Blogs, Boys & Heels…

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Gosh! Morning, my lil’ Twinkles! My delicious tickles of fancy. I have been SO UTTERLY *RUSHED* off my little kitten feet. It’s been mad. I’ve been busy. Yet in a way, I’m delighted, because I really do hope to one day ‘blink’ and see that ALL of my dreams have come true…and if that takes ‘busy,’ if that takes hard work,‘ than to me, I’m there. I’d rather do it, than ponder it..

TBone: ‘ It’s not what someone says, it’s always what they do…’

Especially when i’m in a productive frame of mind. Y’know, before cocktails get the better of me. Haha.

I reckon, if you can still commit to productivity, in a really great heels, you’ll smash life! 

(Oh! Wait! I thought I said that I was always gonna wear ‘flats’ now, after running for my life and falling over 40 times at Scare Kingdom?)

Nevermind. Ghosts & Kidnappers would just set me free anyway, because I’d definitely do their head in. My choice of footwear wouldn’t be an issue.

Kidnapper: ‘God! Let her OUT. Switch her for a better victim. Ooh. Shes wearing glitter heeled pumps from the ****** collection.’

I was talking to ‘Celeb Ghost Hunt’ Ash, the other day…He wants me to go on an investigation with him. I must be a sucker for terror. I hate being frightened. Haha.

Anyway, back to non frightening stuff…

I’ve travelled all over. I’ve been on shoots, auditions, i’ve been good, i’ve been bad, I’ve been influencing a jolly load, ready for the festive season. (Which is a REALLY BUSY time for everyone.) I’m also doing the single mum thing also, aren’t I? (I adore every INCH of the bambinos. Junior’s a delight. Ruby’s got her first set of glasses.) I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my world. I’m raising a Glamour puss and a Hero. Last night they both *shocked* themselves up, ran out of their rooms and got into my bed, because we all got lonely and afraid of the dark. Lol

Nobody likes to sleep alone. The only time i’m okay with it, is when i’m drunk and just need to pass out…still with my face on. (Which I don’t really recommend as a graceful little pastime. It only makes you feel worse in the morning,)

On the whole, I’m really happy, right now and when i’m this busy and this happy, it seems that I forget about my ever so rubbish love life.

I’m still 37. I’m still single. It ain’t that bad.

I’m happy a singleton. But after everything i’ve been through. The ups, the downs & the ‘mess me arounds’, i’m still not cautious.  (I still wear my heart on my sleeve.) I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I very much trust people with my heart.  EVEN NOW I  still trust that they’re going to take care of it…..because firstly I see the beauty in everyone and secondly…because i’m probably foolish. Haha.

I never know if they see me as their ‘bitch,’ their ‘bed notch,‘ or their ‘baby for life? Haha..Sounds like a Fairytale. If I can’t decide, i’ll just sit back and leave it to them, to come forward and show me what category, I fall into.

If they don’t come forward then they’re weren’t for me. (I’ll just see it all as, ‘they weren’t that interested.’) I like a forward man. A brave one.

You know why? Probably because i’m not used to guys being romantically forward me with…It’s almost like they’re terrified to be? And I have no clue why? Whatsoever? I don’t get it? You’ll see a lot of guys openly comment on my pics etc, via my ‘socials.’ Yet, the majority of them don’t..and instead shoot in a sneaky DM. (That sounds naughty! Haha.) 

I literally get one almost every 2 minutes. 

However, in real life….If a guy actually fancies me…they’re usually forward to begin with and then stop being so forward…..It’s like they want ME to chase them?

When you’re a 30 something woman, nothing is worse than having to chase a guy for attention. I’ve done it lots, much to my own embarrassment. But I don’t do it, now. EVER. Who has the time or that? If someone wants to go on a date..They should just tell me. If they want to be with me…They shouldn’t be scared to say it.

Plus, i’m quite traditional when it comes to the chase..the ‘wooing.’ I like a boy to ‘hunt & gather,‘ as I ‘fan‘ myself prettily.

Guy friend: ‘You only like them to *hunt and chase* if you fancy them though. If you don’t, you always *shut* them down and we hate that. You make the approach extremely intimidating…’

Anyway…Blah.

I’ve decided to describe my love life like this….

It’s kinda like cleaning a window, with a raggy cloth. Some day, I’ll be able to see through the glass. 😉 

I bumped into my friend Shaun yesterday. He’s a bodyguard..

Shaun: ‘It’s not like the flipping movie Chrissie!!’

He’d just got back from London. I’d just got off a busy weekend. Plus, I’m actually looking for family security and safety, right now. A wee bit of close protection. Not all the time. Just when necessary. Sometimes, when we’re out as a family or i’m influencing something, people will stop to chatter or selfie with me. And I love that. Yet, they’ll just be ME & the babies. I need to make sure they’re always watched. I’m paranoid after some creepy guy, who only knew me from instagram, followed us around Doncaster & wouldn’t leave us alone & after a guy tried to glass another guy in a Manchester bar, because he was trying to hit on me?

I didn’t know either guy…I knew they were both trying to hit on me?

All I heard was the female manager shouting..

‘Get her out the way…’

Then guys and girls starting grabbing glass bottles and smashing them up against the bar, to use in a fight!

IT WASN’T EVEN A ROUGH PLACE.

I wouldn’t have gone there if it was. 

The police even got called and the bar had to be shut down for the evening, It got that crazy.

I don’t get it?

So, it was good to briefly catch up, with Shaun.

Shaun: ‘You’re starting early…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. I don’t even care.’

(I was sat in a quiet corner at The Mallard, in Doncaster.)

Me: ‘You’ve got luggage on wheels. I hate it when people have luggage on wheels. Haha.’ 

Shaun: ‘I feel like a Trolley Dolly, but i’m working it.’

So we discussed security, talked life, work and caught up…The we dashed off. (I didn’t end up posting my blog. When people I know come up to me and start chatting, that’s it, you can’t shut me up. I’ll just spend time with them instead. But I like that about me. I put LIVING life, BEFORE typing it out.)

I guess, I need to find balance. 😉

Then Sam ‘The Reecey Reece’ fest messaged me, to see when we could schedule in ‘catch up’ time. We’re like ‘ships passing in the night.’

‘Are you free on…?’

‘Are you?’

Then I just got on with life.

I’ve had so much fun over the weekend. I’ve worked. I’ve loved. I’ve lived. I’ve had the best time. I celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Saturday. I did Xscape, Castelford with the kids. We smashed ‘Nandos.’ I did Meadowhall. I wiggled at Wagamamas.

Just so much!

I’m so grateful for how well, everyone treated me, over that time!

It was actually Pete (Ruby’s Dad’s Birthday) on Sunday. But Ruby didn’t want to hang out with him, because she wanted to do Influencing with me at Meadowhall. Being Pete. he showed up at Meadowhall, with is bestie Jay, in dying hope that he’d get to spend some time with Ruby..in her new specs.

It worked…and we all ended up doing dinner together at Wagamamas, with my Mum & brother.

But I kinda like that, we co parent well. We haven’t been together for years. In fact 7 years…Yet, it’s great that we can all ‘kick it.’ Y’know, just chill and have a duck pancake together. Lol.

When co parenting works.

Anyway, about my love life…

The weird thing is, with me being busy and ‘forgetting’ about love…It seems, that gents are peeking back into Wunna Land and tapping on my glitter door, again.

I’m calling this time..

Operation ‘Blasts From The Pasts.’ 

A couple of guys that USED to fancy me,…seemed to have returned to my DM’s with a ‘Hey. How are you?’ One guy had actually started dating a girl, but she went through his phone and *blocked* me…Haha. He didn’t even realise, until one of his other friends pointed it out.

Safe to say…They’re no longer together. (But there you have it! You shouldn’t have chosen ‘The Crazy’ over me. Hhahaha.)

It’s all good fun. A laugh. We’re all making memories.

If i could tell you anything.

I’ll tell you that I was a really lucky girl. I’ll tell you to always chase your dreams and when you feel inspired, to act upon it. A dream doesn’t just have to be a ‘make believe‘ moment. You can at least TRY and make your reality. People do it every day. Why not you? I’m living proof.

Always be kind. Always do the things that make you happy. Don’t sacrifice your true happiness, to ‘run through the motions.’ Wake up. Feel the breeze, Go with it. Nothing is better than living you best life.

Don’t listen to anyone, or anything but your gut instinct. It will show you the right way. It will also tell you when you’re ready.

Always believe in love…

It is the ONLY thing, that is going to power you through the bad times and make the good times simply MAGICAL.

Preach over…

Have an amazing Tuesday….

I love you.

 

 

 

 

Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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Baking or Blow****

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Afternoony, my delicious trickles of honey life. (I don’t know what that means either, but just go with it, eh?) I’m feeling great. I’m feeling on top of the world, kinda like it’s my oyster. I’m ready. I’m in gear and i’m gonna be getting my my ‘Sasserilla to success’ OOown!

I’m excited!

I’m an ambitious girl. Yes, i’m dipped in cocktail.  Yes. I can be wild. Yes. There are also times when i’m quite ‘chill.’ But right now. i’ve kitty whipped myself with a wink. I’ve found my ‘ooh laa.’ Everything’s changed…and now…I’M READY.

Yayur!

You’re a product of your environment. I couldn’t say that enough. If you’re environment is shit. You’re in trouble. If your surrounded by things, people, a work life, OR a love life, that doesn’t give you a rush of ‘happy,’ or a simple niggle of excitement…Then you need to change it up. You’re in the WRONG place….Stay there until you’ve learnt a lesson. It’s like a life ‘naughty step.’ Yet once the lesson has firmly *squashed* itself into your heart and mind…Your soul. Pick yourself, grow 19 ft tall and

DO ONE…

The strong ones don’t get lost in the haze forever. They find a way out, to make their dreams come true. They’re the ones with the balls, the sense…the gusto. They’re the ones that don’t make excuses for themselves, yet instead see their own faults and commit to making a change.

Preach over!

Praise the wine Gods.

Right, okay. So, two of my chick friends. I like to refer to them as ‘vanilla’ (yes dull) because they’re really different to me, yet I’m cool ENOUGH with our differences… It’s not hard for me to put up with them. It’s not for me to actually put up with anything. I’m pretty laid back.

Yet, why do ‘Vanilla’ chicks try to change ‘Fun’ chicks? Lol. Fun chicks, just get on with being FUN. They don’t waste time trying to change and control ‘Vanilla’ chicks…because we think there’s no hope for them. Haha.

Anyway, I’m always rambling on about my love life. You lot are always rambling on about my love life. It’s a key feature of my world and simply because i’m single. I can’t seem to hold a marriage down… three times over. 🙂 I’m 37. I’m great at choosing badly…Yet i’m dashed with a lil’ sprinkle of popularity and blessed with a sexy disposition. 😉

Wahey! Tit soup for everyone!

Anyway…I know they’re boyfriends, really well. (Neither chick is married yet. But, as the fairytale hoes…Hoes? Hahaha…..GOES!!!! They can’t wait for THEIR moment down that somewhat ‘Vanilla’ isle. 🙂 )

Chicks: ‘Why are you making fun of us for being kind?’

Me: ‘I’m not making fun of you for being kind. I’m making fun of you for being dumb…’

They’re boyfriends are always out on the lash, harmlessly flirting with ‘hottie p’totties’ and just having a good old, laddy time. They’re fun! So both of my ‘Vanilla’ chick friends, wanted to spice things up… in order to *peak* their boyfriends interest.

(NB/ Surely, they should be interested in you anyway…without you having to try.)

And because these particular chick friends of mine are dull…what the girls came up with, was ‘BAKING.’

EH?

Did the world take a turn and get drop kicked to a loony bin somewhere?

This isn’t a F****** Disney Movie!! This is real life. I mean, GOSH, a dude doesn’t get excited about sitting down and having a cheese scone with you! Even Cinderella knew that. She hired a flippin ‘Fairy’ to *whiz* her up a fancy dress, carriage and glass slippers…not a side of carrot cake!

‘Buns in the oven’ SCARE MEN. Hahaha. Like, do they need to GO BACK, to ‘Diva School‘ or something??

It’s beyond me…

So ofcourse I ranted about it on my Insta page, because obviously a guy, does not give a flying ‘hooterella’ about a BUN, as a means of fun!

That guy wants you to tickle his fancy. Y’know…egg on a ‘Twinge.’ Get him feeling steamy. Make him feel like a man.

That’s EXCITING!

He’s gonna chose a blowjob over a scone ALL day, ‘errrday!’ They leave their mates, girlfriends, wives, jobs and children for a blowy, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Bottom line…

DON’T TELL ME THAT I NEED TO BAKE, IN ORDER TO SCORE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS…

I’ve got my own problems…and baking.. ONE, doesn’t need to be added to it. (I already didn’t bake for the kids school last night.) And TWO…it’s shit! Don’t tell me shit. Haha.

Me: ‘I’ve been married 300 times. It’s fine. I’m cool, if I never get married again! You’re vanilla. Vanilla chicks, don’t try and teach FUN. It’s like me trying to teach GEOGRAPHY, when I can’t even find my way out the loo’s in a bar!!!’

Everyone just paused…

(I always do this. Stuff just comes out my mouth, then I have to stop, to see how ‘the rant’ was received. I do it with charm. Y’know… a smile and with everything crossed.)

Then luckily enough, we all just burst into laughter and poured prosecco…

Chicks: ‘Don’t put this on your Insta…’

Me: ‘Okay…’ 😉

I guess, the thing about life and love, is to just BE YOU. We try so hard, don’t we, to be the perfect version of ourselves. OR, the other way around…we don’t try at all, to even nearly project, who we truly are.

Being who you are and not giving a **** about what anyone else thinks, is something that will keep you in good stead, on your way to success. In this day of age, it’s not necessarily the easiest thing is it? We all want to do well. We all want to be adored.

Don’t get lost in the haze….Be you. Be proud of who you truly are. Enjoy and stick by what YOU believe in…

Always…

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Life, Love & Really Bad Habits…

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Hope you’ve had a really wonderful weekend! I had the BEST family time with Ruby & Junior. We lunched at ‘The Clam & Cork’ in Doncaster. (I had the oysters, Ruby had the sea bass. I had to go buy Junior a boiled hot dog from a cart, by watermelons. Lol) We shopped. We loved. We picked out our Style Favourites at Primark. I’m a huge Primark fan So as a family, we couldn’t feel happier, to be sharing our favourite pieces with you.

Primark has hands down’ shown us a lot of love & for that, i’m absolutely grateful for! In my mind there’s no reason for anyone to spend an ENTIRE fortune, in order to LOOK GOOD or most of all FEEL GOOD.

There ain’t no shame in your Primark game!

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In Wunna Land, our expensive buys, are always a ‘treat.‘ I mean we spend a lot on ‘good times’ and great food. Yet, when it comes to fashion, and I LOVE FASHION, I love BEAUTY….we’ve signed up to ‘Primania’ with our hearts full of joy.

I’ve shopped there for years and now it’s time to celebrate it! 

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(I mean, what is life without a knitted rainbow cardy, right!)

Okay, so….

The start of my week has been blissful, up until last night. (We’re only on Tuesday. Haha.) Last night, I decided to balls things up, for myself, which I do quite often. You know when you just don’t prioritize something correctly and you therefore accidentally, let yourself down, because a niggly guilt meanders through your head. A niggly guilt that won’t go away because you temporarily hurt someone. That’s what I did. That’s how I felt. I’m okay now. I’ve got over it look…

Yet, a lesson has been learnt…and I guess, I need to break another bad habit. (This is all really good for me. I’m going through a really CLEANSING time, by accident. Lol.)  I don’t smoke. I won’t drink as much. I’m wearing chakra balancing beads. I’m crying to love songs by JLS.  Next i’ll be doing yoga on my front lawn, in eco friendly workout attire and stroking goats…

I don’t think so… I’m a glamour puss, not a hippie. 😉 I am actually quite spiritual by nature..throw me a pack of Tarot cards and a voodoo doll and i’m sound. 😉

But…

WHY AM I STILL LEARNING LESSONS AT 37!!

Anyway, there’s lots going on. my Insta story is on fire, right now, with views. Work is on it’s way. I’m in limbo. I’m waiting for a something to air on TV. I have loads of shoots. I’m waiting for my time. My moment. I’m loving being a mum. My love life is still rubbish. Well not rubbish. The guy that I went on the Manchester date with, is looking forward to seeing me again. So, that’s sweet.

(All last night, I kept drinking red wine and accidentally crying to JLS songs, because I missed ‘The Swirl.’ Hahaha.) 

I love being a girl.

To be honest, I’ve been quite hormonal of recent. (As you may have guessed?) But i’ve found that as soon as I ‘doll’ myself up, whop in my hoops and get strutting…I’m fine. I’m dandy.

Just getting on with it, is the best way!

I feel like something great is going to happen to me in the love department? Even if it’s not right now…The ending to my story, when it comes to love…feels like it’s going to be amazing. Like Life has been leading me up to something phenomenal. (She glues her ‘rosy tinted specs’ to her face.)

Everything you go through, I believe is for a reason…

I’ve enjoyed by path, as ‘colourful’ as it’s been…I’m ready for a Happy Ending. Surely, I deserve one, in both work and love, for crying out loud!!

I’m committing to everything. I’m throwing myself into everything. You get nothing out of life if you don’t commit to it. 

You’ll never experience the happiness intended for you, if you don’t ‘throw skin to the wind’ and just go for it. Survive the bad. Enjoy the good. Be it big, small or inbetween. Just live. Just love. Just be ALIVE.

In the end, you’ll KNOW why you had to go through it all…

I believe that…

(But I still believe in Santa and Fairies…so don’t take my word for it.)

Right now, I can tell you, that i’m really proud of the kids. Junior has a true heart of gold. He’s insightful and loving..Yet won’t let you push him around, when he feels brave. Ruby is ambitious and dynamic. She’s a tough cookie. She is every inch….well…ME. (I’m kinda feeling really bad for Pete, right now, because Ruby hasn’t wanted to hang out with him over the last couple weeks…)

‘Tell Dad, that I do love him. Everything’s fine. I’d just rather spend my time with you and Junior, mum…’

She’s almost outgrowing him…and she’s only 7.

Pete: ‘Chrissie, it’s depressing me…’

The babies have really got stuck into this whole ‘showbizzy’ malarky, by choice, before you all start……I’m kinda having to rein them in a little and make them concentrate on school…because they have so much going on in October. I can’t keep up!!

But I actually couldn’t be prouder of them.

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Life is good. I’m tired though. I’m looking after myself more. I’m stepping up my game. I’m adoring my beauty regime. I’m wanting to make my mark, now. I’m also wanting to fall in love. I wonder if ‘The Swirl’ ever thinks about me? (I think about you. I think about you a lot.) I wonder if The Manchester Date guy will try to pursue a future with me? (You were so lovely to me. You made me feel lovely.)

I’m concentrating on my career…and like I said, this time LAST YEAR…

I ain’t gonna be dropping no ball, this time…

Watch this space…

Wunna Land, is on it’s way UP!!!

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Get me to ‘Doll House…’

Right, so in case you didn’t know, growing up through my entire life, I was a model. Not a fashion model (I’m only Five foot four)  or a commercial model (I have the weirdest ‘non commercial’ features,) I wasn’t an Influencer (we didn’t do ‘social media’ back then)….I was a glamour model.

I didn’t find IT. IT found me….as I was sat outside a coffee shop, on 3rd & La Cienega, by The Beverly Centre in LA. (Which is where I did my entire 20’s.)

And with being a model..when you DO grow up and become an ‘oldie,’ you kinda miss ‘glamorousity,’ madly and at the same time, you kinda lose your ‘va voom’ a bit. You look at your shoot pictures and think…‘I’m sure I used to look better than that!’ Lol.

I do still model. Yet it’s nothing It was ‘back in the day’ when I was living in Hollywood, on three flights a day, being booked, shot and dashed to different states, every few hours, simply for a bit of sexy picture taking. It was my job. I remember landing at airports and messaging my THEN husband, to see how his auditions or filming for the day had gone?

It was a dream.

When I was a little girl, it was was all I wanted to do. (Well, I wanted to be in show business…) and I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to. So, I’m grateful for that. I’ve lived the most wonderful life. I still am. I’m just in a different chapter. And I always say that I’m the luckiest girl in the world, because no one is more determined than I, to ENJOY LIVING, whilst making any dream I can.. come true, for both children and myself.

Literally, no one is MORE GRATEFUL than I, for every single piece of life, love, family and opportunity I’ve been given.

BUT WAIT…

Of recent, when it’s come to the writing, the blogging, the influencing, I’ve felt on top of the world, almost in a ‘hero’ excitement of ‘I’m smashing it.’ And it’s important to enjoy the moments that you’ve rightfully worked hard for. You can be humble all you want. Yet, I don’t believe that any successful human, doesn’t do a cheeky ‘happy dance,’ or boast a bit of a flaunt, in the name of celebration.

It’s natural. We need to hold on to and celebrate all happy moments in life. 

However, when it’s come to the modelling front, and I have shot recently….and i’m still shooting now….I’m kinda feeling a little insecure. I now have ‘wibbly’ bits that weren’t there before and that never used to bother me. Now..it does. Especially when young ‘just turned 20 year olds’ are wiggling on it and OWNING THEIR niche, rightfully. (Which I love. Yet it does make me feel OLD.)

You will have seen my posts recently and if i’m feeling this way, then I think many women are also! So i’m wanting to help the 30 something year old woman, celebrate her own WOMANHOOD. I’m wanting to inspire, bring confidence and encourage us 30 something chicks to not be afraid to ‘wave the flag’ in the name of ‘sexy.’

SO, in order to sort myself out (because I need to find my own internal ‘ooh laa’ and quench my thirst of glamour pussing, in front of a camera, i’ve been on a hunt. (And I fancy myself in front of a camera, so DO know I have HUNTED, to find something perfect.)

I’ve literally been searching our delicious world wide web, for the absolute BEST photog to shoot me, and get me back to feeling beautiful again. I feel sexy. I don’t feel beautiful. It’s taken me months to find someone to help me celebrate my WOMANHOOD, and I was looking for a FEMALE photographer.

I’m about to venture back on the telly and I don’t want to sail through all the PR… looking rubbishy.

Two weeks ago when I came across ‘Doll House Photography.’

If you didn’t know, I adore ‘old school’ glamour. A proper boudoir shoot. A glamourous, luxury themed shoot. A picture that tells a story. Be it cheeky, or delicious. It’s kinda hard to find these days. But it’s my favourite type of glamour shoot and that’s what I wanted to do. That’s what I’ve been looking for…And I’m stubborn, so if that’s what I want …that’s all I do. 🙂

*Wink, Wiggle*

I went through their ‘socials,’ their pics, their lives, their everything…I’m awful for it…Haha. Plus, of course, I absolutely loved that the infamous Chrissy Sparks was the photographer. If you aren’t aware, Chrissy is mind blowing. She’s award winning. She knows how to get the shot out of you. I looked through the results and thought they were out of this world.

The women looked divine, yet, classy. So SO sexy. They oozed a swirl of magic. They dripped empowerment and a decadent luxury. I loved it. I wanted it.

NOW! 🙂 

*Pass me my Prosecco!*

I then read that if you shot with them, you had the full range of dressing rooms, filled with wardrobes and wardrobes of lingerie, corsets, which is any glamour pusses dream. They have pieces to delight everyone,  IN ALL SIZES, waiting there for you, to shoot in. (I like that. I hate having to take everything with me. I hate luggage on wheels.) Whilst you’re there, you get the absolute five star treatment. You hardly get that on a shoot. 😉 Behind the scenes of modelling is a lot less glamourous than you think.

But the thing that moved me the most, whilst looking at the ‘results,’  was the fact that ‘Doll House’ didn’t service models. (You’d  assume that ONLY models alike would be shooting with ‘Doll House’ photography. You’d assume that you’d have to be a size 8, or some kind of Pageant Queen, to be shooting with Doll House Photography. That can often can be intimidating.)

Yet no…I looked online and found a ton of before and after pictures of real women, of all ages… who wanted to do or feel the same as I!

Take a look…

Annabel before2.jpg Image result for doll house photography before and after pics

Image result for doll house photography before and after pics

Image result for doll house photography before and after pics Image result for doll house photography before and after pics

They had their hair & make up done. They had help picking out their outfits and they were shot by one of the best female  photographers on set, in the UK.

The women are given control of their ‘ooh laa.’ Their shoot. Yet, directed appropriately by the best of the best!

That’s what sold it for me. The simple fact that firstly it was fun. Happiness makes girls look hotter and the fact that the studio went out of their way to empower women. Y’know, make us FEEL beautiful. (How something makes you feel is all that matters.)

That’s what I want. That’s what i’m looking for.  I mean my love life has been shocking of recent. I’m not bothered about feeling or looking *blah* right now. Haha.

Give me GLAMOUR.

I’m stepping up my game…

But honestly…

…sometimes, when you’re a chick and when you’ve been through all sorts…Y’know, ‘walked a life.’ Be you young or old….Sometimes you just NEED THAT MOMENT, where you kinda feel feminine again, alive again, beautiful again, POWERFUL AGAIN….

And that ONE moment alone….acts as a graduation of your kitten soul, from little girl to WOMAN, as you embrace all that is YOU…and show the world what you’re made of.

I’ve shot with so many people, all around the world and I have never  met an actual company that goes out of their way to personally celebrate women, on a ‘one to one’ level, from the moment you walk in terrified to the glorious picture result! They represent women represent SO WELL and they pretty much take a girl, who is still hiding in her cocoon, onto her next ‘BUTTERFLY’ level.

So if you’re looking to be that ‘butterfly,’ or need a bit ‘ooh laa’ in your life…. I’ll tell you right now, I’ve found you the most beautiful place, to celebrate being a woman!

It’s a Wunna Land pick!

Look at some of these result pics, where real woman found their  ‘magic’ and celebrated their pwn version of WOMANHOOD.

Get me to ‘Doll House!’ 

DOLLHOUSEPHOTOGRAPHY.CO.UK

See you there…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Banter, Love, Fights & Sexiness

Why don’t people talk anymore? Why are we stuck in a time warp, where people are unable to communicate effectively without fear? Maybe it’s because we’re all so ‘social media’ these days, that we haven’t even realized we’re cutting ourselves away from real life interactions? I love a bit of ‘social’ and I hate it when people are so behind and don’t use it. Yet, I’ve godda admit, part of me is super traditional, and it’s important to still touch, feel, see and smell people.

I’ve made that sound creepy, by accident. Yipppee!

I’m a chatter. (In case you didn’t notice.) I’m a talker. (In case you couldn’t hear me boos.) I like to EXPRESS because I think it’s healthy (oooh, healthy, healthy chop chops) and i’m not AFRAID of anything …except sausage dogs. (They’re creepy as ****) I’m a problem solver, not a deliberate creator of ‘hiccups.‘ 😉

Hurrah!

Yet, what i’m noticing more and more, is that less and LESS people, of THIS generation, areface to face’ chatting, or even making a simple phone call to talk things through. People are really quick to throw each other away these days, without giving something, or someone….(that was once a treasure, a great find,) a real shot. I don’t like it. Everything that’s worth something, takes a little work…and with a little love, a delicious bit of nurture….you could really create something beautiful.

(Do know when I’m talking about the ‘throwing away‘ bit, instead of nurturing. Nurturing only counts if the position you’re in, is worth it. Otherwise, your ideal bet, is to REFRAIN from making the best out of a BAD BARGAIN. )

Right, I’m gonna quit being Mother Teresa right now and get with it.

Let’s SHIMMIE YO…

I’m in a mood today, because i’m tired. I woke up at 3am and I couldn’t get back to sleep. My mind was just ticking away… ticking away. I don’t know what’s wrong with me? But I can’t wait for a nap.

Love Island needs to spice itself up right now. Nothing’s happening? I only watch it to perv on Adam. And everyone on Twitter is having a go at him for snogging ‘New Girl Rosie,’ (oh the drama) when he’s with Kendal? 🙂 (Dying)

Darlings, it’s a GAME, on the TELLY. It’s not REAL. He’s not really with Kendal. They’ve known each other 3 days. He can smooch whoever he wants. I say ‘GO FOR IT.‘ In fact, it’s weird because ALL the girls in there are not being really affectionate, or handling things with a sexy disposition. Maybe because they’re 20 something??? Apparently they don’t ‘spoon’ on the first bed share. Lol. Errrugh. How dull. Moving on. Stop being ‘Vanilla.’

*Rolls Eyes.*

What else? I had another audition yesterday. A last minute one. So hopefully that went okay and i’m at a wedding tomorrow. I don’t usually like going to weddings, (I’m always a Bride and never a guest. Hahah.) Not this time though! Thank Goodness! Yet i’m looking forward to it. I’m in the mood to watch love being celebrated. I reckon, I can handle it before weeping into my gin, right?

‘Hey! Have a sip of mine It comes with TEARS!’

Plus, weddings are great because everyone drinks far too much and flirts with everyone It causes chaos. I love chaos.. in frocks.

What now?

‘The Swirl’ who i’m going to actually rename. What can I call him? Since we’re no longer ‘swirling?’ I’m gonna call him ‘T.Bone.’ No? Yeah. That’ll do for now. Anyway, he sent me a message yesterday…a boring one, not a fun one…in regards to listening to some business call. I ignored the message at first, because I kinda didn’t find it interesting. Lol. Then hours later, I felt bad, so I did what the message said and tuned it.

When I say ‘tuned in,‘ I logged into the call, put it on loud speaker, placed my phone to one side, because that was even duller than the initial message and just watched Love Island instead. Hahaha.

But at least I tried. I just didn’t find it very motivating. It was boring.

People are motivated in different ways…lectures are not mine. I’m really ambitious, yet i’m alive and motivated when i feel passion and that comes via love, money, entertainment, or creativity. You can’t BORE me to death and expect me to be excited.

Away from that, you know i was telling you all to go stalk my mate ‘Trigg’s’ instagram (@SimonTTrigg) because he’s easy on the eyes and a treat for the grown up gal. He’s 42, handsome, ex pro footballer and now works in property investment. I *tagged* him in my Insta post yesterday, and I always do tag my friends in, when I’ve mentioned them openly…and if they don’t have a ‘secret nickname.’ Like ‘T Bone.’

Anyway, he sent me a message straight away, after reading the blog, saying…

‘I fancy you so so much. But I’m no comparison to Adam! Lol’

(As in ‘Love Island Adam.’ Haha. )

It made me smile because I like a bit expression. Especially when it’s lovey or sexy. (Yet respectful.) It’s like giving someone a ‘green light‘ to manoeuvre…. if they so wish.

It’s hot.

Older guys do that well. Much better than the young, don’t they? I think it’s mainly because they’re not as terrified. They’re braver. They’ve lived a little more and can’t be arsed to be messed about. I’m like that. I hate to be messed about.

I much prefer a guy who is brave, bold and direct. Y’know, one who is able to express how he feels fearlessly and waits to see what will happen as a result…

It’s sexy.

And if a guy’s not direct, i’ll just think that he’s not interested in me and instead found someone else that he much rather be with. But that’s why I always say, I much rather chat something out, as I hate playing the ‘guessing game.’ To me friendship and love is about making people feel happy or comfortable and not about keeping them on edge.

[Sorry I got really distracted and started watching ‘old school’ Jersey Shore episodes on my phone. It was one of my favourite shows ever. Every bit of me loves it. Americans do reality tv, so much more panache because they do the job they’re hired to do and they don’t waste time worrying about what people will think. And you would for $100,000 per episodes. I know! Good dollar!]

Where was I?

Whatever, I’ll just leave you with what my fave Jersey Shore clip..It actually kinda calms my soul…Which is weird on all levels. It gets good. Hit Play!

Thank you for following my life!

Chrissie, x

 

 

Life, Chicken Outfits & Train Journies

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Hi! I haven’t abandoned you! Just lots going on right now, which is ticking my work boxes off with  ‘deliciousness.‘ I’m learning a lot about people and life right now. I always thought I knew everything. I would wouldn’t I!! 😉 I can be such a cocky little shit at times. But what i’ve treasured from my darling little accidental ‘life learns’ over the past couple days, is that you should never ever be afraid to voice how YOU FEEL about something, someone, or a situation, no matter how awkward it may make you or others feel. By nature, I’m a ‘voicer’ and I stand by being expressive, until the day I keel over in glitter heels. It’s good for everyone!

(Like last night, I sent someone a message because I must’ve kinda doubted myself…I did cringe after I sent it…But it was how I really felt in the moment. I chilled a second..and just like that, this morning… everything was back to dandy.)

Another lesson…Don’t doubt yourself.

(I’m only saying that so I remember… But you always need life lesson reminders.)

The right people will always understand you. The ones who truly care for you, will always still be there. The people who do you wrong, or disappear will always say ‘sorry’ or come back to you whole heartedly…if they’re meant to be in your life. Stay loyal to what you believe is right for YOU and DO NOT go against, what your gut instinct tells you…

Unless, your gut instinct is kinda ‘off par,‘… then you’re kinda fucked. 🙂  Like one of my Straight guy friends, he has the worst ‘Gaydar‘ in the entire world ever! He can never be trusted with it…

Straight Friend: ‘He’s not gay..’

Me: ”We’re in G.A.Y, he said he loved me on the Hilton Show, loves my eyeshadow and then said *i’m gay.*”

Straight Friend: ‘That doesn’t mean he’s actually gay..’

Anyway….busy weekend! I travelled to Manchester. Well I did Stockport and then this other place that began with ‘L,’ for work. I can’t really tell you too much about it other than, I was in trainers…(I KNOW…HELL DIDN’T FREEZE OVER.) Around me there were really bright, almost neon, yellow walls, bright orange, semi circled chairs.. in a sports hall, tons of paperwork everywhere….and humans.

There was even a point where I was trapped in a room, with a ballet bar and a giant mirrored wall…with a black elasticated waist band strapped around me, that had a HUGE, ALMOST GIANT elastic band attached to it. (Could life get any offer.) And to make it worse…I was also in swimming goggles, which pretty much broke my heart.

‘What about my flipping eyelashes…I can’t see a thing. I can’t ACTUALLY SEE!’

Then as a camera filmed, others watched and a panel of humans took notes…the giant elastic band, was slowly pulled back, so it was stretched out, to its absolute tightest…. and then let go on me.

Hurrah!

Did that happen to you on Sunday?

‘Hustle Barbie’ messaged me during the day to see how it was all going…

Me: ‘Aww! Yeah. Such a blast. I have just had a giant elastic band, stretched back and pinged into my fanny!!’

Hustle: ‘Hahaha. I love it! I can’t wait!’

Before that I was having a conversation with a cabaret act. He was once on the Xfactor Bloopers and wore golden glittery shoes…There was also a Tattooed model, an elderly lady dressed in a CHICKEN OUTFIT, a former Aston Villa pin up girl (who was cool, witty and said she used to be 29 stone,) a guy from Belfast, who thought a bomb or something shifty was under his chair, a guy opposite me who had flown in from Perth and to my right sat a football player…

We had to blow a balloon up and draw whatever we wanted on it…

Football Player: ‘What have you drawn on your balloon?’

Me: ‘Boobs…You’ve drawn a football net… We’re so creative. Lol’

Then he starts reading everything about me. We had these sheets by us, that pretty much stated our lives in 2 pages of A4. I didn’t LET him read it…he just couldn’t stop reading it. (Must be my charm.)

Football Player: ‘You look great! You’re really pretty. You’re soo…’

Me; ‘Thanks. That’s sweet. Lol.’

Football Player: ‘As if your body’s like that and you’ve had two kids.’

(He kept reading notes about me, putting his head up and then making a statement.)

Me: ‘Hahah. Smooth. Scoring all the points.’

Footy Player: ‘So you’re a blogger and model. What’s a glamour model? I’m having to take a break from football…that’s why I’m here. I bought out my contract and..’

Me: ‘Where are you from? Who did you play for?

Footy Player: ‘France. I’m here because of football. It’s my life. I love it. I just hate the other shit that comes with it. I’ve played for lots of clubs…Like Tottenham…*******…..********** but…yeah, I guess I don’t look really professional. I’m not playing right now…I’ve actually moved to Leeds.’

(Then he told me loads of secrets that I cannot possibly tell you)

…and in that moment I actually felt really bad for him…because an unhappiness swirled about him….But we were there to do a job that day and everyone there…did. He was a really open guy…quite quiet… I didn’t fancy him at all….he just wasn’t my type…but he was a good friend during that day. He sort of latched onto me because he trusted me.

I felt bad for him because at one point, all the guys were just stood around him constantly, asking him continuous questions about ‘football this, football that…’ and all the things he didn’t want to talk about…I watched it and just saw him look uncomfortable. Show business, is not something that he is necessarily used to.

I felt bad because you can literally ask me anything. I write a whole online diary about my entire existence. I bloom when a camera is plonked in my face. Opening up about my life, what I think and making a ‘show’ of it, is all is my forte… It’s where I feel comfy. AND I do not LIKE to see other people feeling UNCOMFORTABLE. I wanted to go tell his story for him. Lol.

But then, as life would have it, he too got trapped in a mirrored room, with a giant elastic band strapped onto his waist. Again, like moi….he toooo, had to have it ‘stretched out and pinged back’ upon himself. 🙂 Kinda ‘broke him into’ entertainment.

Just a great day. I had a blast. I met so many people, who were all so different to me. I was fascinated. Sometimes, I found them a bit boring, but other times I found them alright. Lol. Plus, I’m never wearing swimming goggles ever again. I’m a bloody glamour puss…not a…Goggled, boobied… life guard. AND i was in flipping trainers!!! EWW! On the way there, a guy named ‘Trigger’ tried to make me GET IN HIS CAR.

Me: ‘No. You’re alright mate. I’ll just walk.’

Trigger: ‘Well gimme ya numba den..’

Me: ‘My phone doesn’t work. 🙂 Godda go.’

Trigger: ‘Get in my car. Honest. I’ll takes you there. I’m a good person me.’

Me: ‘I am absolutely sure you are. And I am absolutely not getting in your car. Lol But thank you so much, banter was fun…’

I couldn’t wait to get home Sunday evening. Then I went through emailed drama…so I just left it.

Too blessed to be stressed. *Shimmie everywhere.*

On the train there though, this guy…I don’t even know his name? Anyway, he was from Chesterfield, got on my train, had a huge Ikea bag filled with clothes, he was wearing a beanie hat and an oversized jacket. He tooo, was also en route to Manchester and sat on the chair next to me.

Funny guy,  and so different to me, but we got on well. Bless him.

Now, I usually hate talking to strangers on the train. I’m chatty. But i usually like to chill, as I spend my life talking to strangers and selfie posing with or for them. I really liked talking to this stranger because he humored me and right from the moment he sat down he apologized for having the hugest bag in the world.

Him: ‘Are you getting off soon? Should we swap places?’

Me: ‘Yeah, if you want… I’m off at the next stop.’

Him: ‘Stockport’s a good 40 mins away yet. We’ll be fine.’

Turns out he used to work at Tesco’s, hated it so much because it made him feel worthless, just like a number. And that’s like any normal ‘just to make money‘ job really…If you don’t create your own dream and work it, you end up working someone else’s dream, where you are always a number…even when they try and tell you you’re not. And you’re a classed as a ‘number’ because you can quite easily be replaced…even if you think you can’t.

Him: ‘I gave up my job, my everything and just fucked off to Amsterdam really for a month… It was great.’

He said it like he couldn’t feel more liberated. I liked it, because he wasn’t scared to let go of something that made him feel miserable.

Him: ‘I think i just sat in this cafe, the whole time and spend about £1000 in a week doing nothing… I met this couple and they had started up a clothing business…They were travelling around, selling clothes…I liked it, so I told them that I was completely gonna steal their idea and did.’

That’s what he does now…He owns ‘Red & Blue Umbrella’ which is a Vintage clothing company. He’s opened up a store in Manchester (that’s where he was taking the clothes.) It’s four months new and is looking to open up in Leeds, Edinburgh and London? I might have just made London up?

Nicest guy, funniest guy, and now on his way to doing great things…after giving up something that wasn’t true to his heart.

Me: ‘You’re gonna do well.’

Him: ‘Yeah, it’s still early days yet… Plus, I believe that you can FAIL at something YOU HATE, so you might as well give something a go and maybe fail at something you LOVE.’

Me: ‘I love that.’

Him: ‘I don’t even know if I saw that couple in Amsterdam. It was either all the ‘shrooms’ or actual human beings…couldn’t really tell you.’

Either way. Lol. It worked out for him.

I was sat next to him and I was showing him the pics that I had just posted on Instagram…( it was enthralling for him, i’m sure, lol) and he showed me how to work depop.

I will be posting products on my depop this week , for you to buy…at some point.

These were my Instagram pics. 🙂 Lol.

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Me: ‘My stop…Godda go!’

Then I headed on my way. I looked back. He didn’t see me look back, and I saw him looking at his phone and laughing. He looked really happy. Then some middle aged lady asked to sit next to him..He shuffled his Ikea bag over.

Chick Friend Jodie: ‘As if he just randomly got on a train and just so happened to sit next to you. It’s always really awkward for them because you’re someone who they don’t know immediately, but then discover. But they discover it during their time of sitting next to you on the train, or whilst you’re at the bar ordering a gin… It’s crazy for them.’

Me: ‘It’s not crazy. It’s not that good a discovery. Lol. But a guy who came and sat at my table…That New Jersey one, when I went to visit Ronnie…he actually said that he excused himself from the table, went to the toilet, Googled me, saw a bunch of pictures and read my last blog post, before sitting himself back down. I thought he had gone to do a wee. I’m actually oblivious to it I like it though. I like it when they read my blog.’

Happy Tuesday…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Auditions, Daffodils & He’s Nothing Like Mary Poppins…

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I’ve a busy day today, so I’m gonna have to keep this sassy, brief and delightful! I’m auditioning and it’s stressful and mainly because I make it stressful. Lol. I put so much pressure on myself because I’m a lunatic. 🙂 (Code for: ‘I just want to do well and have all my dreams come true.’ We all do! But that’s the problem..In my world…everyone wants the same thing.)

Yipppeee!

But, you get what you get and you don’t get what the ‘The Gods’ believe isn’t right for you. I’m actually feeling quite good right now after Whatsapp messages to someone I hold in my highest regard.

I was all pathetic and nervous and trying to sort out my mindset… I’m honest, so i’ll tell anyone exactly how I feel about everything….and he swooshed on in with motivation at the exact right time.

He’s like Mary Poppins…but not nothing like Mary Poppins, AT ALL? Lol. (Bare with me…I’ve gone insane???) What, I’m trying to say is that he spoon fulled me the ‘truth sugar,‘ from one of the most positive angles and in order to gear me up for a ‘smash it,’ bonanza. He did it briefly and real. Not fakey and flourished. (It’s an attractive trait. Kinda made me want to ‘tickle his fancy.’ I love motivational people…not the ones that go on and on… for hours, but the ones that are real and tell you stuff from their own actual life experience…It’s sexy. It always makes me think they’re also really organised…and in the future….I imagine my Knight in Shining Armour to be dead organised….That way they can organise my scattiness.)

ANYWAY….. ( I got distracted…)

Just like that, I felt MIGHTY. The motivational medicine went down a treat…and sometimes it’s all you need…. and with a…

‘Good luck babe…you will smash it…’

I was sorted.

(Why am I currently getting a flash back of Junior misguiding his standup wee?)

‘GET IT IN THE LOO!!! It’s spurting on the floor!’

Monday was great because I got to hang with my girl bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ Miss you Monday turned ‘real life’ and we got to catch up and chat about our world’s combined, as people played with blue and white balls around us and other’s decided to ski.

I always miss her madly, so when we talk, we talk….We get lost it in with a passion. There was a moment where in which we had gotten so ENTHRALLED in our conversation, whilst stood up by a coffee counter…that we forgot we were stood up by a coffee counter and were suddenly awaken by the Barista with a…

‘Do you want chocolate sprinkles on that?’

‘Eh?’

‘Oh shit! Yeah..’

‘Why are you not using the sugars I got you?’

‘I thought they were yours?’

‘What…EIGHT OF THEM.’

‘Let’s sit down..’

Good catch up…Then our other friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ tried to steal my Bestie from me, by presenting her with Daffodils and kindness.

Firmonnell: ‘Hustle’s my new bestie now! She bought me this..’

(Produces photo of daffodils and other loving thoughtful stuff.)

Me: EWW! Why is she stealing my bestie! How dare she be thoughtful. That’s fine. you two can go have a really delightful Vegan time together. I’ll make new friends, with like… Olivia off Love Island.’ Fucking Daffodils.’

Firmonnell: ‘What you buying me?’

Me: ‘Don’t you dare try and game me with the *WHAT YOU BUYING ME’ trick.’

(I’m scarred! It’s not like I haven’t already been on the flipping telly… where I was put through HUGE challenges every single moment of every single day, with a camera in my face…in the name of ‘Hilton.’ Touchy subject, a friendship battle..innit.) 

Anyway, great day with ‘Firmonnell.’

‘See you next week? I’m parked over there…’

Me: ‘Can you at least MAKE LIKE YOU NEED ME…’

Miss you Monday’s‘ are the best!

I’ve actually really super dooper need to go! Shit! My hair needs doing. Just wanted to say..

THANK YOU SO MUCH..

To everyone who is engaging with Wunna Land. My ‘Socials’ have been a delight and i’m grateful. It kinda makes me feel all appreciated. Thank you to those watching my ‘Garden gallop’ video gram. So many people have messaged me asking if it was my actual garden? Random question?

But…yes…I’m not going to gallop, open shirt topless in someone else’s garden. Lol. Well? I might? Depends on where life takes me?

Just quickly, I’ve also noticed that people are getting into ‘banter spats’ on my Facebook Fan Page….Just so you know…regardless. I adore y’all! If it wasn’t for your engagements…this land would not be worth it..and I never take that for granted.

It’s pretty rubbish weather today. It’s almost like the skies can’t decide what to do? I want Summer, or at least Spring to shimmie on in now. I don’t like this inbetweeny weather. I’m not grey. I’m not a fence sitter. I need a choice. It effects my outfits. 😉

Before I tinker off…The other day, after a shoot, I stopped to have a chitter with one of my good friends Scott…It was a phone interview and I was sat in my car, at night, in my pyjamas…. But please to click below and take a listen….We’re talking celeb gossip, my time on the Hilton show, ‘behind the scenes’ glamour modelling and my dating life..

I’ve godda go!

Thank you for following my life….

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Dude What’s The Password…?

I have literally sailed through the most blissful and busiest time in Wunnaland. From Thursday to probably about an hour ago, I feel as though i’ve been dashing, dashing, meeting, greeting, smiling, moaning, hand shaking, dressing up, dressing down, travelling, working and cocktailing. IT HAS BEEN NON STOP and so much has happened that I don’t even know where to begin.

So, whilst i’m glamourous sat, moderately hung over, with a Desperado as my company and the random Celtic vs Ranger game on as ‘background’ in The Mallard Doncaster….with my new weave sat next to me, waiting for tomorrow’s debut, where it has the glory of being clipped into my head and some 20 something boys to my right, who I don’t at all know, playing on the bandit…I’ll rewind you to last night…

Last night, Fairytale Blond, Double B, Mel & I, whilst being all glammed up and lost in a hilarious yet glittery swirl of drunken light and life…decided it would A GREAT IDEA to stand outside the GENTS TOILETS at the dark and jazzy Pontefract pub the ‘Tap & Barrel’ (it was packed last night) and NOT LET GENTLEMAN of any type or ages, GO FOR A WEE, UNLESS THEY COULD GUESS ‘THE PASSWORD.’ 🙂 LOL.

WHY ARE WE ACE!

Honestly, we’re the funniest girls alive! I mean, who is as genius as us! We ended up squashed infront of the GENTS, on a bench, due to the *packedness* of the place, by moody candlelight…and instead of being grumbly..and we had been cocktailing ALL NIGHT we took it upon ourselves to utterly enjoy every minute of our *spot* and make our own FUN.

THE BEST TIME EVER!

So, a guy would saunter up to the loo for a *widdle.* As soon as he got to the door, he was ABRUPTLY STOPPED by either Double B, Fairytale Blond Or I…and forced to hold their wee until they guessed the password. 🙂

Once they guessed the password, they were allowed entry.

On the way out, they’d swing open the door and *BAM* Fairytale blond would stick out her arm, leg or body and REFUSE TO LET THEM PASS (lol) unless they reiterated the password.

The password was…

PUSSY ARMPIT.

And we really wouldn’t let them pass unless they were chubby, where in which they were given a ‘WILD CARD’ entry of us aggressively PUSHING THEM into the boy’s loo’s…whilst shouting.,,

GO!GO!GO!GO!

OR…

Double B & Fairytale Blond would connect hands and make a beautiful archway out of their delicate, not at all drunken arms and I would look at the dude and very glamourously state that they had to..

‘ENTER THE LOVE TUNNEL…’

…as the girls danced with their arms in an archway! 🙂

It was the best game ever..the boys were coming out of the loo’s looking terrified OR just going to the loo to play our game.

Fairytale: NO! What’s the password?’

Double B: ‘We don’t fucking care…this is hilarious.’

Mel: What ARE YOU doing?’

Me: ‘Enter the tunnel of loooooooooooove..’

Then we did more gin…See this is why MY VLOG is going to be better than anyone else, simply because my friends and I are naturals at being tools. If we filmed our ‘what’s the password’ moment, it would’ve gone viral this morning. 🙂

But how did this all start…

Let’s take you down a glamourous trip down memory lane…

I’ve worked all day and arrived in from London that morning to hustle through another day. I was shattered, but wanted to embrace a good time. I’m positive and even though things can be shattering, you just have to smash it and know how lucky you are to be where you are and have what you have.

Double B has recently moved into her new house and fancied herself a cocktail at The Electric Theatre which is now her local cocktail and tapas bar. Fairytale Blond was in the neighbour visiting friends, since Prince Jonny was out for drinks, after a day of finding very Disney birds nests, so she met up with Double B at The Electric Theatre for a tipple and tapas.

Mel…was out with her other close friends, for her birthday shindig and has chosen The Electric Theatre as he birthday haunt..and I was shattered from my day of traveling, meetings, the blog awards, more meeting, early morning trains, followed by a full day of work hungover…that I just wanted to have a bit of fun. Yes everything I do is glammy and delicious and an absolute blast…but there were good times, bad times, lonely times and happy times over the last 2 days. I wanted some fun, with the girls that I love…and we all need great chick friends…so I decided to head over to The Electric Theatre for about 40 cocktails and bouji table tapas.

The place was filled with life, glammy girls, friendships, a spray of old school yet modern charm, a table of the finest tinker sof tapas, banter, laughter, emotional moments and a glittery spray of the most delicious and multi coloured cocktails in all of the land.

‘Why does my drink look like it has a birds bush in it?’

‘Gimme some of that?’

‘I’ve known Mel for ages..’

‘As if you’ve just made me cry…’

‘Have you had a meatball…they’re spicy…’

‘I once tried to break up with a boy, so i told him that I had cheated on him twice with two dicks, and sucked all the dicks in all the land. It was just dicks, dicks, dicks, everywhere dicks in a line and he STILL DIDN’T LEAVE ME. Lol.’

‘Look at these bad boys..’ (A silver diamante show is raised.)

‘You should definitely give him sex..’

‘Why don’t you dress up for him?’

‘Are you going into town?’

(I definitely answered ‘Fairytale Blonds’ phone when Prince Jonny Called. Technically she did tell me to, so i committed to a ‘Hey Baby Boo’ and maybe offered him willy stuff, whilst pretending to be ‘Fairytale’…‘Chrissie, I know it’s you. Put Fairytale on…’ Now, I’ve talked to nearly all of their boyfriends dirty. Hurrah! 🙂 )

Mel looked so gorgeous and so happy to be in her swirl. I watched her all night and she’s beamed. It was a cocktail infused beam. But she was happy. I’m really close to Mel and once she likes you, you’re IN and she’ll hold you close to her heart.

Fairytale, Double B and I are immature and glamourous drunkards. We went for it and had the single most hilarious time in the world ever. Infact for the first time we got really open with one another…We’re open anyway, yet there are levels to friendships, as there are in love and last night, I cried a little and because I was so proud of how empowering and tough my chick friends are.

We are the warmest, most loving girls, but we are WARRIORS! We’re good time, money making machines! 🙂 We had the best night ever.

‘I’ve been through so much in my life that nothing can hurt me now.. and not because of anything other than the fact that i choose to be and remember the positive.’

Then as a lady named Tanya was telling me about her fondness of buff gents, I noticed a calm and quiet ‘Carol.’ I LIKED CAROL because she is the kind of lady who will NEVER say a bad word about anyone. She’s humble, she has a great time, but she’s quiet and observes everything, rather than commit to being a showman. (I’m a showman.) When she speaks, you listen because every thign she says is of so much worth.

Mel: Honestly Chrissie, i’ve known her for years…she’ll never say anything and then when she does…she’s ALWAYS FUCKING RIGHT. She told me she didn’t like that other guy and she never ever says a bad word about anyone.’

I love Carol because there’s a sexiness about her manner. Infact, I think i need to be less brash and more warm..as I keep meeting all these warm and delightful people..once was a vicar, who told me that it was his ffity year anniversary with his wife and he loves her just as much as he did when he first mether outside Woolworths when he was fifteen

He then told me that he MARRIED HER before they even had sex! 🙂

HAHAHA. I love that a Vicar told me about his sex life! Lol.

Last night was a blast, it was a much needed accidental swirl of magical and glamourous cocktailly, well wishes, bad boy heels, friendships, good times, laughter, new faces, memories, empowerment, tom foolery and…

‘FOURTEEN QUID FOR A FUCKING TAXI?’

Right, I have to dash, as I have a 3pm meeting to get ready for, but Ill tell you all about meeting Jack Parson’s in my next blog, as I travelled down to London for the UK Blog Awards,

I am being hailed as the UK’s Carrie Bradshaw & I’m loving it as if anything I want to make sure that all my work is strong, I’m doing something that i love, i’m making a living out of doing something that I love and that as I’m telling my story, I am empowering and inspiring every person i verbally touch.

Jack is currently being hailed as a ‘Young Richard Branson.’ I know! That’s not a shabby title..

But yeah…i’ll tell you all about my London times later…

 

 

 

 

But where will it land? ;)

Friday was AWESOME. I had the busiest week of business work this, business work that…There were make ups, break ups, good news, the end of struggles, winners, losers and re *pop ins* by our favourite ‘Gingerbell.’ I actually began Friday by sending ‘my swirl’  a morning message, which produced a reply that made my eyes smile…(HE IS AMAZING)…then as I was wondering around with a glammy skip in my step and a glint in my eye, I sort of bounced into  ‘Double D’ doing a cry, because his girlfriend whopped out the..

‘…we’re just going in different directions’ line. 🙁

I hugged him…and then made him make everyone a brew. Lol. (I’m shit like that. 🙂 )

Me: ‘Have you texted her and talked to her about it all? She could change her mind?’

Firmonnell: ‘Don’t text her. It’s good that you leave it, so she has chance to miss you.’

Yet away from that..it was really great to see the end of Friday approaching and simply *WHACK* on the radio, sing a long to some old school tunes and indulge in Wunna Land GIRL BANTER, with my favourite chick sidekicks, in all of the land.

I always tell you, that we’re all glamourous, all sassy, all DIFFERENT, all ages, yet we all seem to have the same DISTURBING sense of humour. I love a laugh. I am a laugh and when it all turns inappropriate with a…

‘You’re not gonna let him actually CUM IN you, are ya!!!’

We all armed up, got our giggle heels on and WENT FOR IT…and when we go for it…WE ARE AWFUL…because only WE FIND IT FUNNY…

(If you’re about to head to Church…I apologize for the rest of this blog…’)

Me: ‘Boys just don’t CUM IN YOU, you idiot. They’re more cautious these days…They don’t do it, unless they want to make a baby…’

‘They might assume you’re on something when you’re not and just go for it.’

(Dipper randomly walks down and finds himself thrown into our conversation….and with a…

‘The banter down here is AMAZING. I might need to drill a hole through my floor to see and hear you all! But yeah, it’s really hard to not CUM in a girl when you’re in the moment.’

Me: ‘Drill a hole in your floor. HAHAHA! That’s the perviest thing ever! As IF you want a perv cam, so you an just hear about us talk about sex…’

Gingerbell: ‘So what’s going on with you Chrissie? You’ve always got news…I’ve been really boring and sensible…I went to the Doctors and he asked if I was pregnant. Lol. A FUCKING CHANCE WOULD BE A FINE THING…lol.’

Dipper: ‘Yeah, I wanna hear it…I’m married I never get any…Lol.’

Fairytale Blond, *BLUSH/BLUSH/BLUSH*

Double B: ‘I DID TELL HIM THAT I WILL SUCK A DICK IF HE GETS ME MY…’

Firmonnell: ‘Ooh i’m excited! I have date night tonight! AND every week now I come onto Big D…’

(I love Firmonnell for that, as Big D…who is her husbands… expressed how it’d be nice for HER to ‘sass’ on up to HIM once in a while, instead of him coming on to her…She listened…she smiled…and every week she now hits forwardly on her man, without him initiating the ‘ooh’ and they get busy…the good old fashioned way. 😉  THAT IS HOT!)

Fairytale Blond then read a not so expressive text…and simply replied with an ..

‘ok.’

Hahahaha!

Then and because it was FRIDAY we took it upon ourselves to play a game. Previous games we’ve played have been called, ‘Bitch or Booked?’

Friday’s game was called…

‘Where will it LAND?’

Oh my LORD, the funniest time we have had in ages…We were literally crying in stitches, as we all decided to place bets on where any cum will land on a being who was about to have sex! DYING.

Me: Tits! £3 on Tits.

Gingerbell: £3 on tummy

Fairytale Blond *BLUSH*

Double B: Belly button There’s nothing like a belly button cum shot.’

People even WHATSAPPED IN with bets, as banter got that stupid! Lol

Mel: ‘FACE’

Prince Jonny: ‘Hair.’

Double D: My life savings on ALL IN.

Me: You don’t have any life savings????’

I mean who needs the fucking Grand National! Where will it land? A much better wager. Lol.

Then Gingerbell, who i’ve missed goes out of her way to mention that she would probably DO ANYTHING for £25,000, if it wasn’t Illegal. So we obviously got distracted and started giving her options…(Gingers are saucy.)

‘Would yooooooou….Take two…………..’

‘Would yooooooou……’

(Ill let you fill in the blanks. 🙂 We were far too disturbing on all sorts levels. It got so bad, we had to stop playing.But on the up, we obviously have very vivid imaginations. Hahah! It’s a plus. Honest!)

Double B, then decided to inform me that there’s some middle aged lady who can’t stop orgasming ALL OF THE TIME, because it’s an illness.

‘No, like literally…just can’t stop orgasming. I don’t mean needs sex all the time. I mean, she’ll be at the shop and just randomly start orgasming. Lol’

Then I enlightened the bunch by sharing my ‘no cum in mouth’ blowjob technique.

Double B: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

‘Me: ‘It’s the anticipation that terrifies me…I’m gonna cum….i’m gonna cum….i’m gonnna…*&$*”*’

Gingerbell: ‘It’s at the point where you just need to gulp! Don’t think. Just gulp.’

Me: Lol. Don’t be silly. I do that sly wanky off/ sucky thing, when they’ve ‘merried’ in our mouth, yet you sneakily let it run out the side of your mouth, without them noticing and pretend you’ve swallowed it. LOL.

That was Friday.

Today…I have lunch and cocktails.

I have THE BEST CHICK FRIENDS EVER. I mean, sometimes you just need a giggle, a banter, a bit of free chat in the name of utter humour, in order to keep you all ALIVE. It keeps you from going stale. Keeps the air around you juicy. AND makes you feel like you’re living instead of simply JUST existing.

The best thing about that banter…wasn’t the fact that we were being mucky for kicks…it was the LAUGHTER, the happiness, the magic, the atmosphere, the energy, the hilarity and the smiles on our faces as we threw our heads back in absolute fits of GIGGLES.

I have GREAT CHICK FRIENDS.