Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

Love, Sausage Rolls & Fox Onesies

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Well the Fox Onesie Selfie got out of hand didn’t it! My Facebook inbox went a bit silly and my comment list got a bit ‘excited.’ My Twitter tweeted and my instagram message box filed in all sorts. It was kinda meant to be fun, funny and a bit slutty. Lol. Not a way to beckon in madness. Yet whatever! I loved it! i was in a Fox Onesie. Some of you were lovely. my Ponte guy friends jumped to my rescue and you’ll always know who they are during mass ‘comment’ parades as they will be the boys that I always reply to beause i actually know them in real life. Haha. They’ve known me since i was 17, they see me all the time, we’ve all been out loads at some point about town. They’re great!They’re hilarious and will either make fun of me, themselves and well as it was today…YOU! But only if you’re being pervy or if you accidentally set yourself up to be mocked. Even my mum *jumped* in with ‘yadda yadda’ today. I think she called someone a ‘pervert’ because he’s Father’s friend and typed something that was moderately inappropriate! Lol. My inbox kinda made me ‘withdraw,’ as it terrified me off. My own doing…so whatever i can handle it. *Wiggle…Giggle.*

Anyway! IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE. I’ve been at work all day and Monday’s are hard for everyone. You kinda just have to get on with it don’t you and hope for the best. There’s no silver linings, other than being grateful that you made it through in one piece. Like i said, it’s a great day to be alive!

Today I held sausage rolls in the back of taxi as throwback hits from the 90’s played in the background. I also sent ‘Eton Mess’ a picture of the Lego Version of himself. I ate nuts by accident and i’m allergic to nuts, so that hasn’t been fun this evening. An alcoholic version of Santa, who was on the streets of Doncaster sat on a chair, with a rubbish beard on and sack full of cheaply wrapped £2 presents, gave my kids toy GUNS. (They’ve shot me all night, whilst i’m dressed as a fox, by a Christmas tree.) But i have a gin and tonic…and that makes me smile. I’ve actually done lots in this Fox Onesie. Lol. I even took a big blog business call with some executive…whilst I was on the other end of the line, dressed in a giant fox onesie. Life is good! I even have a fucking fur tail.

My facebook newsfeed has been filled with girls and guys rambling on about how awful their love life is and gosh i know that i definitely do that on occasion, but at least i’m funny with it. (And i’m funny with it because i’m REALLY not that sad about my love life. Lol. I’m not emotionally young, i’m kinda okay with being me and being single. They’re are fun parts to it and like i said, i’m one to wait until i find the right match, rather than waste on a mismatch. You’ll know when you find your match, as the connection will grow with ease. ) Young girls should concentrate on ambition and succeeding at what they want to do in life. Not crying over some tragical 20 something year old boy. Lol. Have fun! Lighten up! Enjoy Christmas. Be sexy! Own it.

I read this piece today stating that we apparently fall in love three times in our entire lifetime. It already put me off, as i had previously read that it was twice, years ago in some book about soulmates. But it says that we need each of the 3 loves for a reason…

The first love is the young teen love. It plays out in an idealistic fashion. It’s ‘fairytale’ and in this day and age, you’re definitely not going to stay with them forever. Lol. But the magic is that you ill believe you will. My first boyfriend at school was Dan (Danny) Shaw Town. He’s actually an amazing and popular artist now. Look him up. Great work. I loved him and cried on a loo when i was fifteen when we broke up. Haha.

The second love is supposed to be the hard love, it tests us, teaches us and makes us stronger. It shows us who we are, when it comes to matters of the heart, what we want and what we need in order to feel loved. (And when i’m talking love, i’m not talking about the people you end up in relationships with, only the ones that you have TRULY LOVED.) It’s usually unhealthy for us in the end, unbalanced and well the article said ‘narcissistic.’ Yippppeeee!  It’s the love that we wished was right, but deep down know it’s far from perfect and ‘ouchy.’

The third love is the love that we don’t see coming. It comes as a surprise, packaged all wrong, destroys the norm of what we thought would be peeking around the corner. It changes everything and fills our soul with ACTUAL love. That person that you never thought would happen, but did and you deep down love it. You try to avoid it, yet you find yourself right back there because it just feels right. It’s the one that lasts forever.

Now i don’t know how true all this is….and i never really overthink it, as i simply believe that if a girl goes about enjoying life, herself and the world, Mr.Right just finds her, falls in love with her and that’s it…sorted. I do however find the art of love interesting, yet never understand why people complicate it so much…as it’s the simpliest thing in the world ever.

I’ve had a great family night tonight. The kids are amazing. They make me so happy. I came home, to find that Ruby had got mad with grandad and therefore in a moment of rebellion opened every single one of her Advent calendar ‘doors’ and thrown the contents all over the floor. This year i had bought the children the calendar’s that have Playmobile toys in them instead of choccies and SHE KNEW that she wasn’t allowed to even start opening the calendar.

When i walked, in she was hiding on the stairs and i saw the mess, didn’t say anything and simply started putting each piece back in the box. My calmness confused her…so she poked her head around the door and said ‘Grandad said i could do whatever i wanted.’ (Then RAN off.)

I beckoned her back in and told her that i had put everything back in the calendar, like it was new. She looked at me sheepishly. Yet i didn’t have to tell her that she had done something wrong, because she already knew. She knew that I trusted she wouldn’t do what she did. I didn’t HAVE to say anything. I wasn’t even angry with her or ‘off.’ I just carried on.

She got on with her evening, we were all fine, playing, laughing, joking and then an hour later, she slowly snook up to me, when she was alone, gave me a cuddle and whispered ‘i’m sorry’ in my ear.

In life, you just have to understand people, what they do, why they do and deal with situations and in a calm, positive manner, before immediately coming up with solutions. If you trust people, you’ll find that they don’t always let you down and will in the end, whisper that ‘sorry’ in your ear.