Tats, Dates & What I Fancy…..?

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Hiya!!! We’ve made it to FRIDAY!

FRINALLY, Baby!!!

(As my five year old son, Junior..would say. 😉 ) 

Grab ya best nipple tassles and get ya *shimmie* on point!! (Ruby, my daughter, would probably say that.)

It is THE WEEKEND!! (Well, almost.) But it’s important to have a weekend mentality, before it kicks in, because otherwise, you’re not only dull, like the broken custard cream at the bottom of the biscuit tin. You’re also not embracing the excitement, to come and that alone, in Wunna Land…

is a SIN!!

I love Fridays. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I have a Monday to Friday kinda job? I reckon I just enjoy celebrations of any kind. So fuck it. It’s FRIDAY! I’m in. I’m there!

Shake ya…*I’ll let you fill in the blank.*

I’m on rest today, due to my body being on the mend. I know, from my Insta story, it looks like I rest all the time. Hahah. But believe me, they’re just snippets of moments, that are filmed for YOU, either on the spot, but more often than not, FILMED PREVIOUSLY. 😉 A lot of work is going on behind the scenes in Wunna Land right now, with the old glammy career and the jazzy business of life.

That is my business…LIFE.

(..ofcourse done glamourously, with a dash of wit and showbusiness.) 

There’s telly, there’s modeling, running a company and influencing. Now that the babies are beginning to do their ‘ting,’ it’s doubley busy…But by the end of the month, they should be signing up to an agent, which will take a lot of pressure of MOI!

I have so much to do and I didn’t even have my morning GIN!!

‘It’s not like you to do a morning school run, without a wine in your hand, Chrissie. Haha..’

‘Wow, you parked like shit…’

Anyway!!!

Lots of you already know from following my ‘socials..’ But recently, there was a Wunna Fan, that wanted to get my attention, so offered up a game of dares, on my insta story, during my daily ‘Ask Me Anything’ thing. I went in all ‘Big Balls’ and dared him to get my initials tattooed upon him…

Yesterday morning, I found out that HE ACTUALLY DID IT. Hahah. I saw a video sitting in my inbox the evening before. I think it was Wednesday. I didn’t dare even look, so I left it until Thursday morning. Lol.

YESTERDAY, was actually a really good day. I felt really fun! I felt really sexy! I felt really appreciated by everyone. My Insta stories are getting really popular now, because i’m being more playful and putting my back into it, a little more.

Being ME

And as the tale goes, it seems the best thing you can do, is be yourself. I know that sounds cliched. But like I always say, no one in the entire world can do it better. Plus, at 37, I don’t want to be someone who’s always so worried about saying the wrong thing, or censoring the juicy bits, that make me who I am. Some brands don’t like it. Some do.

Therefore, I’m full blown committing to just letting loose and well, knowing what I’m doing. I don’t think people should tell people HOW TO influence something…They already know what works for them, their niche and their audience.

Fuck! I was meant to tell you about the Tattoo guy.

Yes! He wanted to win a date with me…and totally got my INITIALS tattooed on his thumbs!

Chick friend: ‘You literally have the best life…I can’t get my own husband to do the fucking dishes, let alone a stranger TATTOO ME on his thumbs!!’

Hahaha! Love it! Well done, Boy!

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So, now I can either go on a date with him, or subject myself to a dare. (One that he has already given to me, as an option.) 

I don’t ever learn do I? Fun, just gets the better of me…and that’s it. I’m a swine. But, to me, that’s what life is about. No one does it quite as well. Hahaha. I showed Ruby his tattoo and her face just dropped! 🙂 Junior said…

‘Why is he nuts?’ 🙂

Haha…

But, I think, it’s amazing. I was talking to my friend Liam about it yesterday. He’s just come off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show. I was doing the school run, with my phone to my ear in the playground, waiting for the kids, as I was telling him.

He was telling me about how he met some guy (he’s gay by the way,) in Bristol, bar labelled ‘OMG…’

Liam: ‘Chrissie, it was called OMG! for fucks sake! I saw this guy, he looked young, had a lip ring, so I ordered a jager bomb to be down with the kids and all that. I had to walk off afterward, because when I kissed him, all his friends cheered and I thought gosh, how young is everyone in here? He wasn’t even my type.’ 

Chrissie: ‘You need a man…not a kid. I like A MAN. I’ve dated too many,  not grown yet…..boys…’

Liam: ‘Put it this way, he wasn’t worth jeopardizing my type for…Hahah. I love you  guys, Chrissie…*Well, he’s not really successful and he definitely doesn’t look like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ magazine, but he seems lovely…* Hahahah!’

Chrissie: ‘This is why i’m always single…’

Liam: ‘Shit! You have that date next week, don’t you!?!’

And YES, I DO. But i’m not gonna call it a date, because I don’t know him? In fact, like HE first suggested…It’s a ‘Friendly’ meet up. Makes it sound lovely and less intense. You never really know, until you meet them, do you? A personality is KEY to me and it’s something that you can’t hide in person…even when you try to.

Can’t believe i’ve only just caught this clue…Lol.

I’m a personality girl now, in my old age. Lol. Yes, i’m still shallow. 😉 Yes, I LOVE ROMANCE. However, as long as I find them sexy, i’m good. I’m always gonna go on, how well someone treats me. How they make me feel. He’s been great, so far…He’s really humble and really ..decent to me…

(T Bone, IGNORED my last two messages. Cute. Lol. He keeps posting photos on his ‘story’ …of views. I’M A REALLY GOOD VIEW!!!! Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open…ANYTHING! HAHAHA. 🙂 ) 

But whatever…

Tuesday will be fun! It’s like an adventure and i’ll be heading to Liverpool.

‘The Gent’ (as i’ve been calling him,) has been quite attentive. He sent me a couple voice notes yesterday simply saying that he was looking forward to seeing me. Then he and caught me up, with what he did during the day with his son. (Awww.)

All good! Roll on Tuesday.

I’m in Doncaster all day tomorrow with Ruby & Junior…at The Frenchgate Centre. Hopefully, i’ll be seeing you there!

Ps/ Ruby saw a ‘sexy’ photo of me online this morning, by accident. It was just the one I posted this morning on my Instagram…She I only had stockings and a white faux fur on…and she said…

It’s like…

Thank you for following my diary. Be you. Live it! Do you! Be happy!

Chrissie x

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Trolling, Tales & Being a Single Mum

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Aw, I ‘tiny’ cried last night…as I watched my little boy, Junior fall asleep. The last words he uttered that night…were..

‘I love you so so much Mum.’

So, Junior finds the academic side of school, really difficult. He’s great at everything else. Just not with his literacy. Ruby FLIES. She’s like a whizz kid and excels at everything, above & beyond. Junior struggles to read and write fluently & now he’s older, he’s watching everyone around him grow & conquer their troubles. It’s really frustrating him. But he’s a being who keeps his real problems (even at five years old) to himself…

He laid in my bed last night, looking glum. I asked him what the matter was…

‘How’s school? Do you like your new teacher?’

Then for the first time, he really opened up and said…The room was dark and it was quiet…

‘All the words that my teacher is telling me at school, are really tricky. I’m finding it tricky Mum. I’m not good at them…and I think they only do tricky, at school. It’s really hard.’

(awww..)

‘Don’t worry baby.. The school already know you find it hard. I promise you, you’ll get it. One day, it’ll just happen & you’ll be able to read everything! You won’t even believe it! Everyone’s good at different things, and I know lots of things that you’re amazing at, so don’t worry…I used to be scared when I was younger and I never dare read out loud, incase I got things wrong….Now look! So no matter what…We’ll work through it all…’

‘I love you so so much Mum.’ 

Then he fell asleep…in my bed…as a tear trickled down my left cheek.

It’s weird isn’t it, when the people you care so much about, are privately struggling? The kids tell me everything. We’re such an open family. Yet Junior DOES find it hard to show his version of weakness…which I find weird? He’s only five years old? So, when he privately opened up to me, last night, it filled my soul, with joy and relief.

I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

A lot of people think they know, so so much about our little family…But what they don’t know is literally how close we truly, truly, are…and how we really couldn’t exist without each other. Our love for one other, runs so deep…it’s crazy! It’s fun, but  it’s intense. Lol.

My kids are SO emotionally grown because even though they’re only seven & five, they’ve been through a great deal. (I have also, therefore, I know exactly how to help them adjust. I know how to make them feel great.) So, in a way, and like all Mums, i’ve become their rock. They’re best friend. They’re light. They’re fun! The only person that no matter what, understands them.

I just got overwhelmed with emotion over Junior, last night…But he woke up a brand new boy…and that’s what my role as ‘Mama’ and bestie is.

Ruby: ‘Mum, I heard you tell Grandma about Junior being upset last night. I was doing that pretend sleeping thing, this morning…’

Me: ‘Just don’t mention it..’

She didn’t mention it, instead I watched her sneak off and totter into his room, half changed for school, where she then proceeded to make him laugh. He laughed so loud, he rolled on the floor in a fit of giggles..

Junior: ‘She always makes me smile.’

I think, I wrote about that, because I always want people to remember that i’m still human and that even though I’m ‘glamour pussing’ about. Y’know,dollying here, winking there and ‘living my best life’ as I selfie…I’m still just me and i’m still just a single mum, hoping to make all my dreams come true. Hoping that the babies live the most wonderful lives & hoping to one day fall in love…and be utterly treasured.

So, yeah, I’m working a lot, i’m shooting, i might be filming shortly. I’m running a business. I’m blogging. I’m sorting out my love life. My work life. I’m enjoying it all. I’m lucky as hell.

OH! God!

A couple of idiots decided to troll me last night on Twitter, simply because I influenced a bottle of water…Just Water UK. Owned by Jaden, Will Smith’s son.

YAWN!

‘Trolls’ are annoying because they’re never passionate about what they’re saying. (I like passion. A bit of Bazinga!) They’re simply ‘saying’ for a reaction. They try to find *niggles* in your manner, in hope to wind you up…in order to get a bit of attention.

Give you an example, I grew up being a Model, so people would assume that I care about the way I look. (And that would be true.) Therefore, they’ll go ahead and call me ‘ugly,‘ for kicks, in hope that I ‘bite.’ .

I don’t need to BITE, Honey!

I’m grown & laughing at ya.

The guy last night, was going on about the amount of makeup I wear…for no reason, just because he hates ‘Just Water.‘ He said he’d rather ‘drink his own piss’ than sip on my water of choice. Lol. (Beautiful.) Don’t take it out on me, because you hate water. And you can’t go on about how much makeup i’m wearing, when YOU look like you might need to borrow some! 😉 

However, it was just a ‘your ugly’ traditional (lol) jab.

Unfortunately for you, I made AN ENTIRE LIVING out of my attractiveness …So I’m pretty secure, when it comes to that department…In fact. I’m sorted, Boo. 😉

Byyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee! Just Water for EVEREERRRYONE!

Why don’t you play ‘Just Water Uk‘ phone tag, with my kids also! They’d appreciate the engagements. @rubyandjunior (Head over to their Insta.)

Douche.

‘Trollings’ just a bad way to get attention. Especially if you don’t mean what you’re saying. There’s like 3 million others ways to get attention…like have a talent, maybe? Wear a bikini? Be a success? Save the world? Cure the sick? Marry a Royal? Go on an Island to find love? Be beautiful? Be bold? Be sporty? Write interesting stuff?

The list is endless..

Daaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrling!

A ONCE good friend of mine, who wanted to do well, be on tv and be some superstar blogger…once ‘trolled’ me hideously. She properly went for it…after we did drinks one time, because she got too hungry for a bit of ‘look at me.’ Well, she actually got her friend to go ahead and ‘Troll’ me, yet thought i would be stupid enough to not fathom the plot. (I’m not stupid. I’ve lived this life for decades.)

I actually said nothing and sat back…after the ‘trolling..’ (You kinda have to, even though you should be able to stand up for yourself.) 

Luckily, I didn’t NEED TO. I didn’t need to say anything because from the moment she posted..I reposted……and it BACKFIRED ON HER...

Hundreds of comments littered in, like wild, cyber fire, ALL in support of Wunna Land ..and it made me feel great because I didn’t realise I had so much support? Everyone had my back. All my friends had my back, without me having to NEARLY ask, for support.

It was overwhelming…

I never spoke to that girl again, even though she denied it…If i saw her today, i would blank her…and i’m not like that. There’s only 3 people in the entire world who I would blank. One will remain nameless, the other is Ben (who I used to date years ago) and the trolling girl…because to me, they’re just not good people. I can’t be arsed with that.

I’m all glitter…

In a way, that little ‘moment’ where she tried to embarass me for attention…did nothing but show ME how much support I had and therefore made HER feel even more insecure about herself.

That’s why trolling isn’t great!

I’m not weak, i’m strong. (Especially when it matters!) I’m good friends with life. We’ve been through a lot. You come at me…Life saves me every time…

I was upset that she would’ve actually, sat down and thought about it all. THEN, in her heart, go with trying and use me, in a thoughtless & deceitful manner, in an attempt to gain ‘look at me.’

Tut! Tut! Me no likey!

That was a rant…

I’m off now, i’ve gone on too much, haven’t I! Haha.

I’m headed to my insta to answer your questions. I’ve kinda smashed today. I’m waaay ahead of schedule and I likey!

All my love,

Chrissie x

 

 

Flirts, Single Life & Custard…

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Yesterday was so much fun. Was it yesterday? Yeah…yesterday! I’ve literally been all over the land, working my merry tinker of a booty off and I’m feeling really lucky. I’m knackered though. God! It’s been trains, travel, bars, restaurants people, social media and deadlines…NON STOP. But i’m loving every second and I’m counting my lucky..stilettos?

They say, ‘Hard work pays off,’ and slowly, but surely, when it’s your turn to shine…it will. Everyone’s always in some kind of race…and you don’t need to be. You don’t need to compare yourself to someone else. They may be on Chapter 20, when you’re only on Chapter 1. ..and that’s fine. Just be inspired, hone your talent, enjoy every minute and push forward, whilst concentrating solely on what YOU’RE doing.

People will talk. LET THEM. 

Chrissiewunna.com ONLY became popular via people talking & gossiping about me. 😉

You’ll make your dreams come true, if you give the world something of value.

People never post their failures online…They tend to only talk about them, once they’ve made it big.  The good thing about this little blog, is that you live my triumphs and failures as I go along…

It’s human nature..

But preach over…Let’s chat…

I hardly slept at all yesterday. Ruby’s away on holiday with her Dad. Junior had an evening with his Father last night also.  I was all on my own, with my flipping meditation app and hated every second of not having the kids around me. (I like hearing them screaming in the background.) 

I’m so lucky right now, because I never feel alone, because of them. However, I dread to think what life would be like, when i’m really really old, if I stayed single and alone forever? I’m just not that kind of person. I don’t want that.  I don’t deserve that. I want to feel love and give love always. I’m just not willing to settle for ‘Mr.Anyone,‘ for the sake of ‘just because.’ I’d rather be alone than ever be with someone who wasn’t right!

I want that magic. That unconditional love that swirls through two people, who can’t help BUT be soul mates..

And i’m sure i’ll find it…It’ll pop out of nowhere, when I least expect it to…But like I said, I’m in no race. I’ll do my own story, at my own pace…I have absolute faith in my own version of life. I never know what’s going to happen to me in the end, I just know it’s going to be something wonderful…

I bumped into Passionate Jaz, Baby Tom & No Knicks yesterday afternoon, at the pub.

SUNDAY FUNDAY!

It was ace. Passionate Jaz, was hungover and needing carbs to survive another hour of life. She had fallen asleep on a really comfy bin, in town, enticed ‘Baby Tom’ with her sexiness..

‘You’re definitely *getting some* when we get home. 😉 ‘

Baby Tom, IMMEDIATELY orders a taxi (woo’ed by the debauchery.) He gets them home, straight away, at the speed of ‘I definitely have a boner’ light.  Then ONCE HOME,  Jaz, tells him off….

‘If you dare come near me or in this room…’

(Hahahah)

..and so he ends up just sleeping on the sofa, cuddling a bottle of Jack Daniels. Lol.

I love them. They’re my favourite couple. I love hanging out with them…and watching them eat nachos.

Jaz: ‘I do like custard?’

Me: ‘I like custard..’

Jaz: ‘I like rice pudding with jam on me..’

Tom: ‘Oh yeah. Her ship was leaking..Lol’

Jaz: ‘I was definitely on the sinking ship. His friends didn’t like me…’

Me: ‘I don’t  like Ben because he lied about me..’

No Knicks: ‘My ex cheated on me..’

Jaz: ‘Stop dating people you work with!’

Me: ‘It’s never really a good night if someone isn’t hysterically crying for or kicking off..’

Tom: ‘Owt for Nowt..’

Me: ‘There’s literally A MILLION SINGLE MEN in they city of LEEDS, ALL looking for love. Why can’t you find ONE, that DOESN’T work with you??

Tom: ‘I’ll have a pint of Peroni please..’

Jaz: ‘I want a Jam Roly Poly now…’

No Knicks: ‘I hate that i’m single…Please tell me that it’s going to be okay, because i’m 29, never been married with no kids.’ 

She’ll be fine though. I mean, ’29, never been married with no kids,’ is a much easier sell, than..

‘Hi. I’m Chrissie. I’m 37. Been married 3 times, oh and I have two babies… to two different guys.’

That is my first date banter…because I always feel like I need to get it out in the open STRAIGHT AWAY. I let THEM take it from there..Lol

I remember being sat in ‘The Swirls’ (do I still call him ‘The Swirl’ or should I call him ‘T Bone?) Anyway, it wasn’t this Easter, but the Easter before and I was sat on his sofa, after sex…in his apartment in Ipswich, with ‘Dinner Date’ on as telly background and to our right, was a GIANT canvas picture, with a half naked, abstract artsy lady painted on it. The canvas was LEMON and the lady seemed to be dancing? She looked all FREE….

T Bone: ‘That’s not mine. It was already here when I moved in.. Lol.’

Anyway, I told him the 30 something, married loads of times, two babies, to two different daddies spiel…

I did my usual *pause* afterward…(I always do it, to scan their face…)

The 30 something thing, didn’t bother him. He’s a younger 30 something than me. And even though he did look, a little taken a back, by my story…for a second…

He paused, tried to say something humourously sensible at me…Then pointed at the tv….in fact at Kim Kardashian, because an E Network Advert had come on…and said..

‘It’s only like her. She’s been married a couple of times…I think you’re great girl. I think you’re lovely.’

Smooooth. 😉  It was sweet of him to refrain from being judgemental. The less judgemental a guy is, the more i’m going to fancy him.

Me: ‘Well, it’s my story. I can’t help my story or my past. There’s nothing I can do about it, so people kinda just have to either love me for it or lump it..’

Anyway….

How did I get so distracted???

The rest of the yesterday, I sat with a table of guys…who were all on the gin after the races. A really good set of lads. Some were better at banter than others.. Then ‘Stringer’ sang ‘Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias, IN SPANISH…lovingly, into his fruity gin…

He was actually AMAZING…

He sang EXACTLY THIS…into his gin…whilst ordering Dominos.

Then we talked about Stag Do’s. How I was accidentally on HIS stag do. KatyP came back from a BBQ, with Golfer Jonny, the MOST PISSED I had ever seen her...Lol.

‘Holy shit! What happened to you, in that time???’

I hugged everyone…Then it was home time…I got home. Stripped down naked. Turned out the lights and online stalked the people I fancy, in bed… after Peroni’s. (Haha. Tragic. 😉 )

This morning I woke up from a Snapchat message from Big Brother 9’s Rex Newmark, who’s actually really good friend of mine. He pretty much said my outfit made me look like I was headed to a ‘rodeo’ 🙂 and then we mutually agreed that I looked like a hooker..

Rex: ‘Both good choices. Never a wives favourite though. Haha.’

Me: I’m NEVER a wives favourite!’

Rex: ‘When are you back in London. I want you to visit some of my restaurants…?’

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Because, I can’t stop thinking about you….

Morning!!! Things are great! I’m pumped. I’m busy. I’m excited. I’m the luckiest girl in the world. After a bad news phone call, I received a good news phone call and just like that, I swizzled in a flurry of glee.

Nothing’s better than feeling excited, is it? We live for those moments, always.

The buzz.

Yet, I guess always having faith in life and your own little story, kinda keeps you going. Surround yourself with love and wonderful people, who always have your back, even when you’re at your worst. When that happens, let me assure you that you are ‘ hand walked’ up another rung of the ‘happy’ ladder.

That’s where I am right now.

A lot of great things are happening and sometimes, I have to pinch myself to actually *pause* and realize everything is real.

If i’m being honest…

I can’t stop thinking about someone. Well, I say ‘someone,’ yet it’s the guy that I always referred to as ‘The Swirl.’ I kinda later changed his name to ‘T Bone.’ Yet, just recently almost every minute, of every day, he tinkers through my mind…and it’s great because every single ‘tinker’ is filled with a really happy memory. Not one memory is hideous.

It made me smile. I beamed.

So, I’ve started to look back and remember everything now. I remember it all, like it’s still ‘alive.‘ How can it still feel alive? There’s still a big flicker in my heart.

I remember the way he looked at me. I remember the way he smiled. I remember the way he made the effort to nurture me. I remember how much we laughed out loud to all sorts, for no reason.

I remember the moments when we were just sat on his sofa, making fun of goalies whilst we watched football. I remember us taking the piss out of each other. I remember falling asleep, as we held each others hand.

‘It’s just so perfect…’

‘It’s just so easy…’

‘I’ve loved having you here..’

I remember all of our messages. I remember ALL of our messages. Lol. Even the naughty ones. 

Yet, the funny thing about it, is that i’m still very single and I’m still really calm. I don’t know what I’m feeling? However, right now, if I could have a guy to call my own…based upon how i’m feeling right now….

It would be him…

Everyone seems to pale in comparison…Everyone else seems really dramatic, instead of emotionally stable. Rude, instead of kind. Not the right kind of fun…or just….Well just…

However, of course, in Wunna Land…tales are never that easy, are they? He’s no where around. I mean, he’s a message away, yet certainly not close by.

(That never bothers me though. I’m a grown up. I believe in love. And Like I said to Sam Reece, when he was doing my hair, a couple months back….)

‘Love isn’t geography…It’s chemistry.’

And you can always FEEL A CHEMISTRY, if it’s there, even when your a zillion miles apart.

But yeah, about ‘The Swirl.‘ Something tells me, regardless as to where we’re at right now….Something just tells me…that a gust of magic wind, will blow us together and make our life paths cross more closely again.

I can just feel it..

(OR, i’m delusional? lol 😉 Who knows??)

Today i’m on rest, I’m having a chill and a family day, to actually catch up and blog, as I have a busy week of ‘Leeds’ ahead of me, for the Eat Leeds shindig. Sometimes, when you’re out and about all the time, just finding the time to have a sit down and write everything out, is impossible. But i’ve got it. I’m smashing it. I’m literally loving every single second.

Plus, I’m thoroughly grateful for all the support i’m getting and I couldn’t tell you enough. So again, no matter where you are in the world, thank you so so much for finding a moment to click into Wunna Land and follow my version of life.

Message in…

Firmonnell: ‘Are you free for drinks and food at Ego, tonight?’

I’m picking your questions at random and loving answering them all on my Insta Story. (Get following.) It’s fun, even the naughty ones.  However, everyone does keep asking me love life questions, which I don’t mind, (even all my exes, who could simply message me personally.) And right now, my MOJO is on point. It’s crazy. Regardless, to how i’m feeling about ‘The Swirl.’

Y’know, the weird thing is, that over the last year, I’ve noticed that I’ve become more and more ‘hush hush’ about the nitty gritty parts of love life, than I usually am? Even with my friends, in bars over drinks. I’ll blush (I don’t blush) and charm my way out of it with wit.

Yet, I’m a blogger and i’ve always lived my life quite publicly via this diary, this blog, for over 10 years now. So, it’s a big change, to want to keeps things quiet.

I’ve learnt a few lessons of recent and treasuring something that means so so much to me..when it happens, because I am still very single, (my love life always DOES matter to me because firstly I’m a love bunny and secondly it’s a part of my life that I never seem to be able to conquer.)

But more and more, i’m holding things tight to my chest, privately. Not because I’m guarded. I couldn’t be more open. Yet because I want it to be right. I want to find the man of my dreams. He would mean so much to me. And i’m not going to be able to find him, and nurture a relationship around gossip.

Saying that, work wise, I’m influencing a lot, i’m filming ‘Welcome to Wunna Land’ for IG. I’m about to tinker back onto your tellies very shortly…and during those times everything turns public, simply because (if i’m being honest..and anyone in the business will tell you) it’s really good PR.

You kinda have to be out there…and I DO really enjoy every inch of all the *bazinga.*

I’m built for it.

I don’t know what’s happening right now, but like i said, my ‘milkshake’ is accidentally bringing ALL the boys to the yard, right now. Dudes are coming at me, at full force from all angles, and all over the world…with everything they’ve got.

It’s such a funny thing, isn’t it? I mean, when you feel all needy and want love *hashtag* now…ain’t nobody cares to tinker and in and adore you. However, when you’re all chilled and dandy and secure with your singleness…the boys come a thundering, wrapped in charm and that good old snazzy persistence..

I do like persistent though. I also like forward GENTLEMEN. And I say GENTLEMEN, because a dick pic isn’t going to tug on my heart strings ever.

(A random German footballer tried to have a racy shot at Wunna Land, two nights ago, by coming at me, with an offer of sex. Dudes shouldn’t ever offer a girl, their body,as a treat before a ‘Hi, there.’ Lol. It’s the most unromantic thing ever…)

and I am a HOPELESS ROMANTIC.

That was first message he ever sent me and because he step with his romantic foot forward, I just pied it off politely, by pretending I was really tired.

I left him to slide into someone else’s DM’s.

What i’m always looking for is a handsome best friend, a bantery, fun, gentleman, a sexy one, who knows how to have a good time. Someone who can enjoy both the finer things in life, as well as a slummy ‘chill fest.’ A man who at the same time, as all that, is protective, loyal, romantic, knows how to look after a girl and is an utter and complete family man.

IS THAT YOU?

If so, apply within. Lol.

(Where are all the Hero’s at??)

 

All Hot. All Bothered…..

Image may contain: one or more people, sunglasses and close-up

I am BOILING! It is RED SEXY HOT and we can’t even handle it. We moan when it’s freezing. We moan when it’s roasting. So I guess, we as jolly little humans, like with everything that we fancy, prefer it when things are just ‘alright,’ as anything too extreme gets to us. Lol. It must! 🙂

Now, I like it hot. I’m exotic. I’ll always prefer to be warm than cold. I have the ‘Burmese’ running through my veins with a dash of the West Hollywood sun tan. I can take a whole lot of sunshine and wink at it for more.

I’m in Yorkshire. (Which is where I was born and raised until I was around 19) and even I can’t take the heat right now….I’m a glamour puss. I glow. I don’t sweat. And I KNOW something must not be quite right, as I am certainly looking for a breeze! I can’t find one anywhere. I might melt into toffee at this rate. AND I WORE A DRESS THAT SQUASHED MY BOOBS IN ALL DAY. In heat…you need free fun boobies.

Nothing has really happened if i’m honest. I have a chilled out June and a busy July. ‘Firmonnell’ was naughty. I got done for swearing. Mel committed tot he executive decision of being hormonal and ‘Fairytale’ blond got her leg out. ‘Double B’ also decided to dress like she was going to a FUNERAL in the middle of our heatwave.

‘What you never know when you might need to pop over to one? I’m dressed and ready.’ 

Other than that, I literally have nothing else to report because i’m far too hot and bothered. I’m sat on my bed NAKED, with my boobies chilling out, my hair tied up on a scruffy ‘up do,’ with every window in the entire home open and no breeze in sight. I even have someone coming to read my tarot cards in a second. She better come with Pina Coladas or ice packs.

Everything’s going well. Life is pretty good. I’m just sweaty. 🙂

I will tell you that I AM SWIRLING.  Oh, LORD I am in a mad, mad, crazy swirl. A perfect swirl of utter deliciousness. I can’t even believe how lucky I am. I feel like a little girl, but one that finally grew up and after a ton of really rubbish times where Cupid had super shit aim….he finally cut me some slack, felt bad for me and pulled his diaper together. I don’t think I will ever, in my life, be this lucky again. That’s how great I feel. And it’s okay to tell everyone that you feel that way. I mean fuck it, right now, i’m telling the world…because it shows people that you aren’t afraid to be you, that you aren’t afraid to be human and that you bloody do care! Nothing is lovelier than that. I watch so many people be terrified to say how they feel about things…and it makes me CRINGE. That is not the way to live life, i’m sure. It’s certainly not the way to BE YOU or to embrace the things that you love. Go with it! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. No matter what.

I’m an expressive girl. I’m an open girl, but I’m a picky girl. But you’re a long time dead, so you need to enjoy everything that makes you beam, without fear. I’m all for that. And if you just keeps things simple, it’s amazing how far you can get.

I’m off now, I’m too hot and bothered to write. Plus, if i don’t wear a bra, i’m scared my boobies will go dangly. I’m definitely sure I can’t rock the ‘spaniel ear’ look.

Love you,

Chrissie

 

 

Friday Hoopla, Gino’s & Da Ladies

Yay! Espresso Martini’s for everyone! It is fucking Friday! Technically, this week the Friday ‘Hoopla’ means nothing to me as I’m working ALL Saturday,  (YIPEEEE.) Yet I’ll let you all enjoy your *can can.* I’m one to start the party, not poop at it.

I’m feeling positive and refreshed. I’m smashing my diet, thanks to ‘Fairytale’ and Hustle Barbie. YOU’RE ALL going to jelaous of me in a bikini. I’m not saying that I think i’m fat. I’m saying that I have wibbly bits that might need a *jiggle* off…I’m quite a vain person, so it has nothing to do with my health and everything to do with looking good! Lol. And yeah, you may think that is shit, but it’s not. I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood and my entire career at that point was making money from ‘looking good.’ It’s healthy to shake off ya wibbly bits. Especially when ‘Firmonnell’ says I an have a rum.

‘Honestly, it’s better for you than wine.’

I’ve had to change my mental state of thought, because ‘Hustle’ and ‘Fairytale’ are actually shit at making me just eat leaves. (They’re already skinny, so it doesn’t matter to them.) They’re all..

‘Lets have a bun’ here…’I really need a biscuit’ there…’Chrissie banana bread is just like brown toast with banana on it. It’s good for you.’

‘IT’S FUCKING CAKE!’

So ‘Firmonnell’ and I have made the executive decision TO LET THEM eat cake.

‘Eat it my pretties…’

That way, when we’re supermodel skinny and flouncing around like the happy chick on the Bodyform beach commercials, they’ll be fat…and that will make me happy. 🙂 I’ll look like a Michelle Keegan in a bikini and they’ll look like Stavros Flatley. (Everyone made fun of my Ellen Degeneres Girl Crush yesterday. I don’t get why people don’t see the attraction? If i could marry any woman…it would be HER!)

‘Well yeah, she is funny Chrissie…’

‘NO! She’s hot! It goes waaaaaaaaaay beyond funny. Lol.’

I’ve confused myself really because i’m definitely very straight but GOD, I fancy Ellen. Lol. I’m not even kidding. I adore her. AND she follows me on Twitter!

I’m feeling a bit rough today. I did after work cocktails simply because it was THURSDAY. Not sure why I thought that was such a good idea? However, everyone must have jumped on the bandwagon because the place was RAMMED. In Leeds…everyone votes for cocktails through the week. Which reminds me…I forgot to actually Vote for the Prime Minister. Lol. Fuck it. I voted ‘Pornstars.’

I have lots going on but i’m happy. It feels chilled and in control. This week is a busy one…and during my spits of time off (which is only Sunday) I have a morning coffee with ‘Inadequate Chris’ (he’s a Snapchat star and does these really funny videos.) He messaged me yesterday to see if we could come up with a collabo. We’ll be doing La Bottega Milanese in Leeds, at around 10.30am? Can’t remember what time I said?

THEN I meet the girls, my besties, my dolls (we’ve had our private text messages ‘LIVE’ for the world to read all week and it’s been so fun. We’re almost at the end of our 10 day ‘Chrissie in the City’ stint…Yet we’ve done and are doing so well, that it’s going to get picked up, revamped and moved forward.’ App show here we come. The future is all about Social Media and we’ve accidentally got ourselves a future HIT..if we do it right.)

Anyway, what was I saying? Chris at Bottega? Yes, on Sunday at 1pm, all us girls are meeting up and kicking back to enjoy a prosecco dripped, cocktailed lunch at one of my favoruite Leeds haunts Gino’s. It is owned by the very famous Gino ‘D’acampo. I did his live show. I chatted to him about life. I’m goign to the opening of the Harrogate restaurant. I wrote the infamous blog on his joint (the first time that I visited.) It swirled through the head honchos and D’acampo offices. I now have a Black card…and the girls and I are going to treat ourselves to the finest pasta, cocktails in all the land of Leeds….and glare at delicious Italian waiters…as we get very glamourously pissed.

I want one of Mel’s kittens!

(I love that I’ve just seen a picture of my friend Katty stood by a ‘Polling station’ sign with the words…

THEY SEE ME POLLIN’ ….THEY HATING…’ underneath it. 

Hahahaha! DYING.That’s what life’s about.)

I’ve run out of foundation, had no time to buy any, my hair extensions are falling to pieces and i’ve forgotten to watch Love Island. UGH! FFS! What is life!

 

 

 

 

Succeeding On Purpose….

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. You can do anything. And I don’t mean that in a cliched ‘Yeah, you can’ cheerleader kinda way, I really mean it. Put your mind to ANYTHING, work really hard to get there, keep your goal in focus, be great at what you do (which is important…don’t forget to be great at what you do, or get great at it ) and go for it.

People who are different to you, will sometimes make you think that what you’re trying to achieve is impossible. They’ll laugh at you. Put you down. Tell you that…

‘..it’s impossible.You’re stupid. You’re impossible. You’re stupid…’

But you’re not. It’s baby steps. And I guarantee that if you take the right steps and you have faith in your own ability to achieve, without taking a single bit of notice of those who have alternative dreams to you and do not believe in your cause, (we’re all different and that’s what’s great about us,) you will not ONLY GET THERE…but when you do, those same people will be telling THEIR friends a story of how they knew you, know you, met you or were with you. I cannot tell you how many times i’ve watched and witness that happen.

Dreams come true everyday. Don’t get it twisted.

The only reason why i’m writing this blog, is that sometimes I get so caught up in telling you the story of my own world, which is what I do and what I love to do…that I forget to hit *pause* and inspire you. Right now, I’m being called an ‘internet sensation’ (lofty title) and ‘internet sensations‘ have a voice, don’t they? More than I realized….

There are times when I’ll get so swirled up in a cocktail dripped glitter and a bound of naked leap frogging stories, my good times with friends and the ups and downs of my own life, that I forget to tell you that I made something out of nothing, just by being so dedicated to it and purely out of love. You can do the same! But only if you want to. If you don’t, then fuck it off and enjoy the sunshine. 🙂 But then don’t moan when other people make their dreams come true, because you prioritized inefficiently. Lol.

Back in the day…people use to say to me ALL THE TIME, when only a tiny handful of people would check into chrissiewunna.com daily and they’d ramble on about why I bothered doing it…I was called all sorts…openly. Really awful stuff actually. Lol. But I didn’t care, because at that time, years and years ago…I didn’t even know why I was disciplined enough to write it everyday? I just loved doing it. I loved telling my story. That’s all I knew…that’s why I did it. It still makes me happy.

YEARS ON…that little blog on Myspace, that I used to write on display computers at the Apple Store at The Beverly Center in LA, ended up being some ‘hit.‘ It shocked me even! But I’ve worked hard. Infact, i’ve stopped agreeing with people who say that the blog has been a success by accident. Lol. Ten years is a long time to have been dedicated to something almost everyday. Surely I get a pat on the kitty back for that! 😉

The greatest thing about telling your story, is that no one in the entire world can do it better than you. Not one other person can be better at it, than you.

I get to speak freely, live openly and enjoy my world and story. I’m never afraid of what people think about me. I’m confident girl. More girls should be confident. I want to inspire that. I’m never afraid to say what I think about things, situations, people or places. I write a positive, good humoured blog. I’m warm by nature because i’m happy.

If people read something about me that shocks them…Well, that’s been my life. What can I do about it? All you have is your story. What else do you have? There’s been bad moments. (Which makes me human.) But there’s be GREAT MOMENTS and I’m living a GREAT MOMENT NOW!

If more people believed in themselves and didn’t act upon what others thought of them….things would be better. I don’t just mean that in work and business. I mean, you also see it in love..when girls or guys change who they are, or manipulate their natural personality in dying hope that the object of their desire will like them more. IT DOESN’T WORK IN THE LONG RUN. And i’m only saying it because I’ve done that in the past. Ofcourse I have. But i’m not a kid anymore sat infront of my laptop with a ‘Dear Diary..’ tag line, widdled in natural, growing up, ‘please love me‘ insecurities. Lol.

I’m all grown up  now and I grew up fast emotionally because I had to…. so much shit happened to me, both good and bad…and let me tell you it feels GREAT!

Nothing feels better than the way I feel now, and I wish I could bottle it up and sell it to you, like zillions of people say they can, with ‘self help‘ books this and ‘aid you with life’ that.

But I can’t. No one can. Why? Well, because you kinda have to go through your own story, your own ups and own downs and champion through your own version of life, to get to a place where you can finally kick off your kitten heels and feel comfy.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t so something…

You’ve got it in ya….Find your thing and go for it…

🙂

Ps/ Just as i’ve been writing this, a friend has messaged me saying…

‘Wunna you’re so jammy. As if you’ve managed to finally have an entire career where you just get paid for existing and telling people about it.’

I think I deserve a prosecco!

PPS/ The above picture was one of the shots that was captured by Clare Pritchard, I blogged about my shoot with her and how amazing she was at getting you to tell a story, via your eyes, your soul, your snapshot. That day I became her ‘Fallen Angel’ and you can tooooo! She is the MOST TALENTED photographer around and I have shot with SO MANY PEOPLE all over the entire world. Who knew that the best one, was right on my doorstep!

clarepritchardphotography.com

PPPS/ I had a wobble today, so I messaged Jack Parsons who i’m lucky to know and meeting again for business in July. He is currently listed in the TOP TEN Digital Leaders of the year! In five minutes he turned my ‘wobble’ back into confidence. It is important that you have ‘go to’ people for those of times of ‘wobble.’ Find them. They’ll help you. And not because they benefit from you, but because they actually care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dreams Come True, New Brands & Jelly Babies

I’ve had a great day and it feels so good saying it because if i’m honest, over the last couple days, i’ve felt shit. I’ve really sort of doubted myself and let my kitty mind get into a fucking tizzy. I got myself in a mood and surrendered to an odd case of the blues. (That’s why there was not blog.) Feeling like that is normal. So if you have days of the same kinda fashion..KNOW that you’re not weird, you’re human. But it really is only temporary. It is impossible for you to feel that shit all the time. But by all means, feel it. Have a wine. Feel it some more. Get over it. But be around positive energies. When you’re really passionate about things and want to do well, yet don’t play nicely with the art of patience, it’s hard to stay calm and all ‘coolio.’

But i’m back and i’m ace and I couldn’t be more fucking GLAD. I sent a Twitter DM to ‘Yourfeed Jack’ who is REALLY great at reining Wunna Land in and forcing me to believe and focus.

Jack: You can! What does success look like? You’re getting overwhelmed with all the possibilities and not knowing what the core is.’

I read this as I was stuck in traffic in Pontefract, by the Kings school at 8.34am.

After a few moans and moments of stress..I pulled myself together and with a..

‘Yeah..you’re right, I feel better now I forgot that I knew what I was doing, but yeah…I actually do. Lol. Yay!’

I pulled my sassy socks up and got on with it. From that point on…and whilst surrounded by the best chicks friends ever…i SMASHED IT.

Y’see the thing about this ‘dreams come true’ malarky is that you have to be emotionally sound enough to jolly the ride. I’d say i’ve been lucky enough in life, to have a lot of dreams come true. Not always…it would be a lie to sugar coat it, yet i utterly realize how great i’ve had it at times…and I appreciate it because of the struggly bits. The shit parts. I’ve achieved a lot, so much that I won’t believe it until i’m a granny, rocking and knitting and telling my stories to strangers on streets, with a rum. (I WON’T SMELL OF WEE.)

But you can start off with loads of ‘dreams come true’ early on and then suffer through nothing. OR start off with nothing and experience ‘dreams come true.’ (Which i think is better.) Either way…as long you have a good grasp of life, balance and reality, the ability to adapt and have decent people with you who ‘focus’ you, when you gleefully throw yourself down that panic slide with your arms in the air and a ‘weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,’ you’ll be fine. ADAPT! Get on with it. Get what life is about. Partner up well, so you’re not with a dickhead who makes you emotionally feel like a dollar, instead of a trillion dollar big bucks. You’re gonna need a team mate. Don’t get that part twisted. It’s love that makes the world go around…not a Lamborghini.

After my pep talk, I got into mode…a good mode…a swinging strut mode and fuck it, from that point onwards..I booked all sorts! EVERYTHING! I cleaned up with glitter winks. I had opportunity swinging from my nipples tassels because I believed I could do it. So don’t let anyone tell you that you CAN’T do something. If someone doesn’t believe in you, don’t worry, work hard…they will. THEN YOU’LL have the choice to decide if you can be arsed to to deal with them, when you’re waving your sexy success flag. That relates to work AND love. Be the BEST VERSION of yourself.

I had an exciting 12 noon phone call today. Oddly, I was stood outside part of a castle that was mixed in with a church..and I was on the phone to a new brand that I’m wanting to work alongside. They said that they were huge Wunna fans. ( I love that.) I then looked at what they did, and it shocked me because I BECAME FASCINATED with what they had created. I wanted a deal. They called me at noon, as I stood in a turtle neck in the sun, outside a church..and everything got so exciting, I almost burst. I can’t wait to meet them..

‘So, Chrissie, i’ve just been handed all this paperwork on you, that I feel like I KNOW absolutely everything about your life. I actually can’t believe how much is on my desk about you.’

Me: ‘I just want you  to know that I couldn’t be more excited about what you’re doing and I absolutely WANT to be a part of it all. It’s going to be HUGE.’

The day was ace after that point…so your mindset and having great people, friends or motivators around you mean everything. It changes the way you samba.  I sorted my shit out after that point…and I knew that I could do it.

This year, ‘The Gods’ have shimmied some crazily successful people in my path…People who have all at some point made their dreams come true. I haven’t caught the hint previously, as wine runs through my system…YET, I’m getting it now and i’m certainly not distracted by nonsense. Don’t be distracted my nonsense. Have fun, but keep your eye on the prize. (And maybe buy a kitten. I feel like all good people have a cat.)

I smashed all these random brand deals today because i forced myself to dance to the beat, instead of throwing a pity party. I now have a book relaunch this year. (It’s the same as the one before, yet this time it will be rebranded, reshot, renamed, relooked at and delivered appropriately…and I’m organizing a tour. FUCK IT YEAH! Pull ya socks up dolls. Get with it.)

Then I was forced to hide Jelly Babies from Mel, as Firmonnell put them in my drawer, after sh heard Mel had put on a pound or something at her slimming world weigh in. In the end I gave her them anyway. I mean fuck it..(and i’m currently on a diet) but sometimes a chick’s just got to eat a bag of Jelly Babies. I used to hate them as a kid, but now I love them. It’s weird because when I was a teen, I was a really good ice skater and loved it. (ANYONE who was born in the 80’s and also born in Doncaster is good at ice skating. That’s all we could do for a pastime.)  BUT NOW, i’m terrified of a skate around. I feel the fear. Even my best friend Kat, who I did the Paris Hilton Show with on ITV2, ( yes…she is no longer with us and chose to leave life tragically…We were really similar, but just dealt with things differently..I think about it all  a lot. I’ve thought about her all night. She just wanted to feel love. I remember being fresh off the show and getting that call from Samuel to say that she had killed herself. I was on Edgware Rd in London outside the Hilton…and like the twat that I am, all i could think to do was call her phone continuously, in hope that she would answer. I even left her a voicemail. She wasn’t even alive. I loved her so much…yet I didn’t even cry until 3 months after when it hit me. It was an odd time, as I was living this weird, new celebrity ‘reality star’ lifestyle…and a person that i had just gone through the entire new chapter with…had found it all so difficult. The last thing she ever said to me, face to face, as we didn’t have a phone call afterward, was whilst we were at The Mayfair Hotel in London, with Paris Hilton, in her suite. weeks after filming the show. She couldn’t turn a tap on because she was so trashed and she turned to me, as we discussed my love life and told me that i’d know when I found the man of my dreams because he would re..teach me how to ice skate. I’ve told that story numerous times before. I’ve never yet met a boy who offered to do that. Lol. They offer a lot of things…but not a skate sesh.

I have nothing but good memories of that girl. A girl who was totally misunderstood at times. But I got her. I got it. And I showed her strength..when she felt weak. HOWEVER…not when she needed it the most…because I was so busy being a ‘star.’)

Tonight, I did nothing but enjoy what I have. I laid in bed with my baby buntings Ruby and Junior and like every night, when I snuggle them in, (because they also spend nights with their daddies, which is so important for their balance) everything hits pause for a while, as the world turns and we just talk about life. I ask them both individually about their day, what went on, how things made them feel…how they’re currently feeling…and they’ll ask me questions in return. I’m a laid back Mum, so I let them tell or ask me ANYTHING. I encourage them to express…

‘Mum, are you Chrissie Wunna?’

‘Am I a Youtube Baby?’

‘Why are your boobs like that?’

‘I can’t kiss older boys when i’m only six, can I?’

‘I love you mum..’

If I could give you any advice it would be to believe that you can do anything. Go for anything you want to do! When you doubt yourself, ask for help to get you back to ‘jolly’ so you believe you can. Dreams come true. Not all of them, but most of them if you try hard enough and focus. I see it happen everyday. Be who you want. Embrace it. Love who you want. Hide Jelly Babies. But most of all, DON’T WORRY.. Don’t worry about your future. Go with the natural grain of your talent and where life takes you. Anything can happen. I mean fuck! I’m making a name for myself right now (and i’ve done a lot of things 😉 ) by simply writing a diary of my life…It’s one story our of billions…but it seems to be working?

In this day of age, you can make anything happen….Have great people around you. Believe your not shit.

All will be okay….I can always feel it. There’s a magic in the air.

Message me on Instagram today. Chrissiewunna.

 

 

 

 

 

Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

Cocktails, Banter & Love History

Double B: ‘Yeah but you’re always hung over on a Saturday…’

Firmonnell: ‘I still come in and DO WORK. Anyway, fuck off!!! YOU CAN’T TALK when you’ve once walked into work looking like a 192o’s DISHWASHER!!!!’

Double B: ‘Chrissie? Is this YOUR passport?’

(Shows me a passport of a young Chinese man…)

‘…just thought it was you without your weave in…’

Me: ‘LOL. Why are you ALL dickheads??? Anyway, shut up, i’m texting… Potter says he’s *got me sussed…?* What is he even on about?? Got me sussed? Like i’m some kind of …’

Double D: ‘Look at you. You just love all the attention. You need it now that you’re old..’

Me: ‘What the actual fuck! Leave me alone. Leave me in my granny corner to be old and quiet.’

Double D: ‘It’s just banter… GOD!!’

Me: ‘Hmmm…well I don’t like it. I’m sensitive…’

There is a *PAUSE*

Then as I peeked at Firmonnell via my little kitten eye..we literally burst into a hysterical, mid blowing belly chuckle! A chuckle so hard that we literally flung our heads back and maybe did LITTLE WEES in our Ann Summers/Bridget Jones frillies.

I have the greatest chick friends…they sort of worship me and ground me all at the same ‘abusive’ time. 🙂 You need your life soldiers. Ya chicks in heels. We support each other to the moon and back and even though we banter away with inappropriate humour, sassy tongues, tears or tantrums at times…. (It’s just what ‘us northerners’ do…) Alongside that, we build each other up so greatly, that there’ll never be a page in our diaries that reads, ‘I just never felt good enough..’

This chapter of my life is the changing chapter, yet it is currently a GREAT ONE. I’ll always remember it…Sort of like I remember my first ever LA chapter…when I arrived at LAX with nothing but a suitcase and my fingers crossed, as the warm air hit me. I also remember that in that time…I fell in love…It ran through my mind as I drove home yesterday after work. I haven’t spoken to Mikey (who was my first husband, when we were kids in LA, trying to be future success stories) and i’m someone who’s always really great with my exes. I’m apparently always ‘the one that got away.’ *Rolls Eyes.* I’m joking…Lol…I’m good friends with a lot of my exes and I do mean JUST FRIENDS. Not all of you though. Some of you I really do think are utter planks. 🙂 You know who you are…*POINTS FINGERS.*

Anyway, I thought about that time merrily because it was such a pure time before the birth of ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ so to speak. I was so innocent then and in that time I couldn’t have met a more perfect ‘team mate’ to do life with. So even though we don’t speak…and I there’s a HUGE STORY to tell…There’s years worth of stories that no one will ever know about and I don’t tell the stories because it kinda overlaps with certain things, that were going on in my life at that time…and well I respect him enough to keep it bundled as a silent ‘memory bubble,’ that we’ll both have.  We didn’t quite get the correct closure…I’d say. One day, when I see him.. I’ll get that. During that time, if we didn’t go our separate ways, he certainly wouldn’t have become the success he is today…and well…neither would I. We were young and to be honest it’s kinda the Hollywood way….

But yes, as I drove home yesterday early evening, I smiled because during that early LA chapter, I kinda looked back and thanked him for making me feel like the most loved girl in the entire world. He respected and treasured me. Some girls go through their entire lives never getting to feel that…I mean GOD, I don’t even nearly feel like that right now…But it was so important that it popped into my head because it reminded me of a very happy LA chapter (as it did go a bit dodgy from that point, but that dodginess was essential to my making 🙂 ) and it also reminded me that in life anything can happen when it comes to love…and sometimes it can just ‘Jack in a Box’ you out of nowhere. If you’ve felt true love, you can feel it again….and if you ARE single, be you young, in your 20’s, fourties or an aging, independent thirty something glamour puss 😉 know that there’s this AMAZING guy, who will pop out of nowhere and treasure you. One that you’ll actually fancy! I know!!! No, I haven’t had rum! You don’t have to wait it out..you just have to get on with being your fabulous self…and that imaginary Knight will gallop on in and sweep you off your fucking budget Louboutins.

I don’t know why i’ve gone on about all that, because that’s not at all what I wanted to chat about?? I was gonna tell you all about how important blogging was and how organised and feisty I am now and how I’ve become so focused. How I’ve decide to work with some amazing new brands. I needed to do my Laura Bartlett blog. ( I loved her.) How so much is happening and it’s all very exciting…work wise.

I mean, it all goes back to that meeting that I had with Jack Parsons. It put me in ‘check’ and organised me mentally. He has been one of the most inspiring people i’ve met so far this year, because he actually helped me. I need some help. Lol. ALL THE HELP. But no, right now, when it comes to my brand/business, I’m in a powerful place where I’m gonna need mentoring and at the same time so ‘big boys’ to step in and make Wunna Land MASSIVE. Jack is going to be good at this. I can feel it in my sassy bones. He’s on his way up to the stars and still has the ability to remind me that I can smash it. I’ll remind him of that when we’re both ‘chilling it’ on the Forbes list. 😉 At least he has an office. I want a fucking office!

But i’ll tell you all about work some other time. I guess my mind just wanted to tell you a love story instead?? FFS.

Hope you’re having an amazing weekend. I’m enjoying a really chilled one with my babies ‘Ruby & Junior.’ They rinsed me at the toy store, we’ve lunched and mocktailed at Ego, in Ackworth. (I go there a lot. It’s local to me.) I’m loving my weekend, as usually i’m dashing about having to ‘jump on a train‘ this…or ‘leap to the next platform‘ that. There’s not been much ME time or…well it’s all been fucking stressful. 🙂

Feeling chilled is my favourite…Maybe because by nature my soul is so WILD. When it comes to the days that I choose peace, I treasure them like those red flavoured fruit pastels. I’m happy. My kids are happy. Everyone i’m working with is happy. I’m doing well and now on a ‘not so ropey’ success ladder. I’m strutting up it like i’m Fred Astaire in tap shoes.

*Throws you a wink and a pout*