Grandma’s, Dick Pics & Birthdays

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Life is great right now. Everything seems to be slotting itself into the right place 😉 and even though i’m wishing for even MORE amazing times to come, i’m not feeling foolish enough to forget that right now, I’ve got it pretty good.

Yesterday, I got you all to ask me questions on ‘sex,’ on my Insta Story and you excelled yourselves. My story hadn’t been viewed as much in donkies years. Lol. But yes, sex is a big part of my 37 year old world, so I really loved answering your questions, simply because I think it still has a bit gummy ‘TABOO’ label, slapped upon it, when it comes to openly chitter chatter.

I’m a cocktailing Glamour Puss. If I know about anything, I know about ‘whisky sour’ dripped sexy time. 

(All was going well, until some sexual therapist woman, decided to hate on me.)

There’s plenty of room for everyone, so don’t try and elbow me out the way. I hate giving direct advice, because I don’t agree with telling other humans HOW to live. All I do is share and I do it by telling MY OWN story and letting people ‘take’ or ‘leave’ anything they want from what the hear.

Anything inspiring comes from MY OWN life experience and emotion and not from from a dusty old ‘Refer to Paragraph A’ textbook.

That’s a polite and glamourous way of saying…

FUCK OFF. 🙂

I’ve loved Halloween, but i’m glad it’s over. I might even light a few sparklers and get Bonfire night out the way, simply to hurry it up to my favourite time of year….

CHRISTMAS.

I’m a December born baby. I have a birthday on the 19th and this year is extra special because i celebrate..

10 years of CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 

I actually hit 10 whole years, earlier in the year. I think March?  But I didn’t want to celebrate being ace, in March. 😉  Instead, I wanted to give myself a big old ‘pat’ on the tequila back ON my ACTUAL birthday…so i’m gunna!

Wiggle.Wink. Hip Bump.

I was gonna throw a big old party, but I decided not to…Instead I’m gonna do it my own way..and you’ll find that out shortly. 😉

Strap in, Dollies.

(Wait, I feel like I need another 11.38am wine. Except it’s now 12.40, so I’m all cool and appropriate.)

It’s lil’ Sam Reece’s birthday today. He’s turned twenty six and it’s great. I’ve loved our paths crossing this year & our hungover Sunday morning snapchat banters.

He’s certainly the sexiest twenty six year old my eyes have ever seen, so I felt the need to post this pic everywhere. 😉 It’s a beautiful piece of art.

Ladies of the world, you can ‘thank’ me later.

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(Oh God. I’m sat in at The Mallard in Doncaster blogging. I always choose the quiet ‘away from absolutely everyone’ corner, but it’s got really busy. A grandma, is out with her grandson and is looking at me every three seconds. She’s doing that thing where her Grandson says or does something impressive, & wants me to acknowledge it also. Hahah. I feel under pressure to perform. Lol) 

This is not what I signed up for. Haha.

Now dudes are hounding my Facebook messenger and sending me photos of their genitalia. I don’t mind a dick pic AT ALL, if I know, and fancy the guy. I think it’s hot. It’s sexy.

Yet, I don’t like dick pics from strangers, at all. It’s just not sexy and not because i feel disrespected. Just because I’m not sexually excited by anyone, until they’ve managed to mentally stimulate me.

Flirt with my mind. Get in my pants. Simples. Haha.

Grandma’s. Dick pics. AND I have a tractor in my hand bag. I just can’t cope. Lol.

WHAT IS MY LIFE!!

Chick friend: ‘Can you not eat a chicken wing, like you’re giving it head please. It’s a family pub.’ 

Me: ‘And don’t I fucking know it! Hahaha.’ 

Right, I’m answering your questions on love & dating today. I’m moderately distracted because there is MADNESS going on around me. Lol.

I keep lifting my phone in the air and pouting to film by answers for you. People keep looking at me, like i’m strange.

I’ll give’em that.

HOWEVER, I do actually think that THESE DAYS, it is PERFECTLY acceptable to selfie take or film for your instagram in public. You’re almost behind the times, if you don’t believe that and frown upon those who do?

Anyway…

Head to my Insta Story and ask me a question on love, dating and relationships. ( @chrissiewunna.)

Thank you for following my life,

Chrissie x

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Life, Love & Really Bad Habits…

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Hope you’ve had a really wonderful weekend! I had the BEST family time with Ruby & Junior. We lunched at ‘The Clam & Cork’ in Doncaster. (I had the oysters, Ruby had the sea bass. I had to go buy Junior a boiled hot dog from a cart, by watermelons. Lol) We shopped. We loved. We picked out our Style Favourites at Primark. I’m a huge Primark fan So as a family, we couldn’t feel happier, to be sharing our favourite pieces with you.

Primark has hands down’ shown us a lot of love & for that, i’m absolutely grateful for! In my mind there’s no reason for anyone to spend an ENTIRE fortune, in order to LOOK GOOD or most of all FEEL GOOD.

There ain’t no shame in your Primark game!

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In Wunna Land, our expensive buys, are always a ‘treat.‘ I mean we spend a lot on ‘good times’ and great food. Yet, when it comes to fashion, and I LOVE FASHION, I love BEAUTY….we’ve signed up to ‘Primania’ with our hearts full of joy.

I’ve shopped there for years and now it’s time to celebrate it! 

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(I mean, what is life without a knitted rainbow cardy, right!)

Okay, so….

The start of my week has been blissful, up until last night. (We’re only on Tuesday. Haha.) Last night, I decided to balls things up, for myself, which I do quite often. You know when you just don’t prioritize something correctly and you therefore accidentally, let yourself down, because a niggly guilt meanders through your head. A niggly guilt that won’t go away because you temporarily hurt someone. That’s what I did. That’s how I felt. I’m okay now. I’ve got over it look…

Yet, a lesson has been learnt…and I guess, I need to break another bad habit. (This is all really good for me. I’m going through a really CLEANSING time, by accident. Lol.)  I don’t smoke. I won’t drink as much. I’m wearing chakra balancing beads. I’m crying to love songs by JLS.  Next i’ll be doing yoga on my front lawn, in eco friendly workout attire and stroking goats…

I don’t think so… I’m a glamour puss, not a hippie. 😉 I am actually quite spiritual by nature..throw me a pack of Tarot cards and a voodoo doll and i’m sound. 😉

But…

WHY AM I STILL LEARNING LESSONS AT 37!!

Anyway, there’s lots going on. my Insta story is on fire, right now, with views. Work is on it’s way. I’m in limbo. I’m waiting for a something to air on TV. I have loads of shoots. I’m waiting for my time. My moment. I’m loving being a mum. My love life is still rubbish. Well not rubbish. The guy that I went on the Manchester date with, is looking forward to seeing me again. So, that’s sweet.

(All last night, I kept drinking red wine and accidentally crying to JLS songs, because I missed ‘The Swirl.’ Hahaha.) 

I love being a girl.

To be honest, I’ve been quite hormonal of recent. (As you may have guessed?) But i’ve found that as soon as I ‘doll’ myself up, whop in my hoops and get strutting…I’m fine. I’m dandy.

Just getting on with it, is the best way!

I feel like something great is going to happen to me in the love department? Even if it’s not right now…The ending to my story, when it comes to love…feels like it’s going to be amazing. Like Life has been leading me up to something phenomenal. (She glues her ‘rosy tinted specs’ to her face.)

Everything you go through, I believe is for a reason…

I’ve enjoyed by path, as ‘colourful’ as it’s been…I’m ready for a Happy Ending. Surely, I deserve one, in both work and love, for crying out loud!!

I’m committing to everything. I’m throwing myself into everything. You get nothing out of life if you don’t commit to it. 

You’ll never experience the happiness intended for you, if you don’t ‘throw skin to the wind’ and just go for it. Survive the bad. Enjoy the good. Be it big, small or inbetween. Just live. Just love. Just be ALIVE.

In the end, you’ll KNOW why you had to go through it all…

I believe that…

(But I still believe in Santa and Fairies…so don’t take my word for it.)

Right now, I can tell you, that i’m really proud of the kids. Junior has a true heart of gold. He’s insightful and loving..Yet won’t let you push him around, when he feels brave. Ruby is ambitious and dynamic. She’s a tough cookie. She is every inch….well…ME. (I’m kinda feeling really bad for Pete, right now, because Ruby hasn’t wanted to hang out with him over the last couple weeks…)

‘Tell Dad, that I do love him. Everything’s fine. I’d just rather spend my time with you and Junior, mum…’

She’s almost outgrowing him…and she’s only 7.

Pete: ‘Chrissie, it’s depressing me…’

The babies have really got stuck into this whole ‘showbizzy’ malarky, by choice, before you all start……I’m kinda having to rein them in a little and make them concentrate on school…because they have so much going on in October. I can’t keep up!!

But I actually couldn’t be prouder of them.

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Life is good. I’m tired though. I’m looking after myself more. I’m stepping up my game. I’m adoring my beauty regime. I’m wanting to make my mark, now. I’m also wanting to fall in love. I wonder if ‘The Swirl’ ever thinks about me? (I think about you. I think about you a lot.) I wonder if The Manchester Date guy will try to pursue a future with me? (You were so lovely to me. You made me feel lovely.)

I’m concentrating on my career…and like I said, this time LAST YEAR…

I ain’t gonna be dropping no ball, this time…

Watch this space…

Wunna Land, is on it’s way UP!!!

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Dares For A Date, Road Beef & 21 Days..

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Today is ace. Sunday is always my favourite day. It’s like a peach and Malibu cocktail, with a tangy thong of ‘ooh.’ There’s a chilled sweetness to it, isn’t there?

I’m feeling wonderful. I’m looking better than I thought. 😉

*Purr Here…*

I can’t remember if I told you? But i’ve been breaking a bad habit? I might have said it on my Insta Story instead? But, without me going into it, because I’m weird like that (lol.) I’m SO open, about everything, all sorts, literally enough to make you blush and call a Doctor. HOWEVER, if I NEED to ‘conquer‘ something personally, that i’m gonna find a bit of a ‘TASK,’ I’ll always do it privately, under my ‘hush hush‘ brolly, like an insecure, oriental pixie.

(I’ll only tell a couple people, who I know won’t nag me about it. I hate ‘naggers.’ I’m too rebellious, once I hear a ‘nag.’ They get me all guns blazing, with my knickers in a tight, diva twist.)

Anyway. I’ve just passed Day 10, of my ‘breaking’ of bad habit & I’m really proud of myself, because I really didn’t think I could even get this far! Haha. FFs.

First Week Smashed. Ping off that bra and shout a Hail Mary!

I’ve said it before, it takes 21 days to break a habit…COLD TURKEY. (Use this when it comes to anything emotional, physical or mental. It’s a game of will power.)

21 DAYS!

I’m not far off now. So when I get to Thursday Sept 20th… I’ve done it. I’ve hit it. I’ve smacked it’s little booty and winked at it on the ‘naughty step.’ 

I’m actually going to treat myself after that. Like a reward for conquering a ‘glamour pussy’ demon.

What do they say?

‘Strength doesn’t come from doing what you can already DO! It comes from accomplishing the things, you never imagined you could conquer…’

Something, i’ve done all the way through my life. I always say, i wish you could see into my head and witness, all that i’ve seen all through my life.

(Currently getting a Flashback or riding down the escalator, outside Crunch Gym, on Sunset Blvd, in West Hollywood, with Joseph Fiennes, who was in town to film a movie. I think it was ‘Running with Scissors?’ He had a baseball cap on and was telling me he was Irish? Weird time to flash back THAT moment??) 

I was only a 23 year old kid. We’d been flirting for about a day…Lol.

You know what I’m like. I was all a flutter…He just probably thought I was fit…or cute…or whatever? ‘Road Beef’ is what I used to call my LA chick friend Jen. Hahah. (She used to always date these sportsmen. These athletes.  These American football players & Baseball Players.)

I’d always date an Actor, or a model…Yet, only because they were the ONLY guys around me, really….

Jen: ‘I’m driving to Anaheim today..I’m gonna go see him. He’s BBM’ed me.’

Me: ‘Haha. Don’t do that! You’re totally Road Beef. Lol’

(Even though I would do the same. I just wear my little heart on my sleeve and I always have. I like that about me though. I’d rather be that, than be incapable of loving. To me, that’s a travesty. A life without true love, is no life at all.) 

She’s finally happy, settled (Girls settle down much later in Hollywood)  and she’s just had her first gorgeous baby. I’m still…well..probably ‘Road beef’…But with a family…Haha.

I’m headed into a lucky time. A juicy time. A good time of work, excitement and new adventures. You know how much I love an adventure. My spirit is wild. I never want to feel tamed. There’s a lot of opportunity a brewing for us all and it’s making me feel delicious. I have a lot of news and I’ve changed everything around ‘personally,’ for it.

There’s something in the air, in Wunna Land, right now. The babies and I can feel it.

Even Ruby has a glint in her eye…

(She’s like a machine of magic, that girl…She’s grown straight into being….Lil’ Miss.Wunna, I guess? You wouldn’t think, but it’s kinda by accident, because I always encourage the kids, to simply BE THEM. But hey..If the crown fits? 😉 )

I will tell you, that I thought I was gonna have a quiet Sunday of putting my Depop store together. Yet, I got side tracked, because during my ‘Ask Me Anything‘ on Insta…a guy propositioned me to a GAME OF DARES….

I’m up for a dare. Why not? It’s life…

I came straight in…with a…

‘If you get my initials tattooed on you..’ (fyi, I don’t know this guy personally, at all..He’s a big Wunna Land Fan and I love that!) 

He immediately took the challenge,

‘I’m next in Thursday evening for ink, so I’ll film it being done, then send it to you…’

WHAT! WOW!

Then he came back and challenged me…

‘Ok, no problem…But then you’ll have to do my dare…’

If he went through with it….(Do know that it was just banter…I just said it to terrify him…But he wasn’t scared. Lol) I told him he’s win a date, if he did…and he will, if he does…

However, he would have to chose between DATE or Dare.

His Reply…

*Hit Play…*

SO, IT’S ON!!!

I love a challenge. I’m not backing down. If he wins, he’ll WIN A DATE. (Something that as a Wunna Land Fan, he’s requested for months.) If I win, he pretty much said…

We’ll see! Let’s play! I love that he had a sense of adventure. It’s yummy. More guys are scared of me, than they are bold, with me. I like it. There you have it. I’m playing ‘Dares For A Date’ with a Wunna Insta Story Fan.

Makes sense to me! Lol. Yay! SUNDAY!

What did you get up toooooo? 

I’ll be seeing ya! I’ve got work to do…

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Ps/ Junior got a ‘Special Mention Certificate’ on Friday at school. 😉 Miss. Murphy (who I love,) sent me a message, after reading my blog. (Our babies are in school together…) Her baby son Ray, told her, that Junior got called up for his mini certificate, but was too terrified to walk up and receive it. His best, school buddy friend, saw this and walked him up there, to help him feel bold. Awww! How magical! It melted my heart. It gave him all the confidence he needed. I love Miss. Murphy…He’s like the liquor in your cocktail..Not just the garnish. 😉

 

 

 

Trolling, Tales & Being a Single Mum

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Aw, I ‘tiny’ cried last night…as I watched my little boy, Junior fall asleep. The last words he uttered that night…were..

‘I love you so so much Mum.’

So, Junior finds the academic side of school, really difficult. He’s great at everything else. Just not with his literacy. Ruby FLIES. She’s like a whizz kid and excels at everything, above & beyond. Junior struggles to read and write fluently & now he’s older, he’s watching everyone around him grow & conquer their troubles. It’s really frustrating him. But he’s a being who keeps his real problems (even at five years old) to himself…

He laid in my bed last night, looking glum. I asked him what the matter was…

‘How’s school? Do you like your new teacher?’

Then for the first time, he really opened up and said…The room was dark and it was quiet…

‘All the words that my teacher is telling me at school, are really tricky. I’m finding it tricky Mum. I’m not good at them…and I think they only do tricky, at school. It’s really hard.’

(awww..)

‘Don’t worry baby.. The school already know you find it hard. I promise you, you’ll get it. One day, it’ll just happen & you’ll be able to read everything! You won’t even believe it! Everyone’s good at different things, and I know lots of things that you’re amazing at, so don’t worry…I used to be scared when I was younger and I never dare read out loud, incase I got things wrong….Now look! So no matter what…We’ll work through it all…’

‘I love you so so much Mum.’ 

Then he fell asleep…in my bed…as a tear trickled down my left cheek.

It’s weird isn’t it, when the people you care so much about, are privately struggling? The kids tell me everything. We’re such an open family. Yet Junior DOES find it hard to show his version of weakness…which I find weird? He’s only five years old? So, when he privately opened up to me, last night, it filled my soul, with joy and relief.

I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

A lot of people think they know, so so much about our little family…But what they don’t know is literally how close we truly, truly, are…and how we really couldn’t exist without each other. Our love for one other, runs so deep…it’s crazy! It’s fun, but  it’s intense. Lol.

My kids are SO emotionally grown because even though they’re only seven & five, they’ve been through a great deal. (I have also, therefore, I know exactly how to help them adjust. I know how to make them feel great.) So, in a way, and like all Mums, i’ve become their rock. They’re best friend. They’re light. They’re fun! The only person that no matter what, understands them.

I just got overwhelmed with emotion over Junior, last night…But he woke up a brand new boy…and that’s what my role as ‘Mama’ and bestie is.

Ruby: ‘Mum, I heard you tell Grandma about Junior being upset last night. I was doing that pretend sleeping thing, this morning…’

Me: ‘Just don’t mention it..’

She didn’t mention it, instead I watched her sneak off and totter into his room, half changed for school, where she then proceeded to make him laugh. He laughed so loud, he rolled on the floor in a fit of giggles..

Junior: ‘She always makes me smile.’

I think, I wrote about that, because I always want people to remember that i’m still human and that even though I’m ‘glamour pussing’ about. Y’know,dollying here, winking there and ‘living my best life’ as I selfie…I’m still just me and i’m still just a single mum, hoping to make all my dreams come true. Hoping that the babies live the most wonderful lives & hoping to one day fall in love…and be utterly treasured.

So, yeah, I’m working a lot, i’m shooting, i might be filming shortly. I’m running a business. I’m blogging. I’m sorting out my love life. My work life. I’m enjoying it all. I’m lucky as hell.

OH! God!

A couple of idiots decided to troll me last night on Twitter, simply because I influenced a bottle of water…Just Water UK. Owned by Jaden, Will Smith’s son.

YAWN!

‘Trolls’ are annoying because they’re never passionate about what they’re saying. (I like passion. A bit of Bazinga!) They’re simply ‘saying’ for a reaction. They try to find *niggles* in your manner, in hope to wind you up…in order to get a bit of attention.

Give you an example, I grew up being a Model, so people would assume that I care about the way I look. (And that would be true.) Therefore, they’ll go ahead and call me ‘ugly,‘ for kicks, in hope that I ‘bite.’ .

I don’t need to BITE, Honey!

I’m grown & laughing at ya.

The guy last night, was going on about the amount of makeup I wear…for no reason, just because he hates ‘Just Water.‘ He said he’d rather ‘drink his own piss’ than sip on my water of choice. Lol. (Beautiful.) Don’t take it out on me, because you hate water. And you can’t go on about how much makeup i’m wearing, when YOU look like you might need to borrow some! 😉 

However, it was just a ‘your ugly’ traditional (lol) jab.

Unfortunately for you, I made AN ENTIRE LIVING out of my attractiveness …So I’m pretty secure, when it comes to that department…In fact. I’m sorted, Boo. 😉

Byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee! Just Water for EVEREERRRYONE!

Why don’t you play ‘Just Water Uk‘ phone tag, with my kids also! They’d appreciate the engagements. @rubyandjunior (Head over to their Insta.)

Douche.

‘Trollings’ just a bad way to get attention. Especially if you don’t mean what you’re saying. There’s like 3 million others ways to get attention…like have a talent, maybe? Wear a bikini? Be a success? Save the world? Cure the sick? Marry a Royal? Go on an Island to find love? Be beautiful? Be bold? Be sporty? Write interesting stuff?

The list is endless..

Daaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrling!

A ONCE good friend of mine, who wanted to do well, be on tv and be some superstar blogger…once ‘trolled’ me hideously. She properly went for it…after we did drinks one time, because she got too hungry for a bit of ‘look at me.’ Well, she actually got her friend to go ahead and ‘Troll’ me, yet thought i would be stupid enough to not fathom the plot. (I’m not stupid. I’ve lived this life for decades.)

I actually said nothing and sat back…after the ‘trolling..’ (You kinda have to, even though you should be able to stand up for yourself.) 

Luckily, I didn’t NEED TO. I didn’t need to say anything because from the moment she posted..I reposted……and it BACKFIRED ON HER...

Hundreds of comments littered in, like wild, cyber fire, ALL in support of Wunna Land ..and it made me feel great because I didn’t realise I had so much support? Everyone had my back. All my friends had my back, without me having to NEARLY ask, for support.

It was overwhelming…

I never spoke to that girl again, even though she denied it…If i saw her today, i would blank her…and i’m not like that. There’s only 3 people in the entire world who I would blank. One will remain nameless, the other is Ben (who I used to date years ago) and the trolling girl…because to me, they’re just not good people. I can’t be arsed with that.

I’m all glitter…

In a way, that little ‘moment’ where she tried to embarass me for attention…did nothing but show ME how much support I had and therefore made HER feel even more insecure about herself.

That’s why trolling isn’t great!

I’m not weak, i’m strong. (Especially when it matters!) I’m good friends with life. We’ve been through a lot. You come at me…Life saves me every time…

I was upset that she would’ve actually, sat down and thought about it all. THEN, in her heart, go with trying and use me, in a thoughtless & deceitful manner, in an attempt to gain ‘look at me.’

Tut! Tut! Me no likey!

That was a rant…

I’m off now, i’ve gone on too much, haven’t I! Haha.

I’m headed to my insta to answer your questions. I’ve kinda smashed today. I’m waaay ahead of schedule and I likey!

All my love,

Chrissie x

 

 

Magical Christmas, Tequila Dance Banter

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Busy day! But worth it!I had a MOUNTAIN of work to shimmie through and not even in nipple tassles! I was absolutely shattered through most of it, as Ruby had decided to wake up every 3 hours all night, incase Santa was coming. Yippeee! It’s the beauty that all working Mums have to endure. Lol. Yet, I got on with it….and with a coffee spritzed *wink.* Working your day job and building your own personal empire, as a single, working Mum is so hard it’s hilarious. 🙂 However, being the glitzy bit of champion that i am, I reckon things are only as hard as you make them. Winners find solutions and all that jazz. I will also say that winners don’t talk shit either. 🙂 I hate it when i encounter ‘flakey’ people, who say they’re gonna do something but don’t. The little things don’t bother me. It’s just the big things that can make a difference. However, i’m not like that in any way. So, that’s something to do a ‘tequila dance’ for! If i can’t do something, i’ll just tell you and if i can…I WILL SMASH IT.

That came out of nowhere. But only because i keep having these flashbacks of my Hollywood times, where we (my friends and I)  all needed help and couldn’t find it ANYWHERE. Some people banked their dreams on people’s words, instead of looking for actions. I was one of them. Well hen i was a young 20 something anyhow…Yet West Hollywood and pavement pounding in a world of Entertainment, going from audition to audition, toughened me up and i caught on fast. Later on in life, as i grew up and did a it better, it reminded me to never let anyone down. OR to at least be honest when it came to my capabilities. *The gin and tonic is now getting poured.*

Anyway, away from that i’m actually feeling pretty good! It’s my birthday in EXACTLY SIX DAYS. I’ll be turning thirty six, which is hideous on all levels, but hilarious all at the same time. I don’t know whether i want a loud one or a quiet one. But i’ll celebrate the day i was born, as why not!!! If you can’t celebrate your birthday what can you celebrate. People always forget to celebrate who they are, the day they were born and the days like that that matter. But we’ll fricking celebrate everything else won’t we?

I’m excited for Christmas, as when you’re older, having kids makes Christmas time magical again. I get to relive the magic with Ruby and Junior almost every day through December and it’s such a marvel to them, that it makes every inch of my soul smile. I’m radiating this magical glow of giggly happiness. Just seeing their excitement for make believe and magic is wonderful. Its what dreams are made of.

Infact, I don’t know how any adult, without kids, celebrates Christmas? Drinks with friends, mistletoe kisses with the boyfriend? Family dinners with the in laws? It’s just not as magical is it? I mean what do you do, other than drink wine and mull around by yourself in a party hat with ‘Spice World’ on in the background.

But nonetheless, i really do hope you all have the most magical Christmas ever, regardless as to what you do? Or who you’re with? Or how you choose to spend it! As long as you’re doing what you want and you’re happy with the whole shabam, then surely it’s mulled wine flavoured  *can can* kicks all around.

Saying that, as much i as I adore Christmas, I won’t lie, there was a part of me today that wished that I could *blink* and find myself floating around, in a neon inflatable ring, with my sunglasses on, the sun blazing down on my little kitty tan and with an eye watering, fruity umbrella drink in my hand and a handsome pool boy galloping around me asking me if i needed a cocktail top up.

I only needed it for a *blink* which means i must be happy really. So what if it chucked it down in Pontefract today. We have friend egg Haribo Chistmas lights above us and if that doesn’t make life perfect, then i don’t know what does! 🙂 I hate it when it rains on me when i have to go to Greggs to buy a pasty. Nothing is shitter, than doing that scrunched up run, with your head down and a a scowl face on…whilst holding a steak bake.

Infact, no, i’m wrong…DOING A STRETCHY ARMED WEE ON A PUBLIC LOO, TO KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED is shitter. 🙂 That’s really put me off Tiger Tiger hasn’t it! Lol. I’m going to Gino D’Acampo’s new Leeds restaurant next week, to give it a try and swirl out a blog. They’re excited for me to go, which makes it all even more ‘giddy’ for me. I like it when people or venues are excited for me to show up. i get all juiced about it, as it turns it into an adventure for me.

I bet they have PERFECT LOCKS on their toilet doors there! 😉