Bush Frolics & Secret Kisses

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So, not last night but the night before, I kissed a boy, in a bush… at around midnight. 🙂 I haven’t kissed a guy in ages, so I’m not sure what i’m gonna go with, other than the fact that in that moment, I felt really ‘passionate,’ I felt really turned on and I wanted him to be mine.  Haha. (I cannot even believe, i’m writing this. ‘Firmonnell’ my chick best friend, who formed the group ‘No Boys, Just Dicks‘ the other evening, after we decided that all men were a waste of our delicious time, has found every inch of this story HILARIOUS.)

Firmonnell: ‘Wow. That sounds like a dick voice to me?’

Y’see! You can’t form a group with rules and then expect me to stick to them. I’m a rebel without a cause. Cupid likes to **** me over. The last rule, I was told to stick to, was one in LA, where my  good friend DK challenged me to be celibate for a month. I lasted under 24 hours. And yes…again….that time HE pissed himself with laughter.

(Rule breaker. Love maker. 😉 )

In fact, I got shoved into a bush twice, whilst having under the stars banter with Ginger Brad and J.D, outside The Carleton , Pontefract. I made a guy cry at a bench, as day turned to night. I nearly cried. I managed to also get pissed off and *blank* people, for hearing a ‘true story,’ that didn’t come from directly from the horses mouth. I was filled with passionate. Filled with sass. Northern Soul & Reggae Vibes, have been playing in the background and after many a toilet talk, with Katy P. (If we ever go to the toilet together, we need to discuss, gather, gossip or go mental.) We are independent chicks, that don’t wee together. If we go to the loo as ‘one’…then you should know that something is going down.

So yeah, on Sunday I felt lovely…Then I felt feisty. The afternoon before, my babies broke up from school…and I tinkered to feel some World Cup action. Pretty much felt like the only chick in a dress with boobies, immersed in a lovely drunken ‘sausage fest.’

To be fair. It was fun for the first few hours. I selfied. I giggled. I chattered with old friends, made new friends and everything in between. People were making do video calls with their mates, trying to feel me up every 2.3 seconds…and well Little Ollie tried to schedule sex for Sept 21st?

But ‘Football’s Coming Home‘ and all that. So in the name of fun and debauchery, it was alright. It was fine. I probably got hit on, every 3 steps, I took. I mean, the night was great. Will ended up dancing on tables. Little Sam Moore showed up and did his usual ‘Lady Boy’ pic. Then someone tried to set my nipple on on fire, so I *tapped* out and after stating…

‘I just need a wee..’

I legged it out the front entrance and went home.  I was done. It was tiring. It was sort of like being booked on an appearance…but without the jollies of a paycheck. Lol. Yet, i’m not bothered. It’s funny and well it certainly doesn’t do my ‘socials’ any harm.

THEN I got a shitty whatsapp message from someone who should absolutely be a great deal more understanding. 

Sunday was drama and when I pick boys, friends and everything in between….I need to always make sure, that all is at peace, well and stable. Meaning, I am a NO DRAMA ZONE. So, on Sunday I felt lots of things needed saying…so being me…

I SAID THEM…OUT LOUD.

(I might have even hair tossed a little… in anger. I just don’t like to hear things that I should know first, from other people.) 

Ended up kissing in a bush though didn’t I! I had bush foreplay. And to make it even worse…You’d think bushes were great hidey places, right? But no, not at all…because of course, a mutual friend walked by and saw everything.

‘Don’t worry! I haven’t seen anything! Haha.’

(The next day.) 

Katy P: ‘OMG! I’ve just heard. What was it like?’

Hahaha.

It was fun. I’d definitely do it again. 🙂 I mean, gosh, you only live once, so you might as well make your story worthwhile. Well, that’s how i’ve accidentally made an entire living.

Everything just seems to have whizzed by…?

A few days ago, I was sat with Sheffield Greg, who was acting out the Yorkshire Version of ‘Ex On The Beach.’

Sheffield Greg: ‘I’d just sit there, with my 20 empty tins of lager around me and a pile of bricks.’

Lol. He said, he’d be sat on a deck chair, in his swimmers, with a 20 pack of Carling and a pile of bricks by his side. As his exes came of of the sea, he’d just lob bricks at them and tell them to *SWEAR HERE* and get back in the sea!

Hahahahaha.

The Yorkshire Version is so much more fun and BY FAR less ‘pansy.’

Then I did drinks with Ashleigh and Antony. Ashleigh introduced herself to Golfer Jonny, as a ‘raging homosexual,’ and Antony…Well let’s say Antony enjoyed my ‘HOSE DOWN’ post. He even gained me a leg stroke…and a ‘You’re Beautiful.’ (All leg strokes appreciated, now that i’m an oldie.) Unfortunately, I was waving at some other guy, mid leg stroke….which was hilarious.

‘Haha. How awful is that! I’m accidentally waving at some dude, as you’re leg stroking! Lol.’

We both just pissed ourselves.

The other day, I remember sending Firmonnell voice notes, because I knew if she heard my voice, she’d love me..and she did! I miss her madly. I can’t wait to see her again over booze. She’s just my perfect human. She’s irrepressible and nothing I do disturbs her. She adores me anyway! AND has no problem telling me!

Love you!!!!!!!

Katy P and Golfer Jonny, have pretty much spent the entire time being smitten. They’ve galloped ahead leaps and bounds and it’s just really great to see them both so happy.

I’ve been having a flirty old time. Yet..ofcourse and as always, there’s an ‘issue’ with my ‘flirty old time.’

WHY IS THERE ALWAYS AN ISSUE!?!

There’s been sudden smooches on patios, heated moments, smooches outside, leg feels, hand holds, little bits of all sorts….A good build up really, to a frolic in a bush.

I’ve kinda joked this off a bit, in the ‘write up,’ of it all because that’s what I do. Yet, it hasn’t really felt too jokey. It’s felt pretty real.

But, I’m just watching and waiting to see what occurs. Obviously, we’ve talked a lot about it. Obviously, everyone has there own version of events. Obviously, there have been faces of astonishment. Yet, I’ll see. When stuff occurs, I’ll either move appropriately or not at all. 

Anyway, i’m off now. I’ve been at Ackworth Garden Centre, doing Brunch with the babies all morning, teaching them how to Influence. Lol. All they kept doing was trying to kiss each other. 🙂

But, hey, at least they weren’t in a bush.

‘I’m devastated by how unglamourous this all sounds…’

‘Does sound mad sketchy. Haha.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Get a Bit Inspirational….& Pervy :)

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I’ve just got out of an audition, so I’m all pumped and juiced. I love auditioning. I find it really fun. When I was a kid in LA, I used to be terrified, when it came to ‘audition’ day. Yet, after only a few weeks, my friends and I found that we were on around 4 auditions a day, all over LA, for all different shows. I remember, I had The OC, ER, Charmed & A Glamour Magazine, in one day. My other friend had Will & Grace, What I like about you, The OC & CSI. And we’d be dashing through Hollywood, with our ‘sides’ (that’s what you call your audition script) making sure we were prepared and not late. I didn’t really have time to be nervous anymore. Nerves were a waste of time. I had one shot. One read. That read could end up booking me that job. It could change your life. And it did.

I’m back in the UK though now. Have been for years and I’m loving it. The last audition I went on. I booked it. That will air shortly. I did one this morning and loved it, so we’ll see how that goes.

You’ve godda give it you’re all. And I never care what anyone thinks. I’ll go for it.

I mean what’s the point in moaning about getting work, staying in work or whatever else it is you can muster, if you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.

Anything can happen at anytime. More people need to believe that.

If you don’t think so ,you’ve lost FAITH IN YOURSELF. and you shouldn’t because you’re beautiful. No one can do YOUR VERSION of life better than you. I say it all the time. Don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else is up too. Concentrate on your life, your game, your passion, your strut and go back and get everything that they said you couldn’t have!

I was so excited to perv on Love Island, Adam last night, that my excitement got the better of me, I ran out of excited energy and fell asleep after an exciting garden wine. I’m so shit at being a perv. I mean , If I can’t even do that, then Lord Help my rotten soul. Being a perv is such a brilliant ‘old school’ past time. It’s easy.

Couldn’t do it for toffee though could I!

I’m actually loving Dr.Alex now on Love Island, because I’m feeling really bad for him. I hate that people keep treating hi shitty. But i’m sure the magical world of TV has something up their delicious, no scripted lol, sleeve.

WHOOOPPPPEE!

Whatelse? Oh yeah, some maungy girl, sent me an evil message today and insulted my boobies. Don’t bother. Be smarter. Pick anything but the boobies, because they’re obviously such a ‘Chrissie Wunna‘ strength. A weapon. They’re lethal, with googly eyes on. They drink shots and hypnotize folk. Do your boobs do that? No. Exactly.

So, be smart enough to say I have shit feet or something. It would’ve made me cry, into my prosecco, for a good half a second.

YAWN!

I’m at a wedding on Saturday, so I’m really excited for that. Definitely don’t have a dress. Definitely going to end up leaving it to the last minute. But I fancy wearing lemon. Not A LEMON…as that would just be awkward.

‘Chrissie, why have you come as a piece of fucking fruit?’

In Summer, lemon is my favourite colour. I also like boys who can totally rock pink. But do it so well, that it makes all the girls dribble.

I hope my audition went well? I need something to eat now.

My friend ‘Trigg‘ sent me a message yesterday, apologizing for working so much etc etc…People don’t need to say sorry for doing life or their choices. But when you’re a grown up and working so much, you’re loaded with stress by the buckets on occasion and it’s hard to make time for people isn’t it?

I totally get that. I have the same problem. And our lives are manic. We’ll get around to a catch up.

Yet for those of you, who maybe don’t run busy lives or careers, DO KNOW to ALWAYS remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

We as girls, and guys (at times,)we always make excuses for people, don’t we? But only when it comes to love. You’re love life is such a big thing isn’t it? It’s important. It motivates you. It makes you feel alive. But like i said in my last blog, I’m happy being single, yet i’m open to finding love. I’m just NOT BOTHERED about ‘coupling up’ with someone, who isn’t my going to be hero, my best friend or potential life partner/buddy/chum chum…whatever else you can bung in there.

I’m not arsed about the game of love. I want a man who’s not scared to chase love, show love, be loved. I like a man who knows how to get what he wants. It’s sexy. I want all boxes ‘ticked.’ And we all deserve that.

I mean, when you’re older. You know what you want. When you’re younger. You make excuses for all sorts and don’t really know as much as you think you do.

Well that was ME, anyway. It might not be you? But probably.

Right i’m off. I need to find a dress….

 

Kittens, Love Island & A Sexy Bit Of Adam Collard!

 

Morning! Morning! Happy Tuesday! God! Last night, at around 10pm, Ruby came into my room. She couldn’t sleep because she was too hot. I opened the window and she heard tiny ‘meowing.’ Then she screamed..

‘IT’S ROCCO..’

Remember we lost our kitten, on that really shocking Friday I had. It was filled with utter disaster..and I thought it would never end. Lol.

We both rush downstairs…Yet i have nothing on expect a yellow bra and knickers…Ruby is just in pants. We haven’t even thought to grab clothes or shoes, during our dash, because we wanted ‘Rocco’ so madly. Clothes didn’t feel like a priority.

At 10.10pm, last night, we ran outside, in the dark, half naked, in no shoes and finally got our kitten Rocco. back home, where he belongs. I wouldn’t have even cared if anyone saw me. My heart was just filled with a happy relief. Be it Kittens, friends or men…They always come back to Wunna Land. 😉

It was the most amazing experience. It filled us with utter joy. Rocco, is back in Wunna Land, and he is as happy as can be! He’s back to living it up!

Hurrah! Naked kitten saving all the way. It’s like being James Bond, but Asian, barefooted and in the nude. 

Away from that, i’ve been resting and working. I have some really great auditions coming up and some really great news. OK Magazine said that I’m tipped for the new series of ‘Celebs Go Dating’ because I said, I loved the show and was back on your  Reality TV Screens shortly.. They also stated that I was ‘coy’ about whether I would be finding love on the reality show. I enjoy being called ‘coy’ simply because i’ve been called a lot WORSE.

But I’m not gonna life. I do fancy a bit of ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ Yet, that isn’t the show that I’m on.

I’ve managed to meet up with KatyP for drinks. She’s lost her bank card and needs booze running through her system. I don’t know what we were talking about the other day, but something to do with how I hate horror movies and sausage dogs. (I never watch horror movies. I can’t stand feeling creeped out.) Weirdly, Julie & Golfer Jonny said that they watched some horror movie called ‘Carrie?’ Something like that anyway?

I was only half listening because Katy P and I were evil cackling about something far more entertaining…(like sex for money, who we’d like to have sex with once… and hobbit feet) but all that happened in the movie was some teenage girl called ‘Carrie’ goes in the shower, get’s her period, people start chucking tampons at her and shouting ‘plug it in?’ Eh? Then she kills everyone….

That’s not a horror movie. That’s just normal real life for a teen. She was just hormonal. Give the girl a break.

I’ve got a couple shoots to be doing and i’m so excited about the new bars and hotels that I am soon to be influencing. I’m also back in Sheffield towards to the end of the month, to revisit Kuckoo. (One of my favourite spots.) I’m actually doing, London, Leeds, Sheffield, York, Manchester, Nottingham, Spain & Newcastle. (Yet this time ‘on purpose’ and not because i just got off at the wrong stop.)

I’m feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

A couple days ago, I was so lost. But just like that, I’m *popped* right back into action and it’s because I love what I do. I love working. I can’t be left to ‘rest’ unless my rest time is filled with love. I want to make something a bit special of myself…and there’s no shame in that. I know what i’m doing. 😉 (Yeah Baby!)

So watch me nooow!

Oh! I’ve been invited to ‘Da Marino’ in New York, to dine. I can’t remember if I told you that or not? But I have now.  It’s owned by the lovely Chris Noth, who plays ‘Big’ in ‘Sex and the City.’ They figured it was a good match, since a magazine did the ‘UK’s Carrie Bradshaw’ thing. (I know! What is my life!) And yes, again, i’m about to be back on your tv screens. I actually read an email this morning, confirming everything…and i’ve had to wait a really LOOOOOOOOONG time, for it to even almost air.

However, I’m a patient person. I’ve learnt lots in my time and you get what you’re meant to get, when you’re meant to get it. You don’t get what’s not for you. Everything happens at the right time. So I don’t rush anything, when it comes to work. When it comes to love, I’m open, but guarded. I wear my heart on my sleeve, yet these days control how I feel. But yes, be patient, in both love and work.

I mean in love, you can meet someone who’s perfect and if it’s not the right time, you won’t ‘magnet fix.

Yet, you shouldn’t be upset by that, simply because it’s not a bad thing.  Later down the road, be it weeks, months or years….the timing of it all could be much better…Life just needed you to meet earlier than ready…and they’ll always be a reason for that. That reason, you’ll find out.

I completely believe in that. You don’t meet anyone meaningful by accident.

Away from that, OH MY LORD, how HOT is flipping ADAM COLLARD! Jeepers! Peepers! That’s 109 Hail Mary’s from me. I’ll do time in Hell for him. I’m like GOSH! He’s the most attractive man my eyes have ever witnessed on the telly box, in AGES. If there’s a team. I’m on HIS!

HAHAHA! (Why am I such a perv?)

I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to wake up to a bit of Adam every morning! How is he that delicious!?! He’s like a chiseled piece of pie, that I just need to devour.

Even before Love Island aired last night, he was already my favourite. I tweeted it out because i’m waay ahead of my own loin game. Lol. But when he walked onto my TV Screen, he was UNREAL. Hotter than his Promo pictures! And that was it! I was sprung. I’m now hooked. Great casting! I’ll be addicted to Love Island for the rest of the Summer..

From the moment he sauntered into that Villa…That was it! I’m in absolute lust. (Which I always mistake for love. 😉 )

He’s 22 and looks like a grown ass man! What a GIFT!

Thank you Jesus!

But yes, I didn’t want to say it, but i’m delighted with Love Island. I’m already loving it, every little inch of it. I’m skipping the dull bits, I’m loving a bit of Dani Dyer & Jack. I actually like the Doctor. I come from a family of doctors, so I always have a soft spot for one. (Apart the Spanish one that I once dated who tried to *hump* me.) The funny thing is, that as soon as the girls find out he’s a Doctor, all of ‘magical’ sudden, he’ll seem more attractive. *Rolls Eyes.* 

I’m enjoying all the banter. But I’m LIVING for the half naked Adam Collard. Aren’t we all! Shower me in love potion much.

Happy ‘Collard’ Tuesday!

Chrissie x

 

When Wunna Did Sheffield! [Part One ;) ]

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So, I’ve just got back from Sheffield. If you’ve been following my ‘socials’ (mainly my Instagram Story @chrissiewunna) you will absolutely be aware of that. I ended up getting home at 1.17am Monday morning, simply because I was so utterly knackered and fell asleep on my train, after filling my entire body with cocktails and eating a giant Whopper burger. I totally missed my stop…and ended up in flipping NEWCASTLE at around 10pm..by ACCIDENT. Zara, who works at The Creator Salon, in Sheffield, well she offered to throw me a ‘life line’ of ‘need any help babe?’ At that point I suggested that she simply hire someone to find me and throw me onto train tracks or summat?’

I was DONE! I was HAD. Life got the better of my sorry cocktailed ass.

But..

My time in Sheffield was a delight. It was AMAZING and a lot more amazing than I thought it was gonna be, if i’m being honest. I’m Yorkshire anyway, so when you tinker off to work in in the same land, but on different turf, it’s kinda more like a ‘staycation than anything. It’s made me ADORE a ‘staycation’ and now I truly believe that people should do it MORE often. I honestly, had THE TIME OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. 

If I could describe my time in the city…I’d say….

It was a fun filled swirl of complete & utter decadent MADNESS!

I checked into The Novotel, in Sheffield city centre on Sunday & immediately the staff couldn’t be more helpful. They’re young. They’re cool. But they’re warm. The service was literally impeccable.(Esther…You are delightful and hilarious. Sorry, i almost got you done. 🙂 I have that effect on people.) 

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And fair enough they’re aware that i’m going to blog about my stay…I’m not an idiot. However, I watch and scan everything…and not only is that place peaceful, calm and designed so beautifully. It boasts a modern edge of glamour, with a meandering contemporary ‘ooh,’ the service all around, was first rate…I love that the hotel felt so relaxing, because nothing to me is worse than a bustle ridden ‘staycation.‘ I have a busy life. I yearn for peace.

The bar was swanky, the bartender was ‘winks,’ the indoor heated pool was private and my suite was perfectly ‘city‘ and divine. In general I love a masculine or moody looking suite. I don’t know why that is? I like it to look like a New York Business man’s stop off? It’s my favourite feeling when I’m hotelling it?  I much prefer it to light & fluffy…and maybe because it either makes me feel POWERFUL, or just balances ‘comfort’ with ‘work,’ so I stay focused. (Everyone always thinks i’m just tossing it off and socializing. It’s actually work. Don’t be getting it twisted.) 

I will say that The Novotel, they remembered the small things. I’m a ‘it’s the small things that matter’ kinda girl. (Well, apart from in certain departments. 😉 I like gents to be accompanied by the correct  sized trouser ‘bulge.’ I find it such a turn on. I cant even help it? It literally drives me wild…& i’m certainly not apologizing for it. Lol) But, yes…the ‘small things.’ I was Instagram story posting, the bartender spotted my Insta Story within seconds…He noticed that I asked you, to remind me to snack…and in a jiffy brought me over a tiny pot of nuts… with a grin. 😉

I was really impressed. And I love to feel impressed. This goes for work, service ANYWHERE and when it comes to guys.

I got to my room, after two wines and as soon as I checked in, to get showered & ready, I received a little *tipper tapper* at my door. I kitty dash to over, and I’m wrapped in a towel, after 20 minutes of showering, selfie taking, story loading and spying into other people’s windows, in the nude. (I only found Tupac. He wasn’t arsed about me.) I peek through the peeky hole and with a warm and chipper ‘door swing,‘ I was gifted with the most delicately beautiful dessert, with a handwritten note reading:

‘Dear Ms Wunna,

Wishing you a warm welcome to Sheffield. Hope you have a lovely stay with us and enjoy you time in the city.

Kind Regards, Beatrice.’

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I love a handwritten note…It makes me feel all special. It’s old school and delicious. It was certainly a perfect ‘work’ break. What I love about that place, is that they’re VERY MUCH aware that i’m going to be cheeky, with a sophisticated dash of charm and selfie with a ‘wink,’ which often includes zero clothes and maybe sexually suggested picture taking, with the addition of moderate swearing and nude spying. And that is absolutely fine with them. No probs. No issues!

They’re all ‘Let the Kitten do her work. ‘ Hahah

I adore companies, that refrain from judging influencers, simply because they’re a bit naughty or a wee bit ‘sexy’ and instead are smart enough to use that ‘power‘ to their advantage, in order to build attention, or invite in, a new audience.

Over the last 2 days, my story views were the highest of ALL TIME.

Over the last 2 days, I finally grew to love a Sheffield. And I say that because it was a city that I’d kinda forgotten about, really? I mean, if you’re from Sheffield, don’t forget to seek through it, enjoy it, find new bits and love it. There’s so much you can do and often, like long term relationships….when you see something or have something all the time, you kinda forget how special it is, or can be.

I had a blast…and my adventure there hand’t even really begun yet…

A couple interviews, whatsapp chats with my Leeds crew and a quick meeting later… I was dressed, and ready to go meet a friend at Kuckoo, Sheffield.

Now, I’m not someone who’s EVER going to stay in, when in a new city, a new hotel…with new excitement. I LOVE GOOD TIMES, I find my own fun and every inch of me intended to take that piece of ‘city’ and make it MINE for the night.

What could possibly go wrong! 😉

I strutted through street crowds, the bustle and a whole bunch of people dancing and drinking at street stands. They were all dressed really casual. But I was tinkering through, in my heels and orange dress. There was a vibe in the air. A sexy ‘testosterony’ energy. A ‘magic.‘ The city was actually packed. It was filled to the brim with ‘bank holiday’ life…Everyone was out! There was BUZZ around certain corners….An excitement…a ‘flutter.’ But I did notice that night, that the streets, bars of Sheffield were completely FILLED WITH GUYS!

Where were the girls at?

I tottered through the city streets. I think I was on Leopold Square or something? I have no sense of direction and I don’t care because I usually always find my way somewhere, right? Lol.

Me: ‘Where the fuck am I?’ I’m by the Leopold Hotel or something?’

AG: ‘Just keep walking… I can come find you. Wait..’

Me: ‘I don’t need you to find me. Just tell me where to go…’

AG was already there waiting for me. I’m usually never late, but whatever, I got lost mid totter…and had to walk through the maddest Latin street party ever. Lol

I finally got to a large door, with a small stair way and I could see a warm ‘red lit’ ooze of sexy, cocktail dripped lushness, radiating…

Me: ‘I’m here, I’m walking in now…’

On Sunday, at around 8pm….I strutted into Kuckoo….

 

 

 

What I Need In A Guy….

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Life is flying at a million ‘WTF’s’ per hour. It’s crazy. There’s been kitten strokes, smoke alarms and utter madness, that has been *paused* by bits of calm. So much keeps happening to me and it’s a mixer of ‘all things dandy,‘ drizzled with trips ups. I ‘trip up’ well, so that doesn’t bother me. I can always brush myself off and wink my way forward with a *shrug.* When good things happen, I sort of fill myself with a kitten like’ excitement. Yet, I do get terrified.

But on the whole, I’m glad the clouds have hovered over Yorkshire this afternoon, (today is the Tour De Yorkshire,) as it pretty much keeps me out of trouble. I just can’t keep myself in when the sun comes out to play. Yet that’s what life is about. I’m all ‘Suns out, Wuns’ out. I’m enjoying good times, refraining from over thinking anything and trying to just have fun with everything. You’re a long time dead and well, usually, as the fairytale goes…it kinda all works itself out in the end, doesn’t it?

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON…

Over the last couple of days, i’ve spent quality time with my friends ‘Katy P’ and ‘JD’ and we’ve all just decided that our love lives (over wine) are shocking. They’re shit. Does it ever get better? Where’s my Prince, who comes trotting along on some stallion, with his one arm *scoop,* ready to sweep me away? Where is he? (Can you tell i’m Needy AF’ today. :))

Katy P: ‘I think it’s hard for you date. I mean, men get the wrong impression of you, because they don’t know you well enough. You’re sexy and they love sexy…yet they don’t see the softer side to you… I don’t know whether they don’t want to, or if they aren’t smart enough to?’

In love, I’m sassy and i’m quite the seductress…and I love that about me. I’m forward. More forward than the guys I’ve met. I wish guys WERE more forward with me. YET, at the same time i’m a hopeless romantic…and I can’t help that. After years of failed ‘love’ ..all the way around the world an back, (lol) i’ve learnt to appreciate the small things and treasure the simple things in life.

I do like to feel ‘impressed’ by a guy. I enjoy being chased. I love being ‘wooed.’ I’m not gonna say that I don’t adore the finer things in life, also. However, a guy could buy me a room filled with diamonds, upon diamonds, to show me how much he cares…and I’d appreciate the effort, whole heartedly. But i’d never appreciate that over a simple ‘love letter,’ as that’s something i’d hold close to my heart forever. I’m creative and I adore a creative gift. If i’m being honest, I’d adore a creative partner.

Anything ‘complicated’ or too difficult…is not something that I’m going to enjoy. If you have to try so hard to make someone want you, then it’s a ‘no go’ really, for me. They’re not that interested. They’re not that into you. I’m both unconventional and traditional all in one. Boys should chase girls. Always. If they don’t, then i honestly just think they don’t care. (And sometimes that isn’t the case, I know. But i need a brave man.)

Plus ‘Josh The Bartender’ once told me that when a guy loves a girl he’ll place her on a pedestal and that pedestal will be so high that no other girl will ever even come close to her. I’ve remember that and every time my paths crosses with another…I flashback to it.

I miss Josh. Where the fuck are you??

So, after a conversation with ‘Katy P’ about cougar loving, sexting and life… in a Justin Bieber top…

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Katy P: ‘Boys just seem to *go at* sex. Real men, can READ ya body better during sex and grown up women give better blow jobs. We must, because you’ll know, don’t they always looked astonished afterward, with a *where did that come from* face. Lol. But no, I never sext. I’m not good at it. I never know what to say?’

Me: ‘I love sexting. I can talk some filth via message. Lol. But i’m a writer..it’s a strength. Hahaha. But yeah, I know what you mean about the blow job thing. You do know that Toyboys are so in right now. Everyone’s doing it. Shall we get more wine?’

Katy P: ‘Younger men are attracted to the confidence that a WOMAN has… over a young girl. We just say it how it is and get on with it. We’re not naggy. We’re better in bed. We know what we want and if we don’t get it…We sack it off.’

Me: ‘They’re not forward though. They’re more terrified than anything, I think? I can feel them being terrified. I like forward. Not creepy forward. Just emotionally brave men. I don’t like them playing the *game* of love. It’s long. I don’t have time for that shit.’

Katy P: ‘You love eye candy though!!!’

Me: ‘Well yeah. I want them to be hot. Who doesn’t!! But i’m a personality girl. I mean, look at that Creepy Deadpoll guy, that follows you about. I only don’t like him because his personality is off. He’s strange. His social skills are wank.’

Then I found myself stood by hot dogs with one of my besties Jenna, as the Tour De Yorkshire *whizzed* by to cheers. I watched it for a bit and then sacked it off for a drink and a blog at ‘Ego.’ It was there and I supported the women’s race…but let’s face it...ROLL ON THE MEN IN SHORTS!!

Jenna: ‘We might as well become lesbians.’

Me: ‘Bagsy the *lipstick,* one, cos i’ll need you to put the bins out.’

Jenna: ‘You just need someone who’s cares so much, but is like FIRE. Someone who knows what they want…They want YOU and they’re not gonna let ANYONE ELSE FUCKING HAVE YOU. YOUR THEIRS.’

Me: ‘God, you’ve made that sound so hot. Haha. I love that. I’m looking for actions not words. What they DO. Not what they SAY their gonna.. and they need to be self less…I hate selfish people.’

But is that too much to ask for? No. So nowadays, I just do the ‘happy being single’ thing…until a Knight comes a striding in with his ‘one armed scoop.’ I’m someone that will feel it straight away…and i’ll finally be putting the ‘square peg, through the square hole,’ without complications…

Bethy G: ‘Do you want a biscuit. Men are shit, they’re all the same…’

🙂

Chrissie x

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Love, Dating & Papering Over The Cracks

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Happy Tuesday! It’s just a gorgeous day today, isn’t it! Well, it is in Yorkshire. I’m don’t know where you are? Lol. But I hope it’s wonderful and I hope life’s treating you really well. I mean, as humans, we can go through some really GREAT TIMES, can’t we? Times where we’re filled with a rush of uncontrollable excitement. Those great times are balanced out, by tiny sprinkles of shit, the hard times, that we either  REALLY TRULY heal from… or simply ‘wall paper‘ over.

How have I got this deep, so fast?

However, what i’ve learnt in my 37 years, so far…and it never mattered if I was in heels or flats, with a cocktail or a coffee, thin or fat, in LA or the UK 😉 IS THAT it’s THOSE of us, who can not ONLY get back up, EVERY SINGLE TIME we fall. Be it in work. Be it in love. They ALL play into one big pot, that we called ‘life.’

I mean, you hear people going on about how they ‘get back up each time‘…blah, blah, blah. We’re human, we all go through the same things. Tell the same lies. Share the same laughter.

(I mean, I shared laughter with good friends over wine yesterday afternoon, then lied to a random guy, I didn’t know, who’d approached me in a pub, with his number written on piece of paper, asking to date me and seeing if he could take me to London this weekend, to his friend’s birthday party? I didn’t fancy him. I didn’t want to date him. I admired his ballsiness…But I lied and said I was going to a Hen do and wasn’t looking to date. I lied out of politeness, because I didn’t want him to feel bad, when he had plucked up the gusto, to go out of his way and approach me.)

Kate: ‘You’re going to call him…April 1st of…NEVER, aren’t you?’

JD: ‘OMG! What a good time to call him! Call him on April Fools Day… before noon.’

Me: ‘Ew! Shush. Hahaha. Why do I have friends who are such BASTARDS? No. I’m not gonna call him. He knows that…But it was…’

Kate: ‘I hope you’re not referring to me, when you say bastard?’

Anyway, back to my chat, when it comes to ‘getting back up’  IT IS ONLY THOSE OF US, who can manage to do it with an open heart, no more fear, a true warmth and the ability to *carry on* in one whole, but HAPPY PIECE, that are STRONG… the ACTUAL life warriors.

The ones that ‘carry on’ a bit broken, aren’t strutting right.

People sometimes get that twisted. I mean, if you simply paper over the cracks’ then you’re not MARCHING forward at all, you’re dwelling on something that’s done..and you can never move forward at that point. You’re kinda stuck. And, let’s face it, who likes being (in the words of Zara…) sticky and vile.‘ 🙂

I reckon….

Winners find solutions to everything. They do it calmly, without stress. The hustlers work hard to get what they want, stressfully…via ‘the grind.’ The confident ones…have honed their skills so well, that they have the ability to feel the hurty bits, yet still develop, and get back to ‘happy’ quickly, because the not only have faith in life, but they have faith in themselves.

Call me Oprah!

The only reason why i’m going on about this today, was because I was chatting to a friend of mine yesterday, called ‘JD,’ who had said that they had had their heart broken THREE TIMES and two of those times REALLY HURT.

They hurt so much, a BIG OLD WALL OF FEAR...because that’s all it’s made up of…(People like to say, it’s a wall of protection, but that’s simply a good way of glamorizing it, so it sounds moderately mighty.  Hahaha. It’s really just fear. You’re a scaredy cat. Deal with it.)

Anyway, this is what happened…

JD: ‘I literally haven’t dated in years. I can’t do it. My hearts closed. But I want to find love.’

Me: ‘Well, obviously you’re never going to find love, if your hearts closed, you idiot. Love is an emotional connection. Where two hearts NEED to connect emotionally, in order to FEEL love.’

JD: ‘Yeah. I know, but it’s awful. It’s scary..’

Me: ‘God. Don’t be daft. I’ve been through three marriages and tons of relationships. I got married so many times because I believed in love. And I still do, even though NONE OF THEM worked out. I’m not scared to be hurt. I heal quickly and I’m SO filled to the brim with love, that I find it easy to adore someone. Really easy.’ I love, being in Love. ‘

It’s not hard. It’s simple. Ain’t no one coming through the door, if it’s shut. Lol.

Just so you know. My doors FULLY OPEN. 😉

So, if you suffer from the same old ‘JD’ dilema, sort it out, because in this world, where people are deluded by fame and money, or drenched in fear. All the things that don’t mean shit through life….you’ll end you having nothing.

Love and happiness go hand in hand, because they’re both build around positive emotion and not ‘stuff’ or terror. Lol. You won’t have experienced the fullest life by ANY means, if you never ever surrender to the *swirl,* or the magic, of love. To me, it’s the ONLY THING…that makes the world go around.

(Says the single 37 year old. 😉 )

And that’s the truth, as even though i’m someone who is always pre judged…ALWAYS. Which is nuts, but I get it…and yeah, i’ll admit that  I’ve found it hard to date. I mean, a guy can meet me, then go straight onto my blog, (and I do like it when they read the blog,….I do!)

However, I don’t like it when they read about my entire life for the past 10 years, only to JUDGE me for it (Hahahah)  because I would never dream of judging them on THEIR SECRETS, let alone the things they were actually open about. I’m sassy, but you kinda have to get to know me personally to ‘feel’ the correct presence.

I’m light. I’m warm. I’m fun. I’m banter.

And yeah, I do have the type of career that is immersed around people who want fame, money and all sorts…When I was a young 20 year old in Hollywood, I wanted the exact same thing. I sold myself short, many a times for it. And I don’t regret that. I love show business. I love it with all of my heart. I absolutely STILL want to do well…

But when I was 20 something I was really selfish and I never cared about inspiring. Now, everything’s different…because I got to experience everything, that I ever dreamt of experiencing….Therefore now BOTH Inspiring people and having recognition for doing something that I love, makes me smile. It’s actually really important to me. Even if I ‘humour’ it out.

I guess, the 37 year old version of me, is someone who can still enjoy it all, yet at the same time have a really great grasp of life in general, MY life, separate the world of ‘show,’ from the ‘real world’ and pretty much hold my own stance morally. I’m really comfortable with who I am and what I represent. Much more comfortable than some of the people that you will BELIEVE are comfy.

I’m in this industry simply because I LOVE to entertain, whether i’m on a show, writing out my life, acting, modelling, or being ‘social,’… whatever….Just in general just LOVE being an entertainer…a court jester. It’s fun. It’s a buzz to me and it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, since being a little girl. So, to me, i’ve had all my dreams come true! I’ve even managed babies and have a couple of loving parents…What’s left for me to do, other than the thing that I can’t seem to conquer…and that’s my LOVE LIFE!

What have I rambled on about now? I’m meant to be telling you about my friend’s shit love life and Mel’s birthday drinks!

I’ll have to tell you it all, in the next blog.

But what I can say right now…is to all of you who have found yourselves accidentally  or deliberately *scrolling* or *clicking* on a piece of me, that lead you right here…in Wunna Land…I thank you SO much. I truly do. I kinda turned my life into a business and I couldn’t have done that without YOU.

I don’t know people read this blog? BUT I’M FUCKING GLAD THEY DO!

HAHAHA.

Billions of people are doing life every SINGLE second, of every SINGLE day…this is just MY version of it.

Don’t paper over the cracks. Be you. Embrace everything that’s WONDERFUL about you. Give no hoots about those who don’t agree with the way you strut your swag. LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. But most of all… don’t be frightened of anything….

Chrissie x

When I did Creator Hair….

So, the clock struck noon and after a morning of work in Doncaster, (the jolly town that birthed me…) I kinda *blinked* and found myself on a corner of 210-214 West Street in the middle of Sheffield, City Centre…outside a bouji glass door. A glass door, that would tinker me straight into Creator Hair. 

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I said previously, I’d met Sam, Zara and ‘Flat Capped D,’ at an event in Leeds, last Wednesday night…and after adoring the balls of them..quite madly, which was followed by a few ‘back & forth‘ whatsapp messages …I’d booked myself in, with the ever delicious, Sam, who agreed to give my hair, a good ‘glamour pussy’ seeing to.

‘Hiya! It’s me. I’ve got a noon appointment..’

They already knew. They already had it sorted, and as a lady took my faux fur from me, for ‘hang up,’ I kinda eye scanned the place quickly, but simply because it’s habit.

Creator Hair is literally brimming with style. It’s so well designed, with a modern, classy twist. It’s spacious, it’s open, there’s an absolute vibe of coolness. It’s busy. It’s alive. The service is impeccable. The staff couldn’t be friendly (which automatically flourishes you with comfort) and well how can I describe it? The sight of the place and the sound of the place, almost gives you a ‘FEEL.’ It makes you feel like you’re in a bouji hotel, or an executive suite. It plays with your senses….if you just relax and let it.

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And thank GOD for IT, because straight away always makes me feel safe. Lol. If you don’t know me personally. I’m bubbly and quite confident, yet I ALWAYS get anxious, whenever I first walk into a place. I have no clue why? It just happens. Yet, after a few minutes of me *yakking,* to disguise the fact that i’m terrified…I was okay again. 🙂

Me: ‘It’s bouji in here. I love it. It’s beautiful.’

Sam: ‘Hey..How are you? D’ya wanna come sit over her..’

Me: ‘I’ve got a whole bunch of clip in’s in. Shall I take’em out? I had this updo in that I didn’t like, so I switched it out, at the last minute, in Doncaster.’

Sam: ‘Yeah, what d’ya want doing?’

Me: ‘Whatever you want boys…. 😉 ‘

Flat Capped D: ‘I’m thinking, BIG, CURLY, VOLUMED, yeah…?’

Me: ‘Yeah, I love it! Like delicious and glamour pussy.’

Sam: ‘Have you ever had your hair curly before? Oh and it’s jacket..’

(He was holding out the ‘hairdressy gown.’)

Me: ‘Yeah, back in LA, I had it HUGE because I was an old school glamour model. Lol Oh? Thanks.’

So, as he smiled with his eyes, he walked me through the salon for a wash and a bit of glamourous banter.

Sam’s really easy to get along with. I find him really down to earth. There’s parts of him that are sassy. But he’s fun. He’s witty. He has a good sense of humour. He’s helpful. He’s creative. He looks composed. He won’t take nonsense. Yet, there’s a delicateness to him. A side that you just want to mother.

He’s quite easy to read. He’ll sometimes say nothing, but I can watch his face and know what he’s thinking. He’s layered, but he’s fun loving. He’s a gentleman…it’s just certainly swirled in sex appeal. I love him. He’s ace. I actually never knew he was in Yorkshire.

Sam: ‘So Zara & I read the blog, we were in..’

Me: ‘Aw! Good. I’m glad. The one where I made you sound amazing. Lol.’

Sam: ‘Haha…yeah…’

But then I couldn’t concentrate, because he was innocentlymassaging’ my head,…and flowing water through my hair, just doing normal ‘hair washy’ things….Lol….but  OMG, it felt like the most EROTIC THING EVER. I couldn’t even cope. If he had touched, massaged or just anything a moment longer, he would’ve had no hope. I would’ve *pounced* on him.

My loins nearly burned away. Hahaha.

I had to sort of keep calm by making ‘pleasant,’ normal conservation… about dating and makeup shit, so I could pretend that I was all *swag* about it. Lol.

Poor guy. Haha.

I mean, Thank God, Zara showed up at that point and came to sit down, for girly chatter, because I NEEDED to be FULLY DISTRACTED from the ‘Reecey’ head massage. She must have felt my womanly pulse, from afar. Lol.

I love Zara, she just fills me with life, because I find her so vibrant.’ She’s funny and when she calmly bursts into my life path every now again, it couldn’t be more refreshing. Her personality is a really good balance of everything! I love that in people.

Zara: ‘Gosh. You look so glamourous.’

Me: ‘Aww. Thank you. YOU look amazing.’

Zara: ‘Oh Hi Sam. I haven’t spoken to you all morning.’

Then with a *blink* I was sort of sat back in the chair, being pumped upward, in front of large mirrors, wishing I had a wine.

Sam: ‘You know we sell wine. Like you can buy drinks here. You want one?’

Me: ‘Yeah. God! I want wine!!’

And he passes me a mini drinks menu…and before you know it, I had a wine in my hand…

Sam: ‘Hmm…Starting early, are we?

Me: ‘As if. 12.0is a perfectly acceptable time to have a drink.’

Sam: ‘Before noon you’re an alcoholic. Zara’s bringing it over.’

I’m a sucker for a good time. So I went with ‘fuck it.’ 🙂 Well… in fact, I ended up having two wines, because…let’s put it this way…One of the reasons why I adore Sam, is because he can naturally recognize when my glass is almost empty…and sort out the problem.

‘You want another wine? It’s really hot in here. I’m boiling me. Are you?’

It means he’s aware of the little things, the small things…aware of his immediately surroundings…and also knows that I NEED WINE, without me having to prompt him. 🙂

That’s an attractive quality. It apparently means he’s quite nurturing. (So there you go Ladies, ‘NURTURING‘ has been plonked on the list.)

So, he’s curling my hair with his wand 😉 and we’re chittering…We’re chatting about EVERYTHING… his life, my life, his story, my story…what makes us tick, what we don’t like…We’re laughing at the shit things, good things, bad things… telling tales about all sorts and we’re chittering on about meditating…

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Sam: ‘I do meditate…and I write three positive things down after each day.’

Me: ‘You should write a diary.’

Sam: ‘Inspire me.’

Me: ‘Every day, just write out pieces of what happened to you that day….and only focus on how someone or something made or makes YOU FEEL. Like it has to only be based on private emotion. It’s honestly a form of therapy. Once you get started and look back on it, it’s like magic.’

(And it really is!  Expression is the simpliest form of keeping a healthy soul. That’s why I love to keep a diary. SO many people are SO internally messed up because they feel far too emotionally trapped, and cannot find it in them to just express in general. It’s unhealthy.)

He won’t start a diary. Lol.

Anyway, long story short, he’s kitten curling away. (I don’t know he put up with me, *yakking* on at him for that long. I must’ve drove him nuts.)  I’m drinking wine, ‘Flat Capped D’ is giving me back my ‘clip ins’ because they just wouldn’t curl…and I guess we both started talking about our love lives…But that was after this…

Me: ‘OMG. I have such a low pain threshold. Don’t let that wand get my ear..’

Sam: ‘Haha. I’ve never burnt anyone yet. I mean, I do this weird thing with the hair dryer sometimes…But I won’t burn you. Haha.’

Me: ‘Good, cos you don’t want to end up with a crying crazy Asian lady on your hands.’

Sam: ‘Hahaha….Have you ‘eard this…(*He’s Yorkshire, like me…but definitely doesn’t sound it*) She said if I burn her, she’s gonna turn into a crying, crazy asian.. Lol.  I’m hungry now…I’ve got my pack up downstairs. Oh, I did actually burn myself by accident, the other day with the wand.’

‘I WILL cry SAM! I’m emotional. I’m filling up now! Lol.’

Then we’re talking about holidays. He’s off to Ibiza on a stag do shortly. I love stag do’s..cos they’re much more exciting than hen dos. I don’t like ‘cheaty’ ones though. Like what’s the point in ‘I doing it‘ if ya gonna have a cheeky ‘ bend over’ before the big day. Lol.

I went on about my marriages. But luckily for me…Sam is just as unlucky in love, as I am. It’s like the Good Lord swizzled our paths at a crossing, and plonked the two most unluckiest people, who Cupid hates….in front of a mirror, to play ‘hairdressing.’

(I believe you meet everyone for a reason. I don’t yet know why i have to meet him? But I’ll soon find out soon enough… life’ll chuck a welly at me.)

Me: ‘Yeah. But i’ve been married three times..’

Sam: ‘What!! Lol.’

(Everyone always does a face at me whenever I say that. But I don’t know why? It’s just my story. I’ve done it now. I’m a love bunny. I’m positive. I’m all FOURTH TIME LUCKY. 🙂 ) 

Sam: ‘I can’t even hold a girlfriend down, let alone a wife. Haha. But i’m happy with single life right now. But you do definitely need a girlfriend when ya hungover. Lol. I want someone who KNOWS what they want and not too far away.’

Me: ‘Yeah, but love isn’t about geography. It’s about chemistry.’

Sam: ‘It’s a ball ache though innit.’

Me: ‘Hahah. Yeah.’

I’m not really gonna tell you anything else, because I adore an air of mystery.  I love being open, yet at the same time, I love keeping parts to myself. He seems really happy and he’s just concentrating on work right now.

But I had such a great time. It was so much fun. I mean my HAIR LOOKED AMAZING. It was delicious. He’d did such a great job…and i’m really really picky. I’d say, if I didn’t like something.  But I just loved it. I felt glammy.

How HE or any of the other stylists, have the actual patience to stand there ALL day and do people’s hair, is beyond me? It’s really hard work.

Me: ‘I’d start someone’s hair and just be like…BLAH…i don’t wanna do the rest. Lol’

I was really impressed all around, with everyone in the salon. The actual service and absolute quality of their work is  simply outstanding.

‘Flat Capped D’ came to have a look…and take a couple pics.( I like ‘Flat Capped D,’ I always want to cuddle him. He wasn’t actually in a flat cap, that day, but when I met him he was.) 

Zara popped back for sofa chats with me and I just really adore her. I’m really glad to have met her. I’m really glad to have cross paths with them all.

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She actually sent me a message that read…

‘Can’t wait til we next meet. You’re just a whirlwind, a wonderful, bubbly whirlwind’

How nice is that! It made me beam. I love it when people make me beam. It’s heart warming. I tottered through the city streets with a smile on my face.

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Then with hugs all around, I finished my wine and left the building to do a couple drinks in Sheffield…by myself.

My time at the salon was almost like a calming bubble of protection. It kept me safe from the real world. Lol. It was bliss. I’d go everyday, just for wine. Lol

Hours later, I get harassed by what I call ‘perv central’ to the point where I’m scrambling to leave and Sam has a really BIG car crash…and breaks his flipping hand. Lol.

Whatsapp msg:

Sam: ‘Sorry, i’ve just got home, was in a really bad crash earlier…just got back from A& E. Hope you loved your hair!’

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And that…. is what I call…

Life…

 

 

 

Blogging, Firmonnell & I’m in the MOOD for a Date

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Morning, my little pieces of ‘love festival.’ I’m feeling great today. There’s a beam around my soul, a tingle down my spine…a glint in my wink…and a sizzle of excitement in the air. I never know what life has in store for me? Who does? Yet, I just know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

(Even though I spent part of yesterday dressed as a Mermaid and that was somewhat alarming on all levels. Yet, a girl’s godda eat…so if work says ‘today you’re mermaid, start pouting for pics,‘ i’m there. I mean, it could be worse, I could be locked in a cellar, with zero chances of  prosecco and without the ability to selfie. Oh & just so you know, the picture above was taken by Insta: @AaronPix.Celebs & I’m pictured with Simone Reed, who has a new boyfriend, who’s apparently friends, with my friends.)

*Ramble Over.*

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So, what are you up to today? Owt or Nowt?

I’m going through quite a busy time right now, (where everyone wants a piece of me,) but like I said, it’s an exciting time, filled with opportunity, so i’m enjoying it. It actually feels like a really lucky time for me, so we’ll see what arises from the glitter pool. I’ll just keep everything crossed in the meantime and try and stay out of trouble. I’m so sorry to all the friends that I’ve had to cancel plans with for work. But honestly, it’s truly quite busy…I’ll come drink with you, always when i’m free.

*Always remind me.*

Who knew that writing a little life blog, could actually place you on some kind of ‘tippy tappy’ pedestal? I’m kinda in shock, but so utterly grateful. Never get that twisted!

I mean, who knew that, when I started typing out my life in LA, almost 10 years ago and simply because ‘D.K’ a middle aged barista (who kept a diary of everything he ate, because he had an eating disorder) told me to…Who knew that masses of people globally, literally on every continent of the world, were soon to be tuning into my life, as I ‘diaried’ along.

It’s nuts.

But what I love about the blog, is that it’s something that people just ‘discover’ out of nowhere, whilst they’re tinkering through their OWN existence. During that time they accidentally cross paths with MY existence…and ‘just like that’ they find THEMSELVES in this story.

It’s magic.

But I must’ve met a lot of people, because i’ll tell you, I’m bloody knackered.

I have an audition this morning, then I might head over to Gino’s Leeds for a quick prosecco to chill. You all know how much I adore that place. It’s certainly my hideaway and they never fail to treat me like  Queen. (Which I adore. Lol)

Remember last year, I got to speak to Gino and got to watch him work, as I became part of the madness during his stage show and launches…I had such a great time. I always go to the Leeds spot, yet when I did Harrogate, I cocktailed and played table football with, Adam Clayton. I don’t know who he plays football for, but he had his girlfriend’s Chanel bag dangling from his neck, who was also playing table footy with us.

There’s just a great spirit in that restaurant…I do drinks there all the time…and in the Summer, you should too! It’s a fun lunch spot.

Anyway, tomorrow, I’m at ‘Creator Hair’ in Sheffield. This time last week..(as if it’s been a week,) I bumped into Sam & Zara at the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event…You all know who Sam Reece is anyway and I love Zara, because she’s sassy and fun. No one does a better ‘resting bitch face.’ I love her for it.

Long story short…and after a few Whatsapp messages…I’m booked in at Creator Hair, (creatorhair.com) tomorrow at noon and Sam is gonna give me a ‘blow.’ 🙂

I just love saying *blow*

I don’t even know what’s gonna happen to my hair, (Hahaha) I just want to see them all again!! I’m excited. It should be fun. I’ll be blogging about my bouji bit of time there and I’ll try and get some really great pictures for ya’ll to see.

I had this mad phone call with my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell’ last night.

(Snapchat Msg)

Me: ‘Omg. When you’re free tonight, fucking call me. I’m stressed. All this shit has happened…and I don’t know what to do!’

It’s hilarious, because when we have a problem, one of us’ll send the other an ’emergency text’….and you can FEEL the ’emergency‘ in the message. We don’t do pleasantries. We just get tot he point.

By nature, we’re both sassy. We’re not lame…So it’s not like we’re all ‘come over to mine, drink tea, do a face mask and we’ll plait each others hair.’ 

It’s more like ‘fuck this, get gin, come now and sort my life out.

Then we’ll have a big verbal *THRASH OUT* where I’ll usually witter on about shit my love life always is, and she’ll solve all my problems, kinda like she’s Oprah, but drunk…

Once solved, she’ll then deliver her mountains of problems.

I never solve her problems. Lol. I’m too selfish. 🙂 Plus, I’m really shit at giving advice. Hahaha! She’s not someone that needs help. She likes tough love. And i’m good at that! 🙂

Witter. Witter. Banter. Banter. Moments where we *pause* to appreciate how wonderful are, in comparison to everyone else is. Lol.  I go bananas! Then we start accusing people of being ‘DULL’

‘Why are they the DULLEST PERSON IN ALL THE LAND. They definitely have shit sex. They’re SO DULL.’

Once that’s been said….

… it always ends with..

‘Well it’s their loss not mine. So I win!’

(Lol. Yesterday’s *Thrash out* was all about the art of ‘WINNING,’ when it’s mixed with this dodgy thing called ‘feelings.’)

Then it’s like we both just hang up on each other, like we don’t care.. Hahaha. Until the next time, my sweet!

I love ‘Firmonnell’ because I can be absolutely, truly 100 percent honest with her. I tell her EVERYTHING. And I never tell people anything! It’s like there’s nothing I can do WRONG, in her eyes…Even when I’ve really sinned and vice versa, there’s nothing SHE CAN EVER DO wrong…without me finding it funny. 🙂

Why can’t I just find a guy like that?

I’m in the mood for a date….Why is no one taking me on a date?

It’s sunny for crying out loud!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taxis to Angelica, Sam Reece & Curly Blows…

So, I walk out the ‘back room‘ door, now armed with a pink vodka… I thank Gemma, for my ‘back room’ shindig…and Sam Reece walks out of the loo door, at the exact same time. He’s in a hat, skinny jeans….and let’s face it, he’s a much talked about ‘handsome’ that the ladies can’t help but adore…They all love a bit of ‘The Reecey,’ because he *oozes* a charm that is almost magnetic.

All the charm. All the *ooze.* All the hats?

Yet, I needed to go find Sophia…because I’d been meaning to speak to her all night. So, I had to totter off, by the now performing dancing ‘Gatsby Girls,’ who were body popping with ‘ooh faces,‘ tassels and winks galore.. and the poor kittens had to do all that ‘jiggery,’ to  a crowd of Reality TV faces…

Me: ‘Hiya! I wanted to come say hello. I JUST missed you in Spain. Literally as you were just getting onto Spanish soil, I was getting into a taxi back to the airport!

Sophia: ‘I know! I wish I had seen you! It was a good time. I wish I would’ve shot with you too!’

Me: ‘I know. Great combo. I love you. I’ve been watching ya stories.’

Now, in case you didn’t know. I adore Sophia. She’s young and currently on this series of ‘Ex on The Beach’ on MTV. She’d just had a drink ‘swilled’ in her face on the telly the evening before and she reigns by the last name ‘Filipe.

‘I’m Portugese.’

She’s a DREAM. After speaking to her, she is LITERALLY one of my favourite chicks ever. I just love her. So, I need to drink with her again…and will absolutely stalk her until she’s free. 😉

We chatted for quite a while and for someone who’s brand new to all this ‘on the telly,’ entertainment marlarky, she is the most savvy, together, and hilarious girl i’ve met. She’s quick witted. She’s fun. She’s smart. She’s a glamour puss, yet… like moi, (even if I do say so myself,) she’s one of the most ‘down to earth‘ chicas, you’re ever gonna run into. I could’ve chatted to her all night. Yet instead we pissed ourselves.. at OUR OWN rubbish sense of humours, giggled with ‘Marlie Weekender’ and bantered with the super sweet Joe Angus, (who is set to be the new ‘Scotty T.’)

Me: ‘Have to told Scotty that!’

Joe: ‘Yeah…Haha. I saw him in a club.’

Joe was actually really sweet…I don’t know how to describe him? He seemed sweet like ‘apple pie.’ He’s Geordie and sensible, but still giddy and fun. He’s one of the good guys…all responsible, all ‘on time‘ and shit… and offered to drive people everywhere….because he’s kind like that. Lol. He even brought a hoodie, to keep himself warm and normal. 🙂 If you grew up in LA, he’s like what we used to refer to, as the ‘Good Midwestern Boy.’ But he’s British…and from Newcastle.

Get it? Good!

Long story short…The night at ‘Weaves & Waves’ was coming to an end…We’d all at so much to drink. We’d all embraced a bit of an event…and just now needed MORE, MORE MORE….As per usual…everyone fancied going for a few more drinks around Leeds. So fuck it…we did. Everyone always pretends like they’re deciding, and just goes anyway. 😉 (That always happens at events.)

I was chatting to ‘Marlie Weekender..’

Marlie: ‘My Mum is literally the best photographer.Honestly, you don’t even know. She’s like…pose like this. Pose like that…. I don’t know if I like the guy that I brought? I mean he’s hot, but he’s not that social.

Me: ‘She’s like your Momager. Lol. Which guy? Oh him? He’s hot. Why do I feel like a drag queen right now?’

Karl: ‘I like you. You make me laugh…Why don’t you come over here?’

(We start walking over to his crew of ‘friendlies.’)

People started getting into taxis, left, right and centre to….

‘Shall we meet at Angelica’s?

But I followed Karl, because he was gay and that’s what happens, in my world…

Anyway,  I start chatting to his friends Zara, a guy in a cool flat cap (i’m so sorry, I forgot your name) and Sam…(as in ‘Reece.’) They’re all hair stylists and work at a salon in Sheffield…I think it’s called ‘Creator.’ They came as a ‘crew.’

Banter, giggles, whispers and those moments when you don’t know the person you’re conversing with too personally, however you’re liking them, BUT still sizing them up.

‘Why does that dude, look like he’s poured himself into that shirt?’

Me: ‘Hahaha. I like that. His jeans are too skinny though! God!’

Karl: ‘Haha. I love you.’

We all decide to go for ‘one more’ at Angelica’s…But Sam can’t fit me in his car…

Sam: ‘I don’t have enough room in the car.’

Zara: ‘Meet us there…’

Me: ‘Can’t I just fit in the boot? I’m Asian. I’m fine with that.’

Then as everyone kept passing me shit loads of cocktails, to try and ‘finish up,’ and Weaves & Waves were on a ‘Key Hunt.’

‘Why is the key in Manchester???’

I jumped into a taxi with Rick (who organised the event)..

Rick: ‘Chrissie. I like you. It’s funny. I didn’t expect to. Did you win the Paris Hilton Show…’

…and the sexy Emma Woodhams…Who had definitely decided mid journey that she maybe hated all men and that she was definitely Beyonce in her ‘Destiny Childs’ days…

‘Look at me. I am.’

(Notice how everyone doesn’t expect to like me….Lol.)

We couldn’t find Angelica’s for ages. I asked everyone. Rick ran up and down escalators the wrong way, Emma danced and we maybe found Lego Land, whilst singing. I’ve been to Angelica’s 1 million times…so the fact that I couldn’t find it, means cocktails stole my soul.

Me: ‘This is like following the yellow brick road…TO HELL. How have I ended up with you too?’

Then a random helpful dude, pointed at a neon sign above, like it was a sign sent from the Gods…it read…

‘ANGELICA.’ 😉

And after what felt like a marathon, three trip ups, another escalator, a donkey, 42 piggy back rides, a ‘tuk tuk’ wave down… and 42 lifts… We got there…

Me: How the FUCK, do we get to that SIGN…!! Are we…?’

Random Lady (as the elevator door opens):…’Yes, you’re here..’

Prosecco was poured. I spotted Sam, Zara and ‘le crew’ over at a table…we ‘eye clocked..’

But Rick had decided to order us all prosecco, so under the stars, on the roof terrace, we all chatted life, as we pondered our existences.

Me: ‘Right, I’m gonna snapchat the table, so if any of you are doing or saying things you don’t what people to hear…DON’T.’

Everyone laughed…then stopped sinning, for exactly 10 seconds.

NO Filter.

After banter, I decided to go back to chat to Sam and crew….

‘I’m off over there now…’

…who decided to shimmie onto the roof terrace anyway.

Zara: ‘We’re going after this one.’

They ended up staying…and it ended up being really fun. I love to chill and just drinky sip, as I chitter….It’s like the perfect scene for a bit of Wunna Land.

Zara: ‘So have you two known each other for ages?’

Me: ‘No.’

Sam: ‘No…We’ve just met tonight. In fact, I don’t even know you’re name…What is it?’

Zara: ‘Oh? I thought you two had known each other for years…’

Sam: ‘So you’re a blogger, right? Are you in Leeds, cos i’m just in Sheffield? I really like Leeds.’

Before conversations and sitting down on the evening rooftop terrace began, he had to REMOVE the pure sheepskin throw that was laid on his seat…He did so by just chucking it on the floor, in a good old lothario fashion…

Sam: ‘It might have bugs in it… Haha.’

Me: ‘Don’t tell me that, when I’ve got half my arse on it..’

My bum cushioned that flipping sheepskin. It probably thought it’s Mama was back for a nuzzle.  Sam can make ‘throwing sheep’ off chairs look sexy. I just sat on mine…I’m a glamour puss, but sometimes my arse just needs to chill…  then had to pull tables across….. so everyone could fit.

We’re all talking. I’m getting to know everyone. I’m warming up to Zara, because she’s a ‘tough crowd’ when she’s around idiots and bullshit. She doesn’t like it. She’s straight forward, direct and actually lots of fun. I loved her. She’s northern, like moi and will literally just ‘tell it how it is.’

Zara: ‘I just can’t deal with bullshit…and they’re bullshit.’

Me: ‘She’s cool though. The rest of them seem really young.;

Sam: ‘Yeah, I like her. She’s banter like a lad…’

By this point, a gaggle of girls had surrounded the table, all giggly and young, they were oozing with absolute delight, BUT WEIRDLY trying to pretend that they didn’t know who Sam Reece was…Yet, knew his name was ‘Sam Reece’ because the fucking said it enough. 😉

This is all you could hear for the next 10 minutes…

‘Are you Sam Reece?’ Sam Reece? It’s Sam Reece. Is it Sam Reece? Sam Reiss? No, Sam Reece. Sam Reece! What do you do? I thought you meant Reiss? As if it’s Sam Reece…Are you Sam Reece…’

Then everyone asked for a ‘Curly Blow.’ 😉

Sam: ‘It just sounds so naughty. Hahah.’

Me: ‘I know. I love it. Hahaha. I want a curly blow.’

Zara: ‘I don’t know how he deals with that…’

(Some girl was tossing her hair in Zara’s face and sat in her seat…so it was all awkward and hysterical, to watch.)

But let me tell you about Sam. The most politest, almost calm, bit of gentleman…served in the style of ‘male model,’ NOT sat on sheepskin, easy going…down to earth…God of all sex appeal. He’s confident, he’s not afraid to try and win a lady over….even though he’ll do so with swag. It’s delivered with a handsome banter… a chilled directness….almost a determination, that doesn’t make him look foolish. He likes to get what he wants, but his soul is good. He’s definitely one of the good guys, yet there’s an ambition in his eyes…Easiest person to talk to…Northern..

You can’t help but like this guy… I mean for someone who’s quite prejudged…and i know how that feels….he’s extremely likeable…

And I only know all this, because well all accidentally had to become his ‘wing man‘ and we were all shit at it. No. I take that back. i’m really good at being ‘wing man.’

We all ended up going home after a few more…We definitely didn’t let anyone get in our elevator… A girl was screaming for us to wait to get into our lift…and it looked like she’d be ages and have 40 friends and Elvis with her…

Sam: ‘I can’t be arsed with that….shut the doors… Haha.’

Then everyone decided to wait for me, on Boar Lane, because my car had got lost…and I couldn’t describe where I was appropriately.

‘I’ve just walked out Trinity and now i’m by Mcdonalds and Nandos…on the corner…’

Zara: We’re waiting because we want to. Don’t be silly. I’m not leaving you here. Shut up, you.’

Me: ‘I’m fine. Just go..’

And because i’m obviously shite at directing anything, Sam takes my phone out my hands…and like some tattooed ‘all together’ hero, starts chatting and solves my first world….’where is the driver’ issues..

‘Is it that Range Rover? It’s here.’

Everyone gets kisses, everyone makes sure I get home safe….THEY go on to Fiber…I get my sorry ass home.

I’m actually at their salon on Thursday….And I’m really excited to see everyone again.

The reason why I loved the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event so much, was that it was actually filled with people, who I loved. That hardly happens….And, it was great because everyone there was ‘alive’ and everyone their was filled with personality. They were all open and easy going…which makes a blog really fucking easy. 😉

 

 

Spring Cleans, Hollywood & Really Dodgy Fetish Parties ;)

I’m feeling all boated and knackered today, but i’ve got in the bag. My ‘Va Vooms’ on fire and because I feel like the busiest bee in all of the beautiful land…(Bee’s never look that busy to me, they just look like they try and SOUND busy, yet really they just fly around stinging people, whilst being stripey…) However, yes…I am busy with ‘the niggly bits’ the bits I despise. The bits where it comes in really handy, if OTHER PEOPLE do them for you. 🙂

*PLEASE HELP! HELP AWAY!*

And because I hate all things ‘niggly’ and it’s not wine o clock yet….I stayed really focused and distracted myself 🙂 by not concentrating, Googling bikinis and instead cleaned three rooms of my home from top to bottom, listening to ‘Little Mix’ in pyjama bottoms and a bra, and making work calls.

If I ever decide to clean my home that intensely from top to bottom…You know that I must be trying to bury my head in the glittery sand. I once threw out a pan and bought a new one simply because I couldn’t be arsed to clean it. 🙂

It’s like the most boring distraction in the world ever. It’s lame. Don’t do it. Sleeping with Greek men in togas is a good distratcion…Seeing what Michelle Keegan looks like in a bikini is a distraction…Cocktails…Friends, Banter….ANYTHING.

However, Scrubbing and hoovering is NOT! It’s shit. I only did it to burn extra ‘cos i’m bloated’ calories. But now i feel like I need 20 wines…

I have a really busy next 2 weeks…maybe 3 weeks…It’s jammed and at the same time i’m armed with The Wunna Babies. (Ruby squeezed all my Johnsons Baby Lotion of the pink bottle and and filled it up with water. That was fun. That was great! What a beautiful child. Didn’t at all make me want to RIP MY **&&*&*$$£”””” hair out. 🙂

Like the time when my LA guy roommate kept trying my clothes on in secret, when I was younger. I’d lay them all out, ready for a night on the razzle. I’d come back, after skipping off to buy wine, to find them inside out, worn…and smelling of sweaty boy. Lol. But much better than the time, I walked back in after late night Hollywood drinks…and found 7 grown up males, in pretend NAPPIES/DIAPERS, drinking beer and dancing in the living room….

I walked in with my best friend, who’s now a really successful film producer..(Good switch from ‘Party Boy’) and all I could hear was them panicking and shouting…

‘FUCK!!! DUDE!!!!! SHE’S FUCKING BACK ALREADY! DON’T LET HER GO UPSTAIRS.’

But me being Me…It weirdly didn’t bother me. Lol. I found it really funny..Plus, nothing is WORSE than having a secret fetish party and having a human, (who’s not part of the fun) *surprise* walk in…Let alone ‘surprise walk in’ and ALSO make you feel SHITTY… (Yet they were in diapers? Lol. I’m ridiculously laid back , when it comes to ‘taboo’ behaviour. I’ve seen so much…that that wasn’t anything really.

Me: ‘My feet hurt, are there anymore drinks…Why are you pretending to be an octopus? I’m going upstairs…’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘That’s Chrissie W’…’

Roomie: ‘Wunna…Yeah. She’s my roommate.’

Random Nappy Dude: ‘AW! FUCKSAKE DUDE!!!’

Roomie: ‘Don’t let her go upstairs! Oh! Hi, Matt!”

(That was my bestie.)

‘Chrissie, you’ve got some mail and that dude you went on a date with…that weird Bodyguard one…dropped your stuff back… Like a belt?’

Me: ‘Does it say *DIRT* on it? Is it that diamante one? He hasn’t even fixed the *Y* on it, has it…What an idiot. I hate dates… I’m just not gonna speak to him..’

And this was all when i was in my mid 20’s, and whilst my roommate was in a pretend diaper…and he was a lawyer. 🙂

HAHAHA. (Sorry, I’m just pissing myself….. My friend Matt & I did so much better for ourselves…Lol)

Upstairs was awful. Lol. Even I was shocked. I’ve told the story before and it IS embedded in this website…

But yeah…Lol…What I was actually going to say, is that now i’ve told the story…I noticed that the whole random fetish party didn’t bother me at all, yet the guy who decided to try on my clothes, whilst I was out, behind my back, BEFORE I HAD EVEN WORN THEM……

PISSED ME OFF.

So, it must be the little things that wind me up.

But anyway, thank you everyone for reading my blog! I’ve received so many inbox messages from literally all over the world, from ladies, men, girls, guys and saying that they’re loving it, hooked or have just had a first time ‘peek.’

Like ‘Trigg’ had a first time peek yesterday, because he couldn’t follow quite obvious instructions. Lol.

Trigg: ‘I didn’t know I could swipe up?’

Me: ‘What? Even though it says SWIPE UP??’

And a guy from Vienna messaged me this morning saying that he read yesterdays blog and loved it and that HE actually used to work right by me in LA, by The Grove. He has this wonderful Youtube channel about his travels, so I’m gonna check that out today.

Plus, I love that all Ladies, love a ‘school mums’ blog. Unfortunately, I went with diaper ridden fetish party today…But hey…It’s all about balance, right? 😉

I had a moment yesterday, where I stopped a second after being rushed out of a meeting and into a car, where I *paused* and got to chill for a moment….

I sent this message…

‘Missing ya.’

They replied with a..

‘Miss u to xx’

Then life scuttled us along…..

I’ve got lots going on, shoots, influencey things, I’ve got to fit in the time to commit to filming, flights to Spain, meetings, Motherhood…and my friends….

In this Chapter, my newest one…I am being a really shit friend. I went from having all the time in the world, to having no time…Or having to prioritse my time. Plus, I have ‘powers above’ who make me hinder to sacrifices. But I just have to do it. It’s work and i’m building…

But this weekend, it’s my chick friend ‘Fairytales’ birthday drinks…So I’ll be celebrating it with her at The Electric Theatre….

I actually almost forgot, because I had fittings and flights and all sorts of busy mayhem…But Mel reminded me on Monday….I love ‘People Reminders.’ And just like that…I’ll be there!

The Career’s going really well. I’m feeling really confident right now…

I’m gonna SMASH IT.

Cue: FIRE