Laughter, Love, Busy Times & Pie

I wrote this yesterday but didn’t bother to publish it…

One of those amazing days where you just SMASH IT. Filled with work. Filled with achievement. One of those glitzy ‘knuckle down’ and get kicking flourishes of absolute ‘in the end’ victory wiggles to wild air guitar vibes and that good old glorious positive energy …AND EVERYWHERE.

‘She never gets stressed. She literally THE MOST chilled person ever.’ said Vogue, Top Knot ‘Double B’ about the Ageing Burmese Glamour Puss to the masses.

Then we wee’d ourselves laughing over the ‘one liner’ of the night, as it seems that there is ALWAYS a moment, during each busy working evening, where in which an accidental inappropriate statement is made that makes us both *pause* and then PISS OURSELVES laughing. Something about the lack of legs and certain sexual preferences. 🙂

Everyone keeps asking me about any news on boys or dating? No news. No dates. I still haven’t even properly managed to effectively reply to ‘London Business Man’ and we’re just friends. I think because it’s kinda in the past for me now and because life and my priorities have altered, I’d just catch up and do drinks with him. Yet in the words of a close chick friend,

‘Didn’t he choose another girl over you at the beginning of last year and now that your doing SO well, he’s decided he made a mistake and now wants to date you?’

And yes…that is EXACTLY what has happened. So, technically, it’s not my fault that i’m unable to effectively reply or see him because surely my Mr.Right would know that I was fantastic right from the beginning? AND understand what I do, where I want to be and believe in it from the get go? Women are like business. You could lose a great deal, over a simple bad minute choice.

Yet, I’m not a ‘Bittery Mittery.’ I’m fun. I’d do cocktails with him in the name of friendship and good times. Like ‘Eton Mess’ and I….’London Business Man’ and I just have different life paths. Great guy. Just not my Mr.Right. And it’s mainly because I’ve noticed that even just as friends, he moans at me because I ‘don’t care about him’ or ‘i’ve forgotten him’ a lot and moans about the fact that I’m working all the time. I don’t like moaning. Yes, I like guys who go for it. If you like a girl…GO FOR IT. Send her that message. Tell her you’re keen. But being moaney at her, for her pursuing a dream and not putting you first is not going to score you points. BOYS do that. MEN weight everything up, pick up the pieces, jigsaw it together and build it into something even greater. As do women. (Yet we nurture and love.) So, I’ll know when I’ve met the right guy, because that’s what he’ll do and he’ll know that i’m the right chick, because that what I’ll do.

I’m open to lvoe and romance and I do hope to find it. YET, I won’t settle for something that isn’t right, because life is far too short for that. To me…..NOTHING is stronger than a TEAM, but the right team is what works. And I mean that  in work and romance. So if you bring the correct love into your life…you can only BLOOM to your highest potential. YET, the wrong dash of ‘ooh laa’ will STRESS YOU  THE FUCK OUT! Haha.  But only because they won’t understand the way your life works…so that part is vital.

I wrote this today after I got back from a rushy day of work work work…

Opposite day! So busy! So stressy! So hilarious, that ‘Firmonell’ and I just looked at each other and laughed with our fingers crossed and the intention to drink a river load of wine as soon as it was all over. Lol.Cupid hates me. But Bacchus and I… are DUDES!

But instead of rambling on, let me skim it for you…There were some great parts between the manic ‘busy.’

Mel baked me a cottage pie and even portioned out ready for me to eat at lunchtime. I love Mel. She is the most thoughtful human ever, who dashed off to get ‘Slimming world’ weighed, yet even managed to remember to bring me gravy. I love Mel. I thanked her with fresh cream Donuts. It was donut kinda day. Then we found ourselves doing these ‘old women’ love life rants at  23 year olds, who were exchanging ‘should get done anyway’ lifts for Chinese food.

Mel: ‘This is why we’re always single.’

Me: ‘You’re not even single anymore.’

I am sat on the shelf on my own. But i don’t care because i’m glitter shelf is FABULOUS. Don’t get it twisted. Lol. It has cottage pie and everything.

I ordered a waist trainer, because I feel all fat and wibbly. I know it’s not going to work. But it makes me feel better doesn’t it, so lets just pretend all’s well and let me get my ‘hour glass frame‘ on.

‘Ooh if it works on you than i’m getting one,‘ said Hot Sarah, who also recently shared the knowledge that cave women were sexier to cavemen, when they were on their period. SO (yes it didn’t end there…) THEY FOUGHT to come on their period FIRST simply to get laid? HAHAHA. Delcious bit of knowledge for you.

Mel: ‘We’ll watch Chrissie and see if she gets skinnier, we’ll all get one!’

Great! Lol. I’m gonna sit there like a hot oriental pig, in a fricking under garment corset, typing away, as they look upon me, feeding me up with pie and deciding if I look like the face of ‘Waist Trainer UK.’ 🙂 I’m sure my life is more glamorous than this? I’m not going to eat anything. Just wear the waist trainer and drink prosecco..whilst holding a kitten for the ‘aww’ factor and wearing ‘just frilles’ for the ‘ooh’ factor. It comes on Friday, so if I do anything this month…THE MONTH OF LURVE. It will BE with the BEST WAIST LINE EVER….:)

Firmonell: ‘I definitely heard Big D WAIT until I went to bed last night, before he opened a bottle of rum that I had banned him from drinking.’

Me: ‘I’d drink a rum on an evening?’

Firmonell: ‘Yes, but you’re an alcoholic…’

But not to ramble on about all that…

The blog, the brand, the ‘baddaboom’  IS really great right now! It’s buzzing in the palm of my little glittery hand. I’m feeling extra lucky and I shouldn’t say ‘lucky’ because GOD i’ve worked my sexy socks off for everything. But yeah, it’s all just slotting into place and GOD with a waist line AS WELL, you’ll all certainly collapse at knees and worship me at altars.

*I’ve just paused to do a set of sit ups. Hang on…*

Lots of stuff going on, I’m looking forward to The Cocktail experience in March. The best made cocktails, by all your favourite cocktail bars, under one glitzy roof. Ofcourse i’m there. OFCOURSE I’M THERE to cover it. I have Social Day. The British Style Collective. Miss Swimsuit Uk. The UK Blog Awards. Summit Live. The Brits. The British Lifestyle Awards. My personal Cocktail Tour and just everything everywhere, with everyone.

At the same time I have an inbox FILLED with exciting stuff. It’s sort of oozing away with proposals from brands that are, lets say… very ME. I’m excited.

I’ve come home today, thinking that I’d have time to decide who my first ‘Wunna Meet Me’ winner would be, but instead I got caught up with cooking tea for Ruby, blogging, and doing a bunch of interviews. I also have my House of Solo shoot coming out in the magazine shortly. I think ‘Abeiku A’ is at the Leeds fashion Event tonight? Lord knows when it’s due out? But I think we’re talking days now? I’l tell you when it’s out, don’t worry. 😉

I’m definitely in the mood for love. I want a calm, easy ‘love swirl’ of magic. Everyone deserves a bit of romance in February. I want flowers and kittens with bows on goddam it.

Maybe I should make my first ‘Wunna Meet’ winner be a date?

Maybe I should just chill a second and have a gin and tonic…

Love you. N’night! x




Miss Swimwear UK Parties & Reality Boys Nights


Hope you’ve had the most AMAZING Christmas! I spoilt my kids rotten and I don’t even care because they deserve more than anything. I do the single mum thing well and I never want them to ever feel that they’ve gone without anything physically, emotionally, mentally or financially. I’ve worked my arse off ALL year, and i’m starting to empire build, so if i can’t spend it my little pieces of love, even if they’re stroppy, then who can I spend it on!

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With Christmas, it makes no difference if you’ve spent it with family, got pissed with friends, had a quiet one to yourself after a truly busy work year, or simply spent it, in a way that you wish you never had. It’s done now and it was a simple chapter to your story. My news feed is filled with people who are either devastated that George Michael and Carrie Fisher have died or people who are stating that we’re currently floating in limbo, that time where it’s no longer Christmas, yet it’s not the New Year either. In my mind, we’re still LIVING, we’re still loving and we shouldn’t ‘book end’ phases of life, should we, cos it’s stupid? We’re not in limbo…we’re doing TODAY! So do it well! I mean, GOD I deliberately didn’t ‘wind down’ during the weeks before Christmas, as I wanted to *smash* into the New year, with my Louboutins kicking in ‘Karate Champion’ mode. I wanted to get ahead. So whilst most ‘shimmered down,’ I bubbled up and went for it and because of that I HAVE HAD THE BEST YEAR EVER so far and have set myself up (hopefully lol) for a decent 2017.

However, let’s take a peek back, as even though i’ve spent a whole lot of time with my family and the babies over Christmas, I seem to have been on this GIANT GLITTERY, if not almost GLAMOUROUS BENDER that feels as though it has lasted weeks. 🙂 I’ve been happy. I’ve been knackered. I’ve had far too much to drink and i’ve even puked. (Which is always disgusting, even with a hair toss and..tits. Lol)

But yes, let me take you back to around five days ago, (I hate a back track blog, as i love the moment when it’s still ‘live’.)  I decided to go shimmie at the ‘Official Miss Swimsuit UK Xmas Party’ at Oracle Leeds. It was last minute decision to go, so I spoke to Verena who was the Queen of the event. The chick who was putting it all together and running the entire show, single handedly. (You know how much I LOVE ladies who can ‘Boss it.’) She’s been throwing Miss Swimsuit UK castings a over the nation, in order to finally find the Ultimate Winner, it was near, it sounded fun and this celeb event was to simply kick back and celebrate the success of the year. Sounded great to me! So ‘House of Solo’ and I went to check the event out. (‘House of Solo’ is currently the luckiest bastard known to mankind, as he gets to be my Plus 1 to literally everything and is cheeky enough to tell me to take him. Lol. But it helps us both out, as he’s running his Fashion Magazine and I’ve got the blog to ‘Victory Sign’ so like i said previously, it’s great having a buddy who’s into business and dashed in ambition. ‘I’d never know any of this was going on if it wasn’t for you,’ said the Fashion Mag owner to the Burmese Glamour Puss. Then he topped it off with a ‘God, you look TIRED,‘ as I stepped into the car! Lol. Fucks sake! Haha! He’s ace.)

Anyway, we’re both from the same town, so we know Oracle like the back of our hands. We got there early, before it all started, as it’s a better time to get to see things, hear things and chat to people. I SCAN EVERYTHING. Even when you think i’m not. I’m so good at it now that my mind is almost trained to photograph and remember everything that’s relevant.

As soon as we walk in, ULTIMATE GLITTERATTI GLAMOUR is what oozed out of the walls and swirled through the air, in a stylish, yet almost seductive fashion, that felt dazzled in fresh innocence. It was all bright white furnitured, soaked in purple mood lighting with large glamourous mirrors everywhere. It felt good to be there and as I walked through the door I saw a lady, gorgeous body, beautiful vixen, thin, pouting in a tiny silver dress, with a bright white faux fur shoulder drape, heels and a giant *Queen* crown on her head, posing camera shots. (There were lights and cameras EVERYWHERE.)

In fact, slowly, everywhere we looked beautiful boobied, glamourous sexy ladies, kept randomly appearing out of nowhere! Some were sat by champagne buckets. Some lip glossing in the giant mirrors. Some arriving to shoot in bikinis…All types. All ages. All tremendously attractive! I took a bunch of selfies and tweeted them out as fast as I could, then as ‘House of Solo’ was wallowing in a blissful glee of booby heaven (lol,) I  shot a text over to Verena reading,

‘Hi, I’m here! Are you about?’

Immediately, the most glamourous lady strutted up to me, the one that had been posing in the crown, all smiles, all northern, all filled with excitement and with this almost magnetic look, she said,

‘I’m ‘ere Chrissie.’ 

Now, we’ve actually known of each other for years. We’ve messaged before. never met in person, but i’ve always been watching all the things she’s been up to. She takes a lot on, she’s a hustler and if anything she to is mega ambitious. The way i’d put it, is that she’s one of those ‘knows everybody and works really hard’ kinda chicks. She wants to make her mark and IS doing. She’s bubbly, she’s glamourous, but you do not fuck with Vereena. Lol. She looks like she’s not to be messed with. AND I LIKE THAT!

We chatted. We hugged, She gave me the run down of events. The ‘what i can do’s‘ and the ‘what i can’t’s.’  Y’see, I’m respectful, so i’ll honour the *cant’s*…MOST OF THE TIME :). Haha. In fact, no…. to be honest, I usually do whatever the balls, I want. 🙂 It’s my blog and well i’ll get what i need. 🙂 YET, i had this respect for Vereena after chatting to her and meeting her and I witnessed the ‘want to do well’ in her. It caught my eye and it was that that made me respect her massively. So I did what I was told and wasn’t naughty at all. (And that so good for me.)

Fabulous start! ‘House o Solo’ was off doing his own thing, making his own connections for his magazine. I was selfie taking, watching everything, Tweeting out and doing my own media board shots or the camera. I was getting more and more excited for the evening, as there was just this good vibe of energy darting about the bar. Everyone as happy. The girls had now arrived and we’re posing for Pap pictures in their matching swimsuits. The bar had now opened (the event had not yet begun,) but the cutest Bunny Girls were tottering around with giggles and heels serving drinks. It was turning into a magical swirl of fun. It was very alive, young and very current. It was also cool, because Helen Holt, the DJ for Menagerie was playing that night and I got to do my arrival shots with her. Remember that I was fresh off the Menagerie floor, after my birthday antics with the delightful Lisa Appleton. (Her bum and her heroic carrying of me got into the pages of The Sun, The Daily Mail. The Daily mirror, Celeb News, Celebs Now and all sorts of other things. Lol. I’m still not over it yet! That was a fun night.)

Anyway a photographer was snapping pictures, drinks are being poured, the most glamorous Miss Swimsuit UK girls were walking around in..well..swimsuits and cameras were flashing, videos were being taken, I was Tweeting away and everything was circulating fast. It was all exciting and filled with winks and fun…

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Now, i’m flirty by nature and ‘one of the boys’ at the same time as being a girly girl. I know, makes no sense, but it’s so weirdly true. I love being a girl and i adore a bit of eye candy. Yet, I can kick it with the boys no problem and banter it out with the finest! I definitely felt like a Cougar though. Lol.

So, this is all before the event had officially begun, so we’re still behind the scenes and as ‘House of Solo’ and I are stood by the giant mirror Tweeting, in walks Ellis Lacy. Now, I already knew who was coming to this event etc…and I already knew everything about Ellis, as a few days before the event he had followed me on Twitter and I had followed him back. He casually walks in, all sexy, tall and warm…there was a ‘warmth’ about Ellis…his soul was good. I watched him on Xfactor and ofcourse I had watched his naughty Vlog. Lol. (I’m a Cougar in training, it’s what we do.)

Anyway first thing he does, he looks to his right, sees me and immediately says ‘Hi.’ And i like that, as more often than not, unless i’m at a place to meet a being specifically, they tend not to dare speak to me during the moment? It’s odd, as by nature, i’m pretty friendly. Lol. I’m Northern, it’s in my blood. I’m a show girl. It’s in my manner. 😉 SPEAK TO ME. Lol.

Anyway, the boys were now arriving because they were doing a shoot to go out to the press the following day, with the Swimsuit Girls.

The ever so handsome and muscle bound ‘Love Island’ hero, that we know as Tom Powell arrived. Freshly single, fun, huge, so well mannered. He looks like a, ‘get the job’ done kinda guy. He listens. He works hard.

Then the ‘cheeky ‘Ex on the beach’ star Chet Johnson follows in, again lots of fun, lots of confidence, not afraid to banter and give it some welly. He’s had a good year. He’s also a good sport. Those boys have some Bromance going on, as they’ve been hanging out lots with each other and smashing the party scene.

Honestly, they’re all not just great guys, who are obviously doing well, as they begin their careers with a bang, yet they’re all so individually attractive that when you’re surrounded by a Lacy, Powell, Johnson wall of huddle, you would really not know which one to fancy?? Glamour Puss Problems! 😉 I got to chat to them all and have a giggle, so it completely made my loins..I mean my night worth it. 🙂

Anyway, ‘House of Solo’ and I are now downing Gin and Tonics, as we’re working, I’m doing press shots and watching the guys an girls all get their own ‘shoot’ on.

House of Solo; ‘ Yo, I’ve shot this video of you.’

Me: ‘Aww, thanks. It’s actually awesome.’

House of Solo; ‘ That’ll be a tenner.’

Me: ‘Fuck off. 🙂  Good video though.’

Everyone gets changed. The boys head off back to their hotel to get changed for a night of party. I check in with Vereena, who’s now sort of nervous because she wants the evening to be a success. To me…it hadn’t even BEGUN and it was already a success. Plus, i know that some believe, that you need that moment of worry, in order to fully feel a sense of achievement when you WIN! I get that. Yet I’m so schooled at surprises in life now, that something can mean a great deal to me, however I have this tremendous ability to never be SO emotionally attached to it that it makes my focus ‘fuzzy.’ I’m terribly ambitious. Terribly playful. Yet the most emotionally ‘together’ person you will ever meet. There’s not *wishy washy* about me. I’m ready regardless. I’m ready if it goes well and i’m ready if it goes badly.

But the event was about to start and I ventured outside after looking down at my phone and seeing a DM from the BEST Pap photographer in all of the land, Stephen Farrell. He’s literally shot everyone throughout every stage of their career. His work gets into the papers constantly, always, as every moment of every day passes. He’s pictured ‘The Greats’ of all genres and what I love about Stephen is that he’s so down to earth and easy to get on with. i can chat to him all night about anything..and I pretty much did. He’s so dedicated and will stand out in the FREEZING COLD, all night to get that ONE SHOT that he needs. He knows who everyone is and what they do and the great thing about him is that he never judges anyone, as to where they are on the level of the ‘fame game.’ You never know who is about to ‘blow up’ next. Right now, it literally could be anyone.

Anyway, I was chatting to Stephen, as he was the pap that had shot Lisa and I on my birthday night out in Manchester. He himself was just so much fun. So it’s good for him to know everyone he can. It’s good for me to see everything from every person’s angle of the ‘circus.’ (I mean, I was there with the Celebs, I was there with Vereena the event runner, I was there with Swimsuit girls who want to make a name for themselves, I was there with the pap outside, I was there with ‘House of Solo’ whilst he was finding content for his fashion magazine and I was there as ME. I like to see things from everyone’s perspective.

I took ‘Steve the Pap’ a Red Bull. I smuggled it outside in my purse. Lol. Poor thing. It was freezing and it must’ve been knackering for him. He had just travelled up from shooting James Arthur in Manchester.

Slowly everyone began to arrive and upstairs Oracle had already started filling up with sexy party goers. Honestly, the sexiest party goers in all the land. It was filled with ‘Handsomes,’ Swimwear models, Bunny girls, Stylish men, Booby chicks , sparkler lit champagne bottles and the BEST HIP HOP JAMS EVER!!! (I had a bit of a dance and a wiggle with ‘House of Solo’ before I tottered out to see Steve. We like a ‘jam.’)

So, now the celebs are arriving. Love Island Winner Jessica strolls up with Sam Reece. I don’t know if they’re dating right now? But they could be? They might just be hanging out. They had a friend ‘Ben’ with them, who stopped me immediately for hugs and air kisses and he later snapchatted me to Cassidy for kicks, whilst being African for ‘House of Solo.’ Lol. Jess worked the pap camera, with hot, selective ‘moody’ faces…and she got into the press the next morning, just like that. Sam, was as quiet as can be and almost avoided the camera. He walked around it and eventually stopped for one pic with Pete by the entrance.

‘Ex on the beach’ Jem Lucy arrived. Porn star Sophie Dalzell arrived. *PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

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Then ‘The Boys’ arrived, back from the hotel, ready to party and it was ace, because as I was doing my own Pap shots, they had crept up behind me, so I got to *crash* boys nights too! HEAVEN! I couldn’t have found a better *squad.*

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After banter with Steve and talks about Chloe Khan, I ventured back upstairs to the party to get on it with ‘House of Solo.’ Work was now done and we went with ‘Fuck it, let’s party.’ I had got the picture. If ITV2 and MTV had a baby…it would’ve produced this party. Lol. We drank, we danced, we lived! It was a glittery swirl of fun and laughter, littered with faces from your favourite reality shows. It almost makes it surreal.

Verena had OBVIOUSLY done an amazing job, as I stopped and selfied with her a few times, as she *beamed.* I mean, the event was SO BUSY and popular that she couldn’t have thrown a better gig. It as certainly a ‘tick box’ on her list of achievements.

I got home at around 2.30am (not so bad) and must have just passed out in bed, naked, after i kicked off my Hilton heels, slipped out of the sequinned dress and gracefully laid my way into Dream land. It was my last glittery event finish to a really great year. Like i said, i’ve worked really hard and been through so many changes this year! I have a GREAT 2017 lined up…and I believe we have a Wunna Comeback in store! 😉

I enjoyed Christmas.