Happy Friday Feeling EVERYONE! You made it, you delicious treats of ‘ooh laa.’ I hope you can feel the excitement jiggling and I hope you embrace every inch of your own kinda weekend bliss!
You deserve it. We all do.
I LOVE FRIDAYS!
(It just always seems like an achievement. Y’Know one where you can either stick on ya nipple tassles or pull on a jumper, in celebration…Yet still know everything is going to be okay. Well, for the next couple days anyhow. Lol)
Thank you for taking a moment, to click and find yourself here.
It means the world to me. You’re sexy and have excellent taste in bloggers.
Hurrah! Porn star martini’s for everyone!
No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re planning your outfit for a weekend of debauchery, running around after kids, pouring 40 wines, keeping your fingers crossed that ‘date night’ goes ahead, working, or working ‘it,’ crying into a gin, swearing because your friends have let you down, or simply taking advantage of a big old chill, where doing nothing at all, is your comfort…..
KNOW that tonight, you have The Wunna land ‘magic’ by your side and I wish you ALL the best, you kittens.
(Don’t get into trouble though, because knowing my luck, i’ve sprinkled you with the ‘take it too far,’ fun bug. I always intend for calm, but get myself into some kind of accidental predicament and live a morning of ‘post cocktail’ regret. Once I took my friend out in LA, and sold him for chewing gum. Then I got a call from my other friend, you id managed to lose, who woke up having accidentally changed his sexual preference, for the night. 🙂 )
‘Post Cocktail’ regret is always the worst kind of regret. Drink steady. Live large.
Oh fuck it. Do whatever. I’m starting to sound like Mother Mary. I’m sending MYSELF to sleep.
Okay, so i’m a bit bored and i’m on the hunt for excitement. This is always dangerous for me. But i’m having to ‘wait’ on something, which will cause excitement and to be far, i’ve been pretty patient, to say i’m not at all, a very patient person at all.
I get bored VERY easily.
I had a guy (well friend of mine) moan because I’m apparently ‘the sexiest woman he’s ever seen,’ yet he couldn’t even think of dating me because i live too far away. (I’m an hour’s train journey away. Lol Which to me, isn’t that far?)
So already, if a guy is concerned over a small journey, then the chemistry, or pull isn’t strong enough for him…which is a sexy lil’ shame because he hot. ( I know people who lived in different flipping countries, who dated…and two of them are now married.)
Chemistry always overrides distance, if it’s real, right?
But that’s that story. It feels like ages ago now.
Then I stalked ‘Runnings’ on Instagram, who i’d been following anyway…because I adored his story. I’d watched him have a ‘happy’ moment on tv one night and it made me smile. I openly told everyone that I woke up at 3am and decided to stalk profiles. His was the best kinda stalk. Lol
Being me, I tagged him in it, so he knew!
Anyway, he ‘thanked me‘ (because he’s kind) and when I went in with comedy and sass, he replied with laughter and a…
‘My only questions is why it took you so long to Instastalk? I did my stalking ages ago!’
SMOOTH! I like it!
So we’ve had brief banter and he’s concerned that he may smell like brocolli, yet quickly assured me he was made of chocolate?
I like both, so either way’s a win for me. Haha.
He’s meeting me in Vegas at six o clock in the morning, one time, at the chapel for the wedding…which will be our first date.
I’m good at weddings in Vegas (lol,) so i’m sure i’ll smash it.
Then he said..
‘Well, we’ll see if our stars align and we bump into one another…’
Is that romantic, or a blow off? Haha. I’m so out the loop, I can’t tell?
But he followed it up with asking my permission to ‘physically pick me up, if our stars do align.’
He’s built like some kind of GOD. So hey, why not give the lil’ Asian a ‘lift up.’
I’d be like an angry, sarcastic chihuahua. He’ll love having a pet.
(Oh,shit! That sounds rude! can make anything sounds naughty!)
Yesterday morning, I managed to catch up with a friend of mine ‘Sailor B.’ It felt like I hadn’t seen him in ages, so it was really really good, to see him, walk passed a window, spot me and beam.
I like making people happy.
We chatted over morning wine and caught up…and the thing I like about ‘Sailor B’ is that he’s so easy to get on with. We’ve become good friend. He’s hard, but he’s soft all at the same time. Lost and found. Just a little bit of everything really… He’s honest…WELL…with me, he’s honest.
It was good morning….
But I just had a niggly feeling in the back of my mind, that something wasn’t okay…?
Something wasn’t sitting well with me?
We said ‘bye’ before lunch time., so we could get on with life…This was after we chatted to my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell,’ (who has used her Friday to pour wine on shit.)
YET…I STILL HAVE that ‘niggly’ feeling with me. I still have it now?
I’m looking for love. After a lifetime of lust, life, fun, dates, mistakes, love, true love, marriage, divorce, flings, happiness and heartache…I’m still here, stood tall, (I’m only 5 ft 3,) with a smile on my face, telling you, that I’m excited for what Cupid might have in store for me in the future…
Cupid and I have not been mates. Lol.
We’ve been on a journey. Yet, the thing about ups, downs and journey’s is that in the end, you buddy up. You ‘buddy up’ because, even though you chose a bumpy path and disagreed all the way through it, you tackled the ‘bumpiness’ together. It brings you closer, than you expected.
Only good can come from a bit of ‘bumpiness.’
Therefore, my faith is Cupid is always close.
One day, he’ll *wink* and shoot an arrow straight through, with my ‘soulmate’ as his target. 😉
ALWAYS BELIEVE IN LOVE.
Always, BELIEVE in love.
At the end of the day, my love life may not read ‘paper perfect,’ but it’s real. It’s my story My fairytale. I’ve learnt everything the hard way, but LEARNING and discovering IS everything.
Today, I asked you, to ask ME questions about love, dating and relationships, on my Insta Story…and let me tell you, i’ve adored every single second of it. I actually couldn’t appreciate it more and with 47 more questions, still waiting to be answered, as I blog this ‘sassy bit of wordy‘ from a wine bar, I wanted to let you know that you’re making me feel ALIVE. 😉
The love part of our lives, is such a BIG part isn’t it. Even when we push it back to the very far parts of our mind and or fold it into a box for storage, it’s still a HUGE part of our lives always. It’s all we have. Life itself and the love we embrace within our time.
A really successful guy…Well… You’ll know him on here for being ‘The Swirl.’ I remember being sat on an Ipswich sofa with him one time and he uttered the words…
‘I guess, i’m going to be alone forever…’
I don’t know why I remember it? But I do. That’s the opposite to what I want. I mean, I’m independent. I’m cheeky. I’m sassy. I don’t want to compromise my heart. I’d rather be a happy singleton than be with the wrong guy.
YET, I’d hate to be alone forever. I’d hate to not have a best friend to share my life with, in the end.
I mean, i’d be alright. But it wouldn’t be my favourite.
Chick friend: ‘Chrissie, guys aren’t going to use you for sex forever. One day, some guy is gonna look at you, with fresh puppy dog eyes and know that if he didn’t have you by his side for a lifetime, he’d be foolish.’
Me: ‘It’s not about the use me for sex thing. I’m a big girl. I love sex. I just can’t seem to find Mr.Right anywhere. Or the guys that I usually have down as potential Mr. Rights, don’t give a shit.’
So, this is what i’m looking for….
I am looking for a thoughtful, romantic, sexy, loving gentleman, who is fun, naughty, a bit cheeky and real. I want him to be my best friend. I want us to do lots together. Discover life together. LIVE. Adore each other. Have lots of hot sex everywhere. Haha.
It honestly can’t be that hard!!! Lol.
Why am I finding it SO difficult?
Chick friend: ‘You’re ambitious in the guy stakes. You know what you want and you go for it. In that time, no one measures up to what you’re going for.’
But like I said today, i’m a confident girl, so I have no problem letting a guy know I fancy him. Men need a ‘green light’ as I call it. I grew up in LA and in LA, the girls are brimming with confidence. It’s a sexy trait,
However, I will ‘green light’ and ‘bat the ball’ into their court and it’s up to them, from that point onward. I leave it to them, because nothing is less sexy, than having to chase a guy.
I enjoy it when they chase, it makes me feel like a woman.
They can choose to leave it, or chase it…
That way, it gives both parties, the power. It’s equal.
What I wanted to say today, was to ensure all you other singletons, be you young, old, rich or poor…whatever walk f life you’v elived or come from….
It’s going to be okay.
Don’t stress. Just enjoy.
I mean, I know so many people who take on new love excitement with doubt and fear.
What could be worse!
Life shows you someone fanciable. You like them…but then you think of 101 reasons as to why, it can’t or won’t work.
It’s foolish of you.
I know, from 37 years so far, that in life, in love…
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
Be brave. Take it a day at a time. At your own pace…AND JUST FUCKING EMBRACE AND ENJOY IT.
If i can still stand here with all the hope in my heart, as happy as can be, after everything i’ve been through, all over the world…(my hearts broken in almost every continent, lol) then you can tooooo!
No one’s gonna fancy ya if ya miserable.
Cheer up. Flow with the punches..and just let life magic, take it’s course.
I believe in fate, magic and life….
For some reason, I haven’t meant to meet ‘my forever’ just yet, but I will and when i do, after everything that’s tinkered my way in life…this time, i’ll be ready. 😉
Morning, my delicious Tricka Boos. So much is a going on, I feel like i’m ‘jiving’ along, at the speed of light, and whizzing past minutes, hours and days, on a tank that may read ‘empty.’ I’m having a blast. But i’ve got a lot of niggly bits on my mind and when you have ‘niggly bits’, you don’t really sleep to well, or rest too peacefully, do you?
Instead, you kinda ‘niggle,’ and that is my problem.
I’ve been up since 4am. Got home early, yet didn’t sleep until late.
Last night was magical, I celebrated the Burmese Lighting Festival, with Buddhist monks, in darkness, surrounded by only candlelit tea lights, fairy lights and draping oriental lanterns. It was beautiful and I had never felt more at peace…even in the cold and I hate the cold. Two hours before that, I was picking out the Wunna Land Christmas Tree theme, with Flamingo baubles in my hands.
My life is just NUTS.
If you know me personally, you’ll know that one of my favourite things is candlelight, and dancing flames. There’s a sexy energy that I feel, when i’m swirling by fire. But I’m a Sagittarius girl, which makes me a fire sign anyway. I guess that completely confirms, WHY I feel so at ease and comfortable around a naked flame.
It’s just the kinda stars I was born under, Boo. 😉
I was definitely tragic, because I did try to get a selfie with one of the monks, but I daren’t ask him, so I had to sly one off. Haha. He would’ve actually done it. He was doing the with people. But fear got the better of me. Haha. I bottled it and hid by a fairy lit tree. I opted for doing that thing where you pretend you’re taking a selfie of YOURSELF, when you secretly have THEM, in the background. Haha. I’m such a loser.
I am REALLY BUSY right now and the kids are also on Half Term, which makes everything that little bit more ‘juicy.’ This is where being a single mum is SO HARD. It’s like trying to hold up your gin, in a rubber dingy, in a giant storm, whilst your lost at sea.
I’ve lunched I’ve dined, I’ve spun in playgrounds. I’ve cocktailed, I’ve influenced, i’ve worked, i’ve shot, I’ve been Mum, i’ve travelled, I’ve hit deadlines and schedules, I’ve loved, I’ve shopped, I’ve laughed, I’ve played. I’ve picked out THEIR Halloween bits and pieces and we’re all still in one piece.
I don’t even know how?
God! I love them madly.. (Ruby has a party later today. Luckily one of the other mums, Sam… is going to take her there, which helps me out threefold.)
I’ve answered your questions on my Insta story,(they’re getting juicer and juicer.) Everyone keeps rubbing in the fact that i’m ‘single’ by asking me if I am 40 times a day. Lol.
I’m a happy singleton. I want to fall in love and get married one day, to my perfect man. Until that time, I’m not worried, he’ll find me.
I’ve also been called a ‘tramp’ and ‘should work for the Prime Minister’ in one whole day. I’ve rushed around, i’ve tried to keep you all in the loop, on my socials, I’ve not eaten enough, I’ve not rested enough, but on the whole, i’m happy.
I can’t really complain!
I mean JEEZE. I got blessed by Burmese Monks last night. J
In case you’re wondering, I’m not religious by any means, not even a little bit, at all. BUT i’m a really spiritual chica. I love to get lost in the magic of enlightenment. I find it enthralling and mysterious. If I get to light candles to celebrate full moons, in dark mystic gardens, to bring light to the world with Buddhist monks…why not? I mean, in two days, i’m off to Tom Zanetti’s Masquerade Ball, in Leeds, for Halloween…which probably couldn’t be more opposite. Lol.
I’m gonna NEED to be blessed, before I walk into that shindig.
I swear there’s only sinning allowed.
But again, it’ll be fun. I always support Thomas madly, because you’ve got to have ‘Team Yorkshires’ back always. In my eyes, he hasn’t done badly at all, has he? I read a lot of people hating on him on Twitter last night…and I didn’t really find it fair. But the more successful you become, the more people have something to say. Be it good or bad? That’s why I always say, that the NUMBER ONE THING you need, in any form of career in entertainment, is a really strong mindset.
Yet, if you’re emotionally comfortable and have the heart of a lion, you’re waaay ahead of the game.
I’m always really tough when it comes to ‘the haters,’ because I feel so confident and happy right now. It doesn’t get to me, at all now? It’s almost as if, nothing can break my ‘happy place’ and whatever they say, just dissolves away. I’m 37. I’m grown. I grew up in Hollywood, where things are hard on you emotionally, every single SECOND of every day. It schooled me well. A little ’Keyboard Warrior’ here and there from…(put in any place you fancy,) isn’t gonna melt my soul or trip my strut.
However, that doesn’t make it right, so this morning, I sent an important DM to someone, to see what I could do, to help them stop all cyber bullying.
I wonder if they’ll reply?
Okay…Away from that…
I don’t have an outfit for the Masquerade Halloween ball yet? I don’t know what to go as? I don’t know where to look? I need to be in it, by Saturday at 8pm, on a red carpet for quick pictures, (literally seconds,) before the evil booze up.
I organise everyone else perfectly, but when it comes to myself, I leave myself ‘last place.’ Lol
I feel like I have no time to organise it, but i’m gonna have to try and keep ‘my frillies’ crossed.
I don’t have time to get fitted into anything..So i’m gonna do what I do best, which is just ‘wing it’ with a wink. (I currently have conjunctivitis, which everyone keeps mistaking for ‘pink eye.’ My wink is actually sore. Haha.)
This time yesterday morning I found myself driving to meet someone, that I technically shouldn’t have been meeting, but sometimes life, just guides you down a path, where possible flames, fire & fun, are there for the taking.
Good times, this way!
These days, when it comes to life, i’m a ‘play it safe,‘ but MY WAY, kinda gal. I’m concentrating on work and family. But as we know, my version of safe is never EVER ‘Vanilla.’ Like ‘The Gent’ that I went on the Manchester Airport date with, a month ago…had said….
‘You’re a dangerous girl. Guys love a dangerous girl.’
I guess, the glint in my little Asian eyes, will always give that away.
The real truth is, that I’m not very ‘dangerous’ at all. I’m actually just a bit foolish. Haha. I’m made up of so many ‘bits & pieces,’ that it would take a real genius, or the most patient male in the Universe, to actually begin to KNOW, how to figure me out.
(I met a guy whilst waiting at the bar yesterday, who was Autistic. He made me beam, because he was so smart, so quick and I could see his mind working, as it turned. He told me I was ‘beautiful‘ and I appreciated the love, because it was so real, raw and delivered with a bold quirkiness.)
Anyway, back to the story….
I’d been up working since five o clock in the morning. I did a shoot, around six o clock. A school run occurred in between. Yet, by 10am, my shoot was done.
I got in my car and I drove to meet a friend.
Best morning ever really. So much fun. I guess life just fancied a *TWIST* and that’s how I found myself sat there, smiling. A ‘Twist’ is good, because you always learn something from it. And through MY life…I’ve learnt A LOT. I see a ‘twist’ coming for me, before it even begins to tighten.
Some call it SKILLZ. 😉
I’ve known this person a while, but I’ve never got to hang out with them really. So it was great to just chatter, in a corner…away from drama, or stress. I need those moments. I’m needing them more and more.
It’s weird because it’s like my little Wunna boat has caught a decent wind now and gosh, we’re beginning to sail…
GLITTER SHOWERS EVERYWHERE.
‘I can’t stop looking at you.’
‘Aww! So sweet! Haha. What are you even looking at?’
‘You should probably do that top button up.’
‘I like it undone.’
‘Ah! You wore a skirt.’
‘Yeah. It’s warmer than I thought today, so I figured i’d give you that! Haha.’
‘You look ******* stunning…’
‘I look scrubbly. I’ve been on a shoot all morning.’
Banter, wine and chitter chatter. Sometimes, that’s all you need. It keeps your sane. It’s keeps you fresh. It keeps you excited about life, doesn’t it? And when you’re excited, you feel like you can conquer the world, in a day!
Sometimes, you can. Sometimes, you can’t. All that matters is how you FEEEEL.
(I’m finding it so hard to write this blog right now, because I’m in the warmest room ever, with a Mulled Wine headache. I guzzled mulled wine, like I was a bouji pirate last night, at Ackworth Garden Centre, by baubles. It was their Big Christmas reveal, yesterday evening. I had the most beautiful time. It was literally magical. Christmas is my favourite time of year. I’m a December born baby, incase you didn’t know.)
Anyway, he was sweet, humble and sexy. It was good to just sit and chatter, without a care in the world. Plus, he’s going to be working alongside Wunna Land soon, so it’s good for him to get to know me better, without any ‘censors.’ 🙂
‘It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be hard. But i’ll do it.’
He kept starting a sentence, pausing…not saying anything at all, as his mind looked like it was racing….and then finishing his sentence, with a simple ‘yeah.’
‘You didn’t say anything…’
‘I do that a lot..’
Haha. And you lot think i’m crackers!!
Then as the clock struck 1pm, he walked me to my car and we just got on with our own little versions of life…
If I could describe the walk,i’d say it was..
It was a ‘Danger Walk.’
(But I least I did it in gold glitter kitten heels.)
The rest of the time I spent with Ruby and Junior, before we headed to Ackworth Garden Centre, to shimmie in Christmas. The kids love it there. They’ve literally grown up, in that Garden Centre. Lol. But last night was beautiful. It was filled with happiness. It was filled with famillies, close friends and great memories.
I love family. It’s so important to me. Ruby & Junior are so important to me. We’re this little threesome and we’ve been through such a tough time and there are moments, like with all families, where in which, we still do.
Yet 90 percent of the time, we’re WONDERFUL!
I have much more balance right now and hopefully (with everything crossed) something tells me, that we have the most magical future ahead of us.
I’m just leaving life to fate…and well…writing my diary as I go along.
ps/ I don’t think being 37 and Single is gonna be too difficult after all.? Haha. Right now, guys seem to be offering themselves over to Wunna Land, with a hop, skip and a…willy.(I’m keeping myself out of trouble though.)
Gosh! Morning, my lil’ Twinkles! My delicious tickles of fancy. I have been SO UTTERLY *RUSHED* off my little kitten feet. It’s been mad. I’ve been busy. Yet in a way, I’m delighted, because I really do hope to one day ‘blink’ and see that ALL of my dreams have come true…and if that takes‘busy,’ if that takes ‘hard work,‘ than to me, I’m there. I’d rather do it, than ponder it..
TBone: ‘ It’s not what someone says, it’s always what they do…’
Especially when i’m in a productive frame of mind. Y’know, before cocktails get the better of me. Haha.
I reckon, if you can still commit to productivity, in a really great heels, you’ll smash life!
(Oh! Wait! I thought I said that I was always gonna wear ‘flats’ now, after running for my life and falling over 40 times at Scare Kingdom?)
Nevermind. Ghosts & Kidnappers would just set me free anyway, because I’d definitely do their head in. My choice of footwear wouldn’t be an issue.
Kidnapper: ‘God! Let her OUT. Switch her for a better victim. Ooh. Shes wearing glitter heeled pumps from the ****** collection.’
I was talking to ‘Celeb Ghost Hunt’ Ash, the other day…He wants me to go on an investigation with him. I must be a sucker for terror. I hate being frightened. Haha.
Anyway, back to non frightening stuff…
I’ve travelled all over. I’ve been on shoots, auditions, i’ve been good, i’ve been bad, I’ve been influencing a jolly load, ready for the festive season. (Which is a REALLY BUSY time for everyone.) I’m also doing the single mum thing also, aren’t I? (I adore every INCH of the bambinos. Junior’s a delight. Ruby’s got her first set of glasses.) I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my world. I’m raising a Glamour puss and a Hero. Last night they both *shocked* themselves up, ran out of their rooms and got into my bed, because we all got lonely and afraid of the dark. Lol
Nobody likes to sleep alone. The only time i’m okay with it, is when i’m drunk and just need to pass out…still with my face on. (Which I don’t really recommend as a graceful little pastime. It only makes you feel worse in the morning,)
On the whole, I’m really happy, right now and when i’m this busy and this happy, it seems that I forget about my ever so rubbish love life.
I’m still 37. I’m still single. It ain’t that bad.
I’m happy a singleton. But after everything i’ve been through. The ups, the downs & the ‘mess me arounds’, i’m still not cautious. (I still wear my heart on my sleeve.) I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I very much trust people with my heart. EVEN NOW I still trust that they’re going to take care of it…..because firstly I see the beauty in everyone and secondly…because i’m probably foolish. Haha.
I never know if they see me as their ‘bitch,’ their ‘bed notch,‘ or their ‘baby for life? Haha..Sounds like a Fairytale. If I can’t decide, i’ll just sit back and leave it to them, to come forward and show me what category, I fall into.
If they don’t come forward then they’re weren’t for me. (I’ll just see it all as, ‘they weren’t that interested.’) I like a forward man. A brave one.
You know why? Probably because i’m not used to guys being romantically forward me with…It’s almost like they’re terrified to be? And I have no clue why? Whatsoever? I don’t get it? You’ll see a lot of guys openly comment on my pics etc, via my ‘socials.’ Yet, the majority of them don’t..and instead shoot in a sneaky DM. (That sounds naughty! Haha.)
I literally get one almost every 2 minutes.
However, in real life….If a guy actually fancies me…they’re usually forward to begin with and then stop being so forward…..It’s like they want ME to chase them?
When you’re a 30 something woman, nothing is worse than having to chase a guy for attention. I’ve done it lots, much to my own embarrassment. But I don’t do it, now. EVER. Who has the time or that? If someone wants to go on a date..They should just tell me. If they want to be with me…They shouldn’t be scared to say it.
Plus, i’m quite traditional when it comes to the chase..the ‘wooing.’ I like a boy to ‘hunt & gather,‘ as I ‘fan‘ myself prettily.
Guy friend: ‘You only like them to *hunt and chase* if you fancy them though. If you don’t, you always *shut* them down and we hate that. You make the approach extremely intimidating…’
I’ve decided to describe my love life like this….
It’s kinda like cleaning a window, with a raggy cloth. Some day, I’ll be able to see through the glass. 😉
I bumped into my friend Shaun yesterday. He’s a bodyguard..
Shaun: ‘It’s not like the flipping movie Chrissie!!’
He’d just got back from London. I’d just got off a busy weekend. Plus, I’m actually looking for family security and safety, right now. A wee bit of close protection. Not all the time. Just when necessary. Sometimes, when we’re out as a family or i’m influencing something, people will stop to chatter or selfie with me. And I love that. Yet, they’ll just be ME & the babies. I need to make sure they’re always watched. I’m paranoid after some creepy guy, who only knew me from instagram, followed us around Doncaster & wouldn’t leave us alone & after a guy tried to glass another guy in a Manchester bar, because he was trying to hit on me?
I didn’t know either guy…I knew they were both trying to hit on me?
All I heard was the female manager shouting..
‘Get her out the way…’
Then guys and girls starting grabbing glass bottles and smashing them up against the bar, to use in a fight!
IT WASN’T EVEN A ROUGH PLACE.
I wouldn’t have gone there if it was.
The police even got called and the bar had to be shut down for the evening, It got that crazy.
I don’t get it?
So, it was good to briefly catch up, with Shaun.
Shaun: ‘You’re starting early…’
Me: ‘Haha. I know. I don’t even care.’
(I was sat in a quiet corner at The Mallard, in Doncaster.)
Me: ‘You’ve got luggage on wheels. I hate it when people have luggage on wheels. Haha.’
Shaun: ‘I feel like a Trolley Dolly, but i’m working it.’
So we discussed security, talked life, work and caught up…The we dashed off. (I didn’t end up posting my blog. When people I know come up to me and start chatting, that’s it, you can’t shut me up. I’ll just spend time with them instead. But I like that about me. I put LIVING life, BEFORE typing it out.)
I guess, I need to find balance. 😉
Then Sam ‘The Reecey Reece’ fest messaged me, to see when we could schedule in ‘catch up’ time. We’re like ‘ships passing in the night.’
‘Are you free on…?’
Then I just got on with life.
I’ve had so much fun over the weekend. I’ve worked. I’ve loved. I’ve lived. I’ve had the best time. I celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Saturday. I did Xscape, Castelford with the kids. We smashed ‘Nandos.’ I did Meadowhall. I wiggled at Wagamamas.
Just so much!
I’m so grateful for how well, everyone treated me, over that time!
It was actually Pete (Ruby’s Dad’s Birthday) on Sunday. But Ruby didn’t want to hang out with him, because she wanted to do Influencing with me at Meadowhall. Being Pete. he showed up at Meadowhall, with is bestie Jay, in dying hope that he’d get to spend some time with Ruby..in her new specs.
It worked…and we all ended up doing dinner together at Wagamamas, with my Mum & brother.
But I kinda like that, we co parent well. We haven’t been together for years. In fact 7 years…Yet, it’s great that we can all ‘kick it.’ Y’know, just chill and have a duck pancake together. Lol.
When co parenting works.
Anyway, about my love life…
The weird thing is, with me being busy and ‘forgetting’ about love…It seems, that gents are peeking back into Wunna Land and tapping on my glitter door, again.
I’m calling this time..
Operation ‘Blasts From The Pasts.’
A couple of guys that USED to fancy me,…seemed to have returned to my DM’s with a ‘Hey. How are you?’ One guy had actually started dating a girl, but she went through his phone and *blocked* me…Haha. He didn’t even realise, until one of his other friends pointed it out.
Safe to say…They’re no longer together. (But there you have it! You shouldn’t have chosen ‘The Crazy’ over me. Hhahaha.)
It’s all good fun. A laugh. We’re all making memories.
If i could tell you anything.
I’ll tell you that I was a really lucky girl. I’ll tell you to always chase your dreams and when you feel inspired, to act upon it. A dream doesn’t just have to be a ‘make believe‘ moment. You can at least TRY and make your reality. People do it every day. Why not you? I’m living proof.
Always be kind. Always do the things that make you happy. Don’t sacrifice your true happiness, to ‘run through the motions.’ Wake up. Feel the breeze, Go with it. Nothing is better than living you best life.
Don’t listen to anyone, or anything but your gut instinct. It will show you the right way. It will also tell you when you’re ready.
Always believe in love…
It is the ONLY thing, that is going to power you through the bad times and make the good times simply MAGICAL.
You probably spent your Friday, planning out your cocktail mixers & putting together your outfits, for a jolly lil’ weekend of debauchery. A weekend of blissful safety, under a bouji umbrella of frosted prosecco pours. A weekend where in which you *winked* at strangers and placed your heart on your sleeve, as you stalked your ‘findings’ on Instagram.
Shush! We all do it.
I spent my Friday, doing a morning school run, (Single Mum Alert,) before hopping on a train to meet my gay friend Liam…Once I arrived, I found a Bacardi in my hand, as station security guards stood by my side. Then after a moment in a beauty salon, followed by wine in a Casino, at Blackpool, Pleasure Beach. I found myself getting changed in his living room, with more wine in my hand, after chatting to his agent Zoie and making a really poor shoe selection.
Liam: ‘Honestly, you need to wear trainers.’
Me: ‘I’ll be fine.’
Aaron & Kyle showed up and…
We were headed to Blackburn, where I pretty much had to…
RUN FOR MY ENTIRE F****** LIFE.
(I’m a glamour puss. I don’t run for anything, but diamonds. Sistas! I RAN! I ran SO fast, I tripped over my own feet, fell and rolled myself back up again. I felt like a rubbish Vin Diesel. Haha.)
The UK’s Top Rated ‘Halloween Attraction.’
Yeah that’s where I ended up…
I was invited to Scare Kingdom, Scream Park, to celebrate it’s VIP press launch. It’s opening night. If you know me personally, you’ll know that I can handle, real life scary stuff. I’m good with all that.
But when it comes to fear, tight spaces,mind games, Halloween, horror, ghosts & goolies…(Wahey! 😉 I said ‘goolies’... )
..I am awful for it. I’m terrified of it all. I don’t even like to celebrate Halloween. I close my eyes and pretend it’s not part of the year.
OH MY LORD!
I got there. It was fine. (I’d already fallen backwards, on my arse, in Liam’s living room, with a wine in my hand, because of my shocking shoe choice.) I was ready for anything… I already had a graze on my arm.
Liam: ‘I swear you’re getting pissed because you’re terrified!!!’
Once, in Blackburn…It started like this…
Which was fine. It’s always great to see ‘Aaron the Pap,‘ in action, who’s actually a really great friend of mine. I love Aaron. He was in our car up…with Kyle. (Who I THANK the GOOD LORD for!)
Next, came another drink…and then this…
Again. I can handle the creepy dude on the red carpet. I even asked him out on a Sushi date. He declined. He obviously has poor taste in women.
OH MY ******* KITTENS!!!!
It was time to enter the creepy Scare Kingdom, farm land and go through the TERROR, that awaited our juiciness. We had to go first, because Liam (who’s a singer) had a ‘later on’ gig to get to…Which was delightful, because of course, if you go first, they’re all flipping energized and excited. Lol
I mean anything that says…
‘Hold on tightly to the rope that guides you, it is your only hope of escape from the hooded hell hole, known as Flesh Market.’
Hmm…? Lovely. Something says i’m not at Angelica’s anymore?
I couldn’t even walk up there because of my shoes. Haha. fell over twice, with Liam and Kyle holding me up on either side. It hadn’t even started yet!! 🙂
Aaron: ‘She’s off to a farm to be chased by zombies and she chooses to wear those shoes!!!’
We’re wandering around. All’s calm. It’s raining a little. I hate the rain. We head inside, things turn dark…and then absolute tight spaced, TERROR begins….
All I remember was forcing my friend Kyle, go first (lol), whilst holding his back, (Liam was behind me) and just ******* SCREAMING, FOR MY WHOLE LIFE, into his hood, because I needed my eyes to just stop seeing. Haha.
I don’t even know how Kyle was so brave!?! God, did not make eyes for what we were forced to see…Haha.
Imagine being tipsy, being shoved into a tight, dark maze, then HAVING to get yourself through it all, simply for your own pride, whilst you wished for the torture & horror to stop.
Imagine doing all of that, on a dark farm in Blackburn (lol.) You knew awful things were about to happen, every time you were being greeted by creepy humans. Human’s that made you feel uncomfortable on every level. Imagine being chased THROUGH some death cage, by them…blind and…
..IN ****** heels.
We got through the first maze. Don’t know how?
I now couldn’t talk, after screaming so madly…We started walking towards the ‘next bit’ of utter terror. I fell over around 7 times, en route, because a mixture of bad shoe choices, wine and fear, kept making me.
Liam: ‘We can’t go through the next maze. It’s too scary and you’re falling over your own feet!’
My trousers were literally covered in mud. My shoes were battered. My makeup had smeared. I had tears in my eyes…I was laughing, in shock. But then I went with…
Me: ‘I can just take my shoes off and of through the rest of us…’
Liam: ‘Fuck off. You’re not allowed to do that…’
Kyle: ‘She can’t get through it…’
We get to the next maze (i’m determined to ‘muscle’ through, but then Liam, makes the executive decision to kindly ask the ‘greeting ghoul,‘ to call a manager, & get us back to the bar. She came and got us and we were walked straight OUT of the terror, to immediate safety….I had baby ‘panic & dash’ bruises all over me, my knees were covered in soil and yeah…I was still in my shit shoes.
I ruined everything. Haha.
(Saying that, both boys were filled with utter fear anyway. It’s not like, we were okay. Haha. We were drained of utter life and filled with complete fear…and I knew they weren’t okay, because they were trying to ‘swag‘ it out, like were we all safe and dandy.)
WE WERE PANICKED!!!
If ANY HUMAN, ran up to us, at that point (she could’ve been a flippin’ lollipop lady)…..I tell you, I would’ve probably passed out or opted for dying, because it would’ve been a less traumatic. Haha.)
But that’s what Scare Kingdom is about! It ain’t Disney Land….unless you’re a twisted F****.
We’re walked away to safety, back to the bar…which was now filled with ‘newly arrived’ celebs, ready to take on, the terror mazes.
(I just drank because I couldn’t deal with life, at this point.)
The gorgeous ‘Marlie Weekender’ tinkers up to me. (I love Marlie, she makes me smile. I met her at an event in Leeds, in the Summer.) I feel a flick of my hair from behind and there she is, with her ‘Off Big Brother’ boyfriend Sam Chaloner, a cute blond girl, who I think was his sister and Callum Weekender, who’s about to hit our screens on ‘Celebs Go Dating.’
I think I was pissed by this point, as everything just seems to be in ‘flash back.’
I talked to the owner? I talked the bartender? I talked to Aaron? I saw tons of people from ‘Lucky7 PR,’ who I watch daily on Instagram …Like Sean Pratt, his girlfriend Jordi, Glamour Model Grace Teal…(He’s fit. They’re beautiful..) I saw Saira Choudry, who’s currently on ‘No Offence.’ I remember her from Corrie.
Then I flipping got pulled over, to what we all called ‘The inside sex dungeon.’(It’s the epitome of terror, which overrides any terror you’ve experienced so far on the farm…Oh and it’s niche is twisted, psycho sexuality.)
Kyle’s already headed in. (I love how brave he was. I love brave dudes.) He was the first one in…ever! All these ghouls, who you couldn’t see, where slamming shit and screeching…
‘Come in, little boy, we’re waiting for you…’
..behind a small metal door.
I’d ONLY agreed to go in IF I was able to be photographed/ filmed. Lol. I’m such a diva. Haha. But whatever…I was terrified.
Me: ‘It’s optional. I don’t really want to do it, for the good of my own health. I’m scared. I want a bit of ‘look at me.’
Staff: ‘Wait here…’
Of course, knowing my luck…It was all fine and dandy…and before you know it, i’m stood at the entrance of a horror, SEX dungeon.
Yipppppppppppeeeeee! Happy Friday!
All i could see were my friends stood behind a barrier. A metal doorway, with a flap that had been opened. I heard screams, screeches, evil voices, beckoning me in and saw a creepy looking barbie, human, was looked naked, but was wearing nothing but tights, a blond wig, with sewn on eyes, nose and lips…that didn’t move.
I was not okay. I F****** SHAT MYSELF.
I just stood at the entrance, with my hand over my face shouting..
I CAN’T DO IT. I’M NOT DOING IT. I CAN’T ******* DO IT.
Everyone’s now *egging* me on…Liam’s shouting…
‘It’s NINE MINUTES CHRISSIE. ONLY NINE MINUTES TO GET THROUGH.’
Me: ‘Nine minutes. Nine minutes…’
I looked at Kyle…and said…
‘Was it okay…?’
Liam: ‘Don’t tell her that!’
Kyle: ‘9 Minutes… You’ll be okay. I did it. It’s harsh. But just do it..’
I’m causing such a delay, that the amazing staff had to tell some of the ‘horror actors’ to ‘calm down, back up and clear the door way…’
Yes, I was that pathetic. Hahah.
A lady then says…
‘You have a SAFE WORD (She tells me it.) You shout it out. Everything stops. We’re all watching.’
Don’t know how it happened?Yet, as life goes…I ended up on all fours, about to crawl through the entrance. (Yes, you had to CRAWL THROUGH IT.) I *paused* but they were already sick of me, I’m sure because I felt a *push* on my bum (lol) and that was it..
..the door *slammed shut* behind me…
The only way out, was to get all the way through the dungeon or shout my ‘safe word.’ (Which of course my northern pride wouldn’t let happen.)
Now, I’m not going to tell you what happened in the psycho, sex dungeon and Scare Kingdom. All I will say, is that I SCREAMED for my life, NON STOP.
Liam: ‘All you could hear for the first minute was Chrissie, screaming her head off, whilst trapped in that dungeon & I was outside.’
I went from room to kinky room, madly. Infact almost reluctantly. It felt so fast. So energized. Everything around me was ‘non stop’ and so real. It felt really real, like i’d been kidnapped. I fell over, TWICE.
It was intense. It played with my head. It was a nightmare and all I wanted was for the madness to end. I was in a torture chamber. I didn’t have a gin. My eyes saw the most terrible things…and when 9 minutes must have been up, I found myself running out of a curtain, back to safety…and finally without a mini sack over my head. 🙂
WTF! Hahah. OH MY GOD!!!
As soon as I ran out, I felt an entire RUSH of utter bliss flow through me. I could breathe I was free. It was like I had conquered the world, in 9 minutes. It was the best feeling of achievement. I faced my fear.
I flipping did it.
I could’ve done it again. Funny that? It was THE MOST TERRIFYING Halloween moment EVER, It was SICK. It was twisted. It was naughty! But that’s what it’s there for, so it in my mind, it was done INCREDIBLY WELL. It was created beautifully, by the kings of utter horror.
You just can’t miss this, you have to say you’ve done it….
As I walked out, I saw ‘Real Housewife’ Christine McGuinness (Paddy McGuinness’s wife) on the red carpet, doing her pap pictures, before the run… It ended up in the Daily Mail.
Something tells me, she was about to find out, that she wasn’t in Cheshire anymore…
As soon as I got back to The New Osborne Hotel, in Blackpool, I drank a bunch of wine, chatted to a guy named Lee, drank loads at a Casino with Liam, Matt and his beautiful girlfriend…and then passed out, in my bed sheets.
Right, so in case you didn’t know, growing up through my entire life, I was a model. Not a fashion model (I’m only Five foot four) or a commercial model (I have the weirdest ‘non commercial’ features,) I wasn’t an Influencer (we didn’t do ‘social media’ back then)….I was a glamour model.
I didn’t find IT. IT found me….as I was sat outside a coffee shop, on 3rd & La Cienega, by The Beverly Centre in LA. (Which is where I did my entire 20’s.)
And with being a model..when you DO grow up and become an ‘oldie,’ you kinda miss ‘glamorousity,’ madly and at the same time, you kinda lose your ‘va voom’ a bit. You look at your shoot pictures and think…‘I’m sure I used to look better than that!’ Lol.
I do still model. Yet it’s nothing It was ‘back in the day’ when I was living in Hollywood, on three flights a day, being booked, shot and dashed to different states, every few hours, simply for a bit of sexy picture taking. It was my job. I remember landing at airports and messaging my THEN husband, to see how his auditions or filming for the day had gone?
It was a dream.
When I was a little girl, it was was all I wanted to do. (Well, I wanted to be in show business…) and I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to. So, I’m grateful for that. I’ve lived the most wonderful life. I still am. I’m just in a different chapter. And I always say that I’m the luckiest girl in the world, because no one is more determined than I, to ENJOY LIVING, whilst making any dream I can.. come true, for both children and myself.
Literally, no one is MORE GRATEFUL than I, for every single piece of life, love, family and opportunity I’ve been given.
Of recent, when it’s come to the writing, the blogging, the influencing, I’ve felt on top of the world, almost in a ‘hero’ excitement of ‘I’m smashing it.’ And it’s important to enjoy the moments that you’ve rightfully worked hard for. You can be humble all you want. Yet, I don’t believe that any successful human, doesn’t do a cheeky ‘happy dance,’ or boast a bit of a flaunt, in the name of celebration.
It’s natural. We need to hold on to and celebrate all happy moments in life.
However, when it’s come to the modelling front, and I have shot recently….and i’m still shooting now….I’m kinda feeling a little insecure. I now have ‘wibbly’ bits that weren’t there before and that never used to bother me. Now..it does. Especially when young ‘just turned 20 year olds’ are wiggling on it and OWNING THEIR niche, rightfully. (Which I love. Yet it does make me feel OLD.)
You will have seen my posts recently and if i’m feeling this way, then I think many women are also! So i’m wanting to help the 30 something year old woman, celebrate her own WOMANHOOD. I’m wanting to inspire, bring confidence and encourage us 30 something chicks to not be afraid to ‘wave the flag’ in the name of ‘sexy.’
SO, in order to sort myself out (because I need to find my own internal ‘ooh laa’ and quench my thirst of glamour pussing, in front of a camera, i’ve been on a hunt. (And I fancy myself in front of a camera, so DO know I have HUNTED, to find something perfect.)
I’ve literally been searching our delicious world wide web, for the absolute BEST photog to shoot me, and get me back to feeling beautiful again. I feel sexy. I don’t feel beautiful. It’s taken me months to find someone to help me celebrate my WOMANHOOD, and I was looking for a FEMALE photographer.
I’m about to venture back on the telly and I don’t want to sail through all the PR… looking rubbishy.
Two weeks ago when I came across ‘Doll House Photography.’
If you didn’t know, I adore ‘old school’ glamour. A proper boudoir shoot. A glamourous, luxury themed shoot. A picture that tells a story. Be it cheeky, or delicious. It’s kinda hard to find these days. But it’s my favourite type of glamour shoot and that’s what I wanted to do. That’s what I’ve been looking for…And I’m stubborn, so if that’s what I want …that’s all I do. 🙂
I went through their ‘socials,’ their pics, their lives, their everything…I’m awful for it…Haha. Plus, of course, I absolutely loved that the infamous Chrissy Sparks was the photographer. If you aren’t aware, Chrissy is mind blowing. She’s award winning. She knows how to get the shot out of you. I looked through the results and thought they were out of this world.
The women looked divine, yet, classy. So SO sexy. They oozed a swirl of magic. They dripped empowerment and a decadent luxury. I loved it. I wanted it.
*Pass me my Prosecco!*
I then read that if you shot with them, you had the full range of dressing rooms, filled with wardrobes and wardrobes of lingerie, corsets, which is any glamour pusses dream. They have pieces to delight everyone, IN ALL SIZES, waiting there for you, to shoot in. (I like that. I hate having to take everything with me. I hate luggage on wheels.) Whilst you’re there, you get the absolute five star treatment. You hardly get that on a shoot. 😉 Behind the scenes of modelling is a lot less glamourous than you think.
But the thing that moved me the most, whilst looking at the ‘results,’ was the fact that ‘Doll House’ didn’t service models. (You’d assume that ONLY models alike would be shooting with ‘Doll House’ photography. You’d assume that you’d have to be a size 8, or some kind of Pageant Queen, to be shooting with Doll House Photography. That can often can be intimidating.)
Yet no…I looked online and found a ton of before and after pictures of real women, of all ages… who wanted to do or feel the same as I!
Take a look…
They had their hair & make up done. They had help picking out their outfits and they were shot by one of the best female photographers on set, in the UK.
The women are given control of their ‘ooh laa.’ Their shoot. Yet, directed appropriately by the best of the best!
That’s what sold it for me. The simple fact that firstly it was fun. Happiness makes girls look hotter and the fact that the studio went out of their way to empower women. Y’know, make us FEEL beautiful. (How something makes you feel is all that matters.)
That’s what I want. That’s what i’m looking for. I mean my love life has been shocking of recent. I’m not bothered about feeling or looking *blah* right now. Haha.
Give me GLAMOUR.
I’m stepping up my game…
…sometimes, when you’re a chick and when you’ve been through all sorts…Y’know, ‘walked a life.’ Be you young or old….Sometimes you just NEED THAT MOMENT, where you kinda feel feminine again, alive again, beautiful again, POWERFUL AGAIN….
And that ONE moment alone….acts as a graduation of your kitten soul, from little girl to WOMAN, as you embrace all that is YOU…and show the world what you’re made of.
I’ve shot with so many people, all around the world and I have never met an actual company that goes out of their way to personally celebrate women, on a ‘one to one’ level, from the moment you walk in terrified to the glorious picture result! They represent women represent SO WELL and they pretty much take a girl, who is still hiding in her cocoon, onto her next ‘BUTTERFLY’ level.
So if you’re looking to be that ‘butterfly,’ or need a bit ‘ooh laa’ in your life…. I’ll tell you right now, I’ve found you the most beautiful place, to celebrate being a woman!
It’s a Wunna Land pick!
Look at some of these result pics, where real woman found their ‘magic’ and celebrated their pwn version of WOMANHOOD.
Woke up to the most beautiful message from one of my old LA guy friends ‘Raffi,’ who I adore more than anything, because he’s always filled with Wunna Love. He produces music and when I was a mid 20 something year old girl, in West Hollywood, we recorded a couple tracks together, that his brother had whammed up.
His brother was working with the likes of Britney Spears, N’sync, R.Kelly, Michael Jackson…His grandfather, worked with Elvis. So, let’s just say producing beats runs through his soul. He’s a ‘brother,’ and he’s swag.
But all that to one side…We had the most amazing friendship. We’d hang out all the time. He’d come around to my condo, after being at the studio and we’d just sit in his car, chill and chatter, under the LA night stars. It was great!
When he was a young 20 something he looked at me and said,
‘I’d be so happy, if I woke up to you every morning…But at fifty, you’d probably piss me off. Haha.’
Then he drank a Red bull, it gave him wings and he drove over my wheely bins, en route to drop by ‘Neyo’s. (Yeah…the ‘So sick of love songs’ Neyo.)
Raffi’s always been such a good friend to me. In fact ALL of my LA friends are to this day, SO SO close to me. We tell each other how much we love one another, literally all day long and that’s because growing up…we went through SO, SO MUCH together, in one of the toughest towns emotionally, to try and make it in showbusiness.
This morning, I woke up to an insta DM from ‘Raffi’ after i posted the above picture…All he said was…
‘You are so beautiful.’
So 13 years on, and now on entirely different sides of the world, he is still so utterly lovely and goes out of his way to try and make a glamour puss smile. 🙂
(Thank you for that! I love you so dearly. May the night stars guide you bro.)
I’m still filled with anxiety and panic and I have no clue why, really? I’m getting on with it though. I’m good at that. I’m doing it with a ‘100 watt’ smile and hoping it’s just hormones.
What am I terrified of?
This morning I posted the above pic, because I always thought that growing up a model and one that sold ‘sexiness‘….I always thought that I wouldn’t feel ‘sexy’ when I grew older.
The opposite has happened and at 37, I probably, right now, feel at my SEXIEST. It’s so crazy? I don’t know whether it’s because I’m more comfy in my own skin, or i’m just laid back with my natural ‘Va Voom.’ I’ve got nothing to prove now. I’m cool.
But again, my LA guy friends the other day, were saying that they hung out with me, as a young 20 something year old and back then they thought i was ‘Ooh laa…Ferocia.’
Yet now, almost 20 years on..(they fly in to visit me on occasion,) they’ll just look at me and say,
‘We still cannot believe how beautiful you are. It’s like you’re getting hotter and hotter.’
How nice is that!!!! Everyone needs to hear it. It’s positive and positive vibes are contagious. I’m so lucky to have such wonderful friends…Real friends. Real ‘life soldiers.’ Hopefully, that will put me in good stead for the future. Hopefully, you’ll take a moment today, at some point, just to tell someone that they’re beautiful.
It makes their day….
Everyone should embrace and adore their beauty. Both inner and out.
But y’know, there’s just something about being older, that FEELS SEXIER, than being young. I find, that, when you’re older your ‘SEXY’ comes from your soul, your life experience. It’s in your eyes. It’s your beauty. Your story.
Everyone has a story, even when you’re young. You just ‘own it‘ better when you’re grown. When you’re really young, your ‘sexy,’ is still only pinned, glued and stuck on. It’s not real yet. Even in your 20’s, when you think you’re grown.
That’s what i’ve learnt through my 30’s. I’ve also realised that you mellow out, and grown emotionally. You become a wiser human and that alone is SEXY.
(A young friend of mine sent me a message yesterday, and it put me off them, because… well he used a very young, 20 something year old term, to describe a group of people…in a derogatory fashion. He referred to them as ‘beggy’ and I don’t like that because I think it’s rude. I think it’s judgmental and something that a 30 something would never ever say..Lol. And I guess that’s that’s the difference, between being young and old.)
I’ve learnt so much about people and myself in this last 2 weeks.
All sorts has been happening to my friends. I have some finding their ‘bouji,’ and others clinking prosecco glasses. ‘Hustle Barbie’ (who’s Vegan) actually stole a PIG. A REAL PIG from a Butcher, because she didn’t want it to get slaughtered. Shenamed it ‘Elvis’ and it’s now in her house. Lol.
Everyone apparently loves the pig. Yet, I am not a piggy fan. I find their snouts intrusive. Lol. Yet, I admire her love and conquest. She’s filled with utter compassion.
Plus, I adore that she’s going to go out, get drunk, bring back a hot dude, forget she has a pig named ‘Elvis’ and suddenly remember he’s there, when he pops onto her sofa, mid ‘sexy time.’
If a pig came near me during sex, I would DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’d grab my boobies and RUN FOR THE HILLS…NAKED.
I am terrified of animals of the farmyard variety.
TERROR SCREECHES THROUGH MY SOUL.
But on the up, there’s also been new love. My gay friend Liam, (he’s just tinkered off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show on Channel 4.) Anyway, he recently broke up with his beau and has hit the dating scene with his heart on his sleeve and it’s good to see him happy. He called me before his last date, with a beautiful looking man. They met at ‘Velvet’ in Manchester, for the date and he saw him sat outside drinking a latte.
Me: ‘A latte!!!! On a date!!!!’
Liam: ‘I didn’t want it to be a slaggy date. We’ve spoken loads & really like him. It’s a non drinking date.’
(I don’t do ‘non drinking’ dates. 🙂 I get so nervous. I need to drink.)
He called me before his date because he was a little nervous. But dates are kinda like that, aren’t they?
Liam: ‘I’ve dressed really casual. is that okay??’
I’m glad, that I was his ‘make me not nervous‘ call. I’m good in those moments.
But they had the most beautiful time. I actually saw a picture of his date, whilst on the train to MY OWN date in Manchester. He was ‘sizzle.’ Really handsome. Really well groomed. They loved their time together. It was all chatter and leg strokes. Cuddles over calamari. It was a classy afternoon date. But then they had to rush off home, because ‘twinges’ and testosterone kept kicking in…If the date went on any longer….the pleasantries would’ve been X Rated.
I always think that chicks sometimes get offended when a guy wants to ‘sex you up’ on the first date. Yet, you shouldn’t. (I know, it makes you think that they only want sex.) Yet DO KNOW, that they can’t help it. If they fancy you, the WANT, WANT, WANT you. It’s how they’re wired and they don’t mean it offensively. Their willy pops up and that’s it. They go ‘boz eyed’ and need to ‘jab for goals.’
So you can IMAGINE, what it must be like if you’re two GUYS on a date…and you fancy one another!
I had such a ‘drama’ Monday, after the most blissful & peaceful weekend of ‘family.’ I’ve got so much going on, that i’m filling myself with a delicious flourish of stress. It’s kinda topped up with that beautiful thing we call ‘anxiety,’ simply because i’m terrified. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me? So, i’m gonna go with hormones?
I’m back on the telly shortly…That’s worrying me. I’ve got a lot to organise with the kids…That’s worrying me. I have shoots galore and auditions coming out my ‘hooty..’ That’s worrying me. My love life is *whizzing* around me, almost madly…I don’t even know what’s going on? Yes. I get a lot of attention. Yes, I’m single.
However, I’m noticing that, if I ever begin to feel for anyone, I get stressed out, because giant *CAUTION* signs go up everywhere. I’ve always had a shit love life. So, it’s scary. Plus, I’m absolutely emotional, so to me, it only means ‘danger.‘ I do not ever want to get my heartbroken again….EVER. I tread carefully. (Well…fuck that. I ‘stiletto.’)
I have travels and schedules and places to influence…Everything’s a juggle…Sometimes, I panic and I can’t even breathe. (Cue: Drama 😉 )
But the weird thing is, i’m HAPPY. I’m really happy and maybe being so happy, or so lucky, makes me worry because LET ME TELL YOU, my life hasn’t been so easy….Haha. It’s laughable.
Basically, I’m scared of everything right now, because i’m having to pinch myself…and I need to ‘Man up,’ count my blessings and get on with it, with panache.
At the weekend, I did Meadowhall with The Wunna’s and Ruby. (Junior was at his Dads.) We were pretty much treated like Meadowhall shopping royalty (and I thank you for that, because I don’t even know why?) It did feel wonderful though.
We shopped and stopped at Wagamama’s. Then after cocktail refuels, toy stores, makeup counters, new hair (we all need those extra few inches,) and my brand new chakra beads…Life felt almost perfect.
Ruby: ‘Mum. You’re chakra beads are not working. You’re CRAZY. You’re still nuts. They don’t work.’
(She is right, though. Even though I told her to ‘shush.‘ At this rate, i’m gonna need to see Buddha and get blessed by monks, or something! Maybe i’m just not meant for ‘Total Enlightenment.’ Maybe, i’m meant to live this ridiculous life of pathetic glory, for your entertainment… Haha.)
I’m starting to believe that…
‘Hey Destiny…You’ve fucked me over. You’re off the Christmas card list! You’re chilling on the naughty list, with Cupid and a few Pretty Boy exes from 2004.’
This is how I feel right now…
Like I’ve drank 42 energy drinks, had a bottle of rum, taken all my clothes off, and then thrown MYSELF to the lions.
Then…because i’m not at all mental….
…I lost the car…I always lose the car…Oh! Wait!! I don’t mean?Ugh. I’m rambling. I didn’t REALLY lose the car! I kinda ‘misplaced’ it? Y’know, when you can’t quite remember where you left it? 🙂 My Mum, drove home, because obviously, I guzzled Aperol Spritzies…after The Disney Store.
Fair enough, there was lots of wine, brunches and fun over the weekend. I checked in with my friends…briefly. Got on top of work. Then just relaxed with the kids. However….one of my favourite moments of the weekend, was the ‘school mum..’ catch up…
(There was a kids birthday party over the weekend…)
Miss.Murphy: ‘What are you wearing!?! Lol. Who wears glitter shoes to a kids party..?? Haha.’
Me: ‘Shut up. Lol. These are my driving shoes.’
Sam: ‘Does Ruby want Pizza?’
Me: ‘It’s like the Real Housewives of Yorkshire…’
Mum: ‘I got asked to be on Real Housewives of Marbella, a while ago, but I said no…I’m too boring, for it!’
Me: ‘You said NO! As if you said NO!! I can’t believe you said no. I would’ve moved to Marbella, to have done it. Haha.’
( I live for that show…It calms me, when I’m stressed. Yet, so does the occasional Jeremy Kyle episode…? So, yeah…I’m mental. Ignore me.)
Other Mum: ‘Oh yeah. I’m gonna be flying away with him.’
Miss. Murphy: ‘You’re actually going now! What about…?’
Other Mum: ‘Oh…he doesn’t know..’
Miss.Murphy: ‘You said he was fat and bald…But he’s not at all?’
Me: ‘How have I sat here for an hour and not known it’s your birthday today!!’
Miss. Murphy: ‘So, are you seeing your date again?’
I never thought i’d be a traditional ‘school mum.’ Yet, there’s just something about this group of Mamas, that is filled with the ‘sexy.’ They’re actually not traditional, school mums, in rain macs. They’re alive. They’re fun. They have designer shoes that read ‘LOVE.’ Louis Vuitton handbags and possible stables…’
They’re, what I call ‘Prosecco Mums,’ and I love them, madly. I’m like the tragic misfit of the bunch. The single, no husband, disorganized one, with a suggestive Insta profile…
We’re all really different from one another. Yet, w’re all great women. Confident women. Great mothers and well, I just really enjoy they’re company.
Then all our kids ruined everything and shoved tall plastic, slush palm trees, in our faces…
At that point, the gossip got censored…
My inbox is * pinging,* almost every minute, with people asking me about my love life and my last date etc…
All I can tell you is that, the guy that I did the Manchester Airport date with, was wonderful. He says he wants to see me again, and I definitely will. I found him really sexy and confident. He’s smart and thoughtful. I liked him. I’find him interesting…I want to know lots about him…I’ll definitely be meeting him again. (I’m only one ‘meeting’ in. So it’s all ‘early doors.’)
I’m just treading carefully…Like I said, I’m not bothered about getting my heart broken, right now, when I have so much going on…
I eventually want to fall in love. I’m a true romantic. I want to be swept off my feet. Adored. Respected. And y’know, in that one meet up, my date was that! He was a REAL MAN, which made me notice that I’d not only been looking in the wrong place for love, but i’d wasted a lot of my time, on ‘little boys.’ At 37 years old, I don’t need to be doing that!
When it comes to love…
…this time..because obviously i’ve been married three times and had numerous flings and relationships..I want to PROPERLY fall in love. I want it to be stable and forever…with no stress. No drama.
And I do want to just say, that even though on paper, i’ve dated, romanced, flinged, loved, married, divorced, sexed..and well…just all sorts, with men, all over the world.
DO KNOW THAT….
… I never did all that because I was a floozy. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions about me. I’m a love bunny. There were options. I was young. A glamour model. Off the telly…Growing up in Hollywood…All sorts.
Yet, I never was and still not a man eater. I’m non judgemental. I’m modern. Yet when it comes to love, I’m quite ‘fairytale.’ I’m quite traditional…I’m a hopeless romantic, with a capital ‘H.’
So, every single time, I went into these encounters, with men, boys, gents, or misfits..
I always hoped (like any girl or woman,) that they would love me forever.
It just didn’t and still hasn’t quite worked out that way….
It’s actually only when I suddenly realise, that they guy i’ve been chatting to, or dating, only see’s me as a ‘bed notch’ or someone they daren’t date… It was only THEN…at that point, when I HAVE to file the encounter under ‘casual,‘ and ‘take it on the chin,’ without being embarrassed.
So i’m accidentally, a sassy, sexy, modern day woman.
The ‘Brand’ goes alongside that….and that’s fine with me, as it makes me very ‘now.’ It gives me the necessary ‘street cred.’ I’m swag. I’m cool…I’m…Blah, blah….
You get it…
Y’see, when it comes to WORK, I am that. I’m fire. I’m determined. I’m ambitious. I’m a glamourous, kitty DIVA, sprayed over, in solid steel, showers of glitter. Champagne pops around me and naughty winks, fill my walk way…
When it comes to love…I’m the opposite.
I’m not someone who really wants random casual sex. I love sex. But i don’t play a numbers game. I want to feeel a connection.
Plus, If i’m honest, I can have sex with anyone… I have an inbox full of offers…almost every few minutes.
That doesn’t make me feel mighty. It’s flattering. I appreciate the ‘adoration..’ Of course I do….
If anything it stresses me out, because I think, ‘how the hell can I have so much attention and not find Mr.Right. That ONE MAN, who will truly love and treasure me forever?’
I’m ready to fall in love…
I’m just scared to….
It makes me anxious…
Away from all that…Sunday morning was great because before Meadowhall, I got to chatter to Lil’ Sam Reece. I shouldn’t call him ‘Lil’ as he’s pretty grown. He’s a good guy. I’ve referred to him as ‘Tats’ on this blog before.
I like waking up on a Sunday morning to a Reecy phone ‘ping.’ We’ll just have brief morning banter. ..then get on with life. We chatter in ‘spits & spots’ a lot. We both always have really shit love lives…We’re both ‘Yorkshire.’ We actually get on well. It’s easy. We wired the same way. We have the same banter.. This Sunday we talked ‘car bonnets/hotels and flat caps.’
I was actually gonna meet him for drinks..But I ended up doing Meadowhall instead and he ended up doing boy drinks…
But he’s a good guy. So I have a lot of respect for our Sam. He’s a good buddy…I’d see Sam as the kinda guy, i’d go for a drink with and kiss in the elevator when no one was looking. Haha!
(That hasn’t happened, by the way, before you all get excited. But i’d definitely kiss him in an elevator…It’d be a waste of ‘sexy’ people, if not. I don’t like to waste sexy people. You only live once.)
Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)
It is THE WEEKEND!!(Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…
is a SIN!!
I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!
Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*
I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. 😉 A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.
That is my business…LIFE.
(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.)
There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!
I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!
‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’
‘Wow, you parked like shit…’
Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…
Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.
YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.
And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.
Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.
Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.
Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!
Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’
Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!
So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.)
I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! 🙂 Junior said…
‘Why is he nuts?’ 🙂
But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.
He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’
Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’
Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many, not grown yet…..boys…’
Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love you guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’
Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’
Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’
And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.
Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.
I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. 😉 Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…
(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. 🙂 )
Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.
‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)
All good! Roll on Tuesday.
I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!
Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…
Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!