I’ve Got My Va Voom Back!

I’m passed the feeling of shitting myself and now i’m utterly EXCITED for my Friday! I had an evening that kinda made me feel really confident about myself…and when a girl feels that way, she glows, she radiates….I know i’m currently radiating because my world right now is filled with inboxes messages from exes, or previous husbands, or new guys with gusto and my strut is currently *paused* every few minutes by a stranger or an old friend giving me the wink. It’s not about the inbox fill up, or playful winks from strangers…as i’m ignoring them all politely. (I’m rubbish like that.) It’s all about the ‘GLOW.’ It’s the GLOW that we chicks get when we feel confident in our strut. I want all girls to feel it, every moment of every day. It makes us attractive. It’s sexy, because that glow radiates makes us super POWERFUL and no matter what ages, shape or size you are, nothing is sassier than that whoosh of of ‘ooh laa.’ (Boys will honestly be tripping over their willies as they pass you by.) Oh and FYI/ NOTHING IS BETTER than exes messaging you, who you now care nothing for, when you have that ‘whoosh’ of ‘ooh laa.’ I’ve looked at the message, said nothing and beamed with my ‘Cya, don’t wanna be ya dance.’ If a guy wanted you that badly, he would’ve made the effort to keep you and HEY, maybe not chosen another girl over you! Lol. I AM GLOWING.

Anyway, yesterday was great because yesterday was the day that my guy friend David (who’s currently auditioning for Celeb Hotels) decided to obtain a mattress from a granny, shove it in his boot and simply for banter because ‘Firmonnell’ told him to, place it on the top of ‘Fairytales’ car (her cream mini) and snapchat it to everyone.

Firmonnell: ‘I don’t know why it’s so funny. But it is!’

IT WAS HILARIOUS! This is how i know i have ace friends. Nothing is better than childish pranks. I actually thought that he’d only plonked the dirty mattress on her car for snapchat picture taking purposes….But no…it sat there ALL DAY.

Hustle Barbie: ‘Fairytale…Why have you got a giant dirty mattress on the roof of your car? ‘

Fairytale: ‘It’s still fucking there!!!!!’

Me: HHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I’m feeling cheeky today! I feel like i want to prank the world and just deal with the consequences afterward! Lol You’ve got to love a laugh. You’ve got to love a bit of banter. And it’s the simpliest things that crack me up.

Last night, after the babies had tinkered to sleep and my mum had come round to cuddle them…I had a bit of work to take care of, for my weekend. I’m excited for my Friday now. I was meant to blog, but instead, i walked down to ‘Ego’ for a quick white wine. I needed a chill, a nightcap and well i’m not really going to be able to have a drink tonight…as i’m sure i’ll be rushing about headlessly. (I’m also excited because i’m about to embark on what feels like a whole bunch OF TIME off work….which means i can fit ‘good times’ in and refuel.)

But anyway, I went to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth. I go all the time. I love it there. I love the staff there. It’s a good place to find me. I always go on my own for a chill and just sit at the bar by myself. Lol.

So, I obviously opened my last blog with Josh (the ‘Ego’ Bartender) who’s great! We chat well. And I love a bit of banter with him. Infact all the staff there are literally ace. It’s a good time. (I’m currently writing this topless and forgot I was topless…need to grab a bra. I don’t want spaniel ears for boobies!) Bottom line, I didn’t reckon he’d read the blog, or anyone he knew would…so he’d never find out that I wrote about him. Right? First thing he mentioned when i walked in was the fact that he featured on the blog! LOL. But he was happy about it. So it was all good. Made me smile. I mean, nothing is worse to me, when i write about someone and they hate that i’ve written about them. It makes me feel uncomfy. Plus, people should love a Wunna Land feature! Hahaha. What better place to have your name splattered all over the internet than here! 🙂 It’s a written word reality show. You CAN in real life, go to ‘Ego’ in Ackworth and find Josh the Bartender. You can all be a part of Wunna Land. My kingdom, not yours! 🙂

Anyway, it was great. I had a wine. I chatted to the staff as they tinkered by me. Some guy in a pink shirt stroked my arm and gave me the last part of his larger, whilst calling me ‘baby.’ I love being called ‘Baby.’ I call people ‘Baby’ when i love them. Didn’t love him. And didn’t really want the spit part of his drink. Yet, I thanked him anyway. (I’m good like that.)

‘Was he gay or straight? I couldn’t figure it out?’

Then randomly my old school friend Nathan, who was on a boys night with his teacher friend, who used to my football for Leeds or something found me at the bar and made me a part of their lads night. Nathan was 3 years below me at school and it’s always ace to bump into him.

‘Am I ruining boys night?’

‘No. You’re making it much better! We need to do this again. Lol’

We chatted school, fishing, Vegas, football, tits, dresses, tv appearances, LA and life.

‘Who can we force to get married, so we can go on a stag do to Vegas?’

I tried to force him to teach me how to fish. He tried to force me to go drinking with him. Josh wanted to live in a log cabin for a bit. And his footballer/teacher friend took off his wedding ring! Hahaha!

Boy banter is always better than girl banter.

Shit! its 7.30am! I need to get ready and GO!

 

 

 

 

 

Everything Chills & More Awards

Right now, in June 2017, i’m all about ‘chills.’ I’ve had a dramatic and simply fun life. It’s been complicated at times, it’s been great, it’s been hard, but  i’ve loved it. The stories I could tell you who shock the frillies off you. I’ve felt every emotion under the sun that one little girl from the orient could go through. But i’ve achieved so much that I could pour a bubbly prosecco and *cheers* to life with a ‘thank you,’

Hasn’t June zoomed by? Infact, we’re jiggling in that time of the year, where from this point onward everything *swooshes* by at the speed of light and before you know it, we’re sat with the people we love by log fires, letting Christmas, Baileys and festive spirit, magic it’s way around us. (I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a Christmas Birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I could take or leave Summer.I adore the warmth of it. Yet, there’s just not the same kind of magic to the season.)

My chick friends and I have been shit at dieting. I say shit. But to be fair, we have been salad eating. Yet every single time the weekend comes, we guzzle pizza and scoff cocktails 😉 like ‘plus size’ is life. Lol. If i’m being honest. I’m quite happy right now and the twenty six year old ‘Hollywood’ version of ‘model’ me would’ve died before she touched a carbohydrate. She would’ve weeped for ‘donkies’ over a pretty boy that didn’t love her.

The thirty six year old version of me is COOL. I am the most comfortable I have ever been and the most emotionally stable kitten that you could ever cross paths with. I couldn’t be more glamorously comfy with who I am and what i stand for. And that took a long time. Haha! I’ve mellowed out. I’m chilled. Don’t get me wrong, I’m passionate. I’m spicy. You don’t mess with me or anyone I care about. Yet, at a time where everything couldn’t be going better for me in life…A time where you’d think that i’d totally lose the plot….I haven’t. I’m not. I’m delighting in peace, laughter and eradicating anything or anyone stressful from tinkering around me.

It’s bliss.

‘She’s literally the most Down to Earth girl you’ll ever meet, cleverly disguised as a DIVA.’

As I said before, I have busy times ahead and i’m really excited and lucky for having them. Yet i’m aced it now, when it comes to balance. Nothing seems to stress me out any more. I have it down. I focus on the things that matter to me. I express how I feel and I live. You should too! Make your choices and then what will be will be. That’s life.

I mean I just had a convo with this amazing guy about life and how we should always blame it. Lol. (This is after he found ‘first date’ hamsters on Facebook)

‘You only live once. I could die tomorrow happy, or you could be stuck with me until I’m 80 and that’s life’s fault.’

I guess, I’m just saying go with it and enjoy it.  Leave stress to the foolish.

But anyway away from that ‘Fairytale Blond’ wants a Cockapoo. (She’s going to have to do a lot of ‘COCKapooing’ to get what she wants.)  ‘Hustle Barbie’ has an Invisalign brace. (I want one to. I hate my wonky bottom tooth.) Double B is getting ready to Baywatch swimsuit it in Greece. (Jealous.) Firmonnell had a new face today. (She smashed work today.) Lady Shizzle opted for ‘wine is the answer’ and Mel has kittens!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(In a shed.)

‘The pregnant cat adopted me and has now had kittens in my shed!!’

I’ve got a sore throat…and no I don’t need ‘Penis..cillin’ for it. If I could do anything right now, I would be setting off to the luxury log cabin in the forest. I love it there. It’s my happy place.

Although i’m all about ‘chills’ i’m looking for excitement. I enjoy bursts of *surprise,* yet I am very rarely shocked by anything. It would be nice to be shocked by something. It would be nice to feel a *burst* of excitement.

I will say that, I’m super honoured to have been nominated and then shortlisted for the Diversity in Media awards….I know! For ..

‘BLOGGER OF THE YEAR.’

Crazy! I’ve gone form ‘Content of the Year’ to ‘Blogger of the Year’ in a wink. And i’m not one to focus on awards, as win or lose my blog is about my journey through life….It goes on….

Yet unlike the other awards…I want to win this one. Diversity in Media means a lot to me. I adore what it represents.

The Awards are in September…And you can vote for your favoruites NOW.

Here’s the link to VOTE for me DIRECTLY.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DIMA2017 

But if you want to see all those shortlisted you may. But still VOTE FOR ME. 😉

Scroll down to BLOGGER OF THE YEAR and click VOTE NOW, UNDER MY FACE  Simples. LOL.

http://www.diversityinmediaawards.com/shortlisted-individuals.html 

Hope you have a wonderful evening.

I love you,

Chrissie

 

 

Friday, Free & Relationship Cut offs

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I didn’t go to work today. I couldn’t. I’ve actually been told that I’m meant to be on a week’s bed rest, but I haven’t done that and instead called work and told them that I’d be back tomorrow. (Bad I know. But what can ya do. 🙂 )

Sometimes getting back into the swing of things is better. Things are changing for me so positively now, that i’m moving forward constantly and keeping life going.

Today, I feel free. I got home. I hugged, cuddled and loved my babies! I have literally missed them SO MUCH. Ruby and Junior are my entire world!!! I love them. Ruby was filled with ‘I love you Mum’s’ and gave me flowers. Junior kissed me non stop, but super missed GRANDMA. Lol.

Life just feels like it’s got back to normal. This has been the first day in MONTHS, where in which i have internally felt myself. I’m eating properly. I don’t feel groggy, ill or sick. I feel FREE. I feel happy. I still have pills running through my system, so i’m emotional and i’m still bleed for a few weeks, but lightly. But i’m free and it’s awesome because I honestly felt trapped in this bubble of negative energy, but i didn’t let it get to me too much, I always pushed it downward and heaved myself up over it! I AM A TOUGHIE!

With the end to that…I emotionally put an end to last relationship. I haven’t really spoken to him in weeks…and it hasn’t felt so bad. I just think that he didn’t really make enough of an effort in our relationship, emotionally, romantically or at all financially. I mean, if he did any of those…it would of been something. But he just didn’t and for a girl like me…ROMANCE is everything. He didn’t even get a Valentines card. Plus, paying sometimes…would be kind. We did a lot of stuff together, but i was the one that instigated, organized and paid for all that. I mean I don’t mind, because it’s done now….yet I want to get treated.

Plus,  I went through all this, which involved him, it was our child…all by myself because he was nowhere and if I can do that, then I don’t really need him and girls always want to NEED their partner. It’s sexy.  When I talked about being ill, he told me that i was being ‘Me, me, me.’ Hmm? He’s not a bad guy, I just need someone maturer and sort of more manly. I needed support during everything. He’s been really selfish. He was good with Junior…but i’m not sure what else he really invested into the relationship? I’m not sure he is…. Lol.

Anyway…

I’m on a rest day and i have rested! I’ve chatted to you all, so THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your messages and words of love! I appreciate it. I’m looking forward to booking the forest this Summer. I’m back at work tomorrow. I’ll be shattered, but whatever it’s one day! Plus, it’s almost payday.

I’ve seen both Keiran and Pete today. Both were lovely and both offered to look after the children, so I could relax today, since i’m headed back to work early. Both boys seem happy now, which makes co parenting much easier. I’m much happier too, as I don’t love anything more than being just ME and the babies. I’m always open to relationships, but i know exactly what I want…so i’m quite a hard pull. Like I said, it’s all about flickers and sparks…plus, i’ll know straight away.

I’ve had noodles. I’m chilling. I’m happy. I’m ready for everything and ofcourse anything…

That’s about it!

Happy Good Friday!

 

 

Back from the Forest!

 

JEEPERS! It’s been a while!

You have my sincerest apologies for not reporting every inch of Wunna Land for you. I’ve missed it. LOTS! However, life just got the better of me and felt so ever so rushy-rushy-rush pants, busy little bee blips that I couldn’t see my head from my tail. I’m still sort of in ‘rush’ mode and well i’ve managed to get home and see that nothing has got done. (This is why kittens should always do everything themselves.) So now i have the giveaway to re-ignite, the gifts that haven’t gone out yet to GET OUT to you, the gifts that have gone out to check up on, do a final big Xmas shop for gifts and dinner and all with the two kiddies. However, saying that…my darling Mother has taken Baby Ruby with her to the salon for a major bundle of pamper down. As i Tweeted..I am certainly now jealous of my own daughters life. There she is getting pampered at two and here I am at home, doing mounds and washing and eating cocktail sausages with Junior. I could actually only blog this now during his nap. 🙂 Life is happy, silly yet hectic. It’s madness I tells you and quite frankly this has been the busiest Christmas i have ever had! So you have my big sorries for everything. Yet al will be back on track. (Saying that, I do want to remind you that i’m in a rush simply because in a day I’m back on holiday in the forest! Therefore enough of the rambling…lets tell you all about it…)

 

Okay, so usually EVERY YEAR around this time we as a family go to the forest. The reason why we go this time every year is simply because it’s my birthday week, so a ‘trip to the luxury peace and harmony’ of such a place, which as you all know is of great sentimental value to me is usually gifted to me as a birthday treat each December! Yet this time it was all booked earlier so the a more delicious cabin could be ours and all in the name of ‘family.’ Meaning my ‘winkles,’ and my Sister in law ‘Sharn’s’ family were there to celebrate also. Not only has Sharn JUST had a bambino, (Baby Jack to be exact and at 3 weeks old he is LITERALLY the miniest baby I have ever witnessed in my entire life. SO CUTE. Juniors built like a bulldog. I’m lugging him around like firewood.) BUT our darling ‘Mum again’ Sahrn also has the SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME!!! IT WAS AWESOME. WE HAD THE BEST TIME EVER! And simply because we have the same birthday and because i’ve spent the most luxury time with Sharn, (we think the same way and understand the world in which we lay in) she is now my favourite member of their branch of the family! 🙂 *Wiggles-Winks* I probably even like her more than the way I entered their family. 🙂 But yes, keep up. We’re in the forest for pre-Christmas merriment and birthday joy. Get it? Got it. Glitzy! Good! 😉

 

Now we always get the 5* treatment whenever we venture to Sherwood, which is the only location we’ve done with Forest Holidays, yet when we do things we do them properly! We’ve been 4 times this year so far? Or wait? Is it five? The above is how ace our cabin was. We had the giant ‘sleeps 10’ cabin, which was two storeys on it’s own, yet it also had a long spot lit bridge that led to a cosy couples tree house, equipped with a outdoor swing! AMAZING! When you’re a parent all the holidays you go on have to now be ‘kid friendly’ and if they’re not, you’ll have the hardest time ever. Yet the good thing about this place is that it’s like a home away from home, filled with nature, peaceful, calm and a place where one can privately indulge in utter LUXURY. The kids get tired out and then YOU have the rest of the time to relax in the depths of the forest in luxury.

I mean we were hot tubbing, with champagne and strawberries privately out in the middle of the Sherwood Pines Forest under trees, wildlife and stars. It may have seemed cold to you, but to us we were BOILING. That hot tub is no joke. But probably because the male counterparts of the journey fiddled with the temperature. Boys like fiddling with things. They either get it right, or mess it up. Mostly mess it up. But I am always impressed with the good men who get it right.

So Sharn and I would spent the day looking after babies, as the men decided to take hour long trips to grocery stores, which a women could do in 30 minutes and practically so they could go to the pub. I mean can you imagine two men being grocery buddies searching for budget veg? They couldn’t even be bothered to look for the food. As soon as they walked in they saw a poor boy with a GIANT ‘ASK ME’ sign attached to him and well they did just that and asked HIM where everything was, so that they didn’t have to do the leg work. Lol. Then instead of quickly venturing home to tend to their tired wives, they went to the pub and didn’t come back until they were made to. EVERY DAY! 🙂

The good thing was that this meant Sharn and I had the NIGHTS! The babies went into Daddy daycare and we snuggled up with the champers in the bubbles of a warm, outdoor, forest hot tub. We talked life, love and….well…;) all sorts.  It’s hilariosu really because we al had a greta time. The boys were fun when we all managed to spend time together and Phil..(Sharn’s partner) managed to come up with these amazing ‘out of nowhere’ POSH PLATTERS. That’s what we named them. Whenever he left the hot tub, he’s conjour up some truly well presented ‘Posh Platter.’ Even is we only had sausages in, he’s tower them up like he was Gordon Ramsey. 🙂 For me, Phil always does one funny thing that has me in creases everytime we go to the forest. Last time he SINGED his own eyebrows off with his lighter by accident at 7am on the decking. (It had been turned to the largest flame on the block without his knowledge. It went whappy on him.) This time, there was a moment of my life where I was all hot tubbed out and sat indoors with Sharn and the babies one evening and we looked out the window (one whole wall is a window that looks out at the hot tub) and PHIL had a headband with a red light attached to it and whilst in his swimming trunks, he leapt out of the tub, placed himself infront of the window and MADLY began walking like an over excited, bit drunk Egyptian. 🙂 PAHAHAHA. I loved it! It is ingrained on my soul forever now. When Sharn and I do something funny, we think it’s GREAT. When the boys do, we just pull faces turn our noses up to their ‘Tom Foolery’ and call them ‘IDIOTS.’ 🙂 I ADORE BEING A GIRL.

 

(This was before Daddy Day care)

The holiday was cosy, restful, fun, and refreshing. I think I consumed a merry amount of wine because my head hurt when I woke. 🙂 But ah well…I’m a glamour puss. That’s my job. I can rock a hurty head like a kitten.

Our birthday’s were had and well i love having my birthday away. It always feels special and like i’m a Princess. I’m not a ‘it’s just another day’ kinda girl. It’s the day I was fricking BORN. Rubes opened my presents up for me and refused to let me say ‘To Chrissie,’ whenever I read a card. Instead I had to say ‘To Ruby, Happy Birthday.’

There’s just so much to tell you that I can’t do it all in one big blow. But i had happy times, luxury times, Mummy times, sad times and refreshing times all at once. (Yes, I did have a Wunna cry on the last day. It annoys me when that happens. But I guess it’s just the cycle. Life sort of has some glitzy giant bazooka and takes glitter ball shots at me in short sharp spurts. I’m try to duck, dive and weave around them, but I was never that active. Kittens are built for pleasure not speed. In the end, one got me and I wept. 🙂 *Loser* And the worst thing was that I did it at night in front of people. Hahaha. In a green robe and an updo 🙂 )

But that was the only sad moment, other then when I left. They were happy tears because my experience was so lovely. Things in my mind, sort of came to light during that trip. The forest always helps me to see and think freely. I’m quite clear with my way forward and the funny thing is, no-one knows it but me. Just a lot of watching, hearing and absorbing took place. Now that i’m home, that hearing, watching and absorbing, can be placed together in a jigsaw fashion. That jigsaw symbolises my future.

MY BIRTHDAY WAS ACE!

BEST BIRTHDAY CARD EVER. I’m obviously OBSESSED WITH IT. Thank you Sharn! You can always tell if I like something because it immediately gets it’s picture taken and plonked up on every social media channel possible.

 

Wine in the woods on our Bday!

 

Oh gosh!! There was a funny moment! ON THURSDAY NIGHT we thought we’d take part in QUIZ NIGHT! We’ve never done it before and well there was only us and another team, so it was kinda good that we did do it. 🙂

Now, I can’t tell if we just don’t have working brains or the Quiz questions were harder than general knowledge, but it really wasn’t that easy! 🙂 Hilarious though because we ended up having to GUESS them all but maybe 2 that we knew. The only answers I knew were ‘I Should be so Lucky’ and ‘Mel B.’ Says it all really. 🙂 Oh now, I’m selling myself short. I also randomly got this other question right, where you had to guess what ‘WORD’ could be placed infront of ‘these three other words and still make sense.’ You’ve all heard that question before. The answer was ‘OVER.’ We didn’t win. We came second by 3 points. The other team had a Doctor in their team (Lol) and got all the same wrong answers as us. Yet because their Status Quo knowledge was far superior..they snagged he winning spot in the bag! I ACTUALLY NOW LOVE QUIZ NIGHT. Sharn wa good at the Quiz, here guesses where always right. Phil was good at guessing measurements and ‘The Bee Gee’s.’ and Keiran…he was good at BOASTING and show boating to the other team when we guessed an answer, even if we weren’t even sure if it was nearly right. Lol. We even had to stop him spelling in the end. He had had an earlier brain blip in the holiday where he was rambling on about something or other? But he got all his phrases mixed up and managed to meander the two…’Practice what you preach’ and ‘Reap what you sow’ into one. ‘Preach what you sow.’ I guess that works in his life. It did at the quiz! 🙂 I stated that we should sent him to MENSA and he looked at me cute, but puzzled, but with mild excitement like MENSA could’ve been some Club in Ibiza. ‘No babe it’s for those with a GENUIS title.’

The quiz, was fun, and of course I playfully moaned at site manager Luke throughout the whole thing because the questions needed to be more ‘Current’ or about ‘Celebrities.’ We still won wine. I want one NOW. And we also managed to make friends with the winning team, who had the same dress sense…which ended in this picture.

 

They’ve invited us over for Christmas dinner 🙂

It was like a much thicker (0n our part) drunken, ‘Family Fortunes’ in Christmas jumpers. They were much posher and had a Chihuahua. Ruby coloured in ‘Cinderella’ throughout the whole quiz and then tables and then anything she could find. Forest holidays don’t mind, we’re like one of their fave families because we go so much. We get the superstar treatment. Lol. At one point for attention she smeared ketchup on her hands and pretended it was blood for attention. 🙂 OH LORD!!! I wiped it off, after a moment of panic and then gave her more things to colour in.

LIFE IS GOOD RIGHT NOW. Even though I can’t fit everything in and get everything done. My Mum giggles and says ‘Don’t you have like a hundred Baby Daddies that can look after the children for an hour?’  (One’ s partying and the other is working. Men for you..and they wonder why we’re always looking out for a hero…because there is hardly any going around.) But whatever it’s Christmas!! Next year is NEW for me. What’s the saying? When life gives you lemons…..slice them up and garnish them on cocktails. 😉

Merry Xmas!

Giveaway coming up NEXT!

(You will be getting your gifts shortly.)

A calm before the storm…

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Happy Sunday, my brinking blooms of ‘boom’ fest. (I have no idea what i’m referring to, when i speak to you in such a manner. Yet just go with it, it works for me. Plus, that’s what blogs are about…emptying and sharing the glorious shite 🙂 that lays in your pretty mind, for a hopeful audience, who may be inspired by your delicious words or documents.)

I’ve just done my face and had my darling Baby Ruby, wrapped up warm and delivered to ‘Daddy Pete,’ who’ll have her for the whole day today, since i’ll be taking my gorgeous little glamour puss away for 4 days, with the family back to the forest tomorrow.

Yesterday, was all about ‘chill.’ Not one thing was tended to, other than ourselves and sometimes you just NEED a day like that in order to keep the peace a flowing in your system. It’s sort of like a re-charge of jolly lost energy.  We laid in, giggled with one another, did breakfast, stayed in our ‘comfies’ all day and watched movies…(some weird one with ‘Marlon Brando’ dressed as a posh ship captain, with  half naked Tahitian ladies, bonking all the sailors out of kindess…Then ‘Double Jeopardy,’ after an old Eddie Murphy movie, where i believe he was talking to fairies, under his little girls purple blanket?) The day was littered with true love, mummy-hood, hopes for the future, laughs, chats and naps. All 3 of us managed to take a nap at some point. #excitingstuff Keiran claimed to be going to the gym, yet instead put on his slippers, covered himself with a blanket and went to sleep on the sofa. #oldmanthompson My Robotic Ken doll was out of action.

The rest of the evening, i delighted in playing with my tiny Baby Ruby. Y’know, my love for my little girl is endless and i never thought i could love her any more with another inch of my being. Yet weirdly, since knowing that i’ll be having a brand new baby boy, my love for her has multiplied massively and i have no idea why? Is it because i feel all mummified and delicious? I’m having another child and i’m simply filled with this tremendous glow of ‘oooh laa.’ Is it because she’ll now be my ‘big’ girl, my first born, the heir to my ‘Wunna’ empire, my only little glamour puss. (She was so cute this morning, pretending to do her face in a portable dressing mirror and pouting.) I just don’t know? But right now, i’m filled with love for her…and so utterly happy that i have a little baby boy on the way. It’s magical. And as the story goes, makes our little family of complete balance. Mummy, Daddy, Daughter, Son….and all in a year and a half. 🙂 I’m a passionate girl and not one bit a slow mover. When i want i want. When i don’t i don’t. I’m far less panicky, now that i’m older and wiser and simply because i know how to work my life now 🙂 and i know that great things just end up coming my way. I totter forward, with whole heart and usually a wine (when not preggo)…letting my natural flow of life work it’s magic…well it only works after a big old *push-stomp-and kick* anyway. 🙂 I’m like that vending machine that you have to *smack* repeatedly, in order to get the ‘goodie’  that you’ve already paid for, to come out. 🙂 I just have a tremendous amount of charm that goes alongside it…with boobs, a smile and a stint on the telly, which makes you put up with me a little longer than you ever wanted to.    To be honest, i don’t actually think that at all. I’m quite easy going and well i’m a chica who always knows what’s she’s doing. Everything that seems accidental, usually is deliberate and everything that’s deliberate…often goes wrong. 🙂

Y’know, when i’m happy, i laugh the hardest. When i’m angry, i’ll karate chop you out of existence. If i like, i LOVE  and if i don’t…you’ll know about it and once i don’t, i’m not weak, fake or fickle enough to bend backwards and forgive you. But right now and because i’m wearing my more positive head of extensions i’m grateful for everything i have in life and ready to rocket forward to achieve want i want, It’s important to go get and make your dreams come true. Turn your thoughts into a reality and work hard at being a success…no matter what it is you wish to be life. Although, i’m great at that, i’m lacked *push-push* of recent and only given 50%. Maybe even 40%. So, if only pushing 40%, gives me the success of what occured last year. Then actually working hard, on full fuel determination will no doubt get me where i want to be. It worked in Hollywood. it worked when i first got back home to England and so it’ll work now. (I just need a coffee first. *Wiggle-wink-hair-toss-beckon.*) I tend to get too comfortable when i’m happy and enjoy it with utter celebration. Then i’m like, ‘Shit, i have dreams. I’m meant to be taking over the world with my fabulousity, being on the telly, making money, opening a business….inspiring the world,’ so i tuck my baby back in the buggy, do my hair, finish off making the tea, kiss my husband, adjust my bra, and do a ‘means business’ face. This year…i’ve got the ‘means business’ face down…however as always it’s cleverly disguised under the safety of my ‘I’m calm,’ Bimbo mask. I actually don’t feel that safe under my ‘bimbo’ mask, like i used to. Maybe because i’ve come to terms with the fact that i’m not really that and hiding behind something that you actually aren’t really isn’t that  clever and even worse….transparent. #shithidingplace

Things are good today. Looks a bit snowy, yet with the sun beaming through the windows. Rubes is happy. I’m enjoying having a Sunday and then getting ready to pack for our forest holiday tomorrow. (We were there three weeks ago and just had to go again.

Keiran’s oddly excited over the fact that there’s a bit of snow on top of a few jolly cars. He’ s just got back from the gym and now downstairs, doing Lord knows what, whilst i’m blogging. I was actually far more chipper this morning,  whilst we were all laid in bed, just waking up. Rubes was chatting away and being a bit insane for a Sunday morning really, whilst i was topless and rolling over, like the hag that i am, trying to wake up. Then my darling husband, as lovely as he is, decided to tell me that he was going to hang out with his guy friends, (who i distinctly remember hating, aside from one) for a drink to celebrate the fact that he’s going to be having a baby boy. Which is really just an excuse for them to all hang out, get pissed, get fucked up and watch all my friends and I’s ex-boyfriends kick a ball around for money on a big screen…yet the excuse they used was ‘my bump.’ Nice. Classy. Thoughtful. I enjoy it when men foolishly position themselves in a manner that leads them straight to the dog house. That’s why woman are by far the smarter sex. If you don’t want trouble then don’t take the foolish steps that lead to it.

So, yeah…that’s annoyed me really and no doubt i’ll voice it. Y’know, whenever they are mentioned and since that chunk of time last year, they have never been mentioned in my house, as i’ve merrily cut out them of my life…a  negative surge of gunk, pours over me and because it reminds me of a really awful time in my relationship and i don’t mean a ‘bad hair day’ awful, i mean  it was REALLY awful. I think of how horrific my now husband was to me during that time, how poorly they all treated me, talked badly about me, lied about me, back chatted about me, disrespected me, made fun of me and tried to breakdown my entire marriage. Whilst Keiran joined in, whenever he was angry at me. I had no support and I felt lost and it was the only time in my entire relationship where i truely thought i had made a massive mistake in being with him, because i didn’t realize that he came as a package..a negative one, that i couldn’t get away from…no matter how hard i tried. I have good friends, who are positive, respectful, successful, giving and kind…to both of us always. His friends are the opposite.

On the whole, it was a terrible time for me and in that time i only really had Rubes and my mum to guide me. Like i even went through an entire eating disorder through that entire phase and Keiran was so self obssessed, angry, emotionally absent and ‘party boy’ hurtful at that point that he didn’t even notice. He was so clouded and filled with negativity, that he couldn’t even see what it was doing to his home life, his foundation, his soon to be wife and family. He didn’t even care if it broke up our entire marriage at the time and to see how happy he was at the wedding and how wonderful a husband he is now and that’s with them being pushed out of our relationship, shows to me what a difference it makes. They don’t do anything productive with each other. Only time waste and party.

So, to them it was just a mildy bad time. To me…it was one of the worst times of my life. I went through a lot and had to search quite flipping far for all the strength i had left, as i was getting married in the weeks to come. Not fun at all. And the fact that they now try and text me and pretend like ‘nothing’s happened and try to smear things over with cheesy ‘lets just forgive and forget,’… makes me laugh. I don’t think so. I’d prefer for them to imagine bridge…maybe a glitzy one… Then imagine fucking up by it and then having to set it on fire and watch it burn forward, away and without them. Keiran mght be stupid enough to hang out with people who did that to me, our marriage and who say awful things about me behind my back. Which i find disloyal. Yet he’s the kinda boy, who doesn’t care what you really think, as long as you are nice to his face and make his time with you seem as merry, as can be. He’ll take you at face value, regardless as to what you actually think and that’s done deliberately, just incase what you think isn’t what he wants to hear, meaning it will hurt him. But they’ll never ever be a part of my life, or anything that is my life because i  am not so stupid to associate with people of that sort, when i have such a bright future ahead of me and i’m gonna go get it, without wasting my time. He can make his own decisions and learn from them whenever he chooses. (Like before he left he explained to him how i felt about  the matter and refused to *kiss* him goodbye and he to acts like he’s completely forgotten everything that we all went through last year and how terrible it was, because he just doesn’t want to face fact. I don’t it when people ‘pretend’ forget things that have happened…it’s not the smartest way forward, now is it.)

Excluding all that, life is actually great and yeah, i’ve had a moan and voiced how i feel, but i’m happy to have what i have and thankful for every moment that i breathe that bit of magical air, that keeps my kitty cat heart a pumping and my soul fluttering forward. I’m a lucky girl. I have a beautiful family, daughter and baby on the way…a career that is about to regain consciously hopefully :)…i have a telly show a coming on your telly box, a book to promote and good hard earnt moola, a promising it’s way to me. I feel like i have everything and as long as i stay positive and cut all that is negative, or anything that brings negatively into my world OUT…then the rest of this year will go down just the way i want it to. I learnt from wonderful people the way to become a success and i intend to follow suite with their guidance. (That’s what the smart people do…then they add their own shimmie to keep it original. 🙂 )

But yes…i’ve had a little weep (*rolls eyes*) whilst writing this, but all cries are good cries, as it’s a release of unwanted energy, that makes way for ‘only good.’ I miss Rubes so much right now and just want her here with me.

I’m meant to be packing to go to the forest, yet i’ll throw a few things in the wash and make a bag up later. I took far too much last time and well i’m just not in a packing mood right now. I’ve lost my holiday excitement. It’s like i just can’t get away from drama. We haven’t even bought all the food etc to go. And right now…i’m not bothered really. He can do it.

Anyway, i  just wanted to say THANK YOU SOOO MUCH to each and every one of you who has sent us a ‘Congratulations’ tweet, inbox, text, call or facebook message. It means a lot to me and well your well wished are a delight and are gratefully recieved with a wink. We even got a Tweet  from the beautiful Melanie Sykes, who congratulated us on the bump being a boy. How lovely! See..my little boy is pulling an audience already. 🙂

Lord help us all!

I love you, but you know that!

Have a great day, I’m gonna enjoy this bit of peace that i have before it runs out…

Chrissie x

ps, I’ve deliberately put a ‘sexy’ picture up and simply because over my entire time of blogging, my most successful post (and this really is of ALL TIME) was not one of my best written pieces, but of a ‘Nuts Bedroom Babe’ picture. Plus, so what…it’s sexy and the pregnant ompa-lumpa that i am now, enjoys to look back at that time with a ‘yeah i did have a waist line, under this bump’. 🙂

Big blowie kisses x

I’m off to the forest tomorrow… I hate that a downer’s been put on it. But whatever, I’m still excited.