Blogs, Boys & Heels…

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Gosh! Morning, my lil’ Twinkles! My delicious tickles of fancy. I have been SO UTTERLY *RUSHED* off my little kitten feet. It’s been mad. I’ve been busy. Yet in a way, I’m delighted, because I really do hope to one day ‘blink’ and see that ALL of my dreams have come true…and if that takes ‘busy,’ if that takes hard work,‘ than to me, I’m there. I’d rather do it, than ponder it..

TBone: ‘ It’s not what someone says, it’s always what they do…’

Especially when i’m in a productive frame of mind. Y’know, before cocktails get the better of me. Haha.

I reckon, if you can still commit to productivity, in a really great heels, you’ll smash life! 

(Oh! Wait! I thought I said that I was always gonna wear ‘flats’ now, after running for my life and falling over 40 times at Scare Kingdom?)

Nevermind. Ghosts & Kidnappers would just set me free anyway, because I’d definitely do their head in. My choice of footwear wouldn’t be an issue.

Kidnapper: ‘God! Let her OUT. Switch her for a better victim. Ooh. Shes wearing glitter heeled pumps from the ****** collection.’

I was talking to ‘Celeb Ghost Hunt’ Ash, the other day…He wants me to go on an investigation with him. I must be a sucker for terror. I hate being frightened. Haha.

Anyway, back to non frightening stuff…

I’ve travelled all over. I’ve been on shoots, auditions, i’ve been good, i’ve been bad, I’ve been influencing a jolly load, ready for the festive season. (Which is a REALLY BUSY time for everyone.) I’m also doing the single mum thing also, aren’t I? (I adore every INCH of the bambinos. Junior’s a delight. Ruby’s got her first set of glasses.) I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my world. I’m raising a Glamour puss and a Hero. Last night they both *shocked* themselves up, ran out of their rooms and got into my bed, because we all got lonely and afraid of the dark. Lol

Nobody likes to sleep alone. The only time i’m okay with it, is when i’m drunk and just need to pass out…still with my face on. (Which I don’t really recommend as a graceful little pastime. It only makes you feel worse in the morning,)

On the whole, I’m really happy, right now and when i’m this busy and this happy, it seems that I forget about my ever so rubbish love life.

I’m still 37. I’m still single. It ain’t that bad.

I’m happy a singleton. But after everything i’ve been through. The ups, the downs & the ‘mess me arounds’, i’m still not cautious.  (I still wear my heart on my sleeve.) I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I very much trust people with my heart.  EVEN NOW I  still trust that they’re going to take care of it…..because firstly I see the beauty in everyone and secondly…because i’m probably foolish. Haha.

I never know if they see me as their ‘bitch,’ their ‘bed notch,‘ or their ‘baby for life? Haha..Sounds like a Fairytale. If I can’t decide, i’ll just sit back and leave it to them, to come forward and show me what category, I fall into.

If they don’t come forward then they’re weren’t for me. (I’ll just see it all as, ‘they weren’t that interested.’) I like a forward man. A brave one.

You know why? Probably because i’m not used to guys being romantically forward me with…It’s almost like they’re terrified to be? And I have no clue why? Whatsoever? I don’t get it? You’ll see a lot of guys openly comment on my pics etc, via my ‘socials.’ Yet, the majority of them don’t..and instead shoot in a sneaky DM. (That sounds naughty! Haha.) 

I literally get one almost every 2 minutes. 

However, in real life….If a guy actually fancies me…they’re usually forward to begin with and then stop being so forward…..It’s like they want ME to chase them?

When you’re a 30 something woman, nothing is worse than having to chase a guy for attention. I’ve done it lots, much to my own embarrassment. But I don’t do it, now. EVER. Who has the time or that? If someone wants to go on a date..They should just tell me. If they want to be with me…They shouldn’t be scared to say it.

Plus, i’m quite traditional when it comes to the chase..the ‘wooing.’ I like a boy to ‘hunt & gather,‘ as I ‘fan‘ myself prettily.

Guy friend: ‘You only like them to *hunt and chase* if you fancy them though. If you don’t, you always *shut* them down and we hate that. You make the approach extremely intimidating…’

Anyway…Blah.

I’ve decided to describe my love life like this….

It’s kinda like cleaning a window, with a raggy cloth. Some day, I’ll be able to see through the glass. 😉 

I bumped into my friend Shaun yesterday. He’s a bodyguard..

Shaun: ‘It’s not like the flipping movie Chrissie!!’

He’d just got back from London. I’d just got off a busy weekend. Plus, I’m actually looking for family security and safety, right now. A wee bit of close protection. Not all the time. Just when necessary. Sometimes, when we’re out as a family or i’m influencing something, people will stop to chatter or selfie with me. And I love that. Yet, they’ll just be ME & the babies. I need to make sure they’re always watched. I’m paranoid after some creepy guy, who only knew me from instagram, followed us around Doncaster & wouldn’t leave us alone & after a guy tried to glass another guy in a Manchester bar, because he was trying to hit on me?

I didn’t know either guy…I knew they were both trying to hit on me?

All I heard was the female manager shouting..

‘Get her out the way…’

Then guys and girls starting grabbing glass bottles and smashing them up against the bar, to use in a fight!

IT WASN’T EVEN A ROUGH PLACE.

I wouldn’t have gone there if it was. 

The police even got called and the bar had to be shut down for the evening, It got that crazy.

I don’t get it?

So, it was good to briefly catch up, with Shaun.

Shaun: ‘You’re starting early…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. I don’t even care.’

(I was sat in a quiet corner at The Mallard, in Doncaster.)

Me: ‘You’ve got luggage on wheels. I hate it when people have luggage on wheels. Haha.’ 

Shaun: ‘I feel like a Trolley Dolly, but i’m working it.’

So we discussed security, talked life, work and caught up…The we dashed off. (I didn’t end up posting my blog. When people I know come up to me and start chatting, that’s it, you can’t shut me up. I’ll just spend time with them instead. But I like that about me. I put LIVING life, BEFORE typing it out.)

I guess, I need to find balance. 😉

Then Sam ‘The Reecey Reece’ fest messaged me, to see when we could schedule in ‘catch up’ time. We’re like ‘ships passing in the night.’

‘Are you free on…?’

‘Are you?’

Then I just got on with life.

I’ve had so much fun over the weekend. I’ve worked. I’ve loved. I’ve lived. I’ve had the best time. I celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Saturday. I did Xscape, Castelford with the kids. We smashed ‘Nandos.’ I did Meadowhall. I wiggled at Wagamamas.

Just so much!

I’m so grateful for how well, everyone treated me, over that time!

It was actually Pete (Ruby’s Dad’s Birthday) on Sunday. But Ruby didn’t want to hang out with him, because she wanted to do Influencing with me at Meadowhall. Being Pete. he showed up at Meadowhall, with is bestie Jay, in dying hope that he’d get to spend some time with Ruby..in her new specs.

It worked…and we all ended up doing dinner together at Wagamamas, with my Mum & brother.

But I kinda like that, we co parent well. We haven’t been together for years. In fact 7 years…Yet, it’s great that we can all ‘kick it.’ Y’know, just chill and have a duck pancake together. Lol.

When co parenting works.

Anyway, about my love life…

The weird thing is, with me being busy and ‘forgetting’ about love…It seems, that gents are peeking back into Wunna Land and tapping on my glitter door, again.

I’m calling this time..

Operation ‘Blasts From The Pasts.’ 

A couple of guys that USED to fancy me,…seemed to have returned to my DM’s with a ‘Hey. How are you?’ One guy had actually started dating a girl, but she went through his phone and *blocked* me…Haha. He didn’t even realise, until one of his other friends pointed it out.

Safe to say…They’re no longer together. (But there you have it! You shouldn’t have chosen ‘The Crazy’ over me. Hhahaha.)

It’s all good fun. A laugh. We’re all making memories.

If i could tell you anything.

I’ll tell you that I was a really lucky girl. I’ll tell you to always chase your dreams and when you feel inspired, to act upon it. A dream doesn’t just have to be a ‘make believe‘ moment. You can at least TRY and make your reality. People do it every day. Why not you? I’m living proof.

Always be kind. Always do the things that make you happy. Don’t sacrifice your true happiness, to ‘run through the motions.’ Wake up. Feel the breeze, Go with it. Nothing is better than living you best life.

Don’t listen to anyone, or anything but your gut instinct. It will show you the right way. It will also tell you when you’re ready.

Always believe in love…

It is the ONLY thing, that is going to power you through the bad times and make the good times simply MAGICAL.

Preach over…

Have an amazing Tuesday….

I love you.

 

 

 

 

Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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Scare Kingdom & Sex Dungeons

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You probably spent your Friday, planning out your cocktail mixers & putting together your outfits, for a jolly lil’ weekend of debauchery. A weekend of blissful safety, under a bouji umbrella of frosted prosecco pours. A weekend where in which you *winked* at strangers and placed your heart on your sleeve, as you stalked your ‘findings’ on Instagram.

Shush! We all do it.

I spent my Friday, doing a morning school run, (Single Mum Alert,) before hopping on a train to meet my gay friend Liam…Once I arrived, I found a Bacardi in my hand, as station security guards stood by my side. Then after a moment in a beauty salon, followed by wine in a Casino, at Blackpool, Pleasure Beach. I found myself getting changed in his living room, with more wine in my hand, after chatting to his agent Zoie and making a really poor shoe selection.

Liam: ‘Honestly, you need to wear trainers.’

Me: ‘I’ll be fine.’ 

Aaron & Kyle showed up and…

BOOM….

We were headed to Blackburn, where I pretty much had to…

RUN FOR MY ENTIRE F****** LIFE.

(I’m a glamour puss. I don’t run for anything, but diamonds. Sistas! I RAN! I ran SO fast, I tripped over my own feet, fell and rolled myself back up again. I felt like a rubbish Vin Diesel. Haha.) 

The UK’s Top Rated ‘Halloween Attraction.’

Yeah that’s where I ended up…

I was invited to Scare Kingdom, Scream Park, to celebrate it’s VIP press launch. It’s opening night. If you know me personally, you’ll know that I can handle, real life scary stuff. I’m good with all that.

But when it comes to fear, tight spaces,mind games, Halloween, horror, ghosts & goolies…(Wahey! 😉 I said ‘goolies’... )

..I am awful for it. I’m terrified of it all. I don’t even like to celebrate Halloween. I close my eyes and pretend it’s not part of the year.

OH MY LORD! 

I got there. It was fine. (I’d already fallen backwards, on my arse, in Liam’s living room, with a wine in my hand, because of my shocking shoe choice.) I was ready for anything… I already had a graze on my arm.

Liam: ‘I swear you’re getting pissed because you’re terrified!!!’

Once, in Blackburn…It started like this…

Which was fine. It’s always great to see ‘Aaron the Pap,‘ in action, who’s actually a really great friend of mine. I love Aaron. He was in our car up…with Kyle. (Who I THANK the GOOD LORD for!)

Next, came another drink…and then this…

Again. I can handle the creepy dude on the red carpet. I even asked him out on a Sushi date. He declined. He obviously has poor taste in women.

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Then…

OH MY ******* KITTENS!!!!

It was time to enter the creepy Scare Kingdom, farm land and go through the TERROR, that awaited our juiciness. We had to go first, because Liam (who’s a singer) had a ‘later on’ gig to get to…Which was delightful, because of course, if you go first, they’re all flipping energized and excited. Lol

Cheers love!

I mean anything that says…

‘Hold on tightly to the rope that guides you, it is your only hope of escape from the hooded hell hole, known as Flesh Market.’ 

Hmm…? Lovely. Something says i’m not at Angelica’s anymore? 

I couldn’t even walk up there because of my shoes. Haha. fell over twice, with Liam and Kyle holding me up on either side. It hadn’t even started yet!! 🙂

Aaron: ‘She’s off to a farm to be chased by zombies and she chooses to wear those shoes!!!’ 

We’re wandering around. All’s calm. It’s raining a little. I hate the rain. We head inside, things turn dark…and then absolute tight spaced, TERROR begins….

All I remember was forcing my friend Kyle, go first (lol), whilst holding his back, (Liam was behind me) and just ******* SCREAMING, FOR MY WHOLE LIFE, into his hood, because I needed my eyes to just stop seeing. Haha.

I don’t even know how Kyle was so brave!?! God, did not make eyes for what we were forced to see…Haha. 

Imagine being tipsy, being shoved into a tight, dark maze, then HAVING to get yourself through it all, simply for your own pride, whilst you wished for the torture & horror to stop.

Imagine doing all of that, on a dark farm in Blackburn (lol.) You knew awful things were about to happen, every time you were being greeted by creepy humans. Human’s that made you feel uncomfortable on every level. Imagine being chased THROUGH some death cage, by them…blind and…

..IN ****** heels.

We got through the first maze. Don’t know how?

I now couldn’t talk, after screaming so madly…We started walking towards the ‘next bit’ of utter terror. I fell over around 7 times, en route, because a mixture of bad shoe choices, wine and fear, kept making me.

Liam: ‘We can’t go through the next maze. It’s too scary and you’re falling over your own feet!’

My trousers were literally covered in mud. My shoes were battered. My makeup had smeared. I had tears in my eyes…I was laughing, in shock. But then I went with…

Me: ‘I can just take my shoes off and of through the rest of us…’

EH?

Liam: ‘Fuck off. You’re not allowed to do that…’

Kyle: ‘She can’t get through it…’

We get to the next maze (i’m determined to ‘muscle’ through, but then Liam, makes the executive decision to kindly ask the ‘greeting ghoul,‘ to call a manager, & get us back to the bar. She came and got us and we were walked straight OUT of the terror, to immediate safety….I had baby ‘panic & dash’ bruises all over me, my knees were covered in soil and yeah…I was still in my shit shoes.

I ruined everything. Haha.

(Saying that, both boys were filled with utter fear anyway. It’s not like, we were okay. Haha. We were drained of utter life and filled with complete fear…and I knew they weren’t okay, because they were trying to ‘swag‘ it out, like were we all safe and dandy.)

WE WERE PANICKED!!!

If ANY HUMAN, ran up to us, at that point (she could’ve been a flippin’ lollipop lady)…..I tell you, I would’ve probably passed out or opted for dying, because it would’ve been a less traumatic. Haha.)

But that’s what Scare Kingdom is about! It ain’t Disney Land….unless you’re a twisted F****.

We’re walked away to safety, back to the bar…which was now filled with ‘newly arrived’ celebs, ready to take on, the terror mazes.

(I just drank because I couldn’t deal with life, at this point.)

The gorgeous Marlie Weekender’ tinkers up to me. (I love Marlie, she makes me smile. I met her at an event in Leeds, in the Summer.) I feel a flick of my hair from behind and there she is, with her ‘Off Big Brother’ boyfriend Sam Chaloner, a cute blond girl, who I think was his sister and Callum Weekender, who’s about to hit our screens on ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ 

I think I was pissed by this point, as everything just seems to be in ‘flash back.’

I talked to the owner? I talked the bartender? I talked to Aaron? I saw tons of people from ‘Lucky7 PR,’ who I watch daily on Instagram …Like Sean Pratt, his girlfriend Jordi, Glamour Model Grace Teal…(He’s fit. They’re beautiful..) I saw Saira Choudry, who’s currently on ‘No Offence.’  I remember her from Corrie.

Then I flipping got pulled over, to what we all called ‘The inside sex dungeon.’ (It’s the epitome of terror, which overrides any terror you’ve experienced so far on the farm…Oh and it’s niche is twisted, psycho sexuality.) 

Kyle’s already headed in. (I love how brave he was. I love brave dudes.) He was the first one in…ever! All these ghouls, who you couldn’t see, where slamming shit and screeching…

‘Come in, little boy, we’re waiting for you…’

..behind a small metal door.

I’d ONLY agreed to go in IF I was able to be photographed/ filmed. Lol. I’m such a diva. Haha. But whatever…I was terrified.

Me: ‘It’s optional. I don’t really want to do it, for the good of my own health. I’m scared. I want a bit of ‘look at me.’

Staff: ‘Wait here…’

Of course, knowing my luck…It was all fine and dandy…and before you know it, i’m stood at the entrance of a horror, SEX dungeon.

Yipppppppppppeeeeee! Happy Friday!

All i could see were my friends stood behind a barrier. A metal doorway, with a flap that had been opened. I heard screams, screeches, evil voices, beckoning me in and saw a creepy looking barbie, human, was looked naked, but was wearing nothing but tights, a blond wig, with sewn on eyes, nose and lips…that didn’t move.

I was not okay. I F****** SHAT MYSELF.

I just stood at the entrance, with my hand over my face shouting..

I CAN’T DO IT. I’M NOT DOING IT. I CAN’T ******* DO IT. 

Everyone’s now *egging* me on…Liam’s shouting…

‘It’s NINE MINUTES CHRISSIE. ONLY NINE MINUTES TO GET THROUGH.’ 

Me: ‘Nine minutes. Nine minutes…’

I looked at Kyle…and said…

‘Was it okay…?’

Kyle: ‘No…It’s…’

Liam: ‘Don’t tell her that!’

Kyle: ‘9 Minutes… You’ll be okay. I did it. It’s harsh. But just do it..’

I’m causing such a delay, that the amazing staff had to tell some of the ‘horror actors’  to ‘calm down, back up and clear the door way…’

Yes, I was that pathetic. Hahah.

A lady then says…

‘You have a SAFE WORD (She tells me it.) You shout it out. Everything stops. We’re all watching.’

Don’t know how it happened?Yet, as life goes…I ended up on all fours, about to crawl through the entrance. (Yes, you had to CRAWL THROUGH IT.) I *paused* but they were already sick of me, I’m sure because I felt a *push* on my bum (lol) and that was it..

..the door *slammed shut* behind me…

The only way out, was to get all the way through the dungeon or shout my ‘safe word.’ (Which of course my northern pride wouldn’t let happen.)

Now, I’m not going to tell you what happened in the psycho, sex dungeon and Scare Kingdom. All I will say, is that I SCREAMED for my life, NON STOP.

Liam: ‘All you could hear for the first minute was Chrissie, screaming her head off, whilst trapped in that dungeon & I was outside.’ 

I went from room to kinky room, madly. Infact almost reluctantly. It felt so fast. So energized. Everything around me was ‘non stop’ and so real. It felt really real, like i’d been kidnapped. I fell over, TWICE.

It was intense. It played with my head. It was a nightmare and all I wanted was for the madness to end. I was in a torture chamber. I didn’t have a gin. My eyes saw the most terrible things…and when 9 minutes must have been up, I found myself running out of a curtain, back to safety…and finally without a mini sack over my head. 🙂

WTF! Hahah. OH MY GOD!!!

As soon as I ran out, I felt an entire RUSH of utter bliss flow through me. I could breathe I was free. It was like I had conquered the world, in 9 minutes. It was the best feeling of achievement. I faced my fear.

I flipping did it.

I could’ve done it again. Funny that? It was THE MOST TERRIFYING Halloween moment EVER, It was SICK. It was twisted. It was naughty! But that’s what it’s there for, so it in my mind, it was done INCREDIBLY WELL. It was created beautifully, by the kings of utter horror.

You just can’t miss this, you have to say you’ve done it….

As I walked out, I saw ‘Real Housewife’ Christine McGuinness (Paddy McGuinness’s wife) on the red carpet, doing her pap pictures, before the run… It ended up in the Daily Mail.

Something tells me, she was about to find out, that she wasn’t in Cheshire anymore…

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As soon as I got back to The New Osborne Hotel, in Blackpool, I drank a bunch of wine, chatted to a guy named Lee, drank loads at a Casino with Liam, Matt and his beautiful girlfriend…and then passed out, in my bed sheets.

That’s how my weekend started…

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Baking or Blow****

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Afternoony, my delicious trickles of honey life. (I don’t know what that means either, but just go with it, eh?) I’m feeling great. I’m feeling on top of the world, kinda like it’s my oyster. I’m ready. I’m in gear and i’m gonna be getting my my ‘Sasserilla to success’ OOown!

I’m excited!

I’m an ambitious girl. Yes, i’m dipped in cocktail.  Yes. I can be wild. Yes. There are also times when i’m quite ‘chill.’ But right now. i’ve kitty whipped myself with a wink. I’ve found my ‘ooh laa.’ Everything’s changed…and now…I’M READY.

Yayur!

You’re a product of your environment. I couldn’t say that enough. If you’re environment is shit. You’re in trouble. If your surrounded by things, people, a work life, OR a love life, that doesn’t give you a rush of ‘happy,’ or a simple niggle of excitement…Then you need to change it up. You’re in the WRONG place….Stay there until you’ve learnt a lesson. It’s like a life ‘naughty step.’ Yet once the lesson has firmly *squashed* itself into your heart and mind…Your soul. Pick yourself, grow 19 ft tall and

DO ONE…

The strong ones don’t get lost in the haze forever. They find a way out, to make their dreams come true. They’re the ones with the balls, the sense…the gusto. They’re the ones that don’t make excuses for themselves, yet instead see their own faults and commit to making a change.

Preach over!

Praise the wine Gods.

Right, okay. So, two of my chick friends. I like to refer to them as ‘vanilla’ (yes dull) because they’re really different to me, yet I’m cool ENOUGH with our differences… It’s not hard for me to put up with them. It’s not for me to actually put up with anything. I’m pretty laid back.

Yet, why do ‘Vanilla’ chicks try to change ‘Fun’ chicks? Lol. Fun chicks, just get on with being FUN. They don’t waste time trying to change and control ‘Vanilla’ chicks…because we think there’s no hope for them. Haha.

Anyway, I’m always rambling on about my love life. You lot are always rambling on about my love life. It’s a key feature of my world and simply because i’m single. I can’t seem to hold a marriage down… three times over. 🙂 I’m 37. I’m great at choosing badly…Yet i’m dashed with a lil’ sprinkle of popularity and blessed with a sexy disposition. 😉

Wahey! Tit soup for everyone!

Anyway…I know they’re boyfriends, really well. (Neither chick is married yet. But, as the fairytale hoes…Hoes? Hahaha…..GOES!!!! They can’t wait for THEIR moment down that somewhat ‘Vanilla’ isle. 🙂 )

Chicks: ‘Why are you making fun of us for being kind?’

Me: ‘I’m not making fun of you for being kind. I’m making fun of you for being dumb…’

They’re boyfriends are always out on the lash, harmlessly flirting with ‘hottie p’totties’ and just having a good old, laddy time. They’re fun! So both of my ‘Vanilla’ chick friends, wanted to spice things up… in order to *peak* their boyfriends interest.

(NB/ Surely, they should be interested in you anyway…without you having to try.)

And because these particular chick friends of mine are dull…what the girls came up with, was ‘BAKING.’

EH?

Did the world take a turn and get drop kicked to a loony bin somewhere?

This isn’t a F****** Disney Movie!! This is real life. I mean, GOSH, a dude doesn’t get excited about sitting down and having a cheese scone with you! Even Cinderella knew that. She hired a flippin ‘Fairy’ to *whiz* her up a fancy dress, carriage and glass slippers…not a side of carrot cake!

‘Buns in the oven’ SCARE MEN. Hahaha. Like, do they need to GO BACK, to ‘Diva School‘ or something??

It’s beyond me…

So ofcourse I ranted about it on my Insta page, because obviously a guy, does not give a flying ‘hooterella’ about a BUN, as a means of fun!

That guy wants you to tickle his fancy. Y’know…egg on a ‘Twinge.’ Get him feeling steamy. Make him feel like a man.

That’s EXCITING!

He’s gonna chose a blowjob over a scone ALL day, ‘errrday!’ They leave their mates, girlfriends, wives, jobs and children for a blowy, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Bottom line…

DON’T TELL ME THAT I NEED TO BAKE, IN ORDER TO SCORE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS…

I’ve got my own problems…and baking.. ONE, doesn’t need to be added to it. (I already didn’t bake for the kids school last night.) And TWO…it’s shit! Don’t tell me shit. Haha.

Me: ‘I’ve been married 300 times. It’s fine. I’m cool, if I never get married again! You’re vanilla. Vanilla chicks, don’t try and teach FUN. It’s like me trying to teach GEOGRAPHY, when I can’t even find my way out the loo’s in a bar!!!’

Everyone just paused…

(I always do this. Stuff just comes out my mouth, then I have to stop, to see how ‘the rant’ was received. I do it with charm. Y’know… a smile and with everything crossed.)

Then luckily enough, we all just burst into laughter and poured prosecco…

Chicks: ‘Don’t put this on your Insta…’

Me: ‘Okay…’ 😉

I guess, the thing about life and love, is to just BE YOU. We try so hard, don’t we, to be the perfect version of ourselves. OR, the other way around…we don’t try at all, to even nearly project, who we truly are.

Being who you are and not giving a **** about what anyone else thinks, is something that will keep you in good stead, on your way to success. In this day of age, it’s not necessarily the easiest thing is it? We all want to do well. We all want to be adored.

Don’t get lost in the haze….Be you. Be proud of who you truly are. Enjoy and stick by what YOU believe in…

Always…

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Life, Love & Really Bad Habits…

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Hope you’ve had a really wonderful weekend! I had the BEST family time with Ruby & Junior. We lunched at ‘The Clam & Cork’ in Doncaster. (I had the oysters, Ruby had the sea bass. I had to go buy Junior a boiled hot dog from a cart, by watermelons. Lol) We shopped. We loved. We picked out our Style Favourites at Primark. I’m a huge Primark fan So as a family, we couldn’t feel happier, to be sharing our favourite pieces with you.

Primark has hands down’ shown us a lot of love & for that, i’m absolutely grateful for! In my mind there’s no reason for anyone to spend an ENTIRE fortune, in order to LOOK GOOD or most of all FEEL GOOD.

There ain’t no shame in your Primark game!

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In Wunna Land, our expensive buys, are always a ‘treat.‘ I mean we spend a lot on ‘good times’ and great food. Yet, when it comes to fashion, and I LOVE FASHION, I love BEAUTY….we’ve signed up to ‘Primania’ with our hearts full of joy.

I’ve shopped there for years and now it’s time to celebrate it! 

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(I mean, what is life without a knitted rainbow cardy, right!)

Okay, so….

The start of my week has been blissful, up until last night. (We’re only on Tuesday. Haha.) Last night, I decided to balls things up, for myself, which I do quite often. You know when you just don’t prioritize something correctly and you therefore accidentally, let yourself down, because a niggly guilt meanders through your head. A niggly guilt that won’t go away because you temporarily hurt someone. That’s what I did. That’s how I felt. I’m okay now. I’ve got over it look…

Yet, a lesson has been learnt…and I guess, I need to break another bad habit. (This is all really good for me. I’m going through a really CLEANSING time, by accident. Lol.)  I don’t smoke. I won’t drink as much. I’m wearing chakra balancing beads. I’m crying to love songs by JLS.  Next i’ll be doing yoga on my front lawn, in eco friendly workout attire and stroking goats…

I don’t think so… I’m a glamour puss, not a hippie. 😉 I am actually quite spiritual by nature..throw me a pack of Tarot cards and a voodoo doll and i’m sound. 😉

But…

WHY AM I STILL LEARNING LESSONS AT 37!!

Anyway, there’s lots going on. my Insta story is on fire, right now, with views. Work is on it’s way. I’m in limbo. I’m waiting for a something to air on TV. I have loads of shoots. I’m waiting for my time. My moment. I’m loving being a mum. My love life is still rubbish. Well not rubbish. The guy that I went on the Manchester date with, is looking forward to seeing me again. So, that’s sweet.

(All last night, I kept drinking red wine and accidentally crying to JLS songs, because I missed ‘The Swirl.’ Hahaha.) 

I love being a girl.

To be honest, I’ve been quite hormonal of recent. (As you may have guessed?) But i’ve found that as soon as I ‘doll’ myself up, whop in my hoops and get strutting…I’m fine. I’m dandy.

Just getting on with it, is the best way!

I feel like something great is going to happen to me in the love department? Even if it’s not right now…The ending to my story, when it comes to love…feels like it’s going to be amazing. Like Life has been leading me up to something phenomenal. (She glues her ‘rosy tinted specs’ to her face.)

Everything you go through, I believe is for a reason…

I’ve enjoyed by path, as ‘colourful’ as it’s been…I’m ready for a Happy Ending. Surely, I deserve one, in both work and love, for crying out loud!!

I’m committing to everything. I’m throwing myself into everything. You get nothing out of life if you don’t commit to it. 

You’ll never experience the happiness intended for you, if you don’t ‘throw skin to the wind’ and just go for it. Survive the bad. Enjoy the good. Be it big, small or inbetween. Just live. Just love. Just be ALIVE.

In the end, you’ll KNOW why you had to go through it all…

I believe that…

(But I still believe in Santa and Fairies…so don’t take my word for it.)

Right now, I can tell you, that i’m really proud of the kids. Junior has a true heart of gold. He’s insightful and loving..Yet won’t let you push him around, when he feels brave. Ruby is ambitious and dynamic. She’s a tough cookie. She is every inch….well…ME. (I’m kinda feeling really bad for Pete, right now, because Ruby hasn’t wanted to hang out with him over the last couple weeks…)

‘Tell Dad, that I do love him. Everything’s fine. I’d just rather spend my time with you and Junior, mum…’

She’s almost outgrowing him…and she’s only 7.

Pete: ‘Chrissie, it’s depressing me…’

The babies have really got stuck into this whole ‘showbizzy’ malarky, by choice, before you all start……I’m kinda having to rein them in a little and make them concentrate on school…because they have so much going on in October. I can’t keep up!!

But I actually couldn’t be prouder of them.

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Life is good. I’m tired though. I’m looking after myself more. I’m stepping up my game. I’m adoring my beauty regime. I’m wanting to make my mark, now. I’m also wanting to fall in love. I wonder if ‘The Swirl’ ever thinks about me? (I think about you. I think about you a lot.) I wonder if The Manchester Date guy will try to pursue a future with me? (You were so lovely to me. You made me feel lovely.)

I’m concentrating on my career…and like I said, this time LAST YEAR…

I ain’t gonna be dropping no ball, this time…

Watch this space…

Wunna Land, is on it’s way UP!!!

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Will you still love me….

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I had such a ‘drama’ Monday, after the most blissful & peaceful weekend of ‘family.’ I’ve got so much going on, that i’m filling myself with a delicious flourish of stress. It’s kinda topped up with that beautiful thing we call ‘anxiety,’ simply because i’m terrified. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me? So, i’m gonna go with hormones?

I’m back on the telly shortly…That’s worrying me. I’ve got a lot to organise with the kids…That’s worrying me. I have shoots galore and auditions coming out my ‘hooty..’ That’s worrying me. My love life is *whizzing* around me, almost madly…I don’t even know what’s going on? Yes. I get a lot of attention. Yes, I’m single.

However, I’m noticing that, if I ever begin to feel for anyone, I get stressed out, because giant *CAUTION* signs go up everywhere. I’ve always had a shit love life. So, it’s scary. Plus,  I’m absolutely emotional, so to me, it only means ‘danger.‘ I do not ever want to get my heartbroken again….EVER. I tread carefully. (Well…fuck that. I ‘stiletto.’)

I have travels and schedules and places to influence…Everything’s a juggle…Sometimes, I panic and I can’t even breathe. (Cue: Drama 😉 )

But the weird thing is, i’m HAPPY. I’m really happy and maybe being so happy, or so lucky, makes me worry because LET ME TELL YOU, my life hasn’t been so easy….Haha. It’s laughable.

Basically, I’m scared of everything right now, because i’m having to pinch myself…and I need to ‘Man up,’ count my blessings and get on with it, with panache.

Anyway…

At the weekend, I did Meadowhall with The Wunna’s and Ruby. (Junior was at his Dads.) We were pretty much treated like Meadowhall shopping royalty (and I thank you for that, because I don’t even know why?) It did feel wonderful though.

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We shopped and stopped at Wagamama’s. Then after cocktail refuels, toy stores, makeup counters, new hair (we all need those extra few inches,) and my brand new chakra beads…Life felt almost perfect.

Ruby: ‘Mum. You’re chakra beads are not working. You’re CRAZY. You’re still nuts. They don’t work.’

(She is right, though. Even though I told her to ‘shush.‘ At this rate, i’m gonna need to see Buddha and get blessed by monks, or something! Maybe i’m just not meant for ‘Total Enlightenment.’ Maybe, i’m meant to live this ridiculous life of pathetic glory, for your entertainment… Haha.)

I’m starting to believe that…

‘Hey Destiny…You’ve fucked me over. You’re off the Christmas card list! You’re chilling on the naughty list, with Cupid and a few Pretty Boy exes from 2004.’

This is how I feel right now…

Like I’ve drank 42 energy drinks, had a bottle of rum, taken all my clothes off, and then thrown MYSELF to the lions.

Then…because i’m not at all mental….

…I lost the car…I always lose the car…Oh! Wait!! I don’t mean?Ugh. I’m rambling. I didn’t REALLY lose the car! I kinda ‘misplaced’ it? Y’know, when you can’t quite remember where you left it? 🙂 My Mum, drove home, because obviously, I guzzled Aperol Spritzies…after The Disney Store.

Fair enough, there was lots of wine, brunches and fun over the weekend. I checked in with my friends…briefly. Got on top of work. Then just relaxed with the kids. However….one of my favourite moments of the weekend, was the ‘school mum..’ catch up…

(There was a kids birthday party over the weekend…)

Miss.Murphy: ‘What are you wearing!?! Lol. Who wears glitter shoes to a kids party..?? Haha.’

Me: ‘Shut up. Lol. These are my driving shoes.’

Sam: ‘Does Ruby want Pizza?’

Me: ‘It’s like the Real Housewives of Yorkshire…’

Mum: ‘I got asked to be on Real Housewives of Marbella, a while ago, but I said no…I’m too boring, for it!’

Me: ‘You said NO! As if you said NO!! I can’t believe you said no. I would’ve moved to Marbella, to have done it. Haha.’

( I live for that show…It calms me, when I’m stressed. Yet, so does the occasional Jeremy Kyle episode…? So, yeah…I’m mental. Ignore me.)

Other Mum: ‘Oh yeah. I’m gonna be flying away with him.’

Miss. Murphy: ‘You’re actually going now! What about…?’

Other Mum: ‘Oh…he doesn’t know..’

Miss.Murphy: ‘You said he was fat and bald…But he’s not at all?’

Me: ‘How have I sat here for an hour and not known it’s your birthday today!!’ 

Miss. Murphy: ‘So, are you seeing your date again?’

I never thought i’d be a traditional ‘school mum.’ Yet, there’s just something about this group of Mamas, that is filled with the ‘sexy.’ They’re actually not traditional, school mums, in rain macs. They’re alive. They’re fun. They have designer shoes that read ‘LOVE.’ Louis Vuitton handbags and possible stables…’

They’re, what I call ‘Prosecco Mums,’ and I love them, madly. I’m like the tragic misfit of the bunch. The single, no husband, disorganized one, with a suggestive Insta profile…

We’re all really different from one another. Yet, w’re all great women. Confident women. Great mothers and well, I just really enjoy they’re company.

Then all our kids ruined everything and shoved tall plastic, slush palm trees, in our faces… 

At that point, the gossip got censored…

My inbox is * pinging,* almost every minute, with people asking me about my love life and my last date etc…

All I can tell you is that, the guy that I did the Manchester Airport date with, was wonderful. He says he wants to see me again, and I definitely will. I found him really sexy and confident. He’s smart and thoughtful. I liked him. I’find him interesting…I want to know lots about him…I’ll definitely be meeting him again. (I’m only one ‘meeting’ in. So it’s all ‘early doors.’)

I’m just treading carefully…Like I said, I’m not bothered about getting my heart broken, right now, when I have so much going on…

I eventually want to fall in love. I’m a true romantic. I want to be swept off my feet. Adored. Respected. And y’know, in that one meet up, my date was that! He was a REAL MAN, which made me notice that I’d not only been looking in the wrong place for love, but i’d wasted a lot of my time, on ‘little boys.’  At 37 years old, I don’t need to be doing that!

When it comes to love…

…this time..because obviously i’ve been married three times and had numerous flings and relationships..I want to PROPERLY fall in love. I want it to be stable and forever…with no stress. No drama.

And I do want to just say, that even though on paper, i’ve dated, romanced, flinged, loved, married, divorced, sexed..and well…just all sorts, with men, all over the world.

DO KNOW THAT….

… I never did all that because I was a floozy. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions about me. I’m a love bunny. There were options. I was young. A glamour model. Off the telly…Growing up in Hollywood…All sorts.

Yet, I never was and still not a man eater. I’m non judgemental. I’m modern. Yet when it comes to love, I’m quite ‘fairytale.’ I’m quite traditional…I’m a hopeless romantic, with a capital ‘H.’

I’m tragic…

So, every single time, I went into these encounters, with men, boys, gents, or misfits..

I always hoped (like any girl or woman,) that they would love me forever.

It just didn’t and still hasn’t quite worked out that way….

It’s actually only when I suddenly realise, that they guy i’ve been chatting to, or dating, only see’s me as  a ‘bed notch’ or someone they daren’t date… It was only THEN…at that point, when I HAVE to  file the encounter under ‘casual,‘ and ‘take it on the chin,’ without being embarrassed.

So i’m accidentally, a sassy, sexy, modern day woman.

The ‘Brand’ goes alongside that….and that’s fine with me, as it makes me very ‘now.’ It gives me the necessary ‘street cred.’ I’m swag. I’m cool…I’m…Blah, blah….

You get it…

Y’see, when it comes to WORK, I am that. I’m fire. I’m determined. I’m ambitious. I’m a glamourous, kitty DIVA, sprayed over, in solid steel, showers of glitter. Champagne pops around me and naughty winks, fill my walk way…

When it comes to love…I’m the opposite.

I’m not someone who really wants random casual sex. I love sex. But i don’t play a numbers game. I want to feeel a connection.

Plus, If i’m honest, I can have sex with anyone… I have an inbox full of offers…almost every few minutes.

That doesn’t make me feel mighty. It’s flattering. I appreciate the ‘adoration..’ Of course I do….

If anything it stresses me out, because I think, ‘how the hell can I have so much attention and not find Mr.Right. That ONE MAN, who will truly love and treasure me forever?’

I’m ready to fall in love…

I’m just scared to….

It makes me anxious…

Anyway…

Away from all that…Sunday morning was great because before Meadowhall, I got to chatter to Lil’ Sam Reece. I shouldn’t call him ‘Lil’ as he’s pretty grown. He’s a good guy.  I’ve referred to him as ‘Tats’ on this blog before.

I like waking up on a Sunday morning to a Reecy phone ‘ping.’ We’ll just have brief morning banter. ..then get on with life. We chatter in ‘spits & spots’ a lot. We both always have really shit love lives…We’re both ‘Yorkshire.’ We actually get on well. It’s easy. We wired the same way. We have the same banter.. This Sunday we talked ‘car bonnets/hotels and flat caps.’ 

I was actually gonna meet him for drinks..But I ended up doing Meadowhall instead and he ended up doing boy drinks…

But he’s a good guy. So I have a lot of respect for our Sam. He’s a good buddy…I’d see Sam as the kinda guy, i’d go for a drink with and kiss in the elevator when no one was looking. Haha!

(That hasn’t happened, by the way, before you all get excited. But i’d definitely kiss him in an elevator…It’d be a waste of ‘sexy’ people, if not. I don’t like to waste sexy people. You only live once.)

Right! I’m off!

Have a fantastic Tuesday!!

I love you.

Chrissie x

ps/ I’m about to step up my game…So strap in!

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Tats, Dates & What I Fancy…..?

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Hiya!!! We’ve made it to FRIDAY!

FRINALLY, Baby!!!

(As my five year old son, Junior..would say. 😉 ) 

Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)

It is THE WEEKEND!! (Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…

is a SIN!!

I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!

Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*

I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. 😉 A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.

That is my business…LIFE.

(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.) 

There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!

I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!

‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’

‘Wow, you parked like shit…’

Anyway!!!

Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…

Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.

YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.

Being ME

And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.

Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.

Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.

Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!

Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’

Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!

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So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.) 

I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! 🙂 Junior said…

‘Why is he nuts?’ 🙂

Haha…

But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.

He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’

Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’ 

Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many,  not grown yet…..boys…’

Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love you  guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’

Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’

Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’

And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.

Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.

I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. 😉 Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…

(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. 🙂 ) 

But whatever…

Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.

‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)

All good! Roll on Tuesday.

I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!

Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…

It’s like…

Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!

Chrissie x

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All the F****

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PR: ‘I don’t know what the F*** you think you’re doing, with this whole impromptu *win a date for a dare* thing?  Lol…You can’t just go around doing his dares, if they aren’t….’

ME: ‘It’s fun! It just happened by accident on my *Ask Me Anything.* Don’t blame me! Blame Insta! Haha. He hasn’t done it yet! So far, it’s just banter. Relax.’

PR: ‘If he wins a date…’

Me: ‘He probably will, as I’d rather have a couple rums, than subject myself to disturbing Tom Foolery.’

PR: ‘Stop, fucking talking over me. Haha. If he wins a date…You’re taking security. You don’t even know him. I’m coming too.’

Me: ‘Ugh. It’s not a PR operation. *Oh! Hi, Winner! Meet my PR & this giant mountain of a man, who will head butt you, if you annoy me…Romance is alive.’ 

PR: ‘Does it look like he’s gonna do it?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He looks tattooey. He even sent me a picture of what he’s thinking about getting done! He looks like he gets inked every 2 weeks… 🙂 🙂 🙂 ‘

And with a roll of her eyes and wiggle from Wunna Land, laughter filled the room, after a three second *pause* of fear and worry.

People worry too much.

Don’t!! It’s STICKY.

I’m an adventurer. I’m a life spirit. Even though i’m much more sensible and tame in my old age…The flirty 30’s. The wild streak, is just something, you can’t scrub off with a loofah. No matter how hard to scrubble.

It’s these moments that bring ‘magic,’ back to your life. It’ll be a memory. A forever, memory! Plus, I think he SHOULD get rewarded for being so bold. Being so fun! I’m grateful for people like him.

I love excitement. I live for it….Of course, with a side of love and a ‘swing’ of a great handbag. 

To be honest…

..I actually, think i’ve been accidentally, CLEVER about all this. Yes, it happened by accident, but  I decided to EMBRACE IT. Lots of people don’t other. I try and engage and appreciate, ALL the time.

I’m an entertainer. But I’m an entertainer, a model, a blogger…of the NEW kind…FRESH SLIDES…

I’m the innovative kind, where YOU can actually come be a PART OF MY ‘SHOW.’ Be a part of Wunna Land. Do life properly and connect with me, as our life paths cross. This blog has literally turned into a written word, reality show. It’s interactive…It’s modern. It’s what I used to talk about 10 years ago..But now it’s kinda happening.

It’s cool…

That Psychic in West Hollywood..2004. At 7.19 pm. It was  Tuesday night in LA.

( I was in jeans and this shit read belly top, that read ‘Manteaser‘ on it, instead of ‘Malteasers. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WEARING!! And why did I start the blog with a F***, if I was just going to go ahead and swear anyway? Haha. Why do I bother, trying to be decent?)

Psychic: ‘You will start to write something, that will be the something that will eventually put your name in lights. Big lights… Opportunities, are gonna come your way..’

‘I’m a model. But I want to be a Popstar. I’ve just recorded a song with Capital Records..and..’

‘That will never happen. You’ll stay a model. You’ll actually become an actress. That is what you’re naturally good at. You’re a good model, because you’re a phenomenal actress. You’re a talent. But you’ll start to write something…and that is what will make you.You’re going to be a star. All I can see, is your name in lights…Do you have a diary?’

‘No…Anyway, what about my love life..’

( I walked out feeling unfulfilled.) 

WHY DO I ALWAYS RAMBLE!!!???!

Right. So yes! Lots of work. Lots of attention on my social stories right now. I thank you for that and all your messages of support! I put a lot into them…and I know it all seems ‘banter,’ but I do work hard for a ‘like‘ or a bit of ‘look at me.’ 

Hahaha…

..and without you responding, I wouldn’t have a story to tell. That’s why I love my ‘Ask me anything‘ because everyday, I get to learn about YOU,  from your questions, as you learn about ME. I actualyl never feel lonely because of it…

I love people…

Plus, with me NOT being as ‘out and about‘ as usual, due to my 21 day thing, it helps to keep my juicy flow of banter… alive.

I’m on Day 13! It’s almost getting harder now.

21 Days!!! Just Breathe OUT, Wunna!

(Lots of messages about this. But I just want to do it privately, for now. Then I’ll make you applaud me, once I know I’m steady, on good solid ground. 🙂 Oh and don’t fret. It’s not anything crazy. I’m not a massive druggie or anything. It’s just a habit, a wee little habit, that I needed to kick.)

Okay, to my love life…

(There’s literally not enough hours in the fucking day. I keep running through, all the things that I need to do, before the school run!! Utilize time! Utilize, time!  

So! Remember that I told you that I was going to meet ‘The Gent’ on the 18th, for a ‘friendly’ meet up. Well, it’s kinda like a date…but without the rigid formality. My chick friend wanted him to stand me up, because she wanted me to delusionally pine over ‘T Bone.’

I sent ‘T Bone’ a message yesterday. He opened and maybe with a shrug of disinterest, he didn’t respond. He had better life ‘tings’ to do. Haha.. He usually replies…Briefly. So he’s either just focusing on work, doesn’t fancy me anymore, busy, or is with someone…

Simples…

Break it down, Chicks!

*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…*

‘The Older Gent’ who sent me his first message a couple weeks ago, got in touch with me over the last few days and has no intention of ‘standing up’ Wunna Land. In fact, he seems pretty organised. He seems pretty ‘together.’ Pretty stable and grown. He seems reliable. He works hard. He kept his word. He’s a father. Ex Pro Footballer. Retired. Now a pundit.  But most of all, he seems to care about my potential ‘maybe’ needs? He’s attentive. He’s nurturing. He’s really intelligent, without being boring. He’s flying in for work, from a different nearby country.

He seems lovely…

…and that’s refreshing, because the guys I meet, usually care about themselves FIRST, before anyone..Well any chick, that is. Or maybe, it’s just me? I’ve never really encountered any decent gent, (aside from one) who knew how to care for me, or look after me, without a prompt. Or without reading from the ‘Charm Script.’

Maybe that comes with age?

No, that’s wrong. I’m not ageist. It comes from life experience. Being lovely and respectful is just something you are. It’s not something you do because of an age.

T Bone is actually ALSO, lovely and respectful. But, right now, he needs to do him…and IS. I can’t knock him for that. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dying a legend. Deservedly. However, what he doesn’t realize is that he already will. A great deal of people, including myself, respect what he’s already achieved in his life. I’m inspired by him.

(He’s occupation is also…football. He’s moved to the other side of the world, right now.) 

Anyway…That’s T Bone…aka The Swirl.

Back to ‘The Gent’….

On the 18th,  I’m going to meet The Gent in Liverpool, after he’s flown in and worked. I’ve never met before? I don’t know him?

Me: I need a new outfit and new hair!

Lizzie P: ‘Why do you need to spend so much money on looking good, when he’s only going to treat you badly, in the end? They always start off being lovely. T Bone was FILLED with loveliness and excitement at first.’

Me: ‘Hi. I’m Chrissie. I’m a glamour puss. You know that! I don’t live LIFE, like that! I want to look nice. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn’t then..Hey I looked fabulous! He’ll remember that! Haha.’ 

Lizzie P: ‘We’ll see…’

Then she shakes he head at me and walks off. Lol.

So much is going on? Real Dates. Old Flames. New Habit Breaks. Tattoo challenges.. Insta Love. All the work. Good friends. Family. Babies…

All sorts…

I kinda need a vino…

Chrissie x

Ps: Miss. (Does PR) Murphy, was on a late night train from Yorkshire to Essex last night, after approximately ‘seven wines’ and got excited about my MadLipz, Voice Over App. An app where you can put your own voice and words, over famous movie & tv scenes. I’m addicted. Mine have been ACE.  She downloaded the app. on the train, last night,en route to Essex, after a…

‘WTF is this??’

It ended like this…

‘Shit! I just opened it on the train and it was some violent swearing scene! Hahaha.’

I’m sure she was fine. Everyone loves a ‘seven wines and swearing’ combo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dares For A Date, Road Beef & 21 Days..

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Today is ace. Sunday is always my favourite day. It’s like a peach and Malibu cocktail, with a tangy thong of ‘ooh.’ There’s a chilled sweetness to it, isn’t there?

I’m feeling wonderful. I’m looking better than I thought. 😉

*Purr Here…*

I can’t remember if I told you? But i’ve been breaking a bad habit? I might have said it on my Insta Story instead? But, without me going into it, because I’m weird like that (lol.) I’m SO open, about everything, all sorts, literally enough to make you blush and call a Doctor. HOWEVER, if I NEED to ‘conquer‘ something personally, that i’m gonna find a bit of a ‘TASK,’ I’ll always do it privately, under my ‘hush hush‘ brolly, like an insecure, oriental pixie.

(I’ll only tell a couple people, who I know won’t nag me about it. I hate ‘naggers.’ I’m too rebellious, once I hear a ‘nag.’ They get me all guns blazing, with my knickers in a tight, diva twist.)

Anyway. I’ve just passed Day 10, of my ‘breaking’ of bad habit & I’m really proud of myself, because I really didn’t think I could even get this far! Haha. FFs.

First Week Smashed. Ping off that bra and shout a Hail Mary!

I’ve said it before, it takes 21 days to break a habit…COLD TURKEY. (Use this when it comes to anything emotional, physical or mental. It’s a game of will power.)

21 DAYS!

I’m not far off now. So when I get to Thursday Sept 20th… I’ve done it. I’ve hit it. I’ve smacked it’s little booty and winked at it on the ‘naughty step.’ 

I’m actually going to treat myself after that. Like a reward for conquering a ‘glamour pussy’ demon.

What do they say?

‘Strength doesn’t come from doing what you can already DO! It comes from accomplishing the things, you never imagined you could conquer…’

Something, i’ve done all the way through my life. I always say, i wish you could see into my head and witness, all that i’ve seen all through my life.

(Currently getting a Flashback or riding down the escalator, outside Crunch Gym, on Sunset Blvd, in West Hollywood, with Joseph Fiennes, who was in town to film a movie. I think it was ‘Running with Scissors?’ He had a baseball cap on and was telling me he was Irish? Weird time to flash back THAT moment??) 

I was only a 23 year old kid. We’d been flirting for about a day…Lol.

You know what I’m like. I was all a flutter…He just probably thought I was fit…or cute…or whatever? ‘Road Beef’ is what I used to call my LA chick friend Jen. Hahah. (She used to always date these sportsmen. These athletes.  These American football players & Baseball Players.)

I’d always date an Actor, or a model…Yet, only because they were the ONLY guys around me, really….

Jen: ‘I’m driving to Anaheim today..I’m gonna go see him. He’s BBM’ed me.’

Me: ‘Haha. Don’t do that! You’re totally Road Beef. Lol’

(Even though I would do the same. I just wear my little heart on my sleeve and I always have. I like that about me though. I’d rather be that, than be incapable of loving. To me, that’s a travesty. A life without true love, is no life at all.) 

She’s finally happy, settled (Girls settle down much later in Hollywood)  and she’s just had her first gorgeous baby. I’m still…well..probably ‘Road beef’…But with a family…Haha.

I’m headed into a lucky time. A juicy time. A good time of work, excitement and new adventures. You know how much I love an adventure. My spirit is wild. I never want to feel tamed. There’s a lot of opportunity a brewing for us all and it’s making me feel delicious. I have a lot of news and I’ve changed everything around ‘personally,’ for it.

There’s something in the air, in Wunna Land, right now. The babies and I can feel it.

Even Ruby has a glint in her eye…

(She’s like a machine of magic, that girl…She’s grown straight into being….Lil’ Miss.Wunna, I guess? You wouldn’t think, but it’s kinda by accident, because I always encourage the kids, to simply BE THEM. But hey..If the crown fits? 😉 )

I will tell you, that I thought I was gonna have a quiet Sunday of putting my Depop store together. Yet, I got side tracked, because during my ‘Ask Me Anything‘ on Insta…a guy propositioned me to a GAME OF DARES….

I’m up for a dare. Why not? It’s life…

I came straight in…with a…

‘If you get my initials tattooed on you..’ (fyi, I don’t know this guy personally, at all..He’s a big Wunna Land Fan and I love that!) 

He immediately took the challenge,

‘I’m next in Thursday evening for ink, so I’ll film it being done, then send it to you…’

WHAT! WOW!

Then he came back and challenged me…

‘Ok, no problem…But then you’ll have to do my dare…’

If he went through with it….(Do know that it was just banter…I just said it to terrify him…But he wasn’t scared. Lol) I told him he’s win a date, if he did…and he will, if he does…

However, he would have to chose between DATE or Dare.

His Reply…

*Hit Play…*

SO, IT’S ON!!!

I love a challenge. I’m not backing down. If he wins, he’ll WIN A DATE. (Something that as a Wunna Land Fan, he’s requested for months.) If I win, he pretty much said…

We’ll see! Let’s play! I love that he had a sense of adventure. It’s yummy. More guys are scared of me, than they are bold, with me. I like it. There you have it. I’m playing ‘Dares For A Date’ with a Wunna Insta Story Fan.

Makes sense to me! Lol. Yay! SUNDAY!

What did you get up toooooo? 

I’ll be seeing ya! I’ve got work to do…

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Ps/ Junior got a ‘Special Mention Certificate’ on Friday at school. 😉 Miss. Murphy (who I love,) sent me a message, after reading my blog. (Our babies are in school together…) Her baby son Ray, told her, that Junior got called up for his mini certificate, but was too terrified to walk up and receive it. His best, school buddy friend, saw this and walked him up there, to help him feel bold. Awww! How magical! It melted my heart. It gave him all the confidence he needed. I love Miss. Murphy…He’s like the liquor in your cocktail..Not just the garnish. 😉

 

 

 

New Dates, Mates & Old Flames…

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LA Bestie: ‘How the hell are you still alone’

Me: ‘Haha. Wow! Cheers. Stop saying ALONE at me. I’m fine. FFs.’

LA Bestie: ‘I actually meant ALIVE. Lol. I really did.’

Me: ‘Oh? That…I definitely don’t know! Just lucky aren’t I. 😉 I need a fresh orange juice..’

LA Bestie: ‘What?? Honestly. What has happened to you?? Dead to me. Orange juice?’ 

Me: ‘IN MY MALIBU, you idiot. I don’t order juice.’

How’ve you all been? I’ve had to take a few days off blogging, because work, auditions. socializing, surprises, shocks and single mum life sped into a WHOLE different lane and I was pretty much slow jogging in stillettos behind. If i didn’t hit *pause* I would’ve lost the plot!

I like to keep on top of things. I’m not one to lag behind with ease… 

I hate not managing things appropriately. It stresses me out.

So yeah, right now, my life’s not easy.  I’m happy. But it ain’t easy. It’s a really hard juggle, to be honest. But THANK GOD, i’m back to ‘tipper tappering’ at my laptop, because I swear, it’s my saving grace. (Well, once I get my ‘swing’ back, anyhow. At first it’s shit and definitely feels like it needs rum cocktails pouring all over it.)

RUM TING PLEASE…

I’m just gonna jump the gun and tell you that I got this voice note, the other day, that followed a message. Remember I told you that a few weeks ago, a guy, a lovely older gentleman, had tinkered into my DM’s.

I’ve hardly ever been on a date with anyone older than me…I don’t know why? Maybe because my surroundings are always young. The last older guy, that I actually went on a date with…was Matt Dillon..whilst I was in LA. 

Crackers innit!

(Wait, I’ve lied. both ‘London Business Man’ and ‘Eton Mess’ were older than me. Yet, only by a couple years…They kinda seem boyish in comparison to the ‘voice note’ guy Yet, they’re both happily in relationships now…& I’m happy for them, as they certainly weren’t right for me. I can be treated better than that.) 

ANYWAY….The Gentleman..

He initially messaged me with a picture and then a couple voice notes…and I liked it, because hearing someones voice makes a difference. (Not my awful voice though.) But it’s true…A voice or a video helps a connection… doesn’t it?

I felt that he was SO polite and gentle, yet sweet and fun. He was really respectful. He wasn’t smutty. He led with his romantic foot forward. And I am ever so used to hearing smut, or the game of charm.

I mean, remember that also a couple weeks ago, a German footballer, slid into my insta DM’s…and was pretty much the opposite. He started with the usual ‘you’re beautiful’ stuff…then led it straight to the land of Smut.

I get that…it’s fine…However…

..at that point, I just ignored him…cos whatever…I’m too old for that shit.

Anyway, the other guy, who I always label a ‘gentleman.’ (I say label, because I haven’t actually spoken to him much and I’ve certainly never met him.) Back to the point..He sent me a message at the weekend…Was it Friday? AGAIN, followed by a voice note.

I like a surprise voice note..or video.

It helps me connect faster…(I’ve said that already, haven’t I?) 

Weeks ago, and I did blog this, he had asked if I’d like to go on a ‘friendly dinner,‘ with him, to ‘say hi, properly.’ He doesn’t live in the country, yet obviously he ventures to the UK quite a lot with work. His occupation…Pundit. He’s a retired footballer.

I should balls and a nets for my yard of milkshake, as it seems they’re the only guys that want to play Wunna Land, right now? They find me..

So, I get this message, at the weekend, saying that he’ll be over here on 18th…for work and it would be lovely to meet me.

Wow! Impressed!

I get asked out quite a lot…(that isn’t meant to sound conceited…it’s just the truth and we love a bit of truth in Wunna Land.) I always say ‘no.’ Or just ignore the message. I mean, I must be a sucker for eternal loneliness, because I definitely would love to find my Mr.Right, yet I ignore everyone who DM’s me. Lol.

It’s because i’m a happy singleton.

I’m never miserable about single life. I enjoy life. I still enjoy love. I’m just one of those chicks, who is sure my Knight will saunter up out of nowhere…one day, when he’s had his tea and ready. 

Fate will force him to…

Anyway, I haven’t ignored this ‘gentleman.‘ I need to give him a nickname, don’t I? That’ll come. Yet, bottom line…I’ve agreed to go meet him for ‘friendly dinnering,’ simply because he was so utterly and sincerely sweet to me via voice note. He treated me really normally, yet like a lady. He sounded nurturing and I love nurturing ‘I’ll keep you safe ‘ kinda men.

So, we’ll see what happens…I’m open to it..

I feel like i’ve had this really fun Summer of debauchery and irresponsible, sunshiny behaviour. We’ll all remember Summer ’18. It was fun. Yet, I kinda miss focusing on what i’m doing. Glamorously, of course.  I love what I do and I love what I have…and I’m really lucky, to have the mini opportunities, come my way…Hopefully, one day, the mini ones, will turn into BIG ones.

If i’m being honest…

I kinda started to feel stifled, over the last couple weeks and I’ve been on the search for excitement and adventure. A new chapter, with more balance. You’re a product of your environment..I was becoming one…and not being a chick to enjoy the ‘same old ting,’ I got my balance sorted.

I found me a new chapter..

(…and it took nothing but determination.. Something I am oozed in.)

I’ve been with my family. (My strength.)  I’ve been with the kids. (My world.) I’ve worked hard, (my passion)… auditioned lots (my challenge)..and still managed to cocktail my way to happiness, whilst being over eyelashes, boobied and fully lipped. (Just who I am.)

Let’s *clink* wine glasses to that!

Summer 2018, was really important to me, because I learnt a lot about myself…and I was actually a little broken hearted, through it. Hence why I celebrated, enjoyed and drank a lot. Well, I say broken hearted…but I began with a solid stance. Then emotionally ventured to ‘all over the place,’ which led me to naughty fun (because of course I’m that way inclined..) and was left with my eyes open...WIDE open…my ears a listening (they could hear everything once more)…and as I screwed my head back on, bundled up my heart strings, back into my hands, ready for the next round of blissful, romantic tugging…I realized that my mind, my gut…my body…my everything…just kept lulling back to, reflecting back to…and utterly missing….(back to…lol)…..

..The Swirl.

(Who I renamed ‘T Bone.’)

So, I know that i’m not gonna to go through life, without encountering ‘T Bone’ again…I mean, I might do? But I doubt it, because we get on so well…

My gut just tells me…

Yet the timing of it all…. ‘our ting,’ has always been off. Life has never cut me some slack with that old timing shindig. But I’m willing to see and willing to wait on it.

Right now, he’s no where near me, he recently moved to another country for work…and he’s pretty focused on that and doing his version of life out there.

So, now that i’ve done my Summer of ‘heartache’ (lol…a heartache, that I didn’t realize was happening…) I’m pretty ready to explore…and let my little kitty eyes, take a peeky and who else, of DECENT POTENTIAL…that i’m attracted to… is a knocking?

Right?

September 18th…’Friendly dinner,’ here I come…

Ps? I keep getting a Flashback of Ms.Derry, being sat on the  ‘door wide open’ loo, with her leopard print shorts down by her ankles, as she wee’d, told me she fractured her hand, because she fell, whilst flamenco dancing down the pavement. She was in those shorts, that night too.

Then she wiped up, jumped up, pulled this make up stamper thing, out of her hand bag and stamped my hand with a tiny, black love heart.

It was beautiful. Made me smile.

Be beautiful always…