Hormones, Dull Folk & I Just Don’t Like Festivals

Image may contain: 1 person, shoes and outdoor

I’m feeling amazing today! I’m back on work mode and it feels good. It feels ‘OOoh Laaa.’ Yet, because i’m an old bird, I  was quite terribly knackered yesterday, after being blessed with  a really EARLY work wake up call. So, I just chilled and enjoyed family time, after a bit of picture taking and a rather important meeting. But I couldn’t keep my little kitten eyes open. I kept nodding off, like a granny, then shocking myself up. Lol. Only a Desperado could help me. 😉 (Any excuse, I know.!!! In case you DIDN’T KNOW A Desperado, is my favourite ‘slum it and chill’ go to drink.)


I’m in an updo today, and it’s great because it’s making me look like i’ve had botox.

(Snapchat Msg)

Chick friend: ‘You’ve properly stepped up your game Wunna! Your holiday pics and this whole Wunna Land blah, blah, is on fucking FIRE! You need a hose down.’

Me: ‘I’m getting there. I’m a long way off yet. But cheers, Baby boo. Hose down? Sounds rude. I think i’ll just have a 9am wine.’

Anyway, last night, I popped into a ‘Go Local’ in Ackworth to grab the Desperado and two ginger beers. (Love it there.) I’m craving ginger beers at the moment. And I  just love them because they remind me of my childhood. My dad and I would drink them and dance around to UB40 songs. A moment filled with love. 🙂 I get my drinking habits and my creative talent from my Pops. I don’t think he had a ginger beer though? His moves were too good. 🙂

Walked in. Saw the back of a guy, who looked moderately attractive. I only saw his back and his gym bum. But he had a Essex accent and was bantering out loud to the two middle aged ladies behind the counter. When he left, I slowly walked up an isle with a smile on my face…

Me: ‘Look at the state of you two! You’re beaming! Calm yourselves down! Hahaha!’

Lady: ‘Here you! Lol.  Just because we’re old doesn’t mean we can’t see a good thing, when it’s in front of us!’

Me: ‘You look love struck. Lol. I’ve never seen you so happy!’

Lady: ‘He’s moving down here….’

Me: ‘What? With his beautiful wife & kids? Haha.’

Lady: ‘Well SHE (points at the other cashier) definitely knows how to pull’em. She was stood there, chatting to the hottie, eating a bloody Shepherds pie! Hahaha!’

Me: ‘HAHAHAH. You couldn’t even BE any more northern if you tried.’

I mean, what is life without a bit of gravy on ya face, eh!

Anyway, the reason why i wanted to blog about that moment, was simply because it made my heart warm. It was so innocent and flirty and showed me that no matter how old, how young, sassy, quiet, how rich, poor, small or tall….a lady is..? She STILL always has that giggly little ‘playground’ girl inside of her… when it comes to boys.

It was such a cute moment. Glad, I destroyed it with by sick witty banter…and a ginger beer in my hand. 😉

Then I checked through the magazines,and papers, to see who had made all the covers.

Anyway, everything’s great! I’m really busy. The kids are back at school and i’m gonna miss having them around me all the time.

Being a ‘lone parent’ and raising them by myself, and having to work SO hard to give them a great great life, has always meant that I haven’t really ever had the option of just chilling. Y’know, what I mean, I never could just stay at home with them, mummy them, make teas, etc etc…. I never even managed to do that when I was wife…and that was ANY of the times, I was a wife. Lol. My life has just never given me that apple to munch on…However, it’s been wonderful.

I managed it all with happiness and I managed to be a NORMAL mum over their Easter holidays from school…(Well as normal as Wunna Land gets, because I did audition a lot and then fly to Spain and do days and days of pap shots.)  Bottom line, I love being with them and the cheeky little ‘Coconuts’ (which is what I call them) love it MADLY.

I sort of fantasize about times like that. I’m gonna miss them heading back to school…for about an hour. 😉 I’ll just swish back into work mode then and probably do it in stilettos.

I’m trying to tell you what’s going on work wise right now, but I because there’s just so so much, going on.  I have auditions zooming out my ear holes, a bunch of modeling gigs, i’ve had to turn down another trip to Spain, due to being ‘booked out,’ and turn down a show, because I didn’t think It was the right fit for me. It’s not something that I thought i’d enjoy….and I didn’t think i’d make much impact on a show of that sort. Well…no, i’d make impact, but not benefit from it AND…It involved a lot more of Wunna land than just me.

So I just said no.

But regardless, I’m back on the telly shortly (I again, can’t tell you anything about it yet) and I’m unfortunately eating everything in sight….when i’m meant to be on a Herbalife plan.

I’m blaming it on the ‘You only life once’ line, because I have to blame it on something, right? But if i’m honest, I kinda feel sexy anyway, whether I have a shake OR a burger in my hand…and I think that’s what confidence and VA VOOM IS!

Shaking‘ was and IS great because it kinda made me realize that I’m happy anyway…. Plus, I did lose weight for my Spanish snaps, which helped me out tremendously. So, I’ll be back ‘shaking’ shortly. yet because my schedule is about to get tighter and when you’re on the go, it’s absolutely brilliant.

No Faff. Easy Going. Just the way I like things.

I think i might have a wine to celebrate!

I also think, it must nearly be my ‘time of the month’ soon, because I’m going through THAT week, where in which EVERYTHING annoys me. Lol. (You’ll only get it, if you’re a girl.) People are really annoying me right now and i’m being much sharper, much sassier…much more uncensored. 🙂 I seem to have put down my ‘rosie tinteds’ for a decent set of RAGING hormones.

I’m quite ‘tell it how it is‘ ..of course with charm…by nature. If people can’t take a bit of banter or the odd home truth, then they’re not yet comfy in their own skin. Right now, i’m finding everyone quite…….What’s the word??


I keep reading people’s posts and listening to conversations and thinking…


And the thing about ‘The Dull’ ones, is that they’re ALWAYS the first humans, to get their slow moving, ‘JUDGEY *never pointed at fun* FINGERS‘ out…. They’re all..

‘I’m too good for this./I’m too good for that./I would never this…I cannot believe that…/I am the most boring, unexciting human in the entire flipping land. Let’s buy tins of magnolia paint and just watch it dry upon already magnolia walls.’

Lighten up. Chill out. You don’t have to be wild. You just have to switch the beige mindset, for a better one that’s swirled in LIFE, COLOUR…OR EVEN JUST RUM?

YOU BORING SODS. (Can you tell i’m hormonal? Lol)

I love being a girl. We’re bonkers. Staying sane, is our official life goal.

My news feed got so frustrating that I started looking at all the ‘festival fever because it’s everywhere, isn’t it. It’s all gone ‘Coachella mad!

Now, Coachella.. at least looks fun. It looks sunny and alive.  I just NOT a BRITISH festival kinda girl. I’m not one to want to camp in a tent, wee in a plastic cup and refrain from showering for days… in the name of anything. I’m a glamour puss. And i’m not really bothered about having Unicorn hair, rainbow glitter on my face and adorning my arm with endless wristbands, that aren’t made of diamonds. 🙂

I’m a kitten, who enjoys a ‘cocktail and a wink,‘ and yes I can slum it. I love to chill more than anything. I mean, chilling is my favourite thing. If you have ever dated me, ever…you will know that about me.

I’m too old to ‘festival’ or camp about.

I mean, Glamping in the forest , in my giant mansion of a cabin was about as far as my camping skills go…and even that had to include a massage, a hot tub, room service and the option of an ‘in house’ chef. 😉

My chick friend even once stated that..

‘Camping to Chrissie, is like staying in the worst room in some Five Star Hotel.’

I love that! I’m not a dick. I just don’t like things to be a struggle during my down time. I work really hard, even though it may not look that way. I work really REALLY hard. ALL THE TIME. My work ethic is incredible. I’m fun but i’m professional and most successful people are, I reckon? I simply play it like it’s all a jiggle and a winkl…because that’s what my job needs to look like…

I just prefer calm, easy going peace, or quiet luxury…that comes ready made with love..Festivals are a Wunna Land ‘no go.’ None of this waiting in line for a shower… in a tented field, filled with ‘drama’ boys, and girls with Unicorn hair because i’ve  paid extra pences and booked ‘Vanity.’

I’ll pass…

So, yeah, I enjoy fun. But a festival is just not my cuppa…gin.

I don’t have anything else to say….I’m off to meet ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Mag later I think….

I haven’t caught up with him in ages….





Flowers, Fun & Let’s Show Our Gussets

It’s just the most amazing time and I say amazing simply because for me, it’s a time where in which I realized how GREAT my 2017 has actually been. I realised how wonderful my friends and family are and how much i’ve appreciated them being there through the ‘ups’ the ‘downs’ and the jiggly bits of this year. They’ve been there through the fun. They’ve been through through the laughter. They’ve been there at the parties. They’ve been there through the drama.

We’ve watched each others hearts beam. We’ve watched each others hearts break. But no matter what, through the thick and thin of it all and we as humans kinda take  the ‘thick and thin of it all’ for granted…They’ve really been there for me. We’ve been there for each other, and without ANY condition.

I mean my friends and I are a sassy bunch of fuckers. It’s all hair tosses, work, prosecco bubbled ‘feel betters’ and the absolute BEST of good times. No one does ‘good times’ better than US.  There’s been tears, tangos and those occasional that salty pinches of drama. But we say how we feel and we say it well. Some of the bunch are really open, some of the bunch prefer to keep their secrets to themselves..Some cry…Some don’t……Yet we understand each so well…that no matter what we get it. It’s hard to find people who ‘get it,’ right?

So, incase you didn’t know, I’m headed into a new chapter right now. Infact, i’ve done it. I did on Friday. I’m feeling excited, a yeah…a little under pressure. I’m feeling as though i’m about to ‘cannon ball’ into the unknown, with everything crossed. If i needed support ever, I’d probably need it now.


It’s a really important time for me to ‘sass it up,’get my business head on, move forward confidentially and do it power heels. Yet, being i’m Miss Wunna, (i’m a glamour puss, i’m gentle) I’m not one to override deliciousness, when it comes to me, in the form of friendship, love and surprises…

Before I started power strutting…I stopped to smell the roses, appreciate those that I care about and let them appreciate ME!! J It’s something i’m actually not good at, believe it or. 😉 I’m a giver, not a taker and they say you’re either one or the other?

Friday was WONDERFUL. I held it all together. I got through  my work morning. (All I did was sit in a giant black faux fur, and do nothing, whilst I bantered with the girls and demanded that we drink prosecco at some point, even if it was in plastic cups and EVEN IF, ‘Lady Shizzle’ had not been able to show up because she had managed to guzzle so much red wine that she dashed for the last train home, missed her step whilst stepping onto the last train home and FELL DOWN the side of the train. Yes in the ‘mind the gap’ crack. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nothing made me wee myself MORE. I was delighted by the glamour of that story. It was BRILLIANT. I loved it.

Fairytale tried to tell me the story, with her angelically serious ‘fairytale’ face, but I just couldn’t stop uncontrollably PISSING MYSELF, that it just turned into hilarity. It’s just brilliant.)

Me: ‘Honestly. Lol. Never in my entire life, when I have been THAT pissed and had to catch a train, have I ever missed stepping ONTO the ACTUAL train and fallen down the crack. Hahahahaah. It’s IMPOSSIBLE! It’s hilarious. I love it!’

(I might have been sick on a train and pretended I didn’t do it…But I’ve always managed the ‘step onto’ quite well. Probably because I know, i’m one step closer to home. One step closer to safety. Lol)

But yes, the day was filled with laughter, girl banter, occasional sad faces and then I noticed Fairytale and Firmonnell disappear and leave me with Beth. ..who was smearing some kind of moisturiser around her face.

Beth: ‘You’ve made me ill.’

Me: ‘Yeah I know.’

Beth: ‘Do I look like a reindeer?’

Me: ‘Where’ve they gone?’

However, lunch was had, sore lips were made fresher, cheeks were bronzed and then I again wanted Prosecco. Firmonnell bought me lunch. I’m a veggie now because ‘Hustle’ forced it upon me, so I winked at a 3 Bean Salad. It didn’t wink back, but i had it anyway. 😉 Yet, I LOVED that she bought my lunch. It weirdly made me feel super special. It the simple things, I tells ya!

I decided to do some work, which consisted of scrolling through my Instagram page Lol, still in my giant black faur fur, whilst swinging on an orange swizzle chair..then all of a sudden I hear a,


My eyes literally dart up…. and like I’ve won the lottery, I started screeching..

‘Yeah! That’s me! THAT’S  ME!!!’

And there they were…..The perfect delivery human, with the most PERFECTLY, GRAND DISPLAY , OF THE MOST GLAMOUROUSLY GIANT, PINK BOUQUET OF FLOWERS!

Image may contain: 1 person, flower

It was like a dream! I squeaked!!!

There’s always this ‘little girl’ in me, that is delighted by goodness, treats and surprises.

Flowers came, selfies happened…

Me: ‘I’m not in the right lighting!!!’

Then as the day went on, after a mosey outside, a couple hours later….I strutted back in with a..

‘I’m off upstairs. I need a wee…’

But I looked at ‘Fairytales’ face, she had some ‘Cheshire cat’ grin on…’Dipper’ was sat next to her, looking like nothing was happening…and then I looked at ‘Firmonnell’ for confirmation…who kinda looked expressionless. I actually thought that nothing had gone during my absence…I took two steps forward and…


A corner that should be dedicated to work had been filled with love….There was pink champagne, my favourite cocktails in a can, cards galore, my flowers….a glass that read ‘You Gorgeous Thing You’ and the BEST PART was one of those LIGHT UP BOARDS…Y’know…the ones that you can buy that read like a cinema headline…and it simply read…


Firmonnell had to spell ‘WUNNA’ without the ‘U’…. because there was only one ‘U’ in the packet. HAHAHAHA

No automatic alt text available.


I was just over the moon. It was SO thoughtful. It made me feel WONDERFUL!! It made me feel really cared for.

I just jollied about merrily, squeaking, whilst bursting out little ‘happy dance’ routines. I radiated happiness. Nothing else in the world mattered during that moment. I was on Cloud 9.

It was then when I realised how lucky I was. I’m really lucky.

The moment was followed by heartfelt Whatsapp messages from other close friends and all the love and support that a ‘little girl’ like me could ever wished for.

Me: ‘If this is what happens during new chapters…I just want to do them EVERY DAY!’

We drank, we laughed, we bantered and as people trickled away they hugged me ‘good luck.’

Then…like the day hadn’t been magnificent enough…I checked my email inbox and someone who has throughout the year, tinkered in Wunna Land, with his bad ‘Grandad’ jokes, yet with smiles that would suggest he was the happiest human on Earth, sent me a gift…

And that gift was ‘wisdom’…via the fine art of poetry.

I love a good poem and I adore any form of motivation….

So he did just that….I’ll quote you a bit…

‘Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close YOU are,

It may be near when it seems Afar,

So stick to the fight when you’re Hardest Hit,

It’s when things seem worse that YOU MUST NOT QUIT..’


It was followed by a phone call..

‘Is Chrissie there…Put her on…’

He was on the other end of the line and even though he’s cheeky and will whip you a truck load of really bad jokes….there are moment where in which I couldn’t feel more inspired. You feel inspired when you need to feel inspired right? Plus, I always respect those who have been on this merry Earth a tad bit longer than I….Well he’s sixty soon…so a TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD bit longer longer. Lol

But the last thing he said to me was..

‘I want you to go out there and KILL IT CHRISSIE. Go out there, take what’s yours, grab it around the neck and wring it.  I believe you can do it and you know you can do it. It’s yours for the taking….KILL IT…because you CAN.’

Then the glamour puss officially left the building, after ‘thank you’ phone calls and casually turned out lights.

‘Have you locked the back door?’

I’d pretty much checked in and checked out with everyone….Well…aside from Mel…I never really got time to ‘shimmie’ a ‘good luck’ with her… However, luckily, I looked down at my phone and with a…

Mel: ‘What time are you done? Do you wanna do drinks at The Carleton…’

Me: ‘Yeah, definitely. I’m en route now…’

Mel : ‘I’ll be there 5.45pm.’

I met her at the bar and we drank wine, in the corner of a cosy, yet busy pub..It was filled with bustle and what looked like ‘Christmas Parties.’ Ladies were giddy with excitement for a night on the razzle and the guys had sauntered in for quiet drinks at the bar. It felt really good, as everyone looked as though they were having the most wonderful time. Be the young. Be the old. They were happy.

We chatted the whole entire night. We talked over the present, we talked about the future, we recreated the past….I compared a relationship to a game of ‘pass the parcel..’

Me: ‘I dunno? Right now, it kinda looks like a game of pass the parcel… a boring one, where no one opens a prize and there’s absolutely no music….Like you’re just passing the parcel… to keep it going…for the sake of…’

More large wines were drank, she encountered new fun with old friends, I met new faces and we laughed about our lives, we chatted about our love lives and we talked ‘danger’ and how much we decided we liked it?

So much vino was delightfully sipped, that we ended up having to LEAVE OUR CARS and get a lift home.

In that moment, ‘good times’ with a great friend mattered MORE THAN curfews and being angels.

It ended up being one of those REALLY GREAT NIGHTS.  A night i’ll always remember. It sailed me into a morning of New Chapter’ slighty hungover…yet filled with support.

Saturday morning, I spent shopping and then lunching with Baby Ruby, who now thinks she’s a superstar.

Rubes: ‘I don’t want to get my hair washed in the bath anymore. I just want to go to the hairdressers all the time because she pampers me and massages my shoulders, when i’m stressed.’

Me: ‘Your hair looks cute…’


Snapchat Message from Pete (Her Daddy) : ‘Awww, her hair really suits her like that!!!’

Reply: ‘Good Luck…She now only wants it done at the hairdressers and says she’s never taking her plaits out EVER.’

Pete adores Ruby with all of his soul. We both do. Yet, he loves a ‘Diva.’ I AM a ‘diva’ so with Ruby, it’s kinda like having my OWN personality, ‘personality’ back at me….It’s wonderful and creepy all at the same time.

Then I  taught her ‘shoulder rolls’ (in public) which to me is the ONLY dance move you need to know, when it comes to the art of ‘being swag.’ It’s so versatile! Lol We literally stopped in the middle of a  shopping centre, dropped our bags and stood facing each other doing ‘shoulder rolls’ until she got it. J

Mum: ‘It’s moments when I watch to both do things like that, that I couldn’t love you both anymore. It almost had nothing to do with shoulder rolling and everything to do with your bond…your friendship and your absolute giddy love for one another..’

Tomorrow morning, I’ve got my London/Ronnie blog out and then my pretty little darlings, we begin my BIRTHDAY WEEK!

I’ve purchased, i’ve packed and i’m ready.

Tomorrow morning, I head to the depths of the Sherwood Pines Forest , to check into my luxury log cabin for the week, with the babies and the family! I couldn’t be MORE EXCITED. It isn’t actually my birthday until Tuesday, which is the 19th, so yeah it’s all about peace and tranquillity…But let’s face it, I’m a  good time gal, i’m having a birthday and i’m someone that refuses to play the ‘it’s just other day’ card.

To me, it’s the best day ever!!  So we’re gonna be having a fun and boozy, good old birthday time! You hate being a ‘Christmas Baby’ all year, until it’s Christmas…and your birthday! J

I hope you’re ALL HAVING THE MOST MARVELOUS FESTIVE SEASON. Please have fun. Even if you’re glum, please try and have fun. Don’t let life trickle through your hands. Take control of your time and make it yours. Celebrate it!

I mean, I received a card on Friday that read,

‘Then we must frolic, dance and maybe flash our gussets…’

And that’s all I want you to remember… Don’t be dull!

I’m in a new chapter…Let’s dance..

I’m in the forest tomorrow…TWO DAY BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN.


Chrissie x

Life, Death & It’s Almost My Birthday

Oh my gosh! I have been drizzled with the snuffles and dashed with the sassy old flu bug. My nose has trickled a seductive *tap dance* (no one looks good with a runny nose) and due to such a beautiful time of Lemsips, Fox Onesies and trying to keep warm at all costs, in the ABSOLUTE FREEZING COLD (I told you, i’m far too exotic for this shit..Yeah, yeah, born in Doncaster. Yeah, yeah…still 100 percent Burmese)…..Wunna Land has been MAN *the jizzles* DOWN.


(I mean you can’t be Doncaster, Burmese, in ya thirties AND have a runny nose. The combination on ANY level, just DOES NOT fly.)

To be honest, I’m actually quite good when i’m poorly, because the ‘DIVA’ in me pretends that I’m fine. Always fine. I could be naked, crippled and dying on a jagged rock somewhere, covered in rum, despair and diamonds, yet still ask you the time and demand that you,

 ‘Pass me my Louboutins and sort out my schedule.’

So yeah, being me. There’s no sulking. (I’m not one for melodrama and find it unattractive in others. I don’t like mountains out of mole hills, even if it’s raining.)

I zipped myself up and worked all the way through my kitty flu…and yeah I cancelled meetings with new strangers, big ones where in which humans had to catch flights from New York to Manchester, in order to meet me over dinner.  I had to, otherwise a ‘burnout’ would’ve got the better of me. Everything happens for a reason.

However, I figured, that if I kept it all moving, life would pity me and like ‘toddlers in a nursery’ I’d hopefully pass the lergy on, with grace… to one of my delightful chick friends.

‘Honestly, I’m gonna show up and pass it on..’

(Generous of me, I know.)

Anyway, it worked… I’m utterly on the mend and now everyone else is ill. 🙂

*Cheeky. Cheeky. Wink*

I haven’t been able to blog over the last few days, due to work and the kitty flu, but i’m back. A lot has happened.

I still need to write my London blog, as I spent the most wonderful time with my LA Bestie and Superstar Chef Ronnie Woo last week and that was waaay before I did The Backroom Leeds, in sequins and casual winks.

So that blog is still to come and I can’t wait to tell you about our time together. I have some really great LA friends, who have become my life soldiers, simply because we all went through so much together, trying to battle entertainment, in one of the toughest towns in the world. A tough but wonderful town, that is STILL glamourised as ‘Hollywood.’

I have events and blog assignments jiggering all the way up to my glittery eyeballs. I’m really lucky and i’m so grateful. I’ve signed up to campaigns, ones to help the homeless, others to provide support for those in fear of ‘coming out’ in football…there are new brand collaborations and photoshoots a plenty…a booked.

I have an exciting New Year.

But, as a shock…there’s been a death in the family…well I prefer to say a ‘passing.’ My grandmother passed away in the early hours of this morning, well…last night. So, as you all slept and snuggled up to your loved ones (who are probably annoying you right now,) Wunna land was wide awake, with frantic panics and ‘get to the hospital now’ calls. It was almost SO BUSY, yet in slow motion. We’re a really close family, so moments like this, take over everything.

The weird thing is…I actually randomly dreamt of the ‘passing’ on Tuesday night, but I didn’t tell my Mum because I didn’t want to scare anyone. It was just a dream right?

Two days later…early this morning, my grandmother was peacefully taken away from us. My Mum, who’s is the most loving human, yet as tough as can be, is obviously pretty broken by it all, right now. No one loves anyone, as much as my Mum knows how to love. I hate seeing her in tears. It breaks me. Yet, like I said, we’re a loving family, a close family and we’re a family who handles death & support really well.

We cried. We all cried. Even Ruby cried. But in a way, it was beautiful because now the woman who taught me everything I could possibly KNOW about ‘old school’ grace and glamourosity ..

(..my Grandmother used to be a model, Miss. Burma infact. She was dainty and dignified, glamourous and beautiful. She married my Grandfather, a wealthy, stylish lawyer, who saw her at a Miss Universe heat, upon his travels. They loved each other madly and treasured each other with every inch of their souls. They taught me love. They taught me class. And my Grandfather treated her like she was the ultimate Queen of his heart. He provided her with a life that was almost like a dream. )

My favourite memory of my Grandmother is the day she pulled me to one side, in her bedroom, in Burma. We were surrounded by the finest carved teak and luxury.  I was around 13 years old and she secretly gifted me with a tiny precious box. In the box was a ring that she wanted me to have and treasure forever…The ring was gleaming, with the most beautiful Burmese Ruby.

It was the first precious gem that I had ever owned and that moment meant SO much to me, that 17 years later, when I birthed my first child,  I actually named my daughter after that moment.

She’s at peace now….She’s happy… and as my dream showed me, is now with the man of her absolute dreams.

Sleep well Grandma. I love you, always. (I definitely get my awful sense of humour from you. 😉 )

Now, I don’t want you all, to read this as something dreary, as all of Wunna Land, the entire family are sending her our blessings and talking through the ‘passing’ like it couldn’t be more beautiful. I guess, it’s our way of handling it. Yet, i’m someone who prefers to focus on the great moments you have with a human, rather than give energy to the ‘not so’ jolly.

I sat down with Ruby & Junior last night, who seemed so shocked about it all…and in that moment, as I hugged them both… and Junior wiped a tear from his eye… I taught them how important it was to love and more than anything how important it was to LIVE every single inch of their lives without fear. Last night, I felt like I had a purpose. I felt strong. It was wonderful.

So yeah..A lot has been going on and i’m currently having brief afternoon banter with ‘London Business Man,’ who is desperately hungover, still in bed and telling me he ‘misses me.’

‘I’m soooo hungover and four hours late for work. I’m waiting for my boss to call me and shout at me. I’m being all honest and nice to you. You need to say something lovely back, that’s how it works.’

‘You only missed me because you were pissed?? Lol’

In the midst of all that…it’s my birthday in FIVE DAYS. Yup. This little kitty turns 37 in FIVE FLIPPING DAYS! I’m really excited. I LOVE having a birthday. More than anything, I want to celebrate LIFE right now. And I’m weirdly not fretting about the snazzy ‘Being 37’ thing, I’m actually finding it quite sexy? I never felt more together.

I have the weekend to pack and then I am en route to the enchanting Sherwood Pines Forest, on Monday.. for a FOUR DAY break of peace, tranquility and champagne dripped, open air,  hot tubbing, deep in the heart of the woods, in the luxury forest cabin… with the Babies, my Mum, my Dad, Brother and cousins, for my birthday.

I’m so excited. I’ve needed a peaceful break for so long…

Luckily for you, there is absolutely no rest for the wicked, because I will be blogging from my forest cabin EVERYDAY and treating you to live cabin videos, blogs and an actual tour of my digs.

Follow me on everything and YOU get to be there with me, as I take glamping to the NEXT UTTER LEVEL. I actually love that you’re gonna be a part of Wunna Land, as right now…I need it.

I hope you’re all okay?

How did your Thursday pan out?

Biology, Ice Rinks & Prada

I definitely sat in a room today, with each one of my girl besties and took part in what I would call a somewhat glamourous ‘biology class.’ ou would never have thought that I was the product of not ONE but TWO Doctors, as Biology, has certainly never been a forte of mine. However, now..I feel much better, because the rest of my chicks friends are even more SHOCKING, when it comes to the rules of science.

So in the group….Some of us have had babies. Some of us… have not. I noticed that the ones who haven’t quite yet produced ‘Mini Mes’, didn’t know how or where babies come from? Lol. Yes, they’re all grown twenty something adults. 🙂 Glamour Pusses, to be exact. All ambitious. All driven. All hard working.

It went a bit like this..

‘Well, they say that if you have a baby later on in life, you’re more likely to have a boy, because more girls are produced by accident.’

‘Wait! So girls are becoming extinct???’

‘No, You’re just more likely to have a boy.’

‘Yeah, but in school we learnt about the X/X chromosomes and the x/y chromosomes, which would mean…’

‘I didn’t learn that in school…’

‘Wait, so I can only get pregnant, two days of the month?’

‘It’s weird how people just fall pregnant after a one night stand…’

‘You’re period has to be regular…’

‘Well i had an ovulation app…and i lived by it…’

‘Where do babies actually come from… Like i don’t actually know??’

‘Yeah, but Double B isn’t on the pill and she…’

‘She never has sex…’


Then we quit playing ‘biology,’ as we had better things to do with our time. (Surprisingly.)

Mel decided that she needed to see a Doctor and an Optician all in the space of three hours, incase she had a brain tumour.

Mel: ‘Fucking’ell. I don’t want an injection in my eye. I’m having to go to Pinders tomorrow! Is it normal for Opticians to touch you?’

Me: ‘What d’ya mean, touch you? Lol. They do get close to your face.’

Fairytale: ‘They have too!’

Mel: ‘He was fit anyway…It’s just a bit weird that…’


Then ‘Fairytale’ and ‘Hustle Barbie’ decided to indulge in Kurt Geiger boot drama.

Fairytale: ‘These aren’t as comfy as they were in the shop.. I just wanna go home me…’

Hustle: ‘Well yeah, because everyone else has tried them on in the shop. I just need good boot for Budapest on Saturday.’

And ‘Firmonnell,’ ….my very best chica ‘Firmonnell’…dyed her hair pink. 🙂

(Haaaaa H’HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! What an idiot!)

Nothing makes me more delighted, than the fact that she tried to dye her OWN HAIR BLOND and instead she managed to lift her pretty head up from the sink and find that it was PINK. (Well, I say pink. No. She says PINK. It’s not pink. It just glows pink from a blondish head of hair.)

‘IT’S PINK! It’s fucking PINK.’

‘It’s really not.’

‘I thought i’d just go to sleep, let the world take a turn and wake up in the morning to see if i’d like the colour. I laid in bed for about 3 minutes and like a lunatic was back in the mirror to see if it had magically changed colour. If Double B was here, she’d tell me the truth. She’d tell me that I looked like i sold…’

Moderately dramatic. Yet, I love it when she’s all drama and evil. That’s why we ALL get along. ‘Firmonnell’ and I are on a really good banter stream with each other right now. Our banter, cannot even be competed with.

Firmonell: ‘Ooh, it makes me feel so good! I can feel the evil running through…’

Me: ‘…my soul.’

Anyway, fifty little pounds later and a £90 cancelled booking, ‘Big D’ (her delightful husband, who was probably sick of her moaning) had found her a trip to a rather bouji hairdressers, to change her life ‘back to blond.’ I love ‘Big D’ for that. He scores HIGH in the ‘Husband stakes.’He’s doing EVERYTHING RIGHT, right now. Where’s my ‘Big D???’ Wait! Hahaha. That sounds so rude!


Then I got bored and started Googling Prada. Shoes to be exact. Not because I particularly need any. Just simply because it makes the world a safer place. We’re committing to all things that makes us happy, right? Like the mesmerizing glow of the Dior makeup stand in ALL department stores…scrolling through the Prada or Jimmy Choo website….just makes me happy.

Then our guy friend ‘Jonesez’ who definitely needs to find himself a girlfriend, decided to make loving assumptions, as he carefully strutted passed each one of us, with caution. (He’s like a thoughtful, annoying, little brother to us all. But we love him madly because he buys us sweets.)

To Fairyatle: ‘Can I have some of your lip balm? It’ll be like we’ve kissed then.’

(Reply: Why are you so weird?)

To Me: ‘Yeah. I’ll definitely go ice skating with you. It’ll be like we’re on a date.’

(Reply: It’s not a date dude.)

To Hustle: ‘I thought you said *give head* then.’

(Reply:  *BLANK*   )

He’s such a Love Bunny. He can’t even help it! He’s cute! 🙂 To be fair. He’s a nuisance. But he’s fun and probably one of the most thoughtful boys ever.  We love him really.

But away from all that. I’m really busy. I’m trying to book a stay at a Forest Cabin, for the week before Christmas. For Ruby, Junior, my Mum, Dad..you get the picture. The Wunna’s.

I’ll also have a birthday around that time. I’ll be blogging from the cabin, through that week. It’s one of my favourite places. I haven’t booked it just yet. But I’ve been chatting back and forth with Forest Holidays all day today, because the cabin that I wanted is so popular, that it’s already booked up.

Firmonnell: ‘You can’t just have people chucked out of a cabin for you. Lol.’

Me: ‘ No. I know.I’m not trying to… I just…STOP TRYING TO RAIN ON MY PARADE!! Lol.’

I’m also trying to find a place where I can ‘open air’ ice skate during the festive months? Have Millennium Square in Leeds stopped doing the open air ice skating thing or something? I wanna go with the kids. I wanna go with my friends. I need it in my life and it’s nowhere to be found?

I was under the fond misconception, that it always appeared, as soon as the whole German Market affair tinkered to light? I’m wrong! I’ve fantasized about ‘open air,’ Christmas ice skating, in Leeds. Now, my dreams are shattered. 🙂

How can I have a ‘open air’ ice skating birthday, if there isn’t anything to skate on?

‘No! I don’t want to go to an ice rink. It has to be OPEN AIR!!!!’

(Lol. I’m feeling quite high maintenance today. I’m flipping demanding cabins, Prada and ice skating rinks. It’s the girls, they’ve evoked my inner Diva.)

But yes, it’s a busy time of merriment for me, or any blogger really, right now. I’m headed into such a fun season. It’s my favourite season and it’s so much better than Summer, because there’s an emotional warmth to Christmas isn’t there?

It’s not just a bikini pout, a poolside sun lounger and a instagram pic of you and an inflatable flamingo. There’s a magic to this season. A real magic. And this magic meanders around, until every single one of us, smiles and enjoys a warm apple cider, tinsel dripped December.

It’s that ‘magic’ that makes us feel good and when we feel good…. we can conquer the world!

Friinally Feelings & Saturday Jiggles

Get this! Rubbish doesn’t come in THREE’S! Hurrah! Pop open the boozy spiced apple prosecco! Call a mate! ‘Dutty’ Wind to hip hop tracks. Celebrate joy in Jimmy Choo’s. Smear on the Lypsl on your lips and kiss strangers under Cupid arrows.

Yesterday, was long. But great. I found myself surrounded by besties, who made Friday brim with glee. When you’re all in the same boat and thrown out to sea, you might as well paddle…and do it with coffee. I got my Friday feeling. It was filled with FRRIIINALLY. I had waited for FRIDAY for YEARS! J Friday evenings are ALL ABOUT CHILL TIME for me. It’s my kick back and refuel night, where in which I reap the rewards of the week and strip down to comfies immediately, as soon as I fling open my front door and with a fresh cocktail in hand, I recoup, relax and just enjoy Wunna land. It is BLISS. It didn’t even get ruined by Keiran (Junior’s Dad) picking Junior up for the weekend and handing me a Bible.)

Keiran: ‘I have a gift for you.’

Me: ‘It’s a Bible isn’t it.’

Keiran: (Pisses himself laughing) ‘Yes. Just read it.’

I much preferred a million years ago when he used to surprise gift me with flowers, romance and luxury getaways. I mean GOSH, this guy, once put together the words ‘I LOVE YOU’ made out of GIANT WOODEN JENGA PIECES, before climbing a giant tree in the middle of Sherwood forest to take a picture of it, nearly died en route and just so he could send it to me, to make me smile. We were at Forest Holiday’s int he Treehouse cabin.

Five years on and a divorce inbetween, we’re at Bibles. Lol. At least we’re still good friends. If it wasn’t for Junior….we probably wouldn’t talk. Lol

But yes. With my Friday feeling in tow I brimmed with glee as I chilled in ‘down time’ and kicked it with Ruby. An hour before six o clock, I began to feel excited for no reason. No reason at all. A happy buzz just took over me. I began to get excited for the future and just felt happy to be alive. It was bizarre. Lol. The strange this is, that as soon as I felt glistened with excited sparks, emails came in. Good news emails. Great news emails. All about work. All about opportunity. I couldn’t even believe it.

I was waiting for ‘Round Three’ of shocking news. Bad shit. But it didn’t even happen. Instead, I got good news! I looked down at my phone and sighed with relief.

I’m currently in the back of my mum’s car again, blogging on my pink notebook. We’re headed to Doncaster. The town that birthed me. I’m a Leeds girl, but Donny is my original home town. And yeah I shimmied over to Pontefract for school and life as a child, and ended up in Hollywood for all of my 20’s. I’m back in Yorkshire now and i’m loving it. I have everything I want. My next year is going to be amazing. I feel like the luckiest girl alive.

Today, like I said, I’m headed to Doncaster, with the entire Wunna clan. My Mum, Dad, Brother and Ruby. We’re off a little shop and a little lunch. I’m intending on delighting with a little Prosecco in my hand at my favourite Prosecco Pitstop and we’re just gonna enjoy some good old family time. My Mum and I had a really great chat last night about my future and work. She’s a really grounded chick is my Mum. I love her. I don’t know what i’d do without her.

I think we’re here now, as I’ve just looked out of the window and I can see the Frenchgate Centre. So i’ll have to love you and leave you.

Have a great Saturday!



I’ve Got My Va Voom Back!

I’m passed the feeling of shitting myself and now i’m utterly EXCITED for my Friday! I had an evening that kinda made me feel really confident about myself…and when a girl feels that way, she glows, she radiates….I know i’m currently radiating because my world right now is filled with inboxes messages from exes, or previous husbands, or new guys with gusto and my strut is currently *paused* every few minutes by a stranger or an old friend giving me the wink. It’s not about the inbox fill up, or playful winks from strangers…as i’m ignoring them all politely. (I’m rubbish like that.) It’s all about the ‘GLOW.’ It’s the GLOW that we chicks get when we feel confident in our strut. I want all girls to feel it, every moment of every day. It makes us attractive. It’s sexy, because that glow radiates makes us super POWERFUL and no matter what ages, shape or size you are, nothing is sassier than that whoosh of of ‘ooh laa.’ (Boys will honestly be tripping over their willies as they pass you by.) Oh and FYI/ NOTHING IS BETTER than exes messaging you, who you now care nothing for, when you have that ‘whoosh’ of ‘ooh laa.’ I’ve looked at the message, said nothing and beamed with my ‘Cya, don’t wanna be ya dance.’ If a guy wanted you that badly, he would’ve made the effort to keep you and HEY, maybe not chosen another girl over you! Lol. I AM GLOWING.

Anyway, yesterday was great because yesterday was the day that my guy friend David (who’s currently auditioning for Celeb Hotels) decided to obtain a mattress from a granny, shove it in his boot and simply for banter because ‘Firmonnell’ told him to, place it on the top of ‘Fairytales’ car (her cream mini) and snapchat it to everyone.

Firmonnell: ‘I don’t know why it’s so funny. But it is!’

IT WAS HILARIOUS! This is how i know i have ace friends. Nothing is better than childish pranks. I actually thought that he’d only plonked the dirty mattress on her car for snapchat picture taking purposes….But no…it sat there ALL DAY.

Hustle Barbie: ‘Fairytale…Why have you got a giant dirty mattress on the roof of your car? ‘

Fairytale: ‘It’s still fucking there!!!!!’


I’m feeling cheeky today! I feel like i want to prank the world and just deal with the consequences afterward! Lol You’ve got to love a laugh. You’ve got to love a bit of banter. And it’s the simpliest things that crack me up.

Last night, after the babies had tinkered to sleep and my mum had come round to cuddle them…I had a bit of work to take care of, for my weekend. I’m excited for my Friday now. I was meant to blog, but instead, i walked down to ‘Ego’ for a quick white wine. I needed a chill, a nightcap and well i’m not really going to be able to have a drink tonight…as i’m sure i’ll be rushing about headlessly. (I’m also excited because i’m about to embark on what feels like a whole bunch OF TIME off work….which means i can fit ‘good times’ in and refuel.)

But anyway, I went to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth. I go all the time. I love it there. I love the staff there. It’s a good place to find me. I always go on my own for a chill and just sit at the bar by myself. Lol.

So, I obviously opened my last blog with Josh (the ‘Ego’ Bartender) who’s great! We chat well. And I love a bit of banter with him. Infact all the staff there are literally ace. It’s a good time. (I’m currently writing this topless and forgot I was topless…need to grab a bra. I don’t want spaniel ears for boobies!) Bottom line, I didn’t reckon he’d read the blog, or anyone he knew would…so he’d never find out that I wrote about him. Right? First thing he mentioned when i walked in was the fact that he featured on the blog! LOL. But he was happy about it. So it was all good. Made me smile. I mean, nothing is worse to me, when i write about someone and they hate that i’ve written about them. It makes me feel uncomfy. Plus, people should love a Wunna Land feature! Hahaha. What better place to have your name splattered all over the internet than here! 🙂 It’s a written word reality show. You CAN in real life, go to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth and find Josh the Bartender. You can all be a part of Wunna Land. My kingdom, not yours! 🙂

Anyway, it was great. I had a wine. I chatted to the staff as they tinkered by me. Some guy in a pink shirt stroked my arm and gave me the last part of his larger, whilst calling me ‘baby.’ I love being called ‘Baby.’ I call people ‘Baby’ when i love them. Didn’t love him. And didn’t really want the spit part of his drink. Yet, I thanked him anyway. (I’m good like that.)

‘Was he gay or straight? I couldn’t figure it out?’

Then randomly my old school friend Nathan, who was on a boys night with his teacher friend, who used to my football for Leeds or something found me at the bar and made me a part of their lads night. Nathan was 3 years below me at school and it’s always ace to bump into him.

‘Am I ruining boys night?’

‘No. You’re making it much better! We need to do this again. Lol’

We chatted school, fishing, Vegas, football, tits, dresses, tv appearances, LA and life.

‘Who can we force to get married, so we can go on a stag do to Vegas?’

I tried to force him to teach me how to fish. He tried to force me to go drinking with him. Josh wanted to live in a log cabin for a bit. And his footballer/teacher friend took off his wedding ring! Hahaha!

Boy banter is always better than girl banter.

Shit! its 7.30am! I need to get ready and GO!






Everything Chills & More Awards

Right now, in June 2017, i’m all about ‘chills.’ I’ve had a dramatic and simply fun life. It’s been complicated at times, it’s been great, it’s been hard, but  i’ve loved it. The stories I could tell you who shock the frillies off you. I’ve felt every emotion under the sun that one little girl from the orient could go through. But i’ve achieved so much that I could pour a bubbly prosecco and *cheers* to life with a ‘thank you,’

Hasn’t June zoomed by? Infact, we’re jiggling in that time of the year, where from this point onward everything *swooshes* by at the speed of light and before you know it, we’re sat with the people we love by log fires, letting Christmas, Baileys and festive spirit, magic it’s way around us. (I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a Christmas Birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I could take or leave Summer.I adore the warmth of it. Yet, there’s just not the same kind of magic to the season.)

My chick friends and I have been shit at dieting. I say shit. But to be fair, we have been salad eating. Yet every single time the weekend comes, we guzzle pizza and scoff cocktails 😉 like ‘plus size’ is life. Lol. If i’m being honest. I’m quite happy right now and the twenty six year old ‘Hollywood’ version of ‘model’ me would’ve died before she touched a carbohydrate. She would’ve weeped for ‘donkies’ over a pretty boy that didn’t love her.

The thirty six year old version of me is COOL. I am the most comfortable I have ever been and the most emotionally stable kitten that you could ever cross paths with. I couldn’t be more glamorously comfy with who I am and what i stand for. And that took a long time. Haha! I’ve mellowed out. I’m chilled. Don’t get me wrong, I’m passionate. I’m spicy. You don’t mess with me or anyone I care about. Yet, at a time where everything couldn’t be going better for me in life…A time where you’d think that i’d totally lose the plot….I haven’t. I’m not. I’m delighting in peace, laughter and eradicating anything or anyone stressful from tinkering around me.

It’s bliss.

‘She’s literally the most Down to Earth girl you’ll ever meet, cleverly disguised as a DIVA.’

As I said before, I have busy times ahead and i’m really excited and lucky for having them. Yet i’m aced it now, when it comes to balance. Nothing seems to stress me out any more. I have it down. I focus on the things that matter to me. I express how I feel and I live. You should too! Make your choices and then what will be will be. That’s life.

I mean I just had a convo with this amazing guy about life and how we should always blame it. Lol. (This is after he found ‘first date’ hamsters on Facebook)

‘You only live once. I could die tomorrow happy, or you could be stuck with me until I’m 80 and that’s life’s fault.’

I guess, I’m just saying go with it and enjoy it.  Leave stress to the foolish.

But anyway away from that ‘Fairytale Blond’ wants a Cockapoo. (She’s going to have to do a lot of ‘COCKapooing’ to get what she wants.)  ‘Hustle Barbie’ has an Invisalign brace. (I want one to. I hate my wonky bottom tooth.) Double B is getting ready to Baywatch swimsuit it in Greece. (Jealous.) Firmonnell had a new face today. (She smashed work today.) Lady Shizzle opted for ‘wine is the answer’ and Mel has kittens!!!!


(In a shed.)

‘The pregnant cat adopted me and has now had kittens in my shed!!’

I’ve got a sore throat…and no I don’t need ‘Penis..cillin’ for it. If I could do anything right now, I would be setting off to the luxury log cabin in the forest. I love it there. It’s my happy place.

Although i’m all about ‘chills’ i’m looking for excitement. I enjoy bursts of *surprise,* yet I am very rarely shocked by anything. It would be nice to be shocked by something. It would be nice to feel a *burst* of excitement.

I will say that, I’m super honoured to have been nominated and then shortlisted for the Diversity in Media awards….I know! For ..


Crazy! I’ve gone form ‘Content of the Year’ to ‘Blogger of the Year’ in a wink. And i’m not one to focus on awards, as win or lose my blog is about my journey through life….It goes on….

Yet unlike the other awards…I want to win this one. Diversity in Media means a lot to me. I adore what it represents.

The Awards are in September…And you can vote for your favoruites NOW.

Here’s the link to VOTE for me DIRECTLY.


But if you want to see all those shortlisted you may. But still VOTE FOR ME. 😉

Scroll down to BLOGGER OF THE YEAR and click VOTE NOW, UNDER MY FACE  Simples. LOL.


Hope you have a wonderful evening.

I love you,




Friday, Free & Relationship Cut offs

DSC_6974_bok_flare (1)

I didn’t go to work today. I couldn’t. I’ve actually been told that I’m meant to be on a week’s bed rest, but I haven’t done that and instead called work and told them that I’d be back tomorrow. (Bad I know. But what can ya do. 🙂 )

Sometimes getting back into the swing of things is better. Things are changing for me so positively now, that i’m moving forward constantly and keeping life going.

Today, I feel free. I got home. I hugged, cuddled and loved my babies! I have literally missed them SO MUCH. Ruby and Junior are my entire world!!! I love them. Ruby was filled with ‘I love you Mum’s’ and gave me flowers. Junior kissed me non stop, but super missed GRANDMA. Lol.

Life just feels like it’s got back to normal. This has been the first day in MONTHS, where in which i have internally felt myself. I’m eating properly. I don’t feel groggy, ill or sick. I feel FREE. I feel happy. I still have pills running through my system, so i’m emotional and i’m still bleed for a few weeks, but lightly. But i’m free and it’s awesome because I honestly felt trapped in this bubble of negative energy, but i didn’t let it get to me too much, I always pushed it downward and heaved myself up over it! I AM A TOUGHIE!

With the end to that…I emotionally put an end to last relationship. I haven’t really spoken to him in weeks…and it hasn’t felt so bad. I just think that he didn’t really make enough of an effort in our relationship, emotionally, romantically or at all financially. I mean, if he did any of those…it would of been something. But he just didn’t and for a girl like me…ROMANCE is everything. He didn’t even get a Valentines card. Plus, paying sometimes…would be kind. We did a lot of stuff together, but i was the one that instigated, organized and paid for all that. I mean I don’t mind, because it’s done now….yet I want to get treated.

Plus,  I went through all this, which involved him, it was our child…all by myself because he was nowhere and if I can do that, then I don’t really need him and girls always want to NEED their partner. It’s sexy.  When I talked about being ill, he told me that i was being ‘Me, me, me.’ Hmm? He’s not a bad guy, I just need someone maturer and sort of more manly. I needed support during everything. He’s been really selfish. He was good with Junior…but i’m not sure what else he really invested into the relationship? I’m not sure he is…. Lol.


I’m on a rest day and i have rested! I’ve chatted to you all, so THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your messages and words of love! I appreciate it. I’m looking forward to booking the forest this Summer. I’m back at work tomorrow. I’ll be shattered, but whatever it’s one day! Plus, it’s almost payday.

I’ve seen both Keiran and Pete today. Both were lovely and both offered to look after the children, so I could relax today, since i’m headed back to work early. Both boys seem happy now, which makes co parenting much easier. I’m much happier too, as I don’t love anything more than being just ME and the babies. I’m always open to relationships, but i know exactly what I want…so i’m quite a hard pull. Like I said, it’s all about flickers and sparks…plus, i’ll know straight away.

I’ve had noodles. I’m chilling. I’m happy. I’m ready for everything and ofcourse anything…

That’s about it!

Happy Good Friday!



Back from the Forest!


JEEPERS! It’s been a while!

You have my sincerest apologies for not reporting every inch of Wunna Land for you. I’ve missed it. LOTS! However, life just got the better of me and felt so ever so rushy-rushy-rush pants, busy little bee blips that I couldn’t see my head from my tail. I’m still sort of in ‘rush’ mode and well i’ve managed to get home and see that nothing has got done. (This is why kittens should always do everything themselves.) So now i have the giveaway to re-ignite, the gifts that haven’t gone out yet to GET OUT to you, the gifts that have gone out to check up on, do a final big Xmas shop for gifts and dinner and all with the two kiddies. However, saying that…my darling Mother has taken Baby Ruby with her to the salon for a major bundle of pamper down. As i Tweeted..I am certainly now jealous of my own daughters life. There she is getting pampered at two and here I am at home, doing mounds and washing and eating cocktail sausages with Junior. I could actually only blog this now during his nap. 🙂 Life is happy, silly yet hectic. It’s madness I tells you and quite frankly this has been the busiest Christmas i have ever had! So you have my big sorries for everything. Yet al will be back on track. (Saying that, I do want to remind you that i’m in a rush simply because in a day I’m back on holiday in the forest! Therefore enough of the rambling…lets tell you all about it…)


Okay, so usually EVERY YEAR around this time we as a family go to the forest. The reason why we go this time every year is simply because it’s my birthday week, so a ‘trip to the luxury peace and harmony’ of such a place, which as you all know is of great sentimental value to me is usually gifted to me as a birthday treat each December! Yet this time it was all booked earlier so the a more delicious cabin could be ours and all in the name of ‘family.’ Meaning my ‘winkles,’ and my Sister in law ‘Sharn’s’ family were there to celebrate also. Not only has Sharn JUST had a bambino, (Baby Jack to be exact and at 3 weeks old he is LITERALLY the miniest baby I have ever witnessed in my entire life. SO CUTE. Juniors built like a bulldog. I’m lugging him around like firewood.) BUT our darling ‘Mum again’ Sahrn also has the SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME!!! IT WAS AWESOME. WE HAD THE BEST TIME EVER! And simply because we have the same birthday and because i’ve spent the most luxury time with Sharn, (we think the same way and understand the world in which we lay in) she is now my favourite member of their branch of the family! 🙂 *Wiggles-Winks* I probably even like her more than the way I entered their family. 🙂 But yes, keep up. We’re in the forest for pre-Christmas merriment and birthday joy. Get it? Got it. Glitzy! Good! 😉


Now we always get the 5* treatment whenever we venture to Sherwood, which is the only location we’ve done with Forest Holidays, yet when we do things we do them properly! We’ve been 4 times this year so far? Or wait? Is it five? The above is how ace our cabin was. We had the giant ‘sleeps 10’ cabin, which was two storeys on it’s own, yet it also had a long spot lit bridge that led to a cosy couples tree house, equipped with a outdoor swing! AMAZING! When you’re a parent all the holidays you go on have to now be ‘kid friendly’ and if they’re not, you’ll have the hardest time ever. Yet the good thing about this place is that it’s like a home away from home, filled with nature, peaceful, calm and a place where one can privately indulge in utter LUXURY. The kids get tired out and then YOU have the rest of the time to relax in the depths of the forest in luxury.

I mean we were hot tubbing, with champagne and strawberries privately out in the middle of the Sherwood Pines Forest under trees, wildlife and stars. It may have seemed cold to you, but to us we were BOILING. That hot tub is no joke. But probably because the male counterparts of the journey fiddled with the temperature. Boys like fiddling with things. They either get it right, or mess it up. Mostly mess it up. But I am always impressed with the good men who get it right.

So Sharn and I would spent the day looking after babies, as the men decided to take hour long trips to grocery stores, which a women could do in 30 minutes and practically so they could go to the pub. I mean can you imagine two men being grocery buddies searching for budget veg? They couldn’t even be bothered to look for the food. As soon as they walked in they saw a poor boy with a GIANT ‘ASK ME’ sign attached to him and well they did just that and asked HIM where everything was, so that they didn’t have to do the leg work. Lol. Then instead of quickly venturing home to tend to their tired wives, they went to the pub and didn’t come back until they were made to. EVERY DAY! 🙂

The good thing was that this meant Sharn and I had the NIGHTS! The babies went into Daddy daycare and we snuggled up with the champers in the bubbles of a warm, outdoor, forest hot tub. We talked life, love and….well…;) all sorts.  It’s hilariosu really because we al had a greta time. The boys were fun when we all managed to spend time together and Phil..(Sharn’s partner) managed to come up with these amazing ‘out of nowhere’ POSH PLATTERS. That’s what we named them. Whenever he left the hot tub, he’s conjour up some truly well presented ‘Posh Platter.’ Even is we only had sausages in, he’s tower them up like he was Gordon Ramsey. 🙂 For me, Phil always does one funny thing that has me in creases everytime we go to the forest. Last time he SINGED his own eyebrows off with his lighter by accident at 7am on the decking. (It had been turned to the largest flame on the block without his knowledge. It went whappy on him.) This time, there was a moment of my life where I was all hot tubbed out and sat indoors with Sharn and the babies one evening and we looked out the window (one whole wall is a window that looks out at the hot tub) and PHIL had a headband with a red light attached to it and whilst in his swimming trunks, he leapt out of the tub, placed himself infront of the window and MADLY began walking like an over excited, bit drunk Egyptian. 🙂 PAHAHAHA. I loved it! It is ingrained on my soul forever now. When Sharn and I do something funny, we think it’s GREAT. When the boys do, we just pull faces turn our noses up to their ‘Tom Foolery’ and call them ‘IDIOTS.’ 🙂 I ADORE BEING A GIRL.


(This was before Daddy Day care)

The holiday was cosy, restful, fun, and refreshing. I think I consumed a merry amount of wine because my head hurt when I woke. 🙂 But ah well…I’m a glamour puss. That’s my job. I can rock a hurty head like a kitten.

Our birthday’s were had and well i love having my birthday away. It always feels special and like i’m a Princess. I’m not a ‘it’s just another day’ kinda girl. It’s the day I was fricking BORN. Rubes opened my presents up for me and refused to let me say ‘To Chrissie,’ whenever I read a card. Instead I had to say ‘To Ruby, Happy Birthday.’

There’s just so much to tell you that I can’t do it all in one big blow. But i had happy times, luxury times, Mummy times, sad times and refreshing times all at once. (Yes, I did have a Wunna cry on the last day. It annoys me when that happens. But I guess it’s just the cycle. Life sort of has some glitzy giant bazooka and takes glitter ball shots at me in short sharp spurts. I’m try to duck, dive and weave around them, but I was never that active. Kittens are built for pleasure not speed. In the end, one got me and I wept. 🙂 *Loser* And the worst thing was that I did it at night in front of people. Hahaha. In a green robe and an updo 🙂 )

But that was the only sad moment, other then when I left. They were happy tears because my experience was so lovely. Things in my mind, sort of came to light during that trip. The forest always helps me to see and think freely. I’m quite clear with my way forward and the funny thing is, no-one knows it but me. Just a lot of watching, hearing and absorbing took place. Now that i’m home, that hearing, watching and absorbing, can be placed together in a jigsaw fashion. That jigsaw symbolises my future.


BEST BIRTHDAY CARD EVER. I’m obviously OBSESSED WITH IT. Thank you Sharn! You can always tell if I like something because it immediately gets it’s picture taken and plonked up on every social media channel possible.


Wine in the woods on our Bday!


Oh gosh!! There was a funny moment! ON THURSDAY NIGHT we thought we’d take part in QUIZ NIGHT! We’ve never done it before and well there was only us and another team, so it was kinda good that we did do it. 🙂

Now, I can’t tell if we just don’t have working brains or the Quiz questions were harder than general knowledge, but it really wasn’t that easy! 🙂 Hilarious though because we ended up having to GUESS them all but maybe 2 that we knew. The only answers I knew were ‘I Should be so Lucky’ and ‘Mel B.’ Says it all really. 🙂 Oh now, I’m selling myself short. I also randomly got this other question right, where you had to guess what ‘WORD’ could be placed infront of ‘these three other words and still make sense.’ You’ve all heard that question before. The answer was ‘OVER.’ We didn’t win. We came second by 3 points. The other team had a Doctor in their team (Lol) and got all the same wrong answers as us. Yet because their Status Quo knowledge was far superior..they snagged he winning spot in the bag! I ACTUALLY NOW LOVE QUIZ NIGHT. Sharn wa good at the Quiz, here guesses where always right. Phil was good at guessing measurements and ‘The Bee Gee’s.’ and Keiran…he was good at BOASTING and show boating to the other team when we guessed an answer, even if we weren’t even sure if it was nearly right. Lol. We even had to stop him spelling in the end. He had had an earlier brain blip in the holiday where he was rambling on about something or other? But he got all his phrases mixed up and managed to meander the two…’Practice what you preach’ and ‘Reap what you sow’ into one. ‘Preach what you sow.’ I guess that works in his life. It did at the quiz! 🙂 I stated that we should sent him to MENSA and he looked at me cute, but puzzled, but with mild excitement like MENSA could’ve been some Club in Ibiza. ‘No babe it’s for those with a GENUIS title.’

The quiz, was fun, and of course I playfully moaned at site manager Luke throughout the whole thing because the questions needed to be more ‘Current’ or about ‘Celebrities.’ We still won wine. I want one NOW. And we also managed to make friends with the winning team, who had the same dress sense…which ended in this picture.


They’ve invited us over for Christmas dinner 🙂

It was like a much thicker (0n our part) drunken, ‘Family Fortunes’ in Christmas jumpers. They were much posher and had a Chihuahua. Ruby coloured in ‘Cinderella’ throughout the whole quiz and then tables and then anything she could find. Forest holidays don’t mind, we’re like one of their fave families because we go so much. We get the superstar treatment. Lol. At one point for attention she smeared ketchup on her hands and pretended it was blood for attention. 🙂 OH LORD!!! I wiped it off, after a moment of panic and then gave her more things to colour in.

LIFE IS GOOD RIGHT NOW. Even though I can’t fit everything in and get everything done. My Mum giggles and says ‘Don’t you have like a hundred Baby Daddies that can look after the children for an hour?’  (One’ s partying and the other is working. Men for you..and they wonder why we’re always looking out for a hero…because there is hardly any going around.) But whatever it’s Christmas!! Next year is NEW for me. What’s the saying? When life gives you lemons…..slice them up and garnish them on cocktails. 😉

Merry Xmas!

Giveaway coming up NEXT!

(You will be getting your gifts shortly.)

A calm before the storm…



Happy Sunday, my brinking blooms of ‘boom’ fest. (I have no idea what i’m referring to, when i speak to you in such a manner. Yet just go with it, it works for me. Plus, that’s what blogs are about…emptying and sharing the glorious shite 🙂 that lays in your pretty mind, for a hopeful audience, who may be inspired by your delicious words or documents.)

I’ve just done my face and had my darling Baby Ruby, wrapped up warm and delivered to ‘Daddy Pete,’ who’ll have her for the whole day today, since i’ll be taking my gorgeous little glamour puss away for 4 days, with the family back to the forest tomorrow.

Yesterday, was all about ‘chill.’ Not one thing was tended to, other than ourselves and sometimes you just NEED a day like that in order to keep the peace a flowing in your system. It’s sort of like a re-charge of jolly lost energy.  We laid in, giggled with one another, did breakfast, stayed in our ‘comfies’ all day and watched movies…(some weird one with ‘Marlon Brando’ dressed as a posh ship captain, with  half naked Tahitian ladies, bonking all the sailors out of kindess…Then ‘Double Jeopardy,’ after an old Eddie Murphy movie, where i believe he was talking to fairies, under his little girls purple blanket?) The day was littered with true love, mummy-hood, hopes for the future, laughs, chats and naps. All 3 of us managed to take a nap at some point. #excitingstuff Keiran claimed to be going to the gym, yet instead put on his slippers, covered himself with a blanket and went to sleep on the sofa. #oldmanthompson My Robotic Ken doll was out of action.

The rest of the evening, i delighted in playing with my tiny Baby Ruby. Y’know, my love for my little girl is endless and i never thought i could love her any more with another inch of my being. Yet weirdly, since knowing that i’ll be having a brand new baby boy, my love for her has multiplied massively and i have no idea why? Is it because i feel all mummified and delicious? I’m having another child and i’m simply filled with this tremendous glow of ‘oooh laa.’ Is it because she’ll now be my ‘big’ girl, my first born, the heir to my ‘Wunna’ empire, my only little glamour puss. (She was so cute this morning, pretending to do her face in a portable dressing mirror and pouting.) I just don’t know? But right now, i’m filled with love for her…and so utterly happy that i have a little baby boy on the way. It’s magical. And as the story goes, makes our little family of complete balance. Mummy, Daddy, Daughter, Son….and all in a year and a half. 🙂 I’m a passionate girl and not one bit a slow mover. When i want i want. When i don’t i don’t. I’m far less panicky, now that i’m older and wiser and simply because i know how to work my life now 🙂 and i know that great things just end up coming my way. I totter forward, with whole heart and usually a wine (when not preggo)…letting my natural flow of life work it’s magic…well it only works after a big old *push-stomp-and kick* anyway. 🙂 I’m like that vending machine that you have to *smack* repeatedly, in order to get the ‘goodie’  that you’ve already paid for, to come out. 🙂 I just have a tremendous amount of charm that goes alongside it…with boobs, a smile and a stint on the telly, which makes you put up with me a little longer than you ever wanted to.    To be honest, i don’t actually think that at all. I’m quite easy going and well i’m a chica who always knows what’s she’s doing. Everything that seems accidental, usually is deliberate and everything that’s deliberate…often goes wrong. 🙂

Y’know, when i’m happy, i laugh the hardest. When i’m angry, i’ll karate chop you out of existence. If i like, i LOVE  and if i don’t…you’ll know about it and once i don’t, i’m not weak, fake or fickle enough to bend backwards and forgive you. But right now and because i’m wearing my more positive head of extensions i’m grateful for everything i have in life and ready to rocket forward to achieve want i want, It’s important to go get and make your dreams come true. Turn your thoughts into a reality and work hard at being a success…no matter what it is you wish to be life. Although, i’m great at that, i’m lacked *push-push* of recent and only given 50%. Maybe even 40%. So, if only pushing 40%, gives me the success of what occured last year. Then actually working hard, on full fuel determination will no doubt get me where i want to be. It worked in Hollywood. it worked when i first got back home to England and so it’ll work now. (I just need a coffee first. *Wiggle-wink-hair-toss-beckon.*) I tend to get too comfortable when i’m happy and enjoy it with utter celebration. Then i’m like, ‘Shit, i have dreams. I’m meant to be taking over the world with my fabulousity, being on the telly, making money, opening a business….inspiring the world,’ so i tuck my baby back in the buggy, do my hair, finish off making the tea, kiss my husband, adjust my bra, and do a ‘means business’ face. This year…i’ve got the ‘means business’ face down…however as always it’s cleverly disguised under the safety of my ‘I’m calm,’ Bimbo mask. I actually don’t feel that safe under my ‘bimbo’ mask, like i used to. Maybe because i’ve come to terms with the fact that i’m not really that and hiding behind something that you actually aren’t really isn’t that  clever and even worse….transparent. #shithidingplace

Things are good today. Looks a bit snowy, yet with the sun beaming through the windows. Rubes is happy. I’m enjoying having a Sunday and then getting ready to pack for our forest holiday tomorrow. (We were there three weeks ago and just had to go again.

Keiran’s oddly excited over the fact that there’s a bit of snow on top of a few jolly cars. He’ s just got back from the gym and now downstairs, doing Lord knows what, whilst i’m blogging. I was actually far more chipper this morning,  whilst we were all laid in bed, just waking up. Rubes was chatting away and being a bit insane for a Sunday morning really, whilst i was topless and rolling over, like the hag that i am, trying to wake up. Then my darling husband, as lovely as he is, decided to tell me that he was going to hang out with his guy friends, (who i distinctly remember hating, aside from one) for a drink to celebrate the fact that he’s going to be having a baby boy. Which is really just an excuse for them to all hang out, get pissed, get fucked up and watch all my friends and I’s ex-boyfriends kick a ball around for money on a big screen…yet the excuse they used was ‘my bump.’ Nice. Classy. Thoughtful. I enjoy it when men foolishly position themselves in a manner that leads them straight to the dog house. That’s why woman are by far the smarter sex. If you don’t want trouble then don’t take the foolish steps that lead to it.

So, yeah…that’s annoyed me really and no doubt i’ll voice it. Y’know, whenever they are mentioned and since that chunk of time last year, they have never been mentioned in my house, as i’ve merrily cut out them of my life…a  negative surge of gunk, pours over me and because it reminds me of a really awful time in my relationship and i don’t mean a ‘bad hair day’ awful, i mean  it was REALLY awful. I think of how horrific my now husband was to me during that time, how poorly they all treated me, talked badly about me, lied about me, back chatted about me, disrespected me, made fun of me and tried to breakdown my entire marriage. Whilst Keiran joined in, whenever he was angry at me. I had no support and I felt lost and it was the only time in my entire relationship where i truely thought i had made a massive mistake in being with him, because i didn’t realize that he came as a package..a negative one, that i couldn’t get away from…no matter how hard i tried. I have good friends, who are positive, respectful, successful, giving and kind…to both of us always. His friends are the opposite.

On the whole, it was a terrible time for me and in that time i only really had Rubes and my mum to guide me. Like i even went through an entire eating disorder through that entire phase and Keiran was so self obssessed, angry, emotionally absent and ‘party boy’ hurtful at that point that he didn’t even notice. He was so clouded and filled with negativity, that he couldn’t even see what it was doing to his home life, his foundation, his soon to be wife and family. He didn’t even care if it broke up our entire marriage at the time and to see how happy he was at the wedding and how wonderful a husband he is now and that’s with them being pushed out of our relationship, shows to me what a difference it makes. They don’t do anything productive with each other. Only time waste and party.

So, to them it was just a mildy bad time. To me…it was one of the worst times of my life. I went through a lot and had to search quite flipping far for all the strength i had left, as i was getting married in the weeks to come. Not fun at all. And the fact that they now try and text me and pretend like ‘nothing’s happened and try to smear things over with cheesy ‘lets just forgive and forget,’… makes me laugh. I don’t think so. I’d prefer for them to imagine bridge…maybe a glitzy one… Then imagine fucking up by it and then having to set it on fire and watch it burn forward, away and without them. Keiran mght be stupid enough to hang out with people who did that to me, our marriage and who say awful things about me behind my back. Which i find disloyal. Yet he’s the kinda boy, who doesn’t care what you really think, as long as you are nice to his face and make his time with you seem as merry, as can be. He’ll take you at face value, regardless as to what you actually think and that’s done deliberately, just incase what you think isn’t what he wants to hear, meaning it will hurt him. But they’ll never ever be a part of my life, or anything that is my life because i  am not so stupid to associate with people of that sort, when i have such a bright future ahead of me and i’m gonna go get it, without wasting my time. He can make his own decisions and learn from them whenever he chooses. (Like before he left he explained to him how i felt about  the matter and refused to *kiss* him goodbye and he to acts like he’s completely forgotten everything that we all went through last year and how terrible it was, because he just doesn’t want to face fact. I don’t it when people ‘pretend’ forget things that have happened…it’s not the smartest way forward, now is it.)

Excluding all that, life is actually great and yeah, i’ve had a moan and voiced how i feel, but i’m happy to have what i have and thankful for every moment that i breathe that bit of magical air, that keeps my kitty cat heart a pumping and my soul fluttering forward. I’m a lucky girl. I have a beautiful family, daughter and baby on the way…a career that is about to regain consciously hopefully :)…i have a telly show a coming on your telly box, a book to promote and good hard earnt moola, a promising it’s way to me. I feel like i have everything and as long as i stay positive and cut all that is negative, or anything that brings negatively into my world OUT…then the rest of this year will go down just the way i want it to. I learnt from wonderful people the way to become a success and i intend to follow suite with their guidance. (That’s what the smart people do…then they add their own shimmie to keep it original. 🙂 )

But yes…i’ve had a little weep (*rolls eyes*) whilst writing this, but all cries are good cries, as it’s a release of unwanted energy, that makes way for ‘only good.’ I miss Rubes so much right now and just want her here with me.

I’m meant to be packing to go to the forest, yet i’ll throw a few things in the wash and make a bag up later. I took far too much last time and well i’m just not in a packing mood right now. I’ve lost my holiday excitement. It’s like i just can’t get away from drama. We haven’t even bought all the food etc to go. And right now…i’m not bothered really. He can do it.

Anyway, i  just wanted to say THANK YOU SOOO MUCH to each and every one of you who has sent us a ‘Congratulations’ tweet, inbox, text, call or facebook message. It means a lot to me and well your well wished are a delight and are gratefully recieved with a wink. We even got a Tweet  from the beautiful Melanie Sykes, who congratulated us on the bump being a boy. How lovely! See..my little boy is pulling an audience already. 🙂

Lord help us all!

I love you, but you know that!

Have a great day, I’m gonna enjoy this bit of peace that i have before it runs out…

Chrissie x

ps, I’ve deliberately put a ‘sexy’ picture up and simply because over my entire time of blogging, my most successful post (and this really is of ALL TIME) was not one of my best written pieces, but of a ‘Nuts Bedroom Babe’ picture. Plus, so what…it’s sexy and the pregnant ompa-lumpa that i am now, enjoys to look back at that time with a ‘yeah i did have a waist line, under this bump’. 🙂

Big blowie kisses x

I’m off to the forest tomorrow… I hate that a downer’s been put on it. But whatever, I’m still excited.