Life, Auditions & Guys….

So busy! So much work. But loving every minute of it. I have grumpy moments. Yet i’m shaking them off. Life’s too short to play silly sorts. If i’m being honest, it’s crazy how everything’s just changing for me work wise. I’ve hustled really hard for a really long time and i’m still at it…tinkering away. (I worked all day yesterday, took care of Ruby and Junior and then filmed an audition, before getting to up at five o clock this morning to work some more.) I’ve got my fingers crossed and all the hope in the world. God, I have all the hope in the world. There’s a glint in my kitten eyes. Yet something tells me that this time, it’s all going to be dandy.  It FEELS really good! Everything in life is all about how you FEEL and right now, i feel on top of the world. I’m smashing it. As a guy used to always say to me…

‘You’re on flames babe.’

I breathe out all the time, in disbelief because I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. But i’m getting there. I’m en route…I just need to focus and put some fire crackers in my frilles. 🙂

Anyway, even away from Wunna Land, so much is going on in the world. We all know that. But i’m someone who will always focus on the good and never give power to the bad. My soul is far too delicious waste my time on any negativity. So like I said in my last blog, it’s a great time to be a WOMAN. A ‘W.O.M.A.N’  (*Sassy* click here.) Feel powerful. There are so reasons for you to be happy. So own your womanhood.

I mean with everything that has come out about the Harvey Weinstein drama and all the women and men who have opened up about their own personal experiences of ‘sexual harassment’ in entertainment…(I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood, in the entertainment industry. I found myself in numerous situations where in which some guy in power, who would have my career dangling on a stick, right in front of me, would attempt to offer himself to me suggestively or try to make me offer myself to him suggestively, in order to gift me with my apparent ‘dreams come true.’ It happens all the time. Infact, it happened to me a month and a half ago, in England. Who do some people think they’re trying to kid?)

Luckily, I’m a tough cookie…and I’m not someone who would EVER…EVER surrender to such Tom Foolery. Especially being a Mum to a little girl. I’m a good human. I’m a sassy human. I don’t play like that. I have far too much faith in myself, timing, talent and in life. I don’t need to take shortcuts, because when I *bloom,* it will be done at the right time, the right way and with a good energy…a glittery happiness…an giddy warmth…a decent flair of panache.

But i whole heartedly stand by every single woman, that has come forward, be you Angelina Jolie, or Suzie from around the block…who has opened up and told their story, as it will keep your hearts safe and keep entertainment about creative talent and not about what some people feel they negatively NEED to DO, to get where they want to be. Say NO, to what we in LA used to label the ‘Casting Couch.’ It’s a disgrace! Believe in yourself and your own talents. Don’t panic. Don’t rush. You’ll get there. I promise. If you work hard, learn to be great at what you do and just be a decent person, who stays loyal to what they believe is right.

ANYWAY, I’ve got lost in the jumble. I’m meant to be telling you about my time with Inadequate Chris.

I filmed on Sunday with him in Park Square Leeds. We had the most amazing time and did the most amazing comedy sketches. We also filmed a few bits for Snapchat, to tickle their delightful new features. And soon you can delight in a bit of Inadequate Chris/Wunna Land hilarity. We work really well as a comedy duo. I’m not a serious person. I know how to have a good time. And even though he’s a lot shyer than I am…(He made us wait on a park bench for ages in Park Square, Leeds until a random gang of boys had left, before he would film his scene Lol) he’s a pretty great talent.

That day I learnt that I can talk nonsense with the greatest of ease, when a cameras put in my face, that we’re not the cast of Hollyoaks, that I might win a BAFTA and that everything ends in cocktails. (Remember, if I do anything, I only ever ask for a phone charging facility and some form of celebratory alcoholic beverage.)

After filming we walked up to the ever so glamourous Victoria Gate in Leeds ( I adore bouji. I love the Victoria Quarter)..Chris wheeled his push bike, with a backpack, tripod and camera shoved in it, as we chatted about our day of filming.

Chris: ‘You’re pretty likeable. There’s a likeability to you.’

The sun shone down on us and the wind was a little brisk. It was crisp. Traffic was everywhere, yet steady. I was talking about a guy a met earlier in the year,  his love life and a show I recently filmed…and then we finally got to the glorious Victoria Gate entrance, where life turns into luxury, the world surrenders to peace and you glamourously take that elevator up to Level 3, to Issho.

I love Leeds. I remember strutting through the streets at the end of the day, just feeling the air, the city and the buzz around me. It made me beam. It made me feel at home. Like the world was my oyster. It is SUCH a great city!

Now, Chris and I have ended up being quite good friends. We tell each other a lot. He’s currently dating someone new and adoring it. I mean they’re definitely in that initial ‘happy, but are we secure’ stage…he didn’t say that, but I know that. I watched him chitter about his girl and when he did, his eyes lit up. That’s how I know they are going to be okay. 🙂

I’ve said this before…and I got this from Josh the bartender. (He whispered it across a bar, as I sipped a salted rimmed margarita.)

A guy who loves a girl will ALWAYS PUT HER ON A PEDESTAL. No girl will ever compare to her. She’ll be his everything. And as a girl, you’ll feel it. You’ll feel on top of the world. And if you don’t….you’re not on that pedestal yet. You know when you are. But you know when you’re not. We as girls tend to make excuses for the guys at this point. Don’t….if you’re meant to be his Goddess, you will be!

I can officially state that Inadequate Chris, has merrily ‘pedestal placed’ his new girlfriend..So we decided to celebrate it with the finest Japanese lunch, cocktails and white wines. I adore the bouji peacefulness of Issho. It is filled with a magical swirl that lets your soul enjoy the finer things in life, yet it does it beautifully and calmly….Where you’re at your most ZEN. We chatted about everything for hours…and then tried to get the best value for money throughout the wine list and menu. (It’s a Yorkshire thing.)

Chris: ‘This is why I love hanging out with you. You always tell it how it is,  but make me feel good about myself. No, I don’t like wine.’

Me: ‘You’re such a Queen.’

(Do note…He’s ever so straight. Just gentle, like a Queen by nature. Almost emotionally Royal. I’m a glamour puss directed with a shimmie of absolute femininity. However, I have the most inappropriately masculine sense of humour. )

After we drank loads and spoke about life, under the Issho lights, I noticed that when it comes to love, he is certainly someone that I would label a ‘ love bunny.’ So he’ll adore a girl madly and want to spend every single waking minute of the day with them. In return, she has to adore him madly. And it’s cute.

I love love…but I’m an independent career girl. I’m romantic and loving…but as the saying goes ‘behind every great man is an even greater woman’ I am that woman. I can’t be asred cooking ya tea, but i’ll make you the greatest man alive!

Nothing is better to me than empowering people to be the best they can be. I do it positively. There’s a cheeky warmth about it all. It’s not evil. I love bringing the best in folk,  who don’t actually realise how amazing they are!

Anyway, I’m exhausted. I’m off to bed. I’m working all day tomorrow, the kids are on a school trip and I’ve got 2 more auditions, plus a book to write.  I’m pretty lucky. No. I’m really lucky. Hard work, pays off.

 

 

 

A Quick Wunna Land Catch Up….

What a weekend!! Wunna land is brimming right now. It’s tinkered with joy, my babies are delightful, the prosecco pours are everywhere, I’m as happy as can be, and work is hitting the ‘smashing it’ belt. (I have no clue what that means…just go with it.) For once, I finally feel as though i’m taking the elevator up the Ladder of Success, instead of slow crawling it, with stretchy legs and the odd ‘huffs and puffs.’ My elevator’s moving at a steady old pace, yet it’s filled with glamorousity, good timing and that flawless knacker of hard work, determination and talent. Cocktails are in the elevator tooo! It helps.

Anyway, I can’t remember what I did n Friday? What did I do? I worked. Hustle Barbie is now a vegan…she might have also convinced everyone else to be a glamourous vegan because we certainly watched suffer through the art of ‘being hung over’  and helped her celebrate  her new veganism by eating Vegetarian ‘Collin the Caterpillars. Sassy girl banter, then occurred which was decorated by a decent conglomeration of executive spikey  heels. Wine happened. Then it was finally all over.

I was actually meant to be travelling to London this morning on a six o clock in the morning train with Firmonnell for a lucky bit of filming. At the last minute it all had to get rescheduled, so we’ll be on a six o clock train some other day shortly, doing ‘glammy’ prosecco train breakfast and trying to look like we’re kittens, as opposed to looking like we may be doing the ‘walk of shame.’ I’m quite comfortable with my glamourousity. I’m a glamour puss. Kitten hood runs through my veins. Firmonnell, still needs to own up to her glamourousity. She’s got it. Oh she’s got it. She just needs to stick a feather in her hat and OWN it. (She was really shocked when she was described as ‘chatty, fun and attractive.’ If you knew her…you wouldn’t be shocked at all.)

Firmonnell: ‘You don’t half talk some shit Wunna, but i love you for it. You should have some job where you just constantly make people feel good about themselves.’

I do! I tell my rubbish story, so you all feel better about our OWN lives. Lol

Right now, it’s a GREAT TIME TO BE A GIRL RIGHT, SO MAKE IT YOURS! OWN IT. Slip on those heels and get your sassy booty strutting! You don’t need a guy to help you. As far as i’m aware…they need us. 😉

Anyway, I spent my weekend with my family. My Mum, my Dad, my brother and the babies. Dad a birthday. (Don’t know how old he is, but i love him immensely. I couldn’t have got luckier when it comes to having a wonderful pops. We have laughed and cried together and had the best time that any Daddy Daughter combo could ever celebrate. We celebrated.

I bought toys with the babies, we shopped, we lunched, I refueled at Prosecco Pit Stop in Doncaster, Junior found his inner ‘ooh laa’ and gave ‘good times’ the welly! He went for it! I’ve never seen him so happy. I kinda think it was because Ruby skedaddled off for a moment, because Pete (HER Daddy) also had a birthday, so he took her to the cinema, which left Junior playing ‘only child for once‘ with Mama…Me…..and boy did it turn BOUJI! Junior is SO MUCH FUN. It’s crazy. I can see my genes running through is system. Ruby’s SASSY like Mum. Junior’s FUNNY like Mum. I’m so proud of the babies. They are my favourite humans on this Earth Ball. (Which is quite handy, since I birthed them)

Anyway, good times and merriment…an audition and the organisation of a shoot.

Then Sunday peeked through my window…and before you know it, after a quick drive to Mercedes in Wakefield, I was back on a train to Leeds….I like the Sunday afternoon train to Leeds, as it’s filled with Prosecco girls.

Ten minutes, I was at my stop…..and with a flick of the big Hollywood hair and wink in my walk…I strutted my little self to Park Square, in Leeds….In leopard print…. to meet Inadequate Chris, for an afternoon of ‘comedy sketch’ filming….

In the Name of James…

I’m back! Sorry! I’ve been so busy working. Luckily towards the end of the year, it all pans out beautifully and I will finally be able to delight in having more time to do what I love…which is to tell my story…and blog!

I don’t even know where I ended up last. But since then my fabulous gay friend Liam ended up on my telly and I watched him tinker his looks on ‘Body Fixers’ on E4, to change a look that the masses believed resembled ‘Alan Carr’ to just ‘Being Liam.’ The thing about Liam (and I am quite close to him) is that he is a really talented entertainer. He plays it down well. But when I once went to watch him do his Cabaret type shimmies in Blackpool, I was astounded at how talented an entertainer he actually is. I guess, it’s always a surprise when people play things down. But as we know. I adore a talented human. It doesn’t matter what they do, I’m delighted by talented beings.

Anyway, on Monday, he invited me down to Viva Blackpool to be part of raising awareness and raising funds for the James Bulger Memorial Trust. It’s a charity really close to my heart, as being a Mum…I honestly can’t imagine how Denise (who is the mother of little James Bulger,) not only stays so strong, yet has managed to turn her personal experience, that the ENTIRE world would regards as heart breakingly tragic, into something so selfless and positive, in order to help others who may go through the same. I met Denise that night and she beamed at me with a smile and a warmth that was nothing short of true compassion and strength. It was such an honour. It was humbling.

The event was star studded! I’m a huge music fan. I’m a huge musical theatre fan also. So a gigantic show was put on, filled with the most heart racing talent…I mean I watched Lydia Lucy from The Voice (words cannot even describe how amazing her voice is), Connor Mckenna from Pitch Battle, Gary Barker who is currently on this years XFactor and The Jersey Boys, who you can’t help but fancy…You couldn’t even pick one NOT TO FANCY! Those boys can harmonize around me ANYTIME, in those fitted red blazers and squeezy tight dress trousers.  It was just a star studded swirl of Viva magic…Dinner, drinks…and an ambience that sizzled with life, love and sequins. (I totally had Pina Coladas. It felt very Pina Coladary.)

Anyway, the trek to Blackpool (even though I’m Northern) seems quite lengthy, it took hours. But I ended up getting there in time, working out on the promenade and dolling up to glamour puss in it in the name of James Bulger.

I was meeting Lisa (as in Appleton) there, who I’ve known for quite a long time now. In 2009, we were on TV shows at the same time, so we also know the same people. (We all did the circuit at that time) I am actually really good friends with Rex who was trapped in the Big Brother House with her during that time.

Her tyre busted en route to the event, so she ended up being late, so I totally stole her room at the New Osbourne, which was beautiful and laden with fluffy fresh sheets, champagne and a teddy bear! I know! How cute. I love it there. The service is impeccable. I’m a service girl. 😉

But when she arrived, and ‘Aaron the Pap’ had *papped* away during our entrance, we had the best time ever.

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We’re both Northern, we both know fun and how to have it,  we’re both the type of gals who see life as the ‘big picture.’ I remember speaking to her in the loos, as she produced a sassy bottle of cider from her handbag. (You know you’re northern when that happens.) Infact she chose the size of her handbag based upon it’s ability to hold cider. Lol. Anyway, the thing about Lisa is that she’ll talk about anything openly and I love that about her. She’s a really good soul and a person that never takes advantage of anyone. She’s giving. She gentle. But certainly not a push over. I like her a lot…and she delights in my glamorous HONESTY. 🙂 I had some of that cider and laughed along with her. I mean, a lot of people say a lot about her. She’s in the press almost every day. Yet when she’s 80, she’ll be able to look back upon her time and laugh, knowing that she lived and that she had the best time on Earth ever.

Liam, Lisa & Ryan Mira (who is her PR,) infact the lot of them…all shimmied off to ‘Peek a Boo’s’ after the event for a night of absolute ‘Drag Queen ‘ debauchery. I love a Queen. I used to ‘Piggy Back’ them outside The Abbey in LA, in my 20’s. Useful form of transport really. I was dating one of the bartenders at the time…and it was strange because my ‘Queen’ transport fancied him too. Lol. My transport secretly hated me. I thought she was a bit whippy around the corners.

As per usual, like everyone does, they tried to make me ‘Peek a Boo’ it with them, with a ‘We’re only going to be another hour, come on!’ (I’m lame now. I love to do cocktails etc and wink the night in luxury and glamourousity…But I don’t stay out. I like to go home, go back to the hotel and just go to bed or chill. Lol. I’m awful for it. Even my friends know…Once i’m done…and it’ll always be earlier than everyone else…I’ll just leave to put my comfies on.  Haha.)

Yet away from that, I’m so wise to the ‘we’re only gunna be’ line, that I should have it embroided onto my frillies.

Straight away I called my own taxi back to The New Osborne, because I knew I had a really early start in the morning and had to be up and on a six o clock train to Leeds for work. I went to bed around midnight….Snapchatted everything. Set my alarm for five o clock in the morning….(I kinda woke up every hour and didn’t sleep that well. But you do don’t you, when you know you’re away from home and need to be somewhere early. When you need to catch trains and all that jizzle.)

AAAANNNNNYWAY….Team ‘We’re only going to be an hour’ ROCKED BACK TO THE HOTEL at FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING, as my ALARM went off for ‘Wake Up.’

It actually sounded like they had the best time…They were laughing out loud and I was sliding out of my fluffy sheets with this random teddy bear, to get showered and do my face, after a nights sleep.

I was at the station and on the train as soon as their heads hit a pillow. Ofcourse my train got cancelled and I had to get on the 7.11am one instead, so I just sat, on my own, at a train station in Blackpool at six o clock in the morning chilling….

By 9am, I was back in Leeds and off to work. Lol.

I actually scrolled through Twitter quickly and saw that we were in The Mirror… and infact the Daily Star…

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Great times! Good fun! Amazing people. And more than anything, an evening dedicated to such an important and such a good good cause, the James Bulger Memorial Trust!

My heart honestly goes out to all Mums, children and families, who are going through or have been through the same….There was a lot of talent there and the place was celeb packed, but what an absolute honour to meet Denise Fergus, (James’ Mum) who couldn’t be a more positive soul. Watching her strength, gives you an immediate reality check and inspires you to reunite with your own inner Hero.

 

 

Cocktaily Happiness & Chicken Chow Wunna?

The best weekend ever. Just filled with everything that I’ve wanted to do and nothing that i’ve HAD TO DO. Bliss! I feel like a proper life solider right now, as its taken a long ass time to get to this point of ‘just feeling great.’ I’m really happy. I’m looking around me and feeling as though everything that I stand for, everything that I am, everything that I’ve accomplished or everything that I love is just great and I might not have everything in the world, but what I have is so good it’s priceless. It feel juicy and that *juice* is magical.

It’s weird because I always feel like I’ve achieved a lot. Career wise. Emotionally. All sorts. I’ve set myself goals throughout life and pretty much smashed them with a wink and maybe a bit of a wiggle. Yet, I guess, it important for people to not compare themselves to other people. A lot of people do that. The whole, ‘I don’t have what they have’ syndrome. But the real fact is, that you have what’s ours and you can create your own future. You’re always a decision away from that. Yet, it’s when you look around yourself and you see how great you’ve done, when you appreciate the good things in your life and flush away the shitty bits…it’s then when you start to feel good.

Do your life. Your way. Enjoy it. Do it the way you’ve always wanted. Say what you want. Life the way you’ve always wished. It makes you feel good and when you feel good….good things happen to ya. Simples!

People screw themselves over with the picture in their head of how their life is supposed to be. Absolutely be inspired. I’m really dynamic by nature. I’m someone who is naturally ambitious, but just not a dick. Get what you want. Work hard for it. But all the while you’re forgetting to smell the roses, know that you’ll never get to your happy place.

I had a busy Friday, yet it lead me into an awesome Saturday. I did a quick Friday night drink at Ego before home. It was cute because I was pissed off with work stuff and therefore expressed my pissed offidness to Bartender Josh. Yet I peeked to his side, one of his other young bartendery companions, was all blushy …but macho because a girl, a hot one that he really adores had walked into the restaurant. It’s cute to watch how guys react to a girl they actually really adore. Not a shabby one. One that they actually fluster for. It changes them. It’s weird. They worry about how they’ll come across. They don’t want to mess it up. Yet at the same time, even though their heart is all a flutter, they always try and play it cool. It was cute. I hope she adores him. (And me being a girl…I know she does. 😉 )

But  yes, i’ve had the best ‘lay in’s all weekend. I spent my Saturday with Ruby and Junior (My babies, The Wunna Babies.) We just did life, loved it and laughed through it. We shopped, we played, we lunched, we picked out our design for this years Christmas tree. We read to each other. We had a dance off. But more than anything we just loved. I’m SO lucky. I never take anything for granted, at all ever and it disturbs me when people do.

Yes, i’m sassy. Yes, I’m a bit of a swaggalicious bad ass. 😉 I’ll tell it how it is and i’ll do it with banter and glamorousity. But my soul is good. There’s a light hearted warmth to me. You’ll only ever know that if you’re near me, because you’ll feel it. I treat people well and I treat them well when i have the upmost respect for them. I treat them well even before that. That’s why I hate bad manners and people who treat others, or especially myself 🙂 shitty, because no one likes it, no ones deserves it and it doesn’t go well with a cocktails. I’m not trying to sound ‘Rainbow Brite’…it’s dull and not real, because let’s not get it twisted, if you were to push my ‘ DIVA’ button,

HA H’HAA!

You’d hate it.

Firmonnell and I have been texting all day. Big D (her Hubbster)  is sick, so she was looking for a ‘Motherly’ companion to do life with…away from getting the lergy. Ruby & Junior do Sunday’s with their Daddies..so this Mother has dresses to buy and cocktails to drink. 🙂 I’m at a charity event tomorrow in Blackpool, so I had to do last minute ‘dashing,’ writ this blog and then treat myself to booze afterwards. My night will be filled with dress fittings, warm baths and tanning. Yeah Dolls!

Firmonnell: ‘I’m in a shit play area.’

Me: ”I’m off to do cocktails.’

I’m getting loads of messages right now. I’m reading the good ones and frisbeeing away the bad ones. Anything that comes into Wunna land with a naggy tone of ‘eww’ or bad news get’s frisbeed. All that’s good….get’s embraced with kitten kisses.

Mel’s tripped over a hoover and cut her head open. Rocco my kitten is enjoying life in Wunna land. I’m excited for Christmas. I’m excited for the New year. I’m keeping things simple and not opening doors that don’t want me to open them. Good things feel like they’re coming. You know when you can just sort of feel it in the air? I can feel it, they’re coming.

Next Year…the career takes a step up. It’s an exciting time.

But all in all, what can I say, other than I have ACE guy friends. So Reuben, I’ve known him for millions of years. Since I was a teen. Normal people, would just have a Sunday roast and get on with their day. He could’ve had banter with his Baby Ramona. Made love to his girlfriend. But no…Reuben decides he’s going to create this picture…

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…and post it on my Facebook wall. It’s meant to be ‘Chicken Chow Wunna.’ Hahaha.

I was driving about. I had no clue what was going on. Pulled up. Looked down at my phone. DIED when I saw that Reuben had posted something on my wall…and then saw the above picture. LOl.

Luckily for Reuben, we share the same sense of humour  and weirdly, in that moment I sat in my car, outside of Junction 32 PISSING MYSELF laughing at it for a good 4 minutes, like a nut job, in my faux fur and knee high boots.

Hahaha.

It’s ace. It properly made me smile. Now my Facebook wall is filled with all sorts. A dildo, some dirty knickers or something? I can’t keep up.

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I dread what he’ll do to my pics from tomorrow evening’s event, as one of his favourite’s will be there. It makes him really creative. Lol.

Me: ‘Is this gonna go on all day?’

Reuben: ‘Just until I have something to do…’

But I guess, it’s the small things….

It’s always the small things…

Chrissie x

The Dodgiest Yoga & What I like in Men

When you think your world is dipped in luxury and divinity and then just like magic, one of my trusted chick friends, ‘Hustle Barbie’ turns around and makes it even better (if ‘Better’ meant Dodgy’) by saying..

‘So one of my friends ended up doing WOMAN HOOD YOGA the other day.’

Don’t know what that is? Neither did I!

Get this…

So  WOMAN HOOD YOGA, costs a whole fifty pounds.

I love a bit of downward dog.’ I’ll stretch it out ‘lotus’ to mood music and embrace total enlightenment with the best of them. I especially like the nap bit at the end. I only go for the nap bit at the end.

But ‘Hustle’s chick friend didn’t do normal YOGA, as nooooooo that would be far to civilized for a Wunna Land blog story. She did ‘WOMAN HOOD YOGA; where you are instructed to DRAW A PICTURE OF YOUR OWN VAGINA (YES, in yoga) and before the actual YOGA part begins, you are told to INTRODUCE YOURSELF & then introduce YOUR VAGINA to the entire group. (YES! TO THE FUCKING GROUP! 🙂 )

You pay fifty whole POUNDS to do this and look like a really stretchy, yet moderately saucy plank, in front of other females, who have also, like you… been forced to draw Picasso’s of their privates and ‘introduce’ them lovingly to a crowd. I mean I thought ZUMBA was pretty bad…and do know that I’m far TOO SWAG to be doing anything shit like Zumba. (I’ll smash a hip/hop dance class, and glide out a bit of pilates, but gyrating to Kylie tracks in neon lycra, like a weird dancey warrior princess, isn’t happening. EVER. I’m a glamour puss.)

But yes, I NEED to BE a ‘WOMAN HOOD YOGA’ instructor and simply because it fills my humour glands with absolute GLEE and well…let’s face it…i’d bloody rinse it!

‘Hi I’m Chrissie Wunna. Welcome to fifty pound yoga. Now draw your vagina, introduce it to chicks. Cheers! See you next week!’

Whoever invented that is a ‘Downward Dog’ MONEY MAKING, quirky feminist GENIUS. Lol.

Then she told me she had a dream about her nephew’s head being an egg custard, so I ignored her for a bit and decided to just *squeak* at Firmonnell. (The safer option. Safety FIRST!)

I tell ‘Firmonnell’ EVERYTHING, literally all about my life, my feelings and my secrets. I’m expressive. So yeah, I tell people a lot of things regardless. I believe in being open. I have no regrets. And if you’re close to me, I’ll tell you more than a lot. I’m honest. YET if you’re ‘Firmonnell’ I tell you EVERYTHING and then ask for advice.

She instructed me on my love life today. I’m shit at doing my ‘love life,’ but so great at doing everything else possible. No one wants me to end up being the dodgy cat lady. But honestly, I think that’s where i’m headed. I mean GOSH, I’m independant as HELL. I love my life. I live it. I’m successful. I don’t look too dodgy. I adore romance. I do it all. But oh my WORLD am I crap at love, when it comes to ‘knowing what to do to make it stick forever.’

I’m so crap, it’s funny. Yet not funny when i’m 80, alone and with all my CATS! I’m really good at knuckling down and concentrating on my career. I can block everything out and concentrate on my career. But that’s not balance. That’s just money and no person is forever successful without good balance or love. That’s why workaholics never become an absolute success. When they turn old, they realize that they’ve only become half the person that they always  wanted to be. That alone is pretty dull. I’m smart enough to know that and sassy enough to do something about it.

Anyway, to be honest, i’ve felt great all day because something made me ‘squeak.’ I turned to my left, saw ‘Firmonnnell’ and *SQUEAKED*. I’ve told you before that I only ever *squeak* when i’m really truly happy. I was really excited! It was the PEAK of joy. I *SQUEAKED* TODAY at ‘Firmonnell’ because something filled me with the fondest memories, the best gush of ‘Victory Punch’ and made me feel alive. I like to feel ALIVE. It keeps that heart beating. I hold onto those moments like treasure. I also hold onto humans that make me feel alive. I hold onto them like ‘non materialistic’ 😉 diamonds. (What? I’m bouji.)

Anyway, a *squeak* is awesome because it fills you with the greatest energy and that energy alone tinkers the most insane amount of good luck to you. It’s just a moment where in which your soul is so jam packed with glee that it could absolutely explode. Obviously, you can’t absolutely explode with glee, but you can’t define the way you feel with words either…So you let out the most amazing girl *SQUEAK.* (I might have done ‘victory clutched fists’ with it also?)

That’s how I felt today. That was my day. Then we moaned about a human we know who obviously goes to therapy that doesn’t work.

Firmonnell: ‘Honestly, she’s mental. I feel sorry for her therapist cos they must just want her to hurry up and get the fuck out their room. No wonder she’s not FIXED. She just doesn’t know how to listen. She’s just draaaaaaaaaaaaags on and on and on and on.’

We all know a person like that. That person that just makes mountains out of molehills that don’t even matter. That person who  is always able to just find the negative in ever single situation. Lol. In my mind ace people SOLVE problems. The foolish create them and even worse they do not KNOW how to solve them or even TRY to come up with a solution, because they are so busy with the ‘show’ of ‘waaaa waaaa.’

I am a problem solver and I don’t take any ‘pity party’ pokery. I’m compassionate where necessary…and ‘diva’ when you’re being a swine. (Sometimes i’m ‘Diva’ just to look cool and i’m okay with that. 🙂  Infact, I love that I can be an absolute ‘Diva’ at times and totally get stamped with the ‘she’s so cool’ lergy. It’s that jizzly charm that I have.)

I’m noticing that i’m a girl who loves excitement. I love exciting people. I love energy. And I love that in work and love. I like it in love when men come forward. I find it sexy. I’m not used to it. So I adore it.  I hate having to do the leg work. It’s not feminine. I mean the other night I was having a quick drink at Ego and I was discussing guys in general with the bartenders ‘Josh ‘ and this other one who likes all things to be bouji (I don’t know his name.)

Anyway, we came to the conclusion that if a guy really likes someone, he’ll go for it. Regardless…he’ll go for it. He’ll find a way to get what he believe is HIS. Even if a guy is shy, he has the’hunter’ instinct. It’s built into him, like prosecco is built into me. I adore the idea of that simply because I think we as girls have become SO independent (and don’t get me wrong, I love an independent soul. I am an independent girl,) that GUYS have become lazy, soft, or scared. Infact all three! I personally don’t like that. I much rather someone be really honest, open and forward, than quiet, shy and thumb twiddly. It’s looooong. I’m an exciting girl.

However weirdly at the same time, as I ‘choo choo’ on  this excitement train, i’m pretty chilled. I like stability and something that I can build upon constantly. But it can’t be dull. I don’t like things that don’t ‘move.’ So technically, i’m kinda well balanced. Yeah. I’m gonna go with ‘well balanced.’ SHUUUSH! I’m going with ‘WELL BALANCED.’

I have so many exciting things to tell you, that I just can’t tell you right now. I’m an adventurous soul…so I’m lucky to have adventure on the cards leading forward! 🙂

Like I’ve been saying of recent…

Watch. This. Space.

 

 

 

 

A Little Bit Of Inspiration…

I don’t want you to forget how important you are. How important life is. Your life. Your version of it. We’re all different. We’ve made alternate choices. Some of us believe we’ve been dealt a decent hand. Some of us believe that we’ve been boomeranged a raw deal. Some of us are young. Some of us are old. Some of us are great at work and shabby at love. Others champion romance yet can never seem make their financial dreams come true. Most of us are balanced.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, what you stand for or where you are in the world..Y’know… what stage you’re parked at in life..because we’ve all cried through parts, laughed through moments, told the truth, told a pack of lies, felt brave, been filled with fear, we’ve all loved, we’ve all lost, we’ve all won at some point…Yet, if you’re sat reading this right now, know that so far, you’ve done an alright job, simply because that heart is still beating and you’re still ticking along nicely and you can change the tempo of your world to make all of your dreams come true, at any point. You’re in charge of that. No one is BUT YOU.

And ALL of the above pretty much makes us the same. It’s what we all have in common. So like I always say, billions of people are doing life, this is JUST my version of it..and more than anything, as thousands of you scroll and ‘click’ onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM today, tonight, wherever you are in the world….I hope that one of you, at some point, whether you’ve met me or read a blog, be it from now, or from 10 merry years ago, I hope that one of you, somewhere around the world….has felt inspired.

Everyone always asks me what I reckon a ‘life soldier’ is all about and from what I know and what I’ve learnt, its always the people who aren’t scared to be bold enough to push forward who become the greatest version of themselves. When you fall down, you pick yourself up. You’ll fall down again. You pick yourself up. Don’t give up on anything that you care about. It’s not worth it in the long run. Don’t give up on what you believe is right. Don’t give up on YOU. Have faith in life but have faith in yourself. Roll with the punches. Keep ya head above water.

I’ve lived an extremely colourful past. We know this. I know this. I’ve lived it. I’ve danced through chapters and chapters of all different paths, all different worlds and around all different people. Some of it it is really clear. Some of it is just a blur. I’ve always had this uncanny way of making the shitty times look glamourous and the WONDERFUL times look simple and played down. But I’ve never told anyone HOW to live. I’ve only ever told my story. I didn’t get that from a text book or a University degree. I got that from actually living life and experiencing it to the core, experiencing people and situations. I don’t know how anyone can read a text book version of life, get a stamped piece of paper and then be some champion at inspiring others, by making you follow their rules. It makes no sense. It’s robotic and bizarre. Life is about emotion. How people feel…and that changes by the minute.

I will tell you that i’m going through a wonderful time right now. At the end of last year. It was actually around this time last year, in October. I secretly changed and decided to make myself a priority. I decided to try harder and hit pause of the things that weren’t right. I felt like I had been selling myself short…I stopped, redirected and it was in November of last year where I became focused on what I wanted and began to go for it.

It worked.

This year, things kept changing for the better. I was still scared about my changes. But I did them anyway. You have to, or you just don’t get anywhere. Well you don’t get where you want to be. I’ve been juggling everything and yeah there are time where I haven’t given everything my all. Yet there are times when I HAVE. I noticed that when I did…amazing things and I mean amazing ‘dream come true’ things kept happening as a result. This is in work and love.

Things changed. I bloomed. I became really confident in myself. I trusted myself. Had faith in my talent. My world. Love. My own version of life. I didn’t expect anything, I just hoped for the best…..and knew that I’d worked really hard…well taken the necessary baby steps without fear. This year I grew. And no one can take that away from me.

Everything is still changing and everything is still wonderful. I’m not there yet. I’m still stepping. I don’t have my perfect career. yet I’m nearly there. I’m not married and settled with the white picket fenced but something tells me that that will all be alright. Right now, I feel at my STRONGEST…and as ‘changes’ are happening…and i’ve always let changes jiggle with me, even without my consent. It’s not my favourite. When changes come as a surprise, it shocks your merry system and you fumble it a little, until you’re totally comfy.

This time for the first time EVER….I’m ready….

WATCH. THIS. SPACE.

I ain’t dropping any ball this time. 😉

 

 

Leeds, Life & Cocktails

My weekend’s been great! Right from the ‘get go,’ it’s been filled with life. I feel like the luckiest girl alive and to be honest, I have no clue why? There’s just such a buzz that’s swirling around Wunna Land that is nothing short of ‘juicy.’ It’s contagious. Good luck seems to be pouring in (I almost typed ‘pouring gin,’ ) my confident is soaring and…well i’m just feeling great about myself right now. Just like anyone, I go through the ‘ups the downs’ and the dodgy parts that I find the WORST…which i label the ‘inbetweens.’ I’m ALL or NOTHING, always SOMETHING and never chilling in ‘grey.’ When I feel stuck in a rut, (and i’m talking about work) I make positive changes with ease. I don’t find changes, especially positive ones difficult…No one should. So many people are so scared to indulge in the things that they adore? Doing that goes against human nature. It goes against the natural grain of what your soul is made for. Right now…I’m feeling on top of the world and boy, I hope you are toooo!

Right, so Friday night is usually my chill night. I love my ‘Chill Friday,’ as I’ve usually Frisbee’d off a stunningly busy work week, making Friday all about home life, relaxing and refuelling to rubbish telly and take out, in over sized frillies and tshirts, with the kids.

This Friday, straight after work, I ventured off into Leeds with one of my girl besties ‘Hustle Barbie’ to enjoy a chick ‘Mate Date’ at Issho, where we delighted in the finest sushi and raw salmon cuts of ‘over ice’ sashimi, with large delicious ‘prosecco pours’ with bamboo mats, wasabi winks and really magical lighting in one of the most glamourously trendy new spots in Leeds.

I love Issho. It’s always great! Through the day, on an evening. It’s wonderful. The food is divine. The vibe is peaceful, sophisticated, yet stylishly cosy. And as the staff tinkered around us, pouring us fresh bubbles, and making sure our dinner was delightful, we chatted about life, love and where we thought we were headed over the next few months….I adore a good chick dinner out. A bouji one that is. 😉 It was great because I’ve never really hung out with JUST ‘Hustle Barbie,’ over dinner before. There’s always been everyone there. And when you hang out with someone on a ‘one to one’ basis, a layer of them peels away…and you become much closer, share secrets, enjoy laughter and learn about them away from ‘the show’ of life.

I had a really great time and I hope I do a hundred more sushi dinners with her, over prosecco, in great lighting.  I love getting to know people more closely and yeah…Friday was brilliant. We’re more similar than we ever knew and I admire her for it. She’s a really smart, ambitious yet gentle girl. She’s impressive because she’s thoughtful, fair and kind, yet someone who seeks more from life. She wants her happy ending…and we all deserve it! ( I mean GOSH, I even got to see her boudoir. She has a boudoir..

‘You’re making it sound like I own a brothel!’

Her home is spotless, almost like a ‘show home.’ As soon as her front door opens, it smells DIVINE and radiates style and simplicity. There was definitely a point where she came out of the shower however and thought I was sat on her cat Lol. I was knelt in her boudoir, bronzing my face in her big mirror, with my mini fur bag laid by my side. She walked in wrapped in a towel and thought I was sat on Rufus. Lol. Rufus is her glamourous ‘fur ball’ cat. )

Anyway, back to Leeds….

We had a whole bunch of gin in cocktail form, looked down at our phones and saw that ‘Firmonnell’ had found herself into Leeds with her chick friend bestie. She had no clue where she was, so kept sending us selfies and photos of her whereabouts and signs, after giving ‘train prosecco’ to a homeless person out of kindness.

So Hustle and I tinkered out of Issho, walked through the bouji Victoria Gate…and after the delightful elevator gentleman let us out to play under the Leeds night stars…(He couldn’t possibly imagine us walking up or down stairs, so demanded that we took the lift. Yet, i enjoy that there’s an elevator to the entrance of Issho, it just keeps life elegant…and easy. After gin, you want shit to be easy.)

Then we went to find ‘Firmonnell.’

Finding ‘Firmonnell’ was like an episode of The Crystal Fricking Maze. It was like the Matrix, where we were following photographed signs and voicemails across central Leeds, in order to be delivered to her whereabouts. And yeah, okay, we may have taken detours like a cheeky delicious Manahatta stop off, where we ordered Pornstar Martini’s, appreciated attractive humans and danced for Snapchat to the best tunes in all the land.  That might have happened, on our journey to find ‘Firmonnell.’  And we might have tried to stop of at the new ‘Neighbourhood’ bar, yet couldn’t because it was reservation night only. But in the end, we found her….at ‘The Roxy’ where the lager is poured and the beer pong is a played.

My feet KILLED by this point, THEY BURNED LIKE WITCHES GROINS and when we finally got there, turned around and saw her at the back bar all smiles and drunky, all innocent and light…it was almost a relief.

‘OH MY GOSH! FINDING YOU HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE. MY FEET KILL BECAUSE I’VE TOTTERED AROUND THE WHOLE OF FLIPPING LEEDS TO FIND YOU!!!!!’

We danced, we drank, we laughed, we giggled. Hundreds more people showed up. I think ‘Hustle and I’ tried to go dancing with ‘Firmonnell’ who ended up staying for Beer Pong.’ The Roxy is cool. I’m just a Victoria Gate girl. My feet stuck to things and we didn’t have change for the photobooth and I saw all these empty red plastic cups, all squashed and squished all over a beer drenched ping pong table, that might have had stains on from 1992. It kinda made me gip a little, so ‘Hustle and I’ went off to do dancing….and agreed to meet ‘Firmonnell’ later.

We never ended up meeting. But I knew that would happen. I know ‘Firmonnell’ well and I adore her because we just do our own thing. Lol. We’re ace and just get on with it. It’s how good friends are! Phone tig occurred and ‘Fibre’ was Hustle and I’s choice of jiggle. We had a dance we let loose for a bit, I remember some guy coming up to me because he had me on Snapchat. Then whilst ‘Hustle Barbie’ I were sat downstairs in the cave like toilets, across from giant walled mirrors, we knew Friday was done. She simply said, ‘shall we go?’

Just like that, with our feet a killing, a missed all from ‘Firmonnell’ and earlier than expected, we were in a taxi home. ‘Hustle’ got dropped off first and then my Taxi driver, who ha dno clue where he was going tried to drop me off IN BARNSLEY!

‘You needed to get off at Junction 32!!! WHY ARE WE AT JUNCTION 38!!!’

I got home. I crashed. I woke up the next morning bright and early and spent the entire day shopping, lunching and hotel nighting with my gorgeous little babies Ruby and Junior. They had an audition for a commercial, which they absolutely loved. They loved it as much as I loved chilling in Prosecco Pit Stop waiting for them to finish. J It made me smile. It seems ‘The Wunna Babies’ are actually a ‘thing’ now and like I’ve said before they’re getting offered a lot of opportunities, that I am NOW letting them enjoy. You only live once! Embrace everything that comes at ya! Plus, I believe that NOTHING is better than doing things with the people you love. So whilst I have ‘Opportunity Central ‘ going on in Wunna Land…which i’m really truly grateful for, they actually have THEIR OWN THANG going down….which I guess, on the whole, makes us lucky.

HOTEL NIGHT was wonderful. The kids LOVED IT! I loved it.  I mean, all we did was dinner, chill in our undies, snuggle in our beds and watch telly as a family, but it was BLISS. It was amazing. It was PERFECT! Almost a novelty because I treasure ‘down time.’ Time where in which I can all chill and relax without any worries, or stress. Time where no one can bother us or know what we’re doing. The kids loved it so much. That night, we had the best sleep EVER.

‘I love you mum.’

‘I love you tooo.’

Then as sod’s law kicked in, my phone rang, schedules were put in place. I had a last minute Sunday audition, They had a last minute Sunday audition.

We had to wake up at 7am, for Junior to get picked up by 8.30am…and Just like that…everything went back to normal…..

 

Ups & Downs & Those Jiggly Bits of Doo Daa

Things have weirdly turned out great! I’m feeling good. I had a rough weekend. It wasn’t rough as in ‘drinky,’ just rough as in tough. I was kinda ‘down beat,’ feeling low, like the wind had been taken out my sails a bit and I needed to pull my kitten socks up, wake up the next morning and feel wonderful. The great thing about those moments, where you’re swirled in a case of ‘da blues’ is the simple fact that they’re only temporary. I’m a positive chick. I’m good with life, because i’ve fought so hard to make it my bestie. We’ve shared some times! We’ve done it over rummy cocktails. I’m confident enough to say that  The Gods have now cut me some slack and i’m really lucky…always really lucky. But jeeze, have I noticed that when you’re down….all kinds of shit happens to you, in a dodgy ‘domino’ fashion. At one point I just stood there, pissed myself laughing and hoped some granny would just run over me with her wheeled machine.

Everything kept going wrong. Everything! One after the other. I couldn’t wait to get home and just be with the kids. I mean almost got beat up my some strange, feisty woman in a bar, who declared me a snotty ‘patronizing bitch.’ She wanted to gracefully, ‘rip my head off’ or something….and simply because she had lost her mind and insecurity had got the better of her. Delicious! I wouldn’t look good without a head. How inconvenient of her. After my boobs, it’s my best bit!  (We’re all girls. We’ve all been there. Some of us handle it better than others.) If you’re going to attempt to be a Goddess…Don’t be a crazy one. It makes you look stupid….really really stupid. It makes you NOT a Goddess. Not one at all. But in a way I was pleased, because in that moment, I couldn’t have LOOKED MORE sophisticated. I looked like I was dipped in champers and served on a silver tray. If you’re going to do FEISTY. Do  it with charm. Do it with a class that’s smug, yet direct. I assure you, the rough, ‘elbows, loud shouty, knees to the ears thing….is…Well….It’s HILARIOUSLY tasty in the most disgraceful manner.

Yipppeeeeeeee!

Anyway, once I got home and spent loads of time with the babies and just focused on doing the things that I love…I slept well and bizarrely, when I woke, I felt okay. I felt delicious.

I spent my busy Monday surrounded by my chick friends, who are just GREAT. I mean, yeah they definitely pissed themselves at me nearly getting beaten up and then shared their own stories of weekend debauchery….trampolines, gin, Leeds games, birthdays, forgotten loin fruit, and vaginas that look like pork pies that may come with a gelatine layer on them. (That was actually a comment that ‘Double B’ made a week ago… about imaginary ‘pork pie’ vaginas. Lol. I forgot to mention it, so I shoved it in for kicks. I love her.)

Double B: ‘Honestly, I think her vagina is a pork pie and comes with a gelatine layer.’

And today was just ‘GOOD NEWS’ Tuesday! I mean, I was bright as a button. Beaming with ‘ooh laa.’ I had something in the back of my mind. I can’t really tell you what, but I guess like all girls, I really care for someone and I don’t…Well….blah. I’ll leave it at that.) I didn’t let it get to me. I glamour pussed onward with a smile.

Now, the great thing about my weekend was that I CHOSE to be really PRODUCTIVE. So I pulled myself together, and didn’t surrender to ‘da blues’ and instead set myself up for opportunity. Work opportunity. I told you, I’m writing a book, I’ve got a bunch of auditions and shoots etc…But at the weekend, I tried hard to turn dreams into reality….

…because of that ‘GOOD NEWS TUESDAY’ OCCURED.

You can do anything. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. Good things happen to good people.

I got a phone call today…a good one. It was work related and it shocked me so much that I couldn’t even believe it. It made me squeak. I haven’t squeaked since August! I looked at ‘Firmonnell’ and literally squeaked with excitement at her. I’m at my best when i’m that happy!!! I get on such a buzz that I feel on top of the world. And it felt good because it was something that I really wanted and really went for. I found my inner fearless and well I just knew… It made me giddy!

From that point on, I was A QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!  And again the weird thing was, that when i felt SO WONDERFUL, just filled with excitement and kitty cat beams…ALL THINGS GREAT STARTED TO HAPPEN TO ME, one after the other! It was crazy. I could’ve tripped up and FOUND a pot of treasure at my feet, I felt that lucky. All sorts happened. More opportunity. More great phone calls. Good news. My best gay friend Theo in LA randomly messaged me to tell me he was sending me a surprise gift! I received a ton of really positive messages from blog fans and more and more good news kept pouring in. I booked shoots and jobs and everything. It just made my day wonderful!

This was one of the messages I got today from a Blog Fan…

‘Hey Chrissie, just to remind you this morning; you’re powerful beyond measure. So be that girl who wakes up with a purpose and intent, who shows up and never gives up, who believes anything is possible and willing to work for it. I hope this week will be ridiculously amazing just like you. I’m so inspired by you. Thank you.’ 

How lovely is that!!! Makes me smile! It means a lot.

Everything is changing. I’m headed into a really lovely and super exciting chapter. It’s all new and spangly and I…well i’m looking forward to it.

(Do know that when i’m trying to be wonderful, my delightful chick friends are currently Whatsapp grouping me and calling me ‘shit’ because I apparently can’t remember birthdays…and that’s some kind of duty of mine. I hope ‘Hustle Barbie’s hair goes wrong on Thursday. I told her it was her next big prank. 😉 )

Hustle Barbie: ‘Don’t fucking say that to me! I’m already anxious!’

Anyway, I’m off. I have a bath ready and it needs me. I spent all night Googling this season’s ‘Jimmy Choo’ shoe line yesterday. It’s exhausted me with utter pleasure. 😉

I hope you’re all feeling lucky. Work hard at what you love. Chase what makes you happy. Don’t give up. Love boldly. It’s the most powerful force in the entire world and go get whatever is YOURS! You deserve it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life, Marriages & Think They Knows

It’s a funny old thing this life marlarky isn’t it? One minute you can be on the top of the highest mountain ‘star jumping’ to the sound of absolute delight and then all of a sudden, and just like that, The Gods can come and pull that rug from under you and send you off into a spin…a downward spin where you lose your grip.

I’d say i’m quite good at life. I’ve mastered the creative art of it…. In most areas. When I say ‘mastered’ I simply mean that ‘I get it.’ I’m not saying i’m some kind of life champion, I’m just saying that I’m the QUEEN of living my OWN life the way I want to and happily. Even though my love life, seems like it’s been so shit over the years…I can tell you, on the whole, i’ve been quite lucky and been really happy. Happier and luckier than most. It doesn’t seem that way, but I have. Whenever I wasn’t chipper…I changed it, or dealt with it. Made It better. And yeah, there are moments where in which I wish I could ‘moonwalk’ backwards and do things a little differently, simply for closure. Closure that I never received. Yet the fact is that you can’t…so you might as well pull your ankle socks up and get on with it, with a smile. (It doesn’t matter if it’s real or fake…you kinda just have to get on with it. Bad moods, or bad times are really only temporary and people ALWAYS forget that. And yeah I may be coming across as a little ‘Rainbow Brite,’ yet I don’t care because by nature i’m a person who will focus on what is positive about a situation or person, rather than give power to the parts that are negative. Yeah, it can make me look a fool at times. I’ve had my heart and trust broken because of this delicious little manner, a zillion times over. In business and work i’ve trusted people that I shouldn’t have. The shit talkers. J Yet, if you stay true to who you are and stay loyal to what you believe is right…then fuck it….the things or people that ‘stick’ or even more so MAKE THE EFFORT to ‘stick’ are the things and people that are right for you.

(I’m getting this weird flashback of being 24 in LA and running outside in the dark by wheely bins, after an argument with my first husband Mike. It was street lit and the stars were above me. Everything around me was quiet. It wasn’t a big argument. It just felt big at the time. He’d always chase me whenever we fell out, because I would always rush off and leave the room. Only if it was filled with people. It looked to others that ‘the rush off’ was because I was a ‘such a DIVA.’ But really, the ‘rush off’ was always because I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. He always knew that. So as soon as I made an exit dash…he would rush after me. I’ll always take myself away from a negative moment or environment in order to find some kind of positive. He stopped me and turned me around, after chasing me down the street shouting ‘CHRISTINA.’ He never called me ‘Chrissie.’ Infact, his only other nicknames for me were ‘Shorty Doo Wop’ or ‘Baby.’ Anyway, he held my wrist gently and said,

‘INTENT is EVERYTHING and I didn’t intentionally mean to hurt you. I love you. I’ll make it right. INTENT is EVERYTHING CHRISTINA, EVERYTHING. Just stop, a second. Don’t forget who I am!!!!’

It sounds weird him saying that, I know. Lol. Yet this argument was at a time when we were both newly doing very well in our careers, he was on a big US TV show, money and ego has been pouring in and what he meant, or what he needed me to remember in that time, was who he was, on the day we first met, in that acting class….when life was really simple. We were so innocent and he was so happy because we’d been put in the same group. He turned around and whispered to his best friend Tyler, who had come from New York with him and said…on that day…’I’m gonna marry that girl.’ I remembered and he knew that I’d remember. So when I stopped dashing….I just stopped….and just like that…we were okay. Later down the line, we weren’t okay. No one knows why but him and I. Everyone thought they knew why. But they didn’t. Everyone said they knew why…but they didn’t. Neither him and I to this day, ever told anyone why, because we respect one another. Everyone made fun of that time, like it was ‘blip’ of a little marriage…that only lasted around a year. When the truth is, what you saw only lasted a year…it went on for 4 more years behind closed doors. It only ended because I suddenly had to move to England. I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t have chance. Everything was just so quick….He thought I had just changed my number. It was a really traumatic time, that he never forgave me for. We’re ten years on from that time now….Completely different people, with completely different lives, both a success in our own rights. We live in different parts of the world. We’re both the happy with the paths that we chose. The time we were both together was simply a life a chapter. A ten years ago chapter. I learnt, no…we learnt…a lot from one another, in that time. And the best thing about it ALL, is that we could both be in the same room, full of people, look back and with blissful memories, laugh and take the piss out of that time! One of the greatest things about Mike, is that even though he’ll secretly flashback the bad bits, to me he’ll only ever remind me of the good bits.

‘Remember that time, when you came to New York and you were stood shouting outside the bakery at 3am because you needed more bread and I gave you that twig as a gift because I couldn’t afford anything else.’ )

As if i went on that big a tangent.  I’m hormonal right now. I’ll blame the hormones. Just go with it….Where were we? Oh yeah…life…

More than anything, yeah I’d say I’ve lived and it’s all been a very colourful time, with people ‘oohing’ and ‘arring’ at me. (And that doesn’t bother me because at least i’m not DULL. At least i’ve lived some kind of life where in which people have had the chance to ‘ooh’ and ‘arr’ at me, which is what I wanted and therefore it has made me happy. Life is about being happy. Like ‘Diddy’ said, ‘Happy is the new rich.’

But don’t be dull.

Nothing is WORSE TO ME, THAN PEOPLE WHO CAN’T STOP BEING DULL. You know who you are! Don’t do it to me. It gives me a rash. Whenever, I see dull humans, it makes me feel as though they have no grasp of the art of living. And when I say don’t be dull, I don’t mean you need to be hurtling yourself off a cliff on a bungee rope for insta likes. That can still be dull, if you’re dull. It can be anything, from those that daren’t speak their mind. Those that let people walk all over them. Those that can’t stand up for what they believe is right. Or those that try to be ‘goody goody’ and judge others for being fun. AWWWWWWWWWWW! Don’t be dull. Lighten up. It’s the worst.

Know that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. You’re certainly one decision away from a completely differently life…They are quotes that I’ve read that I believe. So, no matter what, even though there is magic in the air, you are ALWAYS in control…..and if I hate anything, I hate a loss of control. You’ll never find me doing anything, that I do not have a handle on. Even as a child I was that way inclined.

Right now, i’ll tell you, that my life feels so filled up. I can’t find space to relax. I can’t find time to do the things I want to do. Just a moment of silence. Just me. Just ‘sshh.’ The kids have put ‘Wannabe’ on repeat, which is sounding out the upstairs of Wunna land, like it’s some kind of 90’s disco. I’m surrounded by people constantly that aren’t relaxing me! Lol. Everyone constantly wants me to do things for them. And I don’t want anyone to come near me unless they’re either going to massage me, deliver good news, love me or peacefully pour me a prosecco.

Tomorrow…will be a good day. I need a chill before it all gets busy.

I have a shoot to organize, infact THREE to organise, an advert to film, a book to write, four auditions to go to….and i’m meant to be in London next week but I just can’t find the time to get there.

Everything will be okay right? Everything will be okay….

Work, Success & Sex With Inflatables?

Gosh! It’s such a busy time. I have this mountain of glittery work to get through, in order to get Wunna Land to where it needs to be, for the birth of the New Year. I’m looking at it, in the highest of heels, with a Vivienne Westwood handbag and a puzzled face that can only suggest confusion. 😉

Right now, I have opportunity a knocking and it’s knocking on every door that my kitty kingdom could possibly handle. I’m not really talking about much of it, because i’m on work mode. But there ARE people that I do tell things to in confidence, like ‘Firmonnell’ and ‘The Swirl.’ They’re the two people that I seem to tell everything to….Oh and also my Mum. She’s a diamond. A stress head. But a diamond.

I’m really excited and i’m honestly really grateful to be fair, yet finding the TIME to do well and progress, y’know ‘fitting it all in’ is not that easy and things are much more knackering at thirty something. Haha. Doesn’t matter how glamourous you are! You can still do ya back in. It’s a juggle. A juggle that I CAN quite easily cope with. I love to be busy when it comes to work, just as much as I like to chill. I don’t like pressure, or rushing, But productivity, I enjoy. However, because I’m bloated and feeling moderately hormonal this week, I’m choosing to be dramatic about it all. Best thing about being a girl. If you ARE a girl, you’ll get it. If you ARE a guy…well the sooner you get it the better.

I reckon that no matter what business, profession or ‘Pachinga’ (don’t care if that’s not a word) you’re in…the lead up to the end of the year, is ALWAYS really hectic. IT’S MADNESS, I’ll tells ya! There needs to be more hours in the day.

Last night I literally slept for around 3 hours, just to fit all my work in and then got up at the crack of dawn to get ahead of myself. I KNOW! Lol. Yet, the most wonderful thing, away from all the ‘glitter’ is that my baby Junior smashed his first day of school. He smashed it…and I was so worried, that he would be terrified. I was SO worried, that he’d not adjust. But he loved it. He can’t wait to go again. Ruby troopered her Big Sister role and BOOM…as a mum NOTHING FEELS BETTER. (I did it. They’re both in school.)

Right now, even though i’m busy, i’m feeling like life is good. Pretty good. I’m feeling lucky and I reckon I have you lot to thank for that. I mean, this blog is on its merry way up for some reason and i’m not trying to give the clichéd ‘I love you’ speech. I’m just trying to say ‘cheers’ because if I actually one day wake up and find that Wunna Land has been walloped with some ‘taken over’ stamp of utter superstar success…It honestly will be because of you. You practically will have MADE me. So, yeah, cheers.

If i’m being honest, i’m quite confident that i’ll get there. I’m confident by nature. YET, i’m a hustler….A glamourous ‘grafter,’ as it’s done gracefully ofcourse. My First Husband didn’t use to call me ‘Dynamite’ for no reason. 😉 However, I am by no means delusional. I hate delusional people. I’m a patient girl and I do things correctly, with winks and that’s after learning things the hard way. I don’t strike while the irons hot. I strike when i’m ready and everything is set in place. It’s important for me to build and make impact when all is set in place, MORE than it is, to be fickle with a *whip* and shoot out the canon before i’m ready.

Other than that…Yesterday (and I don’t know how this occurred) Firmonnell, Hustle Barbie & Jonesez decided to have a conversation about humans are in committed relationships with inflatables.

Jonesez: ‘This one guy on Youtube is married to a bunch of inflatables.’

Me: ‘Yeah, But i think that’s funny. I want to be married to a bunch of inflatable people.’

Jonesez: ‘No, they’re not people…they’re random objects, like banana’s and rubber rings and ink flamingos.’

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING WEIRD??? I love it! I do love it. I find it hilarious. But why? I don’t get it??

Firmonnell: ‘I won’t let you say COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP with an inflatable. It’s ridiculous!!’

HOW THE HELL AS AN INFLATABLE RUBBER RING MANAGED TO HAVE A BETTER LOVE LIFE THAT HALF THE WOMEN ON THIS EARTH??? Lol.

(Girls, if a guy can commit and propose to a pink flamingo because he can’t live without it, and you still don’t have a ring on it yet…let me tell you…..you’re fucked. We’re fucked. It makes me lose my faith in mankind. Hahaha. Yet, it can’t stop being hilarious.)

Then Hustle Barbie forced me to watch some video (when i say ‘forced,’ she just showed me it and I watched it…I’m just dramatic today, I told you,) anyway it was a video of a guy making out with his car, THAT HE WAS HAVING A COMMITTED SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH?

Hustle: ‘How do you have sex with a car?’

Jonesez: ‘You sit on the gear stick.’

And it’s the moments like that, that take the pressure OFF you, OFF life, because you just remember how to have a big old laugh, you remember how to love and notice that you have great people and support around you. It’s take the stress of ‘busy’ and reminds you of the fact that shit ain’t so bad. 😉

Then after I moaned…a friend of mine, who again is the most hilarious human that I have ever been lucky enough to have cross paths with….sent me this…(They also stated that it was ‘a bit cheesy but had substance.’)

‘There’s something so beautiful about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she’s capable of doing anything she sets her mind to.’

It made me beam and last night, because of that I slept like a Goddess…..