Blogs, Boys & Heels…

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Gosh! Morning, my lil’ Twinkles! My delicious tickles of fancy. I have been SO UTTERLY *RUSHED* off my little kitten feet. It’s been mad. I’ve been busy. Yet in a way, I’m delighted, because I really do hope to one day ‘blink’ and see that ALL of my dreams have come true…and if that takes ‘busy,’ if that takes hard work,‘ than to me, I’m there. I’d rather do it, than ponder it..

TBone: ‘ It’s not what someone says, it’s always what they do…’

Especially when i’m in a productive frame of mind. Y’know, before cocktails get the better of me. Haha.

I reckon, if you can still commit to productivity, in a really great heels, you’ll smash life! 

(Oh! Wait! I thought I said that I was always gonna wear ‘flats’ now, after running for my life and falling over 40 times at Scare Kingdom?)

Nevermind. Ghosts & Kidnappers would just set me free anyway, because I’d definitely do their head in. My choice of footwear wouldn’t be an issue.

Kidnapper: ‘God! Let her OUT. Switch her for a better victim. Ooh. Shes wearing glitter heeled pumps from the ****** collection.’

I was talking to ‘Celeb Ghost Hunt’ Ash, the other day…He wants me to go on an investigation with him. I must be a sucker for terror. I hate being frightened. Haha.

Anyway, back to non frightening stuff…

I’ve travelled all over. I’ve been on shoots, auditions, i’ve been good, i’ve been bad, I’ve been influencing a jolly load, ready for the festive season. (Which is a REALLY BUSY time for everyone.) I’m also doing the single mum thing also, aren’t I? (I adore every INCH of the bambinos. Junior’s a delight. Ruby’s got her first set of glasses.) I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my world. I’m raising a Glamour puss and a Hero. Last night they both *shocked* themselves up, ran out of their rooms and got into my bed, because we all got lonely and afraid of the dark. Lol

Nobody likes to sleep alone. The only time i’m okay with it, is when i’m drunk and just need to pass out…still with my face on. (Which I don’t really recommend as a graceful little pastime. It only makes you feel worse in the morning,)

On the whole, I’m really happy, right now and when i’m this busy and this happy, it seems that I forget about my ever so rubbish love life.

I’m still 37. I’m still single. It ain’t that bad.

I’m happy a singleton. But after everything i’ve been through. The ups, the downs & the ‘mess me arounds’, i’m still not cautious.  (I still wear my heart on my sleeve.) I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I very much trust people with my heart.  EVEN NOW I  still trust that they’re going to take care of it…..because firstly I see the beauty in everyone and secondly…because i’m probably foolish. Haha.

I never know if they see me as their ‘bitch,’ their ‘bed notch,‘ or their ‘baby for life? Haha..Sounds like a Fairytale. If I can’t decide, i’ll just sit back and leave it to them, to come forward and show me what category, I fall into.

If they don’t come forward then they’re weren’t for me. (I’ll just see it all as, ‘they weren’t that interested.’) I like a forward man. A brave one.

You know why? Probably because i’m not used to guys being romantically forward me with…It’s almost like they’re terrified to be? And I have no clue why? Whatsoever? I don’t get it? You’ll see a lot of guys openly comment on my pics etc, via my ‘socials.’ Yet, the majority of them don’t..and instead shoot in a sneaky DM. (That sounds naughty! Haha.) 

I literally get one almost every 2 minutes. 

However, in real life….If a guy actually fancies me…they’re usually forward to begin with and then stop being so forward…..It’s like they want ME to chase them?

When you’re a 30 something woman, nothing is worse than having to chase a guy for attention. I’ve done it lots, much to my own embarrassment. But I don’t do it, now. EVER. Who has the time or that? If someone wants to go on a date..They should just tell me. If they want to be with me…They shouldn’t be scared to say it.

Plus, i’m quite traditional when it comes to the chase..the ‘wooing.’ I like a boy to ‘hunt & gather,‘ as I ‘fan‘ myself prettily.

Guy friend: ‘You only like them to *hunt and chase* if you fancy them though. If you don’t, you always *shut* them down and we hate that. You make the approach extremely intimidating…’

Anyway…Blah.

I’ve decided to describe my love life like this….

It’s kinda like cleaning a window, with a raggy cloth. Some day, I’ll be able to see through the glass. 😉 

I bumped into my friend Shaun yesterday. He’s a bodyguard..

Shaun: ‘It’s not like the flipping movie Chrissie!!’

He’d just got back from London. I’d just got off a busy weekend. Plus, I’m actually looking for family security and safety, right now. A wee bit of close protection. Not all the time. Just when necessary. Sometimes, when we’re out as a family or i’m influencing something, people will stop to chatter or selfie with me. And I love that. Yet, they’ll just be ME & the babies. I need to make sure they’re always watched. I’m paranoid after some creepy guy, who only knew me from instagram, followed us around Doncaster & wouldn’t leave us alone & after a guy tried to glass another guy in a Manchester bar, because he was trying to hit on me?

I didn’t know either guy…I knew they were both trying to hit on me?

All I heard was the female manager shouting..

‘Get her out the way…’

Then guys and girls starting grabbing glass bottles and smashing them up against the bar, to use in a fight!

IT WASN’T EVEN A ROUGH PLACE.

I wouldn’t have gone there if it was. 

The police even got called and the bar had to be shut down for the evening, It got that crazy.

I don’t get it?

So, it was good to briefly catch up, with Shaun.

Shaun: ‘You’re starting early…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. I don’t even care.’

(I was sat in a quiet corner at The Mallard, in Doncaster.)

Me: ‘You’ve got luggage on wheels. I hate it when people have luggage on wheels. Haha.’ 

Shaun: ‘I feel like a Trolley Dolly, but i’m working it.’

So we discussed security, talked life, work and caught up…The we dashed off. (I didn’t end up posting my blog. When people I know come up to me and start chatting, that’s it, you can’t shut me up. I’ll just spend time with them instead. But I like that about me. I put LIVING life, BEFORE typing it out.)

I guess, I need to find balance. 😉

Then Sam ‘The Reecey Reece’ fest messaged me, to see when we could schedule in ‘catch up’ time. We’re like ‘ships passing in the night.’

‘Are you free on…?’

‘Are you?’

Then I just got on with life.

I’ve had so much fun over the weekend. I’ve worked. I’ve loved. I’ve lived. I’ve had the best time. I celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Saturday. I did Xscape, Castelford with the kids. We smashed ‘Nandos.’ I did Meadowhall. I wiggled at Wagamamas.

Just so much!

I’m so grateful for how well, everyone treated me, over that time!

It was actually Pete (Ruby’s Dad’s Birthday) on Sunday. But Ruby didn’t want to hang out with him, because she wanted to do Influencing with me at Meadowhall. Being Pete. he showed up at Meadowhall, with is bestie Jay, in dying hope that he’d get to spend some time with Ruby..in her new specs.

It worked…and we all ended up doing dinner together at Wagamamas, with my Mum & brother.

But I kinda like that, we co parent well. We haven’t been together for years. In fact 7 years…Yet, it’s great that we can all ‘kick it.’ Y’know, just chill and have a duck pancake together. Lol.

When co parenting works.

Anyway, about my love life…

The weird thing is, with me being busy and ‘forgetting’ about love…It seems, that gents are peeking back into Wunna Land and tapping on my glitter door, again.

I’m calling this time..

Operation ‘Blasts From The Pasts.’ 

A couple of guys that USED to fancy me,…seemed to have returned to my DM’s with a ‘Hey. How are you?’ One guy had actually started dating a girl, but she went through his phone and *blocked* me…Haha. He didn’t even realise, until one of his other friends pointed it out.

Safe to say…They’re no longer together. (But there you have it! You shouldn’t have chosen ‘The Crazy’ over me. Hhahaha.)

It’s all good fun. A laugh. We’re all making memories.

If i could tell you anything.

I’ll tell you that I was a really lucky girl. I’ll tell you to always chase your dreams and when you feel inspired, to act upon it. A dream doesn’t just have to be a ‘make believe‘ moment. You can at least TRY and make your reality. People do it every day. Why not you? I’m living proof.

Always be kind. Always do the things that make you happy. Don’t sacrifice your true happiness, to ‘run through the motions.’ Wake up. Feel the breeze, Go with it. Nothing is better than living you best life.

Don’t listen to anyone, or anything but your gut instinct. It will show you the right way. It will also tell you when you’re ready.

Always believe in love…

It is the ONLY thing, that is going to power you through the bad times and make the good times simply MAGICAL.

Preach over…

Have an amazing Tuesday….

I love you.

 

 

 

 

Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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Life, Love & Really Bad Habits…

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Hope you’ve had a really wonderful weekend! I had the BEST family time with Ruby & Junior. We lunched at ‘The Clam & Cork’ in Doncaster. (I had the oysters, Ruby had the sea bass. I had to go buy Junior a boiled hot dog from a cart, by watermelons. Lol) We shopped. We loved. We picked out our Style Favourites at Primark. I’m a huge Primark fan So as a family, we couldn’t feel happier, to be sharing our favourite pieces with you.

Primark has hands down’ shown us a lot of love & for that, i’m absolutely grateful for! In my mind there’s no reason for anyone to spend an ENTIRE fortune, in order to LOOK GOOD or most of all FEEL GOOD.

There ain’t no shame in your Primark game!

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In Wunna Land, our expensive buys, are always a ‘treat.‘ I mean we spend a lot on ‘good times’ and great food. Yet, when it comes to fashion, and I LOVE FASHION, I love BEAUTY….we’ve signed up to ‘Primania’ with our hearts full of joy.

I’ve shopped there for years and now it’s time to celebrate it! 

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(I mean, what is life without a knitted rainbow cardy, right!)

Okay, so….

The start of my week has been blissful, up until last night. (We’re only on Tuesday. Haha.) Last night, I decided to balls things up, for myself, which I do quite often. You know when you just don’t prioritize something correctly and you therefore accidentally, let yourself down, because a niggly guilt meanders through your head. A niggly guilt that won’t go away because you temporarily hurt someone. That’s what I did. That’s how I felt. I’m okay now. I’ve got over it look…

Yet, a lesson has been learnt…and I guess, I need to break another bad habit. (This is all really good for me. I’m going through a really CLEANSING time, by accident. Lol.)  I don’t smoke. I won’t drink as much. I’m wearing chakra balancing beads. I’m crying to love songs by JLS.  Next i’ll be doing yoga on my front lawn, in eco friendly workout attire and stroking goats…

I don’t think so… I’m a glamour puss, not a hippie. 😉 I am actually quite spiritual by nature..throw me a pack of Tarot cards and a voodoo doll and i’m sound. 😉

But…

WHY AM I STILL LEARNING LESSONS AT 37!!

Anyway, there’s lots going on. my Insta story is on fire, right now, with views. Work is on it’s way. I’m in limbo. I’m waiting for a something to air on TV. I have loads of shoots. I’m waiting for my time. My moment. I’m loving being a mum. My love life is still rubbish. Well not rubbish. The guy that I went on the Manchester date with, is looking forward to seeing me again. So, that’s sweet.

(All last night, I kept drinking red wine and accidentally crying to JLS songs, because I missed ‘The Swirl.’ Hahaha.) 

I love being a girl.

To be honest, I’ve been quite hormonal of recent. (As you may have guessed?) But i’ve found that as soon as I ‘doll’ myself up, whop in my hoops and get strutting…I’m fine. I’m dandy.

Just getting on with it, is the best way!

I feel like something great is going to happen to me in the love department? Even if it’s not right now…The ending to my story, when it comes to love…feels like it’s going to be amazing. Like Life has been leading me up to something phenomenal. (She glues her ‘rosy tinted specs’ to her face.)

Everything you go through, I believe is for a reason…

I’ve enjoyed by path, as ‘colourful’ as it’s been…I’m ready for a Happy Ending. Surely, I deserve one, in both work and love, for crying out loud!!

I’m committing to everything. I’m throwing myself into everything. You get nothing out of life if you don’t commit to it. 

You’ll never experience the happiness intended for you, if you don’t ‘throw skin to the wind’ and just go for it. Survive the bad. Enjoy the good. Be it big, small or inbetween. Just live. Just love. Just be ALIVE.

In the end, you’ll KNOW why you had to go through it all…

I believe that…

(But I still believe in Santa and Fairies…so don’t take my word for it.)

Right now, I can tell you, that i’m really proud of the kids. Junior has a true heart of gold. He’s insightful and loving..Yet won’t let you push him around, when he feels brave. Ruby is ambitious and dynamic. She’s a tough cookie. She is every inch….well…ME. (I’m kinda feeling really bad for Pete, right now, because Ruby hasn’t wanted to hang out with him over the last couple weeks…)

‘Tell Dad, that I do love him. Everything’s fine. I’d just rather spend my time with you and Junior, mum…’

She’s almost outgrowing him…and she’s only 7.

Pete: ‘Chrissie, it’s depressing me…’

The babies have really got stuck into this whole ‘showbizzy’ malarky, by choice, before you all start……I’m kinda having to rein them in a little and make them concentrate on school…because they have so much going on in October. I can’t keep up!!

But I actually couldn’t be prouder of them.

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Life is good. I’m tired though. I’m looking after myself more. I’m stepping up my game. I’m adoring my beauty regime. I’m wanting to make my mark, now. I’m also wanting to fall in love. I wonder if ‘The Swirl’ ever thinks about me? (I think about you. I think about you a lot.) I wonder if The Manchester Date guy will try to pursue a future with me? (You were so lovely to me. You made me feel lovely.)

I’m concentrating on my career…and like I said, this time LAST YEAR…

I ain’t gonna be dropping no ball, this time…

Watch this space…

Wunna Land, is on it’s way UP!!!

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Trips to Manchester, To Find Love….

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Did my hair, did my face, did my lips, did my pout, slipped into heels and got myself to the train station, which would delicately deliver me to Manchester airport, in one glamourous piece, ready for my ‘date,’ my ‘meet up.’

Before, we start, I’ll let you know I had the most amazing time. It was almost wonderous. I  wrongly thought that my date was in Liverpool, but it was actually in Manchester. Good job, he reminded me, before I arrived in the wrong city. Lol. He actually FLEW IN for work and then the date… (Bouji, innit. 😉 I like that about him.)

But why am I  so shocking!!!! I couldn’t even get the city right?

Yet, before I even got there, I shat myself with nerves, in my little Missy Empire pink dress. (Thank you for the dress. It was devilish. The little pink dress, is the NEW little black dress.) I stopped off, got two wines at The Mallard, in Doncaster, as @kingkenny1985 (who works there, and loves a Wunna Land insta story) had to *pause* and do a ‘double take..’ with a…

‘I just had to double check to see if it was you…You WILL get yourself into these situations…Lol’

I got to Platform 3B, which takes me straight to Manchester airport, kinda in a jiffy and that was after ‘The Draughtsman Ale House’ handed me a ‘half’ a tipple, to calm my nerves, because they were so excited about my little adventure! (Thank you for that! 🙂 )

(It fell out of my hand on the train, whilst I was messaging Miss.Muprhy and ‘drop poured’ into my OPEN, overnight bag. 😉 )

YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEeeeeeeee!

Everything just stank of ale! 🙂 All you could hear was this random Oriental, faux furred, big haired… idiot, SWEARING under her breath, like an angry, porny looking…ninja.

‘I can’t help it, i’m just drawn this way….’

My date was excited, messaged me the whole way through, to keep me in check, with his whereabouts. He did admit he was a little nervous.

Date: ‘Wow! I’m almost nervous to meet you…Lol.’

(I was ‘dropping fucking drinks’ nervous. But it always scares me when they’re nervous, because I don’t want them to think i’m some kind of goddess, because they’ll only be disappointed when they meet me, i’m sure.) 

Chick friend: ‘Not so adventurous and brave now, are you Wuns! Haha.’ 

Me: ‘Fuck off. I’m STILL l doing it. I’m STILL headed there. I never said I don’t actually feel the fear! Haha.’

He’d organised everything, so perfectly to a ‘T.’ Rooms were booked, everything has been scheduled, sorted and planned out. Almost wonderfully. All he wished for ME to do, was show up,’relax and enjoy.’

It’s almost like I had forgotten, that men like him…actually still existed. 

He’s a miracle. You wouldn’t even believe it. Before I even went on the date….and remember I had never ever met him in person….He had already managed to make me feel like a Princess…That’s the wrong word.

He made me feel appreciated, respected, beautiful and of absolute worth. 

All that ever matters to me, is how someone makes me feel… He didn’t even do it, with intent to manipulate or be showy….He did it, because he’s just built that way, he’s kind. He’s so much fun, but a proper old school gentleman.

I LOVED IT. It makes a guy so so sexy!

I arrived at the airport. I was driven to the hotel…It was raining so heavily outside, which I kinda love, when I know i’m INSIDE. There’s an evening comfort to it.

He arrived much earlier and had to dash off to work. I had school runs etc, so arrived in the evening…I had an envelope with my name upon it, with my room key ready and waiting for me…and with a smile, a wink and shake off of the rain, I was headed up the elevator, into my room…as the rain poured down, over Manchester Airport.

I got settled, took selfies, did lunges (lol) and went down to the bar for a white wine spritzer. The staff couldn’t have been more delightful. I was at The Clayton Hotel. right by the airport. I tottered in with my wink and pink dress…and Life was pretty much sorted from there.

He had just got done at the match….and was en route to meeting me.

The whole way through, he made sure I was utterly comfortable. He’s really organised, so he was telling me the plan, every hour. Lol.

Date: ‘Just order anything you need to eat or drink on the room, when you arrive. Don’t worry. Honestly, just enjoy…I’ll see you soon…’

I got my own drinks at the bar..whilst I waited.  I actually met loads of fun people, who were all off on sunny adventures. The gents loved me in that bar, but the chicks didn’t…and I hate that, because I’m lovely. Lol.

(Girls shouldn’t SCOWL at girls, they do not know. When you do, you lose your swag, your beauty & your level of confidence becomes very visible. Even if you feel it…don’t do it. I’m not there to steal your man, i’m on a flipping DATE!) 

But what can I say…My lil’ pink dress was ‘killer.’

Anyway…

Long story short…

He arrived…I was upstairs in the room…and when the door opened and I saw him…I filled with terror, smiled, (because you just godda charm that shit out) and then just told him that I was nervous.

He smiled…looked at me. He actually *paused* and looked me in the eye. I didn’t know whether to be happy for terrified. Did he think I was hot? Or did he think I was not? Yet, then when I snapped out of my few seconds of utter, charming *panic,* I then looked at HIM…and a calm, warmness sort from him…

Date: ‘Wow, you look great. You’re dressed like that and i’m dressed like this..Lol.  I’ve ordered food to the room…I’ve had such a stressful day, i need a drink. Lol. I’ve also ordered you another wine…’

(He already knew what i’d been drinking at the bar. I like that. It impresses me.) 

Then just like that, we sat down, we relaxed and we just started talking. He sat on the sofa and I sat a little away from him…But I noticed that I’m much more guarded now. I had my arms folded, to accessorize my smile. When I was on my first date with ‘The Swirl’ ages ago…I wasn’t like that, I was all cuddly and kissy…and…banter.

I was guarded that night. Open, friendly…yet nervous about potentially getting my little kitten heart broken…in the future. Yet, that’s not the way to go…You don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future…So, i relaxed, enjoyed by time, the moment and him.

He was alive He’s smart. He’s fun. He’s non judgemental. He knows a lot about people and life. He’s excited by me. He’s a family man. Someone who knows what truly matters to him, in life…

HE DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH, WHEN I TOLD HIM HOW MANY TIMES, I’D BEEN MARRIED ETC… He’s not terrified of me….He’s impressed by me?

He laughed and said…

‘I love that about you…At least I know you’re not scared of commitment, If i ever need to ask….Lol’ 

Then he said,

‘Datings always hard isn’t it…because you can meet a really pretty girl and she has an awful personality, or has no grasp on real life…You’re not like that, at all. I saw that you were a Mum and I loved that about you… I knew that you had real responsibilities and experienced real love…real life…’

OH MY GOD! DREAM!

(He’s also a Father… and I love a family man, don’t I! I also love that he’s bouji, but real. He’s not caught up with bullshit. He’s solid, stable, loving, sexy and a HAPPY singleton. He’s open to love….But would rather be on his own, than be with someone who wasn’t right! Just like ME!!!)

But the more we spoke, the more I relaxed I became. He was so interesting…so calm….

Date: ‘How old are you? God! You don’t look it at all…’

Me: ‘Everyone says that, but I don’t get it. It’s cos you didn’t know me when I was 20.’ 

Then we started eating and sipping our drinks…We started talking about footballers and glamour models and how they kinda have the same sort of job/lifestyle, yet one has the boy version and the other had the girl version…. of the shindig.

Date: ‘I guess, that’s why they always date?’

Me: ‘I just think sporty boys are filled with more testosterone, really. Lol’ 

Date: ‘Hahah. No, but when it comes to our lifestyle etc….Us guys, want to date an exciting girl. A *dangerous* girl. A beautiful girl…A.. ….’

Me: ‘Someone that gets ya juices flowing… I get it… Someone who isn’t Vanilla..’

Date: ‘Yeah. You’re that. You’re dangerous...(he had a smirk on his face, when he said it.) But you’re not just looks, like most…So, i’m almost sat here, hoping you want to see me again…I need to get shower… Hang on…’

Me: Why have you turned the lights off…?’

Date: ‘So I don’t scare you… Lol’

(Only a true vixen isn’t scared in the dark Haha. It’s the light that makes her feel unnerved.)

The rest of the evening was divine. We relaxed. We shared stories. I needed to relax a lot more than he did, if I’m honest. He was confident, caring, he knew life. He’s one of those ‘good at everything,’ guys… But so so humble.

Me: ‘There isn’t anything you can’t do? What are you rubbish at?’

Date: ‘I can’t dance well. I’m an athlete, so I can move…But I just don’t find it easy to dance. Hahaha. ‘

Then because he felt I was tense, he walked his fingers up my back and pushed on parts that he felt were tense.

It was literally the most gentle thing, and it felt SO good.

He was GROWN. He was full MAN. Like, he raised the bar, on what being a true man is! He’s an  actual ‘great at everything,’ guy, with a successful career, who’s a wonderful father/family guy. Someone who’s loving, sexy… and truly truly knows how to take care of a woman…on every level.

He walked his fingers up to the top of my back, just under my neck and pushed his fingers down to release tension….I looked at him, through a mirror…and we smiled…

That was the part where I trusted him…and he massaged me….

The next morning, I woke up at The Clayton Hotel, by Manchester Airport…after the most wonderful time, with the most thoughtful man I had every met.

It couldn’t even be real. It was like a dream….He was IMPRESSIVE. I like to feel impressed, don’t I? And Cupid properly threw in a gem, this time around….It’s like The Gods are trying to show me my options…

I swear…

I literally haven’t met a more generous, or more thoughtful man ever, who is dripping in sex appeal. He’s not even wet with his kindness. He’s charming. But not fake. He’s real. He’s someone you never need to prompt, because he’s always waaay ahead of you. I love that! He’s really intelligent.

(‘Well, we were only working a couple hours a day. There was a lot of free time. In that time, I got a degree…so I could use it later…Most of the guys don’t think to do that. I even speak five languages now…and run two companies…’) 

There’s a sophistication to him, that’s delivered with punctuated fun. He’s not a lose cannon. He’s stable. His feet are firmly on the ground. Yet, at the same time, he’s not ‘vanilla.’

For once, I got to feel like a girl. I got to feel so precious. I got to feel ‘taken care of,‘ instead of ‘having to take care of…’ I know so many women (including myself) who never get to feel like that!

He’s a good person…

Date: ‘I hope you want to see me again…I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I hope so. I’ll message you as soon as I get home…’ 

I can’t honestly have been that lucky?

Haha…it felt so ‘Pretty Woman.’

What is happening in my life right now?

If i don’t see this guy again, I will officially be the stupidest girl in the world. What a gentleman. What an amazing man. I don’t think i’ve ever been treated that well!!

I’m stunned…

I took the 10.53, from Platform 3A at Manchester Airport, back home, with my Red Bull…so I could arrive in time for a school run. 

Cashier: ‘You know it’s £2.90…’

Me: ‘Yeah…but fuck it, I need it..’

 

On my train home…

(After some chick gave me daggers and rammed her luggage on wheels into me. Lol. You can’t *ram* me after i’ve just been Princess treated!)

Miss. (who I love) Murphy: ‘The guys in the office who follow you avidly want to know which………he is? Liam has worked out that… Hahaha. This is hilarious!’

Firmonnell: ‘Did you fancy him? He sounds so perfect. How did it go!!!??!!! He’s sexy!’

Laura Grace: ‘Tell me everything…’

Halewood: ‘What happened!!!! You lucky bitch!’

Man sitting next to me: ‘I feel like i’ve seen you before….? Oh shit! I follow you on insta. How was the…’

Bartender Girl: ‘How was it then!!?!’

King Kenny: ‘How did it all go?’

Sarah T: ‘Who is this guy!!!!’

Big Brother Rex: ‘Must’ve been a good… with ya hair like that! 😉 Hahaha. ‘

 

3.30pm…

Ruby: ‘I’m glad you’re back Mum. How was he?’

 

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Sunshine, Booty Shorts & Events in Leeds Tonight!

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Suns Out! Guns Out! Strut. Wink. Trout Pouts! 

I’m in such a good mood because I feel like there’s a *sizzle* in the air, a little peeky of fun, seems to be a swirling around us today. Can you feel it?

(Try again. Close ya eyes. You can feel it now, right?)

The sky is blue. The sun’s meant to be out from this afternoon onwards. And well… in my world, this means that the only thing left to do, is to reach for your booty shorts, hair toss a ‘curly blow‘ and paint your kitten nails red!!!

Yeah! Yeah! Doll Faces!

(I’ve already actually done ALL of the above. I did it as soon as I woke up.. Then I reconsidered my outfit, because It read ‘Vegas,’ not ‘School run.’ I got changed, did a school drop off…and re visited ‘glamour pussing’ as soon as I swung back into my home. I wish I swung in on a chandelier. 

No such luck.

Whatsapp Msg

Miss. Murphy: ‘Do the boys wear long socks with shorts? I don’t think I have any!!’

Me: ‘Juniors just in trousers today…because I forgot to buy shorts. ;)’

Snapchat Msg

Firmonnell: ‘I need to call you on my lunch. I need to talk to you.’

I think we both cried last night? I’m not sure, if she did?  If you don’t know, ‘Firmonnell’ is my best chick friend…and I definitely cried to Hollyoaks yesterday…which I found really awkward. If that happened, I’m certainly sure, that across town, ‘Firmonnell’ was doing the same. We really do get ‘hormonally emotional’, around the same time.

Being a girl rocks.

Anyway, things are really busy in Wunna Land right now. My April is slammed. And like I said, I’m being a shitty ‘be there,’ friend, as one minute i’m here, the next minute i’m there…

Infact…i’ll tell….

It’s a train ride to London, a flight through to Spain, a school run check in, 3 meetings back in Leeds, whilst loving and adoring the kids, yet making an event here, not being late for an event there, learning lines for an audition on Skype, but showing up for an audition in person…sitting through a conference call…emailing back a tv company…and then getting through twenty five shoots…. in two days and a half days.

I wouldn’t have it an other way though. I feel really lucky right now. Not just lucky as in ‘blessed.’ Lucky as in ‘i’m rolling that dice and winning it baby.’

I’m sort of in the very early stages of what I like to call the COMEBACK ‘MAGIC.’ But for the first time….

I can actually FEEL IT…..

AND THAT *MAGIC* IS WHAT I WANT TO PASS ON.

I mean, you might think the above ‘busy’ paragraph is a nightmare. It can be. But to me, it’s perfect. It’s all I ever wanted to do, all I ever loved as a career and the one thing that keeps me balanced.

Keeps me alive. I get an incredible buzz off from it all.

People choose their own paths and I guess, I just didn’t want to be sat on my arse, in an office all day, for hardly any money, doing everything that I HAD to do, behind a pleasant fake smile, yet nothing that I WANTED to do…and as the yeeeeeears pass me bbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Time really does fly. Do not forget that!

To some people the ‘office, years pass me by‘ is their ‘awesome,‘ it’s ‘gangsta,‘ it’s a reason to crack open the champagne. And that’s great, because we all have different stories to celebrate.

To me…it’s DULL. I mean, I’d rather feed goats for 92 hours…and I hate farmyard animals, after once being head butted by a Billy Goat Gruff. Lol. 😉 I remember being so cross because it made me drop my Solero.

Don’t fuck with a Yorkshire Girls Ice Cream!

Anyway, I’m glad the sun’s out because i’m at an event this evening, in Leeds. It’s at the ‘Weaves & Waves‘ hair salon, on George Street, as they catwalk out their new line of wigs.

I love the local city events, in salons, or boutique stores. I think they’re kinda cool, because they’re usually all canapes and prosecco pours… over pleasantries….You’ll scan the room and it will be filled with popular city faces and littered with reality tv personalities, all taking selfies with one another and creating insta stories for kicks.

I love it. 😉

And out of everyone, I have THE BEST job, because I get to show up…do the Reality TV/ Modelly ‘ting’…But at the same time, get to scan, chat and absorb everything going down, for a BLOG.

So i’ll either zone in on one person…or do a little bit of everything. It depends on what happens really? But that’s the exciting part of the job….because you just never know…..until it’s actually happening to you. be It good for bad. Lol

BUT THE SUN IS OUT…WHICH ALWAYS MEANS RECEPTION DRINKS, FLIRTS AND REALLY GOOD TIMES.

No matter what, I’ll have a blast! Well…if my shirt dries. I forgot to wash it, so i’ve had to plonk it in this morning and dry it on a radiator. 🙂 (So glamourous.)

And i’m not going all ‘see through’ dressy. I’m doing a blue & white boobied, pinstripe shirt.. demin booty shorts and heels.

Bit of boob. Bit of leg. Suns totally out.

Knowing Yorkshire, the air’ll probably smell like barbeques. Lol. One bit of sun and everyone rocks down to Morrisons for bargain meat and cans of ale.

I think i’m getting my face done…and then Pitstop Rentals, the best chauffeuring service ever, will be picking me up and driving me to the event!

 

 

 

 

 

Rebel Just For Kicks & True Love….

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Ooh, i’m a sassy one today! I’m feeling rebellious, cheeky….fun! I’m wanting to be a nuisance, just for the glorious sake off and although it always ends in tears…..I just can’t help myself. If you can’t have a bit of laugh, then what have you got left…but rum? Exactly!

Chicky Mazza: ‘You are far too feisty today Wuns!’

‘Aaron The Pap‘ has already bollocked me for being a ‘Word Thief.‘ Lol.

Aaron: ‘Hahahaha! Sassiness on you at this hour, WORDS THIEF.’

But technically, you can’t teach a girl to COPYRIGHT EVERYTHING, not copyright your own words…and then moan because I stole them.

The words I stole, from his Paparazzi hands…were…

‘…AND SHIT!’

🙂 No one’s swag enough to own those words.

Today. I basically decided to force Lisa (as in ‘Appleton,’) who we know if a really good friend of mine, to have a MASSIVELY GIANT, birthday party, because she turns FIFTY, next month. She’s having surgery, so it will kill her to party, but it’s all about ME really…and I need an excuse to drink more.

Yippppppppeee!

I thought it would take me ages to persuade her…(I didn’t, at all, I don’t know why my fingers are typing that… I’m highly persuasive and she loves a good time.)

It took 3 minutes.

It was literally as easy as peeing into a bucket. (Which is you’re a girl, is not that easy at all? Why am I chatting shit? Lol And why do I have this disturbing image of me sitting, doing a wee…on a giant orange bucket???) 

Anyway, I won’t rest until she jumps out of a cake…or if we have a Tiki party…a flipping pineapple. Xfactor Liam (Halewood) has suggested that all cocktail sticks are made out of sausages or something? Lol. Oh no, wait? He said pickled onions on sticks and that he likes ‘bangers.’ 😉 (My fingers keep lying.)

But you get it. Today, I’m a cheeky swine of a glamour puss! And I’m loving it.

Rebel me this. Rebel me that!

I met up with another good friend of mine ‘Big A’ yesterday. He owns the High Fashion & Culture Magazine ‘House Of Solo’ and we always have a pint and gossip, usually about our love lives….then we decide to work. We chose ‘Ego’ as our banter hideaway…because it’s basically the closest and I watched him put Issue 7 together…( I like watching people work.) He was deciding if he’s going to shoot Rita Ora and Zayn Malik for the cover. (Hard life.)

We got talking all sorts and I showed him the Tattoo that I have on my inner right arm, that reads…

‘March.’

Me: ‘It’s the last name of a guy in LA. Lol. He was my bestfriend. His last name is March.’

Big A: ‘WTF!’

Me: ‘Anyway, finish off ya story? What were you saying about that drama, cos I think, if a Dude has to reach for PLAN C, then he’s got no hope! What happened to Plan A & Plan B??’

Big A: ‘They didn’t work. It was crazy. How was Spain?’

Me: ‘I’m going to an event on Wednesday evening. Weaves & Waves. I’m waiting the new wig line drop…Love Island, ‘Emma’ is hosting it. It’s in Leeds. Why don’t you come?’

Big A: ‘Yeah, I’ll try to. I’ve got a shoot in London…But…*looks at his phone..* Yeah…I think I can do it.’

Me: ‘Why is *************** ruining everything!’

Big A: ‘I don’t know? He’s being such an idiot.’

Me: ‘It’s because he’s got a fairly new girlfriend and she’ll hate me. It’s flipping WORK. We’re mates! We don’t flipping date!!!’

He worked…I DRANK EVERYTHING! And I couldn’t really tell if I was drinking everything because I was stressed and hormonal, or just wanting to celebrate….ANYTHING? 

Anyway, well done to all of you who took my advice and decided not to be dull. Don’t be scared to embrace life and don’t let the art of what other’s think of you destroy your ‘good time.’ They’re doing their own version of life…and just because it’s different to yours, it doesn’t mean it’s better..FOR YOU. I love it when we appreciate the differences in others. I hate when people drivel on about ‘blah.’ (Kinda like I do…for a living. 😉 )

Chick Friend Tiger Stripes: ‘Is your new thing accents? I’m sure all the guys that you’ve fancied over the last few years, have all had accents…’

(I’m calling her ‘Tiger Stripes’ because she didn’t rub in her fake tan very well. 😉 )

Me: ‘I don’t have a *thing,* I just..I don’t know…? I like SOME accents. I like it when they’re going grey a bit. I’m not quite  sure I should be trying to preach anything *dating.* But i’m happy right now, with the way life is, so stop trying to make me feel shit. lol’

I guess, love to me is teaming up with a best friend, lover and  hero….through the entire ‘thick and thin‘ of it all and still over the years, no matter what, feeling crazy about them every moment of every day.  I didn’t get married every time because I was an idiot. I got married every time because I believed in love.

I remember a time when I was really upset,, years ago…but playing it ‘happy’ and my old school friend ‘Wazza’ (who can see through everything and hosts this blog,) stopped me and quietly said, in the middle of his own wedding reception..

‘Don’t worry about it Chrissie. You didn’t do anything wrong. You just trusted him…. and that’s okay because you SHOULD be able to trust your husband. Honestly… I’m picking ya next husband. Lol’

And in that moment, my heart broke into a million pieces, but being me, I smiled, laughed it off and wished him the most beautiful wedding day….

[Oh wait….One of the loveliest bartenders at the bar i’m at right now, has just sauntered up to chat…Once sec…]

……………………………………

…………………….

Okay! I’m back. he just wanted to know how Spain went! I love it when people *pause* for a bit of banter with me. It’s fun. Most people walk by pretending they haven’t made eye contact with me and then start giggling.

I got this weird message the other day, from a guy, who i’d regard as a friend, because he used to be WITH  a really close friend of mine, for years. He’s been really inappropriate and he’ll send me the most bizarrely suggestive messages. He doesn’t care if I ignore him or knock him back (EVERYTIME,) he just keeps going, like it’s all just normal and dandy.

It’s not. I’m a really loyal friend. I just think it’s incredibly wrong. Why do guys do that? I even responded with a…

‘No, I just don’t like you like that mate…’ (And I hate that because it makes me feel rude. But to be honest, he’s being rude…Men are meant to make other women FEEL like a million dollars…not weird and awkward.)

Tiger Stripes: ‘Y’know, you NEED a guy to step in and make YOU feel like a million dollars. I don’t think you’ve ever had that. I think you’ve always looked after men. In fact, I actually think, as sassy as you are, you’re actually too good to them…and they take the piss. I also think you push them away.’

Me: ‘I really need ice in my wine…I’m gonna go ask for ice.. I’m not talking dating with you right now. I can’t concentrate because your tan stripes are confusing me.’

I’ve just got another message from a Wunna Land fan..it reads…

Fan: ‘I want to taste your sweetness..’

It tastes like vodka.

Anyway, i’m off, I can’t be bothered to type anymore. I want my wine. Summer feels like it’s on it’s merry way and that alone makes me happy. I love it warm. If you can’t shake maracas and dance to the beat of bongos. …(In LA, I once climbed an entire wall, in an evening dress, at a house party, simply to reach the bongo players, who were placed in some designer wall cove. They got fired because of me. 🙁 They let me play their bongos.) 

…What i’m trying to say is…

JUST HAVE SOME FUN, EH! It’s APRIL!

Tiger Stripes: ‘Are you missing ‘The Swirl.’

Me: ‘…………….yeah.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hormones, Dull Folk & I Just Don’t Like Festivals

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I’m feeling amazing today! I’m back on work mode and it feels good. It feels ‘OOoh Laaa.’ Yet, because i’m an old bird, I  was quite terribly knackered yesterday, after being blessed with  a really EARLY work wake up call. So, I just chilled and enjoyed family time, after a bit of picture taking and a rather important meeting. But I couldn’t keep my little kitten eyes open. I kept nodding off, like a granny, then shocking myself up. Lol. Only a Desperado could help me. 😉 (Any excuse, I know.!!! In case you DIDN’T KNOW A Desperado, is my favourite ‘slum it and chill’ go to drink.)

Yeeehah!

I’m in an updo today, and it’s great because it’s making me look like i’ve had botox.

(Snapchat Msg)

Chick friend: ‘You’ve properly stepped up your game Wunna! Your holiday pics and this whole Wunna Land blah, blah, is on fucking FIRE! You need a hose down.’

Me: ‘I’m getting there. I’m a long way off yet. But cheers, Baby boo. Hose down? Sounds rude. I think i’ll just have a 9am wine.’

Anyway, last night, I popped into a ‘Go Local’ in Ackworth to grab the Desperado and two ginger beers. (Love it there.) I’m craving ginger beers at the moment. And I  just love them because they remind me of my childhood. My dad and I would drink them and dance around to UB40 songs. A moment filled with love. 🙂 I get my drinking habits and my creative talent from my Pops. I don’t think he had a ginger beer though? His moves were too good. 🙂

Walked in. Saw the back of a guy, who looked moderately attractive. I only saw his back and his gym bum. But he had a Essex accent and was bantering out loud to the two middle aged ladies behind the counter. When he left, I slowly walked up an isle with a smile on my face…

Me: ‘Look at the state of you two! You’re beaming! Calm yourselves down! Hahaha!’

Lady: ‘Here you! Lol.  Just because we’re old doesn’t mean we can’t see a good thing, when it’s in front of us!’

Me: ‘You look love struck. Lol. I’ve never seen you so happy!’

Lady: ‘He’s moving down here….’

Me: ‘What? With his beautiful wife & kids? Haha.’

Lady: ‘Well SHE (points at the other cashier) definitely knows how to pull’em. She was stood there, chatting to the hottie, eating a bloody Shepherds pie! Hahaha!’

Me: ‘HAHAHAH. You couldn’t even BE any more northern if you tried.’

I mean, what is life without a bit of gravy on ya face, eh!

Anyway, the reason why i wanted to blog about that moment, was simply because it made my heart warm. It was so innocent and flirty and showed me that no matter how old, how young, sassy, quiet, how rich, poor, small or tall….a lady is..? She STILL always has that giggly little ‘playground’ girl inside of her… when it comes to boys.

It was such a cute moment. Glad, I destroyed it with by sick witty banter…and a ginger beer in my hand. 😉

Then I checked through the magazines,and papers, to see who had made all the covers.

Anyway, everything’s great! I’m really busy. The kids are back at school and i’m gonna miss having them around me all the time.

Being a ‘lone parent’ and raising them by myself, and having to work SO hard to give them a great great life, has always meant that I haven’t really ever had the option of just chilling. Y’know, what I mean, I never could just stay at home with them, mummy them, make teas, etc etc…. I never even managed to do that when I was wife…and that was ANY of the times, I was a wife. Lol. My life has just never given me that apple to munch on…However, it’s been wonderful.

I managed it all with happiness and I managed to be a NORMAL mum over their Easter holidays from school…(Well as normal as Wunna Land gets, because I did audition a lot and then fly to Spain and do days and days of pap shots.)  Bottom line, I love being with them and the cheeky little ‘Coconuts’ (which is what I call them) love it MADLY.

I sort of fantasize about times like that. I’m gonna miss them heading back to school…for about an hour. 😉 I’ll just swish back into work mode then and probably do it in stilettos.

I’m trying to tell you what’s going on work wise right now, but I because there’s just so so much, going on.  I have auditions zooming out my ear holes, a bunch of modeling gigs, i’ve had to turn down another trip to Spain, due to being ‘booked out,’ and turn down a show, because I didn’t think It was the right fit for me. It’s not something that I thought i’d enjoy….and I didn’t think i’d make much impact on a show of that sort. Well…no, i’d make impact, but not benefit from it AND…It involved a lot more of Wunna land than just me.

So I just said no.

But regardless, I’m back on the telly shortly (I again, can’t tell you anything about it yet) and I’m unfortunately eating everything in sight….when i’m meant to be on a Herbalife plan.

I’m blaming it on the ‘You only life once’ line, because I have to blame it on something, right? But if i’m honest, I kinda feel sexy anyway, whether I have a shake OR a burger in my hand…and I think that’s what confidence and VA VOOM IS!

Shaking‘ was and IS great because it kinda made me realize that I’m happy anyway…. Plus, I did lose weight for my Spanish snaps, which helped me out tremendously. So, I’ll be back ‘shaking’ shortly. yet because my schedule is about to get tighter and when you’re on the go, it’s absolutely brilliant.

No Faff. Easy Going. Just the way I like things.

I think i might have a wine to celebrate!

I also think, it must nearly be my ‘time of the month’ soon, because I’m going through THAT week, where in which EVERYTHING annoys me. Lol. (You’ll only get it, if you’re a girl.) People are really annoying me right now and i’m being much sharper, much sassier…much more uncensored. 🙂 I seem to have put down my ‘rosie tinteds’ for a decent set of RAGING hormones.

I’m quite ‘tell it how it is‘ ..of course with charm…by nature. If people can’t take a bit of banter or the odd home truth, then they’re not yet comfy in their own skin. Right now, i’m finding everyone quite…….What’s the word??

Dull?

I keep reading people’s posts and listening to conversations and thinking…

WHY BE SO DULLSVILLE? WAKE UP. ENJOY LIFE.

And the thing about ‘The Dull’ ones, is that they’re ALWAYS the first humans, to get their slow moving, ‘JUDGEY *never pointed at fun* FINGERS‘ out…. They’re all..

‘I’m too good for this./I’m too good for that./I would never this…I cannot believe that…/I am the most boring, unexciting human in the entire flipping land. Let’s buy tins of magnolia paint and just watch it dry upon already magnolia walls.’

Lighten up. Chill out. You don’t have to be wild. You just have to switch the beige mindset, for a better one that’s swirled in LIFE, COLOUR…OR EVEN JUST RUM?

YOU BORING SODS. (Can you tell i’m hormonal? Lol)

I love being a girl. We’re bonkers. Staying sane, is our official life goal.

My news feed got so frustrating that I started looking at all the ‘festival fever because it’s everywhere, isn’t it. It’s all gone ‘Coachella mad!

Now, Coachella.. at least looks fun. It looks sunny and alive.  I just NOT a BRITISH festival kinda girl. I’m not one to want to camp in a tent, wee in a plastic cup and refrain from showering for days… in the name of anything. I’m a glamour puss. And i’m not really bothered about having Unicorn hair, rainbow glitter on my face and adorning my arm with endless wristbands, that aren’t made of diamonds. 🙂

I’m a kitten, who enjoys a ‘cocktail and a wink,‘ and yes I can slum it. I love to chill more than anything. I mean, chilling is my favourite thing. If you have ever dated me, ever…you will know that about me.

I’m too old to ‘festival’ or camp about.

I mean, Glamping in the forest , in my giant mansion of a cabin was about as far as my camping skills go…and even that had to include a massage, a hot tub, room service and the option of an ‘in house’ chef. 😉

My chick friend even once stated that..

‘Camping to Chrissie, is like staying in the worst room in some Five Star Hotel.’

I love that! I’m not a dick. I just don’t like things to be a struggle during my down time. I work really hard, even though it may not look that way. I work really REALLY hard. ALL THE TIME. My work ethic is incredible. I’m fun but i’m professional and most successful people are, I reckon? I simply play it like it’s all a jiggle and a winkl…because that’s what my job needs to look like…

I just prefer calm, easy going peace, or quiet luxury…that comes ready made with love..Festivals are a Wunna Land ‘no go.’ None of this waiting in line for a shower… in a tented field, filled with ‘drama’ boys, and girls with Unicorn hair because i’ve  paid extra pences and booked ‘Vanity.’

I’ll pass…

So, yeah, I enjoy fun. But a festival is just not my cuppa…gin.

I don’t have anything else to say….I’m off to meet ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Mag later I think….

I haven’t caught up with him in ages….

 

 

 

 

What a weekend, Secrets & Cougars

I need two extra days added onto my weekend please! It’s just been a ‘runner.’ Once of those ‘smash out of work on a Friday’ shindigs, that has glamourously led me into a weekend of ‘go, go, go.’ Schedules! Meetings! Babies! Madness! I’m shattered. I’ve lost my voice. I’d like Greek ‘Handsomes,’ in Toga’s to massage me back to good health. I’ve dropepd my phone and smashed my screen. (UGH!) AND, I’l tell you that I’ve accidentally got a dandy bit awesome at this whole ‘game of business’ malarky! To be fair, everything’s gone wrong this weekend. So technically, I could’ve just chilled it with Ruby and Junior in my comfies the whole time. Infact ‘wrong’ is the incorrect term. I’ll say it went ‘not as smoothly as it could’ve.’ But that’s because I spend so much time working hard throughout the week, that when it comes to the ‘weekend work,‘ I’m not remotely organised enough for it. I’ve learnt a lot. IN TWO DAYS. Over the next couple of months. I’m going to SMASH IT. *Cue: Beyonce Helicopter Hair Whip* Fuck it! Add *Lambrini shower sprays* to it also!

I’m just gonna skim it all, as I need time to chill, before Monday kicks me in the *hoo haa.*

Saturday was rushy. I did breakfast and shopping with the babies and my mum, as I magically *whirled* through the dash of life, in heels, big hair and whilst snatching last minute ‘needs’ to prep me for the weekend. I had to go pick up the car from Mercedes. I fitted in an important partnership meeting.

Me: ‘So what it is that you want me to help you with?’

Company: ‘*&&)($£”!$$£&**£, so how much?’

Kinda made me feel all powerful for a millisecond!

*Hands were shaken on this.*

Then, I grabbed my Gucci canvas bag and with the wind in my hair *dashed* quickly across town, in my faux fur to Cosmo’s. Where I enjoyed ACTUAL lunch, equipped with a wine drizzle, with my Mum, Dad, Brother, Ruby & Junior. We’re a really close family & it’s great because it makes my world always feel bubbled over with support, trust and that good old unconditional love. I am never emotionally starved or lonely. Wunna land is filled with LIFE. I always remember to *pause* and enjoy those moments with the people I love. Work is work. Even if you love what you do. Yet if your world isn’t balanced, you’ll find, in time that your soul will never be fulfilled. I ‘smell the roses’ and I smell’em good! 😉

Then I had to rush off, grab an outfit, constantly clock watch, as I treated The Wunna Babies to anything their hearts desired, make phone calls,  organise train times and get home as soon as I could. IN MINUTES, I  showered, tanned, did my hair, face and *pout.* I slipped on the tight gold pencil dress, quickly but delicately buckled on my rhinestone Gina Shoes (the ones that Paris Hilton gave me for getting naked. The poor sods have been dashed through life like glistening, burlesquesy….Wunna land…slaves.)

Kissed everyone ‘Goodbye,’ skipped into a waiting car, flung myself to the train station to get on the next ‘choo choo’ to Leeds for 7.30m, for my 8pm Business meeting, at ‘Mumtaz’ Leeds.

It kinda all went wrong from that point on…

I was texting through my journey, fully done up in a casual corner train seat, listening to the guy infront of me, tell the guy infront of him that he was..

‘Off to an Engagement party…’

‘Oh? I’m off to see some bird. Been talking to her for 2 weeks..’

Abeiku Arthur (who owns the High Fashion magazine ‘House of Solo‘ that I AM CURRENTLY IN) had messaged me, as he had two contributor meetings in Leeds also. We’re really good friends..really good friends and we always piss ourselves at life, our own businesses and at the same time wind each other up playfully, with our natural competitiveness. I WIN EVERYTHING!

The Leeds Skyline draws in, it’s now night and the sky is littered with stars, around me there is a bustle if excitement. I took the fun train to Leeds. That train where everyone is dressed up and ready for a night of cocktailing around the city. The boys with their shirted entourages, the girls in their heels and tight dressed winks.

I looked glamourous, BUT I had business to tend to…

Yet! OH WHAT DRAMA.

Right before I met this person, I was to print off a ‘non disclosure’ form, sign it and bring it to my meeting, to make sure that nothing discussed DURING the meeting was repeated. I didn’t have time to do the form. I couldn’t find a printer anywhere. Life was mayhem. We were messaging back and forth as HE couldn’t find a printer either…and then suggested that we push the meeting BACK to 9pm, instead of 8pm, so he could go and BUY A PRINTER, to print off the form and have me sign it before the meeting.

So, I had to chill for an hour with a wine, by station luggage trollies, in my golden dress and my faux fur, as strangers kept popping up to me and telling me that ‘loved the blog.’ All drunks love this blog. That makes me smile. 🙂 I don’t thing i’ve selfied with as many trashed people in my life. I should’ve charged.

Now, I was Snapchatting EVERYTHING! Thank you to those who were watching all this in action. And Abeiku Arthur was also watching my pain and PISSING HIMSELF LAUGHING.

So after he smashed his last meeting at 7pm, he messaged me to tell him to..

‘Meet me out the back..’

And there he was, with his smug little African face, pissing himself that CHRISSIE WUNNA, QUEEN OF GLAMOUR PUSSES, was stood on her own, by luggage trollies, looking like a dickhead, because unlike his finely polished meetings, MY MEETINGS WERE going tits up!

He sauntered out of his car, walked up to me and PISSED HIMSELF LAUGHING, demanded KFC and said,

‘It totally looks like you’ve been stood up! HHAHAHA!’

‘DUDE. I’m waiting for the guy to print off the non disclosure form before he speaks to me…’

”THAT’S FUCK UP. LOL. That’s not how you conduct business. You’re waiting by trollies I want a KFC.’

‘You know ********* is at ****** right now.’

‘Can’t you just fuck off your meeting and we’ll go there to see them…and then you can just get a ride home with me.’

‘No. I’ve got to be there in fifteen minutes..’

‘Surely people meet YOU because they want EVERYONE TO KNOW what they’re doing??? It’s backwards.’

Time flew with company…company that I was SO GRATEFUL for and it seemed that I was all dressed up with somewhere to go finally! Y’see, the thing about Mr. ‘House of Solo’ is that he’ll always pop up and keep me company…even if he’s performing a piss take.

He drove me to my meeting to make sure I was safe…

‘Right, i’ll wait here for five minutes, so text me….then i’m gone…’

I was fine. I mean, GOD. I’m the most independent chick that The Earth has ever birthed. But that was really sweet of him. He sang and danced all the way in the car, to ‘Boss it‘ hip hop jams, as he drove me, through the city streets.

My meeting was still..

‘I’m en route and running late….

So I stood on the bridge at The Leeds Docks, over the canal, watching the stillness of the night, as the lights of Mumtaz reflected onto the water and with mood lit, skyscraper buildings surrounding me. Tipsy 20 somethings.. in suits, who had been at the races all day staggered by in good spirit. There were couples, couples, everywhere couples. All in love. All excited. All in lust…and for the first time in ages…it bothered me. I wondered where my ‘counterpart’ was? Am I just going to be single forever? My life partner is currently roaming around the Earth…trying to find me. If you see him…GIVE HIM A FUCKING MAP, A LIFT, CALL HIM AN UBER, GET HIM HERE. 🙂

Then my meeting came walking across the bridge, by the Royal Armouries. (Which is where I did the Leeds Lifestyle Awards.’ He shook my hand under the evening stars…as he introduced himself…

AND I CAN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING MORE BECAUSE OF A NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT LOL. 

I got home at midnight. I had early morning breakfast with the babies. We all went to a shoot at noon, yet we had to push it back to Saturday, so I can sort out better styling etc…These shots are going to be AMAZING and we all agreed that we wanted them out there exactly right! (So I’ll be telling you all about it….next weekend.)

I then did lunch with my Mum at my Favoruite Local spot Ego, in Ackworth. What is better than Sunday Dinner and cocktails. The kids love it. I love it.

AND….

I SPOTTED A REAL LIFE COUGAR IN THERE TODAY. I always talk about cougars and joke about how i’m one in training. (I’m not joking. I AM one in training. I always date younger than me.)

But I hardly ever see a real life ‘Cougary Couple.’ TODAY! I DID! And it made me feel moderately awkward. Lol. She didn’t OWN her Cougarness…She infact looked really insecure. Hahaha! Like whenever he looked away, at just ANYTHING. A glass, a light switch…a hot Burmese Oriental chick. 🙂 She threw ‘daggers’ at him with her eyes. I can’t tell if he’s going to get loads of blow jobs tonight, so she wins him back over, or if he’s going to get none for just looking around him?

When i’m a cougar. I’m going to BOSS IT! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changes, Heels & Life Paths

‘I need to thank someone. Can I send them nudes of you?’ Said Double B to the freshly ‘one layer’ of Skinny Tanned Burmese Glamour puss.

‘Yeah sure. 🙂 ‘

Then we started talking about Chinese Burns and how it was the answer to all our playground troubles back in the day.

‘I’ll give you a Chinese Burn…’

Double B’s ‘beau’ still gives her Chinese Burns when she buys Rapunzel hair for £300. 🙂

‘I should get shoes next time. 🙂

‘Have you made that phone call?’

‘I can’t be arsed with Monday.’

‘Where’s the diary?’

Monday was hard for me today. I don’t even know why? I just had to write it off with a *wink* because I spent the day on an ‘off’ beat, and in the words of Cher, the beat always goes on…so if you’re knocking about on the ‘off’ beat, you’re fumbling. 🙂

Monday and I were not even nearly friends. I’m more friends with my waist trainer than I was with this Monday. …and I hate ‘Veronica’ my waist trainer. I keep trying to lose her. But like a shitty relationship, she keeps tottering back. (The bitch. 🙂 ) SEND NUDES.

I found it really hard to get my freshly pampered ‘weekend’ self up and rocket dash into today and I think it’s because I’m focused, but my mind is all over the place. I’m trying to concentrate, as I have a massive week, I have a lot going on…and I have a lot of things in the ‘pending’ part of my brain box, which is always awful because you don’t have control of them. Yet part of my ‘this year’ is to let go of the things you can’t control and simply leave them to good old destiny….and evening wine pours.

We all tottered in from different directions…Double B drove in, in her gangsta green Mercedes. ‘Fairytale Blond’ rocked up, with her posh Tweed over coat, after stepping out of her fairytale Mini. Firmonnell had just done the mad dash over, after doing the child minder drop offs, in her reliable, she ‘loves it’ Ford Focus. Mel sauntered through the door, wrapped in her stylish red coat…and I strutted in with my Little Mistress faux fur, after a casual drive, a quick trip for a latte and a saunter up, from the posh part of Ponte. 🙂

The ‘King of the North’ even dashed by me, blue suited and booted with a hundred red files in his arms…and as he passed, with his positively perfectly groomed hair, (his wife does it for him every morning) he looked to his side and gave me a cheeky, ‘welcome to the dark side’ morning smile.

I had Skinny Tanned, so even though I was on my ‘off’ beat, I was still feeling fabulous because my legs were now a it more glowy. It quenched my ‘why am I not sat with a cocktail in my hand, in a sunny, sunny land, on a inflatable flamingo, bobbing around a glamourous pool side’ thirst?

Firmonnell: ‘Oh your legs look Asian today, cos usually your face is Asian, but your legs are white…’ 🙂

Monday’s are rubbish for everyone, but we did it, we got on with it…and well everything seems to be evolving…or should I say changing..?

I went through a ‘last year’ of massive changes and even though they terrified me because they took me away from that comfy soft pillowness, that made me feel safe and not necessarily UTTERLY happy…I knew that life was about change, developing and doing what your heart is loyal to. You have one life to live…embrace it. But i’m not someone who will make the best out of bad bargain. I’m someone who will FEEL, decide… and after a little thought… react. I don’t over think things, I just casually weigh up the ‘doo daahs’ and quickly make a decision.

We’re all going through changes right now, be it in love, work, home life…location…all sorts.

New chapters are everything because when you choose an alternate side road, you MAY find, that it was a road that you were MEANT to take. In the long run, you’ll see why…

I had the BEST old chapter…and I LOVE MY NEW CHAPTER…but my world…my life…well it’s still developing. However, for each and every one of my chick friends (and we all rode in from different parts of town, we’re different parts of ladies, but it’s that bundle of  difference parts that makes us so close..) Well we’re all going through really big life changes…without us actually realizing…and we’re doing it together…

Some are falling in love, some are in a swirl over new commitments, some have brand new fairytale homes to look forward to, some have bright futures, safe present times, or really big decisions to make. Some of us have new career paths, new opportunities laid out in front of us…some of us are heartbroken & snogging strangers, whilst some of us are stable…Some of us prefer the old ways, some of us embrace the new…

Yet, what i know about life, is that it’s all about chapters and GOD you’re a long time dead. I always say that, you have 100 years to do whatever you want in life, so go for it, fall in love, have your heart broken, live, laugh, dance in the rain…You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. and a decade from now, you will look back on this exact moment and either giggle at how funny you were, shake your head with regret, or be glad that you took that side road.

Where you LAND is what matters and even though you may leave a lot of happy memories behind you….It’s those happy memories that you’ll always HAVE to treasure. So when you GET to the age, where in which you’re on that shitty rocking chair with your knitting needles in tow and you tell your doughy eyed grand kids the story of your life….You glow because it STILL IS and ALWAYS WAS so wonderful…

Don’t be afraid to take new steps…even if they’re baby ones. Be loyal to what you believe is right for you, embrace changes and just fucking go for it…

I have never once in my life got ANYWHERE, without taking that side road….

If you’re scared of love, be brave enough to trust yourself and your choices and FALL IN LOVE without fear. If a new opportunity has sprung out of nowhere and it makes you eternally smile…move with it, enjoy it, it doesn’t come around often. If you’ve always been on the move and you finally have something stable…LOVE BEING STILL.

No matter what you do…It’s your story…and no one on this Earth CAN DO IT better than you. Button up, zip up, hold your head high and strut.

We all left each other today, in our Tweed jacket, Faux fur, Rapunzel hair, Red coat… heels and handbags…to ‘tango’ our usual paths home….

However, I looked down at my phone to read a message…and with a Wunna *smirk* I knew at that point…that everything was about to change…

 

 

 

But a second hand emotion…

‘You’re know you’re only doing a ONCE A MONTH meet up! That’s ONLY TWELVE choices for the year…’

‘Oh…’

‘So, I suggest you quit saying yes to everyone…and take a look through all your messages and pick wisely. It’s like you’ve signed yourself up to 12 a fricking DAY!’

Thank you for all your messages, inboxes and comments. I’m reading them ALL and I can’t even actually believe how many of you responded. I’ve said yes to a lot of you, so I will find time for you. Lol. Yet, I agree, because as I’m busying up, picking 12 of you gradually, to ‘do life’ with, is probably a bit wiser.

I WILL SAY that the majority of you sent me lovely messages, that I actually felt inspired by, as I sipped on an evening Prosecco in my pink polka dot pyjamas, watching you all ‘Like/Like/Comment/Comment.’ There have been some really great finds, so I can’t wait to meet you…soon.

But OH MY GOD, let me kindly add that these aren’t WIN SEX WITH ME ‘meet ups.’ Lol. I’ve had boys send me, some of the oddest messages, offering me booze, a ‘boning’ and/or they’re bodies.

It’s about crossing life paths, the experience of it all and the art of written word story telling… in great shoes, with great hair and at a great venue.. 🙂

So something on the lines of this…

‘Babe, I should win because I just really need to get laid. Where you at?’

Isn’t going to score you a ‘Wunna Meet Me’ day? Lol. But I thought you’d get that?  I should be sending you guys ‘boobie’ prizes..and not the good kind. *Slaps in boxes* is what you require.

In fact, if I’m really honest, in the most stuck up manner (and I AM NEVER STUCK UP, OR TOO PROUD FOR ANYTHING,) I looked at my chick friend, as she lip glossed and selfied and with a slow motion hair toss, I ACTUALLY said,

‘Who does he think he is!’ Lol.

I haven’t said that phrase, out loud….in YEARS! I don’t even know why I felt so offended???  It’s not like I haven’t heard or seen worse?? (AND BOY HAVE I HEARD IT.)

So yes, I’m a sensual being by nature…and I get it…I get that…I mean GOD I helped design an ENTIRE sex toy range for Ann Summers and spent a merry chunk of my existence as a Glamour Model. I get it!  YET, there are ways to say things, so choose your words wisely. Lol. Being a gentleman, or taking the humorous approach into Wunna land, will never serve you wrong.  I enjoy bluntness, yet if it isn’t wrapped in charm, wit, cleverness or just good manners…you’re fucked. (And I don’t mean the good kind. 🙂 )

I’ve had the busiest day EVER and I know you’re sick of hearing it, because i’m SICK of saying it. But it’s true and i’m lucky to be busy. Yet, you know when you just need more hours …Those hours were needed…and are still nowhere to be found.

The great thing about it all is that I managed to laugh, smile and order wine at the end of it… with *can can* kicks. I’m a positive soul…When it gets like that you just have to have fun, work hard, go with it and hope for the goddamn best..with laughter! It’s amazing how contagious laughter and a great energy can be. That is ALSO how I pick my partners.

Right now, it all just feels like the beginning of something exciting (you all know that feeling and sometimes we forget to feel it) and it FEELS so good because i’ve accidentally and slowly been building a baby sized Wunna Empire AND I’ve managed to drink rum cocktails  all the way through it. 🙂 Hurrah!

I’ve just been through a jolly load of ‘ups & downs‘ in both work, my love life and jeeze, even in my life in general and you’ve followed it. To this day…I have no clue why??? Some day, that I’ve done it glamourously? Some say that I apparently reach out to such a diverse range of people, that there are pieces to me that everyone, no matter what age, life, gender or path they are, live or walk can relate to? Some say I’m ambitious? Some say I’m an ego maniac? Some say ‘i’m off the telly?’ Been naked? Talented? Just pretty? Expressive? Smart? Dumb? A writer? A business woman? A model? A mum? An attention whore? All sorts. I’m just one of these beings that managed to featured in The Times AND the Boobpedia on the same day. Lol. I don’t get it either? But all that matters is that it’s working and it’s working because of you. So I thank you every day, for reading this.

(Why am I currently having a flashback of my ex hubby Keiran forcing me to prize off my engagement ring because I had chosen to go do a shoot? I remember that day clearly and again, I have no clue why I do? We’re both good friends now we’re separated. Yet that day, now I think back, I remember him being so annoyed in the kitchen and he reluctantly drove me to my shoot in Leeds, that was for an appearance, for my book launch…He THREW my pink leopard print suitcase out the car, after he had cried to a Katy Perry song, I was feeling all heart broken and confused but being silent about it and then after picking my suitcase up from the side of the street, walking around a corner and being greeted by Jamie the organizer, with a smile on my face like nothing had happened, I walked in, got changed, went through a brief prep and shot this picture…

That’s why I always use this photo. It reminds me of a time where in which I could’ve chosen to be weak, but I chose to be strong. Makes me feel empowered. After that shot, I sauntered off to the side and privately reached for my phone…of course. Girls are girls. I tried to call him, as I had no messages and he deliberately didn’t answer to make me feel uncomfortable. I was in the loo, but had to quickly leave a message because of the girls had come in and I didn’t want her to know what was going on.)

The GREAT thing about that moment of my life, was that IN that toilet, IN that empty club, through the day, in Leeds, at MY book launch shoot, I vowed to NEVER EVER be like him (well how he was then) with ANYONE and to never TRY to get in the way of someones dream/career.

Why have I just remembered that? Weird?

Definitely need a wine now. Lol

I’ve just received an email from a clothing brand who’d like to meet  with me and I also have a whatsapp message…

London Business Man: ‘You totally HAVE forgotten me…’