Girls Night, Flirts & Extra Big Gin Pours

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Hiya! I know it’s been ages since a blog. You’ve all had a moan at me. Lol. But I’m here! It’s been mental. There’s been all kinds of influencing, work and fun. The babies have been auditioning. I’ve been auditioning. We’ve been keeping our sparkle a float, booz!

I’ve just been enjoying myself really, with friends, family…andyone who wants to join the conga line of fun. The kids go back to school soon, so I wanna make sure I embrace my time with them, which is a tinker of a juggle, due to work and baby daddy exchanges. YET, completely worth it, worth it, worth it!

I’ve still been out and about, i’ve lunched, I’ve shopped, i’ve tippled and loved. Therefore, bit by bit, i’ll shimmie my story of the last few days out to you…because i’ve literally done SO much, that I wouldn’t even know where to begin?

I’ve been everywhere & always with a cocktail in my hand!

I think i’ve also ‘sassed up’ a little bit actually. My inner ‘diva’ seems to be swirling through my system right now. I’m strutting about like a ‘girl boss,’ without a care in the world. But there’s a smile in my heart…and a ‘dolly’ warmth, that you should absolutely be terrified of.

Anyway… *Rein me in*….I’ll start here…

Okay, so, the other evening I got to hang out with my ‘Firmonnell’ and ‘Hustle Barbie.’ We’ve been through so much together. I mean, we’ve watched each other laugh, cry, lie, win and fall. We’re all single. We’re all sexy. We’re all drinkers, thinkers and really good winkers. 😉 They’re now roomies (after hot little breakups)  and they’re a couple of my closest chick friends.

I adore them because whenever I hang out with them, a magic happens.  We’re alive, with no judgements, no fear…just fun! And just recently, when i’m not at work or with my babies, i’ve been feeling quite bored. I’ve been looking around me and yawning. I’m an exciting girl and I need adventure. So a girls nights with them, was a really good fix of fun. It reminded of me of who I was again…

Sling back that fruity gin & adjust that flipping wonderbra.

‘Are you in pants?’

Me: ‘Don’t be so stupid… It’s a night out. I never where pants.’

The good things is, whenever we’re out…the boys just seem to flock? (It’s a good mixture of boobies, banter, good looks and energy. Lol)

Firmonnell: ‘Well, fill me in then. I don’t  wanna talk about your work. Who are you dating? Who you sleeping with?’

Hustle: ‘I feel overdressed. Take a picture of me! A smiling one and a non smiling one. I don’t like that one. You’re shit at picture taking.’

Me: ‘I’ve drank all day since 12.01.’

Remember… ‘Firmonnell’ is literally my bestest, best friend EVER and she is probably the only human in the glittery world, who actually knows EVERYTHING about me. I tell her everything…without censor, or an ‘untruth’ tag, swinging from it.

Laaa Deee Daaa…

I always think, people sometimes assume they know a lot about me…But ‘Firmonnell’ with a* finger snap* and a *hip bump* ACTUALLY does!! Her red stiletto is firmly STAMPED in  the heart of Wunna Land…emotionally, physically and mentally. Plus, both Hustle and Firmonnell, are the kind of friends, who just make things easier on you, without drama.

Firmonnell: ‘I found a diary….’

Me: ‘Ooh, I love a diary…’

Firmonnell:….’ of when I lost my virginity.’

She couldn’t tell if she’d lost it or not…? Lol.  I mean does 2 minutes count? But honestly, does it? As I’m sure I could go back in time and start crossing boys off my list, if it doesn’t??

Losing your virginity is awful.  But the first time you do anything in life, (well, the things that people wrongly underline as a taboo).…You’ll always find is shit. Debauchery really is a habit, one that is created due to consistency…It’s a pastime i’ve nailed over the years.

Hurrah! Sinning for everyone!

Anyway, double gins were poured, I had Peroni’s, before wine because I wanted to line my tummy. I’d been at Clam & Cork in Doncaster (It’s a new trendy seafood & champagne bar, set in the market) and I’d  had oysters all day for lunch, before girls night! 😉 I loved the Clam & Cork by the way. You should all go! It’s such a clever little idea and literally the service and food was DIVINE.

There’s a coolness to it.

The oyster thing did kinda worry me though, because I know that oysters are meant to make you horny? I didn’t wanna do GIRLS NIGHT, feeling  like I needed to dry hump a lamppost. So I had a Guinness straight afterward, at the nearest pub because I thought it would cancel out any aphrodisiac. I don’t know why, I thought that? Haha. Welcome to my mind. It’s the same logic I use for Bloody Mary’s…

‘Techincally it’s food, because it’s got tomatoes in… You call it cocktail. I call it breakfast.’

(I’ve actually had hundreds of Bloody Mary’s for breakfast before, in my time.)

And chewing gum…

‘Technically, it’s a snack…You’re chewing…’

Back to girls night…..

Before you know it, we sort of went from 0 to hero in seconds, and surrendered to a innocent fun, that was dashed in ‘little girl’ excitement. We’re all so alive right now and young spirited. We’re flirty. Yes. But when were out, we’re kind of in own little bubble of fun, that we don’t really care about what’s going on around us. We’ll talk to everyone…and we did. We’ll sing, we’ll dance, we’ll selfie…we’ll laugh at each other’s pain.

Yet, these guys had shown up…

Hustle: ‘Ron’s coming with his mates… Can we all just be lovely and say nothing please…’

I LOVE HER.

(Hasn’t Hustle just had her Vagina BLESSED in Bali? I swear that makes it’s squeaky clean and innocent with a cherry on top? I’m sure the Bali Gods, erased all vagina history.)

Basically…’Hustle Barbie’ invited a guy, who she fancies...(which is always fun)…for drinks.

One minute he was called Anthony. The next minute his name was ‘Ron’ (because he’s apparently so obsessed with ‘Harry Potter.’)

Me: ‘Ewww! NO! I hate that! Don’t date a crazy Harry Potter fan.’

Firmonnell: ‘He’ll always be Ron and never Harry.’

Me: ‘That’s too much for me…

He was thoughtful though, because he tended to ‘Hustle’s’  vegan values. He  didn’t want her to witness his friends ripping chicken off the bone, with their teeth, like savages, during a late dinner…So he *paused* their rendezvous, until no drippy, ‘finger licking’ chicken munching, could be ever seen.  So romantic of him!

Thoughtfulness is the new sexy.

Last year, I kept trying to be vegan….Well, not Vegan…more veggie… with Hustle Barbie.  Yet I caved and had a bag of pork scratchings…. because i’m such a good support system. 🙂

TEAM GLAM SQUAD. That’s life!

Anyway, ‘Ron’ brought two mates with him….I didn’t know them? They were quite quiet.  ‘Firmonnell’ tried to make one of them guess her name…and he went with…

‘JANE.’

Me: HAHAHAHAHA!

Firmonnell: ‘Errrugh! As if you think I look like a JANE.’

Boy: ‘Sally?’

Firmonnell: ‘I like Autumn. Autumn Costello.’

Me: ‘You look like an Autumn!!! ‘

Hustle: ‘We look like Autumn, Summer & Winter. You look so Asian today Chrissie?’

Me: ‘I am Asian???’

Anyway, that guy got bored and left Firmonnell & I outside, after we told him how shit he was at name guessing… So we found new friends to play ‘banter’ with. ..and it was so much more good fun, than just sitting….and nodding…..around appalling name guessing games, tits, red lipstick and muscles.

It turned into the best time!

When it comes to guys, I like you to look good, sure!  YET, I adore a good solid bit of banter! Or someone who is smoooooth with the charm. I want them to care for me, look after me and make me laugh. A six pack can’t do that!

Hustle: ‘Why have you taken your hands out of your hand bag??? Keep them in there, bitch!’

(Just one of their sick, twisted roomie wife games.)

Me: ‘My wine’s gone straight to my head.’

Firmonnell: ‘Is that the guy who you went in the bush with??? The anal guy! Haha’

Me: ‘Yeah..’

Firmonnell: ‘Good! Let’s go talk to him…I love that I called him poor..’

Me: ‘Haha. Well, He shouldn’t go on my phone, if he can’t handle the banter..’

We all chatted, as Hustle began to sophisticatedly seduce ‘Ron’ in the distance, …then Firmonnell decided to call the bush boy ‘poor’ AGAIN…and after laughs, he stated that he was gonna ‘Piss on her house.’

Yippppeeeee!

Drinking, drinking, selfie taking….

Hustle: ‘Shall we go to Tap & Barrel?’

Boys: ‘Girls! Come!’

Me: ‘I’m not going into town..’

Firmonnell: ‘I’m not leaving yet!’

Boys: ‘We’ll go to that gin bar…’

Then Hustle and Ron decided to have private words of love over gin, in some corner…So we all went outside. Then ‘Firmonnell’ told Reece & Ben that they were being so boring.

Boys: ‘What! You left to go sit somewhere else!’

Firmonnell: ‘Yes….ON AN EMPTY TABLE BECAUSE IT WAS MORE FUN THAN YOU.’

Hahah. I love her.

Boys: ‘We’re not the boring ones.  HE IS, inside..’

Firmonnell: ‘You’ve just been sat there with ya muscles, being dull and square..’

Boys: ‘ Well, I’ll not train shoulders for a week then, so I look fun, shall I!!!’

Then weirdly, the stars twinkled above us and because ‘Firmonnell’ has a way of just knowing how to win people over….ALL of  sudden, the tight tshirted, muscle bound toyboys, were our besties??

They were laughing and bantering, flirting and shirting…and the world had taken a turn..

Reece: ‘Where’s Bruce?’

Me: ‘Who’s Bruce?’

Firmonnell: ‘We call him Ron… Don’t tell him though…’

Me: ‘Why is he called Anthony, Ron AND Bruce??’

Reece: ‘When he was young, he was really chubby and we called him Bruce because he had a stutter?’

I’m not sure how that makes ANY sense at all? Yet, they did then try to force us to call Ron, ‘Bruce’ and make him feel awkward, because then he would stutter.

AAAAAWWWwwwwwwww! Noooooooooo! I’m a NO BULLY ZONE.

We couldn’t be arsed…

Anyway, they all ventured to play ‘party’ on new razzly pastures…and ended up at the new cocktail bar, Mxyology. I stayed in the pub and chilled with a different Antony…who ended up with a red studded dog lease around his neck, before he tried to then go on to steal the actual dog. This was a lady named Marie told me thather husband where’s her under garments…

No. Wait…

Leggings. 😉

Happy Wednesday.

I had a good news phone call today!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prosecco, Mel & Sunstroke…

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Happy Sunshine. Gosh! It’s Bliss! As if we have an ENTIRE WEEK of blistering warmth, to celebrate our Yorkshire Summer. I don’t know why i’m so chipper about it because ‘sunny times’ are total ‘DANGER ZONE’ for me. The booty shorts come out, the hair flick gets bigger, the ‘sunnies’ get left on any or every bar table in town (i’m awful for saving sunglasses) and worst of all, I get EXTREMELY distracted by ‘good, good times.’ I’m REALLY gonna have to focus on getting work done, as ‘YOLO’ will get the better of me.

I need to pull myself together….AGAIN

I hung out with my good friend Mel on Friday evening, in the sun, over iced prosecco. She looked amazing. She looked really happy and I love that, because it’s contagious. I like to see her happy. She’s been through a lot.

It was so great to see her, because we’ve ended up being really close friends, which is good going to say we began our rapport by ‘BLANKING’ each other and maybe hitting the ‘dislike’ button on occasion. (I didn’t dislike her. I was terrified of her. She disliked me. 🙂 However, now, she’s one of my closest. I’ve EARNED my way into her heart..and if you know Mel, that takes some ******* doing. lol) 

Any time, your chick friend arrives early, (I was already at The Carlton, having a quick drink after work, with Jodie, Scott, KatyP, Golfer Jonny, Ginger Brad, Our Gav and a ‘boys night.’) But yes, sorry..anytime your chick friend arrives early, with an ice cold bucket and cheeky bottle of ‘ready to pour’ prosecco in her hand, You KNOW it’s noting but true love.

You don’t strut up towards Wunna Land, without a drink in your hand. It’s the rules…

I love a surprise appearance and with a strut and a ‘BEAM’ and a…

‘I’ve messaged you to say I was early and bought us prosecco…’

‘Shit, I didn’t see it.. Firmonnell’s fuming that I’m here. Haha. She hopes we have a shit time…’

…we shimmied over to our own little table and caught up on life, in the Yorkshire sunshine. I was honestly so happy to see her because I’ve missed her so much and sometimes, you don’t realize how much you miss someone, until you see them again… in the sunshine. Everything’s better in the sunshine.

(The last time I saw her I walked through her front door with a bunch of yellow tulips, before people had *dance offs* to Tina Turner tracks, as I sipped berried prosecco out of gold rimmed flutes and nibbled my favourite olives.) 

‘I got you your favourite olives…You love these.’

I’ve always say that this chapter of my life has caused me to be a rubbish friend…Well, no..I’ll take responsibility and say, I kinda chose to be a rubbish friend. I prioritized things differently, this year.

However, I’ve noticed that I’m never a rubbish friend to Mel. (Probably because she won’t have any of it. I respect her for that. Haha. She’s a real life trooper and I have a lot of love for her, simply because you don’t **** with Mel…EVER. She’s kind once she let’s you in…She’s fun, once she lets you in…)

I have loads of close chick friends, yet really different relationships with them all…We’re all close, but completely different girls…But I like that…What we have in common is GREAT SOULS..and hideous drinking habits.

Firmonnell and I can always be rubbish to each other, even though she’s never rubbishy to me, because we’re soulmates. Our souls entwine as one…to the point where she makes me think I only need her and not even a man in my life…Lol. (Real Talk. Aside from my family and KatyP, she’s probably the only person I speak to every single day.) 

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*I’ve definitely only put the above paragraph up, so she doesn’t feel as **** for me hanging out with Mel. Haha*

Plus, she says she never reads the blog, because she ‘doesn’t have to read this **** as she knows me in real life…‘ Lol. Which I like, because now I can write whatever I want about her and she’ll never know, OR EVEN BETTER have to ADMIT, that she’s read it. 🙂 

Shush! I’m joking. I love her.

So, Mel and I chattered about life, our love lives to be honest. We’ve kinda had a hard time in love, because that’s the way Cupid wanted it to pan out. I don’t know why, we find it so hard to settle down, even suitors appear through the years and wish to ‘settle?’ I always think, I haven’t because i’m happy and I haven’t yet met the right man.

But we’re single, we’re alive, we’re independent women, with our own careers and children, making the best of what we have.

Then I don’t know what happened, but she started to talk to me and as she did, I started to feel dizzy. I started to feel sick? I felt really drunk. Like it *popped* out of nowhere. I’d only had two drinks before she arrived and I’d only had a glass of prosecco. I felt really woozy, to the point where I her face zoned out…and I just couldn’t even sit up for another second. Lol

‘I need the loo…’

So I rushed off and in the loo, and in the cubicle I felt really poorly. So poorly, I was sick. (I always do this when I’m with Mel. Not the last time, but the time before, I puked in her washing up bowl. Lol) 

I got back and I felt moderately better, but still woozy.

Me: ‘I’ve been sick.’

Mel: ‘What? You always do this with me. How much did you have before I got here?’

Me: ‘Nothing. Just two drinks.’

Mel: ‘We need chip butties…’

(You can tell we’re Northern. We don’t wear tights in winter and we always think comfort food solves all life issues.) 

So chip butties came, because Mel, is literally the Hostest with the Mostest.’ She’s sassy, but she’s really good at taking care of people. She’s nurturing…and THANK GOD, cos i’m awful at looking after adults. Lol. I’m also awful if people cry in front of me, because i never know what the appropriate call of duty is….other than ‘Do you need a wine?’

I couldn’t eat my chip butty…I need to eat more. Then ‘Boys Night’ kept coming up to me, a boy at a time and asking for hugs and love.

‘Why are you all hugging me on boys night? Why are you looking at me? Do boys night, at boys table. We’re doing girls night!! Lol’

‘We just want a hug. Why you being boring..?’

So, I hugged, felt ill, then Tanya (Mel’s Friend) came and I got my second wind! It came out of nowhere and I was back on form. We did another two ice buckets of prosecco and yeah, tipsy then happened.

But we were happy tipsy.

Life filled with laughter and chick tales. (And more hugs from ‘Boys Night.’ I’m honestly like a ‘stag do/boys night’ prop. If boys are out, on a boys night, they sight me and want me to join the party. A bit like Sheffield really. I’m back in Sheffield in a couple weeks.) 

Anyway, I thought I was drunk, hence why I was sick? Makes total sense. But it turns out, (according to my little Doctor Mum) that I had sunstroke. I’m a slow drinker. But I’m a good drinker, in the sense that you’ll never see me falling about. I can do three drinks. That’s not going to make me puke ever.

So please be careful in the sun, this week. I’ve been in direct sunlight, all day long, with no water sipping, absorbing those rays and with wine in my hand always. It’s not good for you, if you’re not careful.

Then yesterday it was the football. I didn’t watch it. But I counted our goals on the cheers, that I heard. I caught up with KatyP and Claire, Golfer Jonny and his mates…Then Little Sam and His Blond Buddy Bud of Banter, with JD joined us..

Blond Buddy Bud: ‘Whenever I go to Bigfellas, random boys come up to me in the loos and tell me they can feel their Gaydar.’

Me: ‘It cos you have cherubim hair.’

Blond Buddy Bud: ‘And I have shoes at home, that i’ve named *Fellas.*

Sam: ‘You should go around the bar, in your wet tshirt, stop guys, tell them you can feel your Gaydar & see how long it takes for you to get punched. Chrissie, can we selfie for my Snapchat.’

Golfer Jonny’s friend Barney had a birthday. He doesn’t look like a gin guy, but he ginned it all day and started singing Wham songs. I like Barney because he once told a guy he looked like someone off the ‘Guess Who’ game. (Lol)

Barney: ‘Does he have a beard? No! Does he have hair? No. It’s HANK off Guess Who!!’

He also stated Golfer Jonny’s jeans were so tight, it looked like his bottom was ‘chewing a toffee’ and went to a chick’s loo, during a DATE, sat on her toliet seat and SNAPPED IT IN HALF, with his arse, due to a strong descent. Haha. 

Long story short. Lots of drama then occurred. I didn’t get to selfie. I didn’t stay out of the sun. I got home safe and woke up fine, this lovely morning.

I’ve got a lot of work to do. A book to write. I think i have birthday drinks this afternoon. I’ve got the babies after school. I have an audition. They actually have an audition to film. I’m feeling really lucky. I’m still pretty single.. I need to concentrate on work. Firmonnell’s throwing a BBQ on Sunday. I’m loving every single INCH of being Mummy. The babies are my WORLD. I’m back on your telly shortly…and I think I still have sunstroke? How do I make it better?

All my love,

Chrissie x

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Fairytales, A Bit Of Luck & a Very ‘Happy Ending?’ ;)

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I don’t even know what’s happening right now? I’m literally the luckiest little tinker in all of the world. I’m jammy. I’m a shit. But i’m really enjoying my little version of life and mainly because right now, I’m doing everything I love, everything I WANT to do and now no longer HAVING to do.

You’ll already also know, (because I shoved it all over my ‘socials,’ that I found part of my Spanish get away in the foreign press a few days ago…which made me smile. I shot a lot, so to see me headline, a little something, in a different land, made all the picture taking worthwhile.

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I like making foreign press, as with the blog being read all over the world, (which i’m grateful for)…I’m gonna be honest, all press or ‘look at me‘ around the globe… is pretty helpful. Having the blog is great for spreading Wunna Land news around the world…as is being a model….You travel a lot.

It honestly helps a great deal. The phone starts ringing so much, you start making up a dance routine to your ring tone….

But anyway….

I had a WUNNAFUL Thursday…Well….I think it was Thursday? Whatever day it was last week….We’re gonna fly with Thursday….

WUNNA LAND WENT MENTAL.

It was sort of good news, after good news, after great news phone calls, after really fucking phenomenal emails. Lol. Everything, I had been worrying about, turned out roses. Everything that I didn’t even know would happen…ended up being presented to me as a lucky opportunity….and being the high strung executive that I am.. ;)….I simply did what any professional would do…and that was…

JUMP UP AND DOWN MADLY ON A STOOL, IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM, SCREAMING WEIRD SHIT LIKE *YIPPPEEE* & *WOO* AS I LET THAT RUSH OF A WUNNA LAND BUZZ RADIATE FROM ME.

I was so giddy I could’ve giggled up martini’s and done *can can* kicks in a conga line..(and I hate conga lines, I  always feel  that they degrade people. Lol) You lose ALL SWIGEDDY SWAG in a conga line, just so you know. And it’s actually not the fun jiggly part, that makes you look like a lunatic It’s the part where in which the line…. drizzles off, into nothingness and no one knows what to do, other than look lost and act like it never even happened?? It’s a similar awkwardness to that of a dodgy one night stand.

It’s that part that solidifies it’s stamp of utter degradation. 🙂

But yeah, I don’t even know what’s going on? I’m just riding the beginners wave and enjoying it with love, my fingers crossed and excitement! And the reason why i’m so happy about the weird consecutive ‘good news’ thing, is because my life NEVER pans out this way. I USUALLY have TO FIGHT for a ‘good news’ result.

Now, it’s served up to me, with cocktail umbrellas and nipple tassles on. I can’t really believe? It’s weird because in life, I do feel as though i’ve done well. I’ve achieved. And my dreams have come true.

Yet, i kinda set all these other goals and dreams, each time I accomplish a ‘tick box’

Friend: ‘You’re actually going to do it Wunna!!!’

…and right now, it’s crazy, because it feels like i’m doing it again? And because i’ve worked so hard for it…It feels doubley great! You just feel so much more satisfied. I can’t even believe it. My life is changing again!

I feel like the luckiest girl alive…

..in work… 🙂 because we always know that my love life pretty much insists on being disobedient, as it refuses to dance up a happy ending.  Well, not the right kind of ‘happy ending.’ 🙂

(Sorry, i’m having a giggle to myself, because the last time someone, well lets say ‘happy endinged‘ on my back, or was it on my bum? I couldn’t see, I don’t know? Lol….The sentence they said, immediately after, as they did the loving tissue ‘wipe up’ was…)

‘HOW YOU DOIN’

Yes…in a ‘Joey‘ from ‘Friends‘ voice. Love it! Hilarious! (You know who you are! Lol) I actually messaged them yesterday to ‘check in‘ and see how Saturday had been to them? I think I annoy this human. But i’m rubbish via text. I always sound like a twat. At least in real life, I can charm the ‘swiney‘ bits away with boobs and eyelash flutters.

I had so much to tell you, but i’ve got completely distracted by ‘Happy endings.’

I’ll skim it.

So…This Wednesday, I’m at an event in Leeds, it’s the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event with Emma from ‘Love Island’ and I can’t wait simply because I love a good hair piece, so I’m excited to see what’s in store.

My best chick friend ‘Firmonnell’ has exceeded herself. I love her. She’s been drinking prosecco in caravans, to step digging with her mum at Motown nights. She’s felt rough, then after 30 minutes, found that she’s completely and utterly fine again..

Firmonnell: ‘What a different a wash and 30 minutes makes!’

Me: ‘Wow, you sound like a scruff bag.’

Her life seems delicious right now and i’m happy that she’s getting a good old swing in her step…Even if it drowns in prosecco pours. You know you have a bestie when they HAVE TO TELL you, how much you they adore you at 2am. That’s true love. I mean when I was in Spain….I recieved a message that read…

Firmonnell: ‘Are you back yet! I don’t like it when you’re out of the country!’

Me: ‘Don’t bother, i’m not in the mood to be missing you right now. I’m headed to the airport. You could’ve come.’

Firmonnell: ‘That’s cool. Swag it out. Oh and CHEERS! Are you a dick? You can’t invite someone to something, WHEN IT’S ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED!’

Hahaha. I love her. I love our mad 2am messages, even though our phones refuse to type ‘fucking’ and always ‘predictive text’ out the word ‘ducking’ instead. It’s sooo annoying!

WE DON’T EVEN LIKE DUCKS! It’s so annoying!!

But it’s not just girls and 2am prosecco messages,  It’s the same with boys also….

Get ready for this true fact….

IF A GIRL IS NOT DRUNK TEXTING YOU….YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT THE ONE MATE. 🙂

AND THAT IS THE HONEST TRUTH! LOL. 

Am i going to get away with wearing flip flops today? Cheap ones, with weird pretend flowers on? Lol

I’m hating on my wonky bottom tooth today. I’m trying to not let it bother me, but it is! I’m trying not to be vain. But I am. I hate it. I want it fixed. It’s ruining my banter. You can’t banter with a buck tooth. I want veneers like ‘Big Brother’ Simone….Her teeth were brilliant! Yet, instead i’m probably going to end up ‘influencing’ something that will lead me to straighter teeth.

Right, i’m done for now. I’m having a chill day with my Mum.

Have a great Sunday! Sundays are always my favourite!

(Pete, Ruby’s Dad is here to pick her up now for the day. It’s strange because Pete and I co parent really well. He’s sweet. We get on superbly. Yet, whenever he comes over for pick ups now, I always feel like he tries to linger, or come in the house, or see me…and i’m always in my own world, when I have down time…I like to withdraw from the pleasantries…So just to wind him up, I disappear and let my mum walk her out, or have Ruby greet him by herself. Lol I’m literally nowhere to be found! 🙂 Haha. I’ve even just heard him say ‘Is our mum in? Can I come in?’ Lol.) 

 

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Girls Nights, Cocktails & A Random Brave Message..

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Morning!!! So sorry, I couldn’t whizzle out a little bit of ‘diary’ yesterday. I don’t know what happened?  I just decided to  surrender to ‘knackeredness’ after the weekend. I felt tired and hungover and both my babies are currently off school, so I found myself having to slide through tunnels in the sunshine, whilst having a picnic. Even though that sounds delightful to some….the park is NOT a place to be hungover. Bottom line…Ruby & Junior LOVED it and I guess, when it comes to life and parenting…that’s all that matters.

I now, NEVER blog when I’m shattered, as my story always lacks the essential ‘gusto.’ And I also try to refrain from blogging when drunk (these days)…as like tipsy texting…the blog is very rarely written by me and often should be credited to vodka. (Yet, I do adore a Wunna drunk blog. The last one ended in me being sick.) 

Okay, so Saturday evening, I worked, I mummied and with a *wink* and a *shimmie,* I managed to FIT INTO my ‘diet dress‘ deliciously designed by The Kardashians, glam up, damn up and venture over to The Electric Theatre for ‘Fairytales’ 30th birthday. (I don’t do weight loss via scales and tape measures…I do it via goal dresses.)

Right, I haven’t seen all the girls, apart from ‘Firmonnell’ (who is my chick best friend,) in a really long while. My life tinkered me in a completely different direction….a far less bumpy road, filled with magic and selfie taking 😉 . Work & passion took my hand, things got busy, dreams came true and I sort of had to look behind me and *wave* them off, as I focused, on doing me, happiness and everything i’ve always wanted to.

(I told you, this is the chapter of my life, where I am being a shit friend…down to work.)

So, regardless, it was really good to bump into everyone, even though we couldn’t really ‘catch up.’ We dedicated the night to ‘Fairytale,’ who looked divine, tipsy and not even nearly 30! And we were there to make sure she knew that we adored her….via booze.

I was there first, even though the girls has NAGGED ME to make sure I turned up. I sent them a snapchat, after seeing they still had rollers in their hair and a boozy ‘ring of fire’ going on around a dining table. Lol.

‘You dicks. Don’t rush me here, when you’re not even fucking ready, let alone nearly HERE! Hustle’s still got rollers in! You’re shit friends. I’m here first. Lol’

They arrived…Pissed…and began hugging ans lip smooching me.

Firmonnell: ‘I feel really discombobulated from you right now!’

Me: ‘I feel like I have so much to say, but I can’t say it. I think it’s shocked my system being around everyone.’

(It was sort of like going back in time….glamourously, of course. We’re ‘dress up’ gals by nature, so we don’t like to look shit. There was one on the stage, one at the bar, two on the sofa and one squatted outside by a barrel and a play area with her hands over her mouth in shock. Lol But we all still looked fabulous.) 

WE DON’T PLAY.

I got to chitter with Mel, eye talk with ‘Firmonnell,’ have a dance with ‘Hustle Barbie’ and private convo with ‘Double B.’ (Who still fucking cracks me up.)

What I DID notice is how much my life has actually changed. I didn’t really notice until that night. Lol. I also realized that even though I don’t miss that part of 2017 at all, I do value my individual relationships with them. I prefer meeting them individually. I’ve actually met ‘Firmonnell’ a lot. We actually each have really different relationships with each other.

I also noticed that since my merry absence….they’ve all got skinnier and they’ve all got naughtier…

I absolutely LOVE IT.

These girls are  living FOR THEM, right now and nothing makes me *sizzle* more!

LIFE IS ABOUT CELEBRATING YOU, YOUR CHOICES, OWNING YOUR PATH AND GETTING HAPPY.

People waste so much time ‘thumb twiddling’ and being concerned over what others think. These girls are hilarious. The amount of times I heard…

‘I can do what I want’

…almost made my spine tingle. Lol. I’m a ‘do what I want’ kinda kitten. That’s why we adore each other.  I love listening to all their drama. It’s my favourite. And they’d listen to mine, all day, every day! But, right now….my life just seems so easy and peaceful.

Their drama trumps mine ‘errday.’

There was a moment when ‘Hustle’ (who looked beautiful) was perched on the edge of the sofa, that I was sat on, wondering whether the drink, she was drinking, was hers and said…

‘So, how IS everything you? What’s going on?’

And I didn’t know what to say….? And I don’t know why I didn’t know what to say? I just didn’t? Everything’s kinda really great right now and i think I daren’t say it out loud, in case ‘The Gods’ hear and fuck me over.

I’m doing what I love….and it’s accidentally going really well. I think, I’m still safe with that.

I didn’t really do much that night, I just chilled and chatted, because i’d rolled off a hectic week. I ‘caught up’ and stood with wine….But it was great to see everyone, and celebrate ‘Fairytale’ turning 30.

I have some great chick friends. I’m lucky. We make our own choices…Laugh about them. Cry about them…But value each others ways…

Then Sunday morning…

I woke up….

I rolled over in my sheets, grabbed my phone and scrolled through my emails. (I love naked, bed sheeted, kitten rolls, in the morning…as it means, if you have time to do them…. you’re not in a rush…)

Found a random one with ‘Noticed you at Electric Theatre ..Proposal’ as the subject title….

So, I clicked on it…and it read…

‘Chrissie

Tonight I noticed you at the electric theatre on a number of occasions at the birthday party.

I crossed eyes with you at the bar, while I was on a break between sets with the band – hope you had a good night out?

Little did I realize until now, that I was looking at a model/blogger from round the corner.

Your blogs are a really good read at first glance …….it says in your blogs that you believe in love at first sight ……well…….?

As they say in Yorkshire , if ya don’t ask ya don’t get…….so I’d be intrigued to know if you noticed me or just wondered why the hell was a guy staring at you…..but I guess you are used to that when you stand out like a sore thumb!

X’

Now, I’ll be honest…and say that I don’t really recall ‘catching eyes’ at the bar, with anyone? All I remember at the bar, where the girls going on about ‘shots per text.’ But I do remember, looking at one of the guys who played in the band, whilst I was on the dance floor, because I was sure that I knew him from somewhere, but couldn’t figure out where?

However, I do love that you sent me that message, as that took a great deal of Goolies….and it’s romantic, it’s sweet. Now, I don’t know whether you read the blog or not? But if you are reading this today…whizz me another email…and we can absolutely go for a drink…  a ‘friendly’ as I like to call them. That took loads of balls, and probably a few drinks…and even though I can’t remember the moment…I do actually appreciate your message.

Then as all girls do….the ‘morning after’ group ‘Whatsapp’ was going mental.

First Mel thanked ‘Fairytale’ for inviting her…After moderately bollocking me for ‘sloping off’ without saying bye. ( I love sloping off.) We all told ‘Fairytale’ how great she was and hoped she had a lovely time….Then I plonked in the above email….

…and it all went down hill from there?

‘Who was that?’

Me: ‘I don’t know? I fell in love and didn’t even realise?’

Hustle: ‘I can actually remember most of my night for a change.’

(I had stated that night, that it hasn’t started until ‘Hustle’ has skidded across the floor on her arse.) 

‘It was good. I have no beer fear! Lol’

Fairytale: ‘I’m sweating worse than an otters pocket.. and I can’t stop thinking about your bum hole Chrissie.’

Hustle: ‘Chrissie’s bum hole? What did I miss?’

Me: ‘Was I not in the same place as everyone last night? I don’t remember falling in love or my bum hole?’

Fairytale: ‘I’ll say one word…Jonny.’

(Jonny is Fairytale’s boyfriend.) 

Me: ‘Jonny, did me up the bum? This just gets worse…’

Double B: ‘Hahaha, I honestly have no idea what’s going on here?’

Fairytale: ‘Jonny pinched my phone…Lol’

Me: ‘It’s too early for this shit…What is going on???’

Then I got saved, because as soon as I placed my phone down on my bed side table, it *pinged* again….

(Whatsapp…Other friends….)

Kate: ‘SO!!! No date happened last night. Lol. BUT I ended up having a date with a different guy in the end by accident!!

Me: ‘Omg! As If. I need to know everything…’

Kate: ‘Lol…What you up too? Meet you at The Carelton in 10…?

Spring Cleans, Hollywood & Really Dodgy Fetish Parties ;)

I’m feeling all boated and knackered today, but i’ve got in the bag. My ‘Va Vooms’ on fire and because I feel like the busiest bee in all of the beautiful land…(Bee’s never look that busy to me, they just look like they try and SOUND busy, yet really they just fly around stinging people, whilst being stripey…) However, yes…I am busy with ‘the niggly bits’ the bits I despise. The bits where it comes in really handy, if OTHER PEOPLE do them for you. 🙂

*PLEASE HELP! HELP AWAY!*

And because I hate all things ‘niggly’ and it’s not wine o clock yet….I stayed really focused and distracted myself 🙂 by not concentrating, Googling bikinis and instead cleaned three rooms of my home from top to bottom, listening to ‘Little Mix’ in pyjama bottoms and a bra, and making work calls.

If I ever decide to clean my home that intensely from top to bottom…You know that I must be trying to bury my head in the glittery sand. I once threw out a pan and bought a new one simply because I couldn’t be arsed to clean it. 🙂

It’s like the most boring distraction in the world ever. It’s lame. Don’t do it. Sleeping with Greek men in togas is a good distratcion…Seeing what Michelle Keegan looks like in a bikini is a distraction…Cocktails…Friends, Banter….ANYTHING.

However, Scrubbing and hoovering is NOT! It’s shit. I only did it to burn extra ‘cos i’m bloated’ calories. But now i feel like I need 20 wines…

I have a really busy next 2 weeks…maybe 3 weeks…It’s jammed and at the same time i’m armed with The Wunna Babies. (Ruby squeezed all my Johnsons Baby Lotion of the pink bottle and and filled it up with water. That was fun. That was great! What a beautiful child. Didn’t at all make me want to RIP MY **&&*&*$$£”””” hair out. 🙂

Like the time when my LA guy roommate kept trying my clothes on in secret, when I was younger. I’d lay them all out, ready for a night on the razzle. I’d come back, after skipping off to buy wine, to find them inside out, worn…and smelling of sweaty boy. Lol. But much better than the time, I walked back in after late night Hollywood drinks…and found 7 grown up males, in pretend NAPPIES/DIAPERS, drinking beer and dancing in the living room….

I walked in with my best friend, who’s now a really successful film producer..(Good switch from ‘Party Boy’) and all I could hear was them panicking and shouting…

‘FUCK!!! DUDE!!!!! SHE’S FUCKING BACK ALREADY! DON’T LET HER GO UPSTAIRS.’

But me being Me…It weirdly didn’t bother me. Lol. I found it really funny..Plus, nothing is WORSE than having a secret fetish party and having a human, (who’s not part of the fun) *surprise* walk in…Let alone ‘surprise walk in’ and ALSO make you feel SHITTY… (Yet they were in diapers? Lol. I’m ridiculously laid back , when it comes to ‘taboo’ behaviour. I’ve seen so much…that that wasn’t anything really.

Me: ‘My feet hurt, are there anymore drinks…Why are you pretending to be an octopus? I’m going upstairs…’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘That’s Chrissie W’…’

Roomie: ‘Wunna…Yeah. She’s my roommate.’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘AW! FUCKSAKE DUDE!!!’

Roomie: ‘Don’t let her go upstairs! Oh! Hi, Matt!”

(That was my bestie.)

‘Chrissie, you’ve got some mail and that dude you went on a date with…that weird Bodyguard one…dropped your stuff back… Like a belt?’

Me: ‘Does it say *DIRT* on it? Is it that diamante one? He hasn’t even fixed the *Y* on it, has it…What an idiot. I hate dates… I’m just not gonna speak to him..’

And this was all when i was in my mid 20’s, and whilst my roommate was in a pretend diaper…and he was a lawyer. 🙂

HAHAHA. (Sorry, I’m just pissing myself….. My friend Matt & I did so much better for ourselves…Lol)

Upstairs was awful. Lol. Even I was shocked. I’ve told the story before and it IS embedded in this website…

But yeah…Lol…What I was actually going to say, is that now i’ve told the story…I noticed that the whole random fetish party didn’t bother me at all, yet the guy who decided to try on my clothes, whilst I was out, behind my back, BEFORE I HAD EVEN WORN THEM……

PISSED ME OFF.

So, it must be the little things that wind me up.

But anyway, thank you everyone for reading my blog! I’ve received so many inbox messages from literally all over the world, from ladies, men, girls, guys and saying that they’re loving it, hooked or have just had a first time ‘peek.’

Like ‘Trigg’ had a first time peek yesterday, because he couldn’t follow quite obvious instructions. Lol.

Trigg: ‘I didn’t know I could swipe up?’

Me: ‘What? Even though it says SWIPE UP??’

And a guy from Vienna messaged me this morning saying that he read yesterdays blog and loved it and that HE actually used to work right by me in LA, by The Grove. He has this wonderful Youtube channel about his travels, so I’m gonna check that out today.

Plus, I love that all Ladies, love a ‘school mums’ blog. Unfortunately, I went with diaper ridden fetish party today…But hey…It’s all about balance, right? 😉

I had a moment yesterday, where I stopped a second after being rushed out of a meeting and into a car, where I *paused* and got to chill for a moment….

I sent this message…

‘Missing ya.’

They replied with a..

‘Miss u to xx’

Then life scuttled us along…..

I’ve got lots going on, shoots, influencey things, I’ve got to fit in the time to commit to filming, flights to Spain, meetings, Motherhood…and my friends….

In this Chapter, my newest one…I am being a really shit friend. I went from having all the time in the world, to having no time…Or having to prioritse my time. Plus, I have ‘powers above’ who make me hinder to sacrifices. But I just have to do it. It’s work and i’m building…

But this weekend, it’s my chick friend ‘Fairytales’ birthday drinks…So I’ll be celebrating it with her at The Electric Theatre….

I actually almost forgot, because I had fittings and flights and all sorts of busy mayhem…But Mel reminded me on Monday….I love ‘People Reminders.’ And just like that…I’ll be there!

The Career’s going really well. I’m feeling really confident right now…

I’m gonna SMASH IT.

Cue: FIRE

Boys Night, Dating Tips & Auditions…

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Really busy time, so i’m gonna have to bustle through this. I have a ‘dashy’ weekend ahead, which means schedules, train times, those Wunna Land bits of ‘showbizziness’ and…as always… life to conquer. I’ll do it. I always do. And right now, I never felt more confident. I try not to waste time looking over at what other people are doing (I used to do that a lot, it’s human nature…we all get a little nervy.)

However, instead, I’m now just focusing on MY land..WUNNA LAND. If you give something 100 percent…and you’re good at what you do, there is absolutely NO WAY in the jeepers, that you will not succeed.

Luckily, my job right now, is the art of  just ‘BEING ME.’ So, if I balls that up, then there’s no help for me. Nor is there enough wine to settle my soul.

I ended up on ‘boys night’ at Ego the other night. I did ‘Girls Night’ didn’t I, last Saturday? I’m one of those chicks who has a great mix of friends, be they girls, boys, young, old….The mix is a ‘jiggle’ but it’s great.

I love boys night. Not as much as girls night, as boys night is far more reserved…My chick friends and I literally tell each other EVERYTHING…and we don’t care, we’ll pour it all out, the good with the bad, with the ugly. Boys are less ‘drama’ and they keep their secrets to themselves…M guy friends are open, yet their level of ‘openess’ is carefully monitored by their pride and sense of masculinity.

(Aside from ‘Jonesez’ he’s like a girl and will cry out his problems over a cocktail, with me.)

But yes, I met Webbo, Dipper and Jonesez for dinner and drinks. They were ‘after work’ suited and booted and then I sort of just flounced in a bit late, all a beam, smiles and with a…

‘Two for One margaritas with a salted rim please!’

I am all about a salted rim. 🙂

We chatted, we caught up, they slagged other boys off and they drilled me about ‘the girls.’

‘What were they saying about us?’

‘What did she say about ME?’

‘Who’s best in bed out of…?’

‘Do they like me? I bet they slagged me off?’

‘Yeah, but honestly…gang bangs are gross…’

‘Why does he always come in and touch me…Don’t man slap me!!’

‘I’m not arsed me, I’ve just said i’m sharing with someone else…’

‘I love it when you get your nipple out on your selfies Wunna.’

‘Shall we eat. I’m starving..’

‘It’s not my fault..You picked her!’

‘Are you honestly still obsessing?’

‘Why are the dudes on your Facebook always asking to marry you?’

‘Yeah, but our Girls night isn’t sweet and lame. We don’t plait each others hair to Boyband tunes. We’re all SASSY…it’s hardcore.’

‘Why have you stopped getting cocktails Wunna?’

‘Stop trying to get me pissed.’

The thing about ‘Boys Night’ is that there is always a boys code…and even though i’m a chick, having all guy friends in LA…I know the code…It’s kinda like ‘Girl Code,’ but you don’t have to remind them not to say anything. ( I do prefer the drama of a ‘Girls Night’…and mainly because i’m a girl. Yet, I am sizzled over with a BOYS sense of inappropriate humour….I don’t care…It’s hilarious. So yes, boys night was ace! I know some great guys!)

BOY CODE, SAVE AS!

I’m currently sat with a half a Peroni, at The Carleton trying to smash out this blog. I was on a phone audition all last night. I had one through the afternoon and then I had to shoot, followed my bambinos and reply to all my ‘socials.’

At the same time, I was going back and forth on email with my agent…and it was all pretty manic. I’m having a really busy time, but i’m loving it. I’m really enjoying and i’m enjoying it because I do what I love.

I have noticed that I don’t like ‘fuss.’ I like everything to be taken care of…with no ‘fuss.’ I don’t like the ‘faffiness’ of projects…I just like to get on with things. That’s when it comes to work and dating….

This is actually a really good tip for guys..

GIRLS DO NOT LIKE FUSS…WE WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF SHIT…

Like, if you were to ask us out on a date…We’d prefer if it you took charge, stood up all manly and just said…

‘Right, are you free… on this date….to do this…? Great! I’ll pick you up at *this time…’

(And you organised everything, so we can just get dolled up, enjoy the night and adore you. That’s how it works. So, it’s not just when are you free? It’s…’Are you free on…? Great…I’ll pick you up at..’ It’s gentlemanly.)

In the past, whenever i’ve had to organise a man, i’ve hated it. I’m a ‘Girl Boss,’ I love it when a guy takes care of the little things. It’s thoughtful. They take the stress away from you.

I actually remember being sat at the Coffee Bean, outside in the sun, in West Hollywood, by the Beverly Center. I used to go there every morning.

This guy, with shoulder length blond hair and sunglasses, who was also a model, called ‘Berlin,’ used to sit with me and chat life, each morning…I remember how schooled he was in the art of dating…But I guess the LA boys are, because they do it so much and they do it well. They can’t treat a girl badly on a date, because the ‘show of it all’ is SO important in Hollywood…plus ALL THE GIRLS TALK. You get a bad rep…no girl with touch you.

Berlin: ‘Well, I just text her and told her that i’d love to do dinner with her at ‘Koi,’ tomorrow night and that i’d pick her up at 7pm…and because it was all sorted for her…she just said. I didn’t give her time to think. Lol. Chicks like to have everything organised for them.’

Then we’d go on our auditions for the day. But he was right! Lord knows what he’s up to now?

Anyway, I really do need to go…So sorry for the quickie blog ;)..but sometimes ‘quickies’ are awesome!

Busy, busy weekend ahead!

Hope you loved today’s selfies…

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Thank you for following my diary.

Chrissie x