Time, Family & A bit of Shania in Weaves

Yesterday ‘jazzed’ up a bit. I mean fair enough it wasn’t the height of utter excitement. (I’m beginning to think, you have to create your own. Lol) However, it was mildy more ‘buzz’ like.

There was definitely a moment where in which ‘Double B’ and I glamourised an outside corner by some church steps. Is it a church or a castle? Who knows? Nice steps though. Far too nice to do your prayers on. Anyway, she’s sat there with her bootilicious derriere, newly plumped lips, big eyelashes and fresh blond extensions and I’m stood by her, (i like to stand, it makes me feel dominant…lol) with my boobies, dark black weave, cougar lips and exotic tan. How we didn’t burst into flames, I don’t even know? 😉

Anyway, most people on steps by churches, would probably ponder life in a normal, more educated fashion…we decided to get ourselves confused over a girls ‘This is how I woke up top,’

Double B: ‘I thought the whole point to wearing that top was the fact that you’re meant to look glam in it, not like a scruff. Not like you really have actually JUST WOKEN UP’ like that.

Then we chatted more shit, ridiculed our good friends and sang Shania Twain tracks that we forgot even existed. We went with ‘That don’t impress me much! 

Double B: ‘What are you even singing? WHAT A BANGER THAT SONG WAS.’

Me: I’ve kinda jumbled all her songs into one and they’re all coming out my mouth at the same time???

Then with a hair toss, a pout, an adjustment of the old bra….we strutted away and back to business.

Not much else happened, apart from making fun of my friend David, who needs to man up and learn the art of ‘the chase.’ He’s about to go on a date with a girl we both know, who’s a great sassy fit for him…and he’s heel clicking to love songs and everything ALREADY. Lol. The sweet thing about it, is that he’s happy. I love happy people. The other sweet thing about it all is that it’s lovely to see a GUY so excited about a girl.

David: ‘I just haven’t been this excited about a date in a long time. ‘

I think it’s lovely, but even ‘Fairytale Blond’ had to tell him to calm down a bit.

Hustle Barbie: ‘David! You need to keep her on her toes. Girls don’t like that full on stuff….’

I’m ALL for a bit of full on. Lol. So i’m with him on that mark. I think he should move with his romantic foot forward! It shows BALLS.

But then talking about balls, we all got distracted, as Ms.White tinkers up to us all mid banter, whops out her phone and shows us a video o a naked dancing man, with a semi on, dancing….

Me: ‘WHo’s that!?!’

Ms.White: ‘My boyfriend, I took it of him last night. Not really…HAHAHAHAHA. IT’S ACE.’

Ms.White’s actually quite funny because she got so burnt sunbathing on holiday, but only ON ONE side, so she kinda looked like an Drumstick lollipop. She said, she had to run away from people all holiday because they kept trying to ‘lick her.’ Hahaha.

A fun day. Good times. I’m mentally chilling before I set off for exciting stuffs, that I can’t tell you about.

I’ve actually been having a few Mummy problems with Ruby and Junior, as they’ve been fighting a lot of recent and when you’re a single mummying it…things aren’t easy, because there’s just you. I have to work hard. I have to make a living. I have to balance it all with love and time. Two nights ago they FOUGHT like they hated each other. That’s never happened before. I never let that happen.

Last night, they couldn’t sleep and I could sense a fight coming. Even Ruby sat crying to me saying, ‘I don’t want anyone to love me ever, but you. Why are you even not married! Why don’t we have a normal life.’

So when all was heated and they were both in their own beds, glaring at ceilings and filled with frustration…ready to take it out on each other….I simply, got changed, put my coat on, walked into each of their rooms and said,

‘Put your coats and shoes on…’

‘What?’

‘Get up! Get coats and shoes on…we’re off out. We’re night owls. Let’s go have some fun, as a family, just us…together…right now.’

And you should have seen their faces. They beamed and dashed and scurried for shoes and giggled with madness.

Last night, when it felt (to them) like all the world was asleep, we enjoyed a late night park session. No one but us…love..and memories being made.

Last night, I had the HAPPIEST CHILDREN IN AL THE LAND. It meant so much to them. They felt loved. They felt excited. They showed loved. They showed excitement.

Under the night stars, as we slid down slides and raced around on merry go rounds….we felt free….

 

 

 

Love, Gin & Learning Things The Hard Way

I had gin last night, after watching the back of a bald man’s head for a while, during the afternoon, during a moment of ‘by myself’ chill. (I love a ‘by myself’ chill.) Not sure why I was so mesmerized by the back of his really bald head? I just like the way it folded and wiggled whenever I looked up, from Googling myself. 😉 Went well with a rhubarb gin and tonic…It sort of added humour and stability to a moderately emotional time. 🙂

Yesterday was both busy and chilled. I had an amazing time with Ruby & Junior, we played, we lunched, we loved. I knew that Junior had a great day, simply because whenever he does and I lay him to sleep at night, he always wraps himself around me, cuddles me in bed and whispers…

‘I love you mum. I love you so much.’

(I’ve trained him well. 😉  Hair toss, wink.)

Love matters to me. Love matters to me massively. It does to everyone, even when they don’t believe it does. It’s weird because i’m always confident when it comes to love and i’m really comfortable in my own glitzy skin….Yet, I crave love, but only the true kind, so when it comes along, I always want to treasure it and save it forever.

Some people see that as lame.  I see it as beautiful.

Gin was great last night. I managed to have chitters with my old school friend Kate who switched us to wine. Yet, the reason why it was all so great was because after such a great day, I really really thought about everything. I’m a passionate girl, but an expressive one and sometimes I don’t express as well I should. I get scared to, And no one should feel scared to express. It’s our life, we have one shot…and we’ve got to do it boldy.

So, I expressed yesterday evening, after a really great day, after a couple of good gin and tonics and really chilled times and the thing about my expression was that it was true, it was honest, it was loving, but most of all, it was Me. When it comes to ‘things’ or situations…and when something matters to you deeply, i always think that it’s really important that you’re able to just say how you feel and when you do, whether it’s been listened to or not (and usually if you’re honest, people DO listen) you feel liberated. I felt liberated and today as I woke up and look down at my phone everything felt like bliss. I felt like I had a best friend, who just gets it.

It made me really productive actually. I’m powered my humour, good times and true love. That’s where i get my energy from..and tequila. (Loved the West Hollywood Tequila dance that I used to do probably about 10 years ago now. Hate that I cried afterward because this dude named Ryan didn’t care about me. But loved that drag queen carried me home, like i was a Queen. Lol)

But yes, i’ve got a lot of things going on in work and it’s making me pretend that the little niggly things don’t matter. I don’t like the little niggly things. I leave them and they accumulate and then they terrify me because i’ve left myself a mountain to sort through. Like voicemails. I HATE going through my voicemails, unless they’re all ‘good news’ calls. My emails…this morning I had 79,329 to go through, that I had let accumulate. By noon, I had gone through them all…and now my inbox is chilling at 0. YEAH BABY! (This is why I’ve always said that I need to marry a really organised male, one that’s good at the niggly things. The things that demand organisation. Lol. The big things i can conquer with panache and glamourousity. I’m ace at the big things. I’ve been married three time and people always always message me asking me about my love life. The most common question from women, that I receive weekly is one that asks me if i would ever marry again. And GOD, ABSOLUTELY. But only if the guy was RIGHT! I’m not just gonna high kick gleefully down the isle to anyone. Lol. (I’ve done that before. 😉 )

I believe in love (i’m a sucker for it) and yeah, I’ve shared some interesting chapters, that didn’t quite fit. Yet it doesn’t EVER make me feel as though I couldn’t do it again. The great thing is, this time, i’ll get it right. I’m not someone who doesn’t KNOW what I want or what i’m looking or. That’s sexy in itself. I tend to learn the hard way, which to me, is always the BEST way. Nothing like a bit of good old raw experience. Beats the ‘Once Upon Time’ books.

(My good friend Inadequate Chris is just messaging. Remember weeks ago, before I did Ginos, i wrote a blog about his love life…well I was right. He has just waved ‘good bye’ to a 9 year relationship, that maybe wasn’t right anymore for both parties and well, it’s been tough, but he is happily moving forward. Y’see, to me, that 9 years was simply a young chapter and it’s what you do when you’re a grown up that makes impact, because as grown ups, we think wisely and know how to love properly. There’s a stability to us oldies. It great. It’s sexy. Nine years isn’t that long when you have a hopeful 100 years to do love in. Yes, we all hope to get it right the first time, but if you haven’t and in the past I haven’t….obviously….I’ve been hilarious and half of you have followed it through the decades. Do know that it’s right around the corner and that guy or that girl who makes you feel utterly COMPLETE…will find you and adore you…forever. )

But away from my preachy keeness, WUNNA LAND is WONDERFUL right now. I’m working hard, i’m making things happen, i’m feeling really lucky and really positive. All areas are fantastic. I even have to pinch myself to believe it’s true. It’s almost like a dysfunctional Cinderella Story. There’s a lot going on and yes, as always with work, i’m unable to wink it out there, until it’s time. However, it kinda feels like i’m BACK. (Well en route anyway, my Uber must have been delayed. 🙂 )

In sat in the Mallard in Doncaster blogging this…and two lesbians are talking about dildos infront of their children. Lol. I’m also looking at a picture of Jeremy Clarkson, because they have framed photos of people who grew up in Doncaster, who became stars…On and cycling is on the telly.

I’m off now to do a prosecco and buy hair.

FILL UP ON GOOD TIMES….

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Good News Phone Call

I got a ‘GOOD NEWS’ phone call today. I looked down at my phone twice as it simply rang ‘Unknown’ ( I never answer an *unknown* call as the last time I did was weirdo who wanted  to tell me about his penis demanded my attention) and then like a *whoosh* and a *wonder,* I checked my email, as my voicemail currently doesn’t seem to be working and with an *OH* they quickly gave me a call back.

Just like that, as I stood quietly in an office, after looking left at Firmonnell and saying ‘I really need to take this…’ in a yellow turtle neck jumper, as I rushed up a flight of stairs, I JUMPED UP AND DOWN with excitement. I love excitement and I love it when dreams magically tinker into reality.

‘Chrissie, I have good news…’

Life became bubbled over with a glistening ‘joie de vivre’ and from that point on….and probably because my life energy was bursting at the seams….GREAT THINGS began to consecutively happen to me…almost like some glitzy domino effect. I don’t even get it? But I’m so happy! Everything’s changing and I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I’m an excitable girl. I love good news and good times that peak a shimmie and infact it’s a great way to get me to listen or pull me, if you fancy a try! Lol. I love adventure and my good news call offered me that. From that point on Wunna land was tinseled up with VA VOOM.

(I mean even at the start of the day before the phone call, I won a decent Malbec and a certificate for being ACE, all before 9am…so life wasn’t so bad. But yesterday….on the whole was a great day!)

The evening ended delightfully as I messaged someone via the fine art of picture taking 🙂 who I can’t help but adore, (what a great human) and whilst sipping the wine that I won…out of the bottle in a fuchsia bra, because I couldn’t be bothered to get a glass. Hahaha!

Everything just worked out merrily yesterday and it made my little Oriental heart beam. This is a really good time for me. I swear it’s because I have a decent tan, yet my Mother assures me it’s because yesterday, as I tangoed through my work day she Feng Shui’s my entire home, so bring me luck. Maybe it did work? I’m quite spiritual by nature…so I delight in the idea of a bit of Feng Shui.

What i’m going to go with is the simple old ‘I worked really hard, went for it and seized all opportunities’ excuse….Seems to work for me.

Other than that, Firmonnell is now being glam even with a ‘dragon rash.’ Mel is off to Disney Land Paris and adoring every inch of being a Mother to kittens. Fairytale seems chilled, like her life is plodding along exactly how her text book read wants it too and Hustle Barbie is demanding that we pay her attention and adore her Baby pictures. (Her day ended with a stranger buying her a really expensive bottle of gin and a gorgeous bouquet of lillies. I love it when gents are just lovely for no reason other than being a ‘darling.’ The funny thing is…before she went she was sure he was a ‘stalker.’ But hey, you can be stalkery and whop out the flowers and we’ll all love you anyway for being so cute.)

Anyway. i have to set off for my work day now. I’ve double booked my tomorrow, so I’m gonna have to work all that out….

Things are just wonderful and even though i’m only on what feels like the first step to many, I’ve come a long way…and more importantly…i’m done it all by myself. 🙂

Remember that dreams come true…but only when you have a good tan. 😉

 

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

Image may contain: one or more people

It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.

 

 

Everything Chills & More Awards

Right now, in June 2017, i’m all about ‘chills.’ I’ve had a dramatic and simply fun life. It’s been complicated at times, it’s been great, it’s been hard, but  i’ve loved it. The stories I could tell you who shock the frillies off you. I’ve felt every emotion under the sun that one little girl from the orient could go through. But i’ve achieved so much that I could pour a bubbly prosecco and *cheers* to life with a ‘thank you,’

Hasn’t June zoomed by? Infact, we’re jiggling in that time of the year, where from this point onward everything *swooshes* by at the speed of light and before you know it, we’re sat with the people we love by log fires, letting Christmas, Baileys and festive spirit, magic it’s way around us. (I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a Christmas Birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I could take or leave Summer.I adore the warmth of it. Yet, there’s just not the same kind of magic to the season.)

My chick friends and I have been shit at dieting. I say shit. But to be fair, we have been salad eating. Yet every single time the weekend comes, we guzzle pizza and scoff cocktails 😉 like ‘plus size’ is life. Lol. If i’m being honest. I’m quite happy right now and the twenty six year old ‘Hollywood’ version of ‘model’ me would’ve died before she touched a carbohydrate. She would’ve weeped for ‘donkies’ over a pretty boy that didn’t love her.

The thirty six year old version of me is COOL. I am the most comfortable I have ever been and the most emotionally stable kitten that you could ever cross paths with. I couldn’t be more glamorously comfy with who I am and what i stand for. And that took a long time. Haha! I’ve mellowed out. I’m chilled. Don’t get me wrong, I’m passionate. I’m spicy. You don’t mess with me or anyone I care about. Yet, at a time where everything couldn’t be going better for me in life…A time where you’d think that i’d totally lose the plot….I haven’t. I’m not. I’m delighting in peace, laughter and eradicating anything or anyone stressful from tinkering around me.

It’s bliss.

‘She’s literally the most Down to Earth girl you’ll ever meet, cleverly disguised as a DIVA.’

As I said before, I have busy times ahead and i’m really excited and lucky for having them. Yet i’m aced it now, when it comes to balance. Nothing seems to stress me out any more. I have it down. I focus on the things that matter to me. I express how I feel and I live. You should too! Make your choices and then what will be will be. That’s life.

I mean I just had a convo with this amazing guy about life and how we should always blame it. Lol. (This is after he found ‘first date’ hamsters on Facebook)

‘You only live once. I could die tomorrow happy, or you could be stuck with me until I’m 80 and that’s life’s fault.’

I guess, I’m just saying go with it and enjoy it.  Leave stress to the foolish.

But anyway away from that ‘Fairytale Blond’ wants a Cockapoo. (She’s going to have to do a lot of ‘COCKapooing’ to get what she wants.)  ‘Hustle Barbie’ has an Invisalign brace. (I want one to. I hate my wonky bottom tooth.) Double B is getting ready to Baywatch swimsuit it in Greece. (Jealous.) Firmonnell had a new face today. (She smashed work today.) Lady Shizzle opted for ‘wine is the answer’ and Mel has kittens!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(In a shed.)

‘The pregnant cat adopted me and has now had kittens in my shed!!’

I’ve got a sore throat…and no I don’t need ‘Penis..cillin’ for it. If I could do anything right now, I would be setting off to the luxury log cabin in the forest. I love it there. It’s my happy place.

Although i’m all about ‘chills’ i’m looking for excitement. I enjoy bursts of *surprise,* yet I am very rarely shocked by anything. It would be nice to be shocked by something. It would be nice to feel a *burst* of excitement.

I will say that, I’m super honoured to have been nominated and then shortlisted for the Diversity in Media awards….I know! For ..

‘BLOGGER OF THE YEAR.’

Crazy! I’ve gone form ‘Content of the Year’ to ‘Blogger of the Year’ in a wink. And i’m not one to focus on awards, as win or lose my blog is about my journey through life….It goes on….

Yet unlike the other awards…I want to win this one. Diversity in Media means a lot to me. I adore what it represents.

The Awards are in September…And you can vote for your favoruites NOW.

Here’s the link to VOTE for me DIRECTLY.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DIMA2017 

But if you want to see all those shortlisted you may. But still VOTE FOR ME. 😉

Scroll down to BLOGGER OF THE YEAR and click VOTE NOW, UNDER MY FACE  Simples. LOL.

http://www.diversityinmediaawards.com/shortlisted-individuals.html 

Hope you have a wonderful evening.

I love you,

Chrissie

 

 

Just because i’m chilling…..

This weekend is utter BLISS! I am on ‘CHILLS! And after what has felt like such a busy time…nothing has felt more DIVINE that this entire weekend of just doing NOTHING AT ALL.

BLISS!

I shocked myself up at six o clock on Friday morning. Literally jumped upright, with my kitty sheets wrapped around me because for some reason I thought I was late for work! That moment when I suddenly realised that I had nothing on, nothing scheduled, no work, no train to catch, no meeting to get to, no quick change and drive off, no city to romance, no worries, no stress….It was the most liberating feeling I had ever had!

I felt FREEEEEEEEE! An entire uplifting whoosh of glee glistened from the tip of my usually stilettoed toes…all the way up through my system and just beamed out of me like magic.

It’s THAT feeling that we all try to capture in life. It’ll spring up upon us, in glorious little ‘flitters‘ and those little ‘flitters’ be it in work OR love, we treasure so preciously, as they don’t jiggle are way as often as we’d like. But do know that these ‘flitters’ are special (I know they are) because no matter how busy, stressed, or how much of a bad time you’ve think you’ve had…hours, days, weeks, months of it….It only takes one tiny moment of a ‘flitter’ (you’ve snagged your dream job, you’re getting the rest that you needed, you got that ‘good news’ phone call, the girl or guy that you love, has told you that they love you back) to make you utterly BEAM and it’s when we BEAM when we are at our most POWERFUL. And that is the moment when we can conquer the entire world.

I’ve chilled. I’m still chilling. I’ve done schools runs. I’ve enjoyed quiet prosecco pours.I’ve had time with the babies..Junior did his first school ‘Taster Day’…Ruby and I have laid together in fields and talked life..

‘But what do I do when i’m older mum..like for a job?’

‘You do what you love…I’ve worked really hard and i’m working really hard, so you can actually do what you LOVE.’

‘Be a sexy lady like you?’

‘No.’

‘I’ll just sell ice creams then.’

‘Okay, good call.’

Then we just carried on doing life, as we laid back on the grassy field, in the middle of nowhere, one light evening and watched the clouds morph into… well she kept saying ‘witch’ but it definitely looked like a penis.

Yesterday evening, I messaged ‘Firmonnell.’ I always message ‘Firmonnel.’ She one of my closest chick besties and we can’t stop being absolute wankers to each other, because we find our banter far too funny. I keep signing her up to Wunna Land future jobs, because she’s just too good at listening to me spew out glittery all sorts and then organizing it all. I’m good at organizing OTHER PEOPLE. But i’m shit at organizing myself. I hate the ‘little bits.’ I just like it done for me. Lol. I tell ‘Firmonnell’ all my secrets and then help her out by not coming to her rescue and telling her that ‘I’d rather die or stroke dogs for 94 hours’ than ACTUALLY help her. 🙂  (I’m not good around dogs. I don’t dislike them. I just….dislike them lol…They seem so needy and I always have to pretend I really like them when they’re near me. Lol. I’m a kitten kinda girl. So yeah, dogs and farmyard animals…are not my favourite. I like humans.)

Anyway, i’m pampering, I’ve tanned, i’ve booked a massage, I’m being mum, I’ve sent great messages, to a great guy 🙂 …..It’s weird how a great guy can just pop up out of nowhere and without you even knowing *BOOM* you’re hooked…Other than that, i’m honestly really just chilling.

I have a really exciting JULY. I’m working with some great brands, doing some wonderful things. I’ll be travelling a lot and enjoying many a cocktail with you. The blog will become alive in July… that is why this chill weekend is so important.

Some of the stuff I have coming up…I’ll be at the British Style Collective. I have a press pass to the event and I’ll be situated at the Lambrini Bubbles bar having visits from famous faces, normal happy faces, all faces…and YOU! I have access all areas and whoever I meet will end up on this blog! So come have a ‘Brini’ with me.  I’ll be telling to the shows gossip via all my social platforms.

I’m filming….I Have a really great shoot. I meet Jack Parsons again on the 4th. I am booked out on the 2nd for a Podcast interview for a show in Chicago. There is a swirl of amazing new cocktail bars, that I have been booked out to visit. I’ll be headed to every GINO’s VIP launch night, as he opens each of his own restaurants. I’m also writing a book. Well putting one together, as it’s already written.

In August I’ll be flying away for a few days. And I will also be visiting some of your favourite football clubs and meeting a few of your favoruite footy stars…where they will be forced into playing a cheeky ‘Wunna Land’ game for all of you to view online. 🙂 Do know that the games are called ‘Cougar Rollie Pollies/ Spit or Swallow & The Referee’s a Wanker.’ I’m sure they’re very excited. NOT! Lol

The diet’s going averagely well. I started out great and well now i just keep eating all sorts. Lol. Same with the rest of the girls. They ALL snapchatted me the pizza that they were having for tea. Curves are in! Fuck it. We’re hot. We’re not slaves to a diet regime. (Code for ‘We’re weak.’) But whatever, I look alright for a thirty six year old, mum of two. I’m like an ageing Pussycat Doll. What could be better than that! I should get trophies are not being an alcoholic. Wait? I’m deciding if I am one or not? (I’ve decided ‘no’ because it’s not my fault if part of my blogging JOB is to have fun at cocktail bars. It’s work. 🙂 It’s hard work. 🙂 )

I’m odd to enjoy the sunshine!

Kisses,

Chrissie xx

(Photo by Chris Stevenson)

 

 

 

 

Here Kitty Kitty & Cocktails

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I’m here you delicious treaty treats! So sorry! I’m back! It’s been busy times. Things are AMAZING, almost ‘Dream Come True’ amazing, to the point where I’m having to piss myself (with laughter, not urine…cos who does that on Thursdays) simply because everything is as turned so ‘fast lane.’ I have shoots, and brand deals and shows and all sorts happening. I can’t even believe it. And my love life isn’t even shit! I KNOW!!! When it rains, it pours and i’m certainly not complaining because even though time is taken, hours seem to flitter and i’m rushing around like a sexy headless chicken…it’s all i’ve ever dreamt of…I’m working really hard, I can’t even tell you how lucky I feel (and that is in ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE) and yeah…for the first time in EVER, I feel confident to actually openly say (and i’m a worrier by nature, it’s hidden well by Estee Lauder..)

‘This is my year…’

(There…I said…it felt good!)

Right, I’m gonna skim all that has happened as I couldn’t at all possibly manage to tell you it all in one blog and due to time that’s all I can pull out of my glitter booty right now.

I chilled all Bank Holiday. Enjoyed family time. Thrived off being ‘Mummy’ and added in a cocktail here and there. I hate it when people become Mums and then decide that all of a sudden the have to wear no makeup, buy a rain mac and shuffle around like lost souls. YOU DON’T. The best part of being Mum, is managing to squeeze out babies, or should I say produce delicious humans and after all that ‘hoo haa,’ manage to pull yourself together and find your femininity again, IT’S SEXY! Throw that fucking rain mac out.

Samantha is enjoying her new swirl. It’s certainly been a work out 😉 . But the thing I adore about her is that she’s dipped in absolute ‘ooh laa’ that is dashed around with warmth. She comes across as sassy, but at 40 something…and i’m nearly fucking there…I want to be able to enjoy ‘my swirl’ with a hair toss and wink. LOL. She’s ‘no nonsense,’ she’s loving, she’s ballsy and doesn’t like watered down cocktails. I’m really glad we’ve become so close, as I really can’t imagine not having her in my world.

Double B: ‘She’ll end up in the  Sex ER.’

Double B is still gyming it. That doesn’t seem too weird. But Double B wouldn’t do such a thing. She craves Turkey Dinosaurs and doesn’t look at a salad twice without having a panic attack. (Wait! I’m making her sound fat! She’s not! She’s 21, blond and extension glamourous with a Kardashian booty.) She’s giving me booty envy. Mine just looks like it got tired and fell down my back.

BUT WHATEVER ‘MY FRONT’ IS GOOD! HAHAHA!

We’re all on diets…and it’s going well but feels like SHIT!

In the space of a few days, ‘Double B’ has managed to decalre that she rather..

‘Suck balls all day than deal with her…’

and that someone dear to our hearts…

‘Looks like speckled meat…’

and that, is she was a…

‘..Prostitute, she’s be a speedy one..like a taxi meter…the quicker they go, the less it’s gonna cost them..’

Firmonnell is all skinny and sassy now. We all couldn’t put our finger on what had changed since her Tenerife return…but i’ve decided and  after a public vote that she’s skinny and sassy now.

Away from all that (i’m running out of time) a really old pervy man came up to me and gave me porn books to read. It’s going to be unfortunate if he ever does find out that I blog and reads this, as I’ve just called him pervy and nearly called him fat. But hey hoe! I read extracts out to the girls, against their wills…On the positive…as least the guy’s expressive and I only had to say the words …

‘Pussy’

and

‘Juices combining’

a couple of times. (Dirty bastard. Lol.) It’s not even the fact that it’s dirty. I love sex and expression. I’ll steal a few of the lines to text over to the swirl on Friday night. Lol. It’s just the fact that he’s tried to be ‘dirty’ and write a ‘dirty book’ to capitalize on the novel raunch that ‘Fifty Shades’ let out into the sassy world. SHE’S ALREADY DONE IT. Write about sex because you love sex. He doesn’t know…as I am sure he doesn’t get it. Lol. (I’m fucked…not literally…if he reads this… ever.)

Anyway, I’ll cut the crap. I’m late for everything now and  still sat in my bra, on the bed trying to type… I NEED A MORNING GIN!

Sometimes in life you just godda kick it and have some fun…so all my friends and I ‘clocked off,’ flung on our jackets…slam shut ‘the work door’ behind us and tottered across town for dinner and cocktails at Ego, In Ackworth,

Eleven of us went and it was delightful. Just a swirl of friendship, wine glasses and laughter. We snapchatted our own versions of the night, so if you missed all that, should should be following. (Chrissiewunna1)

There was a moment where I looked all the way down a long table, filled with the people that I send most of my time with…and for a whole 10 entire minutes every single face was BEAMING. Banter was being made, glasses where being lifted, jokes, life, private whitters and laughter was dancing up and down the table with joy. I watched it because it made me realize how lucky we are to actually aciddentally be so close.

A really great night. at 10pm tood outside Ego waving as ‘Fairytale’ zoomed off with ‘the boys’ in the back of her new mini, whilst shouting..

‘FAIRYTALE BLOND!’

My guy friends then decided to try and make us go out to Biggies lol. I didn’t…But instead of just being normal humans…they (Webbo, Dipper and Double D) made the executive decision to send us all nudes. …yes…of themselves, with the odd picture of chess? Lol. Bare bums everywhere. Hahaha.

I have so much on, but everything is great! I’ve been nominated for the Diversity In Media, ‘Blogger of the Year’ awards…and

‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY’

Starts TOMORROW…FRIDAY!

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I’m gonna tell you more about it in the next blog this afternoon…I’m gonna try and write it whilst working…

But what I NEED YOU TO DO is

DOWNLOAD THIS APP..But TODAY…like now!

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‘ONLOOKR’

onlookr.co.uk

It takes two seconds…So do it!

You’ll know what i’m talking about if you follow me on any of my social media channels..It’s all over Twitter, you’re all sharing it and thousands of you are ‘liking’ it.

BUT TO BE PART OF THE ACTION…

YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE ABOVE APP!

My best friends and I are going to be giving you ACTUAL REAL LIFE INSIGHT INTO WUNNA LAND, AS WE TAKE ON THE CITY…

We’ve been given our own reality drama show for you to watch…but in  WAY THAT YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

For the first time ever…,my friends and I (and you will know them from this blog) are going to open up our private and personal messages, our entire Onlookr inboxes…24/7 in real time, as we go along….and for everyone in the world to read!! And when we text….WE FUCKING TEXT! LOL.

All in the next blog…Download the Onlookr APP to be part of it.

 

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Ps/ Photo by the beautiful Clare Pritchard www.clarepritchardphotgraphy.com