The Day I Got Played, Threesomes & Raps…

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

Chick Friend: What you up too?

Me: ‘I’ve been working since 4.30 this morning.’

Chick Friend: ‘But what you up to now?’

Me: ‘I’m sprawled on my goddamn bed, in a sequin bikini, trying to influence a necklace..’

Chick Friend: ‘Get to the pub please…I need to speak to ya..’

Afternoony, my ‘Cheeky Cheekies!’ How are ya! Great weather again. Life is grand. I’m feeling hormonally imbalanced….but on the whole good. I’m stressing over nothing, as per usual….but i’m getting the hang of letting my mind rest. There’s a lot I have to do, or feel like I need to accomplish right now…and that is twirling through my head. Probably why, I’m pouring that extra glass of vino. 🙂

Anyway, yesterday I got to hang out with a new friend of mine, ‘J.D,’ who’s actually ‘Katy P’s’ mate…over a quick iced wine. J.D’s always great to just sit and chat with, in the sunshine (yes only in the sunshine, I don’t have friends in the rain,) because he’s like Buddha. Lol. He’s all calm, but fun..yet insightful. He always has a really shit love life, however really great at giving honest love life advice.

Honesty, maybe a week ago, he told me to send a guy a message, that i would never have sent…

JD: ‘He’ll definitely respond to that…He’s waiting for you to show interest..and if he doesn’t…He’s not worth ya time..’

I listened. It worked and now Katy P, J.D and I always do afternoon wines, when free.

So, yesterday, I was rambling on about how the people in LA are far less judgmental and far more open, than they are here in the UK. I mean growing up in West Hollywood..anything goes! No one judges anyone, on anything and mainly because everyone in that town is in entertainment, be you a model or an actress…and on a daily basis, as you are going from audition to audition, at Warner Brothers, Disney, Paramount…some casting office….you are being heavily JUDGED constantly….for work.

There’s also the fact that so much shit goes on, that we’ve kinda seen, been and heard it all. The things that would be seen as taboo over here, is taking with a pinch of..well…tequila over there. Lol

And ofcourse, because i’m a plank, the example I used was this…

‘Well one day, a chick friend of mine came into work, looking all glamourously worried and she kinda  just whispered to me that she had had sex with a co worker (we all worked in a celebrity gym at the time Lol) AND HIS MATE…at the same time….the night before.’

I described the incident in more graphic detail for JD. 🙂 Let’s just say…she as BUSY. Hahaha.

Infact, let me take you back about 14 years….(as if it’s been that long, ) this is how the story went…We’re at Crunch Gym, on Sunset, West Hollywood….checking in for a shift…

Chick: ‘Omg. So I had accidentally had a threesome last night with Rob and his mate…What the fuck…I’m like working with him later…’

Me: ‘Omg. NO! Hahah. After work… the night before, he asked me back to HIS…AND I had sex tooo! Not with his mate though. Lol. Shit. I sent him that needy as fuck text…Haha. I send him the needy as fuck text…when you were giving him a blow job. Hahaha.’

Chick: ‘Hahaha. He’s totally done us over.’

And yes, you may think this is all rather slutty etc etc…blah…But it’s life and well in Hollywood….being a young 20 something….Shit like this DOES NOT MATTER. It doesn’t even nearly graze the surface, of what you’ll actually go through.

So me, being me…and I’ll about ‘airing and sharing,’ I decided to wait until Rob came on his shift, so I could confront him. 🙂 We’re girls. We like to see a boy squirm.

It went like this…

Me: ‘Yo Rob…’

Rob: ‘Hey..’

Me: ‘You totally slept me with and then had a threesome with ******* the next night. I sent you that needy text…Just make like that didn’t happen…’

And you know what he did…because a BRITISH BOY, would have gone white with panic, tried to figure out some kind of last minute excuse, admitted it sheepishly, pretended that he hadn’t heard you, or just be all cocky because he’s been caught out.

Rob *paused* then PISSED HIMSELF LAUGHING. Lol. Literally laughed SO LOUD, in my face that he almost teared up and cried. He found it that funny, that he managed to play us both.

And because’re we’re LA…and he had just shouted out a ‘YES’ with an air pump… I started laughing…then my chick friend, who was unfortunate enough to have the threesome started pissing herself…and just like that….it was forgotten about, taken so lightly, filed under ‘life’ and today we’re all STILL (14 years on) the best of friends. It’s such a great story…

But what I’m saying is, that if the same story happened here, with some of my UK chick friends…it would’ve been drama…for weeks, months, maybe even years…

So I guess doing my 20’s in LA, kinda made me open minded, open hearted and a hell of a lot more relaxed. Like you can’t shock me..at all.

I mean, even when all three of us were laughing, my roommate walked by, who also worked at the gym, (who was a super popular male model)..looked over, said this..

Justin: ‘What you laughing at?’

Me: ‘Rob had a threesome with ****, but slept with ME the night before.. I sent him a needy text…whilst **** was giving him a blow job…lol That’s how lame I am.’

Justin…’Uh….Do you wanna get lunch…?’

Like that is how much IT SHOCKED Justin…my roomy, because he was SO LA. Infact, i think he was actually dating a really famous Pornstar at the time…because she was always in our condo, watching ‘Jackass.’ Justin & I were really great roommates because we did everything together…and had the same friends. The only time we ever argued, was once when he marched up to the top floor (which was my floor) of our condo…utterly wasted and decided to throw a tantrum because I refused to have sex with him. Hahaha.

Long story short….Rob’s laughing and making fun of me didn’t end there…

He then proceeded to write and PERFORM  RAP, that he had dedicated to ME called..

‘I hit, but I quit, because I found a better girl.’

Hahaha

He performed it with such vigor and even beat boxed it at me. Lol. I mean WHO DOES THAT…EVER…

Hahahaha.

But it’s such a hilarious memory….Plus, we were both models at the time and often we would get interviewed and asked how we knew each other and if we had any stories to share…

And being perfectly PR’d…we’d both just smile…make up a lame story, say we used to work together and hug…

Hahahaha.

I must have delivered my story in one whole breath, because I paused, looked up and JD….who is utterly SAINTLY. I mean, he’s such a gentleman, a bit wet maybe, some would say? Yet, such a good human. He looks out for people, selflessly…

I looked at him and he had thrown his head back in absolute hysterics, laughing SO LOUD and so hard that he was crying! 🙂

It was almost as if, in that moment, I made this little saint of a friend…feel ALIVE…(fair enough, at the expense of my dignity Lol)…But what i’ll tell you, is that THAT is not only a gift, or a talent…Yet it is always why or how this little blog works….

Love ya,

Chrissie x

Ps, I’ve just got an Insta DM from one of my best LA guy friends Theo…and all it reads is..

‘I miss you.’

How sweet. 🙂

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

 

 

 

 

Life, Drinks & Mexican Blow Jobs

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

Happy Bank Holiday! Suns Out! Funs Out! Let’s get playing! (Can you tell i’m doing shit at this ‘staying in and not drinking when it’s sunny’ thing? But who cares? I had a chilled one yesterday and let’s face it, I’m hear to live with my full face on, not twiddle thumbs in a knitted cardy.) Its important that we stick to our strengths.

If you’re in LA! (And a lot of my closest friends are! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.) Hope you had an AMAZING ‘CINCO DE MAYO!’ Any excuse to enjoy a tipple, even if we do it in sombreros and celebrate the fact that I invented the ‘Mexican Blowjob.’ (You need to ‘back track’ blog for that information. But it’s totally flipping worth it.)

It’s basically, the art of giving someone a blow job…yet at the same time HUMMING the theme tune to the ‘Mexican Hat Dance.‘ And before you all get narky. I’m allowed to say this, because *many moons ago,* I had a Mexican Husband, and that’s when I decided to invent this treat…So THERE. I’m not a floozy. Just a great ‘at the time’ wife? Yay! Divorce!!!  Lol. (Good Save.)

If you’re weird and you don’t know the theme tune to the ‘Mexican Hat Dance‘ IS… Hit *Play* bitches now…  🙂 And yes…I did!

Okay, so i’ve been whining on about my love life for a bit now, and I do want you to know that it IS actually deliberate..and you’ll find out why shortly. However, our  Love lives, be you a girl or boy.. is such an important thing to us, isn’t it? Even if we play it down. I always find it strange when guys or even girls don’t have the time or ability to love. Maybe because i’m the opposite way. But I just couldn’t live a life with someone who was numb to emotion or FUN.

DON’T BE DULL. LIVE. BE FUN. HAVE A LAUGH. I MEAN I DON’T WHY PEOPLE TAKE THEMSELVES OR LIFE SO SERIOUSLY AT TIMES? RELAX. ENJOY IT. I’m someone who just KNOWS how to LIVE…and i’ll go to my grave happy because of it.

*Throws you a life line. Boomerangs you a chance*

Yesterday was super sunny, but I had a chill day kinda day, dedicated to family. I was in INSTA JAIL for the majority of the day and it was fine at first, until i got frustrated, sweaty and ran out of gin…then it wound me up. I’m going off gin. It doesn’t give me the gusto,t he spunk, the ‘Ooh laa’ that I need. Luckily, ‘Miss Murphy’ who I adore, (i’m starting to adore her madly,) sat with opposite me with a..

‘*Like* something and let me screenshot it.’

‘WHEN AM I OUT OF INSTA JAIL. Like i have shit to promote through the week!!’

‘ Miss. Murphy’ does PR for a living, in Leeds but our kids go to school together and what I adore about ‘The Murph’ is that I see her in snippets and when I do, I literally tell her everything, without her permission…sort of like she’s confession box. Whatever that is? 😉 My heart lights up when I see her, because I’ll either get to repent, or she’ll join in with the verbal Tom Foolery, without judgement.

Today, I want drinks and i’m certainly gonna get them. it’s me time. I’m choosing ‘The Carleton’ as my haunt…and well I’ll know everyone there, so I’ll only need to rock up with a smile and bump into EVERYONE. I’m sorted!

Life is great. It’s almost like i’m trying to pretend that.. NOT MUCH is going on, when A LOT of really serious stuff is occurring. I don’t know why i’m doing that?  Maybe i’m worried and I don’t like you to know that? Or maybe I just can’t believe my luck..and i’m absorbing it quietly? Or Maybe I just want you to think life can be easy? I dunno? Yet, it seems to be working. Haha.  So ‘whatevers.’ You’ll hear about it soon, so don’t worry. I’m really excited and like I always say, I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

THINGS ARE CHANGING. NEW PEOPLE ARE SHIMMINING IN..New opportunities are occurring…

(Hahaha. I can’t at all concentrate because ‘The Mexican Hat Dance’ song keeps playing on my laptop and I can’t turn it off. How do I make it stop? It’s putting me off!! Lol Plus, that Husband once through me across a restaurant by accident in LA..so he didn’t even deserve my treat. Don’t get all stressed. He picked me up when drunk and attempted a baby fling…but I FLEW ACROSS TABLES, because I’m light like that? 😉 I was in a tshirt that read ‘I break hearts on a daily basis’ I was 20 something, crying lol and then some other dude called ‘Mickey,’ who has now passed away, tried to comfort me in a strip club. Hahaha.) 

I’m really missing my girl bestie ‘Firmonnell’ right now. You need a good chick team, don’t you and she’s certainly one of THE BEST girls I know. In a world where you live your life publicly online, there’s actually always secrets and well… she certainly knows all mine. She’s the only person I tell EVERYTHING TO, honestly, without censor.

Me: ‘I don’t even know why he didn’t  evenlove me?’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s been done for a long time. It was good FOR the TIME…THAT time…but just move forward. He’s so dull.’

I kinda felt free…

The reason why I love a bit of ‘Firmonnell’ (who needs a better blog name) is because when I don’t tell her the truth, she sees right through me…Yet, she doesn’t make me feel bad for it. Lol.  I messaged her the other day, because I was feeling ‘needy af.’ I just needed advice…this is what she said…

Firmonnell: ‘Find someone who takes your breath away, who can look after you, who makes you laugh, who makes you shine and doesn’t hold you back.’

And from different sides of the city….that’s all I needed to hear. Two chicks, from two different walks of life, threw each other a life line, because they saw the world through the same eyes…

I’d love someone to take my breath away, yet I want them to be bantery and fun, at the same time. I love a ‘handsome’ cheeky chappy. One that can make fun of you, but love you madly. Lol. But to be honestly, i’m pretty happy, because I don’t have to really look…they’ll step forward. It’s what men do.

Anyway, i’m off for breakfast with my daughter, before I drop her off at her daddies…and tinkle down to a beer garden for Bank Holiday. I’m like it’s 9.17am? Is the pub open yet? Hahah.

But enjoy it. Do, DO LIVE!!

It’s Summer right! If you follow this blog religiously, you’ll know that I usually regard Summer time, as a season where people just ‘fling.’ They never seem to fall in love…they ‘crush’ and ‘fling’…as Winter is when the ‘coupling up’ happens., people are more lonely during that time and Christmas kinda fills hearts with merriment and all that jazz. Lol

This Summer is different, because this Summer i’ve grown into a woman. So as you’re drinking out of coconuts (because honestly how many more people can I see on my newsfeed, drinking out of coconuts this year. Last year it was the ‘flamingo/unicorn inflatable..’ Lol) I’m gonna find me some REAL FUN, that fun that LASTS a lifetime…

Chrissie x

Thank you for following my life…

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spring Cleans, Hollywood & Really Dodgy Fetish Parties ;)

I’m feeling all boated and knackered today, but i’ve got in the bag. My ‘Va Vooms’ on fire and because I feel like the busiest bee in all of the beautiful land…(Bee’s never look that busy to me, they just look like they try and SOUND busy, yet really they just fly around stinging people, whilst being stripey…) However, yes…I am busy with ‘the niggly bits’ the bits I despise. The bits where it comes in really handy, if OTHER PEOPLE do them for you. 🙂

*PLEASE HELP! HELP AWAY!*

And because I hate all things ‘niggly’ and it’s not wine o clock yet….I stayed really focused and distracted myself 🙂 by not concentrating, Googling bikinis and instead cleaned three rooms of my home from top to bottom, listening to ‘Little Mix’ in pyjama bottoms and a bra, and making work calls.

If I ever decide to clean my home that intensely from top to bottom…You know that I must be trying to bury my head in the glittery sand. I once threw out a pan and bought a new one simply because I couldn’t be arsed to clean it. 🙂

It’s like the most boring distraction in the world ever. It’s lame. Don’t do it. Sleeping with Greek men in togas is a good distratcion…Seeing what Michelle Keegan looks like in a bikini is a distraction…Cocktails…Friends, Banter….ANYTHING.

However, Scrubbing and hoovering is NOT! It’s shit. I only did it to burn extra ‘cos i’m bloated’ calories. But now i feel like I need 20 wines…

I have a really busy next 2 weeks…maybe 3 weeks…It’s jammed and at the same time i’m armed with The Wunna Babies. (Ruby squeezed all my Johnsons Baby Lotion of the pink bottle and and filled it up with water. That was fun. That was great! What a beautiful child. Didn’t at all make me want to RIP MY **&&*&*$$£”””” hair out. 🙂

Like the time when my LA guy roommate kept trying my clothes on in secret, when I was younger. I’d lay them all out, ready for a night on the razzle. I’d come back, after skipping off to buy wine, to find them inside out, worn…and smelling of sweaty boy. Lol. But much better than the time, I walked back in after late night Hollywood drinks…and found 7 grown up males, in pretend NAPPIES/DIAPERS, drinking beer and dancing in the living room….

I walked in with my best friend, who’s now a really successful film producer..(Good switch from ‘Party Boy’) and all I could hear was them panicking and shouting…

‘FUCK!!! DUDE!!!!! SHE’S FUCKING BACK ALREADY! DON’T LET HER GO UPSTAIRS.’

But me being Me…It weirdly didn’t bother me. Lol. I found it really funny..Plus, nothing is WORSE than having a secret fetish party and having a human, (who’s not part of the fun) *surprise* walk in…Let alone ‘surprise walk in’ and ALSO make you feel SHITTY… (Yet they were in diapers? Lol. I’m ridiculously laid back , when it comes to ‘taboo’ behaviour. I’ve seen so much…that that wasn’t anything really.

Me: ‘My feet hurt, are there anymore drinks…Why are you pretending to be an octopus? I’m going upstairs…’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘That’s Chrissie W’…’

Roomie: ‘Wunna…Yeah. She’s my roommate.’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘AW! FUCKSAKE DUDE!!!’

Roomie: ‘Don’t let her go upstairs! Oh! Hi, Matt!”

(That was my bestie.)

‘Chrissie, you’ve got some mail and that dude you went on a date with…that weird Bodyguard one…dropped your stuff back… Like a belt?’

Me: ‘Does it say *DIRT* on it? Is it that diamante one? He hasn’t even fixed the *Y* on it, has it…What an idiot. I hate dates… I’m just not gonna speak to him..’

And this was all when i was in my mid 20’s, and whilst my roommate was in a pretend diaper…and he was a lawyer. 🙂

HAHAHA. (Sorry, I’m just pissing myself….. My friend Matt & I did so much better for ourselves…Lol)

Upstairs was awful. Lol. Even I was shocked. I’ve told the story before and it IS embedded in this website…

But yeah…Lol…What I was actually going to say, is that now i’ve told the story…I noticed that the whole random fetish party didn’t bother me at all, yet the guy who decided to try on my clothes, whilst I was out, behind my back, BEFORE I HAD EVEN WORN THEM……

PISSED ME OFF.

So, it must be the little things that wind me up.

But anyway, thank you everyone for reading my blog! I’ve received so many inbox messages from literally all over the world, from ladies, men, girls, guys and saying that they’re loving it, hooked or have just had a first time ‘peek.’

Like ‘Trigg’ had a first time peek yesterday, because he couldn’t follow quite obvious instructions. Lol.

Trigg: ‘I didn’t know I could swipe up?’

Me: ‘What? Even though it says SWIPE UP??’

And a guy from Vienna messaged me this morning saying that he read yesterdays blog and loved it and that HE actually used to work right by me in LA, by The Grove. He has this wonderful Youtube channel about his travels, so I’m gonna check that out today.

Plus, I love that all Ladies, love a ‘school mums’ blog. Unfortunately, I went with diaper ridden fetish party today…But hey…It’s all about balance, right? 😉

I had a moment yesterday, where I stopped a second after being rushed out of a meeting and into a car, where I *paused* and got to chill for a moment….

I sent this message…

‘Missing ya.’

They replied with a..

‘Miss u to xx’

Then life scuttled us along…..

I’ve got lots going on, shoots, influencey things, I’ve got to fit in the time to commit to filming, flights to Spain, meetings, Motherhood…and my friends….

In this Chapter, my newest one…I am being a really shit friend. I went from having all the time in the world, to having no time…Or having to prioritse my time. Plus, I have ‘powers above’ who make me hinder to sacrifices. But I just have to do it. It’s work and i’m building…

But this weekend, it’s my chick friend ‘Fairytales’ birthday drinks…So I’ll be celebrating it with her at The Electric Theatre….

I actually almost forgot, because I had fittings and flights and all sorts of busy mayhem…But Mel reminded me on Monday….I love ‘People Reminders.’ And just like that…I’ll be there!

The Career’s going really well. I’m feeling really confident right now…

I’m gonna SMASH IT.

Cue: FIRE

What’s Sexy To Me……..

Tuesday feels great! I’m filled with excitement and gusto. It’s so different to yesterday and I thank the good ‘jollies’ for it! I have a black coffee by my side, to protect me from evil and an updo bobbled in tight, to hold any form of dignity, that I may possibly left, firmly in place.

These 37 years have been colourful. WONDERFUL, but boy have they been colourful. YET, let’s face it, if you don’t have a lifetime memory bank, filled with fun, trials, tribulations and well… mainly debauchery, than what do you have? 🙂 (Sense probably. Lol)

I KNOW, that when I’m 80 years old, withering away in some old people’s home because everyone’s forgotten to love me…with my rummy cocktail, still probably posting on instagram, because I’ll mistakenly believe i’ve still ‘goddit‘…..I KNOW, that my ‘when I was young…’tales will be OUTSTANDING. 

The older I get the more open my tales will become on this blog, waaaay before i’m 80 and simply because I’ll careless about being inappropriate. 🙂

I’m currently sat in on someone’s shoot, a chick friend of mine, I’m gonna call her ‘Daisy.’

Daisy: ‘Don’t call me Daisy. It makes me sound like a cow.’

Me: ‘Yeah, you’re right. You’re more of a bitch…Lol. Shall I go with *Tinker* because you’re a nuisance…?’

Daisy: ‘Yeah, I love that!!’

I went with Daisy. My blog. My rules. 🙂

Anyway, I have meetings for the entire rest of the day and a Skype audition later, yet I said, I’d come sit in on her shoot, as it’s her first ever, ‘boudoir’ shoot…and she feels all nervous. (It’s basically just a ‘Glamour Shoot’ where she has to lay around and pout in her undies.) She wants me to tell everyone that she’s ‘not trying to be a model’…but SHE IS, trying to be a model. Lol. (There’s nothing wrong with ‘trying to be a model.’) 

Me: Did you even practice?’

Daisy: ‘No…’

Me: ‘Well, that’s a good start. As if you’ve come, booked in and not even practiced!!! It’s like you haven’t trained for your game, or revised for your exam.’

Daisy: ‘Do you practice…’

Me: YES! ALL THE TIME!!

She’s currently stood in a studio in Leeds and warm because i’ve made them turn the heating on full blast. (Mainly because I don’t wanna sit in the cold and everyones shit at shooting in the cold.) She’s in knickers, heels and a dressing gown, looking like she’s lost her way to the Post Office, or something? Lol

Daisy: ‘Why are you laughing??? Can you stop taking the piss out of me! And can you stop typing everything that I’m saying to you. You’re meant to be helping me!!’

Me: ‘I am! I’m lightening you up! You’re like a plank of wood. You need to relax more, wiggle into it a bit. You look as though, you FEEL about as sexy as that door knob.’

Daisy: ‘Door knob. Cheers. Lol’

Me: No. Lol. Like, if you look at that door knob, it’s all stiff and dull. Take three screws out of it and let it dangle off the door, on one screw…. and swing it. It’s now sexy.’

Daisy: Shut the F*** up Wunna! This is like some kind of Mr Miyagi training. I don’t do this every morning after the school run, like you! Have you called me Tinker?’

Me: ‘Yes…’ 😉

Anyway, so whilst they’re setting up, I’m blogging and it’s annoying because i’m sat by a really sunny window and I can’t exactly see my screen very well…It’s cool, it’s like typing blind and hoping for the best! Kinda like, how my real life pans out…

But I say it all the time. From my experience….a glamour shoot, a boudior shoot, isn’t about what you’re wearing or what you’re not wearing.

Wahey!!

It’s about FEELING SEXY IN IT, FEELING FULFILLED & FEELING ALL WOMANLY. You can plonk anyone in a pair of heels, stockings and pants and if they don’t feel secure, fluid, sexy or happy….you can tell. They look like an awkward cardboard cut out, that’s about to get run over, by a slow moving, oncoming tractor and they don’t know what to do?

Me: ‘Yo! Don’t try and *be a model*…Try and be YOU in the shots. What makes YOU sexy. You’re doing a weird model face.’

Daisy: ‘It’s my DEAD EYES. I haven’t got my specs on. It feels all blurry.’

Me: ‘Hahahahah! Good! Like you’re drunk! Now you CAN’T see what’s around you, so you can go for it… Glamour into the blur. LOL.’

Daisy: ‘I hope you get on a show soon, where you’re trapped for weeks and everyone has a proper go at you. Lol. I’ll laugh and just shout *glamour into the blur, bitch.*

I’ve just turned some music on, because I don’t know how anyone can shoot well without tunes on. (Do notice, how i’m simply altering her surroundings to suit ME. Haha.) Gets you in the mood, doesn’t it!

(I’ve put this on… So SEE! I AM TRYING TO HELP.)

This is the hardest blog to write ever, because I keep having to get up, run off, do stuff and run back, simply to type a paragraph. (She’s now moaning because i’ve been offered a drink and she hasn’t.)

Daisy: Aw! Yeah! Offer Chrissie Wunna  a drink, but not me.’

She’s shooting now, so i’m not gonna disturb her.

But anyway, I’ve been getting a load of messages from people who are shocked that i’m Northern, that i’m Yorkshire. I am.

Definitely born ‘Yorkshire’ have two Burmese parents, travelled over to LA and sounded American for years, (but I had to learn to do that because no one could understand what I was saying and when I was on tv show auditions, they didn’t want me to have a British accent…I even had to go see a dialect coach, to change my accent.) Then I landed back in the UK, did the ‘living in London,’ thing for work, where my accent turned all posh for a bit… and now i’m back in Yorkshire…So, basically my accents all muddled! How would I describe it..?

It’s like having a pub lunch, in a Chinese restaurant, as hip hop music plays in the background and you’re on the phone to The Queen.

Long story short…I am from Yorkshire.

Right, I’ve got a lot to do today and I need to go help her on her shoot. It’s my daughters 7th birthday at the weekend and she’s wanting a trip to ‘Sundown Adventure Land’ this Saturday.

My friend Nick, is on ‘The Best Boys’ of ‘Take Me Out, this Saturday, after causing a Take Me Out **hoo haa,** the last time he was on the show! I’m excited to watch him and I really want him to have this amazing career in telly, because he deserves it.

I’m still bubbling with excitement to shoot my CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM advert and t pick up a new whip!

Thank you for all the love on my ‘socials.’

I certainly need more coffee.

Quote of the day! One that I spied last night!

‘NEVER CONFUSE WHAT YOU’RE OFFERED WITH WHAT YOU’RE WORTH!’

Lots of love,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overnight Success, Carbs & Dwarves

Image may contain: 1 person, standing and outdoor

Two little, happy twin dwarf men, have been popping into my dreams for the past 3 nights in a row! (Don’t even ask. My mind is beyond any form of normality.)  They’re just happy as can be, chilling in my dream land….these two twin dwarves.

It worried me and made me eat a ton of carbs for safety. I stuffed everything into the most ‘macca’ sandwich you could imagine, that was filled with everything in the foodie world, that could possibly make the ‘Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…’ list.

You would’ve burst into a euphoric sense of ‘NOM NOM.’ I even stopped being ‘Veggie’ for it. 🙂 Or maybe that was the time I had pork scratchings?

On the whole, I’m having a lovely time. I’ve worked a great deal and been quite the ‘social’ queen, that I took the last couple days off away from picture taking and all the rest of the work…just to enjoy some family time with Ruby & Junior. I really cherish that and I used to blog & post about them, a lot more than I do now.

Not because ‘I don’t care’ and only care about ‘selfie taking..’ yet because that part of my life is so special to me…I keep it just for me, because it’s real. I treasure it. There’s a lot of things, that I keep just for me, now.

But back to the Twinny Dwarf Men. (Sounds like kinky a fetish.)

I eventually came to my senses and Googled the SHIT out of what this could possibly mean...??? (My Google History is the MOST BIZARRE sighting!)

Luckily, the omen is good. It apparently means that i’m quite possibly charmed, that i’ll rise to the top in life and be swirled with hood health…(hood health? Lol) I mean, GOOD HEALTH…. and jolly finances in the future? (Your health is actually your life currency. I always forget to be good to myself.)

HELLOOOO ALL THE COCKTAILS!

Right, so I’ve got lots going on and Wunna Land is slowly, but surely slipping on its sexy pants, attaching rockets to the frilly bits…and getting ready to..

*WHOOSH WHOOSH DADDIO*

I’ve always taken chances. Far less impulsively as a grown up. As a 20 something in Hollywood, I was an IMPULSE NIGHTMARE…I learnt a lot of lessons fast and KARMA WAS AN ABSOLUTE TOTAL BITCH. 🙂 It made a decent 30 something year old. I’ll tells ya! And if you can’t be a decent ‘30 something,’ then you’re in BIG TROUBLE. I get that we all learn things at different speeds…But it’s much better to be wiser at 30 something, than to not.

Only DO WHAT YOU LOVE. Only do what you want. Be with someone who adores you. Who you adore. Respect them. Work hard. Take chances. Dreams come true all the time. Every moment of ever day, dreams have come true in my life…consecutively, throughout my whole entire existence.

Literally everything I dreamt of as a little one, in Yorkshire…came true and because I wasn’t afraid to give it a go. Win or lose. I was fearless. As a 13 year old girl, I told my mum and my friends, that I was going to MOVE to Hollywood, be a model and an actor….and marry a movie star. (Lol. That bit’s ‘cringe.’)

By the age of 21, I was there, in West Hollywood, at a ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ audition, I had got scouted at a coffee shop by a modelling agent… and an actor had got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. (We’re definitely divorced now, because we certainly weren’t right for each other.) BUT the point is, I did it. It happened. And I knew it would. I knew how that chapter of my life would happen, years before it did. I said it all the time, as a teen…and yeah lots of my teen friends, used to make fun of me for it…

But I did it… 😉

Everyone always sees the success part! I say that a lot, don’t I.

But, I haven’t had it easy. GOD! I didn’t even have it easy until the end of last year. I’VE WORKED my kitten arse off…DAY AND NIGHT... and as a single mum of two…

I juggled EVERYTHING, in order to try and make things happen. I worked lots. I got home, looked after the babies, I blogged. I’d end up having to stay up late, to wait until Ruby & Junior were asleep. THEN wake up at 4.30am, to send out work emails, and hit the different time zones and whilst trying to negotiate ‘collabo’ deals…

At six o clock in the morning… my alarm would go off. I’d get ready for the day and wake the babies up, to do the school run, before smashing a REALLY BUSY work day and maybe even having to finish up late, jump on a train, work in a different city, sleep a little, and check out of a hotel at five o clock in the morning. (As my Mum looked after them.)

This is after having to wake up at  4am, just to get ready….I’d arrive back home at around 7.30am..Do the school run and start the work process over again. 🙂

SO…IT HASN’T BEEN EASY!

But…I DID IT!

NOW! LIFE IS EASY! 🙂

So, yeah..I WILL HAVE a cocktail or FOUR, thank you very much. I’ll celebrate my life and inspire folk along the way.

Every single person who IS a success, has worked SO SO hard. They took risks. They didn’t settle for the life… they never wanted to lead. Yeah, they did what they had to, but their focus was always WHAT THEY LOVED. They made sacrifices. Even through the struggly bits, they believed in themselves. Even when they thought they didn’t…DEEP DOWN, they did.

And it started for me as a kid… I was at dancing school, after normal school…Then acting class, this class, that stage show, an audition here, an audition there…It started when I was five years old, after I BEGGED my little Burmese doctor parents to send me off to perform ANYWHERE, because I was definitely doing their heads in.

I loved it.  I lived for it.

DREAM BIG, WORK HARD. COMMIT TO IT.

(It’s the same when it comes to love.)

It’s weird, because I feel like, there are tons of people who DREAM of having a certain life…They want to LIVE that life….YET AREN’T WILLING TO PUT IN THE WORK, or take the chances? They try and short cut their way to it. (Yet, If you take a ‘short cut,’ you kinda get ‘cut short.’)

And then you have the people who grumble and ‘hate’ on the people who are doing, or have done well. *YAWN.* Things like that, never bother me, because i’m pretty confident and emotionally grown. I’ve been through everything and back again, in stilettos and with a wink.

But I know, that a lot of people find it difficult…So listen up…

When someone hates on you, it’s NEVER about YOU and ALWAYS ABOUT THEM. They’re really transparent & very usually a keyboard warrior.’ So, if you’re getting hated on along the way, don’t let it bother you. Keep doing what you love. I’ve NEVER seen a hater, have a better life, than the person they are actually having a go’ at. And I’m saying this because I watched a really talented human get ‘hated on’ socially by his friends, simply because he went to an audition to be on a TV show. I hope that really talented human, becomes a really big success, one day.

It’s about taking chances without fear…and definitely having the ability to not absorb any negativity thrown at you and instead learning to use it as motivation.

(Why am I sounding like a Self Help book today??? Must be the carbs.)

I mean, on my ‘socials’ these days, I’m receiving a lot of ‘love’ from people and then once in a while, someone will pop into Wunna Land with their knickers all a twist, OR they’ll just be wanting to have a go at ‘trolling’… for attention.

I mean, a few weeks ago someone sent me a DM simply saying,

‘Nob..’

I’ll give’em that. Lol.

Then I recieved another one reading, …

‘You moronic fuck face.’

Yet straight afterward, they deleted their entire profile. Meaning, the last DM they wanted to send was TO ME…and they needed it to say the ABOVE. 🙂

Hahaha…

It’s just life…How it is. Then two minutes later, my inbox and comment feed with filled with love.

Simples.

Laugh it off. Get on with your story…Be a success.

I always reckon, it’s the ones that have chosen to do something out of true LOVE and passion…dipped in determination, be it loud or quiet, that get the best results.The ones that have put in the years of time, years of effort and have steadily grown their own world of ‘clout’…that make it and LAST.

They didn’t take the short cut…they carved their own looooooooooong, steeeeeady path and walked it, ALL THE FLIPPING WAY…with a wine.

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, tree, plant, outdoor and nature

Happy Weekend!

Chrissie.

PS/ Pardon my preachiness.

PPS/ I need to go on a diet. Someone help me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hear Me Now………

Let’s have some fun now, hey!

We’ve all worked really hard all year. We’ve made sacrifices. We’ve sweated blood, tinkered tears and danced out a few melodramatic tantrums. Things have gone right. Things have gone wrong. We’ve won. We’ve lost. We’ve learnt. We’ve all probably flirted a little. Fallen in love. Fallen in lust. Or even fallen straight down that jolly old plug hole.

*WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

We’ve made up. We’ve brayed up. We’ve found some new strangers, who have probably become really great friends. We got tans through the Summer. Tried to take up new hobbies. We’ve ALL been on a diet, at some point. We’ve earned a bunch of money. We’ve spent it all on rubbish. J Some dipped into their past. Some are looking forward to the future. Some put our stepping stones in place, to march boldy into 2018.

We’re in November of 2017. It’s been a great one for me so far (and yes it’s still going,) but it’s been a tough one. Not just for me, but for everyone. You’ve either made changes, or committed to non glitzy ruts.

Let’s have some fun now, hey!

I’m bored of being anxious. I’m bored of being stressed. I feel BOUJI AS HELL, right now. I feel like the world is my oyster. It all feels so glitzy, that I could even *wink* it as ‘magical.’ I am the luckiest girl in town.

For the rest of 2017, and we only have a few weeks, i’m just gonna commit to art of ‘good times.’ I’ve made all my appropriate changes now (I still have one left,) to guide me merrily into the New Year. I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m excited. I have a new chapter a dawning in January. I’m just gonna fling on a jumper, slip on a pair of knee high boots, whop out a smile and with giant Skinny Prosecco in my hand, I’m gonna celebrate life and the 11 months that 2017 has brought me so far.

I’ve worked my arse off this year. No one can take that away from me. But, without balance, you’ve have nothing. The most successful humans have everything. Not just riches. Not just love. They have everything. They’ve stayed true to what they’ve always wished for and they got it. They’re HAPPY. They have their dream job and make money from it, handsomely. They’ve found their ideal partner, who loves them whole heartedly without condition. They have fun. Lots of it! They’re raising a family. They do everything and manage it ALL, SO WELL, that it’s actually MORE than BLISS. It’s EASY. They wake up every morning and feel ALIVE.

 That is SUCCESS to ME.

Anyway, let me cut the jigglies…

Wait…i’ve just got a Whatsapp Message from ‘London Business Man.’ He’s in Hong Kong. I think he’s been doing something crazy like five flights in four days. It’s great because we’re really good friends now and you would’ve never thought that because obviously I had ‘London Business Man’ drama a couple of years ago. We were never together. But at the time, years ago… I did want to be. He didn’t. He just fancied me, had just got out of a relationship and wasn’t looking for anything serious.

Long story short…my life changed. I left him to it and I stopped speaking to him. We fell out. He dated someone else. They broke up. I fell for a completely new ‘swirl’ who had me head over heels, in excitement…for most of this year. That swirl calmed down… I don’t like that it ‘calmed down.’ I like the guy a lot. But what can you do? Just it’s life….

Why have I gone on such a massive rant…?

Basically…’London Business Man’ says he misses me.

Firmonnell (My best chick friend): ‘You need to not bother…He just likes the chase..and it’s not like you’re actually going to chose to be with him now.’

I have a busy next year and I think on the whole, he maybe wouldn’t understand my work commitments.

Inadequate Chris: ‘That’s why people in entertainment, usually date people in entertainment.’

Yet i’m not one to judge. I sometimes ACT needy, because i think it’s how i should act, but in real life, i’m quite the independent chica. Don’t get it twisted. I’m tough as bricks.

So yeah, I actually don’t know him romantically. He’s just a good friend. But i’ll definitely do cocktails with him next time i’m in London. The rest of the year’s about fun right. I have a lot to fit in. I mean my BEST LA Baby Brother, Ronnie is flying in from LA to see me in December. (It’s so cute, because when we were young we’d play ‘doing photoshoots’ and tell each other everything. We both ended up being real life models. I got on the telly. I started this blog. He ended up leaving the catwalk to become a Celebrity Chef in LA, and have his own show.

To this day…we are still the best of friends and all from us working part time, in a gym together, when he was 19, in West Hollywood. We have so many memories. But I’ll tell you about them when he arrives.

(I’m currently trying to find my Lypsal, as my lips are dry as hell! Are yours?)

Anyway, I’m currently writing this whilst sat on my bed in a faux fur. I’ve completed the school run with Ruby and Junior. I didn’t have an early start. I’m off to find coffee and because this afternoon, I’ll be at Trinity Leeds, with Candy Mechanics. They’re gonna turn me into a chocolate lollipop today for their live launch, as their super robotic, modernised candy making stall, opens up in Leeds, in a couple weeks for Christmas. If you’ve been at events…You may have found their novelty stands, as entertainment and gift favours. If not….you can order online and be turned into chocolate yourself. I’m so excited. I really honoured that they wanted me to go down and take a peeky. The kids were mean to go, but they’re in school today, so I promised to take them down when the Pop UP officially opens.

Love you lots.

I need coffee…

Cue: Random Tune that I ADORE

 

Have a great FRIDAY!!!

 

Banter, Geordies & Life Skills

I’ve had a snotty nose all day and nothing is more unattractive on adults than a snotty nose right? It’s ran all day and i’ve had to have tissues at the ready to hold onto some form, any form of glamour pussiness. I don’t like runny noses…they’re not very Gucci. 🙂

I’m still working hard and i’m sorry that I haven’t managed to blog as much as usual. Yet when there’s a lifestyle blog, there’s a life…and sometimes you’ve just got to live it. I’m a writer and I love it more than anything. I’m creative. But when I have a snotty nose…shit goes down. I was sassy. It put me in a mood and mainly because it kept rubbing off my foundation…

‘I’ve forgotten my bronzer brush and I keep blowing my nose! I can’t have an exotic face and a white persons nose.’

I did lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ today as we looked over the town from a giant glass window with a salad. During that time, after she had bought herself an emergency dress for the York races, she was so happy that she contemplated throwing herself off a giant building. Lol.

‘This isn’t life. It’s shit. I’m sat here with you, doing lunch. I’m looking out the window and nothing out the window that we can see is beautiful or exciting. LOOK! It’s all shit! I mean God, you’re losing your touch! You don’t even get those creepy videos from that creepy guy with the tiny penis anymore! I feel like I should just throw myself off that tower…Hahaha.

However, because she’s so hot, if she did, some kind of weird Prosecco angels would fly by gracefully and cradle her fall, whilst turning it into some beautiful soft landing, that ended in rose petaled bedding.When you’re hot that happens. It does. Even in an bouji invisible brace.

Right now, I’m all about living life and loving it. I’m sick of people spending time on the things they don’t love. You should all be working jobs that you were made for and adore. I’m also sick of folk refusing to express how they feel about the things or people they do love. There’s nothing wrong with that, so be terrified of it. If I care about someone, regardless as to how they may feel about me, I make sure I tell them that I care about them almost every day. You’re a long time dead and anything can happen. So…it makes me feel good to let the people I appreciate know that I do. You should do that to. It’s good for the soul…like rum.

A thing that’s made me smile today..is my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s travelled to London with her hubby ‘Big D’ today and they’re celebrating their Anniversary. She’s 30 now…or thirty something i can’t remember? They’ve been together since she was 19! I know!!! And to this day, after all that time, they’re still happily married, now with two babies, love, a to die for friendship and they still even have sex regularly! It’s a dream! Big D ‘gushed’ about how wonderful she was today and that made me beam. I love it when guys can openly declare how wonderful their wife is! It’s so sexy!

Y’know, it’s weird as Firmonnell and I have the exact same sense of evil humour. We are absolute BANTER! However, we’ve walked such different lives. And in a way, even though i’ve done the whole everything I ‘Hollywood’ wished for in work and ‘modelled’ my way through life with telly stints, glamour ‘do daa’s’, celebrity this and and excitement…part of me wishes that at the same time, I managed to hold onto to love. I’m thirty six and haven’t managed to stay in love since being 19. I’ve been married three times. (Firmonnell liked my first husband and decided to LAUGH AT ME for the divorce because I was foolish. Hahah! What a cow! Lol.)

LET ME TELL YOU.

Don’t fret, if you’re in my glitzy position. Lol

Love comes to people at different times and i’m not talking the average kind of love. I’m talking that LOVE that people have written about over centuries. That true love that whisks you off your feet. That guy who is your ‘hero.’ That girl who makes you feel like the greatest man alive. It comes to you when it’s meant to. So for Firmonnell she was lucky because when she turned 19, he found her, he loved her and they did ‘happily ever after.’

My life’s been a bit different and mainly because of my choice in career, i’d say. Then my stint in Hollywood. Then my telly bits….It kinda made finding true love, somewhat more difficult. Not just because people saw me differently. Yet because my view or standards on what I wished for in a dream man were also raised. Infact there were times in my 20’s when i didn’t even know what I wanted, or had too many options or just felt lost and instead committed to work. But not now. I know what I want. I may have got what I want.

But yes, how lucky is Firmonnell. I’d like to have an anniversary, where my hubby declares how wonderful I am. And at the same time, years down the line, she adores him just as madly. That’s sexy.

Not much else has happened today other than a surprise visit from one of my new Geordie mates ‘Potter.’ He made a random appearance in Wunna land. Infact, after Lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ I found myself walking out of one door and walking through to the other side where I was immersed in a group of Geordie boys, all banter, all fun, all down to earth, all in suits and all talking football….with chicken. I’m northern, so I love a Geordie. When I was a teen, an American boy or a Geordie boy was my favourite type of crush. We all chatted shit for a good fifteen minutes in the name of banter. What i noticed about the boys is that they’re scrappy, but they’re loyal. They are passionate about the things that they care about. Banter was fun. They got a bit heated.

I’m Yorkshire and we’re chilled…we live our life by the leave it and ‘It’ll be right‘ phrase. We don’t really get too bothered about things, we just have cups of tea or 40 wines, whilst letting the world take a turn or having a ‘sleep on it.’

Saying that, i do know some properly mental Yorkshire folk who need therapy, so I take that back. I’M JUST CHILLED. I swear it’s the rest of you lot that are loopy! 😉 I’m perfect.

Right, i’m going now. I an hear singing in the house and I don’t know who or where it’s coming from which is alarming?

Love you,

Thank you for reading my blog.

Chrissie

 

 

 

Today I’m talking Love…

It’s Summer right! Let’s have some fun now. We’ve sat in rain. We’ve worked hard all year. We’ve hustled. We’ve loved, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried. Some of us have fallen in love. Some of us and have had our merry hearts broken. Some of us have made our dreams come true and some of us just forgot to try.

Clean slate it!

People get so stressed out about shit that doesn’t matter. Don’t get stressed out about shit that doesn’t matter. One life to live, with nothing to lose. LIVE IT. I’m watching the whinners have a moan about life and the winners just get on with it. Wunna Land is a ‘no sulking’ zone. So if you’re feeling down…cheer up. If you’ve fallen down…get back up. If you’ve got a bikini, throw it on. If your Prosecco glass is empty.. pour a fresh bubbly one, as see it as half full.

The sun’s out now! Let’s have some fun! Fuck it! It’s Sunday!

So far, i’ve actually had a chilled one. I’ve worked hard all week and darted here there and everywhere. My first day into my days off, are always about family time and chill. It’s like the big old recoup after a jolly, but tough game. Plus, I treasure the time that I have with Ruby and Junior, as there’s just me (yes, I have a lot of help, that I appreciate greatly.) But I have to work quite madly in order to provide and ‘Boss it’ for them. (I haven’t been lucky enough in love to hold onto a proper ‘this is mummy…this is daddy…and we’re together forever’ lifestyle…YET. What? I’m hopeful. 🙂 ) Secondly…I have to share them with their Daddies (who I get along with quite wonderfully) and that alone is healthy for them, because they’re immersed in love continuously…However it makes me treasure my time with them. I love being a Mum.

We shopped, we sang, we danced, we face painted, we kicked balls in parks, we had mini manicures, we did family Wunna Lunch at Ego in Ackworth and I winked it all off with cocktails, an ‘at home’ dance off and then treated myself to an early night.

Ponte Races happened! Thousands of people went. I definitely didn’t, as it looked far too busy. But, some drunk chick with crimped hair got so blasted and used MEL’S HEAD to regain her wibbly balance. Hahahaha! When that text came in, I almost DIED. If you know Mel…YOU DO NOT EVER USE HER HEAD to find your balance. You don’t ever use her ANYTHING, without her consent, to find any form of anything! Hahaha! Especially if you chosen to crimp it up. Don’t crimp. It’s bad for you. It makes you look more drunk.

Double B has started going to the gym. I’m shocked, as she doesn’t look gymmy, but she is. I’m noticing that she’s water drinking, fruit eating and now signing up to gym memberships? It’s confusing me? I liked it better when she refused to eat potatoes unless they came in ‘smiley face’ form, or ham, unless it was served with a Billy Bear face on it.

Firmonnell is BACK and thank the fucking LORD. How dare she dash off to Tenerife with her family and leave me to my own lonely devices with no evil text banter to fill my much needed void. I’m so losery, that I even messaged her when I knew that she was on plane and couldn’t text back. But she’s BACK…and YES, I FINALLY FILLED A VOID.

Not sure what’s happening right now, but my inbox is filling up with men? They’re all tapping at my messenger waiting for some kind of response? I’m not good at responding, i know….but it’s because I don’t like lots of pressure from people that I don’t think really know me. It makes me run away, (yipppppeee) as I always believe that they have judged me on a picture and have an incorrect idea of what i’m actually like.

I’m quite traditional when it comes to love..and I have a one track mind. So if i fancy someone, I only really focus of them…that’s something that half of my inbox would never really guess? My persona is flirty, but my soul is loyal. (A bit deep for a Sunday. Lol) So Yes, I did once say that I prefer men to be forward but….

Well..to be honest I have to….

Whatever….Lol I am utterly flattered. So thank you. The lovely messages (and I do read them all, even though I don’t manage to reply) made me smile.

*Runs away and hides.*

Lots of people always ask me about my love life…and well I’m not an easy person to date and I reckon that I match well with other ‘not so easy to date’ people. In entertainment or any career where in which you need to both focus and promote yourself, work hard, be away, or hustle…it’s more difficult to find love. You have to rely on the loving stable other, to just ‘get it’ and understand…..it’s never easy. You yearn for something or someone to ‘get it‘ or for your relationship to just run easily. So when you have it, you grab in both hands and try to hold onto it forever. You treasure it. MADLY.

In LA, it’s really easy, because everyone’s doing the same thing. Everyone’s career focused. That comes first. They achieve everything imaginable and make all their dreams come true. THEN they do love, build a family and do the rest of it….properly. No one is living a normal life over there. Love is unconventional. But everyone gets how it is.

In England, it’s not as simple as that for successful men or ‘boss it’ kinda girls. It’s harder and it’s not a bad thing, as people are more ‘togethery’ in Blighty. They do forever. They love hard. They meet when they’re teens and stay together through eternity. They know what they want and it’s lovely….and i’m understanding it more and more, as days go by…in Hollywood…none of that existed when I was a 20 something. But I don’t dislike that. I loved my time in LA. I love who I am and what I stand for and I love that I never ‘just settled’ for whoever or whatever.

The next time I get married, I will be marrying the most amazing man alive.

The idea is to keep it simple. When you complicate something as pure as love…it dashes it with negative salt shakes, that can often make it meander inappropriately.

Anyway, i hope you all have the most delicious bank holiday weekend!

I’m off on my travels!

I’ll check in later.

Thank you for following my life.

ps/ Exciting things are about to happen.

 

 

 

 

Cocktails, Banter & Love History

Double B: ‘Yeah but you’re always hung over on a Saturday…’

Firmonnell: ‘I still come in and DO WORK. Anyway, fuck off!!! YOU CAN’T TALK when you’ve once walked into work looking like a 192o’s DISHWASHER!!!!’

Double B: ‘Chrissie? Is this YOUR passport?’

(Shows me a passport of a young Chinese man…)

‘…just thought it was you without your weave in…’

Me: ‘LOL. Why are you ALL dickheads??? Anyway, shut up, i’m texting… Potter says he’s *got me sussed…?* What is he even on about?? Got me sussed? Like i’m some kind of …’

Double D: ‘Look at you. You just love all the attention. You need it now that you’re old..’

Me: ‘What the actual fuck! Leave me alone. Leave me in my granny corner to be old and quiet.’

Double D: ‘It’s just banter… GOD!!’

Me: ‘Hmmm…well I don’t like it. I’m sensitive…’

There is a *PAUSE*

Then as I peeked at Firmonnell via my little kitten eye..we literally burst into a hysterical, mid blowing belly chuckle! A chuckle so hard that we literally flung our heads back and maybe did LITTLE WEES in our Ann Summers/Bridget Jones frillies.

I have the greatest chick friends…they sort of worship me and ground me all at the same ‘abusive’ time. 🙂 You need your life soldiers. Ya chicks in heels. We support each other to the moon and back and even though we banter away with inappropriate humour, sassy tongues, tears or tantrums at times…. (It’s just what ‘us northerners’ do…) Alongside that, we build each other up so greatly, that there’ll never be a page in our diaries that reads, ‘I just never felt good enough..’

This chapter of my life is the changing chapter, yet it is currently a GREAT ONE. I’ll always remember it…Sort of like I remember my first ever LA chapter…when I arrived at LAX with nothing but a suitcase and my fingers crossed, as the warm air hit me. I also remember that in that time…I fell in love…It ran through my mind as I drove home yesterday after work. I haven’t spoken to Mikey (who was my first husband, when we were kids in LA, trying to be future success stories) and i’m someone who’s always really great with my exes. I’m apparently always ‘the one that got away.’ *Rolls Eyes.* I’m joking…Lol…I’m good friends with a lot of my exes and I do mean JUST FRIENDS. Not all of you though. Some of you I really do think are utter planks. 🙂 You know who you are…*POINTS FINGERS.*

Anyway, I thought about that time merrily because it was such a pure time before the birth of ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ so to speak. I was so innocent then and in that time I couldn’t have met a more perfect ‘team mate’ to do life with. So even though we don’t speak…and I there’s a HUGE STORY to tell…There’s years worth of stories that no one will ever know about and I don’t tell the stories because it kinda overlaps with certain things, that were going on in my life at that time…and well I respect him enough to keep it bundled as a silent ‘memory bubble,’ that we’ll both have.  We didn’t quite get the correct closure…I’d say. One day, when I see him.. I’ll get that. During that time, if we didn’t go our separate ways, he certainly wouldn’t have become the success he is today…and well…neither would I. We were young and to be honest it’s kinda the Hollywood way….

But yes, as I drove home yesterday early evening, I smiled because during that early LA chapter, I kinda looked back and thanked him for making me feel like the most loved girl in the entire world. He respected and treasured me. Some girls go through their entire lives never getting to feel that…I mean GOD, I don’t even nearly feel like that right now…But it was so important that it popped into my head because it reminded me of a very happy LA chapter (as it did go a bit dodgy from that point, but that dodginess was essential to my making 🙂 ) and it also reminded me that in life anything can happen when it comes to love…and sometimes it can just ‘Jack in a Box’ you out of nowhere. If you’ve felt true love, you can feel it again….and if you ARE single, be you young, in your 20’s, fourties or an aging, independent thirty something glamour puss 😉 know that there’s this AMAZING guy, who will pop out of nowhere and treasure you. One that you’ll actually fancy! I know!!! No, I haven’t had rum! You don’t have to wait it out..you just have to get on with being your fabulous self…and that imaginary Knight will gallop on in and sweep you off your fucking budget Louboutins.

I don’t know why i’ve gone on about all that, because that’s not at all what I wanted to chat about?? I was gonna tell you all about how important blogging was and how organised and feisty I am now and how I’ve become so focused. How I’ve decide to work with some amazing new brands. I needed to do my Laura Bartlett blog. ( I loved her.) How so much is happening and it’s all very exciting…work wise.

I mean, it all goes back to that meeting that I had with Jack Parsons. It put me in ‘check’ and organised me mentally. He has been one of the most inspiring people i’ve met so far this year, because he actually helped me. I need some help. Lol. ALL THE HELP. But no, right now, when it comes to my brand/business, I’m in a powerful place where I’m gonna need mentoring and at the same time so ‘big boys’ to step in and make Wunna Land MASSIVE. Jack is going to be good at this. I can feel it in my sassy bones. He’s on his way up to the stars and still has the ability to remind me that I can smash it. I’ll remind him of that when we’re both ‘chilling it’ on the Forbes list. 😉 At least he has an office. I want a fucking office!

But i’ll tell you all about work some other time. I guess my mind just wanted to tell you a love story instead?? FFS.

Hope you’re having an amazing weekend. I’m enjoying a really chilled one with my babies ‘Ruby & Junior.’ They rinsed me at the toy store, we’ve lunched and mocktailed at Ego, in Ackworth. (I go there a lot. It’s local to me.) I’m loving my weekend, as usually i’m dashing about having to ‘jump on a train‘ this…or ‘leap to the next platform‘ that. There’s not been much ME time or…well it’s all been fucking stressful. 🙂

Feeling chilled is my favourite…Maybe because by nature my soul is so WILD. When it comes to the days that I choose peace, I treasure them like those red flavoured fruit pastels. I’m happy. My kids are happy. Everyone i’m working with is happy. I’m doing well and now on a ‘not so ropey’ success ladder. I’m strutting up it like i’m Fred Astaire in tap shoes.

*Throws you a wink and a pout*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Chrissie Met Jack

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling

Friday morning of the Blog Awards and I threw everything into an overnight bag, from a toothbrush to a giant turquoise, sequinned  mermaid dress (I always pack light, because during my time in LA, I moved constantly. I hated having to carry everything with me and learnt to leave things behind, whilst always knowing that the lighter you packed, the quicker you could get away if you needed to. 🙂 )

Anyhow, I dashed to the train station and went from Doncaster to Kings Cross. It literally was a *whizz* of a train, but I’m used to travelling at a moments notice and what could be better than doing so with a much appreciated free gin and tonic and the Geordie announcement man, who kept telling really shit, yet excellently inappropriate jokes, that could’ve got him fired.

‘If you’re getting off at Peterborough…and GOD KNOWS why any of you would want to be getting off or going there…’ 🙂

Lol. Fuck it! You only live once!

That’s why I love travelling Virgin. It’s always so fun and you don’t actually have to be a virgin to the ride it. Who knew? 😉

So, most of the fellows who were headed to the UK Blog Awards that night, only had the Blog Awards to tend to. Lucky. I had two phone meetings on a train, a hotel business proposal, some guy trying to make me sign up to a reality show that I don’t want to do and then my delicious meeting the CEO of Yourfeed UK, Mr. Jack Parsons. (Look above. That’s him.)

So, let me tell you about Jack…Jack Parsons had asked to see me. The summons had come via Twitter and I was excited about it all, from the get go. It was a week after I had spent some time with Steve Bartlett at Social Chain (I was on the Everyday Steve Vlog) and after we fizzled through *busy* schedules, Jack and I managed to ‘diary in’ Friday April 21st for a meeting. I was kitty pumped. He’d read a lot about me and i’d read a lot about him…so I knew that tinkering through the busy London streets in my burnt orange (which was salmon) dress, my tippy tappy Gina heels, Little Mistress Faux Fur and rose gold clutch…was worth it. I had such an easy ride up there, so I knew that the meeting was going to be AMAZING. (I always judge how well my meeting will go, by the physical/emotional ‘temperature’ of my journey to it.  I couldn’t have had an easier journey AND my body was absent of wine. 🙂 )

I LOVE THAT DURING THIS BLOG MY LITTLE BURMESE MOTHER HAS WALKED INTO MY HOME, DASHED UPSTAIRS WITH EXCITEMENT AND JUST HANDED ME A PEN…

‘Look!!! Have you seen my SPERM PEN!!’

Lol. It’s a biro that has pretend sperm swimming in it, with the words ‘Happy Swimmers‘ printed upon it. And you all wonder why I’m might be mentally fucked? Haha! I love it. In her defense, she IS a sexual health Doctor…meaning a pen of that sort really is ‘the norm.’ Kinda like a diamond encrusted ‘bullet’ would be a regular fixture in my version of Wunna land. (Sorry, I’m getting a flashback of ‘Double B‘ telling me the story of how she once bought a ‘bullet’ got so excited and used it so incredibly madly, that she got ‘all the thrush.’ Lol. DYING!)

Shit. I’ve got distracted. I arrived in London. Platform 4? Everyone kept glaring at me. I checked into my hotel and took the easiest journey to 247 Tottenham Court Road to see Jack at Yourfeed UK, on what felt like the loveliest, most unstressful day ever.

Jack is one of the youngest and most inspiring CEO’s in Britain. (I seem to be meeting a lot of them recently, don’t I! You meet everyone for a reason)

He’s only 23…

Jack: ‘But I look fifteen…’

So Jack is currently being hailed as ‘The Prime Minister of The Millennials’ and a ‘Young Richard Branson.‘ Dashing titles aren’t they? Not bad for an inspiring, non smoking, non drinking, easy going, 23 year old CEO. But yes, he is on a big mission to connect 2 million young people to opportunities by 2010. It’s a HUGE challenge, but he’ll do it. I’ve never met a more SAVVY guy, who’s only 23 flipping three! And i’m not joking. I would never just say it. This guy knows everything he needs to know…and goes for it, with passion, skill and this confidence that proceeds him, yet it’s sponged in a humble kindness.

This Summer he is also doing a big ‘on the road’ Pledge tour…I want to be part of that! I’m in the mood to inspire…He totally said I could be. Booyah! *Wiggle Wink.*

Yet, at 1pm as I sat in what looked like a fun waiting room, with MTV playing on a wall mounted TV screen behind me, all the snazzy coffee machines infront of me, business reads on my lap, a ‘table footy’ thing to my right and variously placed giant cacti, surrounding a sign that read ‘HAVAS MEDIA GROUP..’ by lifts…there was a peace, a calm…a really positive, qiuet energy.

‘Hey, I’m Jack.’

(Holds out his hand.  Confident. Positive. Direct. Warm. I look up, stand up, shake his hand with a smile and follow him walking…)

‘Nice to meet you. Do I sound really common?’

‘Haha. No. I’m from Essex…’

‘I love Essex, It’s so bouji now. 😉 ‘

And that’s how it began…

He walked me to through the offices, whilst offering me a drink and led me to HIS office,

‘This is my gaff..’

…which had a fun brick wall, the word YOURFEED written in emojis and a naked Homer Simpson picture in the corner. Was he naked? Can’t remember? 🙂

A cuppa tea and a water were brought in…and life was great!

Straight away without fear, he sits back in his chair, grabs a black note book and pen and starts asking me direct questions, about my life…as he takes notes…and I loved that about him. He got straight to it. We’re both very different. Yet both dynamic and inspiring in our own special ways. He’s a lot more business savvy than I am. He’s real, he’s insightful, he’s inspirational and honest. He doesn’t wear a watch, he keeps things simple, knows how to work a crowd, build a crowd and is the most down to earth human ever.

HE LITERALLY KNOWS EVERYONE. All the most important people in all the land and they respect him for all that he has achieved and all that he is continually doing. He’s someone who CARES about what you’re doing…He’s a ‘tell it as it is’ kinda guy and is the first person in a REALLY LONG TIME, when it comes to business, to turn around, give up his time and offer to help me because he believes in me, finds Wunna Land interesting and just felt like helping someone…and for nothing in return, other than sharing his knowledge.

That’s special isn’t it! You don’t get that these days. Trust me. I know! Not only is that kind, but it’s also very clever…;)

Jack: ‘Now, I read that you don’t like really long winded stories…so I’m gonna cut it down and just hit the bullet points.’

( I liked that!)

He asked me about my story and we talked about my time in LA.

Jack: ‘What did you learn from living in LA?’

Me: ‘I learnt to hustle. It’s a town packed with the most determined and ambitious people in the world…and you have to figure out a way to get noticed, be talented and be able to get what’s yours! YET still be emotionally strong. I learnt everything I know about anything…in Hollywood, because I lived it.’

(And I did! I stiletto pounded that pavement. I worked. I hustled. I bustled. I modelled. I acted. I fell in love. Out of love. I lived!! Oh did I LIVE! But I began MY BLOG and wrote simply out of the love of expression…which 10 years later…would MAKE ME.)

He smirked. Sat back and with an..

‘I like you…’

He threw his his note book down on a desk..

‘I’m not taking notes anymore…’

and told me his story, where it all began, where it was now and where it was going to be headed, as he soon heads his passion Stateside, after championing the UK.

And from that moment on we just bonded, we just got along and work wise it felt great. It was a laugh. We chatted about everything. His work. My work. The work of other people. We laughed about it all. Laughed about ourselves. We told each other stories and HOW I DIDN’T TAKE GEORGE SAMPSON’S VIRGINITY and I called him ‘Royal’ as that’s how I expected him to be..

‘Royal? What do you even mean?’

‘Like a member of the Royal family! lol’

We pissed ourselves laughing.

But I was ASTOUNDED by how much this young guy knew about his world and business. I LEARNT SO MUCH IN AN HOUR AND A HALF  and i’m really not joking. It was genuinely one of the most helpful and inspiring meetings that I have had in…EVER! He’s that good! You would be astonished. I liked how savvy he was. I liked that he just looked at me, pissed himself…and liked me anyway. Lol.

But yes, he’s running Yourfeed UK. He has started a really great Vlog also. It’s real, it’s fun and simply excelling. I’ve started to really love Vlogs as they’re the future reality tv shows. I film the advert for my Vlog shortly…and can’t wait to start mine.

Jack: ‘Right, book back in my diary for again and i’ll help you…’

I’ve never met a more helpful business guy? I love people who I can learn from and we in that hour and a half, discussed so many ways where in which we could develop and improve chrissiewunna.com, into the ‘big time.’

He’s one of those business guys who follows through on his word. He stressed that to me confidentially.

‘If i say something to you. I will follow through with it… ALWAYS.’

I was bamboozled by how smart Jack was….and I respect him for that.

That was a great fucking meeting…I absorbed so much. I want to go on his Summer Tour.

Jack: ‘Can I just ask you something?’

Me: ‘Yeah…’

Jack: ‘You know you bought Steve that Gucci hat….

Me: ‘Yeah it was cool because i had written a blog about how it got to him and then he did a vlog, which showed the gift arriving on his desk..in real life…’

Jack: ‘Did you get you anything back, like he said he would…?’

I’d never really thought about it until then…but it stuck in my mind, as I left the office, *cuddled and cheek kissed* Jack a farewell…and then dashed back across London, back to my hotel to chill for a few hours, after a few drinks and a Mexican late lunch. I watched Real Housewives of New York and was reunited with my passion for Bethany Frankel. (My FAVE housewife of all time.)

Then I watched ‘Dinner Date’ which reminded me of my ‘Swirl.’ I can’t seem to watch it effectively without wanting to hear his banter beside me.

I used my chill time wisely, before slipping into my dress and heading to the UK Blog Awards…

I look forward to my next meeting with Jack…It was a really useful and insightful time…