No message is A message….. ;)

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Simmie Love: ‘Did you whatsapp that message to The Swirl?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He hasn’t read it yet…’

Simme Love: ‘If he reads it and doesn’t reply, know that no message, IS a message. That whole time, he was probably dating someone..’

Me: ‘It’s not that dramatic. I’ll just snapchat it to him later. We’re in totally different time zones. It’s like midnight there.’ 

No message, is a message…what a great thing to remember..

How are you all? My babies are back at school. I’ve smashed a business meeting, two shoots and an audition, already and it’s not even 3pm.

Don’t hate me cos i’m jiggly. 😉

I’m back on track. All feels delightful. I’m meant to be answering your Insta questions (that I do daily) on my blog today, but there hasn’t been a lot of ‘JUICY’ questions. They’ve all been a bit ‘same old,’ and dull.

I’m going through an exciting change and i’m feeling ya love.

Today, I strutted towards my local supermarket and as I did, this older Yorkshire guy, poked his head out the window and shouted..

‘Here! Love! Them pictures that your posting are getting better & better! I love that one that you put up this morning…Really good. 😉 ‘

And it made me smile, not because of the recognition..which is always good in my old age. Everyone likes it. But because it made me realize that it’s the smallest things, that make me smile.

I buzzed off what he said…

All it took was a little ‘shout out’ of appreciation…and I was beaming. (I do hear it a lot online…yet it was good to receive a real life shout out, as I’ve heard that people are often too scared to do that?

You shouldn’t be. I’m the warmest soul you’re ever gonna meet. Yeah, i’m banter. Yeah I’m sassy…But i’m jolly. Lol.

It’s funny because as girls, we never feel appreciated enough, do we? Our history makes us harder and makes us doubt ourselves at times. But don’t…because there are little things that you will find that empower you. Little things, that are filled with appreciation.

I’ve slowly through time BECOME so independant, because I had to. I never wanted to feel like I had to rely on anyone else. I never wanted to feel like I had to rely on a guy in a relationship., because no one really meant ‘forever..’

Whereas, if i’m being honest…all I would want is for a guy, to take me by the hand, tell me that everything’s going to be okay and take care of me, so I can enjoy being a girl….without having to always ‘sass’ it out.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m ambitious and determined, so I want my own ting and career going down…YET, emotionally, i’d love a true Knight…once that wouldn’t think twice, when it comes to loving, caring and looking after me. I need a REAL MAN.

Whatsapp Msg:

Chick friend: ‘Hey. What’s happening with you? Need a catch up soon…He’s gone.. and I need some fun..’

SEE! We’re ALL going through it…’

I have my friendly ‘meet up’ shortly, don’t I and i’m excited for it…and every time ‘T Bone’ is more and more disinterested…it kinda makes me more excited for what lies ahead. (Notice that I all him both nicknames, depending on what i’m typing. Lol. Yes. I’m a lunatic.) 

Livvy C: ‘I kinda want him to stand you up in a way, in the nicest way.’

Me: ‘Why?’

Livvy C: ‘I want him to be a douche…because I think you’re gonna meet him, he’ll be all delightful and you’ll be IMMEDIATELY sprung..as always..’

Me: ‘No. I’m going into it on a friendly basis….I’m cool…’

Livvy C: ‘There’s just someone that you’re meant for…and I just don’t want you to get over excited…and gush…because you do that…’

Me: ‘Not with everyone..’

Livvy C: ‘Haha. True. But you’re gonna like him…and he’s DEFINITELY going to like you..and because he’s older than you, he’s going to baby you.’

It’s almost like she would prefer me to delusionally gush over ‘T Bone.’ Yet my spirit is one of adventure…and so far, all seems great. Plus, i’m equipped for a ‘stand up,’ (a ‘stand up won’t happen,) yet it’s not like it hasn’t happened to me a million times before..

(A guy once stood me up in a hotel room in London…who i’d known for a really long time…)

But all that to one side…Life is really good. I feel like my career is on the up. I always say, ‘slow and steady…’ but moving…and moving is better than still.

The first thing I Googled this morning was DEFINITELY..

‘Exercises to tighten your vagina..’

..followed by some X rated ‘on my own’ stuff. Lol 😉

So yeah…my world’s complete.

How’s yours?

ps/ I never know what’s going to happen to me, I always know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

Flashbacks, Fifty Shades & My Flipping Love Life

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I keep doing this thing where I wake up at around 3am in the morning, because I can’t sleep? I sleep naked and so I’ll moan that i’m chilly, step out of bed, not remember to grab a tshirt and instead unplug my phone (priorities)  and just get back into bed. Then i’ll start to Google everything. Literally anything. Lol. Before I get back into bed, I’ll look in the mirror to see if I look okay, whilst it’s still dark, yet turning into morning??? Why do I do that!!?! No one’s there but ME!!!???!! I’ll Google search until I’m tired. Am I a lunatic? That seems a pretty safe option. 😉

I did watch ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ before I went to bed….which probably didn’t help, as I have to psycho analyse everything that torments me…:) I dreamt about it all night and then found myself Googling ‘Sadists’ incase I knew any? Lol. Everyone I know is now a sadist or a psychopath. That’s what I came up with 🙂 and then I  just fell asleep, until my kitten woke me at six clock, via the fine art of paw tapping, to make sure I was up to do get Ruby ready for school.

All the way to the school run, life moments kept flashbacking at me, during my drive. My mind went back almost 10 years and for a second, it shot to a time, where I was dating Boyband Jonny, it was late afternoon, we were having a difficult time in our relationships, yet I didn’t know why? He was expressive because he was a creative. Yet, closed off emotionally, because…I’m gonna go with….he was an Aquarian? Lol. (Aquarian’s always find me.)

Anyway, (and this was almost a decade ago) i stepped into a black cab in the middle of Camden, where he was living, which would take me back to Kings Cross, so I could shimmie back onto Northern Soil…and before my cab left, he came running down the street, in his skinny jeans, up to the window and passed me a note. I smiled, waved and the car drove away.

During my journey, I opened the folded hand written note and it read…

‘Dear Chrissie,

I know I never show it…and i’m sorry for that. But I want you to know that whenever i’m with you, my heart lights up.’

(It’s strange that he could never tell me, and had to write it. But I appreciated that anyway, because any expression is good expression, right?)

Then my *flashback* stopped… I was still en route to Ruby’s school drop off. (Boyband Jonny is actually gay now and exceedingly happy and settled. He may not have become the Boyband Superstar that he always wanted…But he openly found his happy place, which not only is MORE important…Yet also makes me beam.) 

But anyway, I was driving away, ‘Happy as Larry,’ chatting to Ruby in the car…I get to the big Ackworth roundabout and my mind begins to race again and this time it takes me to this time last year….

‘The Swirl.’ 

It took me to a moment where we were both laid in a bed…his bed, everything was peaceful and it was probably around 11pmish. We’d just watched ‘Britains Got Talent’ and then a round of ‘Celeb Juice,’ before showers in separate bathrooms and night time. I remember him looking at me, saying ‘Things with you are just easy… and after I agreed, we fell asleep that night holding hands.

Then my mind *WHIZZED* me back, almost like it didn’t want me to settle upon that thought. It took me to earlier that day, where ‘The Swirl’ and I were sat on a pale lemon sofa…(which he kept assuring me he didn’t pick..)

‘It was already here when I moved in…’

It made me notice how particular & creative he actually was. (He’s an Aquarian also! They find me.) I noticed a lot of things about him that afternoon…and I loved that, because I adore nothing more than learning about people….simply by observing them… merrily. I’m like a sponge. I’ll take in EVERYTHING.

But anyway, my mind took me to us being sat on this sofa together. We were chilling and watching tv. I made fun of something. He made fun of it also and almost innocently we both burst into this silly banter of laughter. I remember looking at him when he laughed, which made me smile.  I also remember him looking at me when I was laughing, yet when I turned to face him, (as I could feel his eyes on me,) he turned his head away quickly.

Then my *Flashbacks* stopped.

Just like that i was at Ruby’s school…and my normal day had begun.

What is going on with my mind, right now? Both happy moments. Both loving memories.

Yet, I have noticed in love, that I am always in the same place.

I achieve everything work wise. I’m a great mum…I’ve developed with Ruby & Junior threefold. I adore being Mum.It’s not always easy, but I can do it on m own and it has been my greatest gift…my life saver. I dance to New Chapters always because i’m not scared of them. I’m not scared of anything. I’m irrepressible. (My Geography teacher used to always say that about me at school. Lol.)

I’m a life warrior and probably one of the most emotionally together chicks I know! It’s almost like nothing can sort of break me down, because i’ve grown so much, after failing at shit, winning at shit, being broken, yet getting back up each time, with a SMILE ON MY FACE. I feel unbreakable. It’s powerful. It radiates from me…and in a way, i wish every woman felt like that. ( My close chick friends are actually all like that…Well, most of them anyway. 😉 )

During my time in Hollywood, I went through SO much. I had the best time definitely, but. I was in my 20’s growing up in LA. There were both good and bad moments, that I never have EVER told anyone anything about…because i’ve never wanted to. But i’ve experienced life and walked lots of different paths. At 20 it was hard. At 37, it’s now such a blessing.

That’s why I always say it is MUCH MUCH BETTER for someone to come into success, fortune, or fame as a 30 something or older, than it is as a young one….As like with love, you can handle it with a better perspective without getting carried away with the bullshit. (I never get carried away with the bullshit…even if it looks like I am, or have. 😉 )

However, when it comes to my love life…Like I said earlier…I am always in the same place…

..and it’s been that way since I was 19.

I don’t get it?

I KNOW what I want and I don’t always get it. (And i’ll never just settle.) I know what I do NOT want and that is anything that is emotionally challenging…Things should come easily….At 37, I don’t want to be dealing with issues….I just want to gallop around to the sound of happiness and true love.

I believe in boys chasing girls…The ‘old school’ tactics. It shows that they’re confident and it’s not dipped in arrogance. It shows that they’re not scared of love. It’s easy and uncomplicated.

I believe in honest expression..without that you don’t have anything. You might as well be a cardboard cut out. (I once watched one of my guy friends, make potential girlfriends *jump through hoops* to win his affection. He expected them to guess how he was feeling? I never understood why? It taught me a lot about him. He had his own issues. I accepted him for who he was, as he was one of my guy besties and I didn’t ever have to date him. Lol. Yet I always hoped those chicks quit ‘jumping.‘ He wasn’t THAT MUCH of a prize. 🙂

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I believe in love. I always believe in love. And I hope you do tooo!

So let’s hope that a decade from now….when i’m flipping 47. I won’t be telling you that i’m still in the same place…

But if I am…I’m sure i’ll still be happy…. 😉

Chrissie x

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Life, Chicken Outfits & Train Journies

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Hi! I haven’t abandoned you! Just lots going on right now, which is ticking my work boxes off with  ‘deliciousness.‘ I’m learning a lot about people and life right now. I always thought I knew everything. I would wouldn’t I!! 😉 I can be such a cocky little shit at times. But what i’ve treasured from my darling little accidental ‘life learns’ over the past couple days, is that you should never ever be afraid to voice how YOU FEEL about something, someone, or a situation, no matter how awkward it may make you or others feel. By nature, I’m a ‘voicer’ and I stand by being expressive, until the day I keel over in glitter heels. It’s good for everyone!

(Like last night, I sent someone a message because I must’ve kinda doubted myself…I did cringe after I sent it…But it was how I really felt in the moment. I chilled a second..and just like that, this morning… everything was back to dandy.)

Another lesson…Don’t doubt yourself.

(I’m only saying that so I remember… But you always need life lesson reminders.)

The right people will always understand you. The ones who truly care for you, will always still be there. The people who do you wrong, or disappear will always say ‘sorry’ or come back to you whole heartedly…if they’re meant to be in your life. Stay loyal to what you believe is right for YOU and DO NOT go against, what your gut instinct tells you…

Unless, your gut instinct is kinda ‘off par,‘… then you’re kinda fucked. 🙂  Like one of my Straight guy friends, he has the worst ‘Gaydar‘ in the entire world ever! He can never be trusted with it…

Straight Friend: ‘He’s not gay..’

Me: ”We’re in G.A.Y, he said he loved me on the Hilton Show, loves my eyeshadow and then said *i’m gay.*”

Straight Friend: ‘That doesn’t mean he’s actually gay..’

Anyway….busy weekend! I travelled to Manchester. Well I did Stockport and then this other place that began with ‘L,’ for work. I can’t really tell you too much about it other than, I was in trainers…(I KNOW…HELL DIDN’T FREEZE OVER.) Around me there were really bright, almost neon, yellow walls, bright orange, semi circled chairs.. in a sports hall, tons of paperwork everywhere….and humans.

There was even a point where I was trapped in a room, with a ballet bar and a giant mirrored wall…with a black elasticated waist band strapped around me, that had a HUGE, ALMOST GIANT elastic band attached to it. (Could life get any offer.) And to make it worse…I was also in swimming goggles, which pretty much broke my heart.

‘What about my flipping eyelashes…I can’t see a thing. I can’t ACTUALLY SEE!’

Then as a camera filmed, others watched and a panel of humans took notes…the giant elastic band, was slowly pulled back, so it was stretched out, to its absolute tightest…. and then let go on me.

Hurrah!

Did that happen to you on Sunday?

‘Hustle Barbie’ messaged me during the day to see how it was all going…

Me: ‘Aww! Yeah. Such a blast. I have just had a giant elastic band, stretched back and pinged into my fanny!!’

Hustle: ‘Hahaha. I love it! I can’t wait!’

Before that I was having a conversation with a cabaret act. He was once on the Xfactor Bloopers and wore golden glittery shoes…There was also a Tattooed model, an elderly lady dressed in a CHICKEN OUTFIT, a former Aston Villa pin up girl (who was cool, witty and said she used to be 29 stone,) a guy from Belfast, who thought a bomb or something shifty was under his chair, a guy opposite me who had flown in from Perth and to my right sat a football player…

We had to blow a balloon up and draw whatever we wanted on it…

Football Player: ‘What have you drawn on your balloon?’

Me: ‘Boobs…You’ve drawn a football net… We’re so creative. Lol’

Then he starts reading everything about me. We had these sheets by us, that pretty much stated our lives in 2 pages of A4. I didn’t LET him read it…he just couldn’t stop reading it. (Must be my charm.)

Football Player: ‘You look great! You’re really pretty. You’re soo…’

Me; ‘Thanks. That’s sweet. Lol.’

Football Player: ‘As if your body’s like that and you’ve had two kids.’

(He kept reading notes about me, putting his head up and then making a statement.)

Me: ‘Hahah. Smooth. Scoring all the points.’

Footy Player: ‘So you’re a blogger and model. What’s a glamour model? I’m having to take a break from football…that’s why I’m here. I bought out my contract and..’

Me: ‘Where are you from? Who did you play for?

Footy Player: ‘France. I’m here because of football. It’s my life. I love it. I just hate the other shit that comes with it. I’ve played for lots of clubs…Like Tottenham…*******…..********** but…yeah, I guess I don’t look really professional. I’m not playing right now…I’ve actually moved to Leeds.’

(Then he told me loads of secrets that I cannot possibly tell you)

…and in that moment I actually felt really bad for him…because an unhappiness swirled about him….But we were there to do a job that day and everyone there…did. He was a really open guy…quite quiet… I didn’t fancy him at all….he just wasn’t my type…but he was a good friend during that day. He sort of latched onto me because he trusted me.

I felt bad for him because at one point, all the guys were just stood around him constantly, asking him continuous questions about ‘football this, football that…’ and all the things he didn’t want to talk about…I watched it and just saw him look uncomfortable. Show business, is not something that he is necessarily used to.

I felt bad because you can literally ask me anything. I write a whole online diary about my entire existence. I bloom when a camera is plonked in my face. Opening up about my life, what I think and making a ‘show’ of it, is all is my forte… It’s where I feel comfy. AND I do not LIKE to see other people feeling UNCOMFORTABLE. I wanted to go tell his story for him. Lol.

But then, as life would have it, he too got trapped in a mirrored room, with a giant elastic band strapped onto his waist. Again, like moi….he toooo, had to have it ‘stretched out and pinged back’ upon himself. 🙂 Kinda ‘broke him into’ entertainment.

Just a great day. I had a blast. I met so many people, who were all so different to me. I was fascinated. Sometimes, I found them a bit boring, but other times I found them alright. Lol. Plus, I’m never wearing swimming goggles ever again. I’m a bloody glamour puss…not a…Goggled, boobied… life guard. AND i was in flipping trainers!!! EWW! On the way there, a guy named ‘Trigger’ tried to make me GET IN HIS CAR.

Me: ‘No. You’re alright mate. I’ll just walk.’

Trigger: ‘Well gimme ya numba den..’

Me: ‘My phone doesn’t work. 🙂 Godda go.’

Trigger: ‘Get in my car. Honest. I’ll takes you there. I’m a good person me.’

Me: ‘I am absolutely sure you are. And I am absolutely not getting in your car. Lol But thank you so much, banter was fun…’

I couldn’t wait to get home Sunday evening. Then I went through emailed drama…so I just left it.

Too blessed to be stressed. *Shimmie everywhere.*

On the train there though, this guy…I don’t even know his name? Anyway, he was from Chesterfield, got on my train, had a huge Ikea bag filled with clothes, he was wearing a beanie hat and an oversized jacket. He tooo, was also en route to Manchester and sat on the chair next to me.

Funny guy,  and so different to me, but we got on well. Bless him.

Now, I usually hate talking to strangers on the train. I’m chatty. But i usually like to chill, as I spend my life talking to strangers and selfie posing with or for them. I really liked talking to this stranger because he humored me and right from the moment he sat down he apologized for having the hugest bag in the world.

Him: ‘Are you getting off soon? Should we swap places?’

Me: ‘Yeah, if you want… I’m off at the next stop.’

Him: ‘Stockport’s a good 40 mins away yet. We’ll be fine.’

Turns out he used to work at Tesco’s, hated it so much because it made him feel worthless, just like a number. And that’s like any normal ‘just to make money‘ job really…If you don’t create your own dream and work it, you end up working someone else’s dream, where you are always a number…even when they try and tell you you’re not. And you’re a classed as a ‘number’ because you can quite easily be replaced…even if you think you can’t.

Him: ‘I gave up my job, my everything and just fucked off to Amsterdam really for a month… It was great.’

He said it like he couldn’t feel more liberated. I liked it, because he wasn’t scared to let go of something that made him feel miserable.

Him: ‘I think i just sat in this cafe, the whole time and spend about £1000 in a week doing nothing… I met this couple and they had started up a clothing business…They were travelling around, selling clothes…I liked it, so I told them that I was completely gonna steal their idea and did.’

That’s what he does now…He owns ‘Red & Blue Umbrella’ which is a Vintage clothing company. He’s opened up a store in Manchester (that’s where he was taking the clothes.) It’s four months new and is looking to open up in Leeds, Edinburgh and London? I might have just made London up?

Nicest guy, funniest guy, and now on his way to doing great things…after giving up something that wasn’t true to his heart.

Me: ‘You’re gonna do well.’

Him: ‘Yeah, it’s still early days yet… Plus, I believe that you can FAIL at something YOU HATE, so you might as well give something a go and maybe fail at something you LOVE.’

Me: ‘I love that.’

Him: ‘I don’t even know if I saw that couple in Amsterdam. It was either all the ‘shrooms’ or actual human beings…couldn’t really tell you.’

Either way. Lol. It worked out for him.

I was sat next to him and I was showing him the pics that I had just posted on Instagram…( it was enthralling for him, i’m sure, lol) and he showed me how to work depop.

I will be posting products on my depop this week , for you to buy…at some point.

These were my Instagram pics. 🙂 Lol.

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Me: ‘My stop…Godda go!’

Then I headed on my way. I looked back. He didn’t see me look back, and I saw him looking at his phone and laughing. He looked really happy. Then some middle aged lady asked to sit next to him..He shuffled his Ikea bag over.

Chick Friend Jodie: ‘As if he just randomly got on a train and just so happened to sit next to you. It’s always really awkward for them because you’re someone who they don’t know immediately, but then discover. But they discover it during their time of sitting next to you on the train, or whilst you’re at the bar ordering a gin… It’s crazy for them.’

Me: ‘It’s not crazy. It’s not that good a discovery. Lol. But a guy who came and sat at my table…That New Jersey one, when I went to visit Ronnie…he actually said that he excused himself from the table, went to the toilet, Googled me, saw a bunch of pictures and read my last blog post, before sitting himself back down. I thought he had gone to do a wee. I’m actually oblivious to it I like it though. I like it when they read my blog.’

Happy Tuesday…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kittens, Selfies, Success & Crotches….

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This time last year, on this day, the majority of people who found their way to CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM had Google Searched the word ‘CROTCHES.

Yes…you Googled ‘Crotches’ and Google, lead you to my diary. Lol. I thought I was so ‘Sex And The City’ but I was a gusset.

That was the top search of the day, that led traffic to Wunna Land.

Now, I’m not complaining, why would I, it’s great…I have a crotch and I love my crotch…BUT WHO THE HELL Googles the word ‘Crotches?’ 

It’s not big, it’s not clever (well some are 😉.)  It’s just not glamourous, is it? Nor is it normal. So, please let me save your soul. Please do not don’t let your stalky partner find it on your Google History.

Even ‘Wallabies’ or ‘Budget Porn’ is better than that!

I’d tell you what the last 4 things I Googled were, if they weren’t so embarrassing. Balls to it. I’ll tell you anyway….

The first TWO are my own name…and I’m not embarrassed about that. I’m ace! Plus, I don’t do it as often anymore. I don’t care as much. Today I cared because I needed to specifically check something. I’m healed.

Praise the Lord.

The next is the name of the boy that I fancy. (I think it’s normal. You may think it’s moderately stalky. He ma think it’s moderately stalky. But, you all do it. Shut up! Haha!) If someone likes you, they like ever bit of you…they take the good with the bad.

And the final thing on my Google Search History is the name of a TV show that I’m hoping to show up on…

Crotches…

Is not on my list….(Ruder things have been though.)

However, and of course, a year has passed and the NUMBER ONE words SEARCHED…and placed into Google to find CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM are…

 ‘CHRISSIE WUNNA.’

BOOM! SHAKE YA CROTCHES!

I’m done with that…

Today’s been great. Life is wonderful. I’m the luckiest girl in all the world. I say it all the time. But I mean it. I can’t believe how fortunate I feel. I’ve worked. I’ve selfied. I’ve sorted out my socials and I had two auditions for shows today. I have one tomorrow late afternoon.

Today’s went well …and either way, i just really enjoyed doing them. I LOVE AUDITIONING. I love blogging. And that’s now my life. I’m lucky that I get to do what I love.

If I could say anything and I hate advice giving….But I’m so passionate about this how living life thing, aren’t I!

To me, it’s important that you take the necessary risks to get to your ‘happy place.’ What’s the point to muddling along or feeling unfulfilled? So many people ‘slow paddle’ in the mundane. It’s dull.

Yeah, you might be scared. Yeah you might fail. But in the words of Will Smith…(who is every girl’s crush)…

’You’ve got to feel failure, more failure and more failure, to order to WIN IN THE END.’

Like they always say, ‘COMFORT ZONES’ are beautiful places..but NOTHING EVER GROWS THERE. It’s dead land.

But don’t panic. You’re gonna be fine. Especially, if you’re a guy. I think it’s a GIRLS WORLD right now…and that is gonna continue to GROW. It makes guys panic, as they’re under pressure to make sure they can support their families, love their wives, pay for the world and back, make their mark on the success ladder, grow old, but still look handsome. I guess, the same things as women go through…I take that back. It’s what all humans go through. We all feel pressure at times and we shouldn’t.

What happens, happens.

So make you dreams come true. You can do it. Everything you want to achieve… You CAN ACHIEVE IT. Someone, somewhere in the world has already managed to do it. You’ve got ONE LIFE, with a hopeful 100 years to do whatever you so wish.

People start everywhere. I mean GOD, Brad Pitt used to be the ‘Clucky Chicken’ Mascot that stood outside El Pollo Loco’ (which is like the US KFC.’) Jack Nicholson said he heard SIX HUNDRED ‘NO THANK YOU’S’ before he got his first ‘Yes.’

You’re never too old. You’re never too young. You’re ready when your ‘lion heart’ is juiced. And you’ve got to be ready, because if you’re not…you’re gonna get out ‘juiced’ by idiots like me. I’ll juice you all about. 🙂

YIPPPEEE!

But honestly,  Life will throw you a bone, when you show a bit of heart. Trust me. And then you’ll hear stories from all sorts of people, some you know personally, some you don’t.. who wish and wonder how you did it, how you did your version of ‘success’…and it’s simply because you at least TRIED..which was something they never dare do!

God. I’ve got all preachy. My pants probably have Oprah’s face printed on them, right now.

Anyway…

Today…I bumped into my old school friend Kate. She’s hilarious. She found me and hugged me from behind. I jumped with a silent…

‘WHO THE HELL IS TOUCHING ME. DON’T TOUCH ME!’ 🙂

We pissed ourselves laughing and then I kinda noticed that she was in pretty good ‘workout’ shape. She was all thin and buff and in gym wear, at the school pick up. I was in a fluffy white faux fur and knee high boots. We both actually went to that school, and are associated with children who school there now. We didn’t just kick it there for a laugh. (Just so you know. Lol)

Kate: ‘Time off…?’

Me: ‘You look amazing…’

Kate: ‘Yeah, all I do is go to the gym now. I look amazing. Eli’s falling to pieces, but HEY I LOOK FANTASTIC! LOL.’

(Eli, is her son. I love Kate. You can always count on banter and her loyalty when you need it most!)

Anyway…

Thank you for all my SCREENSAVERS SHOTS! The competition went well…And as I said, all of those who sent me a SCREENSHOT will receive a personalised pic from me…as a THANK YOU. (I’m a little concerned that you’re just looking at the pictures and not reading the WORDS. Lol)

I said, that I’d announce a WINNER picked at RANDOM, by a Wunna Land…and that winner will not only receive a personalised picture from me this weekend, but will also receive a VIDEO MESSAGE….(One person has already been contacted in regards to winning a video message for being the FIRST PERSON to send in a ‘Wunna is my Screen saver’ screenshot. I can’t believe how well that competiton actually went. Lol)

But yes, the winner of the Video Message sent in THIS screensaver…

AND we like him because he follows me on everything, reads this blog daily….and comments on EVERYTHING. You deserve a video message. That’s what I want, I need the word spreading…

So well done! And thank you to everyone who made me their screen saver…I loaded a bunch of them up on my ‘socials’….You’ll all get  personalised pics, this weekend.

Therefore, as I rest and curl up with my kitten ‘Rocco….’

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I’ll wish you the most wonderful evening and I’ll fill it with ‘winks’ and love.

Thank you so much for peeking in my diary…

All my heart…

Chrissie x

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Love, Gin & Learning Things The Hard Way

I had gin last night, after watching the back of a bald man’s head for a while, during the afternoon, during a moment of ‘by myself’ chill. (I love a ‘by myself’ chill.) Not sure why I was so mesmerized by the back of his really bald head? I just like the way it folded and wiggled whenever I looked up, from Googling myself. 😉 Went well with a rhubarb gin and tonic…It sort of added humour and stability to a moderately emotional time. 🙂

Yesterday was both busy and chilled. I had an amazing time with Ruby & Junior, we played, we lunched, we loved. I knew that Junior had a great day, simply because whenever he does and I lay him to sleep at night, he always wraps himself around me, cuddles me in bed and whispers…

‘I love you mum. I love you so much.’

(I’ve trained him well. 😉  Hair toss, wink.)

Love matters to me. Love matters to me massively. It does to everyone, even when they don’t believe it does. It’s weird because i’m always confident when it comes to love and i’m really comfortable in my own glitzy skin….Yet, I crave love, but only the true kind, so when it comes along, I always want to treasure it and save it forever.

Some people see that as lame.  I see it as beautiful.

Gin was great last night. I managed to have chitters with my old school friend Kate who switched us to wine. Yet, the reason why it was all so great was because after such a great day, I really really thought about everything. I’m a passionate girl, but an expressive one and sometimes I don’t express as well I should. I get scared to, And no one should feel scared to express. It’s our life, we have one shot…and we’ve got to do it boldy.

So, I expressed yesterday evening, after a really great day, after a couple of good gin and tonics and really chilled times and the thing about my expression was that it was true, it was honest, it was loving, but most of all, it was Me. When it comes to ‘things’ or situations…and when something matters to you deeply, i always think that it’s really important that you’re able to just say how you feel and when you do, whether it’s been listened to or not (and usually if you’re honest, people DO listen) you feel liberated. I felt liberated and today as I woke up and look down at my phone everything felt like bliss. I felt like I had a best friend, who just gets it.

It made me really productive actually. I’m powered my humour, good times and true love. That’s where i get my energy from..and tequila. (Loved the West Hollywood Tequila dance that I used to do probably about 10 years ago now. Hate that I cried afterward because this dude named Ryan didn’t care about me. But loved that drag queen carried me home, like i was a Queen. Lol)

But yes, i’ve got a lot of things going on in work and it’s making me pretend that the little niggly things don’t matter. I don’t like the little niggly things. I leave them and they accumulate and then they terrify me because i’ve left myself a mountain to sort through. Like voicemails. I HATE going through my voicemails, unless they’re all ‘good news’ calls. My emails…this morning I had 79,329 to go through, that I had let accumulate. By noon, I had gone through them all…and now my inbox is chilling at 0. YEAH BABY! (This is why I’ve always said that I need to marry a really organised male, one that’s good at the niggly things. The things that demand organisation. Lol. The big things i can conquer with panache and glamourousity. I’m ace at the big things. I’ve been married three time and people always always message me asking me about my love life. The most common question from women, that I receive weekly is one that asks me if i would ever marry again. And GOD, ABSOLUTELY. But only if the guy was RIGHT! I’m not just gonna high kick gleefully down the isle to anyone. Lol. (I’ve done that before. 😉 )

I believe in love (i’m a sucker for it) and yeah, I’ve shared some interesting chapters, that didn’t quite fit. Yet it doesn’t EVER make me feel as though I couldn’t do it again. The great thing is, this time, i’ll get it right. I’m not someone who doesn’t KNOW what I want or what i’m looking or. That’s sexy in itself. I tend to learn the hard way, which to me, is always the BEST way. Nothing like a bit of good old raw experience. Beats the ‘Once Upon Time’ books.

(My good friend Inadequate Chris is just messaging. Remember weeks ago, before I did Ginos, i wrote a blog about his love life…well I was right. He has just waved ‘good bye’ to a 9 year relationship, that maybe wasn’t right anymore for both parties and well, it’s been tough, but he is happily moving forward. Y’see, to me, that 9 years was simply a young chapter and it’s what you do when you’re a grown up that makes impact, because as grown ups, we think wisely and know how to love properly. There’s a stability to us oldies. It great. It’s sexy. Nine years isn’t that long when you have a hopeful 100 years to do love in. Yes, we all hope to get it right the first time, but if you haven’t and in the past I haven’t….obviously….I’ve been hilarious and half of you have followed it through the decades. Do know that it’s right around the corner and that guy or that girl who makes you feel utterly COMPLETE…will find you and adore you…forever. )

But away from my preachy keeness, WUNNA LAND is WONDERFUL right now. I’m working hard, i’m making things happen, i’m feeling really lucky and really positive. All areas are fantastic. I even have to pinch myself to believe it’s true. It’s almost like a dysfunctional Cinderella Story. There’s a lot going on and yes, as always with work, i’m unable to wink it out there, until it’s time. However, it kinda feels like i’m BACK. (Well en route anyway, my Uber must have been delayed. 🙂 )

In sat in the Mallard in Doncaster blogging this…and two lesbians are talking about dildos infront of their children. Lol. I’m also looking at a picture of Jeremy Clarkson, because they have framed photos of people who grew up in Doncaster, who became stars…On and cycling is on the telly.

I’m off now to do a prosecco and buy hair.

FILL UP ON GOOD TIMES….

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m headed to Social Chain today :)

Wake up! It’s Monday! HURRAH.

Congrats to those of you who took the time to be bothered to get up, get dressed and get your sexy selves to work. You deserve boobie winks for that. (Have no clue what they are?) Bottom line…Without self motivation, you don’t have shit. Well done!

THIS MONDAY, I am the MOST EXCITED that I could EVER BE!! *Happy Dance here.*

And yes, I’m harping on about motivation, and getting a ‘move on,‘ HOWEVER i’m still sat in bra and knickers, with bouncy freshly rollered hair and a pink laptop on my knees….typing away. 🙂 But whatever, i’ve been up since six o clock doing my eye makeup and dressing the children for school. Lol. That alone is a days work.

The best thing about today, is that I DON’T have that shitty Monday morning feeling, I am bubbled over with ‘joie de vivre.’ I could even have a morning Mimosa and do *can can* kicks, if I could find the right music. 🙂 When things make you excited, you are on the right track. Everything is about how something makes you FEEL. Excitement…great feeling.

Today, I am headed to Manchester. I’m actually going to be in Manchester both Monday AND Tuesday, so i’ll be blowing *air kisses* to Yorkshire, as my train leaves the platform for now. I feel rested. I feel glammy…and yeah i’m feeling a bit chubby too, but i don’t care, as I’ve Skinny Tanned…so that helps right. 😉 Everyone is messaging me about wanting a waist trainer. Do it. Love it. Don’t have a ‘filth drawer,’ is my answer to you all. I mean what is sexier than CORSET TRAINING.

But cut all the crap…TODAY… I…. (yes, little glamour puss extraordinaire) HEAD DOWN TO SOCIAL CHAIN in Manchester! I KNOW! How exciting! I could *pop.* (As in ‘burst’ and not as in ‘sing you A1 tracks’ from the 90’s.)

Over the last couple months i’ve talked how much I LOVE Steve Bartlett and his Vlogs. He’s my favourite human. I send out that message ALL THE TIME. I’ve watch his Vlog develop. I’ve been hooked. I’ve watched them on appearances. I’ve watched them in bed. On the loo. I’ve made other people watch them in bars. Lol It’s the kind of Vlog,  (like this blog, ) that you accidentally discover…like treasure. You can come across it at any point of your life journey and when you do….you kinda get hooked and find yourself *tapping* into it all the time. The company & his merry self are pretty much on the route to stardom…

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They’ve been on the cover of The Times, filmed for HBO & Vice, Bartlett’s tinkered on a Power List…all sorts… I once Tweeted him, in my orange fox onesie and asked to head on down…(that sounds rude 🙂 ) ….He went with ‘yep,’ and well at 3pm, i’ll be tapping on their door.

This whole Steven Bartlett, Social Chain thing is popular, isn’t it? Everyone seems to be nattering about it. It seems sexy. It seems cool. I’ve actually known that I would be going now… for about a month… I’ve been listening to what people say about the Vlog, reading what they’re writing about it…and i’m smiling…as it’s clever, it’s fun…it’s pretty much a show. It IS a show.

I’m a massive fan of the of it all…the company, the people, the characters, the office…Steve….the slide…the bar…the dogs….their work….THE WHOLE KITTY SHABAM…..so my frillies are in an utter TWIST! I cannot wait!

‘Chrissie don’t wear that….you look like you’ve just walked onto the Vegas strip and not someones office…Lol.’

Mel: ‘Does he do rants? I’m sure I watched a Donald Trump rant on my newsfeed once and then nudged my friend and said that’s who Chrissie watches..’

I guess everything is like a sexy game of Chinese Whispers.

‘I wondered if they’ve actually read your blog’

‘Are you going out afterwards?’

‘The poor sods, don’t even know what they’ve let themselves in for!’

Basically, I’m *tapping* into THEIR world, THEIR Monday and TO ME, it’s so utterly SURREAL because what is MORE BIZARRE than watching a place and a bunch of people..literally every day, without them knowing…and then waking up one Monday morning and finding yourself *zapped* into that exact world. Crazy shit!

OOh! I’ve just got a message from Mel. She sent me a lovely one the other night, as I guess you’d never put us together as people who would end up being close friends…We’ve even shocked ourselves…Lol. But we’re ended up being close and I’ve found that we’re more similar than you’d think. But yes, she told me she ‘loved me.’ :) 🙂 Made me beam!

HAHAHAHAH! Wait!

This message is wishing me well for today and then all about blowjobs!

HAHAHAHA! I LOVE MEL.

Anyway…I’ll be Tweeting, Facebooking and Snapchatting everything and tomorrow there will be a big old blog on it all. So…keep up and add me to everything. Lol.

They’ve already made my Monday better…so hey….

Chick friend:

‘It can only go downhill from here..Hahahah!

WHAT A BITCH.

HAHAHAHA!

(That laugh was fake. 🙂 )

Ps: If you’re so behind on everything and don’t know what I’m talking about…Today you need to make it your mission to find out what Social Chain are…and who Steven Bartlett is….

Happy Monday! x

Cue: Alexandra…..

Men, Past Puddles & Work

Hiya! How’s Sunday going! I’ve been busy!

I can’t even tell you the whole shabam, if i tried. But i’ve worked hard, i’ve travelled, i’ve smashed ‘Bingo’ for booze, i’ve slotted in working with some huge brands that have decided to ‘dolly’ along with Wunna land, as apparently my words and face are a ‘good fit.’ 🙂 (It’s funny because if i do anything i ‘perform.’ But right now, i write about life, MY life..and important folk will tipper tapper at my door with opportunity, asking me to write a bit of this and jiggle a bit of that….which i adore because I find it easy…THEN they realize that i’m apparently aesthetically pleasing and a  bit of a ‘wonder’ when a camera is placed infront of me…THEN then realise that i have this ‘whip’ of a personality…and before you know it, i’m all signed, sealed, delivered and with bows on! It’s great! Life is good. By this time next year, i will have rinsed it. Lol.)

Over the last week, i’ve been ill, yet i’ve been everywhere and done everything. But mainly worked my kitty glitter socks off. I’ve had great moments with good friends and been understanding with people that might need to me see the world from their point of view, for the time being…which i’m good at. I’ve drank a lot of Prosecco. But i earnt it. And i’ve found the simple pleasures, like being Mum and typing the word ‘BOOBIES’ out on a calculator uplifting. (The kids and i have been closer than ever recently and it makes me smile because even though they’re five and three, everyone will tell you that it’s like they are fifteen and thirteen. They know SO much for being kids and i’m really not joking. I went to Parent’s Evening the other night and Ruby’s teacher, who told me that she was excelling beyond her years, said that he just couldn’t fault her because she was that much of a delight and that to be honest speaking to Ruby was like speaking to ‘an adult.’ Lol.  I mean, last night  when she went out to dinner with her Dad, she said she couldn’t WAIT to just get home, so she could ‘let loose and chill out with Mum.’ That made my heart smile. Not really for any proper reason, but just because It kinda made me feel as though I was doing a good job and when you’re a single mum, you collect those moments with pride. I’m having a funny moment with ‘The Dads’ right now as Keiran thinks Pete is trying to windle his way back into Wunna land and Keiran…well Keiran if he could, he would windle also. I however, have jumped over four fences, run a marathon, leap frogged over souls, danced under the stars and scissor kicked in heels and poll vaulted so far forward from those times, that there’s not looking back. I’m not one to  rewind, it’s pointless. I’m a forward mover, as i know how much life has to offer. I hate it when people, stay stuck, treading water in the mucky puddles of the past. I’m happy to have them in my life as Baby Daddies and respect them both. Yet, they can ‘windle’ all they wish..it won’t work. 🙂 )

What else did i want to tell you? So much has happened!

I have new friends moving to Leeds. I’m doing Pontefract, Leeds and Manchester right now, as a juggle. A Psychic told me that i would marry again. And i’m in a mode of fun, where in which i feel like i’ve worked so hard and done quite well, that even though it’s only the beginning, i deserve to ‘fun’ the rest of the year out. If you don’t have balance you don’t have anything. Plus, it’s my birthday in a month.

I was also told by one of my guy friends who knows me pretty well that i’m too daunting for a man to want to date me? To the point where in which a guy will like me, but shit himself because he’ll think that i’m not a safe bet, as i’ll one day i’ll leave him or rocket off with some amazing future career and he wouldn’t be able to sustain me?

Eh?

Am I? I’m not! I may seem daunting to the gents who don’t actually know me in real life. The ones that follow a stream of selfies, Facebook news feeds, a Google search or a blog. Yet, in real life…when there’s just me in my skin and bones, and a smile, and i’m right in front of you…i don’t reckon i’m that daunting at all. In fact, i’m ace when it comes to love. You couldn’t have a better team mate, to do life with and i’m confident of that. I’m quite a loyal, calm, stable romantic, who’s dipped in a sense of adventure. I’m fun. I’m stable and loyal because i hate uncertainty. But i value love and like i said, i’m never really worried, as the right guy will know i’m his soulmate…because he’ll feel it and he’ll not be bothered about the ‘what ifs,’ the ‘buts’ or the fear. It won’t be in his nature and i know that. He’ll take the time to get to know me, until he feels all comfy, as at first it’s always weird…and once he’s comfy…he’ll know and he’ll go for it, with his best shoes on and his quiff as high as the sky. Lol.

‘There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words, and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand you without you even having to speak a word.’ 

Away from all that, i’ve put the Christmas tree up and whatever i’m not about hearing the ‘it’s too early’ bullshit. It’s never to early to embrace the merriment. It’s fucking Christmas. Get with it. If i want the tree up and to guzzle Bailey’s, I WILL and if anyone tells you that this time of mulled wine and Bailey’s is bad for you, cut them out, you don’t need that kinda negativity in your life. You need support and like minded fun others. Lol. Fyi, I’m going to look AMAZING during the Christmas season, as i have bought was astonishing sexerilla outfits for the art of cocktailing!

Ps/ I was watching Xfactor last night and i’m loving it. I don’t watch it all, but i only watch it for ‘Five After Midnight’ and ‘Honey G.’ I adore ‘Five After Midnight’ as like Schery says, when they perform it just does something to me and i get all giddy and delighted. 🙂 To me they’re amazing. So they’re my WINNERS. Fingers crossed. I could watch them for days. And ‘Honey G’…i just find her funny…so when there’s laughter, there’s always my support. So last night, after the boys performed i Tweeted my adoration for them and straight after they got off stage they retweeted it and my favourite one followed me. I loved it as for the first time, i felt like a proper fan. Hahaha. It made me feel really good! So from now on, when people send me adoration and Tweets, i’ve decided to show them some utter love back, rather than ignore them lol (i’m so polite) as it really does make you feel good.

 

 

 

 

Hairdos and Gorillas

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I literally woke up at the crack of dawn to rush out and purchase cocktails for my Vlog this morning. Lord knows what the Marks & Spencers counter girls thought, Lol…(it reminds me of when Jenna and I went to London and bought tons of booze for the hotel room at around 9am.) However, luckily, the rest of my cocktaily Vlog material was purchased from my local supermarket, ‘The Co op’ in Ackworth….and well they’ve probably expect it of me.

During my morning errand run, (Some people need to buy stamps. I need to purchase a ‘Harvey Wallbanger’ in a can….) Ben found himself all alone in the house, without a Wunna to tend to him. 🙂 He requested a Monster energy drink, because he needed a ‘pick me up’ due to a case of the ‘maybe flu,’ to which I immediately text back with a ‘that’s not on your diet!!’

And this was his reply 🙂 ….

Men! They get a cold and it’s like the world has ended. 🙂 Now, I get that he’s run down and totally snuffly when he wakes up..and I understand that men adore to be babied. But everyone right now has a runny nose…and when I do…I ace it like a champion…meaning unfortunately for him…I make him tooo. Hurrah! 🙂 (I bought him the Monster. Ah well…i’m soft.)

Once I got home, it was time to get ready for my Vlog. Today i’m filming my Top Five, cocktails in a can. 🙂 I’ve cocktailed a lot in my life and have now, along my journey become a ‘cocktail in a can’ connoisseur. (Such a talent, i know. 🙂 ) So, today i’m sharing my faves with you, meaning that you too can join in the merriness, without ever having to purchase a dodgy tasting canned cocktail. Yipppeee! (I’m in Neon…it itches.)

Whilst, I was getting ready for my rant…I go to give Benny a little ‘get well’ cuddle…and what do I see in his Google search bar. Nope, not porn…not the best hotels for Valentines :)…BUT THIS..’how heavy is king kong.’ LMAO

Whaaaat???

This is what the man of my dreams is Googling. Lol. He spent part of his day Googling how heavy a giant gorilla is? Hahaha. (In his defense, it is actually proper research, but he’s turned proper geeky about it now and has calculated how fast King Kong would’ve ran, during that time? *Weeing myself.*)

So yeah, whilst he’s being all geeky, informative and intellectual, i’ve been upstairs doing my hair. 🙂

Couples are couples…and right now, I couldn’t love him any more. (How adorable.) Lol.