It’s All A Bit Of A Cheeky Jumble….

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Happy Monday!!! How are you all? I’m alright today, to say it’s Monday. I’ve got a lot of ‘first part of the week’ work on….and like i’ve just said to a friend,

‘Once it’s all sorted, shot, filmed, out there and promo’d…I’ll be able to finally shit..Shit? I meant *SIT*…Lol… chill and enjoy.’

There’s so any little bits going on and i’m just not being organised. I need to grab all the loose ends and bow tie them pronto. I’m sort of letting it take control of ME, rather than OWNING the reins like a champion.

Whatsapp Msg: ‘Get ya arse into gear and sort it out…’

I have modes. When i’m on ‘work’ mode, I ROCKET IT. I have tunnel vision and I smash it about with my Girl Boss’ wink. When i’m on ‘lets have fun’ mode…That’s all I can seem to do. And I always only do what I want. Never anything less. I’m naturally fun, so it’s easy. Then, finally when i’m on ‘chill’ mode, which is my favourite mode….I adorn the art of relaxing in true glamour puss style. I like to put things in categories…So technically, I must be more organised than i believe?


But like I said, a gzillion shoots, blogs, advert filming, auditions and all sorts is on the cards. I even have to finish off writing a book in that time.

I’ll do it. I’ve got my ‘updo’ in and that always makes me work harder. πŸ˜‰ The kids even gave me neon ‘putty’ to destress me, in case I went mental.

They both went to their Fathers, yesterday afternoon and I molded putty into a penis, a bracelet and a bottle opener, because you really don’t need anything more than those three items in life.

In that time, I could’ve smashed work emails or shot more content. πŸ™‚ But it was Sunday and Sunday’s are about chilling, right? Lol

I love my excuses.

I mean, who dashes about on a Sunday? (Other than all the most successful people in the world.Β  πŸ™‚ ) Sometimes, I get my priorities straight and other times…I just don’t.

Like right now, I’m having a conversation about how I was late to my own WEDDING REHEARSAL in LA, because I was shopping. They had to do it without me. Lol. I didn’t prioritize well on that day. (It was the first time around.)

Actually, in my DEFENSE…(and this is all in my ‘ABOUT ME’ section on this site, which you can all go and read, if you fancy.) I didn’t see it as a priority because I was actually already secretly married to the groom. No one knew, but us and our two best friends, who witnessed it. So the wedding was more like a ‘production‘ than a real life thing.

Shopping came first that day. πŸ™‚

If I ever got married again….I’d do it privately…and tell you about it afterwards.

But back to work! I’ve managed to get distracted again…

The good thing is, that at least my business is ‘my own life’ and the work part of ‘my own life’ is online. So, like I said, once i’ve whipped all the ‘graft’Β ..I can ‘glamourously’ relax for a bit, and let it HOPEFULLY work it’s own magic.

I like the word ‘MAGIC.’ Do you?

Right, i’m off because I’ve actually got quite a lot to master today. Plus, a parents evening for Junior this afternoon.

This conservation has just happened with one of my chick friends..

‘Why is my life shit!’

‘Your life isn’t shit! Yours is ace. Mine is shit.’

‘No, we’ve both got shit lives…but just doing shit’

When that convo happens, you know you’re actually alright, because if things were really that shitty, you’d hit *panic* button and run around screaming. You wouldn’t be laughing about it. πŸ™‚

Hope you have an amazing Monday!

Oh and i’m getting a ton of messages about my ‘Only Fans’ thing. The site where you can subscribe to ‘exclusive’ content…which is the ‘cheeky’ version of my selfies.

The reason why I’ve started that, is simply because I have a lot of followers from all different walks of lives, all different ages, all different genders and with all different ‘wants.’

And I feel as though everyone is sort of getting mixed up in a jumble. So i’ve giving people specific places to go…So that they can find what they are PERSONALLY looking for in Wunna Land.

If you like to follow my diary, actually read the blog and specifically follow my life..It’s here. It’s you number one WUNNA LAND SPOT. Everything you want or need to know or learn about me, is here.

My Instagram will become more ‘LIFESTYLE.’ It’ll become more ‘Influencery.’ (Which is always great for the girls and teens.)

One Facebook Profile will become ‘family.’

My Twitter will be my brief bursts of banter.

My Stories & Snapchat will just be video…

And my Only Fans content will be for all the gents, who just want to see the ‘cheeky’ pics, which they’ll have to subscribe too….as lets face it…I won’t have my bra on…and it’s cold. πŸ™‚

This is all happening shortly…and by next month…It will all be in place. So, there’s no more jumble and each ‘social’ will have a different voice.

Got it?

See! I am organised after all! πŸ˜‰





When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’Β and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ πŸ˜‰ Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. πŸ™‚ )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it. Β I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. πŸ™‚ I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…


I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. πŸ™‚

Speak soon,

Chrissie x









Thirty Something & Kebabs


Well! Hellooo the weekend. I’m bubbling over with a’ joie de vivre’ and refusing to let any petty drama, that ‘The Gods’ often like to deliver to my glitzy door, get to me. I’m like Batfink today. I’m rocking my wings of steel and totally with heels. If the negative comes here me, I’ll just cough on it so it gets the flu. Yippeee! That’s the best thing about having baby flu systems, you can spread it by coughing on the people you don’t like.

So, yesterday I had big ‘one on one’ evening with Baby Junior, as Baby Ruby went to her ‘Daddy Pete’s’ for a play and a stop over. Pete literally only lives a street and a bit away from me, so it’s practically ideal for last minute stop-over decisions. She had fallen asleep there anyway. It was raining outside. So why bother waking her up, just to drag her out into the rain an tuck her in 2 streets away. I’ve had that done to me as an adult millions of times throughout my 20’s. I hated it. But saying that, I was hungover most of the times, so maybe that had something to do with it? The best thin about being a 30 something oldie is the simple fact that I NEVER HAVE TO DO the WALK OF SHAME EVER AGAIN. It just doesn’t happen because i’m far more ‘together’ these days, meaning you don’t find me sleeping at someone else’s house, still in last night’s face and some squeezy tight party dress.’s an awful feeling innit. Especially if you have to walk through ‘normal life’ the next morning to get home. GROSS! I’ve had to do it in a Playboy bunny outfit before, when I had to sleep at a train station because I had missed the last train home. I always tell that story like it’s some heroic part of my life, when really my behaviour was disgraceful. πŸ™‚ Plus, I always moan that I had to walk through armies of laptop carrying business men, who were all boarding the same train as me, except I was in bunny ears. But why didn’t I just TAKE MY BUNNY EARS OFF? Being young, is being stupid to me. Yet only because I made so many stupid decisions, whilst being young. Some of today’s youth really do have their acts together. However, I got applauded for my foolishness and got on the telly for it. So at the time, you can’t blame me for thinking I was GREATNESS. What a twat, I was. I have a young spirit, so there’s still glint in my eye, a wiggle in my wink..Yet you won’t find me asleep on a train station bench, in bunny ears these days. If I ever was in such a predicament, I’d just check into a nearby hotel and ‘large’ it up in the comfort of luxury. πŸ™‚ That’s the difference of being 20 something to 30 something.

But yes, Baby Junior, who is an adoring Mummy’s boy, which I LOVE to pieces, has just gone for a day trip out with Keiran. Junior and I had the best night ever together, filled with more giggles, more smiles and more love. He’s really used to women and being cuddled by them, form being at nursery and at home. He doesn’t actually, now I think about it come into contact with many men. When Keiran arrived this morning, Junior was chipper, yet he sort of stared at him with a ‘what are you?’ Men freak him out. Hopefully Keiran and I will get back on track soon, which we have recently agreed to. Then he’ll be able to spend more time with Baby J and well I won’t have a son that is confused by gents, which will probably work out a lot better in the future. πŸ™‚

Ruby however, is the opposite. She adores men, boys and everything that fits that genre. She is close to me and even more so these days. Yet as soon as ‘Daddy Pete’ or ‘Daddy Keiran’ strut in, here heart flies out of her chest and she gallops around with excitement to the merry sound of love.

I’m currently waiting for her to get home, as she has her ‘one on one’ day today, where it’s ‘all about Ruby.’ What we usually do…is shop. A past time that SHE loves. Β And we do the shopping thing, simply because as a child that’s how I bonded with my Mama. I still do it to this day. It’s not about the purchasing, as we’ll just slide anything into our baskets, bags or buggies, once we’ve paid for it ofcourse. πŸ™‚ (That sounded all criminal.) It’s more the bonding and what we’re talking about that makes the shopping trip ace. The background noise to our bonding session is the shopping. But that makes sense to us, as we’re Wunna’s. I’m really open with my parents, we’re a really close net family. And I really want that for my little family branch. We already have the bond, it’s just the ‘getting it together’ that will make it perfect. I mean, I’m the kinda mum that will let my children tell me anything and i’ll never judge them, only adore them, help them Β and get them out of trouble if they need me to. I’m hardly one to ever judge, as my past certainly smears a glittery, buttery spread of disaster. Yet the disaster has made me a wise grown up and i’m a proper grown up now, so I’ve impressed myself fully. πŸ™‚

I treated myself to a giantly, disgusting KEBAB last night, whilst iwas hiding form the rain, watching Geordie Shore, Charlotte win Celebrity Big Brother, be shocked that TOWIE Mario wasn’t one of the last two left in there (he’s a dreamboat now, I like a family oriented man, who can make bread) and then get dipped into the shocker that is ‘Celebrity Super Spa.’

Now, I love reality shows that include Celebrities. Jody (as in ‘Latham’) is a friend of mine and hopefully he’ll win it, but i’m not sure how well that show has started. Helen Flanagan, is already doing my head on it. She did my head in when she was on ‘I’m a Celebrity’ but I she makes good telly..and that’s all it’s about at the end of the day. I can’t decide if she is that moany and unstable in real life or if she’s just doing it for attention, airtime, more fame and all in the name of entertainment. If the latter is the reason to her antics, then even though she’s annoying, I absolutely don’t mind that. πŸ™‚ (Oh? I actually feel bad now, because as i’m ranting i’ve just had it pointed out to me that sh actually has ADHD and is being treated for Bi-Polar disorder. OOps! Sorry Helen.)

Anyway, i’m off to have a quick coffee, before the arrival of my little baby girl. I’m looking forward to today and can’t wait to have her wiggle in with a ‘diva.’ I feel like I’m gonna have a really good day today and that good things are gonna be a happening.

In life, all you have to do is embrace it, not take the little bits of pettiness too seriously, enjoy who you enjoy, be grateful, respectful, love hard and care for the ones that rely on you. You should probably smile to, as that way more people obey you, because they think you’re actually kind. πŸ™‚

Love you! See you!

Happy Saturday.

Good things are coming my way! Why? Simply because I can FEEL it. There’s a buzz about my being right now! I love it! Great feeling!


Ps/I’m dressed in white today, like a virgin..and I could actually BE a born again virgin now, because I haven’t had sex in so long. Β It was cold this morning. Looked like it was gonna rain. But of course now the suns come out, so i’ll have flies bitting around me like i’m a freshly dolloped cow pat. #sexy #donthate

Pps/ I’m getting MORE inbox messages, to my full FB account, all from men asking me if I’m actually married and if an actual ‘real life person?’ It totally confuses me. All i’ve said it ‘Yes.’ I’m not sure how they expect me to prove it. Unless of course they’re trying to trick me into meeting up with them. #ASIF #NEVERGOINGTOHAPPEN I’m not ending up under someones patio paving. It’ll be far to claustrophobic under there. Plus, my up-do would never fit. When I was a Hollywood resident, I was a lot sharper when it came to the the Tom Foolery of the opposite sex. Now, that I’ve been in Yorkshire for so long, i’ve become a great deal more mellow and trusting..and older. I need to get back to being on the the trigger.