Skating, Mate Dates & Winter Wonderland Banter

After a delicious Saturday of Christmas shopping and lunch with my two little babies, Ruby & Junior, on Sunday morning I found myself stood outside Westgate train station, at 10.14am, in a giant white faux fur jacket, jeans and rust coloured knee high boots (by JustFab.co.uk) waiting for David to arrive. (I’m just gonna call him David…because it’s his actual name and I can’t be arsed to type ‘Jonesez’ all the way through the blog.)

He’s late. (I hate late people.)  He’s been up all night, partying. (I’m too old for late.) He’d pulled random girls with his guys friends, the evening previous….and well he’d probably had about 2 hours sleep in total. Lol.

Me: ‘Where ARE YOU?’

David: ‘I’ve lost my house key! I’m coming…’

ME: ‘Hurry up. I look like a prostitute! I’m stood here and all these strangers keep talking to me…’

David: ‘I’m on my way…I can see you…When’s the train??’

ME: ‘In 14 minutes and no you CAN’T  ******* see ME! Don’t talk…’

David: ‘I’m here. I’m here…’

But yes, I was stood outside Westgate train station, with mini Prosecco bottles in my hand bag and stripey paper straws. It was freezing. People kept chatting to me…and by the time he got to the ‘I can see you, I only live 2 minutes away’ train station…We’d missed our train. He hadn’t even brushed his teeth, he was in black ripped jeans and a leather jacket….but he was ready to get his ‘skate’ on, in the name of Wunna Land.

Me: ‘You’re disgusting.’

David: ‘Shall we get coffee…?’

Anyway, David (who’s a friend i’ve known for ages now) and I had agreed to go Ice Skating, because well… i’m going to be learning to skate shortly and I just fancied having an ‘open air’ skate around, for jolly old kicks.

Our choice of ‘open air,’ skate around was ‘Yorkshire’s Winter Wonderland’ in York. So, we’re really excited.

It’s now 11am. He’s hung over. I’m drinking prosecco through stripey straws. It pretty much explodes on the train and well…on top of all that….. what we find is that WE ARE REALLY RUBBISH AT TAKING PUBLIC TRANSPORT.

Now, i’m super independent and usually pretty good at all this jizzle. With David…I’m not.

It honestly felt like we had taken 3 trains, 42 buses, a stroll, a boat and maybe a donkey ride… to get to the Ice Rink in York.

We couldn’t even find our way out of the train station.

‘Shall we ask that man?’

We’d both hadn’t been on a bus for decades,

‘What do we do?’

But we needed to get to the Ice Rink.

I must’ve asked every single stranger where to go and what to do? (David daren’t ask people things. He’s used to be ‘Mummied.’)

Then after chats about our love lives, a call from one of my other guy friends, who I can’t tell you about just yet, but like I said, you will be learning a lot about him in the New Year….

Other end of call: ‘Don’t worry…It’s not another shocking call. It’s good news. Not bad..I need your help…’

…We finally found ourselves 3 minutes away from Yorkshire’s Winter Wonderland.

Got off the bus. Should’ve drove. We couldn’t even find our way to the ice rink? But we did it in the end. David’s sweet, but he’s childlike. Usually if i’m with a guy friend, or even someone i’m dating,  the guy will usually take control of the ‘what toos,’where toos’ and ‘how tooos.’ Even when i’m with ‘The Girls,’ (we’re all feisty by nature,) we just sort things out.

Like I said, in the end…We got there …and once we did, the ‘trek’ didn’t matter…. we came ALIVE.

Shoes off, skates on…

Me: ‘Mine don’t fit me? They’re too big?? I’m not…’

David: ‘I’m shitting myself now. I’m not stable?’

(You always second guess yourself before you’re about to shimmie onto the ice.)

Then after a wait behind glass doors, we were lead onto the ICE, like figure skating champions. 🙂

OH MY GOSH! I cannot SKATE FOR TOFFEE! I was terrible!

Little ‘Twinkle Toes, Skating Champ’ David *zooms* off like he skates for beer tokens.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, shoes and outdoor

I step onto the Ice Rink, looking like the QUEEN of all glamourousity and within THREE ACTUAL SECONDS, of just stepping onto the ICE, I FALL ON MY ARSE AND CAN’T GET UP! Hahaha!

Toddlers were skating around me, like I was the biggest loser and even the staff are giving me pointers on how to ‘get started’ because they felt sorry for Me.

David’s skating around like some ice born Hero. Like he’s ‘Torvil and Dean’s’ love child.

I’ve fallen down about 40 times. I’ve got a wet patch on my bun, I’m screaming and swearing all the way around the rink and David’s now pissing himself at the fact that he has to hold my hand and DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAG me across the ICE, simply so I can move.

I’m still screaming, swearing and falling over….and all of THIS whilst he’s trying to teach me ‘ice skating moves.’

David: ‘Try this on one leg…’

Me: On one ******* LEG!’

David: ‘My arms actually KILLS NOW, from hauling you around.’

Me: ‘Snapchat it for me… I’m not even trying now, because I know you’ll pull me around. Lol’

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing, shoes and outdoor Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing and outdoor

David: ‘You’re making ME fall over.’

Me: ‘My legs kill. I’ve had enough now.’

I cannot even TELL YOU how much my legs ACHED after forty five minutes of ‘learning to skate’ with David. How ANYONE copes with being a figure skater is beyond me???

 It is the HARDEST THING EVER.

I had to inappropriately get into another little Oriental girl’s ‘personal space‘ and make like I wanted to hug them WITH ALL OF MY WEIGHT, simply to be able to GET OFF the ice safely.

I fell into David and he didn’t know where to catch me, because he didn’t know of any ‘gentlemanly places’ to grab me, during my fall into him. Lol. He’s sweet, bless him! He really helped me around the ice.

‘I didn’t know what to do? I didn’t know what part of you I was allowed to catch…?’

How anyone does anything sporty or physically demanding for a living is beyond me.  I give them all the respect in the world.

Honestly, I  have NO CLUE how any single HUMAN… learns a routine, swizzles around smiling….and zooms by in lycra and sequins, lifting other human beings, above their head… on flipping  ICE????????

On ICE’ to ME, means being handed a frosted glass of prosecco….NOT SURVIVING a lap… on blades… with Bambi legs.

I’m definitely not a natural. BUT, I will be! (As of tomorrow night, i’m in training and I couldn’t be more excited! My entire body aches from the weekend.)

We definitely had fun at Yorkshire’s Winter Wonderland.  It’s great for a skate around. It’s definitely a good time. I mean life is about doing things, making memories and even though i’m a rubbish skater, at least I can now ‘tick’ that box, with a ‘Yeah Baby.’

I definitely can’t move today. But it’s definitely the most fabulous work out ever!

It was hilarious because the ‘open air’ ice rink was filled with happy skaters and beautiful families.

There was Christmas music playing. Rides! Lights! A Grotto! Penguins! Everything!

AND ALL YOU COULD HEAR from 2.17pm onwards…. was ME swearing and screaming, ALL THE WAY around the RINK! Then apologizing for swearing and screaming, ALL THE WAY around the rink, as David wee’d himself with laughter and my rubbishness.

Me: ‘I won’t even have to FAKE falling down for attention. I can’t even stay on my flipping feet!’

We didn’t last the full hour of skating. Fourty five minutes and I was done. I made him  go skate around by himself because I was too shattered. I needed wine. He was still brimming with a ‘puppy dog‘ energy. (I’m 13 years older than David, so everything he does…to me….seems boyish. But his soul is good. He’s sweet. He’s a good friend. He takes care of people well… It’s such a good trait. It’s honorable.)

We eventually got off the ice. We had a cosy vegetarian dinner (David fancies my chick friend who’s now Vegan…SO he’s trying to be a veggie to impress her.)

Then, as day turned to night, we discussed good and bad at sex…

‘Yeah but they don’t look like they would be good at sex.’

‘I know they’re not, because they don’t have it ever…’

I bought wine. He bought water. He taught me skating. I taught him life.

Me: ‘What a girl will go for in a guy, is sometimes what she is missing from her own life… And also…I need to look at a guy and feel inspired by them….I’m impressed when i’m inspired… I respect them for it…’

Then we tinkered back onto the train and almost within a wink….we were both, on our way back home!

‘Are we in Leeds yet?’

‘I don’t know? I can’t see??’

Biology, Ice Rinks & Prada

I definitely sat in a room today, with each one of my girl besties and took part in what I would call a somewhat glamourous ‘biology class.’ ou would never have thought that I was the product of not ONE but TWO Doctors, as Biology, has certainly never been a forte of mine. However, now..I feel much better, because the rest of my chicks friends are even more SHOCKING, when it comes to the rules of science.

So in the group….Some of us have had babies. Some of us… have not. I noticed that the ones who haven’t quite yet produced ‘Mini Mes’, didn’t know how or where babies come from? Lol. Yes, they’re all grown twenty something adults. 🙂 Glamour Pusses, to be exact. All ambitious. All driven. All hard working.

It went a bit like this..

‘Well, they say that if you have a baby later on in life, you’re more likely to have a boy, because more girls are produced by accident.’

‘Wait! So girls are becoming extinct???’

‘No, You’re just more likely to have a boy.’

‘Yeah, but in school we learnt about the X/X chromosomes and the x/y chromosomes, which would mean…’

‘I didn’t learn that in school…’

‘Wait, so I can only get pregnant, two days of the month?’

‘It’s weird how people just fall pregnant after a one night stand…’

‘You’re period has to be regular…’

‘Well i had an ovulation app…and i lived by it…’

‘Where do babies actually come from… Like i don’t actually know??’

‘Yeah, but Double B isn’t on the pill and she…’

‘She never has sex…’

‘It’s SCIENCE! OBVS!’

Then we quit playing ‘biology,’ as we had better things to do with our time. (Surprisingly.)

Mel decided that she needed to see a Doctor and an Optician all in the space of three hours, incase she had a brain tumour.

Mel: ‘Fucking’ell. I don’t want an injection in my eye. I’m having to go to Pinders tomorrow! Is it normal for Opticians to touch you?’

Me: ‘What d’ya mean, touch you? Lol. They do get close to your face.’

Fairytale: ‘They have too!’

Mel: ‘He was fit anyway…It’s just a bit weird that…’

 

Then ‘Fairytale’ and ‘Hustle Barbie’ decided to indulge in Kurt Geiger boot drama.

Fairytale: ‘These aren’t as comfy as they were in the shop.. I just wanna go home me…’

Hustle: ‘Well yeah, because everyone else has tried them on in the shop. I just need good boot for Budapest on Saturday.’

And ‘Firmonnell,’ ….my very best chica ‘Firmonnell’…dyed her hair pink. 🙂

(Haaaaa H’HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! What an idiot!)

Nothing makes me more delighted, than the fact that she tried to dye her OWN HAIR BLOND and instead she managed to lift her pretty head up from the sink and find that it was PINK. (Well, I say pink. No. She says PINK. It’s not pink. It just glows pink from a blondish head of hair.)

‘IT’S PINK! It’s fucking PINK.’

‘It’s really not.’

‘I thought i’d just go to sleep, let the world take a turn and wake up in the morning to see if i’d like the colour. I laid in bed for about 3 minutes and like a lunatic was back in the mirror to see if it had magically changed colour. If Double B was here, she’d tell me the truth. She’d tell me that I looked like i sold…’

Moderately dramatic. Yet, I love it when she’s all drama and evil. That’s why we ALL get along. ‘Firmonnell’ and I are on a really good banter stream with each other right now. Our banter, cannot even be competed with.

Firmonell: ‘Ooh, it makes me feel so good! I can feel the evil running through…’

Me: ‘…my soul.’

Anyway, fifty little pounds later and a £90 cancelled booking, ‘Big D’ (her delightful husband, who was probably sick of her moaning) had found her a trip to a rather bouji hairdressers, to change her life ‘back to blond.’ I love ‘Big D’ for that. He scores HIGH in the ‘Husband stakes.’He’s doing EVERYTHING RIGHT, right now. Where’s my ‘Big D???’ Wait! Hahaha. That sounds so rude!

Yipppeee!!!

Then I got bored and started Googling Prada. Shoes to be exact. Not because I particularly need any. Just simply because it makes the world a safer place. We’re committing to all things that makes us happy, right? Like the mesmerizing glow of the Dior makeup stand in ALL department stores…scrolling through the Prada or Jimmy Choo website….just makes me happy.

Then our guy friend ‘Jonesez’ who definitely needs to find himself a girlfriend, decided to make loving assumptions, as he carefully strutted passed each one of us, with caution. (He’s like a thoughtful, annoying, little brother to us all. But we love him madly because he buys us sweets.)

To Fairyatle: ‘Can I have some of your lip balm? It’ll be like we’ve kissed then.’

(Reply: Why are you so weird?)

To Me: ‘Yeah. I’ll definitely go ice skating with you. It’ll be like we’re on a date.’

(Reply: It’s not a date dude.)

To Hustle: ‘I thought you said *give head* then.’

(Reply:  *BLANK*   )

He’s such a Love Bunny. He can’t even help it! He’s cute! 🙂 To be fair. He’s a nuisance. But he’s fun and probably one of the most thoughtful boys ever.  We love him really.

But away from all that. I’m really busy. I’m trying to book a stay at a Forest Cabin, for the week before Christmas. For Ruby, Junior, my Mum, Dad..you get the picture. The Wunna’s.

I’ll also have a birthday around that time. I’ll be blogging from the cabin, through that week. It’s one of my favourite places. I haven’t booked it just yet. But I’ve been chatting back and forth with Forest Holidays all day today, because the cabin that I wanted is so popular, that it’s already booked up.

Firmonnell: ‘You can’t just have people chucked out of a cabin for you. Lol.’

Me: ‘ No. I know.I’m not trying to… I just…STOP TRYING TO RAIN ON MY PARADE!! Lol.’

I’m also trying to find a place where I can ‘open air’ ice skate during the festive months? Have Millennium Square in Leeds stopped doing the open air ice skating thing or something? I wanna go with the kids. I wanna go with my friends. I need it in my life and it’s nowhere to be found?

I was under the fond misconception, that it always appeared, as soon as the whole German Market affair tinkered to light? I’m wrong! I’ve fantasized about ‘open air,’ Christmas ice skating, in Leeds. Now, my dreams are shattered. 🙂

How can I have a ‘open air’ ice skating birthday, if there isn’t anything to skate on?

‘No! I don’t want to go to an ice rink. It has to be OPEN AIR!!!!’

(Lol. I’m feeling quite high maintenance today. I’m flipping demanding cabins, Prada and ice skating rinks. It’s the girls, they’ve evoked my inner Diva.)

But yes, it’s a busy time of merriment for me, or any blogger really, right now. I’m headed into such a fun season. It’s my favourite season and it’s so much better than Summer, because there’s an emotional warmth to Christmas isn’t there?

It’s not just a bikini pout, a poolside sun lounger and a instagram pic of you and an inflatable flamingo. There’s a magic to this season. A real magic. And this magic meanders around, until every single one of us, smiles and enjoys a warm apple cider, tinsel dripped December.

It’s that ‘magic’ that makes us feel good and when we feel good…. we can conquer the world!

Girl Banter, Wine & Dance Routines

Firmonnell: ‘I just love it. Whenever I hear it, it makes me feel like I want to make up some kinda dance routine. Haha.’

(We’re in our thirties…this is not normal.)

Me: ‘Lol. That’s exactly what I said, when I first heard it?’

(Because i’m just as immature.)

Double B: ‘What song is it…?’

And unfortunately for life, Firmonnell and I proceeded to perform the song..well attempt to sing it for Double B, just so she could get which song we were on about? We’d totally forgot what it was called? But it’s that ‘Instruction’ song by Demi Lovato.

Double B: ‘What song? I don’t get it?’

(Her 21 year old ears don’t even work.)

Me: ‘We’re not even singing it shit!!! GOD!!!’

She finally got it. Sanity was restored. The world became a shimmie and well she might have delivered the sentence…

‘Get on my tits’

…as she Sumo Wrestler, knee bended, during the ‘morning part’ of the day.

Then i wished we had prosecco. Kisstory played on in the background….and Russian Roulette was the only game that our phones would allow us play.

Nights out were reconfirmed. Liars were worshipped. Then the girls decided to imagine what i’m next wedding would be like. All the laughs. *Rolls Eyes.* 🙂

Firmonnell: ‘We would be in the SLUTTIEST bridemaids dresses that anybody would have ever seen!!!’

(Who said they’d be wearing dresses? I might make them adorn their crotches with fig leaves, or a single peacock feather. Naked isle strutting! Wahey!)

Double B: ‘I want you to walk down the isle and do an outfit change half way down…I want your first outfit to just slip off your body magically, to reveal your second outfit…Hahaha.’

Me: ‘Hahaha. It’s like the Britians Got Talent Bloopers! I wanna walk to the top of the isle, forget to look at my husband and strike a pose for a  selfie… just for ‘Insta’ likes.’

We had a great day. I was surrounded by the best chick click ever. I’m so lucky. I love my girl besties. But we totally gave zero fucks today and laughed off all danger with sarcasm, lies and should i get that ‘coconut, chilli chicken salad today’ questions.

Sometimes in life, you just have to give zero fucks about things. Have fun. God! We’re a long time dead. If you can’t cut an atmosphere with a burst of good times, then you certainly are not living right.

Then ‘Hustle Barbie’ saunters in, all glamourous, hot and blond. She’s off to her fancy dress party tomorrow night….as ‘Sandy from Grease.’ Luckily she’s going as Sandy, when she’s all ‘skin tight leggings and hip wiggles’ and not the crying in a giant nighty version.

Do remember that in that movie… when Sandy’s all pure and demure,  ‘Zucko’ pretends to not give 2 shits, as he’s far too busy ‘pussy wagonning’ with the boys. Yet when she’s all Sassy and ‘look at me bitch’ he’s all of a sudden got ‘chills that are multiplying’ and a boner that will love only her forever. Interesting!!!

Anyway, back to the story….I got distracted! I’m not sure what happened, because I was just rocking from side to side on an orange swizzle chair and not listening to anyone in my turtle neck, but Double B, did state that ‘Hustle B’ would be totally fucked because see was certainly about to meet someone, where in which the ability to ‘sign language’ would be an absolute must….

Double B: ‘But you don’t know sign language, so you’re just gonna have to make it up. Lol. Is that a dictionary?’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Eww! No…It’s eyelashes.’

Welcome to my world.

Then as I continued to swizzle about on a chair and not listen to much, as ‘No Scrubs’ played on the radio and no one could find a pen… Firmonnell retold the story of the moment Double B sauntered in and looked…well she described her as this…

‘She came in like a 1920’s washer woman, no face on, her skin transparent…and with a messy top knot in. Hahaha. She looked like someone from Downtown Abbey…but who lived in the cellar!’

Hahahaha. I love that!!!!! You know you have great friends when you can refer to each other as cellar gremlins.Just a great day!

Not sure what else happened? Aside from Firmonnell deciding that she didn’t like her hubby ‘Big D’ in a vest…Apparently the only way she can get him to not wear one is if they have sex…

‘At least, he’d take it off then.’

Hahaha.

YES! I’m all for her ‘let’s have sex so you don’t fashion crime around me’ policy. Why is she not Prime Minister?

To be honest, my day ended up being a long one, a busy one, a stressy one…You know the score… I’m just glad it’s the weekend! I’m so excited for peace. I’m gonna chill, enjoy family time, have a wine and write the rest of my book. (It’s out in the New Year. I’ve had people read extracts and apparently it’s rude but okay.)

I mean, on the whole i’ve had a good day, it just ended mentally, which doesn’t help relaxation mode.. I just wanted to get home. I couldn’t wait to get home. But if we (the girls and I) didn’t see adult twins in matching outfits, the cast of Gangman style, a young wannabe ‘heart throb’ use our window as a ‘hair doing’ mirror and a weird dude in an S & M biker hat and nipple vest walk by…I don’t know what we would’ve done all afternoon?

As soon as I got home, I stripped down to comfies, adored my little babies, ordered in a ‘take out’ and watched a motivational video that my Mentor sent me.

Unfortunately i have a short attention span….I like short bursts, rather than long winded stories. Which is weird because I tell long winded stories on here constantly. Lol. But I kinda watched the beginning and fast forwarded it to the end.  🙂 That’s how impressively studious I am. It just got too dramatic and boring. I just don’t need a shouty American to tell me to be driven. I AM driven. I just do it my way…which is calmly… with a cocktail. My eye is NEVER not on the prize. Don’t get it twisted. I’ve not done that bad in life. 😉

I even sent the video on. have no clue why? I just felt like it. But it seems that if you’re already driven and already successful, you’re not too arsed about a motivational video because you don’t really need one. If I can watch it and be bored, then I must be in a good place.

Right…I need wine…

 

 

 

It’s All About Life Magic & Vino

Rinalidi’s in Wakefield was great on Tuesday evening. Kinda feels like it was a million glitter years ago now, as life has swirled into a glorious, yet easy going ‘busy’ mode So much has happened. I’ve pretty much flittered all over the merry land this week, armed with winks, heels and charm. Let’s just say, I received the best ‘good news’ any little kitten could ever receive. The kinda news that fills your entire soul with a magical unexpected *gush* of happiness, a flow of exuberant glee. It shocked me, but meant so much to me because it pretty much made me cry. I trickled little happy tears and because it felt like a dream come true.

I feel really lucky right now and i’m lucky by nature, that’s for sure, yet right now I’m REALLY lucky and have no clue why? So whenever you hear people tell you (including myself) that things in work and love and anything in between is all only down to hard work, know that it’s not true. There is ALWAYS something more that is completely out of control that swirls through the air around you like magic and it’s that ‘ooh laa’ that is far more powerful that any kind of hard work you put in. (But do put in the work. Otherwise…well you’re foolish.)

But yes Tuesday at Rinaldi’s was great. The food there is actually delicious. Better than I thought it would be? The service was divine…even though everyone kept looking at me oddly whenever I scanned the room.It was almost like they had a private joke that I wasn’t in on. Lol. But again…it was great. I sipped a whisky sour, as I chatted about life, added wine to the order and delighted in my cabonara. Time zoomed by and before you know it, it was Wednesday and it was work time.

Everything’s busy. All’s a bustle. But i’m making time for all the things that matter to me now. I’m really balanced and i’m in control of the tinkering. I’m feeling WONDERFUL. Everything feels WONDERFUL. I never thought that I could feel this special. (And not in a weird ‘special’ kind of way. 🙂 ) However, I was shattered throughout Wednesday, as I just wanted my work day to be over. When I’m tired, i’m quiet. When I’m quiet…everyone thinks something is wrong. Lol. But it’s certainly not. It couldn’t be FAR from the truth.

On Thursday I headed down to London from Doncaster for a day of filming. I was so glamourous that all the way down. I literally smashed my head against the window continuously for an hour straight as I train napped with my mouth open. Lol. I love a good train sleep. When you’re travelling on your own for work, things are always boring. At least i got there in one piece…and ear wigged into other people’s conversations. (Some 17 year old girl who was very ‘Made in Chelsea’ was chittering to another posh boy about how her Daddy had just given her £10,000 for doing well at school. His Dad had also apparently given hi £10,000 also. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, then returned to my kitten nap.)

Ooh! Sorry. I’ve just reading my Whatsapp messages…Hang on…

But yes, filmed all day on Thursday. Really fantastic. Ofcourse i’m not going to tell you anything about it. Nothing whatsoever. 🙂 However, do know that I loved my time there and again, I can’t believe how much I seem to just be LIVING right now. Snippets of my life are currently so different and so surreal that when you piece them together, it’s almost unbelievable.

I guess, last year I dropped the jigsaw and this year I not only found all the pieces but I picked them up and pieced them back together  perfectly, yet with my fingers crossed and without a clue. Then that ‘life magic’ came in and gusted over it with love….and from that point onwards…THIS point onwards, as ofcourse I had a dodgy start 😉 I ALWAYS have a dodgy start I do them well……It  has been a dream. (I don’t even know what my chicks friends are thinking of it all? We haven’t really spoken about it too much. They’re just witnessing the change. I think we’re all just in shock. I’m in shock.)

‘You’re actually going to do this Wunna…’

Hang on…more Whatsapp messages….

Friday was a day of work and GOSH i was shattered  did that quiet thing again, but my heart was filled with love. I am BUZZING right now and i wish you could feel it. As soon as my phone *pings* my eyes shoot down to it and I beam. Things are great!

I’ve been in Doncaster all weekend with the babies. I’ve spent loads of time with them of recent and again it’s been wonderful. I mean GOD, this is the time where all those moments when i’ve had to miss the little things due to work commitment and money making, has finally made it worth it.  Love matters to me more than anything in the world. I write about it daily. And it’s funny because when you focus of love, be it around family, work or something more personal…something romantic, you have our priorities correct because it fills you with a cray BUZZ that is undeniably powerful and when you feel that way, you can conquer anything, you vibrate on a good energy…..I have that right no, that’s why i’m lucky.

But anyway, Doncaster for the weekend. My home town. I’ve been chatting to Shaun, who owns Prosecco Pit Stop. One of my favourite refuel stations. Lol. The kids even love it. They couldn’t be lovelier to me at Prosecco Pit Stop. Infact i think I owe them Prosecco money? Lol. Shaun is opening a new bar at Victoria Gate Leeds, where Issho and East 59th Bar currently reside and I cannot WAIT. I’m gonna champion that place like it’s home. I sat with him and chatted about business, the bar, PR and all sorts before I jumped on my 12.17 train to London. I’m very excited about his bar because he’s very excited about it. Excitement is contagious. I love it when people are passionate and moving forward with the things that the love. I hate it when people are pretentiously happy. We’re northern that’s not how we roll. It’s man to man, heart to heart.

OOh? I’ve just got a message from Jen in Paris..

‘Hi Christina! It was great to meet you in London. I have your clutch that you left in the room. It looks like it has some items you may need, including your drivers license… Give me your address so I can send everything back to you!’

Hahah. I’m such a shit. I love organised people.

Anyway, other than time with the babies, all weekend the best Whatsapp messages, lunch at Zest n Doncaster (I go with Ruby and Junior because they love the ‘press the alert’ button.) Afterwards we chilled it at Ego in Ackworth, (I go there all the time) and as always the service was completely AMAZING. They totally had an Arts & Craft bonanza table on Saturday afternoon and the babies LOVED IT. I mean, when staff sit with your bambinos and glue pigs to glitter boards, whilst you watch on and sip gin before the big ‘Mum can we go outside and run around…’ you know you’re in the best place ever.

I love a bit of Ego. You all know that though. I literally tinker across there always. Go there and you’ll find me with my salted rimmed margarita.

Anyway, I need to finish this wine and head off. I’m currently blogging from The Mallard in Doncaster, in the Frenchgate Centre.

Staff: ‘You haven’t been in here in ages.’

Me: ‘I was here yesterday? I was here in the morning dong wine before London trains on Thursday!’

Life is good and what I learnt over the last few days is that you really can have faith in people and they really will follow through upon the journey where their heart takes them. Some people will talk the talk and others will display the notion that Actions always speak louder than words.

I love you,

Chrissie

ps. Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

Image may contain: one or more people

It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.

 

 

Love, Life & Hero’s

I’ve had a really great day. Yeah, gosh there were parts that felt extremely looong, (and you know I hate ‘loooong’ anything. Be it stories….queues…..I even don’t get why sausage dogs are long? They creep me out.) Yet after a *blast* of ‘sat next to each other‘ sarcastic banter with my deliciously darling chick friend Firmonnell….and I LOVE A GOOD DASH OF BANTER, my faith in life, good friends and good times was not only restored, but heightened. (We’ve planned ‘doing drinking’ when everyone does worky social things. Lol)

‘I should be due on soon?’

‘I should be too? But i’m not..’

Firmonnell is utter GREATNESS when it comes to girl banter because I can…well WE CAN …HONESTLY rip each other, everyone else and the world to absolute hysterical, glittery shreds, in the name of absolute good humour, without a single censor and you need that, otherwise everything’s all ‘fakey’ and ‘smiley’ and not very hilarious at all. You know you are good friends or lovers ( I look for that in guys when it comes to romance) when you can handle a good old banter see saw! She can say whatever she wants and I will never judge her. I can literally say WHATEVER I want…and she will be the last human on Earth to judge me. That’s what I adore about her.

Yet saying that, I’m astounding LUCKY because all of us girls, in The Wunna Land circle are so SO close…yet ALL SO entirely different…that we just get along swimmingly. There’s a lot of real love between us. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together, we’ve lied for each other. 🙂 And it’s having that wonderful circle of genuine support that not only keeps me grounded, as do note, that I am going through a bit of a showbizzy time right now. I have a lot of dazzling’ bits and bobs’ a going on…and I feel really lucky. Yet having the girls around me every day, makes me focus on the things that matter..and not get lost in a egotistical flare of ‘look at me’ idiocy.

I’m a REALLY confident girl. An honest girl. A sassy one, yes, but a warm one. I’m tender. I’m fun. I’m kind. I’m not a dick. 🙂 I grew up being a model, ended up on a reality show and found myself being doing life as an infamous blogger and a business woman. (How hilarious. LOL.) I’ve worked hard. Yet still…it’s crackers.

I always say that my decade in Hollywood taught me how to ‘hustle.’ How to survive. How to celebrate glamourisity, yet be tough emotionally. That’s both in work and in love.  I’m soft, but not stupid. Even if I play it. I learnt EVERYTHING the ‘Hollywood’ way, so i’m probably one of the most savvy chicks you’ll ever meet. I just do it with charm and a smile. It was a great time and in that time I again made some close close friends for life. Note, that in m circle of LA friends…we were all flipping struggling…and now…right now…we are ALL doing superbly in our fields of entertainment. Two of them have their own show. One is a movie producer. One is a movie star. The other a famous rapper. It’s crazy! We were roommates and we all used to piss ‘before they were famous’ Maroon Five off (who also said they were going to be stars 😉 ) by being drunk neighbours.

But anyway, I learnt focus and making ‘dreams come true’ there, in one of the most toughest places of all, where everyone was out for themselves….It served me well. I smashed it. I can now smell bullshit in a second. But i’d never embarrass you. I’d just nod and let you get on with.

However, I will say that I learnt values, morality and unconditional love…y’know…true respect…all that good stuff, from my family. I LEARNT ALL THE THINGS THAT MATTER. The things that give you worth as a human. I have the best parents and had the most loving upbringing….and even though i’m 100 percent Burmese, (which makes me exotic and magical and very Oriental,) there’s this good old ‘down to earth‘ simplicity to me, that you could only learn in Yorkshire. I’m grateful for that. That never left me. I don’t get lost in showbizzy nonsense.  I control it. I’m a really stable chick. Even when i’m wild. Don’t get me wrong. I am a bit of an EGOMANIAC. A sexy one. I know i’ve done well…or that i’m doing well…I’m aware of the buzz. I don’t like to be treated badly be it in work, just in places, or in love. I’m cocky. I’m playful. I’m not beige. I hate beige. YET, at the same time i’m weirdly so chilled and together.  I could out glam a the finest luxury in all the land…then just kick in my my comfies, whilst sharing a Nandos with ya.

ANYWAY …this is where my friends come in…AFTER MY TIME IN HOLLYWOOD….and during THIS TIME where life for me is changing massively…I AM REALLY LUCKY, because I don’t think that many people in my current situation can actual sit down and say, I have THE BEST CIRCLE OF CHICK FRIENDS EVER. They could say they have ‘Alright Acquaintances,’ or ‘Usey Friends‘ or not very many real friends at all. I have the opposite. They’re ace. They keep me focused when I need to be, as they remind me of how lucky I am. YET, all that keeps me grounded, so i’m not an absolute dickhead…because let’s face it…there’s hundreds of ya’ll. 🙂 I don’t suffer fools well. But i’ll tell you with such grace whilst offering you a cocktail that you’ll forgive me and courtesy. Lol. I know some really great people. Not just the girls. I have really good friends all over. I mean, I asked one of my closest friends advice today and she’s in Bermuda. I love her. I remember all that time when I was going through my divorce and I was brave facing it. She could see through the ‘royal wave’ and the forced smile…and the next morning I received something in the post from her…that to this day means SO MUCH. (Thank you EMS!! 🙂 )

‘I don’t think she’s used to people actually caring about her, who don’t have to…be it friends or guys…..70 percent of them fall for *Chrissie Wunna* ….and not just this Burmese chick from Donny, named Christina. When she finds friends or guys who adore both…she treasures them.’

By nature, I’m someone that cares about people, lives and others…a lot more than they maybe deserve…and when I say ‘deserve’ I mean these are the people that haven’t done good by me…The good thing is that i’ve grown out of that. I’m thirty six and raising my own family now. I never focus on the bad past bits. It’s unhealthy. Instead I’m excited for all the good that I have to look forward to in the future. I’m beaming.

Today, if I learnt anything I learnt how important love is to everyone. I asked every single one of my friends around me about their love lives…and they delivered their versions. Each one of them *glistened* with glee as they reminisced and told me stories of how they met their husband, boyfriend, or just boned a date. Lol.

I’m a sassy one. But i’m a hopeless romantic and let’s face it, life hasn’t served me well in the love department at all over the years. But i’ve always been hopeful. I think i’m a bloody good catch. Lol. I’m sure guys have always understood me incorrectly. They’re approach is always odd. I’m someone that believes men should be brave and chase their hearts desire and do it with their romantic foot forward. I’m a girly girl. I LOVE ROMANCE. Yet i’ve had years of just idiots, with a operate their ‘wooing’ via a ‘think they know’ version of me. It came to a time that made me believe that I would never get swept off my feet by some Knight in Shining Armour.

It doesn’t matter who or how the girl is….every chick wants a ‘Hero.’

 

 

 

 

Cocktails, Banter & Love History

Double B: ‘Yeah but you’re always hung over on a Saturday…’

Firmonnell: ‘I still come in and DO WORK. Anyway, fuck off!!! YOU CAN’T TALK when you’ve once walked into work looking like a 192o’s DISHWASHER!!!!’

Double B: ‘Chrissie? Is this YOUR passport?’

(Shows me a passport of a young Chinese man…)

‘…just thought it was you without your weave in…’

Me: ‘LOL. Why are you ALL dickheads??? Anyway, shut up, i’m texting… Potter says he’s *got me sussed…?* What is he even on about?? Got me sussed? Like i’m some kind of …’

Double D: ‘Look at you. You just love all the attention. You need it now that you’re old..’

Me: ‘What the actual fuck! Leave me alone. Leave me in my granny corner to be old and quiet.’

Double D: ‘It’s just banter… GOD!!’

Me: ‘Hmmm…well I don’t like it. I’m sensitive…’

There is a *PAUSE*

Then as I peeked at Firmonnell via my little kitten eye..we literally burst into a hysterical, mid blowing belly chuckle! A chuckle so hard that we literally flung our heads back and maybe did LITTLE WEES in our Ann Summers/Bridget Jones frillies.

I have the greatest chick friends…they sort of worship me and ground me all at the same ‘abusive’ time. 🙂 You need your life soldiers. Ya chicks in heels. We support each other to the moon and back and even though we banter away with inappropriate humour, sassy tongues, tears or tantrums at times…. (It’s just what ‘us northerners’ do…) Alongside that, we build each other up so greatly, that there’ll never be a page in our diaries that reads, ‘I just never felt good enough..’

This chapter of my life is the changing chapter, yet it is currently a GREAT ONE. I’ll always remember it…Sort of like I remember my first ever LA chapter…when I arrived at LAX with nothing but a suitcase and my fingers crossed, as the warm air hit me. I also remember that in that time…I fell in love…It ran through my mind as I drove home yesterday after work. I haven’t spoken to Mikey (who was my first husband, when we were kids in LA, trying to be future success stories) and i’m someone who’s always really great with my exes. I’m apparently always ‘the one that got away.’ *Rolls Eyes.* I’m joking…Lol…I’m good friends with a lot of my exes and I do mean JUST FRIENDS. Not all of you though. Some of you I really do think are utter planks. 🙂 You know who you are…*POINTS FINGERS.*

Anyway, I thought about that time merrily because it was such a pure time before the birth of ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ so to speak. I was so innocent then and in that time I couldn’t have met a more perfect ‘team mate’ to do life with. So even though we don’t speak…and I there’s a HUGE STORY to tell…There’s years worth of stories that no one will ever know about and I don’t tell the stories because it kinda overlaps with certain things, that were going on in my life at that time…and well I respect him enough to keep it bundled as a silent ‘memory bubble,’ that we’ll both have.  We didn’t quite get the correct closure…I’d say. One day, when I see him.. I’ll get that. During that time, if we didn’t go our separate ways, he certainly wouldn’t have become the success he is today…and well…neither would I. We were young and to be honest it’s kinda the Hollywood way….

But yes, as I drove home yesterday early evening, I smiled because during that early LA chapter, I kinda looked back and thanked him for making me feel like the most loved girl in the entire world. He respected and treasured me. Some girls go through their entire lives never getting to feel that…I mean GOD, I don’t even nearly feel like that right now…But it was so important that it popped into my head because it reminded me of a very happy LA chapter (as it did go a bit dodgy from that point, but that dodginess was essential to my making 🙂 ) and it also reminded me that in life anything can happen when it comes to love…and sometimes it can just ‘Jack in a Box’ you out of nowhere. If you’ve felt true love, you can feel it again….and if you ARE single, be you young, in your 20’s, fourties or an aging, independent thirty something glamour puss 😉 know that there’s this AMAZING guy, who will pop out of nowhere and treasure you. One that you’ll actually fancy! I know!!! No, I haven’t had rum! You don’t have to wait it out..you just have to get on with being your fabulous self…and that imaginary Knight will gallop on in and sweep you off your fucking budget Louboutins.

I don’t know why i’ve gone on about all that, because that’s not at all what I wanted to chat about?? I was gonna tell you all about how important blogging was and how organised and feisty I am now and how I’ve become so focused. How I’ve decide to work with some amazing new brands. I needed to do my Laura Bartlett blog. ( I loved her.) How so much is happening and it’s all very exciting…work wise.

I mean, it all goes back to that meeting that I had with Jack Parsons. It put me in ‘check’ and organised me mentally. He has been one of the most inspiring people i’ve met so far this year, because he actually helped me. I need some help. Lol. ALL THE HELP. But no, right now, when it comes to my brand/business, I’m in a powerful place where I’m gonna need mentoring and at the same time so ‘big boys’ to step in and make Wunna Land MASSIVE. Jack is going to be good at this. I can feel it in my sassy bones. He’s on his way up to the stars and still has the ability to remind me that I can smash it. I’ll remind him of that when we’re both ‘chilling it’ on the Forbes list. 😉 At least he has an office. I want a fucking office!

But i’ll tell you all about work some other time. I guess my mind just wanted to tell you a love story instead?? FFS.

Hope you’re having an amazing weekend. I’m enjoying a really chilled one with my babies ‘Ruby & Junior.’ They rinsed me at the toy store, we’ve lunched and mocktailed at Ego, in Ackworth. (I go there a lot. It’s local to me.) I’m loving my weekend, as usually i’m dashing about having to ‘jump on a train‘ this…or ‘leap to the next platform‘ that. There’s not been much ME time or…well it’s all been fucking stressful. 🙂

Feeling chilled is my favourite…Maybe because by nature my soul is so WILD. When it comes to the days that I choose peace, I treasure them like those red flavoured fruit pastels. I’m happy. My kids are happy. Everyone i’m working with is happy. I’m doing well and now on a ‘not so ropey’ success ladder. I’m strutting up it like i’m Fred Astaire in tap shoes.

*Throws you a wink and a pout*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life, Sass and Naughty D’acampo…

I’m plate spinning and doing it sassy! Lots going on and yeah it can feel shit when you’re exhausted, but i’m lucky…and i’m happy because dolls…I got this ‘thang’ down now. One day…plate spinning won’t be as difficult 🙂 and when that day comes, I’m gonna kick off my sassy red heels, delicately pour myself a glamourous Aqua Riva Tequila (the purest tequila in the land..so pure that Coco Rocos actually TOLD ME whilst perched at a bar… and she created it, that it is the only tequila in the world that will not give you a hangover, because of it’s purity.The word ‘pure’ gives me a rash because it reminds me of virgins and GOD…yet, luckily when you shove Tequila on the end of it, it sort of becomes sexy. THANK FUCK.)

But yeah…I’m kicking off kitten heels and drinking pure TEQUILA and all that shit whilst I hold up my ‘Success Trophy’ and Google a Wunna Headline that reads that i’m worth ZILLIONS. 🙂

Anyway, I’ve been working hard…so hard that I passed out without realizing last night, in my full face, cuddling Baby Junior, as he clutched a boob after a burger. I need a Wunna office…a pink one with chandeliers…therefore I won’t have to dart across lands continuously…be a mother, a starlet, a worker and a champion all at once. I can sexily beckon people into my world and slide them a Prosecco as we talk creatively. I’ve noticed that i’m SUPER GREAT at creatively coming up with ways to market brands for other people…yet when it comes to me…I need someone to take that FABULOUS shit over.

I have THE BEST chick friends and the reason why I do is because the other day…well i knew already…but the other day I realized how ‘there for each other’ we are. We literally tell each other everything, EVERY DAY…300 days of the year…and let’s say, there was a moment the other day, where I asked for help because I needed them more than ever..and just like the Sassy Army of glamourousity that they are…and we’re all so open with each other…you should be jealous of my chick army…with a snap of their fingers,  a natter and a wink…it was sorted….I’d tell you what it was…but i’d get into trouble… so there. 🙂 I LOVE YOU GIRLS! They’re on my journey to ‘stardom’ with me, as weirdly it’s kinda only happened since they’ve come into my life…so they’ve watched everything develop, unfold and occur….right before their very eyes…and even though we all have very different lives and priorities…these girls have become my best friends.

YOU NEED AN ARMY LIKE THAT! One day, I’ll rope them all into working for me….We’ll wear heels and drink cocktails, Mel will scowl at people and Rachel with organise things in her headset.

(Our last conversation was about the cup size of our bra’s. Poor Webbo ..the guy in the office…had to sit through it and what Fairytale do a ‘I’m going to Monte Carlo‘ fashion show. She also said that she was going to have a sex toy party in her house and Mel switched it to a ‘candle party’ because she has too many toys. Lol)

‘Wow, this is role reversals…Fairytale is strutting about in red heels in her new house and wants a sex toy party and saucy Mel wants to buy candles…’

(The world must obviously be ending…grab yourself a life boat…it’s some kind of weird freaky life switch…. AND THERE’S NO GIN… Maybe i’ll switch with some goody shoed, quiet………..EWWWWWWWWW DULL….I can’t even type it.)

BUT WHAT THE FUCK! I HUNG OUT WITH GINO D’ACAMPO!

 

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Right, incase you all didn’t know, I am a huge fan of the Gino DAcampo restuarant chain. I wine and dine and chill there a lot. I went to the one in Leeds when it first opened, I loved it SO much that I wrote a blog about it…that blog was read by EVERYONE…to the point where it got sent around the staff the Head offices…you get the picture…everyone everywhere…(and I found it really funny, as it was sweary, cheeky and fun. It was authentic…it was very ME.) Long story short, I now have a Black Card for the chain and I’m a giant glamourous cheerleader for the brand… Simples. 😉

Tuesday….at Sheffield City Hall, I went to be part of Gino’s Live Show. I KNOW!!! As if!! I actally got lost on the way there and his perfect gentleman named Paul, who runs a record label, in his banana coloured shoes found me looking bewilidered and with a ..

‘Are you lost?’

Said,

‘I’m going passed that way, I’ll walk you there…’

Awww! How sweet! In that moment I was in love with Paul and his banana shoes. Kindness is sexy. He walked me all the way to the entrance…

‘I don’t know where the Stage Door is, but that’s the main entrance…What’s you blog?’

‘Chrissiewunna.com…Thank you so much. You’re my hero.’

And off he tinkered to do his own version of life! WHAT A LOVELY GUY! I need to bump into him again.

Anyway…I got to Gino…after winding through football hooligans and lines of people waiting outside City Hall to get a peek of the Italian Stallion. I was at and doing GINO LIVE.

If you didn’t know he’s currently on tour…and well…what a better way to promote a restaurant right, 😉 as he opens one shortly in every single place that hes touring! I love it! 😉

BUT WHAT A NIGHT! IT WAS SURREAL. The night was so great that I haven’t even absorbed it all in order to deliver it to you effectively! So without telling you everything…I’ll tell you bits. The rest will probably come out in other blogs, as I remember, as it is almost as if it wasn’t even real. As if i did Gino Live!

THAT GUY IS A STAR and I find him really inspirational. (The ‘Big Dude’ up above keeps plonking really inspirational people in my path right now..I have no clue why, but they’re circling me. Lol)

Anyway, I’m dead lucky, so before all the show started at 8pm I was with him all ‘behind the scenes’ backstage. We were on a stage and as I stepped forward to greet him with a…

‘It’s so lovely to meet you…’

He paused, looked at me with a warm serenity…and with smile and with gentle yet very direct eye contact, which means he’s pretty confident, shook my hand like he had known me for 100 years, there was sort of a ‘Daddy Vibe’ to him./a family Italiam warmth…and with a cuddle and pose for pictures  he said..

‘No…it’s really great to meet YOU…’

So, the show itself was wild and fun, tongue in cheek, filled to the brim with happy faces, there was madness, life, rudeness, comedy, laughter, love and an entire theatre packed to the brim with an energy that you couldn’t even buy. It was filled with SOUL. The place was wild yet so intimate.He created a bubble, an intimacy, that drew you into him like you were his best friend and not a fan, sat in a theatre. I watched everyone’s face, as I scanned the room. He even let any member of audience ask him any question throughout the whole show.

He’s a cheeky, naughty, sassy, sexy, tell it how it is, sweary, fun loving Italian show man. WHAT COULD BE BETTER. But he’s so down to earth and warm, get’s away with murder…I mean fuck, he fake snogged a granny, told one guy he was shit because he was ginger and would never get laid, said he’d eaten a ‘lot of fish’ in his time’ and laughed about it all the way…He pretend kissed girls because he ‘could,’ smashed open pasta on people’s bottoms, drank wine called ‘CUNTO’ and sang songs about how how much he loved his Mother. Lol.

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It was the most witty and entertaining time ever…Yet with all this…I told you there was a warmth, an appreciation for the people that showed up to watch his show, he was GENUINELY grateful, he told me…and with soul in his heart and a twinkle in his eyes…he gushed about how much he loved his wife…

‘I’ve been married to her for fifteen years now…She’s amazing. I couldn’t be with another woman, because no other woman would marry someone like me. She’s the most patient and loving woman in the world…We understand my role and she understands her role in our relationship…and that’s why it works…I love her.. If I was her i would ditched me 20 years ago.’

Swoon! I want a dude to say that about ME! Even if they don’t mean it. Say it, to me NOW! Say it! Say it!

Anyway, I’m in a rush because i’ve got to head to work…and i’m sat in my bra and no pants writing this on my bed…and i have Ruby to get sorted for school…

You should be inspired by Gino because he’s a guy that hasn’t had it easy, yet fucked that with a ‘Yeeehaa’ and made something of himself. He’s worth millions now, after being a 21 year old waiter who went around breaking into people’s houses. It changed his life…because he pulled himself together DID IT the right way! I love that! Everyone needs a story.

But he’s some Gino Trivia, that I found out before the show…

His real middle name is actually ‘SHEFFIELD.’ His favourite number is 71. His favourite place in the world is Sardinia. The most famous person he has ever met is Luciano Pavarotti.. If he wasn’t a chef, he’d be a Dentist. The thought of being an accountant bores him…He doesn’t support any football team…he supports his wife and kids…He doesn’t love the French. He’s outspoken. He’s lovable.

He is someone that looks as though he has a lot more to achieve. He ambitious…he’s going for it…and even though he’s already on top of his game…he’s got so much more that he wants to trophy! He is the most authentic personal brand that I have ever met. No one is like this guy and he keeps it real…He’s got his niche DOWN, yet certainly knows what he’s doing. But he’ll go for it and that is what LIFE IS ABOUT. What makes him a great personal brand because he has LIVED. (Like Moi.) You can’t fuck with the bastards that have lived, as we can do personal branding like superstars. 🙂 We’re smeared in raw love, openess, charm and swinery.

Shit, i’ve got to dash…Tell you more about it later.

If you haven’t seen the show…You MUST! There’s still some tour dates left!

If you have a Gino’s near you…GET YOURSELF A PROSECCO THERE. It’s my favourite place in Leeds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dating as a 30 Something & Gin.


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Today began in a more stressy fashion when taxi companies lied to me with ‘just around the corners…it’ll be five minutes.’ An hour and a half later, with big hair, the new Estee Lauder bronzer on my kitty cheeks and a change of work coats, I took matters into my own diva hands, called another company and got to work in fifteen minutes. Still late, which I HATE. If i despise anything it’s being late for anything, or people being late for me. 🙂 Yet with understanding words and an ‘in taxi’ resting bitch face that could win awards…things panned out alright, as hey…it’s Christmas…the season of working hard, playing hard and not letting the niggly shit that you can’t help get to you.

THEN part of my life was spent knelt on the floor, with scissors and cardboard, in jumper boobs and work trousers…as I wrapped a Christmas tree in tin foil, as onlooking colleagues mocked my existence and talents. LOL. I almost had a meltdown, as it seems i don’t have the patience for such Tom Foolery. Tin foil is not your friend. It hates you. But I survived it. I just remember looking up at ‘Firmonnell’ and saying:

‘Is this part of my life over yet?’

And hey..It was! Yipppeeee! So again…not so bad. At least i looked good doing it.

Away from that and with a hair toss…

I’m getting LOADS of messages in regards to my love life. You all want to know what’s going on and if i knew myself, i’d tell you?

Dating at 30 something is hard, be you a guy or a girl, as you pretty much have your life and ways set. SO SET that you become more choosy when it comes to letting new folk in to ‘do forever,’ with ya. Plus, 30 somethings are now looking good, making money and if they’re not already settled down and single, they’re either not bothered as life is dandy anyhow, jaded, or fretting about having no lover. It kinda goes in waves, doesn’t it? I know that I’ll dip in and out of each box…in heels.

I’m really great on a date, as i’m chatty and fun, sexy and…(i can’t think of anything else?) Yet, i will say sometimes, i’ll feel nervous and when i do (like i’m a guy) I’ll delicately and glamourously push a ‘panic button’ and a GIANT pink, transparent force field will slowly and sexily raise around me, until i feel 90% comfy. It can take a bit of beckoning from the other party….even if it seems as though i’m being more than confident. (I remember when I bumped into a guy in LA and I told him that I was a total loon and 90% a mess. I’d just gotten divorced. He looked, smiled and said, ‘90% a mess? That’s 10% all good honey, I’m in!! ‘ 😊 )

But moving on, as it’s making me feel weird…

I’ve said it once and i’ll say it 42 times, I AM NOT ON TINDER or any such sites. If you believe you are sexy chatting with me, on any random or popular dating site…you really are not. It’s not me.  I’m sure the Tinder version of me is much naughtier via written word. I can’t type dirty, i find it too hilarious. It doesn’t feel real, it feels more funny. Like a prank. Doesn’t mean that i’m not ‘naughty’ when i’m meant to be ‘naughty,’ so to speak. *Wink here.* I’m sensual by nature.  But no, i’m not on Tinder or POF or any of that diddly dum. I find it the most awful way find ‘true love.’ To me it all seems like ‘hook ups’ and unserious talking to people for no reason, or boredom. It’s dull. It’s definitely for some people, but for me at thirty five, with all my shit together, a bit of glitz, a whole lot of glam and a ‘Wunna’ tag, I see it as the most unromantic way to potentially find love. *SWIPE*

I’m a chemistry kinda gal. I need to be in front of  you face to face, body to body, mind to mind…with cocktails (ofcourse) in order to feel something more than ‘bants.’ I HAVE to be able to feel something. (That sounded fun. 🙂 ) To be honest, I don’t have enough time to Tinker on Dating sites. The easier a guy makes it on me the better. I don’t like boys that are too challenging. I like to get my own way. 😃 Don’t get me wrong, LOADS of my friends have found love on plenty of dating sites.Yet for me it just doesn’t work. I can’t be bothered. It’s dull. I’d rather be single in the city until Mr.Right taps me on the shoulder and smiles.

Plus, I have this theory that boys who want to date you tend to hide behind an online bravado don’t they? They can talk the talk, yet often are unable to walk the walk. I mean surely a real man would connect with you somehow, call you/message  you and then just ask you out on a drink/date or meet up. It’s called being NORMAL and being a GENTLEMAN. If they can’t do that…then they’re too scared and obviously need to sup a can of ‘Man Up.’ Why have men stopped being brave?

God! I went on a rant then and i have no clue why? I need gin. It shuts me up and refreshes me like a ‘Ctrl+Alt+Del.’

‘Spanish Doctor’ Whatsapp’d me today. It was bizarre because i had forgotten about him. I had to even think if it was even this year or last year when i met him? AGES AGO! I shouldn’t have met him really, as he only wanted to try and bone me, however silly me didn’t realize at the time and when i didn’t ‘put out’ he got narky. But i just couldn’t find it in myself to be attracted to him enough to want to get sexy…and I’m not like that. His personality sucked and it concerned me. Lol.  I remember being sat away from him, with my arms crossed pulling moody faces because I didn’t feel comfortable around him in the end. I know, lol! Very mature of me.  BUT IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD THE ABSOLUTE PLEASURE OF GOING ON A DATE WITH ME 🙂 YOU WILL KNOW THAT SUCH BEHAVIOUR DOES NOT OCCUR. Hahaha!

I just ignored his message. He’s a strange one…Yet he served a purpose as it was a time where in which i had come out of a relationship with Ben, who wasn’t really fulfilling my soul and I needed to just feel again, as my heart was just soaked in absolute utter boredom. I felt like a baby sitter. I felt like the guy in that relationship,

It’s weird isn’t it, because you have to be with someone who’s exactly GREAT for YOU. I was having this convo with ‘London Business Man’ the other day, in regards to him picking a chick to date. It’s like they can’t be so ‘cherry pie,’ as being a being like i am….it really doesn’t stimulate you. Yet they can’t be an absolute crazy nut job, always depressed or down or an absolute dickhead either. There has to be a balance where in which they’re a bit of everything, your best friend, expressive, fun, loving, thoughtful, but you are so physically attracted to them that your sex life is decent and you’re not just dull *high five* buds.

I’ve rambled. I’m off to have gin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ears, Anal & Sassy Nails

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Today’s been ace! I now have glitter gel nails. My nail ‘doer’ (and I go to Starnails in Doncaster) was hungover and had only had 3 hours sleep. Yet I loved her for still managing to show up to work and get shit done, even if she did need to puke, so it made me smile  and appreciate her AND let me tell you, my nails are ‘da bomb.’ I’m like their customer because I don’t treat them like shit. There is this one girl named ‘Amy’ who took my ‘nail doer’ out on the razzle with a ‘yeah, yeah get drunk, i’ll come work with you in the morning.’ Not only did she not show up,but she didn’t even wake up! Hahahaha. I adore a live for the moment girl. Amy rocks. (Unless, it’s happening to me ofcourse.) I’m the get pissed and show up girl. No matter what unless i’m SO ill, i ill be at work. I’ll storm through jungles flights if i have to. I once filmed an entire show that was going out to nations, after fighting in a kebab shop in London for my at the time Manchester boyfriend who wasn’t good at sticking up for himself at 4am in the morning. I got picked up by a bouji car from my apartment at six o clock in the morning and was on set filming by 7.30am. 🙂 I WOULD NEVER DO THAT NOW. I’D DIE. I don’t have it in me. Lol. But then…i aced it. He’s gay now. I think he just dated me because he was confused and thought i was more ‘fabulous’ than anything, at the time, as i had just freshly zoomed of a tv show and he wanted to be famous. He did write me a love note once, whilst i was in a taxi to Kings Cross from Camden reading,

‘I know it doesn’t seem like it, but when i’m with you my heart lights up with joy.

I remember reading that as my taxi drove me to the station. It made me cry. I loved it. 🙂 But yeah, totally not straight. We’d actually get along well now, as time and then some has passed. But he certainly turned into a using little bastard in the end. But he lives with Wunna guilt and that makes me giggle a little. 🙂 But i will say that he was fun and any chance that he had to stick up for me he would. But that’s the northern in him. And that’s me reaching for some kind of silver lining i think? Lol.

My ears have been popped all day. I’ve felt like i’m under water and talking really loudly at everyone. I did a catch up coffee with my Mum, which ended up being hilarious, as we’re both quite gobby and expressive, but the things we normally talk about are usually seen as ‘taboo’ with other humans, so nothing was funnier to me than the word ‘ANAL’ being repeated continuously, during our conversation in Costa. I have an ace Mum in the sense that i can say anything to her and she’ll laugh it off. We’re like besties. So when you sit down and watch a movie with YOUR Mum that’s maybe a ‘Rom Com’ or something a bit more ‘net curtains.’ MY Mum and I’s favourite film to watch together is ‘The Hangover’ Hahahah….because of the naked Chinese man that jumps out of the boot of a car and humps things and drunk hot men. LOL.

‘Why do you always go for the flashy ones Chrissie? Why don’t you go for the cute geeky one?’

‘A cute geek like you WOULD go for the cute geeky one Mum. But a glamour puss like ME, would always go for the flashy vain one. Hahaha.’ 

‘But the flashy ones might have herpes, want a dolly bird and even worse… want anal!’

HAHAHAHAA…I won’t even go on! DYING!!!!

Anyway, away from that i tried to unpop my ears by drinking Prosecco (any excuse) holding my breathe and swallowing. It hasn’t worked as one ear is still *popped* in. I’ve even danced to hip hop and done a Burlesque show for myself in order to unpop the madness, yet it hasn’t worked? (I’m not sure how i’m coming up with my remedies? Lol. But whatever, i don’t think any guys would mind. ‘Oh your ears have popped, let me burlesque for you!’)

You’re all asking about my love life. I’m not talking about it so much until i have something solid. Then i’ll natter to you a bit more. But it’s not so bad. There’s this great guy and i hope he thinks i’m great to. And that guy’s ‘Eton Mess.’ But we’ll see….

Anyway, i have takeout to order and a Desperado to drink. Y’know, right now, i’m really happy and i feel as though i have THE BEST LIFE EVER. It’s radiating from me and more than anything i hope it’s contagious. I couldn’t feel better if i tried. 🙂

Have a fun Sunday!

Thank you for following my life.