Is it really that hard to find love?

Word up! My Pretties. How are you all? I’m kinda feeling over the moon today, because i’m trying to appreciate all that have, right now, rather than crave all the stuff that I don’t. I’m in the mood for a bit of Feng Shui, a wine and yesterday I made ‘love heart shaped’ toast….THAT BROKE IN HALF.

Even heart shaped toast, can’t stay fixed for me…

F*** I need wine.

It all sounds very Disney, I know. But don’t  be fooled. I swore like a gangsta all the way through the toasting…If you mixed Cruella De Ville, Jackie Chan, Mary Poppins, an angry gangsta and Paris Hilton into a pot…You would’ve got ME…making heart shaped toast.

For a Princess, I’m kinda ‘swag.’ I’m not prinny…I’m glammy…It’s a whole different ting, boo.

‘The Swirl’ once *paused* whilst he stood behind his kitchen counter, dishing out Nandos and said…

‘You’ve got a bit of swag to you, don’t ya…’

I don’t know why I felt the need to tell you that, but it’s my diary and my patch of cyberland, so I can if i want.

Why do I keep replaying it??

I even read a Vogue article about Victoria and David Beckham, this morning, in my pants, wrapped in flamingo sheets….Victoria gushed about how much  love they have for each other and how they couldn’t have achieved all they did without one another.

It was lovely. It made me beam.

I want that! I really want that…

What am I doing wrong? Surely I’m not that bad a pull!?! I’m such a happy singleton…Yet, i’m also great when coupled up? It’s like I only want to be with someone who I KNOW is my total soul mate…Someone who will really take care of me and guide his future family kindly and happily…Other wise I find it all a waste of my time?

So well done to The Beckhams and The Smiths, for doing love so so well, under much harder circumstances than most….

I love, their love…I love that kind of love…

I  almost nearly had that kinda love…a couple times…Yet, ALMOST HAVING SOMETHING…doesn’t count, does it? If you ‘almost‘ had something, you really never had it all..

Hit play.. (One of my favourite songs…)

Don’t get me wrong….I’m feeling pretty positive and fearless, right now….I watched Will Smith in this really great video on FEAR last night and it inspired me to be mighty.

I’m already mighty, so it properly turned me ‘COWBOY.’

Work wise…My moments gonna come. I can feel it in my water. This comeback & blog attention thing is hard…YET, i’ve been ‘slow and steady wins the race’ about it all. Once the ball starts a rolling, life will pick up speed.

Like I posted yesterday..

‘Chances are, your best kiss, your hardest laugh, your greatest day  are still to come…Don’t give up..’

..and it’s true.

People often give up, when the going gets tough, but it’s your struggles and failure that make you the person you are! More people need to find the swift ability to pick themselves up, every time they fail.. More people should embrace the things that feel right for them, disregard the things that feel wrong.. THEN find the courage to ALWAYS have faith in life and themselves….

It can be scary….

But never give up on the things that you are absolutely passionate about….Notice the things that makes you happy. Pay attention to them…

Recently, I’ve been spending all my time with those who truly love me, (Family & Babies) and simply because i’m wanting to break bad habits. Bad habits tend to get the better of me.

It’s only been a few days and I already feel more delish..

Plus, Ruby & Junior head back to school tomorrow, which frees up my time massively, for work. HOWEVER, GOSH, i’m gonna miss them being around me, all day. I know that sounds odd…because at the start of the holiday they drove me MENTAL. Now…it’s a really different story. Time just flew.

I’m half happy & sad…

They’re my little worlds and I’m grateful that I have two little ones who still LOVE hanging out with me constantly. Without each other, we’re nothing.

I’m like their favourite human, which always makes me feel ten feet tall.

Q & A wise…

I’ve been answering all your questions on my Insta story all day, but I got bored, because there were no juicy ones. They’re either normal, about marriage, or smutty. Nothing for me to get my kitty teeth into. So I chucked it in the ‘fuck it bucket‘ and laid it to rest…whilst my phone charges. 😉

Date wise…

I’m excited to meet the ‘gentleman’ guy on the 18th. I like how he moved his way forward. I’ve never met him and I haven’t spoken to him since the weekend, but it feels like an adventure.  I’m still fun and I’m still saucy ;).  I think I appreciate the fact that he didn’t just see me as ‘naughty,’ or ‘saucy.’ He saw a lot more to me than that.

I’m a lot of things…A lot more things that people think! So I hate it when people skip the good bits, like….‘best friend, loving wife, wonderful mother, happy soul, decent human…’ and just go with a judgement of ‘probably good in bed….maybe high maintenance and a bit stuck up..’

I’m not that at all..

Well, I am good in bed. 😉

YIpppeeeeeeeeEEeeeeeeeeeee!!

I’m staying out of trouble…but need to go because Mama needs a vino.

Thank you for everything…

Head to my Insta Story @chrissiewunna and ask me Question…(A juicy one though.) Tomorrow, i’m answering your questions on my blog…

Sassy, Bank Holiday Sexiness…

I’M HAPPY!

I’m sprinkled in a confetti fun, dazzled with a giddy charm. I’m feeling flirty, fun rebellious. I’m enjoying my life to the max. I’m laughing with my chick friends, tinkering in the art of business and winking at strangers who deserve a bit of love from Wunna Land. Right now this weekend…even though i’m feeling a bit chubby, I’m totally on top of my game and DOLLS it feels FUCKING GREAT!

I’m enjoying every waking inch of my Bank Holiday weekend. You only live once. I’m loving it.I’m living it and doing everything that I want, when I want. I think there might even be sunshine! I’ve loved, danced and done candy flossed ‘toy store’ openings with my GORGEOUS little Wunna babies. They rinsed me. I didn’t care. If you work hard and can’t spend your money on the people and things that you love, then you’re doomed. I’ve lunched with family. I’ve drank salted rimmed margaritas at Ego in Ackworth. I’ve Pornstar Martini’ed it at city centre pitstops ( I LOVE A POP UP BAR) and over the finest wine, the most delightful lunches and VIP tables that I couldn’t turn up to, I’ve had fun. I’m happy and the great thing is that this weekend, I’m not suffering fools. I’m taking not shit. No nonsense and embracing every part of me that feels powerful.

IT FEELS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

I’ve had lots of my chick friends ask me a great deal about love and how it all works, how men work, how life works with them etc…and FIRSTLY…I’M DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BEST BET. I don’t win stars in that category. I’ve had my heart break and heal so many times that nowadays, each time new love comes striding into Wunna land, I smile, go with it and just keep my fingers crossed with hope good intentions and laughter. That’s all you can do. I know girls like to ‘fuss.’ But i like to keep things simple. If a dude likes you, he’ll like you..and he’ll come get you and if he doesn’t…he won’t. You don’t have o put your life on hold, or worry for nothing. If he adores you…he won’t lose you. Yet, I will say that I have noticed from some of my closest chickdaees that once a guy does ‘get you’ and feels all ‘slipper comfy’…which don’t get me wrong is lovely…sometimes…they forget that to make sure their girl is feeling adored, appreciated and loved. We’re weird ones, us girls. It’s something we always need to feel. Even when we feel it ourselves. When we love, we love whole heartedly, don’t we? We come shooting out that canon head first, in a swirl of love madness. It’s nutty. But hilarious.

Men aren’t the same. They’re growers. *Wink wink* They grow to love…after an initial infatuation..which is pretty sensible, on the whole..Lol. My LA friend Dylan, once explained this to me whilst chucking pasta to a wall, in strips, to see if it was cooked,as a really rummed up Magician decided to get really drunk because no one loved him? Anyway he told me, that men where like trains… and that they needed to *chug* along merrily, with no pressure before they eventually decide to THEN go through the tunnel… slooooowwwwwwlllllllyy…. and once they do and the come out the other end…. they’re apparently hooked, ready and at that point will love you more than anything? He must’ve been pissed? What the fuck was she on about? Dickhead? And that pasta wasn’t cooked. Lol.

Yet, anyway, we as chicks have become so independent, that we’ve cut the guys so much slack when it comes to making them BE MEN. We’re all self sufficient and bouji and can do love, business and life all by ourselves now, can’t we? All that’s great, as I wave the flag for a hard working kitten. I am one. BUT I like to keep love ‘old school’ in a modern day world. It’s hard isn’t it? I’m unconventional, fun and wild, yet i’m a sucker for a guy that knows how to love, goes for what he wants and as he beams, makes her beam like there’s nothing in the world more precious. Like a whirlwind of sensual, magical, yet innocent stars swirl around you both…it’s filled with  trust, loyalty, fun, sex and romance. It pisses all over Tinder. I hate all that shit.

But enough about love! It’s Bank Holiday Sunday! YEAH DOLLS! 2 for 1 cocktails for everyone!

Y’know why i’m feeling so great? It’s because i’ve pulled my kitty socks up and got shit done. I’ve had fun, met up with friends, lunched, drank and had the most divine time with my babies…BUT THIS WEEKEND, after a long week of work (and I did feel sorry for myself all last week) I’VE MANAGED TO GET BE SO PRODUCTIVE AND ACTUALLY GET SHIT DONE.

I’ve smashed it and loved it. No feeling is better to me than that feeling of actually committing to being productive and seeing the results from it. I know!!!

I’ve made sure that i’m all over your news feeds, i’ve replied to all of my messages, I’ve drawn you to fan pages, instagram pages, Tweeted my way into your lives and Snapchatted bits of life, to beckon you into Wunna land like I have Haribo in my pocket or something. 🙂 It’s worked and right now, you’re being a great audience. It almost turns me on. Lol. I mean, I only put in a BIT OF WORK to see what would happened. So if I got my glitter elbow grease out….I’d nail it. I’m feeling really confident. It’s crazy. I’m on FIRE! It’s sexy. I’m feeling sexy. 😉 I mean, I might have even felt so sexy that I Googled Porny Gifs to utilize my feeling of ‘sexy’ into ‘expression. LOL. Just me. No one else. Keeps you out of trouble. What? It’s good for you! 🙂 I’m like a dog on heat right now. I don’t know what’s up with me? I need 24 cold showers…and a seat belt. I’m feeling ‘more than usually’ kinksville. I need to slow my libido roll down.

I love these moments where I put down my daiquiri and make hay whilst the sun’s still shining. I’m ambitious so when I see results..I love it. I’m brimming over with this cheeky prosecco bubbliness. I feel amazing and I hope you do to!

My mind works weirdly, so as Jack Parson’s had told me I’m getting ideas, jotting my them down, whacking them on my walls on Post It’s and slowly putting together a plan. I’m NOT business minded. I’m a creative. I’m really creative. I’m an entertainer. So its almost like I have to approach business creatively or with more thought…OR just work with/hire the right people.

I hope you’re going to enjoy today?I have a few errands to run, before cocktails in Leeds. My friends are either out or doing date night, home life lunches or babies….I mean ‘The Mighty’ (who has managed to produce a second child) text me last night determined to FIND FUN in Leeds, when we were all at home. Lol. I knew that Mel was out, as I met her, Alex & Esme at Ego whilst they lunched and I handed them Garden Centre soap. Lol.

‘Are you trying to say I smell?’

‘Does Esme want a Mocktail. Ruby’s getting one?’

Anyway Mel went off and did hotel night with ‘Her Gary.’ I want a hotel date night. They’re always so much fun. There’s something so sexy sounding about them, right?

But yeah, I’m tired of typing now….

Enjoy the sun…as i’m definitely sure that I want to be laid on some inflatable cactus lilo right now, with a fruit umbrella drink in my hand, about some sunny pool, in a hot pink or leopard string bikini.

I have a shoot tomorrow…I boudior shoot so to speak with Claire Pritchard. She’s an AMAZING photog. I can’t WAIT to be a ‘fallen angel.’ What could be sexier? AND as you may tell…I’m feeling somewhat sexy right now. I’m embracing it as it’s my thing. It’s how I feel and where I feel most comfortable. I love sensuality. I love sexiness…in all forms. More than anything I love being a girl…We should embrace our womanhood more. It’s so powerful, it’s scary. I’m looking forward to filming my Vlog.

Ps/ I’ve spend the morning being obsessed with David Beckhams Instagram page. It’s amazing. You can’t help but love The Beckhams can you? I adore them. They’ve smashed it.

Ppps/ I love that someone actually Googled ‘Sumo Porn’ yesterday and found themselves here on this blog. You dirty bastard. Hilarious.

 

 

Don’t Mess With A Brother & His Chicken

‘Hey? Are you by yourself? Lol. What you never know? So what’s the plan today?’

The next morning in Manchester had sprung and before I had even managed to roll over in my fresh white Macdonald  Manchester Hotel sheets and rub my kitten eyes…my phone was already throwing Tuesday at me with a ‘Hurry the glamourous fuck up…’

It was snowing outside my executive suite windows, in Manchester that day! I nibbled on ‘Welcome Chrissie’ chocolates that had been left in my room, I dipped into the warmest most bubbliest bath…I LOVE A BUBBLE BATH in hotel rooms, as it’s means I must have ‘chill time.’ Showers are for rushy times and even though ‘rushy times’ are great, because they wave the flag for ‘busy,’ which means opportunity is in the palm of your hands…Nothing to me is better than those moments where you look after yourself….in bubbles…with massages….with love…or with a fresh cocktaily treat. That one moment sorts you out for the rest of the ‘dash.’

Then there was mad grooming, hair clipping, pouting, slefies, (…I mean selfies…) snapchats, last minute room checks, the gathering of goods and as I shot down out the door, down FIVE flights of stairs (I didn’t take the elevator), with a warmth, a smile and a ‘Thank you so much, you guys have been amazing,‘ I checked out my the Macdonald Manchester, swung through the revolving glass doors and WALKED to the train station (that’s why I stay there, as you can chill in bed longer and take warm baths, simply because it is moments away from your train…) and before you know it…BOOM, I was headed back to Leeds…followed by a train to Xscape, to meet good friend Abeiku Arthur (who owns the High Fashion ‘House of Solo’ Magazine) to grab lunch… and well fill him in on a  quick mountain of gossip…that I KNEW he was going to try and cleverly drill out of me.

So, I was stood outside Xscape in Castleford, it was Tuesday…and I saw him strolling up, so with the biggest smile and the loudest shout and maybe even a joyous booty dance, to not rub MY ACE LIFE in his face… I glamourously yelped…melodically ofcourse,

‘I SAW STEVEN BARTTTTTTLEEEEETT! I SAW STEVEN BARTTTLLEEET.’

Related image   Image result for steven bartlett social chain

He grinned with pride…we sort of *knuckled punched* a greeting and ran into Nandos to chow down on a bit of Peri Peri Chicken (Extra Hot) with a side of ‘catch up’ banter.

Big A: ‘Are you getting extra hot?’

Me: ‘Dude, I’m ethnic. I do extra hot.’

Now, in life…I’ve swanned around some of the most glamourous lunch spots that the world has to offer, with tiny plated savory treats, that is misted with flavours of  five star dining…BUT sometimes a chicks just got to sit with a brother and smash a bit of grilled chicken with hot sauce.

‘So, go on then…what happened at Social Chain…’

‘Everything they’re amazing. I was there for about an hour and a half…and yeah I definitely want to work with them.. I definitely fancy Steve and Katie is great…’

‘What’s Steve like then? Is he really all that or is it..?’

‘I’ve got a blog coming on this…’ (That moment where you don’t tell you friends things so that they HAVE to read your blog. :))

‘Do you want chips?’

‘Yeah, Peri ones…I’m getting a wine too…’

‘Aww, grab us a cider…You know that I met that chick from Vogue at Fashion week right…So what’s Steve like then….’

Then we smashed Peri Chicken and chips, guzzled wine, laughed about life and how it makes paths cross. (Remember at the end of last year, I told ‘House of Solo’ that I would get to meet Steve at Social Chain…AND I DID IT. Lol) We talked career, business, the future. I told him where I was headed with Chrissiewunna.com, he’s developing ‘House of Solo’ better than expected now. I mean GOD, you can buy your copy in the Eurostar VIP section, as you’re travelling to Paris fashion week…that’s a great new step. (And I don’t mind rambling on about it because I’M IN IT. BUY THE SPRING EDITION NOW! Lol)

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Then I suggested that we roll on to Burgers & Cocktails and grab a few drinks. Well I said ‘just one…’ But we know how that nifty slogan pans out…:)

Plus, I Love ‘STILL DAYTIME’ cocktails. They often feel funner than nighttime cocktails and we had a lot to chat about.

Lord knows what happened. But I ended up smashing 4 …’with sixty percent proof’ bits…’Flaming Mon’s,’ that had flamed flying out of my passion fruit and all sorts. I’m surprised naked dancing man didn’t pop out of my drink and slap my booty. It was a fruity tooty show piece.

I guess, people are similar to the cocktail that they choose to drink, or it depicts your mood. ‘House of Solo’ had a shandy. A Red Stripe Shandy. (An improvement on the ‘evening before’s’ company who simply drank water. Lol. Yet, Come on now…let’s jazz this up a bit…FUCKING RED STRIPE SHANDY with a ‘Can I have more lemonade please.’

We got the best seat in the house, which if you are following this blog, you will know that the BEST seat is wherever I’M sitting 🙂 and it’s referred to as the ‘Power table.’ Lol. In this case, it was AWESOME because we chose to not face each other and instead have seats that where onlooking the passerbys through a big glass window. We watched every single one of you and made up our own renditions of how your life goes..:) and mainly because we’re bastards. Lol. But whatever, I had had a bunch of cocktails by this point and was sneaky phone charging, so the staff couldn’t see.

We BELLY LAUGHED at life, he talked fashion, I talked Social Chain…He stupidly believes that there are actually still VIRGINS over the age of 20 in Castleford. *DYING WITH LAUGHTER HERE*

‘What the fuck are you on about? She’s not a virgin. Virgin’s are like UNICORNS…they don’t really exist…only in your deluded mind.’

Big A: ‘When I was in college in Castleford, this girl asks me out, and I thought it was weird because she asked if she could *start seeing me* and I didn’t know what that meant…cos in Africa, well…we’d just…’

(Then he does a mucky face with laughter. Lol. Do note that ‘Big A’ is African…and moved fresh from those exotic lands to Castleford. Lol.)

‘So why is it that men of the African Variety like chicks with booty?’ (As in a good bum and curvy bits…not as in what Pirates find in treasure chests.)

‘Well it’s all we see there and yeah I love a curvy girl. A big girl. That’s why it’s weird that I do High Fashion, as I have to see creative beauty in chicks that I don’t fancy at all…’

‘Why are guys scared to approach me..?’

‘Cos you’re Chrissie Wunna…’

‘No I mean really? Like really… You KNOW ME…Would you personally be scared to ask me out, if you fancied me…?

‘YES.’

Then we both PISSED OURSELVES LAUGHING, I recieved zero love life help and then out of the blue like the world had popped ‘crazy pills’ of joy, ‘House of Solo’ JUMPS UP with excitement and screeches, in his Big Black man voice…

‘Nando’s has liked our Tweet!!!!’

Honestly, it was like the world had decided to fuck up and chose us to be The Gods, for the rest of your time here on Earth.

I looked at him *blank*…not quite getting why he was that excited?

This is a guy who has VOGUE ‘like’ his work and that doesn’t phase him. Yet Nandos’ likes ONE TWEET..and he’s up in arms, screaming and shouting at how Nandos is so much bigger than Vogue and he needs to screenshot the ‘like‘ and post it everywhere. Lol.

Now, not to blow my own pink trumpet or anything 😉 But, I’m quite used to brands ‘liking’ stuff that I do. 🙂 I’m just this little kitten, who writes some blog and it’s all got carried away and now i’m (cue: Tabloid Titles:

‘..Making blogging cool again/ I’m the best thing to happen to Cyberland/ I’m the UK’s Carrie Bradshaw, / I’m Social media’s Newest IT Girl/ I’m an Sassy Inspiration..I’m everything, they say I am. 🙂 Honest!

So Nando’s ‘liking’ a Tweet, is GREAT (if you want to work with me 🙂 ) But until then…it’s kinda just a ‘like.’

Get it? Good!

Me: ‘You have three more trips to Nandos, three more posts, 3 more ‘likes’ and a Retweet until you get some Nandos attention. Let alone a flipping Black card dude.’

‘You have Black Cards to every glammy venue ever, but you don’t have a Nando’s Black Card..’

‘Yeah. They’re not going to give ME  one. People like David Beckham get them..Ed Sheran has one…I’m just this chick who writes a blog..’

‘We need one…’

‘Don’t put YOU needing a Nandos Black Card on ME. Lol. Okay, fine…let’s do Nandos every day.’

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He *beamed* with happiness….and as time flew and life went on…(I had a busy work day the next morning, so I had a lot to prep for), I waved ‘bye’ and he hung out of a window and shouted…

‘YOU DON’T MESS WITH A BROTHER AND HIS CHICKEN’

 

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