Nothing Like A Wonderbra…

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Ah! This is my FIRST DAY of ABSOLUTE 2018 BLISS! I’m giddy and filled with kitty excitement. The New Year has officially *kicked* it’s pretty self IN and I am *PURRING* WITH A DELICIOUS SWIRL OF READINESS. I feel GREAT TODAY. I feel Wonderful! And luckily for you…like the lurgy, it’s contagious. However, absolutely and of COURSE, it is far MORE glamourous!

I’m feeling great! Wunnaful! You know when you just get that rush…that CRAZY rush of excitement that *zooms* through your body and bursts out of your seams. That’s how i’m feeling today. There’s a *buzz* about this land that I call ‘Wunna.’

To say i’m so excited, I’ve had a simple morning really…Woke up, cuddled the babies, stroked my kitten ‘Rocco,’ nibbled on breakfast, (I’m still being rubbish at dieting) and sipped my black coffee.

The rest of the day was spent at Wonderbra, being fitted into every delicious bra, in all of the mighty land.

In my mind…You can’t start the year without a decent ‘strap in’ bra, which will act as your ‘go to’ Battle Wear, through times of trial and trouble. That’s a fact. It’s a glamour pusses rule. It’s the bra you will always pick up, when you need that bit of comfort…The bra that will ‘party’ with you, go on ‘date night’ with you and keep you cosy, when you just feel like a duvet day.

This is what 2018 is about. Planning ahead. 🙂 Life isn’t gonna get me this year. I’m ahead of the game. I’m all prepared for any sort of ‘rug pull’ or dodgy surprise, that might decide to *pop* up out of nowhere and cause me any stress…OR EVEN WORSE heartache.

I mean, I’ve always played along with life and that’s why it’s been good to me. I’ve bounced back so many times, that it’s now either terrified of me or just cut me some slack.

*Air Kisses…Winks!*

This year, I’m armed with preparation.

Before..and for many years, life would frisbee a ‘bonanza’ at me and I’d let it whack me in the face, pick it up and then i’d mould it correctly, with tears in my eyes, before throwing the Frisbee back. (The process was long.)

This year. Oh yes Dolls! I’m all over it. Life will frisbee a ‘bonanza,‘ completely miss me and whack the person behind me (with lessons still to learn) in the face..so that they can mould, or just let the plug hole swirl them in.

Bottom line…You need a good bra for all this! 🙂

(I’m literally the best blogger in all the land. I even crack MYSELF UP. Poor brands. Haha!)

I spent my entire morning to afternoon in the delicious arms of Wonderbra. Now, incase you didn’t know,  I adore Wonderbra simply because it reminds me of my childhood. My teenage years. Their campaigns were always fun and we all needed a Wonderbra to feel sexy.  It’s such a classic old school brand, with a fresh, new modern day twist. And as we know…that is my specialty.

I spent my morning there.

So, yes, I’m meant to be some Glamour Puss extraordinaire…Yet let me tell you, I had the most HILARIOUS TIME. You do not even KNOW what has to go on, to get fitted into ANY lingerie or bra.

Wonderbra is a GOOD QUALITY brand, so the bra’s themselves are made so well and fit almost perfectly like a corsets, for your boobs. You can feel the quality of that bra, when in one and it’s that quality (like anything in life) that makes you feel SEXY. It made me feel so glamourous, so dignified, so filled to the brim with feline POWER.

So, this is what will happen when I go to bra fitting. I’ll saunter in, pick around four bra’s off the rails, that I THINK are my size?  I’ll always get it wrong, but nonetheless I’ll get the bra in every colour and all styles, to see what suits me best.

In the fitting room, all the clothes fly off and like today, the most adorable and warmest Yorkshire lady, almost like a cuddly, loving Mum sauntered into my fitting area and began fitting me into these bras.

It was hilarious. She was amazing. At one point I was completely topless, still in my jeans and knee high boots, bent forward like a juicy Burmese ‘plank,’ as she tried to strap me into my Wonderbra of choice… like it was my new sassy suit of armour.

She knew exactly what she was doing, as her giant tape measure dangled around her neck and we laughed every single minute of every single moment. If anyone was to walk past my fitting…you’d definitely question what ON THIS EARTH was going on!

Fitter: ‘This is too big…It’s far too big on your back. I need to grab you a different size.’

Me: ‘Yeah, But i like the black one better! How can it be do big? I’m a 34 E.’

Fitter: ‘Here, try this one. Bend over, let me fasten you in, cos you need to FALL your chest into it…Lean forward….It’s a 32 F.’

Me: ‘Can I try it in beige also? I like the strapless classic look..’

Fitter: ‘Your back’s small, your cups big. Let me fasten you in and grab you 3 more bras to try on..’

Then as a million bra’s swung around me…

( It was the actual height of utter glamourosity. Nothing was more ‘kitten like’ or spectacular. All it needed was a confetti shower…and a butler pouring us champagne.)

Anyway, as a million bras swung around me and I delighted in the comfort of femininity. But let me tell you, during ANY Wunna Land fitting, when I find the bra or lingerie I like, I will then prance and pose in front of the mirror, for a good 10 minutes per outfit. (WHEN I LIKE THEM.) Then after that 10 minutes, I will then pull out my phone and selfie in my outfit, until I get a good photo. 🙂 I’ll even warm up and do test shots. Lol.

   

I’ll forget that anyone else is there. Then i’ll realize and apologize sincerely. (I’m well mannered. 😉 )

Me: ‘I am SO SORRY. Look at me. I’m in this mirror thinking i’m Pamela Anderson or something. Haha.’

Fitter: ‘Shush you, you’re alright. I wish I looked like you in that bra. Prance away, you look so happy!’

(Fitters are always AMAZING, because they WILL ALWAYS make you FEEL BEAUTIFUL. They’re job is to make you feel good and FIT YOU. 🙂 ) 

Then i’ll moan that my hair wasn’t right and take more selfies… do more poses…

Before finally agreeing that the world is now a safer kitten place to live in and that I’ll now FEEL GREAT in my bra/lingerie.

(Incase you didn’t know, when it comes to the art of modelling…of the glamour variety…it is how an outfit makes you FEEL, that makes a great picture, not JUST about how you look in it. Nothing is worse than ‘dead eyes.’)

Anyway, done! Dusted! Happy as can be!

One of the best brands. One of the best services. One of the best bras that I have ever at the honour of wearing. I honestly couldn’t have FELT SEXIER. I could wear my strapless Wonderbra, all day, every day and feel like a absolute QUEEN! I felt ‘regal’ yet sexy! I felt powerful and we women love a bit of power don’t we! 😉

They’re like treasure.

Buy yourself a Wonderbra.

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2018, Kittens & Baby Pink Undies

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I sailed into 2018 peacefully, armed with the mighty words, that I accumulated via The Fine God, that is P.Diddy…

‘Too blessed to be stressed.’

I had a wonderful 2017. I don’t have to go through it all, because…well, you all know what happened, I wrote a diary about it almost every day. (Well, I told you the bits that I wanted to tell you. 😉 )

It was a big year of ‘building.’ The kinda year where you have a plan, yet FOR ONCE you actually go about ‘being productive’ with it all. For example…How can I put it?  Last year, I didn’t sit and WATCH the fitness video, whilst eating a packet of crisps. I STOOD UP AND DID THE VIDEO.

Changes were made. Changes that put ‘happiness’ first and because of all that sassy sizzle of hard work…this year….in 2018, I should be rubbing two sticks together and finally making a fire.

There’s been lots of moments where in which *sparks* were lit, yet the fire didn’t burn…because I couldn’t dedicate time to it.

So with ‘timing is everything’ as my cliche. In 2018, i’m just gonna get on with it. That fire will burn.

This is my year.

(And I do mean that in both work and love. People always ask me about my love life…When it comes to love…I very much put my hand on my heart and swear by fate.)

How you all feeling? I’ve watched all your Snapchat & Insta stories and lived your New Year’s Eve with you!

So whether you woke up in a new city, or with a strange human laying next to you, or on a friend.. of a friends sofa… or at home with the kids, on your own..whatever happened? Whether you woke up hungover, sober or immersed in an accidental new chapter…KNOW… that you’re fine.

It’s Monday. It’s cool. You can use January 1st as an excuse to ‘start over.’

During the day, I had a busy New Years Eve, as I was on a train with Ruby & Junior (and my Mum) at 9.12am. I was on Platform Six, at Doncaster train station and headed into Leeds to go do lunch, a ‘Meet and Greet’ and stroke kittens at The Kitty Cafe.

Popular place. I had a WONDERFUL TIME. Really happy to have met you all. (I was late because my Taxi Driver didn’t know how to get there. I hate that, because if I was a taxi driver…I’d KNOW HOW TO DRIVE PLACES.) Fabulous wonderland. That place is spankingly bouji. It’s peaceful, yet busy and I’d say the perfect place to take your children….if they adore kittens.

Ruby & Junior LIVED FOR IT. I couldn’t get them out of the place! I had to pretend that we were buying a kitten, that would magically arrive at our home… by post? JUST TO GET THEM TO LEAVE.

I actually couldn’t believe how amazing the cafe was! You should absolutely go for the experience. However, I was there to ‘meet you’ and ‘greet you’…and that pretty much was my focus. (I love that you can order a Japanese flowering tea there. All the BOUJ!)

Just so you know! There’s actually going to be A GREAT DEAL of opportunities to ‘Meet Me’ and ‘Greet Me’ throughout this year. I’m excited to see you. I love it. It’s my favourite part of the ‘ball.’ A lot of you are asking…So yes, do not fret! The opportunity to say ‘hello’ and tinker in Wunna and will be there.

But anyway, my New Years Eve, was all about family. I had everyone around at my place and after a dance off, a few drinks, a bit of food, mixed in with the art of acting out ‘Little Mix’ videos. (Junior LOVES a shindig. He went bonkers with his dance moves and pout. His soul is every inch Wunna Land. Ruby is sassy, sophisticated, but FUN.)

Junior: ‘Mum, swing that chandelier thing about…No!  Do it really fast, so it makes the room look like a party.’

(Olly Murs ‘Dance With Me’ was on in the background, so loud that you couldn’t hear anyone speak at all. I guzzled Prosecco and forgot to think about my waistline. Oh and DO KNOW, that a Diet Guru did actually contact me and you will SEE which plan I think i’m going to go with….over the next couple weeks. Oh! And everyone keeps messaging me, asking what my New Years resolutions are? I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Lol. Do people still make New Year resolutions? I thought they had been buried with the art of giving Christmas cards?)

Bottom line, I don’t like to restrict myself, simply because my life turns insane at points and I need to be emotionally and physically ‘flexi’ enough to Rumba along with it, without ‘Stop Signs’ and ‘Tut Tut, Shakey Fingers’ telling me to ‘Watch out.’

There was definitely a point last night where I found myself with a left handful of Jelly Babies & a right handful of Bombay Mix.

Oh the glamour!

I ate out of both handfuls..gracefully. Infact, a tiny piece at a time, like I was the Queen.  Then washed it down with prosecco..ungracefully…like I was Captain Jack Sparrow…in a faux fur….Or did I do it like I was Ru Paul? I can’t decide?

Anyway, the family party is going on downstairs. I tinker upstairs to find something. Lords knows what? Maybe my dignity, some help, a cocktail bar, Elvis? Who Knows???

I saunter into my room, slip into my’ comfiest comfies’ and then accidentally fall asleep in my pj’s at around 11.30pm without telling anyone, just before the whole ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR,’ hoo haa. (I do that..When I need to rest, I just disappear…and get comfy. That’s why I always love guys who like to kick back and get comfy, in their comfies.)

Mum: ‘I walked upstairs to find you and you were tucked in bed, with the lights out fast asleep, with a giant bottle of Prosecco by your bedside…even RUBY stayed up!! Haha.’

Woke up this morning feeling,

FRESH AS A DAISY.

So FRESH, I was *breezy.*

So CLEAN, I was *squeaky.*

Tried a whole ‘dazzle’ of Ann Summers numbers on, before noon. Delightful little pieces of ‘cheeky, cheeky.’ I love Ann Summers, I think it’s GREAT. I’ve obviously worked alongside them previously, as I designed a Sex Toy range, with Jacqueline Gold (CEO of the company,) which was filmed and aired on Channel 4. I was ‘fitted’ into all sorts of pieces this morning….Some played well with my body…Some got the ‘thumbs down…Something got the ‘YES!!! THAT’S IT!’ ( I love those moments.)

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Then I had fish and chips. (Yay! Well done Diet Queen.) And because I worked SO HARD during 2017 and because (here we go) I have such an exciting 2018 of ‘work hard’ but with results for you to enjoy…I kinda wanted to just rest today. I’m already in my comfies, sat on my bed blogging, with a wine.

 So January the 1st. 2018…Wunna Land rested. Lol.

What? If my soul needs to rest, it’ll rest and if my soul needs to play…it’ll play.  🙂 🙂

Tomorrow…I’m headed in with a wink…

Welcome to 2018.

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Check out my Instagram & Facebook Stories for Wunna Land ‘Behind The Scenes’ moments.

x

 

Flowers, Fun & Let’s Show Our Gussets

It’s just the most amazing time and I say amazing simply because for me, it’s a time where in which I realized how GREAT my 2017 has actually been. I realised how wonderful my friends and family are and how much i’ve appreciated them being there through the ‘ups’ the ‘downs’ and the jiggly bits of this year. They’ve been there through the fun. They’ve been through through the laughter. They’ve been there at the parties. They’ve been there through the drama.

We’ve watched each others hearts beam. We’ve watched each others hearts break. But no matter what, through the thick and thin of it all and we as humans kinda take  the ‘thick and thin of it all’ for granted…They’ve really been there for me. We’ve been there for each other, and without ANY condition.

I mean my friends and I are a sassy bunch of fuckers. It’s all hair tosses, work, prosecco bubbled ‘feel betters’ and the absolute BEST of good times. No one does ‘good times’ better than US.  There’s been tears, tangos and those occasional that salty pinches of drama. But we say how we feel and we say it well. Some of the bunch are really open, some of the bunch prefer to keep their secrets to themselves..Some cry…Some don’t……Yet we understand each so well…that no matter what we get it. It’s hard to find people who ‘get it,’ right?

So, incase you didn’t know, I’m headed into a new chapter right now. Infact, i’ve done it. I did on Friday. I’m feeling excited, a yeah…a little under pressure. I’m feeling as though i’m about to ‘cannon ball’ into the unknown, with everything crossed. If i needed support ever, I’d probably need it now.

(PLEASE FEEL FREE TO THROW IT AT ME. And RUM, THROW RUM.)

It’s a really important time for me to ‘sass it up,’get my business head on, move forward confidentially and do it power heels. Yet, being i’m Miss Wunna, (i’m a glamour puss, i’m gentle) I’m not one to override deliciousness, when it comes to me, in the form of friendship, love and surprises…

Before I started power strutting…I stopped to smell the roses, appreciate those that I care about and let them appreciate ME!! J It’s something i’m actually not good at, believe it or. 😉 I’m a giver, not a taker and they say you’re either one or the other?

Friday was WONDERFUL. I held it all together. I got through  my work morning. (All I did was sit in a giant black faux fur, and do nothing, whilst I bantered with the girls and demanded that we drink prosecco at some point, even if it was in plastic cups and EVEN IF, ‘Lady Shizzle’ had not been able to show up because she had managed to guzzle so much red wine that she dashed for the last train home, missed her step whilst stepping onto the last train home and FELL DOWN the side of the train. Yes in the ‘mind the gap’ crack. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nothing made me wee myself MORE. I was delighted by the glamour of that story. It was BRILLIANT. I loved it.

Fairytale tried to tell me the story, with her angelically serious ‘fairytale’ face, but I just couldn’t stop uncontrollably PISSING MYSELF, that it just turned into hilarity. It’s just brilliant.)

Me: ‘Honestly. Lol. Never in my entire life, when I have been THAT pissed and had to catch a train, have I ever missed stepping ONTO the ACTUAL train and fallen down the crack. Hahahahaah. It’s IMPOSSIBLE! It’s hilarious. I love it!’

(I might have been sick on a train and pretended I didn’t do it…But I’ve always managed the ‘step onto’ quite well. Probably because I know, i’m one step closer to home. One step closer to safety. Lol)

But yes, the day was filled with laughter, girl banter, occasional sad faces and then I noticed Fairytale and Firmonnell disappear and leave me with Beth. ..who was smearing some kind of moisturiser around her face.

Beth: ‘You’ve made me ill.’

Me: ‘Yeah I know.’

Beth: ‘Do I look like a reindeer?’

Me: ‘Where’ve they gone?’

However, lunch was had, sore lips were made fresher, cheeks were bronzed and then I again wanted Prosecco. Firmonnell bought me lunch. I’m a veggie now because ‘Hustle’ forced it upon me, so I winked at a 3 Bean Salad. It didn’t wink back, but i had it anyway. 😉 Yet, I LOVED that she bought my lunch. It weirdly made me feel super special. It the simple things, I tells ya!

I decided to do some work, which consisted of scrolling through my Instagram page Lol, still in my giant black faur fur, whilst swinging on an orange swizzle chair..then all of a sudden I hear a,

‘Chrissie?’

My eyes literally dart up…. and like I’ve won the lottery, I started screeching..

‘Yeah! That’s me! THAT’S  ME!!!’

And there they were…..The perfect delivery human, with the most PERFECTLY, GRAND DISPLAY , OF THE MOST GLAMOUROUSLY GIANT, PINK BOUQUET OF FLOWERS!

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It was like a dream! I squeaked!!!

There’s always this ‘little girl’ in me, that is delighted by goodness, treats and surprises.

Flowers came, selfies happened…

Me: ‘I’m not in the right lighting!!!’

Then as the day went on, after a mosey outside, a couple hours later….I strutted back in with a..

‘I’m off upstairs. I need a wee…’

But I looked at ‘Fairytales’ face, she had some ‘Cheshire cat’ grin on…’Dipper’ was sat next to her, looking like nothing was happening…and then I looked at ‘Firmonnell’ for confirmation…who kinda looked expressionless. I actually thought that nothing had gone during my absence…I took two steps forward and…

I SQUEAKED!!!

A corner that should be dedicated to work had been filled with love….There was pink champagne, my favourite cocktails in a can, cards galore, my flowers….a glass that read ‘You Gorgeous Thing You’ and the BEST PART was one of those LIGHT UP BOARDS…Y’know…the ones that you can buy that read like a cinema headline…and it simply read…

‘GOOD LUCK WNNA.’

Firmonnell had to spell ‘WUNNA’ without the ‘U’…. because there was only one ‘U’ in the packet. HAHAHAHA

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IT WAS MY FAVOURITE.

I was just over the moon. It was SO thoughtful. It made me feel WONDERFUL!! It made me feel really cared for.

I just jollied about merrily, squeaking, whilst bursting out little ‘happy dance’ routines. I radiated happiness. Nothing else in the world mattered during that moment. I was on Cloud 9.

It was then when I realised how lucky I was. I’m really lucky.

The moment was followed by heartfelt Whatsapp messages from other close friends and all the love and support that a ‘little girl’ like me could ever wished for.

Me: ‘If this is what happens during new chapters…I just want to do them EVERY DAY!’

We drank, we laughed, we bantered and as people trickled away they hugged me ‘good luck.’

Then…like the day hadn’t been magnificent enough…I checked my email inbox and someone who has throughout the year, tinkered in Wunna Land, with his bad ‘Grandad’ jokes, yet with smiles that would suggest he was the happiest human on Earth, sent me a gift…

And that gift was ‘wisdom’…via the fine art of poetry.

I love a good poem and I adore any form of motivation….

So he did just that….I’ll quote you a bit…

‘Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close YOU are,

It may be near when it seems Afar,

So stick to the fight when you’re Hardest Hit,

It’s when things seem worse that YOU MUST NOT QUIT..’

 

It was followed by a phone call..

‘Is Chrissie there…Put her on…’

He was on the other end of the line and even though he’s cheeky and will whip you a truck load of really bad jokes….there are moment where in which I couldn’t feel more inspired. You feel inspired when you need to feel inspired right? Plus, I always respect those who have been on this merry Earth a tad bit longer than I….Well he’s sixty soon…so a TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD bit longer longer. Lol

But the last thing he said to me was..

‘I want you to go out there and KILL IT CHRISSIE. Go out there, take what’s yours, grab it around the neck and wring it.  I believe you can do it and you know you can do it. It’s yours for the taking….KILL IT…because you CAN.’

Then the glamour puss officially left the building, after ‘thank you’ phone calls and casually turned out lights.

‘Have you locked the back door?’

I’d pretty much checked in and checked out with everyone….Well…aside from Mel…I never really got time to ‘shimmie’ a ‘good luck’ with her… However, luckily, I looked down at my phone and with a…

Mel: ‘What time are you done? Do you wanna do drinks at The Carleton…’

Me: ‘Yeah, definitely. I’m en route now…’

Mel : ‘I’ll be there 5.45pm.’

I met her at the bar and we drank wine, in the corner of a cosy, yet busy pub..It was filled with bustle and what looked like ‘Christmas Parties.’ Ladies were giddy with excitement for a night on the razzle and the guys had sauntered in for quiet drinks at the bar. It felt really good, as everyone looked as though they were having the most wonderful time. Be the young. Be the old. They were happy.

We chatted the whole entire night. We talked over the present, we talked about the future, we recreated the past….I compared a relationship to a game of ‘pass the parcel..’

Me: ‘I dunno? Right now, it kinda looks like a game of pass the parcel… a boring one, where no one opens a prize and there’s absolutely no music….Like you’re just passing the parcel… to keep it going…for the sake of…’

More large wines were drank, she encountered new fun with old friends, I met new faces and we laughed about our lives, we chatted about our love lives and we talked ‘danger’ and how much we decided we liked it?

So much vino was delightfully sipped, that we ended up having to LEAVE OUR CARS and get a lift home.

In that moment, ‘good times’ with a great friend mattered MORE THAN curfews and being angels.

It ended up being one of those REALLY GREAT NIGHTS.  A night i’ll always remember. It sailed me into a morning of New Chapter’ slighty hungover…yet filled with support.

Saturday morning, I spent shopping and then lunching with Baby Ruby, who now thinks she’s a superstar.

Rubes: ‘I don’t want to get my hair washed in the bath anymore. I just want to go to the hairdressers all the time because she pampers me and massages my shoulders, when i’m stressed.’

Me: ‘Your hair looks cute…’

Rubes: ‘DON’T TOUCH IT MUM!!!! IT’S IN A STYLE!!’

Snapchat Message from Pete (Her Daddy) : ‘Awww, her hair really suits her like that!!!’

Reply: ‘Good Luck…She now only wants it done at the hairdressers and says she’s never taking her plaits out EVER.’

Pete adores Ruby with all of his soul. We both do. Yet, he loves a ‘Diva.’ I AM a ‘diva’ so with Ruby, it’s kinda like having my OWN personality, ‘personality’ back at me….It’s wonderful and creepy all at the same time.

Then I  taught her ‘shoulder rolls’ (in public) which to me is the ONLY dance move you need to know, when it comes to the art of ‘being swag.’ It’s so versatile! Lol We literally stopped in the middle of a  shopping centre, dropped our bags and stood facing each other doing ‘shoulder rolls’ until she got it. J

Mum: ‘It’s moments when I watch to both do things like that, that I couldn’t love you both anymore. It almost had nothing to do with shoulder rolling and everything to do with your bond…your friendship and your absolute giddy love for one another..’

Tomorrow morning, I’ve got my London/Ronnie blog out and then my pretty little darlings, we begin my BIRTHDAY WEEK!

I’ve purchased, i’ve packed and i’m ready.

Tomorrow morning, I head to the depths of the Sherwood Pines Forest , to check into my luxury log cabin for the week, with the babies and the family! I couldn’t be MORE EXCITED. It isn’t actually my birthday until Tuesday, which is the 19th, so yeah it’s all about peace and tranquillity…But let’s face it, I’m a  good time gal, i’m having a birthday and i’m someone that refuses to play the ‘it’s just other day’ card.

To me, it’s the best day ever!!  So we’re gonna be having a fun and boozy, good old birthday time! You hate being a ‘Christmas Baby’ all year, until it’s Christmas…and your birthday! J

I hope you’re ALL HAVING THE MOST MARVELOUS FESTIVE SEASON. Please have fun. Even if you’re glum, please try and have fun. Don’t let life trickle through your hands. Take control of your time and make it yours. Celebrate it!

I mean, I received a card on Friday that read,

‘Then we must frolic, dance and maybe flash our gussets…’

And that’s all I want you to remember… Don’t be dull!

I’m in a new chapter…Let’s dance..

I’m in the forest tomorrow…TWO DAY BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN.

 

Chrissie x

But Baby it’s Cold Outside…

;

It’s cold kittens, isn’t it? It’s ‘nippy…nippy…dooo…daaa’ and I am FREEZING. If I hate anything, I hate being cold. I’m all about the heaters being blasted on ‘FULL’ and a warm bowl of comfort food.  I can’t even DEAL with the chills of jiggery pokery, tinkering up my kitty spine. I’m far too EXOTIC to function under such circumstances.

Rubbish Friend: ‘You were born in DONCASTER, Wunna!!’

But whatever, that’s beside the point :)…. like anything ‘Ninja,’ I’m sure  IT’S IN MY BLOOD. I’m 100 percent Burmese. I spent 10 years growing up in LA! It’s all ‘warm, warm, give me some.’ It was the coldest day in all of the land, in Yorkshire today and I braced it in a Little Mistress faux fur. (I’ve over worn that Faux Fur, but it’s such a goody, that I just have to keep the roll going.)

I can’t even MOVE, when i’m cold, let alone BE USEFUL. A number of people attempted to force me useful today.  If you want me to be useful…don’t make me cold. Simples! (Radiators R’US. Live for HEAT. Let’s hang with the Fire Brigade, to make us feel warm. 😉 )

As you can imagine, I froze and pulled faces all day and….it rocked. I didn’t even do it for attention. Lol. I might have completed the COLDEST WALK IN ALL THE WORLD, with a chick named Beth.

‘Why is it so ******* COLD! I might die!!’

YET, f i’m being honest, even though the temperatures are dodgy, I kinda LOVE WINTER.

It’s more magical than Summer, isn’t it? Summer’s a fun season, but it’s a SELFISH season. In Summer, we’re all about ourselves. It’s flings and flamingos.

Winter is my favourite because, we commit to knitted jumpers, crackling fires, Gucci scarves, one more mulled wine, * pom pommed* gloves and surrender to kindness, merriment and reflection.

We cant help it.

It’s cuddles, it’s family traditions, it’s ‘Santa magic’ and glass *clinks* with your dearest friends. I love Winter. It’s my favourite. It may be cold, but whocares…I have a BIRTHDAY In 19 DAYS! I love Winter. 🙂 (All gifts appreciated. Just *volley* arm them into Wunna Land.)

So, I haven’t been able to blog over the last couple of days because I haven’t found the time. Time hasn’t found me. I’ve been working all days, most days and then being Mum, with a jolly side of sorting out the good old career. 🙂 I’m gonna shock ya.

I hope to have a really GREAT next year and if i’m gonna do that…I’m gonna have to put in the work. I have juggled and jiggled and worked my ‘pattooyi* off THIS year…and more than you would think.

NEXT YEAR, I finally get to fully celebrate life. Even though i get moments of second guessing myself, I’m feeling quite ‘swag’ about it all. It’s human nature to have doubts at times. People do make you feel bad for having doubts at times….But don’t. It’s normal. It isn’t that deep. All that matters is that you make the nerves temporary, and stiletto kick them out your way. I’m good at that. I’m really good at that. I’m really good at helping OTHERS do that!

Right now, i’m feeling pretty ‘gangsta,’ with a sophisticated, ‘Dior’ dripped strut. (Definitely did TI’s ‘You don’t know me’ video in my bedroom mirror, with a Desperado in my hand, this evening…and i don’t even CARE.)

Let’s have some fun now! It’s Christmas.

Over the last few days, i’ve been with the girls. Mel’s had a bird poo on HER ACTUAL FACE….Oh the glamour!

Me: ‘What? It’s lucky.’

Mel: ‘It pooed on my actual FACE!!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ bought burgundy jumpsuits, ‘Hustle Barbie’ received surprise and somewhat romantic Vegan packages at work, ‘Double B’ froze and referred to old peoples privates as ‘crusty bacon’ and ‘Firmmonell’ did my favourite place with ‘Big D’ via Snapchat!

‘We’re in your favourite place!!!’

Everyone else is ill. 🙂

Yipppppppppppeeee! Don’t come near me with your lergy!!

I’m going through a massive change in my life and I’m really excited. It’s weird because it proves that even when you’re old, greta things can still happen. Don’t give up hope. Age means nothing. It’s not about how many YEARS you’ve strutted, and more about HOW YOU STRUT….Make impact…it’s sexier.

At thirty six, i’m feeling really together,  but a whole lot of fun. It’s snowing outside, I have a contract beside me and I’m looking forward to Christmas.

If you didn’t know, for my birthday week I am away at the luxury Forest Cabin, with Forest Holidays. I always go there, because it’s a place of HUGE sentimental value to me. It’s one of the only places that I find peace and before a big next year, I’m gonna need that. I’ve had a great 2017. But 2018 will be much easier. I’m ready now.

I’m lucky.

This weekend I have WARM fun with Ruby and Junior planned, ‘Hustle Barbie’s birthday dinner in Leeds at Bar Soba and on Monday one of my BEST LA FRIENDS, Ronnie Woo is coming to London to lunch with me….

He’s a marvellous celebrity chef in LA and i’ll be telling you all about him soon. I can’t WAIT for Monday. I love Ronnie. He’s like a little brother to me. I’ve known him since he was 19 and at the time, we were both working a  part time job at a gym, scanning people like ‘before they were famous’ Nicole Scherzinger and Perez Hilton in for a work out. That time was such a great time in my life. Young Hollywood rocked.

But I waited a long time…and it was only now that SO MUCH is happening to me! So much, that I don’t even know where to start???

There’s lots I CAN tell you. Lots that  I CAN’T . And so much that I NEED to tell you…. BUT, right now, all  I WILL say is, that on the work front, things are really great in Wunna Land. I’ve got lucky.  It’s about to heat up…and you’ll be invited on my journey with me. ( I don’t know how this little diary got so big? Yet, I’m grateful. I don’t take anything for granted. I’m not like that. I really do thank you for reading it…even when it’s rubbish.)

I guess, I feel like i need to say that, as everyone always thinks that i’m really ‘pr’ driven and i’m not. I couldn’t be more different to that. It’s almost humourous. I mean, I’m not an idiot. I know when to ‘turn it on.’ I’m an entertainer. It’s what i do. I love to entertain. But i’m not one of these ‘robots,’ who doesn’t have a soul. I’m not a slave to it all. My soul is filled with Prosecco bubbles and brims over with winks, love and a natural ‘joie de vivre.’

At thirty six, I’m pretty much stuck in my ‘no nonsense’ ways. I’m not easily swayed. I stick to my guns and go with what I believe is morally right. I don’t play. I’m grown. And you’d know that if you met me. I’m the salt of the Earth.

And YEAH…I’m a bit glammy, sprinkled in boujiness and dashed in ‘swag.’ And YEAH, there’s a weird elegant dignity about me, with a cheeky upfront charm…. I enjoy the finer things in life and the world in general…

Yeah…i’ll agree that i’m  sassy….But unlike most, i’ll sit with you in a bar, treat you like you’re human and share a drink with you over banter.  I won’t even have to know you. I’ll love you, before I judge you….and that’s what makes me real. If i like you, i’ll smile. If I don’t.. you’ll feel it.

I’m someone who will say ‘sorry’ and not because I always think i’m wrong and that YOU’RE always right, but because I’m someone who will value my relationship with you, MORE than my ego.

*Slurps Desperado.*

People never know that about me.

I need to go…

I HAVE LOTS TO TELL YOU…

RIGHT NOW, I just can’t get it out….

Gino’s, High Fashion Mags & Loading Bays

Gino’s was great on Friday. It was the perfect treat to celebrate my soul, after a trip to Candy Mechanics. As soon as I pushed through that magical glass entrance and into the stylish, baby blue, sanctuary of Italian life, light and love…I was immediately greeted with warmth, a gust of ‘part of the family’ and a distinct zap of (what I call) ‘boujiness.

‘Hi Chrissie! How ARE you! Great to see you again!’

(Almost like i’d never left.)

The beautiful hostess beamed with ‘Wunna’ delight and stylish Italian manager came over, for hugs and ‘welcome back’ kisses. I always feel at home, whenever I walk through those doors. There’s no place like it for me. It’s cosy and immaculate, yet filled with a fun, sophisticated, Italian vibe. Whenever I go, I’m treated so well, that all that’s left to do is to enjoy a freshly frosted glass of prosecco. It’s m perfect. ‘relax after a busy work day’ haunt.

Me: ‘I’m just gonna grab a drink, if that’s okay? I’m on my own.’

Hostest: ‘Do you need me to take your coat?’

Me: ‘No, no, i’m fine thank you. I’ll just head down to the Prosecco bar.’

She smiled like I knew my way…(and I know my way to any Prosecco bar…blind) and as I sauntered down the stairway, I cheekily glimpsed around the restaurant.

It was all a bustle, almost every table filled with good times, families and friends. Infact, it was really quite busy for 2pm on a Friday! I couldn’t see an empty table. Even when I got down to the Prosecco bar for a quiet drink (the prosecco bar was peaceful, I was the only one sat at the bar) the downstairs restaurant was also full. It was filled with a party of handsome, excited, stylish young men. Guys! The boys! They looked like they were celebrating something? But who knows? They had fun! They ordered THE BEST of everything in the entire place! Their bill actually came to a shocking amount and the great thing about them, was that they didn’t care one bit because they had spent it on ‘good times’ and memories.

I looked over at the lady behind the bar, who had already asked me what I’d like..and with a wink and a smile…my frosted glass of prosecco was right there in front of me.

*Looks down at phone.*

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where you at? I’m in Leeds.’

Me: ‘Ginos. You coming? I’ve only got 7 percent battery life…My phone’s gonna die.’

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Yeah. Cool. Stay there. Be there in 20 mins. No. 30 mins.’

Incase you’ve forgotten, Abeiku Arthur is one of my good, good friends. He owns the high fashion magazines, ‘House of Solo’ and ‘Pentagon.’ I love our impromptu catch ups, as we always end up talking business, work and banter. We have these personas of swag, style and grace….(well my ‘grace’ is dipped in moderate SASS,) yet if you were to actually sit in, on one of our conversations, you’d probably DIE of actual ‘holy shitness.’ Nothing is more OPEN than our conversations. He brings the ‘gangsta’ our in me.

Anyway, i’m sat at the bar, sipping prosecco by myself, happily taking selfies and snapchatting life at Gino’s. I’m running out of charge because of this Tom Foolery, and if i HATE anything, I truly dislike running out of charge. (If you know me personally, you will know that I ALWAYS carry a charger.)

Luckily, whilst I was sat at the bar, I noticed a guy sat at the end of the bar, on a laptop, that had a wire that mysteriously disappeared under the bar.

I followed the magical wire with my eyes…and BOOM, I ungracefully plonked my head rapidly under the bar and OH MY LORD, HAVE ALL THE MERCY, to my absolute DELIGHT, under the bar, was charger point HEAVEN. Hundreds of sockets. Life! Light! My heart may have skipped a beat. I plugged in and charged up…Yet weirdly I did it sneakily, because you do don’t you for some reason, when you’re charging your phone in public places? There’s a sense of ‘am I meant to be doing this’ about the whole situation. But you do it anyway?

Abeiku Arthur shows up, with some vintage camera that he’s bought from some vintage store, and takes photos of me to adjust his flipping focus.

We talk work. We talk life. We talk banter. We have some many stories that would shock your soul, it’s almost hilarious. We’re both hustlers. We’re both determined. We both have businesses that have accidentally done well. I love ‘House of Solo’ because I know how hard he works and how bad he wants success. Were both hustlers by nature. I do it glamorously. He does it dipped in a swaggalicious dash of ‘high fashion.’ He loves ‘Wunna Land’ and chrissiewunna.com because, who flipping doesn’t? 😉 But really, to him, i’m amazing because i’m honest. I’m real. We always have these bets on with each other and there has NEVER been ANYTHING SO FAR that I have SAID i’m going to do, that I haven’t done YET! Well..apart from ONE THING.

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where’s my money! You ain’t done that at all!’

Me: ‘Fuck off. It isn’t Christmas yet. I said CHRISTMAS! Anyway, I have a tab open, order a drink if you want.’

‘Nah, it’s cool. I’ll get mine.’

‘You do know, i’m getting a cocktail after this…’

‘You’re not, i’ve parked in a loading bay, so we’re on a timer. You have to come with me to see this chick, who’s got  some camera lights that I need to look at…Oh! I have PR now.’

‘Really who…?’

We finish our drinks, we chat about our next career stop offs. We snapchat and get annoyed at the fact that the double ‘bunny ears’ filter, only commits to one. ME! 🙂  It plays with you doesn’t it?

One face ALWAYS has the ‘bunny ears’ and the other face has to tilt and meander in order to get a ‘look in.’ But it lies to you and tells you that you can BOTH ENJOY ‘bunny ears’ at the exact same time with EASE. There’s no ease about it. You end up in the most awkward head alignment, for absolutely no other reason, than showing people that you’re in a place, with someone or no one, with ‘bunny ears’ on your head…and even worse, we only use a filter because it makes us look better!

Abeiku Arthur: ‘MAN! Where are my bunny ears!!!!’

Me: ‘Ugh! Are we really gonna do Autumn Leaves now…!!’

(He’s doing really well right now. I mean, from Interviews with ‘The Script’ and the guy who sings the ‘She my Bestie, Bestie, she may Bestie’ song 🙂 , dashed with Gucci, Prada, Vogue writers, and Fashion week galore. He could’ve done a lot worse or himself. Lol.)

Abeiku Arthur: ‘And you’re the girl that’s managed to turn the story of her life into big bucks.’

Me: ‘As if you’ve parked in a loading bay.’

Life was great! All was great! I felt really positive all weekend. It was bliss.

The rest of my time was filled with family and baby love. I took the kids out. We had the best time of merriment. We bought toys, played out. We just swirled in Wunna land love. Our brunch of choice was at Patisserie Valerie in Doncaster and simply because Junior need banana pancakes and Ruby needed poached eggs. (It is the only place that does both.)

We met up with my Mum and had the best family weekend ever. Family’s really important to me. Growing up we were always close and throughout my 20’s due to work, I lived away in LA for years and years and years…but we were still REALLY REALLY CLOSE. We tell each other everything. Were a really open family. It’s filled to the brim with loyalty and love. Almost anything goes….and I just feel really lucky to have them.

I mean even this morning, I had to have a business meeting with my mum before I set off to work and she just looked at me, beamed and said,

‘ I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t believe in you. I believe in you more than anyone…’

(And she’s not soft like that is my Mum. She’s real. She’s ‘tough love’…But she has a kitten soul. She’s a ‘tell it how it is,’ kinda gal. J I love her more than life.)

She teaches me how to be a GREAT Mum and that I am. I mean look at this…Over the weekend…Ruby finds graffiti on the wall that reads the letters ‘BT’

Ruby:  ‘Mum? What’s that??’

Me: ‘It’s just graffiti babe..’

Ruby: ‘It’s like Ted Baker, but backwards.’

YES! MY CHILD ROCKS! BOOYAH! ALL THE TROPHIES!

We ended up doing a quick dinner at ‘Ego’ and then just enjoying Bonfire night, as the skies were littered with bitty burst of colour and excitement. I love everything about driving through the streets on bonfire night. The skies celebrate your existence and the airs smells of a warm, burnt whisper. It soothes any fire sign with comfort.

Saturday night I slept like a baby…

Then Keiran text me, at the crack of dawn, to see if I could drop Junior off at 8.30 am on Sunday morning….

One day, when i’ve chimed my ultimate success bell…I’ll be able to enjoy those blissful ‘good times’ and those glorious moments of ‘lay in’ without being suddenly woken up by ‘life alarms.’ I mean, I hate nothing worse than ‘alarms.’ Be it metaphorical or literal. I can’t stand waking up every single morning to the *bleep bleep* of my phone. It’s bad for my soul and sort of ‘off starts’ my day, because it forces me to get  up against my will. Surely my body should wake whenever  it wants to?

The only alarm I ever adored, was when I slept over at Samuel’s apartment in London, (I was on the Paris Hilton Show with him, back in the day.) He’s gay and his ‘Wake up’ alarm song was the ‘Part of That World’ by ‘The Little Mermaid.’ J

Now, i’m a Sasserilla and i’m not remotely ‘Disney’ by any means, but let me tell you, TO THIS DAY, (and do note that I have  been woken up by MANY an alarm, all over the WORLD… in a zillion hotel suites, a bundle of odd people’s bedrooms, my own personal delicious bed sheets and homes across the mighty globe..) DO NOTE, THAT TO THIS DAY, that SONG has been THE BEST ALARM WAKE UP CALL, I have ever had the pleasure to rise to! You really should try it! It’s bliss!

2009 Throwback Convo: (After we had returned from an evening out with Paris at Jalouse.)

Me: ‘You actually have Ariel has your wake up alarm.’

Sam: ‘Yeah obvs! What do you have?’

Me: ‘Usually just some guy telling me he’s not looking for a serious relationship. Lol’

 

 

 

 

 

Thank Jeepers Halloween is OVER

 

Did Halloween do you over too? Thank THE Gods it’s over. Honestly, I worked the whole entire day, came home, got my over excited loin fruit ready, to tinker through the streets, for candy… with their Daddies. J I slowly tottered upstairs, still with my handbag over my shoulder (it had been a long day) and with my tinty  little kitten legs a dragging..and then the MADNESS BEGAN.

HOLY SHIT! There wasn’t even time to just chill and kick it. I went to cuddle Rocco, (The Wunna Land kitten) and BOOM, out of nowhere,

*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*

UGH! I wasn’t even too frustrated by this point. I was still okay. I mean, yeah it was a ball ache, as I DO LOVE my ‘moment’ of chill, after a hard days work. It keeps my soul perky. So I pick up Rocco the kitten, totter back downstairs, as quick as I can (because you do don’t you, when you know strangers are waiting outside your door,) with one arm grab a giant box of chocolate shite that I had bought at the last minute, in case I did get any kids at my door and with the other hand, still with my kitten Rocco in my arms, I swung open the door to ‘trick or treaters.’

Teen girls. Beautiful. Delightful. Gorgeous. Glamour Pusses. Literally the world’s POSHEST ‘trick or treaters’ too, as they talked like the Queen (As in Elizabeth, not Ru Paul) and stood on the other side of my doorstep beaming with a giddy excitement, whilst continuingly telling me that I was ‘beautiful’ for candy. (As you can imagine, I liked these girls.) I’m surprised they didn’t ask for Prosecco, a Handsome Prince and Prada. They were utterly polite, around 17 (lol) and decided to stand on my doorstop, dressed as witches with candy bags now filled with Wunna Land, stroking my cat and talking to me for a million years about life…and how they know me from somewhere.

After about fifteen minutes (yes, that long), they left. I think they wanted to stay? (By this point, my Dad had ventured into my home through the bac door, kicked off his shoes and laid on my sofa for chills)

Door swung shut. I was kinda all chipper because the Posh Teen Glamour Pusses, had filled my ego with compliments. Put the choices down, place Rocco back on the floor, begin to pour myself a gin and tonic and just as I step away up the stairs…

*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.*

For FUCKS SAKE.

I’m laughing my now, because my dad is weeing himself at my distress. It’s only the second gang around. I go through the motions again, this time with the kitten in my arms, a tub of chocolates in one of my hands and a gin and tonic in the other. The door to Wunna Land swings open and this time it’s BOYS. Young boys. They’re about 12 or 13. There’s five of them, dressed as skeletons and AGAIN, they were weirdly ALL POSH, like they went to Eton and not Kings in Ponte. J

I’m handing out candy, giving them the Wunna Land ‘hostest with the mostest’ spiel. They’re telling me i’m great. They’re stroking my cat. 😉 (Hahaha. Just realised what i’ve said. ) And then one of them in their little posh accent turns around and says,

‘I used to have a kitten, but it died.’

Awesome banter. I think they got the picture that it was time to Hallo…LEAVE.

AGAIN THEY STAYED FOR AROUND 17 MINUTES.

AT THIS POINT, I HAD A FLIPPING LINE UP AT THE DOOR, WAITING TO GET CANDY FROM WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know if it was the kitten, the candy or the fact that I had glamourised it all with a cocktail in my hand? But it was INSANE. I should’ve got an appearance fee for it. It was like my own flipping doorstep chat show! (My Dad was PISSING MYSELF. Didn’t move a little Burmese muscle. Just found it hilarious that i was so stressed out. Lol.)

It took ages. It was mental. There was candy and banter and selfies flying through the spooky airs. I was over it and my gin and tonic ran out. It was hideous. But the ‘show must go on’ so committed to the pleasantries and then once the last bunch had waved themselves off, I slammed the door shut, poured another gin and whilst turning a couple lights off, dashed upstairs to HIDE, like the bailiffs were coming or something.

I stripped off naked. Got into comfies and just laid ontop of my bed sheets, like i needed therapy.

Then I did what any normal chick would do and WHATSAPP all my chick friends. Luckily, they had been going through ‘Trick or Treat’ drama also. Across the towns my glamour puss girls, swung their Ackworth, Leeds and Eggborough…doors open to strangers dressed as weirdo’s ALL NIGHT.

Fairytale Bond: ‘This is INSANE. I’ve had hundreds of kids around and i’ve run out of sweets!’

Double B: ‘It’s a fucking nightmare. Are carollers still a thing because I CAN’T COPE.’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Y’know, if you type brassiere into the search bar of your photos, it’s brings up pictures of your boobs.’

(It doesn’t. It only does it on Hustle Barbie’s phone because she’s a floozy. I tried it and due to my virginal status, it came up blank. 😉 )

Me: ‘I’ve been opening my door, with a kitten in my hand and a gin and tonic.’

Double B: ‘I might drive away, park up and turn my lights off. Why are they all screaming!! Take your sweets and shut up.’

Fairytale: ‘Isn’t it passed their bedtimes now?’

Me: ‘Answer the door, naked, with Eva in your arms… and a Corona.’

Hustle Barbie: ‘I live near Hunslet, so most of mine are probably just trying to steal my car.’

(Then Double B posted an inappropriate HILARIOUS photo to the group chat, that I cannot even mention. J  Oh and EVA isn’t a human being, she’s a dog. Just so you get a distorted image in your mind. That wasn’t the picture. The picture was…Lol)

What a nightmare! Halloween is not made for Glamour Pusses who have worked all day. It was exhausting. But the positive of the situation is that today it’s WEDSNESDAY. It’s all over for another year….I don’t know why I hate Halloween so much, as i’m quite one for celebrations of any kind. I mean, I’m looking forward to bonfire night, and Christmas. And i have a birthday wedged in-between all that. Well, it’s a week before Christmas.

So yes, as always, there is a bright side.

In the New Year it all changes….

The thing about changes is that no matter what, you will be amazed at how quickly life moves with you, once you’ve made the mighty decision to ‘new chapter’ it.

Don’t be scared. Write your story……. I wrote mine and it changed my entire world.

 

 

 

A Little Bit Of Inspiration…

I don’t want you to forget how important you are. How important life is. Your life. Your version of it. We’re all different. We’ve made alternate choices. Some of us believe we’ve been dealt a decent hand. Some of us believe that we’ve been boomeranged a raw deal. Some of us are young. Some of us are old. Some of us are great at work and shabby at love. Others champion romance yet can never seem make their financial dreams come true. Most of us are balanced.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, what you stand for or where you are in the world..Y’know… what stage you’re parked at in life..because we’ve all cried through parts, laughed through moments, told the truth, told a pack of lies, felt brave, been filled with fear, we’ve all loved, we’ve all lost, we’ve all won at some point…Yet, if you’re sat reading this right now, know that so far, you’ve done an alright job, simply because that heart is still beating and you’re still ticking along nicely and you can change the tempo of your world to make all of your dreams come true, at any point. You’re in charge of that. No one is BUT YOU.

And ALL of the above pretty much makes us the same. It’s what we all have in common. So like I always say, billions of people are doing life, this is JUST my version of it..and more than anything, as thousands of you scroll and ‘click’ onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM today, tonight, wherever you are in the world….I hope that one of you, at some point, whether you’ve met me or read a blog, be it from now, or from 10 merry years ago, I hope that one of you, somewhere around the world….has felt inspired.

Everyone always asks me what I reckon a ‘life soldier’ is all about and from what I know and what I’ve learnt, its always the people who aren’t scared to be bold enough to push forward who become the greatest version of themselves. When you fall down, you pick yourself up. You’ll fall down again. You pick yourself up. Don’t give up on anything that you care about. It’s not worth it in the long run. Don’t give up on what you believe is right. Don’t give up on YOU. Have faith in life but have faith in yourself. Roll with the punches. Keep ya head above water.

I’ve lived an extremely colourful past. We know this. I know this. I’ve lived it. I’ve danced through chapters and chapters of all different paths, all different worlds and around all different people. Some of it it is really clear. Some of it is just a blur. I’ve always had this uncanny way of making the shitty times look glamourous and the WONDERFUL times look simple and played down. But I’ve never told anyone HOW to live. I’ve only ever told my story. I didn’t get that from a text book or a University degree. I got that from actually living life and experiencing it to the core, experiencing people and situations. I don’t know how anyone can read a text book version of life, get a stamped piece of paper and then be some champion at inspiring others, by making you follow their rules. It makes no sense. It’s robotic and bizarre. Life is about emotion. How people feel…and that changes by the minute.

I will tell you that i’m going through a wonderful time right now. At the end of last year. It was actually around this time last year, in October. I secretly changed and decided to make myself a priority. I decided to try harder and hit pause of the things that weren’t right. I felt like I had been selling myself short…I stopped, redirected and it was in November of last year where I became focused on what I wanted and began to go for it.

It worked.

This year, things kept changing for the better. I was still scared about my changes. But I did them anyway. You have to, or you just don’t get anywhere. Well you don’t get where you want to be. I’ve been juggling everything and yeah there are time where I haven’t given everything my all. Yet there are times when I HAVE. I noticed that when I did…amazing things and I mean amazing ‘dream come true’ things kept happening as a result. This is in work and love.

Things changed. I bloomed. I became really confident in myself. I trusted myself. Had faith in my talent. My world. Love. My own version of life. I didn’t expect anything, I just hoped for the best…..and knew that I’d worked really hard…well taken the necessary baby steps without fear. This year I grew. And no one can take that away from me.

Everything is still changing and everything is still wonderful. I’m not there yet. I’m still stepping. I don’t have my perfect career. yet I’m nearly there. I’m not married and settled with the white picket fenced but something tells me that that will all be alright. Right now, I feel at my STRONGEST…and as ‘changes’ are happening…and i’ve always let changes jiggle with me, even without my consent. It’s not my favourite. When changes come as a surprise, it shocks your merry system and you fumble it a little, until you’re totally comfy.

This time for the first time EVER….I’m ready….

WATCH. THIS. SPACE.

I ain’t dropping any ball this time. 😉

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!