Learning Life as I go along & a Cactus

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Aww! Today I was gonna *boast* about how happy I am! How free I’m feeling! How *dipped* in independency and swirled in ‘doing my own, diddly do,’ I am. How lucky that little old ‘life dice’ has been rolled, for me. How great my ‘Talking Heads’ 😉 ¾ hairpiece is making me look, to say I didn’t have time to wash my hair, this morning.

Then *chugga,chugga,chugga* the left back wheel of my car decides to not turn and *yippadeedoo,* I’m all broken down again.

Hurrah! *Can Can* kicks all around. And ‘balls’ to it. Let’s throw in a jazzy conga line.

Away from that, exciting things are happening. Breaking down was actually fine. It forced me to have to take a wee little stroll, distant from work, whilst delivering an opportunity to actually ‘smell the roses.’ I forget to. I OFTEN do. And I’ve noticed that at times, I’ll sort of live in the past. I’ll look back and have a cosy ‘dwellathon,’ instead of marching forward. (I have the word ‘MARCH’ tattooed on my inner right arm & yes it is the last name of a boy I met in LA, who I never actually dated J..However, now, whenever I look at it, it reminds me to stride forward.) You shouldn’t look back, you might trip over feelings. You can do that when you’re 80, because by that time, ‘looking back’ and memories, will be all you have.

OR YOU COULD BE ORDERING 102 CATS LIKE MOI, SO YOU CAN SIT AND CRY IN A LONELY BEDSIT.

I’ve also notice that when you CRAVE an outcome, a result, that you can’t actually control and you do it without patience. It can be in work, in love…or anything? (Do know that I am not naturally a patient person. I’m certainly someone who wants, what I want…and kinda wants it NOW. Lol I don’t like things that are too hard to get and I’ve only LEARNT to be patient of recent, because I’m a child. J ) When you find yourself doing that…You’re living in the future and although i’m a stickler for dreaming and turning dreams into a reality. Y’know ‘grafting the grind’ to get to where you want to be…It’s just not a healthy shimmie of ‘ooh laa,’ is it? It sprinkles a shower of stress, on your merry kitten soul, which absorbs through your system before..

 EATING YOU ALIVE!!

CALL THE DOCTOR!

So, I guess…. RIGHT NOW, THIS MINUTE, THIS MOMENT.. is ALL that matters. It’s the people who can appreciate where they currently are, with an utter comfortable happiness, that stay balanced, emotionally well and therefore get the opportunity wiggle their hand, over that juicy little ‘success button.’

It’s hard, innit? But it’s true. And the clichéd.. ‘You could walk out onto the street today and get run over by a bus,’ thing, is a saying that we’ve all heard people chirp out. ..every chirpy day. We hear it! We never really absorb it! We don’t really think it would happen! So  we don’t at all care!

But STOP PRESS… it could..

So, if I could teach you anything, from how I’m feeling about my life right now, at a jolly 37 years old..It would be, to make sure that you DO TRY to appreciate the present..This little minute. It’s good for the soul…and makes Pina Coladas be a delicious act of merriment, rather than a reason to drown those sassy sorrows.

I shouldn’t go on walks should I! Haha.  I sound like flipping ‘Dolly Do Gooder.’

Spreading cheer, every day! Where’s the RUM??

Anyway, like I said, lots of exciting work things are happening. I always say that, and stop.

I’ve put my love life on hold, because it never seems to be my forte. It never makes me happy, because I never find my ‘Hero,’ do I? I’m not ready to! I’m happy as I am and I’m fully concentrating on work…on Wunna Land. MY Land. I feel quite fulfilled. But I feel like I have my hands full, already!

Guys, never make life easy on you, do they? Plus, let’s face it, I don’t really fancy a dollop of heartbreak, right now. It only sends me to the nearest bar, to cry into a cocktail afterward. I’ve got used to being SO unlucky in love, that it doesn’t even make me cry anymore. Which is a positive. Haha. It doesn’t even bother me. I can now, quite happily, read a message, hear a ‘no,’ feel a ‘nah, babe’ and casually move it along, whilst Salsa Dancing.

AND THAT MY DOLLS, IS SUCH A DELICIOUS SUPER POWER.

I’m back on your telly shortly. I’m auditioning. I’m working really hard. I’m currently doing a lot of waiting…That’s why I rambled on about patience earlier. Lol. I’m not a good ‘waiter.’ I’m a GO GET IT, with BZINGA, kinda girl.  I’m writing a lot for people.  I’m lucky, because i’m getting to ‘article’ and express for all kinds of brands, in diary form, which is just something that I was kinda born to do. I think, i’d like a really popular column one day. Saying that, I have a popular blog, a space in cyber land, already, which is serving me pretty well. I’m still watching Love Island, yet it’s getting a bit ‘vanilla’ now. I only like it when there’s ‘drama, drama, drama,’ eliminations and a ‘What has Adam done now,’ episode. That definitely means i’m sick. But I love that about me. I’m the squeezed lime in your Corona.

Influencing is going well. But I’m putting time to one side, because i’m actually currently writing a book. I’m writing it myself and I’m never gonna hit the deadline. It’s had to be pushed back and pushed back, sooo many times, that my agent is fuming and ‘shitting all kinds of literary bricks.’ The funny things is, it’s only a re release and redition of my previous book, so you’d think i’d have it easy. I must like to make things…I’d prefer to say ‘tings,’ hard for myself. I enjoy working under pressure. Leave me to my own devices and I’ll just go off, have a rummy cocktail, chat to friends, take the babies to the zoo…literally anything but sit and write the goddamn book. J

I’ve just taken a picture of a cactus. I have no clue why? But I’m currently blogging from Ackworth Garden Centre, at their coffee shop. In case you didn’t know, a CACTUS, is actually my favourite thing to buy a date….early on in ‘the tango.’

I once bought a boy one, during a ‘hotel night’ date. It was our third date.. It looked like a penis and he loved it so much, he left it there. Haha. I prefer it when they save the Cactus and treasure it forever. It’ll remind them of their prickly time with me. He was a douche anyway and I’m never one to ever say someone is a DOUCHE, unless they really are one. (You know who you are.) That was years ago by the way. I’m like a Villan who leaves ‘Cacti’ across lands, whilst evil laughing.

Right, i’m off now. I’m hoping my car’s fixed soon. I’m SO GLAD IT’S THE WEEKEND and I’ll be spending it ALL, with my little ‘charms,’ my babies..Ruby & Junior. When I was driving them to school this morning, I shouted out…

‘Ruby…Junior…I love you both SO MADLY.’

They paused….’Freaky Friday’ was playing in the background and they just BURST INTO, the most joyous fit of laughter…Then told me my boobs look like ‘coconuts.’

Then we broke down. Haha. I wouldn’t have it any other way.  😉

Thank you for following my life…

 

 

Boobs, Wedding Season & Single Life…

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Morning! I’ve had to have a couple days off because everything has gone manic. If there’s an insane work schedule, there’s peace for a moment, then an explosion of ‘home life’ drama. I’ve been up. I’ve been down. I’ve been at auditions, one minute. At drinks with friends, another minute. In meetings Out of meetings. Even at A&E.

Yippeee! Hospitals Rock!

This year, i’m being great to my family and shit  to my friends. But because i’ve been putting work first. Yet, people always will catch me. I mean, i’ve seen KatyP all lot, for drinks. I lunched with ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ on Monday. Yet, in those moments, when people do *catch me* everything looks really calm and serene…

BUT OH MY GOD…

As soon as I swing back out of the door, IT GOES BACK TO NUTS…and it’s something that people don’t understand, unless you do my job. I separate and categorize things, so when i’m at work, I work. When I’m with friends…I chill. When I’m in love…I do love.

(I’m currently extremely SINGLE by the way…and if i’m honest, i kinda LOVE IT. I’m ignoring my DM’s. I’m not talking to any guys. I’m waiting for Mr.Right. Not Mr. Almost Right. I’ve wasted too much time on ‘almost.’ It’s not good enough..and now I don’t even care. I’m the happiest, singleton in all the land. I know what i’m worth and I feel like i’m doing really well, right now. I’m in a really great career position, with a hopeful glitzy future. I’m doing what I love. I feel powerful. I’m beaming. It’s gonna take SOME man to cowboy stagger into Wunna Land and try and win my *cold stoney* lol… loving…kitten heart…over. Unless, you’re Adam from ‘Love Island’…You can stagger into Wunna Land at anytime you want mate… 😉 )

Wahey! No pants for anyone!

Right! So on Saturday, i went to my friend Vicki’s wedding.

It’s wedding season folks.

Now, I usually hate going to weddings. I love the reception, the drinks and the party. But I usually hate the ceremony part. I don’t know why, I do? Maybe because it triggers evil memories in my ‘married three times’ soul. 😉

However, this time, something changed…and I didn’t hate it. I couldn’t wait to go. I couldn’t wait to see her. She’s a great soul. A beautiful girl and she’s literally someone who goes out of her way to make people happy, if she loves and respects you. I like that. She’s someone I trust. Someone I find utterly honourably. (And she’s hot.)

I arrived at Rogerthorpe Manor at 10am. Went up to her suite, (Suite 14) to find the cutest bride maids tottering around, still in their comfies….bedding in their shoes…There was a hair stylist, a makeup artist, flowers, dresses, silver trays of Bucks Fizz and a calm, merry wedding day swirl, meandered around the room..

Me: ‘How are you so calm. Why are you not being nuts? I’d be crying into a gin my now.’

She was a dominant bride. (She knows what she wants and YOU WILL do it.) But she’s weirdly at the same time…really laid back. She’s happy.

Anyway, I got a ride to Selby Abbey..where her wedding would take place (under a strict ‘no selfie taking or drinking beforehand’ rule) and her cousin Toby, with his HOT BLOND of a girlfriend Laura…had to have ME, as their ‘tag along ALL FUCKING DAY. Lol.

I mean, imagine having ME as your third wheel. I usually ruin lives. 🙂 What could me more of a nightmare. Luckily, all three of us, even though their East Londoners, are built from the same boozy, flashy, fun dripped glitter bricks. I got them. They go me. ALL three of us got on straight away. (I mean there was a point where we’d made Laura ‘smash’ her fishbowl drink down, whilst chanting at her..So we could hurry up and slip into Toby’s  BMW, to drive away from Selby Abbey, to our new destination, with DIZZLE RASCAL…a playing. 🙂 )

This is what we were playing…So you can feel our mood too…

Toby: ‘I’m an actual certified BMW driver.’

Me: ‘Ace! Cos you’re in the oncoming traffic lane.’

Toby: ‘Oh shit!! Haha.’

Laura: ‘Everyone’ll think you’re mad!’

Toby’s an East London, cheeky chappy. A car salesman. He’s fun. He’s naughty. But he loves and looks after his girl. Laura’s blond and beautiful. She’s a total weapon. She tells it how it is. She can drink like a pirate, and look like Miss.World at the same time…and with all our powers combined…to say we had only just met…we HAD LITERALLY the best time in EVER!!

Spanks, Boobs n’all….

The wedding was regal and magical, because firstly….Vicki is someone who really deserves this…and by ‘this,’ I mean ‘her own version of happiness.’ Not because she needed or wanted it so badly. But because, she served life well and ‘in return’ life cut her some slack. I watched both Guy and Vicki say their ‘I do’s and I was so honoured to be there. AND I got to sit next to my old school friend Rich Ritucci and his wife Pamela. (We weren’t good at singing hymns…and mainly because it wasn’t Britney? And we might have talked about ‘Love Island’ a bit, before it started. And I might have also selfied.)

RULE BREAKER.

I mean, there I was…sat  in the most stunning Abbey, in the most inappropriate dress. ( I was in a flowy, lilac, all my boobs out, in an a place of worship‘ kinda dress. I didn’t burst into flames though? So God must have liked them. 😉  MY BOOOOOOBS WERE OUT!

Laura: ‘You broke all the rules. Haha. As if you wore that to a wedding…Lol’

Me: ‘Fuck it. I’ve done it now, haven’t I. Haha.’

Once you’ve done something. You HAVE TO commit to it, without explanation or justification. That’s what a glamour puss does.

(Laura was in spanks. I went to the loo with her, after having a ‘who can down their prosecco faster’ competition, with one of the other guest, on a pretty lawn, by a stone lion….so she could appropriately adjust them. Spanks are the bomb. They’re your new sexy best friends. Well..yours. Mine’s Paris Hilton. Hahah.) 

CONFETTI. (I forgot to being confetti.) MERRIMENT. (I did ‘merry.’) MAGIC. SELFIE TAKING. SUNSHINE & LAUGHTER, OCCURRED.

Then just like that after a quick drink…we got back to the hotel to do a BIG DRINK. 🙂 I like it when weddings get to the drinking part. The celebrations. We stood on the lawns of Rogerthorpe Manor, on the sunniest day, by gazebos, stone lions, with a first class service, the most fantastic violinist playing and everyone dressed to the nines, as fresh prosecco was poured for the ladies and the guys could grab a beer.

It was all hats and bliss…as picture taking took place.

Now, i’ve always said that i’ve never really been to a wedding where I haven’t been the Bride and let me tell you..

IT IS BLISS. I might never be a BRIDE AGAIN!!!

(Jasmine: ‘I cannot ever imagine you with a husband. I don’t even know how you’ve managed to fit three in already. Wunna belongs to no man.’)

Being a GUEST is ace because you have no responsibilities. No fuss. No stress whatsoever. You just show up, look pretty, be fun, drink, eat and dance.

I CAN DO THAT!!!

And I never have to totter out the joint, thinking, how the hell am I going to do another 80 years with this dude! 🙂

But you do need company, so I was grateful that I had Toby & Laura, because I shimmied up to the wedding on my own and they couldn’t have looked after me better!

Just so you know, I’m not one to ‘bring a Plus 1,’ either. I find it more awkward, then helpful. But if you know me personally, I have a great group of friends, but I really love doing things ON MY OWN, at times. I’m creepy like that.

I think it’s because i’m firstly around people all the time, so I find my own peace and secondly because i’m quite a confident chica. 😉 I love my own company. I’m REALLY independent. I’m the best person I know.

Hahaha.

I’m not afraid of anything…

Then out of nowhere, whilst i’m sipping my Prosecco…after the ‘downing’ competition that I told you about earlier, by stone lions to violins….Neil (Guy The Groom’s mate, saunters up to me…Everyone kept sauntering up to me because my boobs were like a ‘Top Shelf‘ display..it was almost like I forgot to wear a top… Anyway…Neil…)

Neil: ‘I’ve got a bone to pick with you..’

Me: ‘No you don’t? Haha. Which bone?’

(The last time I saw Neil, we were in a hot tub with Guy and Vicki…And Guy was trying to make me date Neil.) 

Neil: So you know this blog that you write…’

Me: ‘Yeees.’

Neil: ‘Well someone sent me the link to it, so I could read about the last time we met…and you said that I FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘No I didn’t.’

Neil: ‘You did. I read it. And I never did FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘Whatever.  I would’ve never put that, because well ..that didn’t happen……I don’t just make up stuff…Haha.. You’ve got it wrong..’

Then we had to filter onto the lawn for pictures. whilst guzzling wedding prosecco and getting ready for the reception dinner, after adjusting Laura’s spanks…

And it was at that point….on the sunniest day in Yorkshire…that magic swirled…

To be continued…

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When Wunna Did Sheffield! [Part One ;) ]

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So, I’ve just got back from Sheffield. If you’ve been following my ‘socials’ (mainly my Instagram Story @chrissiewunna) you will absolutely be aware of that. I ended up getting home at 1.17am Monday morning, simply because I was so utterly knackered and fell asleep on my train, after filling my entire body with cocktails and eating a giant Whopper burger. I totally missed my stop…and ended up in flipping NEWCASTLE at around 10pm..by ACCIDENT. Zara, who works at The Creator Salon, in Sheffield, well she offered to throw me a ‘life line’ of ‘need any help babe?’ At that point I suggested that she simply hire someone to find me and throw me onto train tracks or summat?’

I was DONE! I was HAD. Life got the better of my sorry cocktailed ass.

But..

My time in Sheffield was a delight. It was AMAZING and a lot more amazing than I thought it was gonna be, if i’m being honest. I’m Yorkshire anyway, so when you tinker off to work in in the same land, but on different turf, it’s kinda more like a ‘staycation than anything. It’s made me ADORE a ‘staycation’ and now I truly believe that people should do it MORE often. I honestly, had THE TIME OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. 

If I could describe my time in the city…I’d say….

It was a fun filled swirl of complete & utter decadent MADNESS!

I checked into The Novotel, in Sheffield city centre on Sunday & immediately the staff couldn’t be more helpful. They’re young. They’re cool. But they’re warm. The service was literally impeccable.(Esther…You are delightful and hilarious. Sorry, i almost got you done. 🙂 I have that effect on people.) 

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And fair enough they’re aware that i’m going to blog about my stay…I’m not an idiot. However, I watch and scan everything…and not only is that place peaceful, calm and designed so beautifully. It boasts a modern edge of glamour, with a meandering contemporary ‘ooh,’ the service all around, was first rate…I love that the hotel felt so relaxing, because nothing to me is worse than a bustle ridden ‘staycation.‘ I have a busy life. I yearn for peace.

The bar was swanky, the bartender was ‘winks,’ the indoor heated pool was private and my suite was perfectly ‘city‘ and divine. In general I love a masculine or moody looking suite. I don’t know why that is? I like it to look like a New York Business man’s stop off? It’s my favourite feeling when I’m hotelling it?  I much prefer it to light & fluffy…and maybe because it either makes me feel POWERFUL, or just balances ‘comfort’ with ‘work,’ so I stay focused. (Everyone always thinks i’m just tossing it off and socializing. It’s actually work. Don’t be getting it twisted.) 

I will say that The Novotel, they remembered the small things. I’m a ‘it’s the small things that matter’ kinda girl. (Well, apart from in certain departments. 😉 I like gents to be accompanied by the correct  sized trouser ‘bulge.’ I find it such a turn on. I cant even help it? It literally drives me wild…& i’m certainly not apologizing for it. Lol) But, yes…the ‘small things.’ I was Instagram story posting, the bartender spotted my Insta Story within seconds…He noticed that I asked you, to remind me to snack…and in a jiffy brought me over a tiny pot of nuts… with a grin. 😉

I was really impressed. And I love to feel impressed. This goes for work, service ANYWHERE and when it comes to guys.

I got to my room, after two wines and as soon as I checked in, to get showered & ready, I received a little *tipper tapper* at my door. I kitty dash to over, and I’m wrapped in a towel, after 20 minutes of showering, selfie taking, story loading and spying into other people’s windows, in the nude. (I only found Tupac. He wasn’t arsed about me.) I peek through the peeky hole and with a warm and chipper ‘door swing,‘ I was gifted with the most delicately beautiful dessert, with a handwritten note reading:

‘Dear Ms Wunna,

Wishing you a warm welcome to Sheffield. Hope you have a lovely stay with us and enjoy you time in the city.

Kind Regards, Beatrice.’

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I love a handwritten note…It makes me feel all special. It’s old school and delicious. It was certainly a perfect ‘work’ break. What I love about that place, is that they’re VERY MUCH aware that i’m going to be cheeky, with a sophisticated dash of charm and selfie with a ‘wink,’ which often includes zero clothes and maybe sexually suggested picture taking, with the addition of moderate swearing and nude spying. And that is absolutely fine with them. No probs. No issues!

They’re all ‘Let the Kitten do her work. ‘ Hahah

I adore companies, that refrain from judging influencers, simply because they’re a bit naughty or a wee bit ‘sexy’ and instead are smart enough to use that ‘power‘ to their advantage, in order to build attention, or invite in, a new audience.

Over the last 2 days, my story views were the highest of ALL TIME.

Over the last 2 days, I finally grew to love a Sheffield. And I say that because it was a city that I’d kinda forgotten about, really? I mean, if you’re from Sheffield, don’t forget to seek through it, enjoy it, find new bits and love it. There’s so much you can do and often, like long term relationships….when you see something or have something all the time, you kinda forget how special it is, or can be.

I had a blast…and my adventure there hand’t even really begun yet…

A couple interviews, whatsapp chats with my Leeds crew and a quick meeting later… I was dressed, and ready to go meet a friend at Kuckoo, Sheffield.

Now, I’m not someone who’s EVER going to stay in, when in a new city, a new hotel…with new excitement. I LOVE GOOD TIMES, I find my own fun and every inch of me intended to take that piece of ‘city’ and make it MINE for the night.

What could possibly go wrong! 😉

I strutted through street crowds, the bustle and a whole bunch of people dancing and drinking at street stands. They were all dressed really casual. But I was tinkering through, in my heels and orange dress. There was a vibe in the air. A sexy ‘testosterony’ energy. A ‘magic.‘ The city was actually packed. It was filled to the brim with ‘bank holiday’ life…Everyone was out! There was BUZZ around certain corners….An excitement…a ‘flutter.’ But I did notice that night, that the streets, bars of Sheffield were completely FILLED WITH GUYS!

Where were the girls at?

I tottered through the city streets. I think I was on Leopold Square or something? I have no sense of direction and I don’t care because I usually always find my way somewhere, right? Lol.

Me: ‘Where the fuck am I?’ I’m by the Leopold Hotel or something?’

AG: ‘Just keep walking… I can come find you. Wait..’

Me: ‘I don’t need you to find me. Just tell me where to go…’

AG was already there waiting for me. I’m usually never late, but whatever, I got lost mid totter…and had to walk through the maddest Latin street party ever. Lol

I finally got to a large door, with a small stair way and I could see a warm ‘red lit’ ooze of sexy, cocktail dripped lushness, radiating…

Me: ‘I’m here, I’m walking in now…’

On Sunday, at around 8pm….I strutted into Kuckoo….

 

 

 

Spring Cleans, Hollywood & Really Dodgy Fetish Parties ;)

I’m feeling all boated and knackered today, but i’ve got in the bag. My ‘Va Vooms’ on fire and because I feel like the busiest bee in all of the beautiful land…(Bee’s never look that busy to me, they just look like they try and SOUND busy, yet really they just fly around stinging people, whilst being stripey…) However, yes…I am busy with ‘the niggly bits’ the bits I despise. The bits where it comes in really handy, if OTHER PEOPLE do them for you. 🙂

*PLEASE HELP! HELP AWAY!*

And because I hate all things ‘niggly’ and it’s not wine o clock yet….I stayed really focused and distracted myself 🙂 by not concentrating, Googling bikinis and instead cleaned three rooms of my home from top to bottom, listening to ‘Little Mix’ in pyjama bottoms and a bra, and making work calls.

If I ever decide to clean my home that intensely from top to bottom…You know that I must be trying to bury my head in the glittery sand. I once threw out a pan and bought a new one simply because I couldn’t be arsed to clean it. 🙂

It’s like the most boring distraction in the world ever. It’s lame. Don’t do it. Sleeping with Greek men in togas is a good distratcion…Seeing what Michelle Keegan looks like in a bikini is a distraction…Cocktails…Friends, Banter….ANYTHING.

However, Scrubbing and hoovering is NOT! It’s shit. I only did it to burn extra ‘cos i’m bloated’ calories. But now i feel like I need 20 wines…

I have a really busy next 2 weeks…maybe 3 weeks…It’s jammed and at the same time i’m armed with The Wunna Babies. (Ruby squeezed all my Johnsons Baby Lotion of the pink bottle and and filled it up with water. That was fun. That was great! What a beautiful child. Didn’t at all make me want to RIP MY **&&*&*$$£”””” hair out. 🙂

Like the time when my LA guy roommate kept trying my clothes on in secret, when I was younger. I’d lay them all out, ready for a night on the razzle. I’d come back, after skipping off to buy wine, to find them inside out, worn…and smelling of sweaty boy. Lol. But much better than the time, I walked back in after late night Hollywood drinks…and found 7 grown up males, in pretend NAPPIES/DIAPERS, drinking beer and dancing in the living room….

I walked in with my best friend, who’s now a really successful film producer..(Good switch from ‘Party Boy’) and all I could hear was them panicking and shouting…

‘FUCK!!! DUDE!!!!! SHE’S FUCKING BACK ALREADY! DON’T LET HER GO UPSTAIRS.’

But me being Me…It weirdly didn’t bother me. Lol. I found it really funny..Plus, nothing is WORSE than having a secret fetish party and having a human, (who’s not part of the fun) *surprise* walk in…Let alone ‘surprise walk in’ and ALSO make you feel SHITTY… (Yet they were in diapers? Lol. I’m ridiculously laid back , when it comes to ‘taboo’ behaviour. I’ve seen so much…that that wasn’t anything really.

Me: ‘My feet hurt, are there anymore drinks…Why are you pretending to be an octopus? I’m going upstairs…’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘That’s Chrissie W’…’

Roomie: ‘Wunna…Yeah. She’s my roommate.’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘AW! FUCKSAKE DUDE!!!’

Roomie: ‘Don’t let her go upstairs! Oh! Hi, Matt!”

(That was my bestie.)

‘Chrissie, you’ve got some mail and that dude you went on a date with…that weird Bodyguard one…dropped your stuff back… Like a belt?’

Me: ‘Does it say *DIRT* on it? Is it that diamante one? He hasn’t even fixed the *Y* on it, has it…What an idiot. I hate dates… I’m just not gonna speak to him..’

And this was all when i was in my mid 20’s, and whilst my roommate was in a pretend diaper…and he was a lawyer. 🙂

HAHAHA. (Sorry, I’m just pissing myself….. My friend Matt & I did so much better for ourselves…Lol)

Upstairs was awful. Lol. Even I was shocked. I’ve told the story before and it IS embedded in this website…

But yeah…Lol…What I was actually going to say, is that now i’ve told the story…I noticed that the whole random fetish party didn’t bother me at all, yet the guy who decided to try on my clothes, whilst I was out, behind my back, BEFORE I HAD EVEN WORN THEM……

PISSED ME OFF.

So, it must be the little things that wind me up.

But anyway, thank you everyone for reading my blog! I’ve received so many inbox messages from literally all over the world, from ladies, men, girls, guys and saying that they’re loving it, hooked or have just had a first time ‘peek.’

Like ‘Trigg’ had a first time peek yesterday, because he couldn’t follow quite obvious instructions. Lol.

Trigg: ‘I didn’t know I could swipe up?’

Me: ‘What? Even though it says SWIPE UP??’

And a guy from Vienna messaged me this morning saying that he read yesterdays blog and loved it and that HE actually used to work right by me in LA, by The Grove. He has this wonderful Youtube channel about his travels, so I’m gonna check that out today.

Plus, I love that all Ladies, love a ‘school mums’ blog. Unfortunately, I went with diaper ridden fetish party today…But hey…It’s all about balance, right? 😉

I had a moment yesterday, where I stopped a second after being rushed out of a meeting and into a car, where I *paused* and got to chill for a moment….

I sent this message…

‘Missing ya.’

They replied with a..

‘Miss u to xx’

Then life scuttled us along…..

I’ve got lots going on, shoots, influencey things, I’ve got to fit in the time to commit to filming, flights to Spain, meetings, Motherhood…and my friends….

In this Chapter, my newest one…I am being a really shit friend. I went from having all the time in the world, to having no time…Or having to prioritse my time. Plus, I have ‘powers above’ who make me hinder to sacrifices. But I just have to do it. It’s work and i’m building…

But this weekend, it’s my chick friend ‘Fairytales’ birthday drinks…So I’ll be celebrating it with her at The Electric Theatre….

I actually almost forgot, because I had fittings and flights and all sorts of busy mayhem…But Mel reminded me on Monday….I love ‘People Reminders.’ And just like that…I’ll be there!

The Career’s going really well. I’m feeling really confident right now…

I’m gonna SMASH IT.

Cue: FIRE

Challenges, Balls & Busy Times

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Happy Frinally! How you all doing? I’m utterly rushed off my feet. It’s busy, but it’s all good. I’m feeling grateful for the Wunna Land *buzz* and even though it’s completely what I asked for Lol….I’m not gonna lie and say it’s not hard work.

Hard work pays off…

(And all that…;) )

I have a lot going on. I’m excited to cook with Kwoklyn Wan next month, and to also film the advert for my blog next week. I’m looking forward to celebrate friends birthdays and pick up my new whip. I’m scheduling and rescheduling and i’m trying to get it all sorted. There’s not enough hours in the day, nor is there days in a week.

But it’s exciting times..

I’m lucky. I don’t have it bad.

(And to everyone who has started a blog, a vlog, a social account or whatever it is, that you’ve chosen to ‘Boom,’ DO KNOW, that it takes utter dedication and work. It’s a FULL TIME job…that may not be rewarding at first..Yet once it bursts it’s ridiculously amazing. Like with anything, stick at it. It depends on how much you want it to work, I guess. If you ‘half ass’ it, you’ll get ‘half ass’ results. Which is better than nothing…Yet, with it being so competitive, there are people who aren’t ‘half arsing’ it…with their jobs, their kids, their everything in between and they’re the names that are smashing it or going to smash it in the future.

Preach over. I’m just being real. I get asked about it all the time.

I shot this morning, I also did DAY 2 of my Herbalife challenge (for all of you asking me about that also, do know that you can inbox me at any time and I’ll send you the details.)

Also, i’m getting a lot of emails for ‘meet and greets.’  I’m excited to ‘meet and greet’ with you.  BUTYou do need to make sure you email : info@thecelebritymanagement.com They will get it sorted for you and i’ll hopefully see you soon.

Plus, thank you for all the love i’m getting for, what i’m calling…‘my nipple pics.’ Lol. My nips appreciate the love? I don’t know what to say? If you subscribed to my Only Fans Account (onlyfans.com.chrissiewunna) you would’ve actually seen those pics…and a bit more…at the beginning of the week. Lol (They get exclusive content.)

Right, i’ve got all the blurb out the way! 🙂 I feel like I wrote that in one quick breath.

I have a busy weekend. Which reminds me i need to reschedule something. Ugh. I hate rescheduling, but sometimes, you just have to! 🙁

Mother’s Day is approaching, which a day that means so much to me. I was actually meant to ‘influence’ a brand for Mothers Day but I didn’t have the time to fit it in, which was hard on me, because it’s a brand that I adore.

However, I’m looking forward to both spending time with my own ‘Mama,’ and with Ruby and Junior. (I’ve emailed both Dads today, to do a ‘Day Switch’ with me, as they usually do ‘Sunday with the Babies.’ BUT, both have them have ignored my message. Lol.

WHICH IS ANNOYING.

Co parenting is bliss, but difficult at times.

But the kids are happy…and that makes me smile. (It’s World Book day’ today at their school and Junior actually thought i was pranking him and making him go to school in fancy dress, just for kicks. Lol. As if!!)

Junior: ‘If no one else is dressed up MUM. I’m gonna be SO UPSET AT YOU’

Me: ‘What Ruby’s *Little Red Riding Hood.*’

Junior: ‘That doesn’t count. She’s weird anyway.’

Me: ‘Show me ya pecs.’

(He went as Superman and it’s ace because it has padded pecs and muscles in. LOL. DYING.)

Talking about death…Ruby laid on m bed last night and asked me about the above. She’s recently had two great grandparents pass away and it’s weirdly stuck. It’s in her head constantly.

‘I don’t want you to die. When will I die. I don’t want…’

‘Don’t focus on people dying. Focus on having the best time ever, whilst you can baby. That’s what living is all about.’

I kissed her and she went to bed.

(Awww. I hate that it’s stuck in her head.) 

I’m currently hiding (yes because i’m creepy.) I needed a quiet moment, so i’ve come to a quiet place to secretly blog. You know when you just fancy some ‘you’ time…away from the ‘la dee daa.’ I love quiet chill moments by myself. I guess, when you have a really ‘social’ career…You treasure these moments.

I love them.

I get what Ronnie (one of my LA besties, who came to visit me in London recently) meant now. He’s a celebrity chef out there and well he said, whilst we were drinking in his suite, (well I was, he was ill) that he always posted a week afterward, simply because he didn’t want anyone to know where he exactly was.

Crazy innt.

But I get it now. Lol.

(I remember getting really drunk that night and dancing around a pretend executive suite cage. Ronnie’s gay by the way. Anyway, It ended up being such a hilarious evening. I love memories.)

Loads of people are messaging me telling me that I don’t need to do my 30 Day Challenge. I don’t wanna hear that. I’ve chosen to do it. So I’m doing it. What I need is support. Lol. So grab ya Wunna Flags and start telling me to smash it. I’m not defeatist by any mean. But, I just need to hear champion talk. Lol. You don’t have to do it. But I really want to. So yes, from now…

CHAMPION TALK, Please!

(It’s actually making me feel really good.)

I have also noticed that a bunch of my guy friends are haring on about how they don’t get an ‘International Mens day.’ Lol. Stop being babies…You wouldn’t do anything on it anyway. 🙂 Then I saw  react so incredibly to ‘Steak & Blow Job’ day with with March 14th. I’ve never seen so many excited posts. It’s not until Wednesday. So you just need to calm down.

I’m sure lots of you will get you steak and have us …*fill in the blank.* Lol. 

I do actually think you deserve a day, because it’s not that easy being a dude. So that can be your day to embrace.

Hope you all get blowys and red meat. Lol

ANYWAY…

Right now in life, i’m busy, but i’m feeling happy and free. I’m feeling liberated and finally like i’m getting somewhere. I had to make a switch, which took a lot of balls, but I did it and I haven’t looked back.

Don’t be scared to do the things that make you happy, because if you are, you’ll never feel fulfilled….

Kisses,

Thank you for following my life!

See you on my ‘Socials.’

 

 

 

 

Nothing Like A Wonderbra…

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Ah! This is my FIRST DAY of ABSOLUTE 2018 BLISS! I’m giddy and filled with kitty excitement. The New Year has officially *kicked* it’s pretty self IN and I am *PURRING* WITH A DELICIOUS SWIRL OF READINESS. I feel GREAT TODAY. I feel Wonderful! And luckily for you…like the lurgy, it’s contagious. However, absolutely and of COURSE, it is far MORE glamourous!

I’m feeling great! Wunnaful! You know when you just get that rush…that CRAZY rush of excitement that *zooms* through your body and bursts out of your seams. That’s how i’m feeling today. There’s a *buzz* about this land that I call ‘Wunna.’

To say i’m so excited, I’ve had a simple morning really…Woke up, cuddled the babies, stroked my kitten ‘Rocco,’ nibbled on breakfast, (I’m still being rubbish at dieting) and sipped my black coffee.

The rest of the day was spent at Wonderbra, being fitted into every delicious bra, in all of the mighty land.

In my mind…You can’t start the year without a decent ‘strap in’ bra, which will act as your ‘go to’ Battle Wear, through times of trial and trouble. That’s a fact. It’s a glamour pusses rule. It’s the bra you will always pick up, when you need that bit of comfort…The bra that will ‘party’ with you, go on ‘date night’ with you and keep you cosy, when you just feel like a duvet day.

This is what 2018 is about. Planning ahead. 🙂 Life isn’t gonna get me this year. I’m ahead of the game. I’m all prepared for any sort of ‘rug pull’ or dodgy surprise, that might decide to *pop* up out of nowhere and cause me any stress…OR EVEN WORSE heartache.

I mean, I’ve always played along with life and that’s why it’s been good to me. I’ve bounced back so many times, that it’s now either terrified of me or just cut me some slack.

*Air Kisses…Winks!*

This year, I’m armed with preparation.

Before..and for many years, life would frisbee a ‘bonanza’ at me and I’d let it whack me in the face, pick it up and then i’d mould it correctly, with tears in my eyes, before throwing the Frisbee back. (The process was long.)

This year. Oh yes Dolls! I’m all over it. Life will frisbee a ‘bonanza,‘ completely miss me and whack the person behind me (with lessons still to learn) in the face..so that they can mould, or just let the plug hole swirl them in.

Bottom line…You need a good bra for all this! 🙂

(I’m literally the best blogger in all the land. I even crack MYSELF UP. Poor brands. Haha!)

I spent my entire morning to afternoon in the delicious arms of Wonderbra. Now, incase you didn’t know,  I adore Wonderbra simply because it reminds me of my childhood. My teenage years. Their campaigns were always fun and we all needed a Wonderbra to feel sexy.  It’s such a classic old school brand, with a fresh, new modern day twist. And as we know…that is my specialty.

I spent my morning there.

So, yes, I’m meant to be some Glamour Puss extraordinaire…Yet let me tell you, I had the most HILARIOUS TIME. You do not even KNOW what has to go on, to get fitted into ANY lingerie or bra.

Wonderbra is a GOOD QUALITY brand, so the bra’s themselves are made so well and fit almost perfectly like a corsets, for your boobs. You can feel the quality of that bra, when in one and it’s that quality (like anything in life) that makes you feel SEXY. It made me feel so glamourous, so dignified, so filled to the brim with feline POWER.

So, this is what will happen when I go to bra fitting. I’ll saunter in, pick around four bra’s off the rails, that I THINK are my size?  I’ll always get it wrong, but nonetheless I’ll get the bra in every colour and all styles, to see what suits me best.

In the fitting room, all the clothes fly off and like today, the most adorable and warmest Yorkshire lady, almost like a cuddly, loving Mum sauntered into my fitting area and began fitting me into these bras.

It was hilarious. She was amazing. At one point I was completely topless, still in my jeans and knee high boots, bent forward like a juicy Burmese ‘plank,’ as she tried to strap me into my Wonderbra of choice… like it was my new sassy suit of armour.

She knew exactly what she was doing, as her giant tape measure dangled around her neck and we laughed every single minute of every single moment. If anyone was to walk past my fitting…you’d definitely question what ON THIS EARTH was going on!

Fitter: ‘This is too big…It’s far too big on your back. I need to grab you a different size.’

Me: ‘Yeah, But i like the black one better! How can it be do big? I’m a 34 E.’

Fitter: ‘Here, try this one. Bend over, let me fasten you in, cos you need to FALL your chest into it…Lean forward….It’s a 32 F.’

Me: ‘Can I try it in beige also? I like the strapless classic look..’

Fitter: ‘Your back’s small, your cups big. Let me fasten you in and grab you 3 more bras to try on..’

Then as a million bra’s swung around me…

( It was the actual height of utter glamourosity. Nothing was more ‘kitten like’ or spectacular. All it needed was a confetti shower…and a butler pouring us champagne.)

Anyway, as a million bras swung around me and I delighted in the comfort of femininity. But let me tell you, during ANY Wunna Land fitting, when I find the bra or lingerie I like, I will then prance and pose in front of the mirror, for a good 10 minutes per outfit. (WHEN I LIKE THEM.) Then after that 10 minutes, I will then pull out my phone and selfie in my outfit, until I get a good photo. 🙂 I’ll even warm up and do test shots. Lol.

   

I’ll forget that anyone else is there. Then i’ll realize and apologize sincerely. (I’m well mannered. 😉 )

Me: ‘I am SO SORRY. Look at me. I’m in this mirror thinking i’m Pamela Anderson or something. Haha.’

Fitter: ‘Shush you, you’re alright. I wish I looked like you in that bra. Prance away, you look so happy!’

(Fitters are always AMAZING, because they WILL ALWAYS make you FEEL BEAUTIFUL. They’re job is to make you feel good and FIT YOU. 🙂 ) 

Then i’ll moan that my hair wasn’t right and take more selfies… do more poses…

Before finally agreeing that the world is now a safer kitten place to live in and that I’ll now FEEL GREAT in my bra/lingerie.

(Incase you didn’t know, when it comes to the art of modelling…of the glamour variety…it is how an outfit makes you FEEL, that makes a great picture, not JUST about how you look in it. Nothing is worse than ‘dead eyes.’)

Anyway, done! Dusted! Happy as can be!

One of the best brands. One of the best services. One of the best bras that I have ever at the honour of wearing. I honestly couldn’t have FELT SEXIER. I could wear my strapless Wonderbra, all day, every day and feel like a absolute QUEEN! I felt ‘regal’ yet sexy! I felt powerful and we women love a bit of power don’t we! 😉

They’re like treasure.

Buy yourself a Wonderbra.

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2018, Kittens & Baby Pink Undies

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I sailed into 2018 peacefully, armed with the mighty words, that I accumulated via The Fine God, that is P.Diddy…

‘Too blessed to be stressed.’

I had a wonderful 2017. I don’t have to go through it all, because…well, you all know what happened, I wrote a diary about it almost every day. (Well, I told you the bits that I wanted to tell you. 😉 )

It was a big year of ‘building.’ The kinda year where you have a plan, yet FOR ONCE you actually go about ‘being productive’ with it all. For example…How can I put it?  Last year, I didn’t sit and WATCH the fitness video, whilst eating a packet of crisps. I STOOD UP AND DID THE VIDEO.

Changes were made. Changes that put ‘happiness’ first and because of all that sassy sizzle of hard work…this year….in 2018, I should be rubbing two sticks together and finally making a fire.

There’s been lots of moments where in which *sparks* were lit, yet the fire didn’t burn…because I couldn’t dedicate time to it.

So with ‘timing is everything’ as my cliche. In 2018, i’m just gonna get on with it. That fire will burn.

This is my year.

(And I do mean that in both work and love. People always ask me about my love life…When it comes to love…I very much put my hand on my heart and swear by fate.)

How you all feeling? I’ve watched all your Snapchat & Insta stories and lived your New Year’s Eve with you!

So whether you woke up in a new city, or with a strange human laying next to you, or on a friend.. of a friends sofa… or at home with the kids, on your own..whatever happened? Whether you woke up hungover, sober or immersed in an accidental new chapter…KNOW… that you’re fine.

It’s Monday. It’s cool. You can use January 1st as an excuse to ‘start over.’

During the day, I had a busy New Years Eve, as I was on a train with Ruby & Junior (and my Mum) at 9.12am. I was on Platform Six, at Doncaster train station and headed into Leeds to go do lunch, a ‘Meet and Greet’ and stroke kittens at The Kitty Cafe.

Popular place. I had a WONDERFUL TIME. Really happy to have met you all. (I was late because my Taxi Driver didn’t know how to get there. I hate that, because if I was a taxi driver…I’d KNOW HOW TO DRIVE PLACES.) Fabulous wonderland. That place is spankingly bouji. It’s peaceful, yet busy and I’d say the perfect place to take your children….if they adore kittens.

Ruby & Junior LIVED FOR IT. I couldn’t get them out of the place! I had to pretend that we were buying a kitten, that would magically arrive at our home… by post? JUST TO GET THEM TO LEAVE.

I actually couldn’t believe how amazing the cafe was! You should absolutely go for the experience. However, I was there to ‘meet you’ and ‘greet you’…and that pretty much was my focus. (I love that you can order a Japanese flowering tea there. All the BOUJ!)

Just so you know! There’s actually going to be A GREAT DEAL of opportunities to ‘Meet Me’ and ‘Greet Me’ throughout this year. I’m excited to see you. I love it. It’s my favourite part of the ‘ball.’ A lot of you are asking…So yes, do not fret! The opportunity to say ‘hello’ and tinker in Wunna and will be there.

But anyway, my New Years Eve, was all about family. I had everyone around at my place and after a dance off, a few drinks, a bit of food, mixed in with the art of acting out ‘Little Mix’ videos. (Junior LOVES a shindig. He went bonkers with his dance moves and pout. His soul is every inch Wunna Land. Ruby is sassy, sophisticated, but FUN.)

Junior: ‘Mum, swing that chandelier thing about…No!  Do it really fast, so it makes the room look like a party.’

(Olly Murs ‘Dance With Me’ was on in the background, so loud that you couldn’t hear anyone speak at all. I guzzled Prosecco and forgot to think about my waistline. Oh and DO KNOW, that a Diet Guru did actually contact me and you will SEE which plan I think i’m going to go with….over the next couple weeks. Oh! And everyone keeps messaging me, asking what my New Years resolutions are? I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Lol. Do people still make New Year resolutions? I thought they had been buried with the art of giving Christmas cards?)

Bottom line, I don’t like to restrict myself, simply because my life turns insane at points and I need to be emotionally and physically ‘flexi’ enough to Rumba along with it, without ‘Stop Signs’ and ‘Tut Tut, Shakey Fingers’ telling me to ‘Watch out.’

There was definitely a point last night where I found myself with a left handful of Jelly Babies & a right handful of Bombay Mix.

Oh the glamour!

I ate out of both handfuls..gracefully. Infact, a tiny piece at a time, like I was the Queen.  Then washed it down with prosecco..ungracefully…like I was Captain Jack Sparrow…in a faux fur….Or did I do it like I was Ru Paul? I can’t decide?

Anyway, the family party is going on downstairs. I tinker upstairs to find something. Lords knows what? Maybe my dignity, some help, a cocktail bar, Elvis? Who Knows???

I saunter into my room, slip into my’ comfiest comfies’ and then accidentally fall asleep in my pj’s at around 11.30pm without telling anyone, just before the whole ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR,’ hoo haa. (I do that..When I need to rest, I just disappear…and get comfy. That’s why I always love guys who like to kick back and get comfy, in their comfies.)

Mum: ‘I walked upstairs to find you and you were tucked in bed, with the lights out fast asleep, with a giant bottle of Prosecco by your bedside…even RUBY stayed up!! Haha.’

Woke up this morning feeling,

FRESH AS A DAISY.

So FRESH, I was *breezy.*

So CLEAN, I was *squeaky.*

Tried a whole ‘dazzle’ of Ann Summers numbers on, before noon. Delightful little pieces of ‘cheeky, cheeky.’ I love Ann Summers, I think it’s GREAT. I’ve obviously worked alongside them previously, as I designed a Sex Toy range, with Jacqueline Gold (CEO of the company,) which was filmed and aired on Channel 4. I was ‘fitted’ into all sorts of pieces this morning….Some played well with my body…Some got the ‘thumbs down…Something got the ‘YES!!! THAT’S IT!’ ( I love those moments.)

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Then I had fish and chips. (Yay! Well done Diet Queen.) And because I worked SO HARD during 2017 and because (here we go) I have such an exciting 2018 of ‘work hard’ but with results for you to enjoy…I kinda wanted to just rest today. I’m already in my comfies, sat on my bed blogging, with a wine.

 So January the 1st. 2018…Wunna Land rested. Lol.

What? If my soul needs to rest, it’ll rest and if my soul needs to play…it’ll play.  🙂 🙂

Tomorrow…I’m headed in with a wink…

Welcome to 2018.

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Check out my Instagram & Facebook Stories for Wunna Land ‘Behind The Scenes’ moments.

x

 

Flowers, Fun & Let’s Show Our Gussets

It’s just the most amazing time and I say amazing simply because for me, it’s a time where in which I realized how GREAT my 2017 has actually been. I realised how wonderful my friends and family are and how much i’ve appreciated them being there through the ‘ups’ the ‘downs’ and the jiggly bits of this year. They’ve been there through the fun. They’ve been through through the laughter. They’ve been there at the parties. They’ve been there through the drama.

We’ve watched each others hearts beam. We’ve watched each others hearts break. But no matter what, through the thick and thin of it all and we as humans kinda take  the ‘thick and thin of it all’ for granted…They’ve really been there for me. We’ve been there for each other, and without ANY condition.

I mean my friends and I are a sassy bunch of fuckers. It’s all hair tosses, work, prosecco bubbled ‘feel betters’ and the absolute BEST of good times. No one does ‘good times’ better than US.  There’s been tears, tangos and those occasional that salty pinches of drama. But we say how we feel and we say it well. Some of the bunch are really open, some of the bunch prefer to keep their secrets to themselves..Some cry…Some don’t……Yet we understand each so well…that no matter what we get it. It’s hard to find people who ‘get it,’ right?

So, incase you didn’t know, I’m headed into a new chapter right now. Infact, i’ve done it. I did on Friday. I’m feeling excited, a yeah…a little under pressure. I’m feeling as though i’m about to ‘cannon ball’ into the unknown, with everything crossed. If i needed support ever, I’d probably need it now.

(PLEASE FEEL FREE TO THROW IT AT ME. And RUM, THROW RUM.)

It’s a really important time for me to ‘sass it up,’get my business head on, move forward confidentially and do it power heels. Yet, being i’m Miss Wunna, (i’m a glamour puss, i’m gentle) I’m not one to override deliciousness, when it comes to me, in the form of friendship, love and surprises…

Before I started power strutting…I stopped to smell the roses, appreciate those that I care about and let them appreciate ME!! J It’s something i’m actually not good at, believe it or. 😉 I’m a giver, not a taker and they say you’re either one or the other?

Friday was WONDERFUL. I held it all together. I got through  my work morning. (All I did was sit in a giant black faux fur, and do nothing, whilst I bantered with the girls and demanded that we drink prosecco at some point, even if it was in plastic cups and EVEN IF, ‘Lady Shizzle’ had not been able to show up because she had managed to guzzle so much red wine that she dashed for the last train home, missed her step whilst stepping onto the last train home and FELL DOWN the side of the train. Yes in the ‘mind the gap’ crack. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nothing made me wee myself MORE. I was delighted by the glamour of that story. It was BRILLIANT. I loved it.

Fairytale tried to tell me the story, with her angelically serious ‘fairytale’ face, but I just couldn’t stop uncontrollably PISSING MYSELF, that it just turned into hilarity. It’s just brilliant.)

Me: ‘Honestly. Lol. Never in my entire life, when I have been THAT pissed and had to catch a train, have I ever missed stepping ONTO the ACTUAL train and fallen down the crack. Hahahahaah. It’s IMPOSSIBLE! It’s hilarious. I love it!’

(I might have been sick on a train and pretended I didn’t do it…But I’ve always managed the ‘step onto’ quite well. Probably because I know, i’m one step closer to home. One step closer to safety. Lol)

But yes, the day was filled with laughter, girl banter, occasional sad faces and then I noticed Fairytale and Firmonnell disappear and leave me with Beth. ..who was smearing some kind of moisturiser around her face.

Beth: ‘You’ve made me ill.’

Me: ‘Yeah I know.’

Beth: ‘Do I look like a reindeer?’

Me: ‘Where’ve they gone?’

However, lunch was had, sore lips were made fresher, cheeks were bronzed and then I again wanted Prosecco. Firmonnell bought me lunch. I’m a veggie now because ‘Hustle’ forced it upon me, so I winked at a 3 Bean Salad. It didn’t wink back, but i had it anyway. 😉 Yet, I LOVED that she bought my lunch. It weirdly made me feel super special. It the simple things, I tells ya!

I decided to do some work, which consisted of scrolling through my Instagram page Lol, still in my giant black faur fur, whilst swinging on an orange swizzle chair..then all of a sudden I hear a,

‘Chrissie?’

My eyes literally dart up…. and like I’ve won the lottery, I started screeching..

‘Yeah! That’s me! THAT’S  ME!!!’

And there they were…..The perfect delivery human, with the most PERFECTLY, GRAND DISPLAY , OF THE MOST GLAMOUROUSLY GIANT, PINK BOUQUET OF FLOWERS!

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It was like a dream! I squeaked!!!

There’s always this ‘little girl’ in me, that is delighted by goodness, treats and surprises.

Flowers came, selfies happened…

Me: ‘I’m not in the right lighting!!!’

Then as the day went on, after a mosey outside, a couple hours later….I strutted back in with a..

‘I’m off upstairs. I need a wee…’

But I looked at ‘Fairytales’ face, she had some ‘Cheshire cat’ grin on…’Dipper’ was sat next to her, looking like nothing was happening…and then I looked at ‘Firmonnell’ for confirmation…who kinda looked expressionless. I actually thought that nothing had gone during my absence…I took two steps forward and…

I SQUEAKED!!!

A corner that should be dedicated to work had been filled with love….There was pink champagne, my favourite cocktails in a can, cards galore, my flowers….a glass that read ‘You Gorgeous Thing You’ and the BEST PART was one of those LIGHT UP BOARDS…Y’know…the ones that you can buy that read like a cinema headline…and it simply read…

‘GOOD LUCK WNNA.’

Firmonnell had to spell ‘WUNNA’ without the ‘U’…. because there was only one ‘U’ in the packet. HAHAHAHA

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IT WAS MY FAVOURITE.

I was just over the moon. It was SO thoughtful. It made me feel WONDERFUL!! It made me feel really cared for.

I just jollied about merrily, squeaking, whilst bursting out little ‘happy dance’ routines. I radiated happiness. Nothing else in the world mattered during that moment. I was on Cloud 9.

It was then when I realised how lucky I was. I’m really lucky.

The moment was followed by heartfelt Whatsapp messages from other close friends and all the love and support that a ‘little girl’ like me could ever wished for.

Me: ‘If this is what happens during new chapters…I just want to do them EVERY DAY!’

We drank, we laughed, we bantered and as people trickled away they hugged me ‘good luck.’

Then…like the day hadn’t been magnificent enough…I checked my email inbox and someone who has throughout the year, tinkered in Wunna Land, with his bad ‘Grandad’ jokes, yet with smiles that would suggest he was the happiest human on Earth, sent me a gift…

And that gift was ‘wisdom’…via the fine art of poetry.

I love a good poem and I adore any form of motivation….

So he did just that….I’ll quote you a bit…

‘Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close YOU are,

It may be near when it seems Afar,

So stick to the fight when you’re Hardest Hit,

It’s when things seem worse that YOU MUST NOT QUIT..’

 

It was followed by a phone call..

‘Is Chrissie there…Put her on…’

He was on the other end of the line and even though he’s cheeky and will whip you a truck load of really bad jokes….there are moment where in which I couldn’t feel more inspired. You feel inspired when you need to feel inspired right? Plus, I always respect those who have been on this merry Earth a tad bit longer than I….Well he’s sixty soon…so a TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD bit longer longer. Lol

But the last thing he said to me was..

‘I want you to go out there and KILL IT CHRISSIE. Go out there, take what’s yours, grab it around the neck and wring it.  I believe you can do it and you know you can do it. It’s yours for the taking….KILL IT…because you CAN.’

Then the glamour puss officially left the building, after ‘thank you’ phone calls and casually turned out lights.

‘Have you locked the back door?’

I’d pretty much checked in and checked out with everyone….Well…aside from Mel…I never really got time to ‘shimmie’ a ‘good luck’ with her… However, luckily, I looked down at my phone and with a…

Mel: ‘What time are you done? Do you wanna do drinks at The Carleton…’

Me: ‘Yeah, definitely. I’m en route now…’

Mel : ‘I’ll be there 5.45pm.’

I met her at the bar and we drank wine, in the corner of a cosy, yet busy pub..It was filled with bustle and what looked like ‘Christmas Parties.’ Ladies were giddy with excitement for a night on the razzle and the guys had sauntered in for quiet drinks at the bar. It felt really good, as everyone looked as though they were having the most wonderful time. Be the young. Be the old. They were happy.

We chatted the whole entire night. We talked over the present, we talked about the future, we recreated the past….I compared a relationship to a game of ‘pass the parcel..’

Me: ‘I dunno? Right now, it kinda looks like a game of pass the parcel… a boring one, where no one opens a prize and there’s absolutely no music….Like you’re just passing the parcel… to keep it going…for the sake of…’

More large wines were drank, she encountered new fun with old friends, I met new faces and we laughed about our lives, we chatted about our love lives and we talked ‘danger’ and how much we decided we liked it?

So much vino was delightfully sipped, that we ended up having to LEAVE OUR CARS and get a lift home.

In that moment, ‘good times’ with a great friend mattered MORE THAN curfews and being angels.

It ended up being one of those REALLY GREAT NIGHTS.  A night i’ll always remember. It sailed me into a morning of New Chapter’ slighty hungover…yet filled with support.

Saturday morning, I spent shopping and then lunching with Baby Ruby, who now thinks she’s a superstar.

Rubes: ‘I don’t want to get my hair washed in the bath anymore. I just want to go to the hairdressers all the time because she pampers me and massages my shoulders, when i’m stressed.’

Me: ‘Your hair looks cute…’

Rubes: ‘DON’T TOUCH IT MUM!!!! IT’S IN A STYLE!!’

Snapchat Message from Pete (Her Daddy) : ‘Awww, her hair really suits her like that!!!’

Reply: ‘Good Luck…She now only wants it done at the hairdressers and says she’s never taking her plaits out EVER.’

Pete adores Ruby with all of his soul. We both do. Yet, he loves a ‘Diva.’ I AM a ‘diva’ so with Ruby, it’s kinda like having my OWN personality, ‘personality’ back at me….It’s wonderful and creepy all at the same time.

Then I  taught her ‘shoulder rolls’ (in public) which to me is the ONLY dance move you need to know, when it comes to the art of ‘being swag.’ It’s so versatile! Lol We literally stopped in the middle of a  shopping centre, dropped our bags and stood facing each other doing ‘shoulder rolls’ until she got it. J

Mum: ‘It’s moments when I watch to both do things like that, that I couldn’t love you both anymore. It almost had nothing to do with shoulder rolling and everything to do with your bond…your friendship and your absolute giddy love for one another..’

Tomorrow morning, I’ve got my London/Ronnie blog out and then my pretty little darlings, we begin my BIRTHDAY WEEK!

I’ve purchased, i’ve packed and i’m ready.

Tomorrow morning, I head to the depths of the Sherwood Pines Forest , to check into my luxury log cabin for the week, with the babies and the family! I couldn’t be MORE EXCITED. It isn’t actually my birthday until Tuesday, which is the 19th, so yeah it’s all about peace and tranquillity…But let’s face it, I’m a  good time gal, i’m having a birthday and i’m someone that refuses to play the ‘it’s just other day’ card.

To me, it’s the best day ever!!  So we’re gonna be having a fun and boozy, good old birthday time! You hate being a ‘Christmas Baby’ all year, until it’s Christmas…and your birthday! J

I hope you’re ALL HAVING THE MOST MARVELOUS FESTIVE SEASON. Please have fun. Even if you’re glum, please try and have fun. Don’t let life trickle through your hands. Take control of your time and make it yours. Celebrate it!

I mean, I received a card on Friday that read,

‘Then we must frolic, dance and maybe flash our gussets…’

And that’s all I want you to remember… Don’t be dull!

I’m in a new chapter…Let’s dance..

I’m in the forest tomorrow…TWO DAY BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN.

 

Chrissie x

But Baby it’s Cold Outside…

;

It’s cold kittens, isn’t it? It’s ‘nippy…nippy…dooo…daaa’ and I am FREEZING. If I hate anything, I hate being cold. I’m all about the heaters being blasted on ‘FULL’ and a warm bowl of comfort food.  I can’t even DEAL with the chills of jiggery pokery, tinkering up my kitty spine. I’m far too EXOTIC to function under such circumstances.

Rubbish Friend: ‘You were born in DONCASTER, Wunna!!’

But whatever, that’s beside the point :)…. like anything ‘Ninja,’ I’m sure  IT’S IN MY BLOOD. I’m 100 percent Burmese. I spent 10 years growing up in LA! It’s all ‘warm, warm, give me some.’ It was the coldest day in all of the land, in Yorkshire today and I braced it in a Little Mistress faux fur. (I’ve over worn that Faux Fur, but it’s such a goody, that I just have to keep the roll going.)

I can’t even MOVE, when i’m cold, let alone BE USEFUL. A number of people attempted to force me useful today.  If you want me to be useful…don’t make me cold. Simples! (Radiators R’US. Live for HEAT. Let’s hang with the Fire Brigade, to make us feel warm. 😉 )

As you can imagine, I froze and pulled faces all day and….it rocked. I didn’t even do it for attention. Lol. I might have completed the COLDEST WALK IN ALL THE WORLD, with a chick named Beth.

‘Why is it so ******* COLD! I might die!!’

YET, f i’m being honest, even though the temperatures are dodgy, I kinda LOVE WINTER.

It’s more magical than Summer, isn’t it? Summer’s a fun season, but it’s a SELFISH season. In Summer, we’re all about ourselves. It’s flings and flamingos.

Winter is my favourite because, we commit to knitted jumpers, crackling fires, Gucci scarves, one more mulled wine, * pom pommed* gloves and surrender to kindness, merriment and reflection.

We cant help it.

It’s cuddles, it’s family traditions, it’s ‘Santa magic’ and glass *clinks* with your dearest friends. I love Winter. It’s my favourite. It may be cold, but whocares…I have a BIRTHDAY In 19 DAYS! I love Winter. 🙂 (All gifts appreciated. Just *volley* arm them into Wunna Land.)

So, I haven’t been able to blog over the last couple of days because I haven’t found the time. Time hasn’t found me. I’ve been working all days, most days and then being Mum, with a jolly side of sorting out the good old career. 🙂 I’m gonna shock ya.

I hope to have a really GREAT next year and if i’m gonna do that…I’m gonna have to put in the work. I have juggled and jiggled and worked my ‘pattooyi* off THIS year…and more than you would think.

NEXT YEAR, I finally get to fully celebrate life. Even though i get moments of second guessing myself, I’m feeling quite ‘swag’ about it all. It’s human nature to have doubts at times. People do make you feel bad for having doubts at times….But don’t. It’s normal. It isn’t that deep. All that matters is that you make the nerves temporary, and stiletto kick them out your way. I’m good at that. I’m really good at that. I’m really good at helping OTHERS do that!

Right now, i’m feeling pretty ‘gangsta,’ with a sophisticated, ‘Dior’ dripped strut. (Definitely did TI’s ‘You don’t know me’ video in my bedroom mirror, with a Desperado in my hand, this evening…and i don’t even CARE.)

Let’s have some fun now! It’s Christmas.

Over the last few days, i’ve been with the girls. Mel’s had a bird poo on HER ACTUAL FACE….Oh the glamour!

Me: ‘What? It’s lucky.’

Mel: ‘It pooed on my actual FACE!!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ bought burgundy jumpsuits, ‘Hustle Barbie’ received surprise and somewhat romantic Vegan packages at work, ‘Double B’ froze and referred to old peoples privates as ‘crusty bacon’ and ‘Firmmonell’ did my favourite place with ‘Big D’ via Snapchat!

‘We’re in your favourite place!!!’

Everyone else is ill. 🙂

Yipppppppppppeeee! Don’t come near me with your lergy!!

I’m going through a massive change in my life and I’m really excited. It’s weird because it proves that even when you’re old, greta things can still happen. Don’t give up hope. Age means nothing. It’s not about how many YEARS you’ve strutted, and more about HOW YOU STRUT….Make impact…it’s sexier.

At thirty six, i’m feeling really together,  but a whole lot of fun. It’s snowing outside, I have a contract beside me and I’m looking forward to Christmas.

If you didn’t know, for my birthday week I am away at the luxury Forest Cabin, with Forest Holidays. I always go there, because it’s a place of HUGE sentimental value to me. It’s one of the only places that I find peace and before a big next year, I’m gonna need that. I’ve had a great 2017. But 2018 will be much easier. I’m ready now.

I’m lucky.

This weekend I have WARM fun with Ruby and Junior planned, ‘Hustle Barbie’s birthday dinner in Leeds at Bar Soba and on Monday one of my BEST LA FRIENDS, Ronnie Woo is coming to London to lunch with me….

He’s a marvellous celebrity chef in LA and i’ll be telling you all about him soon. I can’t WAIT for Monday. I love Ronnie. He’s like a little brother to me. I’ve known him since he was 19 and at the time, we were both working a  part time job at a gym, scanning people like ‘before they were famous’ Nicole Scherzinger and Perez Hilton in for a work out. That time was such a great time in my life. Young Hollywood rocked.

But I waited a long time…and it was only now that SO MUCH is happening to me! So much, that I don’t even know where to start???

There’s lots I CAN tell you. Lots that  I CAN’T . And so much that I NEED to tell you…. BUT, right now, all  I WILL say is, that on the work front, things are really great in Wunna Land. I’ve got lucky.  It’s about to heat up…and you’ll be invited on my journey with me. ( I don’t know how this little diary got so big? Yet, I’m grateful. I don’t take anything for granted. I’m not like that. I really do thank you for reading it…even when it’s rubbish.)

I guess, I feel like i need to say that, as everyone always thinks that i’m really ‘pr’ driven and i’m not. I couldn’t be more different to that. It’s almost humourous. I mean, I’m not an idiot. I know when to ‘turn it on.’ I’m an entertainer. It’s what i do. I love to entertain. But i’m not one of these ‘robots,’ who doesn’t have a soul. I’m not a slave to it all. My soul is filled with Prosecco bubbles and brims over with winks, love and a natural ‘joie de vivre.’

At thirty six, I’m pretty much stuck in my ‘no nonsense’ ways. I’m not easily swayed. I stick to my guns and go with what I believe is morally right. I don’t play. I’m grown. And you’d know that if you met me. I’m the salt of the Earth.

And YEAH…I’m a bit glammy, sprinkled in boujiness and dashed in ‘swag.’ And YEAH, there’s a weird elegant dignity about me, with a cheeky upfront charm…. I enjoy the finer things in life and the world in general…

Yeah…i’ll agree that i’m  sassy….But unlike most, i’ll sit with you in a bar, treat you like you’re human and share a drink with you over banter.  I won’t even have to know you. I’ll love you, before I judge you….and that’s what makes me real. If i like you, i’ll smile. If I don’t.. you’ll feel it.

I’m someone who will say ‘sorry’ and not because I always think i’m wrong and that YOU’RE always right, but because I’m someone who will value my relationship with you, MORE than my ego.

*Slurps Desperado.*

People never know that about me.

I need to go…

I HAVE LOTS TO TELL YOU…

RIGHT NOW, I just can’t get it out….

Gino’s, High Fashion Mags & Loading Bays

Gino’s was great on Friday. It was the perfect treat to celebrate my soul, after a trip to Candy Mechanics. As soon as I pushed through that magical glass entrance and into the stylish, baby blue, sanctuary of Italian life, light and love…I was immediately greeted with warmth, a gust of ‘part of the family’ and a distinct zap of (what I call) ‘boujiness.

‘Hi Chrissie! How ARE you! Great to see you again!’

(Almost like i’d never left.)

The beautiful hostess beamed with ‘Wunna’ delight and stylish Italian manager came over, for hugs and ‘welcome back’ kisses. I always feel at home, whenever I walk through those doors. There’s no place like it for me. It’s cosy and immaculate, yet filled with a fun, sophisticated, Italian vibe. Whenever I go, I’m treated so well, that all that’s left to do is to enjoy a freshly frosted glass of prosecco. It’s m perfect. ‘relax after a busy work day’ haunt.

Me: ‘I’m just gonna grab a drink, if that’s okay? I’m on my own.’

Hostest: ‘Do you need me to take your coat?’

Me: ‘No, no, i’m fine thank you. I’ll just head down to the Prosecco bar.’

She smiled like I knew my way…(and I know my way to any Prosecco bar…blind) and as I sauntered down the stairway, I cheekily glimpsed around the restaurant.

It was all a bustle, almost every table filled with good times, families and friends. Infact, it was really quite busy for 2pm on a Friday! I couldn’t see an empty table. Even when I got down to the Prosecco bar for a quiet drink (the prosecco bar was peaceful, I was the only one sat at the bar) the downstairs restaurant was also full. It was filled with a party of handsome, excited, stylish young men. Guys! The boys! They looked like they were celebrating something? But who knows? They had fun! They ordered THE BEST of everything in the entire place! Their bill actually came to a shocking amount and the great thing about them, was that they didn’t care one bit because they had spent it on ‘good times’ and memories.

I looked over at the lady behind the bar, who had already asked me what I’d like..and with a wink and a smile…my frosted glass of prosecco was right there in front of me.

*Looks down at phone.*

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where you at? I’m in Leeds.’

Me: ‘Ginos. You coming? I’ve only got 7 percent battery life…My phone’s gonna die.’

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Yeah. Cool. Stay there. Be there in 20 mins. No. 30 mins.’

Incase you’ve forgotten, Abeiku Arthur is one of my good, good friends. He owns the high fashion magazines, ‘House of Solo’ and ‘Pentagon.’ I love our impromptu catch ups, as we always end up talking business, work and banter. We have these personas of swag, style and grace….(well my ‘grace’ is dipped in moderate SASS,) yet if you were to actually sit in, on one of our conversations, you’d probably DIE of actual ‘holy shitness.’ Nothing is more OPEN than our conversations. He brings the ‘gangsta’ our in me.

Anyway, i’m sat at the bar, sipping prosecco by myself, happily taking selfies and snapchatting life at Gino’s. I’m running out of charge because of this Tom Foolery, and if i HATE anything, I truly dislike running out of charge. (If you know me personally, you will know that I ALWAYS carry a charger.)

Luckily, whilst I was sat at the bar, I noticed a guy sat at the end of the bar, on a laptop, that had a wire that mysteriously disappeared under the bar.

I followed the magical wire with my eyes…and BOOM, I ungracefully plonked my head rapidly under the bar and OH MY LORD, HAVE ALL THE MERCY, to my absolute DELIGHT, under the bar, was charger point HEAVEN. Hundreds of sockets. Life! Light! My heart may have skipped a beat. I plugged in and charged up…Yet weirdly I did it sneakily, because you do don’t you for some reason, when you’re charging your phone in public places? There’s a sense of ‘am I meant to be doing this’ about the whole situation. But you do it anyway?

Abeiku Arthur shows up, with some vintage camera that he’s bought from some vintage store, and takes photos of me to adjust his flipping focus.

We talk work. We talk life. We talk banter. We have some many stories that would shock your soul, it’s almost hilarious. We’re both hustlers. We’re both determined. We both have businesses that have accidentally done well. I love ‘House of Solo’ because I know how hard he works and how bad he wants success. Were both hustlers by nature. I do it glamorously. He does it dipped in a swaggalicious dash of ‘high fashion.’ He loves ‘Wunna Land’ and chrissiewunna.com because, who flipping doesn’t? 😉 But really, to him, i’m amazing because i’m honest. I’m real. We always have these bets on with each other and there has NEVER been ANYTHING SO FAR that I have SAID i’m going to do, that I haven’t done YET! Well..apart from ONE THING.

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Where’s my money! You ain’t done that at all!’

Me: ‘Fuck off. It isn’t Christmas yet. I said CHRISTMAS! Anyway, I have a tab open, order a drink if you want.’

‘Nah, it’s cool. I’ll get mine.’

‘You do know, i’m getting a cocktail after this…’

‘You’re not, i’ve parked in a loading bay, so we’re on a timer. You have to come with me to see this chick, who’s got  some camera lights that I need to look at…Oh! I have PR now.’

‘Really who…?’

We finish our drinks, we chat about our next career stop offs. We snapchat and get annoyed at the fact that the double ‘bunny ears’ filter, only commits to one. ME! 🙂  It plays with you doesn’t it?

One face ALWAYS has the ‘bunny ears’ and the other face has to tilt and meander in order to get a ‘look in.’ But it lies to you and tells you that you can BOTH ENJOY ‘bunny ears’ at the exact same time with EASE. There’s no ease about it. You end up in the most awkward head alignment, for absolutely no other reason, than showing people that you’re in a place, with someone or no one, with ‘bunny ears’ on your head…and even worse, we only use a filter because it makes us look better!

Abeiku Arthur: ‘MAN! Where are my bunny ears!!!!’

Me: ‘Ugh! Are we really gonna do Autumn Leaves now…!!’

(He’s doing really well right now. I mean, from Interviews with ‘The Script’ and the guy who sings the ‘She my Bestie, Bestie, she may Bestie’ song 🙂 , dashed with Gucci, Prada, Vogue writers, and Fashion week galore. He could’ve done a lot worse or himself. Lol.)

Abeiku Arthur: ‘And you’re the girl that’s managed to turn the story of her life into big bucks.’

Me: ‘As if you’ve parked in a loading bay.’

Life was great! All was great! I felt really positive all weekend. It was bliss.

The rest of my time was filled with family and baby love. I took the kids out. We had the best time of merriment. We bought toys, played out. We just swirled in Wunna land love. Our brunch of choice was at Patisserie Valerie in Doncaster and simply because Junior need banana pancakes and Ruby needed poached eggs. (It is the only place that does both.)

We met up with my Mum and had the best family weekend ever. Family’s really important to me. Growing up we were always close and throughout my 20’s due to work, I lived away in LA for years and years and years…but we were still REALLY REALLY CLOSE. We tell each other everything. Were a really open family. It’s filled to the brim with loyalty and love. Almost anything goes….and I just feel really lucky to have them.

I mean even this morning, I had to have a business meeting with my mum before I set off to work and she just looked at me, beamed and said,

‘ I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t believe in you. I believe in you more than anyone…’

(And she’s not soft like that is my Mum. She’s real. She’s ‘tough love’…But she has a kitten soul. She’s a ‘tell it how it is,’ kinda gal. J I love her more than life.)

She teaches me how to be a GREAT Mum and that I am. I mean look at this…Over the weekend…Ruby finds graffiti on the wall that reads the letters ‘BT’

Ruby:  ‘Mum? What’s that??’

Me: ‘It’s just graffiti babe..’

Ruby: ‘It’s like Ted Baker, but backwards.’

YES! MY CHILD ROCKS! BOOYAH! ALL THE TROPHIES!

We ended up doing a quick dinner at ‘Ego’ and then just enjoying Bonfire night, as the skies were littered with bitty burst of colour and excitement. I love everything about driving through the streets on bonfire night. The skies celebrate your existence and the airs smells of a warm, burnt whisper. It soothes any fire sign with comfort.

Saturday night I slept like a baby…

Then Keiran text me, at the crack of dawn, to see if I could drop Junior off at 8.30 am on Sunday morning….

One day, when i’ve chimed my ultimate success bell…I’ll be able to enjoy those blissful ‘good times’ and those glorious moments of ‘lay in’ without being suddenly woken up by ‘life alarms.’ I mean, I hate nothing worse than ‘alarms.’ Be it metaphorical or literal. I can’t stand waking up every single morning to the *bleep bleep* of my phone. It’s bad for my soul and sort of ‘off starts’ my day, because it forces me to get  up against my will. Surely my body should wake whenever  it wants to?

The only alarm I ever adored, was when I slept over at Samuel’s apartment in London, (I was on the Paris Hilton Show with him, back in the day.) He’s gay and his ‘Wake up’ alarm song was the ‘Part of That World’ by ‘The Little Mermaid.’ J

Now, i’m a Sasserilla and i’m not remotely ‘Disney’ by any means, but let me tell you, TO THIS DAY, (and do note that I have  been woken up by MANY an alarm, all over the WORLD… in a zillion hotel suites, a bundle of odd people’s bedrooms, my own personal delicious bed sheets and homes across the mighty globe..) DO NOTE, THAT TO THIS DAY, that SONG has been THE BEST ALARM WAKE UP CALL, I have ever had the pleasure to rise to! You really should try it! It’s bliss!

2009 Throwback Convo: (After we had returned from an evening out with Paris at Jalouse.)

Me: ‘You actually have Ariel has your wake up alarm.’

Sam: ‘Yeah obvs! What do you have?’

Me: ‘Usually just some guy telling me he’s not looking for a serious relationship. Lol’