Kitty Cafe, Singles & Humming Birds

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Woke up at 7 o clock this morning and Googled ‘Humming Birds,’ for no other reason than the fact that I thought they were pretty. Lol. That’s the depth of my 7am mind. I had a psychic read for me last night, then did my Breethe meditation app, so I could sleep peacefully, without random, yet jolly nightmares…

After my morning ‘Humming bird’ Google search, I then Googled Love Islanders, to see how much ‘dollar’ they were all making since leaving the villa. They’re smashing aren’t they! It makes me happy to see all folk doing well…and at the same time JEALOUS. Yet, everyone gets their time, so hopefully I’ll get mine soon. Lol (Or, I’ll just shrivel away happily and drink rum in an old people’s home..with a cat that I’ll probably name ‘Gucci.’)

I got a question the other day on my Insta, saying…

‘If you fancy a guy and blog about it, surely he would know who it is?’

Well, yeah. Obviously. I’m not shy. If I fancy someone, I don’t fear that they may know? Lol. I’m 37, not 17. So, if they were to read my blog, even though their name would be disguised as an alias, they’d obviously know if it was them, as they would’ve shared that moment, memory or story with me, at some point.

Everyone who’s an alias on this blog, KNOWS who they are. They will have lived the tale, with me…in Wunna Land. So, in a way, not only will they get to relive the memory…via this blog, yet that particular moment goes down in Cyberland history.

It’s Magical. Like Paul Daniels.

Sophie AF: ‘Your blog’s, like one of those things that will come alive and go down in history, when you die…because you will have documented your whole existence…’

Me: ‘Cheers… I’m ready to shuffle off yet, bitch.’

The ‘Singles Night’ at The Kitty Cafe, Leeds, in now booking up fast. I actually can’t wait, because I haven’t  been to a ‘Singles Night’ in ages. I’m really excited.

(The last time I did a ‘Singles Night’ was in Sheffield, years ago… on a PA, after coming off the Hilton show…I was so drunk and it was in a club…and I remember being stood on some stage, as people cheered and slutty looking dancers held me up, after dancing on podiums in pink fur. It took me an entire day to recover and no..I didn’t find true love. Hahah. Instead I died in bed at Ollie & Becky Hayes’ home…who were (at the time) radio presenters for Hallam FM. Becky was SO good at looking after me…She ran be a bath, brought me fruit and everything.)

Do know that my favourite hangover cures are either BLOODY MARY, or a SLUSH.

But back to Kitty Cafe…

Even if I don’t meet the man of my dreams that night, I can still stroke kittens…which will calm me. (Shit, I really hot guy has just sauntered into the bar at sat on the table opposite me. I’m doing the ‘pretend I haven’t seen him’ face, because my pulling technique is obviously champion.)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa

Anyway…The Kitty Cafe, sound great because it seems so city trendy, which is exactly my forte…

So, if you haven’t booked in yet, email them pronto (info@kittycafe.co.uk) and save your spot. Bookings have apparently been mental. I can’t wait to meet everyone. Sept 21st.

Promo done!! 😉 

Lucy McLockett: ‘That place is a danger zone for you Wuns. I just read in the paper, that they’re applying for a marriage license there…Don’t be in a place with single men, where the can actually MARRY YOU.’

Me: ‘Fourth time lucky! Always a bride, never a bridesmaid. At least they’ll be kittens, right? Lol’

What else?

Things are really fun and I’m having a great time with the kids. They’re literally my world…and I’m loving every inch of them. Work is a plenty. I’m still influencing many a hotel, restaurant and bar, like my glamourous little life depends on it. (And it does. Haha.)

Book me. Hire Me. Me! Me! Me!

When it comes to love, I’m still single, but concentrating on work. Everything feels so right, at present, that I don’t really need to change it. I still fancy ‘The Swirl,’ but he’s a million miles away, doing his own thing, probably not thinking about me at all. Yet, I want him to have moments where he *pauses* and thinks..

‘What the fuck happened to Wunna? I miss her.’

(If not…Lol…shit happens.)

However, the great thing is, I have a whole lot of time to just conquer a bit of Wunna Land and smash it about. I’m quite a determined little chica. I’m ambitious aren’t I. So, I don’t want to wiggle off this Earth ball one day and not have achieved all that I wanted to.

It means a lot to me…

I’m not a plodder. I’m not someone who doesn’t get juiced off achieving goals, inspiring, smashing dreams and winning! I know how to have a good time and laugh shit off. But I’m there in the moment..I’m alive……I’ve always got my eye on the prize…(even when i’m in my ‘what are those’ leopard print flip flops.) 

Don’t hate!

Take note…

When it comes to men, I don’t like the day in and day out… ‘plodders.‘ I like those that have dreams, or those who have fought hard to live their dream. I find them inspirational and that to me, (along with a whole bunch of other stuff,) is sexy.

Right, I’m done now…This blog has gone on far too long! I’ve rambled.

You can make anything happen. Believe it. Attract it. Make everything you love YOURS!

Chrissie… x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Me To Spain & Ronaldo Beach Towels

Happy Wednesday, my gorgeous whips of lick festival! That’s it. I’m on holiday mode. I’m feeling the chicas and shaking the maracas and booty grinding to my mirror image, to any ‘holiday memory’ song that will have me.

I’ve worked so so hard this year and in fact all of last year…I’ve worked so hard… I could die. I’ve jiggled and juggled and mummied and selfied. I’ve wiggled and waddled and written every piece of my life out for my own settle of mind and for your own delicious entertainment. There’s been great times, hard times…jollies and stress…Right now, I don’t care….Get me to Spain. I fly tomorrow morning.

I AM NOT IN PANTS. SAFETY LAST!

In fact, if i’m being honest, i’m currently sat up in bed blogging and feeling ridiculously IMPRESSED, with how WELL my tan has developed from last night. Yes, I know I’m Asian and already tanned. Yet, before a bit of ‘bikini’ and because i’m a bit of a Glamour Puss…

*Flashback* Guy: ‘Everyone wants a shot at the glamour puss.’

…I do like a quick fake over, to make my tan McJuicy. I used the Model Co, ‘One Hour Tan Mousse’…

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and I’m always really skeptical about fake tans, because I always figure they’re just gonna wash completely off and not be dark enough for me. But i’ve woken up impressed. So GET ME TO SPAIN NOW.

I couldn’t sleep all night. I don’t know why? I’ve flown a lot, but I don’t like flying and airports stress me out. I was up at 4am stroking ‘Rocco’ my kitten (that sounds rude..it wasn’t that fun….that ‘stroke’ was yesterday 😉 ) and did what I normally do, when I can’t sleep and that is..

GOOGLE EVERYTHING. (Apart from myself. I hate doing that because all the pictures are really old and cringe.)

So, on my Google agenda at 4am, was every celebrity…’on the beach.’ Lol. (Yes, I am that sad. Some people Google ‘World Peace,’ I Google ‘beach bodies‘ and I’m okay with that.)

I went with ‘The Kardashians’ obviously, as they calm my soul in bikinis at 4am, when i’m stressed. I even watched an Oprah interview with them all.

Then I don’t know how I got onto it….(I Googled it 😉 )….But I ended up with ‘Cristiano Ronaldo on the beach’ shots. Lol. AGAIN, what a good find at 4am in the morning….It was SO good that I may have become moderately obsessed with his beach shots. I found myself rating his ‘old school’ look, against his ‘new school’ look.

HAHAHAHA. Why am I a tool?

This is why I need to sleep. This is why I need to grow up. This is why my 7 year old daughter Ruby says,

‘Why does everyone else at school have a normal Mum and I have one that’s like a teenager. You’re like a child.’

The most hilarious part of this Google search was that I ended up at this…

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The Cristiano Ronaldo beach towel on ebay. Lol. It could be yours for the bargain price of 30 quid. So I did what any normal girl would do…(no, I didn’t buy it…which reminds me I haven’t packed a towel for my holiday yet,) Instead, I *screenshot* it and Snapchatted it to my girl bestie ‘Firmonnell’ who I was messaging last night, with a caption that read…

‘Nothing makes me happier than this towel… Happy Morning!’

The good thing about ‘Firmonnell’ is that she knows I’m an absolute plank, and will just go with it anyway. (Probs because I can get us free cocktails.) And she replied this morning with simple ‘laughy face’ emojis….meaning..

I MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. (And that like any other normal human being, she can’t be arsed to type before 7am.)

I’m an early bird, so even if I CAN sleep, i’m still up at the crack of dawn. I like to get the most out of my day. Like, I honestly don’t know how people ‘sleep in‘ until noon and slob about eating bacon sarnies, whilst trumping, wondering where life has gone.

Am I in Spain yet? No? Okay cool…

Right, technically, I should take this moment and I do want to take this moment to…

THANK EVERY SINGLE HUMAN AND OR COMPANY…

..That has send me a treat for my holidays. I have been inundated with gifts, products, services and from brands all over the land…and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. I really, truly appreciate it and I can’t believe how lucky I am. You’ve made me feel really special and in return, I’ll blog, picture and snap the ‘jollies’ out of your products, whilst I’m away. Thank you ever so much. Honestly…I will make sure that they are all over my ‘socials’ throughout my time in Spain.

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Here are a couple of my treats from companies Mirror Image Style (mirrorimagestyle.co.uk) and @Mishmashfashionuk (mishmashfashion.co.uk) 

Thank you so much. I’ve tried them all on and they are divine. In total I have 22 bikinis….and you’ll all be rocking this blog and my socials shortly. I’m gonna look ‘Queen’ because of you.

I’ve literally spent the last entire week in bikini fitting, after bikini fitting. Followed by hair piece fitting, after hair piece fitting….It’s been crackers. Yet, I appreciate it all. I feel so lucky. (It makes an old bird smile. 😉 ) 

I also want to thank ‘Pitstop Rentals, Leeds’ (they’re actually everywhere, all over the North, not just in Leeds) which is a LUXURY/PRESTIGE super car rental and chauffeuring service. I love them so madly and well they will ‘new whipping’ my arse to the airport.

But you’ll all see pictures of everything…as I’ll be placing them everywhere. Make sure you’re following my ‘social’s and stories.’

The diets been going well…I’m still Herbalifing and i’m on Week 4. My body’s changed quite a lot and i’m enjoying feeling a little bit more in shape…and at 37 with two babies…who flipping doesn’t. It’s given me a new lease of life. It made me feel really great! So, i’m certainly doing better for it. I did have someone ‘hate’ on me for doing it, yet mainly because they wanted to indirectly promote their own  fitness/nutrition brand all over my wall….

I’ll tell you now. The best way to promote something, is not to ‘hate’ on something or someone else, and place it all over a seemingly popular persons wall to gain audience. As soon as you do. I’m not interested. And I understand that it wasn’t the brand itself, it was someone trying to promote the brand…Yet, they properly went about it, the absolute wrong way. I mean, they even ‘hated’ on the person or people who introduced me to such….and you don’t even know who that was?

I’m a glamour puss. We’re not rude around here. We’re real…in diamonds. Let’s play bouji.

Bottom line, the reason why I decided to initially Herbalife was  simply because I saw a body transformation selfie on the Insta profile of a really good friend of mine. He looked amazing. In fact really great. I was personally really impressed….I was SO impressed that it INSPIRED me to want to get back into shape and start feeling extra great.

I spoke to that person…and they helped point me in the right direction…that’s how I ended up here.

Life works via word of mouth, or by the way you choose to cultivate a rapport, with someone. They didn’t ‘hate’ on my wall to promote something because they didn’t have to. They’re classier than that. Instead they showed their own result…which celebrates an achievement..which ended up with ME *tapping* on their door with a ‘help me.’ By all means, mention someone and be lovely about them…Everyone adores that….Yet, just do things correctly….It’s classy and sassy baby boo.

SIMPLES….

It’s funny because I always say, that everything in life, is all about how something makes you FEEL. Nothing more… nothing less.

We react to how the littlest or even biggest things MAKE US FEEL and the only things that can truly make us FEEL, are other things that can FEEL also.

A bit of a preach there for you. 😉 I’m not saying lets all be kind to one another and wear party hats, whilst we sway to boyband love songs. That’s not human nature. We’re all different.

What I AM saying, is let’s be flipping REAL here, instead of dickheads.. Bottom line, don’t hate on another brand on my wall, simply to promote your own. 😉 It is definitely bad manners.

Hahah. I’m over it now. Life was better when I was Googling Ronaldo beach towels at 4am.

I love life. I adore experience. To me, it’s what life is about. And yeah I’ve done some really outrageous things, during my existence so far, that have placed me in really sticky situations. (But I definitely blame the boogie and Hollywood for them. A tremendously surreal place to grow into an adult.)  I’ve always been a ballsy one, a life liver, a wild one, who is never afraid to ‘DO ME.’ And yes, i’ve definitely mellowed out at 37, when it comes to the wild antics, yet not when it comes to TRUE SPIRIT. I’ll always do what i love and what I want. And I never feel like I want or need to explain or justify them…as I’m living my own version of life.

When life dishes out crazy bad/exciting times, and you get caught up with the fine art of mistake making… (I did this a lot in my 20’s and I am proud to say that I haven’t mistake made in YEARS now..) to me it’s all about the LESSONS YOU LEARN. And if a real lesson HAS been learnt, than I am pretty fine with having that experience. I don’t worry about how I got here. I concentrate on where i’m at now….

Everything happens the way it’s supposed to…and we always find out why in the end…

GET ME TO SPAIN!

Here’s a tune to put you in my Holiday mood. (I did all my fittings to this yesterday, as the children made Zebra’s, which Junior still thinks is a Giraffe out of random Wunna Land. Arts & Crafts bits.)

I might not have chance to blog before I land on Spanish soil tomorrow afternoon…So please do follow my ‘Socials’ and Stories.

Love you lots,

Chrissie x


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kittens, Selfies, Success & Crotches….

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This time last year, on this day, the majority of people who found their way to CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM had Google Searched the word ‘CROTCHES.

Yes…you Googled ‘Crotches’ and Google, lead you to my diary. Lol. I thought I was so ‘Sex And The City’ but I was a gusset.

That was the top search of the day, that led traffic to Wunna Land.

Now, I’m not complaining, why would I, it’s great…I have a crotch and I love my crotch…BUT WHO THE HELL Googles the word ‘Crotches?’ 

It’s not big, it’s not clever (well some are 😉.)  It’s just not glamourous, is it? Nor is it normal. So, please let me save your soul. Please do not don’t let your stalky partner find it on your Google History.

Even ‘Wallabies’ or ‘Budget Porn’ is better than that!

I’d tell you what the last 4 things I Googled were, if they weren’t so embarrassing. Balls to it. I’ll tell you anyway….

The first TWO are my own name…and I’m not embarrassed about that. I’m ace! Plus, I don’t do it as often anymore. I don’t care as much. Today I cared because I needed to specifically check something. I’m healed.

Praise the Lord.

The next is the name of the boy that I fancy. (I think it’s normal. You may think it’s moderately stalky. He ma think it’s moderately stalky. But, you all do it. Shut up! Haha!) If someone likes you, they like ever bit of you…they take the good with the bad.

And the final thing on my Google Search History is the name of a TV show that I’m hoping to show up on…

Crotches…

Is not on my list….(Ruder things have been though.)

However, and of course, a year has passed and the NUMBER ONE words SEARCHED…and placed into Google to find CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM are…

 ‘CHRISSIE WUNNA.’

BOOM! SHAKE YA CROTCHES!

I’m done with that…

Today’s been great. Life is wonderful. I’m the luckiest girl in all the world. I say it all the time. But I mean it. I can’t believe how fortunate I feel. I’ve worked. I’ve selfied. I’ve sorted out my socials and I had two auditions for shows today. I have one tomorrow late afternoon.

Today’s went well …and either way, i just really enjoyed doing them. I LOVE AUDITIONING. I love blogging. And that’s now my life. I’m lucky that I get to do what I love.

If I could say anything and I hate advice giving….But I’m so passionate about this how living life thing, aren’t I!

To me, it’s important that you take the necessary risks to get to your ‘happy place.’ What’s the point to muddling along or feeling unfulfilled? So many people ‘slow paddle’ in the mundane. It’s dull.

Yeah, you might be scared. Yeah you might fail. But in the words of Will Smith…(who is every girl’s crush)…

’You’ve got to feel failure, more failure and more failure, to order to WIN IN THE END.’

Like they always say, ‘COMFORT ZONES’ are beautiful places..but NOTHING EVER GROWS THERE. It’s dead land.

But don’t panic. You’re gonna be fine. Especially, if you’re a guy. I think it’s a GIRLS WORLD right now…and that is gonna continue to GROW. It makes guys panic, as they’re under pressure to make sure they can support their families, love their wives, pay for the world and back, make their mark on the success ladder, grow old, but still look handsome. I guess, the same things as women go through…I take that back. It’s what all humans go through. We all feel pressure at times and we shouldn’t.

What happens, happens.

So make you dreams come true. You can do it. Everything you want to achieve… You CAN ACHIEVE IT. Someone, somewhere in the world has already managed to do it. You’ve got ONE LIFE, with a hopeful 100 years to do whatever you so wish.

People start everywhere. I mean GOD, Brad Pitt used to be the ‘Clucky Chicken’ Mascot that stood outside El Pollo Loco’ (which is like the US KFC.’) Jack Nicholson said he heard SIX HUNDRED ‘NO THANK YOU’S’ before he got his first ‘Yes.’

You’re never too old. You’re never too young. You’re ready when your ‘lion heart’ is juiced. And you’ve got to be ready, because if you’re not…you’re gonna get out ‘juiced’ by idiots like me. I’ll juice you all about. 🙂

YIPPPEEE!

But honestly,  Life will throw you a bone, when you show a bit of heart. Trust me. And then you’ll hear stories from all sorts of people, some you know personally, some you don’t.. who wish and wonder how you did it, how you did your version of ‘success’…and it’s simply because you at least TRIED..which was something they never dare do!

God. I’ve got all preachy. My pants probably have Oprah’s face printed on them, right now.

Anyway…

Today…I bumped into my old school friend Kate. She’s hilarious. She found me and hugged me from behind. I jumped with a silent…

‘WHO THE HELL IS TOUCHING ME. DON’T TOUCH ME!’ 🙂

We pissed ourselves laughing and then I kinda noticed that she was in pretty good ‘workout’ shape. She was all thin and buff and in gym wear, at the school pick up. I was in a fluffy white faux fur and knee high boots. We both actually went to that school, and are associated with children who school there now. We didn’t just kick it there for a laugh. (Just so you know. Lol)

Kate: ‘Time off…?’

Me: ‘You look amazing…’

Kate: ‘Yeah, all I do is go to the gym now. I look amazing. Eli’s falling to pieces, but HEY I LOOK FANTASTIC! LOL.’

(Eli, is her son. I love Kate. You can always count on banter and her loyalty when you need it most!)

Anyway…

Thank you for all my SCREENSAVERS SHOTS! The competition went well…And as I said, all of those who sent me a SCREENSHOT will receive a personalised pic from me…as a THANK YOU. (I’m a little concerned that you’re just looking at the pictures and not reading the WORDS. Lol)

I said, that I’d announce a WINNER picked at RANDOM, by a Wunna Land…and that winner will not only receive a personalised picture from me this weekend, but will also receive a VIDEO MESSAGE….(One person has already been contacted in regards to winning a video message for being the FIRST PERSON to send in a ‘Wunna is my Screen saver’ screenshot. I can’t believe how well that competiton actually went. Lol)

But yes, the winner of the Video Message sent in THIS screensaver…

AND we like him because he follows me on everything, reads this blog daily….and comments on EVERYTHING. You deserve a video message. That’s what I want, I need the word spreading…

So well done! And thank you to everyone who made me their screen saver…I loaded a bunch of them up on my ‘socials’….You’ll all get  personalised pics, this weekend.

Therefore, as I rest and curl up with my kitten ‘Rocco….’

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I’ll wish you the most wonderful evening and I’ll fill it with ‘winks’ and love.

Thank you so much for peeking in my diary…

All my heart…

Chrissie x

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