Drunkies, Messages & Shock UPs!

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I couldn’t sleep at all last night because Ruby’s away on holiday and Junior was at his Dads. My mind couldn’t settle because the two beings, that make my heart worth it, weren’t by my side. It’s mental, because when they’re there all the time, they literally drive me nuts. Yet, as soon as they disappear…GOSH, I DO miss them, madly.

I’m not arsed about doing life on my own.

Give me love, family, a team, a partner…anything? Just give me energy. Give me great people. (The shit ones, i’m not bothered about having around me. Lol.) 

I went out for an early tea, had a couple drinks, watched the Leeds game, with my mates Webbo & Scott. (Who chucked a ‘find your phone,’ bleepy thing across a car park, because it reminded him of his ex wife.)

Last night, I actually learnt how much sex means to a man. How much ‘feeling adored‘ means to a guy.

It was a good night..

I felt tipsy and when i’m tipsy, I have the worst night’s sleep. I have no clue why? I’ll just toss, sweat and turn in my sheets, naked, as my head fills up, with the weirdest dreams ever.

It’s shit!

The good thing is I shocked myself up 6:06 am. I felt awful, dehydrated, my head killed and I had the worst stomach ache. So I ended up naked dashing to the loo, half blind, only to grab a length of tissue, pat down my brow and crash again.

The next time my eyes opened….and they opened to shouting, was at 8:03am…

At 8:03am, I felt fine. I literally felt amazing. So, I figured, I was really lucky, because The Gods had given a second shot at figuring out Wednesday. 😉

You’ve godda thank life for those moments…

Anyway, I actually had an exciting phone call yesterday, which got me ‘juiced’ for potential ‘good times.’ I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but hopefully wonderful things? We’ll see…everything happens for a reason.

Even though I was chipper, I got kinda bored yesterday and drank loads because if it.  Boredom’s a swine for that, innit? Boredom and I are not good friends. I spent my life getting myself into trouble because of Boredom. Then he teamed up with Cupid…and ruined things over and over again for me. Lol.

I did ALWAYS look GOOD though…. whilst getting into trouble.

I mean, The Devil DOES wear Prada. 😉 

But yes, good news phone calls. A lot of work is going down. A lot of looking around, at people and feeling that I’m about to shimmie into another new chapter. Everyone looks like their stuck in a life rut? Me however, I’m feeling lucky girl. I’m still poured over with attention. Influencing & blogging are going fabulously.

Jodie: ‘You should get paid more because I ONLY booked the Kitty Cafe, after seeing your post..’

( I love that. 🙂 I love influencing. It gets my ‘jiggy’ all a jolly.)

Everyone always asks me how or why influencers, bloggers & vloggers get paid? The above…is exactly why! 

I’m an old school girl, with a new school career…and it’s juicy! I’m almost ‘traditional,’ with a modern day twist by nature…and I love it because it makes me feel really whole. Makes me feel really well rounded.

I’ve learnt everything the hard way. Yet that’s how you learn. I’ve never given up. I’ve known that getting past the struggle is what makes you develop. I’ve always given up in love however…(Which i find weird.)

Someone asked me yesterday…why I thought I was 37 single, with 3 marriages under my belt and two babies, to two different fathers…and I paused….thought a little while and replied with a simple..

‘I really don’t know?’

I’m that tragic, I have no clue? Lol. Is it because i’ve lost all hope now? Is it because i’m an egomaniac? It is because i’m so romantic, that I’ve lost myself in a haze of ‘pretend it’s not happening?‘ Is it because i’m shit at coupling up? Or is it because i’m so picky?

Who knows???

It’s just my story and if I tell you the truth…I love it. If I didn’t have that story, i would never have been able to start building a little Wunna empire…There’s a happy ending in it for me, one day. I’m sure? Well I fucking hope! Hahah….

ANYHOW!!

I have excitement on it’s way to me and being made with adventure in my bones…I’m ready for it. I’m living with a sassy kink in my step and i’m loving it. I’m doing me and doing it well. Something’s due. I have a cocktail dripped feeling for it and my gut feeling is exactly on point, right now. It’s so good, it’s sexy.

Scott: ‘I love it when you say you can feel it in your bones…Haha.’

So, right now, I’m kicking off my kitten heels. I’m still answering all your questions on my Insta story, right now...(@chrissiewunna.) Tinker over. Get involved!

If I miss your questions, it’s not deliberate… I’m literally inundated with quezzies…So, i’m picking them at random…

(I had to freestyle a poem about DICKS today! How was YOUR Wednesday.)

Shit!!  forgot to tell ya! Yesterday evening… I received three voice notes from a gentleman…I’ve never met him, but he’s intorduced himself to me previously and i’ve chatted to him briefly via voice note! He just seems so grown and so lovely? Maybe I need that? We’ll see…

Anyway, godda go. I’m chilling with Junior and I now have an 11am audition, in the morning…

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

Girls Night, Back Bends & Things In Our Mouths

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Happy Monday! What a weekend! I’ve had a really busy time and I’m absolutely appreciating all the love that you’re sending my way. It honestly makes me *beam,* as quite frankly, it makes me feel like i’m doing my whole ‘shimmie’ well. So thank you for that!

I was meant to be on an early morning shoot this morning, yet it is chucking it down…raining like a beast…(not that ‘beasts’ rain?) So, due to ‘not very dandy’ picture taking conditions,’ the shoot has had to get postponed. Plus, jiggling outside.. with no top on, in the freezing rainy cold, may look glamourous once posted, however, believe me….IT WILL BE THE MOST UNGLAMOUROUSLY FREEZING TIME!

It also takes an army of people rushing around, throwing warm silver blanket things over me, whilst someone puts up a gazebo to make sure my hair doesn’t get wet and others are on shoe watch to make sure my heels don’t sink into mud. It’s that fussy. I once had to get CARRIED onto set, so my shoes didn’t ruin and then had to get re lipglossed, because I was chewing gum and they didn’t know. A lady had to remove the gum out of my mouth carefully, like it was some kind of ‘don’t touch the sides of my mouth’ game…and then re lip gloss me. Lol I’m not sure why I couldn’t have just spat it out myself…Yet, it was LA…and in LA, your gum will be removed for you.

So yeah, no shoot today.

I had an amazing weekend with the kids. Ruby had a ‘play date’ then we shopped until our kitten feet couldn’t take it. Junior was by my side like my trusty little soldier, lunching and laughing…and being treated to all kinds of ‘goodies.’  I’ve been going through a difficult time with the art of co parenting with his Dad Keiran. I usually co parent well, because i’m quite laid back. But Keiran and I are really different humans and every so often he attempts to get ‘narky’ with me, in order to feel a sense of control. Then remembers that i’m sassy, not his, the better parent and extremely sassy when it comes to the happiness of my baby boy. Every day i’m grateful that I have Junior…and I am extremely grateful that I am no longer married to his Father.

Yippppeeeeeeeeee!

(I’ve just remembered that I have a Skype audition at 3pm. Totally forgot. And if you’re in the same sort of position…know that one day you’ll meet someone who will make you realise why it didn’t work out with everyone else.)

Anyway, my schedules been busy and I haven’t really had much time with ‘the girls.’ Obviously, I tinkered into a new chapter and I no longer get to see them as often…So Saturday night was really great because we all went around to Mel’s or an at home, prosecco and nacho filled evening of ‘catch up,’ drinking  games, banter and love.

I always try and make time for the people that have my back, the people who I care about because I think it’s really important. We do everything for each other….and we’re all so different. I wrote about them daily last year and mainly because these girls are my truest chick besties…. I’m about to go through a very different thime…and something tells me…I’m gonna need them in order to ground Wunna Land and stop me from going insane.

You never go insane if you have good GOOD people around you, be they family, friends or lovers.

I don’t know what happened, but we drank. We drank loads. We’re drinkers.

It didn’t seem like we had drank too much, but once the games were out, the gossip had been exchanged. (Girls are girls, if we’re not talking about men, our sex lives,  life in general or other girls we know..be it in good favour or just for an evil  laugh..then it’s not normal.)

Here’s some conversation snippets…

‘He just never wants sex and i’m like, i need all the dicks…’

‘I love it because i’m not answerable to everyone… I can do what I want..’

‘She’ll do it when she’s ready…’

‘But honestly….how many pies?’

‘Pass me that wine bottle, so I can drink the last bits out the bottle.’

‘I really NEEDED tonight because Men are awful..’

‘Watch me do a back bend.’

‘I like your Vegan thing…I think it’s a good niche.’

‘Did I eat meat? I’m a Veggie? I can’t remember if I ate meat?’

‘But do you actually like anal?’

‘You really need to buy a rose gold bullet.’

Games were played. MORE DRINKS WERE CONSUMED..(and might I add in the poshest prosecco flutes ever. Mel’s a super great host! She really takes care of you, like a Mum…..That gets drunk. J )

We had a little go at ‘Speak Out,’ which I hate because I usually refuse to put something in my mouth that hasn’t been sterilised because I hate that it’s been in everyone else’s mouth. Lol. (There may be males from the past who disagree….LOL..But honestly, i’m a proper germaphobe.)

Me: ‘I can’t play that!’

Hustle: ‘It’s not been in anyones mouth.’

Then they didn’t even put me on a team, so I had to sit there, for no reason with this THING IN MY MOUTH, like a tool, just having normal conversation as they played ‘guess what i’m saying..’

Do know, that I am accidentally really good at drinking games. Everyone, including myself will think i’m going to be shit, because I never care, then something like ‘prosecco’ happens…and BOOM, i’ll win everything…LIKE BEER PONG....and then everyone wants me on their team.

Hahahahaha!

We were acting things out, slagging people off….drinking, drinking and then, after a moment of chatter with ‘Double B’ in the shed and sort of sauntered back in, sat down and Mel just looked at me and said,

‘Are you okay?’

‘No…I feel like I need to be sick..’

(I’m that pathetic.)

So being the ‘Hostest with the Mostest’ Mel finds a giant bowl. It’s all in flash back to me, so it appeared by magic…and I venture out into the garden, with my bowl…(It’s now pitch black)

‘I have to go outside. I can’t have you all watching me…’

And I puke in her washing up bowl and then venture back in filled with smiles, like nothing has happened and I might have won a Beauty Pagent en route, waltz straight through her patio doors gracefully and shout…

‘I’ve just done a massive sick…LOOK!’

Mel: ‘You’ve puked up everything you’ve ‘et’

They’re all pissed, so they find it funny for a second and then just get on with life like a washing up bowl of sick was ‘the norm.’

I felt much better and MEL, again the ‘Hostest with the Mostest’…takes my bowl of sick from me ..and just like that it magically disappears.

Then we talked sex, around a kitchen table…and ‘Fairytale’ decided to do all this back bends in front of an oven. I’m too old to do back bends…Plus, they terrify me because, well…that’s how I ended up having Ruby. J Back bends at Park Plaza, Leeds. (All my children were conceived in hotel rooms. Hahah.  Junior’s was the most grandest, executive ‘four poster bed’ suite at Oulton Hall. Lol. Why am I even telling you this? Whatever…it’s just life. I’m sure you’ve got up to similar.)

Just the most brilliant night, with the girls I hold closest. You should always try and make time for the people who actually make the effort to make time for you. That way you’ll never be alone…and always have true friendship a phone call, or a whatsapp message away.

Felt like shit all Sunday and you know you feel rough when all you can stomach for lunch is a Vimto Slushy.

They all felt shite.

Double’s B Boyfriend was so lovely. He drive every single one of us home, to our doorsteps, to make sure we got home safe. Double B almost puked in a bag and i fell asleep in the back.

Fairytale: ‘Why have we dropped Hustle off first. I was two stops away and now we’re in LEEDS. I could’ve been in bed right now.’

I got out the car and strutted to my door step, as ‘Double B’s’ boyfriends ‘J’ wound down his window and said,

‘Where you going??’

Me: ‘This way…’

Such a fun time….Life is there to be enjoyed.

Enjoy it!

I’m off to go meet ‘Firmonnell’ now. She’s my chick bestie and well couldn’t make it to ‘Girls Night’ on Saturday.

I actually better go..I’ve got to be there at 10.30am…

Love you,

Chrissie x

Ps/ Follow all my ‘socials’ for behind the scenes ‘Wunna Land’ vibes.

Love Lists, Glamour Pussing & Does Size Matter?

Things are wonderful!

Monday was *chocca..blocked* with work. It was a busy one and there were no fruity cocktails in sight. You could’ve kicked me and a bundle of ‘to do’ lists, would’ve fallen out of my system and you know things are crazy when life throws you that ‘non juicy’ bone. As SURELY when people kick me, only fruity frizzles of Martini, *squirts* out of me. No such luck.

Right now i’m hopeful. I’m working hard and with my fingers crossed…I don’t expect anything, I just hope for the best really. I hope I get sent a whole bunch of luck, to go with my whole bunch of hard work and a whole jolly bunch of decent peoples, to man the Wunna Land fort. Something tells me that my next year is going to be great! I’m lucky. I’m really lucky. Please make it be great…Or this blog posts makes me look foolish. 😉

Today, I’m gonna talk about the art of PONDERING.

I’m a doer, not a ponderer. I make decision FAST. Good ones. People waste a lot of time on the simple art of pondering, don’t they? I used to. I don’t any more. I’m a grown up now.  Sometimes we ponder far too much about the things we can’t AT ALL control. You can’t control them. It’s not like you don’t know that? You do and try to anyway. Don’t waste that energy. It’s always what you DO that matters. And further from that, it’s all about how much IMPACT you MAKE from that little piece of ‘doing.’

I’m the kinda girl who will do everything I CAN, I’m a positive person on all levels, but THEN I’ll leave the rest to that good old ‘life magic.’ I believe in fate and destiny. You’ll end up where you’re meant to be. For me, these days, life usually goes great, but when it doesn’t, I just slip on a different set of stilettos and dolly march forward. When you can quick change your heels and still strut forward with a whole heart and a gallop, you’ve got it!

I spent the day with ‘The Girls’ yesterday. (As in my chick friends…not my bosoms. I spend enough time with my chest and let’s face it, they’ve served me well in the past. Lol)

Little Innocent ‘FairyTale Blond’ couldn’t have been more little and innocent yesterday. Everything from trapping fingers, seeing how fast she could run down the stairs, eating fruit, making fairytale cups of tea and hopeful Disney Love occurred in her world. ‘Double B’ strutted in with her Sasserilla scowl, her weave, her bag flung over her ‘had sex last night’ shoulder and with a hangover that could… AND DID… give her tonsillitis today. (She was absent from Wunna land adventures this Tuesday. I knew she should’ve have had sex. Something always goes wrong.)

Mel had decided that her body was so smart, that during the Winter months, it naturally knew how to create an extra layer of warmth, that was made via the fine art of eating things out of the ‘filth drawer.’ (Which she can now do, as she’s a proper full fledge gym goer now and loves it. She also found a dead rat, on the tip of her leopard print shoe, whilst she crossed a road in Doncaster.) Hustle Barbie is still a Vegan and shouting at Jonsez over mangoes. Firmonell sent me a love song, about Chinese people and stated that she was really good at pretending to be a Lesbian. Lady Shizzle definitely agreed that ‘five inches’ was not a good ‘willy size’ and considered being an alcoholic…

Shizzle: ‘Five is SMALL. Six or Seven Inches is AVERAGE. Eight or Nine is BIG.’

Me: ‘Anything else is…pointless.’

Then we went through our personal lists of what our DREAM MAN or partner requirements were. Again..for no real reason. It’s just for kicks innit. 😉 Love being a girl! I’m not gonna say who said what…But here are some snippets of our convo…

‘Stylish…they’ve got to be stylish.’

‘You can give them style!’

‘No you can’t!’

‘Funny. I love funny.’

‘Sexy IS SO IMPORTANT.’

‘They’ve GOT TO BE GOOD AT SEX! I hate bad sex.’

‘Rich.’

‘Rich isn’t on my list.’

‘Rich is on MY LIST!’

‘Oooh no…you’re wrong. Attractive. Handsome.’

‘I like good teeth.’

‘I just like kind.’

‘Generous. It’s alright saying rich, but if they’re tight…’

‘Good manners. A gentleman.’

‘As long as i’m not repulsed by them then i’m okay.’

I was actually JUST telling my guy friend about the above conversation and he was astonished at the fact that not ONE OF US, mentioned ‘Loving, faithful, loyal or respectful.’

We didn’t mention any of the above, because WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO MENTION ANY OF THE ABOVE, it should go without saying. OBVIOUSLY, we’d expect anyone we’re with, or dating… to naturally come to us with a bundle of loyalty, love and respect. Surely they’re not things that boyfriends, husbands or potential partners, or even girlfriends, and wives should need to TRY TO BE. We’re women not kids. Our fun personal lists, were just for bonus points. (Ooh. I need to add ‘Hero’ onto mine. I love a Hero. Can’t believe I forgot that.)

I can’t remember what else I was gonna tell you now?

I’ve got a lot of organizing to do, so i’ve got to get going.

Thank you for following my life.

The amount of you, all over the world, reading this, is crazy and let me tell you, I couldn’t be more grateful. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.THANK YOU.

FYI/ Nothing topped my weekend off than Miss Gemma Collins, falling through a hole, on a stage, that delivered Love Island cast members, at some Radio 1 TV Awards thingy. Lol. OH my GOD. HOW I LOVE ‘THE G.C.’ She stole the show. She’s literally the funniest girl on British TV right now. And yeah, it’s such an awful thing to have happen and I hope she’s not hurt, but GOSH, she filled us ALL UP with sincere laughter and good vibes. She took it like a champ! (Definitely heard that she’s suing them now. 🙂 )

 

 

Cocktails, Banter & Love History

Double B: ‘Yeah but you’re always hung over on a Saturday…’

Firmonnell: ‘I still come in and DO WORK. Anyway, fuck off!!! YOU CAN’T TALK when you’ve once walked into work looking like a 192o’s DISHWASHER!!!!’

Double B: ‘Chrissie? Is this YOUR passport?’

(Shows me a passport of a young Chinese man…)

‘…just thought it was you without your weave in…’

Me: ‘LOL. Why are you ALL dickheads??? Anyway, shut up, i’m texting… Potter says he’s *got me sussed…?* What is he even on about?? Got me sussed? Like i’m some kind of …’

Double D: ‘Look at you. You just love all the attention. You need it now that you’re old..’

Me: ‘What the actual fuck! Leave me alone. Leave me in my granny corner to be old and quiet.’

Double D: ‘It’s just banter… GOD!!’

Me: ‘Hmmm…well I don’t like it. I’m sensitive…’

There is a *PAUSE*

Then as I peeked at Firmonnell via my little kitten eye..we literally burst into a hysterical, mid blowing belly chuckle! A chuckle so hard that we literally flung our heads back and maybe did LITTLE WEES in our Ann Summers/Bridget Jones frillies.

I have the greatest chick friends…they sort of worship me and ground me all at the same ‘abusive’ time. 🙂 You need your life soldiers. Ya chicks in heels. We support each other to the moon and back and even though we banter away with inappropriate humour, sassy tongues, tears or tantrums at times…. (It’s just what ‘us northerners’ do…) Alongside that, we build each other up so greatly, that there’ll never be a page in our diaries that reads, ‘I just never felt good enough..’

This chapter of my life is the changing chapter, yet it is currently a GREAT ONE. I’ll always remember it…Sort of like I remember my first ever LA chapter…when I arrived at LAX with nothing but a suitcase and my fingers crossed, as the warm air hit me. I also remember that in that time…I fell in love…It ran through my mind as I drove home yesterday after work. I haven’t spoken to Mikey (who was my first husband, when we were kids in LA, trying to be future success stories) and i’m someone who’s always really great with my exes. I’m apparently always ‘the one that got away.’ *Rolls Eyes.* I’m joking…Lol…I’m good friends with a lot of my exes and I do mean JUST FRIENDS. Not all of you though. Some of you I really do think are utter planks. 🙂 You know who you are…*POINTS FINGERS.*

Anyway, I thought about that time merrily because it was such a pure time before the birth of ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ so to speak. I was so innocent then and in that time I couldn’t have met a more perfect ‘team mate’ to do life with. So even though we don’t speak…and I there’s a HUGE STORY to tell…There’s years worth of stories that no one will ever know about and I don’t tell the stories because it kinda overlaps with certain things, that were going on in my life at that time…and well I respect him enough to keep it bundled as a silent ‘memory bubble,’ that we’ll both have.  We didn’t quite get the correct closure…I’d say. One day, when I see him.. I’ll get that. During that time, if we didn’t go our separate ways, he certainly wouldn’t have become the success he is today…and well…neither would I. We were young and to be honest it’s kinda the Hollywood way….

But yes, as I drove home yesterday early evening, I smiled because during that early LA chapter, I kinda looked back and thanked him for making me feel like the most loved girl in the entire world. He respected and treasured me. Some girls go through their entire lives never getting to feel that…I mean GOD, I don’t even nearly feel like that right now…But it was so important that it popped into my head because it reminded me of a very happy LA chapter (as it did go a bit dodgy from that point, but that dodginess was essential to my making 🙂 ) and it also reminded me that in life anything can happen when it comes to love…and sometimes it can just ‘Jack in a Box’ you out of nowhere. If you’ve felt true love, you can feel it again….and if you ARE single, be you young, in your 20’s, fourties or an aging, independent thirty something glamour puss 😉 know that there’s this AMAZING guy, who will pop out of nowhere and treasure you. One that you’ll actually fancy! I know!!! No, I haven’t had rum! You don’t have to wait it out..you just have to get on with being your fabulous self…and that imaginary Knight will gallop on in and sweep you off your fucking budget Louboutins.

I don’t know why i’ve gone on about all that, because that’s not at all what I wanted to chat about?? I was gonna tell you all about how important blogging was and how organised and feisty I am now and how I’ve become so focused. How I’ve decide to work with some amazing new brands. I needed to do my Laura Bartlett blog. ( I loved her.) How so much is happening and it’s all very exciting…work wise.

I mean, it all goes back to that meeting that I had with Jack Parsons. It put me in ‘check’ and organised me mentally. He has been one of the most inspiring people i’ve met so far this year, because he actually helped me. I need some help. Lol. ALL THE HELP. But no, right now, when it comes to my brand/business, I’m in a powerful place where I’m gonna need mentoring and at the same time so ‘big boys’ to step in and make Wunna Land MASSIVE. Jack is going to be good at this. I can feel it in my sassy bones. He’s on his way up to the stars and still has the ability to remind me that I can smash it. I’ll remind him of that when we’re both ‘chilling it’ on the Forbes list. 😉 At least he has an office. I want a fucking office!

But i’ll tell you all about work some other time. I guess my mind just wanted to tell you a love story instead?? FFS.

Hope you’re having an amazing weekend. I’m enjoying a really chilled one with my babies ‘Ruby & Junior.’ They rinsed me at the toy store, we’ve lunched and mocktailed at Ego, in Ackworth. (I go there a lot. It’s local to me.) I’m loving my weekend, as usually i’m dashing about having to ‘jump on a train‘ this…or ‘leap to the next platform‘ that. There’s not been much ME time or…well it’s all been fucking stressful. 🙂

Feeling chilled is my favourite…Maybe because by nature my soul is so WILD. When it comes to the days that I choose peace, I treasure them like those red flavoured fruit pastels. I’m happy. My kids are happy. Everyone i’m working with is happy. I’m doing well and now on a ‘not so ropey’ success ladder. I’m strutting up it like i’m Fred Astaire in tap shoes.

*Throws you a wink and a pout*