30 Something Sexiness….

Woke up to the most beautiful message from one of my old LA guy friends ‘Raffi,’ who I adore more than anything, because he’s always filled with Wunna Love. He produces music and when I was a mid 20 something year old girl, in West Hollywood, we recorded a couple tracks together, that his brother had whammed up.

His brother was working with the likes of Britney Spears, N’sync, R.Kelly, Michael Jackson…His grandfather, worked with Elvis. So, let’s just say producing beats runs through his soul. He’s a ‘brother,’ and he’s swag.

But all that to one side…We had the most amazing friendship. We’d hang out all the time. He’d come around to my condo, after being at the studio and we’d just sit in his car, chill and chatter, under the LA night stars. It was great!

When he was a young 20 something he looked at me and said,

‘I’d be so happy, if I woke up to you every morning…But at fifty, you’d probably piss me off. Haha.’ 

Then he drank a Red bull, it gave him wings and he drove over my wheely bins, en route to drop by ‘Neyo’s. (Yeah…the ‘So sick of love songs’ Neyo.)

 Raffi’s always been such a good friend to me. In fact ALL of my LA friends are to this day, SO SO close to me. We tell each other how much we love one another, literally all day long and that’s because growing up…we went through SO, SO MUCH together, in one of the toughest towns emotionally, to try and make it in showbusiness.

This morning, I woke up to an insta DM from ‘Raffi’ after i posted the above picture…All he said was…

‘You are so beautiful.’

So 13 years on, and now on entirely different sides of the world, he is still so utterly lovely and goes out of his way to try and make a glamour puss smile. 🙂

(Thank you for that! I love you so dearly. May the night stars guide you bro.) 

Right. Okay…

I’m still filled with anxiety and panic and I have no clue why, really? I’m getting on with it though. I’m good at that. I’m doing it with a ‘100 watt’ smile and hoping it’s just hormones.

What am I terrified of?

This morning I posted the above pic, because I always thought that growing up a model and one that sold ‘sexiness‘….I always thought that I wouldn’t feel ‘sexy’ when I grew older.

The opposite has happened and at 37, I probably, right now, feel at my SEXIEST. It’s so crazy? I don’t know whether it’s because I’m more comfy in my own skin, or i’m just laid back with my natural ‘Va Voom.’ I’ve got nothing to prove now. I’m cool.

But again, my LA guy friends the other day, were saying that they hung out with me, as a young 20 something year old and back then they thought i was ‘Ooh laa…Ferocia.’

Yet now, almost 20 years on..(they fly in to visit me on occasion,) they’ll just look at me and say,

‘We still cannot believe how beautiful you are. It’s like you’re getting hotter and hotter.’ 

AWWW!!!

How nice is that!!!! Everyone needs to hear it. It’s positive and positive vibes are contagious. I’m so lucky to have such wonderful friends…Real friends. Real ‘life soldiers.’ Hopefully, that will put me in good stead for the future. Hopefully, you’ll take a moment today, at some point, just to tell someone that they’re beautiful.

It makes their day….

Everyone should embrace and adore their beauty. Both inner and out.

But y’know, there’s just something about being older, that FEELS SEXIER, than being young. I find, that, when you’re older your ‘SEXY’ comes from your soul, your life experience. It’s in your eyes. It’s your beauty. Your story.

Everyone has a story, even when you’re young. You just ‘own it‘ better when you’re grown.  When you’re really young, your ‘sexy,’ is still only pinned, glued and stuck on. It’s not real yet. Even in your 20’s, when you think you’re grown.

That’s what i’ve learnt through my 30’s. I’ve also realised that you mellow out, and grown emotionally. You become a wiser human and that alone is SEXY. 

(A young friend of mine sent me a message yesterday, and it put me off them, because… well he used a very young, 20 something year old term, to describe a group of people…in a derogatory fashion. He referred to them as ‘beggy’ and I don’t like that because I think it’s rude. I think it’s judgmental and something that a 30 something would never ever say..Lol. And I guess that’s that’s the difference, between being young and old.)

I’ve learnt so much about people and myself in this last 2 weeks. 

Anyway!!

All sorts has been happening to my friends. I have some finding their ‘bouji,’ and others clinking prosecco glasses. ‘Hustle Barbie’ (who’s Vegan) actually stole a PIG. A REAL PIG from a Butcher, because she didn’t want it to get slaughtered. Shenamed it ‘Elvis’ and it’s now in her house. Lol.

Everyone apparently loves the pig. Yet, I am not a piggy fan. I find their snouts intrusive. Lol. Yet, I admire her love and conquest. She’s filled with utter compassion.

Plus, I adore that she’s going to go out, get drunk, bring back a hot dude, forget she has a pig named ‘Elvis’ and suddenly remember he’s there, when he pops onto her sofa, mid ‘sexy time.’

If a pig came near me during sex, I would DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’d grab my boobies and RUN FOR THE HILLS…NAKED.

I am terrified of animals of the farmyard variety.

TERROR SCREECHES THROUGH MY SOUL.

But on the up, there’s also been new love. My gay friend Liam, (he’s just tinkered off ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel’ show on Channel 4.) Anyway, he recently broke up with his beau and has hit the dating scene with his heart on his sleeve and it’s good to see him happy. He called me before his last date, with a beautiful looking man. They met at ‘Velvet’ in Manchester, for the date and he saw him sat outside drinking a latte.

Me: ‘A latte!!!! On a date!!!!’

Liam: ‘I didn’t want it to be a slaggy date. We’ve  spoken loads & really like him. It’s a non drinking date.’

(I don’t do ‘non drinking’ dates. 🙂 I get so nervous. I need to drink.)

He called me before his date because he was a little nervous. But dates are kinda like that, aren’t they?

Liam: ‘I’ve dressed really casual. is that okay??’

I’m glad, that I was his ‘make me not nervous‘ call. I’m good in those moments.

But they had the most beautiful time. I actually saw a picture of his date, whilst on the train to MY OWN date in Manchester. He was ‘sizzle.’ Really handsome. Really well groomed.  They loved their time together. It was all chatter and leg strokes. Cuddles over calamari. It was a classy afternoon date. But then they had to rush off home, because ‘twinges’ and testosterone kept kicking in…If the date went on any longer….the pleasantries would’ve been X Rated.

I always think that chicks sometimes get offended when a guy wants to ‘sex you up’ on the first date. Yet, you shouldn’t. (I know, it makes you think that they only want sex.) Yet DO KNOW, that they can’t help it. If they fancy you, the WANT, WANT, WANT you. It’s how they’re wired and they don’t mean it offensively. Their willy pops up and that’s it. They go ‘boz eyed’ and need to ‘jab for goals.’

So you can IMAGINE, what it must be like if you’re two GUYS on a date…and you fancy one another!

Hahaha….

‘I’ll have that latte to GO, Bitch.’ 

 

 

 

 

Courage, Va Voom & New Dates…

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Me: ‘Just help me hate him…..’

(I’d screenshot a pic of a dude..Oh fuck it…’The Swirl’ and drawn a tacky, free hand, red love heart around his head, lol  and sent it to her…my bestie…via Snapchat. Haha. Now, I am very aware, that i’ve just made myself sound moderately creepy. Yet, I do it all the time, for kicks. It’s jokes and funny, so shut the **** UP. 🙂 Only she would understand! 😉 Not you!!! J )

Firmonnell: ‘That’s easy. He ignored your last two messages. Fuck him. He’s so selfish. He only cares about himself. He doesn’t love anyone, BUT himself. I love you. Now, get yourself to Liverpool and have the most amazing time on your ‘date’ thing.’

And just like that, as she waved the flag for all things love, friendship, truth and ‘Girl Code,’ my self respect and kitty power *whooshed* straight back through my system. I grew 10 feet tall, slipped on a spikey set of heels and got to life, with a much more stable strut of ‘sass.’

Everyone needs a friendship like ours.

I love her so madly. No one can deliver the truth to me, better than Firmonnell.

Sometimes, you just need to hear something, don’t you? Even if your ears don’t like it…We girls kinda sell ourselves short all the time, don’t we? I’ve done it for years, when it’s come to men. I’m 37 years old and still learning…Lol. Know, that you’re not alone and know that you fucking need to KICK THE HABIT!!

Chicks R’us!

(I’m not meaning t be sexist. I’m only speaking for the girls, simply because I have no clue what it’s like being a guy and I am someone who believes we’re wired completely differently.)

Right, i’ve just shopped. I’ve just had a skype meeting in regards to work. I bumped into @kateslice28 at the Jeff Banks store, via my shopping totter…

Kateslice28: ‘She wants a job here…’

Dapper dude: ‘Oh! Well..hand your CV in to…’

Kateslice28: ‘She doesn’t really want a job here…’

Me: ‘Haha. My CV’s just a series of Insta pics. Here! Watch me do this…! Now, watch me do that!’

Then I left and bought Kylie Jenner nail polish, in the sale.

My life rocks.

I’m errand running today because I leave for Liverpool tomorrow, just for a night. I have my ‘friendly, meet up’ as I’m calling it, because I just don’t like the word ‘date’ anymore. It scares me and makes me feel awkward…and scares me…and makes me feel all awkward Lol.

Kateslice28: ‘I really don’t mean to make you feel more terrified than you already are! Haha. Sorry! But it’s the truth. It’s always awkward, at first. Just go. Have some fun!’

SHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

It’s going to be a breeze. It’s an easy going ‘meet up’ for drinks, because ‘The Gent’ in question, will be shimming straight from work…and that’s better…as it helps take your mind off stuff, doesn’t it…? Plus, I will have had wine. So ofcourse, on the whole… that makes it much easy for ME!

I need a cocktail now.

I’m fuelled by fruity umbrella drinks. My bodies running out of whip.

Yet, yes. There’s nothing to be terrified of. He’s been nothing short of lovely, to me, so far.

Savannah B: ‘He still has time to stand you up.’

Me: ‘Haha. Get lost. He’s already done the *really excited* message. Saying that…I don’t actually know where i’m headed yet?’

I’m lucky. Life is good. My Insta Story is smashing views right now and i’m kinda loving that, because it makes me pull out ‘all the entertainment’ because i’m a show off.

LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeEE………….!

Everyone’s asking me about the ‘got my initials tattoed on him’ guy….He HAS given me a dare. Can’t remember if I told you, on the blog, or not? But I’ll be filling you in on all that… at the end of the week, I reckon? I kinda need to get Liverpool, work and babies out the way first. I’m excited to tell you everything, but right now I’m prioritising well…and getting my little life, jiggle on.

I will say that TODAY, I am on, DAY 18 of 21, of my ‘Breaking a bad habit’ ting. I can’t believe i’ve done 18 days. I can’t believe that I haven’t AT ALL relapsed and I can’t believe that i’ve suffered ever single withdrawal symptom and still just got on with being a champion, with a hair toss and a smile. (I’m not even as pathetic as I thought. Wait. I never thought I was pathetic. I wouldn’t have done it, if I knew I wasn’t flourishing with will power.)

Anyway…

They say it takes 21 days to break any habit. Once i’m at day 23, i’ll know that i’ve actually done it!

I will be rewarding myself greatly!!!

(I love how everyone thought it was drinking….I received so many messages about it. But yes, it’s not. Everyone needs a vice, and  a ‘tipple’ is certainly mine.)

Aww! I forgot to tell you..

‘Tats’ (do you remember me talking about him in a previous blog? If not, ‘search’ him.) Anyway, he sent me a message on Saturday night. Well, no..it was early Sunday morning and just read…

‘Hey..’

He does that all the time, as he searches for…well….Anyway….

I like ‘Tats,’ I always have and I think he’s sweet. Yet he only messages me now, during the ‘early hours’ and we all know what that means…and although it’s  flattering…if you don’t do things the proper way…I guess, after everything i’ve learnt or been through along the way, in life…I just can’t take it seriously, until they do?

I’m worth more than that…

(I know, you’re not reading this…but I wish you were…)

Things are really exciting for me, right now. I don’t know where my story ends? I just know that every single piece of it, seems to be worth it. I kinda look around me every single day, hoping for the best…yet expecting nothing without the art of hard work, or ‘magic.’

I know that dreams come true. I certainly don’t know how? Is it hard work? Is it fate? Who knows?? YET, what i’m sure of, when it comes to this little thing called ‘life,’ is that we’re all kinda in this together….be you in flats, heels or barefooted.

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

What Some Of My Friends, Say About Me…

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Morning! It’s only just turned 11am. I’ve been working since 4.30 and then spend around 3 hours driving from city to city. I’m stressed out. I’m hormonal. But really super happy, for some reason. My diet is currently SHOCKING. I’ve literally just had a mircowaved Uncle Ben’s Mexican Rice, with a Prosecco, because I couldn’t find anything else to eat…FAST. I wanted a coconut water and celery dippers…But God just didn’t want life to pan out that way..and who am I to mess with the Good Lord’s wishes?

I’ve definitely put my pre holiday weight back on, (hahaha…I influenced Herbalife well 🙂 ) but to be honest, I’m not that bothered. It’s kinda gone on my boobs and thighs and i’m okay with that. 🙂 I don’t feel fat. I mean Jabba the Hutt’s fat. I just have ‘Lady Lumps,’ and I don’t hear anyone complaining. I feel sexy.

Anyway, I need to throw a ‘pity party’, so I’m not really going to be writing out my life today. I want some time to myself, with friends, in a quiet corner somewhere with a wine. Even though I have a lot on, i’m a little bit bored and that…. when you’re a ‘liver of life‘ is a mighty problem…as I tend to cause excitement, for no real reason. I love winding people up. I love making them feel alive, for a second.

But i’m feeling wonderful right now, because all i’m doing is LIVING. Literally LIVING, without a care in the world. I’m doing it to the fullest and with a positive beam and a giggle. I’m doing whatever I want, whenever I want…and it’s bliss. I’m loving me, loving you. I’m living for the moment. I’m not giving any shits or hoots about what anyone thinks.

You only have a short time on this Earth ball…so let’s just make our time, our story…worth it.

Don’t be afraid of anything….

But yes, because I can’t be bothered to properly ‘diary’ life today…Here is what some of MY friends, think /say about ME…..

‘Chrissie Wunna is one of life’s one offs!! Fun, fit and fabulous. She’s an amazing mum.’

‘She once sold my actual ass…YES my actual anus, at a gay bar in West Hollywood…to one of Janet Jackson’s backing dancers, for a stick of gum…I did end up sleeping with him, and she did get her gum, so technically, she’s magic.’

‘She’s a crazy bitch, but she’s so much fun. She always makes sure she has a story to tell…’

‘She’s addictive. She’s like a drug. She’s just someone who you’ll never forget.’

‘I don’t know how or why her love life is so shit. She’s literally one of the best birds I know.’

‘She has a tattoo on her right inner arm that she always lies about. Haha. It’s the last name of a guy she wanted, that she didn’t even date. HAHAHAHA. She’ll tell you some made up story about how it means something completely different. lol’

‘To say she’s so sexy….she wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s a hopeless romantic and it’s annoying. People never know that, about her.’

‘She’s someone who is really great at making YOU FEEL GOOD, Feel SPECIAL. Feel important.’

‘She’s a drinker…’

‘Her work ethic is ridiculous. She works so HARD.’

‘Great in bed. Haha. 😉

‘She’s not scared of anything. She is wild and free, but so down to Earth.’

‘Someone who doesn’t like to waste her time or any part of her life. She just lives it passionately.’

‘She’s one of a kind, that’s for sure.’

‘She’s really good in bed… 😉 ‘

‘She’s crazy, but at the same time so sweet. Love her blog…it gets funny..at times….’

‘She’s great at understanding people. She’ll give anyone her time, be you homeless or the richest man in the world… She can put herself in our shoes…’

‘She once cried over a penis…because a guy with a really good penis left her and she loved his great penis… Lol.’

‘She’s a legend, dipped in sunshine and tequila.’

‘Ambitious.’

‘She’s got this energy…Even when she’s quiet….She has this presence…’

‘Really talented…’

‘Amazing sense of humour. When she’s pissed off she’s a proper dick though… she’s stubborn…’

‘She’s the girl you wished you never dumped….’

‘Smart, savvy, needy, but fun.’

‘A total attention whore, but she does it SO WELL.’

‘She lives for love and excitement and panics when she doesn’t have it or feel it anymore.’

‘Loyal, trustworthy. Really good at keeping secrets…’

‘She’s so charming. She once farted in a grocery store…and it was almost like glitter and money flew out of her symphonic booty. I’m surprised people didn’t applaud.’

‘Big headed. Quite the ego maniac.’

‘She a girly girl, with boy banter.. She’ll sit and have a pint with you & be talking about sex, or pour the finest champers, as she winks at a handsome, dressed to the nines..’

‘Confident. Bubbly. You can actually see it in her daughter.’

‘She loves being glamourous.’

‘She’s never had a guy, really actually look after her or care for her and she deserves that.’

‘She loves a looker… and is shallow when it comes to picking guys she wants to date…lol’

‘She gets everything she wants… She knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life, from being 13.’

‘She swears more when she WRITES, than she does in real life..’

‘At school, she pretended to be on her period for an entire 3 months, so she didn’t have to go swimming, because it would mess up her hair and face.’

‘Just one of those great souls…’

Cue Song:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fairytales, A Bit Of Luck & a Very ‘Happy Ending?’ ;)

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I don’t even know what’s happening right now? I’m literally the luckiest little tinker in all of the world. I’m jammy. I’m a shit. But i’m really enjoying my little version of life and mainly because right now, I’m doing everything I love, everything I WANT to do and now no longer HAVING to do.

You’ll already also know, (because I shoved it all over my ‘socials,’ that I found part of my Spanish get away in the foreign press a few days ago…which made me smile. I shot a lot, so to see me headline, a little something, in a different land, made all the picture taking worthwhile.

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I like making foreign press, as with the blog being read all over the world, (which i’m grateful for)…I’m gonna be honest, all press or ‘look at me‘ around the globe… is pretty helpful. Having the blog is great for spreading Wunna Land news around the world…as is being a model….You travel a lot.

It honestly helps a great deal. The phone starts ringing so much, you start making up a dance routine to your ring tone….

But anyway….

I had a WUNNAFUL Thursday…Well….I think it was Thursday? Whatever day it was last week….We’re gonna fly with Thursday….

WUNNA LAND WENT MENTAL.

It was sort of good news, after good news, after great news phone calls, after really fucking phenomenal emails. Lol. Everything, I had been worrying about, turned out roses. Everything that I didn’t even know would happen…ended up being presented to me as a lucky opportunity….and being the high strung executive that I am.. ;)….I simply did what any professional would do…and that was…

JUMP UP AND DOWN MADLY ON A STOOL, IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM, SCREAMING WEIRD SHIT LIKE *YIPPPEEE* & *WOO* AS I LET THAT RUSH OF A WUNNA LAND BUZZ RADIATE FROM ME.

I was so giddy I could’ve giggled up martini’s and done *can can* kicks in a conga line..(and I hate conga lines, I  always feel  that they degrade people. Lol) You lose ALL SWIGEDDY SWAG in a conga line, just so you know. And it’s actually not the fun jiggly part, that makes you look like a lunatic It’s the part where in which the line…. drizzles off, into nothingness and no one knows what to do, other than look lost and act like it never even happened?? It’s a similar awkwardness to that of a dodgy one night stand.

It’s that part that solidifies it’s stamp of utter degradation. 🙂

But yeah, I don’t even know what’s going on? I’m just riding the beginners wave and enjoying it with love, my fingers crossed and excitement! And the reason why i’m so happy about the weird consecutive ‘good news’ thing, is because my life NEVER pans out this way. I USUALLY have TO FIGHT for a ‘good news’ result.

Now, it’s served up to me, with cocktail umbrellas and nipple tassles on. I can’t really believe? It’s weird because in life, I do feel as though i’ve done well. I’ve achieved. And my dreams have come true.

Yet, i kinda set all these other goals and dreams, each time I accomplish a ‘tick box’

Friend: ‘You’re actually going to do it Wunna!!!’

…and right now, it’s crazy, because it feels like i’m doing it again? And because i’ve worked so hard for it…It feels doubley great! You just feel so much more satisfied. I can’t even believe it. My life is changing again!

I feel like the luckiest girl alive…

..in work… 🙂 because we always know that my love life pretty much insists on being disobedient, as it refuses to dance up a happy ending.  Well, not the right kind of ‘happy ending.’ 🙂

(Sorry, i’m having a giggle to myself, because the last time someone, well lets say ‘happy endinged‘ on my back, or was it on my bum? I couldn’t see, I don’t know? Lol….The sentence they said, immediately after, as they did the loving tissue ‘wipe up’ was…)

‘HOW YOU DOIN’

Yes…in a ‘Joey‘ from ‘Friends‘ voice. Love it! Hilarious! (You know who you are! Lol) I actually messaged them yesterday to ‘check in‘ and see how Saturday had been to them? I think I annoy this human. But i’m rubbish via text. I always sound like a twat. At least in real life, I can charm the ‘swiney‘ bits away with boobs and eyelash flutters.

I had so much to tell you, but i’ve got completely distracted by ‘Happy endings.’

I’ll skim it.

So…This Wednesday, I’m at an event in Leeds, it’s the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event with Emma from ‘Love Island’ and I can’t wait simply because I love a good hair piece, so I’m excited to see what’s in store.

My best chick friend ‘Firmonnell’ has exceeded herself. I love her. She’s been drinking prosecco in caravans, to step digging with her mum at Motown nights. She’s felt rough, then after 30 minutes, found that she’s completely and utterly fine again..

Firmonnell: ‘What a different a wash and 30 minutes makes!’

Me: ‘Wow, you sound like a scruff bag.’

Her life seems delicious right now and i’m happy that she’s getting a good old swing in her step…Even if it drowns in prosecco pours. You know you have a bestie when they HAVE TO TELL you, how much you they adore you at 2am. That’s true love. I mean when I was in Spain….I recieved a message that read…

Firmonnell: ‘Are you back yet! I don’t like it when you’re out of the country!’

Me: ‘Don’t bother, i’m not in the mood to be missing you right now. I’m headed to the airport. You could’ve come.’

Firmonnell: ‘That’s cool. Swag it out. Oh and CHEERS! Are you a dick? You can’t invite someone to something, WHEN IT’S ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED!’

Hahaha. I love her. I love our mad 2am messages, even though our phones refuse to type ‘fucking’ and always ‘predictive text’ out the word ‘ducking’ instead. It’s sooo annoying!

WE DON’T EVEN LIKE DUCKS! It’s so annoying!!

But it’s not just girls and 2am prosecco messages,  It’s the same with boys also….

Get ready for this true fact….

IF A GIRL IS NOT DRUNK TEXTING YOU….YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT THE ONE MATE. 🙂

AND THAT IS THE HONEST TRUTH! LOL. 

Am i going to get away with wearing flip flops today? Cheap ones, with weird pretend flowers on? Lol

I’m hating on my wonky bottom tooth today. I’m trying to not let it bother me, but it is! I’m trying not to be vain. But I am. I hate it. I want it fixed. It’s ruining my banter. You can’t banter with a buck tooth. I want veneers like ‘Big Brother’ Simone….Her teeth were brilliant! Yet, instead i’m probably going to end up ‘influencing’ something that will lead me to straighter teeth.

Right, i’m done for now. I’m having a chill day with my Mum.

Have a great Sunday! Sundays are always my favourite!

(Pete, Ruby’s Dad is here to pick her up now for the day. It’s strange because Pete and I co parent really well. He’s sweet. We get on superbly. Yet, whenever he comes over for pick ups now, I always feel like he tries to linger, or come in the house, or see me…and i’m always in my own world, when I have down time…I like to withdraw from the pleasantries…So just to wind him up, I disappear and let my mum walk her out, or have Ruby greet him by herself. Lol I’m literally nowhere to be found! 🙂 Haha. I’ve even just heard him say ‘Is our mum in? Can I come in?’ Lol.) 

 

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Pabnas, Banter & Willies

It was weird because today was so busy, that the whole ‘shawadday’ ended up being dedicated to work and more work… and although I do love the art of ‘busy, busy, work work,’ I enjoy fun MORE and simply because when you have fun there’s wine and swearing. Nothing more. Nothing less. 🙂 Well…there’s swearing in work…yet it’s not the ‘fun gin’ kind of swearing and more about stress swearing. Lol. Sorry, i’m just being a tit. because i’m tipsy.

When i’m working hard and there’s bundles of ‘more work’ to go…I put myself under a huge amount of ‘must get it all done’ pressure, because my drive can’t help it. But sometimes you just can’t get it all done. Can ya?

YET the ace thing about today, was that after the hard stuff was done an dusted…we made the executive decision to kick back, brush our cheeks with other peoples bronzer brushes and go or a few free drinks and an Indian….Pabna’s…In Pontefract!

‘Table for 11 please…’

Y’know, you need those moments, where in which you don’t just do work with each other and simply decide to kick it and play ‘fun.’ I want more of those days, because no matter what anyone says, work is work, yet yeah, at the same time fun, but it is sealed over with a need to perform and do business …and fun, just does what it says on the tin, there’s no pressure,just wine and great company . The temperature is different. And i’m someone who believes that when it comes to work, play, teams and doing well…it ALL roots from the personal rapport you have and build with one another.

But yeah, ramble over…

We got pissed.

SO over starters  naan breads, curry and bottles, bottles, and bottles of wine…we chose to do life..and enjoy it, away from the ‘hoo haa’ of pressure.

Now, I’m not going to mention names, as now my chick friends make me edit their ‘real life fouls,’ in moments of panic, now that i’ve involved them in the accidental brand that is ‘Chrissie Wunna’ …this is what occurred… 🙂

We chatted about circumcised men and how much of their willy gets chopped off during the process of it all and how in America no boys have a ‘hoodie’ on their willy, because it’s seen as dirty. We swished across the fact that some girls perform follow through trumps on Ralph Lauren socks, and laugh because it’s funny, yet refuse to clean up the misery, whilst other men watch on whilst they’re in the bath. Lol. We talked about how you should definitely marry chicks who don’t cook, clean or make tea and go out of their way to ctually text you telling you to’fend for yourself honey.’ There was chitter about swallowing, how some people’s jokes are just shite, when they’re older and Geordie and pining for more Grandad joke telling sessions. We then reeled on to  how some guys muscle in and be your hero on dance floors after cocktails, yet go to the loos when you actually NEED them to be around and then about chicks who accidentally sleep with dudes named ‘Mike’ and then go back out because ‘it was still early.’ We moved on and got mature, as we  talked about how you really shouldn’t cancel other people’s taxis for kicks without consent… and then about how curry’s give you ‘finger up the bum’ stained nails.

Firmonnell CRIED with laughter through it all and I drank wine.

That is all..You happy now?

‘Honestly, I thought his name was Mike? It wasn’t him, but i didn’t know and slept with him because he looked like him. ‘

‘Yeah, well I didn’t want to clean up my follow through & I couldn’t hide it because he was in the bath watching…’

‘I can’t take anymore of this…pass me that napkin…’

‘What napkin, there isn’t one?’

‘Chrissie honestly hates him…’

‘What his jokes are SHIT!!’

‘But how much of your willy got chopped off…’

‘You are so racist!’

‘What’s my name on your blog again??’

‘Honestly she must give good blow jobs, cos she’s rough!’

‘We should go out more often’

‘Do you want more wine?’

‘Shall we get an extra portion of onion bajis?’

There was a moment when I was stood outside, looking through at the gang, from a glass window with ‘Double B,’ we were under the stars, stood on a quiet dark street, only lit by evening beams..and as I looked it at everyone sitting at the table, there was laughter, HAPPINESS, comedy tears of joy and just good times being had by all. They were happy even when they didn’t know someone was watching. Everyone was telling a story and radiating some kind of wine dripped happy glow. 🙂

Some of them are no being sick. 🙂 Lol

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie x

 

Busy Times, Cottages Pies & Chocolate Trains

Busy day! I’ll tell you that there was a moment where in which everything was a bustle, every phone was ringing, every email was swooshed into cyberland and the madness of ‘catch up’ was upon me and well everyone around me.

You see the thing about doing this bit of ‘glitz’ is that it’s worth nothing apart from a bit of ‘ooh look at me’ unless you are smashing that ‘bread and butter’ bell with giant mallets with a smile.

Today was about that…the bread and the butter…and even though the nitty gritty work is busy and quite difficult right now, it’s great because i’m thankful for it. It’s the ‘behind the scenes’ that makes the ‘show’ work. So yes, not everything is a *pout & a pose* in Wunna land there is hard work going down.

But I will firstly say and with mild laughter…THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH for the gzillion messages that I recieved from you all in regards to my weepy Mummy melt down. Lol. Honestly, it was just a moment and then it flew by. That’s why having ex husbands is great because you can always vent out at them. 🙂 It wasn’t so bad. I just needed a rant. I didn’t cry a stream of rivers, or as ‘Double B’ would say,

‘Cry into a cup and drink my own tears.’ Lol

Keiran came around yesterday and with a smile made sure I was fine and everything went back to normal with laughter. Well he kinda said,

‘I’ve made sacrifices too,’ 

..which i’m going to take as boy talk for ‘I’m sorry, you had a melt down.’ Lol.

Co parenting is never easy…but after a prosecco and good friends it really is wonderful. The Wunna land ‘pity party’ train has left the station.

If it makes you feel better, when I cried on my drive to the coffee shop, a chirpy in appropriate for my mood ‘Little Mix’ song was playing in the background, sort of demeaning my utter pain really. Lol. I didn’t tell you that bit because I wanted you to feel how I was feeling. But i’ll tell you now, as I’m weeing myself at the tantrum.

However, I will say, clever, clever to the boys who thought ‘ah she’s feeling weak’ and messaged straight in with a ‘I’ll be your shoulder to cry on’ approach.

Even though it didn’t work. I found it great, because at least you used your initiative and charm to attempt to get what you wanted. Lol. Yipppeee! I find that sexy.

All’s well because i’m been around my chick friends today. ‘Double B’ rocked a Vogue Top Knot at 9am and if anything made me smile it was that. 🙂 I relooked over the messages that ‘Fairytale Blond’ had sent me in regards to her visit to ‘Spooky Sue,’ (she’s our local physic Lol.) After hearing the results, I want to go see her. But only because she delivered ‘Fairytale Blond’ great news. My reading i’m sure will be filled with confusion. It will make me drink until she tells me what I want to hear. Hahaha.

Then I remembered (and this was all in the mist of the busiest day ever) that I had really wonderful chick friends that I spent 300 days with a year. I mean, you know you’re both Northern and have people who look out for you, when on their DAY OFF, they spend the morning HOME COOKING A COTTAGE PIE, portioning it into lunch boxes and THEN bring it into work for you to devour at your desk with a fork. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THAT HUMAN. (I love you Mel.) I didn’t even bother waiting to be graceful, I snapped that shit open and stuffed it in my face faster than Speedy Gonzales on cheese wonder pills. That’s what good friends and good people do. They make you cottage pie.

Fuck the diet. I’ll start it in 2019. 🙂

Like I said, everything was so busy that I can’t even begin to tell you where the day went. Yes, it was stressful, but i got through it and when you smash things the best way you can, you don’t feel as bad when you get home, do you?

I had to dash away from work early to go grab my first born (Ruby) from school. I was kinda running late to say that I set off early and even though she’s a regular in her ‘after school’ click, she seemed as happy as can be.

SO HAPPY, that she decided to not rush off and instead show me everything that she and her classmates had made. (They get homework. Lots of it. I never have time to really sit down and do it all with her as much as I should do.)

Anyway, they have these weekly projects where you’re child can score points and you have to pick things to make and present once a week, like ‘Make a pair of binoculars/Kiddie Transport/An Adventure Land/ Write a diary for a week.’ Things like that. Its been running for a while and all Ruby and I have managed to come up with is ‘make a pair of binoculars’ which we did at the last minute on a Sunday night.

YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT SOME OF THE OTHER MUMS HAVE DONE.

Vicky (who is the Mama of one of Ruby’s favourite classmates) ended up dashing in late to the ‘after school’ club pick up, like moi and even HER face in passing was astonished at the work of ‘the others.’

Let’s put it this way, Ruby made TIN FOIL/TOILET ROLL binoculars. Her class mates had made giant half a wall rabbit burrow adventure lands that you could SELL in craft stores. Lol. ONE EVEN MADE AN ENTIRE REAL LIFE LOOKING TRAIN OUT OF FUCKING CHOCOLATE. And to round that chocolate train up (and it wasn’t a kiddie train, it was a full on detailed adult train) IT CAME WITH A POWER POINT PRESENTATION WITH PICTURES!! BY A FIVE YEAR OLD!

Ruby has NOT LUCKED OUT in the Mum department when it comes to homework. But hey, I was in the Daily Mail the other day for drinking? Does that score her points? Lol.

Ooh? I have another Whatsapp message…

London Business Man: ‘You really HAVE forgotten me..’

 

 

 

 

 

Girls in Business, Fun & Mr.Rights….

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Just one of those good old, fun days, where in which you work so hard, yet play hard with it, that laughter, sass and good times simply fill the air like magic.

Today was magic!

And like i’ve always said, we kinda have to hold on to those moments of happiness, because as humans they mean so much to us. It’s those euphoric moments of ‘life is great’ that play over like a happy, slow motion, glitter flurry, that we very rarely get to experience in our lives. Those moments are like gold dust that slips through your fingers. You have to remember to open your arms and embrace the good times in work, life, love and family….whenever you experience ‘magic.’

…Then i walked into a little corner room filled with happy people, sat on cushioned window sills and comfy seats that didn’t swivel. As I did, ‘Styley B’who looked like a ‘Ken Doll’ had lifted up a chair, that was about to hit a skirting board *boingy* thing.  The leg of the chair grazed it and as I tottered in, like a Glamour Puss Extraordinaire, the *boingy* thing had been struck, making it sound like I had let off the BIGGEST, most SATISFYING *FART* in the entire Universe, on entry. Hahahah! WHAT IS LIFE! THIS IS WHY I’M SINGLE!

Everyone just pissed themselves laughing and I stood there looking a *happy* sort of puzzled and moderately concerned because I didn’t actually know whether that *sound* had come out of Me or not??? HAHAHA.

If it did, I was going to style it out! 🙂

And this was AFTER I had been asked about having my children and the ‘Paradigm’ of it all??? I didn’t know what to say and my mouth just opened as words fell out… BUT THESE WORDS….

‘Well I don’t really know?? They weren’t really planned. They kinda just happened in hotel rooms after vodka. 🙂 🙂 But now i have them…Yeah….It’s great, I couldn’t imagine my life without them!’ LOL.

WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

‘Fairytale Blond’ did a jaw dropping giggle and comforted me through the pain as I sat next to her on a black and white striped, window sill cushion.

Then ‘Hot Sarah’ who once dreamt that she gave birth to a roast chicken, talked to me about a Chinese New year calendar, that I wanted her to deliver to me via the fine art of contemporary dance OR in Chinese.

‘You’re not even Chinese Chrissie!’

‘Noooooo. No words. Let your body do the talking!’ Lol.

‘Hot Sarah’ has decided that for her ‘New Year, New Her’ she’s going to dye her hair brown and wear pretend glasses, so she looks older and smarter. Haha. This is because someone said she looked 19 when she’s in her late twenties. I think?

As she said this, to my left I heard ‘Double B’ (My other chick comrade) saying,

‘I’M GOING TO CRY INTO MY CUP AND DRINK MY OWN TEARS!’

HAHAHAHA….I Literally wet myself laughing. WHAT IS THIS TEAM????? How do I even know these people! ?! They’re AWESOME! It’s nuts wrapped in bonkers. I spend over 300 days of my year with them! No wonder i’m a tool. They’ve rubbed off on me.

‘Does anyone have a pen…?’

‘No.’

‘Does anyone have pain killers?’

EVERYONE! (Lol.)

You’d THINK headed into important meetings WE’D HAVE PENS.

‘Double B’ had a FUCKING SATSUMA. 🙂

‘If i eat this, will you peel it for me Chrissie?’ 

‘You’re 21 years old! You can peel you’re OWN fucking Satsuma!’

‘I’ve just never learnt how!’

‘Dickhead.’

All jokes aside…WE SMASHED TODAY. 🙂 So busy! So much fun! Loads of hard work! Totally NAILED IT!

When girls do business WELL…We are SO SEXY! 🙂

You know, I always think that you really need a good group of friends that you seem to accidentally spend a lot of of your time with, due to work. They keep the passion in you alive. It’s that mixture of energies, that playfully tinker alongside each other, that helps your own personality grow.

In fact it kinda makes you a better girlfriend or boyfriend. It makes dating and your people skills MUCH easier when you have a good group of friends because you firstly learn how to meander with & around different personalities and secondly you have support.

I mean we all work hard together, we go through ups, downs, boyfriends, girlfriends, Snapchat filters and all sorts. 🙂 But we tell each other everything. But, I reckon the people who have a decent bundle of work buddies, who they spend a lot of time with….make better partners and better ‘other halves.’

We understand what ‘busy’ is. We’re too busy to be naggy and during our free time, we know how to unwind and have a GREAT TIME with whoever we’ve chosen to date!

Today on Twitter I was asked if I ‘had time to fall in love?’

I don’t want you to think that i’m some cold hearted ‘no love for me, too busy‘ chick. I’m not that at all. I’m warm. I’m bubbly. I love, love and like I said on Twitter, I DO HAVE TIME to fall in love and I also do hope to fall in love….You need love to iron out the stressy crinkles you go through with work. You need that one person you trust and team up with. That person you build an empire with. I completely believe that!

And YES, i’m going solo right now, but because I don’t want to ‘just settle…’ I’ve dated a lot of people who i’ve ‘just settled’ with…and it just wasn’t right, as we didn’t have the same passion for work, life or each other….really. We didn’t see the world through the same eyes, or even enjoy the same things.

When a man has found the right partner, he feels on top of the world, like he can conquer anything. He gains the heart of a lion. You can even see it in him!  When a women achieves and feels cherished, she owns this glow of utter power and love, with a warmth and strength that can rule the entire world. You can feel it when she’s near you.

That’s what i’m waiting for….

And like i’ve said EVERY SINGLE DAY, THIS YEAR, SO FAR….

I’m not the slightest bit worried..

He’ll find me. 😉 He’s close…

 

 

 

 

 

A jazzy bit of co…parenting…

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Brilliant Sunday! Woken up refreshed! Had my own loin fruit attempt to *tease* me because i looked ‘rough’ without my face on.

‘Aww, well that’s unfortunate for you two, as you BOTH seem to have the same FACE as me, without my ‘face’ on. :)’ 

Then one squeezed my boob and the other slapped my bum and they both filled the air with giggles, as they ran into Wunna land to go off and cause havoc. GOD! Why can’t i just wake up in the morning and hear a ‘You’re beautiful’ without having to go on my Facebook comment sections, or say ‘Cya, catch ya later’ to a boy who doesn’t actually love me. (Note// That doesn’t happen often. But has happened enough, throughout my lifetime. Ah fuck! Now, i’m *flashbacking* each one in turn. Happy Sunday.)

This morning, i’ve tingo, tangoed at Ackworth Garden Centre, to enjoy Christmas early with little Baby Junior. He loves it there and well we just can’t keep away. It could be Christmas every day for me. I love it. It’s my birthday soon. It’s my favourite time of year! I’m all bout the mulled wine and tinseled tits. I’ll sit on Santa’s knee any day of the year. 😉

Then we shopped for groceries, but only down all the warm isles, as i hate the cold ones, they make me feel uncomfortable and have really bad lighting. 🙂  I was in my giant white faux fur, as decent folk judged my basket…and i was fine with that as it took the focus off ME…even though it was MY basket.

‘Oh? Pull ups and wine?’ (YES, PULL UPS AND WINE. Deal with it. 🙂 )

After that Junior and I grabbed a ‘drinky methinky’ at Ego, in Ackworth. I have so much fun there and the staff are always great to my family and I. I had margaritas by a toy tractor and Junior had a double juice bonanza and got so comfy.. that he fell asleep. Haha. This is not  regular family cocktail bar etiquette. Not that it’s normal for children to be in family cocktail bars. But in Wunna land it’s pretty normal. Ruby LOVES a hotel executive suite. 😉 And it’s not even because she’s bouji, it’s simply because when she was tiny, i had to travel a lot, audition a lot and appear briefly on tv shows. I was a single mum, she had to come with me, with child care.

Anyway we ended up having to skip lunch and just get a taxi home…Junior has NEVER been in a taxi, in his entire life and doesn’t understand the concept of it all. So the absolute despair on his face, was hilarious. He gave him *daggers* the entire way home.

‘WHO IS THAT WEIRD MAN? Why are we getting into his car?’

But today i’m feeling really grateful for life and the way our little family works. First and foremost, my parents…they’re so amazing at helping me through the ‘single mum’ malarky. I’m  a ‘work really hard’ Mum…to hopefully build some wonderful empire…and well i couldn’t even try to do it without them. It’d just be shit, a lot harder and almost impossible and i’m someone who believes nothing is impossible. I’m a champ and i’m filled with determination. A guy once said that I…

‘..could walk into a room and own it and simply with a cheeky look in my eye.’ 

Anyway, the help they provide, aids me to take the elevator instead of the stairs through life and I like that. Lol. I don’t like things to be difficult, be it in work, love or pleasure. I like positive helpers outers…Men who can take control if i need them to, but who own a soft soul. I look for that quality in men always and hardly ever find it, as i associate such behavior with unconditional love.

THEN there’s the Dad’s. I literally have THE BEST ‘Baby Daddies’ in the world ever. As separate humans we’ve all been through a lot. And then with each other, we’ve (haha) CERTAINLY been through a lot. Lol. Jesus!

Yet we have so much love, time and respect for one another, glittered over with really solid friendships and really warm, not fake, co..parenting skills.The boys are cool with each other, i’m great with them both and they have additional girlfriends who have joined the team, who are nothing short of fabulous. And we co parent AS A TEAM, not as individuals. So both Dads will happily have both children and if they have a school event, EVERYONE will attend to cheer them the Wunna Babies…girlfriends n’all.

I  mean, God, last week, we were all so busy with work. I had day job and events to tend to for the blog,with a bundle of entertainmenty stuff. Keiran was having to work hard and maybe away,. Pete was ‘working working’ rushed off his feet, so Jade (Keiran’s girlfriend) had to do the early morning nursery drop off and Alice, (Pete’s Doll) had Ruby sleep over at her place, just so she could do the school run for me, in the morning…HOW SWEET IS THAT! And it all works swimmingly, with zero drama. Alice works at the nursery that Junior goes to,  so it was actually quite funny, as once she had dropped Ruby off at school, she dashed to work and met Jade, who dropped Junior off at nursery 🙂

Maybe Keiran, Pete and I have just manipulated the masses and managed to get other people parent for us. Lol. YAY!

But to anyone going through rough co..parenting times. It’s not worth the battle. I went through the hard times…so believe me, it’s not worth the ‘waste of time.’ Only fight if your child is in danger by being with the other parent.

I mean, so what if you’ve broken up, or he has a new girlfriend and life has turned things upside down. It’s a test of your strength and compassion and the ability to understand. It’s how it is and you have to move quickly into a better box, where in which you can get into a decent frame of soul, so you’re not a tool…as in this situation being a tool is not attractive. You’ll  regret it.

Our parenting triangle works because we’re not ‘in love’ with one another anymore. We’re friends who share babies, but we care enough to make it MORE than work. We smash it! And we don’t just do it because it’s the right thing, we do it because we’re all close. I mean GOD I was married to Keiran and Jeeze, i’ve known Pete since he was 11 and he’s now 31! They’re not idiot guys and i’m not an idiot girl. They’re people that i care for as family…I spent chapters of my life loving them and the kids adore how it all works. They even get excited over the fact that i might pick a guy to ‘join the team’ so to speak. Lol. We’re recruiting! Haha.

‘Who’s it gonna be Mum?’

Both boys will simply say that it works because i’m a positive soul…a decent chick, I just have ‘this way of making everything wonderful’ and our friends will say, infact i heard a guy in a bar once say…

‘that situation couldn’t have worked out any better, than it has. It’s crazy how great it is.

That makes me smile and it’s just getting better and better!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boys, Life & Pervy Sandwich Boards

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A ‘scruff bag’ with a giant yellow sandwich board hungover him and a plastic bag that looked like it has been dragged through a swamp full of toads… tried to chat me up today, in Pontefract, outside The Red Lion. I get all the best guys. Now, i’m not one to judge a ‘scruff bag’ as remember…well you won’t remember because you weren’t there lol) but in LA, on 3rd and La Cienega, when i was about 24…a gaggle of handsome Hollywood ‘pretty boys’ all hung themselves out of a black Hummer, whilst driving and as normal started whistling at me and shouting out ‘diddly doo daa’s’ at parts of my anatomy. That was their version of romance. Their version of ‘hey you’re hot.’ (Just so you know, that’s normal in LA…the boys are really open, confident and shouty about it. I mean GOD, in Pontefract a guy would die if he actually plucked up the courage to wave at you, if you had boobs, a glint in your eye or were the object of his actual desire.) Anyway that’s not the point.

At the same exact time as ‘The Hummer Boys’ incident, i heard a whisper to my right and sat on a wall was a pretty hardcore homeless guy. He was dressed in ‘olive’ and with a hat on!. I stopped because he was beckoning me over and not even for dollars. Once he had my attention and let me tell you,  he was properly scruffy, but in the blistering afternoon LA heat (he smelt awful and was so layered it was crazy.) Yet he simply and calmly smiled at me, looked me in the eye and gently said, ‘You’re laughter is like a butterfly.’ And when he said ‘butterfly’ he did this funny little, finger flitter, like his hand was flying.

Now we all know my laugh is nothing like a ‘butterfly’, it’s like a fucking FOGHORN. I have the evilest, most torturous laugh in the entire world. I can’t help it. I was created this way. 🙂 I’m known for my shitty laughter. HOWEVER, to this homeless guy, who doesn’t get a lot of love, nor attention, to him…my laughter sounded so beautiful that it was like a ‘butterfly.’ Aww! SO THERE! It was sweet of him to take a moment out of his world to stop me for a second, just to say that. He was so  poetic and this was as the hot ‘Hummer Boys’ were screaming out horny noises at my booty, with salivary kisses and thrusts. So i never judge a book by it’s cover.

Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t make me want to DATE the flipping homeless guy as i’m much more shallow than that. 🙂 🙂 🙂 AND i probably saw all those ‘Hummer Boys’ at the club later that evening…Lol. But yes, i’m never one to judge, i literally have time for everyone and anyone…my hearts in the right place i guess? I’m warm by nature.

So, TODAY it wasn’t the fact that the ‘scruff bag’ was a ‘scruff bag.’ That wasn’t what turned me off, nor was it the fact that he was wandering around with giant yellow sandwich board around his body ( i found that fun)…nor was it the fact that he was a massive perv…(I can handle a pervert with ease), it was the simple fact that in giant red letters, upon his yellow sandwich board read the words, ‘THY GOD IS LOVE.’ Made me think he was a weirdo, so i ditched him on the cobbles and got myself back to work.

Why are people so odd? And why are 9 year old boys riding around the streets on rubbish bikes asking glamourous, Burmese. older chicks, in business attire, for a blowjob? Who raised you all? And there i was thinking ‘The Wunna babies’ were bad. Yet now i’ve realized that they’re far less ‘raw and gobby’ and far more ‘charming and slick.’ I did an ace job. Haha. I should write parenting books… NOT..SNOOZE… *Cue: EVIL BUTTERFLY LAUGHTER.*

Today we learnt not to hit on girls, with a message from GOD on your sandwich board. It’s off putting. Yknow, I don’t even think the the ‘scruff bag’ was single, as he soon waddled off to whop out the charm on some toothy, drunk lady in pink leggings. We were both lovely to him, yet i was polite and she was flirty…and darling there’s a difference. 😉 Hahaha. At least show some form of loyalty. You’re the voice of GOD!

I don’t have anything else to tell you, other than i’ve just had the most amusing conversation with one of my guy friends this evening. At least HE wants to talk to me and not fob me off for a no tooth chick in leggings. He’s less Godly and more mates with The Devil.. and yes it is ‘London Business Man.’

We’re hilariously good friends now, by accident. Infact, it’s funny how life  can windle an alternate connection between two people, when in the beginning 😉 it  initially got the form of connection wrong. We thought we were headed for ‘Loversville’ but instead we got to the finish line as friends. Good friends. He’ll tell me about all his dates and moan about his love life. I’ll tell him nothing about mine and offer spiffy advice when it comes to his glueing his world back together.

At least he goes out of his way to natter to me these days. It’s ace because with him, i’m always right and like Mystic Meg I’ll predict things that are going to occur in his love life so accurately. There’s a softer side to him than i initially thought. He’s great because he’s sometimes really together, yet sometimes really lost in his own sense of being because of ‘the crazies’ that he chooses to date.

He is currently dating and loving it, which makes me smile, but he can’t decide if he’s a good guy or a bad guy and he’s actually confused me so much, that now i can’t decide. Hahaha, But again, i’m glad that he comes to me for general happy or moany banter. I feel like his therapist, or this secret friend that he has for comfort. OH MY GOD! I’m his comfort blanket! Hopefully i’m a sexy one and not one drenched in dribble and woe. He’s a great guy. We’re similar and different all at the same time. I’m the more balls, much better female version of him. 🙂 As i’m loyal to my own feelings. He misjudged my greatness at first. I’m a tough cookie.

But I’ve also noticed that he adapts himself to every single person he meets. For example, he tells me i’m right all of the time. But he only repeatedly tells me i’m right all of the time because he knows i LOVE being right. 🙂 Very clever.

I don’t know how we got from him chasing me for years on Facebook, to finally chatting and adoring each other’s wit, to sexy cocktails at the GNH in London, to first kisses, want and lust….to chatting to each other like grannies about our rubbish love lives, via whatsapp?

I do also want to *stamp out* there that contrary to popular belief, there isn’t some kind of conga line of suitors waiting to be mine? A gent i know suggested that they’re could be last night and i assured him that it really wasn’t the case. I don’t know what people think or how they perceive my love life….but you certainly don’t have it right, as i don’t have much going on right now…The way people talk about my love life is like i own some Toyboy Warehouse.

I don’t have this super long list of guys that i chat to. I’m too old and too busy to be personally entertaining hundreds of males. I’m not like that. I don’t spread myself thinly. I put my energy where i feel good energy coming from..y’know where it matters. I’m super focused at everything that i do…so there will always just be ONE GUY that i like and that will be it, as my mind is too straight forward  and pin pointy to stray. I’m not looking to get casually ‘boned.’ I’m looking for the man of my entire dreams. I’m a relationship oriented girl…and i’m glorious enough to stick it out and wait until I find the right match. I’ve wasted a lot of my time in the past. It’s made me a smarter more comfortable adult.

So if i like a guy, i’ll tell him via the ‘Green Light.’ If nothing happens from that ‘Green Light’ and i’d say i’m patient, but really impatient all at the same time…Then i’ll usually and merrily reapply my energy elsewhere, or just focus on my own life, work and good times, until they pop up with adoration and if a guy likes you, he will always pop up.

I’m an exciting girl. I love exciting times. If things fall into ‘grey’….i never ever like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feedback, Cocktails & Leeds

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‘Did you just say feedback?’

‘No!!! I said, that people are surprised that i’m so small, as i’m only five ‘ft four when they meet me. What do you mean feedback?’

‘Like when you’re on dates.’

‘Well, when i’ve been on dates before, they expect me to be six foot tall for some reason??’

‘So you didn’t say feedback?’

‘Noooo. I don’t ask for flipping DATE FEEDBACK! Lol. I hardly ever go on dates and when i do, i certainly don’t leave them a fricking photocopied sheet on the side with a feedback survey attached to it!!!’

HAHAHAHAHA. Life was hilarious today!

Then i went and forgot how old I was! (A friend that i know, of the same age did this also, in a pub.)

‘Am i thirty five?’

‘No, you’re thirty four.’

‘I’m not! I’m thirty five. I must be, i’m born in 1980???’

‘Wait, that means you’re thirty five in December???’

‘No it doesn’t. I think i’m thirty four, no i mean thirty five right now and thirty six in December?’

‘Yeah…that sounds about right!’

Living proof that when you get to thirty two your age just meshes into a conundrum of ‘thirty something’ and you no longer count years, until you’re about 38 and because you’re almost at 40 and people will buy you drinks! God, i’m old. *Weeps*

Anyway, It’s Friiiday! So well done to getting to the end of your week, be it work, pleasure or just plain old life. Have a mai tai on me. Or don’t. Whocares. I could’ve gone and cocktailed in Leeds tonight, but i couldn’t and being the kitty Queen of cocktailing, you know how devastating that IS for me. *Add a devastation face here.*

Nothing would be better than swanning around in sequins, with a glitzy whiskey sour in my hand right now. Yet Leeds, will have to wait. ‘Ginger Belle’ (i’ll call her) totally tried to persuade me, via tantruming with a ‘do it now’ and on the voice of ‘no’ she stormed back up the stairs in a comedy huffy play mood.

‘I would’ve if you told me ahead of time.’

‘You have THREE HOURS.’

(She’s like a Dominatrix.)

Anyway, i chose to settle the score by acting out the reason why i was unable to Leeds cocktail with her, outside the glass of her office wall window. (It’s a giant window of wall.) I mimed the art of having a baby and then imaginary rocked them…which is odd in pinstripes and odd on any level really. I need therapy. Lol

But yes, Leeds is my favourite…so i’ do drinks with ‘Ginger Belle’ some other Friday.(Then she did the worst and added me into a Facebook group. Hahaha. EVIL! And even worse, I had to deal with my other friend (the one that thought a tree decided whether a lemon was going to be a green ‘completely different fruit’ lime or yellow and got the terms albino mixed up with alpaca) being able to spell, within a group chat atmosphere. Lol.)

Life is ACE.

I’m swirling around in a a lovely lustful magic of opportunity right now. I’m doing really well and loving every minute of it.

Work, career, love, family all of it is brewing nicely. The Wunna family is totally the bomb diggy right now.

I’m looking forward to getting my hair did tomorrow and to sorting out my Made in Leeds stuffs!

Big kisses. Giant winks.

Chrissie x