY, kinda gal. I’m concentrating on work and family. But as we know, my version of safe is never EVER ‘Vanilla.’ Like ‘The Gent’ that I went on the Manchester Airport date with, a month ago…had said….

‘You’re a dangerous girl. Guys love a dangerous girl.’

I guess, the glint in my little Asian eyes, will always give that away.

The real truth is, that I’m not very ‘dangerous’ at all. I’m actually just a bit foolish. Haha. I’m made up of so many ‘bits & pieces,’ that it would take a real genius, or the most patient male in the Universe, to actually begin to KNOW, how to figure me out.

(I met a guy whilst waiting at the bar yesterday, who was Autistic. He made me beam, because he was so smart, so quick and I could see his mind working, as it turned. He told me I was ‘beautiful‘ and I appreciated the love, because it was so real, raw and delivered with a bold quirkiness.)

Anyway, back to the story….

I’d been up working since five o clock in the morning. I did a shoot, around six o clock. A school run occurred in between. Yet, by 10am, my shoot was done.

I got in my car and I drove to meet a friend.

Best morning ever really. So much fun. I guess life just fancied a *TWIST* and that’s how I found myself sat there, smiling. A ‘Twist’ is good, because you always learn something from it. And through MY life…I’ve learnt A LOT. I see a ‘twist’ coming for me, before it even begins to tighten.

Some call it SKILLZ. 😉

I’ve known this person a while, but I’ve never got to hang out with them really. So it was great to just chatter, in a corner…away from drama, or stress. I need those moments. I’m needing them more and more.

It’s weird because it’s like my little Wunna boat has caught a decent wind now and gosh, we’re beginning to sail…

GLITTER SHOWERS EVERYWHERE.

‘I can’t stop looking at you.’

‘Aww! So sweet! Haha. What are you even looking at?’

‘You should probably do that top button up.’

‘I like it undone.’ 

‘Ah! You wore a skirt.’ 

‘Yeah. It’s warmer than I thought today, so I figured i’d give you that! Haha.’

‘You look ******* stunning…’

‘I look scrubbly. I’ve been on a shoot all morning.’ 

Banter, wine and chitter chatter. Sometimes, that’s all you need. It keeps your sane. It’s keeps you fresh. It keeps you excited about life, doesn’t it? And when you’re excited, you feel like you can conquer the world, in a day!

Sometimes, you can. Sometimes, you can’t. All that matters is how you FEEEEL.

(I’m finding it so hard to write this blog right now, because I’m in the warmest room ever, with a Mulled Wine headache. I guzzled mulled wine, like I was a bouji pirate last night, at Ackworth Garden Centre, by baubles. It was their Big Christmas reveal, yesterday evening. I had the most beautiful time. It was literally magical. Christmas is my favourite time of year. I’m a December born baby, incase you didn’t know.)

Anyway, he was sweet, humble and sexy. It was good to just sit and chatter, without a care in the world. Plus, he’s going to be working alongside Wunna Land soon, so it’s good for him to get to know me better, without any ‘censors.’ 🙂

‘It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be hard. But i’ll do it.’

He kept starting a sentence, pausing…not saying anything at all, as his mind looked like it was racing….and then finishing his sentence, with a simple ‘yeah.’

‘You didn’t say anything…’

‘I do that a lot..’

Haha. And you lot think i’m crackers!!

Then as the clock struck 1pm, he walked me to my car and we just got on with our own little versions of life…

If I could describe the walk,i’d say it was..

DANGEROUS.

It was a ‘Danger Walk.’ 

(But I least I did it in gold glitter kitten heels.) 

The rest of the time I spent with Ruby and Junior, before we headed to Ackworth Garden Centre, to shimmie in Christmas. The kids love it there. They’ve literally grown up, in that Garden Centre. Lol. But last night was beautiful. It was filled with happiness. It was filled with famillies, close friends and great memories.

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I love family. It’s so important to me. Ruby & Junior are so important to me. We’re this little threesome and we’ve been through such a tough time and there are moments, like with all families, where in which, we still do.

Yet 90 percent of the time, we’re WONDERFUL!

I have much more balance right now and hopefully (with everything crossed) something tells me, that we have the most magical future ahead of us.

I’m just leaving life to fate…and well…writing my diary as I go along.

ps/ I don’t think being 37 and Single is gonna be too difficult after all.? Haha. Right now, guys seem to be offering themselves over to Wunna Land, with a hop, skip and a…willy.(I’m keeping myself out of trouble though.) 

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Blogs, Boys & Heels…

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Gosh! Morning, my lil’ Twinkles! My delicious tickles of fancy. I have been SO UTTERLY *RUSHED* off my little kitten feet. It’s been mad. I’ve been busy. Yet in a way, I’m delighted, because I really do hope to one day ‘blink’ and see that ALL of my dreams have come true…and if that takes ‘busy,’ if that takes hard work,‘ than to me, I’m there. I’d rather do it, than ponder it..

TBone: ‘ It’s not what someone says, it’s always what they do…’

Especially when i’m in a productive frame of mind. Y’know, before cocktails get the better of me. Haha.

I reckon, if you can still commit to productivity, in a really great heels, you’ll smash life! 

(Oh! Wait! I thought I said that I was always gonna wear ‘flats’ now, after running for my life and falling over 40 times at Scare Kingdom?)

Nevermind. Ghosts & Kidnappers would just set me free anyway, because I’d definitely do their head in. My choice of footwear wouldn’t be an issue.

Kidnapper: ‘God! Let her OUT. Switch her for a better victim. Ooh. Shes wearing glitter heeled pumps from the ****** collection.’

I was talking to ‘Celeb Ghost Hunt’ Ash, the other day…He wants me to go on an investigation with him. I must be a sucker for terror. I hate being frightened. Haha.

Anyway, back to non frightening stuff…

I’ve travelled all over. I’ve been on shoots, auditions, i’ve been good, i’ve been bad, I’ve been influencing a jolly load, ready for the festive season. (Which is a REALLY BUSY time for everyone.) I’m also doing the single mum thing also, aren’t I? (I adore every INCH of the bambinos. Junior’s a delight. Ruby’s got her first set of glasses.) I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my world. I’m raising a Glamour puss and a Hero. Last night they both *shocked* themselves up, ran out of their rooms and got into my bed, because we all got lonely and afraid of the dark. Lol

Nobody likes to sleep alone. The only time i’m okay with it, is when i’m drunk and just need to pass out…still with my face on. (Which I don’t really recommend as a graceful little pastime. It only makes you feel worse in the morning,)

On the whole, I’m really happy, right now and when i’m this busy and this happy, it seems that I forget about my ever so rubbish love life.

I’m still 37. I’m still single. It ain’t that bad.

I’m happy a singleton. But after everything i’ve been through. The ups, the downs & the ‘mess me arounds’, i’m still not cautious.  (I still wear my heart on my sleeve.) I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I very much trust people with my heart.  EVEN NOW I  still trust that they’re going to take care of it…..because firstly I see the beauty in everyone and secondly…because i’m probably foolish. Haha.

I never know if they see me as their ‘bitch,’ their ‘bed notch,‘ or their ‘baby for life? Haha..Sounds like a Fairytale. If I can’t decide, i’ll just sit back and leave it to them, to come forward and show me what category, I fall into.

If they don’t come forward then they’re weren’t for me. (I’ll just see it all as, ‘they weren’t that interested.’) I like a forward man. A brave one.

You know why? Probably because i’m not used to guys being romantically forward me with…It’s almost like they’re terrified to be? And I have no clue why? Whatsoever? I don’t get it? You’ll see a lot of guys openly comment on my pics etc, via my ‘socials.’ Yet, the majority of them don’t..and instead shoot in a sneaky DM. (That sounds naughty! Haha.) 

I literally get one almost every 2 minutes. 

However, in real life….If a guy actually fancies me…they’re usually forward to begin with and then stop being so forward…..It’s like they want ME to chase them?

When you’re a 30 something woman, nothing is worse than having to chase a guy for attention. I’ve done it lots, much to my own embarrassment. But I don’t do it, now. EVER. Who has the time or that? If someone wants to go on a date..They should just tell me. If they want to be with me…They shouldn’t be scared to say it.

Plus, i’m quite traditional when it comes to the chase..the ‘wooing.’ I like a boy to ‘hunt & gather,‘ as I ‘fan‘ myself prettily.

Guy friend: ‘You only like them to *hunt and chase* if you fancy them though. If you don’t, you always *shut* them down and we hate that. You make the approach extremely intimidating…’

Anyway…Blah.

I’ve decided to describe my love life like this….

It’s kinda like cleaning a window, with a raggy cloth. Some day, I’ll be able to see through the glass. 😉 

I bumped into my friend Shaun yesterday. He’s a bodyguard..

Shaun: ‘It’s not like the flipping movie Chrissie!!’

He’d just got back from London. I’d just got off a busy weekend. Plus, I’m actually looking for family security and safety, right now. A wee bit of close protection. Not all the time. Just when necessary. Sometimes, when we’re out as a family or i’m influencing something, people will stop to chatter or selfie with me. And I love that. Yet, they’ll just be ME & the babies. I need to make sure they’re always watched. I’m paranoid after some creepy guy, who only knew me from instagram, followed us around Doncaster & wouldn’t leave us alone & after a guy tried to glass another guy in a Manchester bar, because he was trying to hit on me?

I didn’t know either guy…I knew they were both trying to hit on me?

All I heard was the female manager shouting..

‘Get her out the way…’

Then guys and girls starting grabbing glass bottles and smashing them up against the bar, to use in a fight!

IT WASN’T EVEN A ROUGH PLACE.

I wouldn’t have gone there if it was. 

The police even got called and the bar had to be shut down for the evening, It got that crazy.

I don’t get it?

So, it was good to briefly catch up, with Shaun.

Shaun: ‘You’re starting early…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. I don’t even care.’

(I was sat in a quiet corner at The Mallard, in Doncaster.)

Me: ‘You’ve got luggage on wheels. I hate it when people have luggage on wheels. Haha.’ 

Shaun: ‘I feel like a Trolley Dolly, but i’m working it.’

So we discussed security, talked life, work and caught up…The we dashed off. (I didn’t end up posting my blog. When people I know come up to me and start chatting, that’s it, you can’t shut me up. I’ll just spend time with them instead. But I like that about me. I put LIVING life, BEFORE typing it out.)

I guess, I need to find balance. 😉

Then Sam ‘The Reecey Reece’ fest messaged me, to see when we could schedule in ‘catch up’ time. We’re like ‘ships passing in the night.’

‘Are you free on…?’

‘Are you?’

Then I just got on with life.

I’ve had so much fun over the weekend. I’ve worked. I’ve loved. I’ve lived. I’ve had the best time. I celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Saturday. I did Xscape, Castelford with the kids. We smashed ‘Nandos.’ I did Meadowhall. I wiggled at Wagamamas.

Just so much!

I’m so grateful for how well, everyone treated me, over that time!

It was actually Pete (Ruby’s Dad’s Birthday) on Sunday. But Ruby didn’t want to hang out with him, because she wanted to do Influencing with me at Meadowhall. Being Pete. he showed up at Meadowhall, with is bestie Jay, in dying hope that he’d get to spend some time with Ruby..in her new specs.

It worked…and we all ended up doing dinner together at Wagamamas, with my Mum & brother.

But I kinda like that, we co parent well. We haven’t been together for years. In fact 7 years…Yet, it’s great that we can all ‘kick it.’ Y’know, just chill and have a duck pancake together. Lol.

When co parenting works.

Anyway, about my love life…

The weird thing is, with me being busy and ‘forgetting’ about love…It seems, that gents are peeking back into Wunna Land and tapping on my glitter door, again.

I’m calling this time..

Operation ‘Blasts From The Pasts.’ 

A couple of guys that USED to fancy me,…seemed to have returned to my DM’s with a ‘Hey. How are you?’ One guy had actually started dating a girl, but she went through his phone and *blocked* me…Haha. He didn’t even realise, until one of his other friends pointed it out.

Safe to say…They’re no longer together. (But there you have it! You shouldn’t have chosen ‘The Crazy’ over me. Hhahaha.)

It’s all good fun. A laugh. We’re all making memories.

If i could tell you anything.

I’ll tell you that I was a really lucky girl. I’ll tell you to always chase your dreams and when you feel inspired, to act upon it. A dream doesn’t just have to be a ‘make believe‘ moment. You can at least TRY and make your reality. People do it every day. Why not you? I’m living proof.

Always be kind. Always do the things that make you happy. Don’t sacrifice your true happiness, to ‘run through the motions.’ Wake up. Feel the breeze, Go with it. Nothing is better than living you best life.

Don’t listen to anyone, or anything but your gut instinct. It will show you the right way. It will also tell you when you’re ready.

Always believe in love…

It is the ONLY thing, that is going to power you through the bad times and make the good times simply MAGICAL.

Preach over…

Have an amazing Tuesday….

I love you.

 

 

 

 

Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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Baking or Blow****

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Afternoony, my delicious trickles of honey life. (I don’t know what that means either, but just go with it, eh?) I’m feeling great. I’m feeling on top of the world, kinda like it’s my oyster. I’m ready. I’m in gear and i’m gonna be getting my my ‘Sasserilla to success’ OOown!

I’m excited!

I’m an ambitious girl. Yes, i’m dipped in cocktail.  Yes. I can be wild. Yes. There are also times when i’m quite ‘chill.’ But right now. i’ve kitty whipped myself with a wink. I’ve found my ‘ooh laa.’ Everything’s changed…and now…I’M READY.

Yayur!

You’re a product of your environment. I couldn’t say that enough. If you’re environment is shit. You’re in trouble. If your surrounded by things, people, a work life, OR a love life, that doesn’t give you a rush of ‘happy,’ or a simple niggle of excitement…Then you need to change it up. You’re in the WRONG place….Stay there until you’ve learnt a lesson. It’s like a life ‘naughty step.’ Yet once the lesson has firmly *squashed* itself into your heart and mind…Your soul. Pick yourself, grow 19 ft tall and

DO ONE…

The strong ones don’t get lost in the haze forever. They find a way out, to make their dreams come true. They’re the ones with the balls, the sense…the gusto. They’re the ones that don’t make excuses for themselves, yet instead see their own faults and commit to making a change.

Preach over!

Praise the wine Gods.

Right, okay. So, two of my chick friends. I like to refer to them as ‘vanilla’ (yes dull) because they’re really different to me, yet I’m cool ENOUGH with our differences… It’s not hard for me to put up with them. It’s not for me to actually put up with anything. I’m pretty laid back.

Yet, why do ‘Vanilla’ chicks try to change ‘Fun’ chicks? Lol. Fun chicks, just get on with being FUN. They don’t waste time trying to change and control ‘Vanilla’ chicks…because we think there’s no hope for them. Haha.

Anyway, I’m always rambling on about my love life. You lot are always rambling on about my love life. It’s a key feature of my world and simply because i’m single. I can’t seem to hold a marriage down… three times over. 🙂 I’m 37. I’m great at choosing badly…Yet i’m dashed with a lil’ sprinkle of popularity and blessed with a sexy disposition. 😉

Wahey! Tit soup for everyone!

Anyway…I know they’re boyfriends, really well. (Neither chick is married yet. But, as the fairytale hoes…Hoes? Hahaha…..GOES!!!! They can’t wait for THEIR moment down that somewhat ‘Vanilla’ isle. 🙂 )

Chicks: ‘Why are you making fun of us for being kind?’

Me: ‘I’m not making fun of you for being kind. I’m making fun of you for being dumb…’

They’re boyfriends are always out on the lash, harmlessly flirting with ‘hottie p’totties’ and just having a good old, laddy time. They’re fun! So both of my ‘Vanilla’ chick friends, wanted to spice things up… in order to *peak* their boyfriends interest.

(NB/ Surely, they should be interested in you anyway…without you having to try.)

And because these particular chick friends of mine are dull…what the girls came up with, was ‘BAKING.’

EH?

Did the world take a turn and get drop kicked to a loony bin somewhere?

This isn’t a F****** Disney Movie!! This is real life. I mean, GOSH, a dude doesn’t get excited about sitting down and having a cheese scone with you! Even Cinderella knew that. She hired a flippin ‘Fairy’ to *whiz* her up a fancy dress, carriage and glass slippers…not a side of carrot cake!

‘Buns in the oven’ SCARE MEN. Hahaha. Like, do they need to GO BACK, to ‘Diva School‘ or something??

It’s beyond me…

So ofcourse I ranted about it on my Insta page, because obviously a guy, does not give a flying ‘hooterella’ about a BUN, as a means of fun!

That guy wants you to tickle his fancy. Y’know…egg on a ‘Twinge.’ Get him feeling steamy. Make him feel like a man.

That’s EXCITING!

He’s gonna chose a blowjob over a scone ALL day, ‘errrday!’ They leave their mates, girlfriends, wives, jobs and children for a blowy, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Bottom line…

DON’T TELL ME THAT I NEED TO BAKE, IN ORDER TO SCORE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS…

I’ve got my own problems…and baking.. ONE, doesn’t need to be added to it. (I already didn’t bake for the kids school last night.) And TWO…it’s shit! Don’t tell me shit. Haha.

Me: ‘I’ve been married 300 times. It’s fine. I’m cool, if I never get married again! You’re vanilla. Vanilla chicks, don’t try and teach FUN. It’s like me trying to teach GEOGRAPHY, when I can’t even find my way out the loo’s in a bar!!!’

Everyone just paused…

(I always do this. Stuff just comes out my mouth, then I have to stop, to see how ‘the rant’ was received. I do it with charm. Y’know… a smile and with everything crossed.)

Then luckily enough, we all just burst into laughter and poured prosecco…

Chicks: ‘Don’t put this on your Insta…’

Me: ‘Okay…’ 😉

I guess, the thing about life and love, is to just BE YOU. We try so hard, don’t we, to be the perfect version of ourselves. OR, the other way around…we don’t try at all, to even nearly project, who we truly are.

Being who you are and not giving a **** about what anyone else thinks, is something that will keep you in good stead, on your way to success. In this day of age, it’s not necessarily the easiest thing is it? We all want to do well. We all want to be adored.

Don’t get lost in the haze….Be you. Be proud of who you truly are. Enjoy and stick by what YOU believe in…

Always…

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Life, Love & Really Bad Habits…

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Hope you’ve had a really wonderful weekend! I had the BEST family time with Ruby & Junior. We lunched at ‘The Clam & Cork’ in Doncaster. (I had the oysters, Ruby had the sea bass. I had to go buy Junior a boiled hot dog from a cart, by watermelons. Lol) We shopped. We loved. We picked out our Style Favourites at Primark. I’m a huge Primark fan So as a family, we couldn’t feel happier, to be sharing our favourite pieces with you.

Primark has hands down’ shown us a lot of love & for that, i’m absolutely grateful for! In my mind there’s no reason for anyone to spend an ENTIRE fortune, in order to LOOK GOOD or most of all FEEL GOOD.

There ain’t no shame in your Primark game!

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In Wunna Land, our expensive buys, are always a ‘treat.‘ I mean we spend a lot on ‘good times’ and great food. Yet, when it comes to fashion, and I LOVE FASHION, I love BEAUTY….we’ve signed up to ‘Primania’ with our hearts full of joy.

I’ve shopped there for years and now it’s time to celebrate it! 

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(I mean, what is life without a knitted rainbow cardy, right!)

Okay, so….

The start of my week has been blissful, up until last night. (We’re only on Tuesday. Haha.) Last night, I decided to balls things up, for myself, which I do quite often. You know when you just don’t prioritize something correctly and you therefore accidentally, let yourself down, because a niggly guilt meanders through your head. A niggly guilt that won’t go away because you temporarily hurt someone. That’s what I did. That’s how I felt. I’m okay now. I’ve got over it look…

Yet, a lesson has been learnt…and I guess, I need to break another bad habit. (This is all really good for me. I’m going through a really CLEANSING time, by accident. Lol.)  I don’t smoke. I won’t drink as much. I’m wearing chakra balancing beads. I’m crying to love songs by JLS.  Next i’ll be doing yoga on my front lawn, in eco friendly workout attire and stroking goats…

I don’t think so… I’m a glamour puss, not a hippie. 😉 I am actually quite spiritual by nature..throw me a pack of Tarot cards and a voodoo doll and i’m sound. 😉

But…

WHY AM I STILL LEARNING LESSONS AT 37!!

Anyway, there’s lots going on. my Insta story is on fire, right now, with views. Work is on it’s way. I’m in limbo. I’m waiting for a something to air on TV. I have loads of shoots. I’m waiting for my time. My moment. I’m loving being a mum. My love life is still rubbish. Well not rubbish. The guy that I went on the Manchester date with, is looking forward to seeing me again. So, that’s sweet.

(All last night, I kept drinking red wine and accidentally crying to JLS songs, because I missed ‘The Swirl.’ Hahaha.) 

I love being a girl.

To be honest, I’ve been quite hormonal of recent. (As you may have guessed?) But i’ve found that as soon as I ‘doll’ myself up, whop in my hoops and get strutting…I’m fine. I’m dandy.

Just getting on with it, is the best way!

I feel like something great is going to happen to me in the love department? Even if it’s not right now…The ending to my story, when it comes to love…feels like it’s going to be amazing. Like Life has been leading me up to something phenomenal. (She glues her ‘rosy tinted specs’ to her face.)

Everything you go through, I believe is for a reason…

I’ve enjoyed by path, as ‘colourful’ as it’s been…I’m ready for a Happy Ending. Surely, I deserve one, in both work and love, for crying out loud!!

I’m committing to everything. I’m throwing myself into everything. You get nothing out of life if you don’t commit to it. 

You’ll never experience the happiness intended for you, if you don’t ‘throw skin to the wind’ and just go for it. Survive the bad. Enjoy the good. Be it big, small or inbetween. Just live. Just love. Just be ALIVE.

In the end, you’ll KNOW why you had to go through it all…

I believe that…

(But I still believe in Santa and Fairies…so don’t take my word for it.)

Right now, I can tell you, that i’m really proud of the kids. Junior has a true heart of gold. He’s insightful and loving..Yet won’t let you push him around, when he feels brave. Ruby is ambitious and dynamic. She’s a tough cookie. She is every inch….well…ME. (I’m kinda feeling really bad for Pete, right now, because Ruby hasn’t wanted to hang out with him over the last couple weeks…)

‘Tell Dad, that I do love him. Everything’s fine. I’d just rather spend my time with you and Junior, mum…’

She’s almost outgrowing him…and she’s only 7.

Pete: ‘Chrissie, it’s depressing me…’

The babies have really got stuck into this whole ‘showbizzy’ malarky, by choice, before you all start……I’m kinda having to rein them in a little and make them concentrate on school…because they have so much going on in October. I can’t keep up!!

But I actually couldn’t be prouder of them.

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Life is good. I’m tired though. I’m looking after myself more. I’m stepping up my game. I’m adoring my beauty regime. I’m wanting to make my mark, now. I’m also wanting to fall in love. I wonder if ‘The Swirl’ ever thinks about me? (I think about you. I think about you a lot.) I wonder if The Manchester Date guy will try to pursue a future with me? (You were so lovely to me. You made me feel lovely.)

I’m concentrating on my career…and like I said, this time LAST YEAR…

I ain’t gonna be dropping no ball, this time…

Watch this space…

Wunna Land, is on it’s way UP!!!

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30 Something Sexiness….

Woke up to the most beautiful message from one of my old LA guy friends ‘Raffi,’ who I adore more than anything, because he’s always filled with Wunna Love. He produces music and when I was a mid 20 something year old girl, in West Hollywood, we recorded a couple tracks together, that his brother had whammed up.

His brother was working with the likes of Britney Spears, N’sync, R.Kelly, Michael Jackson…His grandfather, worked with Elvis. So, let’s just say producing beats runs through his soul. He’s a ‘brother,’ and he’s swag.

But all that to one side…We had the most amazing friendship. We’d hang out all the time. He’d come around to my condo, after being at the studio and we’d just sit in his car, chill and chatter, under the LA night stars. It was great!

When he was a young 20 something he looked at me and said,

‘I’d be so happy, if I woke up to you every morning…But at fifty, you’d probably piss me off. Haha.’ 

Then he drank a Red bull, it gave him wings and he drove over my wheely bins, en route to drop by ‘Neyo’s. (Yeah…the ‘So sick of love songs’ Neyo.)

 Raffi’s always been such a good friend to me. In fact ALL of my LA friends are to this day, SO SO close to me. We tell each other how much we love one another, literally all day long and that’s because growing up…we went through SO, SO MUCH together, in one of the toughest towns emotionally, to try and make it in showbusiness.

This morning, I woke up to an insta DM from ‘Raffi’ after i posted the above picture…All he said was…

‘You are so beautiful.’

So 13 years on, and now on entirely different sides of the world, he is still so utterly lovely and goes out of his way to try and make a glamour puss smile. 🙂

(Thank you for that! I love you so dearly. May the night stars guide you bro.) 

Right. Okay…

I’m still filled with anxiety and panic and I have no clue why, really? I’m getting on with it though. I’m good at that. I’m doing it with a ‘100 watt’ smile and hoping it’s just hormones.

What am I terrified of?

This morning I posted the above pic, because I always thought that growing up a model and one that sold ‘sexiness‘….I always thought that I wouldn’t feel ‘sexy’ when I grew older.

The opposite has happened and at 37, I probably, right now, feel at my SEXIEST. It’s so crazy? I don’t know whether it’s because I’m more comfy in my own skin, or i’m just laid back with my natural ‘Va Voom.’ I’ve got nothing to prove now. I’m cool.

But again, my LA guy friends the other day, were saying that they hung out with me, as a young 20 something year old and back then they thought i was ‘Ooh laa…Ferocia.’

Yet now, almost 20 years on..(they fly in to visit me on occasion,) they’ll just look at me and say,

‘We still cannot believe how beautiful you are. It’s like you’re getting hotter and hotter.’ 

AWWW!!!

How nice is that!!!! Everyone needs to hear it. It’s positive and positive vibes are contagious. I’m so lucky to have such wonderful friends…Real friends. Real ‘life soldiers.’ Hopefully, that will put me in good stead for the future. Hopefully, you’ll take a moment today, at some point, just to tell someone that they’re beautiful.

It makes their day….

Everyone should embrace and adore their beauty. Both inner and out.

But y’know, there’s just something about being older, that FEELS SEXIER, than being young. I find, that, when you’re older your ‘SEXY’ comes from your soul, your life experience. It’s in your eyes. It’s your beauty. Your story.

Everyone has a story, even when you’re young. You just ‘own it‘ better when you’re grown.  When you’re really young, your ‘sexy,’ is still only pinned, glued and stuck on. It’s not real yet. Even in your 20’s, when you think you’re grown.

That’s what i’ve learnt through my 30’s. I’ve also realised that you mellow out, and grown emotionally. You become a wiser human and that alone is SEXY. 

(A young friend of mine sent me a message yesterday, and it put me off them, because… well he used a very young, 20 something year old term, to describe a group of people…in a derogatory fashion. He referred to them as ‘beggy’ and I don’t like that because I think it’s rude. I think it’s judgmental and something that a 30 something would never ever say..Lol. And I guess that’s that’s the difference, between being young and old.)

I’ve learnt so much about people and myself in this last 2 weeks. 

Anyway!!

All sorts has been happening to my friends. I have some finding their ‘bouji,’ and others clinking prosecco glasses. ‘Hustle Barbie’ (who’s Vegan) actually stole a PIG. A REAL PIG from a Butcher, because she didn’t want it to get slaughtered. Shenamed it ‘Elvis’ and it’s now in her house. Lol.

Everyone apparently loves the pig. Yet, I am not a piggy fan. I find their snouts intrusive. Lol. Yet, I admire her love and conquest. She’s filled with utter compassion.

Plus, I adore that she’s going to go out, get drunk, bring back a hot dude, forget she has a pig named ‘Elvis’ and suddenly remember he’s there, when he pops onto her sofa, mid ‘sexy time.’

If a pig came near me during sex, I would DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’d grab my boobies and RUN FOR THE HILLS…NAKED.

I am terrified of animals of the farmyard variety.

TERROR SCREECHES THROUGH MY SOUL.

But on the up, there’s also been new love. My gay friend Liam, (he’s just tinkered off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show on Channel 4.) Anyway, he recently broke up with his beau and has hit the dating scene with his heart on his sleeve and it’s good to see him happy. He called me before his last date, with a beautiful looking man. They met at ‘Velvet’ in Manchester, for the date and he saw him sat outside drinking a latte.

Me: ‘A latte!!!! On a date!!!!’

Liam: ‘I didn’t want it to be a slaggy date. We’ve  spoken loads & really like him. It’s a non drinking date.’

(I don’t do ‘non drinking’ dates. 🙂 I get so nervous. I need to drink.)

He called me before his date because he was a little nervous. But dates are kinda like that, aren’t they?

Liam: ‘I’ve dressed really casual. is that okay??’

I’m glad, that I was his ‘make me not nervous‘ call. I’m good in those moments.

But they had the most beautiful time. I actually saw a picture of his date, whilst on the train to MY OWN date in Manchester. He was ‘sizzle.’ Really handsome. Really well groomed.  They loved their time together. It was all chatter and leg strokes. Cuddles over calamari. It was a classy afternoon date. But then they had to rush off home, because ‘twinges’ and testosterone kept kicking in…If the date went on any longer….the pleasantries would’ve been X Rated.

I always think that chicks sometimes get offended when a guy wants to ‘sex you up’ on the first date. Yet, you shouldn’t. (I know, it makes you think that they only want sex.) Yet DO KNOW, that they can’t help it. If they fancy you, the WANT, WANT, WANT you. It’s how they’re wired and they don’t mean it offensively. Their willy pops up and that’s it. They go ‘boz eyed’ and need to ‘jab for goals.’

So you can IMAGINE, what it must be like if you’re two GUYS on a date…and you fancy one another!

Hahaha….

‘I’ll have that latte to GO, Bitch.’ 

 

 

 

 

Will you still love me….

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I had such a ‘drama’ Monday, after the most blissful & peaceful weekend of ‘family.’ I’ve got so much going on, that i’m filling myself with a delicious flourish of stress. It’s kinda topped up with that beautiful thing we call ‘anxiety,’ simply because i’m terrified. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me? So, i’m gonna go with hormones?

I’m back on the telly shortly…That’s worrying me. I’ve got a lot to organise with the kids…That’s worrying me. I have shoots galore and auditions coming out my ‘hooty..’ That’s worrying me. My love life is *whizzing* around me, almost madly…I don’t even know what’s going on? Yes. I get a lot of attention. Yes, I’m single.

However, I’m noticing that, if I ever begin to feel for anyone, I get stressed out, because giant *CAUTION* signs go up everywhere. I’ve always had a shit love life. So, it’s scary. Plus,  I’m absolutely emotional, so to me, it only means ‘danger.‘ I do not ever want to get my heartbroken again….EVER. I tread carefully. (Well…fuck that. I ‘stiletto.’)

I have travels and schedules and places to influence…Everything’s a juggle…Sometimes, I panic and I can’t even breathe. (Cue: Drama 😉 )

But the weird thing is, i’m HAPPY. I’m really happy and maybe being so happy, or so lucky, makes me worry because LET ME TELL YOU, my life hasn’t been so easy….Haha. It’s laughable.

Basically, I’m scared of everything right now, because i’m having to pinch myself…and I need to ‘Man up,’ count my blessings and get on with it, with panache.

Anyway…

At the weekend, I did Meadowhall with The Wunna’s and Ruby. (Junior was at his Dads.) We were pretty much treated like Meadowhall shopping royalty (and I thank you for that, because I don’t even know why?) It did feel wonderful though.

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We shopped and stopped at Wagamama’s. Then after cocktail refuels, toy stores, makeup counters, new hair (we all need those extra few inches,) and my brand new chakra beads…Life felt almost perfect.

Ruby: ‘Mum. You’re chakra beads are not working. You’re CRAZY. You’re still nuts. They don’t work.’

(She is right, though. Even though I told her to ‘shush.‘ At this rate, i’m gonna need to see Buddha and get blessed by monks, or something! Maybe i’m just not meant for ‘Total Enlightenment.’ Maybe, i’m meant to live this ridiculous life of pathetic glory, for your entertainment… Haha.)

I’m starting to believe that…

‘Hey Destiny…You’ve fucked me over. You’re off the Christmas card list! You’re chilling on the naughty list, with Cupid and a few Pretty Boy exes from 2004.’

This is how I feel right now…

Like I’ve drank 42 energy drinks, had a bottle of rum, taken all my clothes off, and then thrown MYSELF to the lions.

Then…because i’m not at all mental….

…I lost the car…I always lose the car…Oh! Wait!! I don’t mean?Ugh. I’m rambling. I didn’t REALLY lose the car! I kinda ‘misplaced’ it? Y’know, when you can’t quite remember where you left it? 🙂 My Mum, drove home, because obviously, I guzzled Aperol Spritzies…after The Disney Store.

Fair enough, there was lots of wine, brunches and fun over the weekend. I checked in with my friends…briefly. Got on top of work. Then just relaxed with the kids. However….one of my favourite moments of the weekend, was the ‘school mum..’ catch up…

(There was a kids birthday party over the weekend…)

Miss.Murphy: ‘What are you wearing!?! Lol. Who wears glitter shoes to a kids party..?? Haha.’

Me: ‘Shut up. Lol. These are my driving shoes.’

Sam: ‘Does Ruby want Pizza?’

Me: ‘It’s like the Real Housewives of Yorkshire…’

Mum: ‘I got asked to be on Real Housewives of Marbella, a while ago, but I said no…I’m too boring, for it!’

Me: ‘You said NO! As if you said NO!! I can’t believe you said no. I would’ve moved to Marbella, to have done it. Haha.’

( I live for that show…It calms me, when I’m stressed. Yet, so does the occasional Jeremy Kyle episode…? So, yeah…I’m mental. Ignore me.)

Other Mum: ‘Oh yeah. I’m gonna be flying away with him.’

Miss. Murphy: ‘You’re actually going now! What about…?’

Other Mum: ‘Oh…he doesn’t know..’

Miss.Murphy: ‘You said he was fat and bald…But he’s not at all?’

Me: ‘How have I sat here for an hour and not known it’s your birthday today!!’ 

Miss. Murphy: ‘So, are you seeing your date again?’

I never thought i’d be a traditional ‘school mum.’ Yet, there’s just something about this group of Mamas, that is filled with the ‘sexy.’ They’re actually not traditional, school mums, in rain macs. They’re alive. They’re fun. They have designer shoes that read ‘LOVE.’ Louis Vuitton handbags and possible stables…’

They’re, what I call ‘Prosecco Mums,’ and I love them, madly. I’m like the tragic misfit of the bunch. The single, no husband, disorganized one, with a suggestive Insta profile…

We’re all really different from one another. Yet, w’re all great women. Confident women. Great mothers and well, I just really enjoy they’re company.

Then all our kids ruined everything and shoved tall plastic, slush palm trees, in our faces… 

At that point, the gossip got censored…

My inbox is * pinging,* almost every minute, with people asking me about my love life and my last date etc…

All I can tell you is that, the guy that I did the Manchester Airport date with, was wonderful. He says he wants to see me again, and I definitely will. I found him really sexy and confident. He’s smart and thoughtful. I liked him. I’find him interesting…I want to know lots about him…I’ll definitely be meeting him again. (I’m only one ‘meeting’ in. So it’s all ‘early doors.’)

I’m just treading carefully…Like I said, I’m not bothered about getting my heart broken, right now, when I have so much going on…

I eventually want to fall in love. I’m a true romantic. I want to be swept off my feet. Adored. Respected. And y’know, in that one meet up, my date was that! He was a REAL MAN, which made me notice that I’d not only been looking in the wrong place for love, but i’d wasted a lot of my time, on ‘little boys.’  At 37 years old, I don’t need to be doing that!

When it comes to love…

…this time..because obviously i’ve been married three times and had numerous flings and relationships..I want to PROPERLY fall in love. I want it to be stable and forever…with no stress. No drama.

And I do want to just say, that even though on paper, i’ve dated, romanced, flinged, loved, married, divorced, sexed..and well…just all sorts, with men, all over the world.

DO KNOW THAT….

… I never did all that because I was a floozy. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions about me. I’m a love bunny. There were options. I was young. A glamour model. Off the telly…Growing up in Hollywood…All sorts.

Yet, I never was and still not a man eater. I’m non judgemental. I’m modern. Yet when it comes to love, I’m quite ‘fairytale.’ I’m quite traditional…I’m a hopeless romantic, with a capital ‘H.’

I’m tragic…

So, every single time, I went into these encounters, with men, boys, gents, or misfits..

I always hoped (like any girl or woman,) that they would love me forever.

It just didn’t and still hasn’t quite worked out that way….

It’s actually only when I suddenly realise, that they guy i’ve been chatting to, or dating, only see’s me as  a ‘bed notch’ or someone they daren’t date… It was only THEN…at that point, when I HAVE to  file the encounter under ‘casual,‘ and ‘take it on the chin,’ without being embarrassed.

So i’m accidentally, a sassy, sexy, modern day woman.

The ‘Brand’ goes alongside that….and that’s fine with me, as it makes me very ‘now.’ It gives me the necessary ‘street cred.’ I’m swag. I’m cool…I’m…Blah, blah….

You get it…

Y’see, when it comes to WORK, I am that. I’m fire. I’m determined. I’m ambitious. I’m a glamourous, kitty DIVA, sprayed over, in solid steel, showers of glitter. Champagne pops around me and naughty winks, fill my walk way…

When it comes to love…I’m the opposite.

I’m not someone who really wants random casual sex. I love sex. But i don’t play a numbers game. I want to feeel a connection.

Plus, If i’m honest, I can have sex with anyone… I have an inbox full of offers…almost every few minutes.

That doesn’t make me feel mighty. It’s flattering. I appreciate the ‘adoration..’ Of course I do….

If anything it stresses me out, because I think, ‘how the hell can I have so much attention and not find Mr.Right. That ONE MAN, who will truly love and treasure me forever?’

I’m ready to fall in love…

I’m just scared to….

It makes me anxious…

Anyway…

Away from all that…Sunday morning was great because before Meadowhall, I got to chatter to Lil’ Sam Reece. I shouldn’t call him ‘Lil’ as he’s pretty grown. He’s a good guy.  I’ve referred to him as ‘Tats’ on this blog before.

I like waking up on a Sunday morning to a Reecy phone ‘ping.’ We’ll just have brief morning banter. ..then get on with life. We chatter in ‘spits & spots’ a lot. We both always have really shit love lives…We’re both ‘Yorkshire.’ We actually get on well. It’s easy. We wired the same way. We have the same banter.. This Sunday we talked ‘car bonnets/hotels and flat caps.’ 

I was actually gonna meet him for drinks..But I ended up doing Meadowhall instead and he ended up doing boy drinks…

But he’s a good guy. So I have a lot of respect for our Sam. He’s a good buddy…I’d see Sam as the kinda guy, i’d go for a drink with and kiss in the elevator when no one was looking. Haha!

(That hasn’t happened, by the way, before you all get excited. But i’d definitely kiss him in an elevator…It’d be a waste of ‘sexy’ people, if not. I don’t like to waste sexy people. You only live once.)

Right! I’m off!

Have a fantastic Tuesday!!

I love you.

Chrissie x

ps/ I’m about to step up my game…So strap in!

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Courage, Va Voom & New Dates…

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Me: ‘Just help me hate him…..’

(I’d screenshot a pic of a dude..Oh fuck it…’The Swirl’ and drawn a tacky, free hand, red love heart around his head, lol  and sent it to her…my bestie…via Snapchat. Haha. Now, I am very aware, that i’ve just made myself sound moderately creepy. Yet, I do it all the time, for kicks. It’s jokes and funny, so shut the **** UP. 🙂 Only she would understand! 😉 Not you!!! J )

Firmonnell: ‘That’s easy. He ignored your last two messages. Fuck him. He’s so selfish. He only cares about himself. He doesn’t love anyone, BUT himself. I love you. Now, get yourself to Liverpool and have the most amazing time on your ‘date’ thing.’

And just like that, as she waved the flag for all things love, friendship, truth and ‘Girl Code,’ my self respect and kitty power *whooshed* straight back through my system. I grew 10 feet tall, slipped on a spikey set of heels and got to life, with a much more stable strut of ‘sass.’

Everyone needs a friendship like ours.

I love her so madly. No one can deliver the truth to me, better than Firmonnell.

Sometimes, you just need to hear something, don’t you? Even if your ears don’t like it…We girls kinda sell ourselves short all the time, don’t we? I’ve done it for years, when it’s come to men. I’m 37 years old and still learning…Lol. Know, that you’re not alone and know that you fucking need to KICK THE HABIT!!

Chicks R’us!

(I’m not meaning t be sexist. I’m only speaking for the girls, simply because I have no clue what it’s like being a guy and I am someone who believes we’re wired completely differently.)

Right, i’ve just shopped. I’ve just had a skype meeting in regards to work. I bumped into @kateslice28 at the Jeff Banks store, via my shopping totter…

Kateslice28: ‘She wants a job here…’

Dapper dude: ‘Oh! Well..hand your CV in to…’

Kateslice28: ‘She doesn’t really want a job here…’

Me: ‘Haha. My CV’s just a series of Insta pics. Here! Watch me do this…! Now, watch me do that!’

Then I left and bought Kylie Jenner nail polish, in the sale.

My life rocks.

I’m errand running today because I leave for Liverpool tomorrow, just for a night. I have my ‘friendly, meet up’ as I’m calling it, because I just don’t like the word ‘date’ anymore. It scares me and makes me feel awkward…and scares me…and makes me feel all awkward Lol.

Kateslice28: ‘I really don’t mean to make you feel more terrified than you already are! Haha. Sorry! But it’s the truth. It’s always awkward, at first. Just go. Have some fun!’

SHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

It’s going to be a breeze. It’s an easy going ‘meet up’ for drinks, because ‘The Gent’ in question, will be shimming straight from work…and that’s better…as it helps take your mind off stuff, doesn’t it…? Plus, I will have had wine. So ofcourse, on the whole… that makes it much easy for ME!

I need a cocktail now.

I’m fuelled by fruity umbrella drinks. My bodies running out of whip.

Yet, yes. There’s nothing to be terrified of. He’s been nothing short of lovely, to me, so far.

Savannah B: ‘He still has time to stand you up.’

Me: ‘Haha. Get lost. He’s already done the *really excited* message. Saying that…I don’t actually know where i’m headed yet?’

I’m lucky. Life is good. My Insta Story is smashing views right now and i’m kinda loving that, because it makes me pull out ‘all the entertainment’ because i’m a show off.

LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeEE………….!

Everyone’s asking me about the ‘got my initials tattoed on him’ guy….He HAS given me a dare. Can’t remember if I told you, on the blog, or not? But I’ll be filling you in on all that… at the end of the week, I reckon? I kinda need to get Liverpool, work and babies out the way first. I’m excited to tell you everything, but right now I’m prioritising well…and getting my little life, jiggle on.

I will say that TODAY, I am on, DAY 18 of 21, of my ‘Breaking a bad habit’ ting. I can’t believe i’ve done 18 days. I can’t believe that I haven’t AT ALL relapsed and I can’t believe that i’ve suffered ever single withdrawal symptom and still just got on with being a champion, with a hair toss and a smile. (I’m not even as pathetic as I thought. Wait. I never thought I was pathetic. I wouldn’t have done it, if I knew I wasn’t flourishing with will power.)

Anyway…

They say it takes 21 days to break any habit. Once i’m at day 23, i’ll know that i’ve actually done it!

I will be rewarding myself greatly!!!

(I love how everyone thought it was drinking….I received so many messages about it. But yes, it’s not. Everyone needs a vice, and  a ‘tipple’ is certainly mine.)

Aww! I forgot to tell you..

‘Tats’ (do you remember me talking about him in a previous blog? If not, ‘search’ him.) Anyway, he sent me a message on Saturday night. Well, no..it was early Sunday morning and just read…

‘Hey..’

He does that all the time, as he searches for…well….Anyway….

I like ‘Tats,’ I always have and I think he’s sweet. Yet he only messages me now, during the ‘early hours’ and we all know what that means…and although it’s  flattering…if you don’t do things the proper way…I guess, after everything i’ve learnt or been through along the way, in life…I just can’t take it seriously, until they do?

I’m worth more than that…

(I know, you’re not reading this…but I wish you were…)

Things are really exciting for me, right now. I don’t know where my story ends? I just know that every single piece of it, seems to be worth it. I kinda look around me every single day, hoping for the best…yet expecting nothing without the art of hard work, or ‘magic.’

I know that dreams come true. I certainly don’t know how? Is it hard work? Is it fate? Who knows?? YET, what i’m sure of, when it comes to this little thing called ‘life,’ is that we’re all kinda in this together….be you in flats, heels or barefooted.

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

Tats, Dates & What I Fancy…..?

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Hiya!!! We’ve made it to FRIDAY!

FRINALLY, Baby!!!

(As my five year old son, Junior..would say. 😉 ) 

Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)

It is THE WEEKEND!! (Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…

is a SIN!!

I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!

Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*

I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. 😉 A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.

That is my business…LIFE.

(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.) 

There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!

I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!

‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’

‘Wow, you parked like shit…’

Anyway!!!

Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…

Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.

YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.

Being ME

And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.

Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.

Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.

Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!

Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’

Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!

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So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.) 

I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! 🙂 Junior said…

‘Why is he nuts?’ 🙂

Haha…

But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.

He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’

Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’ 

Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many,  not grown yet…..boys…’

Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love you  guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’

Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’

Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’

And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.

Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.

I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. 😉 Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…

(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. 🙂 ) 

But whatever…

Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.

‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)

All good! Roll on Tuesday.

I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!

Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…

It’s like…

Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!

Chrissie x

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