I’ll Tells You What I Fancy In GUYS…..

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Hope you’re having the most beautiful Thursday! Going well for you? I truly hope so. You all deserve a bit of love, luck and happiness. And thank you so much for finding you way to Wunna Land. It’s utterly much appreciated.

I’m quite dandy today and I don’t really know why? But i’m kinda brimming over with the ‘joy joys’ and I love it when that happens, because it’s such a great feeling. It fills my sorry ass soul with light.

You won’t know this, but every morning in Wunna land, Ruby, Junior  (my babies) and I are woken up by a hand picked song, that plays and fills each room in the house. I believe it puts us all in a good mood. I’m a huge music lover. And even if you’re hungover, it’s ace, because it makes you think the party is still going on.

Today’s choice was by my five year old, Baby Junior and it was this…So i’m gonna put it on for you, so you can feel today’s vibe…

*Hit Play Now.*

Then KatyP sends me a whatsapp message stating that we should pack up boxes of super strength dildos, make sure the boxes are labelled ‘SUPER STRENGTH DILDOS‘ and drop them outside each of our friends doorsteps.

KatyP: ‘Claire would expect it to be full. Lol.’

Me: ‘It’s fine, we can just chuck in a couple of kitchen knives and say it’s bondage or summat.’

KatyP: ‘We’ll put a soap on a rope in there too..’

Me: ‘And a teddy to cuddle, for after the ordeal.’

Then she gave me a list of Adult Cereals that went along the lines of ‘Fifty Shades of Grain/Special D/Porn Flakes/Rice Friskies’ that I could consider munching, as  I’m actually a breakfast skipper. (I just do coffee and selfie taking and yeah lol…it’s really bad for your system. You should always have breakfast.) My favourite was ‘Cheery Hoes.‘ So if I do ever consider eating before 9am…

They’d be my first choice of delight.

Away from that, I loved Love Island last night. I still fancy Adam. I don’t know why some people don’t. He’s far too attractive to not adore and his personality, to me… is on point. Like I don’t care if he’s sweet, but egotistical, kind, but cocky…In general, I love that in a guy. I love a guy with ‘gusto.’

Y’know, when they know what they want and how to get it. It not only means they’ve used their brain, yet also learnt along the way of life…and studied girls with a sly carefulness. I don’t mind a guy who fancies himself as a bit of charmer, but only when it’s executed well.  I like ‘smooth’ not cheeky. Cheeky is young. ‘Smooth’ is grow ass man. I like a soft gentleman, mixed in with a delicious roaring swag. I go for sexy. I love sexy.

It’s hot.

I still fill as though the Doctor is gonna get pied off by Rosie, ‘The Solictor’ though. I mean, she used date Jordan Weekender…which means she’s gonna swoop on in for MY ADAM. Haha. Hurrah!! Poor Alex.

I had ace chats about this with my chickadee Zara (who works at Creator Hair in Sheffield) late last night. I think we decided we loved each other and then decided that all men were twats.

Why are they though? We’re proper catches!

Then we talked about cougars and how every young guy goes through his ‘cougar phase.‘ I’m not agest by any means. I can’t afford to be emotionally. Lol.

However, I’ve always ended up with a toyboy. I don’t know whether that’s because i’m the oldest girl in the world, living a young life or because I’ve never found an older man, (apart from ONE..who is my mate ‘Trigg’ who i find extremely attractive. I mean, for 42, he’s a looker. You should stalk his Insta: Simon T Trigg. It’s a grow up girls treat.)

Me: ‘I don’t think a 20 something guy would ever really  seriously consider being with a 30 something yr old girl…long term..’

Zara: ‘You’d be surprised…’

Me: ‘I just don’t think, they’d look to settle down with someone quite a bit older, in the end…It’s just a phase for them. Yeah, we’re by far better women, all grown up, no drama and better in bed…

Zara: ‘When you’re in Sheffield at the end of the month. I know you’ll already have somewhere to stay, but feel free to stay at mine. Oh shit. Wait. And that’s not because you’ve just said you’re good in bed. Hahahahahahaha. 

I love Zara. She’s ace. When she first met me, (at the Weaves & Waves event in Leeds, she came with Sam etc) she didn’t like me and was certainly unsure, then hours in… she thought I was okay and finally, at the very end of the night, she decided she did. I literally love her.  I find her funny, she makes my evil soul fill with laughter. She’s a good find. Aw! Yeah and I saw that Sam BURNT HIS HEAD with straighteners today on his Insta story…

‘Mr. Assured Chrissie Wunna, that HE NEVER BURNS ANYTHING, whilst doing hair.’  

All he did was emoji piss himself at me…then got on with life.

(Ooh, i’ve just got a message in from ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s one of my chick besties,  but she’s in France..camping. Once sec, let me see what she’s got to say, because I miss her…)

It was a snapchat of her face with flower filter ears, Lol…with text reading..

‘Thought you might miss my face…’

Why can’t guys be as thoughtful as girls? Why are we girls all so attentive with one another, yet when we date, the guy’s we’ve chosen (aside from KatyP, who has the most romantic ‘Golfer Jonny’…even though she’s *six day* sore..) are FAR LESS so…? Why are relationships always hard work? They shouldn’t be. But maybe it’s me. That’s why I’M single…always. Lol.

I do love, love and i’m a hopeless romantic. But honestly, where is he? I know we’re not meant to have a perfect man in our heads. But I’m quite happy being single until that man rocks up..I don’t think i’m a bad woman. I think i’m a great woman. And my imaginary perfect man, isn’t made up of a list like most girls, it is all based upon how he would make me FEEL. That’s all I care about. Alongside handsome, sexy and stable.

I love eye candy. It’s always been a part of me that’s been really shallow.

I will always want to be with a really attractive man, provided his personality matches up to his looks. So technically, I’m balanced. 😉

Someone’s just sent me a link to read. I click on it, and all it does is unfold me really really slloooowly, then it states as a headline, ‘Paris Hiltons British Best Friend, slips a nips during photoshoot.’ 

Thrilling news…

Love you,

Chrissie x

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What a weekend, Secrets & Cougars

I need two extra days added onto my weekend please! It’s just been a ‘runner.’ Once of those ‘smash out of work on a Friday’ shindigs, that has glamourously led me into a weekend of ‘go, go, go.’ Schedules! Meetings! Babies! Madness! I’m shattered. I’ve lost my voice. I’d like Greek ‘Handsomes,’ in Toga’s to massage me back to good health. I’ve dropepd my phone and smashed my screen. (UGH!) AND, I’l tell you that I’ve accidentally got a dandy bit awesome at this whole ‘game of business’ malarky! To be fair, everything’s gone wrong this weekend. So technically, I could’ve just chilled it with Ruby and Junior in my comfies the whole time. Infact ‘wrong’ is the incorrect term. I’ll say it went ‘not as smoothly as it could’ve.’ But that’s because I spend so much time working hard throughout the week, that when it comes to the ‘weekend work,‘ I’m not remotely organised enough for it. I’ve learnt a lot. IN TWO DAYS. Over the next couple of months. I’m going to SMASH IT. *Cue: Beyonce Helicopter Hair Whip* Fuck it! Add *Lambrini shower sprays* to it also!

I’m just gonna skim it all, as I need time to chill, before Monday kicks me in the *hoo haa.*

Saturday was rushy. I did breakfast and shopping with the babies and my mum, as I magically *whirled* through the dash of life, in heels, big hair and whilst snatching last minute ‘needs’ to prep me for the weekend. I had to go pick up the car from Mercedes. I fitted in an important partnership meeting.

Me: ‘So what it is that you want me to help you with?’

Company: ‘*&&)($£”!$$£&**£, so how much?’

Kinda made me feel all powerful for a millisecond!

*Hands were shaken on this.*

Then, I grabbed my Gucci canvas bag and with the wind in my hair *dashed* quickly across town, in my faux fur to Cosmo’s. Where I enjoyed ACTUAL lunch, equipped with a wine drizzle, with my Mum, Dad, Brother, Ruby & Junior. We’re a really close family & it’s great because it makes my world always feel bubbled over with support, trust and that good old unconditional love. I am never emotionally starved or lonely. Wunna land is filled with LIFE. I always remember to *pause* and enjoy those moments with the people I love. Work is work. Even if you love what you do. Yet if your world isn’t balanced, you’ll find, in time that your soul will never be fulfilled. I ‘smell the roses’ and I smell’em good! 😉

Then I had to rush off, grab an outfit, constantly clock watch, as I treated The Wunna Babies to anything their hearts desired, make phone calls,  organise train times and get home as soon as I could. IN MINUTES, I  showered, tanned, did my hair, face and *pout.* I slipped on the tight gold pencil dress, quickly but delicately buckled on my rhinestone Gina Shoes (the ones that Paris Hilton gave me for getting naked. The poor sods have been dashed through life like glistening, burlesquesy….Wunna land…slaves.)

Kissed everyone ‘Goodbye,’ skipped into a waiting car, flung myself to the train station to get on the next ‘choo choo’ to Leeds for 7.30m, for my 8pm Business meeting, at ‘Mumtaz’ Leeds.

It kinda all went wrong from that point on…

I was texting through my journey, fully done up in a casual corner train seat, listening to the guy infront of me, tell the guy infront of him that he was..

‘Off to an Engagement party…’

‘Oh? I’m off to see some bird. Been talking to her for 2 weeks..’

Abeiku Arthur (who owns the High Fashion magazine ‘House of Solo‘ that I AM CURRENTLY IN) had messaged me, as he had two contributor meetings in Leeds also. We’re really good friends..really good friends and we always piss ourselves at life, our own businesses and at the same time wind each other up playfully, with our natural competitiveness. I WIN EVERYTHING!

The Leeds Skyline draws in, it’s now night and the sky is littered with stars, around me there is a bustle if excitement. I took the fun train to Leeds. That train where everyone is dressed up and ready for a night of cocktailing around the city. The boys with their shirted entourages, the girls in their heels and tight dressed winks.

I looked glamourous, BUT I had business to tend to…

Yet! OH WHAT DRAMA.

Right before I met this person, I was to print off a ‘non disclosure’ form, sign it and bring it to my meeting, to make sure that nothing discussed DURING the meeting was repeated. I didn’t have time to do the form. I couldn’t find a printer anywhere. Life was mayhem. We were messaging back and forth as HE couldn’t find a printer either…and then suggested that we push the meeting BACK to 9pm, instead of 8pm, so he could go and BUY A PRINTER, to print off the form and have me sign it before the meeting.

So, I had to chill for an hour with a wine, by station luggage trollies, in my golden dress and my faux fur, as strangers kept popping up to me and telling me that ‘loved the blog.’ All drunks love this blog. That makes me smile. 🙂 I don’t thing i’ve selfied with as many trashed people in my life. I should’ve charged.

Now, I was Snapchatting EVERYTHING! Thank you to those who were watching all this in action. And Abeiku Arthur was also watching my pain and PISSING HIMSELF LAUGHING.

So after he smashed his last meeting at 7pm, he messaged me to tell him to..

‘Meet me out the back..’

And there he was, with his smug little African face, pissing himself that CHRISSIE WUNNA, QUEEN OF GLAMOUR PUSSES, was stood on her own, by luggage trollies, looking like a dickhead, because unlike his finely polished meetings, MY MEETINGS WERE going tits up!

He sauntered out of his car, walked up to me and PISSED HIMSELF LAUGHING, demanded KFC and said,

‘It totally looks like you’ve been stood up! HHAHAHA!’

‘DUDE. I’m waiting for the guy to print off the non disclosure form before he speaks to me…’

”THAT’S FUCK UP. LOL. That’s not how you conduct business. You’re waiting by trollies I want a KFC.’

‘You know ********* is at ****** right now.’

‘Can’t you just fuck off your meeting and we’ll go there to see them…and then you can just get a ride home with me.’

‘No. I’ve got to be there in fifteen minutes..’

‘Surely people meet YOU because they want EVERYONE TO KNOW what they’re doing??? It’s backwards.’

Time flew with company…company that I was SO GRATEFUL for and it seemed that I was all dressed up with somewhere to go finally! Y’see, the thing about Mr. ‘House of Solo’ is that he’ll always pop up and keep me company…even if he’s performing a piss take.

He drove me to my meeting to make sure I was safe…

‘Right, i’ll wait here for five minutes, so text me….then i’m gone…’

I was fine. I mean, GOD. I’m the most independent chick that The Earth has ever birthed. But that was really sweet of him. He sang and danced all the way in the car, to ‘Boss it‘ hip hop jams, as he drove me, through the city streets.

My meeting was still..

‘I’m en route and running late….

So I stood on the bridge at The Leeds Docks, over the canal, watching the stillness of the night, as the lights of Mumtaz reflected onto the water and with mood lit, skyscraper buildings surrounding me. Tipsy 20 somethings.. in suits, who had been at the races all day staggered by in good spirit. There were couples, couples, everywhere couples. All in love. All excited. All in lust…and for the first time in ages…it bothered me. I wondered where my ‘counterpart’ was? Am I just going to be single forever? My life partner is currently roaming around the Earth…trying to find me. If you see him…GIVE HIM A FUCKING MAP, A LIFT, CALL HIM AN UBER, GET HIM HERE. 🙂

Then my meeting came walking across the bridge, by the Royal Armouries. (Which is where I did the Leeds Lifestyle Awards.’ He shook my hand under the evening stars…as he introduced himself…

AND I CAN’T TELL YOU ANYTHING MORE BECAUSE OF A NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT LOL. 

I got home at midnight. I had early morning breakfast with the babies. We all went to a shoot at noon, yet we had to push it back to Saturday, so I can sort out better styling etc…These shots are going to be AMAZING and we all agreed that we wanted them out there exactly right! (So I’ll be telling you all about it….next weekend.)

I then did lunch with my Mum at my Favoruite Local spot Ego, in Ackworth. What is better than Sunday Dinner and cocktails. The kids love it. I love it.

AND….

I SPOTTED A REAL LIFE COUGAR IN THERE TODAY. I always talk about cougars and joke about how i’m one in training. (I’m not joking. I AM one in training. I always date younger than me.)

But I hardly ever see a real life ‘Cougary Couple.’ TODAY! I DID! And it made me feel moderately awkward. Lol. She didn’t OWN her Cougarness…She infact looked really insecure. Hahaha! Like whenever he looked away, at just ANYTHING. A glass, a light switch…a hot Burmese Oriental chick. 🙂 She threw ‘daggers’ at him with her eyes. I can’t tell if he’s going to get loads of blow jobs tonight, so she wins him back over, or if he’s going to get none for just looking around him?

When i’m a cougar. I’m going to BOSS IT! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! (And Ginners.)

‘What are you doing?’

‘Just rummaging through your drawers…’

‘Aww…If only I had any on..’

I looked at the ever stylish, ‘King of the North,’ we *paused* and then we pissed ourselves laughing at how not very funny we are.

‘Please, as IF i’m not in pants. I’ve had babies. If I don’t wear pants, all sorts of shit would fall out of me…’

Then ofcourse ‘Double B’ butts in with a..

‘Like what?’ 🙂

Hahaha! The terrifying thought of what actually might fall out of me when shaken is beyond me. That’s why I avoid bouncy castles at all costs. It’d be weave, boobs and flipping West Hollywood pretty boys from 2013 that would fall out of me, with a few delicious organs…dashed in a sliced of my gooey dignity.

I hope you’ve had a wonderful Valentines day. I’ve had THE SINGLE, MOST WONDERFUL VALENTINES DAY EVER.

This is one of the first times in England that I’ve been single on the day of love and let me tell you…I have no date, I had no plans, I received zero cards or flowers and I am BEAMING. It almost feels as though i’m the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s odd? Right now, I’m emotionally at my strongest. So warm that i’m radiating this weird glitter glow. I’ve never felt like this before.

I happy because this year, on Valentines Day, I feel so utterly proud of myself because I never ‘just settled’ for ‘some guy’ that wasn’t my perfect life buddy, simply to just go on a date. I don’t feel lonely. I feel ‘whole’ and when girls are of that nature they are at their MOST attractive.

So as ‘Fairytale Blond’ made last minute dinner arrangements. (‘I Ugh, I can’t believe I have to make my OWN arrangements.’) ‘Double B’ went to Marks & Sparks to buy her beau (who’s penis looks like Me in my party weave) the ingredients to a romantic home cooked meal. As ‘Hot Sarah’ ( who let me eat her leftover home stew and dumplings) probably dashed away from her desk to celebrate her Valentine Anniversary with her ‘Handsome’ and as ‘Firmonnell’ stayed in and did love with her husband ‘Big D..’ (Firmonnell’s all bouji now, as i’ve noticed that she’s embracing her inner glam and wearing the cutest little pinny dresses…Probably because she always has worms and ‘fishy bits’ in the blog…. Hahaha!! I’ve accidentally got it in again, haven’t I!?! Lol)

Anyway, tonight, I internally *beamed* because as I flung on my little faux fur to keep my kitten face warm and as I tottered to my car, under the glitzy night stars, I celebrated the fact that, I was for ONCE utterly single on Valentines Day and weirdly the happiest chick in all the land. No drama, no stress, no plans, no nothing…

I walked down an alley way, with a smile on my face, like the entire world was my oyster. My mum even Facebooked me at that point with a, ‘Are you doing anything tonight?‘ Then when I responded with a ‘no’ and a smiley face she couldn’t even believe her little Burmese eyes. 🙂

Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in love, the real kind that gets you in a swirl, an uncontrollable happy swirl of magic. And I know that I’ll get bowled over by his spirit when I meet him. Yet, i feel great for NOT being tied down to someone that isn’t quite right for me. That alone makes me  happy. It makes me feel free. I’m not in a situation where i’m having to compromise what i stand for or believe in.

‘London Business Man’ sent me a Whatsapp message yesterday..one of the Voice Note variety that went a bit like this…

‘I have a lot of love for you, but i’m just hearing excuses right now, excuses excuses, I know you’re busy… I get it… I get it.. I get it. But make a little time for ME and I’ll make a LOT of time FOR YOU….. I honestly don’t know what that means, but it sounded good.’ 

Lol.

I just don’t seem to have time to schedule ‘London Business Man’ into my life….until next month, but just for a catch up…and even though we have a brief past of fun…I haven’t really seen him in over half a year. He’s the one that withdrew his offer of love. We’re good friends, yet that’s only because I’m cool and not nutty, as technically he did choose other chicks over me…every time. Yet, I’m just not bothered, as I think he’s a great friend, and I think he’s a wonderful human, yet I understand men, people, I understand ‘times’ and how he may feel now, that i’m doing well…And yes, he’s not on my priority list of ‘Must Dates’ lol…

But like I said in my last blog, before I deleted it…(That’s the ace thing about lifestyle blogging, you can go back and edit shit out, like it never even happened…:) )

It’s hard once you’ve maybe ballsed something up a bit and you then try to get back in the game. As the second time around, depending on how hard you’ve ballsed up, you almost face a mountain. If you just made a small yet decent rockstar decision to begin with, it would’ve been a a walk in the park. And I don’t say that to preachy. I say it because I have been on BOTH SIDES of that coin throughout life.

But what I do like about him is that he doesn’t quit trying….he’s not scared to ask me out and do it properly Most guys are. I don’t like scaredy cats. What I don’t feel for him right now..is ‘magic.’

It’s that’s chemistry and magic that I look for.

I did do a year ago…I felt so much magic that I could’ve exploded…but that was a year ago…Right now, and when i’m dancing in my finest emotional situation, I see him as just my buddy. A guy friend i’d just do cocktails with to catch up and YOU ALL HATE BEING in ‘friend zone,’ but you kinda put yourself there. 🙂

I haven’t even had sex since last year. So, it’s not like i’m making foolish decisions. I’m making the right decisions for me. FOR once. (Oh wait? Was it last year? It was ‘Eton Mess’…Yes…last year, in maybe like November? Ages ago now. AND I’M LOVING IT. I am little Cougar, Born again Virgin Chrissie Wunna.

But no matter what you did this evening, I hope you felt adored and more importantly ‘whole.’

I got given a decent and loving pep talk by a lady who’s in her sixties this morning and it kinda made me glow and feel strong. I’ve been losing my swag a little bit over the last week. Yet this morning sorted me right out.

Oh? I’ve just got a message from ‘Take Me Out Nick?’

‘Pop over tomorrow when you’re free, so I can make you a brew..’

The other day we were imagining what our lives would be like if we dated ginger people? Lol.

He imagined himself in Valley Gardens (which is a dodgy park in Pontefract) with some ghetto blaster, in the sun and a few beers with his imaginary ginner bird.

‘Where are you? The Maldives?’

‘Yeah, I’m bikini sunbathing with cocktails in The Maldives and he’s moaning because he’s having to sit in the shade because he’ll burn to death in the blistering heat. So I’ll just have to lay here, ignore him and shout him over if I need anything during the holiday…’

HAHAHA!  Then we finished out coffees and got on with life…

Everything feels magical in Wunna Land.

Happy Valentines Day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dates, Mates & Hippie Fucks

Happy Sunday morning! I’ve been up since the crack of dawn rushing around trying to fit everything into the correct life slots. I had a wonderful family day yesterday with the babies,which was filled with treats. But today, I have A LOT of work to get through, my fingers crossed and ‘The Mighty’s’ Baby Shower to shimmie to.

And just like that, when i’ve set my mind on getting through it all with a hair toss and a wiggle. AND when i’m sort of excited to have that unsettled ‘pending’ work part of my brain opened and ready to conquer…in jollies a text from Keiran, (Junior’s Dad,)

‘I’m not going to be able to come get Junior as I’m having to be in London all day at the last minute…but i’m gonna try and get back…’

Hurrah! Lol. *Schedule Changes!*

So, I have a green tea latte by my side, I’ve just gracefully nibbled a smoked salmon/spinach and cream cheese, wheat bagel..(I’m at Starbucks, Doncaster by the way) and I’m blogging. Quickly.

I have a huge tumble of interview questions to get through and they’re important questions, not the usual *Wunna Winky * ones, so I HAVE to make sure that I deliver them appropriately…and they’re for a feature that I’m doing for a magazine. (I can’t tell you about it yet. But I have the questions next to me and they’re so good that they’re intimidating.)

I recently did my Celeb ‘Working Mum’s in Business’ interview..That came out at the end of Jan and it went  really well, as I gained a great deal of feedback from it and as a business THEY also had new interest *peeking into* their space. I like that! 🙂

I also have my feature in House of Solo magazine swinging out next week! It’s all very high fashion…and i’m naked in it…:) and I’m representing all things…Well, i’ll be doing a blog on it when it comes out and I have one on my lap, so you’ll know all about it. I’m excited about it all!

Then there’s a quick event this Tuesday that I’ve promised that I will pop up at, I’ve pushed to get ‘the cover’ of another editorial and I have the interview questions by my side for a different feature that is again REALLY exciting for me. They are the questions that I don’t want to balls up, as it’s an opportunity to inspire. That’s my week from now, pretty much booked up…as Saturday I’m scheduled out also.

I’ve just looked to my left and there’s this beautiful, intellectual looking couple. Couple? I don’t know if they’re a couple or just friends, but I’m obsessed with them, so i’ve made them a couple in my head because they’re sat in the corner of Starbucks, with their eyes smiling at each other, with shy *flirts* all a glow…and they’re playing chess. Aww! Mental stimulation. Couldn’t be sexier! Love them. The girl half of the pair, just looked above her geek chic glasses and smiled at me. I hope my green tea latte hasn’t turned my teeth green? And I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m obviously glaring at her with my over done eyeshadow, big hair and quite ‘not very subtly‘ writing about her. Hahaha.

To my right are hippies. They’re a bit weird and not adoring my shoe game, so i’m not feeling them. But I do like the really old Australian *sweary* woman amongst them. Lol. She’s said the word ‘FUCKING’ almost 92 times in a 8 minutes. I’m impressed. Totally goes with her hippie rainbow jacket.

I can’t look behind me because i need a massage and i’ve done something to my neck, so it kills. How the ‘hippie FUCK’ 🙂 am I going to be a cougar in training, if I can’t even look around to see what’s behind me, without cricking my neck. Toy boy’s aren’t gonna dig that! And people do ask me about my love life always…YES, I’m single. But no, i’m not ageist. You could be 20 something or 40 something. If your spirit plays well with mine, you’re in. Lol.

I will say that out of all the.. on paper.. ‘age appropriate’ gents that I dated last year…Wait? Oh yeah, it was last year….And i’m talking men in their mid thirties….All with great jobs. All with great manner. All with rubbish luck with women…I did notice that because they had experienced such a shitty time with chicks the last time they dated and break ups had sort of come up and *surprised* them…they were a little more jaded, a little more fearful and a little more ‘I’ll do me now,’ than the guys that I had dated the year before that , who were in their mid twenties.

Those guys still had a ‘passion’ in their eyes and a warmth in their soul. There wasn’t anything lonely about them and they weren’t so selfish or terrified enough to ‘try.’ That, I’ve decided is sexy…so I’m totally going to be a Cougar…Yet hopefully get 24 massages by then, so I can at least turn my head around without breaking my back. (I’m never going to be able to ‘reverse cowgirl’ it.)

Yet the beautiful thing about my 2016 story of Eton Mess, London Business Man and The PE teacher from Malta. (He sent me more *kissy face* emoji’s last night. I then sent him a brief reply reading, ‘Hope you’re well,’ to make sure he knew that I was listening, because i’m not rude...and….. he didn’t reply. Hahaha!

‘London Business man,’ well he’s now just bought himself a new Jag, as he posted it on Instagram a day ago and then ‘liked’ one of my pictures. We get on really well as friends now, because we’re similar in some aspects. Yet when it comes to love, he’s more needy than I am. Yet, that’s because my mind is still fresh and going, because I not only have so much more to achieve in my life and I feel like i’ve already achieved A LOT, but right now I’m in an exciting time where in which I’m actually doing it and doing it well! *EEeek!!!* London Business Man is a man who would want me to put him first. I feel like if we ever dated, now that i’m quite busy and on the elevator up…He would constantly try to make me jump through hoops to make me prove that I care. (Like KEIRAN. Note: They are both Aries boys.) If you are a Sex in the City fan…and i’m currently being hailed as the ‘U.K’s Carrie Bradshaw’ he is the equivalent to ‘Big’ in Wunnaland.

And ‘Eton Mess’….One of those really great souls, who has been through some unfortunate times in life, yet regardless he’s happy, so smart and so funny…and no matter what, he always stays on the ‘sunny side of the street.’ You’ll never truly know what this guy is thinking and nothing harsh ever happened between us, yet we don’t really talk now. Our life paths crossed the whole entire way in opposite directions, cutting communication. However, I know that he’s more than happy, which makes me smile…because he deserves peace…

Right now, he’s away doing this…

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But that was all LAST YEAR and I always say that people talk about their ‘yesteryear’ when they don’t have anything going on in their ‘PRESENT,’ in a particular area that they’re rambling on about.

And that’s SO TRUE. As this year there have been zero boys, zero dates and lots of work. I’m loving it. I’m just one of those emotionally ‘happy when i’m single’ chicks and until I bump into the RIGHT guy who I CAN’T HELP but fall for, that’s how i’ll stay. However this single time has been fruitful, as it’s made me sexier. I’m sexier now because when I do bump into my Mr.Right, i’ve spent so much time being comfortable as Little Miss Independent, getting to know myself better and finding my ‘happy place’ that i’m emotionally ready for him…I’m not ‘half full,’ lets say.

I will also say, that I adore my chick friends madly right now.

So obviously my last blog was all about them and when you’re a glamour puss, a single one, you NEED your chick friends. They’re your soldiers, your help, your saviour through it all, alongside gossip and wine. (I’m mean they’re all messaging me now, because we’re all meant to be headed to ‘The Mighty’s’ Baby Shower, but I’m stuck in Doncaster, waiting for Baby Daddies and all sorts. I’ve just seen the word ‘wine’ in the Whatsapp Group appear, so I might NEED to read it all.

Anyway, you’d think they’d love being in the blog, now that’s it’s all up in lights with readers galore….(and they do really.) But oh GOD! These were some of the messages I received from them, once I hit ‘publish.‘ 🙂

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The other message was a *middle finger* emoji! Lol. There needs to be a Glamour Puss WUNNA emoji, where it’s just my little bitchy Oriental face, smiling and pouting at you, with a middle finger up.

Anyway…I love them! 🙂

Yet, saying ‘THEM’ it was just ‘Firmonnell’ who got terrified, incase I told everyone she may of had worms in her ever so glamourous booty. 🙂 HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I mean look at ‘Double B,’ she loves it. She’ll straight up come in with a ‘but his penis looks like you with your party weave on Chrissie, so I can’t give him a…’

Right, I need to go sort myself out. Looks like Keiran won’t be on a train back soon…

Interview questions with my toddler on my lap it seems is a coming….

 

 

That Good Old Wunna Charm…

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My day was GREAT! I’m feeling fun! I’m surrounded by the best group of humans ever and even though things are really busy, we’re having the best time…and when you can balance work with good times’ you KNOW that you are doing dandily, as it makes you feel wonderful. I’m lucky. I know some awesome humans.

I’m also feeling sexy and and a whole load of fun. I’m almost headed into ‘Cougar ville’ as my friend ‘Firmonnell’ informed me. However, i’m not there yet, as i’m still all sassy, warm and delightful…Plus, you are not cougar material yet, if folk (hot folk) are still doing g dolly *shocked* faces at you when they find out you’re dead old. This definitely means that i’ve still got it. Lol. (Shut up, that’s my positive to ‘being old.’ Go with it.) Just to churn it out some more…this convo happened…

‘AS IF. You honestly look like you’re 22. I can’t believe it!!’

‘Well i definitely feel old. I think if you knew me when i as actually 22, you’d look at me and think SHIT you’re old.’ Lol

(Then we cracked up laughing, after we definitely decided that according to proven market research by other girls….well not others girls, just own own dating experiences, a guy who is hot, successful and adores me…does not and will not exist. Hahah.I don’t know why i find that funny. It’s not funny! It won’t be funny when i’m 80. Well..it might be?

Apparently something has to give. But it doesn’t, I swear.I thought i always got what i wanted. So Cupid can chill a second, pull up his nappy and start aiming better. In the meantime i’ll cocktail in sequins with laughter. I’m not ‘settling’ for someone who’s not awesome, or someone who doesn’t think i’m great. I’d rather be single forever with my hot little mulled wine stained lips and deliciously bought for…’rack.’ Hahah. *Sips the gin and tonic.*

ON A POSITIVE and we know how much i love a positive…and i’m not pretend ‘positive’ i’m really a being who can find the fun, the good or the happy in anything. I hate PRETEND POSITIVE PEOPLE, as firstly you’re so transparent and secondly…you’re secretly miserable. Surely a positive energy is not something you say, but something you and others can feeeeel! And when you’re around me, you can feel it…even if i’m being a grump. (Code for ‘bitch.’ 🙂 )

Anyway…

What i did notice from our ‘above’ situation,  is that when two girls can have a banter about boys and how shitty my love life is and actually WEE OURSELVES LAUGHING at it, then we’re on safe ground…and this is because we’re not really that bothered by it, we’re confident that good things will happen, find it really funny and  can relax whilst having a giggle about boys.

When a chick gets all stressy, she’s only does that during her weakest points of insecurity OR simply if she’s hormonal…as ‘Double B’ decided to make sure i knew that she was going to be found ‘drowning in her own tears’ whilst making a coffee and this is after she got drunk on Saturday, slapped her boyfriend WHILST HE WAS IN BED ASLEEP 🙂 (love her..dying with laughter) and packed him a‘You’re leaving’ suitcase for ‘no reason why i did it really?’ HAHAHAHA. She cracks me up…and the funny thing is, they’re madly in love. That’s why i adore it. Haha. He just laughed it off. Great couple!

So anyway, i’ve had a great day and i hope you have too! I’m on top form right now and as chick it kinda makes you feel all radiant and powerful. I’m glowing, with my wavy clip ins in. Lol.

I will say that i’m loving the fact that everyone thinks i’m all young, and i only love it  because everyone keeps being continuously fooled as i don’t look young, i’m just an immature dramatic tool.No, let me rephrase that I‘m a fun loving, witty, giggly…SWINE. You try not to *heart* me, but you can’t as i’m filled with that good old Wunna charm. 

Ps, I’m SOOOOOOO excited for all the end of the year merriment. it’s my favourite time to be social. I LOVE IT! Don’t be dull! Enjoy it.