Babies, Soul Mates & Welcomes into Wunna Land

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Lots has been going on! I’ve kinda plummeted into a super busy time and Wunna Land has now picked up speed. I’m sorry there hasn’t been a blog daily, yet hopefully you’re all following my ‘socials,’ which kinda takes the pressure off a little. Lol.

I’m almost back on your telly. I’ve started all my PR shenanigans. I’m influencing like the crackers (which I’m actually really grateful for.) I’m currently filming ‘Welcome To Wunna Land’ which is my new IG series, my new IG show and I’m actually really looking forward to having you truly peek into my world.

IT’S INSANE.

But yes, It’s not as easy as everyone thinks. It’s actually quite a bonanza, as I juggle my career, my business, life as a single mum, film new shows, shoot in bikinis, audition with everything crossed, try to handle a social life, maybe handle a love life and let previously filmed shows air…

ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

The babies, Ruby & Junior, are now (after being offered bits of opportunity) are now ALSO filming through Summer and also at the very beginning of their ‘influencey’ careers. (I’m really proud of them,) so in TRUE Wunna Land style, PLEASE DO, take a moment to show them some love and FOLLOW their instagram page..

@RubyandJunior

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@RubyandJunior

I’m feeling a new chapter. I can feel it in my bones. Luckily, i’m great at new chapters, so I’m filled with utter excitement.

I will say that I’m getting hit on left, right, centre and inbetween…and from every angle, that an boy may come from. I’m flattered. Yet, not that easy a pull. Plus, I think everyone ‘chats me up’ in the wrong manner. You have to know me really well, to know what will make my loins tingle, or my heart strings tuggalug. Lol.

It’s kinda been same lines, different faces…

I’m kinda pretty schooled, when it comes to the dealing with the advances of gentlemen. So it internally makes me giggle, as I watch them struggle their way through the process. 😉 I’ll always be lovely. I’m that way inclined. Yet, I have heard every single line, and witnessed every single approach ever. You’ll know if I fancy you, because I WILL just flipping tell you. Lol.

It’s as simple as that.

The best way to approach me, is by being forward…If you ‘dance’ around me i’ll just get bored or merrily zone out.

Plus, I look for a man who isn’t afraid to move forward, because it shows emotional security and confidence and fucking hell, he’s gonna need it.

Let’s just say there’s been a lot of ‘dancers’ (and i’m not used to that, as growing up in LA, the boys just went for what they wanted) and when you ‘dance,’ it makes me think you’re a wee bit afraid (which is fine, I get scared too and it’s shit.) But worst of all, it may make me think you’ve already judged me. (Oooh!)

ME NO LIKEY. I don’t like that at all.

The GREAT thing is that i’ve managed to hang out with my bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ That girl is my soul mate. I nearly died and cried, when I saw her, because she just means so much to me. She is the ONLY PERSON that I tell EVERYTHING TOO…without censor. (And there’s always the truth and then there’s the REAL truth, isn’t there. lol)  No bullshit, no drama, just truths and so much love. We will never ever judge each other, along any part of the way…and when living in my current world, she is exactly what I need.

I love you.

(So, if you are wanting to grill me, and i’m fine with that, most of the time….JUST kidnap her instead, as she probably knows more about me, than I even know myself. Lol) 

She’s going to be my Giuseppe…one day.

(You don’t get that. But we do, so it’s dandy. 😉 )

I literally got THE BEST snapchat messages from Firmonnell, Hustle Barbie, Double B and Jonesez last night….and it made me die with glee.

I think Hustle sat in a bin and Jonsez got his nipple out? Double B looked hoochie by a BBQ.

MY FAVES

I LOVE YOU.

A great deal of drinks have been consumed. (I’m a good time girl and I enjoy spending my free time with friends…over drinks.) Yet, when i’m on my influencing and filming travels, it’s great because I am handed a nutritionist, a therapist (incase I go mental) and a dude who shoves people out the way, if need be. Lol. I always wanted a Sumo Wrestler security…Yet, no such luck. One day when I’m riding a better list…I’ll have one.

I fucking will!

There’s been lost of noise, lots of secrets, lots of laughter and an evening in a graffiti park at 3 o clock in the morning.

I’ve kinda felt alive and that’s all life is about.

I don’t stress the small shit. I ignore them and conquer the big shit with grace, privately.

Today, I feel like i have the best life on the planet. I feel like i’m living and feeling… I feel like I’ve met some really great people over the Summer, and those people I hope to treasure over the years.

I guess everyone crosses paths with someone for a reason…

When you find that reason…You actually BLOOM. It’s about figuring it out…

Anyway, i’ve godda dash. But I love you all madly. Thank you so much for following my life. It genuinely means so much to me.

Everyone’s asking me about my love life….I receive messages about it daily, almost every single minute of every day.  Lol. I will tell you that I’m a happy singleton, looking for love. The real kind. The truest kind. A proper little Hero.

TBONE: ‘She’s the kinda girl, you meet and you never ever forget. You really do try to at times. Yet, you kinda find yourself right back there, without realizing..and I guess it’s that impact, that makes her so magical. It’s an impact that she doesn’t even know she has.’ 

Pretty nice thing to say about me right?

Love you all lots.

Chrissie x

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Boobie Pops, Adventures & Moderately Cunning Plans

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Life is to be LIVED, because you’re a LONG TIME dead and you hear people frisbee out the term ‘YOLO’ like Tequila in a Mexican brothel. Yet, after everything i’ve learnt, in my time so far, armed with my little bit of diary… I know that it is never ever the result that gives you complete happiness and that the journey and the memories you make, are the things that will actually make you BEAM….when you’re 82.

(The ‘Bush Story,‘ when I’m 82, will always be funny. It’ll always be hot, because it’ll always be alive. The ‘Cum Stain’ story in LA, which no one EVER let’s me forget..Haha…..at 82, will STILL be as tragic, yet even more hilarious.)

Don’t be afraid of adventure. Don’t be afraid to have a story. Don’t be afraid of anything.

It’s important that you embrace your story. Stop being dull. Go for the ‘adventures’ that life hands you over. The fun bits that just fill you with excitement and make your eyes smile. You may not be that lucky again and I’ll always say, that even though my life has been oddly ‘colourful.’ It took me away from Yorkshire and glittered me, all over the world.

I mean, SO MUCH has happened to me, that I only WISH you could peek into my head, or be a fly on the wall, during some of the most sketchiest moments EVER.

I’m not sure how I survived them. But  came out unscathed because I chose to be happy.

Yeah I’ve had my heart broken in numerous countries. Yet at the same time, I’ve fallen in love and laughed out loud, MORE TIMES, than any glamour puss, could ever wish for.

I’ve been really lucky, because I feel like i’ve done a lot and my soul is alive.

Be alive.

I managed to be exactly where I wanted to be, through hard work, charm, determination and my fingers crossed.

YOU ARE exactly where you’re meant to be, in life right now!

So if you’re happy? If you’re sad? If you’re tall… broken….successful…or stuck in a rut?  You’re MEANT to be there, right now. It’s for some random reason and you’ll definitely learnt why shortly. I’ve done it all before. Once all the elements of your life have been put into place….Just around the corner, I promise you, is ‘magic.’

I cannot even tell you how true that is!

I literally once had my giant leopard print luggage and an engagement ring THROWN out of a car, with me a following and a ‘Don’t come back sign‘ firmly in place…(lol) I was in my 20’s. I walked around the corner…with my luggage on wheels in tow..and a car pulled up to the curb.

I DID KNOW this person really well. He wasn’t a stranger. We were in LA. All he said was,

‘Jump in Lil’ Bit.’

It was like he knew where I was going to be, or what was going to happen? And when I did jump in…my life changed for the ABSOLUTE BETTER and FAST!! In fact was almost unbelievable.

So please do LIVE.

(Wait. My phones fucking pinging. One sec…)

Ugh. How annoying. It’s a guy I used to date DECADES ago, when I was 18, and he’s trying to tell me off for referring to him as ‘random.’ (Lol.)  Well, this is what he’s saying, because he’s now trying to re date me, which isn’t going to happen.

(It’s funny how when you’ve maybe done alright for yourself and you’ve grown up and got yourself a bit more pocket money, a little dab of tiny fame, a career that seems quite dazzling and you still look somewhat attractive…It’s funny how the exes that didn’t want to be with you, come running back as fast as they can. Yet, I guess, that’s what I like about me. The more powerful I feel, the better! Mwahahah!) 

Anyway, he’s saying this…

Guy: ‘Random! Who the fuck is RANDOM. We were together for FIVE years!’

It was ages ago. I don’t count that as a relationship because I was never in love at that point. I thought I was. I was a kid. I didn’t know what love was…I was sort of just going through the motions. Until I met the next guy, who was Mike, the actor…WHO I MARRIED. Fair enough, we’re divorced now. But, he was my first love and obviously… even now…there are times where I think about him because it was SUCH a chapter of my life. It’s when everything changed and success came. He was a guy who showed me how women should be treated….

But it was JUST a chapter…and like all good tales, the beat just goes on…

If that Chapter didn’t end….this whole ‘Chrissie Wunna’ thing would never EVER have happened. I would’ve been stuck doing the same old shit, with the same old people, with the same old life, for the same old years….

So I get it…

But a few years with the first boy and six years with Mike….(only 2 of those years were public and we WERE dating other people at the time, so we sort of kept something going, behind almost everyone’s back. Which I guess was bad. But ‘Yolo’ we couldn’t help it. So, if I added those two relationships up, it’d come to around 9 years…To me that doesn’t seem THAT LONG, when I hopefully have decades of life left to live.

So, I don’t know why the guy I dated when I was 18, in Yorkshire, is coming forward?

So much more has happened to me since then….

I was never scared to do anything, and I may have hurt people along the way or been hurt. But I’m still never afraid to enjoy anything, should I say. I have stories that will last a lifetime.

You’ve got one good shot at having the most fun, you could ever have and I hope to GOD, that you embrace that.

Right now, I’m having a REALLY different Summer, to any Summer I’ve ever had. I’ve felt really normal. I’m not sure how much I like that? Haha. But I’m having so much fun and hope the rest of 2018 delivers appropriately.

Last night was filled with laughter. It was a really great night and became with chills with Ian and Claire, by a dog named Frank.

Music came on…and it all turned wild.

I can’t even really tell you what happened, because not much did other than lots of ‘high fiving’ and good times? Why were we ‘high fiving’ so much? I hate ‘High fiving.’ Lol.

Dancing occurred. Singing at the top of voices echoed through. Drunk hugs and secret conversations littered the table.

Golfer Jonny taught me how to ‘Boobie Pop.’

WHO KNEW i COULD DO THAT!!!! I’M SO TALENTED! 🙂

Everyone stopped me to make sure I was okay? Lol. (I also appreciate all the messages I received. I cry once, blog about it and hundreds of people shimmie into my inbox with love. 🙂 Thank you, for that. You’re all kind. Much love in return.)

Then as always a PLAN was hatched.

My arm got pulled to one side for whispers.

KatyP: ‘Right…we’re going to try and make ************** happen.’

Me: ‘Really?’

KatyP: ‘Golfer Jonny is in charge of buying the next drink. You’re in charge of distracting Antony.’

(Antony’s foot, was the foot that was in my face when I woke up on Tuesday morning, after being the ‘little spoon’ to a piece of  lost gingerbread.)

Me: ‘I’m in charge of distracting you.’

Ant: ‘Well that’s not so bad for me, is it? Free drinks and you hanging out with me all night. Haha.’

He’s easily distracted and I enjoy those that just go with a plan. Things that are to hard to accomplish bore me.

Long story short, everyone (as always) got roped into the plan. Yet it all worked swimmingly, as I watched someone be lovingly *walked* out a pub, by the wrist…

‘I’m a little nervous..’

With a..

‘What? Everyone knows anyway!’

And that was the end of the night.

It was hot. I loved it. It was Girl Power at it’s finest. It was LIVING. It WAS life and more importantly didn’t involve ME, which meant it was ALL utter bliss.

I managed to STAY OUT OF TROUBLE…all the way home!! 

(Eww! But I saw Awful Ben at the pub last night, who I used to date years ago. I just hate him and we were stood at the bar at the same time, so I just did that really grown up thing that I do and IGNORED HIM. Lol)

All my chick friends: ‘I don’t know what you were thinking when you dated him!’

I guess, it’s part of the story. What a douche!

Anyway…

All i’m gonna say is that, whenever you wake up to a Whatsapp Group message that reads…

‘Team check. You all alive and okay?’

(The Group is labelled ‘Team Beer.’)

You know a ‘good time‘ has been had!

‘Pray for ****’

Right! I’m done now. It’s officially Sunday Funday!

I have two shoots, babies and influency things all week, so i’m excited!

I’m back on your telly shortly…and that’s my 2018 ‘Out of Summer’ plot twist.

Hope you have yours…

Chrissie,

Thank you for following my life. Thank you for tinkering through my ‘socials.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When We Tried to Ruin Dates by Bearded Dragons

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Afternoon! I’m currently shattered, so bare with me. I’m in my specs, because my eyes sting that badly, lol….i’m starving and I’m rocking weird thigh tan lines, because I sunbathed in my shorts yesterday. It’s almost like wearing ‘forever’ stockings….that are made from skin?

However, anyway..life is wonderful and right now, this second, i’m blogging from ‘Ego’ in Ackworth.

So yesterday, I started work early, around 4.30am, to influence for a specific country, in an different time zone. I finished up at around 1pm, shot straight to The Rustic Arms, simply because I adore open spaces, peaceful surroundings and wasn’t in the mood to be bothered. Haha. I got in a quick drink, waited for my friend Katy P & Hairdresser Claire to arrive as I sunbathed and *SCREECHED* every 14 minutes, because chickens kept popping out of nowhere and pecking my feet. (The pub has chickens running loose around the gardens, in case you were unaware. I didn’t just imagine them. It’s actually kinda ace...IF YOU DON’T HAVE A DISTINCT, IDIOTIC FEAR OF THEM. 

JUST SAYIN’

If you know me personally, you will absolutely KNOW that I have an intensely tragic FEAR of any kind of FARM YARD animal…Even booze doesn’t calm me down.

Long story short, the girls show up, Claire had been doing Katy P’s hair for a hot date, that was gonna go down later that evening. Now Katy P’s not one to really openly *gush* about guys…She is known to be a bit of a Tom Boy. Yet, she can’t fool me. Girls are girls. I saw it in her eyes…She was anxious, giddy and excited….and it was actually SO lovely to see her that way. It made me BEAM.

I LOVE A BIT OF EXCITEMENT.

So, obviously, being the GREAT friends that Claire & I are, we had to MOCK HER, just to build up the anxiety. 😉 She was really worried because it was her first ‘He’s coming over and I’m COOKING TEA FOR HIM‘ date, (sorry i’m already pissing myself,) and she obviously wanted to make a good impression, as her date, had once stayed over, stated that she ‘lived like a student’ and found a fish finger, laying in her kitchen sink…

Her Date: ‘What the hell is this?’

KatyP: ‘Just a fish finger. Why don’t you bring it back to life, put it in a bowl and see if it’ll swim?’

Anyway, so she was planning to ‘spiralize’ veg, until it was six feet long and put some chicken with it…Then make like she was some domestic goddess. (I would’ve just done pizza and sex. Hahaha.)  

The whole time we were chatting life, love, guys, all sorts…I could tell her mind was thinking about the date….She was all excited. HE was all excited…then Claire invited us back to hers for the famous ‘one more,’ before the BIG EVENT.

Now, Claire and I get on really well. We’ve known of each other for years, but over the last few months, we kinda found out that we’re both ace and have the same rubbish sense of humour. Plus, she does hair and I like that. And we’re both easy going. We love a good time. However, when you add her partner Matt to the equation (who’s fyi…a fitty)….it seems we all love a good time TOO much and turn evil.

ALL THREE OF US ARE SAGITTARIANS, meaning that Matt, Claire and I are filled with love, life and charisma….However, we’re also dickheads just for a bit of banter and laughter…

DRINKS WERE POURED. EXCITEMENT WAS SWIRLING. MATT was dancing and singing. Claire was beaming with laughter.

It was a really good time, because it was a great combination of people, in the most magical place ever.

Honestly, it’s like I walked through their doorway, (which houses Claire’s Hair Salon, @clairedurowhairdressing) found myself upstairs on a magicalroof top terrace,’ with the sun beaming down, which boasted comfy sofas, fairy lit globes, drapes, music and a log burner. It was almost like an exotic kingdom of unconventional glamour, fun and life. It had it’s own world and I was living it.

I was drinking around two actual bearded dragons, which were placed on my boobs, before they chilled on a coffee table, two ‘ ‘skin looking’ cats (as I call them,) the ones that have no fur on them. One was black and called ‘Salem’ and she was the SEXIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. I sipped drinks and two tiny dogs appeared for cuddles…followed by a Staffy  named ‘Tilly’ and two tiny mice..that Claire casually  had in her hand.

IT WAS AMAZING…and the table was candle lit…and it was the MOST creatively magical space, I’d ever been it. It was also filled with love.

Matt (who I only met yesterday) and Claire are this amazing couple. They have a joy, a chemistry and a playful friendship that you would just DIE TO HAVE, with your partner. They’re do open about their love, that it’s refreshing.

Matt: ‘When I saw, I just KNEW she had to be mine…So i chased her.’

Claire: ‘As soon as he held my hand for the first time, I felt an indescribable chemistry…a chemistry that I had never felt before, I met him.’

Claire: ‘Matt what d’ya think about Chrissie?’

Matt: ‘She’s actually prettier than I thought she would be and yeah...*he then did a heart shape with his hands*’

..and then he told me that part of Louis Tomlinson’s family had actually match made his parents, who then went on to create HIM. Crazy! Innit.

Anyway, we’d only been their an hour and Kate was all nervous, but playing calm for her date. I was excited, because I just love, love. She had to rock off. We all hugged her, wished her luck, kissed her ‘good bye,’ because she was so filled with nerves and who doesn’t need support during those times…

She rushed under the white skull drape, we *waved* her off…as soon as she had left and we had sent her our blessings…Claire  says…(or was it Matt?)

Anyway…this happened…

‘WE ARE GONNA FUCK IT UP, AREN’T WE, JUST FOR A LAUGH, RIGHT!?!’

‘Obviously…’

It’s like we all thought the same thing at the same time….and this is why we shouldn’t drink, get excited and do it by bearded dragons….Lol.

We literally all *paused,* looked at each other and then pissed ourselves laughing, as we started to PLOT a story, so we could ruin her first date. Hahaha.

WHY ARE WE BASTARDS?

Here are some snippets…

‘Well should we say that I started hitting on Matt and it’s all got out of hand, and we’re now fighting?’

‘She doesn’t get jealous like that. She’s not gonna believe it.’

‘We need to say that there’s been an accident and she needs to take one of us to A&E, because we’re too drunk to drive.’

‘She’ll believe that I’ve fallen out with Matt.’

‘What about we say our daughters have had a fight, cos we never fight, she wouldn’t fall for it.’

‘He’s arriving in fifteen minutes..’

‘I’ve missed called her .’

‘Yeah, call her now, because she’ll be stressed, getting ready, spiralizing, and washing her privates.’

Anyway, Matt calls Kate, intentionally meaning to ‘miss call’ her…Kate picks up the fucking phone, so he panics and just says…

‘Who the fuck have you brought to MY house? It’s all going off.’

Then he hangs up, ABRUPTLY.

AND WE ARE PISSING OURSELVES!

We wait until her date gets to her house…and then Claire does the same thing…but the girl version of that sentence…

‘Call me, it’s all going a bit mental.’

There’s now all the wine being poured, bearded dragons and cats with no fur on, strutting around us and we are WEEING OURSELVES.

After 20 minutes…Kate sends a texting reading..

‘You’re dickheads…Hahahaha….’

Eww! So she didn’t even bite. So you’d reckon we’d give in at that point…

Me: ‘I’m not being defeated like that.’

Claire: Me Neither.’

Matt: ‘She won.’

He even texted  ‘I love you’ back.

Claire: ‘Eww! That’s lame.’

Me: ‘How annoying, Stop it.’

So we waited until their date had kicked in. They’re eating. They’re nervous. They’re getting to know one another…They’re flirting. It’s getting all cosy…It may even be leading up to a bit of ‘sexy sexy’… A bit of romance…

WE HAVE NOW DRANK SHIT LOADS…Claire had mice in her hands and Matt’s now dancing like he runs the world from his roof terrace and getting mad because we’re not listening to his song properly.

‘Don’t talk through it, just listen!

Then we just figured, no one could ruin it better than us. We needed ‘no story at all.’ We could just be US and ruin it…as that’s what friends are for.

So we call her…during her romantic date…

She actually  picks up…puts us on *Speaker*…and we attempt to RUIN LIVES in approximately 7 minutes?

I can’t even tell you what we said, because I can’t even remember…Lol…It was a rowdy blur of inappropriate, embarrassing banter. But I remember someone talking about the size of his genitalia? Can’t remember if he said he had a big one?

Kate’s now pissing herself because she’s a human, who’d find that as funny as we would. God knows, what her date thought? But he stayed over…so it couldn’t have been that bad.

Yet nothing was better than that moment. We were in hysterics. It felt so free and filled with love and all under the night stars. Sure, we were evil…But that’s what’s great friendship, is about. That’s what’s great about love. Magic. Freedom. Life.

The date went well. They got on merrily. Matt, Claire and I drank the night away and expressed our love for one another….like ya do. Lol.

Then I woke up this morning, to a text reading..

KatyP: ‘Does your head hurt? Lol’

Me: ‘Is he still there? Why are we dickheads? lol’

 

 

 

 

 

A Fabulous Glittery Madness

‘Right! You two are gonna have to be straight now and look after me. I’m taking NO responsibility for getting back to this train station by 10pm. You have to get me here, in one piece, if you want me to come play drinking with you!’

And my two delicious gays, Liam and Lee looked after me like Kings! They were GREAT! They cared for me. They molly coddled me. They made sure I was okay every little stiletto tapper of the way…..and we had a BLAST! I had been refusing to go out around Soho after dinner, in need to get home. Yet, with a ..

‘Chrissie, it’s only 7.13pm!!! You’ve got ages!’

I ended up going….But fuck it. Liam had a show to shoot in th emorning. I had just come out of a great business meeting. Lee, is on the Westend and has just finished being the main in the Lion King. We had had cocktails, posh scampi and naughty looking pork scratching. And you only live once..

PLUS….

Soho is my old haunt. When I lived in London, I was literally out on the Soho glitter cobbles EVERY NIGHT! I was just off the Paris Hilton Show and everyone adored me, but i had started dating this Boyband guy…If you go back into my archives (via the search bar) his named was ‘Boyband Jonny.’ Anyway, he always wanted to go out because he was young…and we’d do a lot of normal straight bars…but I did notice that he ALWAYS wanted to every gay bar in all the land.

Liam, Lee and I…after we tap danced the time step on the tube…(I can totally tap dance incase you didn’t know…and in heels) found ourselves tinkering to G.A.Y…which is where Boyband Jonny and I would always go…every night. Big Brother Mark Byron used to be the ‘handing out flyers guy’ outside. Even then and because I was so trusting…I didn’t even think that Boyband Jonny might actually be gay? Lol. I mean GOD!!! We were in G.A.Y every night for crying out loud!!

THE CLUE IS IN THE TITLE!!

But we’re great now and he’s all gay and lovely…and certainly states that I broke his heart. I didn’t. I just got bored of being treated badly. I love those moments when us girls suddenly get all clued up and we grow ten feet tall and march forward. Were invincible at the point and beam because we’ve managed to remember that we’re utterly of worth!

Anyway, the best night was had! Yes! I’m far too old to be staying out with the Gays and partying. I’m not used to it. But loved it. We shouted out on the busy streets of London. We danced on the cobbles, in the open airs, singing out Pop songs.

‘If i could sing. I’d be a star. I’d be Rihanna!’ Lol’

We ‘West Side Story’ leaped and finger snapped our way through traffic, whilst selfie taking with the crowds and laughing out loud at our snapchats. We danced in bars…drank…swirled with Drag Queens…and drank….we lived, we loved, we played ‘cheeky’ with security…and we drank, drank, drank,

This security guard kept telling me off and whenever he did i’d snapchat him. Lol. He wasn’t grumpy. Yet one minute he’d be telling me off and the next saying that I looked like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls and asking to take me home.

DUDE! Girls like me have TRAINS TO CATCH.

Liam, Lee and I swirled our magic, around a glitter mess of fabulosity.

‘I haven’t had this much fun in ages..’

And just as the boys promised….even when they were moderately pissed. They got me to the tube station…LORD KNOWS HOW! I was battered. Glamourously battered ofcourse. Definitely felt ill. But was still beaming.

Liam stayed out. HAHAHAHA! Happy 8am filming! And Lee had a singing show thing to get to by 11am. Where he was performing! Lol.

I got on that 10pm train. I might have been sick.I can’t remember. Liam might have also puked in his hotel room. Infact all my friend across the lands were doing sicks. Double B said she puked into a cup whilst driving around a roundabout. Her distant cousin Double D puked in someones bed? No…wait. He puked from drinking and woke up in someones bed…some girls bed…he was woke up by the sound of a baby! 🙂

The great thing is that I had lots of London fun. (Even though I have annoying London friends, who are moaning that I didn’t get time to see them. I was working..and well if you don’t ask to see me, then obviously you won’t. Lol. Why do people wait in the wings? It’s dull. So much happens in my life that you have to catch me when you’ve got my attention…or strike when the irons….gin. 🙂 )

However, yes, best time ever. Great catch up. Great business meeting…but knackered. It was fabulous because it made me remember how much I adore to chill!

So right! Everything in Wunna land is all about taking care of myself now. Don’t worry i’m not going to go nuts. I’m just gonna eat better, drink less…smile more…and all that good old jiggery. Get fitter. Chill! And not really stress.

I’m gonna love! I feel all inspired and fancy inspiring. Stay focused on what you want to do. Do it well…the people that adore you will always be around. They’ll stand by you and cheer you on!

And i have nothing to lose…:)

Enjoy this absolutely GORGEOUS WEATHER!

ps/ My love goes out to all of those involved in the Manchester explosions. That came as a shock! Hope everyone is safe!

 

 

 

IT’S FRIIIIIIDAY!!

So sorry, I didn’t blog last night. I had a busy Thursday. One of those rushed off your feet, trying to get your head around it ‘mountain of work’ Thursdays, where everyone has a rant, everyone has a hair toss, everyone lives off coffee and then as soon as they swing open that door, which is labelled ‘HOME, they *crack* open the Prosecco and guzzle it to ease girl stress. 🙂 I’m not saying that the day was stressy. I’m simply saying that it was so much that it was hilarious. I stood in a ‘cupboard’ hiding with Mel, as she looked like she was pulling faces, but like little girls we hit the *pause* button to life and started *GIGGLING.* Hot Sarah couldn’t wait to get her pretty hot self back home, her eyes lit up and her soul filtered with glee, as she uttered these magic words…

‘Chrissie! Look! I’ve even got excited goose bumps at the thought of Prosecco.’ (And she did. Her bright eyes were so wide with excitement, that she looked like the happiest doll in all the land…that was maybe about to explode into confetti.)

I did red wine, (I kept it swag)….But we all know I shouldn’t drink it. It berry sponges me in this *higgeldy piggedly* truth serum and well…to put it bluntly…it makes me talk some right fucking shit. 🙂 Swearing is Caring!

(YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL IF I HAD HAD RED WINE BEFORE I START WRITING A BLOG.)

But yes, Thursday is D’done and Friday is upon us! WE MADE IT! Hurrah! Weekends for everyone (unless you’re ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ 🙂 Weekends suck for them. But whocares! Yay! No one! Let’s have Daiquiris for breakfast 🙂  I had wine for breakfast last Saturday. Not because i’m a massive alcoholic, but because i’m a massive alcoholic in training….Do note, that I was just terrified, so needed to drink.)

Anyway, we’ve all worked hard enough this week, so today is ALL ABOUT FUN! When trouble looms over our glamourous and some one glitzy lives, we’re going scoop up the stress, well make ‘Webbo’ pick it up for us and gracefully CHUCK IT IN THE FUCK IT BUCKET. It’s Friday. Let’s have some fun now.

Lots of wonderful things are happening to me, you know that, because I tell you that all the time…I had one guy ask me why I was having ‘down’ time, just because I hadn’t posted  a’selfie in ages. Lol.

DOWN TIME! FFS! I’ve been so rushed off my feet that I could paddle with angry sausage dogs, trying to hump me and not even notice. The ‘down’ time is my hardest time because that’s when i’ve got my head down and i’m busy ‘knuckling.’ The ‘show’ part of it all is easy, as I just wear amazing things, get papped, smile, selfie it, cocktail everything and wink whilst talking rubbish to people who adore me. 🙂

I talked to a psychic last night, but just in general and she randomly told me about three guys…and it was crazy, as I knew two of them…..and what she said was accurate. However, I’ve always got to be careful when I meet a ‘chick who  randomly tells me my future’ as i’m sure a Wunna ‘Google Search’ will pretty much lead you to this site, which HEY, tells you my life story. Lol. And she started her conversation with…‘It’s Chrissie, right?’

I’m going to post a blog later on this afternoon, telling you all about the fact that I’m in the Spring Edition of House of Solo Magazine and it’s out now My was at home waiting for me…AND I ADORE IT, as it feels like a treasure and goes on about how ace I am, Social Media ‘IT’ Girls are…and all sorts. (I’ll tell you about that in the next blog.)

I saw those little grubby boys in the alley way again last night, whilst walking by. They think they’re my mates now. Lol. They’re scruffs and I’m a glamour puss and i’m the only one they allow to pass their little boy alleyway, without abuse now.

I watched the littlest one of the pack, who looked about 11 write in black sharpie (so gangsta) on the wall of the alleyway…

He wrote…

‘Girls fancey a fuck…’

So, like the Glamour Puss that I am, I passed him, he looked up at me and I simply *paused* studied his work 🙂 and said,

‘You’ve spelt fancy wrong…’ before walking off.. (I’m gonna teach him something new every day, until he’s not a scruff anymore. 🙂 Have I spelt ‘spelt’ wrong, it looks wrong?)

Then when I got to the petrol station, this busy guy dashed passed me and I stopped him quickly, just to say,

‘Ooh, you smell nice…’

He actually *paused* for a second, smiled and like his rush at calmed thanked me…I totally made him smell the roses for a moment.

There you have it. I’m ace.

More on House of Solo later..

‘Liam Ross’ is trying to Skype me? He once tried to hit on me, by pretending to be two different guys at once. Lol.

HAVE A FABULOUS FRIDAY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Real Picture, Love & 100 Years

I’m meant to be a Baby Shower right now, but i’ve only just got home and even though Baby Junior has trotted off with Grandma, after Keiran got busy, I have a Baby Ruby almost en route home…so now…there’s no chance of me making it. (But I did get my nails done inbetween, whilst waiting. 🙂 What? I needed a treat! Hard working women and mums must always take time to spoil themselves. Lol. It’s vital. It’s sexy It’s what being a girl is all about.)

I’ve gotten all these Snapchats from ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ moaning at me with moan selfies with tag lines that read ‘Worst friend ever’ and ‘middle fingers.’ Hahahah! But sometimes a chick’s just got to waist train and have a wine, after a stressy day. (Dear, ‘The Mighty’ please blame Keiran. 🙂 )

Lots happened from my trip from destination A, which was Doncaster to my journey to the ‘didn’t get there’ Baby Shower. I got heavily distracted. Firstly, a stranger stopped me (I get stopped a lot) and told me that her husband had left her and she was now a single mum of two and had no one because she had moved over from Vietnam and life was a struggle. I was getting my nails done and I just looked up at her and promised her that it was going to be okay…

‘But I don’t have anyone???’ (This has all JUST happened to her.)

Again, I just looked up at her, knowing that I had been in her exact same heels, with a new born and a 2 year old at the time….and promised her, that as long as she didn’t panic and she held her head up high, saw what was ahead and got on with it, she would be more than fine.

‘The three years on.. version of you, is really different to the right now version of you, I promise & I know that isn’t helpful at all because it seems so long away and i know that you’re going through a lot of pain, but I promise you, the worst thing you could do right now, is let yourself down.’ 

Then she walked away to deal with her own life path, as I had my nails dried off and I sauntered up, after payment and tottered quickly to get to the Baby Shower.

Distraction occurred.

‘Chrissie, I love your blog, I’m reading it every day. Please pop in here with me and let me buy you a drink..’

I had a Desperado. Oops! But it’s just so hard when someone stops you to tell you how inspired they are by you, to just say ‘Hi’ and leave and when they THEN offer you booze. Lol. What! I had to go chatter to her for a little bit. 🙂

The funny thing about the moment was that, as we sat down…some old guy started shouting over…

Bloke: ‘Ere, you. What would you do if I told ya, I fancy you right now?’

Me: ‘I’d say, you have a wedding band on…’ (First thing a girl looks at boys..and secondly, do not beckon a girl with the words ‘Ere you.’ Haha.)

Bloke: ‘It’s just a ring though, just a ring. I’m single all day long.’

I mean, why bother being so stupid? It was like some bravado show of numptiness.

Yes. It is just a ring, but it’s a ring that symbolizes the love that you have, for the girl that you’ve chosen to build your life with. If it’s just a ring, then don’t do the whole ‘vowy thing.’  You should NEVER be turning around in a bar telling some glammy chick from the Orient, that you’re ‘single all day long,’ with a wedding band on.

It doesn’t make me scorn you, or brand you a cheater, like i’m a teen or a young twenty something. It simply makes me think that you’re lost…and when I’m looking for my Mr.Right, he’s NOT LOST. He has the map, printed directons AND his emotional Sat Nav turned on. He sees me across a crowded room, he’s done his research, he makes a bee line for me and then he makes me HIS, with a click of the old charm and  just like that, I’m swept off my feet.

NOT…

He’s really pissed in a bar, probably just has a fight with his wife and then hits on the nearest girl because he feels it will make him mighty again…yet as he still has his wedding band on. Lol

I left then…and said ‘thank you’ to the blog reader.

But then as I looked down, on my totter, I saw that one of my best LA life friends had posted on Twitter. Brandon and I go back decades and I love him dearly. We’ve done so much together and we’ve been lost and found in Hollywood all at the same time whilst growing up. I adore Brandon. But boy has he been going through some shit.

Brandon Perkins was travelling to JFK Airport, New York from Aeroporti di Roma – Roma Fiumicino.

3 hrs · Fiumicino, Italy ·

‘My life story, especially in the last year, would be a dream for Hollywood writers. Watching italy disappear below the clouds, my life chapter in italy slams closed… and I have no idea what is next, but I KNOW it will be better…’

He had sent me a Facebook message to come see him in Italy, but I just didn’t have time and then he sent me another message which delivered the stress and pain he had been going through…I replied to that….

Today he made a decision….and with ALL OF MY KITTEN SOUL, I back you ALL THE WAY ON IT. I want you to get back to LA and as soon as i’m free, i’ll come see you. I promise. (Like when we were kids and I climbed ontop of that roof with you, just to make you smile on Halloween, as we sat and drank Mango Margaritas on your apartment roof, under the moon. Hahaha! I like that I was dressed as a Slutty cave girl and I liked that we *kissed* to decide if you were absolutely gay or straight! Lol.)

That kinda  made my mind take a detour from the Baby Shower. I got to a point where my totter just stopped and I just paused…Kinda like when Forrest decides to just randomly stop running….

You know, there is SO much going on in this world and this is YOUR LIFE. Your tiny dot on this planet matters…and you really can do whatever you want with your life without fear, as it’s all you actually have, without it everything stops. Be who you want, say what you want, work hard, but love harder. Be true to you, be a success, yet manage to smell the roses. I say that all the time and because I need to remind myself.

FALL IN LOVE. It’s so important. But with the right human who enchances your soul. Build a world. An empire. A family. But enjoy every second of it. The moment you don’t enjoy something, change it.

I always say to people, even Ruby my own little girl, that we are given 100 years (if we’re lucky) to live the best and most happiest version of life, that we decided for ourselves.

Don’t sweat the little things that don’t matter and make sure the big things make you smile.

There are gzillions of us on this massive Earth Ball trying to do life….

Image result for pictures of lit up earth

…and we life all different versions of it.

No matter what version you choose to live, make sure that version of life makes YOUR SOUL feel at peace and fills your world with happiness.

Lots of love,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inflatable Willies, Twittiness & Gift Buying

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I don’t even know what’s happening to me but i’m evolving into the most awesome human ever, that I don’t think I can even handle it. *Waaahoo!* Haha!  I feel like ‘Captain Jack Sparrow.’ I came to this executive decision this after i dedicated part of my life to picking out potential ‘Secret Santa’ gifts! Now, I don’t even know if i’m having  ‘Secret Santa’ at work, which quite possibly means that i’m a lunatic. Yet, i’m going to go with ‘just giving.’

Anyway, Holy Shit! I’m amazing. I’ve picked out the best potential ‘Secret Santa’ gifts ever and i know i’ve done well because I feel extremely SORRY for anyone who has the unfortunate unlucky streak of having me pull their name out of a tub. I’ve gone with…

  

…and because i love how LONELY the man in the penis suit looks, like he has no friends and life is always awkward and well…the emoji ‘middle finger’ cushion…is just a luxury that every respectable human on the planet needs to have. I’d love to spoon it on lonely Wednesdays.

Now, away from the comedy gifts. I’m a generous chick. I love to buy gifts for others and always do. It makes me smile and if i actually know you well, i’m usually an alright gift giver.  If i don’t, i’ll still get you something ‘general/glammy/or thoughtful’..If i date you, it will usually be something that you’ve yearned for or something super expensive…You’ll only know that if your life path has smashed, danced, lived or casually winked into mine. But yeah, someone’s definitely going to get the ‘lonely’ penis suit. I love it.

Everyone seems to have gone shopping today. I’ve heard of ‘blazers’ being bought, ‘New Canada Goose Jackets’ being purchased and i received my THIGH HIGH ‘off orange’ rust boots from Just Fab today after i ate eggs. I love a it of ‘buying for Winter’ so i’m so impressed with peoples fashion choices.

I need to get myself to the new Victoria Leeds, and to the Bubble Tea store for ‘checking it outs.’ I’ve actually got a bunch of outings that i need to accomplish, a whole lot of events and along with normal favourite stuff like all the Christmas markets and ice skating in city centres under the night stars with friends.

Everything’s all exciting. I’m watching the Xfactor, whilst being sat next to a pumpkin, with a fire engine being run up and down my back. I don’t know why everyone didn’t like ‘Five After Midnight.’ I thought the were all upbeat, fun and ace. Lol. I like the light hearted entertainmenty stuff. The ballards are all very well sung, but they aren’t half dull. I zone out and mainly because i’m not a singer. I can appreciate a decent ‘vocalist.’ But i’m Jesus…I’m Jesus? I mean JESUS! I love stuff that’s upbeat, sassy or alive. Something that’s fun or so hilarious that I die.

That’s just made me remember that when picking a life partner, I need to make sure that they are funny, or have the same sense of fun (I hate dull boys,) or humour as I…otherwise they’ll just think i’m a twit. (And i’m gonna try and get away with disguising my tittiness…tittiness? HAHAHA. I meant ‘TWITTINESS,’ and i guess now…with TITS. Lol.

Have a great night!

Folkiness, Fires & Should’ve gone homes

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GOD!

So, it was Ben’s ‘cheat day’ yesterday. The babies had ventured off to their Fathers and we had decided to go to The Carleton for a steak and a salad. (We’re pretty much creatures of habit and the type of people that will order the exact same thing EVERY time, depending on where we’ve chosen to lunch, brunch, cocktail or dine. So, we’ll have our favourite meal or drink at each different place.)

Okay, The Carleton. Quiet. Calm. Easy. We did lunch. Had a couple light drinks and chilled. The world was at peace and all things around us were normal and tranquil.

Then ‘Dodge’ joins us! HAHA.

Now, I adore ‘Dodge’ as he always has some kind of ‘previous evening’ to tell us about, as he takes time off his party schedule to indulge in a calm, quiet, tranquil drink with Ben and I. Lol. He waltzes in, with a scowl, that only a diva (like moi) could be proud of, he’s in his comfy shoes, a trendy white t shirt that boasted some band’s song lyrics in multi colours (I think it was ‘The Smiths,’ but to be honest i’d have no clue, because it wasn’t as if it was Britney Spears?’) Then with a smile and a homemade Bloody Mary (which I warned him wouldn’t be the best) he stated that he was rough, had the best night cocktailing in Leeds, the evening before and that he had definitely got ‘deep’ with a Drag Queen on a bench. 🙂 Love that! It’s very Wunna 2008 and by this point he had already scored major points with me.

Now, I was happy at The Carleton, on my little chill mode, dilly dallying around, especially when i’m on ‘save up’ mode and indulging in a life of virtually no partying. (I’ll only ever go out now if it’s a special occasion…like Danielle’s leaving do, a works do or a birthday.)

So, ofcourse Ben comes up with this random idea of how he wants to move on and go into town to The Tap & Barrel…UGH…and from that point it all went down hill. (This is the part when I shouldn’t have joined in and just gone home…where my evening would’ve have been so much more peaceful…and my funds wouldn’t have been damaged.)

UUUuugggghhhhhhhh!

Got to the Tap & Barrel, with Ben and ‘Dodge’ in tow. It seems packed from the outside and there’s daffodils in pots, at every window possible. Odd? We ventured into a complete and other, SURREAL world of folklore! It was awkward, it was strange, the place was filled with candles, fairylights, musty tea cloths and a corner folk band, playing, folk songs on records, hand organs and all sorts of Tom Foolery.

My face was a picture, as my just gazed in astonishment at where life has brought me.The bar swirled with the smell of incense…(which I hate,) and sour notes were being played left right and centre, with neck scarves and folky people, who had all chosen the Tap and Barrel for their day out. Now, I don’t have anything against folk music, i just don’t do it. I’m a glamour puss. I have no interest in it, whatsoever. I love new things, new adventures and will happily try anything with a wink, but Dodge was rough and the sour notes were spinning him out, I was just shocked because it was like we had walked into some alternate Universe, as i’m apparently ‘all fur ocat and no knickers’ and BEN..well Ben secretly enjoyed it, but pretended  that he didn’t. Lol. He just enjoys music in general. All music. But he’s been to a Folk music festival before and honestly, I don’t care what situation you’re in….who goes to a folk music festival, if they don’t enjoy folk music. Big giveaway. he secretly loved it. HAHAH.)

Recorders were screeching, plant pots and tea cloths were everywhere, the pub was dark and candle lit, people where dressed folk, singing, and making polite folky conversation, then Ben spots someone ‘off the telly.’ I looked back…it wasn’t a Kardashian. Dodge looked forward…it wasn’t Morrisey. Ben Googled him, or sent his Dad a text…as it was a guy from Calendar, who does music events or something? I don’t know. But i was over the place by then.

We try and sneak about to get drinks and venture outside, yet it felt really awkward whilst people where performing folk tracks, as it kinda feels rude, especially because this little girl on her tiny folky guitar thing was really sweet. (Dodge wanted to steal the tiny, folky guitar thing and start performing Little Mix. ‘And it’s called Black Maaaagic……and it’s called Black Maaaaaaaaagic.’)

Long story short…get to the bar, chatting, talking shit….the boys are rambling on about how they want to buy the Ponefract Courthouse simply to hang out the windows shouting ‘Butler…..’ I’m stood with my gin and tonic in hand, having a brief conversation with them about Lord knows what…and little did i know that I had lent up into a CANDLE that was on the bar…and had SET MYSELF ON FIRE. 🙂 Hahaha. That’s my pink faux fur hood singed. 🙂

There i was, with my gin…ON FIRE at the bar and the funny thing is, that I missed the entire thing. Dodge is still talking to me, not noticing and chatting away like nothing bizarre was happening. Lol. Then Ben…dear Ben, becomes the hero of the hour, by looking at me, stating that I was ‘shit…on fire…’ and puts the little fire out with his bare Diet Journey hands. Awwwwwwwwww…bless him. That’s why it’s always good to have a ‘Ben’ around. He’ll always do the right thing and save a life, if he can. He burnt his fricking fingers. Dodge laughed soooooooo hard, that he nearly CRIED!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Anyway, i’m not going to bore you with much more. I’d had enough by them so we moved on to The Broken Bridge. Andy joined us…we did mini drinks and Dodge drank a pitcher…from the jug. I received a text from Jenna…who was in a taxi into town. We go meet up with her, (Plus, Adam and Demi etc…) and the evening ended on chitter chatter, watching boys bums lean over pool tables and life.

Boom. Done! (All I keep doing is thinking about the money that I wasted on last night. Lol.)

I’m off to get ready to film a Vlog.