Influencing Lip Balms, Nudey Balloons & I Fainted

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Mornings make me happy and they’re such an important part of the day because each time you wake up, (whether you’re fresh as a daisy, off to work, rolling some eye candy out of our bed, hungover, happy, worried, or dashing off with the kids,) you get another shot at doing life! It’s a whole new start! It feels good! We kinda take it for granted.

Just like that… everything could stop…So it’s important to remember to treasure and enjoy the things that you have… while you still have them.

Only do the things that make you happy, fall in love, take your chances, look good whilst your doing it and make your wishes and dreams come true. Build your career, build your family, never feel judged by what people think or say and live it with every inch of your soul.

(Why am I trying to sound like some life guru right now? 🙂 Let’s be real, I fainted last last whilst on the actual toilet at around 1am in the morning. Lol. Am I the only ‘glamour puss’ to ever do that?)

Now, before we all start getting in a tizzy and ringing all these panic bells. It was a comedic faint, not a ‘Call the Doctor’ faint.

My drunk chick friend had been snap chatting last night, before ‘shut eye’ and charger ‘plugins.’ 

Chick friend: ‘I’m only on 11 percent battery life now. I’m pissed. Mof sleep.’

Me: Don’t you dare wake me up, start all this *look at me, look at me, pay attention to me* thing and then just be like, fuck it i’m off to sleep, once i’m here! Lol’

I was laid in bed, fast asleep…happy as can be….and then my stomach started to kill….It hurt SO much, that I was trying to ignore it. I tried to pretend that it wasn’t actually happening, because ofcourse, when you do, and you close your eyes, whilst hiding under the duvet…it’s not! 🙂


When I was 19, the guy that I was dating cheated on me and I’d walked into his home and seen him in bed with a girl…that he had ‘boned’ all night.


At the time I was devastated…OFCOURSE! But now, at 37 and after doing moderately well in life, 😉  I look back on that memory fondly, like it’s a juicy, yet comedic little burst of Wunna life memory because HE DID the ‘close your eyes, hide under the duvet and pretend it’s not happening’ thing…and in that moment, he must have REALLY shat himself. Poor sod.

He went on to try and win me back. I moved to Hollywood and married a ‘movie star.‘ 🙂


How have I got this distracted!?! I’m meant to be telling you about my flipping tummy ache.

Hurt so bad (like that cramp you get in your leg that is uncontrollably painful, but just like ouchy bits of life, you have to go through it anyway…Lol.) I was trying to *swag* it out. When you *swag* something out, when no ones watching you, it’s really awkward and uncomfortable. 🙂

Got up, did a giant naked SPRINT to the loo, sat on the toilet and I don’t know what happened, but my whole body did this hot, cold, flush thing, all these yellow blurry dots, *fuzzed* over me, and I kinda just remember keeling over for a moment, losing m mind and feeling all hot and sweaty…

I woke up on the floor, after about a minute or so, right as rain, like i’d just watched a bit of telly, or had a ham sandwich…

Then I ‘naked’ walked back to bed and immediately fell asleep.

Why am I so WEIRD! THAT IS NOT NORMAL. No wonder I’ve been married so many times!!!

Dear Future Husband,

Please just love me anyway…

Look!! I look really good half naked with balloons….

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OOoooh Balloons…

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Sold? Good! Thought so! *Wiggle Wink*

But away from all that….Yesterday was a great day!

I was at a catch up meeting with ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Magazine, minding my own business, rambling on about my life, going on about how i’m going to be getting this new amazing body….

…and as I scrolled through my email, I received a message from ‘Amy’ in regards to the Lypsyl Mirror Compact Lip Balm, that I had loved and therefore ‘influenced,’ on my socials.

I loved it so much and like I always say, when you’re an influencer you receive and try out a lot of things, be they products, places, or people….and it’s hard to fit everything into your socials….

However, I genuinely loved my mirror compact madly and was so grateful to Lypsyl, that I basically featured it on my Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and Facebook immediately…

ALL MY SOCIALS (which you should all be following)

Yesterday….My Lypsyl Mirror Compact and I were featured in The Sun…and Fabulous Magazine…

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How good is that! I literally *SCREECHED* in the middle of Ego, at my meeting….

House of Solo, ‘Big A’ kept doing these ‘being jealous’ faces at me. Lol.

But it felt really GOOD, to have teamed up with Lypsyl (which is a huge glorious brand,) influence something and then to see it in the national press…

It felt really good!

(They’re such a wonderful team…)

I was jumping around a cocktail bar, they were jumping around their office.

Everyone was filled with excitement…

I felt like the luckiest girl in the world….and when I’m excited, i’m like a little girl. I beam!

I WILL tell you, that things in my life right now, are kinda wonderful, in ALL areas…..I know! Can you even believe it?  And whether I am or not, right now, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world…

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It’s All A Bit Of A Cheeky Jumble….

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Happy Monday!!! How are you all? I’m alright today, to say it’s Monday. I’ve got a lot of ‘first part of the week’ work on….and like i’ve just said to a friend,

‘Once it’s all sorted, shot, filmed, out there and promo’d…I’ll be able to finally shit..Shit? I meant *SIT*…Lol… chill and enjoy.’

There’s so any little bits going on and i’m just not being organised. I need to grab all the loose ends and bow tie them pronto. I’m sort of letting it take control of ME, rather than OWNING the reins like a champion.

Whatsapp Msg: ‘Get ya arse into gear and sort it out…’

I have modes. When i’m on ‘work’ mode, I ROCKET IT. I have tunnel vision and I smash it about with my Girl Boss’ wink. When i’m on ‘lets have fun’ mode…That’s all I can seem to do. And I always only do what I want. Never anything less. I’m naturally fun, so it’s easy. Then, finally when i’m on ‘chill’ mode, which is my favourite mode….I adorn the art of relaxing in true glamour puss style. I like to put things in categories…So technically, I must be more organised than i believe?


But like I said, a gzillion shoots, blogs, advert filming, auditions and all sorts is on the cards. I even have to finish off writing a book in that time.

I’ll do it. I’ve got my ‘updo’ in and that always makes me work harder. 😉 The kids even gave me neon ‘putty’ to destress me, in case I went mental.

They both went to their Fathers, yesterday afternoon and I molded putty into a penis, a bracelet and a bottle opener, because you really don’t need anything more than those three items in life.

In that time, I could’ve smashed work emails or shot more content. 🙂 But it was Sunday and Sunday’s are about chilling, right? Lol

I love my excuses.

I mean, who dashes about on a Sunday? (Other than all the most successful people in the world.  🙂 ) Sometimes, I get my priorities straight and other times…I just don’t.

Like right now, I’m having a conversation about how I was late to my own WEDDING REHEARSAL in LA, because I was shopping. They had to do it without me. Lol. I didn’t prioritize well on that day. (It was the first time around.)

Actually, in my DEFENSE…(and this is all in my ‘ABOUT ME’ section on this site, which you can all go and read, if you fancy.) I didn’t see it as a priority because I was actually already secretly married to the groom. No one knew, but us and our two best friends, who witnessed it. So the wedding was more like a ‘production‘ than a real life thing.

Shopping came first that day. 🙂

If I ever got married again….I’d do it privately…and tell you about it afterwards.

But back to work! I’ve managed to get distracted again…

The good thing is, that at least my business is ‘my own life’ and the work part of ‘my own life’ is online. So, like I said, once i’ve whipped all the ‘graft’ ..I can ‘glamourously’ relax for a bit, and let it HOPEFULLY work it’s own magic.

I like the word ‘MAGIC.’ Do you?

Right, i’m off because I’ve actually got quite a lot to master today. Plus, a parents evening for Junior this afternoon.

This conservation has just happened with one of my chick friends..

‘Why is my life shit!’

‘Your life isn’t shit! Yours is ace. Mine is shit.’

‘No, we’ve both got shit lives…but just doing shit’

When that convo happens, you know you’re actually alright, because if things were really that shitty, you’d hit *panic* button and run around screaming. You wouldn’t be laughing about it. 🙂

Hope you have an amazing Monday!

Oh and i’m getting a ton of messages about my ‘Only Fans’ thing. The site where you can subscribe to ‘exclusive’ content…which is the ‘cheeky’ version of my selfies.

The reason why I’ve started that, is simply because I have a lot of followers from all different walks of lives, all different ages, all different genders and with all different ‘wants.’

And I feel as though everyone is sort of getting mixed up in a jumble. So i’ve giving people specific places to go…So that they can find what they are PERSONALLY looking for in Wunna Land.

If you like to follow my diary, actually read the blog and specifically follow my life..It’s here. It’s you number one WUNNA LAND SPOT. Everything you want or need to know or learn about me, is here.

My Instagram will become more ‘LIFESTYLE.’ It’ll become more ‘Influencery.’ (Which is always great for the girls and teens.)

One Facebook Profile will become ‘family.’

My Twitter will be my brief bursts of banter.

My Stories & Snapchat will just be video…

And my Only Fans content will be for all the gents, who just want to see the ‘cheeky’ pics, which they’ll have to subscribe too….as lets face it…I won’t have my bra on…and it’s cold. 🙂

This is all happening shortly…and by next month…It will all be in place. So, there’s no more jumble and each ‘social’ will have a different voice.

Got it?

See! I am organised after all! 😉





2,444,877 Views Later….

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Happy Sunday! I’m having a manic weekend of birthday celebrations for my little girl Ruby. We take celebrations really seriously in Wunna land …Meaning, if there’s any excuse to have a good old *knees up*…WE WILL. That’s what life is about!

She’s manage to survive 7 delightful years on this planet, with ME as her Mother, bestie and life guide…and GOSH, I couldn’t love her any more! I cant even describe how I feel. She’s my absolute treasure. And yeah, she’s a bit sassy…But I expect anything that enters the world, via my ‘lady parts’ to have a bit of ‘ooh laa’ in their system. I’m surprised she didn’t rock out with a 2 for 1 cocktails in her hand.


…There’s a story to Ruby and her shimmie onto this Earth Ball.

SEVEN YEARS AGO…(It was my daughters actual birthday, yesterday….) I was an itv2 show with Peaches Geldof… being interviewed, because as I had tinkered off the ‘Paris Hiltons BBF’ show a year before…I had fallen pregnant…and I had chosen to be a ‘glammy mammy.’ 

I can’t remember who was around me or on that show??? But, I do remember that big furry animals, Mark Wright, and Dom Jolly, were also being interviewed.

It was my ACTUAL DUE DATE and ITV had paid for a TAXI to pick me up from my doorstep in Yorkshire and DRIVE ME ALL THE WAY to the studio doors in London, to film. It was a 4 hour journey! They’d been on the phone to me all day, because I kept ‘umming’ and ‘arrring…‘about heading to London.

Me: ‘I don’t know if I can come??? I’m not coming down on the train. What if I go into labour!!!! I’m not having a flipping train baby….’

ITV: ‘We’ll sort this out for you…and when you get to the studio, we’ll have a Doctor right there for you, on set. Everything’s sorted. Your hotel’s booked…We’ll get you here. We’ll look after you…Please come. You don’t have too…But COME. Lol.’

And because they couldn’t have looked after me better and because I’d worked with a lot of them recently…The taxi pulled up outside my home…I was 9 months pregnant and IT WAS MY DUE DATE(I had already filmed previously…a couple weeks before the show, for the background story) and dressed in a tracksuit…I jumped in the cab and it drove me all the way to ITV in London….

I arrived there an hour before I was due to film and it was all manic and crazy. I was SO WELL LOOKED AFTER, yet there were bright lights, dressing rooms, green rooms, hair, makeup and outfit changes, chats with the producers, greeting with Peaches and everyone rushing around me to make sure I was okay. In fact, everyone kept trying to feed me. Lol

‘Honestly, I’m fine. I feel like i’ve eaten a whole child.’

The rubbish part about it, was the fact that everyone got to enjoy all the booze in the Green Room…and I got to chill and watch everyone have fun.


Emma, who was also on the Hilton BBF show with me, on ITV2, was being interviewed on the show also. She was actually really lovely that night and rubbing my belly with ‘awws.’ But then she came out of her interview a bit narked off…

Ems: ‘They properly ripped me to shreds and it’s not fair. It’s alright for Chrissie, because she can take it and it’s what her brand IS! She’s fun and sassy…BUT they always make me look BAD and desperate and always make HER look good!!!!’

She’s a sensitive soul. Really lovely by nature. Yet, certainly get’s ripped into on interviews.

I was stood back stage, getting mic’ed up with my preggo bump before strutting down a giant catwalk for my interview. They were playing my VT to start egging the audience on…I was quite a controversial character during that time of my life…So you either ADORED ME MADLY, or HATED ME! It was kinda ‘showbiz’ at it’s finest.

They played the VT…I’m being filmed in the ‘Loose Women’ dressing room, i’ve having a spray tan, i’m being interviewed and dancing in front of a big red curtain on a dark lit stage and I’m rambling on about how i’d like to turn ‘just living life’ into a business, via my blog (which firstly I DID and secondly…they heavily promoted for me…) I had filmed all of this previously.

Anyway, the audience got all riled up and as they introduced me for my entrance, some of them CHEERED LOUDLY…and the rest of them BOOOOOOOOOOED, like their lungs couldn’t possibly *boo* anymore. 🙂

A member of the team just looked and me and smiled and showed me my stage entrance…I wet myself laughing and the *boos* looked back at him in a fit of giggles and said,

‘Cheers, you dick. Lol.’

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But Emma was right! I’m just made for it.

Half the audience loved everything that I stood for. Half of the didn’t like the fact that I was there on my due date, because I apparently should have been at home in my pj’s nesting, with my knitting. But i’m a hustler…What can I say? 😉

And I couldn’t have been looked after better. There was literally staff EVERYWHERE, incase my waters broke…ready to run in and save the day.

Secretly…ITV wanted me to go into Labour during my interview.

Me: ‘I know that you want me to go into Labour. Are you gonna start jumping out on me and scaring me, until my waters break?? Haha.’

This was an elevator conversation…Weirdly, I actually felt fine.I just knew Ruby wasn’t ready to come out yet…

Long story short….That night, Ruby didn’t pop out that night….I stayed over the evening in London, got home safely and even chilled a little, doing squats, eating pineapples and scaring myself, at my own mirror image….

When she did decide to *pop* out…It was filmed, moments of it were placed upon Youtube and just like that Ruby’s birth went VIRAL.

Obviously, I didn’t care about how ‘viral’ anything was at that time because I was in labour, having humans squeeze out of me…Yet, you know how you upload a video….(I wanted to look back and watch it, as it was the first time i’d ever had a baby and I also wanted to show Ruby the video when she was older…Plus, I live my life publicly, so sharing it on Youtube isn’t that much of an issue for me. It’s my job. Back in the day, it was seen as SO TABOO. Now, everyone’s doing it.) 


You know how you upload a video to Youtube and 100 people view it, then 400 people do…and over a 1000 people view it and you get all excited. I missed all that, I was recovering and having babies….

But my Mum walks into my hospital room, with refreshments and her phone in her hand…and says…

‘Chrissie….94,000 people have just watched your birthing video.’

There were loads of little snippets of the birth…Some were on 14,000 views, other’s on 81,000 views, some on 3,000 views and two that were on around 400,0000 views….

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2,444,877 MILLION PEOPLE had at that point, viewed her arrival…

It was that crackers.

And at the time, loads of people said all sorts. Again, I didn’t care. I was so happy to be a new mum. I didn’t know that so many people would even watch it?

However, of course, due to the popularity of the videos…. with all of the love that came flooding in, I lot of ‘hate’ came a tumbling in also, as apparently it was so inappropriate of me, to upload my time in the labour room.


In fact, months afterwards… all the hate’ did kinda make me feel a little weird and judged. I forgot to read the love.’ 

HOWEVER, let me tell you, YESTERDAY (my mum, dad, brother and the babies, all celebrated Ruby’s birthday at Sundown Adventure Land, which is one of her favourite places and I do want to thank ALL the staff there for being so utterly wonderful to us and making the day so special. We filmed parts of our day for you and placed them on my ‘social’ stories….They’re on my Insta, Facebook and Snapchat. Are you following them?) 

ANYWAY….Yesterday…..Ruby and I laid down in bed and I showed her the ITV2 show, and she watched a couple of the videos of her birth, that went viral and….

YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN HER BEAM! She did a face at me, like she couldn’t have felt more important. 😉

Ruby: ‘I can’t even believe that I was that special, that I was on the telly, in your belly and so many people watched me being born! Why do you look like a chipmunk?’

She said it so ‘7 year old’ and excited and understood every single part of it, as I told her the entire story from start to finish. She was fascinated. She threw her head back laughing and she just wanted to know everything about that moment….

So now….If i was ever in a situation where in which I was going to have another child….

I’d 100 PERCENT film it and upload it to Youtube…

I never know why so people are always scared of doing the things that feel so right or feel so normal, in case others judge them…when they’re not harming another single soul?

It’s weird that, isn’t it? So many people LIVE for what other people think! Why????  Like, I’m naturally someone who will not care about what ‘Joe Bloggs’ in Kansas thinks about my posts, if I’ve loved every single minute of it or chosen to do deliver it to the world. I’m someone who won’t even care, if someone close to me, a good friend, my mum, or if anyone disagrees with something that I am so passionate about. I’ll do it my way…always….IF, I think i’m right and if not, I’ll ask for help.

So, from my experience, I can tell you…


You will absolutely benefit from doing the things, that are TRUE to what YOU believe is right. The ones that smash it, don’t at all worry about the judgments of others. They go for it.


They don’t get caught up in what other people think of them, because they’re secure enough to stand their own ground.

Yet, the main reason why going with what YOU WANT TO DO, always works, is simply because it’s filled with utter love and over flown with your true passion.

When you do things out of love, wonderful things happen….

Don’t get it twisted 😉



Kitty Sexuality, Wantons & Mind Blocks…

I just keep having these really weird dreams. The other night I dreamt that I was outside in the sunlight, about to board a flight and around me I kept seeing planes taking off into the skies. The mood was all happy and calm and then I looked to my right and the Eiffel Tower appeared out of nowhere? Then I got on my plane?

Last night, I dreamt that a guy I know, who was being all lovely, all smiley, all happy…Well, he got down on one knee, and proposed to me. He put a silver band on my wedding finger and had a matching one on his wedding finger? Again, the mood was all lighthearted and peaceful. Everything just felt so perfect?

I either need to stop drinking before bed time or these dreams mean do actually mean something? I’ve stopped looking them up now….I never dream? Why am I dreaming so much?

Other than that, It’s a busy time in Wunna Land. I’m kinda just getting my ‘kitten concentration’ on, to focus on it all for a bit, as i’m rubbish at organizing things, schedules and everything in between, when it comes to my own world. I’ll just dance off with an afternoon cocktail in my hand, gleefully…. which is the bouji version of burying your head in the sand,’ when everything comes at once.


I could do with a cocktail now and it’s only 10.47am.

Slippery slope…

(Yet, luckily a slope that i’m used to…Free slide anyone?)

Yesterday evening, I managed to ‘tipper’ and a ‘tinker’ and once I did, in a flash, I had ‘penned’ into my schedule….and officially booked something in. (This is why I’ve always said that my soulmate needs to be of an organised nature. I’m quite obedient, if I don’t have to deal with the ‘faff’ of things.)

So, in April, I’m looking forward to heading down to see Kwoklyn Wan, at his deliciously divine restaurant, in Leicester, for a bit of jolly filming and blogging, as he teaches me how to cook things, for your absolute ‘social’ delight. I’m a cheeky little thing, so it will be sprinkled with that infamous Wunna Land charm.

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He was actually on ‘This Morning’ a couple days ago, with his little brother, the ever famous Gok Wan, teaching Holly and Phil how to whip up some whirlwind wantons, as he is the ‘MASTER’ of making the most delicious Chinese Street Food.

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April…(and I think he’s actually filming a documentary at that time)….I will be embracing all this Asian with him, as he teaches ME…how to be a Wanton Master! We’ll be doing a video, that you’ll all get to watch and along with a blog, I’ll be ‘socially’ sharing my behind the scenes with you.


See! A little ‘being organised‘ does you some good!

Right now, I’m trying to swizzle everything together for the CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM advert. Organizing the location, outfits and themes etc…is quite difficult. But I know what I want and I’m gonna be working with Jake Logan (who’s simply great.)

Let me tell you….The advert is going to be oozingly dripped in an actual mind blowing swirl of sexuality. It’ll be ‘kitty femme’ at it’s utter finest. It’s there to tell a story, it’s there to advertise the blog, socially. You’re not even going to know what to do with yourself afterward! 🙂


We’re both really excited to film it. It can’t come quick enough. Organizing it, is actually stressing me out. But if it all goes well…They’ll be lots more adverts.

I have two shoots booked, that are coming up shortly, followed by content shoots for my ‘socials.’ Right now, i’m not finding enough time to fit everything in. Yet, I’m really lucky, so I’m going along with it all. I’m smiling and i’m winking.

I guess, sometimes things feel tough…Yet ‘tough’ is only temporary. Once you pick it up and handle it, it dissolves and becomes easy. So, i’m staying hopeful and enjoying the work that I love.

I had something else to tell you, but I can’t remember it?

SHIT! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! For Gods Sake! I even have my specs on! It’s meant to make me smarter!

No..Mind’s gone blank.

Oh Wait??

…Nope…Minds gone blank. 🙂

Anyway, everything’s great. Lost my mind. But everything’s great. I’m excited to finally get my teeth fixed. I’ve got to organise picking up the new whip. I’ve also got to organise getting a new tattoo, which i’m actually quite nervous about. I tried to talk myself out of it…But i’ll message them today and book in a ‘go see’ date…The reason why I need to do that is simply because i’m scared. The only way to solve fear, is action right? So i’m gonna smash it about, like a human dynamo and get it all sorted.

All of the above are ‘collabos’ with brands and businesses and if life is about living and adventure, then I’m the luckiest kitten in the world.

I’m still building….But something tells me, that good things are going to happen! (I dreamt of planes taking off!)



Some of you won’t actually like it, but lots of you will. And believe me, I have an actual internal FEAR bubbling inside me because of it.

Thank you for following my version of life!

Big Kisses,

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Life, Chicken Outfits & Train Journies

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Hi! I haven’t abandoned you! Just lots going on right now, which is ticking my work boxes off with  ‘deliciousness.‘ I’m learning a lot about people and life right now. I always thought I knew everything. I would wouldn’t I!! 😉 I can be such a cocky little shit at times. But what i’ve treasured from my darling little accidental ‘life learns’ over the past couple days, is that you should never ever be afraid to voice how YOU FEEL about something, someone, or a situation, no matter how awkward it may make you or others feel. By nature, I’m a ‘voicer’ and I stand by being expressive, until the day I keel over in glitter heels. It’s good for everyone!

(Like last night, I sent someone a message because I must’ve kinda doubted myself…I did cringe after I sent it…But it was how I really felt in the moment. I chilled a second..and just like that, this morning… everything was back to dandy.)

Another lesson…Don’t doubt yourself.

(I’m only saying that so I remember… But you always need life lesson reminders.)

The right people will always understand you. The ones who truly care for you, will always still be there. The people who do you wrong, or disappear will always say ‘sorry’ or come back to you whole heartedly…if they’re meant to be in your life. Stay loyal to what you believe is right for YOU and DO NOT go against, what your gut instinct tells you…

Unless, your gut instinct is kinda ‘off par,‘… then you’re kinda fucked. 🙂  Like one of my Straight guy friends, he has the worst ‘Gaydar‘ in the entire world ever! He can never be trusted with it…

Straight Friend: ‘He’s not gay..’

Me: ”We’re in G.A.Y, he said he loved me on the Hilton Show, loves my eyeshadow and then said *i’m gay.*”

Straight Friend: ‘That doesn’t mean he’s actually gay..’

Anyway….busy weekend! I travelled to Manchester. Well I did Stockport and then this other place that began with ‘L,’ for work. I can’t really tell you too much about it other than, I was in trainers…(I KNOW…HELL DIDN’T FREEZE OVER.) Around me there were really bright, almost neon, yellow walls, bright orange, semi circled chairs.. in a sports hall, tons of paperwork everywhere….and humans.

There was even a point where I was trapped in a room, with a ballet bar and a giant mirrored wall…with a black elasticated waist band strapped around me, that had a HUGE, ALMOST GIANT elastic band attached to it. (Could life get any offer.) And to make it worse…I was also in swimming goggles, which pretty much broke my heart.

‘What about my flipping eyelashes…I can’t see a thing. I can’t ACTUALLY SEE!’

Then as a camera filmed, others watched and a panel of humans took notes…the giant elastic band, was slowly pulled back, so it was stretched out, to its absolute tightest…. and then let go on me.


Did that happen to you on Sunday?

‘Hustle Barbie’ messaged me during the day to see how it was all going…

Me: ‘Aww! Yeah. Such a blast. I have just had a giant elastic band, stretched back and pinged into my fanny!!’

Hustle: ‘Hahaha. I love it! I can’t wait!’

Before that I was having a conversation with a cabaret act. He was once on the Xfactor Bloopers and wore golden glittery shoes…There was also a Tattooed model, an elderly lady dressed in a CHICKEN OUTFIT, a former Aston Villa pin up girl (who was cool, witty and said she used to be 29 stone,) a guy from Belfast, who thought a bomb or something shifty was under his chair, a guy opposite me who had flown in from Perth and to my right sat a football player…

We had to blow a balloon up and draw whatever we wanted on it…

Football Player: ‘What have you drawn on your balloon?’

Me: ‘Boobs…You’ve drawn a football net… We’re so creative. Lol’

Then he starts reading everything about me. We had these sheets by us, that pretty much stated our lives in 2 pages of A4. I didn’t LET him read it…he just couldn’t stop reading it. (Must be my charm.)

Football Player: ‘You look great! You’re really pretty. You’re soo…’

Me; ‘Thanks. That’s sweet. Lol.’

Football Player: ‘As if your body’s like that and you’ve had two kids.’

(He kept reading notes about me, putting his head up and then making a statement.)

Me: ‘Hahah. Smooth. Scoring all the points.’

Footy Player: ‘So you’re a blogger and model. What’s a glamour model? I’m having to take a break from football…that’s why I’m here. I bought out my contract and..’

Me: ‘Where are you from? Who did you play for?

Footy Player: ‘France. I’m here because of football. It’s my life. I love it. I just hate the other shit that comes with it. I’ve played for lots of clubs…Like Tottenham…*******…..********** but…yeah, I guess I don’t look really professional. I’m not playing right now…I’ve actually moved to Leeds.’

(Then he told me loads of secrets that I cannot possibly tell you)

…and in that moment I actually felt really bad for him…because an unhappiness swirled about him….But we were there to do a job that day and everyone there…did. He was a really open guy…quite quiet… I didn’t fancy him at all….he just wasn’t my type…but he was a good friend during that day. He sort of latched onto me because he trusted me.

I felt bad for him because at one point, all the guys were just stood around him constantly, asking him continuous questions about ‘football this, football that…’ and all the things he didn’t want to talk about…I watched it and just saw him look uncomfortable. Show business, is not something that he is necessarily used to.

I felt bad because you can literally ask me anything. I write a whole online diary about my entire existence. I bloom when a camera is plonked in my face. Opening up about my life, what I think and making a ‘show’ of it, is all is my forte… It’s where I feel comfy. AND I do not LIKE to see other people feeling UNCOMFORTABLE. I wanted to go tell his story for him. Lol.

But then, as life would have it, he too got trapped in a mirrored room, with a giant elastic band strapped onto his waist. Again, like moi….he toooo, had to have it ‘stretched out and pinged back’ upon himself. 🙂 Kinda ‘broke him into’ entertainment.

Just a great day. I had a blast. I met so many people, who were all so different to me. I was fascinated. Sometimes, I found them a bit boring, but other times I found them alright. Lol. Plus, I’m never wearing swimming goggles ever again. I’m a bloody glamour puss…not a…Goggled, boobied… life guard. AND i was in flipping trainers!!! EWW! On the way there, a guy named ‘Trigger’ tried to make me GET IN HIS CAR.

Me: ‘No. You’re alright mate. I’ll just walk.’

Trigger: ‘Well gimme ya numba den..’

Me: ‘My phone doesn’t work. 🙂 Godda go.’

Trigger: ‘Get in my car. Honest. I’ll takes you there. I’m a good person me.’

Me: ‘I am absolutely sure you are. And I am absolutely not getting in your car. Lol But thank you so much, banter was fun…’

I couldn’t wait to get home Sunday evening. Then I went through emailed drama…so I just left it.

Too blessed to be stressed. *Shimmie everywhere.*

On the train there though, this guy…I don’t even know his name? Anyway, he was from Chesterfield, got on my train, had a huge Ikea bag filled with clothes, he was wearing a beanie hat and an oversized jacket. He tooo, was also en route to Manchester and sat on the chair next to me.

Funny guy,  and so different to me, but we got on well. Bless him.

Now, I usually hate talking to strangers on the train. I’m chatty. But i usually like to chill, as I spend my life talking to strangers and selfie posing with or for them. I really liked talking to this stranger because he humored me and right from the moment he sat down he apologized for having the hugest bag in the world.

Him: ‘Are you getting off soon? Should we swap places?’

Me: ‘Yeah, if you want… I’m off at the next stop.’

Him: ‘Stockport’s a good 40 mins away yet. We’ll be fine.’

Turns out he used to work at Tesco’s, hated it so much because it made him feel worthless, just like a number. And that’s like any normal ‘just to make money‘ job really…If you don’t create your own dream and work it, you end up working someone else’s dream, where you are always a number…even when they try and tell you you’re not. And you’re a classed as a ‘number’ because you can quite easily be replaced…even if you think you can’t.

Him: ‘I gave up my job, my everything and just fucked off to Amsterdam really for a month… It was great.’

He said it like he couldn’t feel more liberated. I liked it, because he wasn’t scared to let go of something that made him feel miserable.

Him: ‘I think i just sat in this cafe, the whole time and spend about £1000 in a week doing nothing… I met this couple and they had started up a clothing business…They were travelling around, selling clothes…I liked it, so I told them that I was completely gonna steal their idea and did.’

That’s what he does now…He owns ‘Red & Blue Umbrella’ which is a Vintage clothing company. He’s opened up a store in Manchester (that’s where he was taking the clothes.) It’s four months new and is looking to open up in Leeds, Edinburgh and London? I might have just made London up?

Nicest guy, funniest guy, and now on his way to doing great things…after giving up something that wasn’t true to his heart.

Me: ‘You’re gonna do well.’

Him: ‘Yeah, it’s still early days yet… Plus, I believe that you can FAIL at something YOU HATE, so you might as well give something a go and maybe fail at something you LOVE.’

Me: ‘I love that.’

Him: ‘I don’t even know if I saw that couple in Amsterdam. It was either all the ‘shrooms’ or actual human beings…couldn’t really tell you.’

Either way. Lol. It worked out for him.

I was sat next to him and I was showing him the pics that I had just posted on Instagram…( it was enthralling for him, i’m sure, lol) and he showed me how to work depop.

I will be posting products on my depop this week , for you to buy…at some point.

These were my Instagram pics. 🙂 Lol.

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Me: ‘My stop…Godda go!’

Then I headed on my way. I looked back. He didn’t see me look back, and I saw him looking at his phone and laughing. He looked really happy. Then some middle aged lady asked to sit next to him..He shuffled his Ikea bag over.

Chick Friend Jodie: ‘As if he just randomly got on a train and just so happened to sit next to you. It’s always really awkward for them because you’re someone who they don’t know immediately, but then discover. But they discover it during their time of sitting next to you on the train, or whilst you’re at the bar ordering a gin… It’s crazy for them.’

Me: ‘It’s not crazy. It’s not that good a discovery. Lol. But a guy who came and sat at my table…That New Jersey one, when I went to visit Ronnie…he actually said that he excused himself from the table, went to the toilet, Googled me, saw a bunch of pictures and read my last blog post, before sitting himself back down. I thought he had gone to do a wee. I’m actually oblivious to it I like it though. I like it when they read my blog.’

Happy Tuesday…











Swag, Fire & Japanese Living Rooms

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I was laid in bed at 2am this morning, Googling ‘Japanese Living Rooms?’ It was dark. I was naked. I couldn’t sleep because my mind was a swirling with, let’s say ‘solutions.’ (The good thing about me, is that if there’s a problem…a big one…I am really good at finding OUR strength in YOU, evoking my kitten strength and with ‘fire’ creating a more positive solution. I get it from my Mama. Sometimes we do Versace rings, other times we do solutions.)

So, i’d had this brilliant day with Ruby and Junior and The Wunnas. We shopped, we lunched, we movie watched a home…(Karate Kid with Jaden Smith in) and the children were a DREAM. I couldn’t even believe how flipping good they were! I even kept having to TELL them how good they were because, I couldn’t at all believe it!

Ruby: We’re just really happy …’


(When you’re a Mum. You LOVE HEARING THAT!)

I couldn’t be too bothered with tending to all my ‘socials,’ yesterday, as I do it all week long…I needed a moment off and you never get a moment off….So I posted a quick ‘throw back’ picture, that I actually really love…and got on with my family day.


Balance is everything.

(So if prosecco.)

Brilliant day. Superb! I am the luckiest glamour puss alive and i’m steaming ahead with work, feeling FREE, embracing opportunity and just really enjoying life at 37. It’s easy. But anything you love, or anything that fits you like a glove (be it in work or love) is simple. There’s no stress. No hassle. I like no stress and no hassle.

So, I’m happy.

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Around, 9pm, we’re all at mine, settled, chilling and scattered around the home. The kids are in pj’s. I’m in my comfies, which is pj bottoms and just a bra. It’s either that…or just pj bottoms. I’m not really bothered about hiding behind a million layers.. I’m body confident. I even love my wibbly bits, that shouldn’t really be wibbly. I might not be ‘Vogue’, but i’m alright. I’ll live. 🙂

Do KNOW that BOTH my children are body confident because of my ‘no quarms’ attitude to my own body. I guess, I accidentally taught them that. (Saying that, I also taught them to be ‘Divas,’ which isn’t one of my best qualities.)

Anyway, around 8 pm, my mum’s still at mine and she slowly walks, whilst reading a text, upstairs to m room to deliver some ‘awkward news.’ She thought it was bad news. I did for a second. It actually made me grumpy for a moment because she had passed it on the ‘worry parcel,’ (as I like to call it.)

I dropped that ‘parcel’ straight away because it’s not what i’m about. I’ll find a solution with a smile and move it forward with ‘gusto.’ I’m the most flexible, really prepared human being. Lol

My Mum’s really blunt, so she’ll just ‘say it out…’ like I would… I liek that about her. There’s not jigger pokery. Just the facts.

Plus, I hate it when people over ‘dramatize’ situations. I say it all the time, y’know…when they make a ‘mountain out of a molehill.’ They only either do it because their own life lacks a ‘thrill,‘ they’re just dull, weak, or they want attention. Lol. That’s my Prosseco theory!

I once dated a boy, who always did that and it annoyed me SO MUCH…that I left him. I can’t stand it that much. 🙂 I just believe that strong people find solutions. We share strength. (My chick friends will tell you..I am awful at sympathy. Hahaha.) Find your swiggedy swag!

Long story short…

I believe everything DOES happen for a reason…So after a moment to myself, a big old think….I marched downstairs with my ‘solution’ face on and my positive ‘I’ve got this Mum’ vibe, in full force.

I’m good like that!

I gave some really big SPEECH. Like I was some kind of Locker Room coach and my team was getting beat…then I wrapped it up with charm, love and ‘so this is what we’re doings…’ and just like that….everyone slept well.

I laid awake until 2am. Haha Maybe, I talk shit and just take on other peoples stress for them?

In a second, we were sorted. Bad news, was turned into good, to the point where I dare say that I’m excited. I can’t tell you about it yet…but it involves a ‘doer upper.’ Basically, I was just sick of ‘silly dallying’ around and letting someone try to ‘Rule The Roost.’ I took it into my own hands and now it’s getting sorted.

*Cya Doll!*

Wunna is SWAG!

God, I had some much stuff to tell you, but instead i’ve rambled on about all that! But yes, that’s how I ended up Googling ‘Japanese living rooms.’ I couldn’t sleep, because my mind was POSITIVELY busy. I was actually gonna Snapchat the fact that I couldn’t sleep…but whenever I do, everyone messages me frantically because they can’t sleep either…Makes me phone buzz, literally every second, which keeps me up even more. Lol.

I’m loving Sunday. I hope you are too! I’m on my newsfeed and everyones now engaged or getting married. Even flipping Ed Sheran!


Someone inboxed me a poem this morning…So I’m saving the read for this afternoon. It’s the same guy who follows me on Instagram, a Wunna Land Fan…He sent me the other one previously, which I posted in my blog. I liked it. It was lovely of him.

I love a poem! Even if it’s just ‘comedy.’

I also recieved the most beautiful card all the way from one of my Gay guy besties in LA, THEO…who i’ve known for 10 years. He is one of my BEST BEST FRIENDS. He sent me the card,just to remind me that he ‘loves’ me and ‘misses’ me…I’ll tell you all about it in my next post, as I need to head off to buy foundation and find breakfast.

I love that my other LA guy friend ‘Tarik,’ (he actually hosted a show called ‘Flab to Fab’ years ago in LA, that a ‘before he was super famous’ Perez Hilton was on. Anyway, Tariks all buff, married and funny. He used to always have a soft spot for Me or any chick really and he’d continuously lean over the gym counter attempting to whisper ‘sweet nothings,’ at me, like I was his world….

Tarik: ‘Bitch, you should love me.’

Me: ‘Hahah. Get lost dude. I don’t. You need to go back to Romance Camp.’

Anyway, he was asked to turn the music up louder, in his home, so it felt like a ‘party party.’ ONLY IN LA, will you hear a guy, before a music turn up, utter the words,


Right, i’m off.

I need foundation.

I hope you love Sunday toooooooooo!

Chrissie x



Dreams Come True, Success & My Sassy Little Fan Page

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I was driving through Badsworth, this morning, the air was fresh..a little nippy, yet weirdly warm. The January skies were filled with a wistful smokiness…a lightness of glee, that glistened with beams of bright whiteness. The sun was calm, yet radiated over my little patch of Yorkshire, with a burst of strength that could only ever be described as happiness.

Right now, I feel like the happiest and the luckiest girl in the world. I might not have everything, but what I do have is just amazing. We kinda spend so much time stressing over the things that we DON’T HAVE, that we forget to really look, step back and appreciate the things that WE DO HAVE going on in our lives, don’t we?

However, saying that…Please do LIVE, take chances and gambles where it’s worth it and only do the things that make your heart bloom with passion. If you’re stuck in something that isn’t right, that isn’t gonna get you, to that place where you finally sit back, kick off ya shoes, breathe and relax with happiness… Then it’s not worth it.

You’ll know if somethings right, because you’ll feel it. Your gut instinct is the most powerful tool you have. You’ll know if somethings right because you’ll love it, you’ll feel passion for it…be it a job, a lifestyle…or someone you care about…and that passion will never ever go away…

Life will always lead you right back there….Right back to it…Right back to them….

So, yes…RIGHT NOW, I might not have everything, my heart ever wished for, but still, i’m the luckiest and happiest kitten in the world. I’ll get there, when i’m meant to…

I’ve worked hard through my life and GOD, so much has happened! Bad shit! GREAT SHIT. It’s been filled with swashes of madness and ‘colour’…I’ve had the most remarkable ‘UP’s,’ the most hilarious ‘downs’ and  the most unbelievable ‘samba’ of achievements.

Right now, it feels like it’s only just the beginning….and I have no clue why, as i’ve been knocking about for ages! Lol. I’m not someone who doesn’t feel accomplished. I’m happy with my ‘tick sheet.’ I’m loving my time back here. I adored growing up in LA. Entertainment has been my life, my passion and because.. good or bad, it a job that makes people ‘feel’ and I love that.

I always tell you when i’m not doing well. I write this diary honestly. I might miss out bits, that I keep to myself personally, yet over an ‘almost’ decade, I’ve pretty much told you everything.

I’ll tell you now…

I’m doing REALLY WELL..

..and i’ve always done alright…Right now, I’m doing really well.

Finally at 37, that Wunna ship is magically a sailing and I am celebrating merrily, with cocktails and a shocked ‘can’t even believe it’ face. I took a chance on a new chapter…and I proved to myself that only doing the things that make you happy is where your success lies. Dreams come true!



Bring a bottle… 😉

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Why do I keep being so ‘preachy?’ I guess, i’m feeling motivational? I think it’s because I read Tila Tequila’s moronic speech on how homophobia, porn and all people who wear makeup should perish in hell. It’s apparently ‘sorcery’…the ‘Devils’ work and she then went on to state how happy she would be, if everyone of the above ‘label’ DIED She proudly states that she says prayers wishing for that to happen… every single night…

Erm…? That’s not really polite, now is it? Nice and cheery! Good work Tila! What an idiot!

It just made me realise that when you have a voice, an audience….it’s really important to use that voice positively, in good humour, or in hope to inspire…where no harm is caused.

I get that she’s been through a hard time in life. I get it. Infact I know exactly what she’s been through. I know what LA Life is like, I know what being in the glamour modelling industry is like. I know what entertainment is like…I get it. But that girl,  has completely lost her mind and needs help….Needs love. I’m just not in the mood to give her any…. 🙂

I probably need a wine to chill my ‘high horse’ a second. But when horses are high, you might as well stay saddled.

(Saddled? Is that a thing? I know nothing about horses?? I only know that my Mum used to take me horse riding on Saturday’s when I was 7, until I gave it up for dancing school…and the ONLY OTHER time a horse came into my life, was when I accidentally found my LA roommates ‘porn drawer.’ He had a whole DVD dedicated to hot chicks having sex with horses…? He was a lawyer… 🙂 ) 

Thank you for all the love, i’m getting on my ‘socials.‘ I love the Wunna Fan Page banter on Facebook. There’s tons of gents that we leave me messages all day and i’m grateful for it, as i love it when people engage with that I’m doing…Yet, my REAL LIFE guy friends, who are WONDERFUL and who i’ve known since I was a teenager…have started ‘chirping in’ when they believe that the people looking into Wunna land,‘ are in sudden need of acold, COLD shower.’

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I think ‘Reuben’ once gave someone a lesson in chat up lines and referred to someone as a bit of a ‘perv.’  ‘Tomfri’ (only yesterday) gave someone a spelling test…and also decided to make sure ‘Jase the Wunna fan‘ knew his chat up line was less than ‘champion..’

‘Tom Pinto :  @Jase Tennant Smooth as Egyptian whiskey mate…’

My Facebook fanpage is brilliant. I spend my entire day on it replying to everyone…It needs it’s own show…without me in it! I have the best fans…They’re just such characters. They’re great! They even get into their own verbal fights in my comment stream…and I have to tell them to ‘play nicely.’ Everyone’s really complimentary…and i’m not gonna lie…It’s kinda a nice thing to wake up to and read every morning.

It makes me smile…

Every morning before 9am, I feel SO appreciated after a good old ‘comment read’ session. It’s a good way to start your day. It could be worse…and I know that from experience. So, I’m not complaining. I’m enjoying it!

I feel freee….

Right, I’m headed to bed now…It’s my Mum’s birthday in the morning, I’ve got a bunch of photos to post online and a jimble fo collabos to read through….I have a shoot tomorrow and I’ve got to get sorted for an audition, that I’m excited for!

Dreams come true. Miracles happen. Examples of such are around us constantly. They’re happening every single minute of every single day!

Notice them happening and know that it can happen to you toooo!



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Robot Husbands, Sex & Miracles..

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Today has been one of those ‘miracle‘ kinda days. I haven’t been able to believe the luck that i’ve had, but i’ve been so grateful for it. I was little galloping around, doing *happy* dances, to no music and total strangers…who definitely now think i’m a lunatic.

I kinda started being positive, after a couple days of feeling worried (cos we do get worried don’t we?) Yet, just like magic, with a *wangle* of a wand and a little bit of a *wink*CONSECUTIVELY amazing things just started to happen….one at a time…ALL morning and hopefully. I even had a prosecco and let my eyes ‘fill up’ a little with glee.

Things aren’t always shit. Remember that. So if you’re going through a case of ‘da blues’ and I really hope you’re not…always remember it IS TEMPORARY. 

You’ve got a whole life to live and no one to answer to.


So, I’ve got a lot of shoots lined up and it’s all really exciting. I’m writing. I’m loving the blog and well i’m a ‘show girl’ at heart, meaning shoots are my forte. I love them. I live them…I just find it really fun.

(Hang on a second…I’ve just sat on a pocket rock. No…not a ‘pocket rocket,..’ 😉 that’s a whole different blog post… Junior..The littlest Wunna in all the land…my 4 year old son…Well, he gave every WUNNA in the family a rock , a stone each. They’re ones that he had found on his journies of being Junior. We all actually carry a rock around with us, at ALL times for good luck…I’ve just sat on mine. It’s jiggery jaggery and it KILLS!) 

This morning, I posted a whole bunch of photos and a video on all my ‘socials’ on me waking up…I’m not gonna lie. I did film it yesterday to post out today. I even sent it to someone last night before it went ‘live.’ Lol.

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Anyway, before 11am (it’s now noon) on my Facebook Fanpage the video had 13,000 views. And the thing that’s been so hilarious about the video is the simple fact that it weirdly shocked people?

I post a lot of pictures…sexy ones…because they’re MY favourite. I post them…People seem to like them, they certainly engage with them and I spend my entire day replying to comments (mainly to gents) around the merry world.

I put my pictures up first and the viewers of Wunna Land, went ahead and ‘liked‘…they ‘commented…’ they ‘engaged.’ It’s always pretty fast on my Facebook..almost like fire….which leads them to a ‘click’ onto my diary, this website…so they can find out more.

But as I posted my video, it was like everything *paused* for a second…Everyone tucked their ‘willies’ back in… put on their Sunday bests, got terrified, realized that I AM actually a REAL LIFE human. and not just a picture on their news feed, or a paragraph on a blog post, that they ‘maybe’ place as some kind of ‘social fantasy….’ (Hahaha. Listen to me talking about myself like i’m some kinda Queen of the world 😉 )


It all became very real, very quickly…and my inbox has been inundated with the weirdest messages, from people who were shocked that i’m real???


Who’dya think writes this blog? Lol

I post my own selfies…IT IS ME?

I just thought everyone was going to adore me…Lol…Yet, everyone was more shocked, than anything. And the video’s just morning ‘wake up and stretch’ video? It’s chilled. It’s glamourous. It’s me. (It’s also on my ‘Instagram’ so you can go see it there. 🙂 🙂 Follow me too, because growing an instagram following is harder than...(‘I’ll let you fill in something hard, I can’t think of anything right now…’

But yes, record straight. I’m actually a real life person. I know! How scary! No ones even talking to me today on ‘Insta’ Twitter…. I’ll just have to wait until the American’s wake up and throw me some..

‘Hey Honey, Love the pics.’

I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that you should totally believe in miracles. I’ve had the most remarkable morning. Eat clean. I’ve been eating ‘fresher than fresh’ and it has served my body delightfully. It’s the cleanest, sexiest rush of goodness. I’m glowing.

I’m also getting really worried because y’know I told you about that woman who married the ghost pirate because he didn’t believe she would ever find a good man….Well, last week i read an article that Robot Husbands were going on sale, so we can purchase and program our futures as women.

Now, I love all social development and I adore the amazing things that the world delivers,


Let’s find our *SWAG* a second. (Yes guys, there’s Robot Wives also.)

Surely everyone knows that love isn’t about robots and programming? Surely everyone believes that in the end, they’ll find their perfect match.It’s all about fate, timing and true love. Some find it faster than others…but it’s definitely not a race. Surely everyone in the world is NOT THAT LONELY!!!

I mean can you imagine ME, in my flipping living room listening to some Robot Husband, that i’ve had to get dressed and plonk on some chair, telling me that he ‘loves’ me, whilst we enjoy a homemade skinny cocktail together and watch ‘Dancing on Ice,’ as the kids look at me like i’ve finally COMPLETELY LOST THE PLOT. I mean they’re already like..

Ruby: ‘Can’t wait until I’m married and move to LA, so you don’t moan at me for not going to bed on time.. When are we gonna have a proper family…’

Junior: ‘If you ever get a Prince…Like a real daddy…don’t let him touch your boobs, cos they’re mine.’

And then even worst….when it comes to the ‘nookie’ part of the relationship…The part that as a 37 year old I actually adore. I’m sensual by nature…

CAN YOU IMAGINE ME, HAVING TO UNDRESS MY BLOODY ROBOT, DO SEXY EYES AND BECKONS AT HIM, (whilst he just sits there spewing out his..‘yeah baby you’re hot’ lines that i’ve programmed into him



Wunna land says it’s a no go….

I even had a conversation with my chick friend ‘Jilly G’ about it..

Jilly G: ‘It’s just like a man shaped dildo.’

Me: ‘No it’s fucking not. It’s not a dildo AT ALL. It has eyes. Creepy ROBOT EYES. My dildo’s don’t have eyes? Do yours?

Jilly G: ‘No..Lol..They don’t speak either..’

Me: ‘Oh? I might have one that speaks? Haha.’

Bottom line…I’ll wait it out, marry a ghost pirate, order 100 cats and cry myself to sleep before I EVER INVEST IN A ROBOT HUSBAND.

Love you,

Chrissie x


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PJ Skating, My Insta Pics & Ghost Pirates

I’ve just got done shimming alongside a bit of ‘Dancing On Ice’ where I skated around my living room laminate flooring, in my socks and pj’s, under the distinct misconception that I WAS some kinda ice Goddess. (I can’t skate for celery sticks.) But it puts you in the mood, doesn’t it. Makes you feel all wonderous and elegant. All divine and glamourous. Did it all with a Desperado in my hand. I think I made it ‘swag.’

I’ve had a weekend to myself with my family. It’s been weird, because with all the family ‘stuff’ that’s been going on, with my Grandma etc……(it was the funeral Friday,) my system took a shock.

No not a shock? How can I describe how I’ve felt…? I’ve felt like i’ve mentally been rummaging through the bottom on my handbag, trying to find that five pence piece, that you really need for the parking meter, that you definitely know is in there somewhere, yet you can’t find it anywhere.

(Wait…some strange guy has tagged a picture of himself on my Facebook wall…and also tagged 39 other humans in. Why do that! I hate it when people do that! Would you ever? I mean, I get self promo..but Jeeze…don’t do that. It’s bad manners..and I hate poor social etiquette. Lol) 

Anyway, I needed two days of ‘losing my mind’ and filling myself with anxiety…Lol…and now…I’ve come through the tunnel and i’m back to my positive self. I’m feeling great again.


Which means…when you have a case of ‘da blues‘…in may case it was bereavement….FEEL IT because you’ll get over it much quicker ..but then ‘snap out of it’…take the time that you need, but try not to dwell on it…I started to see the positive in everything…and it feels so wonderful…should I say ‘WUNNA FUL’ to be back. 🙂

My bounce back ability used to be much faster than two flipping days! Must be my age. Lol. In LA, it would be around 14 minutes. 🙂

(All your messages and comments have been great. i’ve read them all and replied to every single one i’ve managed to catch. It’s really made my kitten soul feel dandy! I thank you so much for that! Oh and if you won a video message/personalised photo with my SCREENSAVER COMP…I shot them today, so you will have them soon..) 

So today, I posted this pic…on my Instagram, my Facebook Fan page, my stories, my Snapchat…my everything…Not on my Twitter though for some reason?

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And I love this pic. I think it’s sexy, it tells a story and it kinda makes you use your imagination…evokes your inner ‘creative.’ That’s something that I hope to inspire in others. I want to encourage people to EXPRESS. I want to encourage the entire world to keep a diary…and if not in written word, or a blog, a vlog, or anything inbetween…an Instagram profile, still…to me…counts as the ‘picture diary’ of your life…

Obviously ‘Wunna Land’ is doing pretty alright now…;) (thanks to you.) However, I’ll tell you that I TRULY believe that something does well out of love and passion, hard work and dedication. What makes me feel good about writing this blog, isn’t about a bit of fame and a little bit of fortune…(maybe a bit of fortune 😉 ) it’s the simple fact, that I LOVE documenting my life, telling you how I feel…I have a genuine love for ‘diary writing’ (everyone in my family, even the kids, keeps a diary.) I’ve done it for almost 10 years now, all over the world…and done it out of love.

I love that it connects people…and that humans, from all walks of life, from all over the world (like you NOW)…. I like that you all *click* on and for that second, you’re all connected via Wunna Land.

It’s a trip! It’s crazy!

Anyway, one of my chick friends, who was with me early today, before meetings, sat on my bed and watched me post the above picture…and said…

Friend: ‘It’s so weird, to see you post that pic right now, when you’re sat here sat in a bra and pj bottoms, with a poached egg sandwich..’

Me: ‘Why? Lol. It’s still me…’

Friend: ‘Haha…yeah, I know you idiot. It just that, I think that if people didn’t actually know you in real life…Like if they haven’t met you, or they …I don’t know, you’re personalities just really different to that picture…’

Me: ‘What? In a bad way?? Pass us my coffee…It’s on my dresser…’

Friend: ‘Like in a pictures…you look all sassy and moody and sexy…Y’know…all stuck up and high maintenance…and…’

Me: ‘Awww! Cheers! Lol.’

Friend; ‘No. Hahaha! In real life, you’re all funny and warm and giggly and I don’t reckon people would think that…They wouldn’t know that about you… They’d either get the wrong impression and if I was a guy and looked through your pics…I’d find you intimidating…’

Me: ‘Good job I don’t have to date you then… Why are you not passing me my coffee?? Yeah, I get what you mean…I get it. I did used to be a properly good glamour model….Lol’

Friend: ‘Shut up Wunna…’

Me: ‘It’s like being an actor…Just because you play a role for a picture, doesn’t mean you ARE that role… I love my pics. Tomorrow, I’ll post a dead smiley one just for you…’

Friend: ‘Really?’

Me: ‘No. I’ve already shot it. It’s sassy. Haha. Stop trying to make Wunna Land about YOU. 🙂  Get your own land.’

Then we bought more coffee and did Sunday. I love Sundays, they’re my favourite day ever, because for me, I associate it with ‘chill time. I love to relax. I handle ‘busy’ with panache…But gosh, I adore the art of ‘chilling.’

I’ve just read a story online about a woman who had MARRIED A 300 YEAR OLD GHOST, of a PIRATE??? She apparently committed to such wonder, because she was absolutely sure that she would never ever find a decent man to love her, the way she truly wished.

That is TOTALLY a much SEXIER version of the ’80 year old, lonely cat lady’ tale…

I say..

‘Good on ya!’

I mean if she wants to marry a PIRATE GHOST then go for it. I actually think there’s probably thousands of people in a lot WORSE normal marriages than that! Lol.

I might try it…

(I love that someone has just commented on my Facebook Fanpage…Tried to compliment me by tagging my name in the ‘comment’ section, before his sweet words…BUT INSTEAD, he’s tagged the wrong name and it says the name of an entirely different ‘Chrissie.’ )


All he’s typed is..

‘Oh my *insert the wrong Chrissie here*…’

And then followed it up with all the best emojis. There’s a kissy face, flames, a rose, heart eyes…everything…

The other ‘Chrissie,’ who spells it  ‘Chrissi’ has responded with a

‘That’s not me… Lol.’

Nothing is better than the wrong tag…Like when I accidentally tagged a half naked picture of myself as ‘Chrissie Hynde’ instead of myself…But forgot to remove it…. and when I accidentally sent my Mum a naughty text…:)


Let’s all marry GHOST PIRATES.










Naked Sprinkling & Christmas Merriment!

Morning!! I hope you’ve had the most amazing Christmas time! I spent it with my family…ALL The Wunnas, in ALL THE LAND and it couldn’t have been more wonderful. We’re such a close family and to just watch Ruby & Junior be SO EXCITED about the arrival of Santa, just made me kitten heart melt. It’s just amazing.

Having children at Christmas, sets your world on fire with love. And just being around my Mum and Dad etc…was great. I’m a little independant Sasserilla, but I am 100 percent a family girl. It was brilliant! I mean I sat with my Mum over cocktail sausages and watched a bit of Strictly and we just pissed ourselves, as my Dad and Brother had kips. My Dad’s ace because he’ll sit and enjoy a Port with me. (He’s an emotional man, so he may weep during the process. Lol) My Mum’s ace because she’s just an amazing MOTHER. We can sit and watch The Hangover and cry with laughter at the most inappropriate moments.

Mum: ‘I love it when the naked Chinese man jumps out the car boot and humps him!’

(Now, you all get why I have such a rubbish sense of humour. It’s evil!)

But let’s rewind.

So, the evening before. Christmas Eve. A time where some of you are out on the razzle, kissing strangers under the mistletoe, (remember when you were in school and the boys used to attached mistletoe to their trouser belts and try and make you kiss them under it??? Eww! Maybe it was a 90’s thing? Maybe it was a Private School thing? Lol)

Anyway, the rest of you either made your way back home to your families or like moi got your children excited for Christmas morning.

We watched Christmas movies, laid out a mince ie, carrots and milk for Santa and Rudolph. I leave nothing under the tree. Nothing at all. I do the ‘everythign magically appears on Christmas Morning’ thing, which is quite practically a ball ache.

So, I let Junior leave his ‘boobie traps’ for Santa…and I tinkered the babies upstairs for a big sleep.


(By this point i’d filled my soul with champagne.)

MY KIDS, ofcourse DO NOT want to go sleep and instead insist that they are going to CAMP OUT ALL NIGHT IN MY ROOM, WATCHING FOR SANTA TO f**&(*$*&&&* ARRIVE!!!  They set up some crazy blanket tent, with snacks and standed guard.

So, I had to pretend to fall asleep. Junior was on Team Mum, because I had manipulated him with love 😉 …so he got into bed with me first…then Ruby followed at about midnight, because she FINALLY FELT EXHAUSTED.

I too, unfortunately fell asleep at this point. Champers, full bellies and discreet present wrapping had killed me off for a while. My ENTIRE FAMILY (as in my Mum, Dad, and Brother, were also staying at mine, to watch the babies open their presents in the morning.)


Laid on top of my sheets, because my brother had turned the HEAT ON, some kinda crazy ‘full blast.’ Now, I like it hot…but I had to fling my giant fox onesie off, like a budget stripper gram, in order to just BREATHE and feel cold air on my skin.

But yes, there I was starfish naked, on my sheets…and my Mum ‘nudges’ me up with a..

‘Get up, you need to put all the gifts under the tree…’

So, I fling on some satin pj polka dot bottoms, a tshirt, a giant white faux fur and a pair of cream heels…like ALL THE FASHION DISASTERS IN ONE…tip toe out, half asleep to my car, gather all the pre wrapped good from y back seat ant boot, that i’d shoved in a giant plastic carrier bag and hidden under a Little Mistress faux fur…dragged them into the house, plonked all the presents under the tree…nibbled carrots like the reindeers had had a go at them, drank a cup of milk and made it look ‘spilt’ (because Santa’s so busy) and then ate half a mince pie…which I HATE. I despise a mince pie.

At this point I was filled with glee, because I had completed my Mummy duties…So ofcourse I Snapchat it, like i’m some kinda ‘Hero,’ take everything off and get back in bed. I also swigged a mouthful of Baileys OUT THE FUCKING BOTTLE, before I tucked myself in, because i’m classy like that. (Shut up, it was Christmas.)

Got settled, felt like the comfiest soul in the world, then…


I’d totally forgotten that I needed to sprinkle out Santa’s footprints.

SO, not being arsed to put any clothes on because it was  STILL BOILING and I hadn’t had the sense to just turn the heating down…I get out of bed FULLY STARKERS…RUMMAGE IN A BAG, where I had hidden some ‘Lemon Fresh’ Shake & Fresh….and in the complete NUDE….and in the half dark, I totter around my house, holding this green ‘shake and vac’  shaker, sprinkling Santa’s snow footprints all over my home.  The footprints made no sense. Nudity made no sense. I got to bed around 2am.

It was all totally worth it!

The next morning, we all had a lay in and the shock on their faces made my entire world complete.

I had the best Christmas Day!

It was filled with family, love and glamourous hilarity.

I whopped out my breakfast platter, I cooked, we danced to Christmas songs, we opened presents, we drank..OH I DRANK MY ENTIRE BODY WEIGHT IN EVERYTHING…i need to stop….and after messaging all my friends abroad and someone here that I care about, then sending the babies off to their daddies in the evening…

I settled down with my Mum and we watched a ginger Rugby player Oli visit the First Dates restaurant and go on a date with Kat…for us all to watch and judge. Lol  (I loved their date. He gifted her with a photo of his butt. J I love that show. There’s a magic to it..A magic that everyone can relate to.)

Today, I’m spending some time with my Mum and Dad. I need to get out of my pyjamas at some point…and then i’m headed to The Carleton to meet my chicks friends for a couple of drinky poos!

Have an amazing Boxing Day!

Please follow all my ‘Socials’ as I’ll be on my ‘stories’ more than anything right now.

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