I’ve Got My Va Voom Back!

I’m passed the feeling of shitting myself and now i’m utterly EXCITED for my Friday! I had an evening that kinda made me feel really confident about myself…and when a girl feels that way, she glows, she radiates….I know i’m currently radiating because my world right now is filled with inboxes messages from exes, or previous husbands, or new guys with gusto and my strut is currently *paused* every few minutes by a stranger or an old friend giving me the wink. It’s not about the inbox fill up, or playful winks from strangers…as i’m ignoring them all politely. (I’m rubbish like that.) It’s all about the ‘GLOW.’ It’s the GLOW that we chicks get when we feel confident in our strut. I want all girls to feel it, every moment of every day. It makes us attractive. It’s sexy, because that glow radiates makes us super POWERFUL and no matter what ages, shape or size you are, nothing is sassier than that whoosh of of ‘ooh laa.’ (Boys will honestly be tripping over their willies as they pass you by.) Oh and FYI/ NOTHING IS BETTER than exes messaging you, who you now care nothing for, when you have that ‘whoosh’ of ‘ooh laa.’ I’ve looked at the message, said nothing and beamed with my ‘Cya, don’t wanna be ya dance.’ If a guy wanted you that badly, he would’ve made the effort to keep you and HEY, maybe not chosen another girl over you! Lol. I AM GLOWING.

Anyway, yesterday was great because yesterday was the day that my guy friend David (who’s currently auditioning for Celeb Hotels) decided to obtain a mattress from a granny, shove it in his boot and simply for banter because ‘Firmonnell’ told him to, place it on the top of ‘Fairytales’ car (her cream mini) and snapchat it to everyone.

Firmonnell: ‘I don’t know why it’s so funny. But it is!’

IT WAS HILARIOUS! This is how i know i have ace friends. Nothing is better than childish pranks. I actually thought that he’d only plonked the dirty mattress on her car for snapchat picture taking purposes….But no…it sat there ALL DAY.

Hustle Barbie: ‘Fairytale…Why have you got a giant dirty mattress on the roof of your car? ‘

Fairytale: ‘It’s still fucking there!!!!!’

Me: HHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I’m feeling cheeky today! I feel like i want to prank the world and just deal with the consequences afterward! Lol You’ve got to love a laugh. You’ve got to love a bit of banter. And it’s the simpliest things that crack me up.

Last night, after the babies had tinkered to sleep and my mum had come round to cuddle them…I had a bit of work to take care of, for my weekend. I’m excited for my Friday now. I was meant to blog, but instead, i walked down to ‘Ego’ for a quick white wine. I needed a chill, a nightcap and well i’m not really going to be able to have a drink tonight…as i’m sure i’ll be rushing about headlessly. (I’m also excited because i’m about to embark on what feels like a whole bunch OF TIME off work….which means i can fit ‘good times’ in and refuel.)

But anyway, I went to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth. I go all the time. I love it there. I love the staff there. It’s a good place to find me. I always go on my own for a chill and just sit at the bar by myself. Lol.

So, I obviously opened my last blog with Josh (the ‘Ego’ Bartender) who’s great! We chat well. And I love a bit of banter with him. Infact all the staff there are literally ace. It’s a good time. (I’m currently writing this topless and forgot I was topless…need to grab a bra. I don’t want spaniel ears for boobies!) Bottom line, I didn’t reckon he’d read the blog, or anyone he knew would…so he’d never find out that I wrote about him. Right? First thing he mentioned when i walked in was the fact that he featured on the blog! LOL. But he was happy about it. So it was all good. Made me smile. I mean, nothing is worse to me, when i write about someone and they hate that i’ve written about them. It makes me feel uncomfy. Plus, people should love a Wunna Land feature! Hahaha. What better place to have your name splattered all over the internet than here! 🙂 It’s a written word reality show. You CAN in real life, go to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth and find Josh the Bartender. You can all be a part of Wunna Land. My kingdom, not yours! 🙂

Anyway, it was great. I had a wine. I chatted to the staff as they tinkered by me. Some guy in a pink shirt stroked my arm and gave me the last part of his larger, whilst calling me ‘baby.’ I love being called ‘Baby.’ I call people ‘Baby’ when i love them. Didn’t love him. And didn’t really want the spit part of his drink. Yet, I thanked him anyway. (I’m good like that.)

‘Was he gay or straight? I couldn’t figure it out?’

Then randomly my old school friend Nathan, who was on a boys night with his teacher friend, who used to my football for Leeds or something found me at the bar and made me a part of their lads night. Nathan was 3 years below me at school and it’s always ace to bump into him.

‘Am I ruining boys night?’

‘No. You’re making it much better! We need to do this again. Lol’

We chatted school, fishing, Vegas, football, tits, dresses, tv appearances, LA and life.

‘Who can we force to get married, so we can go on a stag do to Vegas?’

I tried to force him to teach me how to fish. He tried to force me to go drinking with him. Josh wanted to live in a log cabin for a bit. And his footballer/teacher friend took off his wedding ring! Hahaha!

Boy banter is always better than girl banter.

Shit! its 7.30am! I need to get ready and GO!

 

 

 

 

 

It’s All About Life Magic & Vino

Rinalidi’s in Wakefield was great on Tuesday evening. Kinda feels like it was a million glitter years ago now, as life has swirled into a glorious, yet easy going ‘busy’ mode So much has happened. I’ve pretty much flittered all over the merry land this week, armed with winks, heels and charm. Let’s just say, I received the best ‘good news’ any little kitten could ever receive. The kinda news that fills your entire soul with a magical unexpected *gush* of happiness, a flow of exuberant glee. It shocked me, but meant so much to me because it pretty much made me cry. I trickled little happy tears and because it felt like a dream come true.

I feel really lucky right now and i’m lucky by nature, that’s for sure, yet right now I’m REALLY lucky and have no clue why? So whenever you hear people tell you (including myself) that things in work and love and anything in between is all only down to hard work, know that it’s not true. There is ALWAYS something more that is completely out of control that swirls through the air around you like magic and it’s that ‘ooh laa’ that is far more powerful that any kind of hard work you put in. (But do put in the work. Otherwise…well you’re foolish.)

But yes Tuesday at Rinaldi’s was great. The food there is actually delicious. Better than I thought it would be? The service was divine…even though everyone kept looking at me oddly whenever I scanned the room.It was almost like they had a private joke that I wasn’t in on. Lol. But again…it was great. I sipped a whisky sour, as I chatted about life, added wine to the order and delighted in my cabonara. Time zoomed by and before you know it, it was Wednesday and it was work time.

Everything’s busy. All’s a bustle. But i’m making time for all the things that matter to me now. I’m really balanced and i’m in control of the tinkering. I’m feeling WONDERFUL. Everything feels WONDERFUL. I never thought that I could feel this special. (And not in a weird ‘special’ kind of way. 🙂 ) However, I was shattered throughout Wednesday, as I just wanted my work day to be over. When I’m tired, i’m quiet. When I’m quiet…everyone thinks something is wrong. Lol. But it’s certainly not. It couldn’t be FAR from the truth.

On Thursday I headed down to London from Doncaster for a day of filming. I was so glamourous that all the way down. I literally smashed my head against the window continuously for an hour straight as I train napped with my mouth open. Lol. I love a good train sleep. When you’re travelling on your own for work, things are always boring. At least i got there in one piece…and ear wigged into other people’s conversations. (Some 17 year old girl who was very ‘Made in Chelsea’ was chittering to another posh boy about how her Daddy had just given her £10,000 for doing well at school. His Dad had also apparently given hi £10,000 also. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, then returned to my kitten nap.)

Ooh! Sorry. I’ve just reading my Whatsapp messages…Hang on…

But yes, filmed all day on Thursday. Really fantastic. Ofcourse i’m not going to tell you anything about it. Nothing whatsoever. 🙂 However, do know that I loved my time there and again, I can’t believe how much I seem to just be LIVING right now. Snippets of my life are currently so different and so surreal that when you piece them together, it’s almost unbelievable.

I guess, last year I dropped the jigsaw and this year I not only found all the pieces but I picked them up and pieced them back together  perfectly, yet with my fingers crossed and without a clue. Then that ‘life magic’ came in and gusted over it with love….and from that point onwards…THIS point onwards, as ofcourse I had a dodgy start 😉 I ALWAYS have a dodgy start I do them well……It  has been a dream. (I don’t even know what my chicks friends are thinking of it all? We haven’t really spoken about it too much. They’re just witnessing the change. I think we’re all just in shock. I’m in shock.)

‘You’re actually going to do this Wunna…’

Hang on…more Whatsapp messages….

Friday was a day of work and GOSH i was shattered  did that quiet thing again, but my heart was filled with love. I am BUZZING right now and i wish you could feel it. As soon as my phone *pings* my eyes shoot down to it and I beam. Things are great!

I’ve been in Doncaster all weekend with the babies. I’ve spent loads of time with them of recent and again it’s been wonderful. I mean GOD, this is the time where all those moments when i’ve had to miss the little things due to work commitment and money making, has finally made it worth it.  Love matters to me more than anything in the world. I write about it daily. And it’s funny because when you focus of love, be it around family, work or something more personal…something romantic, you have our priorities correct because it fills you with a cray BUZZ that is undeniably powerful and when you feel that way, you can conquer anything, you vibrate on a good energy…..I have that right no, that’s why i’m lucky.

But anyway, Doncaster for the weekend. My home town. I’ve been chatting to Shaun, who owns Prosecco Pit Stop. One of my favourite refuel stations. Lol. The kids even love it. They couldn’t be lovelier to me at Prosecco Pit Stop. Infact i think I owe them Prosecco money? Lol. Shaun is opening a new bar at Victoria Gate Leeds, where Issho and East 59th Bar currently reside and I cannot WAIT. I’m gonna champion that place like it’s home. I sat with him and chatted about business, the bar, PR and all sorts before I jumped on my 12.17 train to London. I’m very excited about his bar because he’s very excited about it. Excitement is contagious. I love it when people are passionate and moving forward with the things that the love. I hate it when people are pretentiously happy. We’re northern that’s not how we roll. It’s man to man, heart to heart.

OOh? I’ve just got a message from Jen in Paris..

‘Hi Christina! It was great to meet you in London. I have your clutch that you left in the room. It looks like it has some items you may need, including your drivers license… Give me your address so I can send everything back to you!’

Hahah. I’m such a shit. I love organised people.

Anyway, other than time with the babies, all weekend the best Whatsapp messages, lunch at Zest n Doncaster (I go with Ruby and Junior because they love the ‘press the alert’ button.) Afterwards we chilled it at Ego in Ackworth, (I go there all the time) and as always the service was completely AMAZING. They totally had an Arts & Craft bonanza table on Saturday afternoon and the babies LOVED IT. I mean, when staff sit with your bambinos and glue pigs to glitter boards, whilst you watch on and sip gin before the big ‘Mum can we go outside and run around…’ you know you’re in the best place ever.

I love a bit of Ego. You all know that though. I literally tinker across there always. Go there and you’ll find me with my salted rimmed margarita.

Anyway, I need to finish this wine and head off. I’m currently blogging from The Mallard in Doncaster, in the Frenchgate Centre.

Staff: ‘You haven’t been in here in ages.’

Me: ‘I was here yesterday? I was here in the morning dong wine before London trains on Thursday!’

Life is good and what I learnt over the last few days is that you really can have faith in people and they really will follow through upon the journey where their heart takes them. Some people will talk the talk and others will display the notion that Actions always speak louder than words.

I love you,

Chrissie

ps. Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Crazy Little Thing Called Happiness

If I could teach anyone anything about life right now, as I wink in at the mild age of thirty six… it really would be, to just always remember to only do the things that you love. Life is so glitzy and so short. It runs out in a blink. There will be a moment where in with you have a minute left and in that minute you will be helpless. That’s why we have this whole juicy life right here for us now and it is SO important that you don’t take the things that don’t really matter seriously and that you prioritize correctly. Enjoy it! Pop open the bubbles to it!

I sat in a room yesterday, full of glamourous girls. I love these girls! But I looked around that room and every single human in there was miserable. Not one person in that room wanted to be there and every single person in that room hoped for better times or could think of something else or somewhere else they’d rather be. We all get days like that and days like that are fine. We all pull faces and delight in a moan. Yet do note that only ‘Days’ like that are fine and a lifetime of such is quite seemingly dodgy! 😉

It made me think.

I’ve done a lot in my life and i’ve achieved a lot. I feel good about that. I’ve had my dream job and worked all over the world. My love life has always been shit. Great times. But not necessary paper perfect.  Yet, I guess that came with whatever time my career threw at me and i must’ve have been more insecure than I thought when I was younger also. That’s always hilarious. Yet, i’m older now and wiser. I’m confident. I’m beaming. To me love is everything…and i’ll get it right in the end. (Can you applause when I do!) If I’m honest, I get everything that I care about right…in the end. Lol

But yes, I looked around the room and not one pretty face was smiling….that’s how I knew that no one in that room was doing anything that they loved. It wound me up, because i’m an advocate for life, loving everything until it bubbles and just enjoying people, positive energy and the world. I’m not sure if it’s important to be grateful for what we have or to really go for what you wish for?

So I’m gonna go with this….Remember to only do the things that you adore. The rest will work itself out. When you do the things that you love, magic happens because you’re at your most powerful…because you’re no longer living in fear or doubt. You’re happy. Go for it. Why not? I’ll pour you a rum!

Anyway, away from the preach festival. *Hair toss…Pout* . I have the busiest weekend ahead of me. I’ve had to reschedule a lot, mainly because I over booked and well being a single my of my two ‘adorables’ isn’t easy at times. I have a lot of help and i’m so grateful for it. But still, now that i’m older and even though i’ve had success…I look back and remember all the times I didn’t make a ‘Sports Day’ or I couldn’t get to that ‘school show’ for Ruby. But I didn’t have an option. That makes me feel shit. At the time i was running on determination to succeed….there was just me and I had the babies….now that i’m in a good place….I’m trying to make it all right again. Don’t get me wrong, the babies and I are really close….it’s my own head that tinkers and then retinkers.

But yes, this weekend, I have baby graduations, then I have to hop onto a train to London to go meet by LA bestie Theo for afternoon fun and an 8pm dinner at Cafe Monico on Shaftsbury Avenue. Drinks will occur and i will be blogging and snapchatting my whereabouts. Then i’ll be home….I have pet caterpillars arriving..and i think i have a Liverpool stint if i fancied it, but i’ll probably just end up in Leeds for lunch, as I need to stop off at the Mercedes dealership.

The following week I have Manchester, good times and cocktails. Followed by the VIP Piccolino party in Sheffield and then the divine new sushi bar Issho in Leeds, I guess for the weekend.

All of this whilst blogging, working and being mum.

The idea is that I don’t stress out and just take it in my glamourous stride. I haven’t done anything about not getting stressed. I need to book a massage but keep forgetting. Instead, I threw one of my legs up on my bedroom window sill and did these weird pilates stretches…TOPLESS. 😉 You can get away with that when you’re an oldie. I couldn’t be arsed finding a bra.

I’m not sure it relieved much stress. But I certainly had a blast. Well I think I did? No Infact I might have put my back out? I may have broken bones. I mean GOD, If i’m going to end up married to a Toy boy one day I better get in shape. 🙂 Topless Pilates is surely a great way to destress?

But whatever…my boobs look good today! Do yours?

Have a good…Wait? What day is it?

 

 

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!

 

 

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

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It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.

 

 

Just because i’m chilling…..

This weekend is utter BLISS! I am on ‘CHILLS! And after what has felt like such a busy time…nothing has felt more DIVINE that this entire weekend of just doing NOTHING AT ALL.

BLISS!

I shocked myself up at six o clock on Friday morning. Literally jumped upright, with my kitty sheets wrapped around me because for some reason I thought I was late for work! That moment when I suddenly realised that I had nothing on, nothing scheduled, no work, no train to catch, no meeting to get to, no quick change and drive off, no city to romance, no worries, no stress….It was the most liberating feeling I had ever had!

I felt FREEEEEEEEE! An entire uplifting whoosh of glee glistened from the tip of my usually stilettoed toes…all the way up through my system and just beamed out of me like magic.

It’s THAT feeling that we all try to capture in life. It’ll spring up upon us, in glorious little ‘flitters‘ and those little ‘flitters’ be it in work OR love, we treasure so preciously, as they don’t jiggle are way as often as we’d like. But do know that these ‘flitters’ are special (I know they are) because no matter how busy, stressed, or how much of a bad time you’ve think you’ve had…hours, days, weeks, months of it….It only takes one tiny moment of a ‘flitter’ (you’ve snagged your dream job, you’re getting the rest that you needed, you got that ‘good news’ phone call, the girl or guy that you love, has told you that they love you back) to make you utterly BEAM and it’s when we BEAM when we are at our most POWERFUL. And that is the moment when we can conquer the entire world.

I’ve chilled. I’m still chilling. I’ve done schools runs. I’ve enjoyed quiet prosecco pours.I’ve had time with the babies..Junior did his first school ‘Taster Day’…Ruby and I have laid together in fields and talked life..

‘But what do I do when i’m older mum..like for a job?’

‘You do what you love…I’ve worked really hard and i’m working really hard, so you can actually do what you LOVE.’

‘Be a sexy lady like you?’

‘No.’

‘I’ll just sell ice creams then.’

‘Okay, good call.’

Then we just carried on doing life, as we laid back on the grassy field, in the middle of nowhere, one light evening and watched the clouds morph into… well she kept saying ‘witch’ but it definitely looked like a penis.

Yesterday evening, I messaged ‘Firmonnell.’ I always message ‘Firmonnel.’ She one of my closest chick besties and we can’t stop being absolute wankers to each other, because we find our banter far too funny. I keep signing her up to Wunna Land future jobs, because she’s just too good at listening to me spew out glittery all sorts and then organizing it all. I’m good at organizing OTHER PEOPLE. But i’m shit at organizing myself. I hate the ‘little bits.’ I just like it done for me. Lol. I tell ‘Firmonnell’ all my secrets and then help her out by not coming to her rescue and telling her that ‘I’d rather die or stroke dogs for 94 hours’ than ACTUALLY help her. 🙂  (I’m not good around dogs. I don’t dislike them. I just….dislike them lol…They seem so needy and I always have to pretend I really like them when they’re near me. Lol. I’m a kitten kinda girl. So yeah, dogs and farmyard animals…are not my favourite. I like humans.)

Anyway, i’m pampering, I’ve tanned, i’ve booked a massage, I’m being mum, I’ve sent great messages, to a great guy 🙂 …..It’s weird how a great guy can just pop up out of nowhere and without you even knowing *BOOM* you’re hooked…Other than that, i’m honestly really just chilling.

I have a really exciting JULY. I’m working with some great brands, doing some wonderful things. I’ll be travelling a lot and enjoying many a cocktail with you. The blog will become alive in July… that is why this chill weekend is so important.

Some of the stuff I have coming up…I’ll be at the British Style Collective. I have a press pass to the event and I’ll be situated at the Lambrini Bubbles bar having visits from famous faces, normal happy faces, all faces…and YOU! I have access all areas and whoever I meet will end up on this blog! So come have a ‘Brini’ with me.  I’ll be telling to the shows gossip via all my social platforms.

I’m filming….I Have a really great shoot. I meet Jack Parsons again on the 4th. I am booked out on the 2nd for a Podcast interview for a show in Chicago. There is a swirl of amazing new cocktail bars, that I have been booked out to visit. I’ll be headed to every GINO’s VIP launch night, as he opens each of his own restaurants. I’m also writing a book. Well putting one together, as it’s already written.

In August I’ll be flying away for a few days. And I will also be visiting some of your favourite football clubs and meeting a few of your favoruite footy stars…where they will be forced into playing a cheeky ‘Wunna Land’ game for all of you to view online. 🙂 Do know that the games are called ‘Cougar Rollie Pollies/ Spit or Swallow & The Referee’s a Wanker.’ I’m sure they’re very excited. NOT! Lol

The diet’s going averagely well. I started out great and well now i just keep eating all sorts. Lol. Same with the rest of the girls. They ALL snapchatted me the pizza that they were having for tea. Curves are in! Fuck it. We’re hot. We’re not slaves to a diet regime. (Code for ‘We’re weak.’) But whatever, I look alright for a thirty six year old, mum of two. I’m like an ageing Pussycat Doll. What could be better than that! I should get trophies are not being an alcoholic. Wait? I’m deciding if I am one or not? (I’ve decided ‘no’ because it’s not my fault if part of my blogging JOB is to have fun at cocktail bars. It’s work. 🙂 It’s hard work. 🙂 )

I’m odd to enjoy the sunshine!

Kisses,

Chrissie xx

(Photo by Chris Stevenson)

 

 

 

 

When We Did Gino’s

So, I kinda left my ‘Inadequate Chris’ meeting to dash up the street from La Bottega Milanese to Gino’s Leeds. I’m already late. I’m already dashing. I hate being late. I really hate dashing. I’m checking my phone, as each chick friend of mine is whizzing through a message to Wunna Land. I’m only half reading them and typing back any kind of rubbish. Lol. Then I stopped! You need to stop…..

I kinda realised  that Gino’s was literally 7 steps away from La Bottega Milanese. Clever me! *Up here for thinking! Down there for dancing!*   I was outside the ever so glamourous palace in almost a dazzling jiffy…so I checked my phone properly to actually read the messages. Such a good friend! 😂

LUCKILY, I have friends that are shit at time keeping also! ‘Double B’ was still en route but stuck in traffic, as ‘J’ drove her to Gino’s in her sassy leaf green, diamante rimmed Mercedes. ‘Hustle Barbie’ was all…

‘Where are you? Are you there now? I’m walking up..’

Mel and ‘Fairytale’ were getting a ride into the city by Prince Jonny. It was probably the most awkward ride ever, as ‘Fairytale’ and Prince Jonny had delighted in some fierce ‘anniversary’ ROW, where storming out, tears and tantrums occurred. Mel had been out until five o clock in the morning and was definitely still pissed. She sat in the tense car, trying to make conversation and break the ice…all the way into the city….all the way to Gino’s. Mel’s ace because like Me, she can be really pissed and still have the most glamourous manners. (Well sort of. You should hear some of the stories. Lol)

Anyway, I’m messaging everyone as i’m walking up towards my favourite Italian/Prosecco haunt (I go all the time, I’ve met D’Acampo) and Lord knows what happened?? Stunning little ‘IT Girl’ me, must tripped over my own stiletto, mid looking at myself through some glass window and FELL ONTO THE PAVEMENT ONTO MY ACTUAL FACE, outside D’ACAMPOS! My bag flew out my hand, I grazed my knee, which now had a fake tan smear on it and my right eyelash fell off. That’s what I call glamour!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

I have serious problems if I can’t manage to get my kitty self from Bottega to Gino’s safely.  I think it was because I was sober. If I had a cocktail in my hand, i honestly would’ve been fine.

Anyway, I pick myself up, like the fall never happened, laugh it off TO MYSELF, like an absolute fucking lunatic (as there’s literally no one around me,) I swing through the most glamourous glass revolving doors, which is the magical gateway into Gino’s My Restaurant in Leeds (and they definitely are magic, as you push into the place feeling all bustled and stressed from city life and push out of the place feeling blessed, sexy and like every Italian God has filled up your chilled Prosecco glass, told you you’re beautiful and offered you a ‘night cap’ after a kitty romp. 😉 )

As SOON as I get through the revolving glass doors and i’m finally on to the otherside of life, around 11 minutes late…I’m greeted by the WARMEST smile, the sexiest looking girl, who immediately know who I am, why i’m there, what time i’m meant to be there, takes my coat, calms my soul, explains that I have a ‘friend’ already waiting for me downstairs, that has been given the restaurant/bar card and is having a drink, as she waits for the rest of us.

It’s like she solved all my life problems with a wink.

I smile, I’m happy, I can’t WAIT for a chilled prosecco, i’m excited to do lunch with the girls, at my favourite place in Leeds…as we were also still doing the ‘live’ text thing for ‘Chrissie in the City.’ But as I walked down the spiral staircase by a wall of delicious wines and black and white photos of D’Acampo, swirled in baby blue, glass, light and a stylish, sexy but family ambience, (the air feels fresh in that place,) I was kinda shitting myself because I was late to my own THING and if it was Mel at the bottom of the stairs, I was FUCKED.

So, I did that creepy, peepy bent over thing, as I tried to see who it was…and as I was half way down the stairs with the glorious Prosecco bar directly infront me (it was literally like reaching the pearly ‘Italian’ gates of Heaven’) I just saw her *beam*…as she turned her head around slowly with her sassy, blond hair, jeans, heels and glammy top, with a chilled glass of the finest Italian bubbles in her hand and a ‘Hiiiii!’

FIRMONNELL!

Ofcourse! The only one who managed to make it there exactly on time, with everything organised, a drink in her hand, my restaurant tab card sorted,  a smile on her face and a drink already being poured for me, in the coldest most stylish glass, by some hot looking manager. DREAM!

(Do note: I had only been there 7 minutes, and ALREADY the SERVICE had been IMPECCABLE. I’m a SERVICE girl. I mean I go all around and get invited to every place/event/hotel etc in all the land and I don’t care how great the food, the cocktails, the atmosphere is…IF THE SERVICE IS A BAG OF SHIT BALLS. The thing about Gino’s is that the service is not only INCREDIBLE, it’s sexy. It’s warm. I mean the staff there make you feel SO special that they could mess up, through champers all the way down your top, accidentally trump and then STILL CHARM their way out of it! Lol But it’s not fake. It’s a friendly, cheeky, stylish bit of service. It’s so inviting that it’s almost like they know you, they’re your best friend. They want you to have a great time, will create that ‘great time’ and will then join you in your  ‘great time.’ I’m not joking…my friends and I..that particular afternoon were treated LIKE ABSOLUTE ROYALTY!)

‘I fucking fell down ON MY FACE outside!! YES! ON MY ACTUAL FACE! Hahaha! Wait, i need to glue my eyelash back on….Wait! You look amazing! Aw! Thanks! I needed that drink! LOOK at my knee! I’ve actually GRAZED IT! Haha. Thank you so much for organising it all. I’m so late!’

‘I was starting to get lonely being the only one here, but i’ve taken care of everything…HAHAHA…AS IF YOU FELL ON YOUR FACE!’

And just like that the magic started, as each one of my little glamour pussy friends began tinkering in, as Firmonnell and I kicked back and enjoyed our Prosecco at Gino’s. ‘Hustle Barbie’…

‘You know that i just panicked and stood in the revolving door thing because I didn’t know how to work it and didn’t know why it wasn’t moving! Lol. I mean, I didn’t want to look like an idiot..but…’

Hahaha! I love that she couldn’t figure out that she may have to exert her beautiful self and *push* the door. Lol. But fuck, we’re glamour pusses, we don’t push things…we PULL. 😉 Lock up your sexy sons!

But yes, one by one my best chick friends kept appearing around me at the Prosecco bar with drinks in their hands, banter, smiles and previous night stories…(Again, Mel showed me a comedy bruise at the bar and i can’t even tell you about it. Haha.) We were stood, relaxing, having our drinks topped up without a single prompt…then Giuseppe came to join us. I LOVE Giuseppe! He’s so much fun!

To be honest….that’s probably when the Good times rolled…

Everyone  loves a bit of Giuseppe. He’s sexy, fun, stylish, evil, yet hilarious, loves the ladies and with his ‘Head Of…’ title knows how to charm us, prosecco with us, make us feel WONDERFUL and at the same time as very much being in charge ( I watched him hawk eye the staff to make sure every human in that place was being looked after) he kicked back, poured himself a drink and had fun with us! That’s good service!

He made us feel special! He’s the ideal guy to push the Gino brand. You don’t get service like that anywhere. But yes, we talked about all the new openings, the new prosecco bars, we went through the menu,  her asked me about what I thought was great about places, he chatted to us about our lives and our App and the show…We poured endless drinks, laughed like our sexy Italian souls were free and our pants were down, then like The Queens of  Absolute Sheeba, we were escorted upstairs to our table.

I loved that our table was in the mix of it all…as sometimes when you’re VIP..ing it you sometimes get secluded away, to make you feel wonderful. That’s great in clubs and bars. But in restaurants and a place like Gino’s you want the best seat in the house, amongst all the life, all the the bustle…it’s part of the magic.

We were literally in a *bubble.* We were literally being treated and tinkered like we were the most important people in the world. It felt AMAZING and it felt especially amazing to me because for the first time, I got to enjoy it with my closet ever chick friends. It never happens! And I liked it, because they deserved it. If i’m being honest, because of the blog…I pretty much get treated this way everywhere. What made that day special was the fact they got to feel special tooooooooooooooo! It made me happy! And Giuseppe!!! What a guy! Yeah he’s flirty and naughty. He’s cheeky and sexy…he’s stylish and powerful….but he went out of his way to make sure we enjoyed our time there! I really appreciated it. He works really hard and explained to me how it’s so difficult to hold a relationship when you are a guy who works so hard. Nonetheless, he made sure we were happy.

I mean, if we needed a wee….he’d was walk us. I walked ‘hand in hand’ with him down to the loo…as he scowled at staff members who weren’t doing their jobs, yet skipped with me in great spirits, so I could….piss. LOL.

If we wanted to tinker outside…he escorted us. Double B and I wanted some ‘fresh air,’ so we kept jiggling outside, in our full blown extensions to watch some race that was going on and being televised.

Giuseppe: ‘SEE! WE EVEN PUT ON A RACE FOR YOU! LOL.’

Double B: ‘Is this the Olympics? They have countries printed on their butts??’

Me: ‘You idiot! They’re not going to make Olympians run past the fucking Wetherspoons, Gino’s and Wagamamas! Lol

Double B: ‘Wonder who she’s running for, as she has ‘HOE’ written on her butt!’

Then we pissed ourselves laughing, felt better than everyone else…and then talked about our sex lives with Giuseppe. He likes a curvy girl! They look better during sex. With a flick of our extensions we were back through the magic doors and to our surprise our table had been filled and beautified with the most delicately, delicious looking platters, fit for Queens of Queens….of all delights and winks with more prosecco being chilled for us by our side. It looked like a feast of absolute glamourosity of fresh breads, grained olive dips, giant meat platters, breadsticks, stylishly wrapped veggie…all sorts….all so creatively presented and all made with that good old Italian Love…It’s the love that makes it special, as it’s all about the ‘sharing’ platter.. That’s what food is about in that place….You do food with your family or you share it with the people that you love. I love that. It was delivered to out table before we even ordered our starters and mains.

‘Shit! we’re meant to be texting!!!’

And just like that as the we swirled in the finest Italian dining, with the finest Italian service, as more prosecco was poured endlessly, our starters and mains were brought out and now fresh cocktails were being handed to us by Italian waiters with smiles…we began to photograph, instagram and picture/ text EVERYTHING! In a world of Social Media these ‘moments’ matter. And when it comes to swanky restaurants, events, cocktails bars or anything of that manner…I AM your girl of choice. These days, if a brand knows what they’re doing….:) …I’m usually their first choice of blogger. Didn’t I do well! 🙂

Me: ‘Is this Hustle Barbie’s Espresso Martini? Fuck it. I’ll just drink it anyway, she in the loo…’

Now, we’re Yorkshire girls, we love a good time, we love to eat, we love great food, BUT WE ENJOY THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE….We’re LEEDS and every single ONE of my friends turned around that day and said,

‘That was the best food I have EVER HAD!’

‘I have never felt so special!’

‘We need to come back again….NOW!’

‘There’s no words to describe how great this has been!’

After wards with our little bellies full and our souls filled with cocktails..

Mel: ‘I feel a bit pissed me…’

..we all had to say our ‘Good byes’ dash off and catch our trains, rides and next choices home.

Everyone left merrily, Hustle Barbie went to meet friends for more drinks, Giuseppe, Firmonnell and I went back downstairs to the Prosecco bar to enjoy more cocktails and talk about life…

Then with a wink….we slowly sauntered back to the station to catch out trains out of the city.

I MISSED BOTH MY TRAINS….and my phone had died. So I had to sit with this guy who had a communal table, where all the weirdos flocked. No chairs. Just a table. He had slept in a van and got up at 4.30am to help people on bikes. He was nurse or something and had just given a homeless women, with no teeth money, who then got arrested for being on drugs 10 seconds afterward. Lol

That’s life.

One second you’re being swirled in VIP magic. The next moment you’re watching women with no life left in their soul, get arrested in seconds by communal tables with no chairs. 😫

(Told you i’d get you in the blog. :))

I totally typed chrissiewunna.com into his notes section.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chrissie in the city, La Bottega & Ginos with The Girls

Morning! Morning! Hope you’ve shot into you weekend with a rummy *yippeee* and a high kick of victory to the wine Gods. I had a rough yesterday. A looooooooooooooooong work Saturday. It dragged. All of my friends and I did. We were ‘all in.’ It made us retire to our normal home lives and then DRINK GALLONS OF BOOZE until we felt normal. At that point, i cuddled the babies to sleep, talked to ‘the swirl’ (the hottest human I will ever swirl with…I love him, no one beats our banter. He makes my eyes smile….) and then after describing a written book of porn that was gifted to me by a chubby stranger, to review…I resided to my kitten bed sheets and enjoyed a good nights sleep.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

IN THAT TIME …

DRAMA OCCURED. Shit went down…and I missed it.

I don’t know what’s happened, but ‘fairytale’ is all forlorn, so that’s not good. It was her Anniversary last night. Double B was fine…I received a million morning texts from here telling me how much she loved me, whilst fueled by shots and her body weight in red wine. Mel, got in at 2am after a tinseled night on the town in heels and Firmonnell and I bantered about hot pink heels, the best lunch ever and dodgy gimp masks that should only be worn in the bedroom. We laughed so hard we cried, to the point where Hustle Barbie, strutted in looked at us like we were dickheads and left in a strop.

The diets going well. For six days straight I ate zero carbs, just salad and then I had pasta last night and more bags of Wotsits. Lol FUCKS SAKE! I’m gonna send Michelle Keegan a box of wotsits to make her slow her roll.

Y’see in Yorkshire, no one diets during the weekend. No one does. It’s against the rules. On Sunday we have a roast and we drink. That’s it. You’ll meet a Yorkshire girl and she will always tell you that she’s had a few at the weekend and that no one diets during that time. It’s the rules. Like I said. I need to find my Hollywood mentality, but it’s hard when you’re a being a country bumpkin. Lol. I swore that my 23 year old ABS were hiding under my belly fat.

So yeah, I’ve gone and had pasta. I still feel skinny though. In a wibbly kind of glamour puss way. And I don’t care. Fuck it.

Away from all that I have a busy day. A fun day, but a bus one!

I’m all dressed up, in a glammy boobie dress by Jessica Wright and shortly I will be en route to La Bottega Milanese at Bond Court in Leeds, for a morning coffee at the espresso bar with ‘Inadequate Chris.’ (He wants a collabo and well he’s the champion of Snapchat with trophies to prove it. EVERYTHING is social media right now. i mean, Googlebox is now Vlogglebox. Get it? Learn it quickly!)

Straight after my morning breakfast banter with ‘Inadequate Chris’ I will be headed straight to Gino’s (Gino’s My Restauarnt in Leeds, owned by the very sexy D’Acamapo, who I had the pleasure of meeting last month..) as the girls and I are going to celebrate life, friendship and good food, in the name of love. I have a Black card to Gino’s so we’re very lucky to enjoy such a good time. We’re all going to be arriving separately from across the city and tinker into lunch in heels. We’ll be coming ‘up/down/around…and from a meeting.’

We’re also on our last day of texting. For the last 10 days, the girls and I, including Liam in Blackpool, have had our private text messages made ‘live’ to the public for you to read, for an app by Onlookr (onlookr.co.uk) for ‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY.’

We’ve done really well and enjoyed it and again really lucky as it’s all going be moving forward. You can follow todays actions as we live text from Gino’s.

It’s sort of like ‘Sex and the City’ but in Wunna land, with my friends and the city is Leeds. And it’s been great to let you have insight into what really happens in real time.

We’ll be texting from Gino’s Leeds today, so you can come day ‘Hi’ and be a part of the drama or just download the app and follow our chitter.

I’n really happy. Life is great. I’m in a rush, as I have trains to catch. But thank you. I love you for everything. I’m tanning and rushing. I’ve gotta go.

 

Chrissie x

 

Friday Hoopla, Gino’s & Da Ladies

Yay! Espresso Martini’s for everyone! It is fucking Friday! Technically, this week the Friday ‘Hoopla’ means nothing to me as I’m working ALL Saturday,  (YIPEEEE.) Yet I’ll let you all enjoy your *can can.* I’m one to start the party, not poop at it.

I’m feeling positive and refreshed. I’m smashing my diet, thanks to ‘Fairytale’ and Hustle Barbie. YOU’RE ALL going to jelaous of me in a bikini. I’m not saying that I think i’m fat. I’m saying that I have wibbly bits that might need a *jiggle* off…I’m quite a vain person, so it has nothing to do with my health and everything to do with looking good! Lol. And yeah, you may think that is shit, but it’s not. I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood and my entire career at that point was making money from ‘looking good.’ It’s healthy to shake off ya wibbly bits. Especially when ‘Firmonnell’ says I an have a rum.

‘Honestly, it’s better for you than wine.’

I’ve had to change my mental state of thought, because ‘Hustle’ and ‘Fairytale’ are actually shit at making me just eat leaves. (They’re already skinny, so it doesn’t matter to them.) They’re all..

‘Lets have a bun’ here…’I really need a biscuit’ there…’Chrissie banana bread is just like brown toast with banana on it. It’s good for you.’

‘IT’S FUCKING CAKE!’

So ‘Firmonnell’ and I have made the executive decision TO LET THEM eat cake.

‘Eat it my pretties…’

That way, when we’re supermodel skinny and flouncing around like the happy chick on the Bodyform beach commercials, they’ll be fat…and that will make me happy. 🙂 I’ll look like a Michelle Keegan in a bikini and they’ll look like Stavros Flatley. (Everyone made fun of my Ellen Degeneres Girl Crush yesterday. I don’t get why people don’t see the attraction? If i could marry any woman…it would be HER!)

‘Well yeah, she is funny Chrissie…’

‘NO! She’s hot! It goes waaaaaaaaaay beyond funny. Lol.’

I’ve confused myself really because i’m definitely very straight but GOD, I fancy Ellen. Lol. I’m not even kidding. I adore her. AND she follows me on Twitter!

I’m feeling a bit rough today. I did after work cocktails simply because it was THURSDAY. Not sure why I thought that was such a good idea? However, everyone must have jumped on the bandwagon because the place was RAMMED. In Leeds…everyone votes for cocktails through the week. Which reminds me…I forgot to actually Vote for the Prime Minister. Lol. Fuck it. I voted ‘Pornstars.’

I have lots going on but i’m happy. It feels chilled and in control. This week is a busy one…and during my spits of time off (which is only Sunday) I have a morning coffee with ‘Inadequate Chris’ (he’s a Snapchat star and does these really funny videos.) He messaged me yesterday to see if we could come up with a collabo. We’ll be doing La Bottega Milanese in Leeds, at around 10.30am? Can’t remember what time I said?

THEN I meet the girls, my besties, my dolls (we’ve had our private text messages ‘LIVE’ for the world to read all week and it’s been so fun. We’re almost at the end of our 10 day ‘Chrissie in the City’ stint…Yet we’ve done and are doing so well, that it’s going to get picked up, revamped and moved forward.’ App show here we come. The future is all about Social Media and we’ve accidentally got ourselves a future HIT..if we do it right.)

Anyway, what was I saying? Chris at Bottega? Yes, on Sunday at 1pm, all us girls are meeting up and kicking back to enjoy a prosecco dripped, cocktailed lunch at one of my favoruite Leeds haunts Gino’s. It is owned by the very famous Gino ‘D’acampo. I did his live show. I chatted to him about life. I’m goign to the opening of the Harrogate restaurant. I wrote the infamous blog on his joint (the first time that I visited.) It swirled through the head honchos and D’acampo offices. I now have a Black card…and the girls and I are going to treat ourselves to the finest pasta, cocktails in all the land of Leeds….and glare at delicious Italian waiters…as we get very glamourously pissed.

I want one of Mel’s kittens!

(I love that I’ve just seen a picture of my friend Katty stood by a ‘Polling station’ sign with the words…

THEY SEE ME POLLIN’ ….THEY HATING…’ underneath it. 

Hahahaha! DYING.That’s what life’s about.)

I’ve run out of foundation, had no time to buy any, my hair extensions are falling to pieces and i’ve forgotten to watch Love Island. UGH! FFS! What is life!

 

 

 

 

Busy Times, Travel, New Apps & Blackpool

I don’t even know where to start. So much has happened, that it’s almost like a *blur.* In the last 72 hours, i’ve probably worked the hardest i’ve ever worked and travelled from city to city promoting all sorts of jiggery, to all sorts of people. It’s what I wished for right? And yeah, it’s not easy. But i’m a ‘non sulker.’  We just get on with it right? You don’t get anything without working hard and it’s the ones that put in the grind that get the rewards. (Blah, but true.) This is a really busy time in Wunna Land…I don’t even know where to begin…But it’s GREAT!

I’ve fitted in all sorts from work, to leaving do’s, to prosecco dripped afternoons, where we learnt that blowing up balloons that taste like salt is a sin, fanning yourself with used Mayo plates by surprise is disgusting, that we know how to spend almost a £100 on Pornstars Martinis in one round and that i’m shit at stalling people. Lol

‘Chrissie, just go out there and stop her from coming in her! We’re not ready!’

My lips have never been more chapped from balloon blowing. We blew like bitches. Double B turned into a balloon blowing Nazi and Hustle Barbie almost collapsed after gentle blowing ONE! Lol. However, i’m still smiling, so I must be okay. (Or an alcoholic? Who knows?)

There’s been trains, schedules, manic travelling, family birthdays, being mum, filming shows, starting new texting reality dramas for all of you to read and an event blog diary that is filling up all the way through to Autumn faster than I can *blink.* I even have a book to put together over the next few months.

I’ve shared gin and tonics with good friends and you know they’re great when they actually rush upstairs to get changed for the gym and then immediately fuck off the honing of a ‘Kardashian’ booty to jog to the bar to spend ‘G & T’ time with you. That’s what ‘Double B’ did. That is a good human. That’s what I call a glamour puss! It makes me glow knowing that she’s ace. I need beings like that in my world…ALWAYS. You need to be her.

There’s been up and downs, great times and exhaustion and I thought I was gonna feel really sorry for myself ( we always have those moments don’t we, where we all get scared, tired or worried) until my Mum sat me down and said,

‘I know you’re tired. I know it’s hard. I know you’re juggling a lot. And yeah, I hate seeing you think you can’t handle it. But you can. I’m proud of you. You are surrounded by great people, who support you madly. You have one shot at opportunity…and this is your shot…don’t blow it, go for it…In the end, you’ll be beaming. Remember how lucky you are. Stay completely earthed. I love you. I love you more than anything. Go for it.’

Anyway, with that in my head and after a really long work week, I kissed the babies ‘bye’ and shot off on a train to Blackpool to go see one of my good friend Liam Halewood (He’s a singer and entertainer…He did the Xfactor and we’ve become besties, after Lisa Appleton introduced us. ) He’s gay. I’m his token hottie friend. You get it. Booyah! Gin for everyone!

My girls, Liam and I had been texting each other the whole day. (Our private text messages are currently ‘live’ on the Onlookr App for ‘Chrissie in the City’…Where you now get direct insight into my life 24/7, with our messages delivered straight to your phone. It’s had such a mad buzz  on Twitter. I’m not gonna tell you it’s easy, because it’s not and i’m used to having my ‘privates tellings’ splashed all over for the cyber world to read. But I will tell you it’s fun.. It’s a story to tell. Once we get going, we’re ace and I’m really grateful that I have such good friends. I mean that. I really mean that. PS/ Thank you… You’re wonderful.) At this moment in time. I’d say, we’re really lucky.

But yeah, I slept all the way up to Blackpool with messages coming in galore, weird tramps next to me who kept shouting out the word ‘Pussy’ (they had their kids next to them also…delicious,) time was going slowly and i had a message from a production company who are working on a Channel 4 show, that I want to be on. They asked me to call them pronto. It made me feel giddy!

I had zero charge on my phone, so  I just couldn’t do it. OFCOURSE. I don’t like trains without chargey spots. Infact, you know when they say ‘Divas’ always have ‘high maintenance’ requests…like..

‘I’ll only have green M & M’s and Gin & Tonic flavoured crisps please..’

(Yes, you can get them. 😉 )

My ONLY EVER requests are..

‘There needs to be an alcoholic beverage of any kind, but not a shot, free wifi and phone charger points close to me, at all times.’

(Sorry, i’m pissing myself. It’s still Junior’s birthday weekend and their both still up having a ‘dance party’ in the next room, after an entire day at Sundown Adventure land. They’re cute. I LOVE THEM. It’s late. But whatever, I’m soft. You’re only 4 once. 🙂 )

As soon as I got off the Leeds train to Blackpool, life just lit up! I was ready. I’d had a nap. Lol. I was excited to see Liam and there he was with a hug. (Even though we just stood there talking , accidentally at the front of the taxi queue, waiting for a his hubby Lee to come get us, as other people formed an orderly queue behind us and waited for ages for a cab.)

‘Ooh shit sorry! We didn’t realize you were waiting for a taxi! We’re just chatting. Lol.’

Got back to Liam’s and chilled it for a bit, as we caught up with Lee his hubbster, I had an a phone call audition to tend to, so i scheduled that in and did it on speaker as I got completed naked and got changed into a ‘going to dinner’ dress and then we slagged all the new Big Brother contestants off. Well…I did. Liam’s nicer than I am. Lol. (When he’s not pissed. Lol.) I’m the opposite. I’m nicer when drunk and yeah i’d say heavily down to earth but naturally SASSY when sober. 🙂  I have no problem telling you what i honestly think.

(‘Fairytale Blond’ has just ruined Sunday by reminding me of our ‘next week’ work schedule. She wanted to share her pain with me and remind me that we’re both on some hardcore diet from now on. Lol. We’re too hot to work that hard. Honest! Why is she ruining Sunday? 🙂  We have one day off…that has already been scheduled out to Gino’s Restaurant in Leeds. For the next 12 days straight, i will be with ‘fairytale.’ She’s put us all on diets! Lol) 

Anyway, great hour long phone audition done, our friend Aaron stopped by, Liam got changed, as he was filming his Facebook Live ‘Liam’s Corner of the Couch’  thing with a singing gig to follow and I dashed into my dress, hopped in the car and we all headed for dinner at the Waves Bistro.

Great place, because it’s so chilled yet so lovely.  As soon as you walk in it’s filled with ambiance, which I love and beautiful seaside detail. Like our table was glass covered, with internally filled with soft sand, that had scattered real sea shells and stones in. I loved it. It was warm. Well appointed. Had things like a sensor lighthouse on the walls and new fittings with decadent glamourous rooms. His hotel has actual been on the Channel 4 show ‘Four Beds..’ and it won!

Matt the owner..

‘I love that picture..’

‘Which one…? Oh that one of me casually in a bath in a barn! lol’

…came to greet me immediately with the biggest smile and the greatest most down to earth manner. Not snooty at all. I love that! I felt at home straight away…then asked for a Prosecco and a phone charger point. 🙂 He couldn’t be more easy to get on with and when youre easy to get on with and have a bottle of bubbles in your hand, i’m probably going to be your bestie…

Liam was setting up for his ‘Liam’s corner of the couch’ interview with ME. I was shitting myself for no reason..and now guzzling wine. Aaron was looking through menu’s. Then we all whammed in steak food orders…

‘Yeah, the steak, no fat..’

‘No blood..’

‘I don’t mind blood…No carbs, so just veg…’

‘Do you do fish?’

Then we filmed the show. I watched Liam chitter chatter for a bit. I talked shit in the live interview with him, where I talked Paris Hilton, Steven Bartlett for a bit…and we all sat down with Matt the owner over the most delicious starters (I had the roasted bell pepper) and steak mains. I’d go again…and I hardly ever say that! It just felt lovely and I always go on how places make me feel. It’s the manner of the joint.

Best Service ever…Best company ever. Even the noisy ‘when we were filming’ Geordies were ace.

‘How do we shut them up?’

Delicate sea shelled tables, light Prosecco pours, perfectly cooked steak and right by the beach at the coast. Who knew Waves Bistro existed? He’s done a fasntatstic job. That will be one of the BEST places in Blackpool. Everything had been modernized in the warmest way. I mean the staff couldn’t be more chilled and polite. No wonder it won awards. I did selfies with Matt, by a lighthouse wall. He deserved them.

Then all was said and done…we’re ordering taxi’s to take us to the next hotel for Liam’s gig and..

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

*PAP/PAP*

And that was non stop upon exit, until they nearly got run over, by a taxi.

‘Who are you dating? Are you off on Big Brother?’

I’m great with all that though. It all helps. 😉

Got to next hotel and could finally just chill! Aaron and I watched Liam do his set and he’d down played it to me like he was shit, but he was AMAZING.

We drank, we laughed, we drank, we laughed, we got our Tina Turner on, then were joined by Kyle (he’s Aaron’s friend and a Wunna fan, so he’s already a favourite) and we committed to a night of debauchery.

Got out that hotel…

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP* 

But by then it was a blast. We were all ‘tell it how it is’ and  sweary. For the most expressive human, I was great and graceful and all ‘I don’t know sir?’ 

We all jumped into a cab, I plonked on Liam’s Playboy comfies. (I love comfies more than anything in the world.) I text all my chick friends to make sure life was all in tact and sent a guy I was thinking about a message, AFTER ORDERING DOMINOS AT 2 AM in the morning.

Great nights sleep. Did my face in a Apple Desktop computer screen the next morning. I had such a great time. I couldn’t have been looked after better. It meant a lot. It made me smile. I can’y wait to go again.

Got straight back in the afternoon, after coffee, banter and a cheeseburger by Balamory looking Houses. All I wanted was to see the babies after such a tough week of work. I love work. I love my friends. I’m grateful for everything. But i love my baby time. I’m in charge of making sure they’re great adults…Its a huge thing for me. I do it well by making them feel special. No…I do it the best I can….All parents do, with our fingers crossed.

Got back to Leeds, texted everyone…and then I slept…

I’ll be back on track tomorrow. Ill have a good blog. I’m just so knackered. I need extra shut eye. x Diet starts tomorrow, as my friends and I ALL have bikinis to get into.

Life is changing. Good things are happening. It’s a shock. But if you don’t take it too seriously and enjoy the ride, its not so shabby.

DON’T FORGET THAT MY BEST FRIENDS AND i HAVE OPENED UP OUT PRIVATE TEXT MESSAGES FOR 10 DAYS ONLY, FOR THE PUBLIC TO READ….OPENLY.

THEY ARE CURRENTLY ‘LIVE’ ON THE ONLOOKR APP for ‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY’ and there’s no better way to get an actual insight to what we really goes on in Wunna land.

Download the app NOW!

You’ve missed loads.

Onlookr.co.uk