Life, Auditions & Guys….

So busy! So much work. But loving every minute of it. I have grumpy moments. Yet i’m shaking them off. Life’s too short to play silly sorts. If i’m being honest, it’s crazy how everything’s just changing for me work wise. I’ve hustled really hard for a really long time and i’m still at it…tinkering away. (I worked all day yesterday, took care of Ruby and Junior and then filmed an audition, before getting to up at five o clock this morning to work some more.) I’ve got my fingers crossed and all the hope in the world. God, I have all the hope in the world. There’s a glint in my kitten eyes. Yet something tells me that this time, it’s all going to be dandy.  It FEELS really good! Everything in life is all about how you FEEL and right now, i feel on top of the world. I’m smashing it. As a guy used to always say to me…

‘You’re on flames babe.’

I breathe out all the time, in disbelief because I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. But i’m getting there. I’m en route…I just need to focus and put some fire crackers in my frilles. 🙂

Anyway, even away from Wunna Land, so much is going on in the world. We all know that. But i’m someone who will always focus on the good and never give power to the bad. My soul is far too delicious waste my time on any negativity. So like I said in my last blog, it’s a great time to be a WOMAN. A ‘W.O.M.A.N’  (*Sassy* click here.) Feel powerful. There are so reasons for you to be happy. So own your womanhood.

I mean with everything that has come out about the Harvey Weinstein drama and all the women and men who have opened up about their own personal experiences of ‘sexual harassment’ in entertainment…(I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood, in the entertainment industry. I found myself in numerous situations where in which some guy in power, who would have my career dangling on a stick, right in front of me, would attempt to offer himself to me suggestively or try to make me offer myself to him suggestively, in order to gift me with my apparent ‘dreams come true.’ It happens all the time. Infact, it happened to me a month and a half ago, in England. Who do some people think they’re trying to kid?)

Luckily, I’m a tough cookie…and I’m not someone who would EVER…EVER surrender to such Tom Foolery. Especially being a Mum to a little girl. I’m a good human. I’m a sassy human. I don’t play like that. I have far too much faith in myself, timing, talent and in life. I don’t need to take shortcuts, because when I *bloom,* it will be done at the right time, the right way and with a good energy…a glittery happiness…an giddy warmth…a decent flair of panache.

But i whole heartedly stand by every single woman, that has come forward, be you Angelina Jolie, or Suzie from around the block…who has opened up and told their story, as it will keep your hearts safe and keep entertainment about creative talent and not about what some people feel they negatively NEED to DO, to get where they want to be. Say NO, to what we in LA used to label the ‘Casting Couch.’ It’s a disgrace! Believe in yourself and your own talents. Don’t panic. Don’t rush. You’ll get there. I promise. If you work hard, learn to be great at what you do and just be a decent person, who stays loyal to what they believe is right.

ANYWAY, I’ve got lost in the jumble. I’m meant to be telling you about my time with Inadequate Chris.

I filmed on Sunday with him in Park Square Leeds. We had the most amazing time and did the most amazing comedy sketches. We also filmed a few bits for Snapchat, to tickle their delightful new features. And soon you can delight in a bit of Inadequate Chris/Wunna Land hilarity. We work really well as a comedy duo. I’m not a serious person. I know how to have a good time. And even though he’s a lot shyer than I am…(He made us wait on a park bench for ages in Park Square, Leeds until a random gang of boys had left, before he would film his scene Lol) he’s a pretty great talent.

That day I learnt that I can talk nonsense with the greatest of ease, when a cameras put in my face, that we’re not the cast of Hollyoaks, that I might win a BAFTA and that everything ends in cocktails. (Remember, if I do anything, I only ever ask for a phone charging facility and some form of celebratory alcoholic beverage.)

After filming we walked up to the ever so glamourous Victoria Gate in Leeds ( I adore bouji. I love the Victoria Quarter)..Chris wheeled his push bike, with a backpack, tripod and camera shoved in it, as we chatted about our day of filming.

Chris: ‘You’re pretty likeable. There’s a likeability to you.’

The sun shone down on us and the wind was a little brisk. It was crisp. Traffic was everywhere, yet steady. I was talking about a guy a met earlier in the year,  his love life and a show I recently filmed…and then we finally got to the glorious Victoria Gate entrance, where life turns into luxury, the world surrenders to peace and you glamourously take that elevator up to Level 3, to Issho.

I love Leeds. I remember strutting through the streets at the end of the day, just feeling the air, the city and the buzz around me. It made me beam. It made me feel at home. Like the world was my oyster. It is SUCH a great city!

Now, Chris and I have ended up being quite good friends. We tell each other a lot. He’s currently dating someone new and adoring it. I mean they’re definitely in that initial ‘happy, but are we secure’ stage…he didn’t say that, but I know that. I watched him chitter about his girl and when he did, his eyes lit up. That’s how I know they are going to be okay. 🙂

I’ve said this before…and I got this from Josh the bartender. (He whispered it across a bar, as I sipped a salted rimmed margarita.)

A guy who loves a girl will ALWAYS PUT HER ON A PEDESTAL. No girl will ever compare to her. She’ll be his everything. And as a girl, you’ll feel it. You’ll feel on top of the world. And if you don’t….you’re not on that pedestal yet. You know when you are. But you know when you’re not. We as girls tend to make excuses for the guys at this point. Don’t….if you’re meant to be his Goddess, you will be!

I can officially state that Inadequate Chris, has merrily ‘pedestal placed’ his new girlfriend..So we decided to celebrate it with the finest Japanese lunch, cocktails and white wines. I adore the bouji peacefulness of Issho. It is filled with a magical swirl that lets your soul enjoy the finer things in life, yet it does it beautifully and calmly….Where you’re at your most ZEN. We chatted about everything for hours…and then tried to get the best value for money throughout the wine list and menu. (It’s a Yorkshire thing.)

Chris: ‘This is why I love hanging out with you. You always tell it how it is,  but make me feel good about myself. No, I don’t like wine.’

Me: ‘You’re such a Queen.’

(Do note…He’s ever so straight. Just gentle, like a Queen by nature. Almost emotionally Royal. I’m a glamour puss directed with a shimmie of absolute femininity. However, I have the most inappropriately masculine sense of humour. )

After we drank loads and spoke about life, under the Issho lights, I noticed that when it comes to love, he is certainly someone that I would label a ‘ love bunny.’ So he’ll adore a girl madly and want to spend every single waking minute of the day with them. In return, she has to adore him madly. And it’s cute.

I love love…but I’m an independent career girl. I’m romantic and loving…but as the saying goes ‘behind every great man is an even greater woman’ I am that woman. I can’t be asred cooking ya tea, but i’ll make you the greatest man alive!

Nothing is better to me than empowering people to be the best they can be. I do it positively. There’s a cheeky warmth about it all. It’s not evil. I love bringing the best in folk,  who don’t actually realise how amazing they are!

Anyway, I’m exhausted. I’m off to bed. I’m working all day tomorrow, the kids are on a school trip and I’ve got 2 more auditions, plus a book to write.  I’m pretty lucky. No. I’m really lucky. Hard work, pays off.

 

 

 

A Quick Wunna Land Catch Up….

What a weekend!! Wunna land is brimming right now. It’s tinkered with joy, my babies are delightful, the prosecco pours are everywhere, I’m as happy as can be, and work is hitting the ‘smashing it’ belt. (I have no clue what that means…just go with it.) For once, I finally feel as though i’m taking the elevator up the Ladder of Success, instead of slow crawling it, with stretchy legs and the odd ‘huffs and puffs.’ My elevator’s moving at a steady old pace, yet it’s filled with glamorousity, good timing and that flawless knacker of hard work, determination and talent. Cocktails are in the elevator tooo! It helps.

Anyway, I can’t remember what I did n Friday? What did I do? I worked. Hustle Barbie is now a vegan…she might have also convinced everyone else to be a glamourous vegan because we certainly watched suffer through the art of ‘being hung over’  and helped her celebrate  her new veganism by eating Vegetarian ‘Collin the Caterpillars. Sassy girl banter, then occurred which was decorated by a decent conglomeration of executive spikey  heels. Wine happened. Then it was finally all over.

I was actually meant to be travelling to London this morning on a six o clock in the morning train with Firmonnell for a lucky bit of filming. At the last minute it all had to get rescheduled, so we’ll be on a six o clock train some other day shortly, doing ‘glammy’ prosecco train breakfast and trying to look like we’re kittens, as opposed to looking like we may be doing the ‘walk of shame.’ I’m quite comfortable with my glamourousity. I’m a glamour puss. Kitten hood runs through my veins. Firmonnell, still needs to own up to her glamourousity. She’s got it. Oh she’s got it. She just needs to stick a feather in her hat and OWN it. (She was really shocked when she was described as ‘chatty, fun and attractive.’ If you knew her…you wouldn’t be shocked at all.)

Firmonnell: ‘You don’t half talk some shit Wunna, but i love you for it. You should have some job where you just constantly make people feel good about themselves.’

I do! I tell my rubbish story, so you all feel better about our OWN lives. Lol

Right now, it’s a GREAT TIME TO BE A GIRL RIGHT, SO MAKE IT YOURS! OWN IT. Slip on those heels and get your sassy booty strutting! You don’t need a guy to help you. As far as i’m aware…they need us. 😉

Anyway, I spent my weekend with my family. My Mum, my Dad, my brother and the babies. Dad a birthday. (Don’t know how old he is, but i love him immensely. I couldn’t have got luckier when it comes to having a wonderful pops. We have laughed and cried together and had the best time that any Daddy Daughter combo could ever celebrate. We celebrated.

I bought toys with the babies, we shopped, we lunched, I refueled at Prosecco Pit Stop in Doncaster, Junior found his inner ‘ooh laa’ and gave ‘good times’ the welly! He went for it! I’ve never seen him so happy. I kinda think it was because Ruby skedaddled off for a moment, because Pete (HER Daddy) also had a birthday, so he took her to the cinema, which left Junior playing ‘only child for once‘ with Mama…Me…..and boy did it turn BOUJI! Junior is SO MUCH FUN. It’s crazy. I can see my genes running through is system. Ruby’s SASSY like Mum. Junior’s FUNNY like Mum. I’m so proud of the babies. They are my favourite humans on this Earth Ball. (Which is quite handy, since I birthed them)

Anyway, good times and merriment…an audition and the organisation of a shoot.

Then Sunday peeked through my window…and before you know it, after a quick drive to Mercedes in Wakefield, I was back on a train to Leeds….I like the Sunday afternoon train to Leeds, as it’s filled with Prosecco girls.

Ten minutes, I was at my stop…..and with a flick of the big Hollywood hair and wink in my walk…I strutted my little self to Park Square, in Leeds….In leopard print…. to meet Inadequate Chris, for an afternoon of ‘comedy sketch’ filming….

In the Name of James…

I’m back! Sorry! I’ve been so busy working. Luckily towards the end of the year, it all pans out beautifully and I will finally be able to delight in having more time to do what I love…which is to tell my story…and blog!

I don’t even know where I ended up last. But since then my fabulous gay friend Liam ended up on my telly and I watched him tinker his looks on ‘Body Fixers’ on E4, to change a look that the masses believed resembled ‘Alan Carr’ to just ‘Being Liam.’ The thing about Liam (and I am quite close to him) is that he is a really talented entertainer. He plays it down well. But when I once went to watch him do his Cabaret type shimmies in Blackpool, I was astounded at how talented an entertainer he actually is. I guess, it’s always a surprise when people play things down. But as we know. I adore a talented human. It doesn’t matter what they do, I’m delighted by talented beings.

Anyway, on Monday, he invited me down to Viva Blackpool to be part of raising awareness and raising funds for the James Bulger Memorial Trust. It’s a charity really close to my heart, as being a Mum…I honestly can’t imagine how Denise (who is the mother of little James Bulger,) not only stays so strong, yet has managed to turn her personal experience, that the ENTIRE world would regards as heart breakingly tragic, into something so selfless and positive, in order to help others who may go through the same. I met Denise that night and she beamed at me with a smile and a warmth that was nothing short of true compassion and strength. It was such an honour. It was humbling.

The event was star studded! I’m a huge music fan. I’m a huge musical theatre fan also. So a gigantic show was put on, filled with the most heart racing talent…I mean I watched Lydia Lucy from The Voice (words cannot even describe how amazing her voice is), Connor Mckenna from Pitch Battle, Gary Barker who is currently on this years XFactor and The Jersey Boys, who you can’t help but fancy…You couldn’t even pick one NOT TO FANCY! Those boys can harmonize around me ANYTIME, in those fitted red blazers and squeezy tight dress trousers.  It was just a star studded swirl of Viva magic…Dinner, drinks…and an ambience that sizzled with life, love and sequins. (I totally had Pina Coladas. It felt very Pina Coladary.)

Anyway, the trek to Blackpool (even though I’m Northern) seems quite lengthy, it took hours. But I ended up getting there in time, working out on the promenade and dolling up to glamour puss in it in the name of James Bulger.

I was meeting Lisa (as in Appleton) there, who I’ve known for quite a long time now. In 2009, we were on TV shows at the same time, so we also know the same people. (We all did the circuit at that time) I am actually really good friends with Rex who was trapped in the Big Brother House with her during that time.

Her tyre busted en route to the event, so she ended up being late, so I totally stole her room at the New Osbourne, which was beautiful and laden with fluffy fresh sheets, champagne and a teddy bear! I know! How cute. I love it there. The service is impeccable. I’m a service girl. 😉

But when she arrived, and ‘Aaron the Pap’ had *papped* away during our entrance, we had the best time ever.

Image may contain: 4 people, people smiling, people standing and indoor

We’re both Northern, we both know fun and how to have it,  we’re both the type of gals who see life as the ‘big picture.’ I remember speaking to her in the loos, as she produced a sassy bottle of cider from her handbag. (You know you’re northern when that happens.) Infact she chose the size of her handbag based upon it’s ability to hold cider. Lol. Anyway, the thing about Lisa is that she’ll talk about anything openly and I love that about her. She’s a really good soul and a person that never takes advantage of anyone. She’s giving. She gentle. But certainly not a push over. I like her a lot…and she delights in my glamorous HONESTY. 🙂 I had some of that cider and laughed along with her. I mean, a lot of people say a lot about her. She’s in the press almost every day. Yet when she’s 80, she’ll be able to look back upon her time and laugh, knowing that she lived and that she had the best time on Earth ever.

Liam, Lisa & Ryan Mira (who is her PR,) infact the lot of them…all shimmied off to ‘Peek a Boo’s’ after the event for a night of absolute ‘Drag Queen ‘ debauchery. I love a Queen. I used to ‘Piggy Back’ them outside The Abbey in LA, in my 20’s. Useful form of transport really. I was dating one of the bartenders at the time…and it was strange because my ‘Queen’ transport fancied him too. Lol. My transport secretly hated me. I thought she was a bit whippy around the corners.

As per usual, like everyone does, they tried to make me ‘Peek a Boo’ it with them, with a ‘We’re only going to be another hour, come on!’ (I’m lame now. I love to do cocktails etc and wink the night in luxury and glamourousity…But I don’t stay out. I like to go home, go back to the hotel and just go to bed or chill. Lol. I’m awful for it. Even my friends know…Once i’m done…and it’ll always be earlier than everyone else…I’ll just leave to put my comfies on.  Haha.)

Yet away from that, I’m so wise to the ‘we’re only gunna be’ line, that I should have it embroided onto my frillies.

Straight away I called my own taxi back to The New Osborne, because I knew I had a really early start in the morning and had to be up and on a six o clock train to Leeds for work. I went to bed around midnight….Snapchatted everything. Set my alarm for five o clock in the morning….(I kinda woke up every hour and didn’t sleep that well. But you do don’t you, when you know you’re away from home and need to be somewhere early. When you need to catch trains and all that jizzle.)

AAAANNNNNYWAY….Team ‘We’re only going to be an hour’ ROCKED BACK TO THE HOTEL at FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING, as my ALARM went off for ‘Wake Up.’

It actually sounded like they had the best time…They were laughing out loud and I was sliding out of my fluffy sheets with this random teddy bear, to get showered and do my face, after a nights sleep.

I was at the station and on the train as soon as their heads hit a pillow. Ofcourse my train got cancelled and I had to get on the 7.11am one instead, so I just sat, on my own, at a train station in Blackpool at six o clock in the morning chilling….

By 9am, I was back in Leeds and off to work. Lol.

I actually scrolled through Twitter quickly and saw that we were in The Mirror… and infact the Daily Star…

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, people standing and text Image may contain: 2 people

Great times! Good fun! Amazing people. And more than anything, an evening dedicated to such an important and such a good good cause, the James Bulger Memorial Trust!

My heart honestly goes out to all Mums, children and families, who are going through or have been through the same….There was a lot of talent there and the place was celeb packed, but what an absolute honour to meet Denise Fergus, (James’ Mum) who couldn’t be a more positive soul. Watching her strength, gives you an immediate reality check and inspires you to reunite with your own inner Hero.

 

 

Leeds, Life & Cocktails

My weekend’s been great! Right from the ‘get go,’ it’s been filled with life. I feel like the luckiest girl alive and to be honest, I have no clue why? There’s just such a buzz that’s swirling around Wunna Land that is nothing short of ‘juicy.’ It’s contagious. Good luck seems to be pouring in (I almost typed ‘pouring gin,’ ) my confident is soaring and…well i’m just feeling great about myself right now. Just like anyone, I go through the ‘ups the downs’ and the dodgy parts that I find the WORST…which i label the ‘inbetweens.’ I’m ALL or NOTHING, always SOMETHING and never chilling in ‘grey.’ When I feel stuck in a rut, (and i’m talking about work) I make positive changes with ease. I don’t find changes, especially positive ones difficult…No one should. So many people are so scared to indulge in the things that they adore? Doing that goes against human nature. It goes against the natural grain of what your soul is made for. Right now…I’m feeling on top of the world and boy, I hope you are toooo!

Right, so Friday night is usually my chill night. I love my ‘Chill Friday,’ as I’ve usually Frisbee’d off a stunningly busy work week, making Friday all about home life, relaxing and refuelling to rubbish telly and take out, in over sized frillies and tshirts, with the kids.

This Friday, straight after work, I ventured off into Leeds with one of my girl besties ‘Hustle Barbie’ to enjoy a chick ‘Mate Date’ at Issho, where we delighted in the finest sushi and raw salmon cuts of ‘over ice’ sashimi, with large delicious ‘prosecco pours’ with bamboo mats, wasabi winks and really magical lighting in one of the most glamourously trendy new spots in Leeds.

I love Issho. It’s always great! Through the day, on an evening. It’s wonderful. The food is divine. The vibe is peaceful, sophisticated, yet stylishly cosy. And as the staff tinkered around us, pouring us fresh bubbles, and making sure our dinner was delightful, we chatted about life, love and where we thought we were headed over the next few months….I adore a good chick dinner out. A bouji one that is. 😉 It was great because I’ve never really hung out with JUST ‘Hustle Barbie,’ over dinner before. There’s always been everyone there. And when you hang out with someone on a ‘one to one’ basis, a layer of them peels away…and you become much closer, share secrets, enjoy laughter and learn about them away from ‘the show’ of life.

I had a really great time and I hope I do a hundred more sushi dinners with her, over prosecco, in great lighting.  I love getting to know people more closely and yeah…Friday was brilliant. We’re more similar than we ever knew and I admire her for it. She’s a really smart, ambitious yet gentle girl. She’s impressive because she’s thoughtful, fair and kind, yet someone who seeks more from life. She wants her happy ending…and we all deserve it! ( I mean GOSH, I even got to see her boudoir. She has a boudoir..

‘You’re making it sound like I own a brothel!’

Her home is spotless, almost like a ‘show home.’ As soon as her front door opens, it smells DIVINE and radiates style and simplicity. There was definitely a point where she came out of the shower however and thought I was sat on her cat Lol. I was knelt in her boudoir, bronzing my face in her big mirror, with my mini fur bag laid by my side. She walked in wrapped in a towel and thought I was sat on Rufus. Lol. Rufus is her glamourous ‘fur ball’ cat. )

Anyway, back to Leeds….

We had a whole bunch of gin in cocktail form, looked down at our phones and saw that ‘Firmonnell’ had found herself into Leeds with her chick friend bestie. She had no clue where she was, so kept sending us selfies and photos of her whereabouts and signs, after giving ‘train prosecco’ to a homeless person out of kindness.

So Hustle and I tinkered out of Issho, walked through the bouji Victoria Gate…and after the delightful elevator gentleman let us out to play under the Leeds night stars…(He couldn’t possibly imagine us walking up or down stairs, so demanded that we took the lift. Yet, i enjoy that there’s an elevator to the entrance of Issho, it just keeps life elegant…and easy. After gin, you want shit to be easy.)

Then we went to find ‘Firmonnell.’

Finding ‘Firmonnell’ was like an episode of The Crystal Fricking Maze. It was like the Matrix, where we were following photographed signs and voicemails across central Leeds, in order to be delivered to her whereabouts. And yeah, okay, we may have taken detours like a cheeky delicious Manahatta stop off, where we ordered Pornstar Martini’s, appreciated attractive humans and danced for Snapchat to the best tunes in all the land.  That might have happened, on our journey to find ‘Firmonnell.’  And we might have tried to stop of at the new ‘Neighbourhood’ bar, yet couldn’t because it was reservation night only. But in the end, we found her….at ‘The Roxy’ where the lager is poured and the beer pong is a played.

My feet KILLED by this point, THEY BURNED LIKE WITCHES GROINS and when we finally got there, turned around and saw her at the back bar all smiles and drunky, all innocent and light…it was almost a relief.

‘OH MY GOSH! FINDING YOU HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE. MY FEET KILL BECAUSE I’VE TOTTERED AROUND THE WHOLE OF FLIPPING LEEDS TO FIND YOU!!!!!’

We danced, we drank, we laughed, we giggled. Hundreds more people showed up. I think ‘Hustle and I’ tried to go dancing with ‘Firmonnell’ who ended up staying for Beer Pong.’ The Roxy is cool. I’m just a Victoria Gate girl. My feet stuck to things and we didn’t have change for the photobooth and I saw all these empty red plastic cups, all squashed and squished all over a beer drenched ping pong table, that might have had stains on from 1992. It kinda made me gip a little, so ‘Hustle and I’ went off to do dancing….and agreed to meet ‘Firmonnell’ later.

We never ended up meeting. But I knew that would happen. I know ‘Firmonnell’ well and I adore her because we just do our own thing. Lol. We’re ace and just get on with it. It’s how good friends are! Phone tig occurred and ‘Fibre’ was Hustle and I’s choice of jiggle. We had a dance we let loose for a bit, I remember some guy coming up to me because he had me on Snapchat. Then whilst ‘Hustle Barbie’ I were sat downstairs in the cave like toilets, across from giant walled mirrors, we knew Friday was done. She simply said, ‘shall we go?’

Just like that, with our feet a killing, a missed all from ‘Firmonnell’ and earlier than expected, we were in a taxi home. ‘Hustle’ got dropped off first and then my Taxi driver, who ha dno clue where he was going tried to drop me off IN BARNSLEY!

‘You needed to get off at Junction 32!!! WHY ARE WE AT JUNCTION 38!!!’

I got home. I crashed. I woke up the next morning bright and early and spent the entire day shopping, lunching and hotel nighting with my gorgeous little babies Ruby and Junior. They had an audition for a commercial, which they absolutely loved. They loved it as much as I loved chilling in Prosecco Pit Stop waiting for them to finish. J It made me smile. It seems ‘The Wunna Babies’ are actually a ‘thing’ now and like I’ve said before they’re getting offered a lot of opportunities, that I am NOW letting them enjoy. You only live once! Embrace everything that comes at ya! Plus, I believe that NOTHING is better than doing things with the people you love. So whilst I have ‘Opportunity Central ‘ going on in Wunna Land…which i’m really truly grateful for, they actually have THEIR OWN THANG going down….which I guess, on the whole, makes us lucky.

HOTEL NIGHT was wonderful. The kids LOVED IT! I loved it.  I mean, all we did was dinner, chill in our undies, snuggle in our beds and watch telly as a family, but it was BLISS. It was amazing. It was PERFECT! Almost a novelty because I treasure ‘down time.’ Time where in which I can all chill and relax without any worries, or stress. Time where no one can bother us or know what we’re doing. The kids loved it so much. That night, we had the best sleep EVER.

‘I love you mum.’

‘I love you tooo.’

Then as sod’s law kicked in, my phone rang, schedules were put in place. I had a last minute Sunday audition, They had a last minute Sunday audition.

We had to wake up at 7am, for Junior to get picked up by 8.30am…and Just like that…everything went back to normal…..

 

I’ve Got My Va Voom Back!

I’m passed the feeling of shitting myself and now i’m utterly EXCITED for my Friday! I had an evening that kinda made me feel really confident about myself…and when a girl feels that way, she glows, she radiates….I know i’m currently radiating because my world right now is filled with inboxes messages from exes, or previous husbands, or new guys with gusto and my strut is currently *paused* every few minutes by a stranger or an old friend giving me the wink. It’s not about the inbox fill up, or playful winks from strangers…as i’m ignoring them all politely. (I’m rubbish like that.) It’s all about the ‘GLOW.’ It’s the GLOW that we chicks get when we feel confident in our strut. I want all girls to feel it, every moment of every day. It makes us attractive. It’s sexy, because that glow radiates makes us super POWERFUL and no matter what ages, shape or size you are, nothing is sassier than that whoosh of of ‘ooh laa.’ (Boys will honestly be tripping over their willies as they pass you by.) Oh and FYI/ NOTHING IS BETTER than exes messaging you, who you now care nothing for, when you have that ‘whoosh’ of ‘ooh laa.’ I’ve looked at the message, said nothing and beamed with my ‘Cya, don’t wanna be ya dance.’ If a guy wanted you that badly, he would’ve made the effort to keep you and HEY, maybe not chosen another girl over you! Lol. I AM GLOWING.

Anyway, yesterday was great because yesterday was the day that my guy friend David (who’s currently auditioning for Celeb Hotels) decided to obtain a mattress from a granny, shove it in his boot and simply for banter because ‘Firmonnell’ told him to, place it on the top of ‘Fairytales’ car (her cream mini) and snapchat it to everyone.

Firmonnell: ‘I don’t know why it’s so funny. But it is!’

IT WAS HILARIOUS! This is how i know i have ace friends. Nothing is better than childish pranks. I actually thought that he’d only plonked the dirty mattress on her car for snapchat picture taking purposes….But no…it sat there ALL DAY.

Hustle Barbie: ‘Fairytale…Why have you got a giant dirty mattress on the roof of your car? ‘

Fairytale: ‘It’s still fucking there!!!!!’

Me: HHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I’m feeling cheeky today! I feel like i want to prank the world and just deal with the consequences afterward! Lol You’ve got to love a laugh. You’ve got to love a bit of banter. And it’s the simpliest things that crack me up.

Last night, after the babies had tinkered to sleep and my mum had come round to cuddle them…I had a bit of work to take care of, for my weekend. I’m excited for my Friday now. I was meant to blog, but instead, i walked down to ‘Ego’ for a quick white wine. I needed a chill, a nightcap and well i’m not really going to be able to have a drink tonight…as i’m sure i’ll be rushing about headlessly. (I’m also excited because i’m about to embark on what feels like a whole bunch OF TIME off work….which means i can fit ‘good times’ in and refuel.)

But anyway, I went to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth. I go all the time. I love it there. I love the staff there. It’s a good place to find me. I always go on my own for a chill and just sit at the bar by myself. Lol.

So, I obviously opened my last blog with Josh (the ‘Ego’ Bartender) who’s great! We chat well. And I love a bit of banter with him. Infact all the staff there are literally ace. It’s a good time. (I’m currently writing this topless and forgot I was topless…need to grab a bra. I don’t want spaniel ears for boobies!) Bottom line, I didn’t reckon he’d read the blog, or anyone he knew would…so he’d never find out that I wrote about him. Right? First thing he mentioned when i walked in was the fact that he featured on the blog! LOL. But he was happy about it. So it was all good. Made me smile. I mean, nothing is worse to me, when i write about someone and they hate that i’ve written about them. It makes me feel uncomfy. Plus, people should love a Wunna Land feature! Hahaha. What better place to have your name splattered all over the internet than here! 🙂 It’s a written word reality show. You CAN in real life, go to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth and find Josh the Bartender. You can all be a part of Wunna Land. My kingdom, not yours! 🙂

Anyway, it was great. I had a wine. I chatted to the staff as they tinkered by me. Some guy in a pink shirt stroked my arm and gave me the last part of his larger, whilst calling me ‘baby.’ I love being called ‘Baby.’ I call people ‘Baby’ when i love them. Didn’t love him. And didn’t really want the spit part of his drink. Yet, I thanked him anyway. (I’m good like that.)

‘Was he gay or straight? I couldn’t figure it out?’

Then randomly my old school friend Nathan, who was on a boys night with his teacher friend, who used to my football for Leeds or something found me at the bar and made me a part of their lads night. Nathan was 3 years below me at school and it’s always ace to bump into him.

‘Am I ruining boys night?’

‘No. You’re making it much better! We need to do this again. Lol’

We chatted school, fishing, Vegas, football, tits, dresses, tv appearances, LA and life.

‘Who can we force to get married, so we can go on a stag do to Vegas?’

I tried to force him to teach me how to fish. He tried to force me to go drinking with him. Josh wanted to live in a log cabin for a bit. And his footballer/teacher friend took off his wedding ring! Hahaha!

Boy banter is always better than girl banter.

Shit! its 7.30am! I need to get ready and GO!

 

 

 

 

 

It’s All About Life Magic & Vino

Rinalidi’s in Wakefield was great on Tuesday evening. Kinda feels like it was a million glitter years ago now, as life has swirled into a glorious, yet easy going ‘busy’ mode So much has happened. I’ve pretty much flittered all over the merry land this week, armed with winks, heels and charm. Let’s just say, I received the best ‘good news’ any little kitten could ever receive. The kinda news that fills your entire soul with a magical unexpected *gush* of happiness, a flow of exuberant glee. It shocked me, but meant so much to me because it pretty much made me cry. I trickled little happy tears and because it felt like a dream come true.

I feel really lucky right now and i’m lucky by nature, that’s for sure, yet right now I’m REALLY lucky and have no clue why? So whenever you hear people tell you (including myself) that things in work and love and anything in between is all only down to hard work, know that it’s not true. There is ALWAYS something more that is completely out of control that swirls through the air around you like magic and it’s that ‘ooh laa’ that is far more powerful that any kind of hard work you put in. (But do put in the work. Otherwise…well you’re foolish.)

But yes Tuesday at Rinaldi’s was great. The food there is actually delicious. Better than I thought it would be? The service was divine…even though everyone kept looking at me oddly whenever I scanned the room.It was almost like they had a private joke that I wasn’t in on. Lol. But again…it was great. I sipped a whisky sour, as I chatted about life, added wine to the order and delighted in my cabonara. Time zoomed by and before you know it, it was Wednesday and it was work time.

Everything’s busy. All’s a bustle. But i’m making time for all the things that matter to me now. I’m really balanced and i’m in control of the tinkering. I’m feeling WONDERFUL. Everything feels WONDERFUL. I never thought that I could feel this special. (And not in a weird ‘special’ kind of way. 🙂 ) However, I was shattered throughout Wednesday, as I just wanted my work day to be over. When I’m tired, i’m quiet. When I’m quiet…everyone thinks something is wrong. Lol. But it’s certainly not. It couldn’t be FAR from the truth.

On Thursday I headed down to London from Doncaster for a day of filming. I was so glamourous that all the way down. I literally smashed my head against the window continuously for an hour straight as I train napped with my mouth open. Lol. I love a good train sleep. When you’re travelling on your own for work, things are always boring. At least i got there in one piece…and ear wigged into other people’s conversations. (Some 17 year old girl who was very ‘Made in Chelsea’ was chittering to another posh boy about how her Daddy had just given her £10,000 for doing well at school. His Dad had also apparently given hi £10,000 also. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, then returned to my kitten nap.)

Ooh! Sorry. I’ve just reading my Whatsapp messages…Hang on…

But yes, filmed all day on Thursday. Really fantastic. Ofcourse i’m not going to tell you anything about it. Nothing whatsoever. 🙂 However, do know that I loved my time there and again, I can’t believe how much I seem to just be LIVING right now. Snippets of my life are currently so different and so surreal that when you piece them together, it’s almost unbelievable.

I guess, last year I dropped the jigsaw and this year I not only found all the pieces but I picked them up and pieced them back together  perfectly, yet with my fingers crossed and without a clue. Then that ‘life magic’ came in and gusted over it with love….and from that point onwards…THIS point onwards, as ofcourse I had a dodgy start 😉 I ALWAYS have a dodgy start I do them well……It  has been a dream. (I don’t even know what my chicks friends are thinking of it all? We haven’t really spoken about it too much. They’re just witnessing the change. I think we’re all just in shock. I’m in shock.)

‘You’re actually going to do this Wunna…’

Hang on…more Whatsapp messages….

Friday was a day of work and GOSH i was shattered  did that quiet thing again, but my heart was filled with love. I am BUZZING right now and i wish you could feel it. As soon as my phone *pings* my eyes shoot down to it and I beam. Things are great!

I’ve been in Doncaster all weekend with the babies. I’ve spent loads of time with them of recent and again it’s been wonderful. I mean GOD, this is the time where all those moments when i’ve had to miss the little things due to work commitment and money making, has finally made it worth it.  Love matters to me more than anything in the world. I write about it daily. And it’s funny because when you focus of love, be it around family, work or something more personal…something romantic, you have our priorities correct because it fills you with a cray BUZZ that is undeniably powerful and when you feel that way, you can conquer anything, you vibrate on a good energy…..I have that right no, that’s why i’m lucky.

But anyway, Doncaster for the weekend. My home town. I’ve been chatting to Shaun, who owns Prosecco Pit Stop. One of my favourite refuel stations. Lol. The kids even love it. They couldn’t be lovelier to me at Prosecco Pit Stop. Infact i think I owe them Prosecco money? Lol. Shaun is opening a new bar at Victoria Gate Leeds, where Issho and East 59th Bar currently reside and I cannot WAIT. I’m gonna champion that place like it’s home. I sat with him and chatted about business, the bar, PR and all sorts before I jumped on my 12.17 train to London. I’m very excited about his bar because he’s very excited about it. Excitement is contagious. I love it when people are passionate and moving forward with the things that the love. I hate it when people are pretentiously happy. We’re northern that’s not how we roll. It’s man to man, heart to heart.

OOh? I’ve just got a message from Jen in Paris..

‘Hi Christina! It was great to meet you in London. I have your clutch that you left in the room. It looks like it has some items you may need, including your drivers license… Give me your address so I can send everything back to you!’

Hahah. I’m such a shit. I love organised people.

Anyway, other than time with the babies, all weekend the best Whatsapp messages, lunch at Zest n Doncaster (I go with Ruby and Junior because they love the ‘press the alert’ button.) Afterwards we chilled it at Ego in Ackworth, (I go there all the time) and as always the service was completely AMAZING. They totally had an Arts & Craft bonanza table on Saturday afternoon and the babies LOVED IT. I mean, when staff sit with your bambinos and glue pigs to glitter boards, whilst you watch on and sip gin before the big ‘Mum can we go outside and run around…’ you know you’re in the best place ever.

I love a bit of Ego. You all know that though. I literally tinker across there always. Go there and you’ll find me with my salted rimmed margarita.

Anyway, I need to finish this wine and head off. I’m currently blogging from The Mallard in Doncaster, in the Frenchgate Centre.

Staff: ‘You haven’t been in here in ages.’

Me: ‘I was here yesterday? I was here in the morning dong wine before London trains on Thursday!’

Life is good and what I learnt over the last few days is that you really can have faith in people and they really will follow through upon the journey where their heart takes them. Some people will talk the talk and others will display the notion that Actions always speak louder than words.

I love you,

Chrissie

ps. Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Crazy Little Thing Called Happiness

If I could teach anyone anything about life right now, as I wink in at the mild age of thirty six… it really would be, to just always remember to only do the things that you love. Life is so glitzy and so short. It runs out in a blink. There will be a moment where in with you have a minute left and in that minute you will be helpless. That’s why we have this whole juicy life right here for us now and it is SO important that you don’t take the things that don’t really matter seriously and that you prioritize correctly. Enjoy it! Pop open the bubbles to it!

I sat in a room yesterday, full of glamourous girls. I love these girls! But I looked around that room and every single human in there was miserable. Not one person in that room wanted to be there and every single person in that room hoped for better times or could think of something else or somewhere else they’d rather be. We all get days like that and days like that are fine. We all pull faces and delight in a moan. Yet do note that only ‘Days’ like that are fine and a lifetime of such is quite seemingly dodgy! 😉

It made me think.

I’ve done a lot in my life and i’ve achieved a lot. I feel good about that. I’ve had my dream job and worked all over the world. My love life has always been shit. Great times. But not necessary paper perfect.  Yet, I guess that came with whatever time my career threw at me and i must’ve have been more insecure than I thought when I was younger also. That’s always hilarious. Yet, i’m older now and wiser. I’m confident. I’m beaming. To me love is everything…and i’ll get it right in the end. (Can you applause when I do!) If I’m honest, I get everything that I care about right…in the end. Lol

But yes, I looked around the room and not one pretty face was smiling….that’s how I knew that no one in that room was doing anything that they loved. It wound me up, because i’m an advocate for life, loving everything until it bubbles and just enjoying people, positive energy and the world. I’m not sure if it’s important to be grateful for what we have or to really go for what you wish for?

So I’m gonna go with this….Remember to only do the things that you adore. The rest will work itself out. When you do the things that you love, magic happens because you’re at your most powerful…because you’re no longer living in fear or doubt. You’re happy. Go for it. Why not? I’ll pour you a rum!

Anyway, away from the preach festival. *Hair toss…Pout* . I have the busiest weekend ahead of me. I’ve had to reschedule a lot, mainly because I over booked and well being a single my of my two ‘adorables’ isn’t easy at times. I have a lot of help and i’m so grateful for it. But still, now that i’m older and even though i’ve had success…I look back and remember all the times I didn’t make a ‘Sports Day’ or I couldn’t get to that ‘school show’ for Ruby. But I didn’t have an option. That makes me feel shit. At the time i was running on determination to succeed….there was just me and I had the babies….now that i’m in a good place….I’m trying to make it all right again. Don’t get me wrong, the babies and I are really close….it’s my own head that tinkers and then retinkers.

But yes, this weekend, I have baby graduations, then I have to hop onto a train to London to go meet by LA bestie Theo for afternoon fun and an 8pm dinner at Cafe Monico on Shaftsbury Avenue. Drinks will occur and i will be blogging and snapchatting my whereabouts. Then i’ll be home….I have pet caterpillars arriving..and i think i have a Liverpool stint if i fancied it, but i’ll probably just end up in Leeds for lunch, as I need to stop off at the Mercedes dealership.

The following week I have Manchester, good times and cocktails. Followed by the VIP Piccolino party in Sheffield and then the divine new sushi bar Issho in Leeds, I guess for the weekend.

All of this whilst blogging, working and being mum.

The idea is that I don’t stress out and just take it in my glamourous stride. I haven’t done anything about not getting stressed. I need to book a massage but keep forgetting. Instead, I threw one of my legs up on my bedroom window sill and did these weird pilates stretches…TOPLESS. 😉 You can get away with that when you’re an oldie. I couldn’t be arsed finding a bra.

I’m not sure it relieved much stress. But I certainly had a blast. Well I think I did? No Infact I might have put my back out? I may have broken bones. I mean GOD, If i’m going to end up married to a Toy boy one day I better get in shape. 🙂 Topless Pilates is surely a great way to destress?

But whatever…my boobs look good today! Do yours?

Have a good…Wait? What day is it?

 

 

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!

 

 

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

Image may contain: one or more people

It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.

 

 

Just because i’m chilling…..

This weekend is utter BLISS! I am on ‘CHILLS! And after what has felt like such a busy time…nothing has felt more DIVINE that this entire weekend of just doing NOTHING AT ALL.

BLISS!

I shocked myself up at six o clock on Friday morning. Literally jumped upright, with my kitty sheets wrapped around me because for some reason I thought I was late for work! That moment when I suddenly realised that I had nothing on, nothing scheduled, no work, no train to catch, no meeting to get to, no quick change and drive off, no city to romance, no worries, no stress….It was the most liberating feeling I had ever had!

I felt FREEEEEEEEE! An entire uplifting whoosh of glee glistened from the tip of my usually stilettoed toes…all the way up through my system and just beamed out of me like magic.

It’s THAT feeling that we all try to capture in life. It’ll spring up upon us, in glorious little ‘flitters‘ and those little ‘flitters’ be it in work OR love, we treasure so preciously, as they don’t jiggle are way as often as we’d like. But do know that these ‘flitters’ are special (I know they are) because no matter how busy, stressed, or how much of a bad time you’ve think you’ve had…hours, days, weeks, months of it….It only takes one tiny moment of a ‘flitter’ (you’ve snagged your dream job, you’re getting the rest that you needed, you got that ‘good news’ phone call, the girl or guy that you love, has told you that they love you back) to make you utterly BEAM and it’s when we BEAM when we are at our most POWERFUL. And that is the moment when we can conquer the entire world.

I’ve chilled. I’m still chilling. I’ve done schools runs. I’ve enjoyed quiet prosecco pours.I’ve had time with the babies..Junior did his first school ‘Taster Day’…Ruby and I have laid together in fields and talked life..

‘But what do I do when i’m older mum..like for a job?’

‘You do what you love…I’ve worked really hard and i’m working really hard, so you can actually do what you LOVE.’

‘Be a sexy lady like you?’

‘No.’

‘I’ll just sell ice creams then.’

‘Okay, good call.’

Then we just carried on doing life, as we laid back on the grassy field, in the middle of nowhere, one light evening and watched the clouds morph into… well she kept saying ‘witch’ but it definitely looked like a penis.

Yesterday evening, I messaged ‘Firmonnell.’ I always message ‘Firmonnel.’ She one of my closest chick besties and we can’t stop being absolute wankers to each other, because we find our banter far too funny. I keep signing her up to Wunna Land future jobs, because she’s just too good at listening to me spew out glittery all sorts and then organizing it all. I’m good at organizing OTHER PEOPLE. But i’m shit at organizing myself. I hate the ‘little bits.’ I just like it done for me. Lol. I tell ‘Firmonnell’ all my secrets and then help her out by not coming to her rescue and telling her that ‘I’d rather die or stroke dogs for 94 hours’ than ACTUALLY help her. 🙂  (I’m not good around dogs. I don’t dislike them. I just….dislike them lol…They seem so needy and I always have to pretend I really like them when they’re near me. Lol. I’m a kitten kinda girl. So yeah, dogs and farmyard animals…are not my favourite. I like humans.)

Anyway, i’m pampering, I’ve tanned, i’ve booked a massage, I’m being mum, I’ve sent great messages, to a great guy 🙂 …..It’s weird how a great guy can just pop up out of nowhere and without you even knowing *BOOM* you’re hooked…Other than that, i’m honestly really just chilling.

I have a really exciting JULY. I’m working with some great brands, doing some wonderful things. I’ll be travelling a lot and enjoying many a cocktail with you. The blog will become alive in July… that is why this chill weekend is so important.

Some of the stuff I have coming up…I’ll be at the British Style Collective. I have a press pass to the event and I’ll be situated at the Lambrini Bubbles bar having visits from famous faces, normal happy faces, all faces…and YOU! I have access all areas and whoever I meet will end up on this blog! So come have a ‘Brini’ with me.  I’ll be telling to the shows gossip via all my social platforms.

I’m filming….I Have a really great shoot. I meet Jack Parsons again on the 4th. I am booked out on the 2nd for a Podcast interview for a show in Chicago. There is a swirl of amazing new cocktail bars, that I have been booked out to visit. I’ll be headed to every GINO’s VIP launch night, as he opens each of his own restaurants. I’m also writing a book. Well putting one together, as it’s already written.

In August I’ll be flying away for a few days. And I will also be visiting some of your favourite football clubs and meeting a few of your favoruite footy stars…where they will be forced into playing a cheeky ‘Wunna Land’ game for all of you to view online. 🙂 Do know that the games are called ‘Cougar Rollie Pollies/ Spit or Swallow & The Referee’s a Wanker.’ I’m sure they’re very excited. NOT! Lol

The diet’s going averagely well. I started out great and well now i just keep eating all sorts. Lol. Same with the rest of the girls. They ALL snapchatted me the pizza that they were having for tea. Curves are in! Fuck it. We’re hot. We’re not slaves to a diet regime. (Code for ‘We’re weak.’) But whatever, I look alright for a thirty six year old, mum of two. I’m like an ageing Pussycat Doll. What could be better than that! I should get trophies are not being an alcoholic. Wait? I’m deciding if I am one or not? (I’ve decided ‘no’ because it’s not my fault if part of my blogging JOB is to have fun at cocktail bars. It’s work. 🙂 It’s hard work. 🙂 )

I’m odd to enjoy the sunshine!

Kisses,

Chrissie xx

(Photo by Chris Stevenson)