Next Time On First Dates….

Afternoony, my little trickles of glistening, tinsel torn, kitty wrap. (I don’t know what that means either? Just go with it.)  How are you? I’m great. But knackered. Family airport runs, kicked me in the ‘girl parts.’ I can’t open my eyes. At least if I had ‘goolies,’ it would cushion the blow. Infact, if I had ‘goolies,’ I wouldn’t WANT to open my eyes. I’m too awkward for ‘goolies.’

I love calling balls, ‘goolies…’ like the ‘Juicy’ velour joggers…I want to bring it back! 

I’m currently blogging from Ackworth Garden, by Baby Jesus and the 3 Wisemen. Hopefully some of their wisdom *rubs* off on me, (it’s usually other things that dudes try to rub off on me.)  But i’m feeling lucky!

I’m not too bothered about Baby Jesus, though? He’s been strapped down, by a beautiful chica named ‘Leoni’ who bakes reindeer buns and he now looks a little ‘bondage.’ If I glued studs onto him, he’d be winning at life.

Why am I trying to ruin Baby Jesus? He’s done nothing wrong? Can I get into trouble for that? I reckon i’ve done pretty well to not have already BURST INTO FLAMES, simply by being near ‘Godly’ looking characters.

UGH! I’m so tired!!

(And I’m already getting trolled by keyboard warriors. It’s only 17 minutes past noon. Gimme a break.) 

Okay. I’m gonna cut the crap.

*Slurps Americano.*

Last night, I stayed up to watch ‘First Dates,’ on Channel 4, because next MONDAY, 10pm, I’m on it and they always do the..

‘Next time on First Dates…’ thing, don’t they!

I actually love, that bit….Of course as well as the show! (It’s a great show because it combines, raw and real, surprise moments, with positive banter, dates and love.)

However, when it’s YOU, on the ‘Next time on First Dates…’ bit, it’s kinda surreal????

I haven’t been on telly, on a big show… in a really long time. In fact, it was almost 10 years. Time has flown!! As if it has been nearly 10 ENTIRE years, since I tried to be Paris Hiltons Bestie?? I must’ve got so old, without realizing.

They say that happens….

BUT, luckily,  i’ve managed to fit  a lot into that time. I’ve wiggled out two babies, had a marriage, a divorce, created a sex toy range, been on numerous dates, had a rubix cube of career changes, started a business and done everything in between.

It may not seem like it, but i’ve done alright. But more importantly, i’ve enjoyed it and also met so many wonderful people along the way.

I’ve  also ‘diaried’ it all out. ‘ALMOST’ every day. 😉 I’ve been hungover, busy, tired, scared or lazy, on the days that I skipped.

At least i’m still cocktailing….

You can’t win’em all…

But yeah, I’m much older. (37.) I’m much wiser. (NOT.) Yet, still just as annoying on the telly!! How can this BE!!!! At 20 something, I didn’t realize how annoying I was!!!??!!!  I thought I was ACE!?! Now, i’m like ‘WT *ACTUAL* F!!’

I’m going to take a ‘troll festival’ of online battering….

I usually never ever watch myself back, because like most people, I find myself SO CRINGE. I look different. I sound different But only to me and no one else?? Haha.

However, I can tell you this time, I couldn’t be more giddy, to watch life in the First Dates restaurant, as I strut in and try my hand at love, next Monday.

There’s just something about that place, that fills your heart with ‘ooh laa.’

There’s a magic in the air and it’s filled with goodness, life excitement and hope.

UGH! I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU, BUT I CAN’T!!!

Here’s the clip I saw, last night…

Me: ‘Why have you not told me that I have an annoying voice!?!’

Firmonnell (Chick Bestie) : ‘It’s not annoying. I love it. No one will be surprised by your voice, but YOU! Haha.’

Brett: ‘Your laugh definitely needs a bit of work..Lol…BUT your voice is just YOU!’

Sal: ‘She doesn’t have t tell you….Everyone else will have their cyber go at telling you…Lol’ 

Me: ‘No wonder men thing i’m weird!!!’

Firmonnell: ‘It’s not your voice…’

Me: ‘Can we blame my voice please…K’thanx..’

You need bits of banter to survive it…

(Your friends will have ya back, always! They’ll give you a good roasting, yet won’t let anyone else talk shit about you! Hahaha. The masses who might give ‘trolling’ a go, didn’t go through the what I did, what I have…Some of them, won’t ever have the opportunity to treasure such a moment…and a moment only has to last a second. That’s why it’s important to celebrate all that you are and all that you do…regardless!)

Anyway…

…even though i’m dashed with the ‘oh my goodness…’ reliving the moment will be nothing short of an absolute joy.

I mean that with all of my heart…

I’m the luckiest girl. ..and I love moments like this because you also get to actually SEE part of my life journey, in real life…instead of just in written word.

I mean, I talk about love, dating and all sorts, on a daily. You ask me questions about love, dating and all sorts on a daily, on my Insta Story.

That’s why it’s great to let you BE THERE AND SEE for yourselves, this time. Y’know, hear (Lord help you) and feel with me….It’s almost like letting a ‘book’ come alive! Letting words dance off a page…

If you follow this blog, you’ll get it. You will know how much LOVE means to me. It makes my heart flutter, my eyes glisten and my world go around in a ‘swirl.’

I’m never scared of hearing my heart break, because it’s broken and crunched so many times before, that it’s a trooper…It didn’t matter if I was here in the UK or in West Hollywood, my heart filled with glee and ‘ouchied,’ just as many times. 

But i’m still here smiling! I’ve always given love a go, whenever my heart tells me to, because I know how important it is. 

‘A life without love, is like a song without melody…’

What I’ve learnt about love, over the years is to take chances and that no matter what, your heart will always heal. Even if it takes years! It will always glue it’s pretty self back together and help you feel magic once more, BUT ONLY IF YOU LET IT. ONLY if you also LEARN from the bad times and stick at it. 

When i’m in love, I’m alive.  We all are….Even when we pretend we’re not! Even when we pretend we don’t need it. Sometimes, we fool ourselves….

(Wait! I just need to check to see how Baby Jesus is doing?)

I wish I had more sleep?

I wish I could tell you everything, now! But no can do! I have weeks of blog stories!!!

Why do I look like I rolled around in a pig sty of bronzer, whenever i’m on the telly… ? I look like an Asian Miss.Piggy! But I weirdly love it! It’s me. I’m me. I mean, fuck it, i’ve done it now, haven’t I!

Anyway,

My Inbox is now FULL of guys, asking me out on Dates?  It’s mental. It’s like a spaghetti junction of lost penis.

One guy’s sent me this…

‘Let me take you on a date next week…Lunch and then a random activity.x’

Random Activity?? Hahaha. I’m terrified!  Isn’t that just the same as ‘Netflix and Chill?’ 😉

Code for:

‘Hey Baby, let me give you snacks, then bone you…’

I will tell you that my friends are filled with utter glee, by the simple fact that i’ve actually gone this far to find love….Hahaha..

‘I can’t believe you’re actually on it!!!’

‘I cannot believe you’re doing a First Dates!!’

‘I feel so sorry for your date!! Haha.’

‘I am so excited, because there is no actual way, that you don’t make a dick of yourself! Haha!!’

‘As if, you went on a blind fucking date on the telly! Lol!!’

‘I love this!!!’

‘Can’t wait for this! So low key of you! Haha’

‘Your annoying voice, has just filled my living room.’

‘There’s no way, he’s asked for a girl like you.. Haha.’

So yeah….

Monday, 10 pm, Channel 4….You get to watch me, strut into the ‘First Dates’ restaurant in hope to find true love…..

Wish me luck…

Chrissie, x

ps/ A guy has just sent me this message…

‘So, what ya saying babe…3 pics of ya tits, 2 of ya ass and i’ll transfer £400 to you…’

THEN sent me a screenshot of a bank transfer to a girl who had said ‘yes’ and agreed..

Where have all the good men gone?? 

 

Singalong…a long…

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Sometimes in life, you just need to take a *moment* to hit *pause,* pull your tight knotted bun out, slip into your comfies (whatever you feel comfortable in..for me it’s obviously nipple tassels. Hardly! And just have a bit of a sing song..)

Go for it! *Wunna helps you let loose.* Musical therapy is apparently really good for you…along with light therapy, usual therapy and cocktails?

Fun, Summer, appropriate for Moi song…

And i’ve given you the words, just so you don’t have to make them up. Always annoying when you accidentally sing the wrong words, thinking you sort of knew them like the gospel. Even worse when you do it front of someone else and weirdly style it out, like it was meant to happen. *Been there.*

Enjoy!

 

Sneaky Peek With Clothes Show TV

 

I’m really excited that I get to be involved with The Clothes Show Live this year! It’s the 25th Anniversary of the event! WOWZERS! It’s the biggest fashion event of the year and it’s a piece of fashion history that will always be alive! I’m old enough to remember the TV Show, that swanned the likes of Jeff Banks. (For some reason I wanted to put ‘…and his seven dwarves’ after that and I have clue as to why?) But I also spent many a school trip and many a December each year at The Clothes Show. It truly is one of my favourites because like Sasha Wilkins stated at The Bloggers Breakfast..it’s accessible to everyone. You all get to live it, be a part of it, watch the shows, MEET the designers…spot the celebs, see the new bits of fashion and beauty that are headed into store in 2014 and enjoy the day like it was some kind of glamourous Disney land of all things stylish and beautiful. Great day out for EVERYONE. Friends, family…fashionistas!

And….

I get to cover it! YIPPPEEEE!

It’s a dream come true and i’m completely honoured and I keep going on about it simply because I can’ t believe it.

Along with the fashion, I don’t want you to forget about the BEAUTY. My thing is BEAUTY and I have my own line coming out next year. (It’s going well by the way, the bank transfers have been done and well the samples will soon be here in Wunna land.) So, there will be lots to enjoy for me at this event and i’m going to cover it thoroughly. I’m gonna be there EVERY DAY letting those of you who may not be able to manage the trip this year feel as though you also were part of the magic!

Can’t WAIT!

There’s only 16 days left until the event!

Last night on Twitter, The Clothes Show TV, sent me a little link to a  little surprise, where a few of the faces of fashion, media, Pr and beauty were asked 5 jolly questions, behind the scenes at The Bloggers Breakfast!

It went a little bit like this… (yes, i’m in it.)

There’s something about this event that is simple so exciting. There’s a luxury about it, with a twist of kitty cat joy and down to earth harmony. It’s wrapped in tinsel and the perfect place for any glamour puss to be spending her December.

You all should be going simply because it makes excellent Christmas Shopping AND it’s the 25th anniversary. The event goes down in history. Not to mention all the shows you get to watch! Plus, you get to see me there. 🙂 AND i’ll be scouring everything and everyone for the best of the best in fashion in beauty…in my own fun kitty cat manner. 🙂

I think on the first day, I’ll buy a few items and put them up for grab in a bit ‘Chrissie Wunna does The Clothes Show’ GIVEAWAY. I get to be The Santa of Fashion of Beauty and throw you a little Christmas magic.

You all need to be there!

SO EXCITED

Okay, so away from all that! Isn’t ‘I’m a Celebrity’ AMAZING!!! It’s one of my favourite shows on telly and every time this year I exercise my right to have a major crush on Joe Swash. We all do and we don’t know why? I’m thoroughly humoured by his cheeky charm and thought last nights episode of ‘Get me out of here now’ was BRILLIANT! I loved the TOWIE style date. I don’t think i’d gip if I had to eat a penis. 🙂

Loving the cast this year. Joey Essex is obviously going to be one of the stars. He’s hilarious without even knowing. I have a heart throbbing crush on Alfonso. (aka ‘Carlton Banks’) Especially when he cried. I love a man that can openly have a bit of a cry and it’s just the way he said, ‘that was just a lot more difficult than I expected.’ Awwww……….. My heart. My heart!

Amy Willerton, who went through all that drama with Katie Price, will now make a solid name for herself and well the cast is pretty damn great this year. I mean poor Rebecca. She is one of the BEST SWIMMERS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, which is a GINORMOUS ACHIEVEMENT and she still looks and wishes she that she looked like Amy.
Y’see that’s what women are all about. We’re all like that and it’s heart warming to see her open up. I’m loving it. My Mum is too..she keeps coming over to watch it with me.

 

Life is good right now. I’m sorting out the products for my line, but there are so many other things going on that i’m having to correspond with everyone and everything. It’s great though. I mean since being more positive, life has lifted up. I’ve cut EVERYTHING negative out of my life. I can tell a negative person straight away and well it’s important to make sure I keep myself away form all that. Right now, I’m glowing and everything is running perfectly. #happy