Tats, Dates & What I Fancy…..?

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Hiya!!! We’ve made it to FRIDAY!

FRINALLY, Baby!!!

(As my five year old son, Junior..would say. 😉 ) 

Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)

It is THE WEEKEND!! (Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…

is a SIN!!

I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!

Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*

I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. 😉 A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.

That is my business…LIFE.

(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.) 

There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!

I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!

‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’

‘Wow, you parked like shit…’

Anyway!!!

Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…

Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.

YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.

Being ME

And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.

Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.

Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.

Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!

Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’

Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!

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So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.) 

I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! 🙂 Junior said…

‘Why is he nuts?’ 🙂

Haha…

But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.

He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’

Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’ 

Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many,  not grown yet…..boys…’

Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love you  guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’

Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’

Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’

And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.

Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.

I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. 😉 Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…

(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. 🙂 ) 

But whatever…

Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.

‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)

All good! Roll on Tuesday.

I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!

Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…

It’s like…

Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!

Chrissie x

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All the F****

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PR: ‘I don’t know what the F*** you think you’re doing, with this whole impromptu *win a date for a dare* thing?  Lol…You can’t just go around doing his dares, if they aren’t….’

ME: ‘It’s fun! It just happened by accident on my *Ask Me Anything.* Don’t blame me! Blame Insta! Haha. He hasn’t done it yet! So far, it’s just banter. Relax.’

PR: ‘If he wins a date…’

Me: ‘He probably will, as I’d rather have a couple rums, than subject myself to disturbing Tom Foolery.’

PR: ‘Stop, fucking talking over me. Haha. If he wins a date…You’re taking security. You don’t even know him. I’m coming too.’

Me: ‘Ugh. It’s not a PR operation. *Oh! Hi, Winner! Meet my PR & this giant mountain of a man, who will head butt you, if you annoy me…Romance is alive.’ 

PR: ‘Does it look like he’s gonna do it?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He looks tattooey. He even sent me a picture of what he’s thinking about getting done! He looks like he gets inked every 2 weeks… 🙂 🙂 🙂 ‘

And with a roll of her eyes and wiggle from Wunna Land, laughter filled the room, after a three second *pause* of fear and worry.

People worry too much.

Don’t!! It’s STICKY.

I’m an adventurer. I’m a life spirit. Even though i’m much more sensible and tame in my old age…The flirty 30’s. The wild streak, is just something, you can’t scrub off with a loofah. No matter how hard to scrubble.

It’s these moments that bring ‘magic,’ back to your life. It’ll be a memory. A forever, memory! Plus, I think he SHOULD get rewarded for being so bold. Being so fun! I’m grateful for people like him.

I love excitement. I live for it….Of course, with a side of love and a ‘swing’ of a great handbag. 

To be honest…

..I actually, think i’ve been accidentally, CLEVER about all this. Yes, it happened by accident, but  I decided to EMBRACE IT. Lots of people don’t other. I try and engage and appreciate, ALL the time.

I’m an entertainer. But I’m an entertainer, a model, a blogger…of the NEW kind…FRESH SLIDES…

I’m the innovative kind, where YOU can actually come be a PART OF MY ‘SHOW.’ Be a part of Wunna Land. Do life properly and connect with me, as our life paths cross. This blog has literally turned into a written word, reality show. It’s interactive…It’s modern. It’s what I used to talk about 10 years ago..But now it’s kinda happening.

It’s cool…

That Psychic in West Hollywood..2004. At 7.19 pm. It was  Tuesday night in LA.

( I was in jeans and this shit read belly top, that read ‘Manteaser‘ on it, instead of ‘Malteasers. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WEARING!! And why did I start the blog with a F***, if I was just going to go ahead and swear anyway? Haha. Why do I bother, trying to be decent?)

Psychic: ‘You will start to write something, that will be the something that will eventually put your name in lights. Big lights… Opportunities, are gonna come your way..’

‘I’m a model. But I want to be a Popstar. I’ve just recorded a song with Capital Records..and..’

‘That will never happen. You’ll stay a model. You’ll actually become an actress. That is what you’re naturally good at. You’re a good model, because you’re a phenomenal actress. You’re a talent. But you’ll start to write something…and that is what will make you.You’re going to be a star. All I can see, is your name in lights…Do you have a diary?’

‘No…Anyway, what about my love life..’

( I walked out feeling unfulfilled.) 

WHY DO I ALWAYS RAMBLE!!!???!

Right. So yes! Lots of work. Lots of attention on my social stories right now. I thank you for that and all your messages of support! I put a lot into them…and I know it all seems ‘banter,’ but I do work hard for a ‘like‘ or a bit of ‘look at me.’ 

Hahaha…

..and without you responding, I wouldn’t have a story to tell. That’s why I love my ‘Ask me anything‘ because everyday, I get to learn about YOU,  from your questions, as you learn about ME. I actualyl never feel lonely because of it…

I love people…

Plus, with me NOT being as ‘out and about‘ as usual, due to my 21 day thing, it helps to keep my juicy flow of banter… alive.

I’m on Day 13! It’s almost getting harder now.

21 Days!!! Just Breathe OUT, Wunna!

(Lots of messages about this. But I just want to do it privately, for now. Then I’ll make you applaud me, once I know I’m steady, on good solid ground. 🙂 Oh and don’t fret. It’s not anything crazy. I’m not a massive druggie or anything. It’s just a habit, a wee little habit, that I needed to kick.)

Okay, to my love life…

(There’s literally not enough hours in the fucking day. I keep running through, all the things that I need to do, before the school run!! Utilize time! Utilize, time!  

So! Remember that I told you that I was going to meet ‘The Gent’ on the 18th, for a ‘friendly’ meet up. Well, it’s kinda like a date…but without the rigid formality. My chick friend wanted him to stand me up, because she wanted me to delusionally pine over ‘T Bone.’

I sent ‘T Bone’ a message yesterday. He opened and maybe with a shrug of disinterest, he didn’t respond. He had better life ‘tings’ to do. Haha.. He usually replies…Briefly. So he’s either just focusing on work, doesn’t fancy me anymore, busy, or is with someone…

Simples…

Break it down, Chicks!

*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…*

‘The Older Gent’ who sent me his first message a couple weeks ago, got in touch with me over the last few days and has no intention of ‘standing up’ Wunna Land. In fact, he seems pretty organised. He seems pretty ‘together.’ Pretty stable and grown. He seems reliable. He works hard. He kept his word. He’s a father. Ex Pro Footballer. Retired. Now a pundit.  But most of all, he seems to care about my potential ‘maybe’ needs? He’s attentive. He’s nurturing. He’s really intelligent, without being boring. He’s flying in for work, from a different nearby country.

He seems lovely…

…and that’s refreshing, because the guys I meet, usually care about themselves FIRST, before anyone..Well any chick, that is. Or maybe, it’s just me? I’ve never really encountered any decent gent, (aside from one) who knew how to care for me, or look after me, without a prompt. Or without reading from the ‘Charm Script.’

Maybe that comes with age?

No, that’s wrong. I’m not ageist. It comes from life experience. Being lovely and respectful is just something you are. It’s not something you do because of an age.

T Bone is actually ALSO, lovely and respectful. But, right now, he needs to do him…and IS. I can’t knock him for that. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dying a legend. Deservedly. However, what he doesn’t realize is that he already will. A great deal of people, including myself, respect what he’s already achieved in his life. I’m inspired by him.

(He’s occupation is also…football. He’s moved to the other side of the world, right now.) 

Anyway…That’s T Bone…aka The Swirl.

Back to ‘The Gent’….

On the 18th,  I’m going to meet The Gent in Liverpool, after he’s flown in and worked. I’ve never met before? I don’t know him?

Me: I need a new outfit and new hair!

Lizzie P: ‘Why do you need to spend so much money on looking good, when he’s only going to treat you badly, in the end? They always start off being lovely. T Bone was FILLED with loveliness and excitement at first.’

Me: ‘Hi. I’m Chrissie. I’m a glamour puss. You know that! I don’t live LIFE, like that! I want to look nice. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn’t then..Hey I looked fabulous! He’ll remember that! Haha.’ 

Lizzie P: ‘We’ll see…’

Then she shakes he head at me and walks off. Lol.

So much is going on? Real Dates. Old Flames. New Habit Breaks. Tattoo challenges.. Insta Love. All the work. Good friends. Family. Babies…

All sorts…

I kinda need a vino…

Chrissie x

Ps: Miss. (Does PR) Murphy, was on a late night train from Yorkshire to Essex last night, after approximately ‘seven wines’ and got excited about my MadLipz, Voice Over App. An app where you can put your own voice and words, over famous movie & tv scenes. I’m addicted. Mine have been ACE.  She downloaded the app. on the train, last night,en route to Essex, after a…

‘WTF is this??’

It ended like this…

‘Shit! I just opened it on the train and it was some violent swearing scene! Hahaha.’

I’m sure she was fine. Everyone loves a ‘seven wines and swearing’ combo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dares For A Date, Road Beef & 21 Days..

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Today is ace. Sunday is always my favourite day. It’s like a peach and Malibu cocktail, with a tangy thong of ‘ooh.’ There’s a chilled sweetness to it, isn’t there?

I’m feeling wonderful. I’m looking better than I thought. 😉

*Purr Here…*

I can’t remember if I told you? But i’ve been breaking a bad habit? I might have said it on my Insta Story instead? But, without me going into it, because I’m weird like that (lol.) I’m SO open, about everything, all sorts, literally enough to make you blush and call a Doctor. HOWEVER, if I NEED to ‘conquer‘ something personally, that i’m gonna find a bit of a ‘TASK,’ I’ll always do it privately, under my ‘hush hush‘ brolly, like an insecure, oriental pixie.

(I’ll only tell a couple people, who I know won’t nag me about it. I hate ‘naggers.’ I’m too rebellious, once I hear a ‘nag.’ They get me all guns blazing, with my knickers in a tight, diva twist.)

Anyway. I’ve just passed Day 10, of my ‘breaking’ of bad habit & I’m really proud of myself, because I really didn’t think I could even get this far! Haha. FFs.

First Week Smashed. Ping off that bra and shout a Hail Mary!

I’ve said it before, it takes 21 days to break a habit…COLD TURKEY. (Use this when it comes to anything emotional, physical or mental. It’s a game of will power.)

21 DAYS!

I’m not far off now. So when I get to Thursday Sept 20th… I’ve done it. I’ve hit it. I’ve smacked it’s little booty and winked at it on the ‘naughty step.’ 

I’m actually going to treat myself after that. Like a reward for conquering a ‘glamour pussy’ demon.

What do they say?

‘Strength doesn’t come from doing what you can already DO! It comes from accomplishing the things, you never imagined you could conquer…’

Something, i’ve done all the way through my life. I always say, i wish you could see into my head and witness, all that i’ve seen all through my life.

(Currently getting a Flashback or riding down the escalator, outside Crunch Gym, on Sunset Blvd, in West Hollywood, with Joseph Fiennes, who was in town to film a movie. I think it was ‘Running with Scissors?’ He had a baseball cap on and was telling me he was Irish? Weird time to flash back THAT moment??) 

I was only a 23 year old kid. We’d been flirting for about a day…Lol.

You know what I’m like. I was all a flutter…He just probably thought I was fit…or cute…or whatever? ‘Road Beef’ is what I used to call my LA chick friend Jen. Hahah. (She used to always date these sportsmen. These athletes.  These American football players & Baseball Players.)

I’d always date an Actor, or a model…Yet, only because they were the ONLY guys around me, really….

Jen: ‘I’m driving to Anaheim today..I’m gonna go see him. He’s BBM’ed me.’

Me: ‘Haha. Don’t do that! You’re totally Road Beef. Lol’

(Even though I would do the same. I just wear my little heart on my sleeve and I always have. I like that about me though. I’d rather be that, than be incapable of loving. To me, that’s a travesty. A life without true love, is no life at all.) 

She’s finally happy, settled (Girls settle down much later in Hollywood)  and she’s just had her first gorgeous baby. I’m still…well..probably ‘Road beef’…But with a family…Haha.

I’m headed into a lucky time. A juicy time. A good time of work, excitement and new adventures. You know how much I love an adventure. My spirit is wild. I never want to feel tamed. There’s a lot of opportunity a brewing for us all and it’s making me feel delicious. I have a lot of news and I’ve changed everything around ‘personally,’ for it.

There’s something in the air, in Wunna Land, right now. The babies and I can feel it.

Even Ruby has a glint in her eye…

(She’s like a machine of magic, that girl…She’s grown straight into being….Lil’ Miss.Wunna, I guess? You wouldn’t think, but it’s kinda by accident, because I always encourage the kids, to simply BE THEM. But hey..If the crown fits? 😉 )

I will tell you, that I thought I was gonna have a quiet Sunday of putting my Depop store together. Yet, I got side tracked, because during my ‘Ask Me Anything‘ on Insta…a guy propositioned me to a GAME OF DARES….

I’m up for a dare. Why not? It’s life…

I came straight in…with a…

‘If you get my initials tattooed on you..’ (fyi, I don’t know this guy personally, at all..He’s a big Wunna Land Fan and I love that!) 

He immediately took the challenge,

‘I’m next in Thursday evening for ink, so I’ll film it being done, then send it to you…’

WHAT! WOW!

Then he came back and challenged me…

‘Ok, no problem…But then you’ll have to do my dare…’

If he went through with it….(Do know that it was just banter…I just said it to terrify him…But he wasn’t scared. Lol) I told him he’s win a date, if he did…and he will, if he does…

However, he would have to chose between DATE or Dare.

His Reply…

*Hit Play…*

SO, IT’S ON!!!

I love a challenge. I’m not backing down. If he wins, he’ll WIN A DATE. (Something that as a Wunna Land Fan, he’s requested for months.) If I win, he pretty much said…

We’ll see! Let’s play! I love that he had a sense of adventure. It’s yummy. More guys are scared of me, than they are bold, with me. I like it. There you have it. I’m playing ‘Dares For A Date’ with a Wunna Insta Story Fan.

Makes sense to me! Lol. Yay! SUNDAY!

What did you get up toooooo? 

I’ll be seeing ya! I’ve got work to do…

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Ps/ Junior got a ‘Special Mention Certificate’ on Friday at school. 😉 Miss. Murphy (who I love,) sent me a message, after reading my blog. (Our babies are in school together…) Her baby son Ray, told her, that Junior got called up for his mini certificate, but was too terrified to walk up and receive it. His best, school buddy friend, saw this and walked him up there, to help him feel bold. Awww! How magical! It melted my heart. It gave him all the confidence he needed. I love Miss. Murphy…He’s like the liquor in your cocktail..Not just the garnish. 😉

 

 

 

Naked Snacking, Castings & Hormones..

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This is how glamourous I am. I mean, everyone thinks that I wake up on a morning, throw on my diamante encrusted robe and get carried to breakfast, in nothing but heels, by half naked Greek male models in togas, with six packs.

I WISH!

Last night, I sat on my bed at around 1.30am, because I was too excited to sleep, with a ripped open packet of prawn cocktail crisps, a ripped open packet of salt and vinegar crisps..a raw green chilli as a side, as I swigged a mini red wine, out of the bottle, in front of my bedroom mirror.

Dirty Nicole: ‘You’ve kinda made that sound glammy?’

It was sort of like the Matrix, if you were snacky and it was a budget porn. Instead of the pills, I chose crisps. Instead of the creepy phone call…I swigged wine. Instead of black cape like coats…I wore nothing.

So basically…nothing like The Matrix, at all?

Hahaha! Hey! Ho!

Wednesday turned out to be a dream, in the end, after a dodgy start. I’ve been influencing…yes. But i’ve been going on a lot of Castings. There’s a lot of new shows coming out and I’ve basically, been on the audition rounds…with everything crossed.

But i’ve got really excited again. I love it so madly.  That’s why I couldn’t sleep. I was on the phone to America, about some show n the early hours of the morning.

I’m an entertainer at heart…nothing makes me happier.

However, I was kinda really stressed, for moments yesterday, but because i’m hormonal. I must be getting my period soon. I can tell because I’m enjoying eating everything I can and I would never EVER do that… in probably a zillion years.

Plus, I wanted one of those ‘Crying to Sam Smith’ baths, that ‘Passionate Jaz’ suggested. She apparently, gets into a RED HOT bath, and with the door closed, plays Sam Smith tracks, alone…and then CRIES. Lol I love it!!

Yippppppppppeee!

‘Yoooooooou SSSAAAaaaaaaY, you love meEEEEee…’

(..as you glug under..)

I decided against having one. I had an ace time with my babies instead. We had a great night. I’m loving being Mama. Ruby & Junior are literally the funnest people I know.

I’m not kidding, when I say that…

Some of my grown up friends aren’t even NEARLY as emotionally stable or confident as they are. Let alone as ACE! Probably because my mates didn’t have the delight of having ME raise them. 😉

Miserable swines.

Then I got called ‘Stuck up.’ (Dull.) At least i’m not ‘Vanilla.’ I’d rather be the absolute WONDER that I am, than a plain old Ryvita. It’s always the people with no excitement in their life, that hate on the ones, that have a GUST in their sails, a GIGGLE  in their wink.

I’m FAR FROM stuck up. You’d know that if you met me.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’m feisty…but what glamour puss isn’t. In fact i’m more polite, than I am feisty always!! Yet, I’m a lot of fun!)

I’m more big headed than I am stuck up. Maybe you got it mixed up? But that’s the truth. I’m humble and kind, yet I don’t think there is anyone, in any form of entertainment, that ISN’T a little big headed and ‘LOOK AT ME.’ 

IT’S OUR JOB.

There’s another Insta Question, that’s come in also, rambling on about my past and whether i’m ashamed of it!!!???!!!

‘Rolls Eyes.’

WHAT!! 

I’ve done really well for myself!!

Ashamed? Why would I EVER be ashamed of my past! I’ve had the most colourful, wonderful experiences so far…If anything I’m grateful, that i’ve been alive! It’s all part of my story and i’m proud of what I’ve achieved, how I’ve developed and glad that I’ve documented every single moment. I lived life with bells on and got up to all kinds of naughty. But I don’t care, because it has all contributed to who I am and what stand for today!!!

Rant Over.

(Techincally, I did say ‘Ask Me Anything.’)

 

Tony Boney: Y’know, there’s this new bracelet out that holds wine…’

Me: ‘It reminds me of a She Wee.’

Toney Boney: ‘Eh???’

Lucy: ‘You drink out of it, from your wrist…Not piss into it, from your vagina..’

Bottom line, it’s shocking and reminds me of She Wee, but for your mouth? I don’t know why? I’m just creative.  I mean,  I’d like booze on my wrist…if it was bouji. But really how much wine could you actually fit into, a WIDE wrist bangle.

Not enough for any normal human, Jesus or Ru Paul! 

Plus, it’s not very dainty is it? It’s just…alcoholism at it’s finest.

‘I’ve run out of wine…’

‘Here… there’s some on my fucking wrist.’

Gross!

But stop press!

Did you know that i have blogged for about FIFTEEN YEARS and that CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM has been going for TEN WHOLE YEARS,THIS YEAR! 

It’s my 10 year Anniversary and later on in the year, i’m going to be celebrating it…and THANKING all those who have helped my story come alive. (The first five years of my blog, I wrote in LA, on Myspace, on other people’s computers. Lol) 

Anyway, I’m going, I need to do my face, take a few Insta pics and then grab a quick drinks. I’m gonna make ‘Golfer Jonny’ (KatyP’s boyfriend,) feel my specs up and mould them to my face.

Kinky.

I’m in Leeds, tomorrow, meeting Blackhouse and then I’m headed to Tattu.

Have a great Wednesday.

If I leave you with anything…I’ll tell you that it only takes 21 DAYS to break ANY HABIT! 

All my love,

Chrissie x

Ps/ I’ve just got a DM from my friend Kyle…

‘How many thirsty guys popped up to that photo?’

(The one above. Lol)

Awww…and Firmonnell’s sent me a morning Video snap, saying she misses me. Why can’t guys be just like her!!!!

 

The Day I Got Played, Threesomes & Raps…

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Chick Friend: What you up too?

Me: ‘I’ve been working since 4.30 this morning.’

Chick Friend: ‘But what you up to now?’

Me: ‘I’m sprawled on my goddamn bed, in a sequin bikini, trying to influence a necklace..’

Chick Friend: ‘Get to the pub please…I need to speak to ya..’

Afternoony, my ‘Cheeky Cheekies!’ How are ya! Great weather again. Life is grand. I’m feeling hormonally imbalanced….but on the whole good. I’m stressing over nothing, as per usual….but i’m getting the hang of letting my mind rest. There’s a lot I have to do, or feel like I need to accomplish right now…and that is twirling through my head. Probably why, I’m pouring that extra glass of vino. 🙂

Anyway, yesterday I got to hang out with a new friend of mine, ‘J.D,’ who’s actually ‘Katy P’s’ mate…over a quick iced wine. J.D’s always great to just sit and chat with, in the sunshine (yes only in the sunshine, I don’t have friends in the rain,) because he’s like Buddha. Lol. He’s all calm, but fun..yet insightful. He always has a really shit love life, however really great at giving honest love life advice.

Honesty, maybe a week ago, he told me to send a guy a message, that i would never have sent…

JD: ‘He’ll definitely respond to that…He’s waiting for you to show interest..and if he doesn’t…He’s not worth ya time..’

I listened. It worked and now Katy P, J.D and I always do afternoon wines, when free.

So, yesterday, I was rambling on about how the people in LA are far less judgmental and far more open, than they are here in the UK. I mean growing up in West Hollywood..anything goes! No one judges anyone, on anything and mainly because everyone in that town is in entertainment, be you a model or an actress…and on a daily basis, as you are going from audition to audition, at Warner Brothers, Disney, Paramount…some casting office….you are being heavily JUDGED constantly….for work.

There’s also the fact that so much shit goes on, that we’ve kinda seen, been and heard it all. The things that would be seen as taboo over here, is taking with a pinch of..well…tequila over there. Lol

And ofcourse, because i’m a plank, the example I used was this…

‘Well one day, a chick friend of mine came into work, looking all glamourously worried and she kinda  just whispered to me that she had had sex with a co worker (we all worked in a celebrity gym at the time Lol) AND HIS MATE…at the same time….the night before.’

I described the incident in more graphic detail for JD. 🙂 Let’s just say…she as BUSY. Hahaha.

Infact, let me take you back about 14 years….(as if it’s been that long, ) this is how the story went…We’re at Crunch Gym, on Sunset, West Hollywood….checking in for a shift…

Chick: ‘Omg. So I had accidentally had a threesome last night with Rob and his mate…What the fuck…I’m like working with him later…’

Me: ‘Omg. NO! Hahah. After work… the night before, he asked me back to HIS…AND I had sex tooo! Not with his mate though. Lol. Shit. I sent him that needy as fuck text…Haha. I send him the needy as fuck text…when you were giving him a blow job. Hahaha.’

Chick: ‘Hahaha. He’s totally done us over.’

And yes, you may think this is all rather slutty etc etc…blah…But it’s life and well in Hollywood….being a young 20 something….Shit like this DOES NOT MATTER. It doesn’t even nearly graze the surface, of what you’ll actually go through.

So me, being me…and I’ll about ‘airing and sharing,’ I decided to wait until Rob came on his shift, so I could confront him. 🙂 We’re girls. We like to see a boy squirm.

It went like this…

Me: ‘Yo Rob…’

Rob: ‘Hey..’

Me: ‘You totally slept me with and then had a threesome with ******* the next night. I sent you that needy text…Just make like that didn’t happen…’

And you know what he did…because a BRITISH BOY, would have gone white with panic, tried to figure out some kind of last minute excuse, admitted it sheepishly, pretended that he hadn’t heard you, or just be all cocky because he’s been caught out.

Rob *paused* then PISSED HIMSELF LAUGHING. Lol. Literally laughed SO LOUD, in my face that he almost teared up and cried. He found it that funny, that he managed to play us both.

And because’re we’re LA…and he had just shouted out a ‘YES’ with an air pump… I started laughing…then my chick friend, who was unfortunate enough to have the threesome started pissing herself…and just like that….it was forgotten about, taken so lightly, filed under ‘life’ and today we’re all STILL (14 years on) the best of friends. It’s such a great story…

But what I’m saying is, that if the same story happened here, with some of my UK chick friends…it would’ve been drama…for weeks, months, maybe even years…

So I guess doing my 20’s in LA, kinda made me open minded, open hearted and a hell of a lot more relaxed. Like you can’t shock me..at all.

I mean, even when all three of us were laughing, my roommate walked by, who also worked at the gym, (who was a super popular male model)..looked over, said this..

Justin: ‘What you laughing at?’

Me: ‘Rob had a threesome with ****, but slept with ME the night before.. I sent him a needy text…whilst **** was giving him a blow job…lol That’s how lame I am.’

Justin…’Uh….Do you wanna get lunch…?’

Like that is how much IT SHOCKED Justin…my roomy, because he was SO LA. Infact, i think he was actually dating a really famous Pornstar at the time…because she was always in our condo, watching ‘Jackass.’ Justin & I were really great roommates because we did everything together…and had the same friends. The only time we ever argued, was once when he marched up to the top floor (which was my floor) of our condo…utterly wasted and decided to throw a tantrum because I refused to have sex with him. Hahaha.

Long story short….Rob’s laughing and making fun of me didn’t end there…

He then proceeded to write and PERFORM  RAP, that he had dedicated to ME called..

‘I hit, but I quit, because I found a better girl.’

Hahaha

He performed it with such vigor and even beat boxed it at me. Lol. I mean WHO DOES THAT…EVER…

Hahahaha.

But it’s such a hilarious memory….Plus, we were both models at the time and often we would get interviewed and asked how we knew each other and if we had any stories to share…

And being perfectly PR’d…we’d both just smile…make up a lame story, say we used to work together and hug…

Hahahaha.

I must have delivered my story in one whole breath, because I paused, looked up and JD….who is utterly SAINTLY. I mean, he’s such a gentleman, a bit wet maybe, some would say? Yet, such a good human. He looks out for people, selflessly…

I looked at him and he had thrown his head back in absolute hysterics, laughing SO LOUD and so hard that he was crying! 🙂

It was almost as if, in that moment, I made this little saint of a friend…feel ALIVE…(fair enough, at the expense of my dignity Lol)…But what i’ll tell you, is that THAT is not only a gift, or a talent…Yet it is always why or how this little blog works….

Love ya,

Chrissie x

Ps, I’ve just got an Insta DM from one of my best LA guy friends Theo…and all it reads is..

‘I miss you.’

How sweet. 🙂

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Life, Drinks & Mexican Blow Jobs

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Happy Bank Holiday! Suns Out! Funs Out! Let’s get playing! (Can you tell i’m doing shit at this ‘staying in and not drinking when it’s sunny’ thing? But who cares? I had a chilled one yesterday and let’s face it, I’m hear to live with my full face on, not twiddle thumbs in a knitted cardy.) Its important that we stick to our strengths.

If you’re in LA! (And a lot of my closest friends are! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.) Hope you had an AMAZING ‘CINCO DE MAYO!’ Any excuse to enjoy a tipple, even if we do it in sombreros and celebrate the fact that I invented the ‘Mexican Blowjob.’ (You need to ‘back track’ blog for that information. But it’s totally flipping worth it.)

It’s basically, the art of giving someone a blow job…yet at the same time HUMMING the theme tune to the ‘Mexican Hat Dance.‘ And before you all get narky. I’m allowed to say this, because *many moons ago,* I had a Mexican Husband, and that’s when I decided to invent this treat…So THERE. I’m not a floozy. Just a great ‘at the time’ wife? Yay! Divorce!!!  Lol. (Good Save.)

If you’re weird and you don’t know the theme tune to the ‘Mexican Hat Dance‘ IS… Hit *Play* bitches now…  🙂 And yes…I did!

Okay, so i’ve been whining on about my love life for a bit now, and I do want you to know that it IS actually deliberate..and you’ll find out why shortly. However, our  Love lives, be you a girl or boy.. is such an important thing to us, isn’t it? Even if we play it down. I always find it strange when guys or even girls don’t have the time or ability to love. Maybe because i’m the opposite way. But I just couldn’t live a life with someone who was numb to emotion or FUN.

DON’T BE DULL. LIVE. BE FUN. HAVE A LAUGH. I MEAN I DON’T WHY PEOPLE TAKE THEMSELVES OR LIFE SO SERIOUSLY AT TIMES? RELAX. ENJOY IT. I’m someone who just KNOWS how to LIVE…and i’ll go to my grave happy because of it.

*Throws you a life line. Boomerangs you a chance*

Yesterday was super sunny, but I had a chill day kinda day, dedicated to family. I was in INSTA JAIL for the majority of the day and it was fine at first, until i got frustrated, sweaty and ran out of gin…then it wound me up. I’m going off gin. It doesn’t give me the gusto,t he spunk, the ‘Ooh laa’ that I need. Luckily, ‘Miss Murphy’ who I adore, (i’m starting to adore her madly,) sat with opposite me with a..

‘*Like* something and let me screenshot it.’

‘WHEN AM I OUT OF INSTA JAIL. Like i have shit to promote through the week!!’

‘ Miss. Murphy’ does PR for a living, in Leeds but our kids go to school together and what I adore about ‘The Murph’ is that I see her in snippets and when I do, I literally tell her everything, without her permission…sort of like she’s confession box. Whatever that is? 😉 My heart lights up when I see her, because I’ll either get to repent, or she’ll join in with the verbal Tom Foolery, without judgement.

Today, I want drinks and i’m certainly gonna get them. it’s me time. I’m choosing ‘The Carleton’ as my haunt…and well I’ll know everyone there, so I’ll only need to rock up with a smile and bump into EVERYONE. I’m sorted!

Life is great. It’s almost like i’m trying to pretend that.. NOT MUCH is going on, when A LOT of really serious stuff is occurring. I don’t know why i’m doing that?  Maybe i’m worried and I don’t like you to know that? Or maybe I just can’t believe my luck..and i’m absorbing it quietly? Or Maybe I just want you to think life can be easy? I dunno? Yet, it seems to be working. Haha.  So ‘whatevers.’ You’ll hear about it soon, so don’t worry. I’m really excited and like I always say, I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

THINGS ARE CHANGING. NEW PEOPLE ARE SHIMMINING IN..New opportunities are occurring…

(Hahaha. I can’t at all concentrate because ‘The Mexican Hat Dance’ song keeps playing on my laptop and I can’t turn it off. How do I make it stop? It’s putting me off!! Lol Plus, that Husband once through me across a restaurant by accident in LA..so he didn’t even deserve my treat. Don’t get all stressed. He picked me up when drunk and attempted a baby fling…but I FLEW ACROSS TABLES, because I’m light like that? 😉 I was in a tshirt that read ‘I break hearts on a daily basis’ I was 20 something, crying lol and then some other dude called ‘Mickey,’ who has now passed away, tried to comfort me in a strip club. Hahaha.) 

I’m really missing my girl bestie ‘Firmonnell’ right now. You need a good chick team, don’t you and she’s certainly one of THE BEST girls I know. In a world where you live your life publicly online, there’s actually always secrets and well… she certainly knows all mine. She’s the only person I tell EVERYTHING TO, honestly, without censor.

Me: ‘I don’t even know why he didn’t  evenlove me?’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s been done for a long time. It was good FOR the TIME…THAT time…but just move forward. He’s so dull.’

I kinda felt free…

The reason why I love a bit of ‘Firmonnell’ (who needs a better blog name) is because when I don’t tell her the truth, she sees right through me…Yet, she doesn’t make me feel bad for it. Lol.  I messaged her the other day, because I was feeling ‘needy af.’ I just needed advice…this is what she said…

Firmonnell: ‘Find someone who takes your breath away, who can look after you, who makes you laugh, who makes you shine and doesn’t hold you back.’

And from different sides of the city….that’s all I needed to hear. Two chicks, from two different walks of life, threw each other a life line, because they saw the world through the same eyes…

I’d love someone to take my breath away, yet I want them to be bantery and fun, at the same time. I love a ‘handsome’ cheeky chappy. One that can make fun of you, but love you madly. Lol. But to be honestly, i’m pretty happy, because I don’t have to really look…they’ll step forward. It’s what men do.

Anyway, i’m off for breakfast with my daughter, before I drop her off at her daddies…and tinkle down to a beer garden for Bank Holiday. I’m like it’s 9.17am? Is the pub open yet? Hahah.

But enjoy it. Do, DO LIVE!!

It’s Summer right! If you follow this blog religiously, you’ll know that I usually regard Summer time, as a season where people just ‘fling.’ They never seem to fall in love…they ‘crush’ and ‘fling’…as Winter is when the ‘coupling up’ happens., people are more lonely during that time and Christmas kinda fills hearts with merriment and all that jazz. Lol

This Summer is different, because this Summer i’ve grown into a woman. So as you’re drinking out of coconuts (because honestly how many more people can I see on my newsfeed, drinking out of coconuts this year. Last year it was the ‘flamingo/unicorn inflatable..’ Lol) I’m gonna find me some REAL FUN, that fun that LASTS a lifetime…

Chrissie x

Thank you for following my life…

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Spring Cleans, Hollywood & Really Dodgy Fetish Parties ;)

I’m feeling all boated and knackered today, but i’ve got in the bag. My ‘Va Vooms’ on fire and because I feel like the busiest bee in all of the beautiful land…(Bee’s never look that busy to me, they just look like they try and SOUND busy, yet really they just fly around stinging people, whilst being stripey…) However, yes…I am busy with ‘the niggly bits’ the bits I despise. The bits where it comes in really handy, if OTHER PEOPLE do them for you. 🙂

*PLEASE HELP! HELP AWAY!*

And because I hate all things ‘niggly’ and it’s not wine o clock yet….I stayed really focused and distracted myself 🙂 by not concentrating, Googling bikinis and instead cleaned three rooms of my home from top to bottom, listening to ‘Little Mix’ in pyjama bottoms and a bra, and making work calls.

If I ever decide to clean my home that intensely from top to bottom…You know that I must be trying to bury my head in the glittery sand. I once threw out a pan and bought a new one simply because I couldn’t be arsed to clean it. 🙂

It’s like the most boring distraction in the world ever. It’s lame. Don’t do it. Sleeping with Greek men in togas is a good distratcion…Seeing what Michelle Keegan looks like in a bikini is a distraction…Cocktails…Friends, Banter….ANYTHING.

However, Scrubbing and hoovering is NOT! It’s shit. I only did it to burn extra ‘cos i’m bloated’ calories. But now i feel like I need 20 wines…

I have a really busy next 2 weeks…maybe 3 weeks…It’s jammed and at the same time i’m armed with The Wunna Babies. (Ruby squeezed all my Johnsons Baby Lotion of the pink bottle and and filled it up with water. That was fun. That was great! What a beautiful child. Didn’t at all make me want to RIP MY **&&*&*$$£”””” hair out. 🙂

Like the time when my LA guy roommate kept trying my clothes on in secret, when I was younger. I’d lay them all out, ready for a night on the razzle. I’d come back, after skipping off to buy wine, to find them inside out, worn…and smelling of sweaty boy. Lol. But much better than the time, I walked back in after late night Hollywood drinks…and found 7 grown up males, in pretend NAPPIES/DIAPERS, drinking beer and dancing in the living room….

I walked in with my best friend, who’s now a really successful film producer..(Good switch from ‘Party Boy’) and all I could hear was them panicking and shouting…

‘FUCK!!! DUDE!!!!! SHE’S FUCKING BACK ALREADY! DON’T LET HER GO UPSTAIRS.’

But me being Me…It weirdly didn’t bother me. Lol. I found it really funny..Plus, nothing is WORSE than having a secret fetish party and having a human, (who’s not part of the fun) *surprise* walk in…Let alone ‘surprise walk in’ and ALSO make you feel SHITTY… (Yet they were in diapers? Lol. I’m ridiculously laid back , when it comes to ‘taboo’ behaviour. I’ve seen so much…that that wasn’t anything really.

Me: ‘My feet hurt, are there anymore drinks…Why are you pretending to be an octopus? I’m going upstairs…’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘That’s Chrissie W’…’

Roomie: ‘Wunna…Yeah. She’s my roommate.’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘AW! FUCKSAKE DUDE!!!’

Roomie: ‘Don’t let her go upstairs! Oh! Hi, Matt!”

(That was my bestie.)

‘Chrissie, you’ve got some mail and that dude you went on a date with…that weird Bodyguard one…dropped your stuff back… Like a belt?’

Me: ‘Does it say *DIRT* on it? Is it that diamante one? He hasn’t even fixed the *Y* on it, has it…What an idiot. I hate dates… I’m just not gonna speak to him..’

And this was all when i was in my mid 20’s, and whilst my roommate was in a pretend diaper…and he was a lawyer. 🙂

HAHAHA. (Sorry, I’m just pissing myself….. My friend Matt & I did so much better for ourselves…Lol)

Upstairs was awful. Lol. Even I was shocked. I’ve told the story before and it IS embedded in this website…

But yeah…Lol…What I was actually going to say, is that now i’ve told the story…I noticed that the whole random fetish party didn’t bother me at all, yet the guy who decided to try on my clothes, whilst I was out, behind my back, BEFORE I HAD EVEN WORN THEM……

PISSED ME OFF.

So, it must be the little things that wind me up.

But anyway, thank you everyone for reading my blog! I’ve received so many inbox messages from literally all over the world, from ladies, men, girls, guys and saying that they’re loving it, hooked or have just had a first time ‘peek.’

Like ‘Trigg’ had a first time peek yesterday, because he couldn’t follow quite obvious instructions. Lol.

Trigg: ‘I didn’t know I could swipe up?’

Me: ‘What? Even though it says SWIPE UP??’

And a guy from Vienna messaged me this morning saying that he read yesterdays blog and loved it and that HE actually used to work right by me in LA, by The Grove. He has this wonderful Youtube channel about his travels, so I’m gonna check that out today.

Plus, I love that all Ladies, love a ‘school mums’ blog. Unfortunately, I went with diaper ridden fetish party today…But hey…It’s all about balance, right? 😉

I had a moment yesterday, where I stopped a second after being rushed out of a meeting and into a car, where I *paused* and got to chill for a moment….

I sent this message…

‘Missing ya.’

They replied with a..

‘Miss u to xx’

Then life scuttled us along…..

I’ve got lots going on, shoots, influencey things, I’ve got to fit in the time to commit to filming, flights to Spain, meetings, Motherhood…and my friends….

In this Chapter, my newest one…I am being a really shit friend. I went from having all the time in the world, to having no time…Or having to prioritse my time. Plus, I have ‘powers above’ who make me hinder to sacrifices. But I just have to do it. It’s work and i’m building…

But this weekend, it’s my chick friend ‘Fairytales’ birthday drinks…So I’ll be celebrating it with her at The Electric Theatre….

I actually almost forgot, because I had fittings and flights and all sorts of busy mayhem…But Mel reminded me on Monday….I love ‘People Reminders.’ And just like that…I’ll be there!

The Career’s going really well. I’m feeling really confident right now…

I’m gonna SMASH IT.

Cue: FIRE

What’s Sexy To Me……..

Tuesday feels great! I’m filled with excitement and gusto. It’s so different to yesterday and I thank the good ‘jollies’ for it! I have a black coffee by my side, to protect me from evil and an updo bobbled in tight, to hold any form of dignity, that I may possibly left, firmly in place.

These 37 years have been colourful. WONDERFUL, but boy have they been colourful. YET, let’s face it, if you don’t have a lifetime memory bank, filled with fun, trials, tribulations and well… mainly debauchery, than what do you have? 🙂 (Sense probably. Lol)

I KNOW, that when I’m 80 years old, withering away in some old people’s home because everyone’s forgotten to love me…with my rummy cocktail, still probably posting on instagram, because I’ll mistakenly believe i’ve still ‘goddit‘…..I KNOW, that my ‘when I was young…’tales will be OUTSTANDING. 

The older I get the more open my tales will become on this blog, waaaay before i’m 80 and simply because I’ll careless about being inappropriate. 🙂

I’m currently sat in on someone’s shoot, a chick friend of mine, I’m gonna call her ‘Daisy.’

Daisy: ‘Don’t call me Daisy. It makes me sound like a cow.’

Me: ‘Yeah, you’re right. You’re more of a bitch…Lol. Shall I go with *Tinker* because you’re a nuisance…?’

Daisy: ‘Yeah, I love that!!’

I went with Daisy. My blog. My rules. 🙂

Anyway, I have meetings for the entire rest of the day and a Skype audition later, yet I said, I’d come sit in on her shoot, as it’s her first ever, ‘boudoir’ shoot…and she feels all nervous. (It’s basically just a ‘Glamour Shoot’ where she has to lay around and pout in her undies.) She wants me to tell everyone that she’s ‘not trying to be a model’…but SHE IS, trying to be a model. Lol. (There’s nothing wrong with ‘trying to be a model.’) 

Me: Did you even practice?’

Daisy: ‘No…’

Me: ‘Well, that’s a good start. As if you’ve come, booked in and not even practiced!!! It’s like you haven’t trained for your game, or revised for your exam.’

Daisy: ‘Do you practice…’

Me: YES! ALL THE TIME!!

She’s currently stood in a studio in Leeds and warm because i’ve made them turn the heating on full blast. (Mainly because I don’t wanna sit in the cold and everyones shit at shooting in the cold.) She’s in knickers, heels and a dressing gown, looking like she’s lost her way to the Post Office, or something? Lol

Daisy: ‘Why are you laughing??? Can you stop taking the piss out of me! And can you stop typing everything that I’m saying to you. You’re meant to be helping me!!’

Me: ‘I am! I’m lightening you up! You’re like a plank of wood. You need to relax more, wiggle into it a bit. You look as though, you FEEL about as sexy as that door knob.’

Daisy: ‘Door knob. Cheers. Lol’

Me: No. Lol. Like, if you look at that door knob, it’s all stiff and dull. Take three screws out of it and let it dangle off the door, on one screw…. and swing it. It’s now sexy.’

Daisy: Shut the F*** up Wunna! This is like some kind of Mr Miyagi training. I don’t do this every morning after the school run, like you! Have you called me Tinker?’

Me: ‘Yes…’ 😉

Anyway, so whilst they’re setting up, I’m blogging and it’s annoying because i’m sat by a really sunny window and I can’t exactly see my screen very well…It’s cool, it’s like typing blind and hoping for the best! Kinda like, how my real life pans out…

But I say it all the time. From my experience….a glamour shoot, a boudior shoot, isn’t about what you’re wearing or what you’re not wearing.

Wahey!!

It’s about FEELING SEXY IN IT, FEELING FULFILLED & FEELING ALL WOMANLY. You can plonk anyone in a pair of heels, stockings and pants and if they don’t feel secure, fluid, sexy or happy….you can tell. They look like an awkward cardboard cut out, that’s about to get run over, by a slow moving, oncoming tractor and they don’t know what to do?

Me: ‘Yo! Don’t try and *be a model*…Try and be YOU in the shots. What makes YOU sexy. You’re doing a weird model face.’

Daisy: ‘It’s my DEAD EYES. I haven’t got my specs on. It feels all blurry.’

Me: ‘Hahahahah! Good! Like you’re drunk! Now you CAN’T see what’s around you, so you can go for it… Glamour into the blur. LOL.’

Daisy: ‘I hope you get on a show soon, where you’re trapped for weeks and everyone has a proper go at you. Lol. I’ll laugh and just shout *glamour into the blur, bitch.*

I’ve just turned some music on, because I don’t know how anyone can shoot well without tunes on. (Do notice, how i’m simply altering her surroundings to suit ME. Haha.) Gets you in the mood, doesn’t it!

(I’ve put this on… So SEE! I AM TRYING TO HELP.)

This is the hardest blog to write ever, because I keep having to get up, run off, do stuff and run back, simply to type a paragraph. (She’s now moaning because i’ve been offered a drink and she hasn’t.)

Daisy: Aw! Yeah! Offer Chrissie Wunna  a drink, but not me.’

She’s shooting now, so i’m not gonna disturb her.

But anyway, I’ve been getting a load of messages from people who are shocked that i’m Northern, that i’m Yorkshire. I am.

Definitely born ‘Yorkshire’ have two Burmese parents, travelled over to LA and sounded American for years, (but I had to learn to do that because no one could understand what I was saying and when I was on tv show auditions, they didn’t want me to have a British accent…I even had to go see a dialect coach, to change my accent.) Then I landed back in the UK, did the ‘living in London,’ thing for work, where my accent turned all posh for a bit… and now i’m back in Yorkshire…So, basically my accents all muddled! How would I describe it..?

It’s like having a pub lunch, in a Chinese restaurant, as hip hop music plays in the background and you’re on the phone to The Queen.

Long story short…I am from Yorkshire.

Right, I’ve got a lot to do today and I need to go help her on her shoot. It’s my daughters 7th birthday at the weekend and she’s wanting a trip to ‘Sundown Adventure Land’ this Saturday.

My friend Nick, is on ‘The Best Boys’ of ‘Take Me Out, this Saturday, after causing a Take Me Out **hoo haa,** the last time he was on the show! I’m excited to watch him and I really want him to have this amazing career in telly, because he deserves it.

I’m still bubbling with excitement to shoot my CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM advert and t pick up a new whip!

Thank you for all the love on my ‘socials.’

I certainly need more coffee.

Quote of the day! One that I spied last night!

‘NEVER CONFUSE WHAT YOU’RE OFFERED WITH WHAT YOU’RE WORTH!’

Lots of love,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overnight Success, Carbs & Dwarves

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Two little, happy twin dwarf men, have been popping into my dreams for the past 3 nights in a row! (Don’t even ask. My mind is beyond any form of normality.)  They’re just happy as can be, chilling in my dream land….these two twin dwarves.

It worried me and made me eat a ton of carbs for safety. I stuffed everything into the most ‘macca’ sandwich you could imagine, that was filled with everything in the foodie world, that could possibly make the ‘Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…’ list.

You would’ve burst into a euphoric sense of ‘NOM NOM.’ I even stopped being ‘Veggie’ for it. 🙂 Or maybe that was the time I had pork scratchings?

On the whole, I’m having a lovely time. I’ve worked a great deal and been quite the ‘social’ queen, that I took the last couple days off away from picture taking and all the rest of the work…just to enjoy some family time with Ruby & Junior. I really cherish that and I used to blog & post about them, a lot more than I do now.

Not because ‘I don’t care’ and only care about ‘selfie taking..’ yet because that part of my life is so special to me…I keep it just for me, because it’s real. I treasure it. There’s a lot of things, that I keep just for me, now.

But back to the Twinny Dwarf Men. (Sounds like kinky a fetish.)

I eventually came to my senses and Googled the SHIT out of what this could possibly mean...??? (My Google History is the MOST BIZARRE sighting!)

Luckily, the omen is good. It apparently means that i’m quite possibly charmed, that i’ll rise to the top in life and be swirled with hood health…(hood health? Lol) I mean, GOOD HEALTH…. and jolly finances in the future? (Your health is actually your life currency. I always forget to be good to myself.)

HELLOOOO ALL THE COCKTAILS!

Right, so I’ve got lots going on and Wunna Land is slowly, but surely slipping on its sexy pants, attaching rockets to the frilly bits…and getting ready to..

*WHOOSH WHOOSH DADDIO*

I’ve always taken chances. Far less impulsively as a grown up. As a 20 something in Hollywood, I was an IMPULSE NIGHTMARE…I learnt a lot of lessons fast and KARMA WAS AN ABSOLUTE TOTAL BITCH. 🙂 It made a decent 30 something year old. I’ll tells ya! And if you can’t be a decent ‘30 something,’ then you’re in BIG TROUBLE. I get that we all learn things at different speeds…But it’s much better to be wiser at 30 something, than to not.

Only DO WHAT YOU LOVE. Only do what you want. Be with someone who adores you. Who you adore. Respect them. Work hard. Take chances. Dreams come true all the time. Every moment of ever day, dreams have come true in my life…consecutively, throughout my whole entire existence.

Literally everything I dreamt of as a little one, in Yorkshire…came true and because I wasn’t afraid to give it a go. Win or lose. I was fearless. As a 13 year old girl, I told my mum and my friends, that I was going to MOVE to Hollywood, be a model and an actor….and marry a movie star. (Lol. That bit’s ‘cringe.’)

By the age of 21, I was there, in West Hollywood, at a ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ audition, I had got scouted at a coffee shop by a modelling agent… and an actor had got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. (We’re definitely divorced now, because we certainly weren’t right for each other.) BUT the point is, I did it. It happened. And I knew it would. I knew how that chapter of my life would happen, years before it did. I said it all the time, as a teen…and yeah lots of my teen friends, used to make fun of me for it…

But I did it… 😉

Everyone always sees the success part! I say that a lot, don’t I.

But, I haven’t had it easy. GOD! I didn’t even have it easy until the end of last year. I’VE WORKED my kitten arse off…DAY AND NIGHT... and as a single mum of two…

I juggled EVERYTHING, in order to try and make things happen. I worked lots. I got home, looked after the babies, I blogged. I’d end up having to stay up late, to wait until Ruby & Junior were asleep. THEN wake up at 4.30am, to send out work emails, and hit the different time zones and whilst trying to negotiate ‘collabo’ deals…

At six o clock in the morning… my alarm would go off. I’d get ready for the day and wake the babies up, to do the school run, before smashing a REALLY BUSY work day and maybe even having to finish up late, jump on a train, work in a different city, sleep a little, and check out of a hotel at five o clock in the morning. (As my Mum looked after them.)

This is after having to wake up at  4am, just to get ready….I’d arrive back home at around 7.30am..Do the school run and start the work process over again. 🙂

SO…IT HASN’T BEEN EASY!

But…I DID IT!

NOW! LIFE IS EASY! 🙂

So, yeah..I WILL HAVE a cocktail or FOUR, thank you very much. I’ll celebrate my life and inspire folk along the way.

Every single person who IS a success, has worked SO SO hard. They took risks. They didn’t settle for the life… they never wanted to lead. Yeah, they did what they had to, but their focus was always WHAT THEY LOVED. They made sacrifices. Even through the struggly bits, they believed in themselves. Even when they thought they didn’t…DEEP DOWN, they did.

And it started for me as a kid… I was at dancing school, after normal school…Then acting class, this class, that stage show, an audition here, an audition there…It started when I was five years old, after I BEGGED my little Burmese doctor parents to send me off to perform ANYWHERE, because I was definitely doing their heads in.

I loved it.  I lived for it.

DREAM BIG, WORK HARD. COMMIT TO IT.

(It’s the same when it comes to love.)

It’s weird, because I feel like, there are tons of people who DREAM of having a certain life…They want to LIVE that life….YET AREN’T WILLING TO PUT IN THE WORK, or take the chances? They try and short cut their way to it. (Yet, If you take a ‘short cut,’ you kinda get ‘cut short.’)

And then you have the people who grumble and ‘hate’ on the people who are doing, or have done well. *YAWN.* Things like that, never bother me, because i’m pretty confident and emotionally grown. I’ve been through everything and back again, in stilettos and with a wink.

But I know, that a lot of people find it difficult…So listen up…

When someone hates on you, it’s NEVER about YOU and ALWAYS ABOUT THEM. They’re really transparent & very usually a keyboard warrior.’ So, if you’re getting hated on along the way, don’t let it bother you. Keep doing what you love. I’ve NEVER seen a hater, have a better life, than the person they are actually having a go’ at. And I’m saying this because I watched a really talented human get ‘hated on’ socially by his friends, simply because he went to an audition to be on a TV show. I hope that really talented human, becomes a really big success, one day.

It’s about taking chances without fear…and definitely having the ability to not absorb any negativity thrown at you and instead learning to use it as motivation.

(Why am I sounding like a Self Help book today??? Must be the carbs.)

I mean, on my ‘socials’ these days, I’m receiving a lot of ‘love’ from people and then once in a while, someone will pop into Wunna Land with their knickers all a twist, OR they’ll just be wanting to have a go at ‘trolling’… for attention.

I mean, a few weeks ago someone sent me a DM simply saying,

‘Nob..’

I’ll give’em that. Lol.

Then I recieved another one reading, …

‘You moronic fuck face.’

Yet straight afterward, they deleted their entire profile. Meaning, the last DM they wanted to send was TO ME…and they needed it to say the ABOVE. 🙂

Hahaha…

It’s just life…How it is. Then two minutes later, my inbox and comment feed with filled with love.

Simples.

Laugh it off. Get on with your story…Be a success.

I always reckon, it’s the ones that have chosen to do something out of true LOVE and passion…dipped in determination, be it loud or quiet, that get the best results.The ones that have put in the years of time, years of effort and have steadily grown their own world of ‘clout’…that make it and LAST.

They didn’t take the short cut…they carved their own looooooooooong, steeeeeady path and walked it, ALL THE FLIPPING WAY…with a wine.

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Happy Weekend!

Chrissie.

PS/ Pardon my preachiness.

PPS/ I need to go on a diet. Someone help me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hear Me Now………

Let’s have some fun now, hey!

We’ve all worked really hard all year. We’ve made sacrifices. We’ve sweated blood, tinkered tears and danced out a few melodramatic tantrums. Things have gone right. Things have gone wrong. We’ve won. We’ve lost. We’ve learnt. We’ve all probably flirted a little. Fallen in love. Fallen in lust. Or even fallen straight down that jolly old plug hole.

*WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

We’ve made up. We’ve brayed up. We’ve found some new strangers, who have probably become really great friends. We got tans through the Summer. Tried to take up new hobbies. We’ve ALL been on a diet, at some point. We’ve earned a bunch of money. We’ve spent it all on rubbish. J Some dipped into their past. Some are looking forward to the future. Some put our stepping stones in place, to march boldy into 2018.

We’re in November of 2017. It’s been a great one for me so far (and yes it’s still going,) but it’s been a tough one. Not just for me, but for everyone. You’ve either made changes, or committed to non glitzy ruts.

Let’s have some fun now, hey!

I’m bored of being anxious. I’m bored of being stressed. I feel BOUJI AS HELL, right now. I feel like the world is my oyster. It all feels so glitzy, that I could even *wink* it as ‘magical.’ I am the luckiest girl in town.

For the rest of 2017, and we only have a few weeks, i’m just gonna commit to art of ‘good times.’ I’ve made all my appropriate changes now (I still have one left,) to guide me merrily into the New Year. I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m excited. I have a new chapter a dawning in January. I’m just gonna fling on a jumper, slip on a pair of knee high boots, whop out a smile and with giant Skinny Prosecco in my hand, I’m gonna celebrate life and the 11 months that 2017 has brought me so far.

I’ve worked my arse off this year. No one can take that away from me. But, without balance, you’ve have nothing. The most successful humans have everything. Not just riches. Not just love. They have everything. They’ve stayed true to what they’ve always wished for and they got it. They’re HAPPY. They have their dream job and make money from it, handsomely. They’ve found their ideal partner, who loves them whole heartedly without condition. They have fun. Lots of it! They’re raising a family. They do everything and manage it ALL, SO WELL, that it’s actually MORE than BLISS. It’s EASY. They wake up every morning and feel ALIVE.

 That is SUCCESS to ME.

Anyway, let me cut the jigglies…

Wait…i’ve just got a Whatsapp Message from ‘London Business Man.’ He’s in Hong Kong. I think he’s been doing something crazy like five flights in four days. It’s great because we’re really good friends now and you would’ve never thought that because obviously I had ‘London Business Man’ drama a couple of years ago. We were never together. But at the time, years ago… I did want to be. He didn’t. He just fancied me, had just got out of a relationship and wasn’t looking for anything serious.

Long story short…my life changed. I left him to it and I stopped speaking to him. We fell out. He dated someone else. They broke up. I fell for a completely new ‘swirl’ who had me head over heels, in excitement…for most of this year. That swirl calmed down… I don’t like that it ‘calmed down.’ I like the guy a lot. But what can you do? Just it’s life….

Why have I gone on such a massive rant…?

Basically…’London Business Man’ says he misses me.

Firmonnell (My best chick friend): ‘You need to not bother…He just likes the chase..and it’s not like you’re actually going to chose to be with him now.’

I have a busy next year and I think on the whole, he maybe wouldn’t understand my work commitments.

Inadequate Chris: ‘That’s why people in entertainment, usually date people in entertainment.’

Yet i’m not one to judge. I sometimes ACT needy, because i think it’s how i should act, but in real life, i’m quite the independent chica. Don’t get it twisted. I’m tough as bricks.

So yeah, I actually don’t know him romantically. He’s just a good friend. But i’ll definitely do cocktails with him next time i’m in London. The rest of the year’s about fun right. I have a lot to fit in. I mean my BEST LA Baby Brother, Ronnie is flying in from LA to see me in December. (It’s so cute, because when we were young we’d play ‘doing photoshoots’ and tell each other everything. We both ended up being real life models. I got on the telly. I started this blog. He ended up leaving the catwalk to become a Celebrity Chef in LA, and have his own show.

To this day…we are still the best of friends and all from us working part time, in a gym together, when he was 19, in West Hollywood. We have so many memories. But I’ll tell you about them when he arrives.

(I’m currently trying to find my Lypsal, as my lips are dry as hell! Are yours?)

Anyway, I’m currently writing this whilst sat on my bed in a faux fur. I’ve completed the school run with Ruby and Junior. I didn’t have an early start. I’m off to find coffee and because this afternoon, I’ll be at Trinity Leeds, with Candy Mechanics. They’re gonna turn me into a chocolate lollipop today for their live launch, as their super robotic, modernised candy making stall, opens up in Leeds, in a couple weeks for Christmas. If you’ve been at events…You may have found their novelty stands, as entertainment and gift favours. If not….you can order online and be turned into chocolate yourself. I’m so excited. I really honoured that they wanted me to go down and take a peeky. The kids were mean to go, but they’re in school today, so I promised to take them down when the Pop UP officially opens.

Love you lots.

I need coffee…

Cue: Random Tune that I ADORE

 

Have a great FRIDAY!!!