Boobs, Wedding Season & Single Life…

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Morning! I’ve had to have a couple days off because everything has gone manic. If there’s an insane work schedule, there’s peace for a moment, then an explosion of ‘home life’ drama. I’ve been up. I’ve been down. I’ve been at auditions, one minute. At drinks with friends, another minute. In meetings Out of meetings. Even at A&E.

Yippeee! Hospitals Rock!

This year, i’m being great to my family and shit  to my friends. But because i’ve been putting work first. Yet, people always will catch me. I mean, i’ve seen KatyP all lot, for drinks. I lunched with ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ on Monday. Yet, in those moments, when people do *catch me* everything looks really calm and serene…

BUT OH MY GOD…

As soon as I swing back out of the door, IT GOES BACK TO NUTS…and it’s something that people don’t understand, unless you do my job. I separate and categorize things, so when i’m at work, I work. When I’m with friends…I chill. When I’m in love…I do love.

(I’m currently extremely SINGLE by the way…and if i’m honest, i kinda LOVE IT. I’m ignoring my DM’s. I’m not talking to any guys. I’m waiting for Mr.Right. Not Mr. Almost Right. I’ve wasted too much time on ‘almost.’ It’s not good enough..and now I don’t even care. I’m the happiest, singleton in all the land. I know what i’m worth and I feel like i’m doing really well, right now. I’m in a really great career position, with a hopeful glitzy future. I’m doing what I love. I feel powerful. I’m beaming. It’s gonna take SOME man to cowboy stagger into Wunna Land and try and win my *cold stoney* lol… loving…kitten heart…over. Unless, you’re Adam from ‘Love Island’…You can stagger into Wunna Land at anytime you want mate… 😉 )

Wahey! No pants for anyone!

Right! So on Saturday, i went to my friend Vicki’s wedding.

It’s wedding season folks.

Now, I usually hate going to weddings. I love the reception, the drinks and the party. But I usually hate the ceremony part. I don’t know why, I do? Maybe because it triggers evil memories in my ‘married three times’ soul. 😉

However, this time, something changed…and I didn’t hate it. I couldn’t wait to go. I couldn’t wait to see her. She’s a great soul. A beautiful girl and she’s literally someone who goes out of her way to make people happy, if she loves and respects you. I like that. She’s someone I trust. Someone I find utterly honourably. (And she’s hot.)

I arrived at Rogerthorpe Manor at 10am. Went up to her suite, (Suite 14) to find the cutest bride maids tottering around, still in their comfies….bedding in their shoes…There was a hair stylist, a makeup artist, flowers, dresses, silver trays of Bucks Fizz and a calm, merry wedding day swirl, meandered around the room..

Me: ‘How are you so calm. Why are you not being nuts? I’d be crying into a gin my now.’

She was a dominant bride. (She knows what she wants and YOU WILL do it.) But she’s weirdly at the same time…really laid back. She’s happy.

Anyway, I got a ride to Selby Abbey..where her wedding would take place (under a strict ‘no selfie taking or drinking beforehand’ rule) and her cousin Toby, with his HOT BLOND of a girlfriend Laura…had to have ME, as their ‘tag along ALL FUCKING DAY. Lol.

I mean, imagine having ME as your third wheel. I usually ruin lives. 🙂 What could me more of a nightmare. Luckily, all three of us, even though their East Londoners, are built from the same boozy, flashy, fun dripped glitter bricks. I got them. They go me. ALL three of us got on straight away. (I mean there was a point where we’d made Laura ‘smash’ her fishbowl drink down, whilst chanting at her..So we could hurry up and slip into Toby’s  BMW, to drive away from Selby Abbey, to our new destination, with DIZZLE RASCAL…a playing. 🙂 )

This is what we were playing…So you can feel our mood too…

Toby: ‘I’m an actual certified BMW driver.’

Me: ‘Ace! Cos you’re in the oncoming traffic lane.’

Toby: ‘Oh shit!! Haha.’

Laura: ‘Everyone’ll think you’re mad!’

Toby’s an East London, cheeky chappy. A car salesman. He’s fun. He’s naughty. But he loves and looks after his girl. Laura’s blond and beautiful. She’s a total weapon. She tells it how it is. She can drink like a pirate, and look like Miss.World at the same time…and with all our powers combined…to say we had only just met…we HAD LITERALLY the best time in EVER!!

Spanks, Boobs n’all….

The wedding was regal and magical, because firstly….Vicki is someone who really deserves this…and by ‘this,’ I mean ‘her own version of happiness.’ Not because she needed or wanted it so badly. But because, she served life well and ‘in return’ life cut her some slack. I watched both Guy and Vicki say their ‘I do’s and I was so honoured to be there. AND I got to sit next to my old school friend Rich Ritucci and his wife Pamela. (We weren’t good at singing hymns…and mainly because it wasn’t Britney? And we might have talked about ‘Love Island’ a bit, before it started. And I might have also selfied.)

RULE BREAKER.

I mean, there I was…sat  in the most stunning Abbey, in the most inappropriate dress. ( I was in a flowy, lilac, all my boobs out, in an a place of worship‘ kinda dress. I didn’t burst into flames though? So God must have liked them. 😉  MY BOOOOOOBS WERE OUT!

Laura: ‘You broke all the rules. Haha. As if you wore that to a wedding…Lol’

Me: ‘Fuck it. I’ve done it now, haven’t I. Haha.’

Once you’ve done something. You HAVE TO commit to it, without explanation or justification. That’s what a glamour puss does.

(Laura was in spanks. I went to the loo with her, after having a ‘who can down their prosecco faster’ competition, with one of the other guest, on a pretty lawn, by a stone lion….so she could appropriately adjust them. Spanks are the bomb. They’re your new sexy best friends. Well..yours. Mine’s Paris Hilton. Hahah.) 

CONFETTI. (I forgot to being confetti.) MERRIMENT. (I did ‘merry.’) MAGIC. SELFIE TAKING. SUNSHINE & LAUGHTER, OCCURRED.

Then just like that after a quick drink…we got back to the hotel to do a BIG DRINK. 🙂 I like it when weddings get to the drinking part. The celebrations. We stood on the lawns of Rogerthorpe Manor, on the sunniest day, by gazebos, stone lions, with a first class service, the most fantastic violinist playing and everyone dressed to the nines, as fresh prosecco was poured for the ladies and the guys could grab a beer.

It was all hats and bliss…as picture taking took place.

Now, i’ve always said that i’ve never really been to a wedding where I haven’t been the Bride and let me tell you..

IT IS BLISS. I might never be a BRIDE AGAIN!!!

(Jasmine: ‘I cannot ever imagine you with a husband. I don’t even know how you’ve managed to fit three in already. Wunna belongs to no man.’)

Being a GUEST is ace because you have no responsibilities. No fuss. No stress whatsoever. You just show up, look pretty, be fun, drink, eat and dance.

I CAN DO THAT!!!

And I never have to totter out the joint, thinking, how the hell am I going to do another 80 years with this dude! 🙂

But you do need company, so I was grateful that I had Toby & Laura, because I shimmied up to the wedding on my own and they couldn’t have looked after me better!

Just so you know, I’m not one to ‘bring a Plus 1,’ either. I find it more awkward, then helpful. But if you know me personally, I have a great group of friends, but I really love doing things ON MY OWN, at times. I’m creepy like that.

I think it’s because i’m firstly around people all the time, so I find my own peace and secondly because i’m quite a confident chica. 😉 I love my own company. I’m REALLY independent. I’m the best person I know.

Hahaha.

I’m not afraid of anything…

Then out of nowhere, whilst i’m sipping my Prosecco…after the ‘downing’ competition that I told you about earlier, by stone lions to violins….Neil (Guy The Groom’s mate, saunters up to me…Everyone kept sauntering up to me because my boobs were like a ‘Top Shelf‘ display..it was almost like I forgot to wear a top… Anyway…Neil…)

Neil: ‘I’ve got a bone to pick with you..’

Me: ‘No you don’t? Haha. Which bone?’

(The last time I saw Neil, we were in a hot tub with Guy and Vicki…And Guy was trying to make me date Neil.) 

Neil: So you know this blog that you write…’

Me: ‘Yeees.’

Neil: ‘Well someone sent me the link to it, so I could read about the last time we met…and you said that I FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘No I didn’t.’

Neil: ‘You did. I read it. And I never did FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘Whatever.  I would’ve never put that, because well ..that didn’t happen……I don’t just make up stuff…Haha.. You’ve got it wrong..’

Then we had to filter onto the lawn for pictures. whilst guzzling wedding prosecco and getting ready for the reception dinner, after adjusting Laura’s spanks…

And it was at that point….on the sunniest day in Yorkshire…that magic swirled…

To be continued…

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When guys are like…………

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I’m in such a GOOD MOOD today!!! I’m like a juicy little bubble berried  with excitement. You could just *squeeze* me and I’d *POP* confetti, with *squeaks* of laughter and shrieks and ‘ooh laa.‘ Then champagne showers would simply start roaring out of nowhere, as let’s face it it’s Wunna Land. Glasses would be poured.  ‘Handsomes‘ would be winking…. and I would just strut forward, knowing that my version of life just seems to be getting better!

To be fair, after that really shit 2013…or was it 2014? I’ve blanked out deliberately. Lol. One of those years was SHOCKING. After that point…MY LIFE, just changed and I became the luckiest chick ever.

Then at the beginning of 2017 my mentality changed…new people entered Wunna Land. I became closer to people who I never knew I would be so close to….Then my life changed again…and Right now,because I whopped out that sassy Wunna ‘Gusto’ and decided to just  do the things that made me happy, without fear…2018 has ended up (so far) being one of the best years of my life….

YIPPPPPPPPeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE!

I’m in the most wonderful mood, for no real reason and it’s fantastic because I feel ALIVE! I’m ‘happy go lucky’ by nature. I’m the frill in ya twisters. The *pop* of that champers spray. I’m giddy…I’m great. I’m like a little girl, that’s filled with charm….I’m celebrating life and no one can stop me. And the most wonderous thing about my Tuesday, is the simple the fact that today…I have NO PRESSURE! I’m freeeeeeeeeeee!

So, I’m feeling like a Winner! ( Chicken! Chicken! Dinner!)

To me ‘balance’ is one of the most important things that I measure when it comes to success. (I nearly typed ‘ ‘when it comes to sex‘ then. Lol. How ‘Cougar‘ of me. I can’t wait until my ‘Cougar’ days kick in. I CAN REALLY. I’D HATE IT. After financially and emotionally looking after every single man in the entire world, that Cupid has FORCED me to date…or Life has MADE me cross paths with….A little lost boy, with no job, is not gonna make my wish list. Ever. And I don’t even care. Lol. I can like what or who I want….

At this point in my life, I very much want to be taken care of emotionally, mentally, physically and by a grown up man that I don’t have to pay for. That’s always good, isn’t it! And i’ve noticed that the more successful I’ve become, the more ‘lost little boys, with no job‘ come a knocking.

‘Meal tickets are the other way…Nope…No…Wait…Turn around…A bit to the left…Oh yeah and keep on walking darling…Don’t look back now, you cheeky little thing. Wunna land’s door is FUCKING SLAMMED….beautifully shut. 😉  Oh the kids are swearing at you, from the rosy tinted windows.’

What has happened to men?

I mean, the ‘Little Lost Boy’ aside….It doesn’t take much to value your girl, guy, wife, partner or fancy piece and treat her with both respect…AND like a Princess! 😉

ITS NOT THAT HARD!

I mean my guy friend, the other day was moaning about how  we chicks are all ‘trying to be independent’ now….(He took a chick out on a date, made her pay for THEIR meal and then ‘boned’ her in the back of a car.)

Romance is alive….Shakespeare couldn’t have written it better himself.

We girls have always been independent. Not only have some of us wanted to be. But we’ve also HAD to be.

I’m adventurous and fun by nature. I moved to LA by myself as a kid to chase dreams. That’s my ‘WANTING to be’ independent streak. But my ‘HAVING to be‘ independent streak is still utterly alive, because i’m a lone parent of two little babies…I’m Mum, I’m Dad, I’m Love, I’m Money. I’m everything!

At first that wasn’t by choice. Yet now….It’s great and it’s made me feel powerful… and if I love anything, I love feeling powerful. Lol.

It’s a turn on. (Sick I know.) But I go for that in guys also? I have no clue why, other than sickness? However, yes, I’m totally turned on by it….BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SOUL AND RESEMBLE A DELICIOUS PIECE OF EYE CANDY. 🙂 (Meaning not some big grizzle, ancient years older than me, evil pervert, with 22 beer bellies and a boner.)

I like a well rounded, fun, loyal, loving man. The ‘power’ things is only a sexual turn on. I don’t want you to get it twisted. Lol. It’s not an essential trait that they need. Lol. In the bedroom…I’d find that REALLY SEXY. But like I said, they have to be of the ‘handsome’ variety…You can call me ‘shallow’ for that….and…well..I won’t care. Lol. It’s what I fancy.

Everyone loves eye candy. Some people just like to look at eye candy. I like to find eye candy, with an amazing personality, that would make a good hubbster …and just make him MINE. 🙂

Italiano: (My LA Friend..) ‘She pretty much grew up in Hollywood around a bunch of guys. We were all roomates. Models, actors, lawyers, agents… But it was definitely ALL guys and Chrissie…So she kinda picked up a Hollywood dudes mentality when it comes to dating… And it’s fucking awesome. She was the best roomie I ever had!’

(We all just had so much fun. I cannot even begin to TELL you the stories. But they’re scattered throughout my blog… through the years….I loved that at 20, we could just show up to an audition, do really bad at it and then simply say ‘Fuck it’ go to The Standard, order 4 poolside strawberry margaritas and make ourselves feel better, before our next audition.)

I’ve gone on a flipping tangent!

What was I even on about? Balance? Or things I like i guys? I forgot about it all, because I was too busy *bobbing* away with cocktails at ‘The Standard.’

When it comes to men…their spirit needs to play well with mine. I want them to be my best friend. They have to be a family man. I have kids. They are part of my package. I love a laugh. I love a thoughtful person. I love sexy. I LOVE SEXY. Smart. Vain. I love ‘good times.’ But I love to chill and even if I fancy treating myself to utter glamour pussy, dressed ‘to the nines’ luxury, (which I adore,) I also love to just slum it and banter in my comfies…with a takeout.

When it comes to ‘balance’ true success to me, is when someone has everything…Happiness, health, wealth, a career they love, their dream partner, maybe even a family…and it’s all easy and all beautiful.

When I see a man who has that…I see him as ‘Successful.’

(I mean, what’s the point at winning at ONE thing, if during that time, you managed to lose everything else….?)

I learnt that early on in life in LA, when I was about 23. It was a very hard ‘learn.’ Hahaha. I cried a lot for a while…then cried over useless wilies….;)

Throwback convo….Do it in your best American accent….

Christine: ‘What the fuck is up with her…?’

Theo: ‘It’s fine, leave it. She’s crying over a penis…’

I can’t be bothered to write anymore…I need an afternoon tipple…Or an adventure with friends! I met my good friend ‘House of Solo’ Magazines, ‘Big A’ yesterday. He’s on a diet and with an orange juice, showed me all the people he was booking for the front cover of his magazine. This was at Ego…(which is like my local bar.)

BUT…

I’m excited, because I’m actually at Ego this evening for dinner and drinks, with all the Mum’s of Ruby’s class/year…whatever you want to call it. It’s great because we’ve never really hung out with each other before. We only ever see one another in passing…So, it will be really lovely, to just sit down, eat, drink and be merry, and get to know some faces that I pretty much see everyday!

That’s tonight!

Kisses,

Chrissie. x