Book Tours, Diamonds & Slay Games

‘Right!! The first one out of you two to get a *rock* on it….wins!!!’

Two of my delicious little chick friends are dancing in the ‘let this be forever’ stage of their relationships. A stage that no guy really knows about. Yet all their chick friends hear about!

‘Fairytale Blond’ does love via a Disney text book, so she ofcourse a ‘year in,’ she would be helplessly  hoping for a bit of official Prince Charming commitment. New love….New House…New Diamond.

Mel…is my unconventional, sassy, ‘I’m getting married in red’ sex machine. You don’t fuck with Mel. She turns red with anger and then eats Jelly Babies to calm her sore vulva.

Now, she’s already discussed ‘lets do forever’ with her Gary (who I saw yesterday but couldn’t look in the eye because my imaginative mind kept physically picturing all the rampant sex that he had been having with her…in porn form. All he did was walk past me and say ‘Hi‘ and my head imagined him eating Mel out, so I had to run and hide. Hahahah! Code for: I just sat there staring and imagined it.)

‘I just can’t look him in the eye now that I’ve heard all these filthy stories.’

Anyway, whether they’ve discussed ‘forever’ or not…I’ve decided to spice up their lives a little, by forcing them to play the ‘ROCK ON IT’ game. A casual game, where I watch them both secretly *fight* it out to get a proper proposal…for kicks. Hustle Barbie could probably play this too, yet she wants to start a glamour modelling career and marry D’Acampo. And well Double B….Hahaha…the game would be tooo easy. Jordan and his ‘Jackson Five’ penis would marry her in a wink.

Mel: ‘Yeah, but we’ve already talked about…’

‘Nope, it doesn’t count, until you walk into this room… with the rock on it. 🙂 You walk in, you say nothing, you hold up your left hand up in the air and bling it.’

‘That’s fine. I’ll just tell Gary that I need to win and send him to the jewellers. Lol’

Fairytale Blond was quiet, with her heart all a flutter and then decided that Mel would win. Lol. (But she’ll play it strategically, as ‘Fairytale’ is not soft. She knows how to get what she wants.)

Mel: ‘What about you! You’d probably win this…!! Lol.’

Me: ‘Hahaha. Please. I have a hundred more months of sending nudes before that happens. LOL.’

So yeah…game on! Let’s see who wins! I’ll come back to this blog when one of them struts in with the ‘BLING HAND’ in the air. There’s nothing more fun than a ‘fucking up everyones love life’ game. 🙂

Life is great right now. I’ve a busy kitty and I’ve got my Friday feeling! Work is great! I’m juggling. But I’m gonna try and take so time off to focus. I’m not a ‘here, there and everywhere’ kinda gal. It may seem like that. But i’m the opposite to wishy washy. I’m driven and sharp, so I just need a moment, after yesterday’s delicious ‘early night’ to bundle myself together and chill. Calm mind, Great results.

I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again…EVERYTHING IN THE FUTURE WILL BE SOCIAL. So all of you hoping to smash the big time ‘Dollar, Dollar, Fame Ball’ with a boobie bounce of victory….KNOW that you need to meander your career or lives down a Social Media path. If you don’t start it now…you’ll get left watching everyone else succeed.

I started my blog 10 years ago. I didn’t even know why? Five years in…nobody knew why I bothered doing it…But I at that point understood where everything was headed ‘socially’….A couple years after that….EVERYONE’S A BLOGGER OR A VLOGGER and it was in that moment where I accidentally smashed it, because all those previous years of blogging both honed my craft, built an audience (which is what you need) and made my STATS AMAZEBALLS!

And yes, it’s harder to start a blog/vlog now…as your competition is much much greater. Yet, if you don’t try and you wish to partake in a career of that fashion….you’re stupid. In years to come, no one will be watching tv…your shows will be online…Glamour Models are now Instagram Models. She’s now not a beautician, she’s a Beauty Blogger. You have Business Men starting everyday vlogs. Secret Footballers writing daily diary blogs. My inbox is literally RAMMED with the most amazing people or brands who are wanting to appear on this blog, which is literally just the story of my life. So yeah, blogging and vlogging are two different things. Find out what you’re stronger at and go for it.

Anyway, away from that! I’ve been doing shoots. This morning, I’m excited to see some of the new pics that Claire Pritchard has shot for me, for her Fallen Angels Brand. I can’t wait to show you them, and you will be seeing them shortly, as I tease your little tinglers, with a slow release of online Wunna ‘look at me.’ Claire is one of the most amazing photographers, so I can WAIT shoot with her again shortly…as we have a Playboy/Kitchen shoot to do…this time i’m taking Prosecco. I love her so much. So yes, if YOU wish to be a Fallen Angel please shimmie on down to ..

clarepritchardphotograpnhy.com

The pics will be on my blog over the weekend.

I have a book out this year. It is the relaunch of ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss,’ yet i’m rewriting it, it’s being rebranded and ofcourse shot for again. I love a shoot. It now will be called ‘Dear Diary…’ and it’s taking you back to Volume 1 of my life…So it’s Chrissie Wunna (the naughty years. 😛 ) It’s a silly, but sexy bit of ‘all out there’ book. I’m sorting it all out now…and i’ll also be going on a signing tour, so you can get to meet me, have a chitter and well…if i’m being honest…just buy the flipping book. Hahahaha!

The eyelash line is also relauched at Christmas and I have a cheeky little secret that will popping up soon. (NO. IT’S NOT A BABY! LOL)

Ruby slept in my bed last night, as she does when Junior’s at his Daddy’s. I watch her when she sleeps and can’t believe how beautiful she is. We’ve come a long way. I’ve worked so hard and this is the first time in my life where I feel like i’m actually smashing it for them both. She’s six and waited until I had gone to sleep, just so she could sneak out of bed and stay up all night playing pretend pool parties.

‘What? I pretended to be asleep, so YOU would go to sleep and so I could get up and pretend Justin Bieber was at my pool party! I thought you said that we only live once!’

Ruby IS a terrifying MINI version of me.

Although, i’m celebrating a THANK FUCK it’s FRIDAY thing. Saturday i’m headed to London to meet with a Mr Kenworthy, in regards to a new project that i’m hoping to tinker with. Which reminds me, I need to finish off those questions. I’m trying to fit everything in, in blips. It’s not easy….sober. 🙂

But nonetheless, I can’t wait for the meeting and hopefully i’ll saunter out of it with a new business *notch* on my brand cycle..

Work hard. Get what’s yours. YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN. If you do it fucking well!

Take a shortcut…you’ll get cut short. Half ass it…you get a calm stream instead of a gushing river. Have a fall back plan? YOU’LL FLIPPING FALL BACK ON IT.

 

 

 

 

 

Life, Sass and Naughty D’acampo…

I’m plate spinning and doing it sassy! Lots going on and yeah it can feel shit when you’re exhausted, but i’m lucky…and i’m happy because dolls…I got this ‘thang’ down now. One day…plate spinning won’t be as difficult 🙂 and when that day comes, I’m gonna kick off my sassy red heels, delicately pour myself a glamourous Aqua Riva Tequila (the purest tequila in the land..so pure that Coco Rocos actually TOLD ME whilst perched at a bar… and she created it, that it is the only tequila in the world that will not give you a hangover, because of it’s purity.The word ‘pure’ gives me a rash because it reminds me of virgins and GOD…yet, luckily when you shove Tequila on the end of it, it sort of becomes sexy. THANK FUCK.)

But yeah…I’m kicking off kitten heels and drinking pure TEQUILA and all that shit whilst I hold up my ‘Success Trophy’ and Google a Wunna Headline that reads that i’m worth ZILLIONS. 🙂

Anyway, I’ve been working hard…so hard that I passed out without realizing last night, in my full face, cuddling Baby Junior, as he clutched a boob after a burger. I need a Wunna office…a pink one with chandeliers…therefore I won’t have to dart across lands continuously…be a mother, a starlet, a worker and a champion all at once. I can sexily beckon people into my world and slide them a Prosecco as we talk creatively. I’ve noticed that i’m SUPER GREAT at creatively coming up with ways to market brands for other people…yet when it comes to me…I need someone to take that FABULOUS shit over.

I have THE BEST chick friends and the reason why I do is because the other day…well i knew already…but the other day I realized how ‘there for each other’ we are. We literally tell each other everything, EVERY DAY…300 days of the year…and let’s say, there was a moment the other day, where I asked for help because I needed them more than ever..and just like the Sassy Army of glamourousity that they are…and we’re all so open with each other…you should be jealous of my chick army…with a snap of their fingers,  a natter and a wink…it was sorted….I’d tell you what it was…but i’d get into trouble… so there. 🙂 I LOVE YOU GIRLS! They’re on my journey to ‘stardom’ with me, as weirdly it’s kinda only happened since they’ve come into my life…so they’ve watched everything develop, unfold and occur….right before their very eyes…and even though we all have very different lives and priorities…these girls have become my best friends.

YOU NEED AN ARMY LIKE THAT! One day, I’ll rope them all into working for me….We’ll wear heels and drink cocktails, Mel will scowl at people and Rachel with organise things in her headset.

(Our last conversation was about the cup size of our bra’s. Poor Webbo ..the guy in the office…had to sit through it and what Fairytale do a ‘I’m going to Monte Carlo‘ fashion show. She also said that she was going to have a sex toy party in her house and Mel switched it to a ‘candle party’ because she has too many toys. Lol)

‘Wow, this is role reversals…Fairytale is strutting about in red heels in her new house and wants a sex toy party and saucy Mel wants to buy candles…’

(The world must obviously be ending…grab yourself a life boat…it’s some kind of weird freaky life switch…. AND THERE’S NO GIN… Maybe i’ll switch with some goody shoed, quiet………..EWWWWWWWWW DULL….I can’t even type it.)

BUT WHAT THE FUCK! I HUNG OUT WITH GINO D’ACAMPO!

 

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Right, incase you all didn’t know, I am a huge fan of the Gino DAcampo restuarant chain. I wine and dine and chill there a lot. I went to the one in Leeds when it first opened, I loved it SO much that I wrote a blog about it…that blog was read by EVERYONE…to the point where it got sent around the staff the Head offices…you get the picture…everyone everywhere…(and I found it really funny, as it was sweary, cheeky and fun. It was authentic…it was very ME.) Long story short, I now have a Black Card for the chain and I’m a giant glamourous cheerleader for the brand… Simples. 😉

Tuesday….at Sheffield City Hall, I went to be part of Gino’s Live Show. I KNOW!!! As if!! I actally got lost on the way there and his perfect gentleman named Paul, who runs a record label, in his banana coloured shoes found me looking bewilidered and with a ..

‘Are you lost?’

Said,

‘I’m going passed that way, I’ll walk you there…’

Awww! How sweet! In that moment I was in love with Paul and his banana shoes. Kindness is sexy. He walked me all the way to the entrance…

‘I don’t know where the Stage Door is, but that’s the main entrance…What’s you blog?’

‘Chrissiewunna.com…Thank you so much. You’re my hero.’

And off he tinkered to do his own version of life! WHAT A LOVELY GUY! I need to bump into him again.

Anyway…I got to Gino…after winding through football hooligans and lines of people waiting outside City Hall to get a peek of the Italian Stallion. I was at and doing GINO LIVE.

If you didn’t know he’s currently on tour…and well…what a better way to promote a restaurant right, 😉 as he opens one shortly in every single place that hes touring! I love it! 😉

BUT WHAT A NIGHT! IT WAS SURREAL. The night was so great that I haven’t even absorbed it all in order to deliver it to you effectively! So without telling you everything…I’ll tell you bits. The rest will probably come out in other blogs, as I remember, as it is almost as if it wasn’t even real. As if i did Gino Live!

THAT GUY IS A STAR and I find him really inspirational. (The ‘Big Dude’ up above keeps plonking really inspirational people in my path right now..I have no clue why, but they’re circling me. Lol)

Anyway, I’m dead lucky, so before all the show started at 8pm I was with him all ‘behind the scenes’ backstage. We were on a stage and as I stepped forward to greet him with a…

‘It’s so lovely to meet you…’

He paused, looked at me with a warm serenity…and with smile and with gentle yet very direct eye contact, which means he’s pretty confident, shook my hand like he had known me for 100 years, there was sort of a ‘Daddy Vibe’ to him./a family Italiam warmth…and with a cuddle and pose for pictures  he said..

‘No…it’s really great to meet YOU…’

So, the show itself was wild and fun, tongue in cheek, filled to the brim with happy faces, there was madness, life, rudeness, comedy, laughter, love and an entire theatre packed to the brim with an energy that you couldn’t even buy. It was filled with SOUL. The place was wild yet so intimate.He created a bubble, an intimacy, that drew you into him like you were his best friend and not a fan, sat in a theatre. I watched everyone’s face, as I scanned the room. He even let any member of audience ask him any question throughout the whole show.

He’s a cheeky, naughty, sassy, sexy, tell it how it is, sweary, fun loving Italian show man. WHAT COULD BE BETTER. But he’s so down to earth and warm, get’s away with murder…I mean fuck, he fake snogged a granny, told one guy he was shit because he was ginger and would never get laid, said he’d eaten a ‘lot of fish’ in his time’ and laughed about it all the way…He pretend kissed girls because he ‘could,’ smashed open pasta on people’s bottoms, drank wine called ‘CUNTO’ and sang songs about how how much he loved his Mother. Lol.

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It was the most witty and entertaining time ever…Yet with all this…I told you there was a warmth, an appreciation for the people that showed up to watch his show, he was GENUINELY grateful, he told me…and with soul in his heart and a twinkle in his eyes…he gushed about how much he loved his wife…

‘I’ve been married to her for fifteen years now…She’s amazing. I couldn’t be with another woman, because no other woman would marry someone like me. She’s the most patient and loving woman in the world…We understand my role and she understands her role in our relationship…and that’s why it works…I love her.. If I was her i would ditched me 20 years ago.’

Swoon! I want a dude to say that about ME! Even if they don’t mean it. Say it, to me NOW! Say it! Say it!

Anyway, I’m in a rush because i’ve got to head to work…and i’m sat in my bra and no pants writing this on my bed…and i have Ruby to get sorted for school…

You should be inspired by Gino because he’s a guy that hasn’t had it easy, yet fucked that with a ‘Yeeehaa’ and made something of himself. He’s worth millions now, after being a 21 year old waiter who went around breaking into people’s houses. It changed his life…because he pulled himself together DID IT the right way! I love that! Everyone needs a story.

But he’s some Gino Trivia, that I found out before the show…

His real middle name is actually ‘SHEFFIELD.’ His favourite number is 71. His favourite place in the world is Sardinia. The most famous person he has ever met is Luciano Pavarotti.. If he wasn’t a chef, he’d be a Dentist. The thought of being an accountant bores him…He doesn’t support any football team…he supports his wife and kids…He doesn’t love the French. He’s outspoken. He’s lovable.

He is someone that looks as though he has a lot more to achieve. He ambitious…he’s going for it…and even though he’s already on top of his game…he’s got so much more that he wants to trophy! He is the most authentic personal brand that I have ever met. No one is like this guy and he keeps it real…He’s got his niche DOWN, yet certainly knows what he’s doing. But he’ll go for it and that is what LIFE IS ABOUT. What makes him a great personal brand because he has LIVED. (Like Moi.) You can’t fuck with the bastards that have lived, as we can do personal branding like superstars. 🙂 We’re smeared in raw love, openess, charm and swinery.

Shit, i’ve got to dash…Tell you more about it later.

If you haven’t seen the show…You MUST! There’s still some tour dates left!

If you have a Gino’s near you…GET YOURSELF A PROSECCO THERE. It’s my favourite place in Leeds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Blog, Bartlett & The New Year

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So, we did it! We championed an entire 2016! Some of you have had a shit year! Some of you have had a great year! I guess it depends on how you look at things? But nonetheless, you survived it, lived it, loved and hopefully shimmied a bit closer to your ‘dreams come true.’

I’ve had a massive year of change. If i go back two years ago, 2014 was probably the worst year of my life that I had to prettily surf with a wink and a round of deep breaths. I couldn’t wait for it to be over, as if anything went wrong that year, it did. My work life, my love life, my home life…it all went to pot…and I could’ve taken that time and drowned myself in a rummy pity party (lol,) yet I didn’t, it made me strong, I laughed it off and I sort of ‘rose from the ashes’ as they say, ten times more dynamic.

Then in 2015, after being thrown into and spat out of an emotional rollercoaster, without my consent or being strapped in, I was determined to play it safe and live a more mundane ‘un..glittery’ existence, that wasn’t me. I dated a normal boring boy, with no goals, ambition, no adventure, or life experience. I looked after him…and i got bored quickly. Yet it was great because at the same time as him draining the ‘ooh laa’ out of me, as his insecurity had sort of got in the way of me furthering myself with my career, it helped me quickly realise what i actually wanted, what my purpose was and that I was ready. So i changed my world around, got happy, got rid of boy and again became 10 times more mighty. bI was on the right path, as i had bored myself SO silly, that i yearned for excitement and to make my mark. (Work was always good.)

Everything changed in 2016 and fast, as i was no longer hanging about. I stayed loyal to my goals, what i wanted, who i wanted to be and became productive. Work changed Lifestyle changed. Guys changed. I stayed firmly single all year. Everything was new, fresh and exciting. I had shimmied up that ladder a little bit more and then in October, it all changed again, as i made a little decision to go to The Leeds Lifestyle Awards. From that point on weirdly, the Wunna magic was ignited…and opportunity just seemed to keep domino falling infront of me. Instead of shying away, I took the up….(I still kept making weird boy decisions through the year)…But i finally pulled myself together, turned the focus away from that and CONCENTRATED on what I wanted, needed and what would make me happy. (Work was always good.)

Fresh opportunities came a tapping…and the blog set fire and went WILD. It had been read all over the world on every continent anyway, yet it SHOT OUT OF GLITTER CANON AND IT GOT CRAZY.

Everything changed and I was going from place to place, doing life, blogging about it and turning the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ name, into a brand… by accident. (Even though I kinda knew what i was doing. 😉 ) Within weeks, I was being labelled the ‘Real Life, Carrie Bradshaw,’ an inspiration, a Cyberlebrity, I was getting invited to some of the top new openings, events and places..for the largest companies, brands, be they restaurants, clubs, fashion labels…everything and just because they wanted to appear on this page! I became Verified on Twitter and everyone seemed to be listening to what i was saying. Meetings sort of confetti showered upon me and big agents, infact all sorts came a tapping at my kitten door, in order to try and represent me. (I didn’t go with any of them, as I didn’t feel the ‘fit’ was right. The ‘fit’ matters. Who you work alongside or trust to give your ‘brand’ to, collaborate with, or build an empire with…matters. It’s like dating, you wouldn’t just settle because you have nothing going on, if you don’t have to.)

Important people were tuning into my blog, more and more followers were peeking into Wunna land and people who I’M personally inspired by started to follow me or take a moment of their time to actually click on Chrissiewunna.com and read a blog. (AS IF!) I mean, to ME that was simply such a personal pinnacle. It made my eyes smile, filled my soul with gratitude and made me feel of ‘worth.’

All of this was going on…as I was going to work every single day, doing my day job, being a single Mum, loving all of that and getting on with life, happily. I mean, I work alongside the best people. I also have such a supportive family, that in that area, i cannot at all go wrong.

Towards the end of the year things busied up…and as I was working through the day, being a Mum after work and then working through the evening at events, with the help of my Mum and the Baby Daddies…more stuff changed, I made more connections, people wanted to help me and I began (which is where I am now) stamping my mark down that little harder. I mean GOSH, the absolutely FABULOUS time that I had at Gino D’Acampo’s new restaurant in Leeds, that stepped up my game a little. (I go back in January after the first successful visit. 🙂 I can’t wait!) But yes, I was being asked to just show up at venues and simply BLOG from them. I KNOW!!! WITH BOOZE!!! It’s a crazy kind of wonderful that is so humbling that I almost have to pinch myself to believe it. I’ve shimmied at every Christmas celebrity event. I blogged my version of them all. MY birthday with Lisa Appleton ended up all over the national press (because of Lisa’s Bum Lol,) and I started to get *papped* at places and then I got nominated for the UK Blog Awards…and in a week, i’ll find out if i made the shortlist. (I even made the UK Blog Awards Trend!! AS IF!!)

During this whole entire time, my sanctuary and my grounding force was always my work colleagues, my children and my moments alone of reflection away from the madness. (Like I went back to the office today and ‘The Mighty’ said that my blog reads like i’m a frilly Bimbo type, who’s all ‘wishy washy cocktails,’ when really i’m quite sensible, ambitious and together. It was her last day today at work for a while, as she is off to birth a human. We’ll miss her.)

BUT also towards the end of the year I really got into watching these truly inspiring Vlogs by Steven Bartlett, who created the whole ‘Social Chain’ company. Every night I watched one, (and I still do) to learn, to calm my mind in the evenings as I laid in bed and to feel empowered before I went to sleep.

I actually found his Vlog accidentally via ‘Eton Mess’ who I had stopped talking to, not because of any problems, as we’re still friends, but just because that’s what ‘life’ wanted. Anyway, he’d posted one of Bartlett’s Vlogs on his Facebook Wall, about ‘Negative People,’ and after watching it, I then posted one of his other Vlogs on MY OWN Facebook wall.

From that point on like he was some Life Wizard, I was hooked, because i felt so inspired, I could relate to everything he was saying…PLUS, there was just something about him…there is…isn’t there…There’s just something about that guy…

When I appeared at Gino’s for lunch (best place ever) doing the Restuarant blog with ‘House of Solo’ I used my last 1 percent of battery life, watching a Bartlett Vlog at the Prosecco bar. YES, during my own actual appearance. Lol. The next day when i wrote my blog and posted it everywhere like I do and I tagged Steven Bartlett into my Twitter Post. I didn’t think he’d read it/skim it, or care to be honest. But i tagged him in it anyway…and he read it..He even Tweeted me back thanking me for the mention in the blog and then thanked me for watching and supporting HIS Vlogs. AS IF!!! It literally made me BEAM! I would never have thought that that would’ve happened, but it did and it made me happy because I had emailed Social Chain a week and a half before and I hadn’t recieved a response.

So, I guess i’m saying that this year has been AMAZING and i hope yours has too! If it hasn’t, look forward or create better times. For me, it’s been the year where in which I rebooted, refound my passion, became productive and did what I loved. It’s been the year where appropriate or magical changes have been made in order to place all the right elements in their correct places for the next step. I don’t know whether I’VE done that or ‘The Gods’ have thrown me a bone. Lol.

What I did want to say was THANK YOU, as even though this is the diary of MY life, if it wasn’t for YOU, tuning in… when you can.. or when you care and returning back to ‘Wunna Land’ afterward, it really wouldn’t be where it’s at today.

I mean GOD, when it first started a decade ago in Hollywood and only 8 people read it a month….I didn’t have internet access (and the blog was still on Myspace) so I had to walk to The Beverly Center, in West Hollywood every day and write my blog from one of the display demo desktops at the Apple Mac store. Lol. They didn’t even stop me. I must’ve looked like a weirdo. I even did it at the Apple Stores in New York and in every hotel that provided free internet services…all over America. Lol. (People didn’t want me to blog from their venue then. 🙂 Ten years on…they’re begging me too.)

I remember being excited because 74 people had read my blog in ONE DAY. 🙂 Now, like I always tell you, tens and TENS OF THOUSANDS OF YOU *click* into Wunna Land, all over the world…On every single continent….In over 200 different countries…..and its translated into 40 different languages a day. (Haha…You know the spiel.)

But thank YOU for reading and following my life. It’s just my version of it and I hope yours is going just as well or at least the way you wish it to!

Thank you to everyone who has been a real life part of this year. I always say that my blog is like a written word, reality show, where real people, *pop* out of nowhere and become part of it all, as their real life path crosses with mine. If it was a written word, reality show, then I will honestly tell you that I HAVE NEVER EVER HAD A BETTER CAST, THAN THE CAST OF THIS YEAR!! Lol. THANK YOU. You rocked! (Even the ones that put me through shit. Lol.)

I don’t know what my 2017 has in store…I’ve read loads of tweets by others who all have ‘so many great things happening in 2017.’ 

I honestly have no clue what’s a coming? I just know that whatever life throws at me…I’m ready for it and i’m armed with a *wink.*

Hopefully i’ll BOSS IT and not drink too much gin.

I’ll leave you with this… (This was the first Steven Bartlett Vlog that I found posted on someone else’s Facebook wall…)

Happy 2017. Sail Well!

SENDING YOU ALL MY LOVE.

FUCKING HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Glitzy Trip To Gino’s

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‘I’m here! I’m parked in the same place as before.’

‘Cool…i’m walking down now.’

Got to his car and *swung* open the door, in my tiny thigh out, peeky boobed, dark gold wrap dress, draped in my GIANT ‘Little Mistress’ faux fur of absolute divinity and as I stepped my pretty kitty heels into the vehicle, the vehicle that would journey us to Gino D’Acampo’s new restaurant in Leeds,  I belly laughed out loud with an..

‘It totally looks like you’ve just picked up a hooker at noon! Hahaha.’ 

And there we were on our way to Gino’s.

When i say ‘We,’ I mean my good friend ‘Abeiku Arthur’ and I, who owns the delightful High Fashion magazine ‘House of Solo.’ It’s filled with articles and photos from London fashion week, top designers, exclusive five star brands, his shoots with supermodels in Milan,  the pics from the recent Victoria Secret show…all sorts. We’re good friends, we met at the Leeds Lifestyle Awards, we also just so happen to live in the exact same town and both of us have businesses/brands that are up and coming and ready to make impact.

He’s a hustler. We both are! And it’s so great to have a like minded business buddy, who just gets it and rolls with the punches, whilst cross questioning me to find out new ways of promotion, as right now i’m doing pretty well and getting invited to a great deal, yet at the same time beginning to get recognition for it. I’m having a good year. He himself, has just shot Tom Zanetti for the front cover of his Fashion Magazine. I think the shoot was Monday?

In the car he was telling me that Tom was FOUR HOURS LATE to the shoot because he had been out with Geordie Shore, ‘Scotty T’ all night, who is currently doing Panto in Leeds and his PR/Manager only told ‘House of Solo’ after the second late hour had passed. 🙂 When Zanetti showed up, he thought he was shooting for Metro. Lol. (HAHAHAH, totally makes me piss my glamourous frillies! I love that happened to him AND that he has to go through so much stress all the time. On the plus, once Tom did show up, he was lovely and chatty and apparently a great model.)

‘Yeah but was he a chav?’

‘Nooo. Not at all. You need to get to know him.’

We got to Gino D’Acampo’s ‘My Restuarant’ in Leeds and boy did we arrive!

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I’d been Tweeting about going all week, all day and I couldn’t be more excited! I love a bit of Gino D’Acampo, I adore the fact that we guys and dolls of Leeds can now delight in traditional family Italian food, dashed in glamour. Plus, ofcourse, you KNOW that you will find me at any place that boasts one of the most stylish Prosecco bars, with a side of cheeky ‘Hanky Panky’ cocktails, the freshest most delicious bar snacks (i’m a grazer) and ones that were cleverly served on tiny wooden boards, a cut of newspaper and with Italian charm!

From the moment I strutted in, there was a lively but relaxing, down to earth family, yet GQ style of  excitement swirling around the baby blue, clear glass entranced, two floored restaurant. This place has ONLY JUST OPENED, so it’s fresh onto the scene…and GOSH…I had so much fun yesterday, that i could’ve literally stayed there and guzzled chilled buckets of prosecco at the bar, ALL the way through to the early hours of the morning.

I mean, as soon as we tottered in, the service was impeccable and we were immediately given a card, which was a Restaurant bar tab, before being shown downstairs to the Member’s Prosecco bar to grab a fresh pour of ‘bubbles,’ before we sat down to lunch! (My prosecco glass was EVEN CHILLED and cosied over with a cold mist of ‘you’re here now, in luxury.’)

This place is by far, THE BEST PLACE IN LEEDS, to come for food, or even just drinks, be you on a date, a business meeting, with ‘The Girls,’ or ‘The Boys’ and even with the entire family. It literally caters for everyone, in a stylish, modern, ‘you want to be here and be seen’ way. Yet it’s sponged over with a glamourous version of Italian tradition.

Gino’s face is stamped on EVERYTHING! He is on the walls in black and white frames, pictured with every celeb known to mankind. His sexy little Italian face is EVEN on your table Olive Oil. The marketing (and I come from a marketing background) is phenomenal and i adore great marketing!

At 1pm we sat down to eat! I ordered the Cabonara. Which is my favourite Italian dish of all time and ‘The Big A’ (that’s what i’m deciding to call ‘House of Solo’ Abeiku Arthur now, as i can’t be arsed to type his name out every second, Lol) ordered the Spinach, Egg and Cheese Pizza.

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More prosecco was poured, a ceramic dish of walnuts with a silver nutcracker was served with it. Our meal came out at the EXACT RIGHT amount of time….Not too fast or not too slow. The exact right time, almost like they KNEW when we wished to eat.

I mean all the way through that time, both ‘The Big A’ and I were Tweeting, Selfie Taking, Facebooking, Instagraming…doing the whole ENTIRE works. There was so much excitement going on and we wanted you to see it all and experience our version of it, as we did it. There was a lot to take in, as i wanted you to ‘feel’ the place. It funny because normal, sane humans, would look at our table and find it totally bonkers. Yet to us, it was really normal. We’re both business minded, we both run little brands that we hope,  will one day be huge successes… and we BOTH understand that about each other and our friendship. I went for it. I was selfie taking and posting away. ‘The Big A’ was smashing his Social Media also, yet EVEN HE paused and said,

‘What have i got left? Oh yeah, I need to Instagram it.’ LOL

It’s fun because we turned our trip there into a Cyberland Circus of excitement, we had hundreds of people following our every move at Gino’s in Leeds. I tweeted and selfied away and the masses ‘Liked’ and Retweeted’ their favourite bits of our day. the restuarants notifications must have been crazy, as my own personal accounts were going nuts. They were shimming. (And that’s thanks to you! 🙂 ) Kinda made me feel proud. Kinda made me feel POWERFUL. Haha!

Anyway, we gobbled up our lunch and OH MY GOD, the food there is literally TO DIE FOR! You ALL need to go. My pasta was probably THE BEST PASTA, that I have had in years and I HAVE BEEN EVERYWHERE! But let me tell you, UNLIKE EVERYWHERE Gino’s Restaurant ISN’T *break the bank* PRICEY at all. It’s completely affordable for everyone. A dish for £9. I mean, gosh, where can you get food THAT GOOD, for that price these days, with that service?

Infact, I know places that are charging so much more for food that is FAR LESS delicious! Plus, Gino’s has those ‘little touches’ that make a big difference. I love the ‘little touches.’ As upstairs they sell Gino’s Cookbooks. Good sales tool. Yet great idea, as whatever you eat at the restaurant that day, whatever you’ve chosen from the menu, you can then buy the book on your way out and try and make it yourself at home! It’s sexy, it’s romantic, it’s fun! 😉 This restaurant will turn your ‘No Carbs before Marbs’ diet out of the fucking window and simply because the pasta is SO goddamn good!

Okay away from all that. We’d had a few drinks by now and as you know i love a tipple… or four hundred. Woohoo! I embrace a world of Prosecco dazzled fun, style and good company and you should to. Live a little! Enjoy it. Get lost in the magic. Swirl with it. Pour some more.

I mean, all ‘The Big A’ kept saying was,

‘She’s totally getting on it.’ Lol.

And i didn’t care! I’m a fun girl and well it’s MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!! Cut a sister some slack! If i’m gonna drink 200 Prosecco’s….i’m going to go for it with *can can* kicks. So There!

Plus, we’d Tweeted everything, pictured everything, posted everything, so we finally kicked back and I ordered in some cocktails for dessert. I love getting cocktails for dessert instead of pudding. It makes me smile. Keeps my heart warm.

I swung in with the most delightfully, full bodied, espresso martini (it had a sassy KICK) and House of Solo ‘Big A’ ordered the fruity tooty, mint leaved ‘Pineapple Express.’ Lol.

Oh! They were delicious and all that social media work, kinda took it out of us. It can get tiring. Lol. I mean, if you didn’t know anything that day, you knew that I was at Gino’s, in Leeds, with House of Solo Magazine.’

We then both realized (after cocktails) that I was happily trapped in the most stylishy comfy, baby blue room WITH THE SINGLE MOST ATTRACTIVE ITALIAN MEN. How did i not realize this! It was like some kind of shirted Handsome Italian Man… Heaven. Almost every single waiter and bartender (aside from a couple girls and maybe two Leeds Yorkshire boys) was a hot blooded, dark haired, tall, sexy, with the accent and everything, Italian MAN. LORD HAVE MERCY on my little SINGLE SOUL!

LADIES YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELVES DOWN THERE. It oozes sex appeal… EVERYWHERE. Your mouth with ‘Mmm’ with pasta, but your loins will burn with desire.

‘House of Solo’ (I’ve changed his name again) even looked around and with an approving ‘They know what they’re doing’ nod and grin, he agreed it’s literally a paradise for groups of ladies! You notice the sexy Italians straight away, yet you kinda only begin to appreciate them, in a slutty way… after an Espresso Martini. 🙂

The hair ‘kittened out’ a little, the boobs peeked through the dress and the the wrap, unwrapped itself to a ‘little freer.’ not because of the hot blooded Italians everywhere, 🙂  but simply because by now we felt so much at home at Gino’s, that we kinda didn’t want to leave…

So we didn’t.

We ordered in another round of cocktails and went back to the Prosecco bar, to free up some table space (as it was getting busier and busier as the day went on) and we chatted about life, work, business and people.

As the day progressed, more and more stylish beings started sauntering in. All very high fashion. All smart as can be. ‘The Big A’ had his eyes on each of them. (One of the ‘Stylish New Entrants’ came up to me and rubbed my faux fur, whilst looking me right in the eye with a ‘Is it chincilla?’ No…It’s ‘Little Mistress.’ Lol.)

More drinks were being ordered, more drinks we being poured. The bartenders were going around with divine tasting nibblets, on trendy wooden blocks. It was a great idea, as it encouraged those who didn’t book in to eat, to maybe consider dining the next time they visited. (Clever! Clever!)

We were laughing. We were joking. I was happily moaning because i always think that being a chick in business, especially a boobied, ‘bouji’ one…makes it difficult at times. As often Ill have to approach guys to work alongside me and well sometimes people don’t take you seriously, so you have to prove yourself EVEN MORE SO than others. OR they just fancy  you and they can’t get passed that bit, before they even listen to the fact that your brain might work also. 🙂

I’m an ambitious, smart, charming, yet feisty little shit and i intend to do well. I’m doing well. My history is pretty decent. So ‘House of Solo’ and I were pissing ourselves at my ramblings and then all of a sudden out of nowhere he notices a female bartender, Googles ‘Alexa Chung’ and immediately whispers at me with a..

‘That girl, the bartender. I need to shoot her. She looks just like Alexa Chung on the British Vogue Editorial, when she did that high fashion nude shoot. I need to tell her. I need to shoot her.’

‘Yeah, well go ahead. Sip that, get her details and ask if she’d want to do a shoot. Explain that you own a fashion magazine though.’

‘No i can’t why? It makes me sound…’

‘OH MY ABSOLUTE GOD! Don’t be SO STUPID. You cannot go up to a girl, tell her she looks like a stylish nude Vogue model and ask for her number, to do a shoot with you, you idiot! You have to tell her that you own the fucking magazine.’ 

But in he goes, with his charm and his Google Screenshot of Alexa Chung. LOL. (Why do guys not listen!!??!!)

‘Hey! *Beckons her over the bar* You look like this girl. She’s a model for Vogue. Do you know her?

‘No.’ (Hahaha…Sorry, i find that really funny.)

I think you could be a model. I’d like your number…’

Then I couldn’t bare the ‘so many mishaps‘ in his approach, so i butted in with a..

‘He owns a High Fashion magazine, It’s called House of Solo. He thinks you’d be a great model and he’d like to shoot you for the magazine.’ 

She beams an innocent smile of glee. Her eyes lit up. She had a sexy foreign accent. A warm one, not a harsh one. He continues the rest of the chat with the bartender and she writes down her number, so that they can schedule in a shoot date for the Spring Edition of his magazine! I know! Crazy stuff!

See! You never know who you’re going to meet!

Then he turns around and whilst laughing tells me off for butting in on his ‘approach!’ Hahaha!

‘You need to learn from the best.’

‘You need to learn from a girl who gets men coming up to her all the time, saying stuff like that! What? I was only helping. I got all PR on the situation and started taking over the convo for you, to make sure it went well. And it did! What? I can’t help it! It’s in my blood!’

The Yorkshire Bartender looked at me, after he realised his colleague has just got scouted. So I smiled and said,

‘Don’t worry. You can be in my blog. It’s much better than his shitty magazine.’ Hahaha!

We laughed it all off and ordered more drinks in. At this point, I looked down at my phone and I had a DM from a guy that I recently followed on Twitter, as I had come across his profile and The Noir Agency the other day. Just basic, ‘Hey’s! How are you’s!’

I love learning within my industry and I love learning about all these creative agencies that seem to be crossing my life path. I’d actually like to work alongside one. So i’ve been looking around and having a peeky. I saw this guys profile…and i followed him. He’s also quite handsome, so why not! I was telling ‘House of Solo about it all, as  he started sipping shandy at the bar.

Anyway, In case you didn’t know, every night i’ve got into watching these Vlogs  by Steven Barlett. I’ve been reading up about the whole Social Chain thing and i’ve been inspired, as i’m a creative soul and I enjoy their work, his work…all things of this nature. And i’m doing pretty well right now, aren’t I!

SO, in the middle of the absolute glamourous bustle now occurring at Gino’s ‘My Restaurant.’ A bustle that we all created together…I decide to go onto Twitter, at the Prosecco bar, with my drink and my boobs out dress and WATCH Steven Barlett’s latest Vlog. It flicks on. I can see him and his video being played. But i can’t ofcourse hear any of it, as the ambiance in Gino’s Bar is now filled with a  loud, yet comforting buzz of creative, fruitful, social, excitement. It was beautiful. I love the feel of that noise. It’s satisfying.

However, LET ME TELL YOU, the clever thing about his Vlog is that it absolutely ran subtitles. So i was able to sit in the middle of this beautiful Prosecco bar bustle and completely absorb the whole entire thing! I got to glamourously razzle my liver AND absorb knowledge.

I even used up my LAST ONE PERCENT OF BATTERY LIFE on watching Steven Barlett’s Vlog. I would NEVER give up my last one percent of battery life. And i know you’re never going to read this…But if you do…that’s how special you were in that moment. Lol. Phone died after that! (FUCKER.)

Then like the magic had happened…’House of Solo’ got all into this whole Noir Agency/Social Chain/Steven Barlett Vlog thing. (Copy cat.) He knew that he had lost my attention to something. He’s also a creative human. He knew that i had found something great that i was interested in and that’s shit when you’re drinking with someone isn’t it. Hahaha! I have no manners. But GREAT manners all at the same time. 🙂

He got hooked and started following everyone. I even told him that i had emailed The Social Chain last week and no one replied. He laughed and told me that they didn’t care about me. Lol.

‘Eww! DON’T KICK A GIRL WHEN SHE’S DOWN DUDE! HAHAH!’

(We’re still nestled at Gino’s Prosecco Bar at this point…and everyone is now staring at us.)

Then we started making these weird bets. So as I was Tweeting the fact that I was watching Barlett’s Vlog. ‘House of Solo’ decides to Tweet him for a meeting? What!!!! I guess, all’s fair in business and Prosecco. Hahaha!

So I predicted that Barlett would ‘like’ my comment (and he did)…as who wouldn’t, i’m inspired by the Vlogs and i usually watch them in bed for utter mind comfort. (That sounds creepy. Hahaha!) Anyway that day, I was watching it from Gino D’Acampo’s dazzling new venue, surrounded by baby blue, glass and joyous sophisticated bustle. Day had turned to night and we had accidentally been there for hours, without realizing. That’s when you know you’re having a good time and you’re in a place of wonder, that does not constrain you, or limit you to a schedule.

Anyway, I then told cocky ‘House of Solo’ that if he actually got a reply from Barlett…(thinking that he wouldn’t…and he didn’t) i’d kick him in the balls! Haha. I didn’t get to ‘knacker ball’ him.

Life was good! My pre birthday brunch was a marvel. I couldn’t have chosen a better place to just lunch, live and enjoy!

At the end of our time, we were given two magical gold coins…(Sounds like a fairytale.) With these coins and as you leave the restaurant, you are to go dip into a tiny, glamourous photo booth, which is equipped with a green screen and everything…and as a souvenir of your time spent at Gino’s, you can take the most fun photobooth selfies, with various hilarious backdrops to treasure forever!

Amazing right!

Here are mine!

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The most delicious new place for you to enjoy and I mean that sincerely, as we didn’t even want to leave! For crying out loud and you’ll only get this is you are from Pontefract….’House Of Solo’ loved his time so much that the words, ‘We should go to Biggies’ flew out of his mouth! HAHAHAHAAA.

We didn’t go to ‘Biggies.’ Instead we got dropped off to continue alternate life paths. Lord knows what he did? But i went home to cuddle up to my little Ruby and Junior. (I’ll be taking both of them to Gino’s in the New Year.)

You know, it’s one of the only places where you can feel both stylish, yet so comfortably at home all at the same time. And i mean ‘kick off you kitten heels & have a laugh’ at home.

A truly great find and what a wonderful way spend part of my giant birthday weekend! 🙂 I’m so glad that i’ve officially smeared my Wunna glitz on that place!

Wunna *hearts* Gino D’Acampo’s ‘My Restaurant’ Leeds!

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Husbands, Prosecco & London Business Men

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My birthday weekend has begun! Now, it’s not actually my birthday until Monday Dec 19th and i’ll turn thirty six. Yet since i’m off work and since life is pretty goddamn great, i might as well start early and embrace turning another year older with bells on my tinkers and tinkers of my…tits?

I’m currently blogging from The Prosecco Pit Stop in Doncaster. It’s a glamourous nibble and quick glass of ‘bubbles’ joint. It’s not only a ‘pop up’ in the Frenchgate Center, but it’s also one of my favoruite ‘pop ups’ going. I am here always. I mean, everyone adores a pit stop that serves a bit of bubbly, when you’re kitten heels are tired from shopping. This place is on of my absolute faves, so i couldn’t think of a more relaxing place. (Even though it is smack bang in the middle of lots of people traffic, open aired and where everyone can see me. 😉 )

I had a super Christmassy day at work yesterday. I’ve loved this year and although we’ve had our ups and downs, there’s been a bond. I mean, we’ve worked hard and any time you can sit in a work place and reflect over the year with laughter, wish you had wine and see how far you’ve grown, you know that you’re not only an amazing team, but you are also closer than you thought.

I got narked off, in a happy Christmassy manner, because everyone around me seemed to be headed for BIG CHANGES! ‘Double B’ (who cracks me up madly, she’s like a bubble of bimbo dipped in a giddy sasserilla. There’s no common sense running through her glitter bones, yet she is the most loving and hilarious human you will ever meet.) Anyway, ‘Double B’ is moving into her new posh house, with her boyfriend of 2 years. (She also wants to buy one of our colleagues HAM for Christmas because she remembers how much loves it. Lol. See! Her heart is in the right place. Yet, her sense of thought is absolutely and hilariously warped. Lol.) 

‘The Mighty’ is having an ENTIRE HUMAN. The human is living in her womb as we speak and is certainly not paying rent. That’s big things! But i’m excited for her, as being a Mum for the second time is always and i shouldn’t really say this…MORE rewarding, when you’ve been a working mum. I don’t know why? It just is!

‘My blog sends her to sleep’ Blondie, is headed for retirement. She’s one of those who can never retire because she has such a passion for what she does. (And goes to sleep after reading my blog. Lol.) But she has a giant long rest coming, a ‘holiday’ of retirement!

It kinda left ‘Hot Sarah’ and Myself just looking at one another all puzzled, with an orange material desk divider separating ourselves from one another.

‘THIS IS SHIT. YOU ALL HAVE STUFF TO BE EXCITED ABOUT IN THE NEW YEAR AND WE HAVE NOTHING!’

(I obviously find it hard to express myself. Lol.)

And everything that they had all began with ‘H.’

House, Human…Holiday.

So they decided amongst themselves that I would find a ‘HUSBAND’ AND ‘Hot Sarah’ would have ‘Heaps of Money.’

How come she got ‘Heaps of MONEY’ and i got ‘Husband.’ Lol. That’s fucked up! Hahaha.

I’ve lost hope when it comes to finding a husband. I don’t expect to and i’m happy…and i have all this new career stuff going on that i’m finding this ‘love thang’ hard. But i’m open to it. I just need to find the correct ‘fit.’ (That sounds rude. 🙂 )

The Retiring blond told me that what i might believe a husband IS…ISN’T and although i never listen, I always listen to those who are older and wiser. So i’ll agree. Yet, i think different humans, go through different circumstances and in the end, wish for different things. I would like a partner that i build an empire with, as i’m an ambitious and creative girl.They need to be also. I think i’d enjoy it more if they were similar to that motif. Lol. I don’t expect to find a ‘best friend’ like she did in her lovely husband who she met when she was 17. She’s now sixty something. I KNOW! AMAZING! 

I won’t have that. I’ll not find that. But i’ll find love in a different way. That’s the great thing about love…it’s always different, not always pure, but always an adventure for me. I’d like to find the man of my dreams, a best friend, my Mr.Right. I’m just a difficult human to date. But i have boobs. 🙂 (Please form a queue.)

I have lots going on over the next few days, filled with birthday, family, friends, cocktails, nights and lunches out. I’m all over. I’m doing Doncaster, Pontefract, Leeds and Manchester. I’m celebrating my world and my ‘another year older’ like a champion and I can’t wait!

I’m at Gino D’Acampo’s new restuarant tomorrow afternoon for lunch! I have all sorts going on from that point, so it’s a good time to come and be part of chrissiewunna.com, as i’ll be drunk for most of it….Meaning that i’ll be all chatty and loving and you’ll end up on this blog. So come cross life paths. Be a part of my world. The written word reality show of drama.

Right now, i’m off to Cosmo’s with Ruby for lunch and I’ve just recieved a Whatsapp message from ‘London Business Man’ wishing me a Happy Birthday and reading,

‘Kinda miss you…just saying. xxx’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Be A Dick & Life Choices

 

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I’ve had a couple of gin and tonics so were gonna have to watch it and you’re gonna have to bare with me. 🙂 I’ve put ‘blog writing’ off all evening, as i’ve been playing with Rubes and just neglecting the art of expression via written word long after she had decided to get some kip.

In my mind it’s Christmas time now and yes we all have a ton of work. I’ve been at work all day. But come on now, let’s have a bit of fun, or decent old chilled time, where we can kick off our kitten heels and just pour ourselves an after work tipple to relax and celebrate the year!

I have a birthday in FIVE DAYS, so i have all the excuses in the world to ‘tick box’ a sack load of fun. I mean, God, life is about filling ya cup, as you can’t pour from an empty one! So let’s enjoy it, whilst we still can. (I’ve just read this scary quote that states that if we as humans slept or 8 hours per day and we live to be sixty….we will have slept for 20 years of our lives. It apparently gives us a reason to get up the first time our alarm goes off in the morning? I don’t count in any of this, as being a single mum, with full time work, if i EVER slept for 8 hours on ANY DAY, it would be a blessing.)

I’ve had a decent time today as i’ve worked hard and enjoyed banter. Apparently my blog is so good that it SENDS PEOPLE TO SLEEP! Lol.

‘Chrissie, I love reading your blog and hate it when you don’t write one, as i read it before i go to bed and it sends me to sleep!’

Hahaha! I love it! Be it comforting or boring. Or be you sixteen or sixty….I adore that you have clicked into a bit of Wunna land, before you’ve gone to ‘n’nights.’ Makes me smile! My mum also reads my blog every night before she goes to bed and then screams at me the next morning if i’ve been a dick. 🙂 It’s all about how you’ve raised your kids. 😉 LOL.)

My friend ‘The Mighty’ is about to give birth in the coming months and is preferring to surround herself with fun ‘drink too much’ friends, rather than nice stalkery ones, who we don’t know are actual normal humans or Guardian Angels? I believe in Guardian Angel pop ups. So i’m going with that. Plus, it makes more story more magical than just saying ‘stalker.’

For some reason it made me flash back to a time when a gay guy, stopped me in a club, (I think it was Pre Bar in London) and wanted to name his cat ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ in my honour. Instead he went with ‘Jackonory’..and told me this on the dance floor, as Kylie played in the background. (I had just come off the telly, trying to be best friends with Paris Hilton, at the time.) I mean, JACK…A…FUCKING …NORY! When does that ever *trump* naming your kitten ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ (That was the night Mark Byron, who’s now a Big Brother Telly Presenting Star, asked me to hide his rent money cash in my knickers so he didn’t spend it all on booze. Lol. At that time he used to give out flyers to make people venture into clubs. Now…he’s ‘Off the telly’ Mark and currently doing Panto in Liverpool, dressed as a Genie.)

Today’s ‘Bone to pick’ is this. I had some blogger chick, slag off my ‘Nominated for a UK Blog Award’ moment because it’s apparently ‘not a popularity contest and should be purely based on content.’ (She’s nominated also.)

HANG ON A SECOND MISSY! LET’S JUST TAKE THAT ‘PRINCESS’ IN YOU AND PIPE IT DOWN A NOTCH.

Firstly, you should concentrate on your own bit of cyberland and not chirp off at mine. This space ain’t rented it’s bought and it’s blooming right now, so enjoy it doll face and pour yourself a cocktail.

Secondly…BEFORE I WAS ANYTHING…I was a blogger. I wrote a blog daily in LA for years and have done for the last 10 years. EVERY DAY and when not a single soul read it! I wrote a diary for years before that, before my life story ever became ‘live.’ I wrote and documented my on goings, before ‘having a blog’ and being social media savvy was popular and that was before i became a model…a party queen Lol….before i accidentally moved back to the UK and got on the TV with Paris Hilton…before I had a book out….before i created a range for Ann Summers on the telly….before, before…before it all.

Now, i’m not stupid…All that did make my blog more popular. Yet if anything, i’ve always simply documented my life, the good bits, with the bad. You’ve heard my heart break, you’ve seen me victory dance,  you’ve listened to my make ups, breakups, watched births, my life journey, raw pain and laughter. I’ve told the story of it all. Like God, that moment when my husband left me and he did it by moving all his stuff out of the home when i was out. I came home with my 2 year old daughter and a newborn…and he was gone…All i got was a text. I told that story..and that had nothing to do with a world of limelight or a popularity contest. That was life.

Yet there have been times when i’ve partied with Leonardo Di Caprio and gone out on dates Matt Dillion and been shut in a house with Paris Hilton for a month straight as ITV2 filmed every waking moment of fun for public entertainment.

Just the same as the story above it…It was all still part of my life.

So i’m not  reality star turned blogger. I’m a writer. And i might have been ace enough to make the UK Blog Awards ‘Trend’ on Twitter. But i can’t help being that awesome. 🙂 AND that DOESN’T MEAN THE CONTENT ON MY BLOG IS SHITE.

I’ve said it once and i’ll say it again…BILLIONS OF PEOPLE are doing life, right now as we speak…I’ve simply chosen to document my version of it…Everyone’s life is important. We’re all in it together. Just these little soul dots, chilling on a giant Earth ball as we orbit the sun.

So whilst i’m being hailed as the ‘Real life Carrie Bradshaw,’ YOU are being gummy stickered with a sexy ‘Hater’ slap badge.

Okay, i’ve sipped more gin and tonic. I’m better now!

I will tell you that this Saturday, ‘House of Solo’ Mag owner Arthur and I will be headed for lunch at Gino D’Acampos new joint ‘My Restaurant’ in Leeds. I’m so excited as i’ve heard great things about it and…well i know that Gino was there himself, last night, cooking dinner for everyone! Arthur at ‘House of Solo’ and I have ended up being ace buddies. We’re both passionate about our goals, where we want to be and our own bit of business. He shot Tom Zanetti the other night for the front cover of his mag. I met Tom at the Leeds Lifestyle Awards, as he gave out the award for ‘Best Club.’ I’m definitely going to make him my new Leeds ‘hang out’ mate. As i’m sure (even though i’m doing Manchester a lot of recent) that all three of us going to help put Leeds on the map! 🙂

See! Northerners are known for having a good time. Yet we can also do business quite well to. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Magical Christmas, Tequila Dance Banter

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Busy day! But worth it!I had a MOUNTAIN of work to shimmie through and not even in nipple tassles! I was absolutely shattered through most of it, as Ruby had decided to wake up every 3 hours all night, incase Santa was coming. Yippeee! It’s the beauty that all working Mums have to endure. Lol. Yet, I got on with it….and with a coffee spritzed *wink.* Working your day job and building your own personal empire, as a single, working Mum is so hard it’s hilarious. 🙂 However, being the glitzy bit of champion that i am, I reckon things are only as hard as you make them. Winners find solutions and all that jazz. I will also say that winners don’t talk shit either. 🙂 I hate it when i encounter ‘flakey’ people, who say they’re gonna do something but don’t. The little things don’t bother me. It’s just the big things that can make a difference. However, i’m not like that in any way. So, that’s something to do a ‘tequila dance’ for! If i can’t do something, i’ll just tell you and if i can…I WILL SMASH IT.

That came out of nowhere. But only because i keep having these flashbacks of my Hollywood times, where we (my friends and I)  all needed help and couldn’t find it ANYWHERE. Some people banked their dreams on people’s words, instead of looking for actions. I was one of them. Well hen i was a young 20 something anyhow…Yet West Hollywood and pavement pounding in a world of Entertainment, going from audition to audition, toughened me up and i caught on fast. Later on in life, as i grew up and did a it better, it reminded me to never let anyone down. OR to at least be honest when it came to my capabilities. *The gin and tonic is now getting poured.*

Anyway, away from that i’m actually feeling pretty good! It’s my birthday in EXACTLY SIX DAYS. I’ll be turning thirty six, which is hideous on all levels, but hilarious all at the same time. I don’t know whether i want a loud one or a quiet one. But i’ll celebrate the day i was born, as why not!!! If you can’t celebrate your birthday what can you celebrate. People always forget to celebrate who they are, the day they were born and the days like that that matter. But we’ll fricking celebrate everything else won’t we?

I’m excited for Christmas, as when you’re older, having kids makes Christmas time magical again. I get to relive the magic with Ruby and Junior almost every day through December and it’s such a marvel to them, that it makes every inch of my soul smile. I’m radiating this magical glow of giggly happiness. Just seeing their excitement for make believe and magic is wonderful. Its what dreams are made of.

Infact, I don’t know how any adult, without kids, celebrates Christmas? Drinks with friends, mistletoe kisses with the boyfriend? Family dinners with the in laws? It’s just not as magical is it? I mean what do you do, other than drink wine and mull around by yourself in a party hat with ‘Spice World’ on in the background.

But nonetheless, i really do hope you all have the most magical Christmas ever, regardless as to what you do? Or who you’re with? Or how you choose to spend it! As long as you’re doing what you want and you’re happy with the whole shabam, then surely it’s mulled wine flavoured  *can can* kicks all around.

Saying that, as much i as I adore Christmas, I won’t lie, there was a part of me today that wished that I could *blink* and find myself floating around, in a neon inflatable ring, with my sunglasses on, the sun blazing down on my little kitty tan and with an eye watering, fruity umbrella drink in my hand and a handsome pool boy galloping around me asking me if i needed a cocktail top up.

I only needed it for a *blink* which means i must be happy really. So what if it chucked it down in Pontefract today. We have friend egg Haribo Chistmas lights above us and if that doesn’t make life perfect, then i don’t know what does! 🙂 I hate it when it rains on me when i have to go to Greggs to buy a pasty. Nothing is shitter, than doing that scrunched up run, with your head down and a a scowl face on…whilst holding a steak bake.

Infact, no, i’m wrong…DOING A STRETCHY ARMED WEE ON A PUBLIC LOO, TO KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED is shitter. 🙂 That’s really put me off Tiger Tiger hasn’t it! Lol. I’m going to Gino D’Acampo’s new Leeds restaurant next week, to give it a try and swirl out a blog. They’re excited for me to go, which makes it all even more ‘giddy’ for me. I like it when people or venues are excited for me to show up. i get all juiced about it, as it turns it into an adventure for me.

I bet they have PERFECT LOCKS on their toilet doors there! 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boy Banter, Beef and Nightmares?

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‘If two vegetarians were fighting….would we still call it a beef?’

And that set the tone for my entire Sunday! Lol.

I don’t know why I am so humoured by something that my eyes chose to focus on, as they woke up to Sunday morning, with Junior glued onto my front like a little Burmese ‘Love Mummy’ slug. My sense of humour WILL get better. Well, let’s hope so,  for your Goddamn sake. *Tip here.* The only other thing i’ve found funny before that is Gino D’acampo. Who used to be my celeb crush. It was dark and ‘Eton Mess and I’ were sat on sofa’s as Celeb Juice was running it’s wildness on the telly box. I think he was on some gyrating chair, (and I do mean Gino D’acampo and not ‘Eton Mess’ lol as surely that would be a bit too kinky,wouldn’t it 🙂 ) explaining what a ’71’ sex position was. If you didn’t know, it’s Gino having his willy in you, two fingers up your bum and whilst he’s drinking a glass of wine. Hahaha. I just remember looking at ‘Eton Mess’ pissing myself and saying,

‘See! How can you not fancy him! I’d love to have a husband as funny as that.’

I have a soft spot for boy banter. I find it really funny. Well…If it’s done well. I’m a pretty easy going girl, so you an come at with all your ‘funnies’ and more often than not, i’ll find it hilarious. Unless, you’re a dickhead…then i’ll just think you’re a dickhead. 🙂

Annnnyway! I’m sorry i haven’t been smashing out a blog every single day. But lots has been happening and i’ve kinda just got swept in it. I’ve been knocked for six.

There have been moments where i have been non stop working, moments where i have been travelling, moments where i have been ILL, don’t listen to anyone THE FLU IS GOING TO GET YOU and YOU WILL talk like a Drag Queen for days until your chest is better. There have been moments of fun. Moments of tiredness. Moments of happiness. Moments of stress. Moments of gossip. Moments of fun. Moments of peace. Moments of shock. Moments where i forgot to appreciate life. Moments where i remembered to love it. Moments where remote controls got the better of me and had to listen to really sad love songs on repeat simply because i didn’t know how to switch them over. Moments where in which i’ve found myself recovering from being ill, yet waking up to being stood stuck on the side of a road in a giant white faux fur and skirt, with mild hand luggage, having to frantically call for a taxi to come and pick me up, from someone else’s phone, as mine had decided to not work, when i needed it to and due to all the cars in the world breaking down, so that I could dash to work on time, in a moment of traffic panic. I don’t like panic and i don’t like letting people down. So it was an awful combination for me. Lol. But i got there… on time. Just. (Don’t have ‘get well’ massages with relatives. It’s stressful and creepy.)

However, like i said, i’m back now. Let’s get this blog shit down. I have lots to tell you. I’m back on track, my game and with a wink in my wiggle. I’m feeling productive and dare i say ‘looovely.’ AND i’ve just heard the most incredible story about a Goth who went to Cuba 🙂 and ruined everyone’s life by doing a poo in the sea, being maungey, lazy, moaney, not fun and dashing it all off with being tight. Hahahahaha.

This sums it up…when one of the most tolerant people i know…other than myself…and when i say tolerant, i mean a being who can put up with silliness, fun and shocking stories with a shrug and because they are, by nature quite fun. They’ve seen it all. Well, when they’ve had enough of you, to the point that they actually feel the need to turn around and say ‘Look you need to book a flight and FUCK OFF HOME,’ then you know you’ve been a massive goddamn ‘Black Widow’ of a pain. HAHAHA.

Girls need to stop being such high maintenance  lunatics. And it’s sometimes weird as the ones that you think would be all quiet and nice, all calm and easy going  can end up being the absolute WORST NIGHTMARES and the ones (like moi) who people wrongly THINK are going to be all high maintenance, bossy, unfun, controlling and evil…can sometimes be the most lovely, chilled life partners. Plus, I don’t poo in seas in Cuba! HAHAHA! DYING!