Love, Gin & Learning Things The Hard Way

I had gin last night, after watching the back of a bald man’s head for a while, during the afternoon, during a moment of ‘by myself’ chill. (I love a ‘by myself’ chill.) Not sure why I was so mesmerized by the back of his really bald head? I just like the way it folded and wiggled whenever I looked up, from Googling myself. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Went well with a rhubarb gin and tonic…It sort of added humour and stability to a moderately emotional time. ๐Ÿ™‚

Yesterday was both busy and chilled. I had an amazing time with Ruby & Junior, we played, we lunched, we loved. I knew that Junior had a great day, simply because whenever he does and I lay him to sleep at night, he always wraps himself around me, cuddles me in bed and whispers…

‘I love you mum. I love you so much.’

(I’ve trained him well. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ย Hair toss, wink.)

Love matters to me. Love matters to me massively. It does to everyone, even when they don’t believe it does. It’s weird because i’m always confident when it comes to love and i’m really comfortable in my own glitzy skin….Yet, I crave love, but only the true kind, so when it comes along, I always want to treasure it and save it forever.

Some people see that as lame. ย I see it as beautiful.

Gin was great last night. I managed to have chitters with my old school friend Kate who switched us to wine. Yet, the reason why it was all so great was because after such a great day, I really really thought about everything. I’m a passionate girl, but an expressive one and sometimes I don’t express as well I should. I get scared to, And no one should feel scared to express. It’s our life, we have one shot…and we’ve got to do it boldy.

So, I expressed yesterday evening, after a really great day, after a couple of good gin and tonics and really chilled times and the thing about my expression was that it was true, it was honest, it was loving, but most of all, it was Me. When it comes to ‘things’ or situations…and when something matters to you deeply, i always think that it’s really important that you’re able to just say how you feel and when you do, whether it’s been listened to or not (and usually if you’re honest, people DO listen) you feel liberated. I felt liberated and today as I woke up and look down at my phone everything felt like bliss. I felt like I had a best friend, who just gets it.

It made me really productive actually. I’m powered my humour, good times and true love. That’s where i get my energy from..and tequila. (Loved the West Hollywood Tequila dance that I used to do probably about 10 years ago now. Hate that I cried afterward because this dude named Ryan didn’t care about me. But loved that drag queen carried me home, like i was a Queen. Lol)

But yes, i’ve got a lot of things going on in work and it’s making me pretend that the little niggly things don’t matter. I don’t like the little niggly things. I leave them and they accumulate and then they terrify me because i’ve left myself a mountain to sort through. Like voicemails. I HATE going through my voicemails, unless they’re all ‘good news’ calls. My emails…this morning I had 79,329 to go through, that I had let accumulate. By noon, I had gone through them all…and now my inbox is chilling at 0. YEAH BABY! (This is why I’ve always said that I need to marry a really organised male, one that’s good at the niggly things. The things that demand organisation. Lol. The big things i can conquer with panache and glamourousity. I’m ace at the big things. I’ve been married three time and people always always message me asking me about my love life. The most common question from women, that I receive weekly is one that asks me if i would ever marry again. And GOD, ABSOLUTELY. But only if the guy was RIGHT! I’m not just gonna high kick gleefully down the isle to anyone. Lol. (I’ve done that before. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

I believe in love (i’m a sucker for it) and yeah, I’ve shared some interesting chapters, that didn’t quite fit. Yet it doesn’t EVER make me feel as though I couldn’t do it again. The great thing is, this time, i’ll get it right. I’m not someone who doesn’t KNOW what I want or what i’m looking or. That’s sexy in itself. I tend to learn the hard way, which to me, is always the BEST way. Nothing like a bit of good old raw experience. Beats the ‘Once Upon Time’ books.

(My good friend Inadequate Chris is just messaging. Remember weeks ago, before I did Ginos, i wrote a blog about his love life…well I was right. He has just waved ‘good bye’ to a 9 year relationship, that maybe wasn’t right anymore for both parties and well, it’s been tough, but he is happily moving forward. Y’see, to me, that 9 years was simply a young chapter and it’s what you do when you’re a grown up that makes impact, because as grown ups, we think wisely and know how to love properly. There’s a stability to us oldies. It great. It’s sexy. Nine years isn’t that long when you have a hopeful 100 years to do love in. Yes, we all hope to get it right the first time, but if you haven’t and in the past I haven’t….obviously….I’ve been hilarious and half of you have followed it through the decades. Do know that it’s right around the corner and that guy or that girl who makes you feel utterly COMPLETE…will find you and adore you…forever. )

But away from my preachy keeness, WUNNA LAND is WONDERFUL right now. I’m working hard, i’m making things happen, i’m feeling really lucky and really positive. All areas are fantastic. I even have to pinch myself to believe it’s true. It’s almost like a dysfunctional Cinderella Story. There’s a lot going on and yes, as always with work, i’m unable to wink it out there, until it’s time. However, it kinda feels like i’m BACK. (Well en route anyway, my Uber must have been delayed. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

In sat in the Mallard in Doncaster blogging this…and two lesbians are talking about dildos infront of their children. Lol. I’m also looking at a picture of Jeremy Clarkson, because they have framed photos of people who grew up in Doncaster, who became stars…On and cycling is on the telly.

I’m off now to do a prosecco and buy hair.

FILL UP ON GOOD TIMES….

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m headed to Social Chain today :)

Wake up! It’s Monday! HURRAH.

Congrats to those of you who took the time to be bothered to get up, get dressed and get your sexy selves to work. You deserve boobie winks for that. (Have no clue what they are?) Bottom line…Without self motivation, you don’t have shit. Well done!

THIS MONDAY, I am the MOST EXCITED that I could EVER BE!! *Happy Dance here.*

And yes, I’m harping on about motivation, and getting a ‘move on,‘ HOWEVER i’m still sat in bra and knickers, with bouncy freshly rollered hair and a pink laptop on my knees….typing away. ๐Ÿ™‚ But whatever, i’ve been up since six o clock doing my eye makeup and dressing the children for school. Lol. That alone is a days work.

The best thing about today, is that I DON’T have that shitty Monday morning feeling, I am bubbled over with ‘joie de vivre.’ I could even have a morning Mimosa and do *can can* kicks, if I could find the right music. ๐Ÿ™‚ When things make you excited, you are on the right track. Everything is about how something makes you FEEL. Excitement…great feeling.

Today, I am headed to Manchester. I’m actually going to be in Manchester both Monday AND Tuesday, so i’ll be blowing *air kisses* to Yorkshire, as my train leaves the platform for now. I feel rested. I feel glammy…and yeah i’m feeling a bit chubby too, but i don’t care, as I’ve Skinny Tanned…so that helps right. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Everyone is messaging me about wanting a waist trainer. Do it. Love it. Don’t have a ‘filth drawer,’ is my answer to you all. I mean what is sexier than CORSET TRAINING.

But cut all the crap…TODAY… I…. (yes, little glamour puss extraordinaire) HEAD DOWN TO SOCIAL CHAIN in Manchester! I KNOW! How exciting! I could *pop.* (As in ‘burst’ and not as in ‘sing you A1 tracks’ from the 90’s.)

Over the last couple months i’ve talked how much I LOVE Steve Bartlett and his Vlogs. He’s my favourite human. I send out that message ALL THE TIME. I’ve watch his Vlog develop. I’ve been hooked. I’ve watched them on appearances. I’ve watched them in bed. On the loo. I’ve made other people watch them in bars. Lol It’s the kind of Vlog, ย (like this blog, ) that you accidentally discover…like treasure. You can come across it at any point of your life journey and when you do….you kinda get hooked and find yourself *tapping* into it all the time. The company & his merry self are pretty much on the route to stardom…

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They’ve been on the cover of The Times, filmed for HBO & Vice, Bartlett’s tinkered on a Power List…all sorts… I once Tweeted him, in my orange fox onesie and asked to head on down…(that sounds rude ๐Ÿ™‚ ) ….He went with ‘yep,’ and well at 3pm, i’ll be tapping on their door.

This whole Steven Bartlett, Social Chain thing is popular, isn’t it? Everyone seems to be nattering about it. It seems sexy. It seems cool. I’ve actually known that I would be going now… for about a month… I’ve been listening to what people say about the Vlog, reading what they’re writing about it…and i’m smiling…as it’s clever, it’s fun…it’s pretty much a show. It IS a show.

I’m a massive fan of the of it all…the company, the people, the characters, the office…Steve….the slide…the bar…the dogs….their work….THE WHOLE KITTY SHABAM…..so my frillies are in an utter TWIST! I cannot wait!

‘Chrissie don’t wear that….you look like you’ve just walked onto the Vegas strip and not someones office…Lol.’

Mel: ‘Does he do rants? I’m sure I watched a Donald Trump rant on my newsfeed once and then nudged my friend and said that’s who Chrissie watches..’

I guess everything is like a sexy game of Chinese Whispers.

‘I wondered if they’ve actually read your blog’

‘Are you going out afterwards?’

‘The poor sods, don’t even know what they’ve let themselves in for!’

Basically, I’m *tapping* into THEIR world, THEIR Monday and TO ME, it’s so utterly SURREAL because what is MORE BIZARRE than watching a place and a bunch of people..literally every day, without them knowing…and then waking up one Monday morning and finding yourself *zapped* into that exact world. Crazy shit!

OOh! I’ve just got a message from Mel. She sent me a lovely one the other night, as I guess you’d never put us together as people who would end up being close friends…We’ve even shocked ourselves…Lol. But we’re ended up being close and I’ve found that we’re more similar than you’d think. But yes, she told me she ‘loved me.’ :) ๐Ÿ™‚ Made me beam!

HAHAHAHAH! Wait!

This message is wishing me well for today and then all about blowjobs!

HAHAHAHA! I LOVE MEL.

Anyway…I’ll be Tweeting, Facebooking and Snapchatting everything and tomorrow there will be a big old blog on it all. So…keep up and add me to everything. Lol.

They’ve already made my Monday better…so hey….

Chick friend:

‘It can only go downhill from here..Hahahah!

WHAT A BITCH.

HAHAHAHA!

(That laugh was fake. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Ps: If you’re so behind on everything and don’t know what I’m talking about…Today you need to make it your mission to find out what Social Chain are…and who Steven Bartlett is….

Happy Monday! x

Cue: Alexandra…..

Men, Past Puddles & Work

Hiya! How’s Sunday going! I’ve been busy!

I can’t even tell you the whole shabam, if i tried. But i’ve worked hard, i’ve travelled, i’ve smashed ‘Bingo’ for booze, i’ve slotted in working with some huge brands that have decided to ‘dolly’ along with Wunna land, as apparently my words and face are a ‘good fit.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ (It’s funny because if i do anything i ‘perform.’ But right now, i write about life, MY life..and important folk will tipper tapper at my door with opportunity, asking me to write a bit of this and jiggle a bit of that….which i adore because I find it easy…THEN they realize that i’m apparently aesthetically pleasing and a ย bit of a ‘wonder’ when a camera is placed infront of me…THEN then realise that i have this ‘whip’ of a personality…and before you know it, i’m all signed, sealed, delivered and with bows on! It’s great! Life is good. By this time next year, i will have rinsed it. Lol.)

Over the last week, i’ve been ill, yet i’ve been everywhere and done everything. But mainly worked my kitty glitter socks off. I’ve had great moments with good friends and been understanding with people that might need to me see the world from their point of view, for the time being…which i’m good at. I’ve drank a lot of Prosecco. But i earnt it. And i’ve found the simple pleasures, like being Mum and typing the word ‘BOOBIES’ out on a calculator uplifting. (The kids and i have been closer than ever recently and it makes me smile because even though they’re five and three, everyone will tell you that it’s like they are fifteen and thirteen. They know SO much for being kids and i’m really not joking. I went to Parent’s Evening the other night and Ruby’s teacher, who told me that she was excelling beyond her years, said that he just couldn’t fault her because she wasย that much of a delight and that to be honest speaking to Ruby was like speaking to ‘an adult.’ Lol. ย I mean, last night ย when she went out to dinner with her Dad, she said she couldn’t WAIT to just get home, so she could ‘let loose and chill out with Mum.’ That made my heart smile. Not really for any proper reason, but just because It kinda made me feel as though I was doing a good job and when you’re a single mum, you collect those moments with pride. I’m having a funny moment with ‘The Dads’ right now as Keiran thinks Pete is trying to windle his way back into Wunna land and Keiran…well Keiran if he could, he would windle also. I however, have jumped over four fences, run a marathon, leap frogged over souls, danced under the stars and scissor kicked in heels and poll vaulted so far forward from those times, that there’s not looking back. I’m not one to ย rewind, it’s pointless. I’m a forward mover, as i know how much life has to offer. I hate it when people, stay stuck, treading water in the mucky puddles of the past. I’m happy to have them in my life as Baby Daddies and respect them both. Yet, they can ‘windle’ all they wish..it won’t work. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

What else did i want to tell you? So much has happened!

I have new friends moving to Leeds. I’m doing Pontefract, Leeds and Manchester right now, as a juggle. A Psychic told me that i would marry again. And i’m in a mode of fun, where in which i feel like i’ve worked so hard and done quite well, that even though it’s only the beginning, i deserve to ‘fun’ the rest of the year out. If you don’t have balance you don’t have anything. Plus, it’s my birthday in a month.

I was also told by one of my guy friends who knows me pretty well that i’m too daunting for a man to want to date me? To the point where in which a guy will like me, but shit himself because he’ll think that i’m not a safe bet, as i’ll one day i’ll leave him or rocket off with some amazing future career and he wouldn’t be able to sustain me?

Eh?

Am I? I’m not! I may seem daunting to the gents who don’t actually know me in real life. The ones that follow a stream of selfies, Facebook news feeds, a Google search or a blog. Yet, in real life…when there’s just me in my skin and bones, and a smile, and i’m right in front of you…i don’t reckon i’m that daunting at all. In fact, i’m ace when it comes to love. You couldn’t have a better team mate, to do life with and i’m confident of that. I’m quite a loyal, calm, stable romantic, who’s dipped in a sense of adventure. I’m fun. I’m stable and loyal because i hate uncertainty. But i value love and like i said, i’m never really worried, as the right guy will know i’m his soulmate…because he’ll feel it and he’ll not be bothered about the ‘what ifs,’ the ‘buts’ or the fear. It won’t be in his nature and i know that. He’ll take the time to get to know me, until he feels all comfy, as at first it’s always weird…and once he’s comfy…he’ll know and he’ll go for it, with his best shoes on and his quiff as high as the sky. Lol.

‘There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words, and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand you without you even having to speak a word.’ย 

Away from all that, i’ve put the Christmas tree up and whatever i’m not about hearing the ‘it’s too early’ bullshit. It’s never to early to embrace the merriment. It’s fucking Christmas. Get with it. If i want the tree up and to guzzle Bailey’s, I WILL and if anyone tells you thatย this time of mulled wine and Bailey’s is bad for you, cut them out, you don’t need that kinda negativity in your life. You need support and like minded fun others. Lol. Fyi, I’m going to look AMAZING during the Christmas season, as i have bought was astonishing sexerilla outfits for the art of cocktailing!

Ps/ I was watching Xfactor last night and i’m loving it. I don’t watch it all, but i only watch it for ‘Five After Midnight’ and ‘Honey G.’ I adore ‘Five After Midnight’ as like Schery says, when they perform it just does something to me and i get all giddy and delighted. ๐Ÿ™‚ To me they’re amazing. So they’re my WINNERS. Fingers crossed. I could watch them for days. And ‘Honey G’…i just find her funny…so when there’s laughter, there’s always my support. So last night, after the boys performed i Tweeted my adoration for them and straight after they got off stage they retweeted it and my favourite one followed me. I loved it as for the first time, i felt like a proper fan. Hahaha. It made me feel really good! So from now on, when people send me adoration and Tweets, i’ve decided to show them some utter love back, rather than ignore them lol (i’m so polite) as it really does make you feel good.

 

 

 

 

Hairdos and Gorillas

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I literally woke up at the crack of dawn to rush out and purchase cocktails for my Vlog this morning. Lord knows what the Marks & Spencers counter girls thought, Lol…(it reminds me of when Jenna and I went to London and bought tons of booze for the hotel room at around 9am.) However, luckily, the rest of my cocktaily Vlog material was purchased from my local supermarket, ‘The Co op’ in Ackworth….and well they’ve probably expect it of me.

During my morning errand run, (Some people need to buy stamps. I need to purchase a ‘Harvey Wallbanger’ in a can….) Ben found himself all alone in the house, without a Wunna to tend to him. ๐Ÿ™‚ He requested a Monster energy drink, because he needed a ‘pick me up’ due to a case of the ‘maybe flu,’ to which I immediately text back with a ‘that’s not on your diet!!’

And this was his reply ๐Ÿ™‚ ….

Men! They get a cold and it’s like the world has ended. ๐Ÿ™‚ Now, I get that he’s run down and totally snuffly when he wakes up..and I understand that men adore to be babied. But everyone right now has a runny nose…and when I do…I ace it like a champion…meaning unfortunately for him…I make him tooo. Hurrah! ๐Ÿ™‚ (I bought him the Monster. Ah well…i’m soft.)

Once I got home, it was time to get ready for my Vlog. Today i’m filming my Top Five, cocktails in a can. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve cocktailed a lot in my life and have now, along my journey become a ‘cocktail in a can’ connoisseur. (Such a talent, i know. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) So, today i’m sharing my faves with you, meaning that you too can join in the merriness, without ever having to purchase a dodgy tasting canned cocktail. Yipppeee! (I’m in Neon…it itches.)

Whilst, I was getting ready for my rant…I go to give Benny a little ‘get well’ cuddle…and what do I see in his Google search bar. Nope, not porn…not the best hotels for Valentines :)…BUT THIS..’how heavy is king kong.’ LMAO

Whaaaat???

This is what the man of my dreams is Googling. Lol. He spent part of his day Googling how heavy a giant gorilla is? Hahaha. (In his defense, it is actually proper research, but he’s turned proper geeky about it now and has calculated how fast King Kong would’ve ran, during that time? *Weeing myself.*)

So yeah, whilst he’s being all geeky, informative and intellectual, i’ve been upstairs doing my hair. ๐Ÿ™‚

Couples are couples…and right now, I couldn’t love him any more. (How adorable.) Lol.