Ruby, Life Lessons & A Big Old Week

Today I’m feeling great. Didn’t think i’d be feeling as great as I do to be honest, as my evening was filled with bad dreams and scary bits of fear. How delicious right?

Funny thing is, I decided to wake up, gleefully chill for a second, relax about life and pressure because being stressed about anything is a waste of your actual time….remember that…. it gets you know where, but in a tizzy…Then I got up and got on with life with a smile.

Yeah, I have a lot of work on, yeah I’m under pressure, yeah it’s going to be a little bit of an emotional week for me, as Junior, my littlest takes on his the ‘First Day of Big School’ on Wednesday. (When that happens to your tiniest, you just ‘well up’ with emotion and you have no clue why? It springs out of nowhere? For me, his entire life will just flashback before me…It’s like a milestone…You can’t believe how time as flown and how you’ve AT ALL managed to keep them in one piece for FOUR WHOLE YEARS! Lol)

But yeah…all of the above….everyone’s going through it. Everyone’s going through the exact same thing. Some of us will do with grace, some of us will do with with a smile, some of us will stress and some of us will not be able to handle it. You decide which path you want to tinker down. It’s like a catwalk…you form your strut and you go for it. But like i said, we’re all going through the same thing…So it makes me less special and more normal. Infact no, it’s makes us all special, as special is the new normal. More people need to appreciate the life that they have. It’s not shit. It’s great. You’re doing better than you think you are!

Yesterday was great. I had a lot of work to do, an audition and all my book to write. The babies were off to ‘Sunday with their Daddies.’ Junior got to Keiran with easiest of ease and as Pete (Ruby’s Daddy) was running late…Ruby tugged at my arm, beckoned me down to her mouth for a whisper and simply said in the most gentlest manner,

‘Mum….do you think it would be okay, if I didn’t go to my Dad’s just yet and instead do lunch somewhere with you. I’d really like that.’

I think she needed that. We go back a long way Ruby and I. πŸ˜‰ We’re life team mates. We’ve both been through a lot emotionally. And sometimes, she just needs a moment with me….where there is just us, no one else and the world a blur around us.

Yesterday, Ruby and I had our ‘Mummy/Daughter’ day and it was perfect. We sat, we lunched, we chatted about life, with laughter. I mean, I just looked at her as she asked me questions about life and the world, and she just looked like the most perfect little lady.

‘So boys can fancy boys Mum?

‘Yeah totally. And girls can fancy girls to.’

‘Oh? I fancy Justin Bieber, so I must fancy boys, right? Why do you have big round boobies and some women have thin floppy boobies?’

‘Oh, cos my boobs are *boob job* boobs and some women have normal boobies..’

‘Are me and Junior only half brother and sister because we have different dads?’

‘You’re brother and sister. I’ve raised you that way. I’m ya mum. You’re my babies. We don’t do half of anything. We’re a family..He’s your brother…’

‘My Dad says that Junior and I were with the birds and the bees and then I pushed him and he fell out of your tummy?’

‘ERm….Hahaha. Well you know that didn’t happen. When you’re older i’ll tell you what happened? Haha. That did not happen.’

‘Are you gonna get a mojito?’

‘Noooo….just a wine.’

‘Mum…I love you…’

‘I love you to baby…You’re beautiful…’

Infact, there was a moment where she just paused, went quiet and then started to giggle to herself.

‘What are you giggling at?’

‘I’m just so happy.’

And as a mum, that’s all you need to hear.

Then the world took a turn, I got on with some work, Ruby spent some time with her Daddy and although i had a moment of panic about all the work I have to conquer…I just decided to go to bed early and relax. If there’s an obstacle, I’ll go around it. If there’s a wall, I’ll glamourously throw a glitter rope over it and start climbing. If there’s a dickhead…well I don’t deal with dickheads.

Resting, worked wonders.

Today I feel great.

Don’t let the shitty bits of stress get to you. Think positively. I’m a huge ‘law of attraction’ believer. Like attracts like and all that shimme. Do it, because once you surrender to stress, it spreads like wildfire to everyone around you, those that you care about….and all around like germs. It’s not good for you, or them…

Cheer up. Get on with it! Happy Monday.

Oh and thank you for following my life!

Don’t look like a sausage roll…

I’ve just been living. So my apologies for the ‘no blog.’ I kept meaning to write one, then I’d opt for a beautiful fruit gin instead, as I hovered the dairy in’pending’ before another gin tinkered in.

I’ve worked through the weekend, so I pretty much only had Sunday to *kapow* it. As usually I’d KAPOW Saturday and take a massive luxury chill on Sunday. It’s like i had to *binge* fun into a day with friends, cocktails, family and love. I don’t like *binge* fun, cos now…it’s Monday and I feel fucking shattered. I’ve also decided that anything that begins with the words ‘ALL IN….’ is shit. πŸ™‚

Lots is happening. My world is spinning, it’s a really exciting time and I feel like i’m about to wink my way to everything i’ve Β always dreamed of. I had a few last minute glitches at the end of last week work wise. Some people kind. Some people… RUDE as hell. (Don’t be rude, i’ll think you’re a dick. I don’t know where people get off being ‘no reason’ rude…especially when they look like an ice goat from the Narnia cupboard. You can’t be a goat, have poor shoe game and then try and spit out bastardy behavior. It will not work for you…even if you’re wearing my Little Mistress faux fur.

Saturday was ‘work Saturday.’ And it was rubbish. I hated Saturday because I could’ve thought of 900 other things that I would rather be doing, than what I was having to be doing. I kept looking at the window sighing for more eventful times. I wanted to karate kick out my cage. Lol.

If my chick friend ‘Double B’ didn’t state that some looked like a… (wait for it..)

‘…a sausage roll with a wig on..’

Hhahahah! Life would’ve be shit. And because it was THE ONLY funny thing to have happened, I clung onto the thought for hours and it tickled me all day.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘I’ still not over the sausage roll thing..’

‘It’s because she does actually look like one…lol.’

I LOVE ‘Double B’s insults because they’ll always be the most comedically odd, bitchy bits of ‘hoo haa.’ Like if ‘Mean Girls’ was Yorkshire and dipped in a silly whore sassiness…you would have what my ears hear on daily, from this chicks mouth. And then she’ll always top off the worse bits of insult off with her, ‘PAY THE FEE’ cheerleader dance.

‘Pay the feeee. Pay the feeeeeeeeee. Peace out. A Town.’

Firmonnell’s still happily married to ‘Big D’ and he’s totally stepped up his game. First he introduced a sex step, THEN he got a promotion…AND NOW he obtains these bags of jelly babies for free.

Big D and I used to go ice skating when we were kids at The Dome…as that all you could do in Doncaster… or ‘Dancing School.’ I mean who on EARTH gets to be married to Willy Wonka. AND SHE CAN’T EVEN ICE SKATE.Β I did the polite thing and told her that I might love or feel up her husband now that he has jellies.

She told me to ‘BACK THE FUCK OFF‘ Hahaha!

‘What? the dude’s got sweets and shit?’ πŸ™‚

I’m loving this new ‘nothing to lose‘ outlook on life that i’m totally A* ..ing. I’ve got the reins to my world now and i’m flying baby, FLYING! Yes, i’m being a bit sassy, a bit annoying, a bit of a ‘doo daa’ at times…but i’m loving it and it’s ace and this is my patch of cyberland…so there! Prosecco for everyone!

(Hustle Barbie says it’s MY fault that she didn’t tidy her house because she went to do a blog catch up and ended up on this blog for hours. I assured her that there would be hot toyboys who would offer to clean her home for her…and that she could then leave her beau to date Gino D’Acampo. Great solution! I should have a therapy show!)

I’m in a swirl. God! This guy, ‘the swirl’ has got me going CRAZY!

Me: ‘I can’t hake you out my head. You’re in there. Always. I like it.’

‘Yeah me too..it feel ssoooooooo good.’

It’s thrown me a bit as you know how much I distrust my own judgements on anything ‘love or lust‘ related. This weekend, i just thought ‘fuck it’Β (as I just can’t quit swirling about him) and with the whole ‘nothing to lose‘ mantra strapped onto my dildo…:) I WENT FOR IT.

He might have sent me a *spacky bum bum* emoji at one point. Lol.

I like this guy (but i’ve been treading cautiously..of previous)…We already get on well, so we don’t really need to try at that, as it’s just the way our personalities jigsaw. That part is a biggie, so we’re lucky like that.

So after picture taking, messages and him having a mild moan that they wasn’t much video content…Lol

‘Work your magic. πŸ™‚ xx

‘You work your fucking magic. I’ve deleted every single SELFIE IN THE WORLD!!!!!’

We pissed ourselves, he went off on his night out and I got dressed, went to the bar and asked a guy to delete all my read emails so that I could video. Hahahaha! And he did! Very grateful!

Video galore was made on Sunday. It started sweet and just turned x rated. I couldn’t help it. The guy gets me going like that. Then like a magical flowing trail of saucy digital content…I proved that I had ‘nothing to lose.’ πŸ™‚

It felt liberating. It felt sexy.

It was received with the upmost appreciation and messages to assure me that it was divine. Lol

I should get trophies for it! Yet, the art of sexy and seduction is knackering. I needed a warm bath and a ‘straight to bed’ afterward. Knowing my luck, I probably got him all juiced up and filled with spunk, so he could go bone some ‘first girl there’ chick because his willy couldn’t help it. Hahaha! I DID ALL THE FUCKING LEG WORK!!!! πŸ™‚ Whatever, I’m Miss Wunna…ain’t no girl gonna beat my sauce. πŸ™‚

Joking aside. I’m happy and like i said, you have to cling onto those moments of happy, don’t you? They keep things exciting and we (I hope) have exciting times ahead. The swirl is good because it weirdly has a magic to it, a magic that i’m labelling ‘substance.’ Like it could go really well..if we wanted it to.

If I could give you any advice from what I’ve learnt from my weekend, it would be to GO FOR IT. Express yourself. Be loving. Be open. be honest. Don’t give two shits about fear and get what you want…or at least have a go at trying…

‘Once upon a time..Mummy sent Daddy Nudes….and they lived happily ever after! πŸ™‚ ‘

Oh and try not to look like a sausage roll..

Shit, i’ve got to dash…

Working ALL DAY.