A Fabulous Glittery Madness

‘Right! You two are gonna have to be straight now and look after me. I’m taking NO responsibility for getting back to this train station by 10pm. You have to get me here, in one piece, if you want me to come play drinking with you!’

And my two delicious gays, Liam and Lee looked after me like Kings! They were GREAT! They cared for me. They molly coddled me. They made sure I was okay every little stiletto tapper of the way…..and we had a BLAST! I had been refusing to go out around Soho after dinner, in need to get home. Yet, with a ..

‘Chrissie, it’s only 7.13pm!!! You’ve got ages!’

I ended up going….But fuck it. Liam had a show to shoot in th emorning. I had just come out of a great business meeting. Lee, is on the Westend and has just finished being the main in the Lion King. We had had cocktails, posh scampi and naughty looking pork scratching. And you only live once..

PLUS….

Soho is my old haunt. When I lived in London, I was literally out on the Soho glitter cobbles EVERY NIGHT! I was just off the Paris Hilton Show and everyone adored me, but i had started dating this Boyband guy…If you go back into my archives (via the search bar) his named was ‘Boyband Jonny.’ Anyway, he always wanted to go out because he was young…and we’d do a lot of normal straight bars…but I did notice that he ALWAYS wanted to every gay bar in all the land.

Liam, Lee and I…after we tap danced the time step on the tube…(I can totally tap dance incase you didn’t know…and in heels) found ourselves tinkering to G.A.Y…which is where Boyband Jonny and I would always go…every night. Big Brother Mark Byron used to be the ‘handing out flyers guy’ outside. Even then and because I was so trusting…I didn’t even think that Boyband Jonny might actually be gay? Lol. I mean GOD!!! We were in G.A.Y every night for crying out loud!!

THE CLUE IS IN THE TITLE!!

But we’re great now and he’s all gay and lovely…and certainly states that I broke his heart. I didn’t. I just got bored of being treated badly. I love those moments when us girls suddenly get all clued up and we grow ten feet tall and march forward. Were invincible at the point and beam because we’ve managed to remember that we’re utterly of worth!

Anyway, the best night was had! Yes! I’m far too old to be staying out with the Gays and partying. I’m not used to it. But loved it. We shouted out on the busy streets of London. We danced on the cobbles, in the open airs, singing out Pop songs.

‘If i could sing. I’d be a star. I’d be Rihanna!’ Lol’

We ‘West Side Story’ leaped and finger snapped our way through traffic, whilst selfie taking with the crowds and laughing out loud at our snapchats. We danced in bars…drank…swirled with Drag Queens…and drank….we lived, we loved, we played ‘cheeky’ with security…and we drank, drank, drank,

This security guard kept telling me off and whenever he did i’d snapchat him. Lol. He wasn’t grumpy. Yet one minute he’d be telling me off and the next saying that I looked like Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls and asking to take me home.

DUDE! Girls like me have TRAINS TO CATCH.

Liam, Lee and I swirled our magic, around a glitter mess of fabulosity.

‘I haven’t had this much fun in ages..’

And just as the boys promised….even when they were moderately pissed. They got me to the tube station…LORD KNOWS HOW! I was battered. Glamourously battered ofcourse. Definitely felt ill. But was still beaming.

Liam stayed out. HAHAHAHA! Happy 8am filming! And Lee had a singing show thing to get to by 11am. Where he was performing! Lol.

I got on that 10pm train. I might have been sick.I can’t remember. Liam might have also puked in his hotel room. Infact all my friend across the lands were doing sicks. Double B said she puked into a cup whilst driving around a roundabout. Her distant cousin Double D puked in someones bed? No…wait. He puked from drinking and woke up in someones bed…some girls bed…he was woke up by the sound of a baby! 🙂

The great thing is that I had lots of London fun. (Even though I have annoying London friends, who are moaning that I didn’t get time to see them. I was working..and well if you don’t ask to see me, then obviously you won’t. Lol. Why do people wait in the wings? It’s dull. So much happens in my life that you have to catch me when you’ve got my attention…or strike when the irons….gin. 🙂 )

However, yes, best time ever. Great catch up. Great business meeting…but knackered. It was fabulous because it made me remember how much I adore to chill!

So right! Everything in Wunna land is all about taking care of myself now. Don’t worry i’m not going to go nuts. I’m just gonna eat better, drink less…smile more…and all that good old jiggery. Get fitter. Chill! And not really stress.

I’m gonna love! I feel all inspired and fancy inspiring. Stay focused on what you want to do. Do it well…the people that adore you will always be around. They’ll stand by you and cheer you on!

And i have nothing to lose…:)

Enjoy this absolutely GORGEOUS WEATHER!

ps/ My love goes out to all of those involved in the Manchester explosions. That came as a shock! Hope everyone is safe!

 

 

 

London Business Trips & Brambles

Busiest weekend!

I glamorously fluttered from a full week of work, juggled the babies, winked wit a wine and then after a few hours sleep, I was up, getting changed and headed to London on Saturday for a really important meeting. I had another really important meeting that I ended up having to Skype whilst en route to Platform 3A to Kings Cross. It’s always weird doing a work Skype call in really public places, as you feel like a dickhead whilst you’re trying to sell yourself. Everyone glares at you likes you definitely have the lergy. But at least I had gin and tonics in my handbag. I kept shit bouji. It got me over the ‘pretending that I didn’t notice everyone glaring at me.’

Right, I’m just going to skim everything, as far too much has happened and I don’t have time to fit it all in. Plus, I have work in an hour.

Got to London in one sassy stop, was two hours early for my meeting, so I took my blue pin striped self to The Plum & Split Milk (which is one of favourite ‘by a train station’ cocktail joints. It’s delicious and decadent, with good looking waiters and chandeliers. But more importantly..the food and cocktails are DIVINE and made with love.)

This American guy started talking to me at the bar. He had always wished to go to LA, but spent his time in Philly. His sister was getting married in Scotland, which found him in London sat by me at a bar. He was smart and new lots about news and current affairs. Y’know, stuff that I’m shit at. However, I got him talking about men, sex and love…just in general 🙂 and after his eyes kept wandering to my boob line…I knew my time in his world was done and that I had stamped my mark on his life path for probably ever.

‘I feel like i should know who you are?’

‘I’ve got 3 minutes to get to my meeting…Nice meeting you. See ya!’

(I look to the bartender…)

‘Where is the Karpo Grill?’

Shot across the busy London streets by Kings cross, in my mini skirt and shirt, with 1 minute to go and a really big meeting ahead of me. I didn’t bring a coat..I was freezing, but as soon as I got almost outside the ‘Karpo’ door, there was a guy, a fun, warm business guy waiting for me with a smile..

‘Chrissie?’

‘Yeah, yeah…HI!’

‘It’s just straight down there…All the way down…’

Karpo Grill is a great place to chill and have a meeting. As soon as I tottered down, I felt cosy and comfy…Two other members o the team were there, so I ordered a wine and we got chatting…(I LOVE THESE PEOPLE. Their project is amazing…and if it’s done right, it will BLOW UP.)

Obviously, I can’t tell you anything about my meeting, other than banter, maybe naughty natters, a look to the future, sexiness, wine and agreeing business collaborations. There may have been talks about chimps, lovers, chips and peeky train rides. AND I DEFINITELY randomly started CHOKING on my burger, because I kept getting excited and talking with my mouth full. I really did choke. It was embarrassingly hilarious..and they were so polite that they didn’t make my embarassing choke festival a ‘thing.’ It was great! 🙂 More wine!

But yes, four very different people sat at a long Karpo table…yet the perfect elements to help smash one of the biggest projects about to infiltrate your lives…Were all very smart in our own areas of expertise.

I’ve signed and NDA, so that’s all I can wink at ya. But I am SO excited to be part of one of the most exhilarating projects that you WILL BECOME ADDICTED TO. It’s sexy, sassy, so creative and has never been done before! You will be hooked! As like I said, I have never been so excited for a project before, the way I am with this.

STAY VERY TUNED!

Then with five missed calls from my fabulously camp Liam. (He was in London overnight to get ready for filming the next morning for a TV show,) i had to dash off as fast as my kitten feet to take me.

I air kissed everyone goodbye, thanked them…and in a whirl…I swooshed away, out of one glass door, across more busy streets and into another…which lead me to a corner table, in a swooshy cocktail bar, as Liam sat there with a smile, a drink already ordered for me…and a sparkle in his eyes, which meant that we were going to have the best gay/girl banter that you could only have on a Saturday night, over Brambles in London…

That night I agreed to get kidnapped by the Gays…

To be continued…

I need to get to work.

 

 

 

Life, Swirls & Connections…

Today…if I looked at the positive and pick out the bits that matter, even though it rained all day in Yorkshire and parts of work were a draaaag, it was a GREAT DAY to be alive. I’m noticing when i’m happy. I’m embracing the things that I have going on that are wonderful and even though I’m all *winks & banter,* with sassy little stocking shimmies….I’m warm…If you know me personally and infact most of you actually don’t. But i’m grateful that you’re following my life. Know that by nature i’m quite playful, I’m quite soft…but i’m loads of glittery fun….

I looked around me today as I walked across the cobbles in the rain….with the weird blue ‘Lifeboat’ umbrella that I found and yeah…life wasn’t so bad. It was great day to be alive. (Still fucking wished it was Friday though! AND still fricking wish that it didn’t rain all over my hair.)

I have a lot going on right now from book deals, to tours, to modelling shoots, to business meetings, to brand deals and being mum…It’s the best thing EVER and on the whole  a super exciting time..BUT it’s relaxed because i’m feeling really in control of it all and these days, I don’t care about stressing out. It’s a pointless thing that we do when we’re scared. More than anything, I’m flipping lucky! I’ve got this shit down, on a calm easy, hair tossing breeeeeeeeeeeze!

But yeah, I had a conference called this morning. Edited a bit of my new book that’s out this year. I watched ‘Firmonnell’ enter holiday mode and pretty much toss the day off with glee. (I love her on holiday mode. She kept randomly talking tripe to people, like some ‘clingy on’ friend, just to kill time, so she wouldn’t have to do anything. Lol. It worked! Hahah!)

‘Oh hey Dipper…’

‘Oh hey Webbo!’

Double B must have called me a ‘BITCH‘ approximately 13 times today, but I let her off because lets face it, she’s a loon, but she’s fucking hilarious. We talked ‘my future‘ over lunch today, as we discussed life overlooking the town with her Rapunzel hair, whilst she ate super noodles.

‘Hustle Barbie’ had itches, which i’m sure she said were crabs? 🙂

Me: ‘You’re passing your itch onto me…’

Hustle B: ‘Do you have a pen? A black pen. GOD! I can’t reach my ITCH and it kills!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ (who has just got back from helicopter rides to hotels in Monte Carlo,) just looks like she’s going to fall pregnant soon….

‘Honestly! I can see it in your face! You’re gonna end up preggo.’

(She smiled like she liked the idea…)

Mel is on her military diet and smashing ‘weigh ins’ so she doesn’t have to pay to ‘jolly in’ with the slimmers..

‘It’s giving me headache…Where are those Jelly Babies..?’

and Lady Shizzle is showing us group selfies that resemble the cast of TOWIE in Marbs?

‘Did I show this selfie? Look…’

And then there’s me….

Just me…

And if I could tell you anything, I’ll tell you that i’m in a swirl. There’s this guy. The most amazing guy that I could ever know and I cannot even tell you how lucky he makes me feel right now…

When it comes to guys…or girls infact and the art of finding a great match…One of those soul connections that make you *BEAM* because you just can’t help it…you sort of need to gel on every level…don’t you!

With this guy…I have that…and i’ve never really felt like this before…

We can be besties and kick it…lovers and ‘filth it,’ take each other lightly, take each other seriously…express…trust…and just BE! We’re easy going humans….and I’m loving every single minute of ‘right now.’

I’m in a swirl and i’m beaming. He makes me feel really happy. He’s an AMAZING MAN and I don’t think my path would or could ever cross with a better one.

I’m someone who lives in the present and I never stress out about the ahead. People stress out too much about needing to know the outcome of something whilst forgetting to enjoy the ‘right now.’ When you embrace the ‘right now’ magical things happen, Infact  life, love and all sorts develop from those moments and much faster than you expect because you’ve embraced them without fear. We think and analyse things too much, instead of relaxing and really enjoy those moments with love.

For anyone of you IN stressy love life situations know that the development of it all is great, as it’s sort of like receiving a pink gift box… undoing the big bow… slooooowly unravelling the wrapping away, gently opening the box and reaching into it… to see the gift. You pick the gift up and play around with it for a bit…then you hold  palm of your hands and treasure it close to your heart because it’s ended up meaning so much to you, without you realizing. It’s magical. 🙂

But yes, i’m in a swirl.

He’s dynamic, but there’s a peaceful gentleness to him. We’re really similar like that. There’s a playfulness to him, but he’s a stand up guy! I’m really lucky. Anybody who gets to cross paths with this guy is lucky. I trust him.(That’s big) I trust him.

He totally deserved the bunny tail thong picture this morning. 😉

Anyway, I need a cheeky little wine.

Thank you for reading this…you actually mean the world to me. You are reading this with THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, across the entire globe on every single continent of the world, That in itself IS CRAZY! I can’t even believe it.

So whether you’re a mum in Yorkshire, a business man in New York, a teenager in Japan, or a Doctor in Australia? Whether you’re a model in LA, a party girl in London, a husband in Africa, a teacher in Asia….Thank you all for reading…I’ve accidentally connected you ALL, by writing this little online diary… 🙂

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

Hormonally Imbalanced Banter

Today was about business and banter. I don’t know what happened, but it was a rainy day in Yorkshire. I was stood outside in my grey pencil dress and faux fur wondering where everyone had got to? One had slept through the alarm, another needed to get cake, the other was ill and Firmonnell decided to take 300 years to go buy milk…

Me: ‘Why has it taken you so long to get milk?’

Firmonnell: ‘I got pants too…’

(She was sassy today…in her slutty specs.)

Then it all went the best way we like it…downhill..as we surrendered to fun and just went with ‘fuck it.’ Sometime s’fuck it’ is such a good option, as we as humans spend so much time being far too serious and far too serious playing ‘game and front’ that we forget to just relax and just adore all that is happening to us in love and work.

I’m a fun girl and in my world, I think there’s ALWAYS TIME for a giggle, ALWAYS TIME for a joke and always time for a champagne and to dance on tables. Even for just a minute…there’s time for a moment of adventure.. always. Be it calm, saucy, busy or hilarious. If you can’t make time for a moment, then you’re doomed, because life will come and post you a ‘shoulda coulda’ memo…and they’re always shit.

Live now. Embrace all the wonderful changes that are happening to you. Make porn out of Jelly Babies and send it to the guy you fancy. (I 100 percentage absolutely did that today. 🙂 I’m such a catch. Obvs! But whatever, I told you, i’m living like i have nothing to lose and this guy is literally the man of my dreams. I like him…A LOT.)

Then all my chick friends decided to either be on a period, endure the week before they get their period or just be period. You’ve got to love chicks when we’re hormonally imbalanced. It’s sassy, it’s sexy…it’s almost fucked up. Lol.

Then went on rants. Rants SO good that there were moments where we were literally all just looking at each other and CRYING with laughter.

Double B: ”Honestly, I could smoke a cigarette and stab it out in his eyes..’

 ‘All i want to do is cry…What’s wrong with me??’

Hustle Barbie: ‘You have to marry your best friend. I mean god! That’s why I HATE him…because i went for someone that I was just relatively attracted to. We don’t even get on Lol..Oh.. and my cat has friends.’

Me: I’m totally in a swirl. I totally send him nudes.’

Double D: ‘Do you want some of this…’

Me: What!! Half eaten disgusting cheesecake! Don’t try and offer me half eaten shit.’

Mel: I hate the word gusset!!! I have mine the the wrong way around today!’

‘You need to try and get that Monday off so you can get away…’

Double B: ‘He can suck my wad!’

Fairytale Blond: ‘Ive Facebooked her. Guess what colour hair she has?

Firmonnell: ‘Blond’

Double B: ‘Green.’

Me: ‘Ginger.’

Firmonnell: BLOND!

Double B: ‘GREEN!’

Me: ‘ I said, GINGER.’

Fairtayle: No, it’s brown…’

Me: ‘Why does that whole conversation feel pointless? Lol’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Why is it that I can’t tell a story without doing the voices.’

‘Not the voices…’

‘Yours start out Irish and then always end Indian.’

Webbo: ‘I was almost late today because I was playing hide and seek with the kids. I just thought they just better hurry up and FIND ME, cos i’ve got to chuffing get to work.’

‘She’s definitely an alcoholic.’

Firmonnel: ‘I think it’s odd that you and Jordan share clothes?? Liek you shouldn’t share clothes with your boyfriend. We’re you in his jacket today?’

Double B: ‘I’ll come home and he’s in my leggings.’

‘You can’t sit with us, we’re models.’

‘I kicked off the last time i went Karting, as I didn’t want to wear the helmet.’

‘Hahaha….I love it. Proper Diva.’

That was how the morning began until it just got boring and I spent the day messaging ‘the swirl’ because i’m all ‘nothing to lose,’ was completely on top of all business and well I just find him delicious. I can’t help it.

Glad you had a good one…

Why haven’t you followed me on Instagram?

chrissiewunna

Ps/ My chicks friends are currently on Whatsapp discussing the words ‘MOIST…MUSHROOM & CRUSTY!’ 

 

 

 

Don’t look like a sausage roll…

I’ve just been living. So my apologies for the ‘no blog.’ I kept meaning to write one, then I’d opt for a beautiful fruit gin instead, as I hovered the dairy in’pending’ before another gin tinkered in.

I’ve worked through the weekend, so I pretty much only had Sunday to *kapow* it. As usually I’d KAPOW Saturday and take a massive luxury chill on Sunday. It’s like i had to *binge* fun into a day with friends, cocktails, family and love. I don’t like *binge* fun, cos now…it’s Monday and I feel fucking shattered. I’ve also decided that anything that begins with the words ‘ALL IN….’ is shit. 🙂

Lots is happening. My world is spinning, it’s a really exciting time and I feel like i’m about to wink my way to everything i’ve  always dreamed of. I had a few last minute glitches at the end of last week work wise. Some people kind. Some people… RUDE as hell. (Don’t be rude, i’ll think you’re a dick. I don’t know where people get off being ‘no reason’ rude…especially when they look like an ice goat from the Narnia cupboard. You can’t be a goat, have poor shoe game and then try and spit out bastardy behavior. It will not work for you…even if you’re wearing my Little Mistress faux fur.

Saturday was ‘work Saturday.’ And it was rubbish. I hated Saturday because I could’ve thought of 900 other things that I would rather be doing, than what I was having to be doing. I kept looking at the window sighing for more eventful times. I wanted to karate kick out my cage. Lol.

If my chick friend ‘Double B’ didn’t state that some looked like a… (wait for it..)

‘…a sausage roll with a wig on..’

Hhahahah! Life would’ve be shit. And because it was THE ONLY funny thing to have happened, I clung onto the thought for hours and it tickled me all day.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘I’ still not over the sausage roll thing..’

‘It’s because she does actually look like one…lol.’

I LOVE ‘Double B’s insults because they’ll always be the most comedically odd, bitchy bits of ‘hoo haa.’ Like if ‘Mean Girls’ was Yorkshire and dipped in a silly whore sassiness…you would have what my ears hear on daily, from this chicks mouth. And then she’ll always top off the worse bits of insult off with her, ‘PAY THE FEE’ cheerleader dance.

‘Pay the feeee. Pay the feeeeeeeeee. Peace out. A Town.’

Firmonnell’s still happily married to ‘Big D’ and he’s totally stepped up his game. First he introduced a sex step, THEN he got a promotion…AND NOW he obtains these bags of jelly babies for free.

Big D and I used to go ice skating when we were kids at The Dome…as that all you could do in Doncaster… or ‘Dancing School.’ I mean who on EARTH gets to be married to Willy Wonka. AND SHE CAN’T EVEN ICE SKATE. I did the polite thing and told her that I might love or feel up her husband now that he has jellies.

She told me to ‘BACK THE FUCK OFF‘ Hahaha!

‘What? the dude’s got sweets and shit?’ 🙂

I’m loving this new ‘nothing to lose‘ outlook on life that i’m totally A* ..ing. I’ve got the reins to my world now and i’m flying baby, FLYING! Yes, i’m being a bit sassy, a bit annoying, a bit of a ‘doo daa’ at times…but i’m loving it and it’s ace and this is my patch of cyberland…so there! Prosecco for everyone!

(Hustle Barbie says it’s MY fault that she didn’t tidy her house because she went to do a blog catch up and ended up on this blog for hours. I assured her that there would be hot toyboys who would offer to clean her home for her…and that she could then leave her beau to date Gino D’Acampo. Great solution! I should have a therapy show!)

I’m in a swirl. God! This guy, ‘the swirl’ has got me going CRAZY!

Me: ‘I can’t hake you out my head. You’re in there. Always. I like it.’

‘Yeah me too..it feel ssoooooooo good.’

It’s thrown me a bit as you know how much I distrust my own judgements on anything ‘love or lust‘ related. This weekend, i just thought ‘fuck it’ (as I just can’t quit swirling about him) and with the whole ‘nothing to lose‘ mantra strapped onto my dildo…:) I WENT FOR IT.

He might have sent me a *spacky bum bum* emoji at one point. Lol.

I like this guy (but i’ve been treading cautiously..of previous)…We already get on well, so we don’t really need to try at that, as it’s just the way our personalities jigsaw. That part is a biggie, so we’re lucky like that.

So after picture taking, messages and him having a mild moan that they wasn’t much video content…Lol

‘Work your magic. 🙂 xx

‘You work your fucking magic. I’ve deleted every single SELFIE IN THE WORLD!!!!!’

We pissed ourselves, he went off on his night out and I got dressed, went to the bar and asked a guy to delete all my read emails so that I could video. Hahahaha! And he did! Very grateful!

Video galore was made on Sunday. It started sweet and just turned x rated. I couldn’t help it. The guy gets me going like that. Then like a magical flowing trail of saucy digital content…I proved that I had ‘nothing to lose.’ 🙂

It felt liberating. It felt sexy.

It was received with the upmost appreciation and messages to assure me that it was divine. Lol

I should get trophies for it! Yet, the art of sexy and seduction is knackering. I needed a warm bath and a ‘straight to bed’ afterward. Knowing my luck, I probably got him all juiced up and filled with spunk, so he could go bone some ‘first girl there’ chick because his willy couldn’t help it. Hahaha! I DID ALL THE FUCKING LEG WORK!!!! 🙂 Whatever, I’m Miss Wunna…ain’t no girl gonna beat my sauce. 🙂

Joking aside. I’m happy and like i said, you have to cling onto those moments of happy, don’t you? They keep things exciting and we (I hope) have exciting times ahead. The swirl is good because it weirdly has a magic to it, a magic that i’m labelling ‘substance.’ Like it could go really well..if we wanted it to.

If I could give you any advice from what I’ve learnt from my weekend, it would be to GO FOR IT. Express yourself. Be loving. Be open. be honest. Don’t give two shits about fear and get what you want…or at least have a go at trying…

‘Once upon a time..Mummy sent Daddy Nudes….and they lived happily ever after! 🙂 ‘

Oh and try not to look like a sausage roll..

Shit, i’ve got to dash…

Working ALL DAY.

 

 

Business, Swirls & Bouji Gin

So, I thought I was gonna chill & be quiet, yet this inner need for noise and bustle got the better of me, after *peace* had been  successfully’ticked’ off my ‘To do’ list. I found myself sending my bored friend Abeiku Arthur (who owns House of Solo Magazine..which I shot for) and by 7.30pm I as sat, in my faux fur, outside at a table with a red red wine at The Carlton, In Pontefract. It’s a local pub that I used to go to all the time, almost every time…Lol…almost racking up open tabs of hundreds of pounds time…Yet now I just peep in for a ‘kick back’ gin and tonic and jolly chilled banter with good friends.

I got there early so I just sat by myself, ‘House of Solo’ got there shortly afterward and after moaning that he wanted a burger and with a shandy in his hand, we pulled up a wooden chair and we started to talk work.

So, I’m running my blog, this blog..Wunna Land and he’s running his high fashion magazine…and every so often we catch up, to see how the other’s business is going on and chat shit about everyone basically. Lol. We loved chatting shit so much yesterday evening over wine that an old Yorkshire man, who was stood with his wife, stopped us and shouted across the outside ‘smokers’ patio…

‘Can I just say, you two look REeeeeEEEALLY HAPPY.’

Me: We’re talking about strip clubs and he’s moaning about £20 for a 3 minute dance, prices of them….HAHAH.’

The wife smiled, apologized for her husband, when she didn’t really need to… and said,

‘Aww, they’re just mates. Y’can tell…Especially if they’re taking about strip clubs, I’d whack you one..’

Everyone burts into laughter and the Yorkshire man finished off by shouting,

‘Bloody hell…Sorry. i didn’t realize. I just thought you looked happy, like you were gonna run off and plant daffodils or something.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love people. I love funny strangers. He properly made my evening. Then he left.

But yes, after ‘House of Solo’ moaned about dodgy strips clubs in Wakefield.

Me: ‘As if you’re so stupid that you don’t know anything about strip clubs…They don’t just walk around fucking naked you idiot. You have to pay for that! Lol. That’s the WHOLE POINT!’

House of Solo: ‘Where’s my burger???’

Me: ‘Hahaha! You look like a zero swag dickhead, having to hold a basket of condiments with you, wherever you go!!’

Anyway, we then got talking about our careers. I was telling him about the stuff that I had going on, my collabos, my meetings, the investment deals, showing him my social stats and where I wanted to be headed this Summer career wise. And he’s always really positive about it with me, but at the same time keeps it real…Kinda like I am. I’m the same way. We’re straight talkers. However, i’m far more charming.

‘It’s only because you’re a girl…that’s why you have MAD followers…It’s harder if you’re a guy.’

Then I started talking about some of the recent Vlogs I’d been watching and Blogs people had or hadn’t been writing and how I thought they were doing, as personal brands. Some people get it? And some people JUST DON’T. I mean GOD! I love talking about other people’s blogs and vlogs…and gobbing my opinion of them as a brand. I get away with it, because my patch of cyberland is sassy. It gives me a the ‘green light’ to swear about other people’s patches all I want. 🙂

If you’re gonna be blogger or a vlogger that intends to *jiggly wiggly* into the world of personal branding, then you pretty much should be able to EXPRESS yourself PERSONALLY. If you can’t, or don’t..and I can always see through those that are uncomfortable or faking it…Your personal brand will just never work. It’ll just be boring, unauthentic…and like everyone elses. *SNOOZE* The idea is that you are true to who you are…YET, even if you are true to your voice in cyberland, you’ve got to have that ‘something, something’ that is simply captivating…Without that, in a business of ‘show’ you’re fucked.

I should have a ‘Swear tin’or something? Every time I SWEAR i’ll tinkle some change into a tin and when it’s full, I’ll give all the dodgy made money to charity. That’d be awesome. ‘Wunna swore for Guide Dogs’ or something? I could save lives and everything…Shame i’m not in the right heels. 😉 I’ll have to book in into next season’s diary. 🙂

Anyway, ‘House of Solo’ got his burger, I got a posh berried gin, as he showed me his front over ideas for the next edition. He’s doing four separate covers…and one of them I ADORE. It’s a shocker. I’m gonna PR the balls out of it for him and just because I think it’s SOOOO ‘out there.’ It’s gonna open eyes. (And no, it’s not a Wunna crotch shot…as really…that wouldn’t be too shocking to most,and my crotch isn’t that ‘High Fashion.’ Lol. Who knows, we could plonks some Burberry on it and whip it down a runway?)

Long story short, we quit chatting about our work…and just drank a bunch of gin with berries in.

House of Solo: ‘I want a fruity gin..’

Me: ‘When did The Carlton start doing bouji gin..?’

I love how all bars are now going on this ‘Gin is all BOUJI and new’ thing. IT’S BEEN GOING ON FOR DECADES. Y’know ‘Mother’s ruin’ and all that! But i’m not complaining. My drink was delicious and served to me by my old school friend ‘Pogson.’

Me: ‘Are we the last ones in here, cos you’re turning the lights off?’

Pogson: ‘Nooo, i’ve poured myself a Peroni, you’re fine.’

Anyway, we ‘House of Solo’ and I quit talking about work and started chatting about our love lives. (This is after we had politely slagged everyone off…Lol)

‘What? Chrissie! She just bums you..’

‘Yeah. I like it when people do that! Lol.’

But, yes…he was telling me about his happily tragic love life and I was telling him about mine…yet….in snippets…as believe it or not i’m always quite private about mine, so i’ll let you tell me everything and i’ll tell you bits…the unimportant bits, to keep you happy. I’ve been getting loads of messages from guys over the last few weeks (because i’m a chick with boobies) rambling on about if i’m ‘single, single, single‘ and then being in a mood because I won’t reply, which makes me ‘ignorant.’ Lol.

BLAH.

I’m not ignorant. I’m just busy and i’m not someone who’s gonna waste your time, or mislead you. I think that’s wrong, as you can never get your wasted time back. But I read all your messages and i am very flattered. Don’t think I’m not…and don’t call me ignorant, just because I don’t reply. Lol. Use a different word like ‘swine‘ to get my attention. It’s rude and has reference to booze in it. It’s a winner!

If i’m being honest…There’s obviously someone i’m in a swirl about I think he’s awesome. I really fancy him. He’a a great guy. And when it comes to things like that…as in ‘swirls,‘ I’ve kinda got a one track mind…Meaning, if i’m in a swirl, or I like a guy…it’s pretty hard, for you to get me, to like you more…unless the swirl has…well…swirled off. Lol

Anyway, I gave ‘House of Solo’ love life advice and he gave me guy advice…We gave each other advice, on how important it was to refrain from ‘playing it cool’ …cos sometimes you can plays something SO COOL, that nothing gets done…He moved forward with his mode of action and if i’m being honest, over the past week, I’ve really thought about ‘my swirl‘ a lot. I’ve been busy and working…but…

Whatever…in that moment I felt all inspired, we both did…So we reached for our phones..

Unfortunately for him, his phone died and ran out of charge..Lol. WHAT A BALL ACHE. It ran out of charge RIGHT WHEN HE NEEDED IT.

Mine phone didn’t…

And with a. ..

‘I’m thinking about you…I’m kinda missing ya lots…’

… at around 10.22pm

Everything in that moment felt wonderful.

 

 

 

Cocktails, Banter & Love History

Double B: ‘Yeah but you’re always hung over on a Saturday…’

Firmonnell: ‘I still come in and DO WORK. Anyway, fuck off!!! YOU CAN’T TALK when you’ve once walked into work looking like a 192o’s DISHWASHER!!!!’

Double B: ‘Chrissie? Is this YOUR passport?’

(Shows me a passport of a young Chinese man…)

‘…just thought it was you without your weave in…’

Me: ‘LOL. Why are you ALL dickheads??? Anyway, shut up, i’m texting… Potter says he’s *got me sussed…?* What is he even on about?? Got me sussed? Like i’m some kind of …’

Double D: ‘Look at you. You just love all the attention. You need it now that you’re old..’

Me: ‘What the actual fuck! Leave me alone. Leave me in my granny corner to be old and quiet.’

Double D: ‘It’s just banter… GOD!!’

Me: ‘Hmmm…well I don’t like it. I’m sensitive…’

There is a *PAUSE*

Then as I peeked at Firmonnell via my little kitten eye..we literally burst into a hysterical, mid blowing belly chuckle! A chuckle so hard that we literally flung our heads back and maybe did LITTLE WEES in our Ann Summers/Bridget Jones frillies.

I have the greatest chick friends…they sort of worship me and ground me all at the same ‘abusive’ time. 🙂 You need your life soldiers. Ya chicks in heels. We support each other to the moon and back and even though we banter away with inappropriate humour, sassy tongues, tears or tantrums at times…. (It’s just what ‘us northerners’ do…) Alongside that, we build each other up so greatly, that there’ll never be a page in our diaries that reads, ‘I just never felt good enough..’

This chapter of my life is the changing chapter, yet it is currently a GREAT ONE. I’ll always remember it…Sort of like I remember my first ever LA chapter…when I arrived at LAX with nothing but a suitcase and my fingers crossed, as the warm air hit me. I also remember that in that time…I fell in love…It ran through my mind as I drove home yesterday after work. I haven’t spoken to Mikey (who was my first husband, when we were kids in LA, trying to be future success stories) and i’m someone who’s always really great with my exes. I’m apparently always ‘the one that got away.’ *Rolls Eyes.* I’m joking…Lol…I’m good friends with a lot of my exes and I do mean JUST FRIENDS. Not all of you though. Some of you I really do think are utter planks. 🙂 You know who you are…*POINTS FINGERS.*

Anyway, I thought about that time merrily because it was such a pure time before the birth of ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ so to speak. I was so innocent then and in that time I couldn’t have met a more perfect ‘team mate’ to do life with. So even though we don’t speak…and I there’s a HUGE STORY to tell…There’s years worth of stories that no one will ever know about and I don’t tell the stories because it kinda overlaps with certain things, that were going on in my life at that time…and well I respect him enough to keep it bundled as a silent ‘memory bubble,’ that we’ll both have.  We didn’t quite get the correct closure…I’d say. One day, when I see him.. I’ll get that. During that time, if we didn’t go our separate ways, he certainly wouldn’t have become the success he is today…and well…neither would I. We were young and to be honest it’s kinda the Hollywood way….

But yes, as I drove home yesterday early evening, I smiled because during that early LA chapter, I kinda looked back and thanked him for making me feel like the most loved girl in the entire world. He respected and treasured me. Some girls go through their entire lives never getting to feel that…I mean GOD, I don’t even nearly feel like that right now…But it was so important that it popped into my head because it reminded me of a very happy LA chapter (as it did go a bit dodgy from that point, but that dodginess was essential to my making 🙂 ) and it also reminded me that in life anything can happen when it comes to love…and sometimes it can just ‘Jack in a Box’ you out of nowhere. If you’ve felt true love, you can feel it again….and if you ARE single, be you young, in your 20’s, fourties or an aging, independent thirty something glamour puss 😉 know that there’s this AMAZING guy, who will pop out of nowhere and treasure you. One that you’ll actually fancy! I know!!! No, I haven’t had rum! You don’t have to wait it out..you just have to get on with being your fabulous self…and that imaginary Knight will gallop on in and sweep you off your fucking budget Louboutins.

I don’t know why i’ve gone on about all that, because that’s not at all what I wanted to chat about?? I was gonna tell you all about how important blogging was and how organised and feisty I am now and how I’ve become so focused. How I’ve decide to work with some amazing new brands. I needed to do my Laura Bartlett blog. ( I loved her.) How so much is happening and it’s all very exciting…work wise.

I mean, it all goes back to that meeting that I had with Jack Parsons. It put me in ‘check’ and organised me mentally. He has been one of the most inspiring people i’ve met so far this year, because he actually helped me. I need some help. Lol. ALL THE HELP. But no, right now, when it comes to my brand/business, I’m in a powerful place where I’m gonna need mentoring and at the same time so ‘big boys’ to step in and make Wunna Land MASSIVE. Jack is going to be good at this. I can feel it in my sassy bones. He’s on his way up to the stars and still has the ability to remind me that I can smash it. I’ll remind him of that when we’re both ‘chilling it’ on the Forbes list. 😉 At least he has an office. I want a fucking office!

But i’ll tell you all about work some other time. I guess my mind just wanted to tell you a love story instead?? FFS.

Hope you’re having an amazing weekend. I’m enjoying a really chilled one with my babies ‘Ruby & Junior.’ They rinsed me at the toy store, we’ve lunched and mocktailed at Ego, in Ackworth. (I go there a lot. It’s local to me.) I’m loving my weekend, as usually i’m dashing about having to ‘jump on a train‘ this…or ‘leap to the next platform‘ that. There’s not been much ME time or…well it’s all been fucking stressful. 🙂

Feeling chilled is my favourite…Maybe because by nature my soul is so WILD. When it comes to the days that I choose peace, I treasure them like those red flavoured fruit pastels. I’m happy. My kids are happy. Everyone i’m working with is happy. I’m doing well and now on a ‘not so ropey’ success ladder. I’m strutting up it like i’m Fred Astaire in tap shoes.

*Throws you a wink and a pout*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sassy, Bank Holiday Sexiness…

I’M HAPPY!

I’m sprinkled in a confetti fun, dazzled with a giddy charm. I’m feeling flirty, fun rebellious. I’m enjoying my life to the max. I’m laughing with my chick friends, tinkering in the art of business and winking at strangers who deserve a bit of love from Wunna Land. Right now this weekend…even though i’m feeling a bit chubby, I’m totally on top of my game and DOLLS it feels FUCKING GREAT!

I’m enjoying every waking inch of my Bank Holiday weekend. You only live once. I’m loving it.I’m living it and doing everything that I want, when I want. I think there might even be sunshine! I’ve loved, danced and done candy flossed ‘toy store’ openings with my GORGEOUS little Wunna babies. They rinsed me. I didn’t care. If you work hard and can’t spend your money on the people and things that you love, then you’re doomed. I’ve lunched with family. I’ve drank salted rimmed margaritas at Ego in Ackworth. I’ve Pornstar Martini’ed it at city centre pitstops ( I LOVE A POP UP BAR) and over the finest wine, the most delightful lunches and VIP tables that I couldn’t turn up to, I’ve had fun. I’m happy and the great thing is that this weekend, I’m not suffering fools. I’m taking not shit. No nonsense and embracing every part of me that feels powerful.

IT FEELS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

I’ve had lots of my chick friends ask me a great deal about love and how it all works, how men work, how life works with them etc…and FIRSTLY…I’M DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BEST BET. I don’t win stars in that category. I’ve had my heart break and heal so many times that nowadays, each time new love comes striding into Wunna land, I smile, go with it and just keep my fingers crossed with hope good intentions and laughter. That’s all you can do. I know girls like to ‘fuss.’ But i like to keep things simple. If a dude likes you, he’ll like you..and he’ll come get you and if he doesn’t…he won’t. You don’t have o put your life on hold, or worry for nothing. If he adores you…he won’t lose you. Yet, I will say that I have noticed from some of my closest chickdaees that once a guy does ‘get you’ and feels all ‘slipper comfy’…which don’t get me wrong is lovely…sometimes…they forget that to make sure their girl is feeling adored, appreciated and loved. We’re weird ones, us girls. It’s something we always need to feel. Even when we feel it ourselves. When we love, we love whole heartedly, don’t we? We come shooting out that canon head first, in a swirl of love madness. It’s nutty. But hilarious.

Men aren’t the same. They’re growers. *Wink wink* They grow to love…after an initial infatuation..which is pretty sensible, on the whole..Lol. My LA friend Dylan, once explained this to me whilst chucking pasta to a wall, in strips, to see if it was cooked,as a really rummed up Magician decided to get really drunk because no one loved him? Anyway he told me, that men where like trains… and that they needed to *chug* along merrily, with no pressure before they eventually decide to THEN go through the tunnel… slooooowwwwwwlllllllyy…. and once they do and the come out the other end…. they’re apparently hooked, ready and at that point will love you more than anything? He must’ve been pissed? What the fuck was she on about? Dickhead? And that pasta wasn’t cooked. Lol.

Yet, anyway, we as chicks have become so independent, that we’ve cut the guys so much slack when it comes to making them BE MEN. We’re all self sufficient and bouji and can do love, business and life all by ourselves now, can’t we? All that’s great, as I wave the flag for a hard working kitten. I am one. BUT I like to keep love ‘old school’ in a modern day world. It’s hard isn’t it? I’m unconventional, fun and wild, yet i’m a sucker for a guy that knows how to love, goes for what he wants and as he beams, makes her beam like there’s nothing in the world more precious. Like a whirlwind of sensual, magical, yet innocent stars swirl around you both…it’s filled with  trust, loyalty, fun, sex and romance. It pisses all over Tinder. I hate all that shit.

But enough about love! It’s Bank Holiday Sunday! YEAH DOLLS! 2 for 1 cocktails for everyone!

Y’know why i’m feeling so great? It’s because i’ve pulled my kitty socks up and got shit done. I’ve had fun, met up with friends, lunched, drank and had the most divine time with my babies…BUT THIS WEEKEND, after a long week of work (and I did feel sorry for myself all last week) I’VE MANAGED TO GET BE SO PRODUCTIVE AND ACTUALLY GET SHIT DONE.

I’ve smashed it and loved it. No feeling is better to me than that feeling of actually committing to being productive and seeing the results from it. I know!!!

I’ve made sure that i’m all over your news feeds, i’ve replied to all of my messages, I’ve drawn you to fan pages, instagram pages, Tweeted my way into your lives and Snapchatted bits of life, to beckon you into Wunna land like I have Haribo in my pocket or something. 🙂 It’s worked and right now, you’re being a great audience. It almost turns me on. Lol. I mean, I only put in a BIT OF WORK to see what would happened. So if I got my glitter elbow grease out….I’d nail it. I’m feeling really confident. It’s crazy. I’m on FIRE! It’s sexy. I’m feeling sexy. 😉 I mean, I might have even felt so sexy that I Googled Porny Gifs to utilize my feeling of ‘sexy’ into ‘expression. LOL. Just me. No one else. Keeps you out of trouble. What? It’s good for you! 🙂 I’m like a dog on heat right now. I don’t know what’s up with me? I need 24 cold showers…and a seat belt. I’m feeling ‘more than usually’ kinksville. I need to slow my libido roll down.

I love these moments where I put down my daiquiri and make hay whilst the sun’s still shining. I’m ambitious so when I see results..I love it. I’m brimming over with this cheeky prosecco bubbliness. I feel amazing and I hope you do to!

My mind works weirdly, so as Jack Parson’s had told me I’m getting ideas, jotting my them down, whacking them on my walls on Post It’s and slowly putting together a plan. I’m NOT business minded. I’m a creative. I’m really creative. I’m an entertainer. So its almost like I have to approach business creatively or with more thought…OR just work with/hire the right people.

I hope you’re going to enjoy today?I have a few errands to run, before cocktails in Leeds. My friends are either out or doing date night, home life lunches or babies….I mean ‘The Mighty’ (who has managed to produce a second child) text me last night determined to FIND FUN in Leeds, when we were all at home. Lol. I knew that Mel was out, as I met her, Alex & Esme at Ego whilst they lunched and I handed them Garden Centre soap. Lol.

‘Are you trying to say I smell?’

‘Does Esme want a Mocktail. Ruby’s getting one?’

Anyway Mel went off and did hotel night with ‘Her Gary.’ I want a hotel date night. They’re always so much fun. There’s something so sexy sounding about them, right?

But yeah, I’m tired of typing now….

Enjoy the sun…as i’m definitely sure that I want to be laid on some inflatable cactus lilo right now, with a fruit umbrella drink in my hand, about some sunny pool, in a hot pink or leopard string bikini.

I have a shoot tomorrow…I boudior shoot so to speak with Claire Pritchard. She’s an AMAZING photog. I can’t WAIT to be a ‘fallen angel.’ What could be sexier? AND as you may tell…I’m feeling somewhat sexy right now. I’m embracing it as it’s my thing. It’s how I feel and where I feel most comfortable. I love sensuality. I love sexiness…in all forms. More than anything I love being a girl…We should embrace our womanhood more. It’s so powerful, it’s scary. I’m looking forward to filming my Vlog.

Ps/ I’ve spend the morning being obsessed with David Beckhams Instagram page. It’s amazing. You can’t help but love The Beckhams can you? I adore them. They’ve smashed it.

Ppps/ I love that someone actually Googled ‘Sumo Porn’ yesterday and found themselves here on this blog. You dirty bastard. Hilarious.

 

 

Easy Peasy Peacefulness

JUST A GREAT DAY!

One of those peaceful, productive, all over it, on top of it, perfect days of ‘easy peasy,’ where work wiggled by swimmingly and life was delicately sprinkled over with a gentle ease of calm. We worked smart and not hard and we productively got more done than we have in ages, simply because we ‘faced our frogs’ and did everything with utter support and absolutely no pressure. It worked wonders.

I watched ‘Fairytale Blond; get her *lump* sorted and be excited to gallop home to see her Prince Jonny, in their brand new ‘now living together’ home. She’s turned into a proper ‘wifey’ overnight and prepares tea before early morning starts, as her ‘Prince’ waits for deliveries and magically screws new bar stools together.

I shared giggly moments with ‘Firmonnell,’ which at times became somewhat inappropriate, yet honestly people shouldn’t inbreed as it really does make you deformed. Find love with people who you aren’t related to and you might magically discover that life serves you a better shot. Yes. That’s what we came up with today. Yes, we are dickheads, but so glamourous with it, that are charm delights the masses, even when the words we deliver are ‘ouchy.’

Firmonnell: ‘You know if I don’t lose weight at my fat club, they make me go to a fat club counselling session as punishment.’

(She’s not fat. She just wants to lose weight so she doesn’t look shit in a bikini, on beaches around apparent skinny people? She ‘maintained’ which isn’t a loss, so she found herself sat amongst others having to explain her reasons for her ‘need to work harder?’ LOL.)

She other than that and smart work, life has been pretty peaceful. It has been swirled over with a calm merriment that you could only wish for during a ‘hustle.’ I’ve learnt that pressure pisses people off. It does the opposite to what it’s meant to do be doing. When you trust people to do the right thing and get on with it…they seem to…and that alone makes us all smile.

So, I’m having a couple drinks at home tonight and spending my evening chilling with Ruby & Junior. (The Wunna Babies.) I’m looking forward to my Friday in London. My meeting with Jack Parson at Yourfeed UK and then my Blog Awards. I’m calm about it all now…I think I got unnecessarily stressed. I’ve been so productive from all angles today that it’s sort of made me feel whole…like i’ve achieved. At the end of the day, to be finalized as one of the BEST creators of Digital Content in the nation, in my category, is totally something special. I’ll take that and i’ll certainly drink lots of prosecco to it too! *Wink here.*

I had one of my best chick friends panic message me today, as she went on a date with a guy who sh’ed be chatting to online. The did dinner, smooched and then he never spoke to her again. Well that’s dramatic. It’s only been four days…Yet, she’s all forlorn and doesn’t know what to do?

Unfortunately, she asked for my help and i’m shit at advice, because I always think that there are no rules to love. YET, even though i’m unconventional, I’m quite traditional and I told her to not chase the guy…as surely, if he wanted to chat to her…she looked down at her phone and there would be a message. That’s what men are made for, ‘the hunting and the gathering.’ Let them BE men. They’ll feel much better for it, in the end. It’s not about refusing to be easy on them and more about letting them take control and embrace their role. It’s sexy. Be sexy.

Double D: ‘Yeah, but I prefer it when a girl chases me…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you’re soft. You’re like a girl.’

(Double D has just broken up with his girlfriend because she wanted to travel and he wanted to buy a house and settle.)

Double D: ‘Yeah, I do get insecure. But..’

But nothing…I think Men should take the lead when it comes to the art of romance, dating and the initial beckon of love. It’s makes us as women more responsive and when we respond…we respond whole heartedly.

Anyway, i’m of to have a chilled one…I’m relaxing, cooking dinner, having a wine and doing it all in comfies, before BUSY HITS ME BIG over the next couple of days.

Just enjoy where you’re at in life…and do it with love. Embrace all the new chapters, people and situations and where you are in life, right now. I always say it, but pay attention to the things that perk your interest, make you smile…make you happy. Pursue them bravely.

Life’s too short to not go for it….The right things, people, situations and opportunities will come to you when they’re meant to. I really believe that. And even though often people suggest you don’t rely on such nonsense…Something tells me that there’s a force of *magic* that always takes of you if you’re a human that deserve it. *Wink*

 

My Easter.

I’ve had the most amazing Easter. The most AMAZING Easter. I hope you’ve delighted in celebrating those extra days off, including the Bank Holiday, also! I actually worked today, so I don’t know what I’m on about? But hey ho, you can’t win’em all. But I hope you’re well. And yeah, I know that the the whole Easter thing, like Crimbo isn’t just about an abundance of choccie eggs and drinking ginny cocktails and more about a story regarding the sassy Good Lord. However, I don’t really know if The Good Lord and I are really that tight…So I’d hate to promo him for no real reason. 😉 However, whatever you’ve chosen to do with these last couple days…as long as it’s brought a smile to your face, then that’s cool with me. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be right now. You did exactly what you were supposed to do.

This Easter I went to see ‘my swirl, the most amazing man I’ll ever know. So with an,

‘I’m coming to see you today…’

and a reply filled with utter excitement and appropriate emojis..

..Three platforms, two trains, selfies with numerous teenagers and a Polish lady who said I was ‘nice,‘ with messages all the way, back and forth with ‘my swirl’ that were filled with a bubbly excited joy….

There I was, tottering out of the train station doors, in my dress, heels and faux fur, as he drove up to the curb *beaming*…and I hopped it lie the happiest little girl in the world.

And right from that moment, EVERYTHING was so naturally wonderful. I dunno? It just clicked and we were off doing Easter together like we had known each other for decades. From the moment I got into the car, it was filled with *beams,* banter, laughter and a simple ease. That never happens? It never happens? But at 13.02 this Saturday gone, life brought two people together…and we couldn’t have got along better. We spent our Easter together and it was AMAZING.

So, the thing about ‘my swirl’ and I is that we’re both really attracted to each other, yet we weirdly already have this friendship where we can just be us and tell each other everything about anything, yet at the same time, learn about the other, understand one another, make fun of each other in play and enjoy each other in moments of lust. It’s like this automatic balance of being able to be really sexy with one another, yet be best friends filled with a relaxed, yet fun banter, it’s an openess. However, at times we almost play ‘husband & wifey,‘ yet it’s all still glistened over with that excitement you get, when something is new. But what i’m getting at, is that it all happened so naturally, without us even having to try. It’s just how we ended up operating. I couldn’t have spent my Easter with a better man. He’s amazing and almost on every level. I learnt a lot about him this weekend….and well he learnt a lot about me.

Everything about our Easter Saturday was chilled and that’s exactly how I like it. I mean, to me, you have to be able to chill with a guy, easily…at the same time as being able to be yourself. We smashed a Nandos, we chilled, he looked after me so well, like he was the perfect gentleman. We got ‘sexy.’ We snuggled on the sofa, we chatted about our lives and then got absorbed with telly watching,

WE WERE GOGGLEBOX. Infact, no…WE ARE GOGGLEBOX. Let’s call casting and make it a deal!

I have never PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING AS MUCH WITH A GUY IN ALL MY LIFE. It was the funniest time. He was hilarious.  Yet he’s actually quite savvy, he’s really smart, really particular, really organised. I’m wild, but sensible. However, I have this respect for him.

But GOD, we watched The Kardashians, a Dinner Date marathon, the Football, Britains Got Talent, Britains Got more Talent, Take Me Out and then cringed at ‘Celeb Juice.’ We ight have referred to someone as an ‘Egg’ and we may have referred to someone as ‘Lurch.’ And we may have taken the piss out of everyone in the history of the world, including ourselves, yet at the same were baboozled by beings who were great.

We’re both chatty, we’re both open..we both think we’re funny. We’re both quite sassy yet well mannered, principled yet gobby. Independent yet stable. We’re ace!

Infact, there was a moment, when we were just sat ‘arm in arm’ on the sofa and I looked at him without him seeing me and we were BOTH in a fit of ‘throw ya head back’ hysterical laughter. And it’s those moments in life that matter. I remember those moments…even if they don’t last forever. You’re life is treasured by those moments.

‘But he had a fucking boat on his head! I’m obsessed!’

‘I’m not choosing what you want to eat!’

‘Surely, she won’t choose the EGG! He’s an egg!’

‘He missed the fucking ball because he was too busy shouting YOOOOUUU RAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAG!’

‘That was so impressive! How have they done that? It must be some kind of contact video thing?’

‘I always need a wee after…’

‘The trick is to not go on the date and stay on the show until the end…’

‘Do you want another water? Or some pineapple?’

‘You are literally SO HOT.’

There’s a swag about you…’

‘It couldn’t have worked out better..’

‘Money is why all marriages break down.’

‘Shall I order the spicy nuts?’

‘I need a 30 minute nap…’

‘We’ve actually been talking for AGES now…’

‘Aww! I take that back. I wish I never said that about him now.’

So after the best, most chilled Easter Saturday, at around 11pm, we both got showered and I got into bed with one of the most amazing guys that my life path has ever managed to cross with. He made me feel lucky. He actually made me feel feminine and I liked that.

But that night, as we both laid tucked up in the sheets, as we had an early start to the next day….we chatted because I don’t think we could believe how easy it was to just be around each other and get along…without any remote awkwardness or weirdness…It was just,….well…..easy….and in life GOD, do you have to cling onto the things that are naturally simple without complication that make you happy. They don’t come to you enough. When they do….I pay attention. This guys is not only incredible, but he’s actually a really great influence on me. He’s really organized and really well planned, but fun and I find that sexy.

That night, after we chatted, we fell asleep holding hands.

I hope I know this guy for forever….But if I don’t…as we all know how lucky I am in the love department….I’ll always remember the time we fell asleep holding hands and the best Easter Saturday ever.

‘I’ve loved having you here with me…’

‘I’ve LOVED being here..’