Kittens, Selfies, Success & Crotches….

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This time last year, on this day, the majority of people who found their way to CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM had Google Searched the word ‘CROTCHES.

Yes…you Googled ‘Crotches’ and Google, lead you to my diary. Lol. I thought I was so ‘Sex And The City’ but I was a gusset.

That was the top search of the day, that led traffic to Wunna Land.

Now, I’m not complaining, why would I, it’s great…I have a crotch and I love my crotch…BUT WHO THE HELL Googles the word ‘Crotches?’ 

It’s not big, it’s not clever (well some are 😉.)  It’s just not glamourous, is it? Nor is it normal. So, please let me save your soul. Please do not don’t let your stalky partner find it on your Google History.

Even ‘Wallabies’ or ‘Budget Porn’ is better than that!

I’d tell you what the last 4 things I Googled were, if they weren’t so embarrassing. Balls to it. I’ll tell you anyway….

The first TWO are my own name…and I’m not embarrassed about that. I’m ace! Plus, I don’t do it as often anymore. I don’t care as much. Today I cared because I needed to specifically check something. I’m healed.

Praise the Lord.

The next is the name of the boy that I fancy. (I think it’s normal. You may think it’s moderately stalky. He ma think it’s moderately stalky. But, you all do it. Shut up! Haha!) If someone likes you, they like ever bit of you…they take the good with the bad.

And the final thing on my Google Search History is the name of a TV show that I’m hoping to show up on…

Crotches…

Is not on my list….(Ruder things have been though.)

However, and of course, a year has passed and the NUMBER ONE words SEARCHED…and placed into Google to find CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM are…

 ‘CHRISSIE WUNNA.’

BOOM! SHAKE YA CROTCHES!

I’m done with that…

Today’s been great. Life is wonderful. I’m the luckiest girl in all the world. I say it all the time. But I mean it. I can’t believe how fortunate I feel. I’ve worked. I’ve selfied. I’ve sorted out my socials and I had two auditions for shows today. I have one tomorrow late afternoon.

Today’s went well …and either way, i just really enjoyed doing them. I LOVE AUDITIONING. I love blogging. And that’s now my life. I’m lucky that I get to do what I love.

If I could say anything and I hate advice giving….But I’m so passionate about this how living life thing, aren’t I!

To me, it’s important that you take the necessary risks to get to your ‘happy place.’ What’s the point to muddling along or feeling unfulfilled? So many people ‘slow paddle’ in the mundane. It’s dull.

Yeah, you might be scared. Yeah you might fail. But in the words of Will Smith…(who is every girl’s crush)…

’You’ve got to feel failure, more failure and more failure, to order to WIN IN THE END.’

Like they always say, ‘COMFORT ZONES’ are beautiful places..but NOTHING EVER GROWS THERE. It’s dead land.

But don’t panic. You’re gonna be fine. Especially, if you’re a guy. I think it’s a GIRLS WORLD right now…and that is gonna continue to GROW. It makes guys panic, as they’re under pressure to make sure they can support their families, love their wives, pay for the world and back, make their mark on the success ladder, grow old, but still look handsome. I guess, the same things as women go through…I take that back. It’s what all humans go through. We all feel pressure at times and we shouldn’t.

What happens, happens.

So make you dreams come true. You can do it. Everything you want to achieve… You CAN ACHIEVE IT. Someone, somewhere in the world has already managed to do it. You’ve got ONE LIFE, with a hopeful 100 years to do whatever you so wish.

People start everywhere. I mean GOD, Brad Pitt used to be the ‘Clucky Chicken’ Mascot that stood outside El Pollo Loco’ (which is like the US KFC.’) Jack Nicholson said he heard SIX HUNDRED ‘NO THANK YOU’S’ before he got his first ‘Yes.’

You’re never too old. You’re never too young. You’re ready when your ‘lion heart’ is juiced. And you’ve got to be ready, because if you’re not…you’re gonna get out ‘juiced’ by idiots like me. I’ll juice you all about. 🙂

YIPPPEEE!

But honestly,  Life will throw you a bone, when you show a bit of heart. Trust me. And then you’ll hear stories from all sorts of people, some you know personally, some you don’t.. who wish and wonder how you did it, how you did your version of ‘success’…and it’s simply because you at least TRIED..which was something they never dare do!

God. I’ve got all preachy. My pants probably have Oprah’s face printed on them, right now.

Anyway…

Today…I bumped into my old school friend Kate. She’s hilarious. She found me and hugged me from behind. I jumped with a silent…

‘WHO THE HELL IS TOUCHING ME. DON’T TOUCH ME!’ 🙂

We pissed ourselves laughing and then I kinda noticed that she was in pretty good ‘workout’ shape. She was all thin and buff and in gym wear, at the school pick up. I was in a fluffy white faux fur and knee high boots. We both actually went to that school, and are associated with children who school there now. We didn’t just kick it there for a laugh. (Just so you know. Lol)

Kate: ‘Time off…?’

Me: ‘You look amazing…’

Kate: ‘Yeah, all I do is go to the gym now. I look amazing. Eli’s falling to pieces, but HEY I LOOK FANTASTIC! LOL.’

(Eli, is her son. I love Kate. You can always count on banter and her loyalty when you need it most!)

Anyway…

Thank you for all my SCREENSAVERS SHOTS! The competition went well…And as I said, all of those who sent me a SCREENSHOT will receive a personalised pic from me…as a THANK YOU. (I’m a little concerned that you’re just looking at the pictures and not reading the WORDS. Lol)

I said, that I’d announce a WINNER picked at RANDOM, by a Wunna Land…and that winner will not only receive a personalised picture from me this weekend, but will also receive a VIDEO MESSAGE….(One person has already been contacted in regards to winning a video message for being the FIRST PERSON to send in a ‘Wunna is my Screen saver’ screenshot. I can’t believe how well that competiton actually went. Lol)

But yes, the winner of the Video Message sent in THIS screensaver…

AND we like him because he follows me on everything, reads this blog daily….and comments on EVERYTHING. You deserve a video message. That’s what I want, I need the word spreading…

So well done! And thank you to everyone who made me their screen saver…I loaded a bunch of them up on my ‘socials’….You’ll all get  personalised pics, this weekend.

Therefore, as I rest and curl up with my kitten ‘Rocco….’

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I’ll wish you the most wonderful evening and I’ll fill it with ‘winks’ and love.

Thank you so much for peeking in my diary…

All my heart…

Chrissie x

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Crotches, Divorces, Engagements & Hot Sauce

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‘Crotches’ is what the majority of you lovelies Googled searched to find my blog today!

‘Crotches.’ Lol

Now, i’d usually be alarmed (even though hardly anything alarms me, even my own fricking wake up alarm, doesn’t alarm me, as Glamour pusses tend to life at their own pace and not because a *beeper* has made them force a *rush.*)

But yes, ‘crotches.’ However, not just any crotches, yet the crotches of Playboy bunnies. *Giggle, cringe.* You, yes you, have Googled ‘Playboy bunny crotches’ so much, that you have ended up here.

Welcome.

I mean, it could’ve been worse. Mosh Pit crotches. Drag Queen crotches. Granny crotches. You name it…I’ll take ‘Playboy.’

I’m having a wine. I’m off work tomorrow. Life was an absolute *breeze* today and even though I have the babies on my mind (they’re both on ‘Daddy days’) I’ve surrounded myself around positive energies, which really does rub off on you. I mean, GOD, i might be feisty, outspoken and annoying, but i’m positive about most things. (Except piggy snouts. I don’t like piggy snouts. They scare me.)

I’ve spent the evening watching episodes of ‘Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend. Yes, I am that *cringe* and self obsessed. I do watch myself always. Lol. But only because I had forgotten what had happened. Plus, i never managed to watch ALL of the episodes…as I always figured, living it, was a much more richer experience.

Ben’s Vlogging and he now as a Twitter. (@bendietjourney. Follow him.) And we have a pizza in the oven, waiting for us to munch on.

I need a tripod and I’ve been using my friends Miller Tripod, which seems amazing, but i want one of my own. I’m rubbish with anything techy, as i was built for pleasure and not for hard labour, or working things that are of a mechanical nature. I was also not built for carrying things, as my shitty Asian arms can’t even handle carrying two, 2litre, diet coke bottles in a carry bag, without killing.

I witnessed a boy with an accidental dodgy eye today. Ruby’s back at school tomorrow. I’m missing Junior, as for some reason he really hates having to leave the family home to go to his Fathers and  firstly, i have no clue why? Secondly, it’s truly hard on me, as it hell beg me not to send him and I’kl have to do it anyway. (It’s not like Keiran doesn’t adore him. But i think Junior’s so used to his home life and family, and he loves it…making him not really enjoy leaving it so often. It kind makes me happy, in a sense as it makes me feel like i’m a good Mum.)

I couldn’t get to sleep last night. The babies went to bed early, so i was sat on my own, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for Ben. When he arrived home, i was filled with glee. We didn’t watch the time, and it was good to see him happy to be home, that we ended up chatting and drinking wine until 4am. I had about 3 hours sleep, (Mums have to get up early with the bambinos) and got my Burmese booty to work. *Life.*

I finally sent off my divorce papers today…so it’s almost fully over with Keiran. I mean, we’re getting along fine, but it’s not as fine as Pete and I are. Yet, cutting a tie, makes everything *clear cut.*

Ben and I had already asked each other to marry each other….ages ago…(I have a ring on my finger and everything) but we just never really told anyone…because it was something that meant everything to just ‘us.’ I ask him every day if he still loves me (lol) and he always replies with a ‘You’re my forever girl.’ Aww!

So, now that the *divorce* ball is rolling…I can sort of freely enjoy my new chapter…

Things are great this year already…and i’m looking forward to what the year has in store.

(I’m currently dipping a stuff crust chicken and bacon pizza, into piri, piri, hot sauce.)

*Pour wine here.*

Chrissie x